Yn Pabyr Seyr

The Free Manx Paper Earroo / Issue 47 - Mean Souree / July 2011 Published by Mec Vannin The Producers Do YOU remember So Treasury approved funding of almost £34 million since 2007 for the so called 'film industry'. Already more than £10.5 million has been written off. We suspect voting for the latest there will be more to come!

Treasury minister Anne Craine, Lieutenant Governor? speaking in defence of this 'investment' said, "film is an industry which is, by According to the BBC, which continues And what terrific value for money! The reputation, risky .... sometimes you are to thieve nearly £5,000,000 a year out LG is appointed by the UK and we pay not lucky, that is the nature of the game.” of this country, the had a all expenses. He gets a well appointed say in the appointment of the Lieutenant residence in extensive grounds, rarely We say that government has no Governor for the first time this year. has to get out of bed before midday business gambling with tax payers' Sorry, but that particular election got unless he's forced to attend a Coffee money! past us. Actually, a panel of three pillars MORNING (how tiresome), is driven of Manx society were given a choice of everywhere by a chauffeur in the latest Mrs Craine continued, "We can't look at names. Actually, a choice of name. Nice Jaguar saloon, a day and night chef (in these figures in isolation ...... these to see a clear and transparent case he feels like a midnight snack), a investments are very long term .... the democratic process in operation. housekeeper, P.A. , all necessary film industry is an important part of the household staff and a huge furniture economy in film terms and in promotion Of course, the latest incumbent is such budget. of the Island". a nice young man. Well, that makes it all alright then, doesn't it? The It has been calculated that each cup of Well really? For a risky return? It is not whitewash is far too thin to hide the fact coffee he slurps at the various events the function of government to play stock that the Lieutenant Governor remains a he graces to allow the little people bow markets, speculate or back commercial colonial appointment sent here to keep and scrape to him costs the tax-payer film productions. That’s the territory of an eye on the natives and report back upwards of £1,000. producers and many of them don’t to Westminster if we dare get any ideas survive in a very risky business. above our station. Those who try But let's not forget that he ISN'T there defend the indefensible claim that the just to open fetes and grace coffee Government claims that, in overall governor's function is essentially mornings. His full list of powers show terms, the amount of money coming reduced to attending tea parties. That that he is very much capable of wielding back to the Island had exceeded all would explain why the Chief Constable a lot of power on the UK's behalf investment. Let's see the figures then! went to seek his advice before daring through the back door. If films had created hundreds of jobs for to arrest former Chief Minister Richard set construction, wardrobe and all the Corkill on fraud charges. many categories of trade that production requires, then maybe some of the investment would be excusable. Manx Children still lose out on £34 million is hell of a lot of investment. The money invested represents about nursery placements £425 for every person on the Island (not just every tax payer) and for that the Mec Vannin raised the matter of have been built on the outskirts and returns so far are about £76. That discriminatory practices in admission then surrounded by new development, doesn't seem like the "modest aim to to state school nurseries in YPS 43 the inhabitants of the area for whom the break even" of public accounts (July 2009), and the Department for schools were built are losing their committee chairman and sister of Anne Education and Children (yawn) has places to new housing, all to often Craine, Claire Christian. began to reconsider some criteria, containing new residents. Since the Film Commission especially the “English as a second A Peel candidate has already signalled was wrapped up and the remaining language” rule but the selection process his desire to transpose local politics into money subsumed into Isle of Man Film remains “post code lottery”. what claims to be a national LTD., money seems to have been After all the special criteria admissions government by promising to fight for invested in no hopers. One has to ask have been leap-frogged over the heads free nursery places for all Peel children. if this outfit is a competent body, or a of others, the remaining places are If you want to be a part of “national” bunch of amateurs. We have particular given to those children living physically politics, wouldn’t a policy of free nursery concern that Treasury financial closest to the school. This means that places to all Manx children be more controller Clive McGreal, is also director in Onchan and Peel, where the schools appropriate, Mr Harmer? of Isle of Man Film LTD. Yn pabyr seyr Issue 47 Page 2 The Consultants We make no apologies for printing this brilliant piece of satire by the late Roly Drower yet a third time. Originally given to Mec Vannin and published in Issue 26 of YPS (wrongly numbered as 23) in January 2001, it un-nervingly forecasts the “Manx Space Programme”. Printed again in 2008 as part of a tribute issue, now that we have NASA astronauts as guests and a couple of ex Russian space stations up at Jurby, it’s reproduction is felt appropriate. And God opened his window, and And the consultants asked 'What do you So the Consultants used their reached out and pointed down with a want us to do?' imaginations, then phoned up the Chief single, wrinkled finger. Minister's Office. And they were given several reams of And a thunderbolt fell to the earth and paper and told: 'We want you to write a 'We have finished our report.' hit the Chief Minister on the report.' foreheadjust as he was about to say 'I'm sorry but there's no one here at the something. And suddenly the Chief 'What do you want in the report?' moment. Can I take a message?' Minister was a changed man. 'Well, start with your credentials and They phoned up The Department of And the Speaker of looked up then itemize your expenses so far.' Local Government. from his lingerie catalogue and said: 'Yes, Mr Gelling.' 'Do you not want us to suggest a site 'We have finished our report.' for the launching pad?' And the Chief Minister said: 'I would like 'I'm sorry but the Minister is in a meeting.' to say, Mr Speaker, that, by the end of And the MLC’s looked hurriedly at the this decade, we shall put a Manxman civil service. And the senior civil They phoned up Port St Mary Harbour on the Moon.' servants said, Master's office.

And everyone was amazed. 'Don't worry about that bit.' and then 'I'm sorry but Mr Madrell’s laying pots.' quietly drew straws. And the Isle of Man Examiner had the And so the Consultants submitted their headline: Manxman to be put on moon. And after much deliberation, they said: four inch thick report as directed by the And the Manx Independent had the 'We have chosen Braddan for the bylaw enforcement officer to the headline: Man found pissing in sink. project, which will be code-named "Up recycling bins outside B and Q, and And the Courier had the headline: Yours Buster" Obviously, in order to then posted their bill to the treasury. Shoprite prices lower than ever. accommodate the vast workforce necessary to complete this prestigious And the treasury passed the bill to the And God fiddled with the catch on project, we will also need to build 5000 Chief Minister. And the Chief Minister another window. first time buyer homes and to widen a passed it back to the treasury and said: few roads.' And Gabriel said: 'Who let him out of 'Because of gross overspending in the bed?' But nobody knew. And the road widening began consultancy stage the mission will now immediately without consultation for be a hot air balloon carrying a small dog.' And the civil servants got together and some reason, in Abbeylands. said: 'Ah-ha. The Moon. What we need And the next day Manx radio received are the very best consultants for this And the consultants said 'What shall we a record fourteen phone calls, including job. There's my nephew Jim in Walsall. do now? Shall we help with the rocket?' one fifteen minute call from the wife of And I have a sister in law in Baltimore an MLC protesting at the cruelty of whose brother knows something about And the Treasury Minister shook his using a battery dog in an airborne space.' head and said: no-escape balloon situation.

And the consultants arrived on the 'We have negotiated the purchase of a And so the balloon was shelved, and Island, and then more consultants, and retired SS20 missile from a the dog was sent back to Ard Jerkyll and everyone said, 'Where are we going to businessmen in Minsk - a well the civil servants sighed with relief put them.' respected dealer who let us have it for because thousands of houses had now a snip in exchange for some Offshore been scheduled, and nobody had even And the said: 'I financial services.' noticed. know of some holiday cottages in Maughold.' 'What shall we do then?' Gabriel gave God a large sedative Then waved his finger and said: 'Have we And the inspector for counting livestock 'Why don't you to write that report!' been going walk-about again?' more than once and other hill-farming subsidies said: 'Who let him out of bed?' 'What do you want in the report?' And he walked over to the window and But nobody knew. quietly closed it. 'Well, use your imagination.' Roland Paul (Roly) Drower Yn pabyr seyr Issue 47 Page 3 The January 2006 edition of YPS foresaw As the race for space continues, we use Tynwald Hill as a node for space travel and the these pages to predict that Tynwald Hill will cartoon below was accompanied by an article be used for interstellar travel in the future. entitled “Space Cadets” which speculated that the several abortive attempts of our high Many of those who “go up the hill” powered space delegation was the result of them certainly don’t remain on this planet for long being part of a reality TV hoax

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A Tynwald Select Committee was set with the status quo’ but hoped that the Public up in 2009 to decide whether the Island BBC would provide more Isle of Man receives good value for money from the coverage for a wider audience. Well, cost of a TV licence. We wait with hoping is not enough Mr Earnshaw. Transport still anticipation for the report due to be This is another example of the Isle of published this month. How does it take Man Government kneeling down and so long to make a decision that to many accepting the dictat of the British in need of vast people is quite clear? Compared to Establishment. It is long over due for other regions trapped in the net of the some sustained pressure on the BBC improvement BBC we do not get a good deal. for a better deal Mec Vannin's policy is to reduce the Let’s compare with the Channel Islands. BBC Local Radio costs about 3.2% of economic drain and other undesirable For the same licence fee as us, they get the licence fee (about £2.8 million for impacts resulting from over a fully funded Local Radio station plus each local radio station) of which we get dependence on private motor vehicles. a dedicated Television Local News slot no benefit. Our Government should be To that end, the party has often daily in both early and late evening demanding a large slice of that money advocated a free and frequent public regional News. In other words, the to help run our own local but transport system. Channel Islands receive more local independent radio station ie a proper news on television by the BBC in one service without being a burden to the Since the dark days of the early 1980s day than we receive in one month. taxpayer. when IoM Road Services (as it was) bought ex-Merseyside Transport In order to provide this superior service The UK Government has been handy Atlantean double deckers (someone in to the Channel Islands, the BBC employ at withholding money and quick to Liverpool City Council must have been about 50 journalists compared to 3 in renege on certain services over the doing somersaults when they actually the Isle of Mann. years, and if a satisfactory agreement got money for their scrappers instead cannot be reached, then the Isle of Man of paying to have them towed away), This situation reflects the disdain of the Government should collect the licence the buses have improved greatly and BBC towards the Manx audience. Their fee itself and give the BBC a suitable the wisdom of investing in new vehicles weak argument to this obviously proportion for its services. The money was finally recognised. Punctuality imbalanced coverage is that local news obtained would, not only fund Manx improved steadily but then things is available on-line. A recent personal Radio but possibly also a local started to go wrong. The past twelve survey over 2 months indicated that television station. months have been truly appalling and Granada TV provided a better coverage we have to seriously question who is of Isle of Mann news than BBC We believe that T.V. licence holders in making what decisions. Routes are Northwest. the Isle of Man have been short- erratic, often irregular, time keeping has changed by the BBC for too long and it gone out of the window and some So are we getting a fair deal ? Well Mr. is high time that the Isle of Man services just don't seem to appear. Earnshaw, Minister for Home Affairs, Government stood up for the people it seems to think so. e was quoted as claims to represent and negotiate a The absolute lack of planning that has saying that he was ‘fairly comfortable fairer deal. resulted in sprawling housing estates that do not lend themselves to bus services has not helped, but Mec Vannin's suggestions to address this Mec Vannin Membership with taxi and mini-bus skipper services have been pointedly ignored. Membership of Mec Vannin is open to all who support the aims and objectives of the party which are: There have been several public meetings in which the public were Central Aims and Objectives: To achieve national independence for Mann as a essentially told to like or lump the sovereign state, based on a republican form of government. To further and changes, which is hardly the way to safeguard the interests of Mann. To protect the individual and collective rights encourage greater bus usage. It would of its people. seem that many drivers are equally disenchanted with the way things are More information can be found at our website (see page 3). being run (strike action being narrowly averted last week) . Whereas there have been some areas of improvement, Full membership is open to Manx residents age 18 and over and associate we feel it is time for an investigation into membership is open to all others who wish to support the party. the management of the buses.

Rates are: £10pa (full) or £15pa for a couple living together. Associate and The one place that actually does get a unwaged rate is £5pa. regular bus service is ’s constituency where from 6.30am to past The Party has the right to decline membership without stating a reason. 8.00pm, there are at least two buses per hour. That is over twice as many as any other housing estate route.