"An Agreeable Consort for Life": The Wedding of George and Martha

"The , " engraving by Edward Savage, after his own painting, published in and , f 798.

th On the morning ofJanuary 6 , 1759, a take on a ready-made family and life as a young widow named Martha Dandridge Custis planter. This wedding came at the took as her second husband a young man end of a rather tumultuous eighteen months named , not quite one year for the bride, during which she had faced younger than herself, who had just a few tremendous loss and had to make a decision weeks before given up his military career, to about the courSe of the rest of her life. Choosing well could bring happiness to both Very little is known about the bride's her two very young chi ldren and herself; early years. As the eldest child in a large making the wrong choice might jeopardize her family, she probably assisted in raising her children's inheritance, their emotional health, younger siblings. She probably received a and her own chance to find fulfillment and typical education for a Virginia girl of the period, which would have stressed instruction The bride was born on June 2, 1731, at in housekeeping, religion, music (according to Chestnut Grove Plantation in New Kent one biographer, she played the spinet), and County, Virginia. The eldest of eight dancing. Her teachers would have been the children, she was named Martha after one of adult women in her household and whatever

l her cousins . Her father, itinerant tutors might have been hired by her (1700-1756). was the son of a merchant in fathers. A small woman, Martha eventually and immigrated to America in 1714, grew to about 5 feet tall, with brown hair and with his older brother, Colonel William eyes, which in portraits, appear to be brown or 6 Dandridge (died 1743t Martha's uncle hazel • In her late teens, she caught the eye of William had a distinguished naval career and (1711-1757), who, though took part in Admiral Edward Vernon's siege twenty years her senior, was still one of the of Carthagena in the early 1740s, a campaign most eligible bachelors in the colony of in which her new husband's older half-brother Virginia. Daniel's father was initially Lawrence was also involved. After he came opposed to his son's marriage to Martha, to America, Martha's father, John, served as because the prospective bride's family was not the clerk of New Kent County, as a colonel in as wealthy as he would have liked. After the the county militia, and also as a vestryman and intervention of some friends and actually 3 warden of his parish church . Martha meeting the young woman who had captured Washington's mother was his son's heart, Cu§tis finally gave his consent. (1710-1785), who was the daughter of a Word of this change of mind came to Daniel member of the Virginia House of Burgesses in a letter from a friend: and a young woman of possible Huguenot background. Martha's great-grandfather, the "This comes at last to bring you the Reverend Rowland Jones (1640-1688), was a news that I believe will be most agreeable to you of any you have graduate of Oxford University and the first heard - that you may not be long in pastor of the Bruton Parish Church in suspense I shall tell you at once - I am 4 Williamsburg, Virginia • empowered by your father to let you know that he heartily and willingly Sabine Hall 10. Educated in England, he had consents to your marriage with Miss surveyed the Virginia wilderness and [Martha] Dandridge - that he has so as a young man and later good a character of her, that he had rather you should have her than any served as a commissioner for Lord Fairfax. lady in Virginia - nay, if possible, he He was also a trustee for the town of is as much enamored with her Falmouth, ajustice for King George County, character as you are with her person, as well as being the County Lieutenant, and and this is owing chiefly to a prudent speech of her own. Hurry down served as a member ofthe House of Burgesses immediately for fear he should change from 1736 until his death. In the spring of the strong inclination he has to your 1758, when he began his campaign to win the marrying directly?" widow Custis, Carter was a widower, having , lost his second wife in 1757, and was looking Martha and Daniel were married in June of 8 for a third to take over as mother to his large 1749 . In the eight years oftheir marriage, the family of over ten children 11. couple had four children, two of whom died as toddlers. Daniel's sudden death in July of 1757, possibly from a heart attack, left her, at the age of 26, the wealthiest widow in Virginia, with a 17,500 acre estate to manage and two very young children, a three-year-old

9 son and one year old daughter, to raise alone .

Widows in 18th century Virginia were a sought-after commodity and one this rich, who was personable and pretty to boot, could not be expected to last long before being courted for a second time. In the spring of 1758, some eight to nine months after Daniel's death, John Tayloe wrote a gossipy letter to William Byrd, III, in which he made the comment that "C.C. is very gay & says he has attacked the widow Custis." At least one Engraving of the young" Widow Custis, "from a historian has identified "c.c." as Charles painting by John WollasTon, 1757. Carter of Cleve (1707-1764), who was one of Washington and Lee University collection. five sons of Robert ("King") Carter of Corotoman and a brother of Landon Carter of While Carter may have thought his both in America and Europe, while Martha, success with Martha Dandridge Custis was a as the wife of one of the wealthiest men in sure thing, he did have competition. the colony, would have been highly visible,

According to the story told by her grandson, as well 13 • If nothing else, they had to have it would have been about the time Carter known one another by reputation, through was courting Martha that she and her mutual friends. Martha's first husband's children paid a visit to some friends, the lawyer, Robert Carter Nicholas, for example, Chamberlaynes. While they were there, a was married to Anne Cary, whose sisters, young army officer and his body servant Sally and Elizabeth, had married two of stopped at the Chamberlaynes' for a few George Washington's best friends, the minutes on the way to Williamsburg to see brothers George William and Bryan Fairfax, the governor on business. Leaving his of Belvoir and Towlston Grange, servant, Thomas Bishop, with their horses, respectively. Nicholas also did legal work

14 George Washington was convinced to stay for George Washington • A letter written to dinner. Upon coming into the house, he by one of his fellow officers shortly after met the young widow Custis and the two Washington married Mrs. Custis even young people were quite taken with one suggests that he might have been attracted to another. Washington sent word out to her from afar for a very long time, but that Bishop that they would be spending the she, being married to Daniel Parke Custis, night at the Chamberlaynes'. It was said to had been unavailable: have been late in the morning on the next day before Washington could bring himself "...1had the extreme pleasure of to leave the company of the young widow receiving your very agreeable favour l2 by Mr [sic] Boyd and beg leave to and her children • present my hearty Congratulations on your happy union with the Lady that Although the family believed the all agree has long been the just object couple had never met before, it is almost of your affections .... 15" certain that they had at least heard of one another and possibly had met earlier. While There is probably no way to know, George Washington was often with his short of finding a letter in which she troops on the frontier in the , he also enumerated her thought processes in this came to Williamsburg frequently on matter, why Martha made the choice she business, when he would have moved in the eventually did. The two men had much in same social circles as the wealthy Custises. common: both had experiences on the He was well-known for his military exploits, frontier, were connected in some way with the powerful Fairfax family, and were example, the summer after he began interested in agriculture. Both had courting her)'R. He was also dashing, heroic, plantations along Virginia's important and a natural-born athlete. rivers. From a strictly practical , Charles Carter may have had some things weighing in his favor: he was well- established, was old enough to have gotten whatever "wild oats" there might have been out of his system, and his family was from the upper tier of the Virginia aristocracy. On the debit side may have been his age (he was 24 years older than Martha Dandridge Custis and she had already been married to, and buried, a husband 20 years her senior) and the large number of children he already had. George Washington came from a lower rung Francis Jukes. " in Virginia, George of the Virginia class structure - the Washington's home at Mount Vernon." /800. . Washingtons were actually closer to the

Dandridges in status 16. His health at this point was tenuous - a recent severe illness Exactly when the widow Custis and had necessitated a three month leave of George Washington made the decision to absence from his command - and his career marry is not known, but the wedding took in the military had kept him on the frontier place at the bride's home, called the White th and largely prevented him from building up House, on January 6 , 1759, about nine to ten and improving his plantation, Mount months after their meeting at the

Vernon, which was located a considerable Chamberlaynes' 19. According to her distance from the area in which Martha had descendants, the bride wore a "petticoat of

l always lived ? He was, however, closer to white silk interwoven with silver. The her age, brought no emotional baggage in overdress, open in front, a deep yellow the form of a dead wife for whom he might brocade with rich lace in the neck and sleeves. be grieving and/or other children to divert Ornaments of pearls. Her shoes were purple attention from her own small son and satin with silver trimmings."2o As is so often daughter, and had potential as far as his the case, no one seemed to recall what the prospects were concerned (he was elected to groom was wearing. The only evidence for the Virginia House of Burgesses, for his appearance that day comes from an elderly family slave, who told Martha's grandson long Washington shared with her a love of horses years later that "Many of the grandest and dogs.23 Both enjoyed life in the country gentlemen, in their gold lace, were at the and gardening.24 They shared a strong work wedding, but none looked like the man ethic, both rising early each day to get a quick himself!"2! start on things that needed to be done.25 According to one of Mrs. Washington's granddaughters, they also shared a similar religious faith.26 Both were the oldest children in their families, a circumstance which probably gave them each a serious approach to life, and perhaps a certain rigidity.27 Both liked to keep up with current affairs through reading newspapers - George Washington at one point subscribed to as many as ten.28

According to family tradition, Martha wore these brightly-colored slippers imported ji-om England. Covered in an aubergine silk, the slippers are trimmed in metallic lace composed of sequins and metal threads. They are lined with a combination of kid leather, linen, and woven silk. Collection of the Mount Vernon Ladies' Association.

Eight months after his marriage to Martha Dandridge Custis, George Washington wrote from Mount Vernon to his agent in England to announce that "1 am now 1beleive [sic] fixd at this Seat with an agreable [sic] Consort for Life and hope to find more happiness In retirement than 1 ever experienced amidst a wide and bustling World.,,22 Like many couples, the Charles Wilson Peale painted watercolor on ivOly miniatures of both George and Washingtons would learn that there were a in Philadelphia one year into the Revolution (/776) mixture of similarities and differences, which and just a few weeks after the Declaration of Independence was signed. strengthened and enriched their relationship, A grandson recalled that George Washington wore a and also kept it from getting boring. More miniature of Martha around his neck "through all the vicissitudes of his eventful career. " than a foot taller than his petite wife, George Collection of the Moun! Vernon Ladies' Association. There were differences, however. Mary Thompson serves as Research Specialist Where George Washington as a young man at Mount Vernon where she has been had plans for a career in the British navy, it employed in various capacities for more than was reported by one friend that his wife did 20 years. Her areas of concentration include "not Love the water" and given a choice, all aspects of domestic life, slavery and the preferred to travel by land.29 There is even slave community, religious practice. and some suggestion that she, married to a man foodways. who traversed much of the country between the Atlantic Ocean and the Ohio River Valley and from what is now Maine to Georgia, really didn't like to travel at all.30 He was relatively abstemious at the table, but she had

31 I Polly Longworth, "Portrait of Martha, Belle of New Kent," a hearty appetite. While he was habitually (Summer 1988,4-11),4. quiet and tended to be a bit reserved with strangers, she was warm and talkative, the kind of person almost everyone came to 4 Much of the information about Martha Washington's family 32 love. They would be happily married for came from the following sources: Wilson Miles Cary, "The forty years. In the matter of her second Dandridges of Virginia," William and Mary College Quarterly Historical Magazine (July 1896), 30-39; Wilson Miles Cary, husband, Martha Dandridge Custis had chosen "Descendants of Rev. Rowland lones, First Rector of Bruton Parish, Va.," William and Mary College Quarterly Magazine wisely - as had he. (January 1897, 192-197), 192-193; Douglas Southall Freeman, George Washington: A Biography, Volume 11(New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1948),276-302; Lyon G. Tyler, "Bruton Church," William and Mary College Quarterly Historical Magazine (January 1895, 169-182), 171; Lothrop Withington and H.F. Waters, "Virginia Gleanings in England," The Virginia Magazine 0/ History and Biography (April 1903), 412.

5 Ellen McCallister Clark, "The Life of Martha Washington," in "Worthy Partner": The Papers a/Martha Washington," compiled by loseph E. Fields (Westport, Connecticut and London: Greenwood Press, 1994, xix-xxvii), xx; for Martha Washington's ability to play the spinet and more on her education, see Longworth, "Portrait of Martha, Belle of New Kent," 6.

6 Longworth, "Portrait of Martha, Bell of New Kent," 6. For Martha Washington's height, see R.W.G. Vail, editor, "A Dinner at Mount Vernon: From the Unpublished lournal of loshua Brookes (1773-1859)," The New- York Historical Society While no images of the Washington wedding exist, Quarterly (April 1947, 72-85), 75. Lemarcier created this engraving c. J 853. "Life of George Washington - The Citizen Wedding 71. Power to Daniel Parke Custis, no date [probably 1749], in of George Washington and Martha Custis" , "Memoir of George Washington Parke Library of Congress. Custis," Recollections and Private Memoirs o/Washington. By His Adopted Son, George Washington Parke Custis, With A 15 Robert Stewart to George Washington, 1/16/1759, The Papers Memoir of the Author By His Daughter; And Illustrative and of George Washington, Colonial Series, Volume 6, edited by Explanatory Notes By Benson 1. Lossing (Philadelphia: J.W. W.W. Abbot (Charlottesville, Va: University Press of Virginia, Bradley, 1861, 9-72), 20n. 1988), 187-188.

16 Mount Vernon director, James C. Rees, believes that after her early experience with the Custis family, in which she had to win

9 Clark, "The Life of Martha Washington," xx; Longworth, over a prospective father-in-law, who initially looked down on "Portrait of Martha, Belle of New Kent," 10. her, Martha may have been reluctant to take on the Carters, another family from the upper ranks of the Virginia aristocracy

10 John Tayloe to William Byrd, III, Williamsburg, 4/4/1758, in (conversation with the author, September 2001). She would, The Correspondence of the Three William Byrds of Westover, thus, have felt more comfortable with George Washington, Virginia. 1684-1776, Volume II, edited by Marion Tinling whose family was more like the one in which she had grown up. (Charlottesville, Virginia: The University Press of Virginia,

1977), 646 & 646n. 11 For more on Washington's illness, see Robert Stewart to Robert Dinwiddie, 11/9/1757; George Washington to Charles

II Fairfax Harrison, editor, "The Will of Charles Carter of Green, 11/13/1757; George Washington to Sarah (Sally) Cary Cleve," The Virginia Magazine of History and Biography Fairfax, 11/15/1757; Robert Rutherford to George Washington, (January 1923, 39-69), 39-44. 11/22/1757; Robert Stewart to George Washington, 11/24/1757; Robert Diwiddie to Robert Stewart, 11/15/1757; Robert Stewart 12 George Washington Parke Custis, Recollections and Private to John Stanwix, 11/24/1757; James Craik to George Memoirs of Washington, By His Adopted Son, George Washington, 11/25/1757; Alexander Boyd to George Washington Parke Custis, With A Memoir of the Author By His Washington, 12/6/1757; George Mason to George Washington, Daughter; And Illustrative and Explanatory Notes By Benson 1. 1/4/1758; John Stanwix to George Washington, 1/13/[ 1758]; Lossing (Philadelphia: J.W. Bradley, 1861,9-72),499-501. George Washington to John Blair, [1/30/1758]; George Washington's financial records show that he visited the widow Washington to John Blair, [1/31/1758]; John Hall to George Custis at the on March 16'" and April 25'" of 1758; Washington, 2/14/1758; George Washington to John Blair, he made another visit to her home on June 6'" of the same year 2/20/1758; Nathaniel Thompson to George Washington, (see The Papers of George Washington, Colonial Series, 2/20/1758; Charles Smith to George Washington, 2/23/1758; Volume 5, edited by W.W. Abbot (Charlottesville, Virginia: George Washington to John Stanwix, 3/4/1758; John Stanwix to University Press of Virginia, 1988), I 02n-1 03n, 221 n). George Washington, 3/10/1758, in The Papers of George Washington, Colonial Series, Volume 5, 46, 51-52, 56, 57, 58,

13 Clark, "The Life of Martha Washington," xx. In regard to 62,63-65,68,77,80-81,82,86,94,95-96,100-102,104. George Washington's international reputation, the journal of his exploits during a 1753-1754 mission to the French in the Ohio 18 For George Washington's election to the House of Burgesses, territory was published in Williamsburg in 1754 and was printed see Charles Smith to George Washington, 7/26/1758, with its in colonial newspapers in Maryland and Massachusetts; and his various enclosures, in The Papers of George Washington, diary and other papers from his 1754 mission to the Ohio Colonial Series, Volume 5,331-344. country was published in both France and England (see The Diaries of George Washington, Volume I, edited by Donald 19 Clark, "The Life of Martha Washington," xx-xxi; Longworth, Jackson and Dorothy Twohig (Charlottesville, Virginia: "Portrait of Martha, Belle of New Kent," 10-11. University Press of Virginia, 1976), 160n-161 n, 166-173. 20 "Yr Entire Go Washington:~ The Mount Vernon Ladies'

14 For the fact that Robert Carter Nicholas was Daniel Parke Association of the Union Annual Report /976 (Mount Vernon, Custis's lawyer, see Robert Carter Nicholas to Martha Virginia: The Mount Vernon Ladies' Association of the Union, Dandridge Custis, 8/7/1757, "Worthy Partner. "3-4; for the 1977, 22-24), 22-23. relationship between Nicholas' wife and the Fairfaxes, see The Diaries of George Washington, Volume 2, edited by Donald 21 Custis, Recollections and Private Memoirs of Washington, Jackson and Dorothy Twohig (Charlottesville, Virginia: 502. University Press of Virginia, 1976), 38n. For the fact that Nicholas was doing legal work for George Washington at this 22 George Washington to Richard Washington, 9/20/1759, The period, see Robert Carter Nicholas to George Washington, Papers of George Washington, Colonial Series, Volume 6,359. 1/5/1758, The Papers of George Washington, Colonial Series,

Volume 5,79. Interestingly, Nicholas was also the nephew of 2J For George Washington's interest in horses, riding, and dogs, Martha Dandridge Custis's other suitor, Charles Carter of Clcve see Custis, Recollections and Private Memoirs of Washington, (see "Carter Papers," The Virginia Magazine of History and 384-389. For Martha Washington's interest in horses and Biography, Volume 5, Number 4 (April, 1898,408-428),413, riding, see Martha Washington to Anna Maria Dandridge 415 & 415n. Bassett, 11/18/1777, in "Worthy Partner": The Papers of Martha Washington, compiled by Joseph E. Fields (Westport, Journal of Joshua Brookes (1773-1859)," 81; for her husband's Connecticut, and London: Greenwood Press, 1994), 174; Lund like interest, see Julian Ursyn Niemcewicz, Under Their Vine Washington to George Washington, 3112/1783 (manuscript, and Fig Tree: Travels through America in 1797-1799. 1805. Mount Vernon Ladies' Association; typescript, Mount Vernon with some further account of life in New Jersey, translated and Ladies' Association); George Washington to the Secretary of edited by Metchie J.E. Budka (Elizabeth, New Jersey: The War, 1/29/1789, in The Writings of George Washington from Grassman Publishing Company, Inc., 1965), 103. the Original Manuscript Sources. 1745-1799,39 volumes, edited by John C. Fitzpatrick (Washington, DC: 29 For George Washington's plans for a naval career, or rather Government Printing Office, 1931-1944),30:183-184; entry for his older half-brother's plans for him, see David Humphreys' 9/14/1787, regarding Mrs. Washington's saddle, Mount Vernon "Life of General Washington." with George Washington's Storehouse Account Book, 1/1/1787-12/31/1787 (manuscript, "Remarks ... edited by Rosemarie Zagarri (Athens, Georgia, and Mount Vernon Ladies' Association; typescript, Mount Vernon London: The University of Georgia Press, 1991), 7-8, 102n. Ladies' Association); and, in the Curatorial Collections, W-560, For Martha Washington's dislike of the water, see Abigail an iron or steel stirrup, said to have been Mrs. Washington's. Adams to her sister, 10/11/1789, in New Letters of Abigail For Martha Washington's interest in dogs, see George Adams, 1788-1801, edited by Stewart Mitchell (Boston: Washington to George , 8/12/1787, in Houghton Mifflin Company, 1947),29-30. The Papers of George Washington, Confederation Series, Volume 5, edited by W.W. Abbot (Charlottesville, Virginia, and 30 For evidence that Mrs. Washington didn't like to travel, see London: University Press of Virginia, 1997),287, 289n; George Washington to Reverend Jonathan Boucher, 5/21/1772, Frederick Kitt to George Washington, 1/15/1798, in The Papers The Writings of George Washington, 3:84, in which of George Washington, Retirement Series, Volume 2, edited by Washington makes the statement, "Whether Mrs. Washington W.W. Abbot (Charlottesville, Virginia, and London: University ever stretches as far as Annapolis or not, we shall certainly take Press of Virginia, 1998),25, 26n. some very early opportunity of making your acquaintance on this occasion." See also William Heth to George Washington,

24 For George Washington's interest in country life and 5/3/1789, in The Papers of George Washington, Presidential farming/gardening, see George Washington to Charles Armand- Series, Volume 2, edited by Dorothy Twohig (Charlottesville, Tuffin, 10/7/1785; George Washington to Alexander Virginia: University Press of Virginia, 1987),204, in which the Spotswood, 2/13/1788; George Washington to Reverend author mentions his efforts to calm what he saw as possible William Gordon, 10/15/1797, in The Writings of George ''female apprehensions," on Mrs. Washington's part, "on being Washington, 28:289, 29:414; 36:49. For Martha Washington's drove by Strange coachmen, with Strange Horses." love of country life and especially life at Mount Vernon, see Martha Washington to , 12/26/1789; Martha 3\ For George Washington limiting himself to one or two rather Washington to Frances Bassett Washington, 7/1/1792, in plain dishes at dinner, eschewing dessert, and partaking "Worthy Partner. "223,239. For Martha Washington's sparingly of wine, see Custis, Recollections and Private influence on gardening at Mount Vernon, see J.D. Norton and Memoirs of Washington, 169, 436n, 493; Nelly Custis Lewis to Susanne A. Schrage-Norton, "The Upper Garden at Mount Elizabeth Bordley Gibson, 2/23/1823 (manuscript, private Vernon Estate, Its Past, Present, and Future: A Reflection of collection; typescript, Mount Vernon Ladies' Association), For 18th Century Gardening, Phase II: The Complete Report, an example of Martha Washington's appetite, seemingly 9/25/1985" (unpublished report prepared for the Mount Vernon injudicious in this case, see Documentary History of the First Ladies' Association), 42-46. For her knowledge of Federal Congress of the United States of America, Volume IX: gardeninglhorticulture, see Martha Washington to Hannah The Diary of William Maclay and Other Notes on Senate , 6/22/1784, in "Worthy Partner," 194 and Debates, edited by Kenneth R. Bowling and Helen E. Veit Manasseh Cutler, 1/2/1802, in William Parker Cutler and Julia (Baltimore and London: Ths:Johns Hopkins University Press, Perkins Cutler, Life Journals and Correspondence of Rev. 1988), 74. Manasseh Cutler. LL.D. By His Grandchildren, Volume II (Cincinnati, Ohio: Robert Clarke & Co., 1888),58. 32 For George Washington being quiet and reserved, see Nelly Custis Lewis to Jared Sparks, 2/26/1833, in Sparks, The Life of 25 Custis, Recollections and Private Memoirs of Washington, George Washington, 522; to her sister, 162-163,509. 7/12/1789, in New Letters of Abigail Adams, 15; Niemcewicz, Under Their Vine and Fig Tree, 102. For Martha Washington

26 Nelly Custis Lewis to Jared Sparks, 2/26/1833, in Jared being a good conversationalist, see Olney Winsor to Mrs. Olney Sparks, The Life of George Washington (Boston: Ferdinand Winsor, 3/31/1788, in The Documentary History of the Andrews, 1839),521-522. Ratification of the Constitution, Volume 8, edited by John P. Kaminski and Gaspare J. Saladino (Madison, Wisconsin: State 27 See "Birth Order and Your Child," found on 6/26/2001, at the Historical Society of Wisconsin, 1988), 523; Niemcewicz, website of Family Links at the Parent and Child Guidance Under Their Vine and Fig Tree, 103. For the love of the Center, 2644 Banksville Road, Pittsburg, 15216 soldiers in the for Mrs. Washington, see (http://trlil.c Ipgh.org/pcgclbirlhordeI'.htrn!). Custis, Recollections and Private Memoirs of Washington, 403, 508-509. For Mrs. Washington inspiring love from others, see l! For Martha Washington's interest in newspapers, see Vail, Abigail Adams to her sister, 7/12/1789, in New Letters of editor, "A Dinner at Mount Vernon: From the Unpublished Abigail Adams, I A Guide To Historic Alexandria Order Form

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