Producer - Writer by Marsha Naify Cover Photo Credits: ILDK Media

1 DR. MAYA ANGELOU INDIGO GIRLS CARIBBEAN EQUALITY & LEADERSHIP CRUISE FEBRUARY 1-8, 2014 FORT LAUDERDALE • GRAND TURK • SAN JUAN • ST. THOMAS/ST. JOHN • HALF MOON CAY • FORT LAUDERDALE

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DR. MAYA ANGELOU INDIGO GIRLS CARIBBEAN EQUALITY & LEADERSHIP CRUISE FEBRUARY 1-8, 2014 FORT LAUDERDALE • GRAND TURK • SAN JUAN • ST. THOMAS/ST. JOHN • HALF MOON CAY • FORT LAUDERDALE

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3 October 2013 Features

14 Theorhetorically Speaking By Nikki McCauley 16 Out in the World CON By Heather Cassell

24 Alcoholism, The Thinking Disease By G-O Digillio TENTS 30 Transgender By Chris Angel Murphy 30 Living Out Inside LN By Sally Sheklow 31 Positive Reflections By Dian Katz, MS 24 BOOKS 25 LIFE COACH’S CORNER 38 Words That Make Sense 25 QUEERLY QUESTIONING By Toni Hart 26 LOLs 28 MOVIES EYE C 29 MUSIC Lifestyles 34 POETRY 33 HOT SPOTS 12 Politically Speaking 34 COMMUNITY ACCESS By Donna Wade 35 THE WEEKENDER 35 TRAVEL 13 Humanity Here By Karen Williams 37 FEMASTROLOGY 18 HERstyle By Christin & Ashley Kelly-Brown 32 Spelling Out The Acronyms By Nat Burns

8-11 Cover Story A CONVERSATION WITH MICHELLE BONILLA: Actor - Producer - Writer By Marsha Naify Cover Photo Credits: ILDK Media

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com CHANGE OF PACE

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5 California’s Official Dance Form Celebrates 25 Years LESBIAN NEWS

Publisher, Editor in Chief Ella Matthes • Executive Editors  Zoe Edgerton and Gladi Adams, PhD • Arts & Culture Editor Terry DeCrescenzo  • Entertainment Editor Dian Katz •  Film Editor John Esther •  International Editor Heather Cassell • Join an all-inclusive LGBTQ* square dance club! Music Editor Nat Burns High Energy Dancing! Everyone Welcome! • Newsbytes Singles - Couples - Young or Not-So-Young! Gillian Kelly

NOT your Parent’s or Grandparent’s Dancing! Sports Editor Anne Winchester Casual Dress! Modern Upbeat Music! • Travel Editor Barbara Horngren • San Fernando & San Gabriel Valley Foothills Columnists and Contributors: Bloomin’ Squares • (818) 945-1189 • www.bloominsquares.org Gigi Acevedo, Victoria Bearden, Heather Cassell, Toni Hart, Morag Hillsinger, Lillian Jensen, Dian Katz, Michele Khordoc, Santa Ana / Orange County Kelly Lynch, Nikki McCauley, Carl Matthes, Chris Angel Murrphy, Kristi Pallino, Juno Parrenas, PhD, Sally Sheklow, Golden State Squares • (714) 277-0959 • www.goldenstatesquares.org Amanda Vallo, Donna Wade • Long Beach Area Executive Vice President Stacy Cantrell Shoreline Squares • (714) 573-8098 • www.shorelinesquares.com • Creative Director West Hollywood / Los Angeles Karen Jones

Tinseltown Squares • (818) 999-0852 • www.iagsdc.com/tts • Circulation and Distribution (310) 548-9888 • Board Members  Gladi Adams, PhD, Sherri Davison, Carl Matthes, Lee Werbel • LESBIAN NEWS P.O. Box 55 Torrance, CA 90507 ho knew the official dance of stockings and heels. Men were expected to www.LesbianNews.com California was Square Dancing? wear long sleeve shirts and slacks even if • For Advertising or Print Subscriptions, contact: Who knew the LGBTQ* community there was no air conditioning and temperatures (310) 548-9888 W (800) 458-9888 would take it to the next level? were in the 90’s or above. Needless to say, or [email protected] [email protected] the LGBTQ* clubs have no dress codes and online at LesbianNews.com • LGBTQ* square dancing isn’t for the faint encourage comfort and fun over all else. National Advertising Representative hearted. Our community has raised the bar Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 again. Generally the LGBTQ* clubs pride themselves • Editorial: on turning out super competent fun dancers. Administration: (310) 548-9888 In the beginning men were expected to dance And the flourishes or styling is far more Fax: (310) 548-9588 only the man position leaving very little energetic than straight counter parts. LN Editor E-mail: [email protected] latitude for “gay” variations. Even today many “straight” oriented clubs won’t allow Consumer Reports says square dancing is Lesbian News (ISSN 0739-1803) is published monthly by LN men to dance the ladies position, even though good for the body and the mind. I understand Publishing, Inc. Contributions of news tips, stories, fiction and photographs are welcome. All submissions become property of they have become tolerant of women dancing there was a study which said learning to square Lesbian News and cannot be returned. the man’s position. Needless to say this isn’t dance helps detour the onset of dementia. I sure We reserve the right to refuse any advertising that we deem to be sexually exploitive or offensive. Publication of the name an issue in LGBTQ* square dancing clubs. hope so for my sake. or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be construed as any indication of the Everyone dances the position they choose, and sexual orientation of such person or organization. Opinions many of us are “Bi-Danceual” meaning we are International Association of Gay Square Dance expressed in Lesbian News are not necessarily those of the Publisher or the Editor in Chief. competent dancing both positions. Clubs holds a convention each year. This year Copyright © Lesbian News, 2013. was the 30th with record breaking attendance. Magazine and/or its contents may not be sold or reproduced in any form whatsoever without the expressed legal consent of Another silly square dance phenomenon was the copyright owner. the old fashioned funny dress codes. Women Find a club near you: IAGSDC.org The Lesbian News logo and “Lesbians on Location” are registered trademarks of Lesbian News. were expected to wear skirts with crinolines, Jinx Beers Deborah Bergman Founder and Publisher Publisher 1975-1989 1989-1994

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com 7 A CONVERSATION WITH

MICHELLEActor - Producer - Writer BONILLA

by Marsha Naify By Nat Burns Photo Credits: ILDK Media

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com ichelle Bonilla is the most successful gay Latina actress premiered at OutFest in Los Angeles. She loved it. in Hollywood today. She has added to her credits by also Mbecoming a producer and writer as well. Well known in the LN: I just saw the film, and now you can get it on Amazon. Were you gay community for her award winning short film “Slip Away”, which up front with your parents about your lifestyle? I understand the played the film festival circuit in 2011, Michelle has continued to push film was based on what actually happened to you during your first the envelope. Last year she co-created the web comedy series “Failing gay relationship. And you are still gay? Upwards” and in November she will make her debut as Alejandra Garcia in the video game “Dead Rising 3” on the X Box platform. Michelle also MB: (laughing) Yes, it was about my first gay relationship, probably in has a recurring role on the “Bold and the Beautiful” soap opera which my mid, latter 20’s. When I got into the relationship with my ex, I realized can be seen weekdays on CBS. - Oh! This is what everybody is talking about! I didn’t really understand what all the hoopla about love was all about until that relationship. One of Michelle’s most ambitious projects was the 2011 short “Slip LN: Did you feel in that relationship Away”, which was an autobiographical that not only did you fall in love with film about her first gay relationship. a woman but that you were gay? The film addressed issues of addiction, love and self discovery. It played at MB: Yep. I had a wonderful boyfriend both gay and straight film festivals before, that I loved but I wasn’t in love in 2011, and won the Bronze Palm with him. But getting into that first Award at the Mexico International relationship with a women, it was... Film Festival and was selected as this is what love is about! the Best Dramatic Short for the Fort Worth Gay & Lesbian International LN: In Slip Away, you play the woman that you met and fell in love An ALMA (American Latino Media with and actress Lauren Birriel Arts) award winner for her portrayal plays you in the movie. Why did you in the PBS series “Seeing Through decide to do that? Walls”, Michelle is also well known for her recurring role on ER for 12 MB: Me playing myself would have seasons as Harms, the paramedic. Her been boring. I wanted the challenge prolific list of television acting credits of playing the multi-layered character also included recurring roles on “Dr. and figuring this person out. What was Quinn Medicine Woman”, “Saving that person thinking and not having a Grace”, “24” and “The Profiler”. judgment about it. I wanted to delve Her various movie roles included into the character of this alcoholic, this “Dunston Checks In”, “The Rich addict, this person that I had tried to Man’s Wife” and “Sexual Life”. love.

LN: Probably your most famous LN: Viewing the film and it is only acting role was as the paramedic 21 minutes long, I really wanted to Christine Harms on ER, the most see more of the characters. I almost popular show of its era. Viewers wish it had been a 90 minute film. I were really sad to see that show end. really wanted to know more about the characters. MB: Yes, I was very blessed to be on that show; it was a great crew to MB: You are not the first person to say work with. It was great. Everyone has moved on to great things but that you would have really loved to have had this be a 90 minute film. But that certainly was one of the best TV shows. Everything worked like I wanted to challenge the idea and the concept of short films. It was a lot clockwork on that show, in terms of shooting sequences; everyone was to put in there in 21 minutes but it is a short film. And I wanted to explore such a professional. It was like a ballet. that as a filmmaker. I wanted it to be powerful and short. The actual relationship lasted only a year. I didn’t want to linger on this for two LN: Tell me a little bit about yourself. You live in Los Angeles now hours. I think the portrayal of me in the film is very accurate. I really love and you grew up there as well. You decided at a very young age love. And when I did love in that relationship it was huge for me. Not that you wanted to be an actress and you studied voice, music and only do you have the dynamic of it being a first lesbian relationship and dance growing up. I understand you studied acting at Cal State then you have the insurmountable odds of it being with an addict and an Northridge. Do your parents still live in L.A. and how do they feel alcoholic. As a filmmaker, that is how I lived it - fast, powerful, and mind about your career and that fact that you are gay? Did they see your blowing. It was quick. How can I do that with regard to filmmaking? A film “Slip Away”? lot of these relationships have been done in film, in an hour and a half and the audience is asking why isn’t this person leaving? You are left MB: Yes, my parents still live in Los Angeles. Oh yes, they did see with those questions anyway after 90 minutes. If people are going to be Slip Away. My Mom definitely did; she was at the screening when it left with questions, I would rather have it happen in 20 minutes than 90. Photo Credits: ILDK Media 9 As much as I was left with so many questions after that relationship, We had amazing people on our crew but that costs money. I really love I wanted the audience to be left with questions as well. Wen I was in that people can go on Amazon and watch “Slip Away” for a small fee or Provincetown, I had so many people come up to me after the screening if they want to buy it, they can go on line and do that. We have sold a lot and say “I want to thank you for this. Because after seeing it, I think I of the DVD’s overseas. I will never forget I had one woman contact me have something very similar going on.” This woman was in tears almost, from India and she talked to me about coming out in general and being because the subject is not even broached upon in certain areas. The a lesbian to the point of... they can kill you in some countries for being shame that comes with being a really smart woman when this happens gay. The fear she had and can you please send it to this address. How and something was triggered in her. And that was the most powerful heartbreaking is that but the fact that she can get the film - that is huge for me. I tried to create outlets so people could get the film overseas and see the story. As a producer and a creator, I am currently working on a pilot that I am writing and starring in but now I am considering making a series for the Internet rather than television. I think that is the way of the future. The platform of being on line is the way to go now and there is more freedom.

LN: Which do you enjoy more acting, producing or writing?

MB: I enjoy acting more. It’s what I have been trained to do. it’s who I am and my love for the craft grows deeper and deeper every day.

LN: Of all the projects that you have been involved in, what are you most proud of? What do you think has been your greatest

thing that I could have ever done as a filmmaker. To have someone go, wow, I think that is happening to me. I didn’t need to spell it out in an hour and a half - I needed to just bring up the questions. I wrote this out of a necessity. The idea of this addiction winning out or being more powerful. A lot of people love it and a lot of people say “why isn’t this a film?” This is a universal story. This film has screened at a number of international straight film festivals and men have come up said yes - isn’t that what art is about? This isn’t just a love story. I wanted to show that women can make better choices, that the human spirit can find a better choice, regardless of your sexual orientation. I am really proud of this film. The trailer has been viewed over a million times on YouTube. Amazon sales and on line sales have been great. A lot of people have said make this into a feature and that is still open. But I love it in the form that it took.

LN: Tell us about your current creative project - the web series “Failing Upwards”, that you made with co-creator Mike Crabtree.

MB: I really wanted to do a comedy series. We thought it would be really funny if we got a group of friends sitting around the table filling out their unemployment applications, with these odd jobs coming about every episode. The cast is multicultural and very diverse. We wanted to push the envelope and play with it. As a producer, I tried to use as many Guild members as possible, with regards to SAG/AFTRA and I am a very pro union person. We created a season of content that used union members across the board. Even now, people who have won awards for their web series - they weren’t union. Both Mike and I felt it was important to get as many union people in as possible.

It’s kind of like the wild, wild west in regards to web series. It has become a very powerful platform; take a look at Netflix and what they are doing for series. Those are people with tremendous amounts of money and backing but here we are at the grass roots level pushing this forward. We are hoping to have a season two but we will need a lot of support.

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com accomplishment in your career? you are lucky to be exactly what the industry wants, you will not have a problem. But you must do it for the love of the craft because there will MB: I have to say that my involvement with the incredible John Wells come a time when you will not work as much. It is heartbreaking. Your on “ER” is one of the best shows I have ever worked on. The entire soul will ache. You will question yourself and your choices. However, cast and crew were one big happy family and the writing was superb. when you immerse yourself in scene, you will once again realize why My greatest accomplishment in my career is that I am still out there: you do this. You do it because you love living truthfully, under imaginary auditioning, working and continuing circumstances and bringing words to break through stereotypes in my to life. I cannot emphasize the career. I love-love-love that I am importance of being in a class, finally starting to play detectives and working on your own show or lawyers, that have NO accents but are working on a play. You must accomplished career women. I look continue to know, at your core level, forward to playing more of them. that you are talented and have gone to those places where your work is LN: What other acting projects are beautiful. And at your gut, you know you working on right now? that THIS is why you are here... to elevate the words, the ideas and MB: I am recurring on the Bold and the the very essence of your being to Beautiful right now as Katie’s divorce this thing we call “acting”. THIS is attorney. I applaud the producers for what will propel you to keep going. hiring a Latina divorce attorney and I THIS is what will keep you up when don’t have an accent or a riddled past. you are down. THIS is what will fill I get to wear my Calvin Klein power your spirit when you think you have suit and be a positive character. There nothing left. are other irons in the fire but I can’t talk about any of them yet. However LN: Are you involved in politics at in November, there is a new video all, with regards to the gay rights game coming out called Dead Rising 3, movement? which is hugely popular. I play a new character: Alejandra Garcia. I have MB: I am very proud of what has done a lot of voice overs and video happened recently with DOMA and games in the past. This comes out in Prop 8 being overturned. I support November on the X Box platform. those causes wholeheartedly and support HRC (the Human Rights LN: A lot of people are trying to Campaign). break into the industry either as actors, writers or filmmakers - what LN: Do you have any final advice do you have for them? thoughts for our readers?

MB: This is for any creator - but MB: Well, I am an actor first and because I am an actor first, I will speak then a creator. I have been in this to my fellow actors. I say, if you really want to do this, prepare to do this business over 20 years. It’s about longevity and keeping your eyes on the for a long time. Longevity, persistence and resilience is a requirement. If prize. Just recently, my friend Diana Nyad completed something no one else in the world has done and I am so proud of her. To be in this business, the mighty shall survive and I love what I do for a living. Do I have my series yet? No. Am I still in the game? Yes. And I will continue to be in the game. It’s what I love to do. I am Latina - I am gay - and I hope to be able to continue to do what I love. For your readers: be persistent, be vigilant and remember your goal. I am honored that the LN wants me to be on their cover for the third time. I will continue to push the envelope and be the artist that I am.

“Slip Away” is available on Amazon Instant Video; it costs just $1.99 for a 7 day viewing period that you can access via your iPad, Kindle or other device. The BLU RAY DVD is available for $14.99 either at Amazon, www.slipawaythemovie.com or www.soulartsproductions. com - it is well worth it. “Failing Upwards” season one consists of 6 episodes, 5-7 minutes each, available now via the internet. Catch it at www.failingupwardstheseries.com. For more information on Michelle Bonilla, go to www.michellecbonilla.com.

11 Politically speaking Will We Never Learn? War is not the answer! | By Donna Wade ur “leaders” have got to stop pretending they are the world’s super action, then rely on voters’ usual selective amnesia come election time. cops, sending in SEAL Teams and drones allegedly to defend Otruth, justice and the American way, while they approve tactics, In response to growing grassroots uproar, the President did an about face strategies and policies domestically and abroad that mock those principles. and decided he’d present his case to Congress before taking action. And it’s a good thing, too, since Congress is the only body granted war powers As I write this, our President is contemplating a retaliatory military strike under our Constitution. George Bush got away without such authority on against Syria’s President Assad because he is “certain” the Syrian dictator Iraq but a majority of Congress supported him; if the current president used chemical weapons to kill over 1300 innocent civilians as they slept acts without it, you can bet the Republican majority in the House will near Damascus, Syria’s capital. President Obama believes he needs to hustle back from vacation within hours to write articles of impeachment send a message to the Syrian government that use of weapons of mass and immediately begin proceedings if the intervention goes awry. destruction on your own people is a violation of the Geneva Conventions and will not be tolerated and he wants it sent without having to put any It’d be a rather embarrassing presidential legacy, don’t you think? To have boots on the ground. We’re now positioning six naval ships with cruise won the Nobel Peace Prize at the beginning of your administration and be missiles off Syria’s coast. Russia is sending ships to counter ours. impeached for starting an illegal war at the end of it? It’s much better to first make accomplices of those who would judge you if your strategy fails. The evidence that has the President so convinced reportedly came from a phone call intercepted by Israeli intelligence linking Assad’s administration But if taking action is so urgent, why wait until the congressional hiatus to the attack. Supplemental intelligence reportedly came from the Saudis. ends on Sept. 9? The same people in the United States who lied us into a war by cooking the intelligence on Iraq are now beating the drum for unilateral action, with And what will “victory” look like? Assad dead and hundreds of rebel the same corporate news sources fluffing the American psyche to prepare groups fighting for power with all the collateral damage that accompanies us for another Middle Eastern misadventure in a country where hundreds such battles? Influential members of Assad’s political party are reportedly of rebel groups, backed by an assortment of conflicting neighboring state slowly withdrawing support for his administration but won’t these same and ethnic interests, are engaged in another flare up of a protracted civil people unite around him if the US attacks? war. I’m certainly not condoning the callous slaughter of innocents. Over The President decided to act before the weapons inspectors dispatched by 100,000 have already been killed, most at the hands of Assad’s military, the United Nations had finished their on-site investigation and so convinced in the current installment of Syria’s seemingly endless civil war. Millions is he of Assad’s guilt that he chose not to bring it before the U.N. Security more have been displaced. Council for a resolution authorizing military force, because Russia and China would surely veto any military action against an ally. Syria hosts If the evidence against Assad is so convincing, it should be presented to a Russian naval base and Russia has been providing arms to Assad while the International Criminal Court to obtain an indictment for war crimes. the United States arms rebel groups. In a wild twist on the theory that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” some of our weapons even find their Any action we take will cost innocent lives, recruit more terrorists and way into the hands of rebels affiliated with al Qaeda. Go figure. turn Syria into an even bigger powder keg in an unstable region. Our constitutional law professor President would do well to operate within the As Yogi Berra once claimed, it’s “Deja vu all over again!” law he swore to uphold and resist putting the match to the gasoline.

The British Parliament had the good sense this time to wait until after the If he does, he should get used to feeling the same scorn and ridicule so weapons inspectors’ report before considering intervention. One account deservedly heaped on his predecessor. of the attack by a former AP and NPR reporter suggests that the sarin release was accidental, the result of a group of rebels, who didn’t know Perhaps one day we’ll learn that war solves nothing, that it only pads the what they had, mishandling chemical weapons provided by the Saudi pockets of those who build the weapons and other means to fight it. But I government. doubt it. As long as there are fortunes to be made, there will be war.

Unilateral military action in Syria benefits no one but the military- Profiting from America’s wars used to be a crime. Now it’s just another industrial-national-security-fossil-fuel-complex and the banks that serve accepted revenue stream for our corporate “citizens,” for whom war is the it, aka the fear mongers and war profiteers. With the best lobbyists and only tolerable form of economic stimulus. influential former government and military officials money can buy, not to mention loads of campaign cash to throw around to buy even more Maybe it’s just me, but that seems more treasonous than patriotic. Call, influence, especially after the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision, write, protest! they have more political clout than we mere citizens who don’t want war. In a non-election year, Congress and our lame duck President can freely [email protected] serve this constituency, despite 60% of Americans opposing military

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center presents

THE 11TH ANNUAL LESBIAN HEALTH CONFERENCE

Saturday, October 26 • 9 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Featuring a full day of FREE workshops just for women who love women.

L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center • The Village at Ed Gould Plaza 1125 N. McCadden Place • Los Angeles, CA 90038 HUMANITY HERE Come Out! | By Karen Williams

ome out, come out, wherever you are! How own well-being first. After attending the one and only I believe that “coming out” is a gift that you give to many times have we heard folks who are already meeting of a national conference devoted to black worthy recipients. If that recipient is your employer so Cout telling others to “come out” and to be proud? women that was held in New York City in 1973 -- and that you can take advantage of domestic partnership or Choosing to come out about your sexuality and private meeting several black lesbians -- I gained the courage health insurance benefits offered at your job, then it is life must be seen as a worthy and worthwhile venture, to take my partner into my trust, although it meant the worthwhile for you to do so. If the confidante is closer particularly if you view yourself as a private person, dissolution of the union. Somehow I intuitively knew to home, you may find that the bridge of authenticity otherwise you will be hesitant to undertake the project. that for me to be comfortable with my decision -- to brings you closer together. Coming out to parents, come out as a lesbian -- I would need to generate peace children, mates, friends, relatives, and colleagues offers It may also be that you decide to come out to make it within myself first about the decision. them the opportunity to be more authentic in their own more comfortable for you to be authentic and true to lives, and to examine their beliefs. They may even yourself. I certainly had that experience. I thought that Our society tends to be so externally focused that we learn to embrace and even encourage difference. it would be too difficult to be one way open and honest can forget that the most important person is YOU! in one situation and another way in another place and As meaningful and significant as it is to be a part of a October is NATIONAL COMING OUT MONTH! time. I simply knew I would not be able to carry off the movement or a community, the individual also matters. This is the time for all of us to take a look at our long- charade without doing psychic and emotional damage There may be times when the only person you can held beliefs, about ourselves, others, and the world in to myself. truly depend on is YOU! Although once you make which we live together. Come out, come out wherever peace with your decision to come out and to be proud you are and help others do the same. After all, this is When I realized that I not only loved women but also about it, you will gain the love and respect of many OUR world... Let’s enjoy it to the fullest. wanted to make them my primary preference, I did a others. Some of those people may become part of great deal of soul searching before I committed to full your friendship support system, spurring you on when [email protected] disclosure. As this was in the early seventies and in you hit rough patches and helping you to savor your the midst of a marriage, I prayed long and hard for my victories. 13 Theorhetically Speaking Falling Sky | By Nikki McCauley

alling to his knees blood streaming from his mouth. Inside he is enraged-and the look in her eyes – her concern makes him shift realizing he couldn’t keep her safe… he loves her as he fills with rage…. FDisoriented in and out of consciousness Turn the hours- turn the page- turn the decisions- different choices made- do Watching from a distance his body falling from the collision, I drive and deal with traffic and parking? Did we need a late night snack after an evening of dining? Should I? Could I? Did I? Of fist kissing his lip… CONTEMPLATIVE states Senseless violence In times of trouble – in times of testing is there a plan in place or will you Where are the policemen- civil servants- recipients of my tax dollars spent function out of pressure - a forced to response- emotions- Ex or past - motion- Why are you watching – cell phones recording- horrific happening familiar places- strong connection

You tube uploading the unexpected ending of an extraordinary evening with Will you consider the consequences? Will patience prevail or recklessness friends… wills you be slow to speak- will you search the situation- will you examine the conditions? Will you humble yourself and listen to the Questions ? Minding his business and the company of his female companion, lover, fiancé and friend - they stop to enjoy the truffle burgers on a downtown corner in a Questions line with few patrons- In times of sickness will you cry and ask- why me? Or will you search the Then assailants, looking for occasion, mark the couple their target and a simple internet and seek successful treatments? Alternative physicians and 2nd comment of accommodation- a little space please- translates to offensive and opinions—Who is your person? Who is capable of comforting you- capable blunt force trauma, leaves one man under the barrage of innocence lost- faith of carrying you in mankind to remain sensible and calm- to allow bygones to be bygones Should you legs give way- should your heart grow weak and faint? Should Slip away manically, as he stumbles to his feet enraged and embarrassed by you experience a sudden layoff and there is no six month to a year of savings the unsolicited attack- ripping his skin a frenzied feeding, shark biting-- - and your mortgage has already been refied - due to your partners recent pay cut trying to fulfill her dreams in the land of - magic stick? Magic moments- Dizzied, the sounds of sirens sound in the distance nearing- the fist stop flying mountain- extreme percentages and in your opinion she’s just not that good? and the assailants start fleeing- leaving him shocked and bleeding Do you dance the night away and wake up in the arms of sunshine? Do you The questions - the answers - who cares- there is no one to answer- pissed off curse the day and drink spirits saturating your kidneys and drifting in altered and angry- no one could give a description - his fist - pounding from beating states? Do you seize the moment of truth or get a second job? off the pavement What choices produce - what fate can’t decide! “Let’s go home babe”- Silence- head splitting- headache- disillusionment

Embarrassed and ashamed he rehearses the heckles and laughter and the [email protected] commentary of the assholes calling him names-

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For more information, please contact [email protected] www.kjonesy.com

15 OUT IN THE WORLD Obama and Cameron address LGBT rights with Putin

| By Heather Cassell

Photo Caption: Elena Kostyuchenko, an out lesbian journalist for Novaya Gazeta who threatened to “out” closeted Russian authorities, being escorted by Russian police at an LGBT rights demonstration. Photo Credit: Courtesy of Elena Kostyuchenko

President Barack Obama and U.K. Prime picture of the state of Russian society and not just look at it legalized violence against LGBT people, because these Minister David Cameron both addressed from one angle.” groups of hooligans justify their actions with these laws,” U.S.their concerns about LGBT rights with Igor Kochetkov, head of the Russian LGBT Network, told Russian President Vladimir Putin during the G-20 Summit Leading up to the meeting Putin put up his own front. the AP. “With this legislation, the government said that, yes, in Saint Petersburg last week. gays and lesbians are not valued as a social group. It is an Putin continued stating that he has worked with “these action to terrorize the entire LGBT community.” The conversations happened during the world leaders’ people” and sometimes “awarded them with state prizes or discussions about Russia’s overall human rights issues decorations for their achievements in various fields.” Pointing his finger back at the U.S., Putin told the reporter that could potentially have a negative effect on the Sochi that the Obama has no room to speak, stating that he 2014 Winter Olympics and the Qatar 2018 Federation “We have absolutely normal relations and I don’t see understands that some states criminalize homosexuality. Internationale de Football Association World Cup. anything out of the ordinary here,” he said, noting that Pyotr IIyich Tchaikovsky, the composer, was a homosexual. Criminalization of homosexuality was struck down by Russian LGBT rights seemed to be an amended discussion in the U.S. Supreme Court in 2003 with Lawrence v. Texas. Cameron’s 2 am. tweet, “2am meeting with President Putin. “Truth be told, we don’t love him because of that but he Same-sex marriage is banned in 35 states, while it’s legal A candid conversation on #Syria. I also raised concerns was a great musician and we all love his music. So what?” in 13 states, according to http://gaymarriage.procon. about gay rights.” he said. org. LGBT individuals can be fired for being gay in 29 states while 21 states and the District of Columbia protect Reports from U.K.-based Daily Mail reported that Putin Putin has continuously denied that Russia is homophobic, LGBT employees, 16 of those states also protect against belligerently replied that Russians need to “make more turning a blind eye to the uptick of violence against LGBT employment discrimination based on gender identity, children” and “promised that gay athletes and visitors faced individuals in his country and defended the recent so-called according to the Human Rights Campaign. no discrimination.” federal “gay gag” law and the lesser known anti-adoption law targeting countries where same-sex marriage is legal Reports about the two presidents’ discussion about LGBT End of discussion. both signed the same day in June. rights aren’t available. But the conversation wasn’t over. Obama continued the In an interview on September 3, Putin invited Russian Obama met with Russian LGBT activists and other conversation started in the U.S. prior to his departure to LGBT activists to meet with him if they express “initiative,” community leaders at Crown Plaza near the St. Petersburg Russia then during a stopover on Sept. 4 in Sweden, where reported Agence France-Presse. In the interview with the AP airport for a little more than an hour before leaving Russia he discussed LGBT rights with Swedish Prime Minister he once again outright denied the laws passed in June were on September 6. Fredrik Reinfeldt. Obama finally took his conversation and homophobic. his support of LGBT rights to Putin, who welcomed the UN ambassador Susan Rice and Mike McFaul, the US meeting and Russian LGBT activists. “In Russia there are no such laws. In Russia there is a law ambassador to Russia, joined Obama and the activists during forbidding propaganda of nontraditional sexual orientation the meeting. “On the contrary, we welcome it, so that there will be full among minors. That’s a totally different thing,” he told the understanding of whatever’s going on in our society,” said AP reporter. Kochetkov told Obama that, “The rise of xenophobia, Putin, who was critical of the Western political probe into the homophobia and anti-Western sentiments in Russia are state of Russian society, in an interview with the Associated Homosexuality was decriminalized in Russia in 1993 but inter-connected.” Press on Russia’s state Channel 1 television September 4. recent laws are rapidly criminalizing homosexuality again. He praised Obama for sending a “clear signal that it’s “Of course it would be very good if the diplomatic service, “The latest laws against so-called gay propaganda, first in impossible to discuss the human rights situation without the embassy, the special services, gave a full and objective the regions and then on the federal level, have essentially discussing the problems faced by LGBT.”

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com But he also implored Obama to be “more open while The study used by opponents of same-sex marriage to sway that she will “out” closeted members if they vote for the bill, assessing the human rights situation in other countries, SCOTUS and has been debunked by experts but that hasn’t on Twitter on September 5, reported the New Civil Rights including Russia.” stopped anti-gay advocates from utilizing the research to Movement. create homophobic laws and policies. Obama was candid about the difficulty of raising these She called the outing a “nuclear bomb” that should be used issues, especially with Russia and China, said Pavel In a note written by Zhuravlyov attached to the draft bill, only as an “extreme measure.” Chikov, who heads Agors, a legal aid nongovernmental he wrote, “Harm that could be inflicted on a child’s mental organization. health in case of their parent’s homosexual contacts is She added that, “Now, it seems such a time has come.” immense.” Outside of the meeting, Obama told reporters, “I’m very Gessen is calling for LGBT Russians to abandon their proud of their work.” All of these leaders … contribute in Many members of the Duma also believe this position country and seek shelter in a safer land. one way or another to continuing to strengthen Russian and support this bill like they did for the federal anti- society and helping to make progress on behalf of all homosexual propaganda bill. It’s time for Russian LGBT people to flee the country to people,” he continued. escape what she says has now become “all-out war” against Elena Mizulina, a member of the Duma, told a Russian LGBT people in Russia, she said. “It is my firm belief that a country’s strength ultimately news channel in June that parliament should consider comes from its people and that as important as government removing children from same-sex couples’ homes as “there Gessen is an American citizen, who is originally from is -- and laws -- what makes a country democratic and is a high chance that this child will imitate the behavior of Russia. She currently lives in Russia with her partner, who effective in delivering prosperity and security and hope his parents.” was only identified as a lesbian and a Russian citizen by the to people is when they’ve got an active, thriving civil Huffington Post, raising their three children. society,” said Obama. One of the sponsors of the federal anti-homosexual propaganda bill, she has accused the West of “aggressively In spite of international outcry against Russia, the situation A cultural war erupts in Russia imposing” its social policies upon Russia with its continues to intensify for LGBT Russians. She sees no “fetishizing of human rights, including those of sexual end other than for LGBT Russians to seek asylum in other Putin’s posturing didn’t negate his party’s actions. On minorities,” reported GSN. countries. the first day of the G-20 Summit his true position was sharpened when Aleksei Zhuravlyov proposed a child It’s unclear when this bill will be reviewed by the members “The fact that they’re proposing this law during the G-20 custody bill that would allow authorities to take custody of the Duma. Summit, it shows that no Western pressure is going to of children if one or both of their parents are gay. The bill keep Russia from passing anti-gay laws, from endangering was introduced to the Duma on September 5. There are also reports that another Duma member and the lives of lesbian and gay people, from endangering our Moscow mayoral candidate, Mikhail Degtyavov, is drafting families,” she said, recalling a conversation with one of her Zhuravlyov, who authored the bill that proposes to amend a policy for the government to fund “gay cure” therapy. daughters where she attempted to explain the situation. the Family Code, is a member of United Russia, the party that nominated Putin for president and controls a majority Fight or flee “The only way at this point that the U.S. can help Russian in the Duma. gays and lesbians is get us the hell out of here,” said Gessen. Russian LGBT activists are declaring an all out war on or Zhuravlyov has stated in the past that homosexual abandonment of Russia. Gessen knows that she can move her family to the U.S. and “propaganda” must be banned, not only in public spaces, sponsor her partner thanks to the U.S. Supreme Court’s “but also in the family,” reported Gay Star News. LGBT Russians are “living through an all-out hatred striking down the Defense of Marriage Act earlier this year. campaign that’s been unleashed by the Kremlin,” Masha The new bill is based on a controversial study by Gessen, a Moscow-based writer, journalist and activist told Many LGBT Russians aren’t as fortunate. Mark Regnerus, a sociologist at the University of Texas Huffington Post. at Austin, The New Family Structure Study, which claims “It’s high time to talk about asylum,” she said. that children raised by LGBT parents do not fare as well, Russian lesbian journalist Elena Kostyuchenko, who writes reported The Atlantic Wire. for Novaya Gazeta, threatened deputies of the State Duma [email protected]

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17 Herstyle Lesbian Wedding Style

| By Christin & Ashley Kelly-Brown

this very special day. This is not just another day, so why would the usual routine hair and make-up be feasible for such a monumental day in your life? You’re getting MARRIED! For the majority of us, we will never walk a red carpet or be invited to a royal affair. The aisle is our red carpet, so of course we want look our utmost best. After the wedding is all said and done, the photos taken on this day will last a lifetime. A professional knows how to bring your best features forward, conceal the not so flattering ones, and ensure that everything lasts for the entire event. A professional also relieves you of the pressure of you having to do this all for yourself. Consider it as a way to pamper yourself and your significant other. We like to consider ourselves the calm or spa experience, before the main event. With so much going on that day, a little self indulgence can go a long way.

ove is in the air here in California. For those of us who have waited to marry the For some of us, fussing over hair and/or make-up is very foreign. We get it. We’ve dealt love of our lives until it was legal to do so...the time has come! On June 26th, the with many brides that never do any type of beauty regimen. However, one must be able Supreme Court of the United States struck down the Defense of Marriage Act and to appreciate the transformative effect a little make-up and hair can do for one’s overall California’s Prop 8, allowing the Federal Government to recognize legal marriages image. Take Ellen Degeneres for instance. I’m sure Ellen wears little to no make-up when Lbetween same-sex partners. For those of us that got hitched during the brief window in she is not in front of the camera. However, on her wedding day, she looked absolutely 2008, Happy 5 year wedding anniversary! Christin and I were married on October 3rd, 2008 stunning. Ellen’s make-up artist knows how to achieve the best enhanced version of and we share this very special date with over 40 other couples that chose to wed with Olivia Ellen possible. This is not to say that she is not just as beautiful without additional styling. Travel for a very historic multiple ceremony and mass reception at the Hard Rock Hotel in However, Ellen understands the importance of looking great when the time calls for it. In San Diego. For those of you planning to propose or planning your special day, we’d like to our business, our main goal is to bring out the best in our clients. In order to do so, we take chat about personal wedding style. extra care in understanding your personal style. Although we may have a vision of what could look amazing on you, if you’re not comfortable, it shows. When choosing a hair and/ When Christin and I were married, we went all out with our wedding attire. We, of course, or make up artist, take a look at their website and portfolio. If you like what you see, you did our own hair and make-up for the big day, which are the perks of being hair and make will most likely like their approach. up artists for a living. For those of us who do or don’t wear make-up or style our hair on a daily basis, sometimes it can be hard to see the bigger picture of why one should Next step would be to have a consultation or trial. A consultation will give you a chance to indulge in the luxury of having professional help for the big day. As a professional hair and meet and get to know your artists. You want to work with someone who understands what make-up wife team, we would like to share the importance of looking and feeling great for

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com you’re going for and someone you will want to be around on the big day. Trials are the best hire a professional. way to get a feel for your wedding day look. It allows both you and your artist’s time to narrow everything down to the finest detail. This also gives you a chance to wear the look We were lucky to be included in our dear friends, Bernie and Chely’s wedding a few years around for the day and give feedback for any necessary changes. For those of you who don’t back. For their special day, they each wanted their own look that would capture their normally wear a full face of makeup and hair perfectly polished, there will be an initial shock to see yourself enhanced in such a way. What you must understand is that your artists take into account that you will be photographed in many different types of lighting (i.e. direct sunlight, evening, etc.) and that this look must also translate into the evening reception. So what may seem like a lot at first, in photos it will be just enough. Again, if you are not comfortable, let your artists know and they should be happy to fine tune individuality. Chely, who wore a beautiful strapless wedding gown, wanted a gorgeous it to your loving. up-do to showcase her feminine neckline. Christin went with a classic French twist with a modern flare. For her make up, she wanted to pull inspiration from her wedding colors The bottom line is don’t be which were violets and plums. Ashley gave her a daytime, dramatic cat eye utilizing those afraid to go the extra mile tones. Bernie, who wore a tailored tuxedo, never wears any make up. So we knew to for you and your wife to be. give her a natural enhancement by evening out her skin tone, giving her a bronzed glow When you get your photos and playing up her eyelashes. Together they looked stunning and like themselves, only back, you will both be happy that you did. There is nothing like having the best day of your enhanced to look their very best for their big day. life and looking exceptional at the same time. This day is about love. The love of yourself and the love you have for the person that completes you the most. Pamper each other and [email protected]

19 Spelling Out The Acronyms— Cheyne Curry and Brenda Barton Two filmmakers take DADT, DOMA and LGBTQ, via RAOB and GCLS, all the way to CNKY | By Nat Burns

short film, called Survived by..., Guard chaplain comes to the home to and somewhat misunderstood but for the conceptualized and made by two provide information and comfort to Riding’s filmmakers, Brenda and Cheyne, it is very A ex-military veterans, lesbians, asks mother. The female chaplain soon discovers clear-cut. the question—shouldn’t their families be that Ridings, who was killed in combat while compensated for this ultimate sacrifice? assisting a marine unit searching for Iraqi NB: What prompted you to make the insurgents, was a lesbian with a wife and a movie Survived By…? Made by a company called 3 Grunts non-biological child. She quickly realizes, CC: I had written a story for an online contest Productions, LLC, a company based in via the mother and Ridings’ wife, that the from Royal Academy of Bards (RAOB). Columbus, Ohio, the film is one of many family, who has sacrificed just as much as any The contest was called A Picture Is Worth A projects intended to address topics and issues military family, will get none of the benefits, Thousand Words and RAOB posted twenty relevant to the LGBT community and women programs or grief counseling afforded to the photos and asked the participants to select in general. The primary goal of 3 Grunts families of other heroes killed in action. one of the photos and write a story about it in Productions is to create films that entertain 1,000 words or less. One of the photos was as well as enlighten. Key to 3 Grunts releases The government policies of Don’t Ask, Don’t of what looked like a military cemetery and are the two remaining owners, retired Army Tell (DADT) and the Defense of Marriage that’s the one I chose and wrote “Requiem”, MPs, Brenda Barton and Cheyne Curry. Act (DOMA) still heavily affect the families about a mother of a soldier killed in combat, of gay and lesbian soldiers. The film who refuses to accept the folded flag off the Survived by... is a twenty-five minute film points out that though the repeal of DADT coffin because she considers her daughter’s focusing on one fictional family in the year is a victory, there is still discrimination if wife the next of kin and insists it be given to 2006. It opens with the funeral of Army the spouse or partner and any children’s the spouse, instead. As you know, in 2008, Staff Sergeant, Alana Ridings but quickly rights aren’t equal to that of all military both Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the Defense transitions to the time when the National dependents. The topic is still controversial of Marriage Act were still in play and the

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com slain soldier’s wife and daughter were not recognized. The idea was actually from one Brenda had come up with about a year before. Anyway, I got so much feedback from people saying that this should be a film, we thought why not? BB: I don’t want to give the impression that we instantly decided to make a short film based on Cheyne’s story. Cheyne was approached by several filmmakers from across the nation that wanted to take the concept of “Requiem” and put their own spin on it. After conferring with several producers and directors, Cheyne crafted a draft script for one. There were creative differences and Cheyne and I concluded that we didn’t agree with the direction that the production company wanted to take the film. Because of the rapid advances in video technology made the concept of making an independent film more financially conceivable, we decided to try and get the film made here in Columbus, frustrating learning experience. One of my LGBTQ community? Ohio. I know that neither one of us ever personal highlights was that when we filmed CC: For those who have actually seen it, the imagined, when we began this quest in 2008, the funeral scene at an actual cemetery, we feedback has been positive and encouraging. that it would be three years before we filmed were in the area that was one section over from It actually helped raise awareness in a lot of the project and that it would not premiere where George W. Bush’s great-grandfather people—in and outside of our community— in a theater until March of 2012. Much of was buried. It was like giving a metaphorical regarding what our LGBTQ soldiers have had the delay was due to the fact that we were middle finger to that warmongering dynasty. to deal with. Even our cast was enlightened learning as we went along. I’m sure that we Other highlights were people just being so by the dialogue. At the time, it was written, could have avoided some of the mistakes we cooperative with helping us get it done. No just five years ago, there still wasn’t a lot made along the way but I’m not sure if we one was paid up front so all the cast and of publicity about the restrictions on gay and would have learned as much as we did. crew initially donated their time, talent lesbian soldiers and their families and how and equipment. Another highlight for me the families just did not exist as far as Uncle was being introduced to Chris Westfield, Sam was concerned. Same-sex partnerships who worked the camera one of the days. and any children resulting, unless they were He and I have gone on to co-write and co- the soldier’s biological children, had to be produce a few short films together for local kept on the down low or the soldier faced competitions. The experience was beneficial a general or dishonorable discharge for in so many ways. violating DADT. A lot of our community BB: It’s funny that I remember production really had no clue how bad it was. We being more of a blur, so highlights? We had previewed the film at the Golden Crown only three days for filming and because of my Literary Conference in 2012 and a majority day job, I only participated in two of those of the audience was stunned that the policy exhausting days. Friends of ours graciously had been such a bad witch-hunt. offered up their home for us to film in while BB: It was a very positive reception, they went off on a weekend getaway and one especially from those who have served or are month later, we spent a Sunday afternoon currently serving. I was very happy to hear filming at Greenlawn Cemetery. The big from a soldier who is currently serving, that highlight for me was learning bits and the link to our film, now posted on Vimeo pieces of the art of filmmaking. Independent has been shared a lot within the military filmmaking, Hollywood style, has about one community. When our short appeared hundred people listed in the credits as being in the CNKY Film Festival—the LGBT involved in making the project. We had very film festival for Cincinnati and Northern small group of people, no more than two Kentucky— the audience was very kind. dozen, with various volunteers streaming in Military life, especially for those in the an out and we actually produced a very nice LGBTQ community, is still a pretty exotic looking film. I am very, very proud of our concept for them to consider. NB: Tell us about production—some first effort. of the highlights. NB: How was the movie received by the CC: It was a wonderful and at times, NB: How was the movie received by the straight community?

21 played Taryn, Savanna Rain Gamble, was four when the project started. She was seven when we filmed. BB: Pre-production and post-production added up to years. Production took all of three days.

NB: Who are the actors and director and how did you recruit them? CC: Everyone was local. Actually, we ran a Craig’s List ad and used our first director’s photography studio for the auditions. Susan M. Martin, who plays the mother, Robin, works in film all the time locally and also in surrounding states. Susan actually auditioned for both the mother and the chaplain. Amy Prater Talbott, who came in at the last minute CC: Mixed. We had our premiere in and played the chaplain, was a favorite in this Columbus two years ago and for the most NB: Was making the movie harder or film and theater community and works all the part, it was received well and it did what we easier than you thought it would be? time, too. She has since moved to Boston, had hoped – raised awareness. There were CC: It’s about what I expected it to be. I so if anyone reading this needs a talented, tons of questions after the film, during the have worked for a major movie studio— professional actor for a project, look her up. Q & A. Of course, there were those who felt Warner Bros.— and I knew what we were they had been preached to but honestly, I getting ourselves into. Doing an independent don’t think much would have changed their film with no budget in Columbus, Ohio was minds on the subject regardless. People are illuminating but it took a LONG time to funny when they have no empathy about get everything together. Thankfully, as I’ve issues that never affect them personally. They said before, Columbus has a great little film don’t know and don’t care and don’t really community and we had talented, dedicated want to know or care. On the other hand, and experienced people working on this even though some didn’t care for the theme project. On an independent film, you have to of our film, we have garnered respect within be ready to pitch in and do whatever it takes. our mostly straight little film community for On Survived by… I was writer, caterer, running a successful IndieGoGo campaign gofer, clapboard operator, script supervisor, and delivering on all our promises to the cast location scout, producer…. and crew. BB: I’d have to say both. It was a long BB: We actually made the film with the arduous process getting everything planned straight community in mind. While there are and in place in pre-production but most of still far more gay men than lesbians serving that can be attributed to our being brand in the armed forces, we made a conscious spanking new filmmakers. When you’re a decision to make our film about a lesbian teeny production company, filming isn’t family dealing with the inequities of military for wimps, especially in independent films. service. We wanted the audience to feel You have to be ready to put on every hat empathy for the family and not get caught imaginable, from craft services, to boom up in the ick factor of a same sex couple. operator. Advances in technology have Motherhood is a universally accepted concept made the process of filming easier. The and people can respect women standing up equipment has gotten more compact and less for their babies. Both Carly and Robin are complicated to deal with but filmmaking is Jennifer Nadine Stepp, who plays Carly, the doing just that when they’re challenging still physically demanding. Digital filming spouse, was on board from the beginning, the chaplain on military protocol. Most of and post-production opened up film making from when we filmed the prequel for our first, the straight folks that have seen the film to anyone who has the desire and drive to failed, fund-raising effort on Kickstarter. are family, friends or friends of friends. do it. Jen has several new film projects coming Cheyne’s right that some felt as though they out in the near future, too. Her daughter, were being preached to but that’s a position NB: How long did it take? Savannah, technically made her film debut in that many in privileged positions, generally CC: “Requiem” was written and posted in our prequel titled Requiem. She went from straight white men, take when confronted December of 2008. Our prequel trailer was not being interested at all in appearing in with concepts they find uncomfortable. But shot in 2009. We finally got everything Survive by... and not wanting to participate more often, folks had the same reaction my together to start filming in 2011, filmed in rehearsals, to not wanting to leave when beloved uncle and his wife had; they cried. it in spring, 2011 and after a successful filming began. Our director, TJ Cooley, is I knew we’d hit the right cords when we got IndieGoGo campaign to raise funds, it also well known in the Ohio film community. that reaction from any of our audience. premiered in spring, 2012. The little girl who

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com He came on board after our original director reading the synopsis. Let me say upfront production go? went on to do other things— before we could that we never expected to make money from CC: Brenda, this one’s all yours. nail down a film schedule—and another this film. We wanted to tell a compelling BB: When the GCLS board approached me director just became completely absentee. story in a manner that would help people and asked me if I’d be interested in tackling We were then referred to TJ, a veteran of the understand what LBGTQ military members this project, I thought well why not? I’ll US Navy, who really wanted to be involved and their families were facing under DADT. do my best, present them with a finished in our project. I learned a lot from watching When we started the process, DADT was in product and hopefully, they’ll be pleased. TJ work and we spent many hours together full enforcement. As we were filming, it was If not, it would be a learning process and it in pre-production. It was educational and becoming very clear that President Obama was. The inspiration for the promo was easy, rewarding for me. was going to make good on his promise to the people attending the conference. The BB: Mostly it was a case of, we met someone the LGBQ community (Transgender soldiers energy and joy at a GCLS event is amazing. at a party, who introduced us to someone are still discriminated against and are not The challenge for me was grasping a whole else and so on. Looking back, serendipity allowed to serve) and repeal the act. Cheyne lot of technical stuff in a very short amount played a large role. We were an unknown made sure to revise the script to reflect the of time. I’m grateful that DK Hawk and R R commodity. If we’d had money, say $20,000 fact that families would still be negatively Rose Carbinela patiently tutored me on the for filming alone, I knew people who would affected by DOMA. When DADT was capabilities of my camera. I know I made make our film. The film would easily have repealed, I put the film up on Vimeo so that some mistakes but boy, did I learn. I must been completed within a year. We didn’t people could see that families were still being also thank the very talented Ann de Mooij, have that kind of money, so we set out to discriminated against. Now that the Supreme Watty Boss, Dutch and Donna, who handed find a cast and crew who were willing to Court has finally struck down the Defense of over all of their photos taken during the be a part of a production that could only Marriage Act, our movie is happily becoming conference. It would have been impossible give them promises. We were lucky enough a historical document. for me to be everywhere at once. Thanks to find talented people, who loved telling to their efforts, I was given access to over stories through film and who were willing to two thousand fabulous photos. While they wait a long time for a payday. Thanks to our covered every event, I tackled interviewing generous donors to our IndieGoGo campaign the authors, fans and con virgins. I have two we were able to keep our promises. We dozen or more interviews that didn’t make it treated everyone with respect and as a result into the official promo but they are wonderful we have a very fine reputation within the and I hope that when I present final edits to local film community and we’re very proud the board that they will post this additional of that. footage to their YouTube channel.

NB: Your website at www.survivedbyfilm. NB: What’s next on the agenda? Are you com/ tells about the movie but you also working on anything now? have an interesting feature there called CC: Well, on a personal note—shameless Carly’s journal. Can you tell us how that plug— my third novel, The Tropic of came about? Hunter should be out in September and I CC: Brenda’s idea. And I should have kept have a bit part as a teacher in a yet-to-be up with it. released film called State of Delinquency. BB: Survived by... is a very short film that It’s a film about bullying. As for us, we have gave a small glimpse into the lives of the participated in local contests that have given Riding family after the death of Alana. I us the opportunity to put out a few short thought it might help people appreciate who horror films. I have several scripts for short the family was and understand the struggles films completed and we are actually in pre- they faced, if they could see the situation production for a YouTube series— In The through Carly’s eyes, in her journal. Having NB: Where were you, and what were you Light of Day—that we’re creating based on a loved one serving in a war is hard and it’s doing, when the Supreme Court repealed my short stories. even more difficult when you can’t use the Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act? BB: We’re in pre-production for a very short support systems the military has in place for CC: Hmmm…I believe we were in Dallas film to be shot in the fall and the YouTube other military families. at the 2013 Golden Crown Literary Society series. We would love to tackle a feature film (GCLS) convention when the news was but that would take a substantial amount of NB: How has the film been promoted? announced. It rocked to be able to share it cash. We have the same problem that even the CC: Mostly online. Although we did enter with such great friends and like-minded famous production companies have, funding. it into several film festivals. It got into one people. Not sure the hotel knew what hit So, at the moment, shorter productions are – CNKY – at that did give it some exposure. ‘em, though.… more realistic ventures. BB: We’ve used social media and have taken BB: Yeah....what Cheyne said. advantage of every opportunity to show the For more news about upcoming projects, film. Promotion is the most difficult part NB: I understand you just did a Golden visit www.3gruntsproductions.com of any creative project and it’s an ongoing Crown Literary Society promotional film. effort. The subject of the film makes it What inspired that work and how did the appear to be very niche-oriented to someone

23 BOOKS The Furthest City Light The Furthest City Light By Jeanne Winer | Bella Books Tallahassee, FL By Teresa Decrescenzo www.bellabooks.com

his is a very fine first novel. Winer has a well-developed ability to tell a story, in fact, to “show” so, why does the scene ring false? Because in a good, solid relationship, leaving America to go to the a story, which is RULE #1 for any writer. As the book’s editor, esteemed writer/editor/teacher second poorest country in the Western hemisphere is not a decision you make alone, no matter how well TKatherine V. Forrest often reminds students, “Show it; don’t tell it.” Winer learned this lesson individuated you are within the relationship. The theme of balance appears again, this time in terms well, it seems. of Rachel and Vickie’s relationship. It seems solid on the surface, like some of the rocks Rachel must have found impossible to climb that looked manageable when she first saw them. There just is no way This is a story set in the 1980s. The when of events that unfold in a novel it happens the way it happened within the context of a strong, cohesive bond between long-time lovers. is important, but in “The Furthest City Light,” it is especially important that Something had to be very wrong in that relationship that they both had been ignoring for a long time the remarkable adventure Rachel Stein embarks on takes place during the for things to go down the way they did, first with Rachel leaving and later with Vickie’s precipitous period in American history when Ronald Reagan’s C.I.A. was busy funding the extrication of herself from the partnership as well. They had a vibrant, rich sexual life, so there was no Contras dirty little war against the “Communist influences” of the Sandinistas. “lesbian bed death” to predict that the rest of the relationship would follow suit. Despite this nitpicky I’m getting way ahead of the story, though. Something else happening in the complaint, the story line is totally credible, the characters believable, and the scenes realistic. 1980s was the introduction of the concept of the “battered woman syndrome,” coincident with the publication of the book by the same title, “The Battered Rachel leaves for Nicaragua, where she has, literally, the time of her life. She’s a self-described adrenaline Woman Syndrome,” by Lenore Walker. Walker also developed the ideas of junkie, and Nicaragua during the 1980s is just the place to satisfy the need for excitement. Daniel Ortega “learned helplessness” and the “cycle of violence.” By the time that Walker had been returned to power in a legitimate election after a sixteen-year absence and the United States wrote her book, women’s rights and the battered women’s movement had gone Congress had passed a law expressly prohibiting aid to the Contras, but President Reagan and his cronies, from “the rule of thumb” that limited the size of the rod a man could use to calling the Sandinistas a Communist threat, figured out a way to get money to the Contras anyway. The beat his wife to no larger than the size of his thumb, to the existence of hundreds of women’s shelters Iran-Contra “scandal” that would expose the Reagan Administration’s dirty dealings in Nicaragua was throughout the country, and to the acclaimed Jodie Foster movie, “The Accused.”. still a few years away.

These ideas and theories were what Boulder Colorado Public Defender Rachel Stein planned to use The rest of the novel is an homage to the people of Nicaragua, a love letter to a country that today remains to support a self-defense plea on behalf of Emily Watkins, a battered woman who had fatally stabbed deeply impoverished. Some of the descriptions of the beauty of this country are exquisite. Rachel lives her husband with a pair of scissors after years of covering up his abuse, and probably one beating too among the locals, shares all of their frustrations over trucks that break down, the lack of vitamins, fresh many. To avoid having to issue a spoiler alert, I won’t say how the trial ended, but the experience pushes milk, adequate food, the inability to make things happen on any kind of reasonable schedule, and all of Rachel beyond the limits of her endurance. Perhaps it’s more apt to say that it throws Rachel into a state the inconveniences that come with poverty. She cries with them over their horrific losses, including an of disequilibrium that she is unable to reverse. She simply cannot regain her footing and her balance. explosion that kills several of the local boy soldiers who were sent to protect Rachel and the rest of the Rachel is a rock-climber, a dangerous hobby that requires always staying balanced, always making sure brigade members. The other people in the brigade are also remarkable and memorable characters. In the you have solid footing. Thus her rock-climbing becomes a metaphor for her life, even in her dreams. process, Rachel gains a balance of sorts, finally returning to America, not surprisingly unable to put the PHOTO CREDITS Noah Tamarkin Tamarkin CREDITS Noah PHOTO pieces of the relationship back together, but ready for whatever new adventure life has in store for her. When the opportunity to join up with a brigade of do-gooders headed to Nicaragua to rebuild a medical This is a story worth reading. clinic that had been destroyed by the Contras comes up unexpectedly, Rachel jumps at the chance. The scene where she discusses the plan with her physician partner, Vickie, is the only false note in the novel. [email protected] Perhaps this is exactly how it really happened – assuming this is an autobiographical novel – and if ALCOHOLISM, THE THINKING DISEASE It Starts Young | By G-O Digilio have been asked to address the issue of fixations or any this but even if I were to concede the point that recovery Spirituality and religious beliefs are wonderful when applied other unhealthy focus. A friend has been disturbed by practices seem addictive, they are far more beneficial than in a healthy manner. Unfortunately too many people Iwatching the demise of someone who basically has using alcohol or drugs. We must always progress to use religion in such an unhealthy way that they damage switched addictions. It has been my observation that people healthier paths. themselves and others. Instead of looking at the human in pain bring pain to anyone within range. Passing on the condition; they blame Satan for all the troubles in their world toxicity may not be constant but it happens often enough By nature I believe humans are an addictive lot. It is so easy and they just wait for their God to fix it all. The belief is that to wound innocent bystanders. Occasionally an apology to fall into the quick fix mode rather then spend the time and if the supplications are good enough God will take care of ensues but the abusive behavior is repeated. effort to root out the problems to eliminate them once and everything. Asking your higher power to assist is wonderful for all. The quick fix is a band-aid on a boil. It may cover but it seems that we were given brains and the talent to do a Unfortunately not everyone is willing to do the work it up the ugliness but it does not heal anything. The boil will large part of the work ourselves. As the saying goes, “God takes to bring this healing. While they are psychologically continue to pop up until it is treated and cured. There are so helps those who help themselves”. and physically capable, many other factors prohibit their many quick fixes that I will only cite a few as examples of venturing onto this road of happy destiny. Fear, pain and the process. It may be the scientist in me that asks that things be logical laziness are the most common factors that prevent deep and provable. Faith is logical and provable when done personal growth. What occurs under this circumstance is a People will use work to avoid looking at problems. If a in a healthy manner. Other wise it has the same kind of fixation on something else to distract from digging deep to person is working 12-16 hours a day, he may be performing illogical processing as the person who gets drunk because cure the root of the problems. a wonderful service to his family and his pocketbook. Yet he of problems. Drinking never fixes anything. Religious may be using his employment as an excuse to not go home addiction doesn’t either, as well as any other unhealthy The person may give up using alcohol or drugs but divert when there is horrific marital discord. The couple chooses addiction There is hope. There is a better way. their energy into another obsessive focus. I have been told not to do marital therapy and is stuck in a very difficult [email protected] innumerable times by disgruntled people that recovery relationship. Instead of fixing it, they use the excuse of too programs are addictive and that the alcoholic/addict is many hours of work to be able to work at a resolution to the switching one addiction for another. I do not believe marriage problems.

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com QUEERLY QUESTIONING What’s A “Muslim Country’ For Lgbt Americans? | By Juno Parrenas, PhD

n August’s issue of the LN, Heather Cassell wrote that of different religions. Cities are dotted with Chinese temples, Assuming that all conform to the majority is a mistake. The Chelsea Clinton, while touring through Southeast Asia as a Hindu temples, Sikh temples, mosques and Catholic, Protestant same mistake happens when we assume that ‘red states’ in the I representative of the Clinton Foundation, shared her support and locally organized evangelical churches. Kuala Lumpur, the US are entirely red and not speckled with blue dots, or that an of gay marriage. This was noteworthy because the interview capital, is especially a case in point in this. Malaysia has astounding entire state is de facto homophobic. When we recognize and took place in Malaysia. Cassell wrote, “Malaysia, a Muslim diversity in terms of religion. As a whole, Malaysia is about respect variations and diversity in any grouping of people that country, is widely known to be anti-gay often lashing out with 60% officially Muslim and the remaining 40% are split between we make, whether a nation, religion, race, or sexual orientation, homophobic policies.” various we move away from making stereotypes and generalizations. religions. That brief statement inspires me to respond. This is not about Like the US, This is important to keep in mind when acting as a visitor Cassell specifically but really about the ideas underlying such a Malaysia somewhere or when making assumptions about a place. People comment. My intention here is to contribute to a discussion of has a federal will always surprise you. In Malaysia, I feel extremely lucky how LGBT folks in the US should think about folks outside of the government to befriend open-minded, warm and genuine friends who could US, which and consists fully understand that I was a lesbian with a transguy partner. I is not so of thirteen feel lucky because I know how hard it is to really connect to different states, two of people who can fully understand you, even when you share the from how which are on same culture or same city. My partner is also an anthropologist. Americans Borneo. There He works in rural South Africa and he came out as trans to his view the is immense adoptive family. The love they share is framed by a respect for world. diversity difference and enjoyment in common interests. between the states as well. For instance, in Sarawak, the state I know I am not advocating for naiveté, assuming that people will best, 44% are Christian and 30% are Muslim, which makes always love strangers. Rather, I am advocating for the opposite: Christianity technically the dominant religion. Of course, exercise care when we think about people or nations and think these figures are official statistics and can simply be nominal of how consideration and respect for difference can improve in the way that I may say that I am Catholic when I am really how we are in the world. Coincidentally, my PhD is in Anthropology and I did research in an astrology-reading agnostic hippie allergic to formal religion. Malaysia. While Malaysia may have Islam as its official religion, Numbers can’t capture the complexity and variation with which [email protected] it is important to know that all of Malaysia has communities we all as human beings experience our beliefs. PHOTO CREDITS Noah Tamarkin Tamarkin CREDITS Noah PHOTO LIFE COACH’S CORNER 20 Lessons and Measures that Will Enhance Your Life! | By Kristi Pallino

1. Know that you are loved. 9. Use your cell phone with great awareness. If you about your life. Now you must meditate to quiet 2. Friends are people who support you, not bring are with someone, silence your phone until you the mind to expand your awareness, so you will you down or waste your time. are alone. It is rude to text, talk on the phone or develop the internal ears and eyes to see and to 3. Taking care of your physical, emotional, mental play video games when we are in the company of hear your answers. The awareness knows the and spiritual body is your key to a wealthy and another living soul. It takes away the connection. answers come in different forms. joyful life! 10. Read a new book each month, one that will 15. Remember how powerful, beautiful, intelligent, 4. Relationships have ups and downs, but if you allow you to expand your consciousness. creative, strong, compassionate and amazing you are experiencing more downs than ups, it’s time to 11. Walk in nature once a week, or sit at the beach are!!! take self-inventory to see what changes need to be and just be. 16. When you look in the mirror, see all the things made. After all, two people make a relationship: 12. Create a plan for your life. Think about driving that are right with you. two healthy people make a healthy relationship, on a road trip. What is the first thing you look at? 17. If you ever feel stuck and don’t know which and two unhealthy people make an unhealthy one. A Map. Why a map? To know how to get from way to turn, turn within. Aren’t you both worth taking the time to work on point A to point B. What if I took the map away 18. Create the life you want, don’t just wait to see this? YES!!! Get to work on it, sisters… and asked you to drive to the destination without what happens. 5. Listening to someone for what they are saying— a map? Chances are you would get lost right? You 19. Take one Risk a week. I challenge you!! Taking not for how it affects you—will deepen the get my drift? risks takes you out of your comfort zone. Taking connection. 13. Say Yes to more in your life. risks equals growth. 6. Affirm every day who you are for yourself, rather 14. Meditate…Meditate….Meditate. Meditation 20. Remember God loves Lesbians!!! than letting someone else tell you. takes practice—don’t give up! There are many 7. If you want to change something in your life, ways to meditate, find a way that works for you. [email protected] change your perspective about it. You may have been asking the Universe/ God/ 8. Your Life’s Purpose awaits you—all you have to Soul/ higher power (whatever you want to call do is look inside. the Conscious Energy we are made of) questions

25 LESBIANS ON who’s LOCATION who?

Lesbian News Publisher Ella Matthes and wife Gladi Adams taking some time off.

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com 27 MOVIES EYE C When The Pretty Things Get Older The passions of Concussion writer-director Stacie Passon

| By John Esther

ne of the most discussed films this year, writer- became my “red sports car.” It was my way of being old and director Stacie Passon’s Concussion examines a brave and looking back into my youth. Owoman at a crossroads in life. After getting hit in LN: It is interesting to find you have a background the head, 42-year-old Abby (Robin Weigert) wakes up (or in marketing, which is all about making the product goes to sleep) and commences to place her comfortable (or protagonist) as palatable as possible but Abby is bourgeois lifestyle at risk by starting her Sapphic belle de sometimes hard to swallow. Was that something that you jour enterprise. were conscious of doing when you were writing this? SP: It’s really interesting that you say that, because I also A very impressive debut featuring a standout performance used to be a trends person. When I did look at trends coming by Weigert, plus some wonderful musical selections, out of movies and more women making movies, I thought Concussion is not just a film one watches but absorbs and there were more unsympathetic women characters coming discusses afterward – and not always amicably either. out of movies. I thought I might only have one chance to make a movie like this where the woman was flawed but I In this exclusive interview, we spoke to Passon about her didn’t judge her character. The whole concept of third wave film. feminism is really about tough work and non-judgment. It’s about not judging people who we might consider different Lesbian News: Why did you want to make this film? or who may have a different arrangement in their marriage. Stacie Passon: I had turned 40 and started to find some of I found the whole process exciting and kind of liberating the literature that I was reading when I was 20: Virginia to write. Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own, Phyllis Chesler’s Women and Madness, Germaine Greer’s Female Eunuch and a LN: Are audiences receptive to the way that Abby does bunch of books that I had read and I got a craving to do not really “suffer for her sins” or do audiences tend something of a feminist nature. Then I thought about the to believe that Abby should have paid a price for her lesbian hooker because of Eve Ensler’s lesbian hooker in transgressions? Vagina Monologues and I thought that could be expanded SP: I was scared about that, for sure. I didn’t know how it to more of a hooker housewife kind of thing. I was in a was going to be received, certainly by the gay community. sort of mid-life crisis so I thought I would pair her with We are in a part of time where we are seeing more and more the housewife that I essentially am. I guess the screenplay people marrying. What I wanted to do and maybe this is part

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com Notes From Nat Ciara and Ivy Levan | By Nat Burns

his is always an interesting time of year. It is the time for long walks and lots of Another amazing beauty, about the same age, is Ivy Levan, who, intriguingly, dresses ear candy as we appreciate the bowing of summer to autumn. The air actually all in black. The only color she will wear is bright red lipstick. Have you heard of her Tfeels different here in the west as the whole atmosphere heralds the coming of yet? Oh, you will. I can practically guarantee it. I fell in love with her after hearing just fall and its beautiful vistas. the first powerful refrain from her EP album, Introducing the Dame. Called swamp- hop—she’s from Arkansas—her sound is a mixture of gritty blues, raucous humor and No less beautiful is Ciara, a singer, songwriter, actress and model. Her new album a sultry bounce that is irresistible. I adore this singer. She’s only available currently on Ciara is filled with Janet Jackson type R&B music. It may a small four song EP. I want more. be a bit more hardcore than the mild Jackson clan, however. There is a hint of Janet there, evidenced by music videos Denying her southern roots, Ivy left Arkansas and moved such as the one for “Get Up”. The puzzling thing to me is to LA when sixteen where she indulged her Goth rebellion this album’s subject matter—hot, steamy sex and little else. for some time as she modeled and pursued a singing career. This is her fifth album and I had expected more maturity After escaping a record label that tried to mold her into a this time around. Don’t get me wrong; the eleven tracks vanilla-Vegas artist, she re-found her southern roots—and are certainly enjoyable and she has excellent control of her signature smoky, smoldering voice that I predict will the pop/R&B market. Yet she’s still very young. It will be take the world by storm. interesting to follow her career and watch it grow. The four tracks on her EP are “Money”, about the love of it, Born Ciara Princess Harris in Austin, Texas in 1985, her family eventually settled in “I Don’t Wanna Wake Up”, about surviving a hangover, “Hang Forever”, about love, Atlanta and Ciara formed an all-girl band there while still in her teens. Although it and “Hot Damn”, a rowdy account of not being appreciated. soon disbanded, she followed her dream and ended up singing on Fantasia Barrino’s debut album, Free Yourself. Then she met Jazze Pha, a music producer and she was on Levan has also jumped on the acting bandwagon, already appearing in the Showtime her way to recording her debut album Goodies in 2004. This was followed by Ciara: movie, Drop Dead Gorgeous. Yep, watch out for this one. The Evolution in 2006, Fantasy Ride in 2009 and Basic Instinct in 2010. This latest is just as good, although there’s no “1,2 Step” on here, which was one of her songs that © 2013 Cherrytree/Interscope Records I really enjoyed. ivylevan.com

During her short career, Ciara has already been nominated for almost fifty awards ‘Til next month, while winning more than twenty. Sex certainly sells. I predict Ciara will continue to Nat grow as an artist. Right now, she is caught up in a whole culture of sex and rapper violence, as are a lot of other twenty-five year olds. [email protected]

of my experience with marriage, with the great things that are happening, there is also some songs that bookend the film. Can you tell me a little about how that happened? not-so-great stuff and marriage is hard. The love goes bad, or that kind of thing. In terms SP: My office was off the dining room area, where we edited the film and she was in the of morals, marriage is a long-term contract and people can make their marriage what they kitchen and my children were running around and I couldn’t get anything done. Alyson want to make it, which I think is what we are going to see more and more of in the future. turned around and started humming “Oh, You Pretty Things.” It kind of becomes a palate cleanser of where we are now. We are in a different place as evidenced by how quickly the LN: Almost all of the relationships in the film are, on one level or another, a financial LGBT movement is materializing. There is so much support but also so much further to contract -- whether it be the immediate exchange of money for services or not. go. We have marriage equality in 12 states now! The work is not done but it is certainly SP: Right. It’s so interesting how marriages change and grow. It becomes almost a business evocative of a different time and I really liked that about the song. Eno was really about arrangement in some ways, or a co-parenting arrangement. It certainly can be an arrangement madness. The song wasn’t necessarily about a woman like Abby, it might have been a man about love but there are other factors and other possibilities. but I loved the idea of the song’s protagonist holding his or her madness in a jar and being well and the whole idea of her calling out in the song, “remember me, remember me,” LN: How did Rose Troche become the producer? because it is about everybody’s crisis and is it about death and isn’t that eventually where SP: Rose is someone who I respect and love as a friend and as a collaborator, very much! we are all going? Abby wants to be recognized and she wants to be remembered. She wants Rose is always giving women directors, or women who want to make the leap into directing, to do something and it’s a “you only live once” moment for her. That’s the reason for those positive feedback. I just kept asking her to get more and more involved – just kept pulling two songs. her in. I can sort of be that way. [Laughs] LN: What do you see the next wave of lesbian films and filmmaking going to be about LN: Lastly that do you think about these interviews where you talk about yourself and and focusing on? your work? Do you think they serve the work or do you think the work should just SP: The next wave is going to be a wave of auteur women if they are making lesbian speak for itself? films. You have women who are strong, smart, interesting, knowledgeable about film, SP: That’s a tough one. It’s something that is necessary. I like to talk about the work. It knowledgeable about the craft of film. There are several women who are coming up right seems that when you are sort of establishing your voice in some sort of way you have to tell now…the kind of stuff we are going to see will be less about the right to have relationships people what you are thinking. Maybe in the future it won’t be as necessary. and more about how we live out our lives. [email protected] LN: When we spoke at Sundance you mentioned your wife, Alyson, recommended the David Bowie (“Oh You Pretty Things”) and Brian Eno (“Some of Them Are Old”)

29 TRANSGENDER Life as a Spork: Daddy’s Little Kiddo Part 2

| By Chris Angel Murphy he night before I had trouble sleeping and cremation costs and packages the day before. year and it went as well as it could possibly go. was tossing and turning a lot. The hospital One website offered a checklist of important I practiced on family members as I dialed each Tcalled at almost 5 in the morning, but I things to gather and what steps to take, which number on the way to her house. Each time turned my father’s phone on vibrate and so I was super helpful. But, I was caught off-guard. adding, Please don’t call grandma, she doesn’t missed the call. They rang twice and finally left This is insane. My life is a movie. I just saw him. know yet. Let me race to her and tell her in a voicemail, which I didn’t get until 10am when person. I’m on my way now. Eventually, I called I thought to check it. Calling the hospital to get Grandma didn’t even know yet. At least, I didn’t her and checked in. Her tone was normal, which answers as to what had happened was proving think so. I panicked. Oh my G*d, I have to tell let me know she didn’t know yet. Crap. I really to be difficult. At first, a nurse said, “didn’t he her. Wait, what if someone calls her? I have to have to tell her. Okay. I said I was on my way expire?” I had no idea what she was talking tell her. Still, I must put on the oxygen mask earlier than expected and that I would be there about, but it hit later. After some shuffling of first, right? So, I called Sabrina, my grounding soon. We were to visit dad today. people, someone finally told me: my father friend. The relationship we have truly means the passed away. What the hell was wrong with that world to me and she reminded me to breathe. I Finally, I got to the door. I was a mess; things first nurse? Who the hell answers the phone like did. Or tried, rather. She let me think out loud were flying out of my backpack. Somehow I that? How insensitive! I didn’t even know! with her on the phone. I have an appointment. I managed to collect myself and get to the door. have to cancel it. I have to tell grandma, I don’t I acted as normal as possible, put my bag down What do I need to do moving forward? Another think she knows. How do I tell her son has died? and let her shut the door. As I turned to her, I nurse told me to talk to a social worker and I didn’t get to finish my list of what to do. I can’t pulled her into a hug and then backed away to talk to the doctor to find the specifics of believe this. I’m glad he’s at peace. It went on. a little and took a deep breath. Grandma, he what happened. Tears were coming out, I was passed away last night… doubling over and trying to make sense of After canceling my appointment, I raced to everything because it happened so suddenly. her house. I’ve only ever told one person (on To be continued… Even though I swore he had at least another the spot, no warning) that someone important month, I was being realistic and looking at to them passed away. It was at internship this [email protected] Living Out State Of Celebration | By Sally Sheklow

otta hand it to the IRS. I don’t mean literally hand over your owed taxes --although Back to our nation’s government. In the wake of the Supreme Court striking down DOMA, unless you’re a valiant anti-war tax-resister doing civil disobedience, you probably federal agencies are hustling to unveil their compliance plans. The Department of Health Gshould pay up, especially now that Obama is closing loopholes on tax-avoiding fat and Services is all over it. HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, flexing some mighty estrogen, cats (no offense to felines of size). I’m saying hand some figurative credit to the Internal proclaimed she’d “Ensure that gay and lesbian married couples are treated equally under Revenue Service for growing a pair (that means ovaries, right?) and taking a stand for the law.” That means if Wifey and I ever need to be in a skilled nursing facility, Medicare justice. Advantage has to let us be in the same facility. Rattle your walkers, folks, this is big!

The IRS teamed up with the US Treasury Department and jointly announced, much to the All these new equality guarantees apply to couples in legally recognized same-sex marriages frothy chagrin of anti-equality homophobes, that all married couples, regardless of sexual based on where they were married. In oddly festive legalese, this is known as the “State of orientation, will be treated equally under federal tax law. Can I get a “Woo hoo!”? Celebration.” (Also happens to describe our state of mind.)

After decades of protesting, parading, lobbying, canvassing and coming out, the times Here’s the deal. For federal taxes and a slew of other federally-regulated programs like the really are a’changin’. It suddenly seems so sudden. Like the old slapstick routine where military and immigration, all married same-sex couples are now considered legally married someone pounds and pushes against the closed door and then the person on the other side based on their State of Celebration. That’s all of us who were married, like Wifey and I were, flings it open. Whee! in Canada, or any of the 16 other countries (and parts of Mexico) with marriage equality, or in California, Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, We’re in. For federal tax purposes, at least. No matter where your marriage was performed, New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington (state AND DC). if you’re legally married anywhere, you’re legally married everywhere. Even if you happen to live in one of the 37 same-sex marriage-ban states, like Oregon. Alas, queer couples who want to marry but don’t live in or have the time and money to travel to one of those places are SOL. At this moment, Social Security still denies benefits based on Side note: We’re on the verge of overturning the Constitutional ban here in the Beaver State of Residence. And not all of us lesbian/gay/bi/trans/queer people are even in couples. State. Volunteers are busily gathering signatures to put a marriage equality measure on Way too many doors remain closed. Oh, we’ll definitely keep pounding. But now we expect our November, 2014 ballot. We’re all doing our part to bend the long arc of history toward those closed doors to keep flying open. justice. [email protected]

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com Positive Reflections There’s More To Every Story Than Meets The Eye

| By Dian Katz, MS

his summer, I booked a vacation in under those smiles that they weren’t allowing us and I watched the spectacular lightening storm Mexico, although I had no clue of what to know. In fact, the whole facade continued. We throughout the night. The wind continued to Tkind ofL.A. adventure GAY I was & gettingLESBIAN myself were the only flight that landed at the airport that pound on our windows but this was just a little into. I chose a remote destination because I day and there were about 30 of us on the plane. rainstorm, I remembered. The next day, we desperately neededBEACH some downtime. CENTER’S The resort After going through Customs in record time, found out through a guest that this wasn’t just was about 45 minutes off the beaten path. Ah, several concierges from the Resort were there a little rain but a Tropical Storm that started a little r&r at a luxuriousBEACH resort. CLASSIC “I am going to to welcome us. They gathered all of us together the night before we arrived. It even had a have the time of my life”, I smiled to myself. As while continuing to smile. The rain poured down name too! Tropical Storm Ivo had perched in my friend and I left LAX, we said goodbye to all on the building and the wind howled. It seemed our little resort town and airport. Why hadn’t of our troubles and basically shelved anything a little eerie to me but since the concierges anyone told us??? Why did they keep this from that smacked of stress or responsibility. and shuttle drivers were all smiling and being us and put our lives in danger driving here??? calm, I figured there must not be anything to I kicked back as our flight entered Mexican worry about. We were loaded into the vans As new information came in, we learned that territory and waited peacefully to arrive at very quickly as they all tried to keep us as dry all of the employees had to spend the night at our vacation destination. After a relatively as possible. Again, the staff continued smiling the resort the day we arrived. We also learned smooth flight, the captain announced over the the whole time. We watched as our drenched that the town nearby had been flooded and all loudspeaker, that we might experience “some suitcases were quickly piled into the shuttles. 400 people had to be evacuated and placed in turbulence and a little rain” as we approached Two of the concierges were on our van. After shelters. Many of those evacuated were family the airport. He also informed us to remain seated the door swung shut, we were whisked away to members of the staff. The drivers had driven with our seat belts on. Now mind you, I’m not paradise? as quickly as possible to get us to the resort bothered by a little flying but....like many people, before the floods had moved further toward the I get a tad nervous at the thought of entering a The drive to the resort was to be approximately resort. So they were actually risking their lives rainstorm with turbulence. However, I didn’t 45 minutes. The roads were all dirt and unpaved. to get us to safe ground. The concierges smiled want to appear different than anyone else so I Our driver sped through the rain dodging during all of the chaos to help keep our vacation attempted relaxation and serenity. It’s interesting mudslides, boulders falling from the mountains as peaceful and joyful as possible despite their to note however, when one is concerned about and huge lagoons of water. I looked at the two feelings.. One family tried to leave the resort not standing out, you glance around and see well dressed American, female concierges and get to a hotel near the airport, only to have others really losing it!. It was obvious that some (in about their thirties), to gauge whether this their van trapped in the mud in the middle of passengers were downing their booze long after was normal. I figured if they seemed nervous the night for ten hours! the captain’s announcement. So we are all not or scared then something was wrong and this that different are we? driver needed to slow down!! However, they This experience confirms my philosophy. smiled and told us how much we would love the Things aren’t always what they seem and there The plane entered the “little rain storm” and resort. Thunder roared and lightening flashed. is often more than meets the eye. So before we we were tossed around like clothes in the dryer. The rain came down in buckets and at one point judge something, look further. Also, looking at Interesting that the pilots weren’t concerned the shuttle in front of us with the rest of the one’s situation from another angle also helps. about flying into a baby storm which had such passengers, had to stop and get out of the van to This was no disastrous vacation. This was power but heck, what do I know, anyway. As push huge boulders out of the road. This can’t going to be an exciting adventure!! we landed, we exited the plane at this tiny little be normal I thought but again, I looked at the airport and were completely soaked by the rain. nicely dressed staff and they just smiled. Rain Dian Katz has a background in Marriage, Hmmm, this rain seems a tad heavier than a came pouring through the inside of the van right Family, Child Counseling. She is also Author “little storm” but again, I’m no weatherman. onto one of the concierges! She just giggled of the book Love Hurts: A Spiritual Journey They got us into the airport as fast as they could. and let the rain soak her!! The whole ride to to Wholeness which can be downloaded That was nice of them. They didn’t want us to get the resort was like Mr.Toad’s Wild Ride! Wow! as an e-book for Kindle on Amazon. Find wetter! Customs also seemed to want to get all What a ride! We finally entered the resort and her on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/ of the passengers from my flight through as fast were given drinks, lots of them. Our baggage diankatzband. as possible. Traveling to Mexico is usually laid was taken to our rooms extremely quick and we back and peaceful but for some reason, Customs were given room keys. They really work fast to [email protected] and the Flight Attendants all seemed slightly get you comfy in Mexico now don’t they? stressed but kept the smiles on their faces. I have an intuitive sense so I knew something was Once we got settled in our rooms, my friend

31 POETRY | By Morag Hillsinger

Bi Girl

That girl in the corner With the captive audience Everybody wants to protect her but she’s as Fragile as a chain link fence

Drawn like honey come the Butches and the boys She can give the hairy eyeball Scatter hearts like broken toys

Written off as looksist She just likes girly things A nellie at the Happy Hour A muse to would be Kings

The truth is that she sees a soul Wrapped in earthly drapes She loves, she loves the person whole And smiles at sour grapes

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Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com HOT SPOTS

| By Dian Katz, MS

ctober time.... yahoooooo!!! One of my favorite months plenty of younger women. But come on.. with all the Dinah Shore, of the year! It has that one holiday in it where I can dress Las Vegas, and other girl parties catering to young 20’s and 30’s, Oup like Spiderman or Batman... okay, okay, maybe I won’t the 40 and up crowd need to have some fun as well. Can’t leave do that but I do get to be someone else and I simply love it! The them out and a lot of women in that age range don’t always feel ghouls and skeletons come out. But then again, what’s new. I have as comfortable amongst 20 year olds and visa versa.. Why can’t a lot of strange ghoul friends who are pretty scary. And all of those we all just get along.. LOL... I think PT has a lot more comics girls pulling their skeletons out of the closet, well... that’s not than other parties. Some of the performers are: Poppy Champlin, exactly what I’m talking about here but it’s all good. In addition Suzanne Westenhoeffer, Kate Clinton, Maggie Cassella, Bobby to that, I know a few girls homes I went to that were haunting. I Wetherbee, Jennie McNulty, Chris Williamson, Mimi Gonzalez, mean the way they lived scared the begesus out of me....so maybe Vickie Shaw, Karen Williams and even Helen Reddy to name a that counts as a haunted house? Well, neither here nor there, the few. And all of these gals are very well known in our community point is this. Don’t go to people’s houses that are full of cobwebs... as fabulous entertainers and performers. And believe me, they will . Alright, alright, on with Hotspots! show you a good time. Besides, there are so many other things to do to broaden your horizons. You can’t miss out here. For more Speaking of coming out of closets, it’s NATIONAL COMING information : womensweekprovincetown.com. OUT DAY on OCTOBER 11. This certainly doesn’t mean you have to come out. It’s always a personal choice but with all the HALLOWEEN IN NEW ORLEANS from Thursday, October legal gay marriages happening everywhere, it’s helping our 24-27 and again on Thursday, October 31st, should be one hell community. I mean, even if you just come out a little. Tell someone, of a party. I mean really, imagine the celebrations going on there. somewhere.... It’s empowering! I have found, the more people that “Halloween Weekend attracts gay and lesbian revelers from around know that I’m gay, (not that anyone can’t figure it out with me the nation and around the world for the long weekend of events. writing these columns all of these years) the freer I feel. It all began as a simple gathering of friends in 1984. Now it has I thought it would be just the opposite. You know, the ol’ bullying evolved into one of the most celebrated gay circuit party weekends and calling you names crap. On the contrary, I have people telling of the years. It’s so festive that the partying lasts from midday on me they love me, anyway. I have co-workers at a school setting Thursday until the wee hours of Monday morning,” say promoters. acting like it’s no big deal. Wow, what a weight off my shoulders. Oh man, I can see it now. All of these lesbos in their costumes And I also have the attitude, if you don’t like it, you can kiss my throwing beads at everyone?” Don’t answer that. I’m sure it would ***. I mean seriously, why shouldn’t I be allowed to participate be craaaaaazy. But why the heck not ...right? Party N’leans style! in society? I work hard. I pay taxes. I try to be kind to the world. For more information: I demand a little respect here! I don’t go around flaunting it but gayhalloween.com. I’m certainly not going to be ashamed of it. I felt horrible guilt and shame while growing up, knowing I was different and thinking On the west coast on HALLOWEEN NIGHT, you definitely need others wouldn’t like or love me. When you take that first step, it’s to experience WEST HOLLYWOOD. It is one insane party (all huge. See what happens. You’ll come out a little more and a little in good fun) and the gays and lesbos come out in full force. “It more until you realize you are deserving of good treatment from is one of the largest Halloween street parties in the world. And others. They don’t always have to agree with our lifestyle, but they every year when I miss the event, I turn on the news and there are don’t have to treat us like doo doo. And here’s a great question the most outrageous costumes one can imagine. It is a carnival, a when they tell you it’s a choice to be gay. Ask them, “when did you social scene, and dance party and if you like living on the edge and decide to be heterosexual?” It makes them think. It truly does. For tearing it up with other like minds, you’ll love this event. Trust me, more information on any events going on in your area during this you’ll remember it for a long time. Hmm, what to wear, what to time, : hrc.org. wear. I need to find my costume and get on down there. Everyone is so up and there is no way you can’t have a really fun time.. well, The ladies out in Provincetown have a hell of a big party this unless you hate crowds, but heck...suit up and show up anyway!!!!! month. It’s WOMEN’S WEEK PROVINCETOWN also known You will be so glad you did.The streets are filled with excitement. as P Town by the locals, 14th thru the 20th Now this big celebration For information: brings women from all over to enjoy great women’s entertainment, westhollywoodhalloween.com. workshops, Drum Circles, Golf Tournaments, Meet the Authors, Football, Craft Shows and so much more. I’ve heard that the [email protected] crowd is more of a 40 and up crowd but I’m sure there are still

33 COMMUNITY ACCESS

A SPECIAL NOTE TO OUR READERS Battered Women Support Group Tu (Spanish) Transgender Support MONDAY LINC (Lesbians in North County) San – If you know of spiritual/support/group (818) 887-6589 Hollywood (323) 660-9680 Marcos (760) 744-0780 or (760) 598- meetings or events happening in your area Coping with Grief (323) 669-3434 Women over 40 rap, call Andi 818-522- Women’s Focus Garden Grove 3996 and would like to have them added to our Lesbian-Friendly AA L.A. (323) 463-4266 5201 for info. & location. (714) 953-LGBT www.thecenteroc.org SOL (Slightly Older Lesbians) San Community Access page, please email the LGBT Al-Anon Meeting 7p-8p Reseda Hall Women’s Group Torrance (310) 328- Diego (619) 582-1578 or (619) 656-8321 name of the Group/Organization, the day of 17751 Sherman Way (West of White Oak) SATURDAY 6550 [email protected] Lesbians Considering Parenting San the event, their telephone number/website/ OPEN MEETING - All are welcome Glory Tabernacle Long Beach Diego (619) 260-0810 email address, along with the name of the 310.365.5485 (Anita) Spirituality (562) 981-6808 www.glorytabernacle.com county, to: [email protected]\ SATURDAY WEDNESDAY Beth Chayim Chadashim TUESDAY LOS ANGELS COUNTY (323) 931-7023 www.bcc-la.org Women’s Room AA Meeting Latinas Congregation Kol Ami West Hollywood Coming Out Support Group Garden (619) 298-8008 SUNDAY Grupo de Apoyo Para Lesbianas Latinas (323) 606-0996 Grove (714) 953-LGBT L.A. (213) 381-8500 www.thecenteroc.org PALM SPRINGS Groups/Meetings Bienestar HIV + Women’s Group Groups / Meetings Glory Tabernacle Long Beach (Spanish) (818) 908-3820 x 109 (562) 981-6808 www.glorytabernacle.com Southern California’s Desert Paws, Senior Lesbian Social (323) 860-7359 Sobores- Gay Lesbian Transgender & Bi- Agape LGBT Circle Culver City Holy Spirit Fellowship Church Long founded by Dr. Lori Kirshner. Your Lesbian/Gay Al-Anon L.A. sexual youth (25 & under) Van Nuys (310) 348.1260 x 212 website Beach (562) 428-5037 help and donations welcomed. www. (323) 463-4266 Contact (818) 908-3820 www.agapelive.com/lgbt Lesbian and Gay Catholics animalstodayradio.com Women’s AA L.A. (323) 463-4266 Battered Women Support Group (562) 434-9873 The LGBT Community Center of the Spirituality (310) 264-6644 The New Dynamic Lesbian Desert - is located 611 S. Palm Canyon Spirituality Lesbian-Friendly AA L.A. (323) 463-4266 (714) 520-4894 Drive, Suite 201, Palm Springs, CA Christ Chapel of the Valley Bible Study Women of 40+ L.B. 6:00-8:00 pm. 92264. Located in the Sun Center, near AGAPE www.agapelive.com/lgbt N. Hollywood (818) 985-8977 SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS For more info: (562) 434-4455 ext. 245 Revivals, ample parking. Hours: 8:30am All Saints’ Parish Episcopal Church MCC LA bible study West Hollywood Lesbian Chat 6:30-8:00 pm. - 4:30pm Mon-Fri. Call for weekend and Beverly Hills (310) 275-0123 (310) 854-9110 www.mccla.org OASIS-Long Beach is a Los Angeles For more info: (562) 434-4455 ext. 245 evening programs. Christ Chapel of the Valley N. Hollywood Ecclesia Gnostica (323) 467-2685 Unified School District continuation high 1-760-416-7790. Email info@thecenterps. (818) 985-8977 www.gnosis.org school program that primarily serves WEDNESDAY com www.christchapel.com gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender We Care Free Mammogram Program Church of Truth Pasadena (626) 795-6905 Groups/Meetings students who, due to social pressures, Grief & Loss Group Garden Grove provides no cost screenings to Coachella www.churchoftruth.org cannot attend conventional education pro (714) 953-LGBT www.thecenteroc.org Valley’s uninsured/underinsured women Dignity/L.A. L.A. (323) 344-8064 Lesbian Friendly Overeaters Anonymous grams. Currently, internship positions are InterAct: Christian Connection Group who are 40 or older with no implants. No Ecclesia Gnostica Los Angeles Silver lake 6:30 p.m.-7:30 pm available Monday through Friday in both 562-925-3533 www.open-door-ministries financial means tes nor doctor referral (323) 467-2685 www.gnosis.org Lesbians Considering Parenting Suzann the morning and the early afternoons. For Teen Rainbow Group Garden Grove required. Call 1-760-325-47 01 for GALAH - Gay & Lesbian Atheists & Gage LAC, RNC. NP. Info (323) 650-1508 more information please contact Sandy (714) 953-LGBT www.thecenteroc.org appointment. Humanists Lesbian-Friendly Group for Battered Miller at (562) 437-4639 Young Adult Rainbow Group Garden More info www.DesertWomenforEquality. CFI-4773 Hollywood Blvd Hollywood Women (310) 264-6644 Grove (714) 953-LGBT com CA 90027 (818) 554-9858 L.U.N.A. program of Bienestar The Rhonda Fleming Mann Resource www.thecenteroc.org Lesbian and Gay Ministry Coco (323) 727-7897 or (818) 908-3820 Center support group for lesbians with Youth Support Group (310) 328-6550 VENTURA COUNTY (310) 991-0365 or (310) 393-9287 Women of Color Support Group L.A. breast cancer call Suzanne Levanas www.southbaycenter.org Living in the Light Ministry L.A. (213) 381-8500 or (818) 282-5827 (310) 794-6365 Camarillo Location - United Parents 391 S. LITL [email protected] (626) 683-3316 Women’s Cancer Support Group THURSDAY Dawson Drive 1A Camarillo CA 93012 MCC LA West Hollywood (310) 854-9110 (562) 434-4455 x222 Need Help? Call the Women Helping LGBTQ Family Group Every other Friday www.mccla.org Women Services Counseling talk line, Christ Chapel (949) 376-2099 6:00-7:30pm MCC in the Valley North Hollywood THURSDAY a non-sectarian, non-profit commu Circle of Friends (760) 438-2132 Newbury Park Location - Universalist (818) 762-1133 [email protected] nity service of the National Council of Glory Tabernacle Christian Center Unitarian Church In the Song Bird Park 3331 Neighborhood Pasadena Latinas Jewish Women/Los Angeles. If you or (562) 981-6808 or Old Conejo Road Newbury Park CA 91320 (626) 449-3470 a friend is experiencing depression, www.GloryTabernacle.com info. 1-888-672-9318 Pasadena Church of Religious Science Sabores – Gay Lesbian Transgender & domestic violence, poverty, or other Latina support group Garden Grove LGBTQ NA Group Wednesday 6:30-7:30pm Pasadena (626) 795-4216 Bi-sexual youth (25 & under) life-changing issues, a caring Parapro (714) 953-LGBT www.thecenteroc.org Thousand Oaks Location - Massage Center Santa Clarita Center for Spiritual Living (323) 660-9680 fessional Counsellor can assist you in Women’s HIV/NA Rap L.B. 171 E. Thousand Oaks Blvd. #205 Thousand (661) 298-9411 finding solutions and resources. Call the (562) 987-5215 Oaks CA 91360 LGBTQ Support Group Sepulveda Unitarian/Universalistic Society Spirituality Counselling Talk line (323) 655-3807 Every other Friday 5:30-7:30pm North Hills (818) 894-9251 today FRIDAY St. Jane Frances Roman Catholic GLO No. Crescent Heights United Methodist KERN COUNTY Hollywood info/newsletter Dan Church Bible study West Hollywood Volunteers Needed for Crisis Inter Glory Tabernacle MCC Bible Studies (818) 785-5603 (323) 656-5336 vention or Violence Prevention Specialist Long Beach (562) 981-6808 SUNDAY St. Matthew’s Lutheran Church N. MCC LA Bible study (323) 930-1600 Training. Help your community by volun www.glorytabernacle.com Hollywood (818) 762-2909 www.mccla.org teering to become a crisis intervention Metropolitan Community Church of the The Church of Sts. Serge & Bacchus counsellor or a community educator for SATURDAY Harvest Bakersfield (661) 873-8891 or Los Angeles - Groups / Meetings the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults e-mail [email protected] www.chapelofsergeandbacchus.org Against Women. For more information on Adult Children of Alcoholics Meeting Rev. John Goelz & Rev. Donna Owen, L.I.C. (Lesbians Inspiring Change) trainings contact (213) 955-9090, Indi L.B. (562) 434-7584 MONDAY Service first Sunday of Month 5:00 p.m. meets from 8:00 - 9:30 p.m. on the 1st and viduals reflective of LA’s diverse commu Christ Centered Fellowship (949) 451- (323) 654-2199 3rd Thursdays of the month at the MCC nities encouraged to apply – particularly 3777 ECLaguna@ aol.com www.ecwr.org Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Bakersfield Weho Church West Hollywood Church8714 Santa Monica Blvd. bilingual speakers Dignity L.B. Catholic Mass L.B meets at 3816 River Blvd at 7 p.m. (213) 620-1531 www.wehochurch.com Alcoholism Center for Women’s L.A. (562) 984-8400 Gay-Straight Alliances West Hollywood Presbyterian Church (213) 381-8500 LONG BEACH/SOUTH BAY/ Holy Spirit Fellowship Church [email protected] (323) 874-6646 visit our website at Battered Women Support Group ORANGE CO. (562) 428-5037 www.wehopres.org (818) 887-6589 More Light Presbyterians New Port Beach TUESDAY Lesbian-Friendly Group for Battered Garden Grove Center has a new (949) 644-1341 MONDAY Women (310) 264-6644 location: The OC Center Marriage Equality California, Bakers Lesbian-Friendly AA L.A. (213) 381-8500 1605 N. Spurgeon St SAN DIEGO COUNTY field Chapter (661) 204-3180 Groups / Meetings (323) 463-4266 Santa Ana, CA (714) 953-LGBT (5428) www.thecenteroc.org WEDNESDAY Battered Women Support Group San FRIDAY SUNDAY Fernando Valley (818) 887-6589 Bible Study 7:30pm Lesbian-Friendly Battered Women Support Latinas SUNDAY Christ Chapel of North Park San Diego (909) 987-4342 Group (310) 264-6644 (619) 542-1113 L.U.N.A. program of Bienestar Sabor A Mi. East LA (323) 727-7897 Dignity/S.D. Catholic S.D. THURSDAY 909-397-7660 VIDA Hollywood (323) 660-9680 Calvary Open Door Ministries Long (619) 645-8240 Growing and Supporting Christian Beach (562) 925-3533 www.open-door- Lesbian and Gay Historical Society Gay and Lesbian Alcoholics Anony Families 562-925-3533 Spirituality ministries.org (619) 260-1522 mous (AA) meets at 3816 River Blvd, www.open-door-ministries.org Christ Chapel Orange County, MCC S.D. San Diego (619) 521-2222 or Bakersfield at 7 p.m. Beth Chayim Chadashim. Rev. Lillian Lobb www.mccsd.org Parents, Friends and Families of TUESDAY (323) 931-7023 www.bcc-la.org Services: Sundays 10:00 A.M. Worship Lesbians and Gays (661) 632-2510 Congregation Kol Ami West Hollywood Service: Wednesdays 7:00 P.M. TUESDAY Latinas (323) 606-0996 22722 Lambert Street, Suite 1712, Lake FRIDAY Goddess Temple Forest, OC 92630 949-376-2099 Common Ground Gay Youth Services Latinas in Recovery AA Meeting L.A. www.goddesstempleoforangecounty.com Christ Chapel MCC Santa Ana, (760) 744-0220 California State University Bakersfield (213) 381-8500 6:00 pm service Rev. Rev. Randy Besta Gay Lesbian Straight Student Network Latinas and Friends 323-259-1051 or Healing Life Christian Home Group Service: Sunday 10:00 AM. 720 N. WEDNESDAY Contact: [email protected] e-mail [email protected] 562-925-3533 Spurgeon St. Santa Ana 714-835-0722 Sabores Los Angeles Contact www.open-door-ministries.org Glory Tabernacle MCC Service Long Beach LGBT Center San Diego (619) 692-2077 A SPECIAL NOTE TO OUR READERS Joseph Cervantes (323) 727-7897 Saint Monica’s Catholic Church Coco (562) 981-6808 www.glorytabernacle.com x 224 – If you know of spiritual/support/ (310) 991-0365 Goddess Temple www. Women to Women (619) 692-2077 group meetings or events happening in goddesstempleoforangecounty.com your area and would like to have them Groups / Meetings Groups / Meetings 11:00 am service THURSDAY added to our Community Access page, Unity Church 935 East Broadway, Long please email the name of the Group/ Gay and Lesbian Assoc. of Santa Clarita Lesbian-Friendly AA L.A. (323) 463-4266 Beach, Ca 90802 11:00am Service Mira Costa College LesBiGay Organization, the day of the event, their Valley (GLASC) 7:00 pm www.glasc.com (213) 381-8500 Followed by Fellowship Association (760) 757-2121 ext. 8918 telephone number/website/email address, Lesbian Chat Conversation Group L.A. W30 plus Lesbian Chat (323) 461-2633 along with the name of the county, to: (323) 860-7302 Women’s Al-Anon West Hollywood FRIDAY [email protected]\ Bienestar Los Angeles (323) 727-7896 (323) 656-5336

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com The Weekender TRAVEL A Cooler-Season Playground The Fruits of Southeast Asia | By Barbara Horngren | By Barbara Horngren

kiing and snowboarding make you cold, t was a curious headline to see in the Los Angeles it’s best to wash the flesh before eating it. and you’re not interested in leaving summer Times: “Would a durian wine pass the smell test?” Sbehind, even though the calendar proclaims it IThe article it topped was about some student Sapodilla – This is a brown, apple-shaped fruit. to be October? Has Portugal’s Algarve got a late- researchers at National University of Singapore It’s eaten when ripe and soft, not hard. Peel, cut in fall or winter vacation for you! making wine from the durian fruit. half, remove the seeds, and scoop out the flesh with a spoon. The taste will remind you of honey and figs The Algarve promotes its beautiful climate, the If you are unfamiliar with durians, they are melon- and maybe even toffee. most temperate on continental Europe. Late shaped and have a custard-like flesh. Most notably, fall and winter are made up of sunny days, with they have an odor, too, a pungent scent that ranges Rambutan – It’s small and spiny and usually sold only occasional rain, and temperatures generally somewhere between that of the city dump and a on the branch. The name means “hairy” in Malay. in the 60s. The area’s tourism officials boast of rotting corpse. It’s no wonder that someone writing It’s about the size of a golf ball and bright red on the its beaches and golf facilities, too. There are about wine made from the durian would think smell outside, but there is sweet, translucent-white flesh over 60 white, sandy stretches and more than 30 could be a problem. on the inside that tastes somewhat like lychee nuts. golf courses. In fact, the Algarve won “Europe’s To eat it, use a knife and cut around the middle of Leading Golf Destination” and “Europe’s Leading Here in the U.S., we’re getting used to “exotic” fruits. the outside flesh, then peel it to get to the fruit inside. Beach Destination” titles at the World Travel For quite a few years now we’ve seen papayas and Awards 2012. kiwis in produce departments of our supermarkets, Lychee – If you’ve ever eaten at a Chinese restaurant,

stocked right along with various kinds of apples and you’re probably already familiar with lychee, which The Algarve is on the southwest tip of Europe; it’s oranges and peaches. But, even those of us who often tops off a Chinese restaurant meal. Chinese the southernmost region of Portugal and Portugal’s have traveled often in Southeast Asia still have a lot literature proclaims that lychees have been a part of most popular tourist destination. to learn about the region’s fruits. the country’s diet for more than 2,000 years. The

translucent flesh has a blandly sweet taste and is The golf courses here range from sea-level flat to some utilizing the hillsides of inland areas. As One tourism official I talked with in Malaysia said particularly high in Vitamin C. for beaches, they pretty much line the coast. You he thought the fruits of Southeast Asia were mostly can simply head for the sandy stretch nearest your overlooked by Western tourists. He proclaimed Star Fruit (Carambola) – Its waxy exterior can be hotel. It’ll be lapped by the Atlantic, and you will them “our best kept secret.” anywhere from green to golden in color; it also can have great views whether you’re looking out to sea be anywhere from tart to sweet/tart in flavor. or behind you toward limestone cliffs. If you’ve dined on the tropical fruits here, it’s difficult to understand how that could be. They not Durian – The Malays have a proverb: “The fruit is The sea is important to Portugal. Fishermen here, only have a prominent place on the table, they are paradise; its odor is hell.” Its odor is so hellish, in like their fathers and grandfathers before them, part of the culture: In almost every temple in Bali, fact, that the fruit is banned from subway stations in head out to sea for sardines and tuna and squid and for instance, assortments of fruit are offered to the Singapore and hotel rooms and planes in Indonesia. octopus. You’ll find fresh fish, grilled and drizzled gods. In the Philippines, people decorate their doors with olive oil, on menus at all the small, simple with fruit in celebration of various festivals. You Durian wine won’t be on the market anytime cafes you visit, as well as at the more upscale can find the region’s fruits in marketplaces, at soon. According to the Los Angeles Times article, restaurants. And, you’ll have a hard time choosing roadside stands and, often, on plates left in your the durian pilot study the student researchers where you had the best meal. hotel room, along with instruction cards that tell you participated in had some glitches: “There have been how to peel and eat them. Do peel them. Do eat incidents of people reportedly dying from sudden What else can you do in the Algarve? Paint – some them, too; your taste buds will thank you. cardiac problems after consuming durian and special quality in the light makes everything you alcohol together.” look at seem like a painting anyway. And you can What follows are some of the more popular fruits tour. Head to the wet and wild western Algarve, you’ll find in Southeast Asia: A spokesperson from the NUS Food Science & especially, to find surfers and dolphins and birds for Technology Programme “attributes potential fatal watching. Rose Apple (sometimes called water apple) -- The incidents to sulphur compounds in durian, but he fruit is shaped like a top, and the flesh is white or adds, “Actually, after fermentation, the sulphur When should you come if you are looking to pink, with a crisp and refreshingly tart flavor. The compounds are reduced significantly to trace levels, escape cold weather elsewhere? Now is fine. The Thais like to eat it sliced, with a salt, sugar, and chili so there should not be any safety issues.” Algarve’s main golf season is from late autumn to dip. late spring. Plus, the summertime tourists have Are there smell issues? We won’t know until the gone home, leaving the beaches, golf courses, and Mangosteen – The purple rind opens to showcase study is finished whether drinking wine made from spectacular scenery to you. a number of succulent white segments that are durians will make us think of paradise – or hell. delicately sweet and taste like a combination of For more information on Portugal’s Algarve, go to peach and pineapple. The skin of the fruit, though, [email protected] www.algarvenet.com. contains tanic acid, which isn’t particularly tasty, so

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Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com FEMASTROLOGY | By Victoria Bearden October Sun Sign Profile: (September 23-October 22)

t’s always fascinating to hear what people have to say Aries (March 21-April 19) Expect Libra (September 23-October 22) This about their own Sun Signs. “So, how do you like being the unexpected big time regarding could be one wild birthday! This month Ia Capricorn?” I asked a gal that the other day and she answered confidently, “Well, I think it’s a pretty good fit relationships! Important people in your life snaps and sizzles with change, particularly for me!” Typical practical, strong, business-like Capricorn are in transition. Keep your cool as things in the relationship zone. If you are in the answer! But when I ask most Libras the results are quite could get a little dramatic. Be cautious with mood to put yourself out there, in business or different. It usually goes something like this: “Well, yeah, you know, harmony, balance, beauty, and stuff like that… any legal issues that might crop up, they personally, you’ll be noticed. Dress up, you right?” Almost always, they want me to tell them what I could be more important than you think. are being observed. think. And there is a key to the Libra personality, they want to connect. Taurus (April 20-May 20) Pay particular Scorpio (October 23-Novemeber Don’t get me wrong, Libras have their own opinions and attention to all matters connected to 21) Time to see what condition your don’t mind expressing them. Air Signs like to talk. Libras health at the start of the month, as something condition is in. Feel like venting? Get ye to aren’t as notoriously chatty as Gemini’s but they can come in may arise suddenly that needs quick attention. your shrink. Much is stirring inside of you a close second. Cordial, engaging, charming, and persuasive, Libras often shine in professions where tact, decorum, and Keep an eye on possible fires that need to be and it behooves you to start processing it. diplomacy matter. Of course, they also make great used car put out in the work place. Stay centered! You may be privy to some stunning secrets. salesmen. When Libras piss other people off, it’s usually Will you keep them? because of their schmooze-meister tendencies, coupled with their sometimes not-so-great knack for being superficial. Gemini (May 21-June 20) Single Now, these aren’t the usual things you hear about the sign Gemini’s could be tempted to hook up Sagittarius (November 22-December of Love and Relating, but every Sun Sign has its dark side! this month, but be discriminating. You might 21) This could be a super-fantastic

Known for their refined good taste and artistic abilities, change your mind by next month in a big month for your social life. Not interested? Libras always have something to add to the style file. They way! This is a good month for getting outside Why not? If something else more serious are good to follow on Pinterest. They also tend to kick butt your comfort zone socially, and for your is on your mind, know that you are more in one-on-one sports like Martial Arts and tennis. And they creativity, so enjoy. It could be rapturous! likely to succeed this month with just about make good cops and lawyers, too, as they have a sense of justice and fair play. They can make good criminals, if they anything you try. Take advantage of it and get have a partner. Bonnie Parker of Bonnie and Clyde was a Cancer (June 21-July 21) Keep things some things moving. Libra. And they love to be in love! Bedroom hint: They say calm, cool and collected on the home Libras like to be dominated, but it’s really just a trap! You’ll be wrapped around their little fingers in no time! front, if possible. Then you will be able to Capricorn (December 22-January focus on potentially powerful opportunities 19) This will be a wild and somewhat Libra gets along with fellow air signs Gemini, Libra and for career and life direction. There could unpredictable month for you, so get yourself Aquarius, but may tend to seek out partnerships with those be some major change with a close family together right at the start. Don’t procrastinate who are more “opposite” in some ways. They can match up nicely with a powerful Scorpio or a dominant Aries or Leo. member who might need your advice or on ANYTHING. You’ll need your wits about Cancer and Capricorn might possibly be the worst match for assistance. you to take advantage of major opportunities Libra, as the tense aspects between these signs can block that could arise. intimacy, which is Libra’s main goal. Dating a Libra? Make sure you like to talk, in the bedroom, too. Leo (July 23-August 22) This could be a great month for you if you don’t end Aquarius (January 20-February 18) You Femastrology Horoscopes for October 2013 up putting your own foot deep into your should be able to take advantage of some

For all the Sun Signs: October starts out with an explosive mouth. Take care with any and all important high energy, so channel it towards something bang! Uranus in Aries, the bringer of sudden, revolutionary communication. Less is more and watch useful. If you want to go somewhere, go. If change, will be way close to Earth on the 10/4/13, opposing what you put in writing. Be particularly you want to learn something, grab onto it. the New Moon in Libra. This could stir up some major aware when traveling, both around town or Action required! drama, both personally and globally. Watch the headlines, you’ll see plenty. Mercury goes retrograde in Scorpio on further. Get your car checked out if anything October 21, 2013, but we’ll start feeling the effects much seems amiss. Pisces (February 19-March 20) A earlier, so head’s up! Get all important decision-making fascinating brew of the past colliding done during the first week of the month, or better wait until mid-November. There’s a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Aries Virgo (August 23-September 22) It’s with the future awaits this month. Use your on 10/18/13…right before Mercury Retrograde, so all I can all about the money, honey, so put some psychic skills to figure out the maze and get say is, October is going to be one wild ass month! October effort into all things fiscal this month and a hold of some things you really want and Opportunity Days: 9, 15, 16, 20, and 25. you’ll come out ahead. Respond to changes need. [email protected] or upsets with money by taking decisive action.

37 Words That make sense So Many Timesavers..So Little Time... | By Toni Hart Join us for a casual evening of fun as we sip our drinks, savor a bite to eat and enjoy the eclectic performances of Vox singers and friends! verywhere we look, everywhere we turn, we many of you still have clothes lines in your back several blocks to our home. Bring your appetite and purchase yummy sandwiches from the famous hear about new and better time gadgets that yard..if you still have a back “yard” at all? Grilled Cheese Food Truck parked right outside! Esave time. We’ve Smart Phones, IPads and House cleaning was another chore that never other tablets, Quick Wash, Quick Meals, Instant Cooking was another task that took a great deal of seemed to be finished. No sooner were you done, Saturday, October 5 Tickets Available Now Messaging and so many other gadgets and electronics time. Mixes and precooked foods were just coming it was time to do it again. That meant hauling out 7 pm - 10 pm at www.voxfeminala.org to make our life easier and more productive. in..like TV Dinners, but most of us were hesitant the big vacuum, the rags and scrub mops and the Highland Park Ebell Club or call 310-922-0025. to use them at first. Also...before you could cook newspapers to put down on the kitchen floor after Well then, how come we are all so busy? We work, you had to shop. We had much smaller markets... it was washed. Although we cleaned regularly, we $25 General Admission (open seating and cash bar for wine, beer and coffee) we play, we cook, clean, wash and use the zillion mostly mom & pop stores and although the choice really took the house apart in the spring, to make $50 VIP (includes reserved seating, table service and unlimited beverages) products that promise a quicker and easier job for was limited, the quality was so good. We didn’t sure everything was spotless. We didn’t have all whatever we need to do. However, we still find have to worry about additives or hormones in our these sprays and special soaps and cleaners either. ourselves running out of time. food because no one had thought of it yet. Milk was Bleach or ammonia were our tools of choice plus usually delivered to our door as was bread in a cute furniture oil for the wood chairs and tables. Strange isn’t it. If you are a senior like me, you can little truck that blew a whistle as it drove down our Join us for the first concert of our 17th season look back on the times before we had these perks. street. Oh and the wonders that were in the drawers I’m now in the timesaver age and still have no idea Washing was a whole day’s job...because in addition of that bread truck....cookies, cupcakes, pies and where time goes. It’s so much easier to keep things to washing and wringing out the water, the drying muffins that made our mouths water. We even had a washed and clean with the newest inventions and involved taking the clothes and sheets, etc and vegetable man who drove his truck down the streets machines...but what happened to all the time I was hanging them out on the line. To you youngsters, this every couple of days so we could purchase his farm supposed to save? must seem like an arduous task. But actually, it was fresh wares. These vendors were a great help because delightful to be out in the fresh air hanging our wash most families had only one car and ”dad” usually got [email protected] First Congregational Church of Los Angeles on the line to dry. And...oh how wonderful those that for work. So mom and the kids walked to the 540 S. Commonwealth Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90020 clothes smelled from the fresh air and sunshine. How neighborhood store and carried our purchases the Vox will be joined by members of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles Additional Performances Half the Sky: Hear Our Voices - Saturday, March 22, 2014, 8pm This Joint is Jumpin’- Saturday, June 21, 2014, 8pm Join our email list to learn about the special events and opportunities Vox is offering this season. www.voxfeminala.org | 310-922-0025

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Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com Join us for a casual evening of fun as we sip our drinks, savor a bite to eat and enjoy the eclectic performances of Vox singers and friends! Bring your appetite and purchase yummy sandwiches from the famous Grilled Cheese Food Truck parked right outside! Saturday, October 5 Tickets Available Now 7 pm - 10 pm at www.voxfeminala.org Highland Park Ebell Club or call 310-922-0025. $25 General Admission (open seating and cash bar for wine, beer and coffee) $50 VIP (includes reserved seating, table service and unlimited beverages)

Join us for the first concert of our 17th season

First Congregational Church of Los Angeles 540 S. Commonwealth Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90020 Vox will be joined by members of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles Additional Performances Half the Sky: Hear Our Voices - Saturday, March 22, 2014, 8pm This Joint is Jumpin’- Saturday, June 21, 2014, 8pm Join our email list to learn about the special events and opportunities Vox is offering this season. www.voxfeminala.org | 310-922-0025

Photo: kawaboriphotography.com

39 www.lgbtHistoryMonth.com

Lesbian News Magazine | October 2013 | www.LesbianNews.com