Ngos, and Other Challenges: a Qualitative Study of Female) مرد ومدد

Mard va Madad), NGOs, and Other Challenges: A Qualitative Study of Female) مرد ومدد

Afghan Refugees’ Path to Independence

A dissertation presented to

the faculty of

the Scripps College of Communication of Ohio University

In partial fulfillment

of the requirements for the degree

Doctor of Philosophy

Shermineh Davari Zanjani

December 2020

This dissertation titled

Mard va Madad), NGOs, and Other Challenges: A Qualitative Study of Female) مرد ومدد

Afghan Refugees’ Path to Independence

SHERMINEH DAVARI ZANJANI

has been approved for

the School of Communication Studies

and the Scripps College of Communication by

Brittany Peterson

Associate Professor of School of Communication Studies

Stephanie Tikkanen

Assistant Professor of School of Communication Studies

Scott Titsworth

Dean, Scripps College of Communication

Abstract

DAVARI ZANJANI, SHERMINEH, Ph.D., December 2020, Communication Studies

Mard va Madad), NGOs, and Other Challenges: A Qualitative Study of Female) مرد ومدد

Afghan Refugees’ Path to Independence

Directors of Dissertation: Brittany Peterson, Stephanie Tikkanen

Refugees, particularly female Afghan refugees, are among the most vulnerable populations. For decades, previous research on displaced and refugee populations had a

“nongendered” approach toward studying refugees’ experiences and struggles: they either looked at refugees’ experiences as a group, or in cases where they had a focus, they mostly looked at male refugees' experiences and challenges throughout the pre-flight, flight, and resettlement process.

This dissertation, however, examined the personal narratives, experiences, and challenges of female Afghan refugees throughout their resettlement process in the U.S.

Specifically, taking an ethnographic qualitative method approach, this study examined (a) female Afghan refugees experiences of the everyday routines throughout the early transitional period of resettlement, and (b) the advocacy work of local NGOs with refugees as they navigate and manage the new everyday routines.

To address the research questions, I volunteered, worked, and drew the sample from a midwestern local refugee-advocacy NGO. I conducted participant observation for more than 24 months and 16 in-depth 1- to 2 hour-long interviews, with three female

Afghan refugees, and 13 NGO staff, liaisons, and volunteers. Using Tracy’s (2013)

مرد (iterative paradigm data analysis yielded three emergent themes in regard to RQ1, (a iii

(Mard va Madad), (b) illiteracy and English language (im-)proficiency, and (c) و مدد support of local NGOs. Following the same analysis approach, the relationship between liaisons and refugees was explained using parent-child relationship metaphor with one overarching theme of independence vs./and autonomy and two subthemes of fulfilling vs./and expectation and expectation/and reality.

The result of this study provides a deeper understanding of refugee voices and experiences from their perspective and role of refugee-advocacy NGOs by pointing out the importance of considering refugees’ cultural background, social gender roles, and individual trauma while expanding the previous communication study research.

Additionally, it will provide critical recommendations for local refugee-advocacy NGOs.

Dedication

To my parents, Jalal and Shahnaz, and my sister Shaghayegh, thank you for teaching me, loving me, encouraging me, and supporting me to pursue my dream and move thousands of miles away from home. I am one lucky daughter and sister,

I love you.

To my husband Hassan,

Thank you for being with me every step of the way all these years, showing me nothing

but patience, acceptance, encouragement, and unconditional love. I love you azizam.

Acknowledgments

The completion of this dissertation could not have been possible without the help, participation, and support of many groups and individuals. First and foremost, I would like to extend my most heartfelt gratitude to the three female refugees, Fereshteh, Nasim, and Zinat, for welcoming me into your homes, allowing me to listen to your stories, and to share your experiences. This dissertation was completed because of and for you. I would also like to express my appreciation to AFR and CRR, the directors, and each of the staff, liaisons, and translators whom I had the pleasure of meeting, working with, and interviewing.

I cannot begin to express my thanks to my dissertation advisors, Dr. Brittany

Peterson and Dr. Stephanie Tikkanen, for your invaluable friendship, unwavering guidance, encouragement, and careful reading of each draft of this dissertation. Thank you for all you have done for and with me. I am incredibly grateful to my committee members, Dr. Devika Chawla, for teaching me about the importance of representing marginalized voices, and Dr. Nukhet Sandal, for providing valuable and detailed feedback. Thank you both for your patience and time.

I would like to extend my sincere thanks to my cohort, fellow graduate students, dearest friends, Dr. Marion Mendy, and Elizabeth Jenkins for supporting, praying, laughing, crying, and holding my hands as we all went through this graduate program together.

Table of Contents

Abstract ...... iii Dedication ...... v Acknowledgments ...... vi List of Figures ...... x Chapter 1: Introduction and Rationale ...... 1 Overview ...... 1 The Premise ...... 3 The Case for a Communicative Exploration of Refugee Stories ...... 4 Understanding the Refugee Experience ...... 5 Chapter 2: Historical Context...... 14 Chapter Overview ...... 14 Definition of Terms ...... 14 Historical Account of Refugees Experiences in the U.S...... 14 Historical Media Portrayals of Refugees in the U.S...... 22 The Role of Religion in U.S. Treatment of Refugees ...... 27 Advocacy Groups ...... 28 Chapter Summary ...... 30 Chapter 3: Literature Review ...... 32 Chapter Overview ...... 32 Refugees ...... 32 Study of Everyday Routines ...... 36 Labeling Theory and Stigma ...... 39 Female Refugees and Labels ...... 44 Afghanistan’s Refugees...... 45 Everyday life of Afghan Female Refugees ...... 47 Non-Governmental Organizations ...... 50 Non-Governmental Organizations, Defined ...... 51 Refugee-Advocacy Non-Governmental Organization Activities ...... 53 NGOs and Social Support ...... 56 Challenges of NGO-Refugee Relationship ...... 58

vii

NGOs’ Use of Social Media ...... 60 Chapter Summary ...... 66 Chapter 4: Methodology ...... 68 Chapter Overview ...... 68 Suitability of an Ethnographic Qualitative Study ...... 68 Organization Sites ...... 71 Data Collection ...... 72 Observation ...... 73 Interviews ...... 75 Organizational Artifacts ...... 77 Author Positionality ...... 78 Data Analysis ...... 79 Pursing Validity and Analytic Rigor ...... 82 Chapter Summary ...... 85 Chapter 5: Refugees’ Ordinary Experiences and Everyday Routines Throughout the Early Phases of Resettlement ...... 87 Chapter Overview ...... 87 Challenging Road to Independence ...... 88 Mard va Madad) ...... 88) مرد و مدد Illiteracy and English Language (Im)Proficiency ...... 108 Support of Local NGOs...... 115 Chapter Summary ...... 129 Chapter 6: NGO Volunteers’ Role in the Early Phases of Refugees’ Resettlement ...... 131 Chapter Overview ...... 131 Woven Relationship ...... 131 Parent-Child Relationship ...... 137 Dependency vs/and Autonomy ...... 140 Summarizing the Liaison-Refugee Relationship ...... 161 Chapter Summary ...... 165 Chapter 7: Discussion and Conclusion ...... 166 Chapter Overview ...... 166 Research Premise ...... 166 viii

Afghan Female Refugees’ Experiences Throughout the Early Transitional Period . 167 Examining the Everyday ...... 169 Illiteracy and English Language (Im)Proficiency in Everyday Life ...... 171 Unpacking the “Nongendered” Perspective ...... 179 AFR Liaisons’ Work in Refugees’ Everyday Lives ...... 190 Obstacles of Independence ...... 192 The Importance of True Representation: Stigma and Labeling ...... 215 Practical Recommendations ...... 218 Limitations and Future Research ...... 221 Conclusion ...... 222 References ...... 224 Appendix A: Refugee Protocol ...... 265 Appendix B: AFR Staff and/or Volunteers Protocol ...... 267

List of Figures

Figure 1 ...... 22

Chapter 1: Introduction and Rationale

Overview

In this chapter I will present and establish the premise of this dissertation research regarding Afghan female refugees’ personal narratives and experiences of the everyday routines in the new culture and the role of NGOs in helping these women settle into their new lives. I will begin with providing a context of refugees’ experiences and stories living in the United States with the goal of providing more understanding of their unique challenges. In Chapter 2, I will provide a historical overview of the U.S. government’s approach toward refugees and the acceptance, treatment, and media portrayals of refugees. In Chapter 3, I review the previous literature on refugees, particularly female refugees, as well as the role of refugee-advocacy NGOs in helping and representing refugees and present the research questions this study will address. In Chapter 4, I will discuss the methodological approach used to collect the data, analyze the findings, and address the research questions. In Chapter 5, I will discuss the findings and salient themes of research question one regarding female Afghan refugees’ experiences of everyday routines throughout the early transitional period. In Chapter 6, I will discuss the findings and the salient themes of the research questions two regarding the role local refugee- advocacy NGOs in the lives of refugees throughout the resettlement process. Finally, in

Chapter 7, I will present a discussion of the findings of this dissertation research and its contribution to the communication studies discipline, the areas in which this study addresses the gaps within the existing literature, present recommendations and limitations of the study, and suggest future directions.

A few years ago during a conversation with an international scholar visiting Ohio

University E.W. Scripps school of journalism, we discussed our similar interest regarding the refugee crisis and the ambiguity of definition of the important populations and concepts of ‘refugee’ and ‘refugee status’ within Geneva Convention documents. We discussed how the original Geneva Convention did not include and incorporate sections related to the rights and protection of LGBTQ+ asylum seekers and refugees fleeing government and religious prosecution, or global warming asylum seekers and refugees who are displaced due to the impact of natural disasters or deterioration of their living conditions. Additionally, we shared our concern regarding the fact that such gaps within the Geneva Convention for years have impacted asylum seekers’ application approval and refugees’ status within different countries in the 21st century.

This discussion made me think further about the refugee population, the complexity of their status, and what they all endure and have to go through in order to reach safer conditions. Specifically, that made me curious to look at the existing literature and see what refugees themselves have said about their experiences and how they have described their journey throughout their preflight, flight, and post-flight process. I noticed that there are not that many studies where the researcher did not have to rely on translators and interpreters, and were as such unable to get refugees’ perspective directly from them, perhaps losing some of the cultural meaning, nuances, and complexities throughout the process. That is the part where it showed me my unique position in regards to having the ability to be the bilingual researcher with English translation major who is able to provide a platform for refugees, particularly female Afghan refugees who 2

speak Dari/Farsi, to share their unique life stories and experiences. This dissertation, in short, is about the importance of listening to and representing the underserved, marginalized, and misrepresented voices of a vulnerable population.

The Premise

How bad would things have to get, for you to spend all of your money so your

family could cram into a flimsy, rubber boat with 40 other people? Imagine you

can’t swim, and nor can anyone else in your family. It’s night, you have no lights,

and you must travel six miles across choppy seas. There is no captain. A man who

has never even been on a boat will navigate. They tell you to sit on the dinghy’s

inflated edge with your son on your lap. Your husband must stand, and you

cannot even see your brother, because it’s so dark. How bad would things have to

be, before you put your family in that boat? How bad would things have to get,

before you actually felt lucky to get a spot on that boat? (Perabo, 2017, par. 1)

Piper Perabo wrote this piece in the Huffington Post trying to paint a picture of the experiences and hardships of the refugees fleeing their home country to seek asylum on a Greek Island. She accompanied the IRC (International Rescue Committee) to

Greece, helped the non-governmental organization (NGO) staff, and reported about the refugees’ arrival, condition, and journey. Today, both on television and online, countless news stories, televised news coverage, and articles like this one focus on the refugee crisis with the intention to shine more light on preflight, flight, and resettlement processes of refugees. However, rarely do these news stories cover the narrative perspectives of the

refugees themselves. Refugee voices are often understated or perhaps even absent in the coverage.

Through this dissertation I have two major aims: (a) to provide a space for the refugees to share their stories and experiences of resettling in the culture and adjusting to its rules, norms, and daily routines, and (b) to investigate the role of the NGOs in helping and supporting refugees throughout the early phases of resettlement as refugees are getting to know and adapting to the new culture. Accordingly, my two main research questions are:

RQ1: How do Afghan female refugees describe their ordinary experiences and everyday routines during the early transitional period living in the United States?

RQ2: How do volunteers and staff from this NGO work alongside/work with these women as they manage their everyday routines?

Through this dissertation I have sought to answer these two main research questions which will be explored and discussed in the upcoming chapters. In this chapter,

I begin by describing refugees’ experiences and the role of key actors, such as NGOs, throughout the refugees’ journey.

The Case for a Communicative Exploration of Refugee Stories

According to Bauman (2016), mass migration is not by any means a recent concept; it has been an ongoing phenomenon throughout history brought about by political unrest, conflicts, environmental challenges, economic instability, and many other issues. However, in the past decade the refugee crisis has become bigger and more critical as evidenced by the number of people fleeing from Syria, Iraq, Yemen, Libya, 4

and other countries (Dolloman, 2015). According to the United Nations (UN), by the end of 2016, there were 65.6 million people who were forced to leave their country behind and seek refuge and asylum in another country (UN, 2017). While many of these refugees are able to reach and reside in neighboring countries, such as Jordan, Turkey, and Kenya, some of them resettle in Western countries, such as the U.S., Canada, and the U.K.

(Gerladi, 2018).

Refugees encounter many hardships and challenges throughout their journey of fleeing their country, staying in refugee camps, and then resettling in a new country.

While many of these displaced individuals ultimately get to live in a safer place than their countries of origin, they also lose “their housing, income and position in society, employment, [and] social support system” (Careresearch, 2018, par.7). Additionally, many refugees and asylum seekers experience psychological and physiological trauma due to separation from or loss of family and friends, abuse, torture, post-traumatic stress disorder, poor nutrition, lack of medical care, etc., which are then added to the list of struggles that these groups face with in their daily lives (Harris & Zwar, 2005).

When it comes to societal understanding of the issues, experiences, and struggles of refugees, particularly in America, there are arguably two significant sources of information: the government and the mainstream media.

Understanding the Refugee Experience

A government’s historical and current approach toward refugees is important to understanding how refugees are perceived or treated by the people of those country

(Loescher & Scanlan, 1986; Mathema, 2018). People pay attention to, and are influenced 5

by, the tone and attitude of their country’s leaders about refugees. Leaders’ attitudes are important, because as Feldman (1983) argued, citizens’ trust in the US government mostly reflects their trust in “the people in Washington” rather than political system in general (p. 342). When we take a closer look at the approach of the current government— the Trump administration—toward the refugee crisis and refugees, we learn that there has been a significant change compared to Obama’s administration. For instance, considering the proposed travel ban, the number of refugees admitted to the U.S dropped from

110,000 in 2016 to 50,000 in fiscal year 2017 (Mathema, 2018). And because the government’s approach toward refugees has an effect on society’s attitudes towards displaced persons, perhaps unsurprisingly we have seen the discourse surrounding accepting and resettling refugees in the U.S shift in recent years (Buff, 2019).

The media is another primary source on which people rely to gain more understanding of different topics. Therefore, the negative and stereotypical representations of different groups and populations, such as refugees, significantly influence the overall public opinion of that society (Khan & Ecklund, 2012). The approach people use to attend to and understand messages portrayed by the media also dictate how they eventually shape their own perspective on different topics. According to van Dijk (1991), the influence of media and people’s understanding through media can be explained based on four important assumptions. The first assumption has to do with the extent to which people actually understand the news and the information they are consuming/receiving, which as the previous research indicates that understanding is usually very little (Gunter, 1987; van Dijk, 1991). The second assumption explains that 6

people later rely on and use the little information that they can actually remember

(Graber, 1984; Gunter, 1987; van Dijk, 1991). So, as van Dijk (1991) argues, “any influence of the Press must be based on the little people do memorize of what they read”

(p. 228). The third assumption argues that people’s understanding will not be about the textual information, rather their interpretations of the news according to and in addition to their existing ideas, values, and beliefs (van Dijk & Kintsch, 1983; van Dijk, 1991).

And the final assumption explains that the “active processes of understanding and memorization are embedded in a social, cultural, and political context” (van Dijk, 1991, p. 228). In other words, people’s opinion about a concept is whatever limited amount of information they can remember from the media coverage and have interpreted through their already established belief system. In sum, these elements show that the opinions that people form about certain topics, groups, or issues are the result of the little information that they initially saw and remember. Media coverage of a specific population, ethnicity, race, religion, etc. can thus shape people’s perception about those groups.

Influential sources, such as media and government, have the agency to mold and frame people’s perspectives. The media and government usually create, generate, and establish information and ideologies about people of other cultures which work more in favor of people in-group with more power (Thweatt, 2005; van Dijk, 1991). As van Dijk

(1991) argues, “to control other people, it is most effective to try to control their group attitudes and especially their even more fundamental, attitude producing, ideologies, because in that case the others will behave out of their own ‘free’ will in accordance with the interest of the powerful” (p. 37). This experience is also known as hegemony which 7

occurs when those in power have the agency to dictate and shape the basic belief of other group(s) in society—where the less powerful still believe they have agency, and as such, unintentionally participate in their own oppression as they make decisions in line with the those in power (Allen, 2011; Gramsci, 1971). In short, the perceptions of the powerful, whether positive, nonjudgmental, negative, or stereotypical, all become part of the systematic memory and shape how society thinks about refugees and other marginalized populations. When people come across conversations related to refugees, they rely on that systematic structure which can help them make sense of the situation and form judgements.

Entman (1993) refers to this systematic or collective memory as culture. Culture is a social construction, meaning that it is shaped by and shapes the individuals who are part of it (Allen, 2011; Kastanakis & Voyer, 2013). People rely on culture—as a system of beliefs, ideas, expectations, and values—to shape, reshape, adjust, and advance their perception about variety of concepts, including the way to think or feel about people of other cultures and ethnicities (Kastanakis & Voyer, 2013).

In addition to those two main sources, the government and the media, two other sources have also played a role in representing the voices of refugees: scholarly research and advocacy groups. Scholarly research on refugees has predominantly focused on refugees’ mental and psychological health (e.g., Hassan et al., 2016), their process of acculturation in the host country (e.g., Phillimore, 2011), the economic impact of refugees on the host countries (e.g.,Taylor et al., 2016), and other similar aspects. So, while scholars examine many important elements of refugees’ lives, not many of them 8

have explored the everyday challenges and experiences of the refugees’ experiences—or enabled the refugees themselves to tell their own stories.

Additionally, throughout the history of the U.S., different advocacy groups have had differential success in influencing U.S. policy and attitude toward accepting and rejecting refugees, such as various local and national advocacy groups on welcoming refugees from different parts of the world in the host countries (Loescher & Scanlan,

1986; UNHCR, n.d.; Urban, 2016). Therefore, advocacy groups are one of those important influential actors who work directly with the population for whom they advocate and can influence policy makers’ and the government’s approach toward the refugee crisis and treatment of refugees (Lester, 2005).

In order to get a more holistic view of the refugee experience, we need to consider one of their predominant partners: Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs). NGOs are able to fight for the refugees’ rights, fight against the negative perceptions of refugees, and facilitate resource distribution (Mathema, 2018). According to Martens (2002),

NGOs at local, national, and international levels have become an important economic and social component within societies. NGOs are often involved throughout the processes of preflight, flight, and resettlement by helping, advocating, and assisting refugees in in any way they can (Kenny & Lockwood-Kenny, 2011; Martin et al., 2005). For instance,

NGOs participate by sending and providing supplies and clothing to the refugees throughout the journey, by offering education, health care, and/or housing, and by helping refugees find jobs when they reach the host countries. In all of these ways NGOs strive to advocate for and help the refugees (McBrien, 2005; Rush, 2017). 9

Moreover, in addition to assisting refugees throughout their transition, NGOs advocate for refugees by working collaboratively with the states/governments through providing “grassroots protection and assistance or in the formulation of policies, standards and norms and in monitoring their implementation” (Lester, 2005, p. 1).

Through utilizing both their offline and online platforms, fighting against the stigma perpetuated by the media, and informing and engaging the community, NGOs are able to help refugees throughout the process of resettlement and integration within the society

(Yang & Saffer, 2018).

Notably, while all these sources (government, mass media, and advocacy groups) cover, research, discuss, and advocate for different aspects of refugees/the refugee crisis, the media seeks to sensationalize, the government looks to create policy, and advocacy groups work to counter negative narratives and shape policy. However, we do not often see these sources (government, mass media, and advocacy groups) interviewing and understanding refugees, their stories, experiences, and struggles from the refugees’ own perspectives (Dyck & McLaren, 2004). The refugees’ everyday hardships and experiences throughout the early phases of resettlement as told from their own perspectives are often absent from the broader discourse. More specifically, when it comes to refugees, we mostly hear/talk about them in forms of facts and statistics instead of talking with them and getting to know them. In short: refugees are often talked about, but rarely talked to. Daniel Trilling (2018), a journalist from The Guardian, made this plain while discussing different myths about the refugee crisis. Trilling explained that most of the time with the arrival of refugees, journalists and aid agencies rush to get the 10

most compelling and dramatic story about the refugee’s suffering and focus only on the traumatic experiences of a refugee—neglecting to learn about the person as a whole.

When stories like the one above are all we hear about the refugee experience, we hear only a partial story. We are not given the chance to understand refugees as human beings with their own unique dimensions, experiences, and stories. As Bauman (2016) argues, while the concept of welcoming refugees is not a new idea, U.S. citizens might consider refugees as strangers who

…tend to cause anxiety precisely because of being “strange”- and so fearsomely

unpredictable, unlike the people with whom we interact daily and from who we

believe we know what to expect; for all we know, the massive influx of strangers

might have destroyed the things we cherished—and intend to maim or wipe out

our consolingly familiar way of life. (p. 5)

Perhaps as Bauman suggests, these fear-based perspectives dominate when we lack personal interaction with refugees. In short, the narratives that the government and the media perpetuate shape our understandings of refugees, at times in highly problematic ways. And therefore, it is important to turn a communicative scholarly lens on refugees and their own narrative of their journey to and everyday experiences in the new culture in order to more deeply understand their experience. Still, even scholarly literature lacks extensive research on refugees’ experiences from their own perspectives.

Therefore, gaining a more holistic understanding of the refugees as individuals is of great importance for two reasons. First, the storytelling process can benefit the refugees themselves. Making a space for refugees to tell their story helps them to reflect, 11

learn, and grow because of those experiences (Dyck & McLaren, 2004; Holloway &

Freshwater, 2007). Through the dissemination of the refugees narratives, either through mass media or scholarly research, people of the host country will have the chance to learn more about refugees. Second, understanding the refugees’ perspectives would then help the advocacy groups learn more about how to help them and possibly reduce bias toward this population. People will gain an understanding where refugees are coming from, what they do/do not need, what their historical life story entails, and more importantly what their life story can be like in the future. This knowledge is essential to easing the socialization process into new cultures and makes refugees more familiar to the people of the host country and help debunk the misconceptions which are the result of uncertainty and lack of knowledge. These narratives remind people from the host country that refugees are human beings like anybody else, their experiences matter, and they are valuable members of the society. Eventually these stories can have impacts on policy makers, governments, and other actors whose decisions affect the life, health, and livelihoods of refugees.

Through this dissertation research I aim to elevate the stories of the everyday lives of refugees, affording them space to use their own voices and share their own perspectives, experiences, struggles, and accomplishments. Moreover, I am interested in understanding how one particular NGO, Advocating for Refugees (AFR), is helping refugees. More specifically, I want to explore how this NGO uses online and offline strategies to accomplish their goals.

In summary, the focus of this study is on refugees’, particularly female Afghan refugees, and their experiences and challenges of getting to know and adapting to the new cultural norms and routines. Additionally, this study will examine the role of refugee- advocacy NGOs who help refugees in the communities in which they are resettling.

In Chapter 2, I will provide a more general historical context of refugee experiences and advocacy groups role within the U.S. Then, in Chapter 3, I will review previous literature on refugees and the refugee crisis. Within this chapter I discuss the role of NGOs in general and how they work alongside populations such as refugees, as well as how adoption of new technology shapes their advocacy work. In Chapter 4, I will present the methodological approach toward collection and analysis of the data for this dissertation research. In Chapters 5 and 6, I will bring and explain the findings which answered the two major research questions of this research. Finally, in Chapter 7, I will discuss salient findings and how they extend and contribute to the communication studies discipline as well as other areas focused on experiences of female Afghan refugees.

Chapter 2: Historical Context

Chapter Overview

This chapter provides a historical context of the U.S. approach toward refugees’ acceptance and treatment. In this chapter I will first explain what the term ‘refugee’ means and why in this study I am focusing on this population, then discuss the attitude and policies regarding refugees throughout U.S. history, review the historical media portrayals of refugees, and examine the impact of role of advocacy groups on the treatment of refugees throughout the history.

Definition of Terms

Every day people leave their countries, cross borders, and search for new homes.

These seekers are referred to by a variety of names including “immigrant”, “asylum seeker”, and “refugee”—terms that are often used interchangeably. Each label boasts different definitions and legal statuses as well as connotes (in)stability, level of agency, and financial status. As such, it is important to distinguish the difference between these concepts and state which one I will be referring to and examining in this study.

Immigrants leave their country “because they want to work, study, or join family,

…or because of poverty, political unrest, gang violence, natural disaster or other serious circumstances that exist” in their original country (Amnesty International, n.d., par. 12).

So, immigrants, generally with more stable financial status, in some ways have more agency over when they want to leave their country and where they want to migrate to and resettle.

Asylum seekers are then people who “flee their own country and seek sanctuary in another country, they apply for asylum, the right to be recognized as a refugee and receive legal protection and material assistance” (UNHCR, n.d., par. 5). According to the

UNHCR, in order for the asylum seeker to be granted refugee status, they should clearly establish and argue that they are not able to return to their home country since they will certainly face persecution (UNHCR, n.d.). Therefore, the asylum seeker status is a hopeful precursor to refugee status.

And lastly, a refugee is an individual “who has been forced to flee his or her country because of persecution, war or violence… and has a well-founded fear of persecution for reasons of race, religion, nationality, political opinion or membership in a particular social group” (UNHCR, n.d., par.1). Unlike an asylum seeker, an individual with refugee legal status has established that she/he is unable or is afraid to return to her/his home country due to reasons such as “ethnic, tribal, and religious violence” which are “the leading causes of refugees fleeing their countries” (UNHCR, n.d., par. 1).

According to the UNHCR, 57% of refugees worldwide come from countries of Syria,

Afghanistan, South Sudan, Myanmar, and Somalia—countries which are plagued by war, persecution, and violence.

In this study I focus my attention on refugees for two main reasons. First, refugees are former asylum seekers whose cases were accepted and are transitioning and resettling in the host country. They have moved beyond the unstable and uncertain status of being an asylum seeker, but they are still a vulnerable group who now has to navigate life in a new country, culture, and society. And unlike immigrants—who had the agency and 15

financial capability to make the choice to move to another country—refugees were forced to flee their country and did not have the same agency and capability. Therefore, the idea of not having any choice but to flee one’s country despite emotional, familial, and patriotic attachments to it, alongside the crippling uncertainty of not knowing the future or and all the hardship ahead to get somewhere safer, make refugees an important population to study.

Second, as previously discussed, when the refugees get to their host country (in this dissertation, the U.S.), most dimensions of their livelihood depend on the local government’s approach, decision, and funding. Further, the mass media in the country can impact how citizens view these individuals. In addition to those two main sources, advocacy groups have also historically played a significant role in how refugees are accepted and treated. Together, the media, government, and advocacy groups of a country have significant impact on how the refugees are perceived, welcomed, and treated. The national and international discourse surrounding this population, communicated and led by these powerful sources, directly impacts its members’ everyday lives. Because of their status and position within the U.S. and considering the social and political climate within this country, the lives of refugees might be better or improved in comparison to their life before migration but are still not necessarily ideal. So, in this study I seek to get a better understanding of how refugees are living, surviving, and improving their lives considering and despite the pressure, (mis)representation, and support of the influential actors mentioned previously. In particular, I am interested in finding out how this group

is getting to know the newness and unfamiliar aspects of their resettled everyday life while navigating the external pressure imposed by those actors and sources.

When taking a closer look at the impact of the government on the refugee experience throughout history, we notice that the ideologies, discourses, and policies created and led by the government have directly shaped people’s negative and positive perceptions of the refugees (Alencar, 2018; Perez, 2017). The approach that governments take to deal with the refugee crisis and the discourse that they use to talk about refugees all have impacts on the way the society thinks about and perceives refugees. According to

Risse-Kappen (1991), the people’s perception about foreign policies, in a more top-down approach, are directly influenced by political leaders and government. Due the complexity of the system of politics and policies, people are generally more concerned with economic policies—which directly impact their lives—than foreign policies (Risse-

Kappen, 1991). Moreover, the majority of people do not have that much knowledge in politics, unless they are part of the “attentive public, which has a general interest in politics” (Risse-Kappen, 1991, p. 482). And lastly, public opinion has the tendency to change and reshape as it is impacted by new ideas introduced by policy makers or when people themselves challenge, question, or revaluate ideas and beliefs (Risse-Kappen,

1991).

Therefore, when it comes to impact of government’s refugee policies, it is noticeable that public perception and reception of refugees are influenced by the nature of those policies that are set and developed by the government (Jacobsen, 1996). When government policies convey and perpetuate negative approaches toward refugees, then 17

the public perceive refugees as opportunistic individuals who will deteriorate the economy and bring violence and harm to the country (Jacbosen, 1996). And when those policies take a positive approach, the refugees are perceived as individuals who had to flee their country to escape life-threatening situations and are in need and deserving the community’s empathy, understanding, and assistance (Jacobsen, 1996). This section outlines the historical approaches of the U.S. government towards refugees in order to set the stage for understanding current refugees’ experiences.

Historical Account of Refugees Experiences in the U.S.

Throughout U.S. history, the approach and attitude of the government toward refugees has been constantly changing. Heines (2012) explains that “the American experience with refugees over the past seventy years has ranged from acceptance to rejection, from well-wrought program efforts to botched policy decisions, from humanitarian concerns to crass politics” (p. 1). The U.S. has never had a consistent approach toward refugees.

From the welcoming and compassionate approach of George Washington to opposite attitudes pre- and post-World War II, the U.S. government has adopted various ways of dealing with refugees’ admission to the country. According to Loescher and

Scanlan (1986), although George Washington originally established a humanitarian discourse and approach toward accepting “the persecuted and oppressed of all nations”, the U.S. “grew progressively more restrictionist in the first decades of this century, shutting its gates to most newcomers. Among those almost totally excluded were refugees of every description” (p. xiii, xiv). But World War II became a turning point as 18

the United States attempted to refollow the approach defined/set by George Washington and accept more refugees into the country (Loescher & Scanlan, 1986). According to these authors, U.S. foreign policy, domestic politics, and social and economic status have shaped the extent to which this country has welcomed refugees (Loescher & Scanlan,

1986). Jacobsen (1996) also argued that usually there are four elements that influence government’s refugee policies: “1) bureaucratic choices made by the government; 2) international relations; 3) the absorption capacity of the local host community; and 4) national security considerations” (p. 660). These elements have also clearly shaped U.S. governmental policies related to refugees.

Later, during the Carter administration, the Refugee Act of 1980 was introduced and approved which “was the first fundamental reform of the law on admission and resettlement of refugees since 1952” (Tyson, 1990, p. 922). This act then led to creation of Federal Refugee Resettlement Program which together have set the standard for the refugee screening and acceptance into the U.S. (Krogstad & Radford, 2017). During this administration and because of this act, the executive branch and Congress came together and started to work collaboratively and figured out an admission system that would justify refugees’ acceptance while balancing “humanitarian concerns” and “national interest” (Tyson, 1990, p. 925). This act provided a more solid and structured system for the U.S. government to approach the migration and refugee crisis.

Then, during the Bush administration and in the aftermath of 9/11 terrorist attacks, the U.S. significantly suspended the refugee admission for three months to ensure the national security and closely reexamine refugee admission (Krogstad & Radford, 19

2017; Steinbock, 2003). Throughout the months after that the refugee admission gradually restarted “and only about 28,000 places in the 2002 and 2003 fiscal year quotas of 70,000 refugees were filled” (Steinbock, 2003, p. 952).

The Obama administration, however, with the emergence of the Syrian and South

Sudan refugee crises during his two terms, had a more open approach toward refugee admission into the U.S. However, after the Paris terrorist attacks of 2015, 53% of

Americans refused President Obama’s decision to admit more Syrian refugees according to his original plan for that year. Still, during the fiscal year of 2016, 84,994 refugees (out of the 85,000-admission ceiling for that year) were admitted to the country, making it the highest number in the past 10 years (American Immigration Council, 2019; Carlier, 2016;

Pew Research Center, 2015).

Travel Bans

The current Trump administration introduced the proposal of Executive Order

13769, popularly referred to as “The Travel Ban” or “Muslim Ban,” in January 2017.

This executive order illustrated a marked shift in governmental policy with respect to refugee admissions. The original travel ban, which blocked the entrance and visa issuance for citizens from countries of Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, and Yemen, was later revised in aftermath of national criticism and airport protests (Thrush, 2017). In the second and revised travel ban, issued in March of 2017, Iraq was dropped from the list of countries and the ban was effective for 90 days. In the third travel ban, issued on

September 2017, North Korea, Venezuela, and Chad (which was later removed) were added. However, despite protests, in June 2018, the Supreme Court upheld the Trump 20

administration’s travel ban, which drastically shifted the United States’ approach toward immigrants and refugees (Thrush, 2017).

Considering the fact that the countries on the list were predominantly Muslim countries, many critics described the administration’s approach and proposed ban as a violation of “U.S. immigration law or the U.S. Constitution First Amendment” which demand the government to have an open-arms approach to people of all nationalities and any religion (Hurley, 2018, par. 6). However, the administration strongly argued against the fact that this ban is opposing the U.S. Constitution and claimed it helps to keep the

U.S. safe and secure from outside threats (Hurley, 2018; Liptak & Shear, 2018).

Each and all of the travel bans impacted so many peoples and groups, such as

(international) students, tourists, workers, families, spouses, children, and Muslims in many ways (Cruz, 2019). Of all groups and people who were impacted by the travel ban, potential refugees were impacted the most. According to the UNHCR (n.d.), by the end of 2017 there were 25.4 million refugees who were forced to flee their country. Of those,

12 million were Syrian refugees, the largest number of refugees from any country

(UNHCR, n.d.). During the fiscal year of 2016, over 38,900 Muslim refugees were admitted to the U.S., but this number decreased significantly in 2017 due to the series of travel bans (Connor & Krogstad, 2018).

As shown in Figure 1, the annual cap of refugee admissions gradually started to drop from the beginning of the year 2017. Particularly, in 2018, the number of refugees admitted to the country was around 30,000 less than the allocated cap, resulting in only

20,000 admitted: the lowest number in the past four decades (MPI, 2018). 21

Figure 1

U.S. Refugee Admissions and Refugee Resettlement Ceilings, Fiscal Year 1980-2018.

Adapted from analysis of Migration Policy Institute (MPI) from State Department

data, 2018.

As a result of this ban, currently many refugees, who are vulnerable populations and have no choice but to flee dangerous circumstances with the hope of rebuilding their life somewhere new, can no longer consider the U.S. as a possible new home. More specifically, refugees from countries such as Libya, Yemen, and Syria, who were experiencing war and hardship in their country in the past few years, had less chance of getting to seek refuge in the U.S. (Gladstone, 2018).

Historical Media Portrayals of Refugees in the U.S.

Media is one of the important sources which have historically played a significant role in positively or negatively reporting, describing, and representing the impact of 22

policies, such as travel bans, on refugees and providing an understanding about the issues. As it has been established previously, the government’s approach/tone toward refugee groups can shape society’s perceptions of refugees; however, the media have also been a key factor in helping to shape public perceptions. Lang and Lang (1966) argue that majority of the information people learn about the politics comes from two sources, either media (“second hand sources”) or other people (“third hand sources”) (Perez, 2017, p.

172). More broadly, as past studies show, the media are powerful message carriers who influence, engage, and lead society’s understanding, provide explanations, highlight some ideas over the others, and change the trajectory of public opinion regarding a concept

(Lamertz & Baum, 1998; Pollock & Rindova, 2003). According to Steimel (2009), the

U.S. media and their news coverage on the refugees “will likely impact not only how refugees and their roles are defined in American society, but will likely impact public discourses on immigration and refugee policy, the development and availability of social programs for refugees, and to a large extent, the very social climate refugees face in their everyday lives” (p. 56). So, throughout the years the media, as dominant national communicators, have had the power to shape, change, reinforce, and/or perpetuate the society’s opinion about different topics (Wright, 2010). Depending on the kind of approach that they use, they can easily impact people’s perspective and attitude toward refugees.

Unfortunately, historically, media outlets have not always been successful in portraying an unbiased and complete picture of who refugees are and what their lives have been/are like. According to Steimel (2009), the news coverage predominantly 23

portrays refugees as either frauds or victims. Refugees are perceived as frauds when the host society might believe them to be the group who can cause instability, take away jobs, commit crimes, and bring many negative aspects to their society (Brader et al.,

2008; Steimel, 2009). Refugees are perceived as victims when they are portrayed as helpless outsiders who can only be saved and protected by the U.S. and other western countries (Robins, 2003). Additionally, according to Steimel’s (2009) findings regarding

Nebraska news outlets’ coverage of refugees, Muslim refugees are perceived as least preferred individuals in the U.S. by the residents of that state. Moreover, in another study on analyzing the discourse related to immigrants and refugees found in an influential midwestern community newspaper, The Forum, Thweatt (2005) discovered that new

Americans, as he termed them, were perceived negatively (with respect to their characters, manners, cultures, and values), which further perpetuated the stereotypes and prejudices regarding these groups (p. 1). In another study by Esses et al. (2013), scholars discussed how media exploit and perpetuate the uncertainty surrounding refugees and portray them as significant threats to the host country and falsely argue “that refugee claimants are often bogus, and that terrorists may gain entry to western nations disguised as refugees” (p. 518). Additionally, through their negative representation, the western media have dehumanized refugees and further increased people’s fear and resentment toward them (Al-Thani, 2018; El Refaie, 2001; Esses et al., 2013; Henry & Tator, 2002).

News outlets often tailor their coverage to suit the political leanings of their audience. For instance, according to Pew Research Center, the top choice media outlets for liberals are the New Yorker, Slate, or MSNBC, while broadcast stations such as CNN, 24

ABC, NBC, CBS are considered more in-between, and Fox attracts more political right and conservative audiences (Blake, 2014). Unsurprisingly, each of these outlets frames the coverage of the same new story to appeal to their target audience; for instance, with

CNN reporting on refugee crisis with headlines such as “Reporter: They’re refugees, not illegal immigrants” (Santana, 2018) and Fox News reporting on the same topic with headlines such as “Refugee admission lowest in recent years thanks to Trump immigration crackdown” (Mikelionis, 2018). In the aforementioned stories, the left- leaning news outlet took a more positive and supportive stance towards refugee and refugees’ rights, whereas the right-leaning news outlet focused on eliminating immigration. Throughout the years, there have been emerging media platforms who have contributed to the positive portrayals of refugees.

The dominant beliefs established and reinforced by those in power, whether the government or the media, can have significant impact on what people take away from different sources of information (Steimel, 2009; van Dijk, 1991). Especially when people in this fast-paced society mostly read the headlines to get a quick understanding of the story, the role of the news media and those who decide the discourse surrounding different topics becomes very crucial (Ecker & Lewandowsky; 2014). In the past fifteen years, podcasts have been one of the most popular and influential mediums that have been invented and kept up with the fast-paced lifestyle of the society and have provided useful information and significant narratives (Quah, 2017). The reason behind the growth of podcasts is because “it’s perfect for on-demand, content binge consumption… and customized/personal curation” which gives the consumer the chance to choose what and 25

who they want to listen to and when (Greenwald, 2018, par. 5). According to Peiser

(2019), in 2019, 50% of people in the U.S. have tuned into one podcast ever, and each month around 30% of Americans tune into minimum of one podcast. So, a significant number of people are trusting and relying on this platform and are dedicating their time and schedule to learn about the latest updates and stories in various genres and topics such as music, comedy, technology, investigative, economy, and political issues

(Goldstein, 2017).

Particularly, in the past few years some of the podcasts which are dedicated to topics of politics, social issues, and news have successfully managed to keep up with the latest ongoing issues in the country and provide an in-depth yet simple coverage and narrative of those. Topics of immigration and refugees are among some of the most talked about issues in the current social and political climate of the U.S. and there so many podcasts which cover stories related to those topics (Matt, 2017). Podcasts such as

The Daily by The New York Times, USA Today- “The Wall”, NPR, The Guardian,

Refugees Stories, 99% Invisible, Undone, and so many more strive to share narratives, struggles, challenges and stories of refugees and the refugee crisis in general (Matt,

2017). Content creators in these specific genres have been able to contribute greatly to the better understanding of the refugees and their stories. Podcasts have become valuable sources that offer a different voice outside of the mainstream media. The narrative approach of most podcasts allows for more in-depth easy-to-follow storytelling and the chance for better understanding and empathy toward refugees, their stories, experiences,

and hardships. These positive representations have been particularly valuable since refugees of certain ethnicities and religions have been treated unfairly for years.

The Role of Religion in U.S. Treatment of Refugees

Historically there has been a direct relationship between religion and refugees in the U.S. In the early 1600s Pilgrims and Puritans of New England had to flee England and religious persecution and sought refuge in the U.S. (Butler et al., 2008). Also, during the colonial era, Catholics, such as refugees from France and Spain, constantly faced hostility and hatred from Anglo-Americans (Butler et al., 2008; Davis, 2010). In the years following World War II, American Jewish groups advocating for Holocaust survivors created a campaign to increase awareness about the experiences and difficulties that refugees from European countries were facing (Loescher & Scanlan, 1986). These advocacy groups published and promoted news stories and commercials that shed light on the hardship of Jewish and non-Jewish refugees (Loescher & Scanlan, 1986). So, throughout U.S. history, different communities, groups, and religions have experienced various forms of challenges and discrimination along the way.

In the past 10 years the refugee crisis has become incomparable with previous migrations especially considering the number of people who are crossing borders and seeking refuge in other countries. In particular, a majority of refugees who have resettled in the U.S. in the past few years have been refugees from Syria and other Muslim- majority countries. When we look back at U.S. history, one of the major unfortunate introduction of American people to the Islam and Muslims in a more national and personal level were the tragic 9/11 attacks. Since then, considering the U.S government’s 27

actions and the role of media, the attitude of the American public toward Muslims and

Islam has worsened, seeing a rise in incidents of anti-Muslim hate crime and discrimination, which the past research refers to this fear or dislike of Muslims/Islam as

Islamophobia (Abu-Raiya et al., 2011; Khan & Ecklund, 2012; Sheridan, 2006). When it comes to refugees, in the absence of past personal experience, individuals choose to rely on the only sources available, mostly the government and the media, as well as others such as advocacy groups, to shape and/or confirm their understanding about refugees, despite and considering the historical religious approach.

Advocacy Groups

Throughout U.S. history there have been independent sources who have attempted to have impact on the acceptance, treatment, and perception of refugees, regardless of the propaganda of government and the media: advocacy groups. Advocacy groups work tirelessly and passionately to improve the lives and livelihoods of refugees nationally and internationally. As it was discussed in the previous section, one of the fascinating aspects that Loescher and Scanlan (1986) point out regarding refugee politics is the role and power of partners, advocates, and coalitions who can directly reinforce refugees’ acceptance and resettlement in the host country.

However, Loescher and Scanlan’s (1986) analysis focused on American Jewish refugees in a post-WWII world. Striking differences in social attitudes toward refugees— particularly through the lens of religion—surface in national attitudes towards refugees.

In the face of extreme prejudice against Muslims (Ahmad & Matthes, 2017; Aydin &

Hammer, 2010), I argue that refugee-advocacy groups, coalitions, and advocate who fight 28

and advocate for Muslim refugees are not able to have the same powerful impact on the

U.S. government and American people, compared to what American Jews were able to do in 1940s.

As discussed in the previous section and considering the Americans’ negative experiences and misconceptions, Muslim refugees might not receive the same chance as other religions. Before the 9/11 attacks and during the past 19 years there have been organizations, coalitions, groups, and institutions who try to provide a better understanding of Islam and Muslims and amend the past misunderstandings/experiences of Muslims and Americans. However, due to the continuous negative representation of

Muslims in the media there are still doubts, misconceptions, and stereotypes held by some Americans about Islam and its followers (Ahmed & Matthes, 2017; Aydin &

Hammer, 2010). And due to this same reason, I argue that refugee-advocacy groups, coalitions, and advocate who fight and advocate for Muslim refugees are not able to have the same powerful impact on the U.S. government and American people, compared to what American Jews were able to do in 1940s. When there have been such tragic memories and negative perceptions associated with such a group/institution, it likely takes a longer time for the Americans to fully get on board with the idea of having more

Muslim refugees in their country.

The government and the media as the main sources, alongside other actors such as advocacy groups, are the groups who have the power to present information to people in frames and angles that can easily shape people’s perception (Alencar, 2018; Brader et al.,

2008; Perez, 2017). When these sources neglect their responsibility and present the 29

information in a way that can easily negatively skew people’s opinion about something, then they determine the way that culture thinks and feels about a phenomenon in that time or in future, which can bring its own negative consequences.

Understanding the historical background of how refugees have been treated in the

U.S., as well as some of the cultural and political factors that have shaped social perception, is key to understanding the current context in which American refugees find themselves. The dominant attitude of that society toward refugee populations—be it realistic or stereotypical—can shape the way that the country feels about the acceptance and resettlement of refugees in their country. I would then argue that this will manifest itself as a recurrent process where the attitude of the society, which was initially impacted by the media coverage and the government’s discourse, will influence the future approach of that country toward such refugee crisis/acceptance. Considering today’s misunderstanding of refugees, particularly Muslim refugees, I argue there is a dire need to provide a better and more authentic representation of the everyday lives of refugees, painting them as real human beings and shining light on their stories and hardships.

Therefore, in the upcoming chapters I will describe what and how, through this research particularly, I am hoping to achieve in order to shine a better light on refugees’ stories and experiences.

Chapter Summary

In this chapter, I first provided the definition of refugees and the reason behind the focus of this study on refugees as opposed to immigrants or asylum seekers. I also discussed the historial approach of U.S. government regarding refugee policies and 30

treatment and media portrayals of refugees throughout the years. Additionally, I examine the impact of religion— particularly refugees’ religion—on refugees’ treatment and acceptance in the societies such as the U.S. Finally, I discussed the key role of advocacy groups and their work throughout the U.S. history.

Chapter 3: Literature Review

Chapter Overview

In this chapter, I review the existing literature on refugees’ experiences throughout their preflight, flight, and resettlement journey. I first draw attention to refugee experiences in different disciplines and identify existing gaps within those literatures, namely refugees’ new cultural everyday routines and their challenges. Next, I speak to the literature regarding ongoing and potential labels and stigmas that refugees, particularly female refugees, experience as they seek to adapt to their everyday routines in the new culture. Then, I delve into the literature on NGOs’ role in refugees’ resettlement journey in the new culture, the nature and level of social support they provide to refugees, their relationship and its challenges, and the impact of social media on their advocacy work.

Refugees

Despite the growing influence of advocacy groups and alternative media like podcasts, the discourses that are presented about refugees by those in power, such as government and media, do not usually do justice to who refugees are and how they should be perceived and treated. Therefore, it is important to take a closer look at how refugees are represented and discussed through other sources, such as academic literature, and understand how and through what lenses different disciplines have attempted to provide a better understanding of this population.

Different disciplines have examined and discussed various topics related to refugees, their lives, stories, experiences, and life before and after resettlement. For 32

instance, scholars in the political science field have studied refugees in contexts such as investigating the cause of flight (e.g., Adhikari, 2012; Balcells & Steele, 2016), or the politics and law surrounding refugees and citizenship (e.g., Nyers & Kim, 2012; Suhrke,

2012), or ramifications of national and international conflict on refugees (e.g., Lischer,

2015; Zolberg et al., 1989). Psychology studies have focused on examining the impact of forced migration on the mental health, psychological stress, trauma, and coping mechanisms of adult refugees and (e.g., Ingleby, 2005; Lambert & Alhassoon, 2015; Li et al., 2016; Yuval et al., 2017), children refugees (e.g., Fazel, 2018; Mace et al., 2014;

Measham et al., 2014), or refugees’ acculturation and psychological adjustment throughout the resettlement phase (e.g., Birman et al., 2014; Salo & Birman, 2015).

Additionally, researchers in fields such as linguistics have examined various topics such as adult and children refugee literacy and second language acquisition and challenges

(e.g., Baker et al., 2018; Bal, 2014; Gilhooly & Lee, 2014; He et al., 2017; Hos, 2016;

Roof, 2017), or challenges and concerns regarding the use of “language testing” on refugees (e.g., Campbell, 2013; Eades et al., 2003; Patrick, 2016; Watt, 2014). Moreover, historians have provided a review and examination of countries’ approach and policies toward refugee acceptance in various points in history (e.g Frank & Reinisch, 2014;

Marinari, 2014; Zucker & Zucker, 1992).

More specifically, when it comes to the communication studies discipline, different elements of refugee lives and stories have been examined through various perspectives. For instance, scholars interested in ethnography, cultural, and performance studies have provided a better understanding of refugees, their cultures, rituals, stories, 33

and challenges throughout the resettlement process as well as in the new home (e.g.,

Balfour, 2013; Binder & Tosic, 2005; Conquergood, 1988; Malkki, 2012; Run, 2012;

Sleijpen et al., 2016). More specifically, Conquergood (1988) was one of the pioneer scholars who through the lens of performance and theatrical studies examined and represented refugees’ stories and cultures through the art of storytelling. Through collaboration with International Rescue Committee (IRC) in Thailand, Conquergood established and led a “health education campaign based on native beliefs and values and communicated in culturally appropriate forms” in order “to develop critical awareness about the health problems in Bann Vinai” (Conquergood, 1988, p. 176). While some communication studies scholars have focused on the rhetorical and visual representation of refugees in the traditional media outlets (e.g., Dykstra, 2016; Gok & Cifci, 2017;

Steimel, 2010; Sutherland & Dykstra-DeVette, 2018), others have examined the representation and discourse surrounding this population in the social media platforms such as Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter (e.g., Gualda & Rebollo, 2016; Guidry, et al, ,

2018). For instance, Dykstra (2016), through rhetorical analysis of refugees portrayals in mainstream media, found “three distinct lines within the western media assemblage of the

Syrian refugee that represent displaced people 1) as a dangerous burden, 2) as disaster and humanitarian raison d’etre and 3) as humanitarian subject” (p. 31). Through this analysis, Dykstra established how contradictory representations further perpetuate uncertainty and misconceptions surrounding refugees.

Additionally, many other scholars in this field have dedicated their attention to studying the practices, discourses, and approaches of NGOs and resettlement agencies in 34

regards to refugees and the challenges within that relationship (e.g., Dykstra-DeVette &

Canary, 2018; Dykstra-DeVette, 2018; Steimel, 2011, 2017). For instance, Dykstra-

DeVette and Canary (2018) conducted an ethnography to examine the possible tensions that can arise as NGOs try to help refugees and empower them. These authors conducted observation and interviews with the volunteers and staff of this NGO and used descriptive coding (Lindolf & Taylor, 2002) to analyze their data, finding that discussions surrounding empowerment usually are in three areas: “economic empowerment, community empowerment, and technological empowerment” which depending on the level of involvement of the NGO/staff can cause its own challenges and tensions

(Dykstra-DeVette & Canary, 2018, p. 14). Steimel (2011) similarly studied the tensions between the refugees and NGO staff, but used “comparative case study research, as a subset of interpretive-critical theory building” to examine the complicated relationship of these two groups (p.62). Steimel found that refugees misunderstood the volunteers/staff workers as experts in various cultural, political, economic areas and in situations where the staff did not know or were not able to provide all the information, tension and frustration would rise between the two groups.

Moreover, some scholars have provided a better understanding of stories and narrative of refugees from their own perspective (e.g., Docan-Morgan et al., 2019;

Nashwan et al., 2017; Steimel, 2011). In this realm, for instance, Docan-Morgan et al.

(2019) examined the memoirs and narratives of North Korean refugees to provide a better understanding of these refugees’ stories, hardship, and lives regardless of what the North

Korean regime was trying to falsely portray. Through applying thematic analysis, the 35

authors tried to find similarities and differences among the refugees’ narratives. Other scholars have further focused on suggesting a set of report and guidelines for those working with refugees so they can provide a better services and advocacy work (Smith,

2009, 2012).

Study of Everyday Routines

Despite so many studies presented in various perspectives within the communication studies discipline, there is a still a significant gap in studying the cultural and communicative aspects of refugee experiences. One of those areas which can be studied more in-depth is understanding the everyday experiences, challenges, lessons, and cultural shocks of refugees throughout the early phases of their resettlement.

Focusing on studying the everyday life of people is important because “everyday life contains within it more significance than we might think” (Smith, 2001, p. 2)—the activities and routines of our every day, while similarly done by many, tell a story of how individuals operate and live their lives. From the moment we wake up, the activities we do, perform, start, finish, avoid, and even challenge in various settings and spaces guide and shape our everyday life. As Highmore (2010) argues, the everyday is “a dynamic process; for making the unfamiliar familiar; for getting accustomed to the disruption of custom; for struggling to incorporate the new; for adjusting to different ways of living.

The everyday marks the success and failure of this process” (p. 2). On a daily basis, we do certain things in particular ways, particular times, and particular places, and consequently create our cycle of routines (Scott, 2009). Additionally, these activities and practices that people follow and perform become valuable indicators of their identity and 36

“the sorts of everyday routines and activities they engage in depends on their social position” (Smith, 2001, p. 3). So, through these everyday routines, people represent who they are, to which groups they belong, what they like/do not like, prefer/not prefer, and so many other characteristics.

The regular everyday routines and activities of individuals then create and set their “social life” (Scott, 2009, p. 2), and the seemingly mundane and repetitive series of everyday routines indicate a pattern or system which is usually shared by a collective, that is considered a society or culture (Inglis, 2005; Longhurst, 2007). So, while there are so many personal routines that people do individually and independently (i.e., going to the bathroom, eating, brushing teeth, etc.), there are also so many other routines that make sense or happen within the interaction of people with one another, as their individual daily activities intersect (i.e., ordering food, engaging in work, taking public transportation) (Scott, 2009). As Inglis (2005) argues, it is then important to examine the connection between individuals’ everyday activities and the society in which they are part of, because “no human society can exist without the people within it having certain ideas, values, norms, beliefs and ways of thinking” (p. 3). The way individuals perform their daily routines is rooted in the ideas, customs, beliefs, traditions, and in general the culture of the society that they were brought up in and are accustomed to (Inglis, 2005). These daily routines can become especially salient when they happen in a world or culture outside of one’s own familiar surroundings.

When people of different cultural backgrounds are put into a new cultural context, they might notice that their understanding and performance of everyday routines is 37

dissimilar to individuals of that culture. As Inglis (2005) explains, “Humans too all across the world do the same kinds of things—eat, sleep, defecate, make love and so on. But the specific ways in which they do those things, and the manners in which they think about those things, vary from one society to another and from one cultural context to another”

(p. 4). These everyday actions are central to an individual’s identity and culture, and when they are faced with the challenges of a new life in a new place, this identity is challenged as well. As such, deeper research on how these everyday experiences shape and are shaped by the early days of resettlement is vital.

The culture of each society affects the perspective and behavior of its people, which in turn influence the way they evaluate and judge other people’s behavior in case it is different from theirs. That judgment can be both positive or negative: it can be positive when their cultures and values overlap which reassures people that they have more commonalities with “the other” group and they understand each other (Inglis, 2005; Shaw

& Wainryb, 1999). It can be negative, though, when they notice that they do not share that much in common and have significant differences in their beliefs and behaviors

(Inglis, 2005; Shaw & Wainryb, 1999). This situation can be a lot more intense and problematic when the “other” group is a minority or underrepresented group within a dominant culture.

In settings where the dominant groups judge the minority groups based on their own cultural norms and standards—also referred to as ethnocentrism—the minority groups usually do not get the chance to be fairly and fully represented (Aldrich &

Kasuku, 2012; Bizumic et al., 2009). Such a perspective by the dominant group usually 38

results in creation of false stereotypes and labels about the non-dominant group (Aldrich

& Kasuku, 2012). Those labels and stereotypes can then become rigid walls that prevents people from really connecting and understanding each other.

Labeling Theory and Stigma

Two concepts are helpful in understanding the impact of use of frames and labels to define groups: labeling theory (Scheff, 1971) and stigma (Goffman, 1963).

Traditionally, labeling theory asserts that an individual’s behavior is determined or influenced by the way the society expects them to behave (Scheff, 1971). And, according to Becker (1963), “social groups create deviance by making the rules whose infraction constitutes deviance, and by applying those rules to particular people and labeling them as outsiders” (p. 9). In other words, terms are created by the dominant group to describe and categorize individuals who belong to the non-dominant group; those terms or labels are usually negative (Link et al., 1989; Scheff, 1971). More importantly, one important element that Scheff (1984) explained about labeling theory was the fact that many scholars (e.g. Gove, 1970, 1980, 1982; Lehmann et al., 1976; Weinstein, 1983) have criticized the theory. These authors have argued that labeling does not stigmatize individuals with mental illness or, more importantly, perpetuate stereotypes. However, through his research, Scheff (1984) has argued that it is crucial to consider the

“emotional/relational world” when discussing the labeling theory and to examine the impact of these labels, stereotypes, and stigma surrounding different groups (p. xi).

Ideologies and labels created by dominant actors can significantly impact the attitude

toward, acceptance of, and overall treatment of not just mentally-ill patients, but also other marginalized populations in society, such as refugees.

In the continuation of the work of Scheff (1984), Link et al. (1989) introduced their own version of labeling theory known as “modified labeling theory,” through which they argue that it is important to “focus on the consequences of the labeling” which include but are not limited to “devaluation and discrimination” against the labeled individuals (p. 402). For instance, while on the surface it might seem or rather be justified that labels help to categorize and differentiate different groups within displaced populations in any political or government system, Stachel (2009) argues that those labels in fact indicate “the processes of stereotyping, the construction of differences, and the possible impact they have on the people who are labelled” (p. 15). Moreover, as Zetter

(1985) explains, labels are significant tools which are used to establish and reinforce differences (between in-group and outgroup) which can lead to stigma.

Stigmas about different groups only perpetuate misconceptions and false judgement about those groups. According to Goffman (1963), stigma is a “deeply discrediting” concept that is “a special kind of relationship between attribute and stereotypes” (pp. 3-4). The stigmatized individual is perceived as less than and overlooked unusual person. Goffman (1963) explains that in order to get a better understanding of our assumptions and stigma it is important to look at the relation of virtual social identity and actual social identity. Virtual social identity refers to people’s perceptions, assumptions, characterization about that individual/group while the actual social identity refers to the actual attributes and characteristics which are true about the 40

individual/group (Goffman, 1963; Yang et al, 2006). Previous research (e.g., Corrigan &

Watson, 2002; Kleinman & Hall-Clifford, 2009; Koschorke et al., 2017; Ottati et al.,

2005) has established the impact of stigma on people and the way it subjects them to

“situational threat”, discrimination, stereotypes, and prejudice in different interpersonal and societal contexts (Yang et al., 2006, p. 1526). Perpetuation of stigma about groups and individuals not only do not truly and justly represent them but also isolates the stigmatized groups and put their everyday lives in danger.

Stigma and labels even become more problematic and unfair when they are falsely used to refer to marginalized and misrepresented groups about which a society does not have much correct information and understanding. For instance, when we narrow our focus on the labels and stigma surrounding displaced individuals, such as refugees, we gain a better understanding of how preconceived ideas can cloud people’s understanding of who refugees really are and how they want to be presented. More specifically, labels are a way of ascribing otherness; the use of words like “refugee” or

“immigrant” signifies that the individual is not a “real” member of that society, setting up an us/them dichotomy that could ultimately lead to discrimination (Bannreji, 2000;

Stachel, 2009). Goffman (1963) argues that labels and stigmas affect people’s perceptions and attitudes toward stigmatized individuals, and he explains in that case “we believe the person with stigma is not quite human. On this assumption we exercise varieties of discrimination, through which we effectively, if often unthinkingly, reduce his life chances” (p. 5). When refugees are described and known through labels they are then understood through stereotypes and negative assumptions which not only do not 41

represent them and their stories but also further stigmatize and marginalize them within a society (Zetter, 1985; Zetter 1991).

Refugees who have been forced to flee their country still carry their own unique cultural norms, beliefs, and attitudes which naturally manifest in their everyday routines and activities as they are resettling in the new home/country. As previously mentioned, when people of the host country (who have their own specific cultural norms and beliefs and have been used to certain way of everyday routines) encounter these differences, they are not able to fully understand the different activities and behaviors of the other group

(refugees) (Inglis, 2005; Shaw & Wainryb, 1999). In fact, both parties—people of the host country and the refugees—have difficulty understanding how and in what ways the others navigate, think, and perform in the society. Refugees then might be confused about or resistant toward why and how certain routines and cultural norms are the way they are and why everyone should follow those, for fear of losing their own cultural- and self- identity (Dykstra-DeVetter & Canary, 2018; Gupta & Ferguson, 2001; Peteet, 2000). On the other hand, the people of the host country might not be able to fully grasp why the refugees are not performing certain routines and activities as they ‘should’ be or not

‘assimilating’ to the cultural norms and routines of the host country (Dykstra-DeVetter &

Canary, 2018; Vasta, 2007).

In such situations, the dominant/powerful social group might start to develop and disseminate new perceptions and labels about the other group. As refugees are resettling and adjusting to the new culture and at the same time surviving the already established misconceptions, they may now have to fight against the newly developed negative labels 42

and assumptions (Chimni, 2000; Vigil & Baillie Abidi, 2018). And that process can become even more challenging when the government and the media of the host country continue to feed the stigmatizing labels about refugees. This ongoing fight against labels and misconceptions can be particularly difficult for refugees because they experience so much hardship throughout the preflight and flight journey and when they start to resettle in the new country their challenges and “turmoil does not necessarily end on arrival in a country where they are granted protection” (Docan-Morgan et al., 2019, p. 995). Rather, they face new set of complicated everyday hardships and challenges that they have to navigate as they are trying to find their identity within the new culture without losing sight of their own.

Refugees do not leave behind the impact of challenges and hardships they went through in their country or refugee camps; in fact, they carry those with them as they set foot in their second home. As Nashwan et al. (2017) explain, “the stressors faced by refugees before leaving their home country and upon relocation are myriad” (p. 2). The hardship that they have faced back home, such as going through war and violence, losing social ties, living in refugee camps, not knowing about future stability, and so many other challenges throughout the journey cause significant trauma for refugees (Wilson,

Murtaza, & Shakya, 2010). Moreover, the difficulty that refugees face throughout the early phases of resettlement on a daily basis intensify their stress and trauma. Issues such as cultural and religious discrimination, racism, language barriers, illiteracy, PTSD, ongoing traumas, and discriminatory labels which come with those, are among the many stressors with which refugees have to deal once they arrive in the new country (Correa- 43

Velez et al., 2010; Hutchinson & Dorsett, 2012; Nashwan et al., 2017; Salari, 2002;

Terrazas, 2009). Within the refugee population one of the specific groups who is marginalized and face much more difficulties are female refugees.

Female Refugees and Labels

Female refugees are among the most vulnerable groups. Statistically, women and girls comprise 50 percent of all refugee populations (UNHCR, n.d.). However, as

Spijkerboer (2017) explains, “although female refugee women are as old a phenomenon as refugee men, they did not receive much attention until two decades ago” (p. 1). And it was only in 1980s that the academics and NGOs started to point out and criticize the “the gender blindness of refugee law” which significantly influenced how women were/were not considered and advocated for (p. 5). Female refugees are a significant group to focus on, because in addition to the challenges that every male refugee faces throughout their journey, they experience a lot more (Smith, 2009, 2012). For instance, more than 80% of

Syrian female refugees have expressed that they constantly live with the fear of violence and aggression (Council on Foreign Relations, 2017). Many female refugees have experienced violence, rape, and attack throughout their journey to and in the refugee camps (Afifi et al., 2013; Council on Foreign Relations, 2017). Further, lack of access to proper sanitation and medical facilities are part of the major challenges for female refugees throughout their journey (Denton, 2013; Pujol-Mazzini). In the last few years, due to political unrest and insecurity, cultural discrimination, and violence, women of different regions such as East and West Africa and Middle East saw no choice but to flee their countries and seek refuge somewhere else (Burnett & Peel, 2001; Mixed Migration 44

Centre, 2018; UNHCR, n.d.). Particularly, when it comes to female refugees from

Afghanistan the dominant reasons behind their migration are social issues, political instability, ethnic conflicts, and the most significant one domestic violence (Mixed

Migration Centre, 2018). In this study I will focus on the refugees from Afghanistan, and more specifically the female Afghan refugees, who due to geopolitical, ethnic, and gender-based violence have endured and survived hardship and traumatizing experiences which have left them no choice but to flee their country—but face new challenges in navigating their everyday lives in the U.S.

Afghanistan’s Refugees

Throughout the past decades, Afghan refugees have faced variety of challenges and hardships within their own county due to myriad reasons. In order to have a better understanding of Afghan experiences as refugees, it is important to contextualize their experiences by taking a step back and examining the larger geopolitical situation, ethnic and religious diversity, and forced migration of recent history.

Geopolitical Situation. Throughout its history, Afghanistan has faced and dealt with many foreign invasions, wars, and terrorist groups. Due to the geographical position of this country its government have not always been successful in maintaining the country’s security and national safety (Smith, 2008; Wahab & Youngermen, 2007). From colonization of Britain, the communist coup, invasion of Soviets, and control of mujahideen, to the emergence of groups such as Al-Qaida and Taliban, and involvement of U.S. government, Afghanistan and its people have experienced violence, hardship, and discrimination for decades (Smith, 2008; Wahab & Youngermen, 2007). Each of these 45

monumental “conflicts and social disparities” have greatly affected and still affect

Afghanistan resulting in making it one of the most vulnerable places in the world in the

21st century (Reunion, 2017, p. XIII).

Ethnic Diversity and Religious Influence. Among the variety of consequences, these invasions have resulted in creation of different ethnic and cultural tribes and groups with around 40 different languages and dialects (Lindgren & Lipsen, 2004; Nojumi,

2002; Smith, 2008). Pashto and Dari (dialect of Farsi) are the two major languages of

Afghanistan. In terms of religion, 90% of people of Afghanistan follow Islam, which within that group 80-85% are Sunni Muslim and 15-20% are Shia Muslims (Library of

Congress, 2008). So, while in the current Afghanistan there are diverse groups and tribes who live together in one country, the significant differences among them have also led to major religious, ethnic, and tribal conflicts within the country (Goodson, 2001; Smith,

2008; Wahab & Youngerman, 2007).

Forced Migration. These invasions and ongoing conflicts within Afghanistan have forced many Afghans to flee their country. More specifically, many minority groups, marginalized populations, or any group who felt threatened have fled the country, stayed in refugee camps, and many sought refuge in the neighboring and western countries (Wahab & Yongersman, 2007). From 1980 to 2014, Afghanistan was the

dominant country with the highest number of people who fled their country and sought refuge in a new country (Brown, 2018).

Everyday life of Afghan Female Refugees

Decades of war and conflict have led Afghans to leave their country behind and forced them to rebuild their life in a new country. Among the Afghan refugees, Afghan women are among the most vulnerable and traumatized groups who had no choice but to flee dangerous and oppressing cultural, tribal, and religious situations (Brown, 2018).

Afghan refugee women flee their country and those difficult and dangerous settings with the hope to build a safer and more secure life in a new place. For many of the refugees, with such experiences and traumas, the journey to fully settle in the new culture and become independent is a long process with many ups and downs. Female Afghan refugees experience a lot more challenges considering the society that they come from.

As Smith (2012) explains, Afghan women come from tribal, authoritarian, patriarchal family structures which tell them what they can/should do or not. Although these

“women fulfill important societal roles as the main socializers, nurturers, and caretakers of children,” they face difficulties when they realize they must adapt new roles and identities as they are resettling in the new culture (Smith, 2009, p. 12). Those new roles and identities can range from becoming the main breadwinner of the family, protector of the family, decision-maker of the family, and so many other roles that they never had to do or even worry about (Smith, 2009). In addition to adjusting to these new roles, Afghan female refugees also deal with frustration of language barriers, anxiety, depression,

PTSD, racism, and religious discrimination (Brown, 2018; Iqbal et al., 2012; Morris et 47

al., 2009; Renner & Salem, 2009; Steimel, 2011). More specifically, female refugees such as Afghan people, who come from Muslim-majority countries, are Muslims, and specifically those who wear hijab, burka, or other forms of covering which make them identifiable, are unfortunately more vulnerable to receiving discrimination, hate, and mistreatment within the new culture (Connor et al., 2016; Williams & Vashi, 2007).

These new cultural realities and roles and the challenges that come with them both characterize and affect the daily routine of refugees.

In the new country refugees are expected to take on so many new culturally defined set of norms, tasks, and routines and if they do not adapt to them, then the people of the host country might criticize that or find it intolerable (Shaw & Wainryb, 1999).

Understanding and getting used to such new tasks and daily routines in a new culture can be a long process for many refugees, as they are used to their own cultural, informational, and decision-making system, and are thus not able to adapt to in a short span of time

(Smith, 2012). However, those differences in cultural norms and routines can lead to creation of more stigma and labels by the people of the host country, as they mostly judge others by their own cultural references and standards (Shaw & Wainryb, 1999).

When the labels and overall discourses which are used to describe refugees in negative and politicized ways are perpetuated, refugees themselves become one of the active actors who can play significant roles in fighting against those labels and misrepresentation. However, unfortunately, refugees have not been given that many chances to share their stories and everyday experiences from their own perspective.

According to Holloway and Freshwater (2007), it is crucial that “vulnerable people” get 48

to tell their own stories because it not only allow “individuals to come to terms with their vulnerability, …take control, and subsequently feel empowered” but it also gives other people the chance to become familiar with the unique stories, experiences, and hardships of those individuals from their own perspectives (p. 704). For instance, Dyck and

McLaren (2004) interviewed 17 women (16 immigrants and one refugee) resettled in

Vancouver, Canada in order to gain a better understanding of the way these women navigate through social, cultural, economic environment within their new home country.

These authors found that these women got to “reconstruct” themselves through storytelling and also contributed to our understanding of female immigrant identity (Dyck &

McLaren, 2004).

Additionally, the research conducted by Dyck and McLaren (2004) is a good example of the way we can fight against prejudice and/or discrimination toward marginalized populations, such as refugees, by simply allowing them to tell their own story throughout the early phases of resettlement. So, through this research I aim to shine more light on unique and complex experiences of refugees by providing the chance to share them personally themselves. Often, whether through government, scholarly research, or news, we hear about refugees’ stories as facts and figures and miss the significant and powerful personal stories. Through this research I aim to provide a chance for refugees to share their experiences and challenges of resettling in a new culture and learning and dealing with new different cultural norms, responsibilities, and daily routines which might be different from what they grew up with and are used to. As such, the first research question I will explore is: 49

RQ1: How do Afghan female refugees describe their ordinary experiences and everyday routines during the early transitional period living in the United States?

Refugees are a potentially highly stigmatized group and the labels and stigmas that are placed on them result from deviations from the host culture’s “norms” in everyday actions. And discussed in the previous chapter, because of those stigmas and misrepresentations, refugees have had to endure many hardships within U.S. society throughout the history. Within such contexts and considering the hardships, refugees are naturally forced to adapt to new ways while not losing sight of their own cultural identity—but for female refugees, specifically, many are forced to take on new and unfamiliar roles that completely reshape their everyday, quotidian lives. Throughout this process of learning, adjusting, and adapting there are important entities who can help refugees overcome the challenges, learn the new rules and roles, and resettle easier in the host culture. Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) are one of the most valuable actors who play a crucial role in refugees’ lives throughout their resettlement process. In the following sections I will explore their role and impact on refugees’ lives.

Non-Governmental Organizations

Non-governmental organizations, often referred to as NGOs, have the power and resources to advocate for different causes, groups, communities, and populations in various ways by starting campaigns, raising awareness and funds, negotiating with state and government officials, and campaigning through their traditional and online platforms.

More specifically, refugee-advocacy NGOs can highlight refugees’ issues, concerns, and stories, fight against the negative political and social perception, ease the refugees’ 50

resettlement process, and empower these individuals. On the other hand, although NGOs might have good intentions, they might fail to represent the true voices of the refugees

(Dykstra-DeVette, 2018). In the following sections, I will discuss the nature and roles of

NGOs—more specifically, refugee-advocacy NGOs—and will then move to discussing

NGOs’ online advocacy work.

Non-Governmental Organizations, Defined

Originally, the concept of non-governmental organization (NGOs) was used when referring to sectors formed under the umbrella of the United Nations (Martens, 2002;

Willetts; 2002). However, since the 1980s, NGOs have been recognized as “societal actors” who are working nationally and globally and are supported and valued by activists and academics across different fields (Martens, 2002, p. 271; Willetts, 2002).

NGOs are institutions which are created by individuals who aim to work independently from governmental agencies and achieve goals that will benefit the society. According to Martens (2002), “NGOs are formal (professionalized) independent societal organizations whose primary aim is to promote common goals at the national or the international level” (p. 282). These organizations are formed when individuals come together and create a group with the purpose of achieving something (Frantz, 1987). And as Frantz (1987) argues, the goals of NGOs are “related to the problems of development, that is, to problems surrounding the economic, social, and cultural order of a country or region” (p. 122). One of the basic elements that NGOs have in common is that they specifically attempt to operate independently from the government and therefore

naturally/consequently have the agency to affect the socioeconomic and cultural dimensions of the country which they operate in (Frantz, 1987).

While NGOs share some core elements, they differ based on four fundamental ideas: affiliation, objectives, methods (of action), and internal structure (Frantz, 1987).

When it comes to affiliation, some NGOs are fully independent while others might have levels of partnership with religious or entrepreneurship institutions (Frantz, 1987). In terms of objectives, considering their approach toward development, these institutions can have different agendas from tackling a society’s problem directly, to having more charity-driven efforts, or directly influencing the political sector of the society (Frantz,

1987). Different NGOs have various methods of action: some might be more hands-on as they advocate and fight “on behalf of the target groups, while others prefer to support local agents” (Frantz, 1987, p. 122), And lastly, internal structure indicates that some

NGOs might be more formal and hierarchical, having staff who get paid, while others might be simpler and more informal having volunteers and activists who do it for the cause and out of passion (Frantz, 1987). So, the work, mission, and contribution of NGOs to the society are shaped by how they are fundamentally structured based on these four elements.

NGOs serve and advocate for different people, groups, or populations and strive to improve their lives and impact the society. One of the important unrepresented groups

who are supported and advocated for throughout their resettlement and integration process by NGOs are refugees.

Refugee-Advocacy Non-Governmental Organization Activities

Before refugees get to resettle in the U.S., their cases must go through few primary steps. Every year, the U.S. State Department is the key organization which recommends the highest number of refugee admissions for that year which the president has to approve (Nawyn, 2006). However, once the refugees are admitted to the country the process of resettling and integrating refugees in the society becomes a local process

(Nawyn, 2006). In almost all cases, a refugee-advocacy NGO or advocates welcome the refugees at the destination airports and assist them with finding houses and jobs, getting education for their children and job training for the adults, and understanding U.S. financial and banking systems, to name a few services (Nawyn, 2006, 2010). NGOs in this context, also referred to as resettlement agencies, work hand in hand with the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) and Department of Health and Human Services in the process of helping and providing services for the refugees (Barnes & Aguilar, 2007).

These services, reception and placement, are offered to refugees by NGOs through the funding provided by the ORR throughout their first 120 days in the U.S. (Nawyn, 2006).

Different refugee-advocacy NGOs help refugees by providing guidance as they are resettling in the new country and as they navigate the inevitable daily routines and activities of that culture. The arrival and resettlement of refugees in the U.S. is a complicated step-by-step process which demands the collaboration of various governmental bodies, agencies, and NGOs. Historically, NGOs have played a key role in 53

the refugee resettlement experience in the United States’ with respect to refugee acceptance as well as national and local refugee advocacy efforts. Some NGOs, depending on their nature, format, affiliation, and available funding, are able to continue providing support for refugees.

For instance, there are three kinds of refugee-advocacy NGOs in the U.S.: voluntary agencies (volags), mutual assistance associations (MAAs), and support agencies (Nawyn, 2010). Volags, usually with nationwide offices, work directly with the

State Department to send and resettle refugees across states and cities (Nawyn, 2010).

MAAs, under the affiliation with volags, primarily work with specific ethnic groups, including but not limited to refugees (Nawyn, 2010). A key point about MAAs is that unlike volags, they do not necessarily just rely on the federal government funding; in fact, they can apply for funding from other sources as well, which gives them more freedom and resources (Nawyn, 2006). And lastly, support agencies advocate for and help refugees, through offering cultural activities or negotiating with institutions (e.g. schools) but are under no contract “to provide resettlement services” (Naywn, 2010, p. 154).

Moreover, the type, duration, and amount of support and (financial) assistance that refugees get (from NGOs) varies across NGOs; for instance, while some refugees receive assistance for 3 months, others might receive it for 6 months, depending on the source of funding (Barnes & Aguilar, 2007). The advocacy work of NGOs is not limited to their direct work with refugees; in fact, they are able to help and support refugees by liaising with other institutions. The NGO in this study is more of a MAA kind of NGO; in

addition to federal funding they also seek and accept funding from other sources to assist refugees in ways they can (such as paying for school, monthly stipends, etc.).

Another important factor about the role of refugee-advocacy NGOs is in their relationship with the government and policy makers. In the US, the federal government is responsible for regulating refugee resettlement, and NGOs who advocate and help refugees must then work with the federal government in variety of ways (Nawyn, 2006).

According to Jacobsen (1996), when it comes to government introducing and implementing new refugee policies “prior legal-bureaucratic decisions affect subsequent refugee policy decisions, that is, earlier policy outputs become subsequent inputs” (p.

660). In other words, the government examines the impact of previous policies regarding an issue to decide what approach is the best for the new policies that it is trying to introduce or implement. Therefore, these policy examinations and their consequences then put a lot of pressure on NGOs, as influential actors, to push for good and rewarding policies.

More specifically, when we look at the role of NGOs in regard to proposed policies by governments, we notice that they take on a strategic role, “pursuing roles as policy mediators and service providers that may appear mainly economic in form but are as clearly perceived by their beneficiaries as political in their content” (Charlton et al.,

1995, p. 240). As these authors argue, NGOs are the important actors who have the power to have impact on the policies proposed by government in a way that can benefit groups who they advocate for.

Throughout history, NGOs have been the crucial actors who are able to pressure political leaders and policy makers to be aware of the consequences of their proposed policies and take actions (Simmons, 1998). As Simmons (1998) explains, the significant impact of U.S. and European NGOs on government’s actions to abolish slavery in the early 1800s is undeniable. Therefore, in addition to their fundamental goals and mission,

NGOs have been and continue to support and advance the lives of their beneficiaries in various ways. They become key entities who are involved in almost every part of refugees’ lives and assist them in all and every way they can, from lobbying and changing policies to finding them houses or providing any other form of advocacy.

Understanding the nature of the NGO and the goals they have set or are expected to accomplish, based on how they define themselves or are defined, offers the opportunity to examine whether and to what extent the NGOs under study, such as the one in this research, are meeting their goals. More importantly, it gives the chance to closely look at and understand how the NGOs are providing support in its different forms.

NGOs and Social Support

The value of advocacy and support that NGOs provide for refugees is very significant and it can influence their lives in variety of ways. As previous research (e.g.

Aroian, 1992; Finfgeld-Connett, 2005), but more specifically Barnes & Aguilar (2007) have explained, when discussing the types of support provided to populations such as refugees there are generally two kinds: practical support and emotional support. In their study of available social support for Cuban refugees in Texas, Barnes and Aguilar (2007) found that when it comes to the practical support, it means that NGOs strive to facilitate 56

and provide the immediate basic needs of refugees, such as food, a place to live, education, (English) language acquisition, and later healthcare. For instance, by visiting their houses on a weekly basis, making sure they have their weekly needs met, ensuring refugees take their medicine, taking them to counselling and doctor’s appointments, helping them write checks and pay the bills, hiring tutors to help them learn English or their children with school work, and comforting them when they are going through a rough time (mentally and/or physically), NGOs and their staff provide different kinds of support.

Emotional support seems to be more about the “companionship, encouragement, and acceptance” that Cuban refugees receive from fellow Cuban refugees and the

English-speaking people with whom they interact (Barnes & Aguilar, 2007, p. 230). For instance, when fellow Cuban refugees or English-speaking volunteers or friends took the refugees out to places to even temporarily forget their problems and helped them (re)gain their confidence (Barnes & Aguilar, 2007). So, NGOs use different tools to offer variety of support to refugees in order to help them settle into their new culture, lifestyle, and society as smoothly as possible. Refugees rely on all the kind of support that NGOs are able to offer to them. Taking a closer a look at how and what kind of support NGOs provide for refugees provides the chance to understand the extent to which NGOs are involved in the lives of refugees throughout the resettlement. More specifically, by closely examining the kind and level of social support of the NGO under study offers refugees, we can better understand where the NGO drew the line in terms of their involvement. Several questions linger. For instance: Do the NGOs only provide and help 57

with the basic needs and after a 3-6 month period (of allocated federal funding), let the refugees figure out things on their own and are only available during their walk-in office hours? Or are they involved for at least couple of years and provide support 24/7? How long with the use of private funds (donated by non-governmental entities, such as kind- hearted people of a community) do the NGOs pay the refugees’ apartment/house rent?

For how many sessions do they accompany and help refugees with counseling appointments? Addressing these questions, while examining the NGO under study, provides an opportunity to get a better grasp of the scope of practical and social support provided by that NGO. So, through both traditional and online platform advocacy, NGOs strive to provide help in way the refugees need; however, the process might not always go smoothly.

Challenges of NGO-Refugee Relationship

Although NGOs are valuable actors who work alongside refugees throughout the resettlement process as they are adapting to the new cultural routines and activities, their work with refugees can come with its own challenges. Many times there might be competing interests between what the NGO is trying to do and what is best for the refugees. For instance, under the pressure of social welfare system, the focus of the

NGOs is to help refugees to no longer rely on the funds/financial assistance and quickly become economically independent and self-reliant, which can result in refugees getting jobs that they are not necessarily good at, but rather a job to make ends meet (Dykstra-

Devette, 2018; Nawyn, 2010). Still, other scholars argue that encouraging refugees to

become economically self-sufficient helps to mitigate the claims that refugees are burdensome to the host country (Dykstra, 2016; KhosraviNik, 2010).

Another challenge within the refugee-NGO dynamic is that as the previous research have argued, so often refugees in the U.S. are represented under the “American

Dream” ideals, empowering characteristics, and rhetoric, which can take away their agency in representing themselves and their own unique voices (Dykstra-DeVette &

Canary, 2018; Dykstra-Devette, 2018; Vasta, 2007). In other words, the refugees might feel the pressure to assimilate to the cultural norms and standards of the host country, which in return can repress their own cultural identity. Although this approach might have a very positive intention, refugees are then forced to quickly let go of and forget their own cultural ways of being and doing things. For instance, in the United States culture people are encouraged to speak their mind in a more direct and bold way, but in other cultures, such as those of Afghan females, boldness can be considered disrespectful and insensitive to other’s feelings (Smith, 2012).

One last common challenge is that many times, the volunteers/liaisons/caseworkers working for and with NGOs and refugees do not have the necessary professional training or understanding of refugees’ native language to be able to provide the best and most effective support (Barnes & Aguilar, 2007). Despite these challenges, refugee-advocacy NGO volunteers work hard on a daily basis to better the lives of refugees in any way they can and through any means. One of those means for

NGOs has been the use of social media and their features that NGOs can utilize to provide support to their beneficiaries. 59

NGOs’ Use of Social Media

In addition to the more traditional forms of social support in recent years, some of the tools that have also helped NGOs with their work are social media platforms. Most of the kind of advocacy work and support that NGOs provide for refugees is through their traditional and on-the-ground work, from helping with education on a daily basis to setting fundraisers in local churches and festivals. However, with the emergence of social media, the work of NGOs has expanded. Through using different social media platforms and its tools, NGOs and their staff can internally communicate and collaborate with each other on a daily or weekly basis. More importantly, they can share their work and progress with the rest of community; for instance, through sharing updates, pictures, and posts they can let others know what they are doing to help refugees, or ask donors for donations, or create YouTube videos and share their mission and progress.

Throughout the past decade with the emergence and development of new media, more specifically social media platforms, the nature and format of communication have changed. Social media can be defined as “collaborative online applications and technologies which enable and encourage participation, conversation, openness, creation, and socialization amongst a community of users” (Bowley, 2009, p. 15). Social media platforms such as Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, etc. are part of this generation of providers and platforms which have emerged and are still emerging to serve people by offering an interactive way of combining different platforms and creating innovative content (Williams et al., 2010). Institutions such as NGOs now are able to utilize social media platforms throughout their refugee advocacy works. 60

The features and characteristics described in past analyses of social media make these platforms unique tools for human communication. For instance, the user-friendly characteristic of social media has offered easy, open, and accessible platforms and tools that anybody with any level of technology literacy can use and enjoy them (Mayfield,

2008; Panahi et al., 2012; Wollan et al., 2011). The user-generating and sharing content feature of social media provide the users with the chance to not just be the consumer of the content, rather active (co)creators, editors, evaluators of content and information

(Beer & Burrows, 2007; Panahi et al., 2012). The cost-effective feature of the social media allows people, companies, organizations, or any other entity to share their information, news, content, and activism mostly free or with low cost in contrast to traditional ways of marketing and information-sharing which used to cost thousands of dollars (Mayfield, 2008; Nadarja & Yazdanifard, 2013; Weinberg, 2009). And the connectivity and networking characteristic of social media allows people with common

(or different) ideas to gather together share opinions, build relationships, collaborate with each other, and create networks related to their interests, fields, and needs (McConnell &

Huba, 2007; Mayfield, 2008; Sarkkinen, 2009). NGOs have been able to harness these features to advance their advocacy strategies, reach out to their community, and have a much bigger impact on the life of their beneficiaries (Blummell & Gilmore, 2014; Gualda

& Robollo, 2016; Rodriguez, 2015)

Use of social media has facilitated and strengthened so many elements within the society, but perhaps the most significant one is in the realm of advocacy. More specifically, advocacy groups, such as NGOs, “social movement organizations”, “activist 61

groups”, etc., are now able to use social media to achieve their organizational goals and advocate for the communities whom they are helping (Obar et al., 2012, p. 4). When

NGOs use social media in addition to their offline and traditional advocacy activities, they are able to facilitate more engagement and carry out unified action (Obar et al.,

2012). Moreover, Guo and Saxton (2014) argue that it is important to show how and why

NGOs use these platforms to advocate and achieve their goals, rather than to focus on whether NGOs use social media. These authors have found that for NGOs to be able to effectively use social media platforms for advocacy it is important to consider the

“pyramid” model of online advocacy (Guo & Saxton, 2014). And the three stages of the this pyramid (bottom up) , which can happen simultaneously, is "to reach out to people”, which means to raise awareness about the existence and the work of that NGO and attract supporters, then to “keep the flame alive”, which requires the NGO to stay consistent and keep the supporters interested, and lastly “stepping up to action”, which means that the

NGO must motivate the supporters to take action (Guo & Saxton, 2014, p. 14).

There is a variety of scholarly research that shows how use of social media by different advocacy groups have created change (e.g., Blummell & Gilmore, 2014;

Lovejoy & Saxton, 2012; Obar et al., 2012). For instance, Bortree and Seltzer (2009) in their study examined to what extent environmental advocacy groups have been successful in creating dialogic engagement between organizations and beneficiaries using dialogic strategies through their social media platforms. These authors found that while these advocacy groups have used social media platforms, they have not been successful in utilizing and benefiting from all the dialogic strategies that these platforms have to offer 62

(Bortree & Seltzer, 2009). And they have further suggested that through use of these strategies NGOs can build a better network, interact directly with the stakeholders, and ultimately grow the NGO’s social media platform even further. Biddix (2010) found that use of social media on college campuses has encouraged activism among student leaders.

Moreover, Petray (2011) found that Australian activists are utilizing different social media platforms to promote their cause and raise awareness about the issues and difficulties that they are facing. These studies show us that when social media platforms are utilized in smart and strategic ways they can offer individuals—and NGOs—more ways to engage, improve, and boost their advocacy work.

In term of advocacy for nonprofits, “social media sites provide a way to expand advocacy efforts by reaching new networks of community actors and by mobilizing those networks to take action” (Guo & Saxton, 2014, p. 58). Guo and Saxton (2010), by relying on previous research (e.g. Avner, 2002; Reid, 1999), created a typology of advocacy strategies used by NGOs, such as: research, direct and grassroots lobbying, media advocacy, public events, direct action, and public education. In a study by Simmons

(1998), he noticed the power of emerging social media platforms and argued that “instead of holding marches or hanging banners off buildings, NGO members now use computers and cell phones to launch global public-relations blitzes that can force issues to the top of policymakers' ‘to do’ lists” (p. 84). Since then, these platforms have provided a chance for NGOs, political leaders, and people to communicate directly with one another. As previous research indicates, social media have influenced “NGOs’ abilities to have their messages heard in the networked public sphere—the digital space where politicians, 63

journalists, organizations, groups, and citizens publicly negotiate issues” (Yang & Saffer,

2018, p. 422). As Yang and Saffer (2018) have explained, NGOs form relationships and collaborations with other civil societies to put their minds, voices, and efforts together to make a bigger change and cause a greater impact. And NGOs’ level of impact on the media and people’s perception is determined by their level of status and power in both offline and online platforms (Yang & Saffer, 2018). Through the use of these platforms

NGOs have been able to assist and guide refugees throughout their early phases of resettlement as they are becoming more familiar with the cultural, political, and economic norms of the new country (Dykstra-DeVettee & Canary, 2018).

Use of such platforms by different advocacy groups have been very beneficial for various marginalized populations. In a study by Rodriguez (2015), the author examined the public relations strategies that LGBTI-asylum-specific NGOs used through social media platforms to advocate for these populations, recruit volunteers and employees, and encourage donation. This study’s findings indicated that its NGOs under study used social media to “disseminate information about human rights and legislation in other countries”, establish a community of activists and users who shared, exchanged, and learned information about these populations, and ultimately impact stakeholders and public to volunteer, donate, and advocate for refugees (Rodriguez, 2015, p. 8).

Although these aforementioned studies (i.e., Rodriguez, 2015; Yang & Saffer,

2018) specifically looked at the use of social media platforms by refugee-advocacy

NGOs, most studies of NGO social media use do not consider the importance for refugees. There are countless studies which explore how NGOs use of social media to 64

achieving their goals in general (Adi, 2015), or to facilitating dialogic communication

(Chen & Fu, 2016; Men & Tsai, 2012), or to engage in public relations (Hinson, 2012;

Wright & Hinson, 2013). Lesser explored, however, is the way NGOs serve and advocate for refugees through their social media platforms. Several questions arise in this scholarly gap. Whether through traditional routes or social media platforms, NGOs work tirelessly with the refugees and provide support in any way they can and both parties build valuable relationships along the resettlement journey. For instance, through use of these platforms NGOs are able to network and lobby at a low-cost contrary to traditional form of doing the same work which required funding for travels, creating flyers and posters, etc. Moreover, through sharing posts, updates, and pictures NGOs can provide a general or detailed report of the advocacy work to their audience.

Now, in the 21st century, the combination of traditional advocacy work and social media has provided valuable assets for NGOs to make proactive approaches and bring change. In general, civil societies, such as Non-Profit Organizations, have played a crucial role in the society and advocating for and helping marginalized populations

(Brinkerhoff & Brinkerhoff, 2002; Douglas, 1987; Kramer, 1981). As Yang and Saffer

(2018) put it, NGOs are “important strategic communicators” who are not afraid to cover and address controversial topics, impact media’s coverage, and bring significant social change (p. 424).

More specifically, in terms of NGOs and refugees, considering the fact that NGOs and their staff work directly with the refugees and are fairly familiar with refugees’ journeys, stories, and experiences, it is crucial to make sure NGOs’ opinions and input 65

are significant parts of policy-making and policies by the government (Yang & Saffer,

2018). Beyond the day to day from of advocacy, NGOs use social media platforms to support refugees directly and indirectly by for instance sharing news and update to the community, spreading the word about fundraiser, getting resources (such as volunteers, money donation) that can help refugees and their life in various ways. Additionally, considering the fact that NGOs actively assist the refugees throughout the beginning stages of resettling, it is crucial to get a better understanding of what that journey entails.

Through my research, and considering the role and impact of a local NGO, such as Advocating for Refugees (AFR, a pseudonym), I am interested to find out:

RQ2: How do volunteers and staff from this NGO work alongside/work with

these women as they manage their everyday routines?

Chapter Summary

In this chapter, I reviewed the existing literature on refugees, particularly female

Afghan refugees, and their experiences of everyday routines. Additionally, I represented the literature regarding stigma and modified labeling theory in relation to representation of marginalized populations such as refugees. Lastly, I discussed the literature on the

NGOs, specifically, refugee-advocacy NGOs, the nature of their work and social support, and use of social media in their effort to support refugees. Two research questions were posed, which will be answered in the upcoming chapters: (1) How do Afghan female refugees describe their ordinary experiences and everyday routines during the early transitional period living in the United States?, and (2): How do volunteers and staff

from this NGO work alongside/work with these women as they manage their everyday routines?

Chapter 4: Methodology

Chapter Overview

In the following sections, I will talk about my methodological approach to this dissertation. I will first discuss the suitability of an ethnographic qualitative study and then describe my approach to data collection, which includes participant observations and interviews. Next, I will talk about my approach to data analysis. And lastly, I will reflect on my own positionality with respect to this research and speak to my goals for adhering to the standards for high quality qualitative research.

Suitability of an Ethnographic Qualitative Study

I applied the interpretive paradigm in this qualitative research. Within interpretive research approach, social reality is considered to be influenced by human experiences and social contexts, and it is crucial to subjectively examine the relationship of elements and participants within its socio-historical context (Arnett, 2007; Lincoln,

1995; Tracy, 2013). Working from an interpretive paradigm “it is absolutely necessary to analyze social action from the actor’s standpoint”, to provide a better understanding of participant’s personal perspective within the significant context of which they have been part (Tracy, 2013, p. 41). More specifically, in order to focus on the specific stories of the population under this study, Afghan female refugees, I used ethnography as the method to approach and collect the data.

According to Vannini (2015), ethnography is defined as “people-focused emic research which makes use of data collection methods such as participation, observation, and interviews, and which unfolds by way of thick-description and interpretive 68

contextualization” (p. 318). By conducting ethnographic research, the researcher immerses herself in the daily life of the people she wants to study, observes and listens to everything that can be valuable to the research, asks questions to dig deeper to understand better and shine more light in those stories, experiences, contexts (Hammersley &

Atkinson, 1983).

Moreover, ethnography allows the researcher to get a better understanding of the lives of the participants from their own unique perspective (Gozdziak, 2004; Spradley,

1979). In this study, ethnography provides opportunities to get closer to the refugees and the NGOs and advocates who help; observe and talk to them one-on-one; and more importantly, provide a better understanding of who these people are, what they go through, what is important to them and what is not, and so much more.

More specifically, I conducted participant observation and individual interviews with the Afghan female refugees and AFR liaisons. The participant observation method gave me closer access to my co-participants’ lives—I was able, in part, to adopt their habits, behaviors, experiences, connections, and relationships within the contexts they are part of and living in (Atkinson & Coffey, 2002; Madison, 2011; Shah, 2017).

Additionally, the interviews afforded me access to deeper understanding of the refugees’ and the AFR liaisons’ stories and experiences through their own description (Atkinson &

Coffey, 2002; Madison, 2011; Shah, 2017). The combination of both methods, participant observation and interviewing, provides a holistic approach to collection and interpretation of the data (Atkinson & Coffey, 2002; Becker & Geer, 1957).

Through this study I aimed to explore the real-life, ordinary, and everyday experiences of Afghan female refugees throughout the early stages of resettlement from their own perspective with an eye toward understanding the how and why behind their narratives. Additionally, I also focused on the experiences of NGOs’ volunteers regarding their advocacy for, and relations with, the refugee families throughout those early phases of resettling and adapting. Valuable ethnographic research foregrounds establishing trust and rapport with the population with whom one is working (Springwood & King, 2001).

According to Springwood and King (2001):

rapport is taken to imply a range of traditional concerns with “getting there” and

“being there” and the consequent reevaluation of where (and what) “there” is.

These concerns have variously included empathy, immersion, participation,

friendship, honesty, collaboration, trust, exploitation, negotiation, and loyalty. (p.

405)

Therefore, establishing a trust was the vital element of doing this research as it focused on a sensitive population who need that trust in order to be able to share their personal and traumatic experiences. Overall, I worked with this NGO for about two years and engaged in approximately 50 hours of participant observation—primarily through volunteering—in two refugee NGOs, and I collected a total of 3 interviews with refugees and 13 interviews with NGO staff and/or volunteers. Although I spent extensive time with both NGOs, one site, Advocating for Refugees (AFR, pseudonym) became my primary site in this dissertation. Taken together, my methodological lenses aided me in exploring the Afghan female refugees’ stories and experiences within the complex, 70

interrelated, and multifaceted social and political processes and contexts. Below I begin by offering a background on both NGOs and then move to describe my data collection approaches.

Organization Sites

My primary site in this dissertation study was Advocating for Refugees (AFR, a pseudonym). AFR is located in a small town in the Eastern United States. According to their website, this NGO was established in the summer of 2016 as the members found themselves very concerned about the Syrian refugee crisis and the conditions of refugees in the refugee camps, and they wanted to do something to help refugees. This NGO has

300 volunteers and liaisons, and they have established partnerships with faith-based communities and local community organizations such as Catholic Charities who work directly with the state department to help AFR identify and resettle refugee families.

In its day-to-day operations, AFR helps refugee families through the entire transition process from arrival and resettlement by providing support in the areas of education, job search, and health care, amongst other things. To date, AFR has supported refugee adults and children from Afghanistan, Somalia, Syria, and Burundi. There are about 10 active liaisons who work directly with about four refugee families.

A secondary site of interest in this dissertation was a local NGO called Catholic charity, Catholic Refugee Rescue (CRR). This organization has a different structure and body of organization compared to the AFR. This NGO is a local branch of a bigger NGO with the same general name, and it focuses on variety of humanitarian and advocacy issues such as behavioral health and disability services, children services, housing and 71

homeless services, as well as refugee advocacy services for people of that small town/community. This branch works directly with and receives funding from the government and has around 6 full-time staff, such as director, educational coordinator, case-workers who each work with and are assigned to refugees of each country, and volunteers. Under government’s requirement, CRR enrolls refugees in a 30 day orientation program and has a hands-on approach with them during that period, but after the completion of program it provides assistance and support to refugees in situations of need. Although I spent and continue to spend extensive time at CRR, the primary focus of my dissertation became about AFR, its liaisons, and the refugees who are and were under their advocacy currently and previously, which I will describe in the upcoming sections.

Data Collection

As part of my ethnographic approach, I collected data through observations as well as in-depth one-on-one interviews with the refugees and NGO staff. More specifically, for this study, I interviewed two general groups. First, in order to address my first research question about refugees and the refugee experience, I interviewed refugees who have migrated to the U.S. within the last five years. Second, in order to address my second research question about NGOs and their advocacy and support efforts I interviewed NGO staff, including liaisons who work directly with refugees, volunteers/translators who assist both refugees and liaisons, the director, and the liaisons/individuals who were in charge of AFR social media posts and activities. With

the consent of my interviewees, I audio-recorded and transcribed the interviews for later analysis. In what follows, I talk about each of these more in depth.

Observation

Throughout my volunteering and collaboration with AFR, I was involved in this

NGO through participating in their monthly meetings and accompanying the refugees and their liaisons to doctors’ appointments, over-the-phone assistance, and other situations where translation was needed. At AFR I was in the field for approximately 34 months overall, including 14 months of volunteering and building trust and rapport, and learning about the NGO before my research study IRB application got approved. So, after 14 months of volunteering and upon IRB approval, I officially started my research and conducted one-on-one interviews with liaisons and refugees. I acted as a translator between liaisons and refugees. Partnering in this capacity with AFR helped me to build trust with AFR staff and refugees. Each refugee family had one or two American liaisons who work with them and both groups (refugees and liaisons) need help with translation from Dari (a language spoken by Afghan refugees, which is Afghan dialect of Farsi, my first language) to English and vice versa. Additionally, the president of AFR invited me to attend the staff meetings and accompany liaisons and refugees to job training sessions as well as doctors’ and counselling appointments. Throughout the meetings I participated in the conversations, contributed to problem solving discussions when needed/asked, and

I took observation notes of the discussions, dynamics, and other significant elements

(with the director’s verbal consent). These early informal interactions helped to establish a relationship of trust between the refugees, liaisons, and I. Additionally, these 73

interactions helped me get a more fundamental understanding of the resettlement process of refugees, the important actors who are involved, and the salient challenges that liaisons face throughout their advocacy work. Moreover, discussions with the director, staff, and liaisons helped me get a better understanding of the day-to-day concerns of a small community NGO such as this, which made me reflect on my interview guide and the information that I collected.

Throughout those experiences I was constantly observing and paying attention to the conversations, discussions, facial and body expressions in each situation, meeting, and appointment that was in/accompanying NGO staff or liaison. I was also taking what scholars such as Sanjek (1990) and Ellen (1984) refer to as scratch notes. I used scratch notes to write down the salient moments of conversations, discussions, behaviors, emotions, brainstorming, and realizations in the moment and keep those notes in a journal. After leaving the field, I would use these scratch notes as a starting point to create richer fieldnotes (Sanjek, 1990). Additionally, my scratch notes and subsequent fieldnotes helped me write interview questions. As recommended by Sanjek (1990), I

“carefully record[ed] answers to posed questions, write[wrote] down in the informant’s own words and language dictated myth, spell, recipe, or life history remembrance” to help me craft meaningful questions to ground our interviews (p. 104). Ultimately, while my main data collection tool was interviews, I continued taking field notes throughout my involvement in this NGO and data collection phase, as doing so helped me fill in the potential gaps, which then helped to address my research questions more thoroughly.

Furthermore, the field notes helped me refine interview guide and develop theoretical insights.

In addition to my observations at AFR, I also included and analyzed observations, which was around 10 hours, from my time at CRR as part of my data in this dissertation.

At CRR, I worked directly the educational coordinator helping, teaching, and translating for refugees and the orientation program teachers. I still continue to work with this NGO in capacity of cultural ambassador, representing CRR and helping to raise refugees’ awareness and provide necessary information and assistance during the Covid-19 pandemic period.

Interviews

My participant observation and volunteer hours logged at the NGO helped me to get “an insider knowledge of the topic”, to have a better understanding of the NGO in general, to experience how it worked, and to see first-hand the nature of their advocacy including challenges faced by the NGO and refugees (i.e., level of education and English proficiency); together these experiences shaped my interview protocol (Johnson &

Weller, 2002, p. 497). I started my interview with more broad questions before transitioning into more specific questions to get a better understanding of both of the groups, liaisons and refugees, and their experiences throughout these early phases of resettlement in the new country (see Spradley,1979; Johnson & Weller, 2002). In the following I will describe the goal and direction with each of these subject groups.

Refugees. I interviewed three female Afghan refugees associated with AFR to explore their own narration of stories and experiences. My work volunteering alongside 75

liaisons and refugees helped me to establish relationships. I interviewed these women about their experiences, concerns, and stories of pre-resettlement, resettlements, and post- resettlement in an effort to answer my first research question (see Appendix A). Although

I am fluent in two languages (English and my mother language, Farsi), due to refugees limited English language the interviews were conducted in Dari/Farsi. The interviews took 60-90 minutes and took place face-to-face at refugees’ houses per their request. I conducted interviews with Afghan female refugees, who were between the age range of

25-45 and who have migrated and resettled in the U.S. within the past five years. I only interviewed refugees who associate with or receive advocacy from AFR as well as another NGO, Catholic Refugee Rescue (CRR) in a neighboring town with whom I connected through AFR.

NGO Staff and Liaisons. Overall, I interviewed total of 13 staff and liaisons. I interviewed 12 NGO staff at AFR particularly those who worked closely with refugees and also those who worked on social media content. I also interviewed the educational coordinator from CRR; this was the only interview in this dissertation that originated at

CRR. I interviewed liaisons about their perspective on the challenges of working/advocating for populations such as this and the impact of different government refugee policies on their work. Additionally, I examined the role of volunteers, liaison, and staff throughout the early phases of refugees’ resettlement and as they are learning the everyday routines and norms within the culture. Further, I interviewed the only liaison and the director of AFR who were running the NGO’s social media sites to learn about how they make decisions about what to post and how they strategize. In order to 76

prepare for these interviews, I familiarized myself with AFR’s social media accounts and examined its online posts and content. This activity helped me identify any poignant or meaningful posts that I wanted to ask the interviewees about during the interview. These

60-90 minute interviews took place face-to-face at a location of the participant’s choosing

(e.g., their university offices, coffeeshops, library, mall, etc.). They provided a common ground for us to work from as we have discussed the NGO’s approach to digital advocacy. Additionally, I showed the NGO staff interviewees some of these posts, as relevant, and asked them about the intention behind different posts and what they were hoping to achieve, and whether/how that aligned with their NGO’s mission/goal statements. This kind of approach has been done before; for instance, in one study, the researchers asked participants to log in to their personal Facebook profiles and talk about the information they have posted and go over their account privacy setting, while other researchers created new Facebook profiles, and befriended and observed the participants prior to their face-to-face interviews (e.g., Govani & Pashley 2005; Young & Quan-

Haase, 2009).

Organizational Artifacts

I relied on, examined, and analyzed AFR’s website, Facebook profile, and

Telegram groupchats as significant artifacts throughout my data collection. Through examining these potential documents, websites, and instant-messaging apps I got a better understanding of AFR’s online approach and how they share news and updates, or how they advertise, and how they recruit in these online spaces. And examining those

platforms provided a context and better understanding of this NGO’s approach and discourse toward refugee’s issues, stories, and perception of them by the community.

Author Positionality

As an individual who migrated to the U.S. to pursue higher education, my experiences intersect with—and depart from—the experiences of my participants.

Although I am not a refugee, I—like my participants—had to learn and navigate my way through a new culture that had its own societal, economic, and financial complexities.

Unlike some of my potential participants, however, I learned English at a young age and became familiar with American culture, politics, and society throughout my teen and adult life. These experiences prepared me for what to expect and what I would experience upon arriving in the United States. Many refugees leave their countries under duress, and as such, might not be as trained or prepared as I was when I arrived.

So, in a very interesting way, I had and have both outsider and insider status with the population that I studied in this research (Ganga & Scott, 2006). I am an insider as I understand the difficulties and nuances of living in another country, speaking in a second language, fighting against misconceptions and misrepresentations, and being impacted by different administrations’ policies. On the other hand, I am also an outsider as I was not forced to flee my country, I did not have to live in a camp, worry about seeking refuge, or go through significant trauma and hardship throughout the resettlement process.

Therefore, in many ways, as Ganga & Scott (2006) also explain, I have had to move back and forth between being an insider and outsider in my interactions with refugees based on the topics that arise, experiences shared, and stories spoken. As the researcher I tried to 78

make sure to be sensitive to the experiences of these refugees who shared their stories with me. I believe my insider role, the commonalities that I personally had with these individuals, prepared me to be particularly empathetic and understanding of the unique experiences that they might have had.

Data Analysis

I conducted an iterative analysis of the data to analyze my qualitative data drawn from all of the interviews, observations, my field note journals, and review of organizational artifacts. In order to organize, assess, and code the data I used Tracy’s

(2013) iterative approach to data analysis, which is an approach that “alternates between emic, or emergent, readings of data and etic use of existing models, explanations, and theories” (p. 184). More specifically, this approach allows the researchers to study and restudy the data, evaluate the emerging themes, and improve their understanding and interpretation of the data (Tracy, 2013). First, I started with organizing all the raw material I collected through observation, fieldnotes, journals, and interviews in chronological order as it allowed me to examine “how the data were collected and interpreted over time” (Tracy, 2013, p.185). Additionally, that approach provided me with the chance to notice the topics and concepts which kept coming up considering the study research questions before starting the coding process. Using the combination of manual and computer-aided approaches, I started by engaging in primary-cycle coding, where I examined the data and assigned words or phrases that could represent their nature

(Tracy, 2013). This step helps the researcher to focus on and examine what is present and salient in the data and detail the who, where, why, and how dimensions within/from the 79

data (Tracy, 2013). Upon primary-cycle coding there were around 120 initial codes, such as “nervousness”, “trauma”, “life in Afghanistan”, “fear”, “domestic abuse”, “men”, “ protection”, “children’ safety”, “patriarchy”, “PTSD”, “help”, “helping”, “money”,

“assistance”, “relationship”, “parental figure/relationship”, “reliance”, “dependence”,

“hope”, “scared”, “frustration”, “discouraging”, “tired”, and “English language”.

Through constant comparative method (Charmaz, 2006; Glaser & Strauss, 1967) I compared and analyzed the data and modified the codes and their meaning and defined new codes associated with the experiences, feelings, events, and descriptions (Tracy,

2013). Additionally, because of my involvement in this NGO pre-, during, and post- data collection and my interactions with both refugees and liaisons, the iterative approach was an important approach as it gave me the chance to revisit and reevaluate the coding approach and my interpretation of the data throughout the process.

Then, through applying second-cycle coding I moved beyond “first-level descriptive codes to analytic and interpretive second-level codes” (Tracy, 2013, p. 194).

Then I relied on the first-level codes as well their interpretive and theoretical knowledge to create and generate second-level codes. As Tracy (2013) have described, this level of coding allows the researchers to go beyond just codes and describe, make sense of, and synthesize the data. For instance, the discussion regarding having or not having a man was brought up a lot throughout the interactions and interviews with the three female refugees and I noticed that throughout the primary-cycle coding I wrote down the code

“men” and “protection” frequently. But the significant point here was that these women did not just mention the word man to simply refer to a male human being. One of the 80

Mard va) مرد و مدد female refugees, in particular, throughout her interview kept saying

Madad), which in Farsi the first word means man and the second word means protector/helper/succor. And through the second-cycle coding process I noticed that this phrase is very significant and powerful that it can be used and presented as one of the major themes in regards to these Afghan women’ experiences and their own description

(Mard va Madad) مرد و مدد of it. Throughout the second-cycle coding, in addition to theme, two other themes, illiteracy and language (im-)proficiency, and support of local

NGOs, were synthesized from the initial codes in order to address the first research question, which will be discussed in details in chapter 5.

Additionally, during second-cycle coding I was able to analyze and identify patterns and cause-effect relations (Tracy, 2013). For instance, throughout the primary- cycle of coding of data related to liaisons’ experience of working with refugees I noticed the codes such as “dependence”, “independence”, “self-sufficient”, “discouraging” were brought up frequently as the liaisons described their role in refugees’ lives and the relationship with them. Throughout the second-cycle coding, I noticed that liaisons’ descriptions of their relationship with refugees were referred to as a woven relationship.

Moreover, based on some of the critical concepts that liaisons used to refer to their

(woven) relationship with refugees and based on my observations of their interaction with refugees, I realized that the metaphor of the parent-child relationship could describe and examine this woven relationship. Additionally, through several rounds of the second- cycle coding, I noticed that the concepts used to describe their relationship, issues, and tensions correlate with each other or represent themselves as the two sides of a spectrum. 81

For instance, I noticed refugees' dependency and autonomy have a correlation or a consequential relationship. So, throughout the analyzing process and many collaborative conversations with my advisors and in order to help answer the second research question,

I formulated and presented one overarching theme discussing the tensions within this relationship: dependency vs/and autonomy. This theme subsequently has two subthemes,

(a) fulfilling vs/and discouraging, (b) expectation vs/and reality, which all will be discussed in detail in chapter 6.

Pursing Validity and Analytic Rigor

According to Tracy (2013), there are eight criteria that interpretive scholars should consider when seeking to produce rigorous research. In this study, I strived to adhere to at least three of those practices: thick description, sincerity, and significant contribution.

First, I engaged in thick description in order to achieve and maintain quality, trust, and rigor in my study. As such, I made sure that I continue spending enough, appropriate, and useful amount of time in the field to be able to collect rich data (Tracy,

2013). Considering the sensitivity of the topic of refugee and refugee crisis and the current social and political climate, specifically in the U.S., it was very crucial for me to make sure that I build the relationship and trust with my participants and others involved.

I accompanied refugees and their liaisons to multiple job workshops, counseling sessions, and doctors’ appointments and throughout those times we had discussions about life, the

U.S. culture, our families, and many more topics. I made sure to introduce myself, answered their questions and voluntarily shared personal information about myself (i.e., 82

where I am from, my family, my life) and any other information that helped them get to know me better and feel comfortable first before asking them to share more information about themselves and later sit down for an interview. Before conducting each interview, I first talked to each of these female Afghan refugees over the phone and asked them if they were comfortable with doing the interview. Once they gave me their over-the-phone verbal consent, I made sure to go and visit them personally at the place of their choosing

(which for refugees was their houses) and gave them more details about the project and the questions I was going to ask, ensured them about confidentiality, and got their second verbal consent, before going back another time to conduct the interview.

In terms of liaisons, I tried to introduce myself to as many as liaisons as I could by attending meetings, getting introduced by the director, introducing myself before and after the meetings, and forming relationships beyond the NGO and volunteering work. I provided my phone numbers to liaisons and volunteers who asked me to join their group chats with refugees to help them with translation daily. I also made sure to let them know that I was available anytime they needed me in person or over phone, which happened many times. And after some months of involvement in the NGO, presence and volunteer work in the NGO, and established relationships, with the help of AFR director, I sent all liaisons and volunteers an email with a doodle link and asked for their voluntary participation in my research. I then emailed each of those liaisons who expressed interest and set up a date and time for interview in the location of their choosing. These relationships and commitments helped me to offer a complex and deeper depiction and

understanding of the contextual meanings about the people, processes, and activities under study (Tracy, 2013).

Second, I tried to make sure to practice sincerity by sharing my goals, hopes, and mistakes while I discussed different aspects of my own experiences, the fieldwork, and the needs and voices of my participants (Tracy, 2013). Given that some of the interview topics were sensitive or upsetting for my interviewees, I made efforts to pose careful and thoughtful interview questions while acknowledging the vulnerability inherent. At the beginning of each interview I told each of the refugee women (and liaisons) that if they at any point of the interview did not want to answer a question or wanted to end the interview we could definitely do that. Considering the fact that each of these women experienced/still experience significant trauma, hardship, and PTSD I made sure to get the contact information of their counselors/counseling offices and let refugees know that if they decided to voluntarily share a traumatic information and felt anxious or thought needed help we could contact those counselors and get them the help they needed.

Additionally, I did not include or ask any specific question about their trauma or traumatic experiences and did not bring them up and completely allowed the refugees to share any information they voluntarily wanted to share about any aspect of their life related to the research. In cases where they brought up their experiences with domestic abuse and other sensitive topics I only asked follow up questions when I wanted to clarify their story and I made sure to let them know that they do not need to share anything more if they did not want to. I will further continue to reflect on how my own views and perspectives shape this study. 84

And lastly, I have strived to adhere to the standards of significant contribution.

Considering the current social and political climate surrounding the topic of refugees, especially in the months after the proposal of travel ban by the Trump administration to the current time I am editing this chapter during racial equality movements around the

U.S. and the world, this study and its findings are timely and could be a valuable theoretically and practically (Tracy, 2013). Additionally, this study can help refugee- advocacy NGOs to provide a better and more engaged online dialogue with their online and offline targeted audience/stakeholders/beneficiaries.

Chapter Summary

And through this ethnographic study and applying iterative analysis, I have attempted to fulfill all three purposes of conducting research, which are to explore, describe, and explain. In this chapter I discussed and presented my methodological approach toward data collection and analysis. I described the suitability of the ethnographic qualitive approach, specifically participant-observation and interview methods, for this research. I then reflected on my positionality as the author. Then, I described the process of data collection and analysis. Finally, I discussed my approach toward validity and analytic rigor.

In the upcoming chapters of this study I will address the two major research questions. In chapter 5, I will discuss the answer to the first research question which sought to find out the everyday experiences of Afghan female refugees throughout the early phases of resettlement from their perspectives. In chapter 6, I will address the second research question which sought to understand the role of refugee-advocacy NGOs 85

in the lives of refugees as they navigate the new everyday routines and realities within the new culture. Finally, in chapter 7, I will discuss the discussion and conclusion of the research.

Chapter 5: Refugees’ Ordinary Experiences and Everyday Routines Throughout

the Early Phases of Resettlement

Chapter Overview

In this chapter I will review the emergent themes I discovered in my analysis of stories and experiences of female Afghan refugees throughout their resettlement journey in the U.S. thus addressing my first research question which asked: How do Afghan female refugees describe their ordinary experiences and everyday routines during the early transitional period living in the United States? In response to this RQ, one overarching theme emerged: female Afghan refugees’ challenging road to independence.

Under this theme, description of their experiences throughout the transitional period can

Mard va Madad), (b) illiteracy and English language) مرد و مدد (be categorized into (a

(im)proficiency, and (c) support of local NGOs. In the first subtheme, female refugees spoke about how the (lack or) presence of a man in their lives has impacted their everyday experiences. In the second subtheme, female refugees discussed how their illiteracy and English language (im)proficiency have caused challenges throughout their resettlement journey. And in the third subtheme, these females shared their experiences of working with the local NGOs. The third subtheme has two sub-subthemes, (i) experience of working with each NGO and (ii) refugees’ expectation and concern. In this chapter, I begin each section with the definition of each of the overarching theme, subsequent subtheme, and sub-subthemes, followed by offering examples to illustrate the elements and dimensions within each of them.

Trigger warning: Please note that in the following sections, there will be detailed descriptions of violence, domestic abuse, and forced abortion which happened to some of these women prior to fleeing their country and which they voluntarily shared throughout their interviews.

Challenging Road to Independence

Perhaps the most inevitable and critical part of refugees’ lives in the host country is the process of being more independent. Resettlement NGOs, such as AFR and CRR, play a critical role in helping refugees have a much smoother and easier transition to the new country and its culture. However, refugees are the main actors who ultimately to take on the challenges, responsibilities, and new daily routines as they resettle in their new home. For Fereshteh, Nasim, and Zinat (pseudonyms), the journey to independence has not been an easy process; in fact, it has been filled with fears, uncertainties, and setbacks as well as hopes, improvements, and accomplishments. More specifically, based on the interviews, their description of their road to more independence can be examined in three

,Mard va Madad), Illiteracy and English language (im-)proficiency) مرد و مدد :subthemes and Support of local NGOs.

(Mard va Madad) مرد و مدد

The three female Afghan refugees in this study shared the experiences and challenges which they have gone through throughout their preflight and resettlement journey. Throughout these interviews, they described challenges and hardships in their everyday lives in relation to lack of/presence of a man in their life/household. Each of these women, two single mothers and one married woman, have had their own uniquely 88

difficult experiences and traumas related to the lack of/presence of a man in the household. Each woman spoke about how she copes with these realities on a daily basis.

During the interviews with these Afghan females, I noticed that topic of having or not having a man in the house is one of their main concerns. More specifically, it could be understood from their descriptions that having the man, who can provide and protect their

Mard va Madad), which its closest) مرد و مدد family, is of great importance. The term translation is man and succor in English, was mentioned by one of the single mother refugees, Fereshteh. Almost every time she was discussing how losing her husband and not having a man in her household have changed her and her children’s life, she used this

Mard and Madad) are two separate) مدد and مرد phrase. Even though those words

Mard) in her sentences, she) مرد words, and interestingly she could just use the word

Madad) means) مدد ,Madad). In Dari/Farsi) مدد accompanied that word with supporter/provider/protector/partner all at the same time and she brought those two words together when sharing her story. This word choice showed that she is not just concerned about having a male figure in her household; rather, from her cultural, societal, and personal perspective, it’s about having someone who can and will protect and lead the family in ups and downs of life.

Next, I will introduce you to each woman and her family. I create space for their pre- and post-flight experiences, and more importantly I share their stories, in their own

Mard va Madad) theme. Following the women’s) مرد و مدد words first, in light of the stories, I offer my translation of their experiences.

Fereshteh. Fereshteh is a single mother to two young daughters. She was born in

Afghanistan, but she was raised in Pakistan and got married in Pakistan to her Afghan husband and had a very happy life. But once both her husband and father died, her life changed as her brother-in-law (her sister’s husband) started to become very abusive toward her. Fereshteh described:

دیگه زندگی خوب بود وقتی شو هرم زنده بود. وقتی که اون از دنیا رفت زندگیم خیلی به تلخی کشید .

]شو هر خوا هرم[ میومد میگفت دختر تو را من سودا میکنم، ۲ تا دختری تو بچه های تو من سودا میکنم،

میگفتم اینا دخترای خودمه، اینا دخترای تو نیست که سودا کنی، من خدا با دست خودم خدمت میکنم

خدمت مردم میکنم بچه خودمو بر تو نمیکنم، نه میخوام نه با تو کار دارم. خوب ⸮ دیگه اون گفت تو

باید با من عروسی کنی من گفتم من هیچوقت اینطوری نمیشه که من با تو عروسی کنم، چرا که من

تورو نمیگیرم...من یه زن بیوه بودم. من مرد و مدد نداشتم...انقدر من رو زده بود ( همونجور که به من

نشون میده( کل دستام زخمی بود و صورتم سیاه بود ]از کبودی[....

…When my husband was alive, my life was good. Once he died my life turned

sour. [My brother-in-law] told me I want to barter your daughters, your two

daughters. I would tell him they are my daughters; they are not yours to barter.

With god’s help I work hard, work for people, but I won’t give my daughters to

you. I don’t want to have anything to do with you. He would tell me you should

marry me, and I would say to him that will never happen, I will not marry you… I

was a widow. I did not have a man and succor…he would beat me so much that

there were always scars and wounds all over my arms and hands (as she shows

me the marks on her hands and arms) and my face was covered in dark bruises…. 90

In the excerpt above we notice how Fereshteh described her life changing once her own father and later in life her husband died. From her perspective, once she lost both male figures in her life, her brother-in-law started to make inappropriate suggestions and abusing her. She explains how she consistently and strongly kept confronting and rejecting her brother-in-law’s inappropriate advances. Fereshteh let him know that as the only parent she is head of her household and she will not let him barter her daughters, which unfortunately is still an issue in countries such as Afghanistan and Pakistan. To this day women, especially young girls are bartered for reasons such as forced marriage, to settle a dispute, to repay a loan/debt, power, keeping family honor, mostly arranged by fathers, head of tribes, and/or male relatives (Naseer, 2018; Nawa, 2013). However, while she firmly dismissed her brother-in-law’s request and demands, in the quote we also see

man and succor) and throughout) مرد و مدد that Fereshteh mentioned that she did not have the interview she expressed that not having a man in her life made her vulnerable in some areas. Especially in situations where she thought (/continues to think) that the power/protective/provider figure could have made a difference in her life in such patriarchal society, by for instance naturally preventing any male figure from wanting to barter her daughters, or asking her to marry them, and not allowing anyone to physically and emotionally abuse Fereshteh.

Later in the interview Fereshteh went into more detail of how the altercations and abuse got worse gradually to the point where it became one of the only reasons that left her no choice but to flee the country with her two daughters. As a follow up question at some point I asked her: 91

Me: …you talked about the difficulties you faced throughout your life. But what happened that made you realize you can’t live there anymore and must flee the country?

Fereshteh: well, he [brother-in-law] told me that I will kill you.

Me: oh, he threatened you?

Fereshteh: he told me I will shoot you. I did not have any other choice…my landlord would tell me leave my house because I don’t want him to come and kill us because of you. I would say to myself, god what should I do? I don’t have a husband, I don’t have a man and succor, with two kids where should I go, he would come to my house and open the main door forcefully, I would get scared, scream and cry, but it was as if nobody heard me…he would come and grab me by my hair, he would push me to the wall. Do you see here? (she shows me her scars), do you see my hands?

Me: Was your sister alive?

Fereshteh: Yes, she is alive.

Me: Your sister wouldn’t say anything?

Fereshteh: My sister has been also suffering under him. The poor thing can’t say anything… I would tell my sister you are suffering too, I don’t know what he wants from me, why he hits me, she would say he wants your daughters…my daughter was a child, why would I barter her… I was 13 when I got married…my mother forced us to marry because she couldn’t afford all her children…[why would I do that to my children?]… 92

Fereshteh here described how violent her brother-in-law got and shared how not having any support even from her own sister, who was also suffering, forced her to do whatever it took to leave the country. Throughout the interview she repeatedly shared the sufferings and challenges she experienced, and she directly linked some of those hardships to lack of presence of a husband for her and a father for her daughters.

(Mard va Madad) مرد و مدد Additionally, according to her stories the concept of would also be brought up during her conversations with daughter. Fereshteh recalled a story of when they were back in Pakistan living in a rented place, her daughter saw other children getting new clothes and belongings and she was not. Fereshteh shared how she tried to explain their situation to her daughter:

…My poor neighbor would bring and buy us some stuff…I had some money, I

was working myself, I would pay the bills and rent with that money. My neighbor

would bring my daughters her own daughters’ secondhand clothes, she was doing

it kind-heartedly. My daughter didn’t have new clothes. She would ask me

“mommy”; I would say “yes dear”; she would say “others just bought new things,

new clothes, why don’t you buy me some?” I would tell her, “my dear [she is

crying and sharing], if I had the money I would do it in a heartbeat, I’m not doing

it on purpose.” So, they were kids, you know. They would see other people [and

wanted them too]. God is my witness…it would hurt me so much. I would tell her

if your dad was alive, you would also have a good time/life. Life is very hard

without a father.

In the quote above again from Fereshteh’s perspective the main reason why they wouldn’t be able to buy new belongings and clothes like others was because there was no male figure in their house. In her daily life—based on her traditional and societal norms—Fereshteh believed she was lacking the main, provider, protector, and leader of the house. And she would try her best to explain to her daughters why and how they are unable to afford certain things by relating it to the lack of presence of a husband/father.

Fereshteh seemed to imply that if you have the male figure in the house, you are able to have a more (mainly economically) comfortable life.

This theme recurred throughout Fereshteh’s interview. In other words, the

Mard va Madad) in her life was not only a preflight concern for) مرد و مدد absence of

Fereshteh. In fact, when sharing her experiences and struggles throughout the early (and ongoing) phases of resettlement in the U.S., she referred to that issue again.

Fereshteh shared that once she and her daughters came here and started their resettlement process with the help a local NGO, she had interactions and conversations with other more established refugees that would worry and scare her. For instance, in the excerpt below Fereshteh shared one of her experiences with another refugee in the NGO

: مرد و مدد and again made the connection to lack of presence of

…I’ve had it up to here with her [the other refugee], she would tell me if you

don’t work, if you don’t go to ESL classes sooner, they will kick you out. I would

tell her, I don’t understand the language, this is somebody else’s country (this is a

new country)…she came here sooner than me and she also had a kid. She would

make me scared for no reason…she was a refugee too. I would ask her why do 94

you scare me. I don’t have any man and succor. Don’t say these things…I get

scared with two daughters…I have never lived here…don’t add to my misery.

As it can be seen above, Fereshteh was feeling scared and a lot of pressure from other refugees who came before her and had already went through the phases she was going through during those times. She was told she should learn and take care of few things soon, otherwise she will be “kicked out” and as a refugee who was new to the

American culture and had no English language understanding at that time, that was very stressful for her. Through her description we notice she felt vulnerable as she reiterated

Mard va Madad) and did not know how to deal with that) مرد و مدد that she did not have

Mard va) مرد و مدد and take care of her daughters. Based on her story here having a

Madad) could provide her and her children with another source of support who could advocate for them and take care of family when they face such challenges and interactions.

Interestingly enough, a while after she came to the U.S and was resettling,

Fereshteh began a relationship with a man who is back in Afghanistan and with the help of AFR staff and local mosque attendants she virtually got engaged to that man and she shared the reason she did that was because she needed something. She shared:

Fereshteh: …the reason I got engaged was because I had no other choice, because

I suffered a lot. I got engaged, why, because…my life is very hard here, because I

have to pay rent, electricity bill, I can’t do it [alone]……When I got engaged…I

didn’t pay for anything [/spend money for the ceremony], the Arab community

did it for me. Because it was going to cost money and I didn’t do it…they helped, 95

they paid for everything. And I didn’t spend one dollar, because I neither had the

money nor... Because they told me you are a widow, spend that money on your

children…

Me: …do you think presence of a man gives you the sense of safety and security?

Fereshteh: yes, to have a better life…

Here through this excerpt, Fereshteh described that she got engaged to a man, even though he is physically miles away from her, because that would help her navigate the new cultural norms, routines, and tasks that she is facing in the culture. In her

مرد و perspective she can navigate the challenges and obstacles easier due to presence of

”Mard va Madad) in her life. Additionally, Fereshteh’s description of a “better life) مدد involve feeling safe and secure, both financially (i.e., owning a house, a car) and having a support system (i.e., family, husband). She explained that her life had improved, and she was living a better life (compared to her life back home and early transitional period of resettlement). She never directly disclosed if her fiancé financially supported her but based on her description having a fiancé at least seems to emotionally provide her with a better sense of safety and security. The engagement notwithstanding, Fereshteh’s experiences were dire upon arrival in the United States; she was the single mother who pushed herself harder and improved her English more quickly and was able to acquire a job sooner than the other two women.

Mard va Madad), she was not the only) مرد و مدد While Fereshteh used the term single mother Afghan refugee who was concerned with the concept of lack of/presence of

a male figure. Nasim, the other Afghan single mother, also dealt with that issue in her own way.

Nasim. Nasim was a single mother of one son; she was born and raised in

Afghanistan but moved to Iran and Pakistan throughout her life before coming to the U.S.

Once her parents died, she went to live with her older sister and after couple of years she got married to a man who was married twice before and had kids from previous marriages. But once she got pregnant after couple of years her life became hard and challenging. Her sister-in-law told her that she should have an abortion. She recalled the story as:

…خوا هر شو هرم بهم گفت ]م یتونم ببینم[ که حامله ای. ما ]خانواده شو هر[ او⸮د تورو قبول نداریم.

بخاطر شو هرت که ۳ تا پسر داره اگه تو برای خودت ا ⸮⸮ بیاری، کی از اون ]۳ تا[ بچه ها نگهداری

میکنه. خوا هر شو هرم منو برد دکتر، دکتر ایرانی، اونا گفتن ما ا ین کارو نمیکنم، این خانوم باید جلو

گیری میکرد، اینکارو نکرده ما نمیتونیم خون بچه رو بریزیم. خ⸮صه دکتر ایرانی اینکارو نکرد.

من: چند ماهتون بود؟

نسیم: ۱ ماه. بعد اونا منو بردن خونه ی ی ه خانم بلوچ. اون بهم تریاک داد...۳-۲ روز بهم دوا دادن، ⸮

خونریزی داشتم، خ⸮صه بچه به دنی ا نیومد. بعد از ی ک مدت ، دوباره حامل شدم ...مادر شو هرم بهم گفت

اگه دختر بیاری روز اول و اخرته. من بچه پسر دوست دارم...

من: یعنی شو هرتون و خوا هرش بچه دوست نداشتن؟ ]از انور[ مادر شو هرتون بچه م ی خواست؟

نسیم: خانوادش ا ⸮ دوست نداشت، شو هرم به حرف فامیلش گوش میداد. ا ⸮ از خودش اختیار

نداشت، اختیارش دست خوا هر و مادرش بود. اون هرچی اونا میگفتن و انجام میداد. بد، شو هرم بهم گفت

اگه این بچه به دنی ا اومد برو پاکیستان و من در ایران میمونم با بچهای خودم. با خودم میگفتم من نه مادر

دارم نه پدر، من کجا برم تنها . 97

…my sister-in-law told me I can tell you are pregnant, but you should have an

abortion. We [husband’s family] do not accept your child. Your husband already

has three kids, if you bring a child of your own who will take care of his three

kids. She took me to the doctor. Doctor was Iranian. Doctor told her we will not

do that, she should have used protection, and now she is pregnant we will not kill

her baby. So, the Iranian doctor didn’t do it.

Me: How far along were you?

Nasim: 1 month. Then they took me to a Baloch1 woman’s house so she could

give me a drug like opium…they gave me drugs for 2-3 days and I was bleeding

the whole time and had an abortion. After some time, I got pregnant again…my

mother-in-law told me if you bring a daughter it will be your last day, I want a

son…

Me: So, your husband and sister-in-law didn’t want you to bring more kids? But

your mother-in-law wanted you to?

Nasim: His family didn’t want any, and my husband would listen to whatever his

family said. He didn’t have mind/opinion of his own. His sister and mother would

tell him what to do. He would do whatever they say, then my husband told me

once this kid is born you should go back to Pakistan and I live here [in Iran] with

1 Baloch women are from Baluchistan, a southern region in Iran, which also shares border with Afghanistan and Pakistan. Some of these women work as midwives or Doulas. 98

my children. I would say to myself I don’t have a mother, I don’t have a father,

where can I go all alone.

Nasim’s described how her life changed for worse once she got pregnant, particularly in light of how her husband’s family reacted. They forced her to have an abortion on her first pregnancy, but she got pregnant again. Even though they did not force her to abort her second child, they threatened her in various ways from demanding her to have a son or leave Iran and go back to Pakistan to raise the child on her own.

More importantly, Nasim shared how unfortunately her husband not only did not comfort or support her throughout the forced abortion or her pregnancy, but in fact he kept threatening and verbally and emotionally abused her. Nasim described that her husband listened to and did whatever his family asked him to do and did not fulfill his responsibility as a supportive husband or father.

مرد و مدد So, Nasim also experienced the lack of support and protection from her

(Mard va Madad) who, from traditional and cultural perspective of such counties, was supposed to be protector and provider of the family. However, we notice that within a patriarchal society/perspective such as Afghanistan, where constitutional and Islamic laws decide the gender roles, women and their rights are not considered (if not non- existent). Nasim was living in Iran with her husband and his family and was away from her sisters and only brother, therefore she did not have anyone who could support and fight for her.

Through Nasim’s story it can be understood that she further felt the lack of

Mard va Madad) when her husband told her she is) مرد و مدد support and attention of her 99

getting a second wife. She explained that at that point she really did not care about his husband anymore and all she was concerned about was her son. She explained:

My sister-in-law told me the second wife will be like your sister. Men have the

right to have up to five wives. And I said you are right. Whatever you say. I said I

don’t have any problem with either your brother or his wife. My concern is my

son. I don’t have resentment toward you, and I don’t have anyone who can hold

you accountable. If I had a support, you wouldn’t be able to do these things to me.

In excerpt above Nasim expressed to her sister-in-law that she did not care that her husband was getting a second wife and in fact, based on stories she shared throughout the interview, Nasim always treated them both with kindness and respect. Nasim took care of the three children her husband had from the previous marriage as well as the household tasks. But despite all her sacrifices and efforts Nasim was treated very badly by her husband.

Nasim shared that at some point because her husband got into argument with his second wife’s brothers, he told all of them that they should secretly flee Iran and go back to Afghanistan. They hid in the back of fuel tank truck and had to hide in mountains for days and she recalled that her husband wouldn’t try to find any water or food for the family. Nasim said, “I told my husband these are your kids, what kind of father are you.

Find them a water or something”. Once they got to Afghanistan, her husband’s violence and abuse toward her and her son escalated. He would lock them in the backyard, and they wouldn’t have anything to eat. She recalled:

100

…He would kick my son. He would drag me by my hair…he would not feed my

son for three, four days. My son’s lips were dried. He dragged us to the backyard,

and my son and I were living there. We would sleep on top of rice bags and my

son would sleep in my arm…we would hear them eating inside…my son would

say mom they are eating in there. I would say to myself god what should I do… I

would beg god to save us from that hell…

Throughout the interview Nasim described in detail how inattentive and abusive her husband got toward her and her son. And finally, he was the one who took her to a sheikh2 and asked for divorce, bribing and convincing the sheikh that Nasim does not fulfill her duties as a wife. A year after divorce in order to get away from her husband and more importantly to provide her son with the best life and opportunities, she decided to seek refuge. Her traumatic and dark experience with her husband, who was supposed

Mard va Madad), made her resentful and scared of all men. She shared) مرد و مدد to be her she was reluctant to enter the office that was center of refugees’ application in Pakistan as she recalled:

My landlord’s daughter, who had sought refuge in Australia herself, told me if

you are scared of living here, I can take you to the office. I told her I am scared of

the men, scared of the men in the office. She told me they are not going to hurt

you; they will take care of your application process. They are not going to hurt

you, I’ll come with you…

2 Sheikh is a religious leader or head of a tribe in Muslim communities. 101

In the quote above Nasim shared the extent to which her husband’s abuse impacted her perception of men, making it very hard for her to able to trust them, even in everyday situations where they were the ones who could assist her. It took a push and reassurance from the landlord’s daughter for her to be able to be comfortable to go to an office full of men. According to her stories, considering and despite what all Nasim has

Mard va) مرد و مدد gone through, especially in regards to her relation to the unsupportive

Madad) in her life who did not fulfill his roles and responsibilities that she (culturally and personally) expected him to do, she has been resilient throughout all phases of her life.

When discussing her current situation throughout her resettlement phases, her

Mard) مرد و مدد description showed a glimpse of how she copes with lack of presence of a va Madad) in her and her son’s life. She shared:

I feel lonely sometimes, I get bored and impatient, sometimes I tell my son that I

sacrificed a lot for you. But he is my child, I did not have any other choice. I left

my family and sisters back home and came here…I am carrying the weight of life

and sorrow. I am the male figure working outside and the housewife working

inside of the house….I don’t know what is going to happen in the future…but I

tell myself god is great…

In the above excerpt Nasim explained that that she had no choice but to fulfill different roles, as the sole breadwinner of house as well as the individual taking care of all the household tasks. These are roles and tasks that in more traditional and patriarchal societies (such her home country) would have been assigned to a man. Her daily routines

102

and tasks here differed from those of her country of origin. In the United States, as

Afghan single mother, she has to wear many hats.

In fact, both Fereshteh and Nasim, the two single mothers interviewed for this project, have taken on roles that culturally and socially are defined for the opposite sexes

Mard va) مرد و مدد in their country. They both have dealt with the lack of/presence of

Madad) in their own way. In Fereshteh’s case, she very early on in her marriage became a widow and endured a lot of pain and abuse due to the fact that her husband or any other male figure was not present in her life. In Nasim’s case, even though she had her husband, she endured a lot of abuse and violence due to the presence of that man. Each of these women in their own way dealt with lack of presence of a supportive and protective male figure and saw no choice but to flee their country in order to set themselves free from dangerous situations and build a better life for their children. Throughout their resettlement phase in the U.S. they are also dealing with the lack of presence of man in their life, especially within the new social and cultural norms and traditions of this new country they now call home.

Different, yet in some ways similar, to what Fereshteh and Nasim have experienced this concept, Zinat, a married mother of five, have had her own experiences

.(Mard va Madad) مرد و مدد and challenges regarding the presence of

Zinat. Zinat was born and raised in Afghanistan and got married at a young age; she has five children with her husband. She and her family saw no choice but to flee

“because Afghanistan was a warn-torn country, and we couldn’t live there anymore.

Taliban had taken over country. My brothers got martyred (Shahid), and we couldn’t take 103

(Mard va Madad) مرد و مدد it anymore, so went to Pakistan.” The relation of Zinat to concept is different because she is married, and her husband has been the breadwinner of the house, so he is physically present in Zinat and her family’s life and he fulfills his social responsibilities. And according to her stories, descriptions of AFR liaisons, and my own observation and interaction with this family, Zinat’s husband is in fact in every sense of the word the head of the household. He is the leader, decision-maker, and provider of

Mard va) مرد و مدد the house; so in many fundamental ways, he is the present and active

Madad). However, the main point of concern for Zinat that she shared throughout her interview is the fact that her husband is sick and has health issues. She discussed that when they were back home her husband had motorcycle accident, and he had to have surgery and stay in the hospital for 45 days. She explains:

…وقتی پاکیستان بودیم، شو هرم میرفت سر میدون کار میکرد ] با موتورش[ و ] چیزی که داشت جا به جا

میکرد[ افتاد روی پاش و لهش کرد. ما بردیمش بیمارستان و اون باید عمل می شد... و اون ۴۵ روز در

بیمارستان بود...من سختترین تجربه زندگیم مال اون روزاست )گریه ش میگیره( و هیچ وقت فراموش

نمیکنم...برای اینکه من اون زمان لقمه نداشتم بدم بچه هام. شو هرم مریض بود تو بیمارستان...

…When we were in Pakistan, my husband would work on the square3 [with his

motorcycle] and [thing he was transporting] fell on this leg and crushed it. We

3 In countries such as Pakistan and Afghanistan self-employed workers hang around main squares of town to be hired by people for manual labor or transporting goods (if they own a vehicle or motorcycle) for an hourly wage.

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took him to the hospital and he had to have operation…and he was in the hospital

for 45 days…I had the worst memories from those days (she chokes up) and I will

never forget it…because I did not have any food to give my children during those

times. My husband was sick in the hospital…

Zinat here described how difficult it was for her and her family when the breadwinner of the house was at hospital she and her children struggled to earn income and even have food to eat. Further in the interview she shared that because of her husband’s current illness he is not able to consistently go to work here in the U.S. and she explains that impacts her family:

You [as a refugee] cannot not work in the U.S. Even if my husband, who is sick,

does not go to work it will break the family. We won’t be able to pay the rent.

Then I have no choice but to go to street 4and work there.

Above Zinat explaind that one of the most challenging issues is the fact that her

Mard va Madad) is in fact sick and when he is not able to go to work the family) مرد و مدد livelihood will be jeopardized. She worries about her husband’s illness and the ways it impacts accomplishing daily and monthly tasks and routines that help the family progress, such as going to work, paying for rent and utilities, pay for children’s school,

Mard) مرد و مدد etc. Throughout the interview, Zinat voiced concern about days that her va Madad) was not able to work and how hard those times were on the family. She

4 In such cultures/societies this phrase means becoming a hand seller, peddler, or panhandler in the street (and not like the meaning of this phrase in Western culture, which is prostitution). 105

shared that recently her husband had an eye injury that happened because of an accident on his job and he couldn’t work for few days. She recalled:

When my husband got sick [an injury] and had to stay home… [mentally] it was

so hard for me and I was under so much pressure and was worrying a lot…when

he had that eye injury…when that happened I was so worried and distressed. I felt

like my brain was on fire and had to go to the doctor, the doctor told me that you

have stressed yourself so much. What have you done to yourself?

When Zinat’s husband was not able to go to work because of that eye injury she was again stressed about their life situation. So, through these excerpts it can be seen that

Mard va Madad) in) مرد و مدد even though compared to Fereshteh and Nasim, Zinat has her life, due to the fact that her husband has illness and not always able to bring steady income, she is in some ways similarly worried about what is going to happen to her and her five children. Unlike Fereshteh and Nasim, Zinat has mid- and late- teenagers in her household who can take part time jobs while attending school. But, Zinat shared that after her son got fired last year from his job, she tried to talk to the employer to ask them to hire him back, but they did not do it. She explained:

…I never really understood what happened, they called me from the CRR5 and

they told me he got fired. I think he wrote “I love Afghanistan” on something...

Me: They fired him because he wrote that?

5 Christians for Refugee Resettlement (Pseudonym for the NGO located in the town next to where AFR is) 106

Zinat: Yeah, I never really understood why they fired him. I went to the boss and I

told him we are poor, we are a big family, I told them my husband is sick, we

won’t be able to pay our rent, take my son back. But they told me if the CRR

helps, we might be able to do something, if not we can’t hire your son back.

Through the quote above gives a better understanding of how valuable it is for this woman, just like other two women, to have male figures in the house who are able to protect and provide for their family.

But, similar to Fereshteh and Nasim’s situation, Zinat also shared that she is hoping to find a job in future in order to be able to also provide for her family now that her husband is sick. She shared what she has been doing to prepare herself for job and what are her main concerns:

…I bought a computer last year for $150. I bought it so I can learn English. I

don’t have any other choice. My husband is sick, and he can’t do it [all the time].

I should be able to take charge of me and my children’s lives. I don’t have a

choice, there is no other way…

Zinat shared that she knows that her husband might not be able to work forever due to his illness and she believes it is on her to (also) take on the role of provider. But, she also discussed that she is illiterate and does not understand English very well and as such she is not able to get jobs right away. So, even though there is a man physically present in Zinat’s household, he is not a consistent provider because of his illness.

Therefore, she and her family’s life in the U.S. is uncertain and insecure because she anticipates needing to take on new social roles and responsibilities in the new future, but 107

that depends on her speedy progress in learning the new everyday roles and routines on her own.

In fact, the issue of illiteracy and limited English language understanding is a shared concern among all these refugee women. But, in Fereshteh’s and Nasim’s cases, who are single mothers—as Nasim puts it, “male figure working outside and the housewife working inside”— they had no choice but to push themselves and learn the basic English as soon as they could to get jobs and provide for their family. This concept has been among other issues challenging each woman’s road to independence throughout the early phases of resettlement here in the U.S.

Illiteracy and English Language (Im)Proficiency

According to these three women, their lack of education and English language proficiency was/has been one of the most challenging part of their resettlement. Each of these women had their own experiences of dealing with impact of illiteracy and limited

English understanding. For instance, Fereshteh shared that the biggest challenges of early phases of resettlement for her was “not having my mother and family with me and

English language”. During another part of the interview she shared again how right at beginning of when she came to her town of entry to the U.S., some of the established refugees (or NGO staff of neighboring town, where she resided in early on, it is not completely clear which one she is referring to in this part of the interview) would make her worried about not knowing the language or not going to work right away. She shared:

…It was during winter [when I came]. I would say to myself what should I do. I

didn’t understand anything. They would tell me you should go to work and make 108

money and pay your rent. I would say I don’t know the language, I don’t know

anyone, what should I do. If you find me a job, I’ll do it. I don’t know the

language; I don’t know the country [yet]. I don’t understand it on my own…why

do you make me worried me so much…I don’t know the ways yet…

Fereshteh described that when she came to the U.S. how hard it was for her to understand other Afghan refugees or translators who spoke Farsi as well as English speakers. Because Fereshteh’ first language was Pashtoo (one of the languages of

Afghanistan) and when she came here and started to interact with other Afghan women

(who spoke Dari, the other language of Afghanistan) and Farsi translators, she saw no choice but to learn and practice Dari so that she can communicate with people who she was becoming friends with or could help her. She recalled her initial challenges:

….When I came to the first town, I did not know the language, I did not know

anything. Other Afghan women were there, the Farsi speakers, they were from

Kabul you know, so I couldn’t understand what they were saying. At the time I

hadn’t done my vaccines yet…because here if you don’t do your vaccines you

can’t go to your Maktab6 [ESL classes]. They didn’t do my vaccines for a month.

After a month they did my vaccines and then I went to my classes for English…

So, Fereshteh had to learn two languages, Dari and English, in the early phases of her resettlement so she could become part of a community and understand the different aspects of the new country. She explained:

6 Place of study; School 109

I was a Pashtoo speaker, I didn’t know Farsi, I noticed they all [refugees and

translators] speak Farsi and I couldn’t understand what they were saying. With

god’s help I learned the language… and my English teacher would joke if you

learned English as easy/quickly as Dari it would have been great (she laughs). But

I improved my English over time…

She shared that when she moved to the current town where AFR is, she got to attend her ESL classes more regularly and improve her English. She explained that “in comparison to [my time during my stay in] the first town I improved my English and got to find a job”, which from herself and her liaison’s point of view it is one of her greatest achievements.

In Nasim’s case, she also shared that she suffered a lot due to the fact that she was illiterate. Nasim described: “current issues for me are [limited] English understanding and loneliness”. She explained when she was back home and her husband threatened her with divorce, her main concern was that because of her illiteracy she couldn’t figure out if based on Islamic laws she would be able to take custody of her son. She shared:

(she is crying) I went to them…I told them [the office of refugee application]

these are my issues. They said what are you asking us…I said I need your help to

give my son a safe haven. My husband and his family have money, power, and

people [/connections], I’m scared they are going to take my child away from me. I

took my divorce papers to different people to figure out if after seven years I will

get the child, or they are going to have him. I couldn’t find anyone to explain this

to me, I couldn’t find a Muslim (/god fearing person) to tell me if after seven 110

years the child will be mine or his. I was scared. I was illiterate myself, [it was as

if] I was blind, I couldn’t understand. I would ask god what I should do. I took

them [papers] to Sheikh, to Mola, or my sister’s children and would ask them to

read the papers, [and explain to me] what will happen to my child…

The excerpt above illustrates how Nasim’s life was affected by her illiteracy when she was trying to understand and fight for her son’s custody, which was (and continues to be) a challenging issue for women in countries with Islamic laws. She had a hard time finding an individual who could explain and guide her through the rules and laws written in the divorce papers regarding child’s custody in Pakistan.

When talking about her difficult part of resettlement phases here in the U.S.,

Nasim mentioned that being illiterate and not able to speak the English language were the most challenging parts:

Me: How do you feel about living in the U.S. now?

Nasim: America is great. I have not experienced anything bad. I came here three

years ago. AFR people have been very helpful. I appreciate them. They enrolled

us in [ESL] classes. I am thankful for their guidance. They have helped a lot. The

issue is from my end. I don’t know the language. The problem is from my side

that I am illiterate…I go to work…and when I want to talk to people, I use signs

and gestures to communicate with them…when you don’t know the language and

they bring you paper work for you to sign, you are illiterate, you don’t know.

When you want to sign it, you are scared. And if you don’t sign it you might run

into problems. They have told me there is a lot of paperwork in the U.S. I 111

personally keep the receipt for just even one apple that I buy, I’m scared you

know…

In the quote above Nasim shared that her main concern was her lack of education and capacity to speak English; as such, she had a hard time communicating with people.

She explained that she was appreciative for the help of AFR and thought that it was her responsibility that she had not improved greatly in English language. She also shared that sometimes she was scared to sign papers, because she did not fully know what those papers contained and what she was agreeing to by signing her name. However, she also tried to trust her liaisons. Sometimes taking care of daily and monthly routines and tasks was very challenging for her because she was not able to complete those tasks completely on her own considering her illiteracy and English improficiency. Interestingly, when I asked her about the best part of living in the U.S., she again mentioned the education, but this time she spoke about the opportunities for her son:

Me: What is the best part of living in the U.S. that you personally love?

Nasim: The best part is that we are here [safe and sound]. My son can get a great

education. I always tell him listen to what your teacher says…it will be great for

your own future…

In this excerpt, Nasim illustrated how she valued education, especially for her son, so that he could be successful in life. She explained that she appreciated the work of his teachers and especially the liaisons who were very close to her son and “checks on him, reads book for him, and is [lovingly] hard on him”.

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Out of these three women, it seemed that Zinat discussed and found illiteracy and lack of English language understanding the most challenging. Early in interview she also mentioned their biggest challenge for her and her husband here. She explained:

Our life is good here, thank god. The biggest hardship in our life is our illiteracy.

One of our biggest problem here is our illiteracy. And my husband is sick. Other

than those two we don’t have any other issue here in the U.S….

In this excerpt, Zinat shared the most challenging aspects of their resettlement journey here in the U.S. Their illiteracy and her husband’s sickness are the two issues that she shares right away. Throughout the rest of the interview, the concern of illiteracy and lack of English proficiency came up many times. For instance, when discussing the difference between her country and U.S. she explained how not knowing English has impacted her daily life and communication in the outside world. She shared:

Here you have to do everything on time, you have to go to doctor’s appointment

on time. If your appointment gets canceled the doctor will not see you (/welcome

you). You must go to work right on time. It is very different from my country.

Specially if you don’t know the language it becomes very hard. I personally don’t

know English and I can’t [do anything]. And if someone isn’t there, like my

oldest child, to translate I can’t understand. Like when I have to set up doctor’s

appointment…There have been couple of times that my appointments got

canceled. I don’t have the education and language knowledge. If you don’t know

the language, if you are illiterate, the challenges become more and harder.

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In the quote above Zinat shared how not knowing the language has impacted her daily life and she have had to rely on other people, such as NGO’s liaisons or her oldest child, to help her do things. She further explained:

Here if you know the language, you can do anything. Anywhere you go you can

ask questions. If you go to doctors, if you got to social security office, you could

ask CRR questions. When you don’t know the language, it will be hard to get

anything done…

Again, in this quote above Zinat shared in detail how and in what ways her life and completing everyday tasks can get easier if she has a more advanced English language understanding.

According to the stories that all these three women shared illiteracy and lack of education really impacted their lives throughout their resettlement journey. Zinat was the one who discussed this issue as her (/her family’s) main challenge, but she had her children, who are now almost fluent in English language, to rely on as one source.

Meanwhile, the two single mothers, apart from their liaisons, at first had no one else to rely on to take charge of the communication aspect of their family. Fereshteh and Nasim, had their own difficulty of learning the English language. But because they had no choice but to go out and be the sole breadwinner of their family, they had the opportunities to improve their English faster. In their case, their young children have also become quickly fluent in the English language and have helped their mothers in any ways they could.

Each of these women in their way have had struggles communicating in the language of their new home, but another challenge brought up by all of them has been the role that 114

NGOs have played in their lives and the challenges which they have faced working and communicating with them.

Support of Local NGOs

When discussing their ups and downs of resettlement journey in the U.S. the advocacy work of local NGOs were brought up by all these women. Each of these women had their similar yet different experiences of working and receiving assistance from NGOs. There were similarities because there are similar steps that should be taken throughout refugees’ resettlement phases, but there are differences because each of these women (and their family) have different circumstances, family dynamic, needs, abilities, etc. From the description of these women, this subtheme will be divided and discussed into two sub-subthemes: (i) experience of working with each NGO and (ii) refugees’ expectations and concerns. Before discussing each of these sub-subthemes I will first provide a context of what each of these NGOs are and how they operate.

AFR is the local NGO which was established by group of volunteers who wanted to help refugees. There are some basic elements funded by government (such as social security money or food stamps) but it is mostly funded by the sponsors wanting to assist refugees. The liaisons assigned to each refugee family have been very involved in their day to day life, helping them in various ways for the past two three years, as the refugees get accustomed to the cultural norms and daily routines of the new culture. They have paid for refugees’ housing for the past two to three years and recently informed refugees that can no longer do that due to both funding and the intention to help refugees become independent. 115

CRR is a Catholic charity solely funded and regulated by the government which, within the first weeks of refugees’ arrival, enrolls them in a month-long workshop/training program, teaching them all the necessary information about the new culture (such as basic English language, legal concepts, cultural norms, job training, etc.).

CRR finds refugee families affordable housing right away and jobs that match their skills upon completion of their training. But after that first month, refugees will mostly navigate things on their own and the CRR will be available to them during weekly office hours (unlike AFR liaisons who are available almost 24/7). Also, due to government

(President Trump’s administration) budget cuts, there is only one liaison/caseworker handling all the issues of Afghan refugees within CRR (compared to AFR where each family has at least one liaison working with them).

Experience of Working with Each NGO. Each of these NGOs, while both with the common goal of providing a smoother transition for refugees into the new culture, have different approaches toward helping refugees throughout the resettlement and learning everyday routines and tasks. All these three women have experienced working and getting support from both of these local NGOs, whether at the beginning of their arrival or currently. However, both Fereshteh and Zinat in some ways compared and contrasted AFR and CRR, especially in regard to the types of help and support they have been able to provide for them.

According to Fereshteh, when she first came, she lived in the town where CRR was handling refugee cases. She explained that she did not have the best experience working and communicating with the CRR liaisons/translators. She explained that 116

(apparently after completion of training) they told her that she should find jobs and she would try to explain to them that is she was not ready yet and did not know what to do.

She shared:

…I told them I came her with two children to solve my issues. Why do you do

this to me (/add to my sorrow). Send me back home to Pakistan, where he

[brother-in-law] can kill me. You don’t like me, so let him kill us. You don’t want

us here. If I go back, he’ll kill us. My life got very hard there for [the first] one-

two months….

Here Fereshteh expressed that she felt very scared and vulnerable considering how fast they were trying to encourage her to get a job and rely on herself right away.

From the description above, she felt that their push was only making her having no choice but to go back, which was also not the ideal option, considering her brother-in- law’s abuse. After two months she moved to the town where AFR is and she explains that her situation got better. She shared:

When I came here, thank god we are happy here. Because when we were there,

they helped us for two months after two months they said you should pay for your

things. I didn’t have money, I wasn’t working, I didn’t know anything…I got

sick…because they kept telling me we are not paying for rent, we can’t pay for

you anymore…I got so upset…I got upset because of them a lot…I had to go to

the ER…

Here Fereshteh described that she did not have a positive experience working with

CRR since they told her they cannot continue paying for her rent and bills. And that 117

made her very upset as she was new to the culture or language and was not ready yet to independently take care of her family. She explains that AFR, on the other hand, took care of many aspects for a longer time. She explained:

AFR have helped me a lot, they have paid for rent, electricity bill, cellphone. I am

happy with AFR. They have helped me a lot, contrary to CRR, AFR helped me a

lot. I am happy here. My English improved compared to when I was in next town,

I got to improve my English here a lot. They found me a job…

In contrast to the previous quote, Fereshteh here described that she is very happy with how AFR has helped here in the past two years. However, at the time of this interview it was a while since AFR also told refugees that they can no longer pay for everything now that they have been working for a while:

Me: So they still pay for your rent and utilities, or take you to doctors…?

Fereshteh: …they don’t help anymore [with everything]…the rent and other

things we pay half and half, they said we’ll pay for half of it and I said ok. I don’t

understand how it all works. I don’t get the social security money…I don’t know

how that works either…nobody have told me about it…they told me they will

save that money, but I wonder where is that money saved, where is it, give it to

me so I can use it for my children, buy them clothes, improve my life….

The excerpt above is one of the many examples that show that, based on my observations and interviews, there seems to be a misunderstanding or communication between AFR and refugees. Recently AFR decided to cut down some of the funding/assistance money now that refugees are becoming more familiar with the culture, 118

norms, and daily tasks. And based on my interviews and conversation with liaisons, they have tried many times to explain to refugees how they are changing and transitioning to the new system. But when I talked to refugees, there seems to be still confusion and lack of knowledge about how things work and what they can/cannot or will/will not receive from AFR. In the next chapter I will discuss this issue more from AFR/liaisons’ perspective, but from these women’s descriptions, they are still not familiar with all necessary information about daily/monthly tasks and routines. For instance, Fereshteh further shared that she is still having hard time getting around in the town or understanding the banking system in the U.S. She shared:

…one time my liaison told me that a woman will come and give you a ride from

work to home. I came out and I couldn’t find her…I said to myself…I don’t know

here completely…I started crying and walking…I asked a woman where the bus

stop is, she told me I don’t know… I said oh god! What is going to happen to my

children…I was lost, I didn’t know what to do…I still don’t know the roads here

[in this town]…I want them to show me the road, the bus road…[another thing

that] to this day I still don’t know is the [ATM] machine for cards, you know the

cards, because in Pakistan we would use money in cash, here there are bank cards,

[my liaison] has tried to help me learn them, she tries a lot…I want to learn but

because of the trauma to my head, I learn with difficulty…but I try my best…

Fereshteh shared that understanding transportation and bank system here in the

U.S. are among the things that she is still having issues understanding. And she has had to rely on AFR to help her learn how these new everyday concepts, tasks, and systems 119

work/should work. She acknowledged and appreciated the work and help of her liaisons but she explained that due to the trauma that she endured back in Pakistan with her brother-in-law, learning new things in a new culture can be difficult or take some time for her.

Nasim also lived in the town where CRR is situated for three months and then moved to the town where AFR is, but throughout the interview she does not share any negative experience working with CRR. In fact, she shared:

…I came here and I was in that town for three months and then we came to this

town…I am thankful, I appreciate what they have done, I hope god gives them all

the blessing…they provided a safe haven to my son…I will never forget their

kindness…I am willing to do anything for U.S. and American people [who helped

us]…

She later added:

If god help me, I will work as long as my arms and legs will function, CRR

helped me for three months, AFR has helped me for the past three years. AFR

pays for [portion of] my rent and electricity. I have been going to work for a while

now…

In the quotes above we notice how Nasim is grateful for the help and guidance of the NGOs who have helped her and her son. And throughout the interview she shared nothing but positive aspects about them. She shared that she wants to become more independent and sometimes is not happy when her progress is not fast. She explained:

120

…I don’t like to know somebody is doing something for me because they are

under pressure (/obligation). I’d like to do most of things on my own when I can.

When someone does so much for me, I get embarrassed. I ask myself why I am so

weak, individuals should stand on their own feet…

In the above quote, Nasim does not like it when liaisons do so much for her, especially when she gets the feeling that liaisons feel they are doing too much. In other words, it seems that she does not like to be beholden to others. Similar to Fereshteh, one area that Nasim shared that she still does not really how it works is the banking system.

She explained:

…the bank stuff, when you take out money, in Afghanistan and our countries you

give cash and you buy stuff. The card bank was new and interesting to me, the

food stamps (/coupon) was interesting [when I first came]…I go to work and I

know how much I should be paid, and if I go late how much that will be. But if I

had the money in cash, I could divide it and say ok this amount is for this day and

this amount for second day. But I go to work, and the money is sent to my card, I

don’t know where the money come from and where is it going. I have no idea

how much money is in there. This is stressful. I tell my liaison please check my

card and see if I have been paid. She writes on a piece of paper and gives it to me

and says this is how much you have. I don’t understand it even when its written, I

don’t know the language to understand…

Nasim explained that understanding the banking and working with credit and debit card is a challenge for her, because back in Afghanistan and Pakistan people buy 121

and sell things in cash. So, they are used to having the money (hidden) in their house or pockets so they can manage their spending on a daily and monthly basis.

Zinat and her family first lived in the town where AFR is and then moved to the neighboring town where CRR is. So, she also experienced working with both of these local NGOs, but in the opposite order. To provide a little context of this family, while they were in the first, similar with other refugees, AFR helped them with rent and other utilities for the first three years and because this was a big family, AFR director provided the father with a motorcycle. But after AFR told the families they will no longer be able to pay for the entire rent and other things, the husband decided to move the family to the neighboring town. The AFR director told them if you move there you will not have the help and resources that you have here and unfortunately we will not be able to let you take the motorcycle with you. Therefore, Zinat’s husband and AFR got into a disagreement and did not part amicably. Zinat describes the experience working with

AFR this way:

AFR helped us a lot, they made doctors’ appointment for us, took us to doctors,

found us jobs, took us shopping. They helped a lot; we were there for two

years…they paid our rent. But they did us wrong [toward the end], they took the

motorcycle away. When that happened my husband and they got into

disagreement. They told us you shouldn’t go. But the house rental price is high

there, if that was not the case we would have stayed there. The house was big and

clean, the school, and grocery store were all close.

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Here, based on Zinat’s description we notice that they are grateful for the help that AFR provided for them but at the same time they feel bitter that things were taken away from them once they moved to the other town. On the other hand, Zinat’s description throughout the rest of the interview shows that she and her family are not receiving similar support from CRR as they did from AFR now they have moved there.

She explained that “once we came here nobody helps us anymore”. When describing the incident where her son got fired from his job because he wrote “I love Afghanistan”, she recalled that she went to CRR for their help:

…They told me if CRR does something we might be able to hire him back,

otherwise [we won’t be able to do anything]. I went to the woman who was

working for CRR, I told her to ask them to hire my son back, he made a mistake. I

told her there is nothing I can do [myself]. I told her you are educated, whatever

you can do or say and I will do it as well. If I was literate myself…I wouldn’t

have asked you…she said I can’t do anything. She asked why did he do it, and I

said he is young, he didn’t know any better…he didn’t know the rules of this

country…

This story shows that this family has not been able to receive the similar level of hands-on advocacy from CRR they way they did with AFR. And because in many ways they were (and still are) used to the scope and nature of advocacy work that AFR provides, they found the transition to the new town still challenging. So, in many minor and major ways, Zinat and her family were dependent on these NGOs to help them figure out and correct issues resulting from lack of cultural knowledge. 123

She later shared that she went to the CRR caseworker responsible for Afghan refugees, Ezat, and asked him to talk to the AFR because “…we don’t have the money to buy our family a motorcycle. I went to Ezat and told him help me like I am your sister.

Please ask AFR director to give us the motorcycle back”. Considering his previous conversation with Zinat’s husband, AFR director did not do that and CRR, due to budget cut and scope of their advocacy work, was also not able to provide this family with any form of vehicle.

Thorough this story, Zinat described that while she and her family gained some positive elements by moving to the other town, such as finding more affordable housing, they unfortunately lost the level of support and involvement that they were receiving from AFR liaisons. Each of these women and their family in their own different ways have experienced working and receiving support from these two NGOs. And while acknowledging and appreciating all the ways NGOs/liaisons were able to help them, from their description it can be understood that there are areas where they think they could get more help and support in. In fact, in some small areas there seems to be some misunderstanding about what NGOs are able to do and help, which I argue is due to combination of certain factors such as language barriers, cultural differences, lack of experience/education, and influence of others.

Refugees’ Expectations and Concerns. Throughout each of the interviews, there were instances and discussions shared by refugees which showed that there might be some confusion or misunderstanding about what NGOs are expected to provide and what and how much they can provide. For instance, when I asked Fereshteh what are the areas 124

which she still doesn’t understand about this new culture and want to improve in, she mentioned three things:

Me: Are there concepts and tasks that you think you don’t fully understand them still?

Fereshteh: I don’t know how to write checks. I don’t have a house, [and I don’t

know] how to drive…I have been working to improve my life…my friends who

have come after me, they have bought cars, they have sold their golds and

valuable stuff, their life has improved, their house got better, they bought

lands/houses, what have I done? AFR hasn’t helped [with] and gotten me a house,

or taught me how to drive, what should I do…

Me: who helped who? Who gave money to who, sorry?

Fereshteh: I have friends who came after me…they are in New Jersey.

Me: They have bought [these things] or NGOs gave those to them?

Fereshteh: the people…like AFR,

Me: They bought them a house, in their name?

Fereshteh: Yes, there is another woman in the neighboring town and she also

bought a house. She also came as a refugee with children and doesn’t have

husband. Her daughters also work, she works, they bought a house…what have I

done, I go with the bus, I work, and come back with bus.

In this excerpt Fereshteh compared her life, its improvement, and level of support she has received to that of other refugees and NGOs in neighboring towns and other states. Based on my observation and conversation with both NGOs, I have noticed that 125

refugees talk to each other and they compare the support they each have received with each other. And due to lack of education and understanding, and because this is also the first time for them being a refugee, they do not fully know the system of the new society.

In this incident, Fereshteh herself mentioned that the family in New Jersey sold gold and other valuable things to buy a house (if that is really the case, since I have no other source to confirm that with) and she did not/does not have that resource to do that, but she still compared her life situation to other refugees. And she further mentioned the role of

NGOs in assisting the refugee friends in buying a house and implied that the AFR could help her more in that regard. In general, I have noticed that when they have incorrect and/or incomplete information about resettlement process of other refugees, and they compare and contrast their lives and level of its improvement to others these issues come up. For instance, if a family of two, based on housing rules and regulations, was able to move into an one-bedroom apartment which has cheaper rent, the other refugee family of three had asked the liaisons why they can not also move into a one-bedroom and pay less.

And the liaisons had to explain that the rental complexes have rules and limitations for the number of tenants within an apartment and that is why they (the family of three) can only go to a two-bedroom apartment, which is a little more expensive that than a one- bedroom.

While Nasim shared that she asked AFR to provide her with a motorcycle because that is a necessity for her and “that is lacking in my life” as well as someone who speaks the same language as her and can watch her son before she gets home, Zinat has had a

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much more direct request. She shared that she went to the CRR caseworker and asked him:

…I said it is my luck that I don’t have the money to buy a motorcycle and if I had

another option, I wouldn’t ask you for this. I have been here for three years.

Nobody in all the U.S. does live without motorcycle [/car], but we have. I go

everywhere with the bus. From dusk to dawn….

In this excerpt we notice the perception of Zinat about having a motorcycle and how in her view everybody has to have/has a motorcycle or any vehicle. And in their case, since they got their motorcycle through AFR and then lost it due to their move, it is very hard for her family to adjust to not having any form of personal vehicle for transportation. This can be combination of a little miscommunication among AFR director and this family at the time when he first gave the motorcycle to them and did not necessarily mentioned that if you in the future leave I will have to get the motorcycle back. So, he gave it to them and once they decided to leave AFR director had to let them know that the motorcycle is a AFR resource and while they are in this town they get the direct support of AFR. Also, this can be due to cultural difference in norms about giving and lending goods in countries such as Afghanistan compared to the U.S. In such countries once people decide to give/lend each other things, culturally they feel a little hesitant to ask to get the item/good back because they think it is not appropriate. And it can be assumed that part of the Zinat’s confusion and frustration can come from the shock of them of having to give back something they were given.

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For all these three women, Fereshteh, Nasim, and Zinat, it was the first time they became refugees and experience that identity. They have never gone through the process of resettlement in a totally different culture as refugees. So, on so many levels they also had to learn and understand the scope and level of their agency, capability, and available resources as they were moving through different phases of resettlement in the new country. The fact that they are all illiterate and have limited English can make it more complicated to understand the process, new cultural norms, tasks, and routines quickly and right away. None of these women has ill-intentions and their expectation has been shaped based on their experience of receiving so much help from the NGOs in various areas for a long time. Their experience so far with the level of help they have received have directly affected their perception of what can/should be done for them. Moreover, I believe the fact that these two NGOs have different approach toward assisting and advocating for refugees is another reason for this confusion, misunderstanding, and expectations. Because, once they get to know and get used to the approach of one of these

NGOs, especially the one which provides more, it becomes very hard for them to adjust to the other one’s level of involvement. I further argue that their expectation is also impacted by the fact that they talk to other refugees and they continuously compare their circumstance and progress to that of other refugees, because on paper they are all under the umbrella term of refugees, even though each refugee person or family is different from the other (even in the same town) or may be helped by different NGOs in other states.

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These three women, similarly, yet in various ways have endured difficulties in

Mard va Madad) prior to fleeing their) مرد و مدد their lives due to lack of/presence of country. But their difficulties did not stop there, in fact, throughout their resettlement phases here in the U.S. each of them is facing challenges due to that concept as well as other issues. Some of those issues are continuation/the result of the issues they had back home, such as trauma and lack of education, while others are unique within the new culture, such as English language proficiency and new complicated daily and monthly tasks and responsibilities, which all impact the everyday lives of these refugees in great extent.

In the following chapter I will further examine AFR liaisons’ experiences and roles in working with refugees as they navigate those challenges throughout the early phases of resettlement.

Chapter Summary

In sum, to address the first research three salient themes emerged and were

-Mard va Madad), (b) illiteracy and English language(im) مرد ومد (discussed: (a

)proficiency, and (c) support of local NGO. The first theme showed that lack of/presence of a man in these women’s lives significantly influences their lives as they associated a sense of safety and security in regard to having a present and active in their lives. But, it also showed that despite and considering the lack of/presence of a man these women have taken on new roles, persevered, and have (re)building their lives the best way they can.

The second theme presented the additional challenges that these women have faced due to illiteracy and English language (im-)proficiency. And lastly, the final theme and its 129

subthemes (experience of working with each NGO and refugees’ expectation and concern) pointed out the ups and downs of refugees’ experience of working with AFR from their perspective. In the following chapter, I will address the findings of the second research question and its salient themes.

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Chapter 6: NGO Volunteers’ Role in the Early Phases of Refugees’ Resettlement

Chapter Overview

In the following chapter I will discuss the emergent themes I identified in my analysis of AFR volunteers’/liaisons’ stories and their description of their role in helping refugees throughout the early phases of their resettlement. My second research question asked: How do volunteers and staff from this NGO work alongside/work with these women as they manage their everyday routines? The goal through posing this research question was to investigate how and in what ways liaisons have been able to provide support for refugee families and provide insight into the rewards and challenges which come with these relationships. In response to my research question, AFR liaisons’ experiences can be understood as a woven relationship. Within this woven relationship there is one specific metaphor that captures the relationship between liaisons and refugees, which can describe its facets and dimensions and that is a parent-child relationship. Next, I discuss the definition of my overarching theme, woven relationship, followed by offering examples to illustrate the elements and dimensions within this relationship.

Woven Relationship

When talking with liaisons so many terms and concepts were used by them to describe their relationship with the refugees. One of the terms used by one of the liaisons to explain their relationship was “woven family.” In many ways this term encompassed the descriptions used by other liaisons as well, describing the relationship between volunteers and liaisons. But before moving to explaining what the woven relationship 131

means, it is important first to provide a context of how liaisons and refugees get introduced to each other and develop their relationship.

This NGO, AFR, was created by group of kind-hearted individuals who were concerned about the refugee crisis and the new administration’s (the Trump administration) approach toward the refugees and decided to establish this refugee- advocacy organization and help refugees in any way they could. While AFR received some information and advice from the NGOs in the neighboring towns and within that state, they created and came up with their own approach. Based on the conversations with the AFR director and other liaisons, none of the people involved necessarily had expert knowledge in the refugee resettlement process, but they educated themselves about the basic guidelines and then worked on their own and as an NGO to figure out the rest along the way. Further, through their connections and networks (e.g. church, community) they recruited other people who were eager to help and established this NGO in 2017 and within couple of months welcomed the first few refugee families. Upon the arrival of each refugee family, one or two liaisons were assigned to work with and assist that particular family throughout their early phases of resettlement in the U.S.

While some liaisons rotated within different refugee families or were not able to continue their work within the NGO due personal reasons, most liaisons have remained with original families to whom they were assigned and have continued to assist the families with the help of the translators. Liaisons are immensely involved in the lives of refugees since they teach and assist refugees as they (refugees) settle in the new country and culture and have to navigate its ups and downs. The high level of involvement and 132

proximity on a daily basis throughout the first weeks and months of refugees’ arrival, from enrolling refugees in ESL classes, tutoring them and their children, taking and helping them with doctor’s appointment, making sure they take their daily medication, to teaching them about legal, government aid, and financial concepts in the U.S., makes these two groups (liaisons and refugees) grow closer. Perhaps unsurprisingly, based on the nature and intensity of their advocacy work, liaisons and refugees develop a close bond. But, the close relationship between liaisons and refugees did not happen immediately and it required certain elements.

Trust is one of the fundamental aspects of any relationship. This feature is one of the most critical and delicate concepts when it comes to refugees as well. Again, due to constant presence in each other lives in the early stages of resettlement, liaisons and refugees have formed a close bond. However, the feeling of trust did not happen overnight, and it took some time for refugees to be able to trust their liaisons. Personally, as both the volunteer and researcher working with these refugee women, my familiarity with cultures similar to the culture where these Afghan women came from benefited me significantly in my efforts to build trust and rapport. Those were especially true in contexts and instances where I had to be aware of my position within refugees’ everyday lives, habits, cultural norms, behaviors, and dos and don’ts, which could help me show my good intentions to them, show my familiarity with and respect toward their culture, help me get closer to them, and ultimately gain their trust. For instance, when I first visited each of these refugee women houses’, as part of their cultural norms and traditions, similar to my own Iranian culture, these women, as the hosts, offered a cup of 133

tea and sweets. Culturally, I was aware of the underlying meaning behind this gesture, which is beyond just offering a hot beverage to the guest; it is about them inviting me to their “home” and wanting to form a relationship and wanting to build trust. More importantly, due to my own cultural background I knew rejecting this generous offer can negatively impact on the relationship we were building together, our friendship, and their idea of my intention now as the researcher.

In another instance, when I was setting up the interviews with refugees, I would ask them to pick any time or date that would work for them, and Zinat, who lives in the neighboring town, picked a noon-afternoon (lunch time) time slot. Once I went to her house and began the interview, in the middle of the interview she stopped and told me that she has prepared lunch for us (her children, herself, and I) and wanted to start serving the food. Again, while I was completely familiar with her cultural norms I was still a little surprised to find out she was so kind to that and at the same time, as the researcher, felt a little awkward to find out she went out of her way to make two different dishes, especially since she knew I will be there as well. So, even though I felt a little uncomfortable with the idea that I am getting fed while I went to just interview her and go back home, I also knew that I could not simply reject her kind gesture and so I sat at the table and ate with them, even helping to feed her youngest daughter. Therefore, I constantly found myself moving back and forth between the insider and outsider role, while adopting these women’s cultural norms, behaviors, and experiences with the goal/hope of gaining their trust, which was a key component while working with these three women considering their past experiences. This level of comfortand trust— 134

established through both through shared cultural understanding and language—allowed me as a researcher to truly hear and understand their voice.

AFR refugees escaped very life-threatening situations and came to U.S. where they did not know anyone. Some of the refugees, such as the Afghan single mothers interviewed in this study, had to flee abusive and dangerous family members who were supposed to protect them. The betrayal of trust in their loved ones and all the trauma they have endured have affected their ability to trust. So, when they arrived in their new home, liaisons who were assigned to them had to invest the time and energy and gradually gain their trust. Therefore, both trust and involvement are key factors impacting how liaisons and refugee build their relationship. One of the liaisons, Diana, reflected on her fundamental role and the idea of trust within her work with one of the refugee families:

Well I think one of the things that I felt was my role is to make them feel safe.

And make them feel welcome. Make them feel respected. I think doing all of

those three things I could, they could begin to trust me. And once they found

someone that they could trust then, [refugees] began to make progress.

Nina, one of the volunteers who works alongside a (main) liaison as a translator described how being fluent in the similar language of the refugees actually helped her and the refugees in the process of trust building:

You know speaking the same, almost the same language with them. I think it gave

them a little bit confidence that they can just talk with somebody about

everything. And trust, trust was a big issue for them… trusting somebody that

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speak their own language and you know, saying that OK everything is gonna be

fine, you are going to be safe here.

Liaisons explained that gaining the trust of refugees was an integral part of their relationship, because through building the trust they were able to make refugees feel safer and to open up which would allow the liaisons and AFR to figure out the areas where refugees needed help the most. And as liaisons explain, once liaisons earned refugees’ trust, their relationship grew significantly and became the key ingredient that brought these two groups closer.

It is due to these levels of involvement and trust that the concept woven relationship is being used to describe the relationship between liaisons and refugees. The liaisons are woven into every fiber of the refugees’ daily lives. They are embedded in their routines and their activities. One of the liaisons, Reese, described their relationship by explaining what that woven family means:

Woven family!, well, you get woven into it because they need help, they can’t

read they can’t write, because they can’t read they can’t write a sentence or

express themselves in writing so you know, um, read their mail, you try to explain

finances to them, you try to explain why insurance is not paying for any more

physical therapy, so you are so woven in every phases of life whether its medical,

how to take medication or um, what is a good sunscreen to use for swimming

pool, just helping out with the childcare. When we were driving to doctor’s

appointment, you just get to know each other, you talk about each other’s

families, families come to town and your little daughter wants to insists on 136

making food and you are just like no you don’t need to make food but she insists

on making food and you just say well, if you are going to make food then you’ll

need to come over here and meet my family, so you know we are sitting around

the table with bunch of brothers and their sons and my husband and my refugee

family… I don’t know, it’s just I think we are pretty lucky and fortunate, we get

along I mean it’s not like it’s perfect its like neither is any family (laugh) but we

get along.

This particular excerpt above beautifully illustrates the idea of woven relationships; refugees and liaisons become deeply embedded in one another’s lives in various ways. Indeed, both groups—the refugees who had to flee their country and leave their loved ones behind and the liaisons who work with refugees on a daily basis—see and interact with each other more than they do with their own family.

However, every kind of close relationship has its challenges, tensions, complexities, and highs and lows which the parties involved in it must navigate through and develop their relationship. Of particular importance in the case of the liaison-refugee relationships is the vulnerability of refugees, the power dynamics, the cultural differences, the language barriers, and amongst other complexities all require attention.

Within these woven relationships, these nuances play out in a familiar pattern: that of the parent-child relationship.

Parent-Child Relationship

Almost all of liaisons who work directly with refugees in AFR (not including volunteers or translators who help liaisons when needed) and who were interviewed for 137

this study are women in the age range of early 40s to 70s, who are married with kids.

These female liaisons, spoke to the special relationship that they developed with refugees as almost a parental/maternal bond. The refugees in this study spoke about being forced to leave their country behind come to the U.S. and shared that they had very limited (if not zero) knowledge of the American culture and society. Outside of the U.S. immigration and custom officers at the airport, the refugee-advocacy NGO and its staff were the first Americans with whom these refugees interacted. Just like parents who are responsible for teaching their child about the culture, societal norms, rules, and environment around the child, the liaisons acted as parental figures who had to teach the refugees what they need to/should know about the new country which they now call home.

Through a closer look at liaisons’ experiences and stories of working with refugees, I noticed that their relationship with refugees is very much similar to that of parent and child. In parent-child relationship the parents play an integral role in the children’s lives, especially during the early infancy and childhood development stages.

On a daily basis, parents teach, nurture, and equip their children with basic and necessary information that is important for their development and survival in the society in the near or distance future. And again, similar to parent child relationship, liaisons explained that they also play a key role in refugees’ early stages of resettlement. Refugees rely on the information given to them by the liaisons to form a better understanding of the new country, the ways they need to make decisions, and how to live their life. Overall, there are many similarities between a societal understanding of a parent-child relationship and 138

the liaisons’ descriptions of the relationship between themselves and the refugees. It should be noted that I acknowledge that there is no perfect relationship and all relationships have so many challenges and hardships, and a parent-child relationship is no exception. However, in these discussions and for the sake of illustrating my analysis and arguments I will describe and use a more aspirational, adjusted, and healthy parent-child relationship to compare and contrast to the liaisons-refugees relationship. In the data, one overarching specific tension emerged that typified the parental relationship between refugees and liaisons: Dependency vs/and autonomy. This tension is one of the significant tensions that pervades the liaisons and refugee relationship and more importantly is reminiscent of relational dialectics theory (Baxter, 2004). Essentially, work on relational dialectics argues that in any relationship, tensions exist through competing needs which must be managed communicatively. One of these commonly identified tensions,

“connection-autonomy,” demonstrates the pull between wanting to feel togetherness with one’s partner or family, but also craving a separate sense of self. This tension, which will be explored more deeply in later sections, is very similar to the theme of dependency- autonomy in my own findings.

Additionally, that subtheme was divided into categories (a) discouraging vs/and fulfilling, and (b) expectation vs/and reality to describe how when the liaisons’ and refugees’ road to dependency is challenging, two other tensions follow. In the following paragraphs I will explain what the main tension and each of its subsequent tensions entail by highlighting the liaisons’ own description of their relationships.

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Dependency vs/and Autonomy

When children are born into a family, at the beginning years of their childhood they are almost fully dependent on their parents on so many levels. Gradually over time, through the guidance of parents, they become more independent by learning to accomplish tasks and doing things on their own. When it comes to the same concepts within the liaison-refugee relationship, we notice many similarities and differences. It is similar because upon arrival the refugees are not familiar with the cultural norms, behaviors, legal and financial concepts that an average person in the U.S. need to know.

For instance, one of the liaisons, Portia, described how AFR tries to help refugees understand and manage American financial concepts as independently as adults:

They [AFR] give them a certain amount of money. And they want them

[refugees] to be responsible with it. And but they don't want to treat them like

little children. But for some of them, I think their money skills are so terrible that

they can't necessarily be trusted. So it's a paradox because they want people to be

independent and they want them to lead adult lives here in this country. But, you

know, give them a bunch of money and, you know, they may, you know, go wild

in, you know, buying clothes or something like that. And plus, they had to learn

how to use you know, these these debit cards and they had to say they had to learn

how to do their banking.

In the above quote Portia provided an understanding of how AFR does not want to treat refugees as children but again since refugees are not familiar with the Western

American banking they need to teach them how to manage their money responsibly. 140

Moreover, they try to help refugees get a better understanding of how debit and credit cards work, which as we discussed in the previous chapter is one of the things with which refugees still struggle. Similarly, in a parent-child relationship, parents usually have the responsibility to gradually teach their children the ins and outs of everyday/monthly tasks which children need to know and do independently from one point on.

Additionally, refugees have very limited to no English proficiency and they heavily rely on liaisons and translators to gradually learn and adapt to the new ways of life. Though parents often need to explain their world to children, the liaison-refugee relationship is different from parent-child relationship due to the fact that refugees are adults. Yara, one of the liaisons, described this dynamic between liaisons and refugees as well as parents and children perfectly when she said:

I'm a parent and I have two children. So I feel like a lot of times this is similar to a

relationship between like a parent and a teenager. The teenager wants autonomy.

The parent thinks that I know what's good for you. I want you to push you toward

that path. But, but then we're not talking about the teenager. They are grown

people and they are actually trying their best to adjust to this society and get past

the traumas, awful things that has happened to them.

Yara’s quote illustrates how liaisons noticed the similarities and differences between the liaison-refugee and parent-child relationships and they acknowledged how the process can be at times difficult as they helped refugees find their independence.

Notably, the dynamic of and within each refugee family impacts how different liaisons approach different families. Each refugee family to which liaisons are assigned 141

consists of at least one adult and couple of children. Based on the liaison’s description, and because of the nature of young children, refugee children quickly become fluent in

English (to the point where some of them almost forget their mother language) and they adapt to the culture because they get enrolled in schools right away and have better opportunity to make friends. However, for the adult refugees, who are in their late 20s,

30s and 40s and who spent most of their adult lives in their own country and are very used to their own cultural norms and ways of life, that is not necessarily the case. More specifically, female Afghan refugees, who are the focus of this study, because of years of reinforced cultural and societal expectations, rules, and limitations, are deeply embedded in their own cultural, societal, and personal norms and behaviors. Therefore, the process of their resettlement in the U.S. consists of more deconstructing, un/relearning, observing, analyzing, adapting, and fully immersing in the new culture.

The process is facilitated by the AFR because they want to help refugees gain more knowledge about American culture and society themselves and not have to rely on the liaisons and translators regarding every issue and concept that they need to face, resolve, and overcome. As one the liaisons, Dora, described the AFR and liaisons are constantly “constantly trying to figure out how they can help them and how they can, you know, be supportive towards them, but also to help them to ultimately be independent”.

Liaisons believe mastering this balance helps both liaisons and refugees become clearer about what/where refugees need help with and what/where they want help as they are resettling in the new culture.

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However, one of the major concerns brought up by all liaisons is in fact the idea that they notice refugees have a hard time balancing the dependency-autonomy. Just like parents who at some points want their children to leave “the nest” but also rely on their parents whenever they really need help, AFR liaisons also tried to find out how they can help refugees become more independent while still advocating for them whenever and in whatever area they need. Anita described this concept specifically when she said:

We are pushing them out of the nest, that’s scary, you know, they have had this

support and they have got to start working towards their, sustaining themselves

and there is a push back, but you know we gotta push nudging them forward and

um, it’s like your kids, you gotta push them out of the nest and say you can do

this! And this is why you can do this! I have taught you…about money and will

teach you some more and there is just everything is so new here in the United

States, earning an income, how do you spend it, how do you pay for necessities,

things that you actually need vs the things that you want… .

In the above quote, we see that this liaison wanted to help and encourage refugees to become independent while acknowledging that the new culture and its intricacies can be very scary and challenging for the refugees. And as Reese explained, liaisons keep boosting refugees’ confidence and reminding them of the capabilities and skills that they have acquired so that they can become more independent in different areas. Moreover, most liaisons expressed that they think that having more clear guidelines by AFR can help them find a balance in helping refugees become more autonomous and less dependent on them: 143

… I wish that we had more guidance with, from the AFR. More, I feel like we are

making this up, each one of us is making it up as we go, each liaison, it leaves a

lot of room for human error from my behalf, a lot of questioning myself ‘Did I do

the right thing?’, ‘Am I going about this the wrong way?’, and sometimes I feel

like we are trying to get our family independent but then in some ways we are

holding them back from being independent, that’s a big challenge…Maybe when

to step out and not be a liaison anymore might be a challenge too, because when

you start you know being a family it’s hard to-

-Me: it’s hard to detach?

-Anita: Yeah… .

As Anita described, liaisons are constantly trying to decide on the lines between when to let them go/be independent/learn on their own and in what areas to continue the support and advocacy. For the most part, that line has become blurry and the liaisons have expressed that they had difficulty figuring out what do to help improve refugees’ lives in the best way. Again, similar to the parent-child relationship where parents usually describe that there is no manual for all the ups and downs of parenting, AFR liaisons, who did not previous have experiences of working with refugees, also have had to learn and do things as they go. Another liaison, Mia, talked about continuously working to negotiate the tension between dependency and autonomy of refugees:

I think a hard balance for me is separating, you know, where is the line between

being supportive and being intrusive? It's difficult because that line changes right

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at the beginning. Obviously, people need a great deal more support. They need

help getting groceries and, you know, just understanding what recycling means.

You know, just everyday kinds of things. But then to pull back, which is

obviously something we're actively doing this year, to pull back in a way that

gives them a feeling of independence, but not abandonment…

In the excerpt above, it is clear that this liaison struggled with the tension between how to balance encouraging autonomy while at the same time, being present if the refugees needed them. The liaison did not want to step back too soon so that the refugee would not feel alone or abandoned. One strategy that liaisons used to help this transition was to rely on the refugee children.

Given that it takes longer for adult refugees to become fluent in English, in contrast to their young children, many times the liaisons trained the children to be more autonomous. The liaisons had to teach some of the older children how to take care of important daily/monthly tasks that are generally taken care of by the adults of the household, such as paying bills and communicating with school officials. Through the course of interviews with liaisons, many have reflected on how and in what ways they were trying to help the families and the things they wished they could do differently if they could go back in time. For instance, one of the liaisons explained:

..... [the refugee children] had to grow up fast. Unfortunately, because the parents

were illiterate and couldn't write. So. Yeah, I should have wrote out one check.

Taking a picture of it and made the father rewrite it rewrite it rewrite it rewrite it

until it was legible goes the same check, he wrote the same check every month. It 145

was to repay their airline tickets when they were flying when they came to the

U.S. And I didn't, I just went there I just did it. I just wrote the check. Thinking I

was always gonna be there to write the check which is crazy. We probably could

have done a better job sooner. I tried to teach the children how to get to Wal-Mart

on the bus because they didn't drive. And you know it I should have done that

sooner and earlier so they were more independent.

The above quote illustrates that helping refugees become more autonomous is a complicated and delicate process. Refugees depend on liaisons and AFR to get a better sense of the world around them and take steps toward helping them and their family. For instance, refugees rely on the money that is managed by AFR but given to them by the government or independent donors (such as churches, wealthy individuals, the community, etc.). They count on AFR to take them to job training, medical doctor appointments, and counseling appointments, or to teach them about financial issues, the

U.S. school system, and so many other concepts that might be new to them. Additionally, liaisons and refugee parents all seem to rely on the refugee children, teaching them the new daily tasks, rules, and routines within the new culture so they can assist their parents.

The heavy reliance (dependence) of refugees on liaisons during the early stages of their resettlement can make the relationship a little tricky. Because liaisons’ (and refugees) descriptions of their experiences of working with refugees shows that just like the parent-child relationship, one of the key elements within the relationship between liaisons and refugees becomes about what each party gains with the relationship—and what each party stands to lose if the relationship is terminated. In a parent-child 146

relationship, the children’s survival and growth, especially during the early years of their lives, depends on the parents—but that is not the case in other way around: while parents have strong and deep emotional attachment to their children, their survival does not rely on their children. In contrast, children rely on the emotional and financial resources provided by the parents. So, both the gain and loss for children in their relationship with their parents are very high. They gain so much from their parents in their early years in life and at the same time they can lose significantly if they do not receive the love, attention, care, lessons, and the other necessary things for their life.

In the case of liaisons and refugees in AFR, in the early phases of resettlement refugees depend on liaisons and AFR to help them navigate the new culture and its routines and norms as well as so many other critical issues which have been mentioned so far. But these groups are not equally dependent on each other, because while liaisons develop emotional and family-like relationship with refugees, their loss in case of a breakup/discontinuation of relationship is very low compared to that of refugees. In such cases, refugees, in addition to the emotional bond with liaisons, can lose a key figure who has been their important (cultural, legal, financial, etc.) guide in so many aspects of their life. On the other hand, while liaisons do not receive/benefit financially and emotionally similar to what refugees need and gain, they have expressed that feeling of knowing they have helped refugees learn, heal, (re)grow roots, and advance in this new society has been one the motivating factors behind them volunteering to join AFR. Additionally, from liaisons’ perspective the current social and political climate and misconception and mistreatment of refugees gave them another reason to want to help refugees and their 147

stories be heard and ultimately help their friends, community, and society be more open- minded. All these factors have underlying commonalities with what parents gain within their relationships with their children, which those are working with the motivation and knowledge that you are helping another human being growing and creating their own identity and life within the society. However, it should be noted again that both gain and loss of refugees within/without their relationship with liaisons are very significant to the point where it can directly impact their daily life and future. And this level of refugees’ dependency on their relationship with liaisons can further complicate that relationship and refugees’ road to autonomy.

Refugees consistently receive the attention and support they (rightfully and naturally) need in early phases of resettlement, but that can become challenging for them because, as liaisons describe it, they also need to be able to fully carry out tasks and their lives independently with little to no help. Having to face the challenge of finding the balance between dependency and autonomy is one the unavoidable part of this, or any, woven relationship. For instance, through different times and stages of children’s lives, parents and children negotiate the boundaries of children’s dependency and autonomy.

As the children grow up the parents are part of their lives while continuing, shifting the nature of, or stopping the support they provide to their kids in various ways. This process is even tougher in a woven relationship such as liaison-refugee, because there is so much at stake for refugees within and because of this relationship that the transition to being autonomous becomes more sensitive and complex. When talking about gain and loss, liaisons have described how their liaison roles come with its rewards and challenges. 148

Additionally, it can be argued that from liaisons’ perspective when the refugees’ progress toward more independence is not advancing as they (both parties) want it to and they face challenges, that seems to have a chain reaction causing two subsequent tensions: (a) fulfilling vs/and discouraging, and (b) expectation vs/and reality, which will be discussed in the upcoming sections.

Fulfilling vs/and Discouraging. The relationship that parents have with their children can be one of the most fulfilling things they do in their life. Because through growing, nurturing, educating, and loving, they impact the lives of their children and who they are becoming. Parents can see how the valuable lessons that they teach their children have impact on how empowered, loved, kind, and successful the children feel/become.

And when they notice that their efforts and sacrifices have changed the children’s lives for the better, they can feel very proud and fulfilled. Similarly, in the liaison-refugee relationship, liaison become key parental figures who work alongside refugees to help them grow and succeed in life and they are proud of every small or big accomplishment and saddened by their setbacks. For instance, Portia described her joy of noticing how her work paid off and how far the refugees she works with have come along:

…I feel that I was instrumental in helping her become more stable in terms of her

mental health. I worked very, very hard with her and I am very experienced

working with trauma. It is really my specialty. And I am very proud of that…But

I when I met her, there was no way that she could have worked at all. She just was

too unstable. And and the fact that after all, how many months would be like

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about nine months of mental health treatment, that she was able to get a part time

job? That to me is wonderful for her.

The above quote is an example of how liaisons put the time and effort to help refugees in any way they so they can become healthier and resettle better in the culture and they feel so proud and fulfilled when they see the result. However, within any woven relationship the parties involved can share so many positive, joyful, and uplifting—as well as some challenging and distressing—experiences with each other which they face and have to overcome. In every close relationship where one’s existence, health, and success can rely heavily on the other, it can also be very exhausting. Parents work very hard to make sure that their children are equipped with the best and most helpful information, tools, and skills which will eventually help them become more independent.

Throughout the process of raising a child parents can feel very stressed and emotionally drained when their daily routine is surrounded a person(s) they have to keep providing service for. Additionally, the pressure of wanting to do it all right or knowing that sometimes their actions and mistakes can directly impact their children for a very long time and throughout their adult life, can be exhausting.

The feelings that liaisons experience within their relationship with the refugees can be very similar to what parents experience in their relationship with children. As it was discussed in the previous sections, all of the liaisons working with refugees got involved in this organization through their connection to their church, community, friends, and some even through word of mouth. None of them were professionally hired as experts in the refugee resettlement process to join the NGO and coach/lead the entire 150

group. They all joined AFR because they realized that they wanted to do something about the refugee crisis in the U.S. and advocate for such mispresented populations in any way they could. While, contrary to parenting role, many of these liaisons’ involvement in

AFR, due to reasons such volunteer-nature of the work, liaisons’ ages, their main jobs, family, etc., is not a lifelong position, they engage in hands-on involvement in the NGO and in the lives of their assigned refugee family.

Through such close family-like relationships, liaisons have become very invested in the lives and wellbeing of the refugees. As Reese, one of the liaisons, described it in previous sections, the liaisons become so woven in the day to day lives of refugees that their relationship goes beyond how traditional liaisons’ and refugees’ roles and relations are defined. AFR liaisons particularly, compared to NGOs in neighboring towns and states, have taken heavily-involved parental roles in the everyday lives of refugee families and children. They have become one of (if not the) the most valuable sources which refugees rely on throughout the early phases of resettlement. The level of closeness that these two groups feel in their relationship as well as refugees’ reliance on liaisons have brought its rewards and challenges.

As liaisons have described, the process of working with refugees has been very rewarding and fulfilling when they notice their work is making a difference in the lives of refugees—especially in moments where they see the small or big improvements that refugees have made, or when they have accomplished and achieved something important that they have been working hard toward. For instance, Emily, one of the liaisons shared

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one of the most memorable and proud moments for her was when she attended the high school graduation of one of the refugee kids:

Because I will never forget the night that they graduated. Ahhh! We had almost

20 people there from our, (gets choked up and laughs) makes me cry I am so

happy to celebrate these two kids and the tremendous work that they did to get to

this point. And of course, their whole family was there and several of their

primary liaison, friends and then the other Syrian family came, which we did not

expect there. They came all seven of them, eight of them. And so we had this big

crowd when the kids and they were early in the alphabet. So, when the kids went

up on stage to get their diplomas, there was this huge roar, And Ah!!! we all cried.

So, I couldn't, I will never forget that night… Yeah. And you know, they were so

proud, and their parents were so proud because they, although they themselves

have very little education, they really value education. And, you know, I think

they really saw this as (get choked up again) America. This is what America

meant to them for their children.

As Emily described here, liaisons have become members of the family and community of refugees and are invested in each of their accomplishments and possible failures. They celebrate and get emotional when they witness refugees’ own hard work and liaisons help pays off and refugees are progressing and thriving in their new home.

Portia, shared the story of how fulfilling it was when she witnessed that one of the

Afghan single mother’s own hard work and the liaisons’ help had impact, improved her

English, and helped to land her first job: 152

…the day I took her for her first actual day of work. Never seen anybody so

proud. It was, It was so touching thing to see her. You know, I took a picture of

her and her, you know, in her official polo and her baseball cap. And, and she was

just beaming. She was so proud of herself. That's a really wonderful thing to see

this, that she was able to work. You know, she's done it successfully.

When parents are fully invested in their children’s lives they are (equally if not sometimes more) impacted by children’s accomplishments and failures. Similarly, AFR liaisons also have such close bond with the refugees that every small improvement and or minor setback can make them happy or sad.

On the other hand, liaisons have explained that it can be very discouraging for them when they see that refugees are not making progress or motivating themselves to do things that they already have been equipped with. One of the common topics of concern brought up by the liaisons was about not seeing refugees’ improvements in grasping and performing information, concepts, daily routines and norms, and rules, especially in areas where they were taught in the earlier stages of resettlement process. More specifically, based on liaisons’ experiences, one of the areas which they noticed refugees are not fully improving in and there are some back and forth, was the concept of independency which was covered in the previous sections.

Liaisons expressed that they notice that even in some of the areas where refugees and older refugee children have been taught what to do independently and they are completely capable of doing it, there are still so many incidents where they reach out to the liaisons and ask them to do those things for them/on their behalf. Liaisons explained 153

that can be frustrating for them when refugees have these setbacks and are not pushing themselves to do things on their own even though they can. Emily shared an incident to explain this kind of experience:

It's a very delicate balance [between dependency and autonomy]. And I think

sometimes we don't hit it (laughs). And I personally sometimes don't hit it,

because you get frustrated with something that, you know, we've done this

together four times. You should be able to do this by yourself. Why didn't you do

it? And for me to just be like, OK, that might be a trauma Induced paralysis. That

seems like it's simple to do, but maybe it isn't simple to do… OK, I'll give you an

example…We have a family, in my family, we have children who are 18 and 19

who are perfectly capable of understanding that of having the English

conversation, of managing it for their family. And. It doesn't happen and we don't,

We get frustrated, you know, don't call me when you need something. Call, Call

the school if you're going to miss school today. You call the school. You don't

have to call me for me to call the school. Things like that that are frustrating.

The above quote provides a great description of how sometimes liaisons’ work can also become discouraging for them, especially when they experience the setbacks in refugees’ resettlement and self-reliance journey. Those setbacks can bring some tensions to liaisons-refugee relationships because from liaison’s perspective the refugee families can push themselves to be more on their own feet. Particularly, in the areas where liaisons have worked hard for a long time to help them become familiar and get situated.

And when liaisons don’t see the full effort by refugees it makes them question their own 154

work, the hours, and energy which they have put in refugees and their lives and get frustrated.

It is very interesting to notice how the refugees’ successful or unsuccessful road to independency has been one of the deciding factors for liaisons’ feeling of fulfillment or frustration. In other words, the extent to which refugees are independent directly impacts liaisons’ feeling of accomplishment. Because by looking at how far the refugees have come and how many tasks they are able to complete on their own (compared to the past), liaisons decide whether the lessons they have taught refugees were effective and more importantly whether their advocacy work has been effective or even enough. Within a woven relationship, like a parent- child relationship or a liaison-refugee relationship, parents and liaisons are invested in the lives, highs, lows, accomplishments, and failures of their counterparts. And when things go/don’t go according the goals and aspirations that parents/liaisons have for the other groups that can be highly fulfilling/discouraging for them. Considering the level of involvement in each other’s lives and the amount and nature of support provided by liaisons to refugees, in some instances liaisons noticed both themselves and refugees are negotiating the boundaries about refugees’ expectation.

Expectation vs/and Reality. Within any relationship, individuals might have different approaches toward what that relationship means to them, what they look forward to, and what they expect from it. Within parent-child relationships, gradually over time, both parents and children might start to develop certain expectations of each other that they hope the other will follow and accomplish. Parents expect children to listen to and follow their lessons and rules when they are younger ,and later to work hard 155

and excel individually, socially, academically, and economically when they are older.

Children, on the other hand, might expect their parents to take care of them (emotionally and financially) when they are younger and provide different emotional and parental support when they grow up. However, as children grow older the nature of expectation vs/and reality of what these groups have toward each can get complicated since individuals (both parents and children) can change, develop personalities and preferences, and perceive their relationship in various ways. Over time and in certain instances, parents and children start to negotiate the boundaries between the extent to which they can give and take from each other or learn how to say no to one another. This negotiation often means parents have to say no when their children keep wanting more/extensive support or that children have to say no to parents when they notice parents are expecting and/or demanding them to be or do certain things.

Liaisons and refugees (of AFR) experience very similar challenges. Yara, for instance, described how AFR and refugees try to continually balance the things/support they can give and how similar this dynamic is to that if parent and child:

I think the AFR…have been very generous and very nice and they have done

extra things for them, that is just like for fun and not just meeting the needs of, we

don't want you to stay hungry, but we go beyond that. But they have also said no

to them. A lot of times. Sorry, we can't do that. And that's a hard balance. Same

just like raising a teenager.

From the above quote it can be understood how AFR, just like a parent-child relationship, has tried to handle and manage (children’s/) refugees’ expectations despite 156

the support they (the parents/ liaisons) continue to provide. In the liaison-refugee relationship, just as a parent-child relationship, each of the individuals has their own unique personality traits that they get to know about the other. Unique to this relationship, other aspects and identities also influence the way liaisons and refugees build and develop their relationship. For instance, cultural differences, (lack of) understanding of each other’s culture, language barriers, refugees’ trauma, liaisons’ experience and so many other delicate and complicated elements significantly affect how these two groups develop their relationship. These elements in addition to the nature of advocacy work performed by the liaisons easily impact how liaisons and refugees perceive their relationship and what they expect from it.

The concept of expectation, particularly refugees’ expectation, was another issue brought up by the liaisons. According to liaisons, considering the nature and level of their involvement and the advocacy work which they provide for refugees, some refugees started to form impractical assumptions. More specifically, liaisons noticed from one point on in some instances refugees developed some expectation of what they think they need to receive or be assisted with.

Liaisons expressed that they are all aware how refugees are appreciative of the support they get, but at the same time each of them try to have constructive and kind conversations with their refugee family to make sure they do not form unrealistic expectations about what AFR and liaisons can provide or what they themselves can do.

Another liaison, Cathy, explained she had to teach one of the Afghan single mothers to be realistic about their goals and take baby steps towards them: 157

I think that the refugees expected to be fully supported [by AFR] forever. And of

course, they don't. They have a fairly minimal job skills. She's working in food

service, and it was great that Lilly got her a second job this summer because the

University cut back, and she thinks if she gets a car, that she'll be a lot more

independent. But she doesn't realize, she does have the [driver’s manual] book,

she doesn't read very well. And she doesn't understand that she's going to have to

be able to read and take a test before she can, get a permit to drive. I told her I'd

teach her to drive, but that’s a way, long way [inaudible] (laughs).

We can understand from what Cathy described that as liaisons, she and her colleagues had to have engaged conversation with refugees to make sure that they have realistic approach toward their dreams and goals of having a more settled life here.

Liaisons, just like parents, have had to help and provide refugees with a clearer and step by step road map toward getting and accomplishing the things they need/want.

Another liaison, Yara, also shared a personal story to explain how both directly and indirectly she have tried to help some of the refugees become aware of liaisons’ extent of advocacy work, liaison/volunteer-refugee relationship boundaries, and refugees’ expectation:

Then there is the other side of it that the refugee likes the volunteers, or the

volunteer organization do something for them. Like, can you buy this for me or

can you take me to pick up my medicine? Can you take my child to whatever

place like this was? So my children... have a lot of activities. They go to

gymnastics, cello [class] and this and that. They're busy. …At the beginning, 158

when they [refugees] had moved and we were talking and I got this so many times

from Sooriya that ‘can you take my daughter to gymnastics, too?’ And I tried to

explain to her that I can't because I live somewhere else. And already I feel it's too

much I'm taking my daughter. For me, it's like I want to drop gymnastics. And we

actually eventually did…But I couldn't explain that to her. So, then she was like, I

don't mean you to do it. Can you ask AFR to take my daughter to gymnastics? I

was like, huh? Yeah, sure, I can ask. And eventually she actually she, I think I she

went to gymnastics for two months. So, somebody was volunteering, but there

was these hard choices that, OK, we have few volunteers, they would like to help,

but maybe gymnastics is not the best time to spend. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't.

In the above quote, we see how liaisons constantly try to negotiate the boundaries with refugees and help them understand how expectations and favors are differentiated and managed, specifically in American culture.

Some of the liaisons explained that some of the expectations that their refugees families might have are in some way the result of refugees’ conversations with other refugees within the AFR or neighboring town or even other states. They hear what other

NGOs do for their refugees, or through conversation with refugees more advanced in the resettlement process, or even with families with different dynamics and circumstances.

Then, they develop ideas and expectations of what should be done for them. This can make the work of AFR and liaisons a little more challenging. Another liaison described her observation about one of the female Afghan refugees and explained “one of the families left and left kind of in a huff. And she [the female Afghan refugees] visits that 159

family and Lilly thinks that when she visits them, she comes back with more unrealistic expectations”. Liaisons have expressed that they had to help refugees become aware of healthy and realistic expectations or remind them that they are perfectly able and empowered to accomplish certain things on their own. Additionally, they had to help refugees acknowledge the boundaries within their relationship and the extent to which liaisons could help without feeling overwhelmed or jeopardizing their own health or family life. For instance, Nina explained how it is important for her to advocate for refugees in any way she could, set boundaries, and also communicate those boundaries to the refugees:

…you know, I think that when, helping the refugees, you know, you can help till

a certain point. Till they don't think that it is your duty to do this stuff. You know.

And understanding this is a big big thing. I know that they are coming from

different class of families… and they…appreciate all the help they get. But you

know providing lots of stuff, lots of help, It makes them to get to use it and not to

be independent.

Above, it is apparent how liaisons have strived to help refugees become aware of what they can/cannot expect from them/AFR and the line that separates those two. More specifically as Nina described it, through these discussions, which can cause tensions and minor resentments between the two groups, the liaisons try hard to let refugees know these unrealistic expectations hinders their journey to self-reliance, which in liaisons’ mind is the ultimate goal.

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Considering the level of attention and time that advocacy work for refugees in the early phases of resettlement requires, for most of the liaisons their volunteer work with the AFR have become the second full-time job. The AFR liaisons are the key actors in lives of refugees and especially during their early stages of resettlement in the U.S. They are fully immersed in the day to day lives of refugees, teaching and guiding them through any important cultural and societal concept that they should know.

Summarizing the Liaison-Refugee Relationship

It should be noted that one of the areas which through this study I aimed to learn more about was the social media platform use of local NGOs such as AFR. I noticed that unlike many NGOs in previous studies (Biddix, 2010; Bortree & Seltzer, 2009; Guo &

Saxton, 2014; Petray, 2011) this NGO does not use or rely heavily on their social media platform (which is only Facebook) to communicate and advocate for refugee. So far,

AFR has used that platform for posting news articles and updates mostly usable and accessible by some of their own staff and volunteers who have social media platforms.

During the interview with the director, who is one of the main individuals periodically posting on that platform, he noted that one the reason behind their low use of Facebook was because of their refugees’ privacy and the fact that they did not want to share a lot about specific details of their work. Many other refugee-advocacy NGOs use social media as a form of advocacy by networking, lobbying, creating public events, and facilitating public education (Guo & Saxton, 2010, 2014; Petray, 2011) in order to help shape government policies, but AFR is not reliant upon government interests. Perhaps, the grassroots nature of the organization shapes its use of social media: AFR is less 161

focused on changing larger public policy but is concerned more with helping the individual refugees. As such, their use of more interpersonal media is notable, as it is directly related to their work with the refugees themselves.

While AFR is less reliant on social media platforms, they have significantly relied on instant messaging applications such as Telegram and WhatsApp to chat and communicate with refugees through chat, video calls, and voice memos. So, while social media platforms do not play any significant role in their advocacy work, those instant- messaging apps have become the main and most important sources of information sharing among the NGO and form of advocacy approach for their with/for refugees. This is largely reflective, too, of the highly interpersonal nature of the liaison-refuge relationship.

As it was established in the previous chapter, many of the refugees in this NGO are not literate in their own language, so when they come here the liaisons take them to

ESL classes and work with them so that they can pick up the culture quickly and be able to immerse themselves in the society. All the refugees, especially single mothers, had very life-altering and difficult experiences in their country, such as physical and emotional domestic abuse, war, and presence of terrorists groups, which have traumatized the refugees on so many levels. The liaisons have helped refugees by taking them to doctors and counseling and they and the translators are with refugees translating for them and the doctors and helping them navigate and manage the trauma, pain, and their PTSD day by day. Therefore, the intensity of job and the level of attention and care that

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refugees, who have been through a lot and are coping with PTSD and traumas, need have taken its toll on liaisons’ own lives as well. Diana, shared her experience by saying:

It's really hard for volunteer families. The families of volunteers. I might say that.

My husband says you know “when can we declare them on our taxes as

independent, (corrects herself) as dependent?” Because whenever I go out the

door he says another AFR? because I'm out the door all time, used to be worse.

Now it isn’t. and he's a very tolerant person because he tolerated my 80 hour work

week for many years while I was raising our kids you know. So he's a tolerant

man but I think it's really, when volunteers get involved in things like this and

really have a lot of responsibility it's going to be hard on the families and they

have to make sure that their families are supportive. I think we sometimes forget

that. We jump into things and forget about the family. And. Luckily my kids were

grown but I think if you had young kids or whatever. It's really hard. But I've

heard this from other volunteers that family members can become resentful of the

demands.

From the above quote it can be understood the extent to which refugees have become woven in the personal lives of liaisons and their families. Diana’s description depicts the amount and intensity of advocacy work that liaisons who get involved have to do and how that can impact them and their family in so many ways.

So, this level of involvement in the most intimate and personal parts of refugees’ lives can take its toll on liaisons. As an untrained individual helping someone with very little English proficiency to learn an entirely new culture, its systems, norms and rules 163

while helping them managing all the past traumas at the same can be a very challenging task. One of the liaisons reflected on her interaction with refugees saying:

I think it's been an interesting adventure. I've learned a lot about myself. As well

as about these families. You begin to get in touch with your own empathy…It

takes a certain part of you. For me at least I can only speak for myself. I became

aware of myself in ways that I maybe I didn't realize some of the ways that I

interact with people and I had to learn new ways to interact with people. So, it's a

very much a learning experience. I'm imperfect at it. I've had to resist burnout. I

have not always resisted it. I've had periods where I'm just, I want to throw up my

hands and run away.

The quote above describes how liaisons were/are aware and grateful of the fulfilling experiences that come with this advocacy work as well as its possible challenges and frustrations. The hard times and challenging parts have sometimes discouraged the liaisons but, as they described it, they remind themselves of the improvements and use those as motivation to keep pushing forward. Similarly, in a parent-child relationship, family members (partners, other children) can feel resentful when a parent devote their time and energy to just one child or in other times both parents can become burnt out with the demands of parenting.

In this woven relationship, on a daily and weekly basis AFR liaisons try hard to help refugee have a smoother transition toward independency in their new home, manage their expectation and get a better understanding of the cultural norms and routines of the new culture, and help them deal with the pain and trauma as well as celebrating the 164

improvements and accomplishments. In the following chapters I will refer back to these themes when presenting my discussion.

Chapter Summary

In summary, in this chapter I discussed the salient themes within the findings of the second research question. First, I discussed liaisons’ description of their relationship with refugees as woven family, but more specifically the similarity of their relationship to the parent-child relationship. While considering the parent-child relationship, I presented one major theme, which was dependency vs/and autonomy, with two subsequent subthemes (a) discouraging vs/and fulfilling, and (b) expectation vs/and reality. Within the discussion of that overarching theme and its subthemes, I presented liaisons’ experience working with refugees and how similar to the parent-child relationship, feelings, and its goals, liaisons have worked to help refugees become as independent as possible and as soon as possible. However, the findings shows that that process has been challenging and the level of progress of refugees in the process of becoming autonomous impacted how liaisons felt fulfilled and discouraged about their advocacy and how they have been/not have been able to manage refugees’ gradual concerns and expectations. In the following and final chapter, I will bring a more detailed discussion of the important findings, contribution, and conclusion of this dissertation research study.

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Chapter 7: Discussion and Conclusion

Chapter Overview

In this chapter I will begin with providing a review of the overall goal and premise of this study. Then, I discuss each research question with respect to the communicative and narrative experiences of the both refugees and AFR liaisons and situation the findings within preexisting literature. Next, I further provide implications and contributions of this research study. Finally, I identify limitations and future research avenues which developed from this study.

Research Premise

Refugees are among the most vulnerable yet resilient populations. They experience hardships and turmoil throughout their journey toward safer and more secure living conditions. Once refugees arrive in the host country they face and must overcome many more challenges as they resettle in the new culture. However, despite of all the hardship they endure throughout most of their lives, refugees are among the most resilient people who are able to reestablish their life in a new culture different from their own

(Hajdukowski-Ahmed et al., 2009; Hutchinson & Dorsett, 2012). NGOs are the key groups who assist refugees throughout their resettlement journey step by step. Refugees and NGO advocacy efforts have been studied by various disciplines (e.g., Balcells &

Steele, 2016; Patrick, 2016; Yuval, Zvielli, & Bernstein, 2017; Suhrke, 2012) including communication studies (Conquergood, 1988; Dykstra-DeVette & Canary, 2018; Sleijpen et al., 2016). Scholars have examined refugees’ psychological and physiological stress and trauma, acculturation challenges, language acquisition challenges, and cultural and 166

traditional norms. However, to date, limited studies have focused on refugees’ experiences of everyday routines throughout their resettlement journey from their own perspective and the role of local NGOs assisting refugees (c.f., Dykstra-DeVette &

Canary, 2018) throughout that process. Therefore, I posed the following research questions in this study:

RQ1: How do Afghan female refugees describe their ordinary experiences and everyday routines during the early transitional period living in the United States?

RQ2: How do volunteers and staff from this NGO work alongside/work with these women as they manage their everyday routines?

Afghan Female Refugees’ Experiences Throughout the Early Transitional Period

The goal of the first research question was to explore how Afghan female refugees described their stories and experiences about their entire journey to the U.S.

More specifically, one of the key reasons behind posing this RQ was to provide these women with the chance/platform to share different aspects of their experiences that have shaped, hurt, challenged, or empowered them throughout their journey from their own perspective. Additionally, with more focus on their experiences throughout the early phases of resettlement in the U.S., I aimed to provide a better understanding of female refugees’ unique everyday tasks, routines, challenges, and rewards in the new culture. In other words, I wanted these women, through sharing their stories, to indicate what aspects stood out to- and impacted- them the most throughout their resettlement journey. As it was discussed in chapter 5, there were three major emergent themes within the findings

-Mard va Madad), illiteracy and English language (im) مرد و مدد :related to RQ1 167

)proficiency, and support of local NGOs. In the following paragraphs, I will first contextualize the findings again within the realm of everyday routines and circumstances.

Then, I will discuss the most salient findings: (a) illiteracy and English language (im-

)proficiency in everyday life, and (b) unpacking the “nongendered” perspective. With respect to the former, I will extend on previous research which focuses on the challenges of learning a second language as an illiterate individual. More specifically, I will explain how these female Afghan refugees and their experiences speak to Elmeroth’s (2010) concept of motivation within second language learning process as an illiterate. I will also address the gap within previous research arguing that while refugees’ reliance on local

NGOs and liaisons for learning and performing new cultural every day routines is very essential, or in fact the only way, it also comes with its own challenges, as it can directly impact their progress toward autonomy. With respect to the latter finding, I will expand on the previous research pointing out the invisibility of refugee women, specifically female Afghan (Muslim) refugee women. Then, I will further address the gap within previous research discussing that it is important to consider the notion of lack of/presence of a man in these women’s lives particularly in light of complicated social, cultural, and patriarchal expectations and roles. More importantly, I will discuss the importance of paying attention to the remarkable shift in the adaptation of new roles by these women

(i.e., becoming the only/main breadwinner) on their own, like any other head of the household, and not in comparison to male refugees and their adaptation of new role in the new culture. In the following sections I will discuss each of these aspects as they have

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addressed the first research question related to Afghan female refugees’ everyday experiences throughout the early phases of resettlement.

Examining the Everyday

Throughout their preflight, flight, and resettlement journey these three women have each faced and continue to deal with various challenging experiences. However, for these women, the process of finding their agency and being more independent has been one of the most difficult aspects. More specifically, understanding, learning, and adapting to the new quotidian cultural routines, norms, tasks, and responsibilities has been a challenging and redefining experience for these refugees. Moreover, the routines, habits, and activities which people perform, accomplish, do, or avoid in different settings and spaces are significant indicators of who they are (Highmore, 2010). People’s everyday routines represent the unique identity of individuals, things they prefer or do not prefer, things they value or prioritize, and the culture, custom, social position of which they are a part (Highmore, 2010; Inglis, 2005; Scott, 2009). More importantly, individuals become familiar with and adapt to their everyday routines as they go through their young and adult socialization process and they further develop, reinforce, internalize, and perform those routines and tasks (Inglis, 2005). People do not learn and start to do these everyday routines overnight. In fact, through constant conscious or unconscious repetition over time, these routines become embedded practices in daily life. The environment, people, community, and culture shape how individuals learn and develop these everyday tasks and routines in their life (Edensor, 2020).

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Individuals from different cultural backgrounds can have completely different approaches toward accomplishing their similar everyday routines and tasks. As Inglis

(2005) also describes, “Humans too all across the world do the same kinds of things—eat, sleep, defecate, make love and so on. But the specific ways in which they do those things, and the manners in which they think about those things, vary from one society to another and from one cultural context to another” (p.4). In other words, while people in different cultures might engage in similar every day routines, their cultural backgrounds likely shift their performances of those routines. In settings and instances where people— whether they voluntarily (e.g., tourists, immigrants, international students) or involuntarily (e.g., refugees, asylum seekers)—move or come to live in a society with different cultural traditions, norms, and routines than what they are used to, they might need more time to become familiar with the new cultural routines and choose (whether or not) to adapt to them (Edensor, 2010; Inglis, 2005).

In particular, refugees, coming from significantly different cultural backgrounds, routines, and understanding, can experience challenges as they become familiar with and accustomed to the new daily routines, norms, and tasks of the culture in which they are resettling and rebuilding their lives (Edensor, 2020). Because in addition to the impact of loss, fear, and trauma that they have endured and have to deal with throughout their preflight and flight, refugees have to learn and adjust to the new cultural daily routines and tasks which can be a very difficult process.

In the present study, three Afghan refugee women (and their families) spoke about learning and adjusting to the new cultural daily routines as one of the most 170

challenging aspects of their resettlement in their new home. There are different

-Mard va Madad), illiteracy and English language (im) مرد و مدد ,significant elements

)proficiency, and support of local NGOs, which have directly influenced refugees’ challenging process of adjusting to these new ordinary yet important daily routines and tasks, which I will further expand on in the salient aspects in the upcoming paragraphs.

Illiteracy and English Language (Im)Proficiency in Everyday Life

Previous literature addresses the negative impacts of illiteracy on refugees’ adjustment to life in a new country. Existing refugee research suggests that illiterate refugees face significant difficulties throughout their resettlement journey in the new country (Elmeroth, 2010; Huntly, 1992; Tran, 1998). In Afghanistan, only 43% of population are literate, with 55.5% male and only 29.8% of female demographics (CIA,

2018), so Afghan refugees likely face many of these challenges. The female Afghan refugees in this study, Fereshteh, Nasim, and Zinat can then be considered under the illiterate (or non-literate) category of Huntly’s (1992) typology of ESL literacy learners’ categorization: the group which are unable to read or write in their own

(native/first/mother tongue) language but “come from cultures where literacy is relatively common” and their illiteracy “stem[s] from poverty, war, oppression, absence of opportunities” (Huntly, 1992, p.11). These refugees shared that illiteracy affected their lives and livelihood prior to their flight and continues to impact them on a day to day basis. None of these women, due to social, cultural, and economic reasons, ever had the chances, opportunities, and resources to attend school, get an education, and develop their

(first/native) language understanding and communication, which could have benefitted 171

them when they were in their own country and could have possibly changed the trajectory of their lives.

Additionally, these women’s illiteracy shaped their ability to learn English language and adapt to the new everyday routines and tasks in their new home. When refugees are not equipped with the preestablished skillsets (acquired through their first language acquisition), they have more difficulty learning and understanding a new or second language in the new country (Elmeroth, 2010; Huntly, 1922). When an individual knows one language, when learning a new language, their established thoughts and concepts can be implemented within the new language, which in the context of second language learning is referred to as transfer theory of second language (Elmeroth, 2010;

Jakobovits, 1969). This theory argues that an individual is able to learn a second language smoothly and easily when they have a good knowledge of their first language, because they are able to rely on and transfer those already existing understanding of “intonation and grammatical rules” (Elmeroth, 2010, p. 433). In the case of these three women, since they are illiterate, they did not have their first language as a foundation to help them learn and become fluent in English in contrast to individuals who are educated in their first language. Though the English language proficiency of these women have improved from zero to a level where an adult learning a completely new language can acquire after couple of years of being in the host country, they are not still fully confident in it. As

Zinat shared “if you don’t know the language, if you are illiterate, the challenges become more and harder”, the issues of illiteracy and lack of English language proficiency were

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and still are among the most difficult aspects within resettlement process for refugees, which directly impacts their transition to and everyday life within the new culture.

According to Elmeroth (2010), in addition to (preestablished) first language understanding, there are other different factors that affect how easy or difficult it is for refugees to learn a new language, such as age, intelligence, personality, motivation, and contact with people who speak that (second) language. While there are literature that point out the correlation between second language learners’ age, specifically adult refugees, and their ability to learn English slower compared to their younger counterpart

(e.g., Tran, 1998; Tshabangu-Soko & Caron, 2011), I would argue that in the case of

Fereshteh, Nasim, and Zinat, age is not the significant factor hindering their English acquisition process. Each of these women have their own unique personality and certain level of intelligence that allows and pushes them to strive their best toward better English understanding.

However, I would argue that perhaps the most relatable factors to these three women, based on Elmeroth’s (2010) factors, are the motivation and contact with those who speak English language, specifically AFR liaisons and translators. Previous studies show that only when individuals basic needs are met (i.e., health, body, and safety needs), they will find the motivation to accomplish other things, including learning a second language (Maslow, 1999; Mogli & Papadopoulou, 2018; Viberg, 1987). In the case of the refugees in this study, and based in large part on the help of AFR, they were able to both quickly and over time have some of their basic needs met. But, when it comes to the concepts of motivation and contact with those who speak English (i.e., AFR liaisons) the 173

process has been a little complicated: the complications of performing everyday tasks when illiterate leaves these women dependent on their liaisons, but the presence of the liaisons may also reduce motivation to learn. However, as evidenced in the present findings, deeply rooted traditional gender roles and expectations also contributed to the women’s stalled motivation.

The Impact of Liaisons. As previous studies (i.e, Casimiro, Hancock, &

Northcote, 2007; Hynie, 2018; Shishehgar et al., 2017) also argue illiteracy and lack of

English language directly impacts refugees’, specifically female refugees’, acculturation, finding jobs, earning incomes, finding quality housing, and ultimately adapting to the everyday tasks and routines in the new culture. Because when refugees cannot rely on transfer theory of second language (Elmeroth, 2010; Jakobovits, 1969) to help them learn

English, they face significant challenges as they are trying to resettle in the new culture.

In fact, the stories and experiences of these women tell us how lacking important skills such as literacy and English language understanding affects refugees’ adjustment to the new culture and its everyday tasks and routines in minor and major ways. These women came across many different cultural norms, rules, and behaviors that were very different from what they were used to in their own country. For instance, Fereshteh shared that she noticed that there are differences in the way people pay their house rent here compared to what she experienced her whole life:

Back home when the monthly rent was due, the landlord herself/himself would

come to the house, knock on the door, and collect it in cash. Here it is not the

same, you must write check for things like this… 174

Zinat, also shared that she experienced new cultural norms and rules here in the

U.S., especially when it comes to being on time:

…when you want to go shopping you have to be on time, when you want to go to

doctor you have to be on time, if your appointment get canceled they won’t

accept/welcome you with an open arm…you have to go to work on time…

In the excerpts above, both women share how they have noticed the important differences in the American culture compared to their country of origin.

Additionally, due to illiteracy, limited English language understanding, and lack of familiarity with everyday tasks at the beginning these refugee women had to rely on liaisons for navigating many important tasks. For instance, Nasim shared that when liaisons ask her to sign important paperwork, because of her illiteracy and limited English language understanding, she has to trust her liaison so that she does not “run into problems” by not signing what is necessary. Zinat, on the other hand, shared how when her son got fired from his job she felt so helpless and desperate that because of her illiteracy and lack of English language understanding she couldn’t communicate directly with the employer. She recalled she had no choice but to ask CRR’s staff to talk her son’s employer and when the staff was not very helpful she told her “If I was literate myself…I wouldn’t have asked you”. Or the other times where she explained that when her doctor’s appointments get cancelled she has to rely on NGO staff or her son, who can speak the language better, to call on her behalf and reschedule appointments for her. And lastly,

Fereshteh also shared that she had a hard time understanding and independently

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navigating the banking system and writing checks and the fact that she relies on her liaison to take care of that for her.

Each of the above illustrations demonstrate the role the liaison played in the refugees’ lives, particularly when English language acquisition was a challenge. When these women came to the U.S., AFR liaisons were the first group of Americans whom they got to know and interact with on daily basis. So, AFR liaisons and translators became the key group on whom refugees could rely, communicate with, and learn basic

English from before attending ESL classes (Steimel, 2011, 2017). Additionally, throughout the early phases of resettlement, refugees rely on NGOs’ liaisons to explain many social, cultural, economic, and legal concepts, norms, and routines that can be very foreign to refugees coming from different backgrounds with their own unique norms and patterns. The positive side of the reliance of refugees on liaisons is that refugees can get help with and knowledge about certain routines and tasks (such as grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.) from individuals who are familiar with the host culture as a native. In other words, refugees have their AFR liaisons as extra pair of hands who can overlook, assist, and guide them as they become familiar with the new cultural daily routines.

But, on the other hand, this dependency can bring its own challenges for refugees as they try to navigate the new everyday routines and tasks within U.S. Each of these women have had their similar yet uniquely different challenges due to their illiteracy and limited English language understanding, which forces them to rely heavily on the NGO staff and liaisons and hindering their progress toward more independency. In other words, refugees’ illiteracy and lack of English language proficiency must rely on their liaisons’ 176

and entrust them with their lives and livelihood. Therefore, the findings of this research study show that while refugees close contact and relationship with liaisons is certainly helpful in meaningful in moving them toward becoming independent, the relationship can also hinder their independence because the refugees rely heavily on liaisons for daily life activities, tasks, and routines. Receiving help with daily tasks is critical throughout the early transitional period of resettlement, but it is also counterproductive as it can hinder some of the motivation/confidence/ability to learn the new language, adjust to the new culture, adapt to new everyday routines, and advance in the society as an independent person/family.

Overall, I would argue that motivation has been the key component influencing the female refugees’ progress. Fortunately, with the help of AFR and their liaisons, these women have had their immediate (i.e., housing) and other less pressing needs met (i.e., counseling sessions) which provides them with motivation to fulfill and reach other goals and tasks. However, having access to these liaisons may have also slowed the women’s motivation to learn English. Ultimately, though, I would argue that for these women, becoming the “breadwinner” for the family—due to either a lack of a man or a man’s illness—has been the greatest motivating factor to learning English. As they took on new roles not typically assigned to women in their home culture, they found themselves pushed to find ways to cope.

The Impact of Gender Role Expectations. Previous studies which looked at refugees’ resettlement, acculturation, and second language acquisitions in the host country, mostly examined the differences and similarities between male and female 177

refugees. Namely, male refugees develop more language skills and are able to integrate within the new culture faster when compared to their female counter parts (Beiser & Hou,

2000, 2001; Tran, 1998; Tubergen, 2010). However, when these refugees are from patriarchal societies, the men typically assume the role of breadwinners and providers of that family, and, as such, have more time to develop their language skills through their jobs (Beiser & Hou, 2000, 2001; Tran, 1998; Tubergen, 2010).

Based on the findings of interviews with these women, being the sole member responsible for the survival of the family and household has been the key motivating factor for Fereshteh and Nasim, two single mothers, to push themselves to learn English despite and considering their illiteracy and other challenging issues. In Zinat’s case, she also expresses her need and interest in learning English; however, initially, given her husband was present in the home, she did not find herself in similar position of the single mothers who had no other choice but to provide for their families. However, as her husband’s health deteriorates, her desire to learn English more quickly and to become a breadwinner grows. From the experiences of these three women, it can be argued that the motivation to push themselves out of their comfort zones becomes more powerful as the survival and livelihood of their families depended on it. So, they learn a new language despite their illiteracy, limited English language proficiency, and limited understanding of the new culture, and gradually integrate themselves within the new culture to sustain their family.

Therefore, it is crucial for new research to focus more on women’s experiences specifically, because only comparing them to men and their experiences leaves out the 178

importance of prescribed/socialized gender roles. The following section explores how the importance of gender roles and expectations came to light in the findings.

Unpacking the “Nongendered” Perspective

In addition to challenges caused by illiteracy and limited English language understanding, which are usually common issues among the refugee population, perhaps the most significant aspect for these three women is the issue of (lack of/) presence of a man. Single mothers, Fereshteh and Nasim, and married mother, Zinat, have shared how presence or lack of presence a man in their lives have impacted and changed their lives pre- and post-flight. Notably, these women opened about how having/not having a man in their family influences them as they are adjusting to the new daily routines and tasks.

Notably, I did not include, initiate, or ask any question specific to the presence of a man in their life within/from my interview protocol, and this was a concept that was organically brought up by each of these women as they shared their stories. This spontaneous disclosure was an important goal in this research because I aimed to provide these refugees with the chance to have the agency and control over how they want to share their experiences and to what extent, and have them be the narrator of their stories through this dissertation research.

This focus on female refugees’ stories was particularly important to me since for so long, as previous research also points out (e.g., Boyd & Grieco, 2003; Brettell, 2017;

Hajdukowski-Ahmed et al., 2009; Morokvasic, 1984), refugee studies looked at refugees and their experiences as a whole, or more specifically as Lacroix (2000) referred to it as

“nongendered” (p. 51). Feminist studies researchers, starting from the ‘70s and ‘80s, 179

started to look at the concept of gender within international migration theories and pointed out the ‘invisibility’ of women in those studies (Hirlal & Jinnah, 2018; Jolly &

Reeves, 2005). In studies that there was some focus, it was dominantly on experiences of men, who are perceived to be the leader of their family and the ones responsible for the social and economic prosperity of that family (Hajdukowski-Ahmed et al., 2009; Moussa,

1992). But in the past couple of decades researchers started to acknowledge the difference between experiences of female and male refugees and focus on and analyze the experience of each gender separately (Kihato, 2007; Krummel, 2012; Manchanda,

2004; Piper, 2008). Moreover, feminist studies argued that because gender is a social construct, is important to examine how the culture where the refugee women come from have impact on their journey to the host country particularly in relationship to constituting different expectations, roles, behaviors, and norms of femininity and masculinity within different cultures (Boyd & Grieco, 2003). When female refugees, such as three women within this dissertation research, come from patriarchal societies where women’s responsibilities and roles are strictly defined for them by their society, religion, tribe, fathers and brothers, and then husbands and even sons, they might have a very different experience from refugee women coming from less traditional or more gender- equal societies.

Whether pre-flight and in their own country or post-flight as they resettle in the new culture, female refugees face significantly different experiences and challenges compared to their male counterparts. Female refugees and displaced women are more at risk of gender-based violence, rape, forced marriage, forced pregnancy and/or abortion, 180

sexual and mental abuse prior to and during their flight when they live in camps or temporary places before resettling in their permanent country (Bartolomei et al., 2014).

The hardships and traumas that these women go through often multiply upon their arrival, forcing women to face new challenges and issues which they have to navigate through and overcome as they resettle in the new culture. Hajdukowski-Ahmed et al. (2009) explain that the “past experiences of refugee women are multiple, confusing, disturbing, painful, and deeply affect their identity” throughout their resettlement journey (p. 44). As

Bartolomei and colleagues (2014) also described in their study of at-risk refugee women in Australia, in addition to struggles with education, housing, employment, and healthcare, many female refugees face racism and injustice within the new culture.

Refugees in America have to deal with and fight against many cultural, racial, and religious discriminations (Correa-Velez et al., 2010; Hutchinson & Dorsett, 2012;

Nashwan et al., 2017; Salari, 2002; Terrazas, 2009) particularly in light of the U.S.’s

(everchanging) prejudiced and unwelcoming government refugee policies (Cruz, 2019;

Heines, 2012; Hurley, 2018; Loescher & Scanlan, 1986) and negative and stereotypical media portrayals (Al-Thani, 2018; Brader et al., 2008; Steimel, 2009). Muslim refugees in particular face harsh treatment and targeted discrimination (e.g., Trump’s travel bans), media portrayals, public misconceptions, and islamophobia directed towards people coming from Muslim-majority countries (Abu-Raiya et al., 2011; Khan & Ecklund, 2012;

Sheridan, 2006). Notably, female Muslim refugees wearing traditional clothing and hijab are among the (if not the) most vulnerable population. Their clothing makes them easily identifiable and visible in the community/society, making them the target of more racial 181

and religious discrimination in public than Muslim refugee men without any identifiable clothing (Connor et al., 2016; Williams & Vashi, 2007). This factor then adds to the number of challenges which female Muslim refugees must navigate through as they are adjusting and resettling in the new culture (Connor et al., 2016).

In addition to challenges discussed so far, many refugee women, specially similar to Afghan refugees in this study, who come from patriarchal societies where each gender is defined, assigned, and expected to fulfill certain roles within the family and society, suddenly have to take on new roles in the host country (Boyd & Grieco, 2003). Previous studies examined the change in the roles that female and male refugees had to adapt to, especially considering and due to the new socioeconomic contexts within the new culture

(Mahler, 1999; Mahler & Pessar, 2006; Menjivar, 2000; Naywn, 2010). More specifically, many of those studies, including feminist studies which focus on gender relations in migration theories, have examined how refugee women have taken on different roles in the host country compared to what they traditionally and culturally were doing in their own country (Bhanji, 2011; Hajdukowski-Ahmed et al., 2009; Nawyn,

2010). In the studies where they focused on the ways the gender roles of refugees have changed within the new culture, they have noticed that in some instances the refugee men/husbands were not happy with the shift in gender roles. For instance, in their study of identity and mental health of Sudanese female refugees in Canada, Hayward et al.

(2009) found that these women have expressed that they have become “more aware of their rights as women” since their arrival in Canada and have shown and developed significant agency and ability to take on new roles and responsibilities (inside and outside 182

of the house), which from these women’s perspective have been both empowering and exhausting at times (p. 210).

Interestingly enough, in the same study the authors noticed that “Sudanese men felt more vulnerable as they had lost their traditional control and their role as man wage earners, and felt threatened by the fact that women enjoyed more freedom, financial independence, and rights” (Hayward et al., p. 210). As this and other similar research

(Kleist, 2010; Ritchie, 2018) have examined, in settings where the wives/females of the households took on and performed different roles compared to their roles in their original country, the husbands/males had difficulty understanding and accepting the shift, since they felt their masculinity, identity, and authority was being challenged.

A review of the previous studies looking at refugee experiences reveals a gap within those studies considering the very fact that that in many of them male and female refugees were both considered and examined together. I argue that naturally when both genders are considered within one study, or rather female refugees’ agency, acculturation,

English language acquisition, and adoption of new roles are examined within refugees’ family dynamic, those elements are automatically compared and analyzed in relation to those of their husbands. However, in this dissertation research, where I solely focus on women who similar to Fereshteh and Nasim do not have any man physically present in their life and Zinat who has a husband but due to his illness she is beginning to face similar challenges as the single mothers, the process of resettlement is different. I noticed that these women’s acculturation, English language understanding, employment, and adaptation of new roles is similar and yet different from families where the man is the 183

head of household and the breadwinner of family. They are similar because these women, due to the fact that they are single mothers or have a husband with worsening health problems, have had the motivation or in fact no other choice but to push themselves out of their comfort zones, learn English as a second language, find jobs, and gradually familiar and integrate themselves within the new culture, exactly same as a refugee husband/father (traditionally expected to be) responsible for the family. And they are different, because female refugees, particularly Afghan female refugees, who come from traditional and patriarchal societies, have experienced such hardship and gender-based violence, trauma, and unique challenges and struggles as they try to resettle in the new country. Now, in addition to their past traumas, they must also grapple with the difficulty of embracing a new identity and roles to which they were not previously accustomed.

There are broad range of studies within different disciplines, such as English and learning (e.g., Erden, 2016; Warrnier, 2007, 2015), sociology (Boyd & Greico, 2003;

Moussa, 1992; Hajdukowski-Ahmed et al., 2009; Nawyn, 2010), communication studies

(Nashwan et al., 2017; Smith, 2009, 2012) as well as many other disciplines that have focused on specific experiences, challenges, accomplishments of female refugees within and throughout their resettlement journey in the host country. Many of them specifically have discussed the fact that when a male figure is not present in the family, whether he has died, was killed, or went back home due to unemployment in the host country, the female refugees have taken on many roles that traditionally are separated into male/masculine and female/feminine categories. For instance, Bhanji (2011) discussed in her research that female Afghan refugees who did not have a man in their family have 184

adapted to new roles, such as becoming the head of household. Or Hayward et al., (2009) noticed that female Sudanese refugees who “came alone or had male family members who were unemployed or disabled by the war” had to take on new roles and responsibilities which were far from what they traditionally were used to (p. 210). While these previous research studies have mentioned the challenges that refugee women without presence of a man or with man with disabilities face, none of them delved deep

Mard va Madad) mean in the lives of female) مرد و مدد into what does the presence of refugees and what is its impact on their everyday lives during the resettlement journey, specifically from the perspective Afghan female refugees. Through this dissertation, however, I search deeper to find out and understand how these challenges such as their illiteracy and lack of/limited English language knowledge, lack of presence of a man, and the new roles and responsibilities which these women had to take on have influenced their resettlement in the new culture and adjustment to the new everyday cultural routines.

These three women have shared how lack of/presence of a man in in their family have affected them their whole lives. When recalling their life and experiences prior to seeking refuge in the U.S., they each opened up about the ways their lives were easier/happier or harder/sadder because they had or did not have a male figure in their life. For instance, as it was discussed in Chapter 5, Fereshteh shared that when she had a male figure in her life, such as her father or husband, her life was easier from her perspective. She shared that she lost her father very young, forcing her mom to work very

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hard for other people as a maid to earn income to be able to support the family without a male figure. She shared:

I got married at 13, because I did not have any other choice. We didn’t have

money; my poor mom would work for people. She still does to this day. She had 5

.(Mard va Madad) مرد و مدد kids. She also did not have

Fereshteh described that both she and her mother experienced similar issues, losing the male figures in their lives. But, because of those losses she and her mother were forced to stand on their own feet, go against many gender norms in their culture, work outside of the house, and take charge of their family. Or in Nasim’s case, she was young when she lost her parents and then got married and became a housewife shortly after their death. Once she got divorced, she and her son lived with her sister for a while, but then she describes that she was not comfortable being a burden on her sister and her family. She shared:

I lived with my sister for a year…after that I told myself that I cannot live with

her my whole life and have her [help me] take care of my son. She was also

suffering, she had to take care of her kids. So, I rented a house and found a job as

a washer. I would go to work most of the day, and I did not have anyone to look

after my child. I would come back and see that my son is all alone (she is teared

up).

Nasim, like Fereshteh, also describes that from some point on she became the breadwinner of her family and had to take care of her son. Therefore, based on the past experiences of both single mothers, these women were never unfamiliar with or 186

inexperienced in taking on new roles and having to be the head of the household. In other words, from the time they became single moms—in their home country—they both took on new roles and responsibilities which traditionally were and are defined for men of the household in their culture. More specifically, in the findings of this research, I noticed that while these women in many ways found the lack of presence of a man to be a challenging and problematic experience, which stems from their socialization/culture, but that same challenge also became a driving force in their motivation to become accustomed to a new culture. So, considering and despite their challenges, they did whatever they could for their family because they were solely responsible for the survival of the family. Zinat, on the other hand, back home had a different experience compared to the single mothers. Because her husband was the breadwinner of the house and she was never forced to work outside. However, one time her husband had to stay in hospital for

45 days due to the accident, and she experienced the impact of her illiteracy and realized the family’s reliance on her husband. She shared:

When you don’t have destiny/luck…our parents never give us education, we

ourselves never tried hard enough…we ended up being

uneducated/illiterate…[when we were back home] we relied on our motorcycle as

a family…doctors operated on my husband’s legs four times, [during that time] I

would boil couple of small potatoes for kids to eat…I didn’t know what else to

do…

Here, Zinat mentions many key elements regarding her past and more importantly how she perceives them. In her view, the fact that she is illiterate is one, because of 187

her/her family’s destiny or luck and two, because her parents never had the means/were able to provide her with education. And because she was illiterate, she relied on her husband and was not able to work, bring income, and have a more comfortable situation when her husband was at the hospital. So, even though Zinat never got to the point to be the sole/another breadwinner of the family, she realized because of her husband’s injury and illness he cannot always be the only one bringing income to the family.

However, the presence of a man signifies more than simply a source of income.

Mard va Madad), which means having a man) مرد و مدد For these women the concept of and partner who supports and protects, is about that sense of safety and security. For the single mothers specifically, who both lost their reliable and protective male figures in their lives (i.e, for Fereshteh, her father and husband, and for Nasim, her father) and also

مرد و مدد withstood and dealt with abusive family members or husbands, the concept of

(Mard va Madad) seems to mean someone beyond a mere breadwinner. For instance, as it was explained in Chapter 5, Fereshteh mentioned that she recently got engaged in the

U.S. to a man back in Afghanistan because she felt more safe and secure knowing (or in fact for other people to also know) that there is a male figure in her life. On the contrary,

مرد و مدد Zinat’s description shows that she has never experienced lack of presence of

(Mard va Madad) similar to what Fereshteh and Nasim have shared. Because, she always had her husband present and reliable in her life and she also has older children, especially a son, who based on her description helps her and the family with many things, such as translation or learning to drive a car. However, the other two women have younger children who are able to help with translation but with not many other daily routines and 188

tasks. So, while each of these women have had unique experiences throughout their preflight, flight, and resettlement journey due to their circumstances, they seem to have very common underlying challenges in the early transitional periods in their new home.

I believe the key concept which can explain what these refugee women have experienced so far can be linked to role expectation. It seems that when it comes to both their perception of men’s role in the household and their own desire and (or frustration) regarding their (lack of) progress toward more independence, they have (or have developed) certain expectation of what those mean in their life. As it was discussed previously, because of the influence of patriarchal norms and ideas they have specific perspective about what presence of a male figure mean in their lives. However, considering their circumstance, they have had no choice but to adopt responsibilities which traditionally were defined and assigned to men in their culture. Additionally, over time, especially since their arrival in the U.S. and resettlement in the new culture, they have realized that they need to take on more new unique roles and responsibilities which they were not used to or expected to do in their own culture. Therefore, throughout their resettlement process these women have had to face, (re)evaluate, and (re)adjust their expectation of many of these new roles, whether due to lack of presence of a man or the nature or pressure of the new culture. Further, they had to battle against their own

Mard va Madad) argues are often) مرد و مدد feelings of insecurity or fear—feelings which soothed by the presence of a man.

Fereshteh, Nasim, and Zinat are all very strong and resilient women who have endured and overcame many life challenges and hardships through their journey to their 189

Mard va Madad) should not) مرد و مدد second home. Their discussion of presence of imply that they are in need of a man, weak, and/or incapable of leading, nurturing, and advancing their families. In fact, contrary to the previous dominant research discourses that depict refugee women as victims in need of help, through this research and reliance on critical feminist theories, I argue that these women are capable and strong women who can learn and rebuild their life in their new country (Dadds, 2011; Edren, 2017;

Loftsdottir, 2011).

Mard va Madad) is about) مرد و مدد Additionally, for these women the concept of having a life-long committed partner who can shoulder to shoulder to them lead and help the family advance in life. It is about moving beyond only surviving and more importantly providing their children with the opportunities to flourish, feel empowered, and become successful in life. And luckily these women had other caring key figures with them who have been advocating, guiding, and assisting them throughout the process of resettling: AFR liaisons. Throughout their journey to a better life in the host country, these women and their families have had AFR liaisons helping and working beside them.

The following section will provide a discussion of how this NGO and its liasions were able to provide the support the refugees needed as well as the specific challenges which they faced along the way.

AFR Liaisons’ Work in Refugees’ Everyday Lives

The goal of research question two was to explore how AFR liaisons and translators work, guide, and advocate for these three female Afghan refugees as they go through different stages of resettlement process in the U.S. By posing this question I 190

wanted to see what these liaisons and volunteers, who are mostly women, experienced and how they helped refugees navigate through the new culture with its all complexities and ups and downs. Additionally, I wanted to examine the possible dynamics, friendships, and challenges that exists and come from such close relationships. The findings of the answer to the second research question led to one overarching metaphor to describe the relationship between AFR liaisons and refugees: a woven parent-child relationship. With this metaphor as a grounding lens, I uncovered one major overarching theme, dependency vs/and autonomy, and two subthemes, (a) discouraging vs/and fulfilling, and (b) expectation vs/and reality. In the following sections I will discuss the salient aspects within the findings of second research question in two categories (a) obstacles of independence and (b) importance of true representation. First, I will discuss how my research extends previous research on refugees’ independence and role of refugee-advocacy NGO in helping or hindering refugee’s progress toward more autonomy and in doing so, I will speak to the contribution my study has for dialectics theory. In that category, I will also address the gap within previous research while discussing the importance of NGOs considering both refugees’ cultural background and norms and Conservation of Resources (COR) theory as they try to help refugees throughout their resettlement journey. Second, I will extend the previous research examining NGOs’ representation of refugees and emphasize the importance of avoiding further stigmatizing, labeling, and marginalizing refugees, particularly female Afghan refugees. In the following section I will discuss each of these aspects of my findings with respect to the second research question. 191

Obstacles of Independence

From the moment refugees set foot in the states or towns where they have been assigned to, the local refugee-advocacy NGOs responsible for them greet them at the airport, pick them up, and start their initial resettlement process. On a national level there are variety of NGOs who work directly under the supervision of the UNHCR or independently to help refugees throughout different phases of their journey (UNHCR, n.d.). Different NGOs, considering the state or city they are in (for instance, Columbus vs. Houston), their available resources, budget and funding, number of volunteers are able to support and help refugees in various major and minor ways (Frantz, 1987).

However, the difference of local NGOs, such as AFR, compared to bigger NGOs (e.g.,

Refugee International or Amnesty International in metropolitan areas like Washington

DC and New York) is that local NGOs’ liaisons are deeply involved and interact with refugees through every step of their resettlement process within the new culture.

Many of these local NGOs are not contracted with the federal government and they work with refugees beyond the basic federal six-month resettlement program as they choose to help refugees in many areas and for a longer period of time (Nawyn, 2011).

Previous research that has examined the role of NGOs in refugees’ resettlement processes in the host country have also discussed the fact that throughout the early transitional period, refugees rely on NGOs and their guidance and support as they learn about and adapt to the new culture and its dimensions, complexities, and nuances (Kenny &

Mamuji, 2018; Steimel, 2011; Smith, 2009; Waxman, 1998). As it was discussed throughout the previous chapters, the three women in this study, Fereshteh, Nasim, and 192

Zinat, as well as other local refugees who are at the receiving end of AFR’s support, have relied on the help and support of this NGO in its different forms. These services vary widely, from learning basic English and getting enrolled in ESL classes, getting accompaniment and help at doctor’s appointment, receiving financial assistance (e.g., paying the rent), understanding and learning the new cultural and economic concepts such as banking system, and receiving clothes and other necessary needs (McBrien, 2005;

Rush, 2017).). So, as a small-town local NGO, AFR, from the beginning of their establishment, has been very involved in the lives of all the refugee families who they have taken under their wings. In the past 3 years, AFR liaisons assigned to each family have been working closely with their family, introducing, helping, and guiding them throughout the early phases of resettlement in their small town and the U.S. in general.

For instance, Reese, one of the liaisons, shared:

I do interact with the families directly, taking them to doctor’s appointment,

taking them grocery shopping, making phone calls with them sitting beside me so

I can have consent to clear up conversations whether they be medical or bill

related, I don’t know… I help with ESL classes but those… the moms are

working now so we don’t do ESL…

Here, Reese shared how from the beginning and throughout refugees’ resettlement process, the AFR liaisons have been involved and had to help refugees in many aspects of their lives. Erden (2017) have explained that different local NGOs work in different ways to help refugees, particularly refugee women, in the host culture; in other words: “while some organizations aim to empower refugee women, increase their 193

social adaptation and provide emotional and spiritual support, others focus on teaching the local language and other necessary skills in refugees’ new communities” (p. 252).

AFR, I would argue, in fact does all sorts of advocacy work, but is not limited to what

Erden (2017) describes. AFR liaisons, from introducing these refugee women to new cultural concepts, tasks, and routines, teaching the refugee parents about educational system for children in the U.S, to enrolling in and taking the adult refugees to ESL classes, strive to help refugee women in any way they need help.

One of the liaisons, Portia, discussed what were and still are some of the concepts that they had to teach and help refugees understand and navigate through within the new culture. She shared:

Well, having to navigate all this school stuff for their children is just, that is just a

huge shock. It's, you know, just having to understand the schedule and… mostly

to people who are illiterate…learning how to read English and having to keep up

with the school schedules. And, you know, trying to keep up with their children

score…it's really, it's taken an army of people to help the refugees with the day to

day stuff. But I think in particular, everything related to school for their children.

That is, it's kind of overwhelming. It's hard for Americans to keep up with all that.

And, when they all started working and working around their work schedule,

school schedule, all these different activities that they really have needed a

tremendous amount of assistance with that…

Here Portia shares that for refugees, particularly the single mother that she works with, understanding and navigating the U.S. educational system and their children’s 194

performance in school was one of the most challenging aspects. She explains that only through collaboration and work of liaisons, volunteers, teachers, and tutors they were able to help refugee parents and children navigate and make progress through school schedule. Especially considering the fact that most of these children never had the chance to go to school in their country, and for them and their parents this was the first time they had to learn how the school system and schedule work. Previous research also suggests that local and community-based NGOs play a significant role not only in helping refugee children have access to education and “informing families and children about the social, cultural, educational, and political expectation embedded in the education system of the host community” but also advance in it (Edren, 2017, p. 252; Isik-Ercan, 2012).

Portia continued:

…the other challenge is the whole medical situation, because most of them have

medical problems and extreme medical problems and I think there were many

times where the refugees they just want, they want to go the doctor all the time.

You know (laughs),

...whether it really was warranted or somebody would have to figure out, well, is

this really something that needs to be addressed by a doctor or not? And I know

that. Well, certainly for the woman who I help, she went to the emergency rooms

at times when it wasn't helpful for her to go to the emergency room. It wasn't an

emergency, I mean, she'd get upset and pass out. She has a habit of passing out.

And I've seen her when she passed out. And it's kind of scary. But I know now

she'll get upset about something and she's just like keel over and, you know, then 195

go into the emergency department. You know, you're there for hours. And it is, it

isn't necessarily what is needed. What is needed is just a quiet place for somebody

responsible. You know while She calms down. But somebody has to figure out

whether it's an emergency or not. And you know, that time where she passed out

at work. She passed out like five times. You know, she clearly needs to go to

emergency room that night. But there have been times when she was having a

panic attack. You don't need to go to emergency rooms for panic attack.

Additionally, in the above quote Portia discusses that another concept that from her experience AFR liaisons had to help the Afghan women (and their families) with was with medical issues and (un)necessary doctor’s visits. From the perspective of Portia and other liaisons, as well as what the three refugee women have also shared, the health and medical system of the U.S. is very different from what these women and their family have known and were used to throughout their whole life in their own country. Portia shares that she had and still has to help the refugee woman who she works with understand the medical and emergency system here in the United States. She has tried to explain to her that because of the expensive cost of emergency room and health insurance’s limited coverage of ER visits, going to the ER is not always the best or first option if a person is for instance having a panic attack. To provide a little context, in many countries such as Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iran (where all these women have lived at some point in their lives before seeking refuge in the U.S.) visiting urgent-care or emergency room in the hospital cost nothing or a fraction of what it costs in the U.S.

Therefore, refugees (and in general people) from such countries are used to visiting 196

doctors more frequently for various reasons and issues that they cannot figure out themselves and have not experienced before, such as panic attacks, head pains, PTSD, etc. So, the reason behind why this refugee wanted to/requested to be taken to ER every time she passed out or had panic attack can stem from her different cultural norms, rules, and lifelong experiences of seeking medical attention in her society that is different from those of host country (Mangario & Forss, 2017).

As evidenced above, the AFR liaisons have become valuable actors who significantly help refugees become more familiar with different complicated and new concepts, routines, and tasks of the host culture. Also considering the fact that all these

AFR female liaisons are active members of the community that refugees are resettling in, they have resources and connections with the local churches, universities, hospital doctors, and counselors who are interested in helping refugees throughout their resettlement journey. Emily, one of the liaisons, shared how the local community and its members and volunteers have been able to help AFR liaisons assist refugees in many ways:

…We have a big group of people involved because we, we had at the peak six

families. And so, we had a large group of volunteers. And I'm sure every one of

those people in their personal lives were making outreach. And, you know, it's

amazing the connections that you'd say, we really need an orthodontist. We really

need a, somebody, [and then] somebody’s little fingers would go out and you'd

get a phone call. I know a tutor who could help this student with this specific

need. And, you know, we've, every time we ask, we get a great response as well. 197

You know, we've furnished six apartments completely for free. We found clothes

for these people and they arrived completely for free. I mean, every dollar goes to

what they need because we haven't had to pay for those things.

In the excerpt above Emily describes how the local community have continued to offer a helping hand and support AFR in any way they could, which made their work easier and, more importantly, the lives of refugees better. Previous studies also have examined how different local NGOs and members of host communities in different part of the world have advocated and assisted refugees in different ways they could. For instance, Barnes and Aguilar (2007) in their study discussed the ways the local churches, community centers, and volunteers helped Cuban refugees in the U.S. learn the language, cultural, housing, and economic concepts and any other skill that could benefit and advance them in the new society. Or, in her study of Lebanese community organizations,

Mackreath (2014) noticed that the members of the community and volunteers provided help and shelter for refugees without having expectation for compensation and out of sympathy and kindness of their heart.

AFR liaisons have been involved in the lives of refugees from the moment they stepped foot in their town and over time have developed unique relationships. Nina, one of the volunteers, shared how involved liaisons and volunteers have been, especially early on, in the day to day life of refugees and the areas that they had to help them with:

[we had to help them ] with everything, they are like babies. You have to do

everything with them. You know…from taking them to grocery shopping from

going to doctor you know, having a surgery and going to counseling, counseling 198

was a big part. And, what else? Going to a school. All the programs that school

has for the kids because they were so behind, everything financially, and

everything.

Here, in the excerpt above Nina describes her and other liaisons’ and volunteers’ level of involvement in the lives of the refugees and describes their relationship with them as parental figures trying to teach their children about new and necessary things.

The metaphor of parent-child relationship with its similarities and complexities was a concept which was used by many of the liaisons as they were trying to describe their relationship with refugees.

However, based on the findings of my research I would argue that this characterization of the liaison-refugee relationship as analogous to a parent-child relationship has advantages and disadvantages. It brings advantage because similar to a parent-child relationship, liaisons want to encourage refugees’ independence and help them become self-sufficient sooner. On the other hand, however, that same relationship might backfire, because when liaisons become paternalistic, if/when the structure of the

NGO is not set up to support it, and if/when the NGO does not have a strong and necessary understanding of refugees’ cultural background and individual trauma, they will not be able to effectively help refugees throughout the resettlement process. In the following sections I will unpack and expand on each of these obstacles. But before delving into discussing those obstacles it is first important to establish how and why liaisons-refugee relationship got to be compared to the parent-child relationship.

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Liaison-Refugee Relationship as a Parent-Child Relationship. Over time and because of the AFR liaisons’ involvement in the everyday lives of refugees, these two groups have developed a close relationship. Considering the vulnerability and basic needs of refugees (such as housing, foods, employment, etc.), AFR liaisons and volunteers are with and assisting refugees extensively throughout the early transitional period of their resettlement. As refugees are resettling in the new society and community, they come across many new concepts, tasks, and daily routines that are unique to the American culture. And the AFR liaisons, as the native members of this culture, become the important teachers and guides for the refugees throughout the early months and years of their resettlement. As it was discussed in Chapter 6, AFR liaisons describe their relationship with refugees in many ways, but perhaps the most-used metaphorical relationship they compared it to was the parent-child relationship. And similar to a parent-child relationship, there are rewards and challenges within liaisons’ relationships with refugees. Based on the emergent themes of AFR liaisons’ interviews, one overarching category dependency-autonomy, and two subsequent subthemes,

(a)discouraging-fulfilling, and (b) expectation-reality were discussed. In the upcoming paragraphs I will discuss the dependency aspect as it became the salient subtheme within the findings drawn from this relationship. Additionally, I will discuss how this aspect and achieving it became a very significant part of this NGO’s discourse in regard to refugees and the challenges which they have faced because of it.

When it comes to the parent-child relationship, one of the ultimate goals of parents is to nurture and educate their children and provide them with the tools and skills 200

which will help them advance independently in their life. The dependency vs/and autonomy tension present in the relationship between these two groups is closely similar to a dialectical tension which previous researchers (Baxter & Montgomery, 1996;

Goldsmith, 1990; Peterson, 2020; Rawlins, 1992) refer to as “connection-autonomy.”

According to those scholars, this tension is typically used to describe close relationships such as friendship, romantic relationship, and/or family relationship. In both romantic and family relationships, the connection-autonomy tension points out the constant interplay of desire for connection and continuation, roles, limits, and levels of commitment performed by all the parties involved in those relationships (Baxter & Montgomery, 1996;

Goldsmith, 1990). Typically, this theory is studied within the context of romantic partners and families. However, when it comes to liaisons and refugees, the negotiation of refugees’ autonomy within this relationship and their goals toward it in general play out differently; the actors are equal in age but not power or dependence, introducing a new dynamic. The presence of this dialectic in my findings extends work on relational dialectics theory by examining its presence in a new context, but also offers insight into how these tensions might be communicatively managed by individuals outside of these traditionally-studied relationships.

In many ways, those competing goals are also true in terms of liaisons-refugee relationship. Previous research that has examined the role of NGOs in refugees resettlement process in the host country has also discussed the fact that throughout the early transitional period refugees rely on NGOs and their guidance and support as they learn about and adapt to the new culture and its dimensions, complexities, and nuances 201

(Kenny & Mamuji, 2018; Steimel, 2011; Smith, 2009; Waxman, 1998). As it was discussed throughout the previous chapters, the three women under study, Fereshteh,

Nasim, and Zinat, as well as other local refugees who are at the receiving end of AFR’s support, have relied on the help and support of this NGO in its different forms, such as learning basic English, receiving financial assistance understanding and learning the new cultural concepts such as banking system, and receiving clothes and other necessary needs. One of the liaisons, Reese, described how AFR liaisons have tried to advocate for refugees throughout the early phases and help them toward more independence:

Getting in there and really getting to know them to find out what they need, you

know, they are hurting inside in a way I can’t relate to, I never been in a worn and

torn [war-torn] country or um, never, I mean they don’t have an education… so

you are trying to help them get as much help as they can so they can succeed, so

that they can hopefully live independently on their own and know what’s it like to

pay bills and pay for rent…

In the excerpt above Reese shares that AFR liaisons empathetically have held the hands of refugees and educated them about the necessary everyday concepts and tasks within the American culture. More specifically, she explains that they have provided help for the refugees so they can advance in the society and become more independent. But, of course there have been challenges as AFR liaisons have immersed themselves so much in the lives refugees and have tried to help them (re)gain their independence in the new culture. I would argue that one of the possible reasons behind why AFR liaisons have been facing some challenges regarding refugees’ independence comes from the very fact 202

that this NGO is a local community NGO in its truest sense. AFR director, Martin, described how they established this NGO:

Yeah, myself and two others…was just talking to church, our concern for

refugees, in particular, at that time, it was Syria and wanted to do something. So,

we started making calls to learn how you go about helping resettle refugees. We

got intense about it pretty fast and a lot of other people joined us pretty fast. And

over the course of a few months, we developed sort of a huge network, you know,

literally many dozens of people, over a hundred, working the plan and figure out

how we would go about it. And that all started in June or July and by October we

had a family here.

They established this NGO and recruited volunteers through their community network in matter of few months solely for the sake of helping refugees during refugee crisis. Like any other NGO, AFR coordinated with the State Department and went through the necessary process of receiving and welcoming refugees in their own town.

Because they were able to create it in a very short time and did not have the extensive resources and experiences of more established NGOs in bigger cities, they had to figure out the rest of the resettlement process on their own. This improvisational approach led to them going with the process that from their perspective would help refugees transition better to the new culture, which was to become very involved in the everyday routines and tasks of their refugees’ lives. They consciously or unconsciously were impacted by refugees’ feedback and experiences of receiving limited support from other local NGOs such as CRR, and therefore wanted to be more helpful and more hands-on throughout the 203

process compared to others. Martin also shared that while their hands-on approach as an

NGO has helped and improved the lives of their refugees significantly in the past couple of years, it has also has caused challenges now that they want to help refugees become more independent (i.e., less reliant on the NGO and liaisons). And in his perspective, one of the ways he and the AFR team can figure out that process is to talk to other NGOs and get their ideas and success stories of how they have been able to help refugees throughout their journey to independence. He shared:

But I would still like to know what other people have learned, especially with this

backing off thing where we have to tell a volunteer who has [refugee] kids calling

them grandma and we would have to tell her, “spend less time, back off, don't do

that for them anymore”. You know, we have some who are all about that. And

some who just cannot accept that. So, I would love to talk to other people who

this sort of work and how they handle that stuff.

So, here Martin talked about how through reaching out to other NGOs they want to figure out more efficient ways to go about this challenge and help refugees better throughout these transitional periods. And the fact that AFR has been open to having researchers such as me (focusing mostly on refugees’ voices) and another group of local university researchers (focusing on AFR’s organizational behavior and performance) collaborate with them is a clear sign of their effort to have a better assessment of their advocacy work and its impact on refugees throughout their resettlement process. On the other hand, however, due to the very fact that AFR is a small local NGO created by community people and perhaps because they did not have clear upfront communication 204

with refugees and have tried to figure things out as they went along, refugees’ journeys to independence has become very challenging, in part because of the very structure and nature of the NGO, which results in some miscommunication and perhaps unmet expectations.

Arguably another big reason behind liaisons-refugees challenges in regard to their process toward refugees’ independence is in fact the parental figure approach of liaison toward refugees. Zoey, one of the volunteers in AFR, who also mostly worked with them as a local university researcher to provide more outside perspective to the NGO, also discussed her perspective on this issue and described her observation of AFR liaisons and refugees’ unique dynamic, especially compared to CRR. Zoey shared:

I think one of the biggest challenges has just been like internally with AFR

is…the paternalism that a lot of the volunteers have with [refugees]. Like I'm

helping you, and so you should do the things that I think are right for you. Instead

of kind of empowering somebody to make their own decisions and to do things

for themselves. And so I think that's kind of been like an ongoing struggle of like,

how to…because, again, it's like people with good intentions. But are those good

intentions good enough? Like there's a guy who wrote this speech, “to hell with

good intentions”…And I think it's important to kind of remind ourselves of that…

And so I think we've been having a lot of conversations about like how AFR is

structured and is it best to have like this person as a liaison who's like deeply

invested in a family. But then a lot of emotions and a lot of other stuff goes into

that. And then you are so deeply invested that I think it's hard to like to separate 205

yourselves sometimes from decisions that are made. And you'll see that person as

like your son or daughter. And yes, that's a good thing. But I think even when you

have a child, I think it's important to let that child make mistakes or let that child

decide things on their own. Like you can't be a helicopter parent. I mean, you can,

but it's not good for them. And so like figuring out how to kind of balance

that…Like, OK, this is what I'm going to do as a volunteer. And this is like where

I'm going to stop. And I think like other agencies, you know, like CRR and other

places, like they're very problematic, because, like, you [as a refugee] show up

and you get help for like a month and you just start given probably like an

apartment and a Social Security card and you're kind of like told to figure it out.

And that's not probably the best way to do it. But I wonder if AFR is too hands

on. It's just like too much handholding. And then that also causes problems. So I

think that's kind of like an ongoing struggle. Like, how do you kind of manage

that?

In the excerpt above Zoey shared her perspective on AFR biggest challenges regarding the liaisons’ relationship with refugees and its impact on refugees’ road to more autonomy. Zoey also related liaisons-refugees relationship to that of parent-child and from her observation she noticed that perhaps sometimes liaisons’ “paternal”

(/parental) feeling toward refugees impacts making the right decisions that will benefit refugees more in the long run. On the other hand, she discussed how CRR’s approach compared to AFR can be challenging for refugees considering the fact that CRR only directly support refugees during that one-month orientation program. 206

If we want to discuss both of these challenge while considering the parent-child relationship we notice that similar to parent-child relationship, perhaps when parents have not prepared themselves (to some extent) before bringing or adopting a child into their lives, the process of nurturing, educating, and preparing their children for their future, specially self-sufficiency can become more challenging (Suizzo, 2007; Taylor, 2010). In individualistic societies such as the U.S., there is a preference for and emphasis on individual autonomy and self-sufficiency (Greenfield, 1994; Hofstede, 1980; Park &

College, 2016; Suizzo, 2007). On the other hand, if parents (i.e., liaisons) have been the helicopter parent (i.e., very hands on), who is excessively overprotective of their children and want to control their life, or have made their children reliant on them, the process of children coming to terms with the fact that they (children) need to/should be independent sooner can be very hard for both the parent and the child (or in this case, the refugees)

(Bristow, 2014; Gibbs, 2009). Additionally, the scholars in the realm of the dialectic theory also argue that “healthy and functional family” are the ones are able to balance members’ autonomy and familial interconnectedness, and if/when that does not happen the members of the family become overdependent at the expense of their autonomy

(Anderson & Sabatelli, 1990; Bexter & Montgomery, 1996, p. 2). However, as it was discussed, in terms of these three female refugees, due to the very nature of relationship between liaisons and refugees and emphasize on refugees’ positive portrayal in the community, refugees’ journey to independence has not been an unique process.

While previous research also suggests that adult refugees aspire to gain more independence in the everyday routines and tasks and in general (Bonseman, 2012; 207

McDermott, 2005), I would argue that despite and considering the challenges that AFR has faced, there are two main reasons behind liaisons’ push for refugees’ faster progress towards independence. One reason is that ultimately, as seen in Reese’s description above, AFR and its liaisons want refugees to be self-sufficient like any other adult, similar to parent-child relationship where parents want their children to be independent and responsible adults (Park & College, 2016; Suizzo, 2007). However, I would argue that the other reason behind AFR’s concern and emphasis toward refugees’ independence stem from the broad misperception and misrepresentation about refugee population and their perceived desire to rely on federal and donor aids (Haines & Rosenblum, 2010;

Ludwig, 2013; Schweitzer et al., 2005). The fervent road to independence is even more strongly encouraged under the current administration social and political climate where refugees are represented and discussed “as burdens” to the states. As such, local NGOs feel the pressure or obligation to help refugees become economically and socially independent faster and be presented as hard-working new citizens who are also contributing to the society (Nawyn, 2011, p. 680). Ava, one of the volunteers, talked about this same concept and how they advocate for refugees and help them become independent:

Well, I think in in changing minds or in advocacy, I think it has to be that we get

the people that are here to be successful. Right? To have them get their jobs, get

off government assistance if they can. But to show that this is what they are

adding to [the society/community], that, you know, so it's more like almost a

media strategy. On top of, once we get those successes, people get jobs, to get it 208

out there [to the community]. People know that because, I think there's so much

misinformation! (emphasizes) so much misinformation! about what people

[refugees], I was, I mean, I'm educating myself slowly. I don't know nearly as

much as I should on this, but I remember when I first started four years ago in the

[neighboring town] that I had no idea that refugees had to pay for their plane

tickets, [had] to pay back their plane tickets…I think that people that harden our

hearts against all this just see it all as a drain on money, money, money that could

go elsewhere. You know, and I think if they could meet people and they could

hear the stories and understand. People are misinformed. So, to me, it's a matter of

helping the people (refugees) that are here, supporting them, so they can live their

best lives and somehow getting that out there to people [in the community].

The excerpt above shows that helping refugees with employment and becoming independent is one of the most important tasks or goals for liaisons. From their perspective, they do want to make sure that they, or in fact the refugees who they help, are not perpetuating the misperception that refugees are a “drain” on the government or taxpayer’s money. So, by helping refugees becoming more “self-sustaining, financially- sustaining, intellectually-sustaining,” (Abby, one of the AFR liaison) AFR liaisons want to be able to show their community, who might be misinformed, that refugees are in fact contributing to the society (Abby, AFR liaison). And this aspect has become a very important issue/concept for AFR, perhaps due to the nature of this NGO and its advocacy compared to neighboring NGOs, such as CRR.

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In contrast to CRR, the neighboring town’s Catholic charity, which is under more strict and structured federal obligation and guidelines, AFR is established and comprised of local members of the community, who are mostly women. And again in contrast to

CRR who has a one-month training/orientation program for all refugees upon their arrival and then encourages refugees to be mostly self-sufficient after that, AFR liaisons have been involved in the everyday lives of refugees for the past three years training and helping them throughout the resettlement process. The notion that AFR and its liaisons are concerned about refugees’ level of progress and autonomy is also similar to parent- child relationship where parents want to make sure that other people around them do not think of their children as burden on their family and society, or they as parents, have not failed to help raise and nurture a human being who can contribute to world. However, I should note that while there are similarities between parent-child and liaison-refugee relationship, the misconception, judgement, and mistreatment which refugees receive because of this issue is in fact far more challenging and traumatic. Because when it comes to children, while there might be some preconceptions and stereotypes regarding children, they are not always negative, and concerns are often explained away as things kids can grow out of. However, refugees are not always granted the same grace and understanding, and they are perceived through negative stereotypes which are usually very hard to break.

Also, from refugees’ perspective, AFR liaisons have become involved and invested in their lives and have gone above and beyond for their families from the moment they were picked up from the airport. While these women migrated to and lived 210

in different countries, this was the first time they and their families became “refugees”.

They had to go through the lived experiences of refugee status, with its social standings, limitations, and possibilities especially in a western country with very different culture from their own.

Therefore, in some ways the refugees assumed that perhaps this is the only way

NGOs advocate and help refugees in the United States, helping them financially and socially on a daily basis for a long time. Over time, and in part because of refugees’ own assumptions and expectations, liaisons’ miscommunication with refugees, and/or conversation refugees have with other refugee friends (under the advocacy of NGOs in cities and states with bigger resources), the refugees at AFR started to develop assumptions of what kind of help and assistance they can further receive. In fact, this can be the third and last dimension of refugees’ perspective on role expectation which was discussed in RQ1 discussion section and this time in regard to their assumption and perception of what AFR and its liaisons could do for them. Refugees’ assumptions and expectation of the roles their liaisons play and the extent to which AFR can provide for them have in some ways made refugees’ transition within the new culture more challenging. Liaisons’ description of their experience has also showed how refugees’ assumptions and expectations can further have impact on them and their work and make that transitional process for refugees a little more difficult.

While for the most part all liaisons share is about the bond they have been able to create with refugees and the positive ways they have impacted their lives, they expressed that sometimes they have felt discouraged by refugees’ slow improvement in the process 211

of becoming more independent. So, from liaisons’ description, AFR’s level of involvement has directly impacted/resulted in refugees’ reliance on liaisons. And refugees’ significant dependency on their liaisons has led to certain assumptions and expectations, creating a domino effect, directly affecting liaisons’ work, feelings of hope or discouragement.

In addition to some of the structural NGO challenges I’ve discussed above, I would argue that perhaps the reason why refugees have not quickly advanced in the independence journey comes from two additional reasons: refugee home culture societal norms and past trauma. According to previous research (Rotzoll et al., 1996; Smith,

2009; Zulfacar, 1998), Afghan refugees come from a country that authoritarian government decide the societal structures which will then impact the tribal and family relationships and dynamics. In other words, in such societies people are used to receiving directions from the top and following the head of tribe, community, and family’s directions and suggestions (Smith, 2009). United States, on the other hand, has a “self- regulating system” fostering more individual agency, meaning that if a “person needs information for or help with a problem, various choices exist within this individualistic model” (Smith, 2009, p. 182). Therefore, when Afghan refugees, coming from authoritarian system, arrive and start to resettle in the U.S., which has a very different social and economic structure, they might have a challenging time understanding the new system and take longer time adapting to the everyday routines and tasks. Additionally, considering the fact that refugees’ understanding of autonomy and connection to their community is a socially-constructed concept, clashes with the American construction of 212

the concept can impact on refugees’ journey to independence in the new culture, which further impact the dialectical tensions with AFR liaisons.

In addition to different cultural and societal systems that they were brought up in and are used to, refugees’ circumstances are unique in other ways too. One of the most significant ones is the impact of stress and trauma that refugees have lived through throughout their pre-flight and resettlement phases. As Nashwan et al. (2017) also describe, according to Conservation of Resources (COR) theory, refugees endure significant stress as they experience “threats to and/or losses of personal and social resources” (p. 2). More specifically, when refugees are not able to get, maintain, and develop their resources, such as food, housing, stability, security, and social ties, and/or they are in danger of losing them all, they experience a significant amount of stress

(Chaitain et al., 2012; Hobfall, 2001; Nashwan et al., 2017). The challenges and hardship which many refugees face in their home country, such as war, (gender-based) violence, prosecution, famine, and presence of terrorist groups are all powerful sources of stress and trauma, which do not decrease when they flee to another country but in fact intensify

(Nashwan et al., 2017; Wilson, Murtaza, & Shakya, 2010). Refugees in the host country, in addition to the trauma and PSTD caused by their experiences before flight, face racism, religious discrimination (especially if they are Muslim women wearing Hijab), language barriers, and many other new challenges which cause further stress for them

(Hutchinson & Dorsett, 2012). Each of these women in this study have also endured many challenging experiences before fleeing their country, from domestic abuse, poverty,

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living in conflict-zone countries, losing family members to terrorist groups, and so many more.

Therefore, the combination of these aforementioned factors are the key contributors that affect these female refugees’ challenging road to more independence.

These women in particular were born and raised in communities with social and economic contexts where for most of their lives they had to receive information, guidelines, and direction from the head of the house, tribe, and/or community. They are mostly only familiar with getting the information in top-down hierarchical structure and are not used to seeking the information as people in the American culture and system are used to. Additionally, the stress and trauma caused by the hardships and experiences they have faced throughout their pre-flight, flight, and resettlement journey can be very challenging. Notably, each of these women, in their own way, have experienced what it feels like to or what happens when they lose their resources and support system. They have lost fathers and husbands as the main breadwinners; they have lost jobs and financial security due to illness; they have migrated back and forth to different regional countries, and they could not rely on their family members for social support.

And that is where the work of local NGOs such as AFR became very valuable and refugees’ reliance on them became so significant. Because from the moment refugees arrived at the local airport, AFR liaisons worked with them as the guiders, teachers, cultural and financial advisers, agents, lobbyists, and even their family members helping them resettle in their new home. These female refugees have come from the cultural background where they are used to receiving information from the top down, and AFR 214

has acted as a very hands-on authoritative manner giving refugees information and helping them throughout every different step, refugees now find themselves struggling to become more independent as the systems built around them are holding them hostage.

Additionally, the stress of losing more support systems (i.e. their liaisons and AFR as cultural and financial assistants) similar to what they experienced in their own country, is the other leading cause of hesitation or fear of fully and quickly becoming independent.

Refugees’ stories and concerns in some ways show that from their perspective they do not feel fully ready or efficiently equipped with the skills, language, and cultural understanding to seek information on their own and complete everyday routines and tasks with complete agency. Therefore, these two concepts, refugee cultural background and personal trauma, and their consideration are important for refugee-advocacy NGOs and the work they do for refugees. Otherwise, there will be significant impact on how refugees are being unserstood and represented.

The Importance of True Representation: Stigma and Labeling

It is very crucial for NGOs to examine refugees’ progress while considering the impact of their cultural background, their level of stress and trauma, and more importantly the resources, skills, and information that they have been provided through those NGOs. And it is important to pay careful attention to how refugees’ reliance on

NGOs and their progress toward independence is being presented. Because if/when they are negligent to take those elements into account refugees will face further challenges and stigmatizations.

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As refugee advocates and researchers I believe it is our duty to avoid further perpetuating the misconceptions and stigma surrounding refugees, their experiences, and labels associated to them (Goffman, 1963; Zetter, 1991). Unfortunately, as it was discussed previously, in many instances there are misconceptions and misinformation regarding refugees being a burden on the host society (Nawyn, 2011), its economy, and the NGOs. Or there is confusion in regard to why refugees are not able to assimilate to the new cultural norms, tasks, and routines in the host society (Dykstra-DeVetter &

Canary, 2018; Vasta, 2007). Those misconceptions and judgments can further stigmatize refugees and perpetuate negative assumptions toward this population and make their resettlement into the new culture even more challenging than it already is (Chimni, 2000;

Vigil & Baillie Abidi, 2018). Because stigmas and labels are connected to/stem from misconceptions and stereotypes, and when they are relied on and perpetuated, the inaccurate judgmental ideologies behind them can significantly impact society’s perspective, attitude, acceptance, and treatment toward the individuals/groups which those stigmas are about (Scheff, 1984; Vigil & Baillie Abidi, 2018). Those misconceptions and stigmas can be considerably damaging to the marginalized and mis- or under-represented populations such as refugees. Link et al. (1989) who introduced and described the “modified labeling theory”, argued that the main problem with labels and stigmas is the possible impact and consequence that they have on individuals and groups as they dehumanize, devalue, and discriminate against the stigmatized individuals. In case of refugees particularly, the labels and stigmas surrounding them (such as being considered a burden), and the negative assumptions, stereotypes, and mistreatment 216

because of those labels and stigmas, hinder people’s perception of refugees and who they really are. The stigma surrounding refugees can get further perpetuated especially during the early transitional phases of refugees resettling in the new culture, because refugees who come from different cultural background with its own daily routines and norms might need more time to adjust to the new culture (Chimni, 2000; Vigil & Baillie Abidi,

2018). And unfortunately, this slow process of adjusting to the new cultural daily tasks and routines can lead to them to be labeled as burden to the society, NGOs, government, etc. Therefore, this is why I argue that it is very crucial to for NGOs to have clear training and understanding of where refugees come from, particularly from what kind of cultural and societal background, what they are/are not accustomed to, what they consider culturally (in/)appropriate, what is their perception of their roles and responsibilities, what hardships and trauma they have endured, and who each of them individually is. By understanding the refugees’ cultural perspective, they will be able to more accurately understand the struggles to acclimate the refugees may experience—and that understanding can help dispel many of the preconceived stereotypes about refugees in general that the liaisons or the greater public might hold.

Additionally, while it is important for NGOs to acknowledge the cultural background and the stress/trauma of these female refugees, it is equally important to make sure that female refugees are not (re)victimized and represented as if they are in desperate need of liaisons and advocates as “liberators” (Erden, 2017, p. 250;

Hajdukowski-Ahmed, et al., 2009). Rather, they should be celebrated, respected, and empowered as strong decision-makers who are able to bring change, become self- 217

sufficient, and advance in their lives when they are given resources and opportunities through the local NGO and liaisons (Erden, 2017; Hajdukowski-Ahmed, et al., 2009).

Previous studies, such as Smith (2008, 2009) who also focused on the female Afghan refugees resettling in the U.S., specifically San Francisco, discussed, and recommended step-by-step detailed guideline for NGOs on how to successfully resettle refugees in the new culture (e.g., from lobbying on behalf of refugees for policy change, creating refugee information and referral and resource directory, assigning trained point persons/advocates/liaisons, to building employment training session). However, in addition to those guidelines provided by Smith (2008, 2009), based on the finding of this study, there are two important steps and measures that should not be missed, which I will discuss in the following contribution and recommendation section.

Practical Recommendations

This dissertation research provides a number of contributions to the literature surrounding refugees’ everyday ordinary experiences throughout the early transitional period and the role and work of local NGOs throughout the process. Through those contributions, this research recommends refugee-advocacy NGOs to provide more cultural and historical awareness to ensure a smoother transition for refugees throughout the resettlement process. One of the contributions of this research study is that it provides better understanding of the female refugees’ challenging road to becoming independent, particularly about single mother refugees or female refugees who are less/no longer able to fully rely on their husbands. Focus on the stories of these three Afghan women showed that patriarchal societies and cultures of female refugees can have significant impact on 218

how female refugees, particularly with similar circumstance and status of women in this study, consider, evaluate, and perceive the lack of/presence of a man in their family and more importantly its effect on their everyday life. It shows how female Afghan refugees, despite and considering the patriarchal notions of their culture, the hardship and trauma which they have faced throughout their pre-flight and resettlement journey, and their illiteracy and language barriers, go well beyond assuming and adapting to different gender roles and in fact preserve, advance, and (re)situate themselves and their families in their new home. As previously discussed, as a society and more specifically as a communication studies discipline, we know that there are so many misconceptions, judgment, and stigma surrounding refugees. Still, when we allow these women to share and narrate their own life stories, we see their strength: their resilience and bravery come out not on a grand scale but rather in the difficulty of every daily battle and the fact that they keep going no matter how difficult the process.

This research further expands on the local refugee-advocacy NGOs and their important role in the resettlement journey of refugees. More specifically, the findings of this study show that there are rewards and challenges when NGOs and their liaisons have such hands-on and involved relationship with Afghan female refugees. There are rewards because through developing that close (parent-child relationship) liaisons can gain refugees’ trust and help them experience support during the resettlement process. There are challenges because the very involved (parental) relationship or refugees’ reliance on liaisons can make the process of gaining independence more difficult for refugees.

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Therefore, based on these findings I would recommend that in order for local

NGOs to be able to help refugees resettle more smoothly in the host culture, it is important to accomplish certain steps prior to and throughout refugees’ resettlement in the community. First, NGOs and liaisons (collectively and personally) should have extensive research, education, and training on the cultural and social system and background of refugees’ country of origin. Doing the research, going through training, familiarizing the liaisons with cultural background, routines, behaviors, and traditions of refugees’ country will allow liaisons have a better understanding of refugees’ underlying ideas, behaviors, perspectives, and performance of everyday routines. For instance, liaisons might learn that when refugees come from countries such as Afghanistan where they are used to (or in fact the only way they know up to that point is) receiving information, direction, and guideline on how to navigate their life in a top-down hierarchical system, they are not used to seeking information on their own. Second, it is crucial for local NGOs and liaisons to find out and consider the ordinary cultural idea and behavior of each refugee, as it impacts how slowly or quickly they are able to adapt to the completely new cultural routines, tasks, and behaviors, which in turn affects their process of gaining full self-sufficiency. These expectations should be communicated clearly to the refugees, in a culturally sensitive manner, to explain how the refugees’ new roles in

American society will be different than what they had previously experienced and help with role transition.

Finally, local NGOs should also consider the COR theory and the impact of previous and ongoing hardship and trauma on each refugee’s level of stress and fear of 220

losing more (financial and social support) resources, which all directly affect their willingness and/or hesitation to becoming less reliant on NGOs/liaisons. As it was discussed in chapter 6, AFR does not rely on their only social media platform, Facebook, extensively and all liaisons mostly use instant messaging apps such as Telegram and

WhatsApp. However, I would argue that moderate use of social media platform and utilizing its features can help local NGOs such as AFR reach more people in their community, attract donors, volunteers, translators, and experts (e.g., financial experts, business owners, employers, counselors, etc.) who can provide help and support for refugees in different areas. Therefore, it is important for NGOs to examine and consider all these important nuances which can significantly have impact on refugees’ process and experiences throughout the early transitional period of resettlement.

Limitations and Future Research

This research also has limitations that should be discussed. One of the limitations is that while each of the three female refugees and their stories was considered and examined while taking an ethnographic qualitive research approach. Due to the size of the sample, they and their stories are not and should not be considered the representative of all Afghan female refugees, and especially not all female refugees broadly.

Additionally, establishing trust was a key component within my relationship with refugees. Because they knew that I had been involved in AFR as a volunteer for some time before interviewing them, that could have impacted the extent to which they were willing to open up and share their stories, including any major criticisms. And despite my conversation with them before the interview and reassuring them about my independence 221

from AFR, they might still have had (undisclosed) fear or hesitation regarding the extent to which they could open up. Future research should interview more Afghan female refugees, particularly single-moms or women who can no longer rely on their husband as breadwinner of the family due to illness to determine if these women are unique in their experiences.

Additionally, through the stories of these three Afghan mothers, I noticed how refugee parents rely on their children, who learn the English language and adapt to the new culture a lot faster than their parents, to help them with communicating, learning, translating, and figuring out many new and complicated cultural tasks and routines.

Future research should definitely focus specifically on the intense new roles and responsibilities that refugee children have no choice but to assume to help their parents and family throughout the resettlement process and the impact of those new roles and responsibilities on them and their life.

Conclusion

The ideas, stories, and analysis of this project once again show the importance of refugees’ voices and role of local NGOs. The goal of this dissertation was twofold: first, to provide refugees with the chance and platform to share their pre-flight and post-flight life stories, experiences, and concerns from their perspective; and second, to help the local refugee-advocacy NGOs working with them a perspective and feedback of how to better and optimize their advocacy work and help refugees have a smoother and less challenging transition to the new culture and complete independence. The findings of this research helped to present female Afghan refugees voices, particularly illiterate single 222

mother and female refugees who will not be able to always rely on the males in the household, and their challenges of having to adapt to new gender roles while navigating the new cultural daily norms and routines. Additionally, the focus on the local community-based refugee-advocacy NGOs showed their critical role not only in listening to marginalized populations’ voices but also finding effective ways to help and represent their interest authentically and fully. During the current time that I am writing this section

(Summer 2020) United States (and the world) is going through one of its most pivotal moments of social and political history with aftermath of killing of George Floyd,

#BlackLivesMatter protests, and racial and equality movements all occurring amidst a global COVID-19 pandemic. I would argue that now more than ever as a nation we are reflecting on and understanding the importance of not only listening to the marginalized, stigmatized, minority, mis- and under-represented populations but also doing everything we can individually and collectively to bring change that will benefit current and future generations. And that is why representing the voice of a marginalized population such as refugees, particularly female refugees, and the work of local NGOs in advocating and guiding refugees as well as debunking and changing misconceptions and judgment toward this group become even more necessary than ever.

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Appendix A: Refugee Protocol

Thank you so much for taking the time to sit down and talk to me. I sincerely appreciate your willingness to share your story and I look forward to learning a lot from you.

I have to note that I will ask you (the participant) to not disclose the name of another person and only share your own stories, for the sake of confidentiality.

Note: I will probably not ask all of these sub questions, but that these are potential questions which can come up during the interview. I have noted them here so that I can follow up if needed.

General/Introductory Questions

1. I thought we could begin with you sharing a little about you. Can you please tell me the story of how you came to live here in the United States? a. What is/was your country of origin? b. How many people accompanied you? i. Any family members or friends? c. What was that journey like for you? d. How did you feel when you realized you had to leave your country of origin? e. Why did you have to/want to leave your country of origin? 2. Did you stay in a refugee camp? If yes, … a. Where was the camp that you stayed in? In which country? b. What was that experience like? c. How long were you there? d. What did you expect the camp to be like? i. Did it meet your expectations? e. What were the biggest challenges about living in the camp? f. What, if anything, was meaningful or good about living in the camp? g. What was a memorable experience you had in the camp? h. What was your interaction or experience with the groups/members who ran the refugee camps like? 3. Did you get to choose where/which country you wanted to go to/live in? a) If yes, why did you choose to come to the United States of America?

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General Communication Questions

4. Who did you talk to in order to make sense of your experience and journey? a. What kind of information did you get from them? b. Looking back, has that information been useful or not? 5. Tell me about your interaction with other refugees. a. Think about your conversations with other refugees. Could you share one example of a conversation you’ve had with another refugee that has been particularly memorable? b. What kind of stories do other refugees share with one another? c. Are there stories or topics that refugees usually avoid discussing? If so, could you give me an example? d. What are some interesting and uplifting stories that you share among yourselves?

Relations with NGO

1. When was the first time you became aware of this NGO? 2. How were the first interaction? 3. How would you describe your relationship with the NGO or liaisons? 4. What has been the most helpful and meaningful things that you think they have done for you/your family? 5. How do they provide support to you and your family? 6. What are the strengths and challenges of working with liaisons? 7. What are the ways you communicate with the NGO/your liaisons? 8. Do you refer to/use social media to communicate with them? a. If yes, how and in what ways? b. If not, why not, what hinders that?

Concluding Questions

1. How do you feel about your life here in the U.S.? 2. What does it mean to be a refugee? a. Do you think you are a refugee? b. Why or why not? 3. Do you want to ever go back to your country of origin? Why/Why not? 4. I sat down and developed this list of questions, but I’m not you. I’m not in your shoes. I haven’t walked your journey. So, what is it that I’m missing? What haven’t I asked you about that’s important for me to know? [LONG PAUSE].

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Appendix B: AFR Staff and/or Volunteers Protocol

General/Introductory Questions

1. Tell me about how you came to be a part of this organization? 2. What is your primary role in the organization?

Interactions with Refugees

3. Do you spend much time interacting directly with refugees? If yes: please tell me a little bit about that. 4. Tell me about your most memorable interaction with a refugee?

Refugee Advocacy

5. Do you consider yourself “an advocate” for refugees? a. How so? Or Why not? 6. What does it look like to advocate for refugees? 7. When you think about advocating for refugees… a. What have been the most successful strategies you have used? b. Why do you think those strategies have been successful? c. What have been the least successful strategies you have used? d. Why do you think those strategies have not been successful?

Question for Staff/Volunteers who produce online content

8. When you think about crafting content to put up online, what kinds of things do you consider? Walk me through your process. 9. What are the strategies behind your online messages/posts? 10. Who is the audience (or audiences) that you have in mind while crafting those messages? 11. Let’s pull up [name of org’s] social media. Can you pick out a post that you crafted and tell me a little bit about what that process looked like for you? a. Looking at this online status/message/post of yours, could you tell me what were your intention or hoping to achieve through this post? 12. How, if at all, do policies such as travel bans have impact on your role in the organization? a. In your online posts? 267

b. If yes, how? c. How did you handle the challenges that came with that? 13. When you think about refugee advocacy offline and online, in what ways are these kinds of advocacy similar to one another? In what ways are the different from one another? Can you please give me some examples?

Concluding Questions

14. What are the greatest challenges you face in being a part of [insert name of organization]? 15. What are you most proud of with respect to your role/efforts here? 16. What are the best ways that you think your NGO is helping refugees? 17. What are some of the areas that you think you want to improve in the future? a. What would it take to get you there?

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