{--trom its inception in California in 1974 to its highly acclaimed critical suc- ++ l- cess at Joseph Papp's Public Theater and on Broadway, the 0bie Award- winning for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf has excited, inspired, and transformed aud[ences all over the country. Passionate and fearless, Shange's words reveal what it is to be of color and female in the twentieth century. First published in 1975 when it was praised by The New Yorker for "encompassing every feeling and experience a woman has ever had," for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf will be read and performed for generations to come. Here is the complete text, with stage directions, of a groundbreaking dramatic prose poem written in vivid and powerful language that resonates with unusual beauty in its fierce message to the world.
,\'r':r,{r:...:'. 3r;i\{;l'. is a renowned playwright, poet (Nappy Ed$es and The Love Space Demandsl, and novelist (Sassafrass, Cypress & Indi€,o, Betsey Brown, and Liliane)' She lives in Philadelphia.
VISIT US ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB http://www.SimonSays.com
Cover illustration by Paul Davis Studio Author photograph by J. L. St. lvlary
Scribner Poetry Published by Simon & Schuster New York lilffilflilffil[ilil llllillll[ll u.s. $9.00 ISBN 0-tBq-Bqrah-1 Can. $13.00 011?0100 The critie applaud Ntozake Shangob for mlorcd girls who hwe considercd suicide/ when the minbmr is enuf
"Overruhelming . . . Itbioyous and alive, affnmatiruinthefrm ddespain" l4ratt, New York Doily Nerus -Douglas
'?assionate and lyrical.... In poetry and pmse Shange de- scribes what it means to be a black woman in a world of mean sheets, deceitful nen and aching loss." -Allan Wallach, Newsdoy
"These poems and pnose selections are. . . richwiththe author's special voice: by turns bitbn ftrnng imnic, and savage; ffencely honest and pensonal" -Martin Got&ied, New Yorkpost
'Ntozake Shange's exbaordinary'choreopoem.'. . . isadrandc elegy for black women with an undencurrent message for emry- one. Its thene is not sonow . . . but courage. Its strength is its passion and its rcality. . . . An unforgettable collage of one rmmanb vieru of the ryomen of her race, facing errcrything from rape to unrequited lorn. . . . Wisdon and naivete go hand in hand. Wounds and dreams interningle; shong passions nelt into simple courage." -William A. Raidy, L.L Prress/Nenrhouse Newspapers
"Remenber when poetry used to grve you chills, make you bemble? Ntozake Shange writes that kind of **-g poetry. It hasthe porrcrtonovea bodyto tears, to rage, andto an ultinab nrsh dlorn." magnzine -Marilyn Stasio, Cue
'Ntozalce Shangeb poeEy appmaches the force of a whirl- wind"" & worldwide News -EncoreAmericon also by ntozake shange for colored girls who theater three pieces spell #z have considered suicide/ a photograph: lovers in motion boogie woogie landscapes poetry when the rainbow is enuf nappy edges a daughter's geography ridin the moon in texas the love space demands fiction sassafrass, cypress & indigo betsey brornm liliane
a choreopoem/
ntozake shange
scribner poetry for the spirits of my grandma poems by title viola benzena murray owens and my great aunt dork phroses 3 effie owens josey graduotion nite 7
now i love somebody more than 77
no ossistonce 73 s i'm apoet who 74 SCRENER POETRY Iotent ropists' 77 SCRIBNER 1230 Avenue of the Americas obortion cycle#7 22 New York, NY 10020
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents sechito 23 either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, Iiving or dead, toussaint 25 is entirely coincidental. one 37 Copyright @ 1975, 7976,7977 by Ntozake Shange AII rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole i used to live in the world 36 or in part in any form. pyromid 39 First Scribner Poetry edition 1997 SCRIBNER POETRY and design ile trademilks of Macmillan Libra4r Reference USA, lnc., no more love poems #1 42 used uder license by Simon & Schuster, the publisher ofthis work. Manufactured in the United States of America no more Tove poems#2 43 109876 no more Iove poems #3 44 The Library of Congress has cataloged the Collier edition as follows: Shange, Ntozake. no more love poems #4 45 For colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf : a choreopoem Ntozake Shange. ed. 49 / -1st Collier Books somebody olmost walked off wid ollo my stuff p. cm. l. Title. sorry 52 [PS3569.H3324F6 1.9891 81,1'.54--dc1g 88-32633 o nite with beau willie brown 55 CIP
0-684-84326-9 o Ioying on of honds 60
Amateur and professional performance rights to this play are controlled by Samuel French, Inc., 45 West 25th Street, New York, NY 10010, and must be procured before proceeding with production. Pleose Note; Special publicity posters are available. Write to Samuel French, Inc., for details. for colored giris who have considered suicide / when the roinbow is enuf was first presented at the Bacchanal, a woman's bar just outside Berkeley, California. With Paula Moss & Elvia Marta who worked with me in Raymond Sawyer's Afro-American Dance Company & Halifu's The Spirit of Dance; Nashira Ntosha, a guitarist & program coordinator at KPOO-FM [one of the few Bay Area stations focusing on women's programming); joanna Jessica Hagedorn, a poet & reading tour companion; & Griffin, co-founder of the Bacchanal, publisher of Effie's Press, & a poet. We just did it. Working in bars waz a circumstantial aesthetic of poetry in San Francisco from Spec's, an old beat hangout, to 'new'Malvina's, Minnie's Can-Do Club, the Coffee Gallery, & the Rippletad. With as much space as a small studio on the Lower East Side, the five of us, five women, proceeded to dance, make poems, make music, make a woman's theater for about twenty patrons. This was December of tgZq. We were a little raw, self-conscious, & eager. Whatever we wete discover- ing in ourselves that nite had been in process among us for almost two years.
I first met Jessica & Nashira thru Third World Communications [The Vr'oman's CollectiveJ when the first anthology of Third World women writers in the U.S.A. was published. With janice Mirikitani, Avotcja, Carol Lee Sanchez, Janet Campbell Hale, Kitty Tsui, |anic Cobb, Thulani, and a score more, San Francisco waz inundated with women poets, women's readings, & a multi- linguai woman presence, new to all of us & desperately appreciated. The force of these readings on all our lives waz to
ixl become evident as we directed our energies toward clarifying our Such joy & excitement I knew in Sonoma, then I would commute ]ives-& the lives of our mothers, daughters, & grancimothers_ back the sixty miles to San Francisco to study dance with as women. During the same period, Shameless Hussy press & The Raymond Sawyer, Ed Mock, & Halifu. Knowing a woman's mind oakland women's press coilective were arso reading anywhere & spirit had been allowed me, with dance I discovered my body & everywhere they could. In a single season, Susan Griffin, more intimately than I had imagined possible. With the Grahn, |udy Barbara Gravelle, & Alta, were promoting the poetry acceptance of the ethnicity of my thighs & backside, came a clearer & presence of women in a legendary male_poet,s environment. understanding of my voice as a woman & as a poet. The freedom This is the energy & part of the style that nurtured for colorcd to move in space, to demand of my own sweat a perfection girls . . . that could continually be approached, though never known, waz poem to me, my body & mind ellipsing, probably for the first More stable as a source of inspiration & historical continuity waz time in my life. ]ust as Women's Studies had rooted me to an the program Women's Studies at Sonoma State College, where articulated female heritage & imperative, so dance as explicated I worked with |. f. Wilson, ]oanna Griffin, & Wopo Holup over a by Raymond Sawyer & Ed Mock insisted that everything African, three year span. Courses designed to make women's lives & everything halfway colloquial, a grimace, a strut, an arched dynamics familiar to us, such as: Woman as Artist; Woman as back over a yawn, waz mine. I moved what waz my unconscious Poet; Androgynous Myths in Literature; Women,s Biography I & II; knowledge of being in a colored woman's body to my known Third World Women Writers, are inextricably bound to the everydayness. The depth of my past waz made tangible to me in development of my sense of the world, myself, & women,s lan_ Sawyer's Anonse, a dance exploring the Diaspora to contemporary guage. Studying the mythology of women from antiquity to the Senegalese music, pulling ancient trampled spirits out of present present day led directly to the piece sechito in which a dance tense Afro-American Dance. Watching Ed Mock re-create the hall girl is perceived as deity, as slut, as innocent & knowing. Step Brothers' or Bert Williams' routines in class or on stage, in Unearthing the mislaid, forgotten, &/or misunderstood women black face mimicking Eddie Cantor or Gloria Swanson, being writers, painters, mothers, cowgirls, & union leaders of our the rush of irony & control that are the foundation of iazz dance, pasts proved to be both a supportive experience & a challenge not was as startling as humbling. With Raymond Sawyer & Ed Mock, to let them down, not to do less than-at all costs not be less Paula Moss & I learned the wealth of our bodies, if we worked, woman than-our mothers, from Isis to Marie Laurencin, Zora if we opened up, if we made the dance our own. Neale Hurtson to Kathe Kollwitz, Anna May Wong to Calamity |ane. The first experience of women's theater for me as a performer
xl xil waz the months I spent with Halifu Osumare's The Spirit of us if I found space. & I did. The space we used waz the space Dance, a troupe of five to six black women who depicted the I knew: Women's Studies Departments, bars, cafes, & poetry history of Black dance from its origins in western Africa thru to centers. With the selection of poems changing, dependent upon our the popular dances seen on our streets. without a premeditated or audience & our mood, & the dance growing to take space of its conscious desire to create a female piece, that's what, in fact, own, so that Paula inspired my words to fall from me with her Halifu did. working in san Francisco & Berkerey public schoors body, & The Sound Clinic working with new arrangements of as an adjunct to Ethnic studies, I learned the mechanics of self- Ornette Coleman compositions & their own, The Raggae Blues production & absorbed some of Halifu's confidence in her work, Band giving Caribbean renditions of ]imi Hendrix & Redding' we the legitimacy of our visions. After some 73 performances set dates for Minnie's Can-Do Club in Haight-Ashbury' The with The spirit of Dance, I reft the company to begin production poets showed up for us, the dancers showed up for us, the of. for colored girls . . . women's community showed up, & we were listed as a'must see' in The Boy Guordion. Eight days after our last weekend In the summer of. tgrq I had begun a series of seven poems, at Minnie's, Paula & I left to drive cross country to New York modeled on |udy Grahn's The Common Womon, which were to to do 'the show,' as we called it' at the Studio Rivbea explore the realities of seven different kinds of women. They in New York. were numbered pieces: the women were to be nameless & assume hegemony as dictated by the fullness of their lives. The first of Our work in San Francisco waz over. With the courage of the series is the poem, 'one' (orange butterfries & aqua sequins), children, we staged the same sort of informal & improvised cho- which prompted the title & this is for colored girls who have reopoems at Rivbea during the summer Music Festival. Instead considered suicide/ when the roinbow is enuf. I waz smitten by of the standing-Room-only crowds we wele accustomed to in san my own language, & called all the performances I waz to give Francisco, my family & a few friends came to see our great from then on by that title. In other words, all the readings & project. One of these friends, Oz Scott, & my sister' Ifa Iyaun' choreopoetry girls that Paula Moss & I developed after that summer waz who were instrumental in the development of for colored ' ' ' for colored girls. . . . we started at the Bacchanar & worked sawtheshowthatnight.ozofferedtohelpmewiththestaging through the winter at Ed Mock's Dance studio with the assistance of the work for a New York audience, since Paula & I obviously of West Coast Dance Works, setting pieces & cleaning up didn't understand some things. We moved from the Rivbea poems. I found the two bands, The Sound Clinic [a horn trio) & to the old Reliable on East 3rd street to work through some of Desarmes |ean & His Raggae Brues Band, who agreed to work with ideas Oz had & the new things Paula & I were developing'
xii/ xiii/ Gylan poets Kain of the Original Last waz working there every picked up our option to produce us as a Workshop under Equity's Monday night. We worked with him & any other poets & Showcase Code at Henry Street. With the assistance of the dancers who showed up. Several members of the original New New York Shakespeare Festival & ]oe Papp, we received space & York show came just to us this haphazardly. Aku Kadogo & I both a set, lights & a mailing list, things Paula & I had done without had scholarships at Diane Mclntyre's sounds-in-Motion Dance for two years. We opened at Henry Street with two new actress- Studio. I asked her if she felt like improvising on the Lower dancers, Thea Martinez & ]udy Dearing. Lines of folks & talk East Side, she agreed & has been with the show ever since. all over the Black & Latin community propelled us to the Public Laurie Carlos stopped by one evening. She stayed. Somehow Theater in ]une. Then to the Booth Theater on Broadway in word got out & people started coming to the back room of this September of rgz0. neighborhood bar. we were moved to a new bar down the street, DeMonte's, after eleven weeks of no-pay hard-work three sets Every move we've made since the first showing of for colorcd a night-maybe a shot of cognac on the house. girls . . . in California has demanded changes of text, personnel, & staging. The final production at the Booth is as close to distilled The show at DeMonte's waz prophetic. By this time, December as any of us in all our art forms can make it. With two new of 7975, we had weaned the piece of extraneous theatricality, actresses, ]anet League & Rise Collins, & with the help of Seret enlisted Trazana Beverley, Laurie Carlos, Laurie Hayes, Aku Scott, Michelle Shay, & Roxanne Reese, the rest of the cast is Kadogo, & of paula course, & I were right there. The most prescient enveloping almost 6,000 people a week in the words of a young change in the concept of the work waz that I gave up directoriar black girl's growing up, her triumphs & errors, our struggle to powers to Oz Scott. By doing this, I acknowledged that the become all that is forbidden by our environment, all that is poems & the dance worked on their own to do & be what they forfeited by our gender, all that we have forgotten. were. As opposed to viewing the pieces as poems, I came to understand these twenty-odd poems as a single statement, a I had never imagined not doing for coloted girls. ' ' ' It waz just choreopoem. my poems, any poems I happened to have. Now I have left the show on Broadway, to write poems' stories, plays, my dreams' we finally hit at DeMonte's. Those institutions I had shunned as for colored girls . . . is either too big for my off-off Broadway a poet-producers, theaters, actresses, & sets_now were taste, or too little for my exaggerated sense of freedom, held over essential to us. /or colored girls who hove consid ered suicide/ from seven years of improvised poetry readings. Or, perhaps, when the rainbow is enuf waz a theater piece. Woody King the series has actually finished itself. Poems come on their own
xiv/ xv/ timel i am offering these to you as what i've received from this for colorcd girls who world so far. hove consid ered suicide / the rainbow is enuf i om on the other side of the rainbow/ pickingup the pieces of when doys spent waitin f or the poem to be heard/ while you listen/ i have other work to do / ntozake shange new york, 1926
xvi/ The stoge is in dorkness. Horsh music is heord os ciim blue lights come up. One ofter onother, seven women run onto the stage from each of the exits. TheY all frceze in postures of distress. The follow spot picks uP the IodY in brown' She comes to life ond looks qround ot the other lodies. All of the others are still. She wolks over to the lady in red ond calls to her. The IodY in red makes no response'
Iody in brown dark phrases of womanhood of never havin been a girl half-notes scattered without rhythm/ no tune distraught laughter fallin over a black girl's shoulder it's funny/ it's hYsterical the melody-less-ness of her dance don't tell nobodY don't tell a soul she's dancin on beer cans & shingles
this must be the sPook house another song with no singers Iyrics/ no voices
3l & interrupted solos she's half-notes scattered unseen performances without rhythm/ no tune sing her sighs are we ghouls? sing the song of her possibilities children of horror? sing a righteous gospel the joke? let her be born let her be born don't tell nobody don't tell a soul & handled warmly. are we animals? have we gone crazy? lady in brown i'm outside chicago i can't hear anythin but maddening screams lady in yellow & the soft strains of death i'm outside detroit & you promised me you promised me . . . Iady in purple somebody/ anybody i'm outside houston sing a black girl's song bring her out Iady in red to know herself i'm outside baltimore to know you but sing her rhythms Iady in green carin/ struggle/ hard times i'm outside san francisco sing her song of life she's been dead so long Iody in blue closed in silence so long i'm outside manhattan she doesn't know the sound of her own voice lady in oronge her infinite beauty i'm outside st. louis
4/ s/ Iady inbrcwn of the Iodies start to dance. The & this is for colored girls who have considered suicide lady in green, the lady in blue, ond but moved to the ends of their own rainbows. the lody in yellow do the pony, the big boss line, the swim, and everyone the nose dive. The other lodies mama's little baby likes shor.tnin, shortnin, donce in ploce. mama's little baby likes shortnin bread mama's little baby likes shortnin, shortnin, lady in yellow mama's little baby likes shortnin bread it was graduation nite & i waz the only virgin in the crowd bobby mills martin jerome & sammy yates eddie jones & randi little sally walker, sittin in a saucer all cousins rise, sally, rise, wipe your weepin eyes all the prettiest niggers in this factory town an put your hands on your hips carried me out wit em an let your backbone slip in a deep black buick o, shake it to the east smellin of thunderbird & ladies in heat o, shake it to the west we rambled from camden to mount holly shake it to the one laughin at the afternoon's speeches that you like the best & danglin our tassles from the rear view mirror climbin different sorta project stairs Iady in purple movin toward snappin beer cans & you're it GET IT GET IT THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT MAMA all mercer county graduated the same nite As the lody in brown tags each of cosmetology secretarial pre-college autoshop & business the other lodies they frceze. When all us movin from mama to what ever waz out there eoch one hqs been togged the Iody in brown freezes. Immediotely that nite we raced a big ol truck from the barbeque stand "Doncing in the Streets" by Mortho trying to tell him bout the party at jacqui's ond the Vqndellos is heqrd. All where folks graduated last year waz waitin to hit it wid us
6/ 7/ i got drunk & cdnt figure out The Dells singing "Stay" is heord whose hand waz on my thigh/ but it didn't matter cuz these cousins martin eddie sammy jerome & bobby we danced doin nasty ol tricks waz my sweethearts alternately since the seventh grade & everybody knew i always started cryin if somebody actually The lady in yellow sings olong tried to take advantage of me with the Dells for o moment. The at jacqui's lady in orange ond the lody in blue ulinda mason was stickin her mouth all out jump up and parody the lody in while we tumbled out the buick yellow ond the Deils. The lady in eddie jones waz her lickin stick yellow stores ot them. They sit down. but i knew how to dance it got soo hot doin nasty ol tricks i'd been thinkin since may vincent ramos puked all in the punch cuz graduation nite had to be hot & harly jumped all in tico's face & i waz the only virgin cuz he was leavin for the navy in the mornin so i hadda make like my hips waz inta some business hadda kick ass so we'd all remember how bad he waz that way everybody thot whoever was gettin it seems like sheila & marguerite waz fraid was a older man cdnt run the streets wit youngsters to get their hair turnin back martin slipped his leg round my thigh so they laid up against the wall the dells bumped "stay" lookin almost sexy up & down-up & down the new carver homes didnt wanna sweat WE WAZ GROWN WE WAZ FINALLY GROWN but me & my fellas we waz dancin ulinda alla sudden went crazy since 1963 i'd won all kinda contests went over to eddie cursin & carryin on wid the cousins at the POLICE ATHLETIC LEAGUE DANCES tearin his skin wid her nails all mercer county knew the cousins tried to talk sense to her any kin to martin yates cd turn somersaults tried to hold her arms fore smokey robinson cd get a woman excited lissin bitch sammy went on
8/ s/ bobby whispered i shd go wit him lody in blue fore they go ta cuttin some niggah sweating all over you. fore the police arrived we teetered silently thru the parkin lot Iady in red no un uhuh it was good! we didn't know nothin bout no party bobby started lookin at me lady in blue yeah i never did like to grind. he started looking at me real strange like i waz a woman or somethin/ Iady in yellow started talkin real soft what other kind of dances are there? in the backseat of that ol buick wow Iady in blue by daybreak mambo, bomba, merengue i just cdnt stop grinnin. when i waz sixteen i ran off io the south bronx The Dells singing "Stay" comes in cuziwaz gonna meet up wit willie colon ond all of the lodies except the lody & dance all the time in blue join in ond sing olong. mamba bomba merengue lady in yellow lody in blue do you speak spanish? you gave it up in a buick? iody in blue Iady in yellow old yeh, and honey, it was wonderful. my papa thot he was puerto rican & we wda been cept we waz just reglar niggahs wit hints of spanish lady in green so off i made it to this 36 hour marathon dance we used to do it all up in the dark con salsa con ricardo 'suggggggggggar' in the corners . . . ray on southern blvd
70/ 77/ oooooooooooooh the sounds next door to this fotografi Place jammed wit burial weddin & communion relics sneakin in under age to slug's 'artiste' next door to la real ideal genuine spanish barber to stare ata real up up up up up stairs & stairs & Iotsa hallway & every word outta imamu's mouth waz gospel jesus wit my colored new jersey self & if cdnt play a horn like shepp didn't know what anybody waz saying waznt no need for colored folks to bear no cross at all cept if dancin waz proof of origin i was jibarita herself that nite & poem is my thank-you for music you poem & the next day & i love more than i kept smilin & right on stePPin more than aureliano buendia loved macondo more than hector lavoe loved himself if he cd lead i waz readY to dance if he cdnt lead more than the lady loved gardenias graciela i caught this attitude more than celia loves cuba or loves el son i'd seen rosa do more than the flamingoes shoo-do-n-doo-wah love bein pretty & wd not be bothered i waz twirlin hippin givin much quik feet oyd n6gro que que & bein a mute cute colored puerto rican te amo mas te amo mas til saturday afternoon when the disc-jockey say when you play .SORRY FOLKS WILLIE COLON AINT GONNA MAKE IT TODAY' yr flute & alla my niggah temper came outta control & i wdnt dance wit nobodY everyone [very softly) & i talked english loud te amo mas que te amo mas que & i love you more than i waz mad uh huh uh huh Iody in red guidance more than more than without any assistance or from you when i discovered archie shepp & subtle blues i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day doncha know i wore out the magic of juju i have been stood up four times heroically resistin being possessed i've left 7 packages on yr doorstep
72/ 73/ forty poems 2 plants & 3 handmade notecards i left twitch hips wit me cuz town so i cd send to you have been no help to me i done forgot all abt words on my job aint got no definitions you call at 3:00 in the mornin on weekdays i wanna whirl so i cd drive 271/z miles cross the bay before i go to work with you charmin charmin but you are of no assistance Music storts, "Che Che CoIe" by i want you to know WiIIie Colon. this waz an experiment Everyone storts to dance. to see how selfish i cd be if i wd really carry on to snare a possible lover our whole body if i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of another wrapped like a ripe mango if i cd stand not being wanted ramblin whippin thru space when i wanted to be wanted on the corner in the park & i cannot where the rug useta be so let willie colon take you out with no further assistance & no guidance from you swing your head i am endin this affair push your leg to the moon with me this note is attached to a Plant i'm on the lower east side i've been waterin since the day i met you in new york city you may water it andican't ican't yr damn self talk witchu no more
Iady in oronge lady in yellow i dont wanna write we gotta dance to keep from cryin in english or spanish i wanna sing make you dance Iody in brown Iike the bata dance scream we gotta dance to keep from dyin
741 15/ lady in red Iody in blue so come on a friend is hard to press charges against
Iady inbrown Iody in red come on if you know him you must have wanted it lady in purple come on lady in purple a misunderstanding lady in oronge hold yr head like it was ruby sapphire lady in red i'm a poet you know who writes in english these things happen come to share the worlds witchu Iady in blue evetyone are you sure come to share our worlds witchu you didnt suggest we come here to be dancin to be dancin Iady in purple to be dancin had you been drinkin baya lody in red There is o sudden Iight chonge, oll a rapist is always to be a stranger of the lodies reoct os if they hod to be legitimate been struck in the foce. The lody in someone you never saw green ond the iody in yellow run a man wit obvious problems out up left, the lody in oronge runs out the left volm, the lody in lady in purple brown runs out up right. pin-ups attached to the insides of his lapels
16/ 77/ iody in blue stay employed ticket stubs from porno flicks in his pocket and take us out to dinner
lady in purple lady in purple a lil dick lock the door behind you
lody in red lody in blue or a strong mother wit fist in face to fuck Iody in blue or just a brutal virgin lady in red who make elaborate mediterranean dinners lady in red & let the art ensemble carry all ethical burdens but if you've been seen in public wit him while they invite a coupla friends over to have you danced one dance are sufferin from latent rapist bravado kissed him good-bye lightly & we are left wit the scars
lady in purple Iody in blue wit closed mouth bein betrayed by men who know us
lody in blue pressin charges will be as hard lady in purple as keepin yr legs closed & expect while five fools try to run a train on you like the stranger we always thot waz comin lady in rcd these men friends of ours lady in blue who smile nice that we will submit
18/ 7s/ lady in purple lody in purple we must have known we see them at the coffeehouse
Iody in red Iody in blue women relinquish all personal rights wit someone else we know in the presence of a man who apparently cd be considered a rapist Iady in red we cd even have em over for dinner Iady in purple & get raped in our own houses especially if he has been considered a friend by invitation a friend Iody in blue The Iights chonge, ond the lodies & is no less worthy of bein beat witin an inch of his life are aII hit by on imoginory slop, the bein publicly ridiculed lady in red runs off up left. havin two fists shoved up his ass lody in blue lody in red eyes than the stranger we always thot it wd be Iady in purple mice lady in blue who never showed up Iody in blue womb lady in red cuz it turns out the nature of rape has changed lody in blue & Iody in purple nobody Iady in blue we can now meet them in circles we frequent for companionship The lody in purple exits up right.
20/ 2u Iody in blue & nobody came tubes tables white washed windows cuz nobody knew grime from age wiped over once once i waz pregnant & shamed of myself legs spread anxious The lady in blue exits stage left eyes crawling up on me volm. eyes rollin in my thighs metal horses gnawin my womb Soft deep music is heord, voices dead mice fall from my mouth calling " Sechita" come from the i really didnt mean to wings ond volms. The lady in i really didnt think i cd purple enters from up right. just one day off . . . get offa me alia this blood Iady in purple bones shattered like soft ice-cream cones once there were quadroon balls/ elegance in st. louis/ laced mulattoes/ gamblin down the mississippi/ to memphis/ new i cdnt have people orleans n okra crepes near the bayou/ where the poor white trash Iookin at me wd sing/ moanin/ strange/ liquid tones/ thru the swamps/ pregnant i cdnt have my friends see this The lody in green enters from the dyin danglin tween my legs right voim; she is Sechito ond for & i didnt say a thing the rest of the poem donces out not a sigh Sechito's iife. or a fast scream to get sechita had heard these things/ she moved those eyes off a me as if she'd known them/ the silver n high-toned laughin/ get them steel rods outta me the violins n marble floors/ sechita pushed the clingin this hurts dust wit painted toes/ the patch-work tent waz this hurts me stale lights snatched at the shadows/ creole
221 23/ carnival waz playin natchez in ten minutes/ her splendid immobile/ she made her face like nefertiti/ approachin her red garters/ gin-stained n itchy on her thigh/ blk-diamond own tomb/ she suddenly threw/ her leg full-force/ thru the stockings darned wit yellow threads/ an ol starched taffeta canvas curtain/ a deceptive glass stone/ sparkled/ malignant can-can fell abundantly orange/ from her waist round the on her ankle/ her calf waz tauntin in the brazen carnie splinterin chair/ sechita/ egyptian/ goddess of creativity/ lights/ the full moon/ sechita/ goddess/ of love/ egypt/ 2nd millennium/ threw her heavy hair in a coil over her neck/ 2nd millennium/ performin the rites/ the conjurin of men/ sechita/ goddess/ the recordin of history/ spread crimson oil conjurin the spirit/ in natchez/ the mississippi spewed on her cheeks/ waxed her eyebrows/ n unconsciously slugged a heavy fume of barely movin waters/ sechita's legs slashed the last hard whiskey in the glass/ the broken mirror she furiously thru the cracker nite/ & gold pieces hittin the used to decorate her face/ made her forehead tilt backwards/ makeshift stage/ her thighs/ they were aimin coins tween her her cheeks appear sunkenT' her sassy chin only large enuf/ thighs/ sechita/ egypt/ goddess/ harmony/ kicked viciously to keep her full lower lip/ from growin into her neck/ sechita/ thru the nite/ catchin stars tween her toes. had learned to make allowances for the distortions/ but the heavy dust of the delta/ left a tinge of grit n The lady in green exits into the darkness/ on every one of her dresses/ on her arms & her stage left volm, the lady in purple shoulders/ sechita/ waz anxious to get back to st. louis/ exits into up stage left. the dirt there didnt crawl from the earth into yr soul/ at least/ in st.louis/ the grime waz store bought The lady in brown enters from up second-hand/ here in natchez/ god seemed to be wipin his stage fight. feet in her face/ lady in brown one of the wrestlers had finally won de library waz right down from de trolly tracks tonite/ the mulatto / raul/ was sposed to hold the boomin cross from de laundry-mat half-caste/ searin eagle/ in a bear hug/ 8 counts/ get thru de big shinin floors & granite pillars thrown unawares/ fall out the ring/ n then do searin eagle ol st. louis is famous for in for good/ sechita/ cd hear redneck whoops n slappin on i found toussaint the back/ she gathered her sparsely sequined skirts/ tugged but not til after months uv the waist cincher from under her greyin slips/ n made her f ace cajun katie/ pippi longstockin
24/ christopher robin/ eddie heyward & a pooh bear waz disqualified in the children's room cuz Toussaint only pioneer girls & magic rabbits belonged in the ADULT READING ROOM & big city white boys & i cried i knew i waznt sposedta & carried dead Toussaint home in the book but i ran inta the ADULT READING ROOM he waz dead & livin to me & came across cuz TOUSSAINT & them they held the citadel gainst the french TOUSSAINT wid the spirits of ol dead africans from outta the ground TOUSSAINT led they army of zombies my first blk man walkin cannon ball shootin spirits to free Haiti [i never counted george washington carver & they waznt slaves no more cuz i didnt like peanuts) still TOUSSAINT L'OUVERTURE TOUSSAINT waz a blk man a negro like my mama say became my secret lover at the age of 8 who refused to be a slave i entertained him in my bedroom & he spoke french witida flashlight under my covers & didnt low no white man to tell him nothin way inta the night/ we discussed strategies not napolean how to remove white girls frorn my hopscotch games not maximillien & etc. not robespierre TOUSSAINT waz layin in bed wit me next to raggedy ann TOUSSAINT L'OUVERTURE the rright i decided to run away from my waz the beginnin uv reality for me integrated home in the summer contest for integrated street who colored child can read integrated school 15 books in three weeks 1955 waz not a good year for lil blk girls i WON & rAVCd Abt TOUSSAINT L'OUVERTURE at the afternoon ceremony Toussaint said 'lets go to haiti'
26/ 27/ i said 'awright' or TOUSSAINT'S gonna get yr ass' & packed some very important things in a brown paper bag de silly ol boy came round de corner laughin all in my face so i wdnt haveta come back 'yellah gal then Toussaint & i took the hodiamont streetcar ya sure must be somebody to know my name so quick' to the river i waz disgusted last stop & wanted to get on to haiti only 150 widout some tacky ol boy botherin me cuz there waznt nobody cd see Toussaint cept me still he kept standin there & we walked all down thru north st. louis kickin milk cartons & bits of brick where the french settlers usedta live tryin to get all in my business in tiny brick houses all huddled together i mumbled to L'OUVERTURE'what shd I do' wit barely missin windows & shingles uneven finally wit colored kids playin & women on low porches sippin beer i asked this silly oI boy .WELL WHO ARE YOU?' i cd talk to Toussaint down by the river he say like this waz where we waz gonna stow away 'MY NAME IS TOUSSAINT JONES' on a boat for new orleans well & catch a creole fishin-rig for port-au-prince i looked right at him then we waz just gonna read & talk all the time those skidded out cordoroy pants & eat fried bananas a striped teashirt wid holes in both elbows we waz just walkin & skippin past ol drunk men a new scab over his left eye when dis ol young boy jumped out at me sayin & i said .HEY GIRL YA BETTAH COME OVAH HEAH N TALK TO ME' 'what's yr name again' well he say i turned to TOUSSAINT (who waz furiousJ 'i'm toussaint jones' & i shouted 'wow 'ya silly ol boy i am on my way to see ya bettah leave me alone TOUSSAINT L'OUVERTURE in HAITI
28/ 2s/ are ya any kin to him The lady in brown exits into the he dont take no stuff from no white folks stage right volm. & they gotta country all they own & there aint no slaves' The lady in red enters from the that silly ol boy squinted his face all up stage left volm. 'looka heah girl i am TOUSSAINT JONES & i'm right heah lookin at ya Iady in red & i dont take no stuff from no white folks orange butterflies & aqua sequins ya dont see none round heah do -rra?' ensconsed tween slight bosoms & he sorta pushed out his chest silk roses dartin from behind her ears then he say the passion flower of southwest los angeles 'come on lets go on down to the docks meandered down hoover street & look at the boats' past dark shuttered houses where i waz real puzzled goin down to the docks women from louisiana shelled peas wit my paper bag & my books round 3:00 & sent their sons i felt TOUSSAINT L'OUVERTURE sorta leave me whistlin to the store for fatback & black-eyed peas & i waz sad she glittered in heat til i realized & seemed to be lookin for rides TOUSSAINT }ONES waznt too different when she waznt & absolutely from TOUSSAINT L'OUVERTURE eyed every man who waznt lame white or noddin out cept the ol one waz in haiti she let her thigh slip from her skirt & this one wid me speakin english & eatin apples crossin the street yeah. she slowed to be examined toussaint jones waz awright wit me & she never looked back to smile no tellin what all spirits we cd move or acknowledge a sincere 'hey mama' down by the river or to meet the eyes of someone st.louis 1955 hey wait. purposely findin sometin to do in
30/ 37/ her direction delighted she waz desired she waz sullen & allowed those especially & the rhinestones etchin the corners of her mouth schemin/ tactful suitors suggested tears to experience her body & spirit fresh kisses that had done no good tearin/ so easily blendin with theirs/ she always wore her stomach out & they were so happy lined with small iridescent feathers & lay on her lime sheets full & wet the hairs round her navel seemed to dance from her tongue she kissed & she didnt let on them reverently even ankles she knew edges of beards . . . from behind her waist waz aching to be held the pastel ivy drawn on her shoulders The stoge goes to dorkness except to be brushed with lips & fingers for o speciol on the lady in rcd, smellin of honey & jack daniels who lies motionless on the floor; as she waz hot the lights slowly fade up the lady a deliberate coquette in red sits up. who never did without what she wanted at 4:30 AM & she wanted to be unforgettable she rose she wanted to be a memory movin the arms & legs that trapped her a wound to every man she sighed affirmin the sculptured man arragant enough to want her & made herself a bath she waz the wrath of dark musk oil egyptian crystals of women in windows & florida water to remove his smell fingerin shades/ ol lace curtains to wash away the glitter camoflagin despair & to watch the butterflies melt into stretch marks suds & the rhinestones fall beneath so she glittered honestly her buttocks like smooth pebbles
s2l 33/ --
in a missouri creek dazzle of hips painted with layin in water orange blossoms & magnolia scented wrists she became herself had wanted no more ordinary than to lay between her sparklin thighs brown braided woman & had planned on leavin before dawn with big legs & full lips & she had been so divine reglar devastatingly bizarre the way seriously intendin to finish her her mouth fit round night's work & now she stood a she quickly walked to her guest reglar colored girl straddled on her pillows & began fulla the same malice 'you'll have to go now/ i've livid indifference as a sistah a lot of work to do/ & i cant worn from supportin a wd be hornplayer with a man around/ here are yr pants/ or waitin by the window there's coffee on the stove/ its been & they knew very nice/ but i cant see you again/ a left in a hurry you got what you came for/ didnt You' she wd gather her tinsel & & she smiled jewels from the tub he wd either mumble curses bout crazy bitches & laugh gayly or vengeful or sit dumbfounded she stored her silk roses by her bed while she repeated & when she finished writin 'i cdnt possibly wake up/ with the account of her exploit in a diary a strange man in my bed/ whY embroidered with lilies & moonstones dont you go home' she placed the rose behind her ear she cda been slapped upside the head & cried herself to sleep. or verbaily challenged but she never waz & the ones who fell prey to the
34/ 85/ All the lights fade except for a NO MAN YA CANT GO WIT ME/ I DONT EVEN speciol on the lody in red; the lady KNOW YOU/ NO/ r DONT WANNA KISS YOU/ in red exits into the stage left volm. YOU ArNT BUT 72 YRS OLD/ NO MAN/ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE/ TOMORROW/ YEAH/ The lady in blue enters from up NO/ PLEASE/ I CANT USE IT fight. i cd stay alone a woman in the world lody in blue then i moved to i usedta live in the world HARLEM then i moved to HARLEM i come in at dusk & my universe is now six blocks stay close to the curb when i walked in the pacific The lady in yellow enters, she's i imagined waters ancient from accra/ tunis waiting for o bus. cleansin me/ feedin me now my ankles are coated in grey filth round midnite from the puddle neath the hydrant praying wont no young man think i'm pretty in a dark mornin my oceans were life what waters i have here sit stagnant The lady in purple enters, she's circlin ol men's bodies waiting for o bus. shit A broken lil whiskey bottles left to make me bleed wdnt be good not good at all i usedta live in the world to meet a tall short black brown young man fulla his power now i live in harlem & my universe is six blocks in the dark a tunnel with a train in my universe of six blocks i can ride anywhere straight up brick walls remaining a stranger women hangin outta windows
s6/ 37/ like ol silk stockings nice is such a rip-off cats cryin/ children gigglin/ a tavern wit red curtains reglar beauty & a smile in the street bad smells/ kissin ladies smilin & dirt is just a set-up sidewalks spittin/ men cursing/ playin i usedta be in the world The lody in oronge enters, she is a woman in the world beingfollowed by a mon, the i hadda right to the world Iody in blue becomes thot mon. then i moved to harlem for the set-up .I SPENT MORE MONEY YESTERDAY a universe THAN THE DAY BEFORE & ALL THAT'S MORE N YOU six blocks of cruelty NIGGAH EVER GOTTA HOLD TO piled up on itself COME OVER HERE BITCH a tunnel CANT YA SEE THIS IS $5' closin
never mind sister The four lodies on stage freeze, dont pay him no mind count 4, then the lodies in go go go go go go sister blue, purple, yellow ond oronge do yr thing move to their ploces for the next never mind poem. i usedta live in the world Iody in purple really be in the world three of us like a pyramid free & sweet talkin three friends good mornin & thank-you & nice day one laugh uh huh one music i cant now one flowered shawl i cant be nice to nobody knotted on each neck
38/ 3s/ we all saw him at the same time one day after another & he saw us cept for the one who loved him i felt a quick thump in each one of us he appeared irregularly didnt know what to do expectin graciousness no matter what we all wanted what waz comin our way she cut fresh strawberries so we split her friends callt less frequently but he found one went on hunts for passin fancies & she loved him she cdnt figure out what waz happenin then the rose the other two were tickled she left by his pillow & spurned his advances she found on her friends desk when the one who loved him waz somewhere else & there waz nothing to say he wd come to her saying she said yr friends love you very much i wanna tell you 'i have tried he's been after me & they keep askin where are you all the time she smiled says he's free & can explain wonderin how long her friends what's happenin wit you wd hold out is nothin to me he waz what they were lookin for & i dont wanna hurt you he bided his time but you know i need someone now he waited til romance waned & you know the three of us made uP stories how wonderful he is bout usedta & cda been nice the season waz dry her friend cdnt speak or cry no men they hugged & went to where he waz no quickies wit another woman not one dance or eyes unrelentin he said good-bye to one
40/ 47/ tol the other he wd call the music loud enuf/ so there is no rne but dance/ & when he smiled a lot i can dance like that/ there's nothin cd hurt me/ but i get tired & i haveta come offa the floor & then there's she held her head on her lap that woman who hurt you/ who you left/ three or four times/ the lap of her sisters soakin up tears & just went back/ after you put my heart in the bottom of each understandin how much love stood between them yr shoe/ you just walked back to where you hurt/ & i didnt how much love between them have nothin/ so i went to where somebody had somethin for me/ love between them but he waznt you/ & i waz on the way back from her house love like sisters in the bottom of yr shoe/ so this is not a love poem/ cuz there are only memorial albums available/ & even charlie mingus Shorp music is heord, eoch lody wanted desperately to be a pimp/ & i wont be able to see eddie donces os if catching o disecse from palmieri for months/ so this is a requium for myself/ cuz i the lady next to her, suddenlY have died in a real way/ not wid aqua coffins & du-wop cadillacs/ they oll frceze. i used to joke abt when i waz messin round/ but a real dead lovin is here for you now/ cuz i dont know anymore/ how lady in orange to avoid my own face wet wit my tears/ cuz i had convinced ever since i realized there waz someone callt myself colored girls had no right to sorrow/ & i lived a colored girl an evil woman a bitch or a nag & loved that way & kept sorrow on the curb/ allegedly i been tryin not to be that & leave bitterness for you/ but i know i did it for myself/ in somebody else's cup/ come to somebody to love me i cdnt stand it without deep & nasty smeliin scald from lye or bein i cdnt stand bein sorry & colored at the same time left screamin in a street fulla lunatics/ whisperin it's so redundant in the modern world slut bitch bitch niggah/ get outta here wit alla that/ i didnt have any of that f or you/ i brought you what joy Iody in purple i f ound & i f ound joy/ honest fingers round my f ace/ with i lived wit myths & music waz my ol man & i cd dance dead musicians on 78's from cuba/ or live musicians on five a dance outta time/ a dance wit no partners/ take my dollar lp's from chicago/ where i have never been/ & i love pills & keep fight on steppin/ linger in non-english willie colon & arsenio rodriquez/ especially cuz i can make arms so therc waz no possibility of understandin
42/ v-
& you YOU & be white/ we're right in the middle of it/ no use came sayin i am the niggah/ i am the baddest muthafuckah holdin out/ holdin onto ourselves/ lets think our out there/ way outta feelin/ lets abstract ourselves some families i said yes/ this is who i am waitin for & maybe maybe tonite/ i'll find a way to make myself & to come wit you/ i hadta bring everythin come witout you/ no fingers or other objects just thot the dance & the terror which isnt spiritual evolution cuz its empty & godliness the dead musicians & the hope is plenty is ripe & fertile/ thinkin wont do me a bit of & those scars i had hidden wit smiles & good fuckin good tonite/ i need to be loved/ & havent the audacity lay open to say & i dont know i dont know any more tricks where are you/ & dont know who to say it to i am really colored & really sad sometimes & you hurt me more than i ever danced outta/ into oblivion isnt far enuf lody in yellow to get outta this/ i am ready to die like a lily in the i've lost it desert/ & i cdnt let you in on it cuz i didnt know/ here touch wit reality/ i dont know who's doin it is what i have/ poems/ big thighs/ lil tits/ & i thot i waz but i waz so stupid i waz able to be hurt so much love/ will you take it from me this one time/ & that's not real/ not anymore/ i shd be immune/ if i'm please this is for you/ arsenio's tres cleared the way still alive & that's what i waz discussin/ how i am still & makes me pure again/ please please/ this is for you alive & my dependency on other livin beins for love i want you to love me/ let me love you/ i dont wanna i survive on intimacy & tomorrow/ that's all i've got goin dance wit ghosts/ snuggle lovers i made up in my drunkenness/ & the music waz like smack & you knew abt that lemme love you just like i am/ a colored girl/ i'm finally bein & still refused my dance waz not enuf/ a itwaz all i had real/ no longer symmetrical & impervious to pain but bein alive & bein a woman & bein colored is a metaphysical dilemma/ i havent conquered yet/ d.o you see the point Iody in blue my spirit is too ancient to understand the separation of we deal wit emotion too much soul & gender/ my love is too delicate to have thrown so why dont we go on ahead & be white then/ back on my face & make everythin dry & abstract wit no rhythm & no reelin for sheer sensual pleasure/ yes let's go on
441 45/ The Iodies in red, green, ond brown lady in red enter quietly; in the bockground my love is too complicated to have thrown back on my face aII of the lodies except the lody in yellow ore frozen; the lody in lady in green yellow looks at them, walks by my love is too music to have thrown back on my face them, touches them; they do not move. everyone music Iady in yellow music my love is too delicate to have thrown back on my face The lady in green then breaks into a dance, the other ladies follow her leod ond soon they The lady in yellow storts to exit are all danc- ing and chonting together. into the stoge right volm. /ust os she gets to the volm, the lady in brown lady in green comes to lif e. yank dankka dank dank
Iody in brown everyone my love is too beautiful to have thrown back on my face music
purple Iady in lady in green my love is too sanctified to have thrown back on my face yank dankka dank dank
lody in blue everyone my love is too magic to have thrown back on my face music
lody in orange Iody in green my love is too saturday nite to have thrown back on my face yank dankka dank dank
46/ 47/ everyone [but storted by the lady in yellow) and complicated delicate and complicated delicate and complicated delicate and complicated and complicated everyone fbut storted by the lady in brown] and complicated and beautiful and beautiful The donce reoches o climox ond oll and beautiful ol the Iodies faII out lired, but full of life and togetherness. evetyone [but storted by the lady in purpleJ oh sanctified lady in green oh sanctified somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff oh sanctified not my poems or a dance i gave up in the street but somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff everyone fbut storted by the lady in blue) like a kleptomaniac workin hard A forgettin while stealin magic this is mine/ this aint yr stuff/ magic now why dont you put me back A let me hang out in my own self magic somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff & didnt care enuf to send a note home sayin everyone fbut storted by the lody in oronge.] i waz late for my solo conversation and saturday nite or two sizes too small for my own tacky skirts and saturday nite what can anybody do wit somethin of no value on and saturday nite a open market/ did you getta dime for my things/ hey man/ where are you goin wid alla my stuff/ everyone fbut started by the lady in red) this is a woman's trip & i need my stuff/ and complicated to ohh & ahh abt/ daddy / i gotta mainline number and complicated from my own shit/ now wontchu put me back/ & Iet
48/ 4s/ me play this duet/ wit this silver ring in my nose/ ego walked round like Rodan's shadow/ waz a man faster honest to god/ somebody almost run off wit alla my stuff/ n my innocencef waz a lover/ i made too much & i didnt bring anythin but the kick & sway of it room for/ almost run off wit alla my stuff/ the perfect ass for my man & none of it is theirs & i didnt know i'd give it up so quik/ & the one running wit it/ this is mine/ ntozake 'her own things'/ that's my name/ dont know he got it/ & i'm shoutin this is mine/ & he dont now give me my stuff/ i see ya hidin my laugh/ & how i know he golit/ my stuff is the anonymous ripped off treasure sit wif my legs open sometimes/ to give my crotch of the year/ did you know somebody almost got away with me/ some sunlight/ a there goes my love my toes my chewed me in a plastic bag under their arm/ me up finger nails/ niggah/ wif the curls in yr hair/ danglin on a string of personal carelessness/ i'm spattered wit mr. louisiana hot link/ i want my stuff back/ mud & city rain/ & no i didnt get a chance to take a douche/ my rhythms & my voice/ open my mouth/ & let me talk ya hey man/ this is not your perogative/ i gotta have me in my outta/ throwin my shit in the sewar/ this is some delicate pocket/ to get round like a good woman shd/ a make the poem leg & whimsical kiss/ i gotta have to give to my choice/ in the pot or the chicken in the dance/ what i got to do/ without you runnin off wit alla my shit/ i gotta have my stuff to do it to/ now you cant have me less i give me away / & i waz why dont ya find yr own things/ & leave this package doin all that/ til ya run off on a good thing/ of me for my destiny/ what ya got to get from me/ who is this you left me wit/ some simple bitch i'll give it to yal yeh/ i'll give it Io ya/ widda bad attitude/ i wants my things/ round 5:00 in the winter/ when the sky is blue-red/ i want my arm wit the hot iron scar/ & my leg wit the & Dew City is gettin pressed/ if it's really my stuff/ flea bite/ i want my calloused feet & quik language back ya gotta give it to me/ if ya really want it/ i'm in my mouth/ fried plantains/ pineapple pear juice/ the only one/ can handle it sun-ra & joseph & jules/ i want my own things/ how i lived them/ & give me my memories/ how i waz when i waz lheref Iody in blue you cant have them or do nothin wit them/ that niggah will be back tomorrow, sayin 'i'm sorry' stealin my shit from me/ dont make it yrs/ makes it stolen/ somebody almost run off wit alla my stuff/ & i waz standin Iody in yellow there/ lookin at myself/ the whole time get this, last week my ol man came in sayin, 'i don't know & it waznt a spirit took my stuff/ waz a man whose how she got yr number baby, i'm sorry'
50/ 57/
I lady in brown or get a mornin paper no this one is it, 'o baby, ya know i waz high, i'm sorry' didnt nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars cuz a sorry lady inpurple 'i'm only human, and inadequacy is what makes us human, & i am simply tired if we was perfect we wdnt have nothin to strive for, so you of collectin might as well go on and forgive me pretty baby, cause i'm sorry' i didnt know i was so important toyou' Iody in green i'm gonna haveta throw some away 'shut up bitch, i told you i waz sorry' i cant get to the clothes in my closet for alla the sorries lady in oronge i'm gonna tack a sign to my door no this one is it, 'i do ya like i do ya cause i thot leave a message by the phone ya could take it, now i'm sorry' 'if you called to say yr sorry lady in red call somebody 'now i know that ya know i love ya, but i aint ever gonna else love ya like ya want me to love ya, i'm sorry' i dont use em anymore' i let sorry/ didnt meanta/ & how cd i know abt that Iody in blue take a walk down a dark & musty street in brooklyn one thing i dont need i'm gonna do exactly what i want to is any more apologies & i wont be sorry for none of it i got sorry greetin me at my front door letta sorry soothe yr soul/ i'm gonna soothe mine you can keep yrs i dont know what to do wit em you were always inconsistent they dont open doors doin somethin & then bein sorry or bring the sun back beatin my heart to death they dont make me happy talkin bout you sorry
52/ 53/ well lady in red i wiil not call there waz no air/ the sheets made ripples under his i'm not goin to be nice body like crumpled paper napkins in a summer park/ & lil i will raise my voice specks of somethin from tween his toes or the biscuits & scream & holler from the day before ran in the sweat that tucked the sheet & break things & race the engine into his limbs like he waz an ol frozen bundle of chicken/ & tell all yr secrets bout yrself to yr face & he'd get up to make coffee, drink wine, drink water/ he & i will list in detail everyone of rny wonderful lovers wished one of his friends who knew where he waz wd come by & their ways with some blow or some shit/ anythin/ there waz no air/ i will play oliver lake he'd see the spotlights in the alleyways downstairs movin loud in the air/ cross his wall over his face/ & get under the & i wont be sorry for none of it covers & wait for an all clear or til he cd hear traffic again/ iloved you on purpose i was open on purpose there waznt nothin wrong with him/ there waznt nothin wrong i still crave vulnerability & close talk with him/ he kept tellin crystal/ & i'm not even sorry bout you bein sorry any niggah wanna kill vietnamese children more n stay home you can carry all the guilt & grime ya wanna & raise his own is sicker than a rabid dog/ just dont give it to me that's how their thing had been goin since he got back/ i cant use another sorry crystal just got inta sayin whatta fool niggah beau waz next time & always had been/ didnt he go all over uptown sayin the you should admit child waznt hisf waz some no counts bastard/ & any oI city you're mean/ low-down/ triflin/ & no count straight out police cd come & get him if they wanted/ cuz as soon as steada bein sorry alla the time the blood type & shit waz together/ everybody wd know that enjoy bein yrself crystal waz a no good lyin whore/ and this after she'd been his girl since she waz thirteen/ when he caught her on the stairway/
he came home crazy as hell/ he tried to get veterans benefits
54/ 55/ to go to school & they kept right on puttin him in ass/ or come sit wit ya when they lock yr behind remedial classes/ he cdnt read wortha damn/ so beau up/ cause they gonna come for ya/ yagoddarnn lunatic/ cused the teachers of holdin him back & got himself they gonna comef & i'm not gonna have a thing to do a gypsy cab to drive/ but his cab kept breakin wit it/ o no i wdnt marry yr pitiful black ass for down/ & the cops was always messin wit him/ plus not nothin & she went on to bed/ gettin much bread/ the next day beau willie came in blasted & got ta swingin & crystal went & got pregnant again/ beau most beat chairs at crystal/ who cdnt figure out what the hell her to death when she tol him/ she still gotta scar he waz doin/ til he got ta shoutin bout how she waz gonna under her right tit where he cut her up/ still crystal marry him/ a get some more veterans benefits/ & he cd went right on & had the baby/ so now beau willie had stop drivin them crazy spics round/ while they tryin two children/ a little girl/ naomi kenya & a boy/ kwame beau to kill him for $f S/ beau waz sweatin terrible/ beatin willie brown/ & there waz no air/ on crystal/ & he cdnt do no more with the table n chairs/ so he went to get the high chair/ & lil kwame waz in itf how in the hell did he get in this mess anyway/ somebody & beau waz beatin crystal with the high chair & her son/ went & tol crystal that beau waz spendin alla his money & some notion got inta him to stop/ and he run out/ on the bartendin bitch down at the merry-go-round cafe/ beau sat straight up in the bed/ wrapped up in the sheets crystal most died/ that's why the police wdnt low lookin like john the baptist or a huge baby wit stubble beau near where she lived/ & she'd been tellin the kids & nuts/ now he hadta get alla that shit outta crystal's their daddy tried to kill her & kwame/ & he just wanted mind/ so she wd let him come home/ crystal had gone & to marry her/ that's what/ he wanted to marry her/ & got a court order saying beau willie brown had no access have a family/ but the bitch waz crazy f beau willie to his children/ if he showed his face he waz subject waz sittin in this hotel in his drawers drinkin to arrest/ shit/ she'd been in his ass to marry her coffee & wine in the heat of the day spillin shit all since she waz'1.4 years old & here when she 22/ she wanna over hisself / laughin/ bout how he waz gonna get crystal throw him out cuz he say he'll marry her/ she burst to take him back/ & let him be a man in the house/ & she out laughin/ hollerin whatchu wanna marry me for now/ wdnt even have to go to work no more/ he got dressed up so i can support yr all in his ivory shirt & checkeredpants to go see
56/ s7/ crystal & get this mess all cleared up/ crystal felt naomi givin in & held her tighter/ he knocked on the door to crystal's rooms/ & she naomi/ pushed away & ran to her daddy/ cryin/ daddy, daddy didnt answer/ he beat on the door & crystal & naomi come back daddy/ come back/ but be nice to mommy/ started cryin/ beau gotta shoutin again how he wanted cause mommy loves you/ and ya gotta be nice/ to marry her/ & waz she always gonna be a whore/ or he sat her on his knee/ & played with her ribbons & did she wanna husband/ & crystal just kept on they counted fingers & toes/ every so often he screamin for him to leave us alone/ just leave us looked over to crystal holdin kwame/ like a statue/ alone/ so beau broke the door down/ crystal held & he'd say/ see crystal/ i can be a good father/ the children in fronta her/ she picked kwame off the now let me see my son/ & she didnt move/ & floor/ in her arms/ & she held naomi by her shoulders/ he coaxed her & he coaxed her/ tol her she waz & kept on sayin/ beau willie brown/ get outta here/ still a hot lil ol thing & pretty & strong/ didnt the police is gonna come for ya/ ya fool/ get outta here/ she get right up after that lil ol fight they had do you want the children to see you act the fool again/ & go back to work/ beau willie oozed kindness & you want kwame to brain damage from you throwin him crystal who had known so lil/ let beau hold kwame/ round/ niggah/ get outtahere/ get out & dont show yr ass again or i'll kill ya/ i swear i'll kill ya/ as soon as crystal let the baby outta her arms/ beau he reached for naomi/ crystal grabbed the lil girl & jumped up a laughin & a gigglin/ a hootin & a hollerin/ stared at beau willie like he waz a leper or somethin/ awright bitch/ awright bitch/ you gonna marry me/ dont you touch my children/ muthafucker/ or i'll kill you gonna marry me . . . you/ i aint gonna marry ya/ i aint ever gonna many ya/ for nothin/ you gonna be in the jail/ you gonna be beau willie jumped back all humble & apologeticf i'm under the jail for this/ now gimme my kids/ ya give sorry/ i dont wanna hurt em/ i just wanna hold em & me back my kids/ get on my way/ i dont wanna cuz you no more trouble/ i wanted to marry you & give ya things he kicked the screen outta the window/ & held the kids what you gonna give/ a broken jaw/ niggah get outta here/ offa the sill/ you gonna marry me/ yeh, i'll marry ya/ he ignored crystal's outburst & sat down motionin for anything/ but bring the children back in the house/ naomi to come to him/ she smiled back at her daddy/ he looked from where the kids were hangin from the
58/ 5s/ Iady in yellow fifth story/ at alla the people screamin at him/ & strong he started sweatin again/ say to alla the neighbors/ you gonna marry me/ Iady in green i stood by beau in the window/ with naomi reachin cool for me/ & kwame screamin mommy mommy from the fifih story/ but i cd only whisper/ & he dropped em Iady in oronge movin
lady in purple makin me whole
Iady in oronge sense lody in red i waz missin somethin lady in green pure Iady in purPle somethin so imPortant lody in blue all the gods comin into me lady in orange layin me open to myself somethin promised
lady in red lody in blue i waz missin somethin a layin on of hands
Iody in green Iady in green fingers near my forehead somethin promised
60/ 61/ \
Iody in orange Iady in red somethin free i sat up one nite walkin a boardin house screamin/ cryin/ the ghost of another woman lady in purple who waz missin what i waz missin i jump a layin on of hands wanted to up outta my bones & be done wit myself leave me alone Iody in blue & go on in the wind i know bout/ layin on bodies/ layin outta man it waz too much bringin him alla my fleshy self a some of my pleasure i fell into a numbness bein taken full eager wet like i get sometimes til the only tree i cd see i waz missin somethin took me up in her branches held me in the breeze Iady in purple made me dawn dew a layin on of hands that chill at daybreak the sun wrapped me up swingin rose light everywhere Iody in blue the sky laid over me like a million men not a man iwaz coldf i waz burnin up/ a child & endlessly weavin garments for the moon lady in yellow wit my tears layin on i found god in myself lody in purple & i loved her/ i loved her fiercely not my mama/ holdin me tight/ sayin i'm always gonna be her girl AII of the ladies repeot to them- not a layin on of bosom & womb selves softly the lines 'i found god a layin on of hands in myself & i loved her.' It soon the holiness of myself released becomes a song of joy, stafiedby
62/ 63/
l the lady in blue. The ladies sing first to each other, then groduolly to the oudience. After the song peoks the Jodies enter into o closed tight circle.
Iady inbrcwn & this is for colored girls who have considered suicide/ but are movin to the ends of their own rainbows
64/