1.
CHARACTERS
KYLE, Male. Mid 20s. The Doorman of a luxurious building in Manhattan. He is the charming and bright-eyed underdog who appreciates the little things in life. He dreams of one day studying music at The Berklee School of Music.
GARY, Male. Early 20s. The janitor, as well as Lebron’s partner in crime during the night shifts. Gary remains somewhat of a comedic mystery throughout the entire play. We never learn any important information about Gary, except for that he is a janitor. LUX, Female. Early 20s. A sweet young woman who lives in the building where Lebron works. An aspiring musician who has trouble financially supporting herself, and has turned to an online dating service called "Seeking Arrangements". But as her admiration for Lebron grows throughout the story, she becomes more conflicted with her lifestyle choices. RANDY, Male. Late 30s or early 40s. A disgustingly rich, arrogant older man that pays Lux to spend time with him. Otherwise known as Lux’s "Sugar Daddy". He can be surprisingly kind at times, but is more often seductive and manipulating. He ultimately leaves a bittersweet taste in our mouthes. ELLE, Female. Early 20s. One of Lux’s roommate. A care-free millennial with no obvious career path in mind. She is free-spirit, incredibly promiscuous, and uses her sexuality to her advantage. She is an advocate and promoter of the sugar baby website, "Seeking Arrangements". LOLA, Female. Early 20s. Lux’s other roommate, as well as the new manager of Dylan’s Candy Bar. Lola is a hard-working young woman who lives paycheck to paycheck. A naïve rule follower who has no idea her roommate’s have double lives as "sugar babies". SETTING
New York City, Present day. There are three locations in this story: The Lobby, The Girl’s Apartment, and a penthouse hotel room. At the top of the play: Two ottomans, center stage. One large desk, stage right, with a swivel office chair facing in towards the center. A bowl full of candy sits on the desk and a metal trash can is placed in front. The piano is stage right. 2.
ACT 1 PRE-SHOW MUSIC PLAYS. 1 WELCOME HOME DARLING
LIGHTS UP. KYLE, the doorman, sits at a desk in the lobby of a luxurious building in Manhattan. He is furiously writing something in his notebook. He sometimes stops to think, staring off into space. GARY, a janitor, is mopping in the background. KYLE (Breaking a really intense silence:) Whoa! I have no idea what I was just thinkin about. I don’t even think I was thinkin. GARY That used to happen to me a lot as an Uber driver! KYLE You used to drive for Uber too?! GARY Yupppppppppp. KYLE You know the Brooklyn Bridge?! (Duh.) Well, once it took a girl throwin’ up in the backseat to stop me from drivin right off it! GARY Oh, yeah. Definitely been there before!
KYLE That’s why I stopped drivin’ Ubers... Plus, I control the music, not some stupid white girl in the backseat who only gives you one star because you don’t have an aux cord. BOTH (Mocking white girl tone.) "Aux Chord". GARY I can’t stand girls like that. (Long beat.) So, how’s the college application coming along? KYLE Not great. I don’t know where to start. 3.
GARY Just start with whatever runs across your brain first. Does that help? KYLE Not really. GARY Oh. Okay, well tell me this! What are you thinking about right now? No thinking! Go!
KYLE Hmm... uh... My mom? GARY Dude, what? That’s pretty weird...
KYLE Well... No, I mean, I wish I could get inside my mom’s head and get to know her mind better. Every head is a world, ya know. A big ol’ galaxy spinning around up there and no one else knows which way it’s turnin. Even if I told you everythin’ in this head of mine, you still wouldn’t know anything about my brain constellations. You can’t ever know. There’s just no way. I mean, I sure as hell never know what’s goin’ on up there. But somethin’ always is, ya know? Some great big daydream or some song just stuck to your forehead. Or some girl.
LUX enters from elevators. LUX Hi, Kyle.
KYLE Hi, Lux. LUX exits through the lobby doors.
GARY Some girl? Or that girl? KYLE Who, Lux?! I don’t think about Lux!
GARY gives KYLE a "Don’t lie to me" look. Aren’t you suppose to be on a break or somethin’? GARY (Mocking:) "Hi, Kyle!"
GARY exits. 4.
LIGHTS FOCUS IN ON LEBRON. KYLE That’s Lux. She’s always sayin’ hi to me. Most people in this building, they just walk right on by. Nothin’. But not Lux. Lux says Hi. All pretty. Hi. LIGHTS SWITCH TO LUX.
LUX Hello? Hi, yes, I see you. (Waves hand.) Do you see me? Ugh, okay, whatever. I’ll just come to you. One second. (Hangs up.) This fucking Uber better have an Aux chord.
LUX exits. LIGHTS SWITCH BACK TO KYLE. KYLE sings WELCOME HOME DARLING.
WELCOME HOME DARLING Welcome Home Darling, How was your day Hope the people were charming, And it all went your way
My how I missed you, But that’s nothin new It snows through the weekend, It always does without you Get home safe baby, It’s been a long night
Hope you’re home warm and cozy, And you’re sleeping alright Today I miss you, But I always do Light of my life today I give credit to you
And I think I like you Just like the stars hold the moon And I’ll hold right onto you
Just tell me when to let go Just tell me when to let go Cuz if you don’t then I won’t
I really hope that you don’t So just tell me when to let go 5.
And if you don’t then I won’t BLACKOUT. 2 LOST
LIGHTS UP. LUX is lying on the bed of a penthouse hotel with RANDY. They are both half-dressed, post-sex. Their clothes are scattered about the room. LUX is drinking a milkshake. RANDY I’m so glad you didn’t cancel on me after all. LUX It’s Thursday! Why would I cancel? RANDY Last week you said you had plans! Randy recieves a text. He sends a text back.
LUX No plans. I think my roommates forgot. I mean, they didn’t wish me a Happy Birthday or anything. Can you believe that? Facebook even sends reminders, and they still forgot!
RANDY is glued to his phone, not listening. I mean, I kinda expected that. Well, not from Lola actually. Silence. RANDY sends another text. It just would have been cool if they remembered, I guess. RANDY Sorry, sorry. I’m listening.
LUX No, it really doesn’t matter. RANDY I’m the best plans anyways.
RANDY is still texting. LUX rolls her eyes, but he does not notice. Right, Darling? 6.
LUX Can’t argue with that. RANDY So, you’re finally legal!
LUX I already was legal. RANDY I thought you turned twenty-one today?
LUX No, twenty-two. RANDY Oh, really? I’m all mixed up.
LUX No biggy. RANDY How does it feel? Another year older.
LUX The same. I guess I feel older though. RANDY Well, you don’t look any older.
LUX You probably see me too often to notice. RANDY Man, I miss my twenties.
LUX OK, Dad. RANDY Seriously! I’d do anything to be twenty again. LUX Aren’t you the one always saying age is just a number...?
RANDY Yeah... but my twenties though. Those were the best years of my life. LUX Ugh, why does everyone always say that?? 7.
RANDY Because It’s true! They are! LUX Then why do I feel like I’m doing nothing but wasting them?
RANDY That’s what your twenties are for! You’re smart, you’ll figure it out.
RANDY Checks his phone again. Shit. Gotta run. LUX Already? I thought-
RANDY I’d love to stay but I’m surprising the wife with Hamilton tickets. LUX Wow. Nice surprise.
RANDY Fucking pricey for some stupid play if you ask me. RANDY gives LUX a kiss on the forehead. He begins to exit. Oh, I almost forgot. RANDY hands LUX a copy of Lolita wrapped in ribbon. LUX For me? RANDY Happy Birthday, my Darling Lux.
LUX Awe! You didn’t have to do that. RANDY Enjoy this view for me.
LUX Thanks. I will. RANDY See you next Thursday? 8.
LUX See you next Thursday.
RANDY exits. LUX sings LOST. LOST E/B/C#m/Asus
[Verse 1] She is young but she’s tough And she knows what she wants
She takes and she takes She learns quite a lot How to be who she is
Forgive who she’s not How to hate just a little And love quite a lot
She’s reckless but smart Sometimes too lucky Her parents don’t know
She spends too much money She gets her shit done She does her shit well
I bet that most of you Probably can’t tell that She’s lost, So lost
Can’t pick the right track Went down the wrong path and got Lost, So lost
Won’t draw up a map Can’t find her way back 9.
So she’s lost [Verse 2] She’s not who you think
That she probably is She’ll lie to your face So that she can fit in
Ashamed of her secrets Keeps them inside Hiding them where she knows
No one can find them And she makes pretty things Just to get by
The ugly she knows Explains why she cries She’s broken and bruised
But she never shows it So the rest of the world Can’t possibly know that
She’s lost, So lost Can’t pick the right track Went down the wrong path
And got Lost, So lost Won’t draw up a map
Can’t find her way back So she’s lost [closing] 10.
This is a lesson Lifes full of lessons This is a lesson I’ve learned
BLACKOUT. 3 DEREK Elle and LOLA are sitting on the ground, wearing candy necklaces around their necks. They are drunkenly playing game cube and eating candy. ELLE OH MY GOD. You’ll never guess who I saw last night!
LOLA Who? ELLE Derek!
LOLA Why? ELLE It was so random, I was at that Irish Pub on Ave A. You know the one, right? With that bright neon PBR sign?
LOLA Every bar in the East Village has a neon PBR sign... ELLE It’s the same one we all used to go to! Lux kept us waiting there once while she sucked off the bartender’s boyfriend in the photo booth!! Remember? LOLA Oh, yeah! And when the bartender saw her, Lux choked on her own spit!!! God, I forgot about that. We haven’t been there in kinda a while. ELLE I still go all the time. But that’s cuz the bartender doesn’t know she and I are friends. So anyways, I was there last night and Derek- LOLA Ew, God. Derek. 11.
ELLE I know, right? He’s absolutely unreal.
LOLA Always making those fiercely sexual comments.. ELLE Not gonna lie, I kinda got off on it.
LOLA Oh no, don’t tell me... ELLE I couldn’t fucking help myself.
LOLA You fucked Derek?!? Are you stable??? ELLE Don’t judge me!! It was actually satisfying.
LOLA Satisfying??? Eww!!!! ELLE Whatever! -at least the sex was amazing. Swear to god- top three. Ever.
LOLA You’ve gotta be kidding me. ELLE I even did that thing where you fall in love with the person for a brief moment, ya know. LOLA Are you hearing yourself right now?!
ELLE Not like, real love... you know I don’t do that shit! LOLA raises an eyebrow at ELLE. So, I woke up this morning-
LOLA Of course you stayed the night. ELLE Well duh, I was obviously too drunk to get home! So, I’m laying there, naked and alone in his super gross man-cave, and I realized - he never asked for my phone number. Or my Facebook, Instagram, Snap, Blah Blah Blah, etc. and so on. This motherfucker doesn’t even know where I live. He literally knows nothing about me. 12.
LOLA I fucking hate Derek. ELLE Oh, do you? I couldn’t tell!
LOLA No, seriously. I really, really, really hate- ELLE Listen! This idiot has literally no way of finding me! Even if his life depended on it!! ELLE pulls out a jar full of sour patch watermelon. So, I stole his pot!
LOLA OH MY GOD! LOLA opens the jar full of gumballs and takes a huge whiff. Derek, I love you!
ELLE So I guess none of us can go to that bar anymore. LUX enters, drinking a milkshake and violently texting.
LUX I fucking hate Uber! ELLE About time. Jesus Christ.
LOLA Where have you been? LUX How do I only have two stars on Uber? What the fuck, How’s that even possible?! Two stars!! LOLA How do you even see your Uber rating????
LUX It’s on the app now. ELLE Lux, you throw up almost every time you take an Uber. 13.
LUX No! I didn’t throw up today!! ELLE Well, that’s pretty unusual.
LUX Shut up. I always pay the fine immediately. LOLA They charge it automatically.
LUX Yeah. So I pay it immediately. LOLA Oh my god, I only have one and a half stars! But I’m so polite to them! ELLE I have five stars but that’s because the Uber drivers in Marrakesh loved me.
LUX Loved you or loved your blowjobs? ELLE Lux! I thought I told you to never tell ANYONE about that!
LOLA Whatever, I knew anyways. ELLE What?! When the fuck did you tell her?!
LUX YOU told US! Remember? ELLE I did?! LOLA Why do you even care so much about your Uber rating anyways?
LUX I mean, if the Uber community finds you to be a shitty individual, then you probably are one... ELLE Oh my god, it’s like, a metaphor...! 14.
LUX Whatever. I’m just gonna use Lyft. LUX notices the Gamecube. Wait, when did we get a Gamecube?
LOLA It’s a gift from Bobby. Happy Birthday! LUX And you opened it without me?!
ELLE Well, that’s what happens when you’re five hours late to your own birthday. LUX unplugs the Gamecube.
LUX What? LOLA Surprise.
LUX Awe shit guys, you should have told me! ELLE About your surprise party?
LUX Well yeah... then I could have been there. (beat.) Where’d you get all the weed? LOLA She stole it from Derek. LUX Fuck Derek.
LOLA She did that, too. LUX Nope, nope, nope! I am way too tired to tell you how wrong that is.
LUX begins to get ready for bed. She changes into PJs, unpacks her purse, and brushes her teeth. (To Lola:) Lola. How was it? 15.
LOLA Epic!! If someone told me I’d one day be the manager of DYLAN’S FREAKIN’ CANDY BAR, I’d tell you to shut your lying’ mouth!!
ELLE Why? Cuz you’re diabetic? LOLA No! Because it’s a big deal!
ELLE It’s really not that big a deal... LOLA I’m making $21 an hour now!!! $160 bucks a day! Well actually more like $111 after taxes but still! I’m basically rich! ELLE After working 8 hours..... Fuck that.... LOLA That’s not so bad.... LUX Don’t listen to her, Lola. I think it’s great. ELLE So does this at least mean.... What I think it means..... LOLA holds up two gift bags full of candy. LOLA .... yup. ELLE Free candy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOLA Jesus Christ, save some for Lux! LUX It’s just sugar. There’s plenty of it to go around.
LOLA suddenly notices the copy of Lolita lying on the floor by LUX. LOLA Oh my god! who’s reading Lolita?! 16.
LUX Got it for my birthday. I haven’t read it yet though. LOLA Begins to flip through Lolita. LUX chases after her, attempting to get the book back.
LOLA I love Lolita!! It’s so fucked up. You like desperately want Humbert Humbert to end up with Lolita because he cares so fucking much about her but then you have to remind yourself NOOOOOOO! He’s really just some old smelly pedofile kidnapping the innocent youth that is little Lolita. But it’s just like, goddddddd he wants her soooooo bad! Forbidden love, ugh. I just can’t. LUX rips the book from LOLA’s hands and it falls to the floor. A wad of money falls out, scattering all over the floor. Oh my god! BLACKOUT. 4 STAY
GARY is pacing around the lobby. Alone, bored, and spinning in a chair behind the doorman desk. GARY Kyle always goes to 7/11 at 2 AM so I usually hold down the fort. I’m hella good at it, see. GARY intensely watches, but nothing happens. Killing it. RANDY enters with bouquet of pink flowers.
RANDY Apartment 1107- Lux. GARY Oh, uh- sure. One moment.
GARY clearly doesn’t know what he is doing. He picks up the phone and fidgets for awhile. He eventually figures out how to call up to LUX, but she does not answer. Uh, sorry. She’s not home right now. RANDY Alright, I’ll just take these up- 17.
GARY I’m sorry, sir. But I can’t let you do that. RANDY Well I’m sure you can make an exception for a special delivery.
RANDY slips GARY a bag of candy (or, money). GARY I don’t want your money.
RANDY C’mon man, just let me go up. GARY I wish I could, but I can’t. (Clears throat.) It’s policy. RANDY Really, man? Fuck you. You fuckin’ people take your jobs way too seriously. You’re a doorman for Christ’s sake, not a NASA technician.
RANDY exits. GARY Actually, I’m a janitor.
KYLE enters. KYLE Who was that? GARY I don’t know. These were delivered. For Lux. KYLE Lux?? From who?? GARY The card says: To Darling Lux. Who’s your Daddy? KYLE Well... Okay.... Do you think it’s from her dad? Or-
GARY It’s possible, he did look older. KYLE How old? Like dad old? 18.
GARY Yeah, he was definitely old enough to be her dad. He could be like, a pervert for all I know. There’s really no telling. KYLE Did he say anything?? GARY Not really. Why do you care so much? KYLE Oh, me? No, no, I don’t care. It’s none of my business. GARY I’ve seen weirder things written on these cards before. People are dirty as fuck these days. (Beat.) So uh.... I guess I’ll go on my break now...? KYLE Yeah, yeah. cool.
GARY Exits. KYLE carefully examines the flowers. KYLE (CONT’D) Daddy. What a dirty word. Why do I always go makin’ things all gross by thinkin’ these dirty things. Knock it off, Kyle. Lux isn’t that kinda girl. She comes from a good family. She wouldn’t live here if she didn’t. Wasn’t it her birthday? I bet she has one of those dads that send flowers on her birthday, on his own birthday, on the American flag’s birthday even... Ya, that kinda dad. A really good dad. Explains why she’s such a good girl. KYLE phones LUX from the desk. KYLE Delivery for Lux. KYLE crumples up "Who’s Your Daddy?" card, tossing it into trash can. KYLE grabs his guitar, and stars playing STAY to himself.
LUX enters during this moment. She watches from behind in silence. STAY [Verse 1]
I love the look on your face These nights left me with not much to say 19.
Hope I’m not in your way Hope I’m not in your way Cuz we’ve got so much time to waste
But for you I’m raisin the stakes Yeah for you My whole body shakes Somethin about you makes me forget my name
And it’s true I don’t give my heart away You’re making me think different these days [Chorus 1]
So I’ll stay Lay my head on your chest Help me forget the rest
I will stay I promise I’ll stay I hope that you stay
Even when it gets late I will patiently wait I will stay
You know I will stay LUX interrupts. LUX I didn’t know you were a musician! KYLE Nah, I’m not like a "musician". I just make music, ya know.
LUX Isn’t that what a "musician" is? KYLE What do you mean? 20.
LUX Well if you make music, and people who make music are considered musicians... Then, you’re a musician. KYLE Oh, yeah? I don’t know if it works like that. LUX Sure it does. By the transitive property. KYLE The huh? LUX The transitive property! You know- ummm... if a equals b, and b equals c, then a must always equals c.
KYLE That’s a real thing? LUX Yup. It’s a real thing. Learned it in Calculus.
KYLE Oh shit, you know Calculus? LUX Yeah. Well, used to. My parents wanted me to study Computer Science in college. But I refused.
KYLE Why didn’t you? LUX Cuz I didn’t want to.
KYLE I want to go to college. LUX Why? College blows. KYLE My mama always dreamed about going to college. LUX Well then why didn’t she? KYLE She couldn’t afford it. 21.
LUX Why didn’t she just like, take out a student loan or something? KYLE Debts some scary shit. That’s why I’ve been saving up all my money from the night shift. Right now I’ve saved enough for 2 years about. LUX Wow, I can barely save a dime these days. So, what happened to her? KYLE She fell in love. Got married. Moved to the suburbs. The American Dream.
LUX Not mine. I bet she regrets that. KYLE No, Never! She loves my father. They take care of each other. Plus, she had me. Without him, she would have never had me. LUX But what about the life she wanted? No one dreams of being a mom.
KYLE That’s not a good way of looking at it. It’s more like she had to let go of her old dreams so she could make new ones. Ones that included my father. Ones that included me.
LUX Huh. Wow. KYLE So, it only makes sense that I include her in mine.
LUX That’s just so sweet. KYLE Yeah. Doesn’t mean anything til’ I actually do it though. LUX Well, I can help you with your applications if you want. 22.
KYLE Really?! LUX Of course! No problem! What’s it about?
KYLE No idea. LUX When’s it due?
KYLE No clue. LUX Kyle!!
KYLE Doesn’t matter if I miss it, there’s always next year. LUX Next year?! But what about this year?! KYLE What about this year?? LUX You’re just gonna waste it?! KYLE No. I’m not wasting it! I’ll just use this year to get ready for next year.
LUX You’re ready now. That’s wasting it. Where are you applying? KYLE Berklee.
LUX UC or the music school? KYLE Music.
LUX Thought you weren’t a musician. LUX pulls out her cellphone, disconnecting from the conversation completely. I love Boston. 23.
KYLE Me too.
LUX Oh, There’s still time! It’s due next week. KYLE I’ll never be ready.
LUX Oh, C’mon! The prompt says: write about anything. GARY suddenly enters in a panic. GARY AM I LATE?! KYLE Late for what? GARY Sorry man I didn’t mean to be gone so long! KYLE You were gone like, five minutes... GARY Wow. Really? It felt so much longer. LUX I better let you get to work. (To Lebron:) Anything... LUX begins to exit through elevator doors.
GARY Wait!.... Your flowers! LUX Oh, thank you. I almost forgot. LUX exits the lobby area. She sings the second half of STAY. [Verse 2]
I’d love to get out out of my mind I’ve tried, but you’re just there all the time So rewind, I get lost in those eyes
Guess a love like this these days it just ain’t easy to find 24.
So you sing to me, I fall all over again That voice makes me loose all common sense Need you next to me cuz you’re stuck in my head
Guess you’re giving me a love I just won’t forget [Chorus 2]
So I’ll stay Through all of the bad And the darkest of days
Come what may I’m not afraid So I may
Get crazy at times When I fall out of line But please stay
I hope that you stay KYLE/LUX I will stay I will stay
Do whatever it takes Count the days Make me wait Do whatever it takes
Play the game make mistakes Do whatever it takes I should say 25.
Should I say No I’ll wait Maybe I’ll wait
Love you more everyday Do whatever it takes I will stay
I will stay You know I will Stay
[Chorus 3] I’ll play Back your love in my mind
For the rest of my life And that’s why I swear you should stay
I’m not goin anywhere I’ll stay if you stay Not anytime soon
So I’ll stay if you stay So I’ll stay if you stay I’ll stay
Even if it’s a waste You seem worth the chase So I’ll stay
BLACKOUT. 26.
5 I LOVE TO FUCK LIGHTS UP. ELLE and LOLA are passed out on the floor, disgustingly hungover. LUX enters. Checks her watch, realizing Lola is late for work, and begins to aggressively shake her. LUX Lola! Why aren’t you at work?!
LOLA rolls over, clearly hungover. LOLA What? Work? Oh, OH FUCK. WORK. WHAT TIME IS IT?
LUX 2 P.M. LOLA FUCK, NO, FUCK. THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING.
ELLE moans and rolls over. LUX What time did your shift start?
LOLA 9 A.M. LUX Oh, shit.
LOLA They’re totally gonna fire me. What should I do?! LUX Uh- I don’t know maybe you could call them and blame it on your blood sugar or-
ELLE Can you bitches shut up?! Some of us are trying to sleep here!! LOLA You shut up!!!! LUX Okay Lo, I think you need to just take a deep breathe, it’s all going to work out-
VOICEMAIL PLAYS. 27.
BOSS VOICEOVER Hey, Lola, You were suppose to be in 15 minutes ago. Please advise. (Beep). Lola, where are you? Call me back. (Beep). Lola, this is incredibly unprofessional. An hour and a half late? (Beep). Alright Lola, I’ve waited two hours for a call back from you and your failure to comply leaves me no choice but to terminate you. I really thought you were more responsible than this. (Beep). LOLA Well that’s just great. GREAT!!! God, why did you make me such an idiot? WHY!! LUX Okay, okay, Lola, sit down. We’re gonna figure it out.
LOLA I need carbs, sugar, anything, now! (Lola tries to find some leftover candy.) ELLE, WHAT THE FUCK!! ELLE Dude, what is your problem?
LOLA you ate ALL the candy?!? LUX Here, I think I have an apple in my purse!
ELLE Why are you screaming so early? LUX Lola missed her first day of work. ELLE Fuck that place. ELLE rolls back over.
LOLA Are you out of your mind?! I needed that job! I worked my ass off for that job! ELLE So? Find another. LOLA Really, Elle?? I’m not like you. I can’t just snap my fingers, and poof. Not care about anything!!! 28.
ELLE Excuse me?! LUX OK I know this is very stressful for you but you have to calm down until we get your blood sugar under control. LUX hands her an apple, and LOLA immediately throws it.
LOLA Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down? How am I gonna pay for food?! Or anything?! Don’t even get me started on how much insulin costs! ELLE (irritated) Don’t worry about it, Lo. LOLA It’s the sixth most expensive liquid in the world right now!! It’s more expensive than mercury!! MOTHER FUCKING MERCURY!! Those pharma-communist-pieces-of-shit!! LUX (Answers phone suddenly) Dad, Hey. (Gestures to friends) Sorry guys, I gotta take this.
LUX exits. LOLA You don’t get it, I can’t use $100 bills as bookmarks.
ELLE What the fuck’s that suppose to mean? LOLA Lux had $1,000 stashed in that copy of Lolita.
ELLE Damn! He gave her a grand this time?! LOLA Ya! It’s not fair, why can’t I have a dad like that!
ELLE Alright, look. I have to tell you something. Lux and I promised to never say anything, but- 29.
LOLA Tell me. ELLE So there’s this site where you sign up, add a picture, and it’s totally safe.
LOLA I already have a LinkedIn Profile. ELLE No, not that. Have you ever heard of the website Seeking Arrangements? LOLA Isn’t that the website where married couples have affairs with each other?
ELLE No, you get paid A LOT of money to go on dates with rich men. LOLA Ew. I’m not doing that. ELLE What?! it’s fucking awesome!! Lux does it too. LOLA I thought that you guys got this money from your parents. I thought you both had rich dads. ELLE No, we just have rich Daddies.
LOLA So what? You’re fucking prostitutes then??? ELLE For the record, we’re not prostitutes. Prostitutes have pimps. We don’t have pimps.
LOLA Escorts, whatever. You know what I mean. ELLE We’re not escorts, either. I happen to love my sugar daddy very much. LOLA You LOVE him? 30.
ELLE Of course! How could I not?! He flies me to exotic beaches and fucks me til’ I cry just a little. It’s amazing. We like, totally care for each other. But, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t love him if it weren’t for the money. LOLA You don’t mind that he’s like.... saggy..... and old....?
ELLE They’re not all saggy and old. You just have to look for the right ones. LOLA The right ones?
ELLE Yeah. My guy’s 29 and hard as a rock. If you know what I mean. But it’s not always like that. You do have to sift through a lot of freaky old grandpas to find the good ones. The ones that let you use their Seamless accounts and give you their Amazon password. LOLA And you... sleep with them? ELLE Only if I want to. LOLA Oh... so they don’t force you to sleep with them?
ELLE Not unless you’re into that. But for the record, you never have to sleep with anyone you don’t want to. LOLA Oh, I don’t?
ELLE That’s why you should always meet in a public place first. Like Starbucks. Safety first! LOLA Do you get paid on a Starbucks date? RAE If you ask in advance. Always ask in advance. 31.
LOLA And then you have to sleep with them? ELLE Not always. Some are just lonely and want to go out for drinks.
LOLA Oh... so then they’re just looking for companionship... ELLE Some. Others just wanna get hella drunk and fuck. Well, the married ones anyway. LOLA STOP.
ELLE Get over it. Marriage is dead. LOLA You don’t feel... bad about it?
ELLE Not at all. I feel empowered! Imagine being able to take an Uber whenever you want? LOLA Whenever? like, whenever, whenever?
ELLE Whenever. LOLA Wow, that is some high-class shit.
ELLE Yeah, it’s so much better than working. LOLA it’s still work though, just a different kind... ELLE I mean, I guess. But it’s so fucking easy, who cares? LOLA I kinda wanna do it. No I don’t know, I really couldn’t see myself doing that... Well, wait, maybe- ELLE Make a profile, live a little. 32.
LOLA Ya know what? You’re right! I already did the good thing and I got fucked for it... So, I might as well get paid to get fucked!! Help me?
ELLE Duh! LIGHTS CHANGE. ELLE (CONT’D) (Sings): I fucking love money And I love to fuck
So why not do both things at once I fucking love money And I love to fuck
So why not do both things at once ELLE (CONT’D) First you have to make a fake G-mail. LOLA I already have a gmail it’s Lolalovescats123@gmail- ELLE You can’t use your real gmail. You don’t want them to know who you really are until you can trust them. Unless you want a stalker. But trust me, you don’t.
ELLE (CONT’D) He loves my body
And I love his money So he gives me his money I take off my clothes
ELLE (CONT’D) They want a taste Of my special skills
So pay me up front 33.
If you want a good thrill BOTH I fucking love money
And I love to fuck So why not do both things at once I fucking love money
And I love to fuck So why not do both things at once LOLA OK- Name. That’s easy, Lola. ELLE No! LOLA Then what’s my name gonna be? I know, how bout. Katie? ELLE Ew. Too Good. I got it. Krystal. with a K. Last name Meth.
LOLA No! How bout... Lolita? ELLE (gasp) Perfect.
LUX and RANDY enter and get sexual, stage right. (Sings): Sucker for brown hair
That suck for a cause Call me an angel I’m hiding my claws
LOLA (Sings): Harmless and young 34.
But inside I’m a fire Show me the money I can fill your desires
TOGETHER I fucking love money And I love to fuck
So why not do both things at once I fucking love money And I love to fuck
So why not do both things at once LIGHTS FOR LUX. LUX
(Sings): Give me an hour I don’t want to go
Only five minutes I’m startin to choke Keep me a secret
Cuz no one should know Pass me a lighter Man, I need a smoke
LIGHTS SWITCH BACK TO ELLE AND LOLA. ELLE Okay, what should your tag line be?
LOLA I know. "Just a little girl who needs a lotta help". ELLE That’s horrible! They’ll never swipe right. 35.
LOLA This isn’t Tinder. ELLE It might as well be.
LOLA So what should it be then? ELLE How bout.... Sugar, smoke, and everything dope.
LOLA Yeahhhhhh. ELLE Now. Last but not least: What are we looking for?
BOTH Sugar. (Sings):
I fucking love money And I love to fuck So why not do both things at once
I fucking love money And I love to fuck So why not do both things at once
Lights slowly rise on LUX. BLACKOUT. 6 STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE
LIGHTS UP. RANDY and LUX are sitting on Ottoman. Randy is counting his money. Lux is drinking a milkshake. RAND So, what’s with you and strawberry milkshakes? LUX I love ice cream. 36.
RANDY But Strawberry?? LUX Strawberry was always my dad’s favorite. He loved this shit. I remember he used to bring the whole carton to bed with him. Whenever I couldn’t sleep, I knew I could whisper down the hallway, "dad", "daddy", and he’d come lay in my bed until the carton was finished. RANDY He sounds like a really good dad. LUX Yeah. He is a really good dad. RANDY That’s probably why you’re such a good girl. LUX I don’t feel that good. RANDY Too much sugar. RANDY hands LUX money. LUX You sound like my dad.
RANDY exits. LUX I always get a milkshake after doin’ somethin bad. Massive amounts of whipped cream like I deserve some type of reward. Sprinkled with lust and stardust. Sprinkled with rust and disgust. A bright, red cherry on top to make it all seem perfect. But all this sugar? It’s rotting me from the inside out.
LUX (Sings): Fuck I hate money (x3)
BLACKOUT. 37.
7 IZ LUV LIGHTS UP. GARY is pacing around the Lobby. Alone, bored, and spinning in a chair behind the doorman desk. ELLE enters through the elevator doors and comes to the desk. ELLE I’m locked out.
GARY Oh, no. What happened? ELLE What? Can you just unlock it please.
GARY Absolutely! GARY doesn’t move at all.
ELLE Okay... when? GARY As soon as the doorman gets back.
GARY still doesn’t move. ELLE Aren’t you the doorman?
GARY No. I’m Gary. ELLE Do you even work here?
GARY Uh... yes. ELLE I’ve never seen you around before.
GARY Really? That’s crazyy, I’m here 6 days a week. ELLE No you’re not. I live here. I’m pretty sure I’d know. 38.
GARY I’m the janitor. ELLE Do you know who I am?
GARY Yes, of course. ELLE Yeah, right. What’s my name?
GARY Elle. 1107. ELLE (Bitchy smile.) I’ll be waiting upstairs, I guess. GARY Copy that! ELLE begins to walk away.
ELLE (Under her breath:) Weirdo. ELLE exits through elevator doors. GARY begins to shuffle around the desk, looking for the master key. GARY If I were the master key, where would I be? Hmmmm... Ohhhh what do we have here?
GARY has found KYLE’s college essay. He reads out loud: "The first time I noticed her, she was drinking a strawberry milkshake. It was immediate- that first glance was all foreshadow. Right then I knew that I kinda, sorta, almost, may have just, obviously fallen in love. And I was right. It was definitely love. The first time I realized this, she was talking to me through the smoke of her cigarette, suffocating me with smoke rings. I don’t know why, because I don’t think there’s anything I hate more in this world than smoking, but I didn’t move away. She could smoke like a chimney for all I care, and it wouldn’t change my mind about her. Even though my own mamma smoked her voice away. Even though she used to talk so much, I’d repeat in my head, "please stop talking, please stop talking". (MORE) 39.
GARY (CONT’D) Even though now that’s all I want, for her to talk to me again, because I realized I’ll never know what my mamma’s thinking about if she can’t at least tell me. all this and still, I let the girl with the strawberry milkshake blow smoke in my eyes. Like I’d prefer her to or something. Look, If I’m being honest with you, and I am an honest man, I haven’t been talking much lately. There’s not really anyone to talk to when you’re a doorman for the night shift. But she’s always talking to me. And I really love her for that, for just talking to me. Sometimes I’m not even listening to a word she’s saying, I’m just memorizing her voice. That voice makes me want to get to work, try harder, prove her right. She makes me wanna call her family. Or home. And call me crazy, but she has me dreaming about unborn children, whispering to the stars in the sky, "Baby, everything I do, I do for you". "
KYLE enters through lobby doors. KYLE Hey, I’m back!
GARY quickly hides application behind his back. KYLE (CONT’D) Whatcha readin’? GARY Nothin’! LEBRON goes behind GARY’s back, stealing the piece of paper from his hands. KYLE You were reading my application!? It’s not ready! GARY It’s really good, Kyle! KYLE No, it’s horrible! I sound stoned... GARY Colleges love stoners! KYLE But, it has to be perfect- LUX enters drinking a milkshake. 40.
LUX Hi, Kyle! KYLE Lux! Hey!
GARY (Yells:) Yo, Kyle! We have ourselves a code red!! GARY exits through elevator doors.
LUX What’s a code red? KYLE I dunno. Gary’s a little.... Gary.
LUX What a guy. KYLE I think there’s a lockout or somethin’... So, how are you? LUX Fine. Sorta. KYLE What’s wrong? LUX It’s nothing. (Beat.) I just miss my dad. KYLE I hear ya. I’ve been missin’ my mom a lot lately. LUX Dontcha live at home with her?
KYLE Technically yeah... well, sorta. LUX I’m over this place. I don’t know why I ever wanted to live here.
KYLE Why, what happened? LUX I just really wanna go home... New York kinda sucks. 41.
KYLE Hey! What did New York ever do to you? LUX Nothin’... it’s just something about this city...
KYLE New York can be downright cold sometimes. If there’s a God, he sure as hell doesn’t live here. LUX You believe in God? KYLE No. Do you? LUX God no. but I believed in Manhattan. I used to have all these dreams about my future here. KYLE Like what?
LUX I don’t really remember. (beat.) I wanted to sing, I guess. KYLE You sing?! Why didn’t you say so! We should collaborate sometime- LUX I used to- I don’t anymore. KYLE Oh, but what about that theory thing you were telling me? What was it...? LUX The Transitive property?
KYLE Yeah! LUX What about it.
KYLE Once a singer, always a singer... or something like that. 42.
LUX Haha, close enough. KYLE So, why’d ya stop singin’?
LUX It’s like... I just forgot how to do it or something. Sometimes I’ll hear a song in my head, and I’ll run to the piano, but I always forget it right as I begin to play. Even though I could hear it perfectly just a second ago. KYLE Whoa. That really sucks of your brain. LUX I know. I don’t remember the last time I wrote something I liked. KYLE Whenever I’m stuck on some writin’ things, I pretend to live in someone else’s brain.
LUX Does it work? KYLE Sometimes. But sometimes I just have to write from the heart. LUX I think I’ll give that a try next time... ya know, just to get out of my own head for a minute.
KYLE I hope it works out. It usually helps whenever I start gettin’ suspicious of my own thoughts. LUX Suspicious??? KYLE Yeah, sometimes I get all paranoid that my brain’s makin’ things up. That’s why I always find myself wonderin’ if other people’s thoughts are crazy like mine. LUX (laughs): Probably not! 43.
KYLE What are you laughin’ at?! I’m serious! I have a crazy brain! Half the time, I feel a little stoned- and I don’t even smoke dope or nothin’...
LUX Oh, you don’t smoke weed? KYLE Jeez. Who knows what would happen up here if I did... It’d be, well. It’d be just plain crazy.
LUX oh... is it crazy? KYLE Yeah! CRAZY!
LUX haha, crazy. I like that feeling. When I’m too high to hold onto my owns thoughts. When all I can do is let them smack me in between the eyes and go "shit that’s a good thought lemme think on it more", or "shit that is not a good thought" and try not to think it. KYLE (Lebron smiles at her in sheer admiration.) Can I ask you somethin’?
LUX Sure. KYLE What are you not thinking about right now?
LUX You first! KYLE No way!
LUX Why not?! You can trust me! KYLE Sorry, but you’ll never know anything about these brain constellations. LUX Brain constellations?!?! 44.
KYLE Ya, brain constellations. All my thoughts, like stars in the sky... ya know?
LUX Haha wow, you do have a crazy brain, huh? KYLE The craziest.
LUX Me too. (Beat.) I guess I better get to sleep... KYLE Yeah, wow. It’s getting late. Way past your bed time.
LUX Goodnight, Kyle. LEBRON Goodnight, Lux.
KYLE begins to return to his desk. LUX Hey, Kyle?
KYLE turns back around, looking at her. Finish that essay already. KYLE Yeah, yeah. I’m workin’ on it.
LUX exits towards the elevator. KYLE goes back to his desk. They both sing WELCOME HOME DARLING(Reprise) in seperate lights. LUX
Oh I’ve been sleeping alone Oh got nowhere to call home Oh I’ve been sleeping alone
Can I call you my home? It’s the best place I know And I think I like you
Just like the stars hold the moon And I’ll hold right onto you 45.
Just tell me when to let go Just tell me when to let go Cuz if you don’t then I won’t
I really hope that you don’t So just tell me when to let go And if you don’t then I won’t
BLACKOUT. 8 BAD LIGHTS UP.
LOLA and LUX are huddled around the floor. Lots of candy to be eaten. On their phones. LOLA Oh my god! Look at this loser!!
ELLE NO fucking way, Killerturtle123?!? Dude, that guy literally messaged me the same thing yesterday!! ELLE/LOLA "In my past life, I was a turtle herder... I’ve since moved on" ELLE Did you respond?
LOLA Yup, I said: "plz forward all pics of turtles ASAP" ELLE No!! You have to say something flirty!! He’s never gonna respond to that.
LOLA Oh, yeah? Then why am I meeting him at The Rivington in an hour? ELLE (Looking surprised:) No shit! Oh my little baby, all grown up!! LOLA Don’t call me that! 46.
ELLE But you are! You’re my sweet little babbbbyyyyy. What are you gonna wear?
LOLA I dunno. Probably just this. ELLE Are you psychotic, you can’t wear that.
LOLA Why not? ELLE runs offstage and begins throwing clothes at LOLA that she would never actually wear.
ELLE Here! Try this on! LOLA What even is this??
ELLE A top! LOLA This won’t even cover one of my boobs!
ELLE That’s the point! LOLA sings BAD throughout the makeover.
Bm Baby I’m bad Bad to the bone
E7 You never thought that F#7sus
I’d make it this far on my own (harmony yo) Bm
Two sides of me Which one do you see 47.
E7 Doesn’t matter to me F#7sus
This woman’s gone bad Bm Bad to the bone
(walk bass) D It’s just too bad
E I don’t feel so bad F#7sus
But ill get over that cuz im not comin back Bm Sugar and Smoke
Everything dope E7 Ain’t it a shame
F#7sus I’m not ashamed Bm
Call me a fool Cuz I broke my own rule E7
Get down on your knees baby beg for the things that you F#7sus need 48.
Bm I know you want me D
It’s just too bad E I don’t feel so bad
F#sus4 I’ll get over that F#7(add4) I’ll get over thatI’ll get over thatI’ll get over that
Elle F#7(add4) Follow me
Bm Let’s be bad LUX enters.
LUX Whoa, Lola. What a makeover. LOLA Courtesy of Elle.
LUX What’s the occasion? ELLE Lola’s gonna find herself a daddy.
LUX You told her?! ELLE (Enters from offstage:) Oops. LUX Why’d you tell her?! 49.
ELLE She needed help dude. I was being a good friend. LUX A good friend? You are unbelievable!
ELLE I just made her a profile. I didn’t like, pimp her out or anything. LOLA Lux, I think this could be like, really good for me. LUX Don’t do it, Lola. ELLE Lola’s a big girl. She can make her own decisions. ELLE hands LOLA a new outfit to try on. Here, try this one. LOLA changes her clothes.
LUX Please, don’t do it. LOLA I’m just gonna try it and see how it goes. I really need the money. INSULIN, LUX! ELLE TELL HER ABOUT THE MERCURY!! LUX Lola, I beg of you. Please. Don’t. LOLA Why not? You guys are both doing it!
LOLA makes a face at outfit suggesting she hates the outfit ELLE picked out for her. LUX So???? If I did heroin or some shit, would you also do that???
ELLE (Massive eye roll) WHATEVER DAD. (To Lola:) okay, okay... this could work, but lemme just see how this looks... 50.
LUX Lola, you don’t have to do this just because Elle & I are. LOLA Are you calling me a follower? LUX What? No. LOLA I’m not copying you guys, or trying to fit in or whatever. I was fired, remember? LUX So? You’ll find another job.
LOLA I don’t want another job. I want money. LUX Ya, well join the club.
ELLE She is. LUX Look, I know money seems like everything right now. But trust me, it’s not. In the beginning it all seems glamorous, but after awhile, it really sucks. ELLE Just like everything else. LUX You’ll start spending more money than you have because you’ll think, Oh, I can always just go out and make more. But what about when you don’t wanna go anymore? LOLA This isn’t permanent or anything. LUX Just FYI, It’s not temporary either. This becomes apart of who you are.
LOLA No one’s gonna know but you guys. LUX OH because we’re all soooo great at keeping secrets! 51.
ELLE What do you think she’s gonna do, go tell the whole fuckin world? LUX Really, Elle, really? Just shut the fuck up! ELLE Meow, someone’s coming down from a sugar rush... LOLA Will you both chill the fuck out? LUX Just promise you’re not gonna do it. Please? For me? ELLE God, I can’t. You’re literally being such a hypocrite. LUX What did you just call me?! ELLE You heard me! LUX I am not a hypocrite. ELLE Then why do you care so much if Lola does it? LUX Because I don’t want you ruining Lola’s life the same way you ruined mine!
LOLA Both of you, knock it off! I’m going! LOLA begins to exit.
ELLE ....Oh, so that’s what you think, huh? That all this is my fault? LUX Well, yeah, sorta. If you had never told me about it-
ELLE I didn’t make you do it! LUX I know you didn’t but you’re the one who showed me- 52.
LOLA Bye!! LOLA has basically exited. LUX Wait! LOLA What?!?!
LUX Share your location with us. So we can at least make sure you’re safe. LOLA scoffs and exits.
ELLE She’s a natural. LUX Go to hell.
ELLE I didn’t make you do it. LUX exits. BLACKOUT.
9 SAVE MYSELF LIGHTS UP. LUX is sitting on the ottomans with RANDY, center stage. She is drinking a strawberry milkshake. He is furiously typing on his phone. LUX I really don’t think this is necessary.
RANDY Are you delusional? Look at this place! LUX It looks like a perfectly good hotel room to me.
RANDY No, it’s completely unacceptable. I reserved the penthouse and they put me in this shit. Does this look like the penthouse to you? 53.
LUX No, but you don’t have to Yelp about it. It’s fine. RANDY It’s not fine! I reserved the penthouse, just like I do every Thursday!
LUX We don’t need it every Thursday. You know I don’t care, right?
RANDY Well, I do. I hope they fire that stupid bitch at the front desk. LUX C’mon, it’s not her fault.
RANDY I’m so sick of all these idiots not knowing how to do their jobs. Like the barista’s at Starbucks! They just take their sweet fucking time like we all don’t have somewhere to be. My Uber on the way here didn’t even have a frickn Aux Chord! I was absolutely astounded! Third time this week! Christ, Is decent customer service really too much to ask for these days? Even your doorman was completely incompetant. Never learned how to use a phone I guess.
LUX Wait, you came to my apartment? RANDY Yeah. I was bringing you flowers.
LUX I told you to never come to my apartment. RANDY I didn’t think you were serious about it-
LUX I’m serious. Don’t ever come to my apartment again. RANDY She barks... but does she bite?
RANDY advances towards LUX. LUX pushes him off of her. LUX DON’T. 54.
RANDY Okay, Jesus. Just messing around. LUX I need to tell you something.
RANDY Okay... (Beat.) Well, what is it? LUX I think I’m in love.
RANDY I’m flattered, Lux. Really, I am. But you know this isn’t what we’re doing here. LUX Oh, God no. Not with you, sorry. With someone else. RANDY Who? LUX None of your business. RANDY You don’t want to be in love. Trust me. LUX I think I do. RANDY Love is a concept invented by poor people. LUX Excuse me? RANDY They need it to survive. They split their bills, share their lives. Make it all pretty and moral by calling it "love". Rich people- they don’t need love. Just buy it by the hour and write it off in the company’s budget under entertainment. LUX Wow, really? All you care about is money and look where it’s gotten you. Nowhere. You have nothing. No one... I bet you don’t even realize how much you gave up, huh? RANDY Mmm, you’re so sexy when you’re mean, baby. 55.
LUX We gotta end this.
RANDY But why Darling? The fun’s just getting started. LUX I can’t keep this up anymore.
RANDY Keep what up? LUX This. Us. The arrangement.
RANDY Your new lover doesn’t have to know. It can be our little secret, like always. Come on, Darling. LUX I’m sorry. But I can’t.
RANDY Fine. That’s fine. I won’t beg. LUX begins to exit. RANDY grabs her arm. Darling. How do you plan on supporting yourself?
LUX Well, I’m young. I still have time. RANDY Right. But, you don’t have much of a plan... Or any qualifying experience... LUX I’ll figure it out.
RANDY Sure you will. (Beat.) Just some advice about the real world... You can’t put "Blowjob Queen" on your resume. LUX Do you think that I don’t know what I’m doing with this game of life shit??? Cuz you’re right! I don’t! I don’t know what I’m doing!! I haven’t got a single clue in the goddamn world! But that’s what I’m supposed to be doing right now! This whole twenty something thing. I’m supposed to not know what I’m supposed to be doing. And that’s exactly what I’m doing!!!!!
LUX exits RANDY’s apartment. LOLA enters while LUX is exiting. LOLA stands alone on stage, waiting for an Uber. 56.
IPHONE PHONE RINGS. LOLA Hello? Hi, yes, I see you. (Waves hand.) Do you see me? Ugh, okay, whatever. I’ll just come to you. One second. (Hangs up.) Fucking Uber.
BLACKOUT. 10 LUX SAYS GOODBYE LIGHTS UP.
LUX is sitting in front of a suitcase. She begins frantically packing, and calls her dad: LUX Dad, I wanna come home. LOLA & ELLE enters, COVERED IN CANDY. Hundred dollar bills that she fans out, takes a hilariously disruptive "snapchat". LUX continues packing.
ELLE Lets go to the Golapalgos! LOLA Or like, the U.S. Virgin Islands.
ELLE No, somewhere more chic than that... LOLA I don’t even care. Anywhere, doesn’t matter!! I just feel so free... I’m finally free. LUX still continues packing. LOLA (CONT’D) Yes Lux, always one step ahead! Where are we going?
LUX Home. ELLE That’s not fun! I wanna go somewhere fun, Lola!
LOLA Let’s go on a cruise! I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise. 57.
LUX Safe travels, guys. LOLA Lux, c’mon! You’ve gotta come with us!! When have I ever been able to afford a trip somewhere?!
ELLE Let her go, we’ll have more fun without her. LUX exits with suitcase.
LOLA Lux, wait!! LOLA runs off after LUX. ELLE is left alone onstage.
ELLE Why does everyone always leave me? LOLA re-enters after ELLE’s song, visibly upset. She gives ELLE a hug.
LOLA I don’t think she’s coming back. ELLE Don’t do it, Lola.
BLACKOUT. 11 BITTERSWEET MELODIES LIGHTS UP.
GARY sits at KYLE’s desk, alone. GARY I wrote a poem.
Takes it out of his pocket. Deep Breathe. I don’t usually read these out loud. Clears throat. Long Pauses. OK, OK... Here goes nothin’. To the girl at the 42nd street station,
You fucked up. The R train and the Q train go to the same place. It may be true that the Q train runs express, but the R train would have given us just enough time to cover childhood secrets before I ask for your name. But you didn’t say anything to me. You just (MORE) 58.
GARY (CONT’D) looked. It’s too bad because I would have given you the world, and then some. But you’ll never see me without the train window between us because I’ll probably never see you again. Oh stranger, you should have taken the R train. I wanted so badly to know you. KYLE I got you a slurpee. GARY Thanks, man. KYLE and GARY trade seats at the desk. KYLE ...Where’s my essay?
GARY Huh? KYLE My application! It was right here!!
GARY The one about Lux? I sent that in like, forever ago... KYLE You sent it?!
GARY Yeah dude, the essay was really great. I’ll be surprised if they don’t accept you.
KYLE You Idiot. It wasn’t ready yet!! GARY You totally got the hots for her, dontcha.
KYLE I mean, I was being pretty obvious about it! GARY exits. LUX enters with suitcase, passing by Gary.
LUX Hi, Kyle. KYLE Lux! Ohhhhhh, world traveler, huh? 59.
LUX Hardly. KYLE Where ya goin’?
LUX Home. KYLE Sound nice. Sometimes you just need a little time off to clear your head, Ya know. Make room for new thoughts. LUX The things I’m not thinking about, I should probably start thinking about them.
KYLE Atta girl. So, how long are you gonna be gone? LUX I don’t know.
KYLE a couple days? a week? LUX Something like that.
KYLE Oh, OK, well. Do you think you’ll ever come back? LUX We’ll see. I haven’t decided yet. All I know is I don’t know what’s going on up here these days. KYLE You want me to let you in on a little secret?
LUX What’s that? KYLE No one does.
LUX (Nods). Goodbye, Kyle. LUX sings BITTERSWEET MELODIES. 60.
LUX (CONT’D) They say when it’s over the heart will just know One of those aches that you feel in your bones
Her mind became mean, Her feet turned cold She said goodbye, don’t know why she let go The love of my life till she ran away
Now I stay up all night Sleep walk through these long days Why didn’t you stay?
Sweeter to me than a fantasy Sweeter to me than anything I could ever need Sweeter to me than reality, I dreamt you up good
Bittersweet Melodies, I’ll hear you in my dreams Forgive me I tried to be all that I’m not I’m just not the girl that ya think
He was the only one left for me, I left him alone Guess I love him so much, but he’ll never know I’m sorry for lying, I lied quite a lot
Don’t know who I am, this girls kinda lost Wanted you bad but I took a wrong turn Broke my own heart, what a lesson to learn
Sweeter to me than a fantasy Sweeter to me than anything I could ever need Sweeter to me than reality, I dreamt you up good
Bittersweet Melodies, I’ll hear you in my dreams (Are you telling me to let go?) Let go, Let go (Please don’t tell me to let go) Please just let me go 61.
(Can’t you just say that you won’t) Let go, Let go (I really hope that you don’t) I don’t wanna let go Guess I love you so much that I have to let go
LUX exits. GARY enters with an oversized envelope that has KYLE’s College acceptance letter in it.
GARY Kyle! KYLE Is that for me?! Oh, shit.
GARY NOW!!! Open it!!!! KYLE rips open the huge envelope. KYLE Oh, Shit. BLACKOUT. BOW MUSIC PLAYS.
Fin.