University of Wollongong Thesis Collections University of Wollongong Thesis Collection
University of Wollongong Year 2006
Almaviva: a contemporary adaptation of Mozart’s Le nozze di Figaro
Rachel McDonald University of Wollongong
McDonald, Rachel, Almaviva: a contemporary adaptation of Mozart’s Le nozze di Figaro, MCA-Res thesis, Faculty of Creative Arts, University of Wollongong, 2006. http://ro.uow.edu.au/theses/735
This paper is posted at Research Online. http://ro.uow.edu.au/theses/735
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This online version of the thesis may have different page formatting and pagination from the paper copy held in the University of Wollongong Library.
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ALMAVIVA
A contemporary adaptation of Mozart’s Le Nozze di Figaro
Material submitted in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the award of the degree Master of Creative Arts - Research
From
University of Wollongong
By
Rachel McDonald BA (UWA), Dip. Mus (QCM), DPA Theatre Directing (WAAPA)
Faculty of Creative Arts 2006
CERTIFICATION
I, Rachel McDonald declare that this material, submitted in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the award of Master of Creative Arts – Research, in the Faculty of Creative Arts, University of Wollongong, is wholly my own work unless otherwise referenced or acknowledged. The document has not been submitted for qualifications at any other academic institution.
Rachel McDonald
6/11/06
Date
2 CONTENTS Page number
1. Abstract 4 2. Introduction: Almaviva as adaptation 5 3. Bibliography 27 4. Almaviva scene breakdown 30 5. Almaviva text 34 6. Almaviva score follow 121
Acknowledgements:
Special thanks to my supervisor David Vance who kept me enthusiastic about the project while being understanding about my professional and domestic commitments. David also made a huge contribution as the first musical director for Almaviva. Thanks also to the following students at the University of Wollongong who helped to create the first production: Zoe Arthur, Suzie Bishop, Dominic Burke, Daniel Condon, Aaron Culligan, Lisa Hilleard, Michael Hodgetts, Travis Hodgson, Christian Lo Russo, Heather Mitchell, Brendon Taylor, Simone Tree, Andrea Zibell.
Thank you to my husband Matthew and my children Octavia, Saskia and Angus for their tolerance and support, and to my father Ted Watt for my education.
3 ABSTRACT
Almaviva: A Contemporary Adaptation of Mozart’s Le Nozze di Figaro
Almaviva is a creative project, consisting of the text and score for a musical based on Mozart’s opera Le Nozze di Figaro as well as a supporting essay on the nature of adaptation. The musical is based on a heavily reduced version of the Figaro score. Half the opera score is cut, although the “greatest hits” remain, and nearly all the recitative is replaced with dialogue.
The Almaviva text is entirely original. The new text sets the Figaro story in a contemporary work-place and has an informal, vernacular quality. It is designed for performance by six singers accompanied by a piano. The piece was first workshopped by students at the University of Wollongong in 2005, performing in a variety of vocal styles and with a very sparse set. Almaviva is designed for flexibility and for touring.
The musical does not pre-suppose any prior exposure to opera or to the Figaro story. It aims for accessibility, and seeks to avoid operatic convention wherever possible. Almaviva is an experiment which seeks to radically transform the source while preserving some of its beauty. Almaviva is not a satire, but a free-standing work which uses the opera for scaffolding.
This scaffolding includes the original score and Italian libretto, as well as the French play by Beaumarchais upon which the libretto is based. Almaviva is a third generation adaptation. The accompanying essay (Introduction) considers various aspects of adaptation, including authorship, translation, music setting and crossing genres. Central to this investigation are different ideas about fidelity to the source being adapted. For example, although Almaviva is a very free adaptation it seeks to recognise and preserve musical effect.
The essay also considers the connection between adaptation and originality. Originality seems an odd quality in an adaptation, yet adaptations are frequently original, because immersion in a deeply creative work encourages creativity. Successful adaptation releases energy in two ways: For new audiences the adaptation works like any effective work of art, and the energy is derived from the successful expression of ideas. For audiences aware of the original work there is additional energy released by the re-contextualising of the familiar. The essay deliberately avoids assessing the effectiveness of Almaviva, but describes some of the major adaptations made to the Figaro story in all its incarnations paying particular attention to Almaviva.
4 ALMAVIVA AS ADAPTATION
Sors donc, petit malheureux (Beaumarchais)
Esci omai garzon malnato (Lorenzo Da Ponte)
Out you come you little bastard! (Rachel McDonald)
These quotations all come from versions of the Figaro story. A man yells through a locked door to someone he believes to be his wife’s adolescent lover. He could just as easily be describing the process of adaptation, which also feels like the extraction of something illegitimate and seems to require the unlocking of doors.
This essay is about adaptation in musical theatre. It accompanies the musical Almaviva, an adaptation of Mozart’s opera Le Nozze di Figaro, which is in turn an adaptation of the Beaumarchais play Le Mariage de Figaro. This sequence of adaptations includes two changes of language as well as the change of emotional language introduced by Mozart in setting the story to music. This essay begins by examining some of the theoretical aspects of adaptation, including authorship, translation, and the effect of introducing music. All adapting writers seek to preserve something in the source, even when the adaptation is very free. Some adaptations stay as close to the source as possible while others take a single idea and transform it. But in every case there is a connection to the source, meaning that the notion of fidelity is central to any discussion of adaptation.
Most of the essay focuses on the practical issues involved in adapting the Figaro story, and the manner in which these issues connect with the theoretical challenges. This is achieved in two sections. Locating Almaviva is an attempt to orient the reader. It briefly describes the complicated lineage of Almaviva, and summarizes the Figaro story, paying particular attention to the adaptations made to the original play by Mozart and his librettist Lorenzo Da Ponte. The second section of the essay, Adaptation in Almaviva, considers the precedents for turning opera into musicals before examining the main features of the Almaviva adaptation in detail.
THEORETICAL ASPECTS OF ADAPTATION
If art is the mimesis of reality, there is a sense in which all creative writing can be described as adaptation. Rilke writes in his Ninth Elegy that when the
rambler returns from the mountain to the vale he carries…some hard won word, pure and simple: a blossom of gentian and blue…Could it not be that we are here to say house, bridge, cistern…but to say them in a way they themselves never knew themselves to be? (Rilke, 29-35)
Words represent reality. For Rilke words are capable of distilling and transcending reality. The last line almost suggests that words can become more powerful than the experience that engenders them. Conversely in Twilight of the Idols Nietzsche describes the inadequacy of words, the gap between words and experience; “That for which we find words is something already dead in our hearts.” (Bloom ix) In both
5 cases, we are left with a clear picture of the writer engaged in a process of translation, the translation of experience into art. Robert Frost famously described poetry as the first thing lost in translation. The Russian poet Joseph Brodsky turns this remark around: poetry is “what is gained in translation.” (Jackson 2) Frost is referring to the business of moving text from one language to another; Brodsky is extending the reference to include the translation of reality. The artist’s perception of reality is highly subjective; judgements are made about what is important and what should be discarded. These decisions always reflect the writer’s influences. Roland Barthes in his essay The Death of an Author makes the following point:
A text is not a line of words releasing a single ‘theological’ meaning (the ‘message’ of the Author-God) but a multi-dimensional space in which a variety of writings, none of them original, blend and clash. The text is a tissue of quotations drawn from the innumerable centres of culture. [The author’s] only power is to mix writings to counter the ones with the others, in such a way as never to rest on any one of them. (qtd. in Burke128)
In the above sense all art is plagiaristic. Even when adaptation is not intended, the process is corrupt. This is a liberating starting point for adaptation. To produce a new “tissue of quotations” the artist absorbs inspiration from a variety of non-original sources, sometimes including other works of art. The resulting work is free-standing and needs to succeed or fail on its own terms. Coleridge remarked in his Biographia Literia that “nothing can permanently please which does not contain in itself the reason why it is so and not otherwise.” (Coleridge 480-481) This is as true of an adaptation as it is of non-adapted work. However adaptations are often assessed with reference to the source work. Critical comparisons between first and second generation texts are a particular issue when a change of language is involved. Susan Bassnett-McGuire observes that
nothing has been so hotly debated as the question of the ‘freedom’ and/or ‘responsibility’ of the translator...questions have been raised as to whether the translator is a ‘creator’ or a ‘servant of the original’, and the greatest insult which can be hurled at a translator is the cry of inaccuracy which presupposes an ideally accurate text somewhere that someone ought to be able to produce. (qtd. in Bollen 51)
This ideally accurate text does not exist. It is unachievable because of differences between the old audience and the new audience, the source culture and the target culture. Furthermore, there are inevitable differences in perspective between the artists involved. Choices must always be made and the translator is always visible in the result. Often an attempt to minimize inaccuracy is achieved by sacrificing the energy and the colour of the original. Regardless of the intention of the translator, each translation becomes an adaptation, as original as the original work. (Akerholt 2) And if the translated work is destined for performance it will be adapted again, because both acting and directing involve interpretative adaptation. Furthermore the words themselves may be altered in rehearsal; a translation or adaptation feels less inviolable than a non-adapted work, and is much more likely to shift during the rehearsal process. (Bollen 50)
6 Perfect accuracy may not be achievable, even when it is desired. However all adapting artists are working in response to some aspect of the source, and have different ideas about what needs to be preserved. The screen-writer Daniel Taradash, who adapted From Here to Eternity, aimed “to discover the basic premise, the basic idea, the basic theme behind [the original work] and to dramatise that without making it too obvious.” (Sinyard 117) Rather than concerning himself with the author’s intentions, Taradash defines his role as one of interpretation. (Sinyard 117) Taradash is looking for the “basic theme.” But interpretation is a highly subjective affair, and in seeking the heart of something we can sometimes miss the thing itself. T.S. Eliot compares the explicit meaning of a poem to the piece of meat a burglar throws to a guard dog to keep him quiet. (qtd. in Bloomfield 121) The impression given by the source work is also important. May-Brit Akerholt, discussing the translation of Ibsen, prioritises the relationship between text and audience. Rather than focusing on what a particular Norwegian word meant in Ibsen’s time, she considers what the effect of that word might have been for the original audience. Then it is a question of recreating that effect for the target audience. It is a different kind of literalness. (Akerholt 3)
The effectiveness of an adaptation is partly a matter of selecting the right source. Michael Billington describes the effect of translating Shakespeare:
There is a mythical quality in his work which transcends language and may even be liberated by a foreign perspective…when you lose the English language and context: you release the play’s metaphorical power.” (qtd. in Gay 61)
Billington refers to a sense of scale in the text that transcends translation. The richer and more ambitious the source, the more responsive it is to adaptation. A “big” text is often more flexible, and can withstand change while offering new creative opportunities. Whether the source is the text of Romeo and Juliet or the music of Le Nozze di Figaro, it should offer room to play. When the source is well-known, the adapting writer can feel a great sense of responsibility. But what is this responsibility? Logically, the new work has no effect on the source. In a sense, translations are irrelevant to their sources, and are only of interest within the target system. An English translation of a Schubert lied can have no possible effect on that lied. This is also true of adaptation. (Toury 19) Almaviva may or may not influence its target audience but it is in no position to affect the world of Le Nozze di Figaro. It leaves Le Nozze di Figaro behind, and tries to do something different. However, audience perceptions are a different matter. Adaptation carries the risk that the work will be perceived as having failed the source. There is a corresponding benefit to this risk. The adapter may be able to do better work with the help of another artist. Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet is a better film than Moulin Rouge, partly because it has the advantage of being co-written by Shakespeare.
Another reason for the effectiveness of Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet is that it is completely filmic. Successful cross-genre adaptations usually demonstrate confident immersion in the target genre. In an operatic adaptation of a play, this is about committing to the language of music. Setting a text to music imposes an enormous shift in genre. The composer forms a personal and subjective impression of the play, and expresses this response in music. The dominating effect of music soon becomes a very strong source of information for the new audience, steering our perceptions of
7 the text towards those of the composer. Even the selection of a particular voice-type for a character is significant: tenors and basses are expected to behave differently in musical theatre. Music can also provide a sub-text that undermines the libretto, offering clues about a character’s sincerity. In Act II scene ii of Britten’s Rape of Lucretia, Lucretia emerges the morning after the rape and responds positively to the innocent enquiries of her servants Bianca and Lucia. Her responses are belied by the music. This essay examines several examples of the way in which music can colour the interpretation of text in the section on Le Nozze di Figaro.
Setting a play to music involves one set of adaptations, turning an opera into a musical involves another. Operas are usually sung throughout, so part of this process is introducing (or re-introducing) spoken text. Furthermore, the style of sung text is different in a musical: it is usually less formal and more populist. If the opera being adapted is a famous one, this change in style inevitably suggests an ironic reading of the original, regardless of the intentions of the adapter. Whether an adaptation aims to be satirical or not, decisions must be made about fidelity. In opera, most of the information lies in the score rather than the text, so one approach is to prioritise musical fidelity. This will be discussed extensively with reference to Almaviva.
LOCATING ALMAVIVA
Below is a brief summary of the lineage of the Australian musical Almaviva, a kind of family tree:
Stories and characters from
Sixteenth century commedia dell’arte scenarios (Italian)
Combine with
Sixteenth century picaresque literature (Spanish )
And
French comedy in the tradition of Molière
To influence
The Beaumarchais play Le Mariage de Figaro (1778, first public performance 1784) French text, but set in a foreigner’s idea of a Spanish court Sixteen characters including chorus. Five acts.
Forming the source text for
Lorenzo Da Ponte’s libretto Le Nozze di Figaro (1786) Written in collaboration with Mozart Italian text, but still set in Spain Eleven characters plus chorus Four acts
8
Providing the libretto for
Mozart’s opera Le Nozze di Figaro (1786) Written in collaboration with Da Ponte Eleven characters, chorus, conductor and orchestra Four acts Sung throughout
The opera combines with the following influences
Cross-genre adaptations like the musical Carmen Jones and the Baz Luhrmann film Romeo and Juliet, as well as various directorial interpretations of Le Nozze di Figaro
Forming the source for
Rachel McDonald’s musical Almaviva (2005) Contemporary text in English Spoken and sung Action is set in a contemporary work-place No chorus Six characters Four short acts Orchestra replaced by piano
Almaviva is clearly a deeply illegitimate work forming part of an ongoing process of adaptation, translation and cultural appropriation. In order to clarify these transformations it is worth summarizing the Figaro plot as it appears in both the Beaumarchais play and the Mozart opera. The operatic versions of all the proper names are used throughout to prevent confusion, eg. Barbarina rather than Fanchette.
The action takes place near Seville at Aguas Frescas, the estate of the philandering Count Almaviva. His valet Figaro is illegitimate but a man of great natural ability, and subversive wit. He is engaged to the equally quick-witted Susanna, maid to the Countess. The story is driven by their desire to get married and the obstacles they encounter. Because Figaro’s parents are unknown he is unacceptable to Susanna’s guardian, the drunken gardener Antonio. Furthermore, Figaro once borrowed money from the ageing Marcellina, promising to marry her if he defaulted on the debt. Marcellina intends to hold him to his promise and is assisted by the irascible Dr. Bartolo, who was once Marcellina’s lover and now sees the possibility of marrying her off to Figaro as a means of getting rid of her. Dr Bartolo is also motivated by hatred of Figaro, who previously arranged the Count’s seduction of Dr Bartolo’s highly desirable ward Rosina, now the Countess. Despite the constancy of the Countess, the Count has tired of marriage and is serially unfaithful. Currently he is pursuing Figaro’s fiancée Susanna. The Count wishes to revive an ancient feudal right to deflower all virgins on his estate, the droit-de-seigneur. His approaches to Susanna are made through his obsequious side-kick Basilio, the music-teacher. Further complications are caused by Cherubino, an over-sexed adolescent page-boy in love with the Countess, and by the gardener’s daughter Barbarina, in love with Cherubino.
9
The story takes place over one day, the day set for the wedding of Figaro and Susanna. It follows their attempts to outwit the Count and his attempts to seduce Susanna, as well as the efforts of the Countess to win back her husband, Marcellina’s plan to marry Figaro, and various crises caused by the bad behaviour of Cherubino. Traps are set to expose the Count, with Susanna as the bait. The plot relies heavily on mistaken identities, anonymous letters and other classic devices of situation comedy, most of which fail. As the wedding draws nearer there is a constant feeling of time pressure in the piece, and a quality of desperate improvisation to all the scheming. The Countess and Susanna overcome class differences and work together to foil the Count. Figaro is revealed to be the long-lost son of Marcellina and Bartolo. Marcellina is of course unable to marry Figaro and releases him from his debt. We witness a double wedding (Figaro and Susanna, and Bartolo and Marcellina): a comically neat expression of the resolution of conflict. Later, the Count is outwitted and publicly exposed, the Countess accepts his apology, and the servants are vindicated.
The author of this story is Beaumarchais but it draws on numerous literary traditions, none of which are extensively investigated here. Many of the characters come straight from the scenarios of the commedia-dell’arte, for example the cheeky servant, the irascible doctor, and the desperate older woman. The character of Figaro is also clearly recognisable as a picaro; there is a sense of him as a mischievous and intelligent adventurer without roots or the advantages of noble birth. Beaumarchais’ work is also part of the sophisticated and highly verbal tradition of French comedy, connecting to playwrights like Molière. There are further connections with Beaumarchais’ Spanish contemporary Lope de Vega; his play Peribanez also depicts a working class couple trying to evade the sexual attentions of a powerful man in a Spanish setting. All these influences form something new: earthier and more political than Molière, more sophisticated than commedia and more theatrical than a picaresque novel.
Le Mariage de Figaro (1778) is the second play in a trilogy by Beaumarchais, and the most explosively political. Louis XVI read the script and described it as “detestable, it will never be played.” (Broder vii) Private performances were given in the homes of the aristocracy but all public performances were forbidden in Paris until 1784. The first public production was extremely popular; running for sixty-eight performances. (Broder vii) Napoleon later described the controversial play as “the Revolution already in action.” (Broder viii) Le Mariage de Figaro was politically sensitive because of the unflattering depiction of the ruling classes and because of the character of Figaro. Figaro directly challenges the class system that holds him back in his Act V monologue, and is continuously insubordinate to the Count, particularly in their verbal duel at the beginning of Act III. The play makes it clear that Figaro is the better man despite his disadvantages and the story ends with the public humiliation of his over-lord. All of this is done with energy and wit, and at all times the play feels like comedy.
The idea of adapting this popular play for opera would have been as natural as turning a best-seller into a screen-play. At the time, texts swung quite freely between theatre and musical theatre. In fact the first play in the Beaumarchais trilogy Le Barbiere de Séville was originally conceived by Beaumarchais as a libretto for operatic treatment.
10 After being rejected by the Opéra Comique it was re-written as a very successful play. (Wood 19) Paisiello made an opera from it in 1776 which was also popular. (Kerman 102) So both Le Mariage de Figaro and Le Nozze di Figaro were sequels, guaranteed of an audience.
ADAPTATION IN LE NOZZE DI FIGARO
There are two sets of adaptations in the opera, those made by Da Ponte to the text and those made by Mozart through the music. The Beaumarchais play is very long and intricate. It is more difficult to follow a complicated plot in an opera, because sung words are harder to understand. Furthermore, it takes longer to sing words than to say them so the adapting librettist usually has to reduce the text. The play is significantly reduced by Da Ponte and despite the extra time required to sing the text, the play and the opera have the same running time. Sixteen characters are reduced to eleven, and five acts become four. Opportunities are found for set-pieces, particularly arias. The character of Susanna is transformed by the introduction of the aria “Deh vieni non tardar”, in which she declares her passionate physical love for Figaro while punishing him for jealousy by allowing him to believe the aria is directed to the Count. (Smidgall 96) There is no corresponding soliloquy in Beaumarchais. Another structural alteration affects the Countess. In the play, the Countess has an insignificant appearance in a crowd scene at the end of Act I. Da Ponte delays her entrance until the beginning of Act II, introducing her with the very personal aria Porgi Amor. Although the plot is streamlined, it remains unusually complicated, with large amounts of dense information exchanged in recitative. It is not an easy opera for the uninitiated.
Many of Da Ponte’s alterations were motivated by a desire to get the libretto past the censors as the play had been controversial. Writing to Emperor Joseph II, Da Ponte claimed to have “left out and shortened whatever might offend the refinement and decorum of an entertainment at which your Majesty presides.” (Smidgall 92) Above all, this meant significant changes to Figaro, the most subversive character in the play. The Figaro of the opera is not as charismatic, not as bitter and not as dangerous. (Smidgall 102) He is focused on his marriage, rather than self-determination. And the two most subversive parts of the play are altered. The verbal duel between the Count and Figaro is omitted entirely; in fact the libretto is careful never to leave the two characters alone together. Furthermore Figaro’s Act V tirade about class repression is diverted to a safer target in the opera. Here it becomes a diatribe about women, the aria Aprite un po’ quelgli occhi. (Smidgall 92)
The character of the Count’s henchman Basilio is transformed by both Mozart and Da Ponte. His Act IV aria In quegli anni has no basis in Beaumarchais. Da Ponte’s Basilio describes a formative experience in which he covered himself in a rotting donkey skin to deter a predator. On a psychological level, this aria is a disturbing picture of self-degradation; it is also a lecture about Realpolitik and survival. The political cynicism of the libretto at this point could have come straight from Beaumarchais, but the words are Da Ponte’s. The subversiveness of the aria is defused because it is given to a character we have been taught to despise. Furthermore the aria is in the form of a fable, making it slightly oblique (Smidgall 92):
Ma il fiuto ignobile del mio vestito
11 Tolse alla belva sì l’appetito Che, disprezzandomi si rinselvò Cosi conoscere mi fe la sorte Ch’onte, perigli, vergogna, e morte Col cuoio d’asino fuggir si può.
(the foul smell of my donkey’s hide disgusted the beast and it ran away.) This is how I learnt that shame, dangers, humiliation and death can be avoided by wearing a donkey’s hide.) (Music #25)
The music is suffused with a false and desperate cheeriness which pushes against the darkness of the text and increases the pathos. Mozart clearly expects us to sympathize with Basilio because he is given a chance to express his pain. Basilio’s counterpart in the play is utterly without redeeming features. The play is wittier, more aggressive and less idealistic than the opera. The play focuses on retribution, but the opera is about redemption. This is partly because of the cuts to the text, and partly because Mozart’s music sometimes adds a vertical or idealistic dimension to the story. Porgi amor presents the Countess examining her hopeless love for the undeserving Count. The music is slow, beautiful and completely without anger. It encourages us to identify with her. The play allows us more detachment.
The transcendent aspect of the opera is nowhere more obvious than at the climax of Act 4. The Count, publicly exposed and humiliated, begs his wife for forgiveness, and after a long moment she grants it. The music at this point is like a hymn. Stunned by her generosity, all the other characters join in, even the cynical Basilio. We know the Count is highly likely to re-offend, but because of the music we don’t care. In a different piece the audience might laugh at this point; in Le Nozze di Figaro they are more likely to cry. The corresponding moment in the play feels like a deus-ex- machina solution. Without music, it is hard to make the Countess’ magnanimity stand up to such a wordly environment. We have difficulty suspending our cynicism. Joseph Kerman made the following comparison of both endings:
With Beaumarchais, the reconciliation is nothing- worse than nothing, it suggests fatally that the intricate plot had beaten the author, and that clemency was the only way he saw to unravel it. As for Da Ponte, here is his contribution: COUNT: Contessa perdono Forgive me Countess! COUNTESS: Più docile io sono e dico di sì I am more gentle and answer yes. ALL: Ah tutti contenti saremo così We are all delighted to have it end thus. With this miserable material before him, Mozart built a revelation, and saw how it could be supported by other elements in Beaumarchais’ scaffolding. In opera, the dramatist is the composer. (Kernan 108)
Kernan is too dismissive of Beaumarchais, but he is right about the effect of the music on the text. He is also correct in regarding Mozart’s opera as a completely new work, which only uses the play for “scaffolding.” Almaviva uses the opera in a similar way.
12 ADAPTATION IN ALMAVIVA
Almaviva is a very free adaptation, and it is an adaptation that crosses genres. In both of these respects it is influenced by pieces like Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet, which turns a sixteenth century play into a contemporary film set in a Latino fantasy land. There are many other examples of books or plays becoming musicals or films, including West Side Story, Guys and Dolls, My Fair Lady and Oliver. But Almaviva is something different, a musical made from an opera. In this respect Almaviva is almost without precedent. Rent is loosely based on the Bohème story, and Miss Saigon parallels Madame Butterfly, however neither of these musicals retains the original score, as Almaviva does. The closest precedent for Almaviva is Carmen Jones, a 1943 adaptation of Bizet’s Carmen by Oscar Hammerstein. Like Almaviva, this adaptation makes cuts to the score but leaves the rest of the music alone, as well as replacing recitative with dialogue. The original French text is translated and re-located to South Carolina during World War II. All the cast are African-American and the piece trades on the success of Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess (1935), another white view of a black world. The tobacco factory where Carmen works becomes a parachute factory. Don Jose, becomes Corporal Joe. Escamillo the bullfighter becomes Husky Miller, a boxer. (Woll186). Like Almaviva, Carmen Jones targeted a wider market than the traditional opera audience. Howard Barnes reviewing Carmen Jones for the New York Herald Tribune wrote that “it opens infinite and challenging horizons for the fusion of the two art forms (opera and musical).” (Woll 189)
Unfortunately these horizons remain largely unexplored, and Carmen Jones is almost without successors. This is surprising as it was very successful at the time. It was frequently re-mounted and eventually made into a film starring Harry Belafonte and Dorothy Dandridge. Perhaps there is less public interest in opera than there once was, and less expectation that opera can provide accessible entertainment. Almaviva was partly written in an attempt to bridge this gap.
Mozart’s work is particularly inviting to an adapting artist: there is an open- mindedness about Mozart that seems to give permission. Le Nozze di Figaro has attracted countless translations. Einstein’s edition of the Köchel catalogue of Mozart’s music lists fourteen versions in German alone. (Broder ix) Figaro has also attracted all sorts of directorial interpretations including the celebrated Peter Sellars production from the late eighties which transposes the action to an apartment in the Trump tower in New York. However Figaro can be a difficult piece to stage: it runs for four hours including intervals, the libretto is in Italian, the plot is absurdly complicated and it requires eleven operatic soloists, a chorus, a conductor, and an orchestra. Almaviva runs for two hours and assumes no prior exposure to the Figaro story or to opera. It is designed to be performed by six developing singers accompanied by a piano. It is also a useful educational piece, partly because it is easy enough to be performed by tertiary students, and partly because the colloquial libretto makes it accessible. Most importantly Almaviva is intended to work as a freestanding piece for a non-operatic audience. It aims to be more than an ironic commentary on Figaro and opera. There are a few moments of operatic satire, and to anyone familiar with the opera a satirical reading is probably inevitable, but that is not what the piece is about. To return to Coleridge’s words, “nothing can permanently please which does not contain in itself the reason why it is so and not otherwise.” (Coleridge 480-481) If it is to work at all Almaviva has to be about more than just Le Nozze di Figaro.
13
Like all adaptations, Almaviva reveals the adapter as well as the source. In this case the adapter is a former opera singer now working as a writer and director. I am also white, Australian, tertiary-educated, and female. Feminist literary theory recognises a particular anxiety among female authors about the place occupied by their work in the canon. (Burke 145) It certainly feels odd being the first woman in the Figaro family tree described above. Gender inevitably affected my selection process, particularly in the area of characterization. However my background as a musician is just as significant, affecting the priority given to musical information in the source. All adaptations seek to preserve something in the source: for Akerholt it is the effect of words, for the screenwriter Taradash it is the “basic theme.” My primary consideration was fidelity to Mozart. This was a higher priority than fidelity to Beaumarchais or Da Ponte, and I felt that without it the piece would fail. The pianist plays from a Figaro piano reduction with the new text written in and the music is not transposed. However after this point any focus on musical fidelity may not be immediately apparent. Cherubino is sung by a mezzo-soprano in the opera. In the first production of Almaviva, Cherubino was successfully sung down the octave by a male pop singer who had appeared on Australian Idol. The score can be performed in a mixture of styles; it is designed for flexibility. There are vast cuts: over half of the opera is gone including nearly all of the recitative and most of the virtuosic coloratura sections. The numbers that remain are the “greatest hits”. One number is heard out of sequence, the Count/Susanna duet Crudel, perchè finora (I can’t believe you made me wait.)
Mozart purists might regard Almaviva as a desecration but the idea of musical fidelity is not the exclusive province of the early music movement, which emphasizes “authenticity”. (Indeed there is some question about our ability to achieve an “authentic” performance; it is as unreachable as a literal translation.) Like Akerholt, I tried to imagine the original effect on the original audience, and extended that effect as far as it would go. There is an enormous amount of emotional information embedded in Mozart’s score, and my (highly subjective) analysis of this information formed the parameters of Almaviva. Sometimes this took me a long way from the source text. This is my adaptation of Porgi Amor:
Once again our anniversary Goes unnoticed except by me What ever happened to our passion? Why isn’t life like “B&B”? Can’t it be like on TV? I remember how we used to Stay in bed all day till three. Now I’m nothing to my baby. So there’s nothing left for me. But I can’t walk free. No my baby doesn’t love me. Must be how it’s meant to be. (Music #7)
It reads like a country-and-western song; the female victim expressing herself informally to a sympathetic audience in comically obvious rhymes. This is a long way from Da Ponte:
14
Porgi amor, qualche ristoro Al mio duolo miei sospir O mi rendi il mio tesoro O mi lascia almen morir
(Grant, love some comfort to my grief, to my sighs Either restore to me my treasure or let me die.) (Music #10)
Oddly enough, the adapted text sits quite well with the music which is intimate and simple, as well as being sufficiently dignified to counteract sentimentality. As I wrote Almaviva I would listen to the score repeatedly, trying out new words. If the words made a liar of the music I changed them. On the other hand, if I thought I could use the words to underline or extend a musical effect I always did, sometimes by putting the punch-line right on a cadence, sometimes by withholding information where the music indicated suspense. In the Act II trio Susanna, or via sortite, the Count and Countess are arguing about the person locked in the wardrobe. She says it is Susanna, he believes it is a man. At one point (bars 62-72) they take turns to sing in short phrases, partly at each other, and partly at the supposed “Susanna” locked in the wardrobe. His phrases ascend threateningly one at a time. Hers are high in the range, screamed and desperate, and the last one moves to a slightly feminine and unconvincing cadence. There is a strong sense of face-to-face escalation in the music, moving to a comically indignant attempt by her to close the conflict down. Da Ponte’s words are highly effective but slightly repetitive;
COUNT: Susanna COUNTESS: Fermatevi (stop) COUNT: Or via sortite! (come out now) COUNTESS: Sentite (listen) COUNT: Sortite (come out) COUNTESS: Fermatevi (stop) COUNT: Io cosi vo! (I want you to) COUNTESS: Sortire ella non puo. (She is unable to come out.) (Music #15)
The Almaviva text aims to underline the escalation in the music with words that are clearly escalating as well. The text also tries to capture the beaten-but-won’t-admit-it quality in Mozart’s cadential line, as the Countess explains why Susanna is not answering:
ALMAVIVA: Susanna! ROSINA: Don’t listen dear! ALMAVIVA: Come out this instant! ROSINA: No stay there! ALMAVIVA: I mean it! ROSINA: You work for me! ALMAVIVA: I pay your wage! ROSINA: She’s got her headphones on. (Music #9)
15 Later on, after the argument has become much uglier, the door opens. They are both expecting to see Cherubino. Instead, Susanna walks out (wearing the previously mentioned headphones.) Mozart’s music is comically slow, presentational and smug in contrast to the preceding hysteria. It is a minuet, and both the formality and the courtly dance reference feel deeply ironic in context. Susanna enjoys this moment immensely. The Almaviva version attempts to support the irony in the music:
SUSANNA: Well hi there! (Pause) Don’t all talk at once now! (Indicates the golf-club in his hand) My that’s a big weapon For such a small problem The “deviant little bastard” Is standing right here. (Music #11)
Almaviva might be irreverent but at this point and every other it attempts to recognise and respect musical effect.
Many of the musical cuts in Almaviva relate to a major structural alteration: the elimination of the entire sub-plot about Figaro’s unknown parentage and the debt to Marcellina. The initial intention was to retain the sub-plot and several scenes were written for Bartolo and Marcellina. At the beginning of Le Nozze di Figaro there is a bitchy duet between Susanna and Marcellina, in which they trade backhanded compliments. Marcellina is accusing Susanna of trying to advance herself by inviting the Count’s attentions. Susanna lands a few low blows herself. Here is an excerpt from Da Ponte’s version:
MARCELLINA: Del Conte la bella (The Count’s favourite) SUSANNA: Di Spagna l’amore (The love of all Spain) MARCELLINA: I meriti (Your qualities) SUSANNA: L’abito (Your dress) MARCELLINA: Il posto (Your station) SUSANNA: L’età (Your age) MARCELLINA: Per Bacco precipito, se ancor resto qua! (By God, if I don’t leave I’ll explode.) (Music #5)
Here is the same section from the first draft of Almaviva:
MARCELLINA: The boss’s call-girl SUSANNA: The office bicycle MARCELLINA: Lewinsky SUSANNA: Surgery MARCELLINA: Your wardrobe
16 SUSANNA: Your age MARCELLINA: That bitch I could strangle her I’m overcome with rage.
This duet worked well, but the exposition of all the business about the debt felt tedious and implausible. The sub-plot is difficult to update. Illegitimacy is no longer the obstacle it once was and the idea of a woman forcing a man to marry her as security for a debt is ridiculous, even by the standards of the Figaro plot. Furthermore, the characters involved in the sub-plot are the broadest characters in the opera, the most commedia. In some respects Almaviva is a reasonably naturalistic piece, and it was hard to find a style for these characters. After the cut, Almaviva instantly became tighter, shorter, and more contemporary. Eleven characters became six: Rocco and Rosina Almaviva, (the original Count and Countess), Figaro, Susanna, Cherubino and Basilio. With the chorus gone and only two of the minor characters retained the focus on the two couples becomes acute. I will briefly discuss the main adaptations made to all six characters.
Susanna is Rosina Almaviva’s personal assistant, and would very much like to be transferred to something more challenging. Almaviva is aware of this, and uses it as bait in his attempts to seduce her. If she complies, she will be transferred. If not, she and Figaro will both be sacked. It is a contemporary sexual-harassment situation. Susanna’s ambitions are essential for dramatic leverage because Almaviva minimises the issue of her virginity, which provides so much leverage in both the play and the opera. In the Figaro story, the Count is constantly trying to delay the wedding, so as to exercise his feudal droit-de-seigneur and deflower Susanna before Figaro does. Figaro and the Count are locked into a race. Susanna’s virginity is a commodity that drives the plot rather than a private matter. Almaviva deliberately side-steps the issue, however I did re-instate an exchange from the first scene of the play that never made it to the opera:
Figaro: C’est que tu n’as pas d’idée de mon amour (You have no idea how much I love you) Suzanne: Quand cesserez-vous importun, de m’en parler du matin au soir? (When will you stop saying that from morning till night?) Figaro: Quand je pourrai te le prouver du soir jusqu’au matin. (When I can prove it from night till morning)
Susanna manipulates Almaviva at one point by hinting at her inexperience, an inexperience which may or may not be assumed. In both the play and the opera, Susanna’s sexual status is a plot device. In Almaviva it is none of our business.
Susanna’s professional ambitions also replace the issue of Figaro’s debt, which is part of the discarded sub-plot. In the opera, Figaro’s debt provides a plausible motive for Susanna’s approach to the Count before the duet Crudel, perchè finora. Susanna leads the Count to believe that she will comply with his request if he agrees to give her a dowry. He knows she needs the money to pay Figaro’s debt and facilitate the wedding so her offer becomes erotically transactional. This is the Almaviva equivalent:
ALMAVIVA: I can’t believe you made me wait till your wedding day When up till now
17 You looked the other way. SUSANNA: You ought to know by now sir Women like to play ALMAVIVA: Maybe you’re still just playing SUSANNA: I want that transfer sir ALMAVIVA: What are you really saying? SUSANNA: I’m ready to defer. ALMAVIVA: You mean it? SUSANNA: Yeah ALMAVIVA: Won’t contravene it? SUSANNA: No ALMAVIVA: It’s an agreement? SUSANNA: Yes, I concur. I want that transfer sir. (Music #15)
Figaro is Almaviva’s right-hand man, which is why Almaviva tolerates his insubordinate behaviour. Figaro’s professional status is clear enough but other aspects of the character have required post-production revision. In strengthening Susanna, Figaro tended to fade away. He was also negatively affected by the cuts, losing not only the beautiful moment of finding his parents, but also the Act II scene in which he proposes a hair-brained scheme to the women. This clarifies the plot but makes his character slightly passive. As he says in Almaviva at the end of Act II, he is “out of the loop.” (In the Figaro story none of his schemes work anyway, and it is the women who have to save the day in the end.) The exception to this passive trend in Almaviva is the conception of Figaro’s second aria Non più andrai. In the opera, this aria is a moment of comic aggression, delivered publicly to a terrified Cherubino who has just been sent to the front-line by the Count. The Almaviva text dispenses with Cherubino at this point and the aggression in the aria is all re-directed towards Almaviva. Figaro and Almaviva are the only characters on-stage. I am attempting to quote a scene from the play that was not included in Le Nozze di Figaro, the verbal duel between the Count and Figaro in Act III. This is achieved through the onstage execution of a plan that happens offstage in the opera and is later recounted in a lengthy explanatory recitative. The recitative reveals that Figaro has forged and planted an anonymous letter to the Count suggesting that the Countess has a lover. Figaro’s goal is to distract the Count from Susanna by forcing his focus elsewhere. Figaro is also motivated by revenge, he feels jealous and insecure about Susanna and he wants the Count to feel the same way about his own wife. In Almaviva, the letter is personally delivered onstage, reducing exposition and increasing risk. Almaviva is already tense as he is expecting a conference call about a business loan. Knowing that Almaviva has to answer that call, Figaro times the conversation so that the phone will start ringing just as he starts to read the letter:
As a colleague I’ve always been loyal And so far you’ve rewarded my toil When I found this I thought Almaviva Needs to see it as soon as he can It’s a letter addressed to Rosina And I think it was sent by a man. (Almaviva starts out the door after Cherubino) No sir I doubt that it’s from Cherubino
18 Can’t imagine him writing “tesoro” I would say this is from another More experienced Italian lover Just as well that she’s satisfied There’s no way That she would stray But this guy Well he might try You can’t be too careful If you asked me to make a suggestion I would say play it cool, ask no questions Even give her some extra attention Watch her closely to see if it’s true (Almaviva has had enough) Then again, you’re the boss. Did I mention There’s a conference call scheduled for two? (Phone starts to ring on the table. Almaviva goes for it but Figaro holds him off and starts to read letter) “To Rosina Almaviva Mio carissimmo tesor Don’t resist me any longer Underneath you long for more Let me take you through that door Be my mistress, be my whore.” (Almaviva lunges at Figaro during the playout but is forced to answer the phone instead. Playout stops.) ALMAVIVA: Almaviva speaking. (Playout continues. He snatches the letter from Figaro. Exit Almaviva. Scene change over the playout) (Music #6)
Rocco and Rosina Almaviva are not aristocratic at all, but they are very rich. Rocco Almaviva is more interested in power than finesse. Almaviva as a title refers to the unspecified company he owns; it is like naming the opera after the Count’s estate, Aguas Frescas. Nevertheless, Almaviva effectively has the title role and he is certainly a more central character than his operatic counterpart. This is partly a result of the discarding of the sub-plot and the consequential weakening of the focus on Figaro. Both confident and insecure, Almaviva is troubled by the lack of idealism in his own life, and feels immensely competitive with Figaro. Almaviva’s obsession with Susanna is partly connected to her relationship with Figaro. He wants her because subconsciously he believes she is the key to something he lacks but Figaro possesses. All of this is most explicitly released in his recitative and aria, delivered in a passageway outside the toilets at Figaro and Susanna’s wedding reception. This is one of the only recitatives retained in the adaptation:
So you think this is over Let me tell you I am just getting started Yesterday… That letter…
19 Rosina and the scene in the bedroom Something went on there But I’m still in the dark I still don’t get it Don’t know why it affects me. This wedding And their reception. She doesn’t want me And Figaro thinks that he’s my equal And worst of all they seem to be so happy. While my wife plays the martyr And treats me like a monster They will learn who’s in charge here The game is over (Music #12)
Rosina Almaviva is a bourgeois princess. She has better manners than her husband and probably believes herself to have married down. Rosina has some sort of sinecure at the firm but her real work is the corporate-wife round of opening nights and charity balls, all scheduled by her assistant Susanna. She would prefer to be in bed watching the day-time soaps, home-shopping and plucking her eye-brows. Neglected by her husband she has become bored, depressed and fatally passive. When she believes her husband is about to discover Cherubino in the walk-in wardrobe, she is suddenly galvanised into action, and later develops the confidence to take action to solve her problems. This is an excerpt from the sung part of that scene. They are both singing at the same time:
ROSINA: Don’t you use that sort of language ALMAVIVA: This is deviant behaviour ROSINA: Don’t you talk to me that way ALMAVIVA: And he’s underage as well ROSINA: I am not a cocktail waitress… Or a stripper ALMAVIVA: It’s perverted and illegal And I’m going to make you pay ROSINA: Don’t you talk to me that way ALMAVIVA: Where’s that key? ROSINA: He didn’t do it. ALMAVIVA: Where’s that key? ROSINA: He didn’t do it And you know it! (Music #11)
Rosina is strengthened slightly by the re-instating of two Beaumarchais lines that are watered down in the opera. When Almaviva believes Susanna to be locked in his walk-in wardrobe he says he wants to see her. His wife replies “Yes I’ve been hearing a lot about that” signalling that she has discovered his designs on Susanna. When he goes on to say he is prepared to see Susanna half-dressed if necessary, Rosina replies “I may not be able to prevent that elsewhere but you’d THINK that in my own bedroom…” The Beaumarchais Countess is slightly feistier than her noble operatic counterpart. Almaviva is closer to the play in this respect.
20 The character of Basilio expands considerably, partly because it has to absorb another minor character from the opera; Antonio the drunken gardener. Like Bartolo and Marcellina, Antonio is too commedia for Almaviva, and he is mainly connected with the discarded sub-plot. However some of Antonio’s material had to be retained, as he is pivotal to the primary plot at one point during the Act II finale. Antonio bursts into the Countess’ bedroom in a drunken rage claiming to have seen someone jump from the window. This disclosure puts the heat on the Countess, who is trying to convince her husband that she is not having an affair. In Almaviva Antonio’s lines are appropriated by Basilio, who also inherits Antonio’s drinking problem. Unlike Antonio, Basilio is not a rustic drunk, so the comedy lies in the catastrophic overcoming of inhibitions and his professional self-destructiveness, rather than muddy footprints and the smell of manure in an aristocrat’s bedroom. There were some reservations about Basilio, a tenor, singing a section of music written for a bass. However in performance this somehow seemed consistent with inebriation. Basilio is an alcoholic with self-esteem problems. He is the company accountant, well-educated but bitter. Painfully aware of getting older, he realises the more capable Figaro is probably replacing him as Almaviva’s right-hand man. Basilio secretly idolises Almaviva and is personally devastated by the events of Act I, in which he is embarrassed in front of his boss, and eventually asked to leave. Consequently he gets drunk and gate-crashes the Act II finale in Rosina’s bedroom, feeling like he has nothing to lose. Here is an excerpt from that section:
BASILIO: ‘Scuse me Sir A word… ALMAVIVA: You been drinking? BASILIO: There’s a problem we need to discuss. FIGARO, ROSINA, SUSANNA and ALMAVIVA: This is not the appropriate venue BASILIO: Just a minute FIGARO, ROSINA, SUSANNA and ALMAVIVA: Get out of her (my) room BASILIO: Just a minute! FIGARO, ROSINA, SUSANNA and ALMAVIVA: Get out of her (my) room BASILIO: Now that Figaro’s clearly replaced me I’m aware I’m no longer required I’m not drunk but I’m teary and tired And there’s something I think you should know (Music #11)
Basilio’s major scene is in Act IV. Unlike Beaumarchais, Mozart allows us to empathize with Basilio. This intention is extended in Almaviva through a private monologue in which Basilio reveals his feelings. He is on top of the Almaviva sky- scraper. Figaro and Susanna’s wedding reception is being held downstairs. Basilio has escaped for a minute with a bottle:
(looking down) There’s my car. The second-best car in the staff carpark! Only Mr Almaviva has a better car than me. Not that anyone cares. Now now, I shouldn’t talk like that. What would Dr Bartolo say? There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a good car. What did he tell me to work on this week? Ah yes. Self-loathing. Look, there’s Figaro’s car. Right underneath me.
21 Why do people drive those ugly things? He’ll probably trade-up now he’s a senior executive. Somebody’s put one of those wedding dolls on the front. A lifeless symbol. Probably grinning. I know how she feels. HELLO! HELLO DOWN THERE! (waits for the reply) Rude bitch. (Pause) Maybe she can’t hear me. I could always go down and make sure. They’d all come out of the reception, throwing bouquets and there I’d be. Splattered all over the windscreen. What would they say? Poor old Bazza, ever the drama queen. No quiet little overdose at home for Baz. Would he miss me? Probably not. But that wouldn’t matter because I’d be dead. Dead. Deadybones. (talking to his drink) My consolation. Let’s never never fight again. I have no idea how we stayed apart for so long. Absolutely miserable, and there’s no point. No point. Gorgeous night. Look at those stars… (falls asleep) (Scene 24)
The character of Cherubino is also substantially transformed because the voice-type is reassigned. Beaumarchais wrote this role for a boy, but in his time it was usually played by a woman. In the opera the role is sung by a woman pretending to be a boy. In Almaviva, Cherubino is a male role. The role is sung by a tenor, singing the mezzo- soprano line un-transposed but an octave down. This works surprisingly well, and as Cherubino is not in many of the Almaviva ensembles the question of balance is largely irrelevant. The character of Cherubino was described by his creator Beaumarchais as “mischievous and overheated like all precocious lads of thirteen or fourteen” (Broder x ) Male sexuality in early adolescence is simultaneously sweet and ridiculous; female Cherubinos frequently seem arch and affected instead. Inevitably they are also less sexually threatening; it is usually very hard to believe that the same character fathers the Countess’ child in La Mère Coupable, the third play of the Beaumarchais trilogy. The suspension of disbelief required from an audience watching a “trouser role” is part of what can make opera inaccessible and it seemed inappropriate for Almaviva. As well as being assigned to a male performer, Cherubino is given the most meta- theatrical moment in Almaviva. His second aria, Voi che Sapete, is one of Mozart’s best-known melodies. This aria is meta-theatrical in the opera too, a performance given for the Countess, with Susanna accompanying on guitar. I wanted to find an equivalent context, and to comment on the cliché that the aria has become. So I left it in Italian, the only un-translated number in the show, and he performs it with a karaoke machine.
Almaviva seeks to avoid operatic implausibility. The gender of the performer playing Cherubino is one example. Another structural example affects the Act II trio, Susanna, or via sortite. In the opera, the Count and the Countess are having an argument in her bedroom about the fact that somebody is obviously locked in the wardrobe. Susanna is hiding in the bedroom too. According to operatic convention we are required to believe that the Count and Countess are unaware of Susanna, despite the fact that she is in the same room singing at the top of her voice. In Almaviva, the trio is retained but Susanna sings from another location. This is established in a sequence of short scenes (scenes 10-15). Before the trio starts, Rosina finds a reason to send Susanna to the shop over the road. Rosina is trying to spend some time alone in the bedroom with Cherubino. This scene freezes at one point and there is a short scene played at the shop at another part of the stage. While Susanna is there, she sees Almaviva’s car pull up. Immediately she recognises the danger of Cherubino being discovered. Although she is on the other side of the road she is able to see what is happening through the upstairs bedroom window. Almaviva enters the bedroom and
22 starts arguing with his wife. The trio begins with Susanna singing her part from over the road, looking through the window. At the end of the trio, she creates a diversion by setting off Almaviva’s car alarm, and uses the opportunity to sneak back in and save Cherubino. This sequence owes more to film than opera.
Another alteration reduces some of the complications of Acts III. In the opera there are two attempts to set up the Count with Susanna as the bait. Act III starts with Crudel, perchè finora, the duet between the Count and Susanna in which she promises to meet him later. Figaro approves of this plan; in fact it fails because the Count overhears Figaro and Susanna discussing it. Later in the duet Sull’ aria the Countess talks Susanna into making another approach, this time through a letter. This second plan is not discussed with Figaro who is devastated to discover it accidentally, as he believes Susanna is betraying him. In Almaviva, there is only one assignation, and Figaro is unaware of it. The assignation is organised by Susanna and Rosina during Sull’ aria, communicated to Almaviva in Crudel perchè finora, and revealed to Figaro immediately afterwards when he finds the note written to Almaviva by Susanna. The Almaviva re-structuring means that the duet Crudel, perchè finora is heard out of sequence. However it has the advantage of simplicity, and it facilitates the removal of Barbarina, a minor character in the opera who reveals the second assignation to Figaro.
All these large scale alterations to structure and character are vital to Almaviva. But the piece comes alive in the smaller decisions about text. The final section of this essay details some of the issues involved in adapting a text from another language, and fitting the new text around the music. Substituting dialogue for recitative made it possible to include a few Beaumarchais lines that are omitted from the opera. Some of these have already been quoted. However most of the Almaviva script is based on Da Ponte’s libretto rather than the play. When my Italian was inadequate, I referred to a word-by-word translation. This sort of translation is essential because composers place musical effects on certain words, so for example the word “falling” might be set to a descending interval. This creates challenges for the translator. Musical onomatopoeia is hard to preserve if the syntax in the source language is different to the equivalent sentence in English. In German the verb comes at the end of the sentence, so the “falling” effect would be at the end of the phrase. The translator would have to search for a singable, natural-sounding English sentence that preserved this effect, and it might even have to rhyme. (Apter 316) Italian is easier to translate in terms of syntax, but it is very rhythmically distinctive and I often struggled to find words to fit the note values. In Italian, the accent is frequently on the penultimate syllable; signora, spaghetti, Cherubino. Most of the words have at least three syllables and a rolling quality to the rhythm. Conversely, English words are often one or two syllables, and usually lack the equivalent sense of surge towards the accent. Mozart was clearly thinking in Italian and I frequently found myself one syllable short for the phrase. It was sometimes difficult to complete the phrase without adding something superfluous like “now” or “then.” The English translation in the Schirmer opera score, by Ruth and Thomas Martin [1940] shows evidence of the same problem. Sometimes two rhythms are given in the notes, one for each language. I attempted to preserve the original verbal rhythm whenever possible, almost always changing syllable at the same point as Da Ponte.
23 Le Nozze di Figaro is famous for the dramatic density of the ensembles and frequently I found the best way to convey the necessary information was to stay close to Da Ponte. The opening line for the Act II Finale (music 11) sounds contemporary but it is almost a direct translation of the original:
Out you come you little bastard Esci omai garzon malnato (Come out now ill-born boy)
However most of Almaviva is better described as adaptation than translation. This is especially true of the arias, in which characters reflect on their situation, often through a certain amount of textual repetition. The repetition gives the audience a chance to catch up if they missed the words the first time, since operatic singing is not always very intelligible. Sections of text are also sometimes extended for musical purposes. So for example, in the aria Porgi amor, Mozart repeats two lines of text six times:
O mi rendi il mio tesoro O mi lascia al men morir (Give me back my lover or let me die.)
Although the repetition supports the passivity of the character it felt too stylised for Almaviva. Furthermore, the musical numbers in Almaviva aim to advance the action rather than comment on it. This is particularly important in the absence of recitative, which is the operatic vehicle for advancing action. To cover the same musical ground without repetition (and to convey a deeper sense of the character reviewing her options) I used five lines instead of two:
Now I’m nothing to my baby So there’s nothing left for me But I can’t walk free No, my baby doesn’t love me Must be how it’s meant to be. (Music #7)
This section rhymed quite neatly, much more neatly than required in fact. There are only two rhymes in the Italian aria. Most of the Almaviva score rhymes loosely, like the opera. The big ensembles were the most difficult to rhyme, where four or five lines of completely different text had to line up vertically with a rhyme at the end of each phrase. I focused on the function of rhyme (holding sections together) while trying to be flexible about the details. I frequently bent rhyming patterns: an ABAB pattern might become ABBA. The translating librettist Ronnie Apter lists the following varieties of rhyme: off-rhyme (line/time) weak rhyme (major/squalor) half rhyme (kitty/pitted) and consonant rhyme (slat/slit). (Apter 310) Almaviva employs all those variants and more. At one point the libretto rhymes “Almaviva” with “clearer” and “demeanour.” When Cherubino states the obvious in a crisis, “the outside door is deadlocked” Susanna responds sarcastically “congratulations Sherlock!” Here is another section of weak and half rhymes:
ALMAVIVA: Wearing make-up, And your stockings This is shocking! ROSINA: It’s important for his singing! ALMAVIVA: Can’t believe what I am hearing! (Music #11)
24
The text was intended to feel spontaneous and vernacular, so I discarded anything that hinted at the slickness of Noël Coward or Cole Porter, while preserving a few internal rhymes and playing with the rhythm at some points:
ALMAVIVA: You have here Before you A whore who Has shamed herself and her man (Music #19) and:
FIGARO: Even give her some extra attention Watch her closely to see if it’s true Then again, you’re the boss. Did I mention There’s a conference call scheduled for two? (Music #6)
The text also prioritises the verbal energy of each section. At the point in the opera when Susanna is desperately trying to get Cherubino out of the dressing room before the Count and Countess return, she sings a mouthful of consonants at break-neck speed:
Aprite presto aprite! (Open quickly, open)
This becomes;
Unlock the stupid door now! (Music #10)
Because of the consonants and the speed, both versions are difficult to sing and they should be: it supports the general impression of panic. At other parts of the score the words need to be easy to sing. Singers prefer to keep an open mouth and throat when approaching high notes so the climbing phrase in the aria Porgi Amor needed to end on something singable:
O mi rendi il mio tesoro O mi lascia almen morir (Music #10)
The high note falls on “rir”, a rolled r and an ee vowel. For the same music I initially wrote;
Why isn’t life like on TV? Can’t it be like “B&B?” (Music #7)
The highest note fell on the “B?” I reversed these two phrases so the soprano didn’t have to make a plosive consonant on the high note. In the revised version the climb ended on “v” which is easier to sing. I considered changing the vowel, since “ee” vowels can also be hard to sing on high notes. However Mozart also sets an “ee” vowel. Perhaps the tension in the stretch to the vowel adds a quality of yearning. It is this kind of small connection that preserves the relationship between Almaviva and Le
25 Nozze di Figaro. For all the freedom of the adaptation they are closely linked, a contradiction which is made possible by the unique nature of Le Nozze di Figaro.
The selection of an appropriate source text for adaptation is crucial. The effectiveness of an adaptation is partly related to the absence or presence of a particular quality in the source, the quality of “room.” The source work is ideally complex and open-ended enough to support different interpretations. Like Shakespeare and Chekhov, Mozart is remarkably un-judgemental. This is part of what keeps his work contemporary and flexible to different approaches. Smidgall in Literature as Opera observes that
Mozart was one of the least biased artistic geniuses…his operas…observe without brow-beating interventions the subtle antagonisms and ambivalences of human nature. He rarely passes harsh judgements in his music, rarely declares his allegiance… This is why human is an epithet so often used to describe the essence of this composer’s appeal. (Smidgall 69)
At the end of this process it is difficult to avoid some sort of assessment of the effectiveness of Almaviva. As the author I am probably not qualified for the job. However I can compare Almaviva to my other scripts, none of which are adaptations. Almaviva feels like the most original to date, despite being so heavily reliant on Mozart. Originality seems an odd quality in an adaptation, yet adaptations are frequently original. Immersion in a deeply creative work encourages creativity. Successful adaptation releases energy in two ways: For new audiences the adaptation works like any effective work of art, and the energy is derived from the successful expression of ideas. For audiences aware of the original work there is additional energy released by the re-contextualising of the familiar. As a dedicated fan of Le Nozze di Figaro I cannot help wanting Mozart to give Almaviva his imprimatur. I am sure many adapting authors feel the same illogical longing for reassurance from the author of the source, perhaps Da Ponte felt like this about Beaumarchais. I hope Mozart would extend his celebrated open-mindedness to my adaptation but of course it does not matter. Adaptation is a continuous and inevitable process. It even seems possible that one day someone might get an idea from Almaviva.
26 Bibliography
Akerholt, May-Brit. The Text, the Whole Text and Nothing but the Text Fitzpatrick, Tim ed. About Performance; Translation and Performance Working Papers 1, 1995 Centre for Performance Studies A20 Sydney: University of Sydney, 1995.
Apter, Ronnie. A peculiar burden: some technical problems of translating opera for performance in English. Meta 30.4 (1985) pp309-19
Barthes, Roland. The Death of an Author Ed. Burke, Seàn. Authorship: From Plato to the Postmodern, A Reader Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press, 1995.
Beaumarchais, P. The Barber of Seville, The Marriage of Figaro Trans. John Wood London: Penguin 1964.
Bloom, Harold. Shakespeare, The Invention of the Human. New York: Penguin, 1998.
Bloomfield, Morton W ed. In Search of Literary Theory London: Cornell University Press,1972.
Bollen, Jonathan. Laughing at the Difference: Theories of translation in rehearsal. Fitzpatrick, Tim ed. About Performance; Translation and Performance Working Papers 1, 1995 Centre for Performance Studies A20 Sydney: University of Sydney, 1995.
Brislin, Richard ed. Translation, Applications and Research. New York: Gardner, 1976.
Broder, Nathan. The Marriage of Figaro. Mozart, W.A. The Marriage of Figaro, Vocal score, ed.2021 Milwaukee: G.Schirmer Inc. 1947.
Burke, Seàn ed. Authorship: From Plato to the Postmodern, A Reader Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press, 1995.
Cartmell, Deborah ed. Classics in Film and Fiction London: Pluto Press, 2000.
Davis, W.A. The Act of Interpretation, A Critique of Literary Reason Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1978.
Dellamora, R. and Fischlin, D. ed. The work of opera, genre, nationhood and sexual difference. New York: Columbia University Press, 1997.
27
Drummond, John D. Opera in Perspective. London: Dent, 1980.
Ewen, David. The New Encyclopaedia of Opera. New York: Hill and Wang, 1971.
Foucault, Michel. What is an Author? Burke, Seàn ed. Authorship: From Plato to the Postmodern, A Reader. Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press, 1995.
Gay, Penny. Shakespeare in Translation: The Trial Scene in The Merchant of Venice. Fitzpatrick, Tim ed. About Performance; Translation and Performance. Working Papers 1, 1995 Centre for Performance Studies A20 Sydney: University of Sydney, 1995.
Giddings, Robert ed. The Classic Novel, from Page to Screen. Manchester: Manchester University Press, 2000.
Grout, Donald Jay, and Palisca, Claude. A History of Western Music. 3rd ed. New York: Norton, 1960.
Hermans, Theo. The Manipulation of Literature, Studies in Literary Translation. London: Croom Helm, 1985.
Kerman, Joseph. Opera as Drama. New York: Vintage NY, 1952.
Jackson, Richard. From Translation to Imitation.
Larner, Gerald. Carmen’s Children. Opera 53 (July 2002): pp 805-807
Lodge, David ed. Twentieth Century Literary Criticism. London: Longman, 1972.
Mozart, W.A. The Marriage of Figaro, Vocal score, ed.2021 Milwaukee: G.Schirmer Inc. 1947.
Rice, P. and Waugh, P. ed. Modern Literary Theory, A Reader. 2nd ed. London: Edward Arnold 1989.
Rilke, Rainer Maria. Duino Elegies: The Sonnets to Orpheus. Trans. Robert Hunter Oregon: Hulogosi Communications Inc, 1989.
Roberts, R. The Fundamentals of Literary Criticism.
28 Oxford: Basil Blackwell 1974.
Schmidgall, Gary. Literature as Opera. Oxford: OUP 1977.
Sinyard, Neil. Filming Literature, the Art of Screen Adaptation. London: Croom Helm, 1986.
Swain, Joseph P. The Broadway Musical. Oxford: OUP, 1990.
Toury, Gideon. A Rationale for Descriptive Translation. Hermans, Theo ed. The Manipulation of Literature, Studies in Literary Translation. London: Croom Helm,1985.
Warrack, John, and West, Ewan. Oxford Concise Dictionary of Opera. 3rd ed. Oxford: OUP, 1996.
Watson, G. The Literary Critics. London: Woburn Press, 1962.
Woll, Allen. Black Musical Theatre. Louisiana: Louisiana State University Press, 1989.
Wood, John. Introduction Beaumarchais, P. The Barber of Seville, The Marriage of Figaro Trans. John Wood London: Penguin 1964.
29
ALMAVIVA
An adaptation of Mozart’s opera Le Nozze di Figaro
For Matthew
Cast: Six singers, accompanied by piano:
Rocco Almaviva (Baritone) Rosina Almaviva (Soprano) Susanna (Soprano) Figaro (Bass) Cherubino (Tenor NB In Almaviva this is a male role) Basilio (Tenor NB Basilio also sings some of Antonio’s lines in Acts 2 and 4)
Note about set:
All scene changes are done by the cast and accompanied by music. There are four locations for the four acts; an office, a bedroom, a passage-way at the high-rise building where the wedding reception is taking place, and the roof-top of the same building. The set should be as minimal and flexible as possible. It was originally presented with a table-top, a bed, and three large frames, which could be differently configured and dressed as doorways, a table frame, a window, hiding places etc.
Running time: Approximately two hours excluding interval (70/55)
30 CONTENTS
Act I Susanna’s office, morning Page number
Scene 1 Figaro, Susanna, Basilio 34 Scene 2 Figaro 40 Scene 3 Susanna and Cherubino 41 Scene 4 Susanna, Cherubino, Almaviva 45 Scene 5 Susanna, Cherubino, Almaviva, Basilio 47 Scene 6 Susanna, Cherubino, Almaviva, Basilio, Figaro 53 Scene 7 Figaro, Almaviva 56
Act II Rosina’s bedroom, afternoon
Scene 8 Rosina 58 Scene 9 Rosina and Susanna 59 Scene 10 Rosina, Susanna, Cherubino 62 Scene 11 Rosina and Cherubino 66 Scene 12 Rosina, Cherubino, Almaviva 68 Scene 13 Susanna 69 Scene 14 Rosina, Almaviva, Susanna 70 Scene 15 Susanna, Cherubino 76 Scene 16 Rosina, Almaviva 78 Scene 17 Rosina, Almaviva and Susanna 82 Scene 18 Rosina, Almaviva, Susanna, Figaro 86 Scene 19 Rosina, Almaviva, Figaro, Susanna, Basilio 89
Act III A passage-way at the wedding reception, the following evening
Scene 20 Almaviva 96 Scene 21 Rosina 98 Scene 22 Rosina, Susanna 100 Scene 23 Susanna, Almaviva, Basilio, Figaro 103
Act IV The roof-top of the ALMAVIVA building, night
Scene 24 Basilio 107 Scene 25 Figaro, Basilio, Susanna 109 Scene 26 Figaro, Basilio, Susanna, Rosina 111 Scene 27 Full cast 113 Scene 28 Full cast 114 Scene 29 Full cast 115 Scene 30 Full cast 118
31 LIST OF MUSICAL NUMBERS
Musical number Cast involved Page in score
1. Fifty, eighty Figaro, Susanna 1 (Cinque, dieci, complete)
2. Susanna knock off now Figaro, Susanna 24 (Se a caso madama, complete)
3. Thanks Mr Almaviva Figaro 18 (Bravo signor/ Se vuol ballare, aria reduced)
4. I can’t work Cherubino 21 (Non so più, complete)
5. Send that retard to my office Almaviva, Basilio, Susanna 28 (Cosa sento, complete)
6. As a colleague Figaro 45 (Non più andrai, reduced)
7. Once again Rosina 50 (Porgi amor, complete)
8. Voi che sapete Cherubino 53 (Voi che sapete, complete)
9. I’m warning you Susanna Almaviva, Rosina, Susanna 58 (Susanna or via sortite, complete)
10. Unlock the stupid door Susanna, Cherubino 72 (Aprite, presto aprite, complete)
11. Out you come Almaviva, Rosina, Susanna, Figaro, Basilio 78 (Act II finale, Esci omai, reduced)
12. So you think this is over Almaviva 142 (Hai già vinto la causa/ vedro mentr’io sospiro, aria reduced)
13. So Susanna’s not here Rosina 151 (E Susanna non vien/ Dove sono, complete)
14. To Rocco Susanna, Rosina 160 (Sull’ aria, complete)
15. I can’t believe you made me wait Almaviva, Susanna 164 (Crudel, perchè finora, complete)
32 16. Why do weddings Basilio 170 (In quegli anni, reduced)
17. I don’t believe it Figaro 174 (Tutto è disposto/ Aprite un po’, aria reduced)
18. Now at last Susanna 181 (Giunse alfin al momento/ Deh vieni, complete)
19. Ah Rosina Full cast 186 (Act IV Finale continuous from Si madama)
33 ACT ONE
SCENE 1: Figaro, Susanna, Basilio
Figaro and Susanna are in an office. Figaro is working on a lap-top. Susanna is arranging table place cards.
MUSIC 1 FIFTY EIGHTY Score p.1
(Cinque, dieci; complete)
Figaro, Susanna
FIGARO: Fifty… Eighty… Doesn’t Add up That accountant Should get the sack. Fifty… Eighty… Here it’s Ninety! This is dodgy What’s going on?
SUSANNA: Should we seat your Aunty Gina Next to Sally’s boyfriend Paul? What if they discuss the war? I could use a hand here Figaro (2) All this stuff Isn’t done and the wedding is tomorrow I could use a hand here Figaro ‘Coz the wedding is tomorrow, is tomorrow, is tomorrow!
FIGARO: Anybody told you lately What a sexy girl you are? Returning to work on the laptop What a sexy girl you are.
SUSANNA: Give it a rest
FIGARO: absently You’re so sexy
SUSANNA: swivelling his chair to face her Give me a hand
34 FIGARO: pulling her onto his lap And don’t you know it.
FIGARO & SUSANNA: Can’t believe this time tomorrow (2) You and I will be man and wife And wife For life I don’t think it gets much better This is going to last forever All our lives we’ll be together And tomorrow is our wedding day (2)
FIGARO: For richer
SUSANNA: Or poorer
FIGARO: In bad times
SUSANNA: And in good times
FIGARO & SUSANNA: When tomorrow is out of the way We’re on the way Only one day Till this wedding is out of the way.
They kiss
SUSANNA: Disposable cameras!
Figaro pays no attention
SUSANNA: We forgot!
FIGARO: still kissing her
Later.
SUSANNA: There is no later! We need disposable cameras on every ta…
She starts to respond again. Few beats of this suddenly interrupted by an offstage noise.
Enter Basilio talking on his mobile. He doesn’t see them. Figaro and Susanna separate discreetly, nearly busted, both laughing. Figaro starts helping her with the cards.
BASILIO…solutely not. We called you more than a week ago… I’m sorry, I’m an accountant not a psychologist.… If you’re out of your league we’ll make other arrangements …This is obviously unaccepta…
35
Exit Basilio.
FIGARO: Basilio is such a …
SUSANNA: Rosina says all the best photos at her wedding were taken by the guests with disposable cameras. Humour me. We brides are very highly strung.
FIGARO: Mmmm,
SUSANNA: I’ve got both the Almavivas over here, who do you reckon we should put on the other side of him?
FIGARO: Someone ugly. Cherubino.
SUSANNA: Don’t be mean.
FIGARO: Almaviva’s not going to hit on to anyone with his wife there.
SUSANNA: She doesn’t care.
They work
SUSANNA: I’m sick of being PA to the bosses wife, it’s a stupid job.
FIGARO: How about PA to me?
SUSANNA: Seriously.
FIGARO: Wish I was a PA. I’d love to go to Italy for a week.
SUSANNA: You get to run the whole company while he’s away! I’ll be carrying luggage.
FIGARO: Why don’t you ask for that transfer? I know he’d give it to you or he wouldn’t have spent all that money on your course.
SUSANNA: Maybe
She’s reserved. He notices. They work
FIGARO: Have you got Basilio?
She passes him the card and watches where he puts it.
SUSANNA: That’s a good idea.
Looks at the rest of the table he’s putting together
But you can’t do that. They hate each other. Christmas party.
36
Pause. He works
FIGARO: laughing to himself remembering Basilio on the phone
“OBviously unacceptable”
Susanna stops working
SUSANNA: I don’t want to go.
FIGARO: Why not? It’s a free trip to Italy! You and Rosina are like best friends.
SUSANNA: She’s my boss!
FIGARO: So what? You’ll spend all your time shopping and drinking. I can see it now. Campari on the terrace while she checks out the men.
Intro starts
SUSANNA: Actually she’s not the problem…
MUSIC 2 SUSANNA KNOCK OFF NOW Score p.9
(Se a caso madama; complete)
Figaro, Susanna
FIGARO: (falsetto and aristocratic. Extremely camp) Susanna knock off now it’s time for a Campari. Let’s order Campari. Yoo-hoo! yoo-hoo! Two Camparis you big Italian spunk. (Dropping the falsetto) Or maybe she’ll take you to lunch in the piazza, Where pizza’s a motza Garçon! Garçon! Charge my gold card Signor Romeo.
SUSANNA: More likely Rosina will get a migraine And I’ll be alone with the ironing Knock knock, knock knock It’s the boss dropping in “to say hi” And then…and then… And coincidentally you’re in another country There’s no-one to help me.
37 FIGARO: Susanna hold on (3) Hold on (4)
SUSANNA:There’s no-one Here to stop him. Knock knock (2) Now listen
FIGARO: Let’s hear it
SUSANNA: If I’m going to tell you (2) I don’t want you getting all jealous and weird.
FIGARO: So what’s going on then? (2) This whole situation is worse than I feared.
SUSANNA: I don’t want you getting all jealous and weird (3) I mean it, all jealous and weird (2) I mean it (3)
FIGARO: This whole situation is worse than I feared And I know that that bastard gets what he wants This whole situation is worse than I feared Shoulda seen it, Much worse than I feared, shoulda seen it Much worse than I feared It’s worse than I feared (3)
SUSANNA: Promise?
FIGARO: Yeah.
SUSANNA: Mr Almaviva has been…hassling me for a while. I make sure we’re never alone together but he’s always looking and there are all these accidental moments when he touches me.
FIGARO: I don’t believe it. So that’s why he’s been so nice to us.
SUSANNA: Yep. The trip, the bonus, that’s what it’s all about. Even the book- keeping lessons.
FIGARO: How’s that?
SUSANNA: Basilio’s the go-between. He spends the whole lesson trying to talk me into it. Says all this crap about you and me being nobodies who didn’t go to uni and are lucky to be where we are.
FIGARO: Basilio is such a …
38 SUSANNA: … If I do it I get the transfer. If I don’t we lose our jobs. He doesn’t understand why I don’t want to. I think he wishes it was him
FIGARO: Come here. You okay?
SUSANNA: Better now.
FIGARO: I’m sorry. Wish you’d told me.
SUSANNA: I’ll be right.
Susanna’s phone on the desk gets a message. She goes to pick it up.
FIGARO: I’m going to fix this.
SUSANNA: That’s the other thing. Don’t do anything stupid.
Reads her message
Rosina wants her drycleaning. I’ll run downstairs and get it.
Figaro catches her on the way out. They kiss
FIGARO: Beautiful girl. How did I get so lucky?
They kiss
I love you.
SUSANNA: When are you going to stop telling me that all day?
FIGARO: When I can show you all night.
Another long kiss. Eventually she disengages
SUSANNA: One more sleep.
Exit Susanna
39 SCENE 2 Figaro
MUSIC 3 THANKS MR ALMAVIVA Score p. 18
(Se vuol ballare; recit complete, aria reduced)
Figaro
He picks up the place-card with Almaviva’s name on it. At some stage in the aria he has the idea of making Almaviva jealous by forging a love-letter to Rosina.
RECIT
Thanks Mr Almaviva Now I can see it, and it all becomes clearer, My quick promotion and your friendly demeanour Since we’re such good friends, Take my labour, My ideas. And my fiancée It’s the least I can do mate. You’re a helluva guy Go for it She’s yours mate
ARIA
Hey mister boss I’m going to get you (2) I’ll keep my hands clean but I’ll bring you down You’ll be the patsy and you’ll be the clown yes I’ll bring you down yes I’ll bring you down
Exit Figaro as Susanna returns with dry-cleaning. They kiss in the doorway
40 SCENE 3 Susanna, Cherubino
Susanna is carrying a pile of dry-cleaning: a long dress in plastic (should be the dress Rosina wears for Act 3 and 4) as well as a bedspread and a bra & some stockings. Enter Cherubino, delivering internal mail. He sneaks up behind Susanna and puts his arms round her. She responds briefly, thinking it’s Figaro
SUSANNA: Cut that out! I thought you were Figaro.
CHERUBINO: I wish. Lucky duck.
Hands her Rosina’s mail
SUSANNA: Lucky duck?
CHERUBINO: What?
SUSANNA: Lucky duck? Is that something your mum says?
Pause (yes)
SUSANNA: I think you mean lucky dog. Should I be teaching a kid how to flirt? Use your powers for good.
CHERUBINO: I don’t need help baby.
SUSANNA: Don’t you baby me you little pipsqueak.
CHERUBINO: Sorry.
SUSANNA: And don’t apologize!
CHERUBINO: Sorry.
SUSANNA: You’re a lost cause.
CHERUBINO: When I’m a pop star you’ll respect me.
SUSANNA: If you want my respect, go finish school.
CHERUBINO: Don’t laugh it might happen.
SUSANNA: How come you’re not in the mailroom?
CHERUBINO: I snuck out to say goodbye.
SUSANNA: Contemplating suicide?
CHERUBINO: Yep.
41 SUSANNA: Any last requests?
CHERUBINO: Just you.
SUSANNA: Me? I thought you were in love with Rosina.
CHERUBINO: I’m obsessed with her. But she’s out of my league.
SUSANNA: And I’m not?
CHERUBINO: You’re changing the subject! This could be my last day at Almaviva.
SUSANNA: Okay, what’s up?
CHERUBINO: Let’s just say the boss caught me in a compromising position with Barbarina.
SUSANNA: Holy Toledo, he has a girlfriend.
CHERUBINO: I was meant to be doing the mail but I went out the back of the canteen with Barbarina. First we were just holding hands but then I started to…
SUSANNA: Moving right along…
CHERUBINO: The boss came out for a smoke and there we were. Barbie was terrified.
SUSANNA: I’m sure you were very heroic.
CHERUBINO: He sacked me!
SUSANNA: Nup. He’ll come round. You’re his nephew Cherubino. Just lie low for a few days. And maybe try doing some work.
CHERUBINO: What’s that?
SUSANNA: You know that stuff you’re paid for.
CHERUBINO: No, what’s on the desk?
SUSANNA: Oh this. Nothing special, just a bit of washing I picked up for Rrrrrosina Almaviva. Let’s see, some lacy stay-up stockings and this generously proportioned bra.
Cherubino groans involuntarily and tries to snatch the underwear
SUSANNA: Hey!
CHERUBINO: (upset) Sorry!
42 pause
SUSANNA: You’re in a bad way!
CHERUBINO: Tell me about it!
MUSIC 4 I CAN’T WORK Score p.21
(Non so piu; complete)
Cherubino
During this number he steals one of the stockings
I can’t work I’ve got no concentration I’m a victim of sexual frustration Every woman I see overwhelms me Every woman I see turns me on I’ve got no hope of getting it on Doesn’t matter, they still turn me on.
Whether it’s beautiful Rosina You or my girlfriend Barbarina I can’t control the urges I feel One desire, one desire to make love to them all. One desire, one desire to make love to you all.
While I try to resist this sensation I’m a victim of sexual frustration Every woman I see overwhelms me Every woman I see turns me on I’ve got no hope of getting it on Doesn’t matter, they still turn me on.
And though I know it’s tragic I hope that by some magic One day I’ll have a lover A woman like no other Till then I’ll have to suffer. Coz I can’t wear my Speedos down to the beach no more. Down to the beach no more.
Whether I’m in the mailroom Whether I’m in my bedroom Awake or sleeping I can’t stop peeping My in- -appropriate Behaviour is a problem
43 ‘Coz I can’t wear my Speedos down to the beach no more Down to the beach no more
And if no-one will help me (He tries. She declines) And since no-one will help me I’ll suffer on my own Alone Deal with it on my own.
44 SCENE 4: Susanna, Cherubino, Almaviva
Almaviva starts his lines just before coming onstage. Cherubino hides under the desk. In the nick of time Susanna arranges herself and the dry-cleaning so as to block Cherubino.
ALMAVIVA: talking to himself while he writes a birthday card to his mum.
Big hugs and molti baci from your loving son…
He turns and sees Susanna just as she flaps the dry-cleaning to conceal Cherubino
Olé!
SUSANNA: Morning Mr Almaviva.
ALMAVIVA: All alone?
SUSANNA: Figaro will be back any minute.
ALMAVIVA: You seem flushed, excited.
SUSANNA: I’m just concerned…
ALMAVIVA: Suits you. How are the wedding preparations coming along?
SUSANNA: I’m concerned about someone finding you here.
ALMAVIVA: Are you wearing a bra today?
She lifts the dry-cleaning up to cover herself
SUSANNA: I think you should go.
ALMAVIVA: But you don’t want me to do you? Unfortunately I’m expecting a call from my banker.
Picks up a couple of place cards.
And you’ve got work to do.
SUSANNA: That’s exactly what I…
ALMAVIVA: So I’ll keep this short and sweet.
SUSANNA: I don’t want to hear it.
ALMAVIVA: Course you do. Say it. I want to listen.
Pause. He’s so close to discovering Cherubino.
45
SUSANNA: I want to listen
ALMAVIVA: Sir
SUSANNA: Sir
ALMAVIVA: Wasn’t so hard was it? Imagine what else I could teach you. Enjoying your book-keeping lessons?
Susanna nods
So you understand the deal. See it my way and I’ll double your bonus and get you that transfer you want. Otherwise, you and Figaro are out on your arses. And I want your answer before the wedding.
SUSANNA: This is inappropriate.
ALMAVIVA: Think of it as an opportunity.
Kissing her
Sexy bitch
46 SCENE 5: Susanna, Cherubino, Almaviva, Basilio
BASILIO: (offstage) Susanna
ALMAVIVA: I’ll hide under the desk.
SUSANNA: No don’t !
He does. Cherubino gets out just in time and hides in the chair. Susanna throws the dry-cleaning on him
BASILIO: Here we are again
SUSANNA: Do you mind if we skip it today? I don’t feel like it.
BASILIO: None of us do. I’d much rather be pruning my topiary.
SUSANNA: So let’s.
BASILIO: I thought you were passionate about book-keeping.
SUSANNA: That’s not why you’re here.
BASILIO: Indeed it is. And if you don’t work at these things you can get stuck can’t you?
(picking up the washing)
Stuck with the washing.
SUSANNA: Least I’m not a pimp.
BASILIO: Let’s not use that language.
SUSANNA: Or an alco.
She’s hit a nerve
BASILIO: My my.
SUSANNA: If you don’t like it, go.
BASILIO: You know, I don’t think I will. After all, this is a limited time offer. You’re getting married tomorrow, and the Italy thing is next week. Hasn’t it all worked out fabulously? With you coming along for the family holiday…
SUSANNA: Was there ever a time when you had a soul?
47 BASILIO: Darling, here’s a word from the wise. You’re a commodity. What do you have to offer? Youth, energy, a degree of innocence…None of that lasts. It goes anyway. You may as well profit from it.
SUSANNA: Not interested.
BASILIO: Most women think he’s sexy. The power, the experience, that sense of danger…I can’t work out why you’d prefer a spotty little teenager.
SUSANNA: What?
BASILIO: Cherubino. He was hanging around here all morning, hoping to get in.
SUSANNA: Only because he wanted to…
BASILIO: Of course the one Cherubino really wants is Rosina. No accounting for tastes. I think she’s hideous. You should have seen him hand over her mail yesterday. All that unresolved sexual tension…Poor old Rosina is so neglected she’d take anyone who paid her some attention.
SUSANNA: You really are disgusting.
BASILIO: Now don’t shoot the messenger everybody’s talking about it. I’ll forward you this hilarious email that’s doing the rounds. There’s a cartoon of Cherubino under Rosina’s desk …
Intro starts. Almaviva stands up during intro. Basilio turns around very slowly and sees Almaviva just as the intro finishes. Basilio squawks or swears quietly in the rest before Almaviva starts singing.
MUSIC 5 SEND THAT RETARD TO MY OFFICE Score p.28
(Cosa sento; complete)
Basilio, Susanna, Almaviva
ALMAVIVA: to Basilio Send that retard To my office For his exit Interview Gonna kill him and then I’ll deal with you.
BASILIO: I was joking As you realise I admit it Was in poor taste
48 SUSANNA: This is awful This is awful I can’t stand it anymore.
ALMAVIVA: Go and get Cherubino
BASILIO: Please don’t sack me
BASILIO and SUSANNA: This is awful
ALMAV0IVA: Whatcha waiting for get out!
BASILIO: Please don’t sack me I’ll make it up.
SUSANNA:I can’t stand it I can’t stand it I can’t stand it anymore (2)
One of the men is dangerously close to discovering Cherubino in the chair. Susanna fakes a faint to create a diversion.
BASILIO: We’re upsetting this poor young lady Let’s calm down now and think it through (3)
ALMAVIVA:
Have a seat and take it easy (Puts Susanna in the other chair) Don’t you worry, ‘coz daddy’s here Don’t you worry daddy’s here (2)
BASILIO: Anybody like a coffee?
Almaviva uses the excuse of comforting Susanna to touch her
SUSANNA: leaping up
Get your hands off Keep your distance Why don’t both of you get out? Go on get out (2)
BASILIO and ALMAVIVA: We are only here to help you You are perfectly safe with us (3)
BASILIO: Cherubino Is a problem I advise you To let him go
49 SUSANNA: He’s a liar Don’t believe him There’s no evidence at all And it’s not Basilio’s call It’s not his call (2)
ALMAVIVA: Clean his desk out after lunch break He’ll be gone before tomorrow
BASILIO and SUSANNA: Cherubino! (2)
ALMAVIVA: Poor bambino I don’t think so ‘Coz I’ve caught him once before
BASILIO and SUSANNA: Caught him? How? Where? Really? Whad he Do?
ALMAVIVA: Yesterday morning. I went to check on Barbarina (that new girl) She should have been working that shift at the canteen No-one had seen her for ages So I said I’d check outside Where the skip is The recycling Under plastic I found her hiding Guess who was with her
Demonstrates by lifting the dry-cleaning revealing Cherubino in the chair
What am I seeing?
SUSANNA: What a disaster!
BASILIO: Better and better!
ALMAVIVA: Now I start to get the picture.
SUSANNA: This is not the way it seems.
ALMAVIVA: I begin to understand.
SUSANNA: There is nothing going on. He was scared
50 And so was I
BASILIO: I can’t say that I’m surprised I’ve always thought her devious.
ALMAVIVA: Not so moral after all! Now I start to get the picture. I begin to understand. So depraved but so self-righteous Now I see what’s going on So self-righteous for a sinner Now I see what’s going on Hypocritical behaviour Now I see what’s going on Hypocritical behaviour Now I see what’s going on. (4) Now I start to get the picture now I know what’s going on. This is bad (3)
SUSANNA: Don’t believe a word he says it’s all lies all lies, There is nothing going on I swear, it’s true Nothing worse Than this could happen I can’t take it anymore.
(2)
BASILIO: I can’t say that I’m surprised sir. Evidence before your eyes. So depraved But so self-righteous Now I see what’s going on. So self-righteous For a sinner How’s the view from The moral high-ground? I can’t say that I’m surprised sir. Evidence before your eyes You should sack Her and her partner. I’m the one that you can trust (4) So self-righteous for a harlot I can’t say that I’m surprised Sir Evidence before your eyes. This is bad (3)
SUSANNA:I can’t take it anymore (3) This is bad. So very bad (2)
51 This is bad. (3)
52 SCENE 6 Almaviva, Susanna, Basilio, Cherubino then Figaro
ALMAVIVA: (to Basilio) I think Figaro needs to see this.
BASILIO: Absolutely (gets out his mobile)
SUSANNA: Fine by me.
BASILIO: You should be ashamed.
SUSANNA: I should! This is actually my office…partition thing
ALMAVIVA: (indicating Cherubino) What’s he doing here?
CHERUBINO: Well sir it’s because…
ALMAVIVA: Shut up! How many times do I have to sack you?
SUSANNA: Cherubino was delivering the mail. You’re the one who shouldn’t be here. When you came in he got scared and hid under the desk.
ALMAVIVA: But that’s where I hid.
CHERUBINO: Excuse me sir, but when you hid under the desk I got in the chair.
SUSANNA: (to Cherubino) You’re making it worse.
ALMAVIVA: (to Susanna) That little bastard heard everything!
CHERUBINO: I covered my ears!
ALMAVIVA: Right that’s it. I told your mum I’d give you a go but this is stupid. If she wasn’t my sister you’d have been out of here in your first week. You’re a liability. You can go back to school or do an apprenticeship or something.
CHERUBINO: Uncle Rocco…
ALMAVIVA: (depending on the piercings of Cherubino)
And take that thing out of your chin.
CHERUBINO: Uncle Rocco
ALMAVIVA: What?
CHERUBINO: I tried really hard not to listen but I couldn’t help it.
Pause while blackmail attempt sinks in
53 ALMAVIVA: Alright you little snake, one more chance. But keep out of my way. Take some time off.
CHERUBINO: I don’t want to.
ALMAVIVA: Here’s a birthday card for Nonna.
CHERUBINO: I’ll post it for you.
ALMAVIVA: No. Go see her. She’s your Grandma.
CHERUBINO: It’ll take me a day to get there! I’ll miss the wedding.
SUSANNA: Let him stay.
ALMAVIVA: What’s it to you? (to Cherubino) You want to keep your job? Get going. Here’s some money for the train. You can ride your bike to the station.
Almaviva fishes out some money as Figaro enters, surreptitiously finishing off his forged letter and maybe humming his last aria
SUSANNA: (whispered) Go away. There’s a situation.
FIGARO: Excellent.
Figaro puts a phone down on the desk. Exit Cherubino
FIGARO: (to Almaviva) Here’s the phone Sir. The conference call with the bank is at two
ALMAVIVA: What’s the time?
FIGARO: Five to. And there’s something we need to talk about
ALMAVIVA: Can’t it wait?
FIGARO: No. It’s personal.
ALMAVIVA: (to Basilio and Susanna) Off you go.
Exit Susanna. Almaviva looks at Basilio
What are you waiting for?
BASILIO: Surely you don’t mean me?
ALMAVIVA: Yep.
BASILIO: You might want a second opinion.
54 ALMAVIVA: No thanks mate.
Exit Basilio
55 SCENE 7: Figaro, Almaviva
MUSIC 6 AS A COLLEAGUE Score p.45
(Non piu andrai; aria reduced)
Figaro
As a colleague I’ve always been loyal And so far you’ve rewarded my toil When I found this I thought Almaviva Needs to see it as soon as he can It’s a letter addressed to Rosina And I think it was sent by a man.
Almaviva starts out the door after Cherubino
No sir I doubt that it’s from Cherubino Can’t imagine him writing “tesoro” I would say this is from another More experienced Italian lover Just as well that she’s satisfied!
There’s no way That she would stray But this guy Well he might try You can’t be too careful
If you asked me to make a suggestion I would say play it cool, ask no questions. Even give her some extra attention Watch her closely to see if it’s true Then again, you’re the boss. Did I mention There’s a conference call scheduled for two?
Phone starts to ring on the table. Almaviva goes for it but Figaro holds him off and starts to read letter
“To Rosina Almaviva Mio carissimo tesor Don’t resist me any longer Underneath you long for more Let me take you through that door Be my mistress, be my whore.”
56 Almaviva lunges at Figaro during the playout but is forced to answer the phone instead.
ALMAVIVA: Almaviva speaking.
Playout continues. He snatches the letter from Figaro. Exit Almaviva. Scene change over the playout
57 ACT TWO
It is the afternoon of the same day, in Rosina’s bedroom. There is a bed as well as two door; an internal one to a walk-in wardrobe and en-suite bathroom, and an external one to the rest of the apartment. There is also a window upstage.
SCENE 8: Rosina
MUSIC 7 ONCE AGAIN Score p.50
(Porgi Amor; complete)
Rosina
She comes out of the shower during the intro, leaving wet footprints on the floor. She wanders around, picks up the remote, turns on an imaginary tv, turns it off, maybe she leafs through a magazine, loses interest, picks up her tweezers, removes a few stray hairs…etc etc
Once again Our anniversary Goes unnoticed Except by me.
What ever happened to our passion? Why isn’t life like “B&B”? Can’t it be like on TV?
I remember how we used to Stay in bed all day till three.
Now I’m nothing to my baby. So there’s nothing left for me. But I can’t walk free.
No my baby doesn’t love me. Must be how it’s meant to be.
58 SCENE 9: Rosina, Susanna
Enter Susanna with dry-cleaning. Walks over to the walk-in wardrobe to put it away. Rosina is lying on the bed.
SUSANNA: While I remember, I RSVP’d for two for the opening night. That’s the 27th. The cancer charity called back asking for an appointment. I put them off till after you get back. And you’ve got five disadvantaged youths to interview for the Almaviva Scholarship on Friday.
ROSINA: Can’t I do that later?
SUSANNA: They want to announce the scholarship at that dinner.
ROSINA: Am I going to that?
SUSANNA: No, we’ll still be in Italy.
ROSINA: What about my hair appointment?
SUSANNA: 9.30 tomorrow.
Rosina winces, too early
Oh yeah, the ballet company called! That Lynne woman. I said you’d call back.
ROSINA: Remind me what that’s about.
SUSANNA: The board. I think they’re finally going to ask you to join the board! Congratulations.
ROSINA: Thanks. pause
SUSANNA: I’m trying to distract you.
ROSINA: I know you are. Don’t worry I’ve had years to get used to it. Although seducing my personal assistant is particularly low don’t you think?
SUSANNA: Not seducing. He tried to buy me.
ROSINA: I don’t care any more. He can do what he likes.
SUSANNA: Don’t talk like that.
ROSINA: Well he doesn’t love me.
SUSANNA: So why’s he so jealous?
59 ROSINA: Pride. Where’s that chocolate?
SUSANNA: Right here. pause
ROSINA: I need an interest.
One of them picks up the tweezers that have fallen off the bed
Besides depilation.
Rosina eats
SUSANNA: I told Figaro.
ROSINA: How did he take it?
SUSANNA: He forged a letter to you from a mystery lover and gave it to your husband.
ROSINA: WHAT?
SUSANNA: I know, I know.
ROSINA: He’ll kill me!
SUSANNA: Yep.
They eat
ROSINA: Why?
SUSANNA: Revenge
ROSINA: Men
SUSANNA: Although he doesn’t see it that way. He sees it as a way of keeping Mr Almaviva distracted until the wedding and the trip are over.
ROSINA: Well I won’t be needing those opera tickets for the 27th.
SUSANNA: Figaro thinks it might help you guys.
ROSINA: I fail to see how. I’ll be dead.
SUSANNA: Maybe your husband won’t say anything. He doesn’t know for sure that it’s true. And it’s only till the end of the trip. Figaro’s trying to work out some way of exposing my… harassment problem and once he’s done that he’ll take the rap for the letter. But I told him if you were in any danger he had to come straight over.
60
ROSINA: Good!
SUSANNA: Are you mad?
ROSINA: Yes and no. Maybe Rocco will look at me with new eyes if he thinks someone else finds me attractive.
SUSANNA: Like in…
ROSINA: The Bold and the Beautiful. Exactly. I can be all mysterious and unavailable and he can pursue me.
SUSANNA: You seem to be taking this very well.
ROSINA: What have I got to lose?
61 SCENE 10: Rosina, Susanna, Cherubino
Knock on the door. Susanna looks out the window
SUSANNA: Cherubino’s bike’s down there. I didn’t realize he did home deliveries.
ROSINA: Goodness me.
Enter Cherubino with a package. Takes off his MP3 player
CHERUBINO: Hello ladies!
SUSANNA: Come in, come in
CHERUBINO: Parcel for you Mrs A. (reads label and hands over grinning) “The Abdominator”
ROSINA: Thank you (goes to put it away, embarrassed)
SUSANNA: What are you doing here?
CHERUBINO: Rosina wasn’t at her desk, so I thought she might be working at home today.
SUSANNA: Is that so.
CHERUBINO: And the front door was open so I …(Rosina re-enters) Lovely room you’ve got here. I like the…fabrics…
SUSANNA: Fabrics.
ROSINA: Susanna tells me you might be leaving us.
CHERUBINO: Yes ma’am. I’ve been sacked twice.
SUSANNA: Poor baby. Tell her why.
ROSINA: Don’t tease him darling.
CHERUBINO: I might not be able to come to the wedding tomorrow. Uncle Rocco said I had to go down south and visit Nonna.
SUSANNA: Do it the day after. Just keep out of his way at the reception.
ROSINA: I’ll talk to him.
SUSANNA: Did you know he’s going to sing?
ROSINA: Really? How wonderful. I didn’t know you could sing.
62 CHERUBINO: Nuh, I’ve only just started lessons…
SUSANNA: Sing her the song you sung me this morning. Remember? I can’t work I’ve got no concentration. I’m a victim of…
CHERUBINO: I don’t think that’s a very good idea.
ROSINA: Oh please! You can use my karaoke machine.
(goes into the walk-in wardrobe to get it)
CHERUBINO: I do know another song. In Italian.
SUSANNA: Let’s hear it.
CHERUBINO: (hitting on Susanna) Actually this is the one Mum said I should sing at your wedding reception. But it’s all about love. I feel like I need to be older, more experienced. I don’t know how to present it.
ROSINA: Re-entering, alarmed by the competition with Susanna
Presentation is very important!
SUSANNA: We’ll help you with all that. Please, please, please!
CHERUBINO: Nuh, I’m too embarrassed.
ROSINA: Cherubino, I’d really love to hear it.
CHERUBINO: Okay.
SUSANNA: (going for the makeup) I’ll turn you into a Eurovision pop-star
CHERUBINO: Nah don’t!
SUSANNA: You heard her, it’s all about presentation.
CHERUBINO: You’re going to make me look like a girl aren’t you?
SUSANNA: I’m going to make you look like a sex-god. Make-up on pop-stars is essential. Trust me. The rules are different.
Organizes himself with the karaoke machine. While he’s singing, the women take off his shirt, revealing Rosina’s stocking tied around his arm, which he stole from Susanna during his first aria. Susanna draws on some designer stubble, eyeliner, lipstick etc. Rosina gets another stocking and turns it into a bandana. Cherubino is excrutiatingly embarrassed at first but overcomes his shyness and gets carried away. By the end of the aria he is standing on the end of the bed. At some stage Cherubino
63 drops his MP3 player and it falls in front of the bed, it becomes a crucial prop later on.
MUSIC 8 VOI CHE SAPETE Score p.53
(Voi che sapete; complete and performed in Italian to a karaoke backing track.)
Cherubino
Voi che sapete, che cosa è amor? Donne, vedete, s’io l’ho nel cor (2) Quello ch’io provo vi riderò È per me nuovo, capir nol so, Sento un affetto, pien di desir
Whispers furiously to Susanna in response to her repeated invitations: I’m not getting on the bed!
Ch’ora è diletto, ch’ora è martir Gelo e poi sento l’alma avvampar E in un momento torno a gelar. Ricerco un bene fuori di me Non so ch’il tiene, non so cos’è.
Gets carried away and stands on the bed anyway. Australian Idol performance.
Sospiro e gemo, senza voler Palpito e tremo, senza saper Non trovo pace, notte nè dì Ma pur mi piace languir cosi. Voi che sapete che cosa è amor? Donne vedete s’io l’ho nel cor. (3)
ROSINA: Wow! You’re like a young Andrea Bocelli!!
SUSANNA: Not so blind.
CHERUBINO: Thank you.
ROSINA: I had no idea you were so good at singing.
SUSANNA: Oh, he’s good at everything!
CHERUBINO: Singing is my dream.
ROSINA: Good for you. Everyone needs a dream.
64
CHERUBINO: (staring at her) Yeah.
Pause
ROSINA: (indicating package) Susanna darling, would you please assemble this? I think you need an Ollen key. Just duck over the road to the hardware store and see if they have one.
SUSANNA: Right now?
ROSINA: If you don’t mind.
SUSANNA: slowly
Sure.
ROSINA: Lovely.
(exit Susanna, locking the door)
65 SCENE 11: Rosina and Cherubino
Pause. Rosina sees the card sticking out of Cherubino’s pocket.
ROSINA: That looks like my husband’s writing.
CHERUBINO: It’s a birthday card for Nonna.
ROSINA: (aside) Never forgets her birthday.
CHERUBINO: He was so mad with me this morning. I’m sure I’m going to lose my job.
ROSINA: (soothingly) No.
CHERUBINO: And then I won’t be able to see you anymore. pause
ROSINA: What have you got tied around your arm?
CHERUBINO: Nothing.
ROSINA: Show me.
CHERUBINO: No.
ROSINA: Go on.
Cherubino reveals the stocking he stole tied around his arm as a bandage.
ROSINA: It’s mine isn’t it? There’s blood underneath!
CHERUBINO: I fell off my bike.
ROSINA: Did you hurt yourself?
CHERUBINO: Nah it was nothing.
ROSINA: Let me get you a band-aid.
CHERUBINO: No!
ROSINA: Why not?
CHERUBINO: Because…
ROSINA: Because?
CHERUBINO: This has touched…your…skin…
66
ROSINA: A band-aid would be much better.
CHERUBINO: I’m so embarrassed.
ROSINA: Don’t be.
CHERUBINO: You’re laughing at me.
ROSINA: I’m not.
CHERUBINO: crying Yes you are.
ROSINA: Cherubino…
CHERUBINO: All of you are. I’m going to lose my job but nobody cares. You and Susanna treat me like a kid and make fun of me…
ROSINA: You’re crying! Come here.
CHERUBINO: moving in. Rosina dries his eyes. They are nearly kissing
If only things were different and I was older. Maybe I’d have the courage to…
ROSINA: whispering
Don’t say it!
67 SCENE 12: Cherubino, Rosina and Almaviva
Almaviva rattles the door-handle and then knocks furiously.
ALMAVIVA: Open the door!
ROSINA: My husband! He’ll kill you!
ALMAVIVA: Open the door!
ROSINA: Look at you!
CHERUBINO: I’m dead!
ROSINA: And Figaro told him I have a lover!
CHERUBINO: I want to go home.
ALMAVIVA: Who’s in there?
ROSINA: No-one! (to Cherubino) Walk-in wardrobe!
ALMAVIVA: Who are you talking to?
ROSINA: To you darling!
ALMAVIVA: Open the bloody door!
ROSINA: (locking Cherubino in the walk-in wardrobe and hiding the key)
Coming, coming.
She runs over to let her husband in and freezes as she reaches for the door
68 SCENE 13: Susanna
She’s at the hardware store at another part of the stage.
SUSANNA: Hi I need an allen key. Don’t know the size. Not Ikea, it’s a home shopping thing, I think it’s called an Abdominator. Maybe it’ll say on the box. I can go get it, it’s just over the road. Yeah the mansion. (laughing) I wish. No I just work there. No not that one, the one with the lions. (Points it out) That’s his car! He’ll kill them! Sorry, forget about it…
She waves away the sale and moves to somewhere in the shop that gives her a view of the bedroom window.
69 SCENE 14: Rosina, Almaviva, Susanna
Susanna is watching from across the street. Rosina unlocks the door and Almaviva bursts in and looks around. At some stage Rosina sees Cherubino’s MP3 player and stands on it to hide it, later kicking it under the bed.
ALMAVIVA: What’s going on?
ROSINA: What do you mean?
ALMAVIVA: Why’s the door locked?
ROSINA: I was...waxing my underarms. Yes I was waxing my underarms. Happy now?
ALMAVIVA: You never lock the door.
ROSINA: Can’t a woman have a little privacy in her own…
ALMAVIVA: showing her the forged letter from Figaro
Look at this. You don’t recognize it? It’s a letter.
ROSINA: I can see that.
ALMAVIVA: It’s a letter from your lover.
ROSINA: (outraged) I beg your pardon?
Loud crash from the dressing room
ALMAVIVA: What’s that?
ROSINA: What?
ALMAVIVA: That noise.
ROSINA: I didn’t hear anything.
ALMAVIVA: Are you deaf? There’s someone in the walk-in wardrobe.
ROSINA: That’s absurd.
Another crash
ALMAVIVA: There’s someone in there!
ROSINA: Who?
ALMAVIVA: How the fuck would I know?
70
ROSINA: Well there’s NO need to use that sort of lan…
ALMAVIVA: WHO’S IN THERE? pause
ROSINA: Ah yes of course. It’s Susanna. I’d forgotten she’d gone in to …try on…some…things.
ALMAVIVA: Susanna.
ROSINA: Uh huh.
ALMAVIVA: So if it’s Susanna why are you in such a state?
ROSINA: Me? (losing her temper) Listen Rocco if anyone’s in a state about that girl it’s YOU.
ALMAVIVA: I want to see her
ROSINA: Yes I’ve been hearing a lot about that
ALMAVIVA: Meaning what?
ROSINA: (backing off) You’ll just have to wait until she’s finished getting changed. She’s only half dressed.
ALMAVIVA: Then I’ll see her half dressed.
Almaviva goes to open the wardrobe door. Rosina loses it
ROSINA: I may not be able to prevent that elsewhere but you’d THINK that in my own bed-room…
Almaviva very surprised to find the door locked. Rattles the handle.
ALMAVIVA: It’s locked! Susanna, if you’re in there, say something!
ROSINA: No don’t!
ALMAVIVA: What?
ROSINA: Susanna I FORBID you to say anything! (to him) I am outraged by your lack of trust!
ALMAVIVA: No. You have a lover. The man who wrote this letter. And he’s IN MY WALK IN WARDROBE!
Intro to music starts
71
ROSINA: I’m telling you, it’s Susanna.
MUSIC 9 I’M WARNING YOU Score p.58
(Susanna or via sortite; complete)
Susanna, Almaviva, Rosina
ALMAVIVA: (singing to the wardrobe door) I’m warning you Susanna You’d better come out now
ROSINA: I don’t think she Can hear you She’s got her headphones on (2)
SUSANNA: (watching from the other side of the road.) Can see him through the window I need to get him out And sneak back in myself
ALMAVIVA: But why’s she wearing headphones? Why?
ROSINA: She likes to Hear music While she works. I asked her just this morning To clean out all my drawers (2)
ALMAVIVA: I know what’s going on here Your lover’s in the wardrobe (2) He’s right behind that door.
ROSINA: I’ve told you twice already She’s cleaning out my drawers (2)
SUSANNA: I need to get back in there He’ll murder them for sure. I have to Get back in there I’m scared that they could die He’s such a jealous guy I feel I’m watching a train-wreck in slow-motion He’s such a jealous guy I don’t know what to try
72 They could die
ROSINA: Insulting me! With this treatment! I’m thinking that it might be time to say goodbye. Insulting me You bastard You’re always so suspicious I don’t know why I try I don’t know why (2) I don’t know why I try
ALMAVIVA: I know what’s going on here. And I will have revenge by and by. I know that he is in there Your actions are suspicious Your story is a lie It’s a lie (3)
ALMAVIVA: Susanna!
ROSINA: Don’t listen dear!
ALMAVIVA: Come out this instant!
ROSINA: No stay there!
ALMAVIVA: I mean it!
ROSINA: You work for me!
ALMAVIVA: I pay your wage!
ROSINA: She’s got her headphones on.
ALMAVIVA: If you don’t come out now girl I’ll sack you and your partner.
ROSINA: That girl is my employee And only I can sack her. Stay in there (2)
ALMAVIVA: I’m warning you be careful (2) Be careful (2)
SUSANNA: Now this is getting scary We’re heading for catastrophe He’s going to lose the plot.
ROSINA: I’m asking you politely
73 To stop and think it over You know I’d never cheat on you Be careful what you say.
ALMAVIVA: The time for words is over If there was someone here with you Then he is going to pay.
SUSANNA: It’s hard to see what I can do. I have to find a way. I have to get back in there I’m scared that he will murder them I think this situation’s gone a bit too far I have to get back in there Or else he’s going to murder them I know they’ve gone too far (2)
ROSINA: Be careful (2) I’m warning you that you can only push me just so far I’m warning you be careful I’m warning you (2) You’re pushing me too far You know you are You’re pushing me too far.
ALMAVIVA: Be careful I’m warning you that you can only push me just so far. I’m warning you be careful I’m warning you (2) You’re pushing me too far You know you are You’re pushing me too far.
ALMAVIVA: I warn you!
ROSINA: I warn you!
SUSANNA: Can’t help you!
ROSINA and ALMAVIVA: If I were you I’d back off I’m warning you (2) You’re pushing me too far You know you are You’re pushing me too far. (3)
SUSANNA: Wish I could work out A way to get him out of there I know they’ve gone too far. (4)
74 Susanna leaves to set off his car alarm
ALMAVIVA: Where’s the key?
ROSINA: I’ve …misplaced it.
ALMAVIVA: Of course you have.
ROSINA: I must ask Susanna…
ALMAVIVA: Right. I’ll kick it in.
ROSINA: It took the decorator three months to source that door!
Almaviva’s car alarm goes off.
ALMAVIVA: That’s my car!
He runs to the window
ROSINA: Perhaps somebody’s stealing it.
ALMAVIVA: on his way out
I’ll be straight back.
ROSINA: Fine
She picks up the remote. He stops
ALMAVIVA: You’re coming with me.
ROSINA: I’m staying here. There’s a very interesting documentary I want to watch.
ALMAVIVA: I’m not leaving you here to let him out.
Pause. During this stand-off Susanna sneaks in unnoticed, and dives under the bed, where she finds Cherubino’s MP3 player
ALMAVIVA: After you.
After a moment Rosina gets up to leave with him. Exit Rosina and Almaviva. He locks the external door.
75 SCENE 15: Susanna, Cherubino
Car alarm is turned off. Susanna sprints over to the walk-in wardrobe with the MP3 player from under the bed.
MUSIC 10 UNLOCK THE STUPID DOOR Score p.72
(Aprite, presto aprite; complete)
Susanna, Cherubino.
SUSANNA: Unlock the stupid door now! (2) I mean it I mean it. Come out now Cherubino Unless you want to die (2)
Cherubino lets himself out
CHERUBINO:I know he’s going to murder me unless I can get out.
SUSANNA: But how, but how?
CHERUBINO: Let’s take a look around.
SUSANNA: (trying the external door)
That psycho’s locked us in here!
SUSANNA and CHERUBINO: That psycho’s locked us in here! We’re going to die, we’re going to die, we’re going to die, we’re going to die We’re going to die, we’re going to die, we’re going to die.
CHERUBINO: (thinking) The outside door is deadlocked
SUSANNA: (hits him) Congratulations Sherlock!
CHERUBINO: I’ll have to use the window I’ve got no other option
SUSANNA: Don’t do it Cherubino! Don’t do it You’ll break your neck for sure.
CHERUBINO: I’ve got no other option
SUSANNA: We’re on the second level.
CHERUBINO: He’ll kill me if he finds me.
76
SUSANNA: You’re jumping on to concrete!
CHERUBINO: Let me go.
SUSANNA: I’m scared you’ll break your neck.
CHERUBINO: Let me go. I would rather break my neck than hurt Rosina. I’m going to jump and save her. I have to. I’ll seeya round.
He kisses her. Tough guy
SUSANNA: Don’t do it Cherubino I’m begging you to stay Don’t do it, don’t do it!
He jumps
SUSANNA: (laughing) So much for breaking his neck.
Locks herself in the wardrobe
77 SCENE 16: Rosina, Almaviva,
External door is unlocked. Enter Rosina and Almaviva. He has taken a golf club from the boot of his car to break down the door. He checks the room, including under the bed where Rosina believes he is about to find the MP3 player.
ALMAVIVA: Excellent. Everything is exactly the way I left it. Now for the last time, would you like to open this door or do you want me to?
ROSINA: There’s no need for any of that.
ALMAVIVA: You or me?
ROSINA: This is silly and anyway I’ve lost the key.
ALMAVIVA: Alright I’ll do it myself (goes to the door)
ROSINA: I’ll open it!
ALMAVIVA: What about the key?
ROSINA: I just remembered somewhere where it might…possibly…be. If you promise to be reasonable when he…
ALMAVIVA: He? I thought it was Susanna!
ROSINA: She! She! I mean she.
ALMAVIVA: So it’s not Susanna? pause
ROSINA: No. But instead it’s someone completely harmless who I’m sure you won’t have a problem with. We were rehearsing an innocent karaoke number for the wedding reception and I swear to you that there was nothing…
ALMAVIVA: Who is it?
ROSINA: Well…No I can’t.
ALMAVIVA: TELL ME!
ROSINA: Okaaay. It’s…not a man.
ALMAVIVA: Not a man?
ROSINA: He’s really just a boy.
ALMAVIVA: A boy?
78 ROSINA: A sweet harmless little boy.
ALMAVIVA: Who?
ROSINA: Cherubino.
ALMAVIVA: Cherubino who works in the mail-room is in my walk-in wardrobe?
ROSINA: Uh huh.
ALMAVIVA: I’ll kill him
MUSIC 11: OUT YOU COME Score p.78
(Act II finale, Esci, omai garzon malnato; continuous until the entrance of Bartolo etc)
Rosina, Almaviva, then Susanna, then Figaro, then Basilio
ALMAVIVA: Out you come you little bastard Out you come and say your prayers.
ROSINA: Darling listen For a minute Take a deep breath and calm down Count to ten and cool it down Take a breath and cool it down
ALMAVIVA: Don’t you dare tell me to cool it (2)
ROSINA: Darling listen
ALMAVIVA: “Darling listen!”
ROSINA: No, I mean it
ALMAVIVA: Spit it out then. I’m waiting. I’m waiting.
ROSINA: We were doing karaoke Don’t be offended. If you find him Without his shirt on Wearing make-up And my stockings…
ALMAVIVA: Wearing make-up, And your stockings
79 This is shocking!
ROSINA: It’s important for his singing!
ALMAVIVA: Can’t believe what I am hearing From the slut I call my wife.
ROSINA: Don’t you use that sort of language!
ALMAVIVA: This is deviant behaviour!
ROSINA: Don’t you talk to me that way!
ALMAVIVA: And he’s underage as well!
ROSINA: I am not a cocktail waitress Or a stripper Don’t you talk to me that way! (3)
ALMAVIVA: It’s perverted and illegal And I’m going to make you pay I am going to make you pay (2)
ALMAVIVA: Where’s that key?
ROSINA: He didn’t do it.
ALMAVIVA: Where’s that key?
ROSINA: He didn’t do it. And you know it!
ALMAVIVA: I know nothing! I’m about to kill your lover I suggest you run for cover You don’t want to die I know Take this final chance and go
ROSINA: Alright, fine, but
ALMAVIVA: Keep your mouth shut
ROSINA: But
ALMAVIVA: Keep your mouth shut.
ROSINA: Nothing happened.
ALMAVIVA: I’m not that stupid I will kill him (2)
80 I will kill that little bastard Then I’ll deal With the slut I call my wife.
ROSINA: Now I’m starting to get frightened ‘Coz I know what he is like He’s so mad with Cherubino That I’m scared he’ll take his life.
ALMAVIVA: Now I know you!
ROSINA: You’re a psycho!
ALMAVIVA: Disgusting woman!
ROSINA: This is bullshit!
ALMAVIVA: I will kill him (2) I will kill that little bastard Then I’ll deal With the slut I call my wife (3) That slut my wife.
ROSINA: Now I’m starting to get frightened ‘Coz I know what you are like You’re so mad with Cherubino I’m afraid you’ll take his life (4)
81 SCENE 17: Rosina, Almaviva and Susanna Score p.87 (Music 11 continues)
Susanna emerges with a dustpan which she empties out the window. She’s wearing Cherubino’s MP3 so it takes a while to hear them.
ALMAVIVA: Susanna!
ROSINA: Susanna!
SUSANNA: Well hi there! Don’t all talk at once now. My that’s a big weapon For such a small problem The “deviant little bastard” Is standing right here. The “deviant little bastard” Is standing right here
ALMAVIVA: I’m staggered I feel like I’m going insane I’m staggered I feel like I’m going insane
ROSINA: I can’t understand it, Susanna explain I can’t understand it Susanna explain.
SUSANNA: My God that was perfect Can’t wait to explain Just look at his face he Is going insane I feel for Rosina she Went through such pain.
ALMAVIVA: He’s in there!
SUSANNA: He might be. I can’t say for sure.
ALMAVIVA: Alright then
SUSANNA and ALMAVIVA: Alright then Let’s look through the door.
SUSANNA: Why don’t you (2) You can’t be too sure
ALMAVIVA: I plan to
82 You can’t be too sure
Exit Almaviva into the dressing room
ROSINA: Susanna Go get me My Prozac And water
SUSANNA: He jumped out the window It’s over, relax!
Enter Almaviva from the dressing room.
ALMAVIVA: It’s hard to believe it. I still can’t conceive it. So badly mistaken Rosina I’m sorry If I hurt your feelings I hope you’ll forgive me But you and Susanna Were not very nice!
ROSINA and SUSANNA: If you’re after pity you’d better think twice (2)
ALMAVIVA: I love you.
ROSINA: Don’t say that.
ALMAVIVA: I mean it
ROSINA: Remember? That slut who betrayed you? Her deviant behaviour?
Bursts into tears
ALMAVIVA: I’m deep in the dog-house I’ll never get out.
SUSANNA: You’ve only got yourself to blame You know that there’s nobody else you can blame.
ROSINA: I’m loving and faithful See how you reward me! It seems that the most I can hope for is this.
ALMAVIVA: (to Susanna) Come on help me out here It’s not going well.
83
SUSANNA: You’ve only got yourself to blame. You know that there’s nobody else you can blame. (relents) Rosina,
ALMAVIVA: My baby!
ROSINA: Just stop there! You’ve no right to say that! I once was your baby But now I am nothing Neglected, abandoned While you play around.
ALMAVIVA: Don’t say that Rosina You’re breaking my heart here. Ah! I’m nothing without you So give me a break. It’s not true So give me a break
ROSINA: You hurt me Desert me Unfaithful and jealous It’s too much to take I swear it’s too much to take
SUSANNA: Come on now Rosina Let’s not be Too mean here He’s suffered enough now Let’s give him a break Come on now Let’s give him a break
ALMAVIVA: But why did you do it?
ROSINA: To teach you a lesson
ALMAVIVA: But you were so terrified!
ROSINA: I’m quite a good actress
ALMAVIVA: The note found by Figaro?
SUSANNA and ROSINA: He wrote it himself to make you jealous
ALMAVIVA: That son of a bitch I…
84 Could kill him!
SUSANNA and ROSINA: If you want forgiveness then you must forgive (2)
ALMAVIVA: If I overlook that Can we make it up now? Rosina I’m begging you To give me a chance
ROSINA: Don’t watch this Susanna I’m starting to weaken When he does that hand thing I don’t stand a chance
SUSANNA: (to Rosina) That’s not such a bad thing Let’s be realistic, Considering what nearly happened today There’s only so much we can ask him to pay (2)
ALMAVIVA: Rosina!
ROSINA: You hurt me
ALMAVIVA: Just look at me.
ROSINA: You hurt me
ALMAVIVA: Oh baby I know it and I’m sorry. From this moment onwards I swear I’ll be everything that you deserve (2) I’ll be everything I know you deserve (2)
SUSANNA: From this moment onwards I hope he’ll be everything that she deserves (2) Maybe everything that she deserves Maybe everything he knows she deserves.
ROSINA: From this moment onwards I hope you’ll be everything that we deserve(2) You’ll be everything you know we deserve (2)
85 SCENE 18: Rosina, Susanna, Almaviva, Figaro Score p.105 (Music 11 continues)
Enter Figaro
FIGARO: Excuse the intrusion I’m after Susanna. The wedding rehearsal is starting at six. You’ve been in here for ages, we need to get going We’ve got to get going or else we’ll be late. (2)
ALMAVIVA: Hold on, just a minute
FIGARO: We’ve got to get going
ALMAVIVA: Hold on, just a minute There’s something I need you to try and explain It won’t take much time.
(aside) He thinks he’s in charge but he tends to forget That I am the boss. I’m ahead of him yet. Now he is the one who is going to sweat (3)
SUSANNA and ROSINA: He’s out of the loop here I hope he can guess It’s going to be tricky (2) He’ll have to confess (4)
FIGARO: I’m out of the loop here I hope I can guess It’s going to be tricky (2) I hope I can guess (4)
Almaviva shows Figaro the letter
ALMAVIVA: You recall this note you gave to me? Do you recognize the hand?
Figaro scrutinizes the letter
FIGARO: I don’t think so. I don’t think so.
SUSANNA: You don’t think so?
FIGARO: No
ROSINA: You don’t think so?
FIGARO: No
86 ALMAVIVA: You don’t think so?
FIGARO: No
SUSANNA, ROSINA and ALMAVIVA: You don’t think so?
FIGARO: No, no, no!
ROSINA: Are you sure you didn’t …
SUSANNA: Write that note yourself babe?
ALMAVIVA: Spit it out mate
FIGARO: I can’t recall.
ROSINA: You remember how you wanted…
SUSANNA: To make Almaviva jealous?
ALMAVIVA: Coming back now?
FIGARO: No, not at all.
ALMAVIVA: Such convenient amnesia You could be a politician But it will not wash with me.
FIGARO: That’s a shame ‘coz it’s the truth sir I don’t know what’s going on here.
SUSANNA and ROSINA: Don’t embarrass yourself further We’ve already blown your cover Give it up it’s over now.
ALMAVIVA: What’s your story?
FIGARO: I don’t have one
ALMAVIVA: (with note) Where’d you get this?
FIGARO: Can’t remember
SUSANNA: Don’t embarrass yourself further
SUSANNA and ROSINA: Don’t embarrass yourself further This is starting to get stupid Give it up it’s over now!
FIGARO: Then we really should get going sir
87 Running late for an appointment The rehearsal for our wedding It was meant to start at six
SUSANNA: So romantic and exciting It’s a girly dream come true Only yesterday I met you Now I’m going to marry you. (2) Now I’m going to marry you
ROSINA: So romantic and exciting It’s a girly dream come true Only yesterday he met you Now he’s going to marry you (2) Now he’s going to marry you
FIGARO: So romantic and exciting All my dreams are coming true. I’m so lucky Now I’m going to marry you.
ALMAVIVA: They are trying to distract me With this sentimental bullshit But it’s not going to happen
FIGARO: Sir I’m sure you can remember
ALMAVIVA: (to Figaro) What exactly do you mean?
FIGARO: All this happening to you (to Susanna) I’m so lucky Now I’m going to marry you (2)
ALMAVIVA: I can’t stand to see them happy (to Rosina who is looking away) Once I felt like this for you. (2)
88 SCENE 19: Almaviva, Rosina, Figaro, Susanna, Basilio Score p.119 (Music 11 continues)
Enter Basilio who has been at drinking since Almaviva got rid of him at the end of Act 1. He sings Antonio’s old lines
BASILIO: ‘Scuse me Sir A word…
ALMAVIVA: You been drinking?
BASILIO: There’s a problem we need to discuss.
FIGARO, ROSINA, SUSANNA and ALMAVIVA: This is not the appropriate venue
BASILIO: Just a minute
FIGARO, ROSINA, SUSANNA and ALMAVIVA: Get out of her (my) room
BASILIO: Just a minute!
FIGARO, ROSINA, SUSANNA and ALMAVIVA: Get out of her (my) room
BASILIO: Now that Figaro’s clearly replaced me I’m aware I’m no longer required I’m not drunk but I’m teary and tired And there’s something I think you should know
ALMAVIVA: Sleep it off mate.
BASILIO: A man jumped from the window
ALMAVIVA: From this window?
SUSANNA and ROSINA: (aside) What a disaster!
BASILIO: Absolutely (on Count’s line “Cosa sento?” Previous “Si” is cut.) Almaviva runs to the window to check
SUSANNA, ROSINA and FIGARO: aside Just when it was over! Surely you don’t believe this old drunk?
ALMAVIVA: Are you sure someone jumped out the window?
89 BASILIO: I assure you I’ve never been surer Then he got up and ran down the street
SUSANNA: to Figaro Cherubino
FIGARO: To Susanna That’s why I came in.
Starts laughing hysterically. (“Ha ha has” are cut)
ALMAVIVA: You gone mad?
BASILIO: What’s so funny
ALMAVIVA: Keep it quiet Let me hear What he says.
BASILIO: to Figaro You’re just trying To distract him And he knows it.
FIGARO: to Basilio You’re just pissed ‘coz you can’t get ahead So you drink and you gossip instead
ALMAVIVA: Now repeat what you just said to me You saw a man jumping?
BASILIO: Yes I did sir
ALMAVIVA: From this window?
BASILIO: Absolutely
SUSANNA, ROSINA, and FIGARO: Can’t you see he’s too drunk to be trusted?
ALMAVIVA: Just ignore them Tell the story! You saw what he looked like?
BASILIO: Well, I tried to.
ALMAVIVA: But?
BASILIO: I couldn’t.
SUSANNA: Look out!
90 Figaro watch it! (2)
ROSINA: Look out! Figaro watch it!
FIGARO: Let me offer some new information There’s no reason why I should conceal it So I’ll humour this guy and reveal it I’m surprised you were able to see But the man you saw jumping was me.
ALMAVIVA: You? But why?
SUSANNA and ROSINA: aside Now that was impressive.
FIGARO: to Almaviva You’re surprised?
BASILIO: I don’t think so
SUSANNA and ROSINA: Let’s see what he does now
FIGARO: I assure You it’s true
ALMAVIVA: It’s hard to believe it It seems so unlikely But maybe
BASILIO: Could have sworn it was somebody shorter You have grown in the last half an hour.
FIGARO: When I jump I become very small.
BASILIO: Who’d have thought it?
SUSANNA and ROSINA: (aside) Never knows when to drop it!
ALMAVIVA: Just describe him.
BASILIO: He was young and athletic.
ALMAVIVA: Cherubino?
SUSANNA and ROSINA: Now we’re done for (2)
FIGARO: Yeah of course mate Cherubino!
91 Who was riding his bike to the station Just in time for the afternoon train.
BASILIO: He did not ride a bike through the window. Surely I’ve made that perfectly plain.
ALMAVIVA: aside What a moron.
SUSANNA and ROSINA: aside Beam me up.
ALMAVIVA: aside I’m losing my patience
SUSANNA and ROSINA: aside Get me out of this mess.
ALMAVIVA: It was you?
FIGARO: Yes it was.
ALMAVIVA: Why’d you jump?
FIGARO: I was scared.
ALMAVIVA: Scared of what?
FIGARO: Scared of you sir! I was waiting inside for Susanna When I heard the domestic get started You were yelling! I’d written that letter… So I jumped in a moment of terror! I’m concerned that I’ve injured my foot.
He starts limping and wincing. Susanna murmurs sympathetically about occupational health and safety or workers comp.
BASILIO: Pulling something out of his pocket. Figaro lunges for it. So the item that fell from the window must be yours then?
ALMAVIVA: intercepting it Well well What have we here?
FIGARO: aside Now that’s buggered it (2)
ROSINA and SUSANNA: Figaro watch it! (2)
92
ALMAVIVA: Do you know? What this document is?
FIGARO: searching his pockets Just a minute I’ll tell you Just a minute
BASILIO: A certificate from university?
FIGARO: The receipt for your wine cask?
ALMAVIVA: to Basilio Get out now This is personal
SUSANNA, ROSINA and FIGARO: Out of here You heard him.
BASILIO: Sir I think that a second opinion…
SUSANNA, ROSINA, FIGARO and ALMAVIVA: Out of here
FIGARO: Can’t you see that he wants you to go? (2)
SUSANNA, ROSINA and ALMAVIVA: Out of here
BASILIO: If you’re sure you no longer require me...
SUSANNA, ROSINA and ALMAVIVA: Out of here And stay out.
Exit Basilio
ALMAVIVA: Tell me Tell me Can’t hear you
ROSINA: whispering It’s the card Rocco wrote for his mother
SUSANNA: whispering Birthday card for his mother!
FIGARO: pretending to remember Now it’s coming (2) It might be that card sir
Almaviva amazed but quickly recovers
93
Cherubino returned it to me
ALMAVIVA: Why’d he do that?
FIGARO: has no idea Because sir…
ALMAVIVA: smiling Because sir? I’m waiting
SUSANNA: remembering Almaviva writing the card in Act I Didn’t sign it!
ROSINA: whispering Didn’t sign it!
FIGARO: It required…
ALMAVIVA: laughing Oh please educate me!
FIGARO: suddenly “inspired” You forgot that you needed to sign it!
ALMAVIVA: looks down and realizes Figaro is right Now that bastard is driving me crazy He would seem to be winning this round (2) Yes he would seem to be winning this round (2)
FIGARO: He suspects something but he can’t prove it Looks like we’ve got away with it now. (2) Yes, looks like we’ve got away with it now (2)
SUSANNA: By the skin of our teeth we’ve escaped it Don’t know how but it looks like we made it We were so close to running aground yes (2) We were so close to running aground.
ROSINA: By the skin of our teeth we’ve escaped it We were so close to running aground Don’t know how but it looks like we made it We were so close to running aground. Yes we were so close to running aground (2)
Pause
94
FIGARO: We’ll be off then Sir. Won’t be in tomorrow so we’ll see you guys at the wedding.
Figaro waits for a response but the Almavivas don’t even hear him. Figaro and Susanna move quickly towards the door. Susanna realizes she’s forgotten the MP3 player & goes back for it. Almaviva watches her while she reaches down to get it. Rosina sees this and goes off for another shower, crying. Exit Figaro and Susanna. Almaviva left centre-stage. Blackout
INTERVAL
95 ACT THREE
It is the following evening at the wedding reception, which is being held in the ALMAVIVA skyscraper. We are in the passage outside the toilets at the venue. One door goes to the gents, one to the ladies. There is a central mirror and rest area in between. The space has been decorated for the reception.
SCENE 20: Almaviva, possibly with the rest of the cast onstage for the aria
MUSIC 12 SO YOU THINK THIS IS OVER Score p.142
(Hai gia vinta la causa; recit complete, aria reduced)
Almaviva
Toilet flushes. Enter Almaviva. Note, in the original production of the aria section, the characters in his imagination were on-stage, dancing at the reception, and Almaviva moved around them unseen.
RECIT
So you think this is over Let me tell you I am just getting started Figaro… That letter… Rosina and the scene in the bedroom Something went on there But I’m still in the dark
Fingering decorations
I still don’t get it Don’t know why it affects me. This wedding And their reception She doesn’t want me And Figaro thinks that he’s my equal And worst of all they seem to be so happy. While my wife plays the martyr And treats me like a monster They will learn who’s in charge here The game is over
96 ARIA
Am I supposed to take it Stand by and smile and fake it And take his hand and shake it Looking him in the eye? I want her and he knows it His arm around her shoulder That smile that says it’s over You want her but she’s mine You want her but she’s mine
But surely I deserve her With all I have to offer So why’s she with that loser? And why am I alone? I know that I affect her She wants it though she hates me I’ll show that man who baits me That I’m not one to cross Show Figaro who’s boss She’ll come across (2)
I don’t intend to suffer While he enjoys his lover I’ll find a way to get her (2) I won’t be made a victim Spectator to their happiness This happiness That mocks all my success Suddenly it seems clear There’s nothing left to fear Why should I let them mock me? When I can say the word and bring them down For shoving me around. She’ll have to come across I’ll show him who’s the boss.
Exit Almaviva.
97 SCENE 21: Rosina
Enter Rosina wearing a pale formal dress which needs to be similar to Susanna’s wedding dress. She also has a contrasting wrap and a veiled hat
MUSIC 13 SO SUSANNA’S NOT HERE Score p.151
(E Susanna non vien/Dove sono; complete)
Rosina
RECIT
So Susanna’s not here Not surprising Why would she even bother To help me with my problem. They looked so happy At the wedding today. What am I saying? It’s pathetic I should go now. But what’s to lose? If she agrees to do it Rocco will come to find her And I’ll be waiting In disguise, in the darkness How awful To have to pretend I’m Susanna ‘Coz it’s the only Way he’d ever touch me. I don’t know what else I can do now I just can’t take anymore Can’t take the fighting The cheating Once beloved Then degraded And now discarded How did our love get here from where we started?
ARIA
Are they over Those hours of pleasure? Is it time to cut the ties? All those promises We made together Now I start to realize All those promises were lies
98
So if this is the end of our marriage Why can’t I just let it go? (2) Deep inside I can’t help wondering If it could be good again By some miracle we could fall In love again.
Are they over Those hours of pleasure? Nothing left but to fantasize. When he took me And swore forever Staring deep into my eyes…
That was then! I’ve got to stop this! Always dreaming of the past Either I should walk away now Or commit to action fast And decide to make it last
If he comes to meet Susanna And I’m waiting in disguise Will he love me or see the lie? I don’t care I have to do it Can’t be passive anymore Might be crazy I can’t help hoping There’s a chance for us once more (2) It’s a hope worth fighting for One last chance worth fighting for Love like before Love like before
99 SCENE 22: Susanna, Rosina
Enter Susanna, wearing a bridal veil and a straight wedding dress similar to Rosina’s. She gives a piece of wedding cake in a serviette to Rosina.
SUSANNA: Sorry. Got stuck with the in-laws. Bloody Bartolo!
ROSINA: I wasn’t sure you were coming.
SUSANNA: So what’s up?
ROSINA: stalling You look lovely. Just… beautiful.
SUSANNA: Thank-you
Pause. Susanna goes to the mirror to touch up her make-up.
ROSINA: Brightly and casually with great effort
I was wondering Susanna… How would it be if you told Rocco you’d changed your mind and that actually you did want to have sex with him… and then how would it be if you … made an appointment?
SUSANNA: Are you mad?
ROSINA: I’d do the rest.
SUSANNA: horrified What rest?
ROSINA: Well…I’d meet him at the rendezvous in disguise.
SUSANNA: You are mad.
ROSINA: I need to make him see me.
Pause
You could talk it over with Figaro
SUSANNA: Nup. He’s got a few trust issues.
ROSINA: Maybe you could teach him a lesson too.
SUSANNA: Rosina I’m sorry but…
ROSINA: Think of it this way. It’s an investment in your careers. Rocco won’t be able to hurt you after this.
Pause. Susanna shrugs
100 Thank you. This means so much to me.
SUSANNA: How do I set it up?
ROSINA: Write a note. I’ll tell you what to say. I know what his…preferences are.
SUSANNA: You know when I applied for a job as your secretary this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.
ROSINA: You’re not my secretary. You’re my best friend!
Susanna finds this slightly surprising
SUSANNA: Fire away.
Rosina gives her the cake serviette to write on. First of all Susanna squirts her perfume on it. As Rosina dictates Susanna writes the note in eye-liner.
MUSIC 14 TO ROCCO Score p.160
(Sull’aria; complete)
Rosina, Susanna
SUSANNA: (writing) To Rocco
ROSINA: (dictating) I can’t hold out any longer
SUSANNA: …any longer
ROSINA: Can’t resist the way I feel
SUSANNA: can’t resist the way I feel
ROSINA: I want to yield to all your desires
SUSANNA: (skeptically) Want to yield?
ROSINA: (getting carried away. Susanna laughs and refuses to write this.) Take me now I’m waiting!
SUSANNA: (substituting) Late this evening, on the rooftop
ROSINA: Do you think it’s clear enough?
SUSANNA: (teasing) I’m not sure it’s clear enough.
ROSINA and SUSANNA: (simultaneously inspired) I’m your woman, let’s make love.
101
ROSINA: (aside) From Rosina to Rocco
SUSANNA: I can’t hold out any longer
ROSINA: Can’t resist the way I feel
SUSANNA: Late this evening on the rooftop
ROSINA: Want to yield to your desire
SUSANNA: Want to yield to your desire
ROSINA: To your desire
SUSANNA: To your desire
SUSANNA and ROSINA: I’m your woman, let’s make love (2)
SUSANNA: It’s clear enough
ROSINA: It’s clear enough With all my love (3)
SUSANNA: With all your love (3)
Exit Rosina crying.
102 SCENE 23: Susanna, Almaviva, also Basilio and Figaro in the playout
Enter Almaviva, coming up behind Susanna and surprising her. Her first objective is to escape since she’d prefer to give him the note in public where she’d be safe. He prevents her escape, so she makes a decision to give him the note on the spot.
ALMAVIVA: What was all that about? You upsetting my wife?
SUSANNA: No sir.
ALMAVIVA: Easy to do. She’s very highly strung.
SUSANNA: She’s got a bit on her mind.
ALMAVIVA: She’s a sensitive person Susanna. She needs to be taken care of.
SUSANNA: I know that.
Pause
ALMAVIVA: I don’t know why I don’t sack you.
SUSANNA: I think you do.
ALMAVIVA: Plenty of good-looking girls here.
SUSANNA: You can only look for so long.
ALMAVIVA: I’m not interested in playing games.
SUSANNA: Nor am I.
Pause
ALMAVIVA: What about you Susanna? Are you highly strung?
She crosses over and gives him the note
SUSANNA: Nup.
ALMAVIVA: Girls like you can’t afford to be.
SUSANNA: That’s exactly right.
ALMAVIVA: Rethinking that transfer?
SUSANNA: Maybe I am.
ALMAVIVA: Screws up the note and throws it away unread
103 You’ve changed your tune. Yesterday it was all moral outrage.
SUSANNA: Cherubino was under the desk.
ALMAVIVA: Okay. Before that. Basilio says you’ve always said no.
SUSANNA: Why does Basilio need to know about this?
Pause. He’s nearly hooked
ALMAVIVA: Hypothetically. If this were to happen. Where could we meet?
SUSANNA: On the roof-top. I’ve got a thing about being outdoors.
ALMAVIVA: Have you now?
SUSANNA: It’ll be dark. There’s no moon.
ALMAVIVA: Ashamed?
SUSANNA: Maybe.
ALMAVIVA: Makes it better.
SUSANNA: I’ll meet you in half an hour.
ALMAVIVA: Tonight? It’s your wedding reception!
SUSANNA: I want you to be the first. Sir.
As intro to the duet starts he picks up the letter
MUSIC 15 I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME WAIT Score p.164
(Crudel, perche finora; complete)
Almaviva, Susanna
ALMAVIVA: I can’t believe you made me wait till your wedding day When up Till now You looked the other way.
SUSANNA: You ought to know by now sir Women like to play
ALMAVIVA: Maybe you’re still just playing
104
SUSANNA: I want that transfer sir
ALMAVIVA: What are you really saying?
SUSANNA: I’m ready to defer.
ALMAVIVA: You mean it?
SUSANNA: Yeah
ALMAVIVA: Won’t contravene it?
SUSANNA: No
ALMAVIVA: It’s an agreement?
SUSANNA: Yes, I concur. I want that transfer sir.
Almaviva drops the note in distraction as she goes past
ALMAVIVA: (aside) I think I’m falling for this woman Thought I’d forgotten how. I think I’m falling for this woman I really thought I’d forgotten how.
As both of them are singing to the audience Basilio crosses upstage of them. Susanna just misses it
SUSANNA: (aside) I think I’m going to vomit Because he is so foul I’m hoping someone walks past the toilets now.
ALMAVIVA: You’ll meet me on the rooftop?
SUSANNA: I’ll meet you there tonight.
ALMAVIVA: And you won’t disappoint me?
SUSANNA: As long as there’s no light.
ALMAVIVA: You mean it?
SUSANNA: Yeah
ALMAVIVA: Won’t contravene it?
105 SUSANNA: No
ALMAVIVA: It’s an agreement.
SUSANNA: (confused) No.
ALMAVIVA: No?
SUSANNA: Yes! I want that transfer sir
ALMAVIVA: Won’t contravene it?
SUSANNA: No
ALMAVIVA: It’s an agreement?
SUSANNA: Yes
ALMAVIVA: But you don’t mean it?
SUSANNA: (confused) Yes.
ALMAVIVA: Yes?
SUSANNA: No! I promise I’ll be there
ALMAVIVA: (increasingly ridiculous) I can’t wait any longer Let’s do it here and now I can’t wait any longer Susanna Don’t make me beg you now Come and I’ll show you how Let’s do it here and now Please let me show you how Please can we do it now?
SUSANNA: (increasingly desperate to escape) But waiting makes it stronger And there are people around. But waiting makes it stronger Although I’d love to do it right here and now That’s something I can’t allow. (2) You’ll have to wait for now See you in half an hour
She escapes. Almaviva is left on the ground, lunging after her. Enter Figaro on his way to the toilet. Almaviva pretends to be doing up his shoe. Exit Almaviva. Figaro sees the note and picks it up. Scene change into Act 4 begins, while the cast hum Music 14.
106 ACT FOUR
SCENE 24: Basilio
Late at night. Rooftop of the ALMAVIVA sky-scraper where the reception is being held. Starlight above and street-light below. One entrance upstage (the stairwell.) Two places big enough to hide people, in the first production they were packing crates covered in black plastic and bubble wrap. Enter Basilio, drunk from the reception. He urinates discreetly upstage and then comes downstage to look down at the street. He should sing this very cheerily, with no self-pity
MUSIC 16 WHY DO WEDDINGS Score p.170
(In quegli anni; reduced)
Basilio
ARIA
Why do weddings always bring out The worst qualities in me? Always get the heeby jeebies All that innocence and cheer I can’t help but watch and sneer. ‘Coz I know what’s going to follow Disillusionment and pain You get older And it gets harder To stay confident and sane It’s an act I can’t sustain. That’s why weddings always bring out Something cynical in me. While the woman right beside me Sheds a sentimental tear I can’t help but watch and sneer. My psycho-analyst would say that’s fear I just anaesthetize myself with beer Can’t face my fear (2)
(looking down) There’s my car! The second-best car in the staff carpark. Only Mr Almaviva has a better car than me. Not that anyone cares. Now now, I shouldn’t talk like that. What would Dr Bartolo say? There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a good car. What did he tell me to work on this week? Ah yes. Self-loathing. Look, there’s Figaro’s car. Right underneath me. Why do people drive those ugly things? He’ll probably trade-up now he’s a senior executive. Somebody’s put one of those wedding dolls on the front. A lifeless symbol. Probably grinning. I know how she
107 feels. HELLO! HELLO DOWN THERE! (waits for the reply) Rude bitch. Maybe she can’t hear me. I could always go down and make sure. They’d all come out of the reception, throwing bouquets and there I’d be. Splattered all over the windscreen. What would they say? Poor old Bazza, ever the drama queen. No quiet little overdose at home for Baz. Would he miss me? Probably not. But that wouldn’t matter because I’d be dead. Dead. Deadybones.
(talking to his drink) My consolation. Let’s never, never fight again. I have no idea how we stayed apart for so long. Absolutely miserable, and there’s no point. No point. Beautiful night. Look at those stars…
(falls asleep)
108 SCENE 25: Figaro (and a sleeping Basilio) Then Susanna
Enter Figaro, with the note he found. He’s been drinking. He looks at Basilio for a moment, feeling unexpectedly sympathetic and then improvises a pillow for him.
MUSIC 17 I DON’T BELIEVE IT Score p.174
(Tutto e disposto/aprite un po; recit complete, aria reduced)
Figaro
RECIT:
FIGARO: I don’t believe it I waited all that time for this
Sound from the stairwell. He goes to check.
Someone is coming Susanna? No-one’s there. I’m going crazy I feel like it’s a nightmare. And soon I will wake up and Susanna will be there. Susanna Did you have to Choose the day of our wedding To destroy me forever? You must hate me To have planned it all so coldly in advance.
Oh! Susanna Susanna! How could I be so stupid? But you were so convincing. Could have sworn that you loved me. And that I made you happy
But here you are in writing Inviting… How could this happen?
109 ARIA
Sung to the men in the audience. Absolutely furious, and he should be crying by the end. Halfway through, Susanna enters upstage, unobserved by Figaro
You fellas who imagine That you got something special I hate to have to tell you That something is a lie They haven’t got it in them mate now let me tell you why I know she seems amazing I’m sure that you adore her The truth is that you bore her That smile is just for show It’s better that you know Just cut your loss and go.
You think that you’re safe and so you open your heart Reveal insecurity and offer your love I know it’s embarrassing and painful to admit But maybe she’s acting and she couldn’t give a shit She’s using you for back-up There’s someone she likes better She might be a good actor But all of the Time- while-you’re-making-an-arse-of-yourself-she-is Cheating-on-you-with-your-prick-of-a-boss-and-it’s Too much it’s too much to take She never loved you the whole thing’s fake
Ah, why did I even bother? It’s all just a painful mistake I wish I had never met her I still can’t believe it was fake
She loves someone else She loves someone else She loves someone else.
Figaro hears Susanna move and hides
110 SCENE 26: Figaro, Susanna, Basilio, Rosina
Susanna comes forward over the intro. She pretends she’s unaware of Figaro and moves around, forcing him to change his hiding place.
MUSIC 18 NOW AT LAST Score p.181
(Giunse alfin il momento/ deh vieni; complete)
Susanna
RECIT:
SUSANNA: Now at last comes the moment That we waited so long for. Susanna and her lover. I’m kind of nervous But mainly just excited. And I want this too much to want to fight it. Look at the stars! I’m burning with desire See them reflect that fire They know it They know I’m ready All this is perfect. Feel my heart It’s steady.
ARIA:
So come and get it now my beautiful lover Find the woman underneath the cover I wanted you the moment I first saw you Now’s the time to open up before you. Alone and safe up high above the city Down below are the lights, so bright and pretty. The world is holding its breath anticipating Come on lover I’m ready and I’m waiting Open the treasure I’m calling you to pleasure Come now, come now. Come and we’ll share it All of our love, My lover Come and we’ll share it All of our love (2) My lover
111
During the playout, while Figaro has his head in his hands, Rosina enters and takes Susanna’s place, sitting down centre-stage. They exchange identities. Susanna gives her the wedding veil (covering her face) and a squirt of perfume. Then Susanna takes Rosina’s hat and wrap. The dresses are already similar. Susanna goes to hide on the opposite side of the stage to Figaro.
112 SCENE 27: Rosina, Cherubino, Almaviva, with Basilio, Figaro and Susanna also on stage
Enter Cherubino from the stairwell, very drunk. Cherubino spots Rosina and thinks she’s Susanna. He pulls out a stolen cigarette.
CHERUBINO: Hey Susanna! Want a smoke? That’s right you don’t do you.
Puts it away, embarrassed.
I’m going to give up. My singing teacher says it’s really bad for my voice. Great wedding by the way. You looked awesome. And I thought my singing went really well. I had the passion going. I was in the zone. Is that veil itchy?
She flinches away
Sorry, sorry it just looks itchy.
Moving in. Sits on the ground next to her, leaning on her. A drunk kid suffering from head-spins. Enter Almaviva from the upstage stairwell.
But I dig the mystery woman thing…awesome. Did you see what Rosina was wearing? Even though she’s getting old and wrinkly she’s still a piece. She’s a bit fat but in a good way, in that kind of…squishy way. Was that punch alcoholic? Look don’t get the wrong idea or anything but Figaro said maybe you’d let me have a feel of your…
He tries. She hits him
Fair enough. He’s excellent Figaro.
Almaviva moves and makes a sound.
What was that? I’ll be spewing if Uncle Rocco finds me up here. That was unbelievable yesterday when I was under the desk. That guy knows how to treat a woman. Chicks dig all that full-on stuff hey? But he’s got the worst garlic breath. And his fat roll hangs over his belt at the back.
Almaviva checks his breath and back fat. He starts coming forward
But you looked so hot! When I was under the desk I couldn’t stop looking at your legs. Can’t believe I’m here with you now. The only thing that would make this better besides not being nauseous is Rosina sitting on the other side of me leaning forward in that squishy dress…
Almaviva picks him up and chucks him down the stair-well
113 SCENE 28: Rosina, Almaviva, Figaro and Susanna watching. Basilio asleep.
ALMAVIVA: sucking in his fat
Little shit. Gonna get rid of him. You shouldn’t have to put up with that. Tonight has to be perfect.
ROSINA: Loses her nerve. Stands up and goes to him
Rocco…
ALMAVIVA: No. Don’t talk. Listen. Leave it all up to me.
Kisses her through the veil. She goes to lift the veil.
Keep it on. That way you won’t have to smell my garlic breath right?
Kisses her again
You’re shaking. So nervous you’re shaking. Now listen to me. I know this is your first time so I’m going to go very, very slowly. Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to know what to do. That’s it. Just let me…let me…
Takes her to the ground
Don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you. So beautiful. You stand up to me. I love it. Reminds me of someone I used to know.
She starts to take control. After a few moments Basilio rolls over. Almaviva and Rosina hide in one of the packing crates on OP.
114 SCENE 29: Susanna, Figaro, Basilio, Cherubino
As Rosina and Almaviva disappear into the crate, Figaro leaps up and is about to expose them. But Susanna stands up from her hiding place just in time to prevent him. She has Rosina’s hat on with the veil over her face. She is also wearing Rosina’s wrap. Sometime in this scene Cherubino sneaks back in to watch. He hides in the crate on PS. Basilio has also rolled into this crate at some stage.
SUSANNA: in Rosina’s voice
Hello Figaro!
FIGARO: Rosina!
SUSANNA: Lovely reception. You’re both so clever!
FIGARO: You need to see this.
SUSANNA: And weren’t you lucky with the weather!
FIGARO: Your husband and my wife…
SUSANNA: Loved the disposable cameras. Whose idea was that?
FIGARO: They’re in there!
SUSANNA: Momentarily forgetting to disguise her voice in her concern that they’ll be overheard.
You don’t have to shout!...darling
FIGARO: Recognizes her with great joy but manages to conceal it from her.
I’m sorry. I was…overcome
SUSANNA: Yes it’s all terribly upsetting. I’m sure I’ll have to take a sleeping pill.
FIGARO: No no, that’s not what I meant. I’m overcome … by you Rosina! Your perfume, your voice, your voluptuous figure.
SUSANNA: Is that so.
FIGARO: The boss’s wife!
SUSANNA: You realize I’m completely frigid?
FIGARO: I’ll be the judge of that.
SUSANNA: What about Susanna?
115 FIGARO: Who cares? Don’t get me wrong, she’s a great little girl but you are in a different league. You’ve got class!
SUSANNA: You want class? I’ll show you class
She hits him
FIGARO: Mmmm, feisty!
She hits him again
FIGARO: Is this what they teach you at private school?
She hits him again
FIGARO: When do we get to the good bit?
They collapse laughing and he takes the hat off and kisses her
FIGARO: That really hurt!
SUSANNA: You got off lightly.
FIGARO: I know.
SUSANNA: Shoulda trusted me.
FIGARO: I know-I know-I know.
They kiss
FIGARO: Shoulda told me
SUSANNA: I know-I know-I know
They kiss
FIGARO: So how’d you do it?
SUSANNA: I’ll tell you later. Maybe.
They are looking at the crate that Almaviva and Rosina crawled into
FIGARO: How can you not recognize your own wife?
SUSANNA: Love is blind.
FIGARO: That gives me an idea.
SUSANNA: Here we go.
116
FIGARO: seductively Put the hat back on
SUSANNA: suspiciously Am I going to like this?
FIGARO: I reckon you are.
117 SCENE 30: Figaro, Susanna, Almaviva, Basilio, Cherubino, Rosina
MUSIC 19: AH ROSINA Score p.186
(Act IV Finale excerpt, Si madama; continuous from this point)
Figaro, Susanna, Almaviva, Cherubino. Basilio, Rosina
Figaro’s voice is a parody of a ridiculous Latin lover with a heavy accent. He is pretending to be the man in the anonymous note to Rosina. Figaro and Susanna are both having trouble holding back laughter. It’s funnier if they’re not touching.
FIGARO: Ah Rrrrrosina, I must serenade you
SUSANNA: (this appears as the Count’s line in the opera score)
So romantic. Now it’s time I repaid you
FIGARO: Won’t you feel my enormous equipment?
SUSANNA: You are three times the size of my husband!
Figaro and Susanna run and hide. Almaviva comes out doing himself up.
ALMAVIVA: Where’d they get to? I’ll kill them.
FIGARO and SUSANNA All my fantasies are coming true now It’s as good as I thought it would be Can’t believe what you’re doing to me I’m so satisfied se-xu-a-lly
Figaro allows himself to be caught by Almaviva, faking great fear. Susanna goes to hide in the same place as Cherubino and Basilio
ALMAVIVA: There you are you can’t escape now!
FIGARO: Run Rosina!
ALMAVIVA: I am going to kill you slowly.
FIGARO: He has got me Save yourself ‘coz I’m a goner (on Antonio’s line in the opera score)
BASILIO: From inside the crate
What exactly’s going on here?
118 ALMAVIVA: I’ll take good care of your Susanna After all she’s turning out to be my type. And as for Rosina I’m coming to get you They’d stone you in Jordan, adulterous wife!
Cherubino crawls out of the crate on the other side. Almaviva prevents his escape.
Cherubino!
Basilio crawls out. Almaviva sings Antonio’s line
Basilio!
FIGARO: One more now.
Susanna crawls out, still disguised as Rosina
FIGARO and ALMAVIVA: Rosina!
ALMAVIVA: throws her to the ground
You have here before you A whore who Has shamed herself and her man.
SUSANNA: (in Rosina’s voice) Forgive me, forgive me!
ALMAVIVA: You must be joking!
FIGARO: Forgive her, forgive her!
ALMAVIVA: You’ve got to be joking!
SUSANNA, FIGARO, BASILIO, CHERUBINO: Forgive her (me)
ALMAVIVA: No!
SUSANNA, FIGARO, BASILIO, CHERUBINO: Forgive her (me)
ALMAVIVA: No!
SUSANNA, FIGARO, BASILIO, CHERUBINO: Forgive her (me)
ALMAVIVA: No! (6)
Rosina emerges from the crate on OP
ROSINA: You might reconsider your answer for me.
119 Figaro sings Bartolo’s line. Almaviva switches his focus between the two Rosinas. Both women slowly unveil.
ALMAVIVA: But you were… And we did… I just can’t Believe it I can’t hide the wrong that I’ve done What have I done?
FIGARO, BASILIO, CHERUBINO: But you were… And he did… He just can’t… Believe it He can’t hide the wrong he has done What has he done?
ALMAVIVA: Rosina, forgive me Forgive me, forgive me.
ROSINA: I’m braver than you are My answer is yes (2)
TUTTI: So magic can happen The answer is love (2) Ah, now I believe I can rise up above Ah now I Believe it I’ll rise up I promise to love.
Now at last our story’s over After all that we have been through (2) We come back again to love Somehow we come back to love Now it Is time to Get back to The party ‘Coz the beer is getting warm while we are out here. Now’s the moment to start over Now’s the time to celebrate (2)
So we come to (9 or something) So we come to our goodbye (2) It’s party-time We have to fly So it’s goodbye.
120
In the play-out they all leave the stage. Susanna leaves last. She sees the note Figaro threw down and picks it up, drawn back into that world. After a second she throws it away and joins the others.
121