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WELCOME TO WASPS

"What is written without effort is in In order to administer the general read without pleasure" Dr. sponsorship monies of £2.6 billion Johnson jointly advanced to Wasps by Mr John Paul GETTY and the Sultan of I expect to read in Monday's Tabloids BRUNEI, Wasps have engaged as as follows:- financial advisers, Mr G Soros and Mr "WASPS SCOOP THE POOL" E George who will assist new Director Wasps have signed up no less than 7 Finance, Lord LAWSON. World Class players, A Mr D Best of (NEC) Harlequins (NZ) (for a contract at £600, 000 pa), when asked to comment said that his () (for £350, 000 Club "was not interested in big pa), (for £3, 000 pa), Rob named has-beens, preferring, as in Wainwright (Scotland) (for £400, 000 the past, to encourage its loyal, pa), Andre Joubert and Joel young players coming up through the Stransky (South Africa) each for ranks". £500, 000 pa and Federico Mendez If you consider this to be a load of ill- (Argentina for £250, 000. In addition, informed tripe, concocted solely negotiations are well advanced with within the febrile protein that passes both Phillipe St Andre and for brains of the journalists in this Northampton's Abdel Benazzi of Nations infamous Tabloid Press, then France. I suggest you read their recent In addition Wasps have purchased outpourings, which are of equal Aldford House a luxury block of flats value. in Park Lane to accommodate these If this is what we are now to expect, players who are all moving in this then I have to seriously consider Wednesday to comply with the latest taking early retirement from my of King Canute's lead balloons of Wasps Press Officer contract at £550, 180 day residential qualification in 000 pa and cash in my share options. accordance with Pugh's law. by John Gasson, Wasps Press Officer 41110