K and East Lansing Before the Cur- Tain Is Rung Down Here with Purdue in the Co-Starring Role

October ored Walk 193 9 II

jI Price 150

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DANCH A Apologies to Petty NECKINGU

r says you just can't sue A .S. :h of promise." By burning 25/% slower than the average of the 15 other of the largest-selling brands tested slower than any of them - CAMELS give a smoking plus equal to

W[HATEVER price you pay per pack for your smokes, Camels give you more actual smoking pleasure for your money. A prominent scientific laboratory made impartial tests on 16 of the largest-selling cigarette brands. Here are the results:

CAMELS were found to contain MORE TOBACCO BY WEIGHT than the average for the 15 other of the largest-selling brands. 2 CAMELS BURNED SLOWER THAN ANY OTHER BRAND TESTED - 25% SLOWER THAN THE AVERAGE TIME OF THE 15 OTHER OF THE LARGEST-SELLING BRANDS! By burning 25% slower, on the average, Camels give smokers the equivalent of 5 EXTRA SMOKES PER PACK!

In the same tests, CAMELS HELD THEIR ASH FAR LONGER than the average time for all the other brands.

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I *% I. U. GONE SISSY? If the spirits of departed I. U. boressers ever gather in solemn conclave, if the ghosts of long-gone pranksters ever meet for grave. (no pun intended) discussion, if a phantasmagoric file of former funsters ever returns to its Jordan haunts, what a weeping and a Walls wailing and a gnashing of teeth there must be. For this benighted campus has gone "sissy" and gone the Vol. X No. 2 whole way. That may not bother the present crop of students, it OCTOBER, 1939 may well please the faculty and the administration, it may not even be known to most alumni, but in many a hallowed grave a restless spirit is twisting in torment at the shameful degradation that has overcome our little Hoosier pleasure spot. DON HEROLD They are not all gone to that great campus they once dreamt of, Godfather where classes are bull sessions and bull sessions are classic, where pranks and practical jokes are the major subjects and a little LOY BAXTER rough stuff is the spice of each glorious hour. Some of the old Graduate Editor timers are around, some of them are still on the campus, but they have grown middle-aged and sober-viewed and responsible and only when caught off guard over a midnight sandwich do they go soft and recall the days when men were men and college boys were college boys and I.U. had plenty of both. Of course, it isn't entirely the fault of those of us who pass (or flunk) for undergraduates in this soft and safe era. We didn't ask BOB MEYER them to abolish cap-burning just because some freshman got his Editor-in-Chief clothes wet. We didn't ask for official action every time some guy tore a hang nail in a good, friendly free-for-all. We wouldn't frown on fraternity fracases because somebody absent-mindedly pokes his JOHN W. FOX Business Manager elbow through a window or demolishes a little lawn furniture. But those things haven't happened for so long we haven't sense enough to know what we're missing. EARL McCASLIN Where, for instance, are fellows like the old Book Nook gang Advertising Manager members. When things got dull (rare in those days) they bought themselves a dollar's worth of glassware, retreated to opposite ends JACK MODISETT of the old Book Nook, and threw the stuff at each other. When they Circulation Manager got restless they drove their car through the Book Nook doorway, or the plate glass window, it didn't matter which. Did the Nook close at 3 a.m.? So they drove to Cincinnati for a cup of coffee. Did a freshman have a date? So they threw fits for his girl friend and scared them both out of three hours' credit. Did Pete buy them a new piano? So they chopped it up nests and all. STAFF and brought back the old one, rats' And those were the days when no freshman belonged within Tom Miller serenade distance of the campus until he had gone swimming in Nate Kaplan the Jordan. Those were the days when every senior wore a pair Bill Fitzgibbon. of cords so stiff with filth they could walk without him, and any- Bob Johnson body unlucky enough to have a pair of senior cords and less than Babs Hoelocker 90 hours was in mortal danger of having his pants, dignity and may- Lucy Sutton be a leg or two unceremoniously removed. Those, in short, were the Jim Wood days when a half century of traditional boress had imbued the cam- Ginger Austin pus with the wholly irresponsible devil-may-careness that only col- Dick Beavans lege can create and this college will never know again. Max Scherer Blackie Wellnitz WE'RE A-FUEDIN', PAW Recently The Indiana Daily Student published an editorial calling a sucker anyone who would fall for a Bored Walk subscription cam- Copyright 1936 by the Bored Walk paign. Which didn't say that anyone who READ Bored Walk was a Publishing Co., Inc. sucker, which is more than we can say for the Student. Because Published monthly nine times during anyone who would pay four rocks for the Student isn't a sucker, he's the school year from September to May a Charitable Society for Anemic Journalists. And anyone who inclusive by students of Indiana Uni- would read the Student isn't a sucker, he's a professor looking for versity. his name in the paper, or a University band member seeing if the "Entered as second class matter at pub stuff was printed. Bloomington, Indiana, under the Act of And so, in all fairness to the new Daily Student policy of indif- March 3, 1879." ference toward Bored Walk campaigns, we have decided to be white Address: Bored Walk, Indiana Uni- about it. The Bored Walk policy is: We don't care how the Student versity, Bloomington Ind. sells subs or how many, because it offers the Bored Walk no com- Subscription rates one dollar the year. petition. After all, the Bored Walk is not a tabloid. Single copies fifteen cents. So this year's fued begins. Just like the Martins and the Coys. Bill is a smart signal caller and has a GRAPHIC GRID -CAST nice smile, but the first attribute likely will do the most good on the field. - By TOM MILLER - Ray "Humpty" Dumke doesn't fall Salient facts on the Indiana football visectory to class hours and enemy off walls-he goes through them. His team: backfields. Mike Bucchianeri and Bill brother is an end and people often see Time of performances: Every Satur- Smith, wearers of the "I", are vets who, them running around together. All the day afternoon, with the exception of with Charlie Steele and the Whites, world loves a fat man, until he sits Oct. 28, from now to Nov. 25. Starting Charlie and Gene, give this depart- down on them in scrimmage. Viva la times will be in Eastern central, Cen- ment a well-needed shot in the arm. Eddie Herbert. Joe Tofil is as shifty as tral standard, day-light saving, all of Centers-Call it Gahm as in game, or a fat man on a banana peel, while which we make no attempt at trans- vice versa, but he's pivot man. It looks Harold Hursh leans more towards lation. Besides my watch is wrong. like he'd get a wrong slant on the punts and passes, a whiz at both. Place: Since the premiere at Me- world from that position. From the Plenty of reserve strength is on hand morial stadium, a four-act drama en- Mason-Dixon line, now he's right in to give a helping hand. Mickey Mc- titled, "You Can Take the Corn Out of the center of the Hoosier line. Mike Guire (not from the comic strip) ; Cornhuskers But You Can't Take the Naddeo and Walter Jurkiewicz are "Red" Zimmer, an auburn-haired lad Fight out of Fightin' Hoosiers," the capable snapper-backers in reserve. who runs like blazes; Charlie Niblick troupe has gone on a six-weeks' road Backfield-Tim Bringle runs, passes (not to be confused with the club but tour. and punts and probably plays a nice just as dangerous); "Tuffy" Brooks, The complete itinerary includes one- hand of bridge, although that is inci- Addie Marshall, Page Benson and an- day stands (some of which have al- dental. He and Bill Tipmore are from other Smith, this one Kenneth, are the ready been fulfilled) at Iowa City, Elkhart and horn in on every play. most touchdown-promising candidates Madison, Champaign, Columbus, New York and East Lansing before the cur- tain is rung down here with Purdue in the co-starring role. Indiana's prospects of winning: while not as sure as Roosevelt's chances of carrying Alabama, neither are they as poor as those of the fellow who tries to throw a "7" with one die- which is just another way of saying they have a fighting chance in every game. Last year the Hoosiers in midfield made a steamroller look like a baby buggy, but touchdowns were a phe- nomena comparable in frequency with eclipses of the sun. Some upsets? - Maybe. Some losses? -unavoidable. Some victories?-yes. Coach: A. N. (Bo) McMillin, who proves again that there may be snow on the roof, but what counts is the furnace burning within. A fiery and passionate leader, he knows the secret to making players play better than they know how. Best bets: Inds-John Janzaruk, Jim Ellen- wood, Archie Harris, Russ Higginboth- am, Eddie Rucinski and Mike Dumke. They are the means to an end. They are all fast, and greet passes like a check from home. The law of limita- tions says only two can play at one time, but the others will be in there to get in their licks. Tackles-Al Sabol, Frank Smith, Emil Uremovich and "Tiny" Trimble are four anemic-looking gentlemen totaling well over 800 pounds. A standard part of their equipment is the block and tackle, employed in all-razing projects. The muscles of their brawny arms stand out hire iron bands, as Mr. Long- fellow put it. Guards-Capt. Jim Logan is in medi- can school, but he will confine his CAPT. JIM LOGAN THE GJJ WORD IN MANUS CURA

Initials on your fingernails... And jingles on your toes. With trinkets on your belt

makes you another Indian . . . But the Greeks had a word for it... the last word.

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The latest flash from silver fashion center . . . to the traditional leader of design and quality in Sterling. Wallace Silversmiths have added craftsman ingenuity, inventiveness and painstaking handwork to recreate the sculptured, hand-wrought character of one of the "Great THE MOZART... priceless old masterpieces. Be sure to see the new "Great Master" Master" patterns.. . in the spirit of Viennese Patterns in Sterling by Wallace.... at the best Jewelers. Baroque Modern. Flamboyant in its compo- NO COVER CHARGES FOR BROCHURES . . . WRITE sition of delicate, ornate gaiety... sparkling in its clear full-carved, jewel-like detail that will reflect a thousand scintillating twinkles. These new patterns have the added value of T ~LXCE 3rd dimension beauty.. . a full-formed hand- X\/1 WALLINGFRDSTE CONNECTICUT wrought qualitynot found in ordinary sterling. RL ING WHY I NEVER EXPECT TO GRADUATE Dear Bursar: Your bill for $9.83 for replace- ments on my chem lab just arrived and I think it's quite reasonable con- sidering the good time all the lab assistants had when the Professor over- turned the box while lecturing me on the necessity of always being careful in the lab. I hope you'll forgive me for not answering your first note, but I wanted to make a list of a few things I wanted you to replace. When you're downtown, you can stop in at the department store and pick me up a new lab coat. Be sure to get one large enough for me, and make sure it's a linen one-that's the kind your lab assistant preferred. Af- ter the acids spilled on my leg, he said it was the- best kind to tear in strips and wrap around the leg. While you're downtown, you can stop in at a men's clothing store and order me a pair of pants to match the jacket I'm sending under separate mail. You see, when the acid dropped on my leg, I (it's a peculiar habit of mine) was wearing my pants, and it ate an enormous hole out of the right trouser leg. And, by the way, you can also get me a new Elgin wristwatch which. another lab assistant smashed. He really couldn't help it because he just grabbed hold of the first thing in sight when he backed into another lab assistant who was holding a bunsen- burner so he could see what was going on better. I wear size ten shoes and prefer a medium brown shade. You see, the Professor spilled a bottle of iodine all over my shoe while he was trying

"It's positively uncanny-year in and year out every Halloween I receive invitations to parties from people I hardly know."

to save what was left of my leg. I'm pay for my crutch. If my leg ever heals not including the socks as one had a I promise to send it right to you. hole in anyway. Very truly yours, You can also get me a pack of cig- William Henry, '43 arettes as allthe lab assistants said the P. S. I forgot to include two swiss sight of my leg upset their nerves and cheese sandwiches, a banana and an they needed a smoke to calm down. apple, which constituted my lunch, "If this fella's got the tape-worm he And to be honest with you, I don't and which was eaten up by the acids claims he's got, r' going' on a fishin' trip." really see why I should have had to or a lab assistant. cigarettes and I had a date 15 minutes ago. GRAPES OF WRATH FLOOR WALKER: If you hurry you " THE BOOKTERIA PLAN can just make it. STUDENT: Well, here then, take EXPLAINED the cigarettes. I don't want them. I just want to get out of here. (An innocent student saunters by the STUDENT: My girl doesn't smoke FLOOR WALKER: Do you have bookstore. He needs a package of cig- this kind. your sales slip? arettes. Ignorant of all impending SECRETARY: Fill out this form, STUDENT: (In agony) Oh NO! I dangers, he decides to buy a pack at please. Tell why she doesn't like this threw it away. the Bookstore of the students, by the cigarette, tell why it is with men who FLOOR WALKER: You'll have to students and against the students, be- know tobacco best it's Luckies 2 to 1, have it before we can make any re- fore he meets the most beautiful girl what is number one on the Hit Parade, funds. on the campus for an afternoon coke what's your mother's middle name and (He begins groveling around on the date. She smokes like a chimney, so he how many cigar coupons have you floor on hands and knees in desepera- enters the doorway for a pack of Marl- saved, if any. tion, bumping into peoples' legs, search- borors). ing for the sales slip. He is in a semi- (He fills out blank and, after sign- hysteria and utters and groans under MAN AT DOOR: Here, you'll have to ing insurance policy, checkbook and his breath. He is drooling. He combs take one of these tickets. the secretary's autograph album, she the floor for an infinite length of time STUDENT: No, thanks. takes his finger prints and gives him a until the manager taps him on the 200-page document requesting the MAN: But you must. You have to shoulder). clerk at the cigarette counter to change fill out all your purchases here and MANAGER: Sorry, sir, but it's clos- his purchase to Luckies. He wanders pay the cashier at the other door as ing time. You'll have to leave. wearily back to the clerk and gets the you leavJe. (He picks up a counter and brains Luckies. Now he is getting panicky him with it). STUDENT: But, you see, I just want because it is almost time for his date. a pack of cigarettes. He tries to go out the door but the MAN: But you-but-well, you have man accuses him of trying to escape NEWS ITEM: to, that's all. I was told to give every- without paying and sends him back to BLOOMINGTON, Ind., December 2, body one of these-and, well-it's the the long line by the cashier). 1942-A NYA worker, sweeping up in rule, you know. Please be reasonable. STUDENT: I'd like to go please; I the Indiana University bookstore, found STUDENT: All right, but I just want just bought a package of cigarettes. John Smythe, '39, in a state of ossifi- a package of cigarettes. cation today. Smythe clutched a pack- FLOOR WALKER: Sorry, you'll have (Man at door shoves ticket into stu- age of stale Luckies in one hand and a to wait in line until the cashier can dent's hand. He walks toward cigarette yellowed sales slip in the other. He take care of you. Just give her your counter a bit bewildered at the ticket.) stood unnoticed by the cash register, little ticket. It reads: braced ominously against the wall, his KEEP THIS CARD STUDENT: But I've got a date. long beard hanging to the floor and Have your purchases listed below. FLOOR WALKER: Congratulations, his finger nails long and curled and If no purchases are made, return buddy. That's more than I could do horny. card at the west door. with a bad disposition. When questioned, the manager said. BOOKTERIA PLAN STUDENT: But I've got to get out of "You see, it was our new Bookteria STUDENT: A package of Marlboros, here. All I wanted was a package of plan. He didn't quite understand it. please. CLERK: Yes, sir. Here you are, sir. STUDENT: Can you take this check? CLERK: You'll have to go back to p that window. They'll cash it for you back there. STUDENT: But, I've got a date-Oh, all right. (He stands in line for ten minutes. Just when he gets to the window, the girl puts out a sign: OUT OF CASH. WILL HAVE MORE AT 4:30. He bor- rows the money for a package of cigarettes from a friend, but he is told that this beautiful quill won't like Marlboros, so he decides to get Luck- ies). CLERK: Sorry, there are no ex- changes made unless you get the signature of the secretary. If you'll just step back to that office (He goes back to the office and suc- ceeds in getting the attention of the secretary). SECRETARY:. You want to exchange them? Why? "And what does your husband do, Mrs. Beavans?" We're all around the campus And we see a million things; Now all the latest boress The Bored Walk to you brings. BRINGS -C. I. Digget - By GINGER AUSTIN - WITH MALICE TOWARD NONE AND CHARITY larly with JERRY, Daily Stooge, last year and is now teaching TOWARD SOME HIMMELSBACH. school. CHARL-IE, Sig Nu, Hedge cer- A little suggestion Between board sessions, Beta From a group of fair maids, rhinie RAY VON SPRECKEL- tainly must have known that JUNE, AOPi lady, KENNEDY K.D.R. house needs badly SON dates JOAN, Theta pledge, Some dressing room shades. SPRAY. would accept his badge when he bought a new jeweled one this NOW MAY I HAVE YOUR JOHN, Phi Psi McFARLAN ex- summer. FRATERNITY PIN? pressed his seniority early by pinning BEA, independent beau- BILL -"baldy"_. ARMSTRONG, Alpha Chi cutie, PAULINE ty, MURPHY. Sig Nu tradition, dates BAR- TAYLOR, still allows much of BARA, KKG gal, HEALY quite her time to be occupied by JIM, GEORGE, Delt prexy, SCHILL- frequently but we understand "I do as I please" DILTS, Beta ING and brother Delts are rush- that they both have loves at lad. ing VIRGINIA, MH queen, home and spend their evenings GARTH WAIT. PHYLLIS, golden key gal, consoling each other-but how BURGER and TRUMAN ROSE, Hansen TOM CRAVENS, Beta do they console? Phi Psi romeo, have decided to prexy, carries a torch for JER- DOROTHY, P.O.P. quickie, BOT- "Love Thy Neighbor"-and with RY, D'G lassie, GATES these TORFF put her Delta Chi pin in him on every coed's S.P. list. nights. her jewel box and is dating other MAUREEN, DG, FIEGEN- JUNE, unorganized smoothie, boys. THE Delta Chi in question SCHUH and PHIL, Phi Psi's WHITMAN has been seen regu- is BILL GRAGG who graduated redhot, GREEN have reached a steady agreement. RODNEY, Beta, REM HILLER seeks the company of AUDREY, AOPi Arbutus editor, SMITH more and more. JEANNE, "Sonja Henie" PIER- SON, Tri Delt neophyte, may accept the proffered heart of WYLE, Delt, DE BRYANT sometime soon but just now she wants to find out how the other half lives. What P.O.P. pledge whose initials are RENEE REYNOLDS promised GEORGE McCAIN, Lambda Chi male, whose name I can't reveal, that she would go steady after one date which was also her first night at L.U.? "IBBY" LANIER, Delta Gamma pledge, and BILL "I used to be a Theta" NORTON, Sig man, have found a lot of things in common-anyway enough to warrant quite a few dates. REED, K.D.R. guy, DIESE although last year tied to VIR- GINIA, Sigma Kappa journalist, TRICKEY'S apron strings has broken the ties that bound and is showering his attention on ANN, Alpha Chi, CASEY. A common question in the KKG house, "Who's dating Wilcox tonight?" ATO Howdy is making the rounds- "Get your paper with the lineups for the game-know all the players- And believe us, he's doing all complete with position, weight and salary." right! Violent Upheavals of the Romantic FOOD FOR GOSSIP Substitution - TIPMORE FOR Field. . .. Tsk! Tsk! What a MENKE Lot of Love for (One Month! Floyd (call me BILL) TIP- MORE, D.U. athletic wonder, has promised JOAN, personality kid, WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY DICK GUTH, of Kappa Delta BARR, Theta, his pin after the THE MOUSE TURNS INTO Rho, row, row your boat, pushed football season. A RAT a diamond ring on the third fin- FOREST SMITH, D.U. rhinie, TOM, Beta and MARION MYERS, Pi Phi jo, ROBINSON has ger of the left hand of HELEN, new one, were smitten at first been stringing along I.U. lassies AD]Pi, GREENE. sight. They met on enrollment his pin is safely nestled while day and were going steady be- among a Frankfort gal's posses- MICKEY, Gilbert F., COOPER, Sig sport, has had his white fore they had their enrollment sions. cards filed. Delt HARRY, "puffie" HUFF croSs on Theta darling CHAR- FTE FLEMING since last MARIAN, Tri Delta lass, SMITH of DG fame is dating ELOISE, LOJ e-just one summer pinning returned GAIL, DG neophtye, STUMP since his Jun Delt med stooge, Delta Gamma pinnee, DOR- tha didn't come unfastened. ELDRIDGE his pin as a gesture of tribute to the cadaver queen OTHY BURCHFIELD is not in To 1be or not to be in school! who will henceforth demand his school this year. S.A.E.'s question of the day, time. Ditto also for ROBERTA And still throat slashing this 'For re Hank Wernet breaks a HASKELL, Pi Phi senior, and year are FRED, Sig, CAPP and DG's heart HIRAM, Med too, SEVTON, Beta, BOB MAUZY. This time He' d better decide to stay. Delt. the gal in question is Theta pledge, DORIS JONES. BARBARA, get away closer, SIMMERMAN of KKG renown, returned the Phi Delt badge of JERRY, grad, KING. However, she gets a daily epistle from Cleveland where Jerry eats and sleeps. BOB, Acacia, STRAESSER has been playing the field since JEAN Phi Mu, BASH entered Nurse's training in Naptown. BILL THOMPSON, Sig Nu breath taker, and RUTH ROG- ERS, Pi Phi cutie, are no longer under pin and chain. A BIRD IN HAND IS SAFER THAN TWO OVERHEAD It is rumored that RUTH, DG, COLLE has GUS BROWN'S "who hasn't had it" Sig pin. They admit of going steady but deny the pin. Kappa's MARGE PYLE hasn't had a chance to miss Phi Delt HEBER, we call him Bud, HERKLESS, '39. From the frequency of his visits he doesn't intend to give her a chance for freedom. "I love all red heads" BABS, Tri 2171, HOELOCKER continues her partiality for fiery tops and is dating RED BROCHER. JIM, Theta Chi, ANTRIM plunk- ed his swords of gold on BETTY, Z.T.A., GRIFFIS who just - couldn't say "no". BUD STIGDON, Sig Nu special, is himself wearing the five- armed star that MARY, Chi 0 - beauty queen, BENNINGHOFF adorned her blouse with last year. "Oh, Johnny, I have just the.date for your pledge... Honest, she's a bird." 412

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r0 away" with that "smooth" look when she wears a black taffeta dinner dress Clothes Make the Woman! with a back-to-the-'90's bustle. Really a double duty dress, counting the bol- or ero tufted taffeta. The added touches of heavy gold costume jewelry, gold (TRUTH THAT WALKS NAKED) sandals, topped with a fittde velvet - By BABS HOELOCKER - evening coat with a standup ermine collar makes it almost certain that OFFICIAL PROCLAMATION: OF THE MONTH "danger- Betty will "get away" with it. Be it known, then, that the I.U. SCOOP demure" is the slogan for eve- board, sometimes called "The Spies ously ning. With formal season coming EILEEN DOYLE, of the same house on the Flaming Fems of '43", has up, don't forget tight bodices for makes a bid for an A grade in the justly met and considered the fall slim waists-small flowers in your coking class with a campus dress of crop of female frosh, and do here- hair and loose, girlish hairdos. red and green plaid, Dutch boy skirt by proper some significant and in- teresting facts. Helena Rubenstein's "Apple Blos- and long full sleeves. A tip from Eileen som" can't miss if someone is on the on the latest thing in fem "jo" coats- NORMA OVERBAY, Kappa Alpha trail of the scent. a a length beige corduroy with big Theta, found guilty of choosing a tur- HOT-OFF-THE-GRIDDLE FASH- buttons and square patch pockets. quoise pin stripe flannel for Friday ION FLICKS-Try a fem pork-pie night dances.-Made with long full hat, a variation on the classic roller JEANNE TEANEY, Chi O, wears a sleeves and wide flaring skirt, nipped and much newer. green velveteen with the % length in at the waistline with a beige leather sleeves, gored and fitted princess style belt. A dubonet roller brim tops off with a zipper down the back which and skirts. Wanda suggests a dark the dress, with a heavy bracelet of reaches the bustle. "Try (sunset) hose red velveteen skirt worn with a white the same color for that added touch. with green, kiddies," says Jeanne. batiste blouse and cardigan sweater. ANN JACKSON, of the same lodge, Black alligator accessories and a tiny would be well "suited" for any of ye black pillbox trailing streamers dress IBBY LANIER, Delta Gamma, pos- a two-faced coat, gentlemen of males, in a blue velveteen costume up the outfit. Mary goes collegiate in sesses suit, a favorite for Sunday afternoons. a classic wa ywith a matchmaker of the jury-a reversible Chesterfield, Jap mink trims the suit and a small corded wine wool. with slipover and fitted and double breasted, rough trench- pointed hat which matches. Ann "sloppy joe" cardigan to match. Tradi- tweed on one side and beige the chooses shoes, hat and purse of brown tional as the Well House itself are the coat on the ohter. Wears it on of Bloomington's rainy suede. saddle shoes, anklets navy blue roller "grounds" and pearls which go with it. Added weather. DOTTIE SHAFER, of the three note-a huge campus purse which Deltas accused of being seen in a light houses compact, pen, cigarettes, lip- DOROTHY McLAIN-DG, justly blue wool dress with that tricky coat stick and what have you. "campused" in an olive green skirt, effect-and with red hair too, if we may tweed jacket with brown, yellow and say so. Large walnut wood buttons FLASH-BETTY NEIGHBORGALL, green striped, and fluffy angora slip- and a wide pleat down the front give Omega, said to be contemplating Chi over with low-heeled brown shoes, and illusion-Trimmed with beige the coat robbery of some male heart. Rumors pert ribbon in her hair Dot would be cord on belt and sleeves. Mhen the have it that Betty will make a "get an accessory to the fact in any man's mood demands, Dottie wears asaucy eyes. little brown felt with streamer rib- bons down the back. SHIRLEY LANDEhi-Kappa Kappa LA VAUN REELING, Tri Delt, sus- Gamma, anticipates an evening "mag- pected of appearing at a future dance na cum laude" in a black tissue taf- in a white lace formal trimmed with feta evening dress with vertical stripes black velvet ribbon, which adorns the of cerise, green and blue. A tight vel- bottom of the skirt and the starched vet bodice nips the waistline and lace drop shoulders. Watch for the flares into a bustle in back. Here ye- short velvet jacket, with a peplum a new topper for evening-an aqua- giving the bustle effect and a tiny marine evening coat in tweed, fitted velvet skull cap. with princess lines and long sleeves- coat and hood lined with wine velvet. Reports coming in of ALMA For that subtle touch, it's Chanel, a FREYN'S (Alpha Chi smoothie) pre- light evening perfume, says the KKG. conceived ideas of a week-end outfit. Rumors of a hunters green wool dress JEAN VOSS, aussi un Kappa, now topped with a lynx chubby jacket, fin- being held on suspicion of going to ger tip length. Color is the thing this the Homecoming game in a dark year, Alma says, so she chooses hat moss green wool suit. The dress is and purse of robinhood red and shoes tailored with flaring skirt and shirt- the dress. Eye witnesses to match waist style top. The short jacket opens needed. down the front and fits in at the waist WANDA CRADDOCK and MARY with tiny gold hooks. A green spec- LAMPTON, AX's, choose as '39 ma- tator hat and brown alligator pumps jors for campus wear, classic sweaters "What time is it, Mr. Snyder?" and purse complete the outfit. "i solemnly swear Nominated in every section

And definitely without objection

Regardless of which or what direction

Comes this ALL AMERICAN SELECTION I

FOR REAL MILDNESS

=, .:

Yes Sir-e-e! Chesterfields take the lead for mildness... they take the lead for better taste. With their right combination of the World's best cigarette tobaccos they give millions more smoking pleasure. ... watch the change to Chesterfield 1yA .- : rI

"You've been with this firm a week and I find that there's nothing you can do. When I engaged you, you told me you were a handy man." "Well, so I am. I live just around the corner, don't I?"

She: Are you doing anything for that cold of yours? He: I sneeze whenever it wants me to.

Woman: What a noise those neigh- hors make! Listen to the children howling. Maid: But that noise comes from your own nursery. Woman: Really! The little darlings must be enjoying themselves.

"Are you sure your wife knows I'm going home to dinner with you?" "Knows? I should say so! I argued with her about it this morning for half an hour."

Pat was a true son of Erin, and always ready for a joke. One day a farm- er in passing him shouted good- humoredly: "Bad luck to you, Pat!" "Good luck to you, sir!" cried Pat. "May neither of us be right!"

"He is the secretary of a chess club." "But what does he do?" "He reads the hours of the last meeting."

"This train will soon go under the river."

TUNE IN-Sir Walter Raleigh "Dog House." Every "Shall I close the window so the Tuesday night, NBC Red Network. water won't come in?" GEORGE, Delta Tau, RAUGH HERM SCHAEFER, A.T.O. bas- copped honors for the first pin- ketball flash, has again turned ning of the semester when he to his home town flame, Kappa persuaded HELEN, did some- HELEN THIEME. Incidentally, BORINGS.... one mention bottle?, KONOLD, has anybody seen BOB HOGUS Kappa beauty, to accept his around the campus this semes- square badge. ter? JACK SPENSER III, Beta guy, recently passed out cigars. A BETTY WHITLOCK, former HAL, baseball guy, CROMER, lovely little lady (anyway, he DG roddess, walked up that long, Sig Pi not in school this semes- claims she is lovely, little AND long trail with BILL WASH- ter, seemed quite glad to see a lady) in Evansville is wearing BURN, SAE grad, on Sept. 15. JERRY, Theta, HELVIE when hardware. his JACK (Rocky) FORD, DU soph, he was down for homecoming? What does that have to do with Here's a case of a wagon before is seen often in the company of home town gal, MARYELLEN, DON, Delta Chi, PAINTER lift- the horse-Neophyte LOUISE, ing his two year ban on women P.O.P., BYERS, took an engage- Pi Phi rhinie, RENSBERGER. DOROTHY, Tri Delt frosh, and dating the erstwhile ment ring from CARL. Lambda JERRY? Chi grad, BROK, one night and SHAFER is liking the attention by MORRIS, Delt accepted his badge the following shown her NANCY HULL, AOPi warbler night. senior, RITCHIE. with Devine, is having her usual IMOGENE SHARPNACK, Al- From the Phi Psi house to the trouble keeping an eye on BOB pha Chi neatie, is now wearing Practice house, (Rowdy) ROUDEBUSH, Theta the A.T.O. pin of ROSCOE CUT- Chi trombone man in the same Conversation from windows does band. SINGER... It all happened this flow summer while Cutty was ' has- ing Japanese beetles in Rich- Since prexy King and KKG Boyd ART FRUECHTENICHT, Figi mond. No wonder scientists con- Decided telephone service is man, and DOROTHY UR- tend that every bug is here for slow. BAHNS, Kappa gal, are still hit- some purpose. ting that steady gait. When will LONELY HEARTS the pinning be sprung? This may be the land of true CONNIE, KKG, HURST wearing of Phi freedom A. E. badge from Michigan BOB VAN RIESSEN a S. fame may have her evenings looking into Gamma Delta Phi dictator Williams says spends a girl at home but it Pi the future. his on "no"! doesn't hold much water when ANDY, ex-Six Nu prexy, OLOF- he's out with a certain Memorial Twyman's nominal head of Ar- SON sticks to the old adage that cutie, does it VIRGINIA GAR- butus, all work and no play makes plen- THWAIT? '39 But does naught without her say ty of jack. Since BETTY, is Speaking of pins that mean so. Theta prexy, SCHRADER, elsewhere, Andy's spare time is something, VIRGINIA BURK- THE ROLLING STONE spent boosting BORED WALK HOLDER, Theta neatie, doesn't WHICH GATHERS in the Sig Nu house. let her Sig pin from Michigan MOMENTUM keep her from enjoying the con- We wonder what happened to stant company of BILL, Figi, MARY, Delta ditto ditto, CAR- the beautiful friendship of yes- LUGAR. SON can't decide whether or not teryear between MARY, DG, to go steady with BUD, Purdue KRIEGBAUM and PHIL METS- LOUIS, Sigma Pi, BIANCO fas- ex, SMITH who came to I.U. to GER, SAE. tened his bit of jewelry on WIL- lassie, PICK- be near the object of his affec- EVELYN, Chi 0 babe, JONTZ MA, Forest Hall tion. returned DICK RUSSELL'S ARD. Acacia pin during the summer. BONNIE, ROTC sponsor, BAK- Until one or the other give up ER, one of the kite bearers, still But is Dick broken hearted? KKG, keeps it seems there is to be a triangu- honorably wears the maltese NORMA BAYLOR, between TOM, Kappa herself company these days with lar feud cross of CLAIR, A.TO.. grad, Sig, HASBROOK and GEORGE, RICHARDSON, but dishonor- the diamond JIM ROMEY, Phi now at Harvard, pre- Sigma Pi, KIRSCH over pretty ably courts other friendships (? . Psi grad Kappa JANE THOMPSON. DWIGHT, DU, HANDLEY still sented her. has that Theta complex - this DU lad, BOB FURTH entrusted CARLYLE (Curly) SNYDER, time it's BETSY JOHNSON. his hardware to the care of ROY- Delta Chi pledge, seems to have difficulty in getting his dates in EILEEN, unorganized intellec- LEEN CLARK, Pi Phi, who isn't at the appointed time. The Chi tual, JONES has been going in school this semester. PAINE, O prexy is the latest victim of steady with BRYAN law student, BUS WAD- locked doors. and human. A.T.O. psychologist DLE is back on the campus this CHARLEEN ROMINES, Chi 0 year, but his pin has gone to the CARL ROHLEDER, Delta Chi neatie, has accepted an off-cam- northern part of the state with smoothie, has temporarily for- pus Sigma Nu pin. Looks like a Pi Phi grad, JERRY SMITH, saken the array of I. U. beauty cold winter, Charleen!I who is now teaching school. for a D.G. blonde at an Ohio THE COVER... Guest MORE.... The cover for this month's BORED ... SCANDAL WALK was done exclusively for this Column magazine by Will Danch, cartoonist and gag man for Esquire magazine. Mr. The pay off for dates came 'the By PAUL DAMAI Danch was the guest columnist for the other morning when A.T.O. September issue of BORED WALK and (Radio Critic and ex-Columnist rhinie BOB GASTON met Pi Phi has promised to do other cartoons of Down Beat) frosh, MARY OSBORNE for a during the year for use in this maga- 6:45 a.m. date. What won't zine. The cover represents the famous pledges think of next to get Petty girl with her ever-present tele- OUR FRENZIED around rules? FRATERNITIES phone and is done with apologies to RUTH TAYLOR, Tri Delt honey, George Petty. Say you're a young blade of the '80s, and Beta HUGH McADAMS may * swinging down the lane towards the or may not continue their pre- ON PETTY GIRL campus, in a flutter of excitement over college affair. There are so If there is a girl in all the world seeing your alma mater for the first many boys down here! Who can compare with dark haired time. Hedy, You're a freshman, see. And you're A.O.Pi soph, BETTY PRUITT, It's the girl who rages willing to make friends with your up- and A.T.O. pledge, HAL HEIM- On Esquire's pages perclassmen. But they're colder than ROTH, have been keeping pretty Our dream girl, Betty Petty. the shoulder of that Fort Wayne debu- steady company for the last few tante you tried to date the other night. weeks. Blind dates are some- Her figure as a whole At the merest introductory state- times quite satisfactory, but Is, to say the least, complete ment a sophomore will bite your ten- then again there's RUSSELL, From the golden red tative. . Delta Tau Delta, GILMORE'S Of her shapely head "Please, sir- side to the question. Down to her pedicured feet. ... off at the beginning in a way to Now all this rope is no jive, indicate he doesn't think you have any gate ! I won't detail her figure right to speak to him, he doubts the And plenty more's to be. 'Twould be crude to be specific authenticity of your birthright, and be- All I say lieves implicitly he is a far superior We'll make a date for next Is that in every way being than you are. month It's, to put it mildly, TERRIFIC. You mustn't think of joining a fra- If you'll pay the BORED WALK The softly rounded curves, ternity, yet. Horrors, no! FEE. The luscious hills and valleys To do this you must produce your Hold more charms family tree with each twig intact and For a frat boy's arms pure, win your honors in scholastics, Than a thousand Bali Balis Phi Kappa the football field, and must shine the Tau, says the next chap, There's just one thing wrong with the shoes of seventeen juniors each night has the most modern frat house ex- Petty girl tent, with for 26 weeks with an option to renew boating, bathing and fish- 'Though she's neither too thin nor too next year. ing in the back yard. fat If your sales After proving your metal (gold, silver resistance remains firm But it makes the boys sad or certificates) and mettle you must and your metabolism normal enough And we think it's too bad be real to withstand nice to the frat prez for a period these early rigors, it will That all girls aren't built like that... . find its of 18 weeks. acid test waiting at the col- MAX SCHERER Then you might be put up for vote lege of your choice, when you get there. as an applicant. Banquets will be given in your honor Ah, how different today! by Eta Bita Pi, the supposed girl of BORED WALK Say you're a freshman of the 1940's, your assumed dreams shall be sup- swinging down the groove towards the plied through the courtesy of Beta SCORES.... campus you will call home for the next Theta Pi, cokes and cigarets will be eight semesters. If you live that long. showered upon you by the contact man In the August, 1939, issue of Reader's You will be approached upon the for Alpha Delta Phi. Digest was a paragraph entitled "Kin- very moment of your first public dec- You will learn that Tau Tau Tau is dred Spirits" and a credit line given laration that you intend to attend col- not baby-talk for a crow calling its to Bored Walk, wherein the article was lege. A Delta Chi will recite the ad- mate, but a particularly tenacious guild printed last year. This was the ex- vantages of DC, and thrust his pen in of undergrads doing everything short cerpt: your hand for your signature on a of invoking the Lindbergh Law to in- "A famous biologist, having unsuc- legally-phrased document swearing you duce you to join its membership. cessfully tried to teach a monkey to will, when eligible, pledge yourself to It certainly shall not be very long play ball, decided as a last resort to the "Fraternity of Fraternities. before the more enterprising fraterni- leave the little creature alone in a Satisfaction Or Your Pin Back." ties institute a bank night, or give away room with a ball and bat. He closed The next fellow will give you a sales free dishes with each new key. Take the door and waited a few moments. talk for Sigma Nu, outlining the dis- them home to your mother, she'll know Then, very quietly, he stooped and tinguished membership. These might what to do with it. peered through the keyhole. run from anyone like the left end of You will finally pledge yourself to He found himself staring into an Grant's Rice's fourth all-star team to Alpha Chi Omega just for spite. intent brown eye." the son of John Dillinger. Give us the good old days. -Bored Walk THE Med: "And that habit of talk- The Girl.... ing to yourself-that's nothing GREEN to worry about." In the Angora Sweater Law: "Perhaps not, but I'm such a damn bore.;' FELLOWS She was wearing a flashing smile And -a white angora sweater. The Green-fellows are really nice And though Angora's style, quite a few of them; I shuddered when I met her. guys. I know Breathes there a man with soul maybe you've seen them but haven't so dead, Angora flattered her been introduced. Who never to himself has said, My favorite is John Greenfellow- And made her really luscious, But when she touched my shoulder, "To hell with school, You'll know John when you see him I'll stay in bed." because he is dressed in green and I saw need for Fuller brushes. wears a derby. John is a moralist. His favorite line is "Tsh! Tsh! that was Her eyes invited love * * * naughty. Be a good boy." And passionate embraces, Then there is Timothy Greenfellow. But her sweater stopped advances, I may be mistaken in my reason He is the spokesman for the Green- 'Cause it left such telling traces. But by the stars above, fellows and he never says more than I'd surely love to meet the one word at a time. Each time I hear her laughter, hound, George Greenfellow is easy to recog- I visualize a wedding, If this is puppy love. nize, because he has a cracked eye But I reconsider after, glass. You see, he wears glasses, but he When that sweater starts its shedding. and cracked fell off the bed one night -MAX SCHERER the glass in the right side. * * * Wilbur Greenfellow is a little short Oh, mother, may I go out to Greenfellow and wears knickers. He Director: Now, in this next swim? thinks that he is a golfer and some scene LaMarr will come out Why not, my darling daughter, times he runs up and down your bed dressed in nothing but a hat. You're so damned near naked like it is a golf course. Assistant: But how will it get anyhow Sam Greenfellow is fat and has a by the censors? You'd look better in the water. nose like a potato. If Sam were any Director: Easily. She'll only color but green, his nose would be red. be photographed from the neck * * * You'll like Pete Greenfellow because up. he is a poet at heart. He carries a lute and sometimes he plays it and Stoodent: Let's cut class and reads sad poems about thwarted love. "It won't be wrong now," said go to a movie. A good fellow when you're in a low the coed as she was led to the Stooge: Can't do it, old man, mood. altar. I need the sleep. Harrison Greenfellow is a likeable bird although he will get on your nerves with that constant singing of Wagner's Taunhauser opera. He is a sort of of shrill. tenor-that is he is sort I I Never look ahead for Joe Greenfel- low. No one ever sees Joe, because he is always behind you with a hammer which he swings at every occasion. Joe is around in , the mornings a lot with his hammer. He is good on the Anvil Chorus. You don't have to pay to see the Greenfellows. They come with the Beer. BLACKIE WELLNITZ

** *

Say, Bill, do you remember that girl I used to go around with in college? You mean the one with the skinny legs and the big nose? She used to get sick on beer and have crying jags. Say, do I re- I married her. No, as I was saying, I don't remember her. "It's the Tri Delt house, They're getting in shape for the Prom Queen election." HOOSIER IN MANHATTAN

By DAVE (The Chief) STRAUS sters as "Yokelizers." - The New York while the rug cutters went to work. - Co-writer alum club plans big doings on the Ford- The original Goodman trio, Hampton, of "Pardon My Profanity, Baby" ham-Indiana grid occasion, November Wilson and B. G. had a jamming re- 11. From all advances it should be one union at the affair. -Jack Benny leads Here in the city, New York, the con- of the biggest pigskin happenings along an up-and-coming new band. They formed Hoosier finds routine hepped- the Hudson that particular week-end. filled in one week at the World's Fair up to a certain extent after having -Tickets, a bit about the student book bandshell and were well received. He been content with a basketball tour- rate, are on sale at $2.85 and $3.85. Ban- plays slip horn almost so sweet as Tom ney every annual, an occasional splurge quet the preceeding Friday eve at the Dorsey, if not just as. -For most of of the Jordan or a Friday night tear Emmex House for two-fifty per dish the inevitable fall football tunes we at Chez Gus. Furthermore, Third street and W. Wilkie. Bring your own light- have to thank (or reprimand) one song is a peaceful thoroughfare as compared ning water.. writing pair, Al Lewis and Murray to these Manhattan streets, where the Menscher. Among many, they con- I locals drive with their hearts in Indi- Up swing alley. -Werry, werry cute cocted, "You've Got To Be a Football anapolis. - But I like to ride subways. Rosanne Stevens who last year warbled Hero," "Cross Eyed Kelly," "All Amer- In the heat of August, they are air- at the Jordan, as youse will recall, ican Girl," and for the 1939 season, a conditioned, (the hot way), and reek brought enthusiastic applause and new one on the same stereotyped out- of wrestling room essence, and one hearty huzzahs when she shared vocal line, "The Darling of the Team." - can lose one's self so damn simply. honors with Harriet Hilliard while O. Around these parts, the disc authorities Nelson's band was playing an engage- are recommending the following re- But for a touch of sweet with the ment at the Strand Theater. -The cats cordings as the best of the current sea- stark reality of this sector, the next go beserk at WNEW's Swing Concerts, son: Jack Teagarden's "Undertow," time you visit N.Y., loiter about the Tuesday nights at the Manhattan Ball- Shaw's "I'm Comin' Virginia," Good- 400's on Lexington avenue. That is room. About seven thousand down-beat man's "Jumpin' at the Woodside," where so many of the scrumptious ad- neurotics clapped hands at the first Glenn Miller's "Isle of Golden Dreams," vertising and photographers' models performance while Benny Goodman, Ziggy Elman's "Zaggin With Zig," and have their lair. Beauty aboundeth. - Teddy Wilson, Stuff Smith and their for' sentiment and schmaltz, Kemp's, Now you may refer to hill-billy song- outfits gave. Then seats were discarded "What's New?"

"Streets of Paris" gives you most for your admission along legitimate row. It has everything that the Jordan River Review should have; smart comedy, good music, superb dancing and de- lightful femininity. -Best crack from Bobby Clark, quote, "A rouge is a fellow who has seen better days and would like to see better nights," unquote. - Among the summer barn shows wit-

Winner LIFESAVER Contest Nurse: I think he's regaining consciousness, doctor. He just On campus, Henry walked alone, tried to blow the foam off his His breath made all the "lovelies" groan. medicine. But then he took to Cryst-O-Mints, And now he's treated like a prince. JOHN DANCH

WINS A Box of LIFESAVERS for the Best Line of the Month Send in your GAG-LINE Today. THE BEST ONE EACH MONTH MORAL andEverybody's then. Let breath Life Savers offends sweet- now WILL RECEIVE F R E E en and refresh your breath after A BOX OF LIFE SAVERS eating, drinking, and smoking. nessed we most appreciated the effects the corner to the multi-paper stand on Aren't you going with Miller of Ed Ev Horton in "Springtime for 42nd near Sixth Avenue and you can't anymore? Henry," and Jane Cowl in Coward's get a Naptown rag for less than seven No, he whistles the filthiest "Easy Virtue." cents. songs ! * * * Tough luck tale. -She graduated from dramatic school last year. She She: I want a'lipstick. shopped diligently for a chance with Clerk: What size please? any stock company or Broadway pro- Three rides and a house duction, for hers were plenty of the Zoo Visitor: Where are the She: prime prerequisites; i.e. talent, poise, monkeys? party. voice, beauty, face, shoulders, and so Keeper: They're in the back * * * on down. She plugged on relentlessly making love. through winter and spring. -Came Visitor: Would they come out James, is my wife dressed? August and at last a break, a minor. for some peanuts? No, sir. minor role to start the following week Keeper: Would you? You're fired! at the Maplewood summer theater. Opening night, she was rushed to the hospital with acute appendicitis. And to add insult to injury, while flat on her back in a hospital bed, she received calls from both NBC and the Maurice A* Evans stock outfit on Long Island, to come to work immediately. -Now she has recovered, but the chances have gone to someone who stayed well in the UNIVERSITY STYLE pinch.

Conspicuous is the absence of an In- L diana banner in the New York World's Fair "Hall of Sports." Purdue's is there along with many others, even that of the, St. Louis Browns. Also to be viewed is the coveted Old Oaken Bucket, a white, very formal card standing before it which reads, "Courtesy of Pur- due University. "It would be nice to see that card demolished next season through the courtesy of Indiana. -When the Red Sox were stringing out a half dozen wins over the Yankees earlier in the season, there were so many Boston fans in the Bronx stadium one Saturday afternoon that you would think the bean town no farther than Yonkers. -On the grimy, photo- bedecked wall of Tony Galento's side street pub in Orange, En Jay, is a blow- up fully three feet high showing Louis seated after Two-Ton had whisked the champ's whiskers in the third round of their June fiasco. No photo of the fourth stanza. Coming up, Tony prom- ises, is one of the battered Nova being The correct hat for week-end or dress-up spared a "moiderin" by Ref. Blake. wear. Triple tailored with slightly widened The Queen Mary with her new hide- brim, streamlined crown and bound edge... away grey coating is a ghastly hulk as she rides at the 45th Street pier. And Takes honors for rare good taste! $500 while everyone is trying to discover where it is that the Bremen is hiding, exclusively at they might try Hoboken, just across the river. -The R.O.T.C. boys should ap- preciate their training more than ever now. They say that it's a helluva war, than no war at all. -At the but better FASHIONS FOR MEN out-of-town news stand adjacent to the Times Building on Times Square you THE ONE STOP . . . . MEN'S SHOP may purchase an Indianapolis news- paper for one nickel. But walk around HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A Prof: This examination will be Are you a traveling salesman? WOMAN SCORNED conducted on the honor system. Yes. She lay on the sofa and sobbed Please take seats three apart in Are traveling salesmen as bad convulsively. "Oh, I hate him. I hate alternate rows. as people say they are? him," she moaned to herself. Yes. That same day he repented. He Are you as bad as the rest of knew he had been unfair to the girl, them? so he bundled up tightly and braved Yes. the raging blizzard to go to her. He Cinderella: Godmother, must Why do you sit there so stu- fought his way through the ice and I leave the ball at twelve? pidly and just say, "Yes?" snow and sub-zero weather-and he Godmother: You won't go at apologized. all if you don't stop swearing. At first she was indignant. "Humph! It will be a cold day in January before He: May I kiss you? . . . May I ever kiss you again," she said. * * * I please kiss you? ... Say, are And it was. you deaf? She: No, are you paralyzed? * * * I hear the Board of Trustees is trying to stop necking. Is that so? First thing you Captain: Why didn't you sa- know they'll be trying to make lute me yesterday? the students stop too. Bellhop: Paging Mr. Nied- Private: I didn't see you, sir. spondiavanacikoff. Call for Mr. Captain: Good, I was afraid you Niedspondiavanacikoff. were mad at me. Mr. Niedspondiavanacikoff: Boy! Vot is de initial? Neighbor: Say, do you folks have a bottle opener around * * * Frosh to Junior: What was here? that lady I saw you outwit last Parent: Yeah, but he's away Drunk (To splendidly un- night? at college. iformed bystander) Shay, call me a cab, will ya? Splendidly uniformed bystander: My good man, I am not the doorman. I am a naval officer. Drunk: Awright, then call me a boat. I gotta get home.

* * *

Waiter, I lost a heel at the bar. Mr. Fitzgibbon, Miss?

* * *

And there I was, cast away on a desert island with a lovely woman. What did you do for food? I'll be darned if I can remember. "We pause at work, we pause at play-and we make a pause Coed: I think kissing is child- ish. He: So do I, baby.

* * *

It hardly seems honest and just To decree that all bathing suits must Be honest and shy Yet reformers all cry, We'll cover their stomachs or bust. NO NOOSE IS GOOD NOOSE

The mob in the courtyard of the jailhouse was yelling with joy. In a few minutes a punster would be hung. The state would never have been able to convict him if the punster hadn't thrown up his defense in order to tell the jury that between shots he had asked his victim, "Tell me, if I'm bor- ing you." 1' / 1 And now the end had come. They marched the punster up the steps to the gallows. They adjusted the black cap and fitted the noose snugly around his neck. The warden paused before raising his hand in signal to the ex- ecutioner. "Have you any last word?" he >t asked. "Yes," said the man about to die, "Keep your trap shut!"

c-t- r t: -

Young man: Sir, I want to marry 4 n your daughter. _ V Film Star's Father: Can you divorce her in the style to which she is ac- customed?

"They ordered their minimum in potato chips!"

THE WISEST POLICY

He walked into the sunny office and sat down. "Excuse me," he said to the man behind the desk, "but someone told me you're in the insurance business, and I just wanted to say that I might take out another policy. I've a wife and six kids, and the way I figure it I ought to assure them health and happiness in case anything happened to me. What I'm getting at is.- this-don't you think it would be wise for one to take out another policy for1 about $15,000 even if I have to sell my car and give up all my social ac- tivities. I heard that life insurance is the wisest investment a man can make. All you got to do is give me a good line and I'm ready to sign on the dot- ted fringe." The man behind the desk just shook his head and then pressed a buzzer. A uniformed attendant entered. The man behind the desk spoke. "There's no use . examining him. He's nuts all right! . You better fit him with a double- 7? breasted straight jacket and put him f in a padded cell," "PRONOUNCED. CHUMLEY" moved closer. Sir Reginald cocked his guns and waited. Sir Reginald Cholomondoley-pro- The ominous s o u n d s slithered Just then, another dacoit bounced with a start quickly nounced Chumley-awoke down the hall and disap- into the room. peared. to find himself bathed in cold perspi- "Stop! you fools," he shouted. ration. From the hall, outside his door, "Guess that will hold the bound- The two dacoits whirled and faced came an ominous sound. ers," Sir Reginald the newcomer. He reached for the turkish towel said, climbing back "Sons of dogs," he and gave himself a brisk rubdown. into bed. grated at them. When he glowed a cherry red, he Instantly the omi- "This is the wrong paused, refreshed, and listened. nous sounds w e r e man."

The ominous sound came again. back. "But .. ." one of Sir Reginald paled. Sir Reginald grit- them started in pro. "Gad!" he hissed in horror, "a da; ted his teeth and rip- t e s t. "Quiet," the coit." ped out a resound- Sleadercommanded. Then, he turned over and went to ing oath. He dropped a burn- sleep. "Gadooks!"he ex- ~ ing glance in the di- An hour later, Sir Reginald Cholo- leaping hploded,from rection of his co. mondoley - pronounced Chumley - the bed and throw- / c h or ts. T he r ug awoke with a start to find himself ing the door open. smouldered. again bathed in cold perspiration. As he did, two da- "I say, my good "I say now," he exclaimed irrita- coits bounded into the room and ran man," Sir Reginald cried, rushing for bly, "two baths within the hour is Sir Reginald through with their the water pitcher. "The management overdoing things a trifle." swords. isn't going to fancy having their rug He gave himself another rubdown. Sir Reginald sighed contentedly as scorched." The ominous sound outside the door the cool breeze passed through him. The leader of the dacoits bowed came again. "First breeze I've felt since coming low. "A thousand pardons, Sahib," "Gad!" Sir Reginald hissed. "Two to India," he explained. "Ducedly hot he apologized. "But these fools caused dacoits." country, this." me to lose my temper." He stepped quickly from the bed, 'The dacoits moved forward menac- One of the dacoits stepped forward, gripping two forty-fives in his hands ingly. Sir Reginald retreated before flushing angrily. and clenching an army sabre between them. "Did you not order us to kill the his teeth. "I say now, you men," he said English dog known as Chumley?" "I say, you blooming blighters," he quickly. "Your two to my one isn't ex- "Yes," the leader snapped. "But called out. "Get away from that door actly cricket, you know." this is not the man called Chumley." and let a man sleep, confound you." The dacoits grimaced hate and "Oh. but I am," Sir Reginald said quickly. "The blighter is quite right about that." The dacoit leader stared dumbly at Sir Reginald. "This can not be so," he insisted. Sir Reginald brought out a card. "There," he said, "read for yourself." Slowly the dacoit leader read the printed legend. Then, he smiled. "There has been a slight mistake," he said. He took out a card. "This is the man we had in mind." he said hand- ing it to Sir Reginald. Sir Reginald studied the card. "Hugo Zlprskt," he said slowly. Then, he looked inquiringly at the dacoit leader. "Zlprskt," the dacoit explained with a patient smile, "is also pronounced Chumley." "Deucedly queer people, these In- dians," Sir Reginald yawned as he turned over and went to sleep. " If a man bites a dog - that's not news-it's the "Acme Exterminating Co. at your service." World's Fair. Roscoe Karns, Edgar Kennedy and MHERE THE STUDENTS GO! Lynne Roberts. Jane Withers joins forces with the mad Ritz Brothers in "Pack Up Your Troubles," which is the feature at- traction starting Thursday, Oct. 26. STARTS SATURDAY, Oct. 21 The result of this combination, as you can imagine, is a chaos of comedy. A stellar case supports the uproarious foursome, including Lynn Bari, Joseph Schildkraut, Stanley Fields and Fritz Leiber. Smash hits that you can expect to see at the Princess in the next few *FLICK TIPS* weeks are "Golden Boy," featuring Barbara Stanwyck, William Holden * and Adolphe Menjou; "Hollywood Cav- the saga of the City of Stars Gather round boys and girls for I've alcade," Ameche and Alice Faye; reel news for you in the entertainment with Don Laughton in his greatest pic- field concerning the shows for this Charles ture "Jamaica Inn"; Frank Capra's week at the Princess and the hits we most brilliant picture, "Mr. Smith have in store for you during the re- Goes To Washington," starring James mainder of the month. Stewart and Jean Arthur, besides many Starting Saturday the Princess will others you'll want to see at the Prin- Jascha Teifetz, the world's feature cess. greatest violist, in "They Shall Have Music." Also featured in the excellent * * * cast are Joel McCrea, Andrea Leeds, Billy: Mamma, where did you Walter Brennan, Gene Reynolds and Terry Kilbourne. The story of "They meet Daddy? Shall Have Music" is dramatically told, Mamma: At a dance, darling. brilliantly directed and stirringly acted Billy: Was I there, mamma? by this outstanding cast of players. Mamma: Run out and play, Briefly sketched, the theme of "They darling. Shall Have Music" deals with an im- TUES., WED., Oct. 24 - 25 -Moe Elmo poverished settlement school in the slums. When the school reaches fi- nancial ruin, one of the pupils, played by Gene Reynolds, decides on a dra- Picture a valley in southern matic coup as he tries to lure the great France Heifetz to the school and to persuade A sunny land of sweet romance; the master musician to lend his pat- Between two mountains nestled Thur., Fri., Oct. 26 - 27 ronage. Heifetz plays several of the down THE RITZ BROTHERS world's greatest masterpieces during In a little medieval town. also ac- the course of the film, and he Atop one hill, with aspect grand, JANE WITHERS companies the orchestra. in A noble monastery doth stand; Thursday, Oct. 24, brings your new "Pack Up Your Troubles" little Queen of the Ice, Irene Dare, in A convent crowns the other her latest picture "Everything's On Ice", dome, in a romance fit for the Queen of And down in the valley- T. e EE. Hearts. The supporting cast includes A foundling home.

'The R. L. Cosler Co. Jewelers-Engravers

537 SOUTH WALNUT ST. PHONE 6175 CHARLES COBURN FRANK ALBERTSON Plus "THE ESCAPE" Girl: "Horce was over to my BRIC-A- house last night and just as he started to leave he asked me to BRAC wear his pin, but I had to tell him I couldn't wear it until I Casey's bar was in a dither as the MEET A FIGHTINGG knew him better." regular Saturday evening crowd be- Gal: "But you're wearing it gan pouring into the Barbary Coast now., saloon in San Francisco. The joint was HOOSIER Girl: "Well, you see, he didn't packed with riff-raff from the wharfs leave right then." and liquor flowed like blood and vice versa. The evening was young.

Casey, himself smug and complacent in the commonplace surroundings of his thriving business, occupied his usual pew in the balcony which over- Mr. and Mrs. John Smith are looked the entrance. Below him sat rejoicing over an eight pound Stell, the peroxide-headed cashier. boy, their sixth child, since last Directly across the room from the Saturday. long walnut bar was the maze of rou- -Newton Mentor-Democrat lette tables and gambling lures that at- tracted assorted society matrons, slaughter-house hoodlums and plain clothesmen to Casey's, making the patronage, on the whole, a motley- looking crew. JIM BIRR '38 ALL EAST END 1938 "Ah," he murmured as the It was nearing 1 a.m. and business light went out in the sorority was beginning to pick up. The crowd Drop in and see Big Jim about window across the street, "now was becoming a bit wild and un- I can sleep." managable, but under Casey's watchful your transportation worries and eye, they stayed in hand out of re- rest assured that you will receive spect to the burly bouncers. courteous and efficient service

Casey calmly dug at a molar with a long toothpick. Suddenly, the swinging half-doors swung open. In stepped * DODGES a handsome young hombre of 22 years, " attired in the full-dress arraign of the PLYMOUTHS times, duded out in a top hat. He bel- * DEPENDABLE Buy the lowed a deafening shriek, cayote-like, and waved his hands above his head, USED CARS 100-dollar greenbacks oozing from between his fingers. The crowd reeled RED_BOOK about as one drunk and hushed. "I've just inherited $20,000," he O.A. OIRR MOTOR SALES roared, "AND I'M GONNA BREAK THIS PLACE! !" 833 N. MERIDIAN " A COMPLETE CAMPUS INDIANAPOLIS DIRECTORY Casey still sat on his high pedestal, picking his teeth. He glanced up slowly at the intruder-then turned to Stell, By that we mean - the blond cashier. i Names, Bloomington Address and Home of all Students and Fac- "Give the gentleman one ' of those ulty. little blue chips," he said. "Porter, get me another glass -Bob Meyer of ice water." " Handbook for instant reference about honorary fraternities and "Sorry, suh, but if ah takes organizations on the campus. any mo' ice, dat corpse in de baggage car ain't goin' to keep." r GET WISE She: Hey, you aren't seasick, Buy are you? He: No, but I'd hate to yawn. Mark Anthony: I want to see * * * Cleopatra. Servant: She's in bed with RED BOOK laryngitis. Girls are like good cigars. You can't judge them by the look of Mark Anthony: Damn those their wrappers. Greeks! FELTUS PRINTING COMPANY. INC.. BLOOMINGTON.INDIANA .J v

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