VOLUME 100, ISSUE NO. 18 | STUDENT-RUN SINCE 1916 | RICETHRESHER.ORG | WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2016 SA PRESIDENTIAL GRIFFIN THOMAS JOAN LIU DEBATES Friday, February 12 @ 8 PM | McMurtry Commons | Food, Beer & Boba Candidates to compete for presidency, EVP SEE CENTERFOLD ON PAGE 6 FOR ALL CANDIDATE PROFILES & PLATFORMS RVP to potentially lose student funding Anita Alem sity with a variety of programming and cess in rollover funding” in the Nov. News Editor video technologies,” the organization’s 18. 2015 issue of the Thresher). Since constitution states. fall 2015, RVP has released four videos The Blanket Tax Committee recom- RVP President Patrick Huang said on its YouTube page. Last year, RVP mended that Rice Video Productions’ RVP also encourages students to bor- released more than 30 videos. RVP pre- blanket tax subsidiary status be re- row its video equipment for personal viously filmed student programming moved at the Student Association Sen- projects and teaches production tech- events including Senate meetings and ate meeting on Feb. 3. If the SA chooses niques. The BTC raised concerns re- cultural shows. to approve the proposal, the student garding the singularity of the organi- The BTC found that RVP’s transi- body would vote on RVP’s status in the zation, stating that this portion of the tion, done without polling of the stu- general election, marking the first occa- mission overlaps with that of the Digital dentbody,violatedacentralblankettax sion under the new blanket tax process Media Commons, which similarly pro- organization criterion by not benefiting in which an organization has been sug- vides students with high-quality audio/ all students and the Rice community. gested for removal of blanket tax status. visual resources and instruction. SA Treasurer Chilakapati said the BTC The leadership of RVP said they dis- RVP no longer uses its broadcasting does not take issue with the method of agree with the recommendation, and channel to distribute content and has delivery via YouTube and Facebook in- courtesy rice video productions did not believe the committee commu- instead for several years been releas- stead of television broadcasting, but is RVP released their original short “NOD BODS” as a part of a transition nicated enough or made an informed ing videos on YouTube and distributing concerned with the content. in programming, which the BTC found in violation of blanket tax status. decision through appropriate discus- through Facebook, although the station Chilakapati, a Hanszen College ju- sion. RVP receives an annual blanket remains and often plays old content. nior, and Lovett College President and comedy entitled “NOD BODS,” had included videos from private users tax of approximately $21,000. Within the past few months, RVP BTC SA representative Griffi n Thomas over 800 views and was produced in who utilized RVP equipment. In RVP’s has changed its name from Rice Televi- cited view counts as evidence of the fall 2015. According to Chilakapati and analysis, only one of the top five most- In Violation: Programming Shift sion and made a subsequent shift in its popularity of cultural and student pro- Thomas, a junior,this indicated that the viewed videos was traditional student The student body voted to designate programming. Huang, a Baker College gramming content. The BTC conducted best move for RVP may not have been programming (a Mr. Rice promo with RVP as a blanket tax organization in senior, and Treasurer Jeremy Kao previ- an analysis of videos posted on RVP’s to move away from filming Rice events, more than 1,200 views). Former Presi- 2001, which was founded as Rice’s of- ously said the organization was trying YouTube channel, and of the five most- which they said more clearly benefits dent Rachel Gray said viewer engage- ficial television station. to focus more on producing original viewed, four were student events, such the student body. ment, or how long people watched the “[The purpose of RVP is] to provide content, including experimental short as Mr. Rice and Beer Bike. The second However, when RVP conducted video, is much higher for short and co- the undergraduate body of Rice Univer- fi l m s ( s e e “ R T V r e b r a n d i n g r e v e a l s e x - most-viewed video, a short satirical its analysis in an offi cial response, it 0see RVP, page 2 Construction begins on first BTC recommends design space open to all students Catalyst to SA for student funding

Anita Alem SA Treasurer Sai Chilakapati, News Editor a Hanszen College junior, had a conflict of interest as a member of The Blanket Tax Committee has Catalyst’s leadership, so Thomas recommended to the Student As- took on the role of leadership as sociation Senate that Rice Catalyst Chilakapati recused himself from be placed on the ballot for voters the decision process. to decide whether to designate Thomas, a junior, said he ini- it as a blanket tax organization. tially had reservations about The Rice Standard did not receive Catalyst’s potential to benefit all a BTC recommendation to receive students, considering it appears student funds. to cater to students in the natural According to the organiza- sciences. tion’s website, Catalyst is a sci- “We asked extensive questions ence research journal allowing and got documentation about all photo courtesy eli wilson undergraduates to provide their different types of departments A student rendering of the concept for the McMurtry Innovation and Creativity Kitchen, scheduled to open by the perspectives on science topics and that they benefit, and they are not research, especially in interdisci- just a STEM publication, but they end of this semester. The space will feature building areas, design-related software and a new 3-D printer. plinary interests. include research from social sci- According to BTC SA represen- ence, humanities, natural science Susan Wen access to tools,” Wilson said. gathering space into a space that tative and Lovett College President and engineering,” Thomas said. Thresher Staff The MICK will be divided into can be used for everything from Griffin Thomas, in order to receive “It really is something that can four areas: art, technology, build- formal gatherings to college spon- a recommendation, organizations bring the entire campus together.” The McMurtry Innovation and ing and free space. Wilson said stu- sored events,” Wilson said. “We must prove that the requested Thomas said he is hopeful that Creativity Kitchen has broken dents will have access to building are looking into getting sponsors to funds contribute to the organiza- the organization would be more ground on construction, according tools, power tools and design-re- essentially allow us to have more tion’s mission, which benefits the established and increase student to Eli Wilson, a McMurtry College lated software, such as the Adobe tablets in this space.” entire student body and Rice com- awareness if it were to become a senior. Wilson said the MICK, the Creative Suite and Sibelius, a mu- The MICK is being created as munity. blanket tax organization. first design space open to all stu- sic editing software. part of the Rice Education of the Additionally, the organization Rice Catalyst joins Rice Rally as dents on campus, will provide re- The MICK will also upgrade cur- Future initiative conducted last must demonstrate a strong finan- the only two organizations out of sources for innovative ideas. rent black-and-white printers to year, which showed through sur- cial need that is long-term and an- the total six that applied for blan- “[The MICK] looks to provide color printers and add a new 3-D vey data that students desire more nual and that all other reasonable ket tax status to receive a recom- every student the ability to be cre- printer and a laser cutter. creative spaces on campus. The means of acquiring funding have mendation from the BTC. Rice Uni- ative and to be innovative and have “We want to reappropriate the 0see DESIGN, page 3 been exhausted. 0see FUNDING, page 3 2 NEWS the Rice Thresher Wednesday,F ebruary 10, 2016

SRB leaders chart new courses for coming year Aparna Narendrula, Staff Writer Coff eehouse Rice Bikes What’s your vision for Coff eehouse in the next year? Where will you take Rice Bikes in the next year? We have two main goals: moving us towards greener and more sus- We’re really hoping to expand our location. We’re kind of outgrow- tainable business practices, and tapping into the diverse set of skills ing our space, which is really exciting. I also see our rental program that students have on campus. For example, going to the Archi school growing to accommodate the large number of people renting bikes on to help us redesign our cafe space and reaching out to Design for Amer- campus. We’re also partnering with an organization in Houston called ica to help Coff eehouse become more reconnected with Rice students. Free Wheels to provide bikes to Houston refugees. We’re really looking Why did you decide to be general manager? to become a larger part of the Houston bike community. I have a vision. I’m very driven to make change. I’m not afraid to What will make you succeed as general manager of Rice Bikes? change things at all and I’m always thinking very critically about how Something that I brought to the shop is an attitude of collaboration things can be improved, always. Effi ciency: How can we improve our with other organizations on campus and within the shop. The manage- Harrison Lin workflow behind bar, how can we improve the customer experience, Madeleine Pelzel ment team is really on top of it this year, so the other managers are re- ally taking care of a lot of the nitty gritty stuff and I’m getting to focus MECH, Brown ’18 how can we reduce the line throughout the door. This mindset of con- ARCH, Lovett ’18 stantly improving has helped Coff eehouse become a better place. on these bigger projects which is really exciting. You love Coff eehouse – why should everyone else at Rice? What are some challenges that you will face? I don’t expect everyone at Rice to love Coff eehouse, but I do think that Coff eehouse is very much the As a shop, our growth and expansion is probably our biggest challenge: We had to cut back on our heart and soul of this campus. It’s the central hub where people go when they have an hour of free time; hours this semester because we can’t take in the number of bikes. This need has really driven us to use it’s a place where you can kick back and relax or you can get down and dirty with studying. We are the our space more eff ectively: We’ve been experimenting with diff erent ways to hang and store bikes and cheapest coff ee you can find in Houston. We know that students don’t have a lot of money to spend. We we’ve really gotten every square inch out of that space. I think for me as GM the biggest challenge is to do things sustainably to the best of our ability and we are a very ethical business in the way we treat make sure that [with] all of our diff erent programs we don’t lose sight of our core mission to provide our employees. We have a very great employee culture — sometimes you see KOCs dancing behind bar. low-cost, high-quality service to students.

Willy’s Pub The Hoot What is your vision for where Willy’s Pub will be in the next year? What are your plans for the Hoot for the next year? In the next year I’m hoping Willy’s will be right where it is right now: One of our plans is to increase the number of specialty nights. Now happily chugging along in the basement of the RMC. I just want Pub to they’re on a biweekly basis. [Also,] diversifying and adding products. be the place students want to go on any given week night. I’m also hop- What made you decide to become GM of the hoot? ing we can throw some great events and generate creative ideas to draw If you had asked me freshman year if I was going to be a manager of in people who may never have come to pub before. an SRB, I would have laughed because there’s no way I thought I was Funny story from working at Pub? going to be comfortable presenting in front of 25 people — but it’s such One of the tamer ones, but during my first shift at Pub I charged a friendly environment and I want to keep that going and keep people someone $1 for a free glass of water and they paid for it. coming. I really appreciated meeting new friends from the Hoot. Why did you decide to step up to this role at Willy’s Pub? What about you is going to make you succeed as a GM? John Williams I just really like the unique history of Pub, as well as everyone that Alura Vincent Taking a hands-on approach and really listening to employees. works there now. I want to help keep Pub the Rice institution it has What I’ve been working on is trying to get employee and other man- MECH, Martel ’17 MECH, Martel ’17 been for nearly 41 years. It’s also rare to have the opportunity to be the ager feedback and make sure I’m aware of every project that’s going on. general manager of a business as a junior in college and it was something I couldn’t pass up. How would you describe the employee culture at the Hoot? What is Pub’s role at Rice, and how is it changing? All of the [SRBs’] employees are super friendly,super collaborative, so the Hoot definitely fits in with Pub’s a place people can come together to meet up outside of their respective colleges and have a that. We’re all night owls because we all work late for sure. I really like the creativity of our employees. good time. Since I’ve been here people have become more and more excited about us stocking new We’re trying to find ways to make the space feel more like a home. Because we just moved to the new and interesting beers. We’ve been trying to bring in a more diverse draft and bottle lineup and that will location, people have really good ideas for like funny posts they can make every night when they open definitely continue in the next year. Wednesday night Trivia has become increasingly popular as well. [like] post[ing] pictures of our food and pictures of our meetings. Transcripts edited for clarity. Read full interviews online at ricethresher.org.

they produce because external entities are paying cess rollover funding, in November 2015. Accord- vestigation due to pressure from the Thresher. 0 them, then they’re not serving the student body,” ing to Chilakapati, the BTC found that the budgets According to Chilakapati, the BTC was not fully RVP Thomas said. “They are operating as a profit-mak - that RVP provided to the Thresher were false, with aware of the organization’s functional change FROM PAGE 1 ing entity as opposed to a service entity.” a mischaracterization of what constituted rollover, until the Thresher article was released. However, Huang, Gray, a Lovett College senior, such that there was little to no actual rollover. RVP “In no way was this whole process a reac- medic videos — as referenced by how 80 percent and Kao, a Hanszen College junior, said RVP has also restructured its budget without notification in tion to a Thresher article in that we wanted to of their top 25 most-viewed videos are shorter than never given special preference to paying entities. August 2015, following the BTC’s review in April. make ourselves look good or correct [a mis- 10 minutes. “The payment idea came from a desire to pro- “These violations have resulted in the decision take],” Chilakapati said. “For us, it was really Thomas said he agreed view numbers are not vide a supplementary incentive to our members that RVP has not been a good steward of student an objective look at the organization based on an ideal metric of judgement, but the BTC has no to be able to film more videos with quicker turn- money,” the BTC stated in its recommendation. the information that was brought to our light.” other metric available due to the lack of formal around,” the RVP leadership said. “If the BTC is RVP said it did not intend to violate the new Thomas said he believes RVP could still polling. against our payment idea, then we won’t do it.” blanket tax rules and acknowledged its lack of succeed as an organization producing video “We’re not saying that what they’re currently communication regarding budgeting. Chilakapati content even without blanket tax funding. doing is not in the student body’s best interest, but Concerns Raised and Thomas said they felt miscommunication “With the new [Digital Media Commons] just [saying] that we don’t know,” Thomas said. The BTC raised several concerns regarding with their adviser, Will Robedee, created issues and with funding sources available to regular “The student body [should] decide.” leadership and budgeting, but did not offi cially with the budget. Gray, Huang and Kao said their clubs, they have all the resources that they The BTC stated that RVP is no longer providing find RVP to be in violation, which requires annual adviser is not a good match, but did not feel RVP would need to thrive as a club without being services to the student body for free and is transi- infractions. According to the BTC, the change in should be punished for failing to change advisers. a blanket tax organization,” Thomas said. tioning to a model of charging organizations for leadership from Gray to Huang in fall 2015 was im- “There has not been a clear path of how to Gray, Kao and Huang said they agreed that if imlfi imlfi n g p r o g r a m m .ngi P d e n a tllasithesiRV .onieg properly conducted without prior notice. However, change advisors,” RVP leadership said. RVP were to lose its blanket tax status, it could Martel College junior Josh Masimore, known as DJ email records from RVP show that Gray contacted On Tuesday, Feb 9, Student Media Director Kel- continue to exist without student funding. Masimore,paidRVPmemberMaxHassell,aLovett members of the SA executive board as early as Aug. ley Lash offi cially became their new adviser and “Members [could] spend more time and College junior, to film his musical performance at 27 with no response. SA Secretary Brianna Singh Robedee was removed from his position as the ad- energy focusing on producing content rather Esperanza. Hassell produced and edited the video, addressed further inquiries from Huang, although viser for RVP, but he continues to be the adviser for than dealing with bureaucratic procedures,” which can be seen on RVP’s YouTube channel, us- conversations about changing the name and KTRU. Robedee declined to comment. RVP leadership said. “We have found the com- ing RVP equipment. Hassell declined to comment. leadership stretched from August to October and “All student groups at Rice deserve advising mittee’s lack of consistency and clarity in com- Thomas said he took issue with the organiza- were not formally approved until January 2016. A that suits their needs,” Lash said. “I’m happy to try munication to be very frustrating, so not hav- tion determining its programming based on mon- change in SA parliamentarian in mid-fall 2015 also to do that for RVP as long as it suits their needs.” ing to work with the BTC would be nice.” etary compensation. delayed communication. Student Media Director Kelley Lash is also “RVP is supposed to [serve] the student body, The Thresher released an investigation into the Beyond the Investigation the adviser for the Thresher and a member of the and when they start to change the types of videos organization’s rebranding, as well as issues of ex- Gray said she felt the BTC had begun its in- Blanket Tax Committee.

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0 open to all students, which differs from cur- NEWS IN BRIEF DESIGN rent design spaces on campus. However, FROM PAGE 1 only McMurtry students can reserve the space. Kinder Institute receives $7 million grant to fund research, outreach “The majority of the spaces on campus creation of the space was first proposed in only open to a selective group of students,” Andrew Ligeralde, Assistant News Editor November 2014. The McMurtry government Wilson said. approved the design of the MICK in March As examples, Wilson pointed to the Os- Large scale data analytics, public health dresses issues facing Houston and other 2015. hman Engineering Design Kitchen, which and education and urban housing develop- urban areas. Director of the Kinder Institute In the past nine months, the committee is open only to engineers and engineering ment are among the main focus areas of the Bill Fulton said the grant will support both has completed initial design, design devel- organizations, and the visual and dramatic Kinder Institute for Urban Research’s upcom- the long term goals of the Institute and the opment and construction documents. The arts studio, which he said is only open to ing research and outreach initiatives, sup- success of the city of Houston. committee is working with an outside archi- certain classes. ported in part by a $7 million philanthropic “This support will help Houston become tect and has obtained a permit, Wilson said. McMurtry is also looking into training grant from the Houston Endowment. a better city and will enable the Kinder Insti- According to Wilson, the space is expected students to ensure the safety of the space, The three-year grant is the largest contri- tute to become a nationally and internation- to be available by the end of spring break. McMurtry junior Sawyer Knight said. There bution the Kinder institute has received since ally prominent urban think tank by 2018,” The Innovative Space is located at Mc- will be safety quizzes required for using the its inception in 2010 as a think tank that ad- Fulton said. Murtry room 107, the previous McMurtry TV power tools and laser printer. Multiple first- room, which is currently under construction aid kits will be available to students in the UT system, A&M look to Houston for expansion possibilities to meet the specifications of the new design. MICK as well. The MICK will try to preserve the gathering “We are working now on who will have Drew Keller, News Editor aspect of the TV room, Wilson said. Students access to this space, and who will be able can also use the space for informal perfor- to check out equipment,” Wilson said. “We Both Texas A&M University and the south of the Texas Medical Center. The mances and formal classes. are taking every step necessary to ensure the University of Texas are considering University of Houston has opposed the According to Wilson, the MICK will be safety of the space.” plans to create new facilities in Houston, development, with its Board of Trustees according to public statements by A&M making an official protest of the move. President Michael Young and UT Chan- “This effort will be decades in the cellor William McRaven. making but will help drive our [UT] Sys- 0 “[The Rice Standard] could conceivably In November, McRaven presented a tem to the very top tier in the nation, FUNDING be doing the same things if the Thresher plan to the UT Board of Regents which while at the same time allowing us to FROM PAGE 1 were to change a little bit about how they included a Houston expansion, though build partnerships with industry and the did their opinions pieces,” Thomas said. not a full new undergraduate school, as other great academic institutions in the versity Splash, Rice Environmental Society Thomas said the Standard’s lack of a dis- one of its eight main initiatives. area,” McRaven said. and the Queer Resource Center were previ- tinct motivation was a determining factor. “This will not be a University of Tex- Meanwhile, Young said A&M was also ously denied a recommendation. “They serve an excellent value to the as, Houston,” a document outlining the looking at expansion ideas, according to The Rice Standard, which did not receive student body, but ultimately when we were plan said. “Rather, it will be an ‘intellec- the Houston Chronicle. a recommendation, is an independent maga- judging based on mission and purpose it tual hub’ for UT, an opportunity for all “We’re in the midst of thinking zine that, according to its mission statement wasn’t unique enough for us to recommend our campuses to take advantage of the through this strategic plan of how do we submitted in the application to the BTC, was them,” he said. Houston professionals in [many] fields.” best serve the state,” Young said to the “created to serve as a public forum.” The Chilakapati said the BTC also did not find In accordance with the plan, UT has Chronicle’s editorial board, according to Standard publishes in print every semester that the Rice Standard exhausted all forms bought over 300 acres of land near Rice, a Chronicle article. and online approximately monthly. of funding, as it is currently in the process of “By publishing original content through applying to outside sources of funding such RICE print and online media, the Rice Standard as grants. HOLCOMBE provides a medium for students to reflect on The Standard formally responded to the and express their most personal ideas with- BTC’s evaluation and stated that it respects out judgment or censorship,” the applica- the findings of the BTC and understands the TEXAS 288 MEDICAL tion stated. reasoning behind the decision. One of the main arguments against the “We hope to learn from this experience CENTER Rice Standard’s recommendation, according and further advance the mission of the Rice OLD SPANISH TRAIL to Thomas, was that its mission was not en- Standard,” the organization said in an offi- tirely distinct from that of the Rice Thresher. cial statement. 610 SOUTH MAIN NRG PARK

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Baker Institute 4th in world, according to new ranking Andrew Ligeralde, Assistant News Editor

The Baker Institute for Public Policy four university affiliated think tanks as was ranked among the top five univer- Harvard University’s Belfer Center for sity affiliated think tanks in the world, Science and International Affairs, Har- according to the University of Pennsyl- vard’s Center for International Develop- vania’s 2015 Global Go To Think Tank ment, London School of Economics and Index Report. The Baker Institute rose to Political Science’s IDEAS/Public Policy fourth, up from ninth in 2014. Group and the Baker Institute. According to the report’s abstract, The report also ranked the Baker In- the rankings are based on feedback from stitute as 18th among think tanks in the a panel of over 1,900 peer institutions U.S., same as its 2014 ranking, and the and experts across the media, academia, Institute’s Center for Energy Studies as public and private donor institutions and second among the world’s energy and governments around the world. resource policy think tanks, up from In order, the report lists the top fourth in 2014. 4 Stereotyping cheaters unacceptable Until last Tuesday, I couldn’t say I was schools in a non-native language. These standard of morality. This morality, though, RVP decision ultimately genuinely disappointed in a sizable number of circumstances do not justify cheating, and is confined not just to not cheating on tests. Rice students. Sure, there were some basketball there is no justification for violating our Honor Being a Rice student must mean that we treat about service to students and football games I would’ve liked to see with Code. However, to lump international students each other with respect and make acceptance a fuller student section, but I had never been or students from one country together as and understanding as important a part of our As the Student Association Senate votes angry at the Rice community or embarrassed to being predisposed to moral deficiencies is not identities as our nationality. on Rice Video Productions’ blanket tax status say I was a part of it. reflectiveoftherealityofwhatourinternational In October, Brown College came under today (see p.1), the Thresher urges its members Last Tuesday, multiple students reported an students experience on a daily basis. fire for handing out the “Most likely to be a to send the measure to the general election bal- Honor Code violation after a Microeconomics bitch ass n----” award. James Carter, a Brown lot. Students have the right to know and decide (ECON 200) midterm exam. Once it was rumored College junior, declared in the following how their tuition is being allocated to support that the alleged cheaters were international week’s Thresher that we cannot yet call Rice student run organizations. Since its shift from students, I watched Yik Yak descend into exceptional, writing, “If we are truly to be an shooting campus events under its old name, a flurry of xenophobia. The posts ranged To lump in international exceptional place, we must be cognizant of Rice Television, to filming creative shorts under from decrying Chinese culture for promoting how our actions impact our peers and have its current moniker, RVP has failed to provide a the pursuance of good grades by whatever students or students from the audacity to speak out against injustices.” platform that can justify why it should continue means necessary to statements regarding one country together as The people spewing xenophobia acted to receive funding, and on a larger scale, how all international students as predisposed to with a total disregard for how their hateful they will continue to serve the student body’s academic dishonesty. While Yik Yak is not a being predisposed to words impacted their peers. I knew James best interests. reliable source to make generalizations about was right back then, that we couldn’t call The Blanket Tax Committee has done a the student body, it is valuable as an insight moral deficiencies is not ourselves exceptional in regards to how we commendable job of handling a diffi cult tran- into what people wish they could say. The reflective of the reality of treated students of color, and now I know sition to a new blanket tax system. However, anonymity provided by the app allows people that we are far from being exceptional in considering its responsibility and annual over- to post these outlandish statements of bigotry what our international how we treat international students. That is sight, the BTC should have been more proac- without fear of the associated social backlash. students experience on a simply unacceptable. Be the person that Rice tive about reviewing RVP. Even though several I often find myself turning conversations thought you were when you were admitted. members of the BTC are also members of the to how much I love Rice and am proud to be daily basis. Build up our community; don’t tear it down SA, they failed to notice until several months a student here. Our academics are elite, our and ostracize its members. later that RVP had stopped filming meetings. professors are passionate and our peers are RVP was not truly under the BTC’s lens until multitalented. But chief of all is the diversity the Thresher released its investigation, indicat- that gives our campus its vibrant life. This Maurice Fredieredierere isa ing RVP could have easily escaped scrutiny. diversity encompasses race, socioeconomic While some international students may Duncan College With regards to the review, the BTC’s and come from similar backgrounds or have had background, religion, political ideology and freshman RVP’s usage of statistics on viewership and national origin. All contribute to our identity, similar experiences at Rice, to generalize the viewer engagement are misleading and unfair. our sense of community and our campus life. morality of non-native students is hypocritical The BTC cited low viewership and engagement Rice is a rigorous institution. Many of us and an exercise of homogenizing students from as reasons to revoke RVP’s blanket tax sta- consistently stay up late into the night to get an incredible array of backgrounds. Students tus. However, metrics like these are not used good grades and get everything done. Most from all nationalities cheat, and violations of against any other blanket tax organization. The of us are also doing it in our native language. the Honor Code are by no means confined to Campanile is not forced to defend its use of stu- Some international students have to learn and international students. Rice as a community dent funding by reporting how many students adapt to an unfamiliar culture while learning must be a welcoming environment that holds actually take yearbooks of the volume it pro- diffi cult material at one of the country’s best its students to the Honor Code and a high duces, and similarly, the Thresher is not forced to prove how many hits we receive on an article as evidence of its right to student funds. Views are a metric of reach to the student body, not a metric of service provided to stu- ‘Seventh Under Scrutiny’ headline revisited dents. Rhetoric surrounding the number of Last week, Kaylen Strench wrote an opinion convey such messages, then in retrospect I what we must do to make our campus a safer views fails to address how the content serves piece in the Thresher calling attention to wish we had written it diff erently. place. But I’m glad that she spoke out about the student body. We cannot and should not ex- the lead story of the previous issue, whose We were concerned that a headline the misplaced blame she saw in our headline pect SA meetings to receive even a hundred You- headline read, “Seventh Under Scrutiny: focusing purely on the assault would serve – and I’m thankful she reminded us all that in Tube views. RVP’s purpose as a blanket tax or- Sid Richardson College faces administrative to sensationalize the event and detract from the end, the assaulter and the assaulter alone ganization isn’t to produce popular videos; it is backlash following sexual assault at the tragic reality that such assaults occur to bears culpability for the violence they inflict. to provide a service. Producing comedic content unregistered party.” Kaylen wrote that the many students throughout the year. Though overlaps with clubs such as Kinda Sketchy and headline and accompanying photo of Sid this particular assault was publicized due is of questionable value to the student body. contributed to making it “not only unclear that to RUPD’s crime alerts, and so elicited a Drew Keller iisaBrownsaBrown Perhaps these films could provide an outlet a sexual assault had occurred, but … imply[ing] much greater response from students and Collegesophom moreore for students, helping them build technical and that whatever happened, the members of Sid administration, we didn’t want to create the and Thresher nnewsews creative skills, while providing a form of enter- Seventh were somehow to blame.” perception that the assault was an isolated tainment. But as it stands, RVP should reassess The headline for the article was the topic incident. As the Survey on Unwanted Sexual editor its goals and determine how to achieve them of considerable discussion among certain Experiences results showed earlier this year, before they reapply for blanket tax funding members of the Thresher editorial staff . While sexual assault is widespread on campus. with a renewed sense of purpose. the headline is factual, it was certainly not In reporting on events like the assault, we The current investigation and recommen- intended to obscure the fact that a sexual hope to not only make the Thresher a source dation are indications that the new blanket assault was reported or to shift responsibility of fact amid rumors, but also support further tax system is serving its purpose, even if it took from the perpetrator of the assault. If it did conversation surrounding the assault and longer than it should have for the BTC to review RVP. The criteria for an organization to receive blanket tax funding are strict for a reason; when a group is given money by the student body, they have an ethical obligation to con- CheckChec out op-eds from SA presidential candidatateses tribute materially to student life – an obligation RVP is currently not meeting. Joan Liu and Griffi n Thomas

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opinions copy Editorial Staff Mitch Mackowiak* Editor Jasmine Lin Editor The Rice Thresher, the offi cial student newspaper Editorial and business offi ces are located on the Julianne Wey Editor Andrew Ta* at Rice University since 1916, is published each second floor of the Ley Student Center: sports Tiffany Yip Asst. Editor Editor in Chief Wednesday during the school year, except during 6100 Main St., MS-524 Maddy Adams Editor

Andrew Grottkau Editor backpage examination periods and holidays, by the students Houston, TX 77005-1892 Yasna Haghdoost* Sarah Nyquist Designer Joey McGlone Editor of Rice University. Phone (713) 348-4801 Managing Editor Riley Robertson Editor Email: [email protected] art Letters to the Editor must be received by 5 p.m. Website: www.ricethresher.org Miles Kruppa* Carrie Jiang Director * indicates member of the Senior Editor the Friday prior to publication and must be Jake Nyquist Photo Editor Editorial Board signed, including college and year if the writer is Unsigned editorials represent the majority opinion of Jessica Kelly Asst. Photo Editor news a Rice student. The Thresher reserves the rights the Thresher editorial staff . All other opinion pieces Anita Alem* Editor to edit letters for content and length and to place represent solely the opinion of the piece’s author. arts & entertainment Drew Keller* Editor Sophie Newman Editor letters on its website. Andrew Ligeralde Asst. Editor Walden Pemantle Editor The Thresher is a member of the ACP, TIPA and Justin Park Designer Samantha Ding Designer’ CNBAM © Copyright 2015 Wednesday,F ebruary 10, 2016 the Rice Thresher OP-ED 5 Though we forget the details, we are all going to be OK On the afternoon of Super Bowl Sunday, away the ones we don’t like, every time we won’t wake up at my second home, because I will on campus, I saw someone, presumably a student, I opted for solidarity. There was a screening tell them. have found a new one. lying down on the ground in front of Fondren. He of Laurie Anderson’s “Heart of a Dog” at the Sometimes, I get jealous of the underclassmen. was talking to someone on the phone, and was Museum of Fine Arts that I wanted to see. They have all of this time left, while I’m desperately basking under the sunlight. Originally, I was going to watch it with my hoping that the little time I do have left with my I walked past him. I had cried in the auditorium roommate, but her plans changed. The other friends, professors and even the squirrels, goes during the film, but I was no longer crying. friend I thought would appreciate such a film The creepy thing about more slowly. And then I remember that everyone Although I will say that I do feel like shedding tears was busy with schoolwork. Even though I has to go through this. If you don’t graduate, it’s as I’m sitting in Fondren, writing this piece with a suppose I could have asked another friend, stories, she explained, usually because something bad happened to you. purple pen. I did not. I went alone – odd for someone A few days ago, I thought about how there were I wasn’t crying as I passed by him because I for whom a good conversation with the right was how much we forget many unpleasant parts of my Rice experience, and knew that somehow, at some point, we are all person can be a natural shot of caffeine. their details, wiping away that reliving my time here would mean reliving going to be OK. It was one of those movies that made me those parts too. I wouldn’t be able to just pick and cry. Narrating as illustrations, photographs the ones we don’t like, choose the good parts. Anderson was right. Stories and videos danced on the screen, Anderson every time we tell them. are creepy. We never tell them as they were. Tina Nazerierianan isa looked at death. The death of her beloved rat After the film ended, I walked back to campus, McMurtry Coollege llege terrier, the death of her mother and the death my black boots crunching the dirt and rocks senior of her artist friend are the specific ones. She beneath me. Several times I pulled out my phone, dedicated the movie to her late husband, because I saw something ordinary which in that musician Lou Reed. In one scene, while moment looked extraordinary. Did you know you telling the audience how she had recounted Lately, I’ve been thinking about the story of can be in the museum district, and angle your her childhood hospitalization to people, my time at Rice. As graduation draws closer, camera at the trees above you in a way that erases Anderson made a revelation on screen. The my fear of missing out grows stronger, and I the buildings? creepy thing about stories, she explained, ruminate the past in my head, thinking about Without earphones, I listened to the sounds of was how much we forget their details, wiping how next year, I won’t wake up on campus. I the city, and the sounds of my own walking. Back Love is kind, love is patient, develop personal bonds “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I her entire outlook on life? Will it suddenly slow process, without even being aware of it. easy to meet new people, so why not take it a need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because fill you up with passion so strong you can’t When you study with peers, get dinner with step further? Obviously, there will be people I love you.’” sit still? I disagree. Sex can do a better job in friends, or make conversations with class- you end up disliking and people who you feel -Erich Fromm both changing your world and giving you an ir- mates, you’re gradually immersing yourself are too weird. But even so, be patient and resistible urge. And love, I believe, is so much in relationships. And, as you get to know oth- nice, and try to understand everyone you If you search “finding love at college” on better than sex. ers better, you learn of their talents, person- meet. The next thing you know, you may be Google, the first link will be a Cosmopolitan We often have a very skewed view of love in alities, flaws and secrets. Love is when you in love with someone you never expected. article entitled, “Don’t Fall In Love In College.” our minds. Our world tells us that love is Leon- accept all these things without a question or Here is the world’s best search engine telling ardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet on a sinking doubt in your mind. You spend a long time you to give up, to stay away from love in college. ship, Mr. Darcy as he professes his love to with someone, and you love everything about Minsoosoo Kim isa And there’s reason behind that. Love can Elizabeth, and Romeo and Juliet calling for him or her. That is love. And it doesn’t always Lovett Collegge e get messy, nasty, terrifying and heartbreaking each other amid their family’s feud. Our per- have to be romantic love. freshman – why experience that when you can avoid it? ceptions of love are tinted by our exposure to So, as Valentine’s Day rolls around, try Sure, it may give you the best time of your life, the perfect, exciting love we see in movies and looking at your relationships a bit differently. but it can also give you the worst. College is read in books. Maybe this is why America’s di- Each friend, classmate or even acquaintance a place where we enjoy and utilize our youth vorce rate is hovering around 40-50 percent. could be someone you end up loving. I’m not to the fullest. It is not meant for finding this Happily ever afters aren’t common. telling you to flirt with everyone you meet, thing called “love.” Because finding love really is not like that. but rather to get to know each and every per- But is love really this special thing that one Love is more subtle, gentle, gradual. Love is son on a deeper level than just from football miraculously finds one day, changing his or kind, love is patient. You find love through a games or parties. Rice’s cultures make it so

H&D Staff Appreciation Dinner a Success!

On Saturday, Feb. 9, the Campus for the staff showcasing shout-outs from all Appreciation Committee hosted a Housing the colleges and some students. We ended and Dining Staff Appreciation Dinner in the evening with a group picture around the Cohen House. This committee was an the cake! In all, we had about 100 of the paid for by the student association initiative committee started this year by staff show up, many accompanied by family Blessing Falade. The committee worked all members. It was very successful and we year to plan and make this event a success. received a lot of help from Olivia Waldron Election Candidates Blanket Tax Update The New Student Representatives along and Julie Bogar. As the staff left for home, with some student volunteers spent a few many came up to us, expressing gratitude General Elections are coming up! Voting Six organizations applied to be subsidiary hours prior to the event decorating the for throwing an elaborate dinner for them. starts at 11:59 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 14 and organizationswithaccesstotheblankettaxgeneral Cohen House with streamers, balloons, closes at 11:59 p.m. Friday, Feb. 19. Be sure pool: Rally Club, Rice Catalyst, Rice Standard, roses and red tablecloths in order to play up to get informed about all your candidates. Rice Environmental Society, Queer Resource our Valentine’s Day theme. Around 6 p.m., Visit sa.rice.edu for more information Center and Rice University Splash. The Blanket staff began trickling in, greeted by some on the specific election timeline and Tax Committee has reviewed their applications of the NSRs. After a short time of mingling campaign statements! and has formally moved to recommend Rally over cheese and crackers, two NSRs, Club and Rice Catalyst to the Student Senate. Carolina Hatanpaa and Gabrielle Lencioni, Election Candidates Rally Club is a registered student organization introduced the event and our committee’s Student Association: aiming to increase student participation, interest vision. Immediately after, the staff lined up and support for Rice Intercollegiate Athletics to be served Italian cuisine by the student President: Joan Liu, Griffi n Thomas through advertising, promotions and events. volunteers. Nati Salazar then proceeded Rice Catalyst is a registered student organization to introduce Jazz Silva, who gave a thank EVP: Brianna Singh, Justin Onwenu, that showcases student perspectives on popular you speech to the staff on the behalf of the Hannah Todd science topics and undergraduate research. For student body, highlighted by one of her Great job, Committee Chair Blessing more information on the applications and our own personal stories with one of the staff Falade and members Carolina Hatanpaa, IVP: Komal Luthra n d sifi ,ng s e vlp tisiea sa.rice.edu. members. After dinner, Navya Kumar and Gabrielle Lencioni, Jacqui Lee, Nati Salazar Jacqui Lee introduced the video we made and Navya Kumar! Treasurer: Maurice Frediere

Secretary: Sonal Pai

RPC President: Jodie Nghiem, Iman Khan

Thresher EIC: Yasna Haghdoost

RSVP Chair: Siyu (Kalian) Shi

University Court Chair: Marcela Interiano

Campanile EIC’s: Matthew Cruz and Kira Chen

Rice Video Production Station Manager: Minoti Kale

Rice Video Production Program Manager: Kevin Li

Honor Council Senior Class Rep: Katherine (Katie) Jensen

KTRU Station Manager: Ernest Pelton photos courtesy rice student association 6 OP-ED the Rice Thresher Wednesday,F ebruary 10, 2016 SA AND BLANKET TAX ELECTIONS Join us at McMurtry commons on Friday, Feb. 12 at 8 p.m. f by abigail panitz and claire weddle CONTESTED SA PRESIDENT SA EXTERNAL POSITIONS JOAN LIU GRIFFIN THOMAS JUSTIN ONWENU

“Join Joan.” “Vote for me and I’ll fight for you.” “Experience. Vision. Passion.”

Year: Junior Year: Junior Year: Sophomore College: Jones College: Lovett College: Sid Richardson Major: Mathematical economic analysis Majors: Political science and policy Major: International health and policy Current Position: SA external vice studies Current Position: SA senator president Current Positions: Lovett College presi- Platform Focus: To expand use of tetra Platform Focus: To work more with dent, Blanket Tax Standing Committee and make the meal plan more flexible, students and organizations to gather member establish greater lines of communica- voice of entire student body, increase Platform Focus: To increase transpar- tion between students and Honor Coun- transparency, clarity and engagement ency for the SA, engage Rice in state cil/SJP/policies on alcohol, increase between administration and students, and national dialogue, and promote communication for students through and connect Rice more to local Houston initiatives for first-generation and low- faculty advisory boards and promote en- community income students vironmental sustainability ABOUT THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES

JOAN LIU GRIFFIN THOMAS As an active member of the Student As- Liu wants to focus on having the SA between students and administrative Current Lovett College President Griffi n Transpa sociation since her freshman year, current work closely with students and organiza- groups like SJP. She said in order to in- Thomas, a junior, is trying to shift his for Thoma External Vice President Joan Liu, a Jones tions to carry out student-driven initia- crease clarity, there must be much more focus from running a college to campus- organizatio College junior, wants to expand her role tives. The purpose of the legislation was than just a statement of the rules. She wide government, a return to the Student and the T in the SA to the presidency. Over the past to facilitate communication between stu- hopes that, as president, she can have Association after a stint as a New Student for student year, she has worked on faculty advisory dents and department faculty. Some pro- the SA facilitate engagement between Representative freshman year. requiring t board and Rice University Police Depart- grams similar to this such as CS Speaks students and administration so there is “My freshman year I served as an NSR SJP meetin ment legislation, helped bring awareness already existed, but the SA wanted to fur- a clear understanding of the administra- and was kind of upset with the SA and how Thomas ha of the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance to ther expand the faculty advisory boards tive policies. ineffi ciently it was run, so I wasn’t terribly He wrote a Rice’s campus, and chartered the Campus to more departments. “My priority is clarity and engage- interested in continuing my involvement in last Februa Culture Priorities Working Group, which ment,” Liu said. “I think it’s about really the organization,” Thomas said. the institut focuses on student well-being. Her main understanding the functioning and role Thomas’ opinion has since changed. complaints priority is to bring clarity and engage- of SJP is or other offices like it within He has admired the way the past two SA Hansen in 2012. ment between students, organizations our institution and understanding how presidents committed to actively address and the administration. All of my past we work with them. It’s not just know- controversial issues, and he enjoyed his “I’m trying to get more engagement,” experience has really ing what they do but understanding what past year serving on the SA as a standing Liu said. “A lot of times people say ‘The they do and engaging with them.” member of the Blanket Tax Committee. He I’m w SA doesn’t do anything’ or ‘The SA is do- built up so that I can Liu also wants to focus on connect- also created the Student Access and Success is pol ing all this stuff, and I don’t understand understand the SA ing Rice to the Houston community. She Working Group to seek out low-income and it.’ Both statements are representations hopes to not only get students involved in first-generation students among other less to do of things the SA should not be doing and inside and out. a social context, but a political context as prevalent voices on campus. also a misrepresentation of what the SA is well. Her work with bringing awareness Last semester, Thomas drafted and sent studen actually doing.” of HERO to campus is an example of what an application to recruit underrepresented Liu served as a New Student Repre- she hopes to accomplish in the future as students to serve on the working group. sentative her freshman year and as the president. “TraditionallyIthinklow-incomeandfirst - SA treasurer her sophomore year. As SA “Being at Rice, I think a lot of times generation students, athletes, international Thomas treasurer, she worked on the Blanket Tax “The whole point of [the academic we take for granted that we are in Hous- students tend to get left out of conversations,” important a Crack Team which reviewed processes advisory board legislation] is to include ton,” Liu said. “With HERO not passing, he said. “If nothing else [I want them to] have student bod regarding last year’s blanket tax system. students in conversations about academ- we should know what that looks like for a seat at the table.” “I’m a p She said these past positions and her ic policies,” Liu said. “In these conversa- us as members of Houston when we leave Another goal of Thomas’s platform is been a lot o work as EVP have helped her prepare for tions at Senate, we’ve had things come the hedges. We need to understand how to encourage the student body to address way that th the presidency. up such as CS Speaks which is an organic this could affect the faculty we try to re- campus and nationwide issues more [Critical Th “I have worked to draft actual legisla- student initiative that has already hap- cruit down the road and the prospective proactively. According to Thomas, the Rice “I think tha tion on campus-wide policies,” Liu said. pened. It almost seemed as if SA is over- students of Rice.” community should foster dialogues on race SA a good a “All of my past experience has really built riding this organic student initiative. The Liu emphasized that her main focus on campus in light of recent protests across students ca up so that I can understand the SA inside intention of the advisory board legisla- is student engagement not only with the college campuses such as the University deliberations is fair and out. I’m able to identify gaps as well tion is not to override any organic student Houston community, but with the SA and of Missouri, Columbia and Yale University. Thomas as the things we do well. I think in terms initiatives. It’s to help broaden any inter- administration. Thomas also mentioned the presidential transparent of my past experience, it has built me up ests students have.” “Student engagement is critical,” Liu debates, noting how the presidential governmen to be able to look back and think critically Liu hopes to bring not only trans- said. “Students have to be part of the con- candidates perceive college, particularly knowledge about all the things we do and don’t do.” parency, but clarity and engagement versation moving forward.” student loans, diff erently. for the task. Wednesday,F ebruary 10, 2016 the Rice Thresher OP-ED 7

Sponsored by:

p.m. for our first annual SA Presidential Debates! Free Food. Free Boba. Free Beer.

EXTERNAL VICE PRESIDENT RICE PROGRAM COUNCIL BRIANNA SINGH HANNAH TODD IMAN KHAN JODIE NGHIEM

Year: Sophomore Year: Sophomore Year: Junior Year: Junior College: Hanszen College: Wiess College: Jones College: McMurtry Major: Chemical and biomolecular Majors: Spanish and policy studies Majors: Computer science and cognitive Major: Ecology and evolutionary biology engineering Current Positions: SA senator sciences Current Positions: RPC external vice Current Positions: SA secretary Platform Focus: To have meal plan cater Current Position: RPC socials chair president Platform Focus: To encourage students more to students’ wants, connect Rice to Platform Focus: To emphasize student Platform Focus: To uphold high levels and organizations to come to SA to advo- Houston through experiential learning input and proper publicity and continue of transparency and responsiveness cate for change, encourage senators to opportunities, on-campus lectures and receiving input and ideas to plan the to student feedback, streamline the work on sustainable projects to impact carrying out ideas from Rice student body best events possible student feedback process in order to Rice, work to expand Rice’s standing in more eff ectively improve and shape our community beyond the hedges events to student needs

NON-CONTESTED POSITIONS SA INTERNAL VICE PRESIDENT SA TREASURER SA SECRETARY arency is an overarching concern Thomas elaborated on his leadership style, as. He wants to continue making which he called said was vital to his work as ons like Student Judicial Programs Lovett president. KOMAL LUTHRA MAURICE FREDIERE SONAL PAI Title IX offi ce more approachable “There is no way to make everyone happy ts. He cited the recent reform of all of the time — the student body is just too two supervisors instead of one at big and diverse,” Thomas said. “However, it ngs as a productive development. is critical to ensure that everyone walk away as had concerns with SJP in the past: from the discussion feeling that the process an opinion piece for the Thresher was fair and their voice was heard.” ary on the changes and controversy Thomas has made his voice heard tion faced in regards to harassment over controversial issues in the past. He s filed by former Rice student Olivia supported Senate Bill #4 but was critical of Hansen in 2012. the way it was introduced. He co-wrote an opinion piece for the Thresher in November calling to reframe the debate and encourage more people to voice their opinions. Thomas willing to do what voted for the bill, but voted against a popular amendment that would change the wording litically unpopular of “additional members to be appointed o what is best for by the Student Association president” to “additional members to be appointed by “New leader. New voice. “Invest in your potential. Year: Freshman students. the Student Association president and New vision. New direction.” Vote for Maurice.” College: Hanszen confirmed by the Student Association Major: Bioengineering Senate or by majority vote of the Student Year: Sophomore Year: Freshman Current Position: New Student Association Senate.” College: Hanszen College: Duncan Representative s said transparency is also Thomas’ history of dealing with Major: Kinesiology Majors: Economics and policy Platform Focus: To promote as it aff ects the relationship of the controversial issues stretches outside of the student body to the SA. SA. As Lovett president, he communicated Current Position: Academics studies well-being and integrity and process guy and I know that there’s with the director of SJP in September when Committee chair Current Position: New Student mental and physical health, of concern in the past year about the complaints were filed against Lovett’s Platform Focus: To encourage Representative and to give the SA a fun and ap- he SA has been run specifically with backpage, prompting SJP to change the Code student participation in academic Platform Focus: To increase proachable brand hinking in Sexuality],” Thomas said. of Student Conduct to address the use of initiatives transparency of funding for at [we should focus on] making the private information in both formal and quasi- student organizations and create and eff ective organization in which formal publications. a student life app an also trust that our process of Thomas emphasized his campaign slogan, ations is fair.” “Vote for me and I’ll fight for you.” s also wants to make the SA more “I don’t play politics really,” Thomas said. ent by communicating with college “I’mwillingtodowhatispoliticallyunpopular nt. He said his experience and to do what is best for students. I don’t shy away Other non-contested positions include Marcela Interiano for University Court chair, Kalian Shi for Rice Student e of college government suits him from fights; I’m willing to represent student Volunteer Program chair, Yasna Haghdoost for Thresher editor in chief, Matthew Cruz and Kira Chen for Campa- for the task. interests in an aggressive manner.” nile editors in chief, Minoti Kale for Rice Video Productions station manager, Kevin Li for RVP program manager, Katherine Jensen for Honor Council senior class representative and Ernest Pelton for KTRU station manager. arts 8 ENTERTAINMENT Houston’s Halal Guys hits a bullseye Melody Yip Thresher Staff

Crowds flocked to last Saturday’s opening of a new Halal Guys restaurant on Farnham Street. The New York-based food-stand chain has long been a favorite for late night meals. On my first visit to New York, I was impressed with the mas- sive gyro platters slathered in thick tahini. So when I headed over to the Halal Guys in Upper Kirby, I hoped for the same flavors and quantity as my first time. In an attempt to evade a long wait I went around 3:30 p.m. The end of the line only grazed the door, but the wait still seemed long. After approaching the counter, I realized that the wait was partially caused by the food’s intricate presentation. The platters are split into neat thirds – lettuce and tomatoes, meat (falafel if vegetarian) and rice. A line cook lay- ers slivers of pita bread in a fan shape on top, drizzling the signature tahini sauce (and red sauce if folks are real about the spice) over ev- erything to complete the dish. Behind the counter, everyone looks busy. I watched a cook toss together giant heaps of gyro beef while another busied himself with vidya giri/thresher chicken. The lady armed with the tahini sauce eagerly whited out platter after platter. They all wore the lurid mustard-and-red colors that Thorsten Brinkmann debuted his new exhibit, ‘The Great Cape Rinderhorn,’ on Thursday, Feb. 4 at the Rice Gallery. Brinkmann used recycled objects to make Halal Guys stand out. Other cooks busied create an inventive, playful atmosphere in which visitors are invited to experience the art on a physical as well as visual level. The architectural landscape themselves adding other options on the menu, is crafted from a careful arrangement of recycled objects collected from City of Houston’s Reuse Warehouse inventory and resale shops. including baklava and sides of jalapenos and olives, though why anyone would want jalape- nos with the fiery red sauce, I have no idea. The food at the Houston location upholds Rice Gallery exhibit invites interactive play the same standards of quality as in New York. Neon orange rice spiced with turmeric and same sort of “junk” objects that fill the installation it became apparent that the delight my friend felt Lenna Mendoza cumin mingled with tender morsels of gyro beef as he parodies traditional styles of painting. The was not a singular experience. Thresher Staff and sprinkles of diced vegetables. The meat is still life photos swap out the traditional fruit and In fact, the other visitors told me what they incredibly savory while the tahini sauce show- The Rice Gallery’s last installation, flowers for the same used objects, which are often thought about the installation – I didn’t even have cases a hearty creaminess that elevates the oth- “Intersections,” used only a cube and light decayed to a degree. to ask. er foods’ flavors. The pita bread, however, won bulb to fill a blank, white room with transient The tongue-in-cheek photos rebel against “That’s the thing about the crate ... [with] a lot me over the most. I picked off those soft, pillowy shadows. The space was so empty that it echoed. highly respected canonized art and artists. of people inside, they start to talk a lot, it becomes slices of goodness one by one with no trouble. In great contrast, the gallery’s newest installation, “I never was a big a fan of holiness in art,” a social space,” Brinkmann said. “You have to Everything complemented each other to create Thorsten Brinkmann’s “The Great Cape Brinkmann said. communicate to get through the tunnel somehow.” a robust, filling meal. Rinderhorn” fills the same space with an absurd One component of the charm of “The Great Would I have waited two hours on open- and eclectic collection of used objects, from canes Cape Rinderhorn” is that it doesn’t take itself too ing day for this? Probably not. Perhaps after to a giant plaster bull’s horn to plastic vegetables. seriously. Inside the crate is a makeshift movie some tweaking with better effi ciency in food The choice to employ pre-used objects in the theater, the projector playing a film showing preparation, people will get their hands on installation is an exploration of Brinkmann’s Brinkmann’s process of taking the self-portraits these meaty platters much easier. The price experiences with consumer culture. that fill the installation. He poses regally beneath I never was a big fan of also increased from $7 at a New York food “In Europe, people don’t keep things very long and on top of a chair, a trash can on his head. The stand to $8.29 in Houston. anymore, it’s more kind of a one-way culture,” film stutters in a silent film fashion which adds to holiness in art. Still, I thoroughly enjoyed my experience. Brinkmann said. “If you go to poorer countries the slapstick feel. Getting a taste of New York in sprawling Hous- you will see that they reuse objects much more This silliness extends into a more general ton gives a more prominent urban vibe here than we do.” sense of fun and play.I took a friend with me to the Thorsten Brinkmann that’s very welcome. It’s also wonderful to know These objects are repurposed in surprising installation, who admitted that he is not usually Artist of ‘The Great that Houston is continually garnering more at- waysaswallhangingsandsculpturecomponents. interested in art. The moment we entered the Cape Rinderhorn’ tention in the food scene. Whether hankering In this way, they transcend their retro and kitsch lobby, his eyes lit up in disbelief at the contents of for a late-night food fest or an aff ordable meal, associations. Still, in their employ they create the gallery. By the time we left, his perception of Halal Guys rises to the occasion marvelously. a rather domestic space, including a bedroom art had changed completely and he couldn’t stop which can be accessed only by crawling through talking about the installation. an Alice-in-Wonderland miniature hallway. At “I like the idea that people can sit on it, that Visitors encouraged each other to explore the times, it begins to feel only one bizarre step from they can walk through, that their experience is rest of the installation, pointed out interesting interior decoration, which fits well with one of with the whole body, that you use all your senses, pieces, laughed together, asked questions and Brinkmann’s recent projects, the interior of a and if you want to see the whole installation you provided explanations. In this way, you become four-story house in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. have to do it,” Brinkmann said. part of the environment, a guest or resident of this The careful curation of each object is incredible. I think that’s one of the most remarkable eccentric home. They’re even skillfully arranged behind curtains things about “The Great Cape Rinderhorn.” The “The Great Cape Rinderhorn” will be on view and underneath furniture, inviting the viewer to way it makes you engage with it forces you to open until May 15. The Rice Gallery’s hours are 11 a.m. to peek and interact. up – you have to crouch, sit, crawl and poke your 5 p.m. Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday; The space is fantastical, quaint, vibrant. head through holes if you want to experience the 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Thursday and 12 to 5 p.m. Sunday. Brinkmann’s high-saturation self-portraits and instillation in full. For those who are not able, It’s a great experience even for those who are “not still life works of art hang on the papered walls. In there are small video monitors and an iPad usually interested in art,” but be sure to come his self-portraits, which he creates using a camera tour that feature the less accessible areas of the dressed to crawl so you can see all the installation with a timer, parts of his body are obscured by the installation. Watching other visitors in the space, has to off er.

THE 52 PICK UP CORPROCRACY DALI ON FILM ART SHOW WEEKLY 52 cards, 52 scenes, one relation- This is the last weekend to catch Didn’t know Dali made films? You know the one. Grab your ship. That’s the tagline for Houston the Station Museum of Contemporary Now’s the time to check them out and appetite for experimental art, mu- SCENE Theater LaB’s acclaimed production of Art’s free exhibition, “Corpocracy.” impress your friends with your new- sic and late night sweets and head 52 card pickup. The show begins with 52 The exhibition is a collection of com- found surrealist wisdom. Aurora Pic- over to the Pancakes and Booze The editors ’ picks cards, each with a scene title on them, pelling works by artists and sociolo- ture Show presents Bunuel and Dali Art Show on Friday, Feb. 12 at 8 for this week’ s being thrown into the air. From there, gists about corporate culture’s eff ect Films at the Menil on Friday, Feb. 12 p.m. Note to the wise — it will be best events. Time the cast picks one card at a time, acting on society. The show will be open un- at 7 p.m. Trigger warning for creepy crowded. Get there early if you don’t to explore the out the scenes in corresponding order. til 6 p.m. every day until Sunday but insects and detached images of sex want to be stuck in line in this un- The show runs through Feb. 28. seasonal cold. wonderful world after that, it closes for good. and death. of Houston. MATCH Houston Station Museum Menil Collection Warehouse Live 3400 Main st. 1502 Alabama St. 1515 Sul Ross St. 813 Saint Emanuel St. thelabhou.org stationmuseum.com aurorapictureshow.org pancakesandbooze.com Wednesday,F ebruary 10, 2016 the Rice Thresher A&E 9

WHAT’S HIP RIGHT NOW by kaylen strench WEBSITE: FASHION: FILM: TRENDING: Frinkiac search Rainbow freckles ‘Zola’ Marley Natural

courtesy frinkiac courtesy seventeen In a phrase: Either the stupidest or most genius courtesy shutterstock search engine. In a phrase: The coolest trench since dying your courtesy marley natural Where to find it: www.frinkiac.com armpit hair. In a phrase: Awesome plot/idea, ugh James Where to find it: Instagram for pics, or just go Franco. In a phrase: Fancy bongs. Weird search engines are an Internet sta- wild yourself. Where to find it: Should hit theaters in the Where to find it: marleynatural.com ple … At least, if you’re the kind of person (like next year or so. me freshman year) who spends 20 percent of God, this one really would make our great- Smoking weed is slowly losing its shady, their time at Fondren studying and 80 percent grandparents roll over in their graves. It started So this is a hard one to explain, but I’ll give it scummy stigma. As legalization spreads web-surfing. There’s “Artcyclopedia,” which the way all of this shit starts, with a Kardashian a try. A few months ago a chick who goes by the across the nation, “lighting up” is steadily allows you to find everything you’d ever want Instagram post. Nearly 10 months ago, Kendall name of “Zola” posted a massive, epic story on transforming into not only a socially to know about certain works of art and the Jenner debuted penciled-on freckles in an Twitter about “how her and a bitch fell out.” Her acceptable hobby, but one that shows artists who made them. There’s “Oh My God otherwise unexciting selfie, giving the okay for engrossing chronicle about the adventures of potential for large-scale appreciation. At LOL!!!,” which lets you search the dregs of the others to draw spots on their face. Very shortly two sex workers in Florida (yes, I read the entire least, this is clearly the perspective of new Internet for all relevant memes when you en- after, others started not only copying Jenner’s thing) contains all of the ingredients for an epic weed-friendly line “Marley Natural,” which ter a keyword. And for the total freaks, there’s trend, but totally one-upping the starlet by film: sex, drugs, violence, love, betrayal, you is trying to rebrand marijuana consumption “Horror Find,” which allows you to just search showcasing glittery, colored freckles. name it. “Zola’s tale” really would make for an as a pastime with class. for weird, creepy shit in a systematic way. Question one: How do you get rainbow incredible film, but who would make it happen? The small company’s first collection, The newest gem is “Frinkiac,” a search en- frecks? Most Insta stars report using body It really could only be the hot, talented, “Black Walnut,” includes a wide variety of gine that provides a means of searching for any paint, which sounds relatively safe and if not overly narcissistic, James Franco. In quality crafted marijuana paraphernalia, (literally any) still from “The Simpsons” with a thankfully temporary. Question two (the more typical Franco fashion, James is going to including a $68 spoon pipe, a $162 quote or key phrase. While I’m not a huge Simp- important one): Should you sport rainbow direct, produce and star in the film. Though premium bubbler and a $72 hand-blown sons fan myself, I did enjoy finding the images freckles? I mean on the one hand, they are many of Franco’s recent directorial projects glass steamroller. Though the collection’s corresponding to “You don’t win friends with pretty hip (this is What’s Hip Right Now, after have been largely critical flops (“Sal,” “The clearly pricey, you could think of it as an salad” and “Don’t make me run, I’m full of choc- all). On the other hand, anyone over 40 is going Sound and the Fury,” etc.), his weird vibes opportunity to transform from “stoner” olate!” Anyway, you will probably feel horrible to think you dropped out of school to become a and free spirit seem like a good match with to “weed connoisseur.” Alternatively, you about yourself if you waste even three minutes birthday clown. So, I guess if you can take the the “Spring Breakers” spirit of Zola’s “Stripper could just buy your bongs at the local using this thing, but it sure is, well, interesting. judgment, go for it, dude. Saga.” I’d admittedly probably see it. smoke shop like the rest of us. 4 quirky Valentine’s Day date ideas to break the cliches Walden Pemantle & Sophie Newman A&E Editors

Valentine’s Day is tough. Even if you’re in a relationship, dates can quickly end up feeling overdone, cliche and just plain awkward. That being said, cynically moping around on “Singles Awareness Day” by yourself sounds even worse. Regardless of where you land on the relationship spectrum — hanging out with friends, a date or actually trying to make the day special — take the day to do something fun and maybe even just a little romantic … if you’re brave.

Straight White Men Aquarium In the season of love and heartbreak, let’s not This is an especially good idea if you’re forget our nation’s real unsung heroes – straight, not sure whether or not you’re on a “real white, heterosexual males. Guys: I know you have date.” If you are, great. The aquarium is fun, been feeling neglected. You can’t get a word out interesting and a perfect level of quirky. If without someone pulling the ol’ cisgendered you’re not, it’s still a good place to kick back remark or directing you to the “straightwhite- with friends and ogle some fish instead of boystexting” Tumblr page. Fear no more. Now, af- ogling each other. Who knows, your impres- ter minutes of systemic oppression, it’s your time sively vast knowledge of marine mammals to take the stage. Take a date (your mom, grand- could be the spark you and your date need mother, hookup) to the Stages Repertory The- to realize your feelings for each other. After- atre’s regional premiere of Straight White Men. ward, bring your special someone for a feast If you don’t like theater, you might be excited to in the Nautilus ballroom, just for the halibut hear that this event is recommended for “mature” (reservations required). It’ll leave your date audiences – you know what that means. saying, I want to tackle that box.

Picnic Man Seeking Woman If you really want to impress, a picnic is the If you truly don’t have any plans (and truly way to go. It’s more casual than a fancy dinner, don’t care), this comedy is the ultimate for lying and since you can pick what food to pack, it gives in bed in your underwear and laughing at your you an even better chance to show how well you loneliness. The show follows awkward 20-some- know your date without having to cook dinner, or thing Josh’s experiences trying to rebound after foot a pricey bill. Try buying sandwiches from Re- a tough breakup. Far from a typical rom-com, vival Market, pastries from Common Bond Bakery monsters and magic show up at the worst times or, the excellent to-go Indian food from Himalaya. for Josh, adding an element of magical realism Fancy cheese, bubbly water and wine are always that keeps everything honest, while poking fun a plus, but really, this is a chance to pack exactly at how absurd dating can be. Highlights of the what your date wants. Chocolate and bonbons first season include what to do when your ex is be damned, if your date likes cottage cheese and dating, quite literally, Adolf Hitler, and how to kombucha, I say pack it. cope when even your hand dumps you. 10 Football adds 18 players to 2016 recruiting class

Aniket Tolpadi Thresher Staff

The Rice University football team added 18 players to its program, with athletes from around Texas signing their National Letters of Intent on Feb. 3. As the Owls look to compete for a Confer- ence USA championship and return to a bowl game, they primarily acquired three traits in their incoming class: size on the interior off ensive line, playmakers at wide receiver and speed on defense. Based on the team’s graduating class and performance last sea- son, these were the team needs earmarked by Head Coach David Bailiff and his staff . These needs were reflected in the types of student- athletes added to the team.

We are looking for young men that will not only help us win a conference championship in football, but also help us graduate 100 percent. David Bailiff Head Coach

Of the 18 recruits, eight are off ensive play- ers and 10 are defensive players, and all are from Texas. Off ensively, the team added three wide receivers, three off ensive linemen, a tight end and a cornerback. While the staff is ex- cited about all the recruits, co-off ensive coor- jake nyquist/thresher dinator/wide receivers coach Billy Lynch said Aaron Cephus, a 6-foot-5, 188-pound receiver Ace on the Senior pitcher Blake Fox was selected as a Preseason Second-Team All-American by the National Collegiate Baseball Writer’s from the Houston area, has the potential to Association last week. So far in his Rice career, Fox has a record of 26-2 with a 2.45 earned run average. The Owls open their sea- make an immediate impact on the team. diamond son Friday, Feb. 19 at home against the University of Arizona as they look to win their 21st straight conference championship. “Aaron Cephus is a tremendous athlete that not only has the length and the athleticism but has a real knack for timing his jumps,” Lynch said. “The ability to have that impeccable tim- ing gives us an opportunity to have a big play The Final Kauntdown athlete that can really stretch the field.” 0 see Recruiting, page 11 NCAA football’s conference structure restricts Rice’s ability to attract top recruits Recruiting students is not a problem for Rice More troubling, however, is that the base- This ranking, however, is only mildly note- University. Rice is one of the top academic in- ball team had an advantage in 1991 that the worthy compared to the grander imbalance stitutions in the nation and boasts some of the football team does not have in 2016. In 1991, evident in NCAA football. The poor ranking best resources and facilities of any school in Rice competed in the Southwest Conference, this year is likely partially due to the success of the country. Recruiting student-athletes, how- one of the top athletic conferences in the the University of Houston football team, which ever, has not been as easy. This year, according country. It could sell recruits on the opportu- propelled its recruiting class from No. 89 last to Rivals.com, Rice ranks outside the top 100 nity to prove themselves by winning confer- year to No. 44 this year after winning the Chick- football recruiting classes of 2016 after national ence championships against such schools as fil-A Peach Bowl. Since both Rice and Houston signing day. It is the second straight year Rice the University of Texas, Austin, Baylor Uni- vie for recruits from a similar area, Rice likely has not been ranked on the list. versity and Oklahoma University, to name a lost some recruits because of the Cougars’ suc- At first, it’s easy to look at the Rice football few. Today, however, Rice’s conference, Con- cess, not because Rice was unattractive. team and wonder why it cannot seem to secure ference USA, is considered a less talented Instead of looking at this year’s rankings highly touted high school athletes. After all, the league and its champion usually plays in a alone, we must focus on the larger issue at baseball team seems to succeed at recruiting bowl game that may not be recognizable to hand. As of now, there is virtually nothing Rice All-American-level talent on a regular basis. recruits. can do to earn one of the top 50 recruiting class- Unfortunately, this comparison is unfair. The For these reasons, Rice is not alone in its re- es in the country. For this reason, we should not football program at Rice faces recruiting chal- cruiting struggles. No Conference USA football place blame on Coach David Bailiff or Rice for lenges in 2016 that are based in the structure of team is ranked above 69th on the top 100 re- a poorly ranked recruiting class. Instead, when modern day NCAA Division I football. cruiting classes in the country. There is little the searching for reasons highly touted student- Back in 1991, the baseball program was in a school or coaching staff can do to attract more athletes do not choose to come to Rice, we need similar place as the football program is today. football players because the current structure to look no further than the NCAA. The team was consistently average, their win- of NCAA Division I football restricts upward The Final Kauntdown is a column written ning percentage oscillating above and below mobility. Once a team is in a lowly conference, by Andrew Grottkau. The opinions expressed courtesy denison herald .500 on a year-to-year basis. In 1992, however, there is little it can do to impress recruits and in the column are solely his own. the Owls hired manager Wayne Graham and saw therefore little it can do to compete with major Taylor a superb owl an immediate 13-win improvement. In 1994, af- conference teams. Andrewew Grottkau ter two straight winning seasons, the Owls had If Rice can change anything to attract more Former Rice wide receiver Jordan Taylor an All-American in Jose Cruz Jr. Finally, in 1996, high-profile recruits, it is the culture surround- isaMcMur rtryCollegetryCollege holds the Lombardi Trophy following the the Owls won their first conference champion- ing athletics at the university. While the cur- freshmana andnd Denver Broncos’ Super Bowl 50 victory ship. They have now won 20 consecutive confer- rent marketing strategies have at times been Thresher sportsports s ence titles thanks in large part to their ability to strange, they project the right message. If the over the Carolina Panthers. Taylor, a mem- sustain success by recruiting talented players. university can create a culture that promotes editor ber of the Broncos’ practice squad, has The problem with the baseball team’s suc- athletics, more student-athletes will be likely been recognized for helping star quarter- cess is that it relies on a cycle of positive re- to want to come to Rice. Through this strategy, back Peyton Manning return from a foot inforcement. The baseball team wins, which the Owls can improve their ranking of No. 11 injury this season. impresses recruits, and these recruits join the out of 14 recruiting classes in Conference USA baseball team to help it win even more. this season. Wednesday, February 10, 2016 the Rice Thresher SPORTS 11 Kidd’s Korner Competitiveness is present in sports and in life

One particular trait resides inherently ning rampant at Reckling Park with players within each and every person regardless of fi ghting for weekend start slots, positioning who they are, where they come from or what in the starting lineup, and even backup roles. they have been through. Whether you are a A unique incident unfolded in the third intra- student, an athlete, a professor or a doctor squad game of the spring. in the nearby Texas Medical Center, each day All-American pitcher Blake Fox was on the presents challenges that you must overcome. mound trying to get one of the team’s most The way to overcome these challenges is by prominent power hitters, Andrew Dunlap, competing. out. Dunlap hit a towering shot to deep left Take students, for example. Students com- fi eld but the trajectory of the ball carried it just pete among themselves to do well and become foul and out of play. Fox, being the competitor the very best and most well-rounded individu- that he is, felt irked by how long Dunlap had als they can be. Athletes compete every day to watched the ball and on the very next play, better themselves physically in order to domi- Dunlap was jogging over to fi rst base not be- nate the opposition at both the individual and cause he had hit the ball but because the ball the team levels. Professionals such as doctors had hit him. compete against terrible diseases such as can- Fox intentionally threw at Dunlap because cer or Alzheimer’s in hopes of one day devel- the competitor in him had urged him to do two oping a cure that saves countless lives. The things. First, Fox was sending a message that point I am trying to make is that competition, there were certain rules of etiquette in base- whether it is against yourself, another person, ball that Dunlap was not following. Second, a circumstance or a daunting task, brings out he purposely hit Dunlap in the strong muscle the best in people and is the way we should of the back so as to not injure him because of live out our lives. the respect he had for him as a person, and While competition is integral to every as- because he would never dare to intentionally pect of life, perhaps the most prevalent way harm a teammate. this is shown is through the avenue of sports. Fox said he has a lot of respect for Dunlap The will to compete for your teammates is despite the brief altercation. like no other. There are two teams sharing the “I grew up with Dunlap, I went to middle same court, fi eld or stadium, and more often school [and] church with him,” Fox said. “I than not only one team can come away victori- know he is a big strong hitter and when I get ous. As the stakes are raised from preseason to on the mound I’m very competitive. But all in regular season to postseason and beyond, the all there was a conversation between me and performance on the fi eld is elevated and en- him within 10 minutes [of the incident] and hanced. In looking specifi cally at the game of things worked themselves out pretty quickly.” baseball, I can say competition has been the As Fox detailed, this small feud did not single most exciting aspect of my time with even last 10 minutes. Moments such as these the Rice Owls. portray the level of camaraderie in competi- Baseball is the most competitive of all sports tion and serve as a learning opportunity that when it comes to its individual aspects. When gives sports its higher meaning. All in all, the a pitcher is on the mound, he is doing nothing respect one has for his teammates, the game but trying to get the batter out. Simultaneously, itself, and for striving to win comes about the batter has no other motive than to drive in through an appreciation for competition and tiffany yip/thresher runs for his team. During the past year, there an ability to celebrate in the good times and Taking a Freshman forward Marquez Letcher-Ellis attempts to draw a charging foul have been two instances in which the competi- refl ect in the bad times. as a University of Southern Mississippi player goes for the layup. The Owls The lesson of these two separate incidents tive nature of baseball and of the Rice Owls in charge won the game 72-65 to bring their record to 8-15 on the season (3-7 in C-USA). particular has been on full display. is that competition must focus on making oth- Last season, Ford Stainback, a four-year ers better more so than making yourself better. starter for the Owls from 2011 through 2015, This message can be translated into multiple was playing in a Sunday game at the Uni- facets of everyday life for those engaged in versity of Arizona. In an odd turn of events, competition beyond sports. Compete to earn Stainback was ejected in the fi rst inning of that job you have been striving for in order to that game because his competitive spirit over- impact others with the work you do once you fl owed into the love and loyalty he had for his have acquired it. Compete against a disease ex- teammates. Following a tough loss the previ- perts believe has no cure and be the individual ous night to the Wildcats, Stainback scored that saves countless lives. Compete in the aca- in the fi rst inning and yelled as he crossed demic world to expand knowledge and inspire home plate due to his excitement. Stainback students to reach their full potential. Compete was trying to rally his teammates while nev- in life so that you may reach your goals while er losing sight of the respect he had for the learning valuable lessons along the way that game or acting in an unsportsmanlike man- do more good than you could have imagined. I ner towards the opposing team. However, challenge all of you reading this to compete in the umpire decided to eject Stainback for the an eff ort to make the world a better place. fi rst time in his storied career. Stainback was Kidd’s Korner is a column written by Mi- greeted by a clubhouse of fi red up teammates chael Kidd. The opinions expressed in the who realized he had sacrifi ced himself for the columnn are solely his own. sake of the team. “Nobody was mad about [the ejection] and Michaelael Kidd some people were happy that it happened be- is a Lovettvett College cause it showed some fi re for the team,” Stain- back said. “Competition shows [that] people junior care and while we were out there having fun, $500 prize it comes down to competing for each other and not just ourselves.” More recently, the team has been taking to selected video! part in a spring series of intrasquad games in preparing for the season opener against Arizona on Feb. 19. Competition has been run-

the high academic standards make it easier 0RECRUITING to recruit athletes. frompage 10 “You’d think the academics would make this an obstacle, but that makes this a very Defensively, the team was able to add easy university to recruit to,” Bailiff said. The video's intended use is to engage Rice voices to spark dialogue on talent on all three levels. The Owls signed “When we walk into a home, we’re offering four defensive linemen, two linebackers, a scholarship that could change their lives. complex social issues. and four defensive backs. As with Lynch on It’s one where we do the traveling camps, the offense, assistant head coach/lineback- we don’t have great numbers, but we have ers coach Darrell Patterson talked glowingly young men that believe they’re admissible Video requirements: about all of his recruits. According to Pat- to Rice.” Maximum 15 minutes in length terson, however, Dylan Silcox, a 6-foot-2, Bailiff said he is extremely excited about 195-pound defensive back from Winnie, the potential of his incoming class, both on Format of your choosing, but should touch on the following: race Texas, particularly impressed him. the field and off. “Dylan Silcox is a cornerstone of our “They are great fits academically, and relations, stereotypes, GLBT concerns, privilege, religious diversity. class, he was our first commit,” Patterson they are great fits athletically,” Bailiff said.
Video must be Mac-compatible and submitted to the Office of said. “He got one of the greatest compli- “We are looking for young men that will not ments you could ever get when [former Rice only help us win a conference champion- Multicultural Affairs on flash drive by Monday, March 7th, 2016. tight end and current San Francisco 49er] ship in football, but also help us graduate Please be sure to obtain written permission from individuals videotaped Vance McDonald said, ‘Coach, he’s more 100 percent. They’re going to come in and athletic than I was.’” make a big difference at this university.” to use their words/likeness. Rice’s academic rigor may deter some The new recruits will officially join Rice top-tier athletes. With their successes in re- football over the summer to prepare for the cent seasons, however, Bailiff and his staff upcoming season, or, if they are redshirted, have proven otherwise with their recruiting to become stronger and prepare for their For additional info. contact Catherine at [email protected]. abilities. In fact, Bailiff actually said that collegiate careers. 12 BACKPAGE the Rice Thresher Wednesday,F ebruary 10, 2016

Gmail

Mail

COMPOSE FlagGate 2K16

Inbox [email protected] to [email protected] Starred Dearest Bron-Bron, Important As I’m sure you’re aware, this weekend bore witness to an unprecedented amount of theft, specifically of the flag-related Sent Mail variety. It appears to have been a domino effect. Duncan, concluding that Martel’s status as a dormitory forfeited its right to a Drafts flag, removed it promptly, and Martel retaliated by burgling Duncan’s banner. Jones, in a display of immature competitiveness, pilfered Will Rice’s pennant; Will Rice escaped with Wiess’ ensign; Wiess filched Lovett’s flag, and so on. The majority of the residential colleges participated in committing offenses, save Sid Richardson, whose members decided against following the sinful standard of stealing standards.

In attempting to determine the cause of such heinous behaviour, I have been examining the recent past to see if any particular event could be the perpetrator. My first thought was the extermination of the Cheer Battle during O-Week – perhaps students were acting out physically because they didn’t have any verbal outlet to do so. The implications of this hypothesis were horrifying. Would Lovett be burned down? Would someone defecate on Brown? I came to my senses when I realized that no matter how far this could go, no one would ever actually — and pardon my language — “fuck Will Rice.” Gross. I mean, what would the logistics even be there? How could someone literally engage in sexual activities with a building? Why, I don’t even think any student at this university would have the sheer gall to expose themselves in public, much less around a college as beloved as Will Rice. The only explicable reason to do so would be to urinate, but surely the young adults around campus can contain their bladders to make it to a bathroom indoors ... Where was I?

Right. The culprit.

After considering all possibilities, I believe I’ve identified the problem. In the past three weeks, students have become fearful of drinking and socializing together in situations that are public in spirit or effect, organizing gatherings that are publicly announced or advertised to college members or students in general, and throwing parties that are held in college facilities but not sponsored by the colleges. Their Rice-y angst and awkwardness, unable to be quelled by gatherings like those I’ve just stated, has driven them to cause upheaval on campus.

If you look at the graph below, I believe you’ll see that there it supports my case. I know it’s a little complex – I was up all night making it and didn’t get a wink of sleep — but if you spend some time and really analyze the data, you should be able to see what I mean. Flags stolen stolen Flags

In the past Previously three weeks

I’m sure you now understand the severity of the problem. With regard to solutions, I believe there are a number of ways to move forward. Primarily, RUPD should encourage the consumption of alcohol immediately, specifically in private settings. Without the bottled sedatives that typically subdue students, they have become more active and unruly than ever before. We will further subsidize this initiative by providing a keg to each college; we can take this money from the advertising division of athletics. (Who signed off on that? Is it even producing results?)

I look forward to hearing from you. Events like FlagGate are extremely dangerous, and only tarnish Rice’s reputation as a refined institution.

Sincerely,

Hutch-puppy

P.S. I’ve hired new groundskeepers for the south colleges. Have you noticed that grass has stopped growing around Will Rice?

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