Psychologies.Co.Uk February 2014 £3.90 Uk Edition No
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Special report: If diets don’t work – what does? PSYCHOLOGIES.CO.UK FEBRUARY 2014 £3.90 UK EDITION NO. 101 KATE WINSLET FEBRUARY 2014 FEBRUARY GET “I don’t COSY believe in ● EARLY NIGHTS perfection” ● BOX-SET BLISS ● BOOKS TO BRIGHT & CURL UP WITH BEAUTIFUL Skin tips that work “I’m fine, really” LOVE & SEX Heal your inner martyr CREATE YOUR OWN GUIDE 20-PAGE SPECIAL PSYCHOLOGIES.CO.UK Flourish in 2014 GET READY: WRITE YOUR MONTHLY ACTION PLAN TAKE COURAGE: HOW TO BE TRULY AUTHENTIC + TEST: NOT ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS? FIND OUT WHY DAVID ASHTON HANDMADE IN LONDON CONTENTS FEBRUARY 2014 REGULARS 7 EDITOR’S LETTER 8 LETTERS 9 I’D LIKE TO THANK… 11 THE FIX 132 STOCKISTS 138 SALLY BRAMPTON is tired of hearing ‘must’, Cover: Kate Winslet by Carolyn and ‘should’ and ‘ought’ Cole / Los Angeles Times / Contour 18 THE BIG CONVERSATION Kate Winslet “It’s funny, this notion that when you become a famous person you stop doing normal things” 24 DOSSIER FEATURES Flourish! 46 BEST FRIENDS FOREVER? 26 YOUR 12-POINT ACTION PLAN Clem Felix says it’s high time Author Cheryl Rickman offers an easy SUBSCRIBE to take your friendships out of month-by-month guide to creating the playground real change in your life, while boosting AND RECEIVE your sense of wellbeing THIS FREE GIFT 50 WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER Bibi Lynch on how wise words 34 “I HAVE A DREAM” from other women helped her Can you really make your childhood change her perspective dreams happen as an adult? Lawyer 54 BOXING CLEVER Rosalynn Try-Hane is willing to give it Why watching a box set is ideal a go as a writer this year for bonding, life lessons and 38 THE COURAGE CATALYST winter feelgood factor When you stop worrying about what 58 CELEBRATE EVERY MOMENT other people think, it’s a lot easier to When Lucy Murphy’s third be brave. But sometimes it takes a baby was born at just 26 weeks major event to make us realise this, it took a team of 70 and a lot of writes Keris Stainton love for him to survive 40 TEST: ARE YOU STANDING IN 62 ARE YOU AN ATTENTION YOUR OWN WAY? See page 44 DEFLECTOR? We all feel excited about our dreams for this month’s Mustn’t grumble, says a weary and plans setting out – but how do ILLUSTRATION: LULU subscriptions offer Rin Hamburgh… but why not? you keep the momentum going? FEBRUARY 2014 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE 3 CONTENTS FEBRUARY 2014 67 THE LIFE LAB 69 SPECIAL REPORT: WHAT’S EATING YOU? None of us are immune to comfort eating, yet there are myriad reasons why we do it. Amerley Ollennu gets to grips with an emotional issue 76 MIND EXPERIMENT Why imagining your life without its blessings 91 THE BOOST will make you more grateful for what you have 93 BEAUTY NOTES 78 MARY FENWICK Amerley Ollennu is dealing with a beauty SOS Being able to honestly tell someone how you are feeling is the best medicine 94 SEE THE LIGHT Who doesn’t want a naturally radiant, glowing 81 LOVE EXPERIMENT complexion? Catherine Turner is on the case This month Sarah Abell invites you to create your own sex guide 100 BEYOND THE BEAUTY COUNTER Why your favourite beauty brands are going 82 ESTHER PEREL boutique What to do when power struggles in the bedroom lead to a sexual stalemate 103 POSITIVE BEAUTY Jo Fairley tackles a sensitive subject and aims 85 WORK EXPERIMENT to create calm Oliver Burkeman offers some tips on battling a never-ending tide of email 104 WELLBEING NOTES Catherine Turner explains how to get your new 86 ILONA BONIWELL year off to a more energetic start Our family expert on the realities of having a baby late or after a gap of several years 106 THE BIG SLEEP We know the benefits of good sleep, but, Sally 88 EVENTS Brown asks, how do we ensure it happens? Join author Claudia Hammond for a live workshop on managing time, plus three 110 mY HOME School of Life experts have advice on how Artist Dora Dewsbery tells us why she likes to to negotiate some modern-day challenges be beside the seaside 114 LIVING DITION E Take shelter and hibernate with cosy furnishings T U L aub 120 mAIN FOOD L Add some depth and flavour to winter meals B LIS/ A ND 125 FOOD NEWS A Time for a bit of reinvention, says Rosie Ifould P L UE N A 126 mAIN TRAVEL Lorna V dives into a brave new adventure PH: M ra 131 TRAVEL 78 Mary Fenwick 82 Esther Perel 86 Ilona Boniwell Savouring the tastes of San Sebastián PHOTOG 4 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 2014 Contributors Meet three of the people who have taken part in this issue of Psychologies Rin Hamburgh Journalist As a journalist who specialises in psychology and wellbeing with a special interest in mental and emotional wellbeing, Rin Hamburgh considered herself pretty self-aware. Still, sometimes it takes someone else to see what’s really going on with us and that’s what happened when, over a long cup of co ee and much denial, a good friend noticed and helped to draw out a little problem of Rin’s – ‘I realised I wasn’t being honest with myself about the things I was going through, nor was I being honest with the people closest to me. As soon as I opened up, life improved almost immediately.’ Read more about her discovery, and her Diana Athill self-diagnosis of herself as part of a Lulu Author quiet but growing gang of ‘attention Illustrator defl ectors’, on page 62. ‘When I look back at my life, now that I am ‘I’ve learned a lot about life, and work, 95, I can truly say that I see it as a happy from looking at fl owers,’ comments one.’ So begins acclaimed author and Lulu, a freelance illustrator based editor Diana Athill’s very personal letter in Germany who combines her in our ‘Next Chapter’ feature on page 50. hand-drawn fl oral motifs with some We asked her to look back and see if her very modern computer technology experiences as a working woman who to create stunning visuals. She was didn’t take the then traditional route of lucky enough to grow up surrounded marriage and babies could help journalist by blooms – her mother was a fl orist Bibi Lynch in her quest to fi gure out what and the family lived above the shop to do with the next stage of her life. Diana – and after working in both San was born in 1917 and worked for the BBC Francisco and Switzerland Lulu now during the war, then for almost fi ve lives and works in Berlin. You can see decades as an editor at publishing house from much of her work where she got Andre Deutsch. She later won the Costa some of her earliest inspiration, and Biography Award for her memoir Somewhere the fl ow in her illustrations for us Towards The End, a refl ection on old age. depicts to perfection the exciting, Her writing is a breath of fresh air, an imaginative plans for self-growth ongoing source of good sense and a envisioned in this month’s ‘Flourish’ testament to her spirit, summed up in this dossier. Turn to page 24 and get ready line from another memoir, Stet, ‘In spite of to wake up, smell the compost and losing a considerable part of my youth to plant some seeds of your own. If you heartbreak, I wake up every morning liking begin right now, you can look forward being here’. Long may you be here, Diana. to roses in May… DIANA ATHILL PHOTOGRAPH: REX PHOTOGRAPH: ATHILL DIANA 6 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 2014 EDITOR’S LETTER Slowly but surely When you look up the word ‘fl ourish’ in the dictionary, it is defi ned as doing well, blossoming or succeeding. But for me, fl ourishing isn’t about success so much as growth. And, unfortunately, growth is not always easy. (They don’t call them growing pains for nothing.) I love the quote from French-born American author Anaïs Nin: ‘And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.’ If 2013 wasn’t the best of years for you, be comforted by the fact that pain can be a great motivator! But I believe that in order to grow and fl ourish, you have to be willing to be brave and take a risk. That’s why I love Keris Stainton’s piece about bravery (page 38) in our dossier this month. ‘Courage is not something you have,’ she says. ‘It’s something you choose.’ Choice is a theme we explore throughout the issue; everything from the friends we choose to surround ourselves with (see Clem Felix’s piece Best friends forever? on page 46) to the food we choose to put into our mouths (page 69). In the post-Christmas dieting-to-lose-fi ve-stone-in-fi ve-minutes madness, we’ve focused our special report this month on comfort eating and ask how we can make 2014 the year we choose to create a healthy relationship with food. We’re not great believers in quick fi xes. (We would be if they worked.) That’s why we’ve asked Amerley Ollennu, our beauty and wellbeing editor, to chart her attempts to establish that healthy relationship over the coming year in her new Brain Food column.