The Cord Weekly

ils that Rosehart flipping What is the Matrix? Seriously.!

jthe bird? Page 6 I've never heard of it. Page 14

21 2003 Volume 44 Issue 1 Wednesday May www.clublaurier.ca

SBE initiates deregulation

Letter of intent forwarded to the

Ontario government to commence action in favour of deregulation

make the bet- JENNIFER ASSELIN & university a

COLIN DUFFETT ter place." Carson believes

NEWS EDITORS there are two reasons for deregulation. First is to

ensure that the quality of Following in the footsteps

of such universities as the SBE does not slide and

Western, Queen's and second is to allow for new

Toronto, last week Wilfrid initiatives to be afforded. Carson's for Laurier University submit- reasoning

is that he no ted a letter of intent to the deregulation feels that the of Ontario longer pro- government Jennifer Asselin continue to be to gram can a asking permission weekend in Waterloo Park. Ambitious miniature soccer players practice dilligently over the long rated if it deregulate the School of top program

Business and Economics, stays regulated. As Carson

stated in a with The letter of intent sig- meeting will when the needs was on hold in order to important, as they university put nifies that the is the WLUSU Board of send the issue the university need to have every thing- deregulation implemented. through notion Directors, "I am personally Board considering the of ready for the University It is because of the univer- Senate and the of of the view that we are run- that Durrer Governors. Fair, which takes place on sity's haste

ning out of resources at September 25th through feels that "they are rush- Ultimately, the upcom- the school and the 27th. ing this." ing election will have a lot it looks to me of whether University: Carson would ideally Durrer was also a mem- bearing on or at this stage that there isn't The like to be able to market the ber of a 5-person commit- not the letter passes. going to be much option at Liberals will freeze tuition deregulated program to tee looking deregula- but to Carson NDP want to deregulate." prospective students look- tion. They were to make a and the also said that if the recommendation to Dean reduce tuition 10% if pro- ing at Laurier as one of by remains regulated, not elected. gram their possible choices this Carson on whether or the quality of the Business idea. This fall. During his interview, it was a good Laurier would program at he remarked that he does committee, however, ended decline. slowly not want to have incoming when the SEE Faculty The earliest possible Council voted in favour of

date that the university deregulation. Durrer com-

can implement deregula- DEREGULATION mented, "I think this is a Dean Carson: pushing for SBE tion of the Business pro- EXPLAINED: huge conflict of interest. deregulation by September is 2004. This would if there gram The good, the bad and the One, we deregulate

mean that the students their ugly is more money for and that entering their first in deregulation they year See page 3 higher salaries. Two, if we towards 2004 would are taking steps September deregulate their status as a have to the deregulat- the idea. pay students who have already prof increases as now they would ed fees for their second work at Deregulation been accepted into the pro- a deregulated enable the to in 2005. In 2005, sec- school." university year gram forced to come up ond students will be believes to charge any amount they year with the required funds to In his meeting with the Ben Durrer: move

wished for tuition, the idea paying twice as much or rates Board of Carson is in haste pay the deregulated Directors, deregulate than those in being that market rates more third for tuition. believed strongly that stu- fourth for the would set the tuition. and year Ben Durrer, former dent consultation would Provincial Liberal Party

The same education. leader Dalton increased revenue Chair of the WLUSU Board play a huge role in deter- McGuinty of Science, Dr. would be used to subsidize The Dean of Directors, said that it is mining the feasibility of promised that his party, Arthur Szabo also in both the lack of government can likely that with the deregulation. "I want stu- "will freeze tuition and funding with 65% going to legally deregulate some impending provincial elec- dent involvement," stated regulated unregulated namely elected. the SBE and 35% to the programs, tion that the plans for Carson. programs," if However, in another has sent letter university. Of the 65% Computing. deregulation will be However, WLUSU a when asked if he was con- Elizabeth MPP going to the SBE, 30% delayed. This is because meeting on April 7, the to Witmer, would to bursaries and sidering deregulation he SBE Council for Kitchener-Waterloo and go such an election takes up a Faculty not at all." Minister of for 8% to capital levy. replied, "No, large amount of time and passed a resolution to Education have In order for deregulation the of their Students not been members of Provincial approve principle Ontario indicating

to occur for the 2004 - two demands: To make overly thrilled with the Parliament will be out of deregulation. There are 15 1)

2005 school the submit a idea of deregulated tuition year, many students that are supposed university have to as was made evident in a things happen to be on this council but comprehensive deregula- first. The most and To close recent survey issued by the pressing none were present at the tion plan 2) that Students' Union. Out of need is the government's meeting when the motion out the loophole

of Laurier's forth and allows universities the 870 people polled, 95% said approval was put passed. request. The they did not support dereg- deregulation In December, the SBE opportunity to deregulate would like to see committee ulation. school on deregulation undergraduate programs. letter of intent fast- with the Witmer to the "I don't want it either," their was created responded

said Dr. Scott Carson, Dean tracked through govern- Associate Dean of Business letter by explaining that

ment so can address John she forwarded a to the of the SBE in an interview they and Economics copy

of Minister of with The Cord. "I don't the topic deregulation McCutheon as the chair. Training, have within the university's & Universities, any desire to deregu- This committee was meant Colleges the which Dianne for late." administrative bodies, to produce a report, Cunningham, and into The remaining 5% of the Board of Governors would then be presented to her to review and take the Senate. Dean Carson. the consideration. students polled who sup- MPP Elizabeth Witmer: However, As for it's a ported also After government committee never made its right now, deregulation Responded to WLUSU's letter most indicated that the second to Carson. In order as the gov- they came approval, report waiting game

from a with issue for the SBE office for to make the letter of ernment determines family a high- pressing approximately sure all the not Laurier income level. is determining two months. Therefore, intent would be sent to the whether or can involved in won't it Ontario the continue with its plans to According to Carson, minute details they likely get to government, of the Raising tuition will not the deregulation by September which is report and the committee deregulate. This is business program. News 2 Wednesday May 21 2003

B-O-Divided

As Laurier's Board of the new Directors begin year, internal conflicts have arisen

how should have JENNIFER ASSELIN we open sands of students make up Editor discourse News and the irony is the population. I felt like we that we weren't discussing' should have taken more

The term of this year's the motion," said Board time and let last year's

Students' Union Board of member Bryn Boyce. Board come forward."

Directors has only just "They could have reject- When asked why the ed the motion begun but a division but at least motion was initially dis- between members is evi- discuss it," emphasized missed Shonk said, "It was

dent. On April 13, the first Mike Borrelli, another an accident."

to member of this Board. "After I qualm was brought light years the meeting" did fur-

the Mention was also made ther research and among Board as a found out that motion that was wrongfully 700 people including that all that was needed was

dismissed at an earlier Graduate students who a majority vote so we meeting was brought to the don't pay into the Union brought up the motion at

table again. had previously signed a the next meeting," he con-

During the Board meet- petition and more than 200 tinued.

students when the Christine ing on March 31, a motion Undergraduate However, Cherry

the who do in fact Union motion at was brought forth on pay was brought up from Michael Colin Shonk (Clockwise top left) Borrelli, Dan Herman, fees another the in mem- Board's stance on the War signed peti- meeting April, and those in the conflict. Bryn Boyce are amongst involved tion bers of on Iraq and on the peace which, among other the Board had recorded. Six members left to deal with other mat- stated the their minds from camp that was present on things, "We, changed voted in support of the ters. campus earlier this year. A undersigned students of the earlier vote. Shonk motion being' within the Four members including motion was made to deter- Wilfrid Laurier University, began by ruling that the of the and Borrelli as well Wilfrid motion fell outside of the scope organization Boyce mine if this proposal was hereby petition and voted in as Piscitelli and Laurier Student of the eight support Anthony within the scope of the pur- University scope By-laws and of the motion outside Rishi Kumar were so dis- Union to take discussion ensued on the lying- pose and objectives of the (WLUSU) a and over the occur- the of the scope one absten- traught organization. The vote strong position against interpretation the By- tion was made. that each wrote let- led A rences ended with nine in favor, United States war on laws. vote on the suspen- Dan Herman, WLUSU ters to the members of the four opposed, and two Iraq." sion of the By-laws for the President voted in favor of Board to their "700 of this motion convey disap- abstentions and it was people signing a peti- purpose then the motion being outside of pointment, but no official determined then that the tion was not enough to dis- failed. the scope because, as he responses were made in motion failed as it did not cuss the motion," said "As far as my under- "The role of student to the letters. On Borrelli. "It if it didn't fit said, regard meet a 2/3 majority. It was was as saying standing goes, is to deal with the overall circumstances, that those 700 don't government later pointed out that all people our purpose and objectives. stuff that has direct Shonk "There deserve the of When I a commented, that was needed for the respect being gave my interpreta- impact on student life. will definitely be issues that motion to be further dis- heard." tion, I felt it wasn't within this will come this that When asked about the Shonk. Although was a politi- up year cussed was a simple majori- our scope," said cal event I didn't feel that it the Board will be for Chair of the Board Debate continued the open ty (50 plus one vote) as petition, on made direct like debate on." Colin Shonk "Yes, a impact a opposed to a 2/3 majority. replied, topic and a roll call vote was local political event would." "The real issue wasn't the 700 people signed the peti- taken where each member This the motion the brought motion on the war but a tion but we have to take into of Boards name is close and the Board consideration that thou- called and their to a was week earlier we discussed answer

Vacation pro-ration News Bites

Laurier students "donate" $8.5 million to WLU University administration plans to rescind vacation days

WLUSU recently made a donation of almost $8.5 million for members who walked line in WLUSA fall; next picket to WLU to be distributed over the eight years. The is from the student life money generated levy, which sees move deemed staff workers 'petty' by both full-time and part-time undergraduate students pay- half-credit ing $9.17 per course to a maximum of $36.68

in the first year of the agreement. JENNIFER ASSELIN of September, October, and May 17, the Union, through "The student life levy," explained Meighan Doherty News Editor November will see an the Employment Standards WLUSU's Executive Vice-President University Affairs, "is adjustment only for October Act, does not consider vaca- fee to students collected and a charged by us goes towards since did not work at tion a benefit but rather an Just as things were run- they such things as computers, online periodicals, and books for the all that month. entitlement based on ning smoothly years in the It for library. pays things every student deals with." Wilfrid Laurier University "I personally feel it was- of service. Trudel stated This is the gift in the " largest university's history and n't do said Staff Association the necessary to so, that, "Any reduction in of the most one significant donations by students at any Administrative vacation entitlement is dis- University threw a wrench Secretary Canadian university of a similar size. in the mix by deciding to for Biology Elma criminatory against mem-

were bers who strike." pro-rate the staffs vacation. Schweigert. "Things were on Food Services contract currently under negotiation into and heal- The The initial plan was to falling place Employment

the staff's ing was underway. I feel as Standards Act on pro-rate vaca- (2000) The Food Services is contract up for negotiation as the tions based on the seven though it is petty for the distribution of vacation pay current agreement ends on June 30. Negotiations began to weeks that the union mem- administration do so," during labour disputes last Friday and continue through May 23. When asked bers strike back in she continued. reads, "If the has spent on employer whether could be an agreement expected before the cur- When asked if this will scheduled vacation for an September. This means that rent contract is up Peter Schneider, Manager of Food the vacation time for those affect University and staff and employee subsequently said it Services, was "quite possible." who would be relations Butler replied, "It the employee goes on strike picketed Schneider said that relations between the administra- assessed to reminds of an or is locked out a proportionately just everyone during tion Services and Food are quite good and that they "enjoy situation. With time for which the the time they spent on the unpleasant vacation a good relationship. picket lines. Those who regards to on-going rela- pay that would have been "Hopefully," he said, "both parties will come out with it shouldn't." him crossed the line will tions, no, paid to or her with picket smiles on their faces." to Ann to that vacation." not be penalized. Anyone According Duffy, respect Administrative expecting 15 days vacation the When asked about the Laurier receives $11.27 million from government for Fine "If Butler would receive only 12.98 Secretary Arts, legislation pointed

were to do this, out that the did days. "When you go on they going University On April 14 the provincial government announced that it it would have been much workers who strike you forfeit your com- compensate would be providing Laurier with an $11.27 million said the better if Laurier's negotiat- had scheduled vacation pensation," fund. The is Superßuild funding seen as part of the time gov- University's Vice-President: ing team had mentioned it during that period but ernment's willingness to help the university with the Finance and to WLUSA's negotiating that the pro-rating affects demands of the double cohort. Administration Jim Butler team before we came back to future vacation scheduling. "In the rate last three years, our of growth has been in interview with The work." Overall, it seems that the an double the system average and this funding will help not Cord. as Butler Butler explained that staff is regarding this However, those in ensure we can serve students a quality fashion," explained, "As a good-will this was covered within the as a positive move on the said university President Robert G. Rosehart. first few of "It's gesture, for September and days negotiation University's part. very The money will go towards covering 54 percent of the no will be as WLUSA was told that petty in mind and November, days my $21.1 estimated million cost of Laurier s undergraduate lost." their benefits were going to shocking frankly," said the accessibility project (UAP) in Waterloo. Due to this considera- be a,dj usted. These benefits Administrative Secretary

staff will now receive included vacation time. for English and Union tion, Former Cord Editor-in-Chief's trial set for June 13.75 days vacation. Attempts were made to Executive Joanne Buehler- contact the Buchan. Basically, WLU is granting Trudy Trudel, The pre-trial for Maneesh Sehdev, who was fired last for each month in president of WLUSA, but as "I am vacation disappointed," from his Cord September job as The Weekly's Editor-in- of time she had not which a member worked at press replied Duffy. "We were Chief and is now WLUSP for suing $10,000, took place on returned calls. As and this least one day. Those on the phone working hard April 15. The trial itself is set for June 11 in Kitchener's line for the months stated in The Record on takes a back." picket you step Small Claims Court. Wednesday May 212003 News 3

University budget approved

COLIN DUFFETT the coffers of the Enhancement of Student issue is of become govern- great importance even more cramped

News Editor ment shelling out close to Life Levy, and the Student to the administration, as it than it already is. When

50 million dollars in funds Publications Fee. will put the University in a asked her opinion on the to the Fabrizo Antonelli, my old university. The university has deficit position for the year possible increase of U of W With high school business their new found recently come under the despite their original sur- students attending Laurier wealth administration teacher once also comes an gunregarding the universi- plus. The concern is that if third year student Amy in taught me that revenue increase spending in ty pension plan. Due to the the world markets, which Mallett said, "By allowing minus expenses equals many major areas. Of spe- poor performance of the were down across the an increased number of cial profit. Well, it looks like interest to students is a world's stock markets, board, don't improve within Waterloo students to attend

27 increase the Wilfrid Laurier brass percent in Laurier is on the hook for the next year or two, then classes at Laurier we are Student learned that somewhere, spending to an anticipated 14 million the administration may taking away one of the too. In a meeting 1 on April Services including Athletics have to make cuts to some unique and positive aspects and 28th, the University Board Recreation, changes areas in order to make up of Laurier," referring to the Due the to poor of passed this and additions within the for the substantial lose due traditionally small class-

Office of the Dean of of to of environment year's budget which sees performance the the poor- performance room that the of for. the school take in 100 mil- Students, costs pro- the stocks. Laurier is known world's stock mar- Brantford lion dollars while spending viding campus Of special concern to stu- In the end, despite students with kets, Laurier is on is increases in a little more than 101 mil- some essen- dents the plan to have funding across lion. Due to the restructur- tial services as well as fund- of Waterloo the students will the hook for an more University board, for the costs associated little of ing of some monies, the ing students studying and tak- probably see very 14 mis- will with the double anticipated classes here Laurier the in direct Laurier see a small impending ing at money a capac- of cohort. instead of Laurier profit a little more than $ lion dollars. having ity. The books at the book-

2000. Unfortunately, students students attending class at store will still cost the

increase in will also their tuition Waterloo. This the will still The annual see cross regis- same, line-ups bill increase. tration tuition, meal plans and res- posses a potential be long at the registrar's idence costs coupled with Undergraduate fees will dollars. Vice President of problem for students. Some office, classroom sizes will the increased number of once again be raised. One Finance and around campus already feel remain relatively large, and half-credit first-year students provided course will now Administration, Jim Butler that Laurier is over-crowd- the corridors around IEI

with cost $469. 10. Students will recommended in his ed and with the will over- the university the budget impending and the concourse of its also find will have to that the its influx of first Those the main portion they university use year students crowded. are fork increased revenue funds out more money for operating line of credit to now coupled with the realities of studying at a

14 increases in the Students' for the amortization increase of Waterloo which are up over per- pay stu- University where the popu-

2002 - Union of 1.5 million dents lation but cent from the 2003 Building Fee, repayment studying here at keeps going up Student Administrative dollars that Laurier will around facilities numbers. The other half of Laurier, space cam- the stay the same. Council the increases comes from Fee, The have to pay this year. This pus and in classrooms will

No more Wok for the Hawk

Despite the personalized stir-fries and the recent addition of bubble tea,

Laurier's Golden Wok is shut down

JENNIFER ASSELIN themselves to close opera- tions News Editor as of April 4, the last day of classes.

After there to a year of trying to "Operations are Colin Dut't'ett for students and if come with a profitable provide up students will be able the Golden Wok between classes its will Returning not to enjoy next year. In place, marketing scheme, the they're losing money, we be a yet to be determined establishment. can't offer student Golden Wok has been per- services," manently shut down by the explained Herman. reduce food waste and find Nobles also went to to Wilfrid Laurier Students' on ways provide better qual-

Union. explain that the year to ity food.

businesses "Three the year are budget- Overall, there were Deregulation years ago

Golden Wok was seen as a ed to lose a certain amount approximately nine to

11 of since twelve good operation, said money they are jobs lost including a WLUSU President Dan paying to be opened for Student Assistant Manager dummied down Herman. "We can't look at it twelve months but only position. Those who were

for as a failure but as a lesson operate eight. The prob- employed by Golden Wok, learned." lem was that the Golden though, had the option of a

Over the two Wok surpassed their bud- supplemental application to for dummies past years the establishment deficit. another in the Terrace. was oper- geted area ating at a loss and, as As of now, last years

Operations Manager Management Committee Definition to Laurier's BBA program "It started to lose Christine Nobles stated, "It has left it up to this year's The act whereby the to those who can afford to started to lose more committee to decide what administrative of a for it, out the money more money than body pay leaving than anticipated." will replace Golden Wok. university is able to forego deserving but financially It was a anticipated. "We haven't decided the unable. "It was a good business yet," regulated 2% tuition business said Herman. "If talk to increase set the plan but it just didn't pan good plan you cap by in favour of The out. The sales just weren't it didn't students, you get literally government a Ugly but just pan there," Nobles continued. hundreds of viable options," tuition that is determined Very little consultation has sales out. The just he continued. been done with the current The eatery opened in by the university body 2000 with has been final- based market value. student of Wilfrid along the popu- weren't there." Nothing upon body lar Yogen Fruz in the ized yet but, says Nobles, Laurier University con- -Christine Nobles, WLUSU expansion of the Terrace "There will be focus groups The Good cerning tuition deregula- Food Court. Unfortunately, Operations Manager and market research to find Tuition deregulation will tion. Despite the fact that the business didn't tran- out what is missing on the increase the amount of 95% of students poll were University that will flow into the spire as was hoped and this campus. money against deregulation,

"WLUSU is However, has been the has submitted a past year it lost $35, constantly nothing university, enabling university

312.68. the value of serv- initiated at this said to hire bet- letter of intent to the This is the most up- balancing point." university

ices with their cost and "There are a lot of issues ter and more of Education ask- to-date figure as, "it may faculty, Ministry is too much for the to work commented and to change slightly as more $35,000 out," improve programmes ing permission deregu- that the few students Herman. He concluded increase Business data is entered," said utility opti- bursary amounts. late the pro- the Golden Wok that "we would WLUSU Vice President: that ate at mistically gramme.

Finance and received," said Welker. like to have operations in The Bad

Administration Steven A variety of promotions place by the first of Tuition deregulation will -Compiled by Colin Duffett in order to drive the of four- Welker. took place get September." up cost a

This business BBA to astro- was such a large more including year degree free combo deals nomical The sum to be losing that last samples, figures. large also increase in tuition fees will Club year's Management and giveaways. They

Committee it tried to set a plan to limit the of applicants took upon up pool Laurier 2003 4 Opinion Wednesday May 21

The Cord Weekly Health for the self

The tie that binds since 1926

1 can A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication see in your head to the self as the person you serving yourself Opinion so far. want to as well as only take you Third Floor, Fred Nichols Campus Centre people painting your be, if do good to Editor picture. The first step the person want Even you 75 University Avenue West, you community (in on the paint-by-num- others to understand. the N2L 3C5 Waterloo, Ontario, feel bers whatever you and the difference This type of respon- way (519) 884-1970 ext. 3564 self- does refer to is appropriate) for Stefan between ending up sibility not Fax:(519)883-0873 will immortalized on a some societal debt, to preservation, you Sereda Advertising: (519) 884-1970 ext. 3560 "character in have to contribute at chapel ceiling or crum- building"

www.wlusp.com the traditional to some point. Socrates, pled up beside the sense, of Nazareth, e-mail: [email protected] garbage: responsibility. conforming to what Jesus "You are what do." you It Immanuel Kant, The Everyone should others want to see. is first Whether you of the "I've heard that word." of Beatles... many never even hold themselves a way asserting your heard it from an exis- - Editor former News of stat- thinkers Stefan Sereda (current Opinion and accountable to their own personality, greatest the tentialist philosopher Editor), in reference to usage ofpro-rated I history own ideals by taking a ing "This is who am," throughout or Kuato, the mutant that the commu- whether that person agreed revolutionary growing must be served to fits in or sticks out like nity Editorial Board out of dude's stomach a attain better state of Whether strolling Charlie Manson in a a in Total Recall, the mes- church choir. being. barefoot across is a and Editor-in-Chief Wilbur McLean sage simple if Believers in "just Of course, you fundamental teaching Road or Abbey to or what Production Manager Caitlin Howlett count your loyalty desserts," for humankind. would call around society, institutions, Lennon News Editors Jennifer Asselin strutting People constantly fam- "Instant Karma" would your friends, your Colin Duffett define others based Miami in on pastels, with these thinkers ily, or the cats you call join Opinion Editor Stefan Sereda their words, actions, keep in mind that "Mittens" and "OJ's in the statement "Do major life decisions and International Editor Bryn Boyce Glove" unto others as you entirely serving among your per- involuntary spasms. unto Entertainment Editor Chris Clemens sonal responsibilities, would have done Outward being is the can yourself only better remain cred- you." But before you go Sports Editor Derek Iwanuk you only thing that your ible. This even doing unto or following take you so far. may Features Editor Vacant fellows will consider mean placing Mittens' this rule, maybe you when their Student Life Editor Jessica McLaughlin drafting consider what moment to consider interests above your should char- Arts Editor Katie West ever-scrutinizing what their deeds and utter- own. you are, you do, acter sketches of you. end the and how would like Special Projects Editor Thomas Thompson ances before stamped- "And in the you Despite your differing love take is to to be. Even if have ing them out into the you equal you Cord Staff and inten- thoughts make." to search for in world like buffalo off a the love you answers tions, most don't people handed down teach- cliff. This is the best Who said this one, Production Assistants Carly Beath work in abstract: they to that Lennon and way make sure McCartney, ings, drugged-out hip- the concrete Siobhan Bhagwat April Cunningham interpret and freaks your intentions are pre- or Don Johnson? pie anthems, To the object. prevent bare- out of the Amy Mallett sented if you so wish, Whether strolling growing distortion of your char- and it should cut down foot across Road stomachs of other Editors Amanda Elliott Abbey Copy acter into a Picasso freaks in Arnold on misconceptions. or strutting around Photo Matt Benassi Manager piece, you have to make Essentially, it is the Miami in pastels, keep Schwarzenegger Distribution Tali Spivak sure communicate Manager you movies... only way to frame your- in mind that entirely the perfect portrait Advertising Manager Elisabeth Oliviera you

Ad Production Manager Nicole Wilker

Ad Production Sarah Fabbro Assistants Mikel Sala Laurier has wet the bed WLUSP Administration

President Laura Jardine sions to basic questions Carson claims that De-regulation issues VP: Finance Tunde Igli Editor-in- about deregulation's "we are running out of have been discussed VP: Advertising Angela Foster Chief impact on students. resources at the school behind closed doors and

Board of Directors Sandra McKenzie and the University" and within the undemocrat-

I Marc Henein Jeevan Bains don't know where believes the SBE has ic confines of "in-cam-

that came from.' all streams of era", stu- Jennifer McDonald Wayne Money Wilbur pee "tapped" disallowing 1

revenue. dents from 1 a McLean becoming Corporate Secretary Amanda Kirkwood Will the estimated 5% These resources part of the decision-

increase in tuition be have not run out making process or even

' Oh, no. Laurier's School however. made of •: compounded annually? overnight, being aware of Business has wet the He doesn't know. Steps should have been what is happening.

taken bed. That yellow dereg- Will non-Business years ago to alle- Little has been done Skokson Tim Hustons Wilbur's Bank bard, gtabng "raoglP ulation is all over those students wishing to viate some of the losses by the administration

clean, white sheets. take Business electives being incurred by the or the SBE to inform

intor- How is be forced to SBE. While mention has students of «nd "!t66 time/ &U the poople vviio jjhvo Jenn. correct a ninety- pay an what could nmtion, TROGT)OR!?: ihe Burninaron Strongbad, Zof&ngus* child increased rate? been of three-year-old made the SBE soon be the reality fac- Talk Abouf' big fax party animals, X-Men 'L "Something to 1; going to respond when He doesn't know. bankrupting Laurier, ing the school they no thanks to The Matrix Reloaded. sweeping floors and asked why it wet its How much financial such utterances do not attend. Carson insists

bed? the same aid students those to that "if Likely can expect excuse wishing we are going to

way a six-year-old child under deregulation? deregulate Laui'ier as do something like this For those of you who scrutinize rfie Cord to the point that would respond. There He doesn't know. an answer. Rather, that it have broad noticed that Volume number" Irom42 you. our skipped to number of Carson's are a alterna- Perhaps 44, wan, lbs borauv we livs =in ih" hburn. Suakara AeiuaJiy acceptance throughout the end of last bad baas; tives. exorbitant is W' sji--:? aaorud at year baa we salary Why, then, is the community." levied on a dime-per-I So why, then, is tor roads Ira- and ajaaa >. no ituhti gutting roe aiiurgs Dean Carson 'I don't know how that don't know' basis Carson to con- this weekend. trying both my parents, wbo ai'« picking me up in bed.' How can Carson for oil' pee my to convince vince us that it's U'iaa'i-V. Jeaoaa? I aaa--; Joanna. bbav dropping got trying only whether bawnbs tow for mo, Laura for boiog l.ao stubborn fujast give expect others, apple juice staining his us that it's allien that does.nk only mo aaa «wn to ht;r so baa roommate While he's his key undoubtedly they be upper-crust pretty sheets? have to drive to da- aadaal at 8 am so t aaa go? In to oopy that his other aware parents colleagues or apple juice It's always difficult una stupid ad off the bank-up aomputar are displeased with stakeholders in the to admit to k hanks to Albs one pair ol'jea.os and gardening glove-Trait- staining his pretty having a Ail one the child not to make tans. If you kisow somebody besides who only owns him, may University, an problem. No child sheets? pair of pants, oomo up to Tho Cord oflieo ar.sd reaoivo a froo be able to much educated decision explain on wants anybody to know bottle ofwa.lor That's nojoke. Well givo it to you. Thanks to of the accident beyond the effects and influ- that he's in the -Oh GeediT the wobble-wobbleand snaky-shaky Oh yeah, peed that. ences will these same bureaucrats a deregulation bed. At the and Jessica McLaughlin for leaving rno massage. same time, that the have on Laurier and the to rush the Considering attempting however, any child of tuition SBE when de-regulation he, himself, deregulation process knows that in order to

The Cord is the officialstudentnewspaper olWilfridLaurier Itisan inde- for the School of doesn't know of should have been work- Weekly University. editorially many get a clean set of sheets, pendent publishedby WilfridLaurier University Student Publications. Waterloo, a corpo- newspaper Business could be a the answers? for to turn ing years Mommy and Daddy ration without share capital. WLUSP is governedby its board of directors. Laurier has around the reality facing That, however, money- have to be told eventual-

students as soon as not the SBE SBE. Then All letters to the editor must be signed and submitted with the author 's name, student identification stopped swallowing ly. The difference with

via e-mailat number, and telephone number. Letters must be received noon Tuesday on disk, or it's Council, the it is a by September, alarming Faculty again, lot easier the deregulation situa- with the of Cord letter'. Letters must be or easily legible [email protected] subject heading typed how little is known Alumni Association to the or a push panic but- tion is that the The Cord the lo edit letter for and and may not exceed 350 words. reserves right any brevity clarity. is about what happen- load of other commit- ton and look for the eas- The Cord the reject letter, in whole or University's adminis- Spelling and grammar willbe corrected. reserves right to any ing. tees and subcommittees iest solution tration in part. possible are wetting The Dean of the from in favour of than work to fix SBE, voting the their bed and then material thatis deemedto be libelous in contravention The Cord reserves the right not topublish or Scott Carson (annual deregulation. problem beforehand. that insisting we, the with the Cord's Code ofEthics orjournalistic standards. the salary: $147,071), Laurier students, lie in

and do relied those of the Editorial man 'It's not fault; the 'There's no wet bed it. Opinionsexpressedare those ot the author not necessarily Board. ultimately leading my

WLUSP, WLU or Hamilton Web Printing. the for bed made me do it.' here. Ummm, can charge deregu- you And, sadly, it lation doesn't look for seem to away a second?' appears the addresses within Canada. The Cord University's Cord subscription rates are $20.00 per term lor is printed by When know. making a Many children, upon bladder HamiltonWeb Printing andis publishedevery Wednesday. problem is presentation to the peeing the bed, will The students of Laurier, beyond repair. WLUSU of blame all but 600 of Board attempt to any- who are

Directors, Carson had thing but themselves elsewhere this summer don't the same answer on for their poor bladder know that Laurier's eight separate occa- control. wet the bed. Wednesday May 21 2003 Opinion 5

Fool for the ol' skool Bunk kicked

Former columnist Chris Clemens returns because we were in on a junk nostalgia trip; proves his own point by being not

quite as cool as we all remember and casually mention that I State of was "finished" and that

their each other in there would be Entertainment wobbly guys aiming ing a strictly the World no dignified in guns the vague direction G-rated environment and place in the world for some- Editor of their enemies and crappy spawning some of the most one with my (limited) work

"POW POW SHLOCK" obtuse species names of all ethic. these Brian Perhaps jibes

sound effects. Disappointed time. were supposed to me D'Souza spur in Chris the destruction of one of Now I cei'tainly don't like on in my pursuit towards fondest Clemens my childhood mem- Pokemon. I think it is a big academic excellence in the

ories, I turned off the TV stinking heap of garbage. How many times have we same manner which a rid-

and dived out the window to I have heard lament the is However, a sneaking people ing crop used to spur a As I was flipping- through deliver elbow that if of the world? That if a punishing suspicion I were cur- state a racing horse on. Instead, TV channels the other day drop to my slowly recover- rently eight years old I certain policy was not the endless rants laced with with overwhelming disin- ing roommate. might think it was kind of immediately enacted, the countless insults acted as terest vested in me by a is it that if fulfill fall us? Why nostalgia cool, only to the sky would upon catalysts to speed up the that society emphasizes cloud That can so effectively our overwhelming desire to fit we had to listen to the slow attrition regarding my in its entertain- passivity memories of the in and conform advice for things we to peer pres- speaker's to the let- respect both my parents ment, catatonic fell my gaze loved when we were sure. ter, otherwise "all would be and academic institutions.

across something that younger? I can't stand see- This is a frightening rev- lost"? Like the "Challenge brain life for sparked my to ing or watching anything elation. Maybe I only One excellent quote on Program", the prestigious first time in "G.I. the years. that I liked back in the this day thought things were great phenomenon comes Honor Roll is now a relic of Joe!" I suddenly yelled, because brain from my ruthlessly when I was young because Jean Paul Sartre's the past, along with all the grabbing my stunned room- erases the fond memories of everyone else told me so, introduction to Frantz other awards I never came mate and accidentally a once with and Fanon's The Wretched of the quality product my weak-willed, fragile close to winning at my suplexing him out the win- an updated opinion that mind eventually began to Earth, 'When a Frenchman, High School graduation. To dow in my uncontrOollable reads the always same way: embrace the enforced views for example, says to other be sure, I made terrible mis- of state enthusiasm. I was "This is of shit and of others its After a piece as own. Frenchmen, "The country is takes in my life, but not in breath- alone the room, for the done for"—which you were stupid liking all, only thing genuine- has hap- using my intellect to placate at less, excitedly staring a G.I. Joe from I should ly separating pened, think, my ignorant and overbear- late commercial for night line of hit Power almost since not of today's everyday ing parents was one the old-school G.I. Joe Rangers Ex Duo Amazing 1930—it is emotional talk; them. is it action figures that I had Why that nostal- Saga Mutant toys is my burning with love and fury, known and loved during gia can so effectively memory of how sweet the the speaker includes him- my childhood. Joe was back in the day self with his fellow country- cloud our memories Slowly joy dimin- my to view of the men. And then he the who compared my usually ... people ished. The figures didn't of the things we Power Rangers as painfully adds, "Unless..." His mean- fuck things up are seem nearly as cool as I rendered acid trips. ing is clear; no more mis- loved when we were remembered; little men of almost never the Attempting to re-exam- takes must be made; if his valour with vari- equipped a younger? ine elements of instructions not carried nostalgic are same ones who have ety of saucily customizable your childhood is bad news. out to the letter, then and to clean the mess weapons and helmets who up It starts as a lovely pranc- only then will the country could be unceremoniously it. Get Cheetos!" afterwards. me some ing trip down memory lane go to pieces.' into jammed garishly You still to and ends in the can try con- brutal men- Things can go extremely coloured vehicles for battle. vince that stan- tal execution of yourself the things wrong. Perhaps Sartre is looked like dumb- No, they dards have and changed you remember most fondly, making a sly allusion to the ass figurines with awk- that you've grown to like except for Super Mario invasion and occupation of Today could be the vital wardly bending limbs and different of types things as Brothers 3 for Nintendo. France by Nazi Germany in turning point when we set ridiculously disproportion- you aged, but there's one That game stands the test of the Second World War?. Or out to fulfill our ambitions. ate accessories, posed barrier that to argument: time any day. Remember is he talking about the vir- And believe me, when I say against various cheaply Pokemon. Yes, little kids the Big World? And the suit tual destruction of France's "our," I refer to the individ- rendered backdrops. love Pokemon, the a today that turned you into stat- economy? Were the military uals set apart from the col- There battle was no epic cartoon/video ue? Classic! game/collec- defeats in Vietnam and lection of parasites that one between the forces of good tors cards that vari- massive depict Algeria setbacks can attract in life- the peo- and bunch of evil, just a cartoon animals for France? ous fight- ple who try to use every No. None of these events, opportunity to leech off of matter how lives. If no tragic or our I regret any- led the it's moth- Who to devastating, to col- thing, the way my are of the nation the looks back you judge? lapse or er through rose erasure of the French peo- colored glasses and loudly

ple from existence. To be proclaims some obscenity Opinion Editor Stefan Sereda rates and scrutinizes the sure, conditions were intol- like "My son, a success!" erable and sickening at simply because I haven't of others who controversy opinions attempt times, but the people sur- transformed myself into the

vived. drug addicted, homicidal

First on the block: the to the Liberals, Real in the face chopping finger provincial parliament go success psychopath my parents Durham MPP John O'Toole. who need obscenities But some willy nilly. mostly, John of defeat and tragedy does rightly deserve as a son. What of the thrown their for part body are way doing O'Toole, you get one lousy not come from alarmist The one thing I'll remem- we the axe? I all that in beatnik for the bitchin' giving- sug- nothing daring delusions or from the pro- ber long after my time at the middle of the last of centuries. look face of gest finger couple angry on your jection imagined and Laurier fades from my this raging Progressive Mostly, my problem here which recalled days when inflated threats. It comes rearview mirror into the Conservative. Far be it for is with form. C'mon, the fin- you were an angsty teenag- from pursuing concrete distance is that the people me to call PC that's and not old white solutions to real fuck a a beatnik, so ger? Yeh, original, er, an problems. who things up are he's said listed only getting one you really a lot there. man as a member of If we listened to the people almost never the same ones beater for Make the MPP who off the crustiest gouteed bongo cut political party who issue idle threats if we who have to clean up the his little outburst. in Canada. And only your speech really mad refuse to give into their mess afterwards. because he broke the rules next time by giving him a demands for obedience and within the confines of thumbs down and a a disap- compliance, we board a party that's clenched so proving look. train that never leaves the tight only dogs can hear So one lousy beatnik for Out of a possible 5 lousy station. their farts. the Beatniks flipping bird, throwing My parents never used and Well, that and he gave a tantrum, making any restraint when they'd

look at my (poor) grades

Lousy Beatnik Ratings:

1 beatnik: not even wearing black or drinking coffee

2 beatniks: nonconformant conformity

3 beatniks: bongo beating subversive hipster

Variable cloudiness Variable cloudiness Showers rain 4 with Light beatniks: poetic your 16 C High 16 C High 17 C 13' politics High High C Low 6 0 Low S"C Low 8 C Low 8 0

P.O.P. 20% P.O.P. 5 beatniks: Allen Ginsberg P.O.P. 30% 40% P.O.P 90% in India 6 Opinion Wednesday May 212003

Despise the American lies

don't think I'm alone in strangely dissimilar to the everyday coming- from their existence is quietly War in the retaining critical judgment reality it's based on. On one American governmental forgotten and ultimately

for recited to me that freedom, Iraq anything hand, I'm told every- sources, through American war was fought for by the Bvish administration thing is fine around the media and then right into not WMD.

through the corporate- world, and that SARS is now the living rooms of the Last year's freedom fight-

owned media. the threat de but then world? The Earth this terrorists, Michael jour, might as ers are year's the media and I well flat isn't semantics Borrelli During war, every now again see be so long as CNN and it just

was the the back headline and it's a determined objectivity deeply reports on page runs a Dubya any longer:

flawed as officials that that make that military announce every- holds a press conference campaign to sure

On March 19th of this checked over is NOT and that year, thing fine, saying* so. the legitimacy constantly

the first bombs fell the news that was fit to The constant derived truth rests in the on yesterday's problems are compar- by the written embedded still isons of Baghdad, signaling print by today's problems. to 1954 don't seem, so hands a specific group.

of US-led attack This was no For CBC Radio- 'out there' in who doesn't believe beginning a journalists. example, a,ny longer a Anyone

011 Iraq by the so-called secret, and everyone was One was telling me that the world where we're constant- the official version of truth able Taliban ille- "Coalition of the Willing." to accept that the truth was up andrunning ly at War with something: is deemed irrational and

was to be the war's in dose of Now, more than two months going again Afghanistan. I was Drugs, Terror, SARS. The gitimate. A healthy

later, the bombs have first For a few under the that of the can be easily casualty t impression use adjective self-regulation

weeks the allowed the all to stopped falling, an occupa- public those who harbored ter- "Orwellian" to describe the administered a popula-

war to be 'created' the bombed back with free tion force is in place, and for by ror were to the USA isn't so tongue-in- tion by anyone the most back Stone and that tlie cheek of to part everyone Age when Weapons access a technological radio. A here in North America is world was a safer place. Mass Destruction officially medium like TV or The Earth as might have going on with their lives as Then the International exist and their existence is a satellite signal can the

if had well be flat Institute for for affect nuclear nothing ever hap- so long Strategic- prerequisite war, then same as a Studies said the pened. war with somewhere along the line bomb if used properly. as CNN runs a head- In Iraq, the US Imperial Iraq actually strengthened "" " line and holds pPB Machine has freed the Iraqi Dubya terror groups. Well, the war IMMM in people finally and decisively a conference was fought part to rid the press leaving a Democratic Utopia world of terrorism right? so. saying But then al behind, has discovered the Qaeda manages long sought after Weapons to launch attacks in Saudi

of Mass Destruction that Arabia proving to us that |War

at the of still able necessitated the war, has rid Pentagon expense a they are to terror-

the world of Saddam reality-bound account, but ize whenever they feel so

Hussein and his dictatorial no one wants to accept that inclined.

ilk, terror- it happens Sure, If claims to truth and has ended everyday. are rtfpj I the isn't to the ism once and for all. If Pentagon censoring claims power, then out watched CNN and Fox News every piece of news American Empire is without

before it but most sporadically over the past goes public, a doubt the single pow-

few weeks, then perhaps I'd anyone who's read erful empire in history. Who Consent be able to accept those state- Manufacturing can compete with the

ments. But let's face it; I knows that some news has a 'truths' about the world that

funny way of ending up we are bombarded with

- Ways to . \ v"' •>*;. •. Shifty'sTop 10 Ixpress an Suwwer

10. Go see "The Matrix Reloaded" and caii Hollywood on their terrible mistake by yelling

"Wankfest!"

with 9. Repeat number ten every other Hollywood blockbuster.

8. Key cars at the "My car is reeeal shiny and expensive" conventions held in local fields

and parking lots.

7. Give look at the latest a really disgusted anyone singing megabit about the beach/sun.

6. Throw ice cubes at the local Dicky Dees while shouting "Think about the irony!" Univerfity Ave,

5. Boycott Blue Jays baseball until they pull Tony Fernandez out of retirement. KiibiiiMitß

885-2530 4. Draft an anti-tuition deregulation letter... then in the throes of sloth take three weeks [email protected] to send it In.

Run forests 3. naked-through hospitals and to show the world that we can beat SARS

and West Niles.

2. Shake your head at anyone who is not a big fat party animal but wearing a Hawaiian $25 000 Open Book Contest shirt anyways.

2£o choice And the Number One Best To An This Summer is... multiple questions on Part !V of Way Express Opinion j i\\ I"The Urantia Pook" "The Life / and Teaching of Jesus"

\ \"J jm> | Sweat profusely around people you dislike. \7-ll Wj ( years old only ")

For details please visit:

:SYS FRtfH

\2x 12"medium pizzas Stoppings ion easts! & 2 flipping sauces

I 2X14"lBF§6 IIiZZSS 3 toppings ion each! 2 flipping sauces $18*83

3tmin9Sfe" eaci,} garlictotf 6cokes& 19 !I®M • - «J W* raAif«ffm naiwM 12kl2 mmmm " Satisfied Suklchs I ; pizzas $w.9§i * jI * j : 8 m i lea ;hi,« Included II ; F'l'ilii UTir i r ||-| || , )||M iiHlf liiKNl'Hlkt^1'"'! irii l'lii N iNI MH llHilJßllMill'ltMU'lllldl■WlllHllWMWViynlUt l » (lint I* ' Owfofd 1 **.»%** «M 3 I ■ Listings of school),, agencies, and.»%** || |

( | mrruifcf*: fro«i around She world ||| 1~8 -'" » £"J 'f Hare Info Contact |.ror Oxford Seminars: M & \ 8 § /$ $ on 4? '? n& *% Vtf« V HHJ I j onA o/g >•?,<; IS I fl '' X7'o /'< if. 9 '■•• o ISCTPf*WfWSFWWp^ Wr; ••:; I Wednesday May 212003 Student Life 7

Day Trippin'

Close summer excursions for the student on a budget in Waterloo

JESSICA MCLAUGHLIN back and full service.

Student Life Editor Though their dessert selec-

tion is impressive, be pre-

to about ten This summer many of you pared spend who have chosen to stay in dollars here for a slice of town, as opposed to sublet- cake and cappuccino. for ting your living space peanuts, may be wondering 1 how to fill those long sum- STRATFORD PARK mer days in Waterloo. Since AND JAZZ MUSIC

I grew up in this area, I, AT TANGO BISTRO with of together some my bored local resi- equally Location: 50km west of WLU dents have come with up campus five summer day trips Estimated Cost: $10 around the area to make

the most of sure you get Though this afternoon day

summer in Waterloo your trip does require access to a without breaking the bank. car, a drive to Stratford is

Here's what we came up less than half an hour and with. this tourist town provides a lot to do. The tourist infor-

mation booth is right at the lessica McLaughlin THE BEAD BAZAAR front of the park and, upon in creative side the Bead Get touch with your at Bazaar. AND AFTERNOON request, they will provide

DESSERT you with a free parking pint while listening to the butterflies and insects. some snacks to share. As for pass the main strip. To free entertainment. Admission is about seven long as you own a bathing is Location: 2km south of WLU begin the day I suggest An added bonus to this dollars but group rates are suit this day virtually for free friends packing a picnic the trip is that on out available. If you're looking and all campus your way your do have a of Stratford the for to show will be of tan. Estimated Cost: $10 - $15 park. Though we you'll pass an opportunity jealous your

park in Waterloo I find that Market Place mall that is that fear is not a factor for

friend feel like very few people hang out never picked over and has the also FARMERS MARKET If you and a you, conservatory there and usually feel a lit- great sales. has free samples of extreme walking somewhere, the AND BREAKFAST

tle out of a foods such as mealworm ice Bead Bazaar is an adorable place setting up AT THE STONE

picnic lunch. In Stratford cream and chocolate cov- little shop on King street CROCK IN ST. Park you'll be to find HIKING THE ered to just minutes from Laurier. lucky ON grasshoppers try. JACOBS For less than five dollars a spot to spread out your BLAIR TRAIL AND The entire conservatory feast since there is hot and and friend can create are always actually really you a THE BUTTERFLY Location: 2km south of WLU tons of people enjoying the kind of a romantic unique and personalized IN tropical; CONSERVATORY campus jewelry out of colourful sun. hot spot so I suspect that CAMBRIDGE Estimated Cost: $6 upwards If decide not to bring this nature would beads and accessories. My you day trip food the street be for friend and I each dropped directly especially fitting a Location: 20km east of WLU Firstly, if you have no about four dollars to make beside the park has a cute couple. to this is the campus access a car necklaces similar to those place where you can order for Grand River Estimated Cost: $10 - $15 trip you. sandwiches from window they sell at the beach for a transit runs routes to St. for of about ten. An added bonus only a couple bucks. GRAND BEND For of who like Jacob's farmers market, The York Street Kitchen is any you is that the employees are BEACH fifteen-minute ride. exercise and the outdoors, about a the offer around to those best and they veg- always help local the Blair trail in Cambridge To start the day a etarian dishes. To an not so creatively gifted cus- pass Location: 50km north-west restaurant offers an is a great place to go hiking hour there are countless tomers to finish the fine of WLU on a summer afternoon. It campus authentically home-style knick-knack to details of their piece. An shops Estimated Cost: $5 only takes about twenty breakfast buffet for $5.95 to the bead browse through; sometimes average trip coffee tea. minutes to get there and is including or bazaar lasts about you can pick up a couple a an hour, If you're determined to get obviously free. The trail After filling up head over to cool for sometimes an hour and a things your place to a beach the closest hot for inex- runs the Grand River the market some for along half if really cheap. As the sun you're slow. After vis- sand is in Grand bend, and offers various pensive shopping best deals the is lengths the Bead Bazaar and if fades, place to be iting about a forty five-minute of routes for the avid hiker. include sterling silver jew- the weather is I Tango Bistro. With live jazz permitting, drive. All you have to pay and leather Keeping with the nature ellery, makeup music and an art deco suggest a visit to one of the for to to the beach is day theme, the butterfly go gas goods. Including food and cafes in Waterloo. atmosphere this hangout is uptown and if four people share a conservatory in Cambridge transportation this outing The is always a good place to be. Symposium my car it only costs each a ten called Wings of Paradise is you only costs about dollars. It's also fully licensed so favorite choice since they few dollars. Just don't for- a tropical escape and the can a cocktail or have a great patio in the you enjoy and home to thousands of exotic get your sunscreen

Food for Thought

of Zeke's The atmosphere mousse, it looked delicious how long-. Though the plate similar the in the is very to count- picture. When our was covered in chocolate other casual restau- arrived less dessert we were sauce, upon inspection it

in town like forward did not rants Johnny looking to sweet take long for my Fiasco's and Crabby Joe's. satisfaction. companion and I to notice

The restaurant has lot of that a an added surprise was spacious booths, which was The cheesecake waiting. is nice, and the menu very To my horror I discov- was adorned with affordable for students. For ered that the cheesecake

decided tried and several of lunch I on spots was adorned with several true chicken fingers. advanced of mould. mould. Apparently, spots After The server was gracious getting a server to at Zeke's the cus- enough to substitute a remove the rancid cheese- rectified did I feel that fries I nor JESSICA MCLAUGHLIN caeser salad instead of tomer is expected cake actually had to an adequate apology was Student Life Editor at no extra charge. My com- request that the expired to pay for rotten given. panion had the pork skew- dessert be taken off my bill. fel- As a result both my ers served with rice and food. at Zeke's the I was hungry, I was looking Apparantly low diner and I have been Greek salad. Both meals customer is to for good food fast. What I expected pay turnedoff cheesecake forev- cost fewer than ten dol- However the experience for rotten food. I got was more than I was just hung afraid if I I of er. I'm were you lars each ahd were quite was more a worthy around for an additional asking for. This past week gag to Zeke's to would never go nightmare. Immediately I five minutes waiting for a my unfortunate freind and tasty. fuel on food, unless finish decided noticed that the cake had to and up you I decided to have lunch at To up we a manager come want to encounter lax hard if it had cus- Zeke's to indulge in some dessert. exterior, as explain, but eventually Feed and Fuel, a my tomer service and risk food N.Y. been alone in roadhouse like restaurant We selected a style sitting a companion and I gave up poisoning. Ewwww!!! cheesecake that was topped fridge (or worse yet unre- and left the restaurant. on King Street. with eclairs and cappuccino fridgerated) for who knows Never was this situation .. m ■■-m,

WW I 11 >W jJHk. 1 • _ f|PIJ

I I II ■ | - | I a WI0f&;

fe »Hk .^st,. JMHML^k *'«*!. Mfflj& ':' s»fc, If ■ifpfr"-' •■m«k. '••'•» '1 AB'

. 1 IMF hT

J

'■ '■ -■ -fe m-

' Si • V a|

jsjl^ *" —^^^ " :^'! '' >A- v • ''

'

''' I '

HWffn- Jf&i

•-^>:^ ;.- x g

hhhmhjdfl Features 9 Wfdnesday May 21 2003

A Postcard Passport to Trinidad

Paradise. A place of ideal beauty or loveliness. Located in the Caribbean Sea. Discussed by Siobhan Bhagwat.

his woodpile, names but they are truly The problem with paradise Pitch Lake, and Devil's stocking this attraction. The our own blend of recipes. often don't real- Wood Yard are a few named is that you just worldly truth is that the I once read that ize that it is paradise until places that are offered to mud volca- Trinidadians leave. Paradise for tourists in brochures. The rumblings were sing parang you me noes. that Spanish people will has always meant a beauti- last two need to be

never understand and eat ful tropical island that explained. ethnic foods that have wildlife First of all, refers never boasts gorgeous pitch existed in their home Of the to unrefined coun- and scenery. course asphalt. try. That may well be true possibility of lazing on a Trinidad boasts the largest since we tend to incorporate beach with friends is also natural Asphalt Lake in other cultures. other \ part of this package. the world; the only in / If this definition of para- natural lakes are California and dise is pretty close to your

then I lived in Venezuela. There are own, well, Amerindian paradise. It was a great various

experience except that my legends surrounding paradise included attending the lake. One is that tribe celebrat- school - let's just say that a once

the education system is less ed a victory by eat

than child friendly, but then ing humming'

child which were that's what every birds,

thinks. Once the hassles of believed to host

the of daily life enter your para- spirits

dise it becomes tainted. ancestors. As The if their Therefore, even you were punishment, the result living in this mythical place winged god opened is cul- it. earth and the lake a you won't recognize conjured ture that The paradise I speak of is to swallow the village. is nestled in the Caribbean Sea truly mixed.

- Trinidad. The island This is derived its name from

best seen Columbus' prayerfulness. when you

These vol- take a look at

canoes erupt our calendar, which, is filled randomly but pro-

vide a dramatic per- with holidays.

formance when they In fact we cele-

do. brate some part

We're not only a great of our history or religion at

place to see natural least once per month.

beauties. We celebrate our diversi-

ty: this means that we not only celebrate

and The Emancipation Day

Indian Arrival Day but we poor all celebrate Christmas, man Divali, Eid, Phagwa and the was

list goes on. Wishing some- so lost

one a Merry Christmas or that he Happy Divali is not consid- prayed ered politically incorrect, to the rather it's polite. Catholic Trinidad is full of wonder- Holy ful people - our history Trinity lends to the great diversity promising l cultural diversity in the to name the

first land he country

found in its

honour. As he

came to the

shores he

noticed three Though this leg-

hills and was end no longer sounds is immediately plausible, the lake quite reminded of his capable of "swallowing"

such as vehicles prayer. Thus we were objects named Trinidad (Spanish and also has no qualms it for Trinity) in honour of the of spitting out things found holy Trinity. The hills are has indigestible. leaves called the Trinity Hills. This includes

that were not to the

( c c < rf A T''U R%L lake's liking. These (BtE'A'UTY have been found

Trinidad boasts beautiful unharmed but com-

fauna and flora: over 600 pletely dry. lake does not different butterflies, over The

400 species of birds and function solely as a tourist 2300 species of flowering- attraction,

also source plants. Though it is not a but is a for the tourist destination - partly of income nation. According to because of the way the eco- of Trade and nomic system is built and the Ministry the Trinidad Lake The second partly because Tobago (its Industry, in dire need of Co. $3 attraction sister isle) is much more Asphalt exported is the Devil's Due to million worth of to romantic - Trinidad has pitch explanation British settlers, this diversity we than fifty countries in Woodyard. many natural attractions. more who believed the unearthly have developed our own The Maracas Waterfalls, 1998. Devil foods that we give ethnic rumblings to be the Caroni Bird Sanctuary, 10 Features Wednesday May 212003

More pretty postcardsfrom Trinidad

This led to the Mamaguy: To say things or Pot Hound: Usually refers great make musical instrument that T'tf'E V

election time. Guys some- Skylark: To make a joke of days it should come as no 'ftfCE (BE'A'UT'Y times to or a situation that we have made mamaguy girls something their Trinidad is a beautiful get on good that be serious. very many additions to English. may side. Sometimeish: island. One that offers visi- Some words have become Describes a wonderful moody or unpredictable tors a experience such a part of our lives that of the and person. enjoying sights we forget it's not truly a of island. Tabanca: In a love sick people the part of the wider language. late or state. Describes how some- The can start as Some of these include: day wish and one feels after being' as early as you

consist of visits to one of cheated on their Bacchanal: Describes a by attractions or loved one . our many noisy, party atmosphere but on a beach. It can In a con- relaxing with a, scandalous Tootoolbay:

fused state in a. end at massive lime (get- flavour. or a

daze because oi' together) or at a quiet Bamboozle: To con- love. Similar to restaurant. You can eat fuse or con with doubles Bazodee. local dishes such as smart talk.

or or crab and callaloo,

choose to be less adventur-

ous and have a meal that

at home. The you would eat. fast food same applies to

ri-ffE places you can choose

between Pizza. Hut or Pizza

r C U£l\lH'£ Boys. That' s the beauty of doesn't Language the island. It really

often leads to Art and matter where you come is to X in Trinidad we are from, Trinidad willing

offer renowned for our Carnival. you anything your

It the week- heart desires. It can be a lit- Bazoodee: always occurs tle bit of heaven and little Drunk, end before Ash Wednesday a

and it is a time when bit of hell but it is an unfor- giddy or lets loose. gettable place that will defi- shaken up. everyone nitely affect you in some Also head over

way. heels in love - as

in Tootoolbay.

Brakes: To avoid a

situationor hide from

someone. To back out

of a vulnerableor

uncomfortable position.

Butt: To get a Butt is to be

on the receiving' side of a Obzokee- Horn. To be cheated on by Something' your loved one. Usually fol- is lowed of that by a state Tabanca. unsightly in Confuffle: To intentionally

appearance. Out of confuse or make a fool of

someone. shape. Oh Geed!: An Coonoo-moonoo: One who is expres- sion used when there very foolish or acts as such. is offensive smell. Foofooloo: Someone who is an Overs: in a love-sick situation. Or To achieve another an extreme case of Tabanka. level of thinking Also refers to a person who better. To lets others walk all over usually

him. move on past a

trivial and into a Gallerying: Showing 1 off in supe- front of others. rior position. Peeong: Someone who is Galavanting: Going out or

addicted to some- travelling. Usually applies to thing. someone who is always going somewhere but not

necessarily for any particu-

lar reason.

A lot

of people

don costumes,

most are in bands,

and play mas (partici-

pate in street

v parades).

People dance

to the latest calyp-

soes - which dis- Forged from the love cuss everything of liberty, from In the \ politics to fires of hope and relationships. prayer, Our famed With boundless faith \ musical instru- in our destiny ment, the steel We solemnly declare. is often Side pan, by side we stand heard in the Islands of the blue \ background Caribben Sea,

and is just This our native land to We as likely pledge our lives to

Horn: Tc be showcased in thee. Here cheat on competitions. every creed and A of your lovea simplistic history race, the steel creation is Find one. To be pan's an equal place,

that it was invented a And unfaithful. by may Grod bless Trinidadian while he This can cause and our nation.

his friends were Here Tabanca ! just play- every creed and

ing- with a biscuit tin. In the find Maco/Macoshus: race, an equal One who likes to midst of their boredom place, mind other (what else can compel some- And peo- may God bless ple's business. one to drum on a tin) they our nation. discovered that certain

dented parts gave a very musical sound. International 11 Wednesday May 21 2003

Hostage crisis in Columbia

social and Columbian government perpetuates civil war: economic reforms necessary to subdue the FARC

Three to release the BRIAN D'SOUZA a military response." agreed many hold in Staff Writer hostages survived the res- hostages they for the hundreds cue attempt. exchange

From the failed rescue of FARC soldiers that have The 55-year-old civil war in

we can see the bru- been over the Colombia claimed more vic- mission, captured

tal nature of the civil war. However, Interior tims recently when the gov- years. The FARC commander's Minister FernandoLondono ernment attempted to res- rebel's order to kill the hostages rejected the cue hostages held by the not done in demands, saying that it is FARC-EP, a 15 000-member was something' but to trad- a moment of bloodlust, impossible justify strong guerrilla force that criminals, in the rather, was a cold, calculat- ing "common controls many areas ed choice designed to keep which is what members of countryside. On May 5, ten FARC for innocent executed the forces from the are, hostages were by government to their Colombian citizens who the Marxist Guerrillas dur- ever trying fight into rebel held territory have been kidnapped." ing the rescue, including a way former to seize hostages again. If In addition to the many state governor, a Contributed Photo the hadnot killed Colombian citizens and defense minister and eight guerrillas known as Sureshort would be Prisoners-of-War that the FARC leader Manuel Marulanda also soldiers. the hostages, they FARC The rebel commander are holding, they The Americans have captured beyond military enacting vital social and decided to have the were recently providing three American citizens aid and advisors to the economic reforms that help hostages executed when he privately contracted after their plane crashed in Colombian government. perpetuate the war. The end heard military helicopters the to heip fight the jungle. The Americans The strategic significance of the conflict will not come approach the camp. A pub- contracted Colombia out of from a renewed military the were privately to of keeping lic spokesperson for Columbian drug war help fight the Colombian rebel hands has more to do assault against the FARC, FARC defended the com- - in a can way they - in with the United States' neo- but from having mander's actions: "Guerrilla drug war a way they perhaps with the make need- viewed as merce- can be viewed as mercenar- colonial relationship government units have the moral obliga- be ies. Washington has provid- Latin America than it has to ed social and economic tion to save their own lives, naries. ed almost $2.5 billion in the do with keeping cocaine reforms that would make and protect, as far as possi- of America. the FARC's demands for last three years in a hope- and crack out ble, the lives and physical weak and the less battle against drug While public support for social revolution redun- well-being of the prisoners perceived as pro- would continue duction. the FARC is estimated to be dant. in their command," he said. government of it is the to mount such incursions Ultimately, American in the region 5%, "But in no event can they involvement in the conflict and forces to take into their corruption incompe- allow enemy space. is to escalate tence of the in without The rebels would have unlikely government away the prisoners

Pick it, pack it, fire it up...

Decriminalizing marijuana: a gateway

to more dangerous substances or

making life difficult for our

neighbours to the South

BRYN BOYCE ijuana face fines as opposed

International Editor to criminal charges. Many proponents of the new leg- islation feel that the current I recently had the opportu- criminal of nity to stroll through implications

are far too Frontier Town, a no-ques- possession

severe given the offense. tions-asked hippy camping Justice Minister, Martin xnecca on the edge of Grey Cauchon to County. The hazy May 2-4 hopes see pos-

session of 15 or less air had the summer party- grams

at all-time dealt with through a $100 goers an high dollar fine. The and the early spring original

amount thrown around was warmth saw the trees

about 20 sprout their first bvids. The 30 grams, or

euphoric atmosphere was joints. that Critics of the decriminal- lit up a notch by news ization that move to marijuana decriminaliza- say a decriminalize will lead to an tion may be on the horizon. in crime and No doubt that Canadian increase a of Prime Minister Jean greater acceptance drugs feel that Chretien's drawn out in general. Many Contributed Photo is awaits BC is said to be of the a 'gateway' A cannabis in British Columbia (above) harvesting. marijuana some farewell has helped power marijuana plant that encourages users most weed in North America. this new legislation. Since drug potent

to to harder, more announcing his decision to move up warned that North America. It has also ization the government is substances. Murray step back from the political dangerous snow- still wavering on the legis- such a move would produced Olympic Bush provoke in 2004, Chretien The landscape Gold lation. It has not yet been a negative American boarding Medalist, Administration has been has dropped some legacy- "We would have Ross tabled in Parliament, the response. Rebagliati. Most the most vocal critic of setting changes. the Chretien to respond. We would be Rebagliati, a 31-year old although gov- Liberal's David notably, Chretien has proposition. stated from Whistler, B.C. ernment assured the media to forced to," Murray hailing increased social Murray, right-hand man spending favour the will be without any recently came out in that legislation White House National specifying and ratified the the Kyoto introduced before recourse. It is however of decriminalization saying Protocol to control Drug Control Policy green- "It's leaves for thought that tighter border that, [marijuana] Parliament sum- house gas emissions. controls and intense becoming more socially mer recess. Whispers surrounding is becom- fear- "Marijuana bureaucracy could be part accepted now than it ever Canadian cynics the decriminalization of American hadbeen in the past. I think that Chretien, who claims to more socially of the response. of ing simple possession mari- smoked mari- Much of the American right now it's almost the have never It's juana circulated widely now. accepted of the times." is blind to the conse- concern stems from the sign juana, before Chretien even of the his of almost a sign belief that lax Canadian Rebagliati had quences defying announced his plans at an would increase the Nagano Olympic gold American demands. Some times/' policies April 30th fundraising din- flow of marijuana from medal stripped from him point to Iraq as an example ner. -Ross test back of what to Rebagliati, Olympic Canada to the U.S. after a drug came happens coun- At the fundraiser maintain 95% of British positive for marijuana in tries who seek to Gold Medalist Currently Chretien was quick to point their As shown Columbia's $6 billion mari- 1998. He later appealed the sovereignty. out that "we're not legaliz- in the recent Gulf War, a juana industry gets shipped International Olympic we're decriminaliz- ing it, decision and oid fashion liberatin' over the border. Committee's good Director, John Walters, ing it." of British Columbia is had his medal returned. is not outside the psyche accosted the Chretien gov- The Liberal's new plan thought to produce the Despite strong support American foreign policy. for would ernment considering see those caught decriminal- most potent insj?ij~ulbxi&. in for the move to decriminalization. with small amounts of mar- 12 International Wednesday May 21 2003

Who is winning the peace now?

The diffi- new Iraq: rebuilding a war-torn country proves cult as Cholera outbreaks threaten the population and Muslims demand more say in reconstruction

BRYN BOYCE tion was recently recalled

International Editor Lan Simpson, a WHO and replaced by retired spokesperson, announced diplomat Paul Bremer.

The anti-aircraft guns have that the spread of diseases Garner's recall was a

long subsided, Saddam like cholera are attributable result of his inability to "lack Hussein' statue has fallen to the of clean water achieve quick progress in off it's and lack of of pedestal as well as off a security." Iraq. Many the basic

CNN, and so far there is no "Cholera has a fatality needs that existed under

50 sign of any weapons of rate of percent if it is not Saddam have yet to be treated. This is restored in mass destruction (WMD). probably the Iraq. Not the Now that 24-hour most serious health least of which sanita- coverage concern are of in the war has subsided the Iraq right now," tion, electricity and securi-

question remains, how is explained Simpson. ty-

Iraq being rebuilt? Garner played poorly to The early days following "We ought to look in the media and fueled the the belief that the Americans war saw looting and vio- a mirror and Contributed Photo lence take to the streets. get are occupying Iraq as been the Toppling Saddam Hussein may have easy, but repairing The Bush administration and stick out to it. proud, opposed liberating has become task. damage a daunting was criticized for Garner attacked reporters allowing our chests and suck this for in and else- struction and fear that the crime to take place in a dwelling on his short- grows Iraq in our bellies and in of country it had just liberat- say comings in postwar Iraq where in the Middle East. people put places ed. 'Damn, we're and said, "We ought to look On May 19th, 10,000 Sunni power will not represent Now two in a mirror and get proud, and Shia Muslims marched them. nearing Americans.'" months after and stick out chests and Ahmad Chalabi was con- the war, many our peacefully through to the victed in 1992 a problems still face the fledg- -US General, Jay Garner suck in our bellies and say Baghdad protest by we're Americans.'" American and to Jordanian court for embez- ling country and its new 'Damn, occupation

creator. The treatment of cholera In an address to the demand that they receive zlement and fraud, but is On May Bth, the World is very difficult in condi- House International more say in the reconstruc- today he a major player

- Health Organization (WHO) tions like those in Iraq. Relations Committee, tion of Iraq. in the discussions sur- of the Bush the released a warning that Many the hospitals had Garner admitted that the Meanwhile, rounding new Iraqi

Iraq is facing a cholera cri- their equipment stolen or reconstruction effort "didn't administration announced government.

sis. The growing numbers damaged in the days follow- really have enough time to that it feels it would be These issues of security of the unwise to and democratic people that have con- ing Iraqi war. The hos- plan," and claimed that begin dabbling government firestorm of tracted the disease has pital workers confirm that security was difficult to with democracy until secu- have begun a basic services criticism aimed the raised concerns over the they cannot currently treat maintain given the large rity and are at

effectiveness of the the disease itself, only it's number of Special restored. Americans. The war was The Muslim American plan for a "New symptoms. Republican Guards that protestors won easily enough but so Next in line carried and ban- far the has been Iraq". on Iraq's have slipped into hiding in placards peace a

debilitating list of problems Iraq. ners that read, "No to the much tougher nut to crack. is security. General Jay The problems of security foreign administration." with Garner, the man sent to and order run deeper as Many Iraqis are upset American-led World oversee Iraq's reconstruc- anti-American sentiment the recon- Amsterdam Ankara

for some leverage as the leaving, saying only, I decade." The dollar sank 5% government has spread

European Union, the US believe deeply about against the dollar after the false stories that point to Watch affirmed and their President Bush realization Kirchner Japan as a man that French complicity with of Taiwan's support entry. and I believe deeply in his was going to take power. Saddam's regime. American

China has vetoed all previ- policies, but it's my time to The worries surrounding officials have called the

TAIWAN AND CHINA ous Taiwanese attempts at go." the formerly bankrupt charge baseless and said

entry. economy are not completely while there are a lot of ARGENTINA reasonable. $170 of In seeking observer status Despite points disagreement USA billion debt, in the UN's World Health Argentina has between them, "there is no Populist candi- and has Organization, Taiwan has presidential begun stabilizing campaign against the White House Press date, Nestor Kirchner is set surprised achiev- French." the sparked a conflict with many by Among exam- Ari Fleisher has to take in it without the of China. Taiwan has accused Secretary power Argentina ing help ples France has pointed to,

announced that he will and has raised some stirs the International issues of China of blocking WHO aid Monetary selling weapons to five resign from his position about the economic future. Fund. and lead- years ago killing 84 Iraq aiding Iraqi this July. Fleisher who The left Taiwanese children. leaning president ership escape through

became a mainstay on News has come out FRANCE are the most Taiwan, with a population strong Syria scathing. broadcasts the of 23 million, failed to throughout against corporate manipu- Secretary of State Colin Iraqi War said he wanted to lation and has attacked the The French is receive entry into the UN in government Powell summed it by stat-

leave the Bush administra- "groups and sectors of eco- incensed what it calls an that "the 1971 but is currently seek- by ing United States tion before the re-election nomic that benefited American smear campaign. and France ing entry to the WHO. The power have been in from recent SARS campaign begins. Fleisher unacceptable privi- French officials have for cover up in marriage counseling was equivocal in his reason the that the American 200 China has given Taiwan leges during past charged years."

NO COVER If 11PLmhSINNER SPECIAL

Wednesdays hip hop, REAL RETRO Thursday, alternative Fri Sat, Hip Hop & Top 40 Sunday 220 King St N Waterloo 725-4287 e-mail: [email protected]

lin until the end -does include effect of august not loEig weekend Sunday's Sports Wednesday May 21 2003 13

WLU hosts CIS all-star game

- football Stadium West Inaugural CIS East West game at University sees

defeat East 10-5; Laurier running back Derek Medler earns MVP honours

Medler finished DEREK IWANUK strong performances, espe- 4:57 to go in the second the game.

Sports Editor cially Shakell who had a quarter, giving the West a with 13 couple of quarterback hur- 10-2 lead over the East. 53 yards on carries,

ries for the West defense. The second half the but the touchdown Laurier sent five represen- saw 15-yard

defenses the was the key score tatives to the inaugural In a game dominated by dominating reception

the it sur- The West defense that blew the for - Football was a game open East West game defense, game. the West. that took place at prise to see an offensive came up huge time and time

named of the the but After the a hum- University Stadium on May player Player again during game, game,

Medler's first series than ble Medler commented on 10th, 2003. Game. none more important a in the second stand late in the being named MVP in front The game was an all-star was early goalline Laurier Athletics and was solid, but fourth The West's of his home crowd. contest pairing up the best quarter quarter. Derek Medler, WLU running back not as he stand took the "Being named MVP in players in University foot- overwhelming goalline and MVP carried for twelve wind out of the sails of the this is an honour con- game ball across Canada. The yards. game

and a forced fumble sidering the calibre of play- West, consisting of players East, The 2003 Laurier foot- 3 that is out here. All from Ontario to British inten- with only minutes ers you "The offensive ball season appears to be can do is on to in the was play your game Columbia went cap- remaining game out on the , in opinion, starting right sity, my final nail in the coffin. and for the the score of the hope best, keep ture victory by foot after a dismal 2002 the wasn't as as After the Laurier pounding upthe middle and 10 - in due to an high game, Medler 5, part year. being named defensive lineman Justin hope for the best. Its just an exceptional performance by defense. It seemed MVP is surely a good start honour with the defense Shakell commented on the playing the West's and by for the Golden Hawks as were as they defensive both calibre of these athletes." Laurier's back, though intensity on top running they head into a new foot- of ball. "It was full the intensity Derek Medler, who was also fired sides the Although with pretty up." ball season a new of out from start to finish. We of the game was high on the named the Player the coach, returning injured -MVP Derek Medler defensive Medler Game. are all athletes here who side, com- players and a new sense of we're mented the lack of inten- Other like to compete so all on representatives rebirth for a once proud for We "The offen- from the Golden Hawks' His second series was a giving 110% sure. sity offensively. football program. of he that's all that counts." sive intensity, in opin- were defen- perfect example why won, my football squad With returning impact ion, it wasn't as as the sive linemen Josh was a selection for team The defensive intensity high players such as Medler, defense. It seemed Justin West. Medler worked his was a constant throughout as Alexander and Shakell and Pyear, the 2003 it Shakell and defensive backs way up the field and capped the game, but was though they were pretty football season looks bright. that's off the drive with a Medler's offensive produc- fired but typical lan Logan and Connor 15-yard up, of defense." touchdown reception with tion that was the talk after Healey. Each player had any

of one win and seventeen Laurier kicker drafted by defeats. White has spent CFL the past two seasons as Laurier's punter, Ed SARS 1, an assistant coach with Becker, has been drafted the women's volleyball by the Montreal Sports team. Alouettes in the 2003 CFL College Draft. Toronto 0 Meanwhile, men's rugby Becker was selected by has hired Josh Windsor the Grey Cup champions to resurrect the team. with the 53rd and final

Windsor, a former OUA pick. New head coaches hired all-star for the than contract and die of Laurier has hired Sports University of Waterloo, Becker was the second SARS. Only 14 people have replacement coaches for in Canada will attempt to improve kicker selected in the Editor died of SARS the men's volleyball and the squad from its poor draft and the only kicker since the disease has come men's rugby teams. 1-5 record in 2002. from a Canadian to this country. Now think picked Shayne White will now university. Last season, Derek about the car accidents in head the struggling vol- Becker averaged a solid Iwanuk the last month; they leyball team who last 39.8 have far exceeded fatal- yards per punt. any year limped to a record ities that SARS could bring In a recent article on and yet the media seem ESPN.com, all-star short- fairly quiet when it comes stop Alex Rodriguez to the idea of road fatali- olaimed that he was staying ties. I have never heard a in his hotel room on a three news broadcast that pro- game road trip the Texas fessed staying away from a Rangers took to Toronto at Toronto Blue Jays game Wish could live the end of April. In his you because of the risk of get- interview, he said simply, "If ting into a car accident on I'll in you need me, be my the 401. room." Other Rangers play- The Toronto sports in Residence ers expressed their con- Again? scene and travel industry cerns about the SARS situa- is suffering tremendously tion in Toronto, despite over being assured by their team SARS, mainly because physicians that the risk of

of it is - the overexposure - Meal 4 month lease contracting SARS was min- plans getting in the media. For imal at best. - On-site - example, one night while Student community laundry Personally, I find Alex watching a Tampa Bay Rodriguez,s statement iron- - Minutes from UW/WLU Flexible move in/out - Devil Rays broadcast on ic, since its coming from Fox Net, the Sports - controlled On-site - someone who represents a Democratically pub (Weavers' Arms) announcer for the Devil state with one of the high- Rays commented that the est murder rates in the hotel the Devil Rays were N 0rth United and also States, a OPEN FOR TOURS: staying in was only run- |\ BD? A I state where it is still legal to a n d staff ning at a 20% capaci- carry a gun in a holster. In In the broadcast, \ - ty. same © 8:30 4:30 fact, you are probably more pm he also stated that Jays likely to get shot walking starting pitcher Tanyon down in - the street at night Office Monday Friday I Strutze had an auto- of Dallas, than you are con- graphed Mats Sundin SARS while walk- tracting - next to Noon 4:00 hockey stick "right pm ing down Yonge St. One his SARS mask." Cute. But would think that with the reality is that this is Rodriguez's salary - 250 the type of negative press million dollars over 10 Toronto is receiving, not years - he might be able to only in the sports industry, rent the CDC for the few but in the arts, entertain- days when he's in Toronto. ment and tourism indus- Rodriguez is not the only tries. When will the media one to be blamed in the recognize how overexposed SARS situation in Toronto. SARS is, and concentrate The media have blown this on something more impor- SARS situation out of con- tant like the air pollution trol since it first hit the and smog problems that is news a few weeks ago. It Toronto have, which cause more likely that someone far more health problems will die in a car accident then SARS. Entertainment 14 Wednesday May 21 2003

Matrix: Reloaded revelations

Bigger, flashier but still can't fill the impossibly huge shoes of The Matrix

trilogy to be concluded by Matrix: Revolutions in

November, Matrix:

Reloaded continues the jolly

exploits of dark-clad heroes

Neo (Keanu Reeves),

Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity

(Carrie Anne Moss) as they

attempt to free humanity from Evil Sentient

Machines that use people CHRIS CLEMENS for their energy while Entertainment Editor minds doze, trapped in a

simulated reality. What is the Matrix? It's fairly obvious that This simple question was the Wachowski brothers the singular driving force were constantly thinking behind the intentionally "Bigger, Better, Faster" as

vague advertising cam- they constructed this film. paign for the film The Climatic one-on-one con- Matrix. Viewers not were frontations between various

told what the Matrix was, and the Matrix-escapees Contributed photo merely given this and query sinister are Agents replaced bullets out of town. "Whoa...l've done THIS crazy trick before!" Stopping with bare hands...get right the generous option to pay by giant brawls that border 15 bucks to the answer get whatever Ed to be a five hour on ludicrous as Neo bashes demigod with the power to d0w...0r wa11...0r complete by watching the movie. hundreds of Agent Smith fly like Superman and res- else is available. masterpiece. They ended up going in the And be clones in the face with a urrect like Jesus, his invul- For every strong new they may right. millions and for the most metal pole and bounces nerability removing a great addition to the Matrix uni- As much as I convey my part were equally in this generous around on their heads deal of the tension and sus- verse, there is an equalizing disappointment enough to recommend the review, Matrix: Reloaded Crouching Tiger-style. pense that drove the origi- detractor. Well portrayed film to others. nal film forward relentless- villains Agent Smith (Hugo still stands head and shoul- The Wachowski broth- ly. Amusing new characters Weaving) and the ders above the majority of Matrix: Reloaded ers, fledgling directors of like science fiction and the Merovingian, a Merovigian (Lambert modern

The Matrix, had created a adds so much to the pompous stereotypical Wilson) are weakened by martial arts movies com- science fiction phenomenon Frenchie who has the dirty their frustratingly ambigu- bined. The franchise's level mix that it that combined the of frequently 'depth' ability to program unsus- ous place within the plot. of sheer cultural popularity dorm-room pothead philos- to and forgets stop pecting women to give him The incredible action and influence makes it a ophizing ("Is this world balanced flick, of explore the charac- BJs in the ladies room, pro- sequences are by must-see regardless even real, dudes?") with vide a suitable level of defi- an unnecessarily lengthy inherent weaknesses in this ters it enough ass-kicking and eye and concepts ance but ultimately fade rave in Zion and a simulta- specific iteration of the to make it candy appealing introduces. into the background to neously terrible sex scene saga. Plot ambiguities can to else. Countless everyone make the room for the next bad involving equally be partially explained away parodies and shameless unemotional Neo and Slow-motion camera guy. by watching the Animatrix copies were made of the the rotation effects are back And maybe that's Trinity. As both characters series of short films avail- film's ush- cinematography, Matrix: Reloaded a of electronic able the internet and and, as expected, liberally problem. sport variety on in ering a new millennium and holes their rotate slowly around a vari- adds so much to the mix plugs on soon to be released on DVD. that was peppered with ety of cool visuals. It's that it frequently forgets to bodies, this part of the film What is The Matrix? imagery of slow-motion bul- reminded of exactly the progression stop and fully explore the me more a dis- Simple: one of the most let dodging and overblown characters and it fetish than influential films for that you would expect from concepts gusting porno a the jump kicks. The Matrix had a second Matrix movie and introduces. The protago- passionate union of souls. masses in recent memory. left its on indelibly stamp lacks the of cine- nists rush from locale to The twist end- What is Matrix: Reloaded? yet sense surprising North American culture. matic revolution that the locale, savagely beating ing is negated by the A promise, wedged Four years later Matrix: first film brought to the anyone that gets in their annoyingly anticlimactic amongst overwhelming Reloaded is left with the follow their "To concluded" table. Sure it rules, but it's way as they be that rips usage of sensationalistic, insurmountable task of fill- in sense of resolution wicked-awesome-rad just a more overblown ver- cues a desperate attempt any special the shoes of its ing prede- sion of what we've to their real-world from effects and action of seen save city your desperately scenes, cessor, unhappily situated Zion from for before. being eaten grasping fingers. a satisfactory conclusion to amidst a deafening roar of Wedged haphazardly breakfast by the machines. Hardcore Matrix fanboys be delivered shortly, and hype and impossibly high It's serious will amongst the jaw-dropping a given that any feverishly tell you that transference of hype and and advertised expectations character the film's loose ends action sequences, the plot development or are anticipation to Matrix: with a level of flash and progression of Matrix: philosophical discussion meant to be that way, that Revolutions for providing glamour that the original will Matrix: Reloaded Reloaded seems less inte- be quickly interrupted is merely the ultimate thrill. Let's film didn't need. A s gral to the experience than by an opponent kung-fu the first half of what the hope the Wachowski broth- the second part of a planned it should. Neo is now a kicking through a win- Wachowski brothers intend- ers can deliver.

Ear Candy

ences and the progression guestbook and you'll find the kind of structural per-

to their current sound with messages from only the sin- fection that only the best of

the same conviction and cerest of fans. Forget your manufactured bands can heartfeltness that for: comes typical pre-teen message hope a unique blend of in their music. You'd board unconventional across comments, arrange-

expect a band recently ment with a professional

signed to a label that boasts musical mix. Forget your typical sounding

a roster of some of the most Silverstein, however, are pre-teen message promising up and comers in not the type of band you'll the to fall for with industry present board comments, a split second themselves with an air of Silverstein's fans mir- listen. Each element of their

superiority. songs truly complements ror the and It seems that Burlington, Yet Victory Record's validity the next. It is their combi- Ontario's newest musical endeavor nation of hardcore Silverstein are a sensibility that the gripping

little of - unsure of where they foregoes talk rock-star moments with moving emo Saucy Contributed Photo band themselves stand. dom for discussion liter- and of They appear to be on melodies, course, torn betweenbeing a) a heroes (their namesake, stand for. their ability to pull it off in per- ary you've got a unique sound fectly put together, well Shel Silverstein), and the live performance that sets that is pre- surely responsible sented, mature band, and hometown bands they've Silverstein's fans mirror the them from the rest. for the band's b) apart progress thus a down and that Combine Silverstein's wonderfully naive, grown up alongside validity sensibility far - and will likely carry earth to bunch of (groups that have and con- the band themselves stand instrumen- them guys. well-developed throughout their

Read an interview with tinue to define the Ontario for. tation with the emotional career.

the and - band, you'll be punk scene bands like But don't be fooled by ups and downs of vocalist blown away by their sheer Grade, Boys Night Out, their unassuming media Shane Told's screaming to -Kat Lourenco and honesty passion. They Moneen, The Fullblast). front. When Broken is soft vocal lines, add a touch about their influ- Visit the band's online speak Easily Fixed is made up of of sweeping violin, and Classifieds 15 Wednesday May 21 2003

■■Hn Honey Bee and Petty Thief, The children in the park,

on out of sticky Thank for take I DlmS ifl Congrats getting you allowing me to "Thpv've Fflpy' meyve gotffot thptne Warrantwarrant" Mg-, situations and such |L.. _ jg committing such fine pictures. Too cute for crimes chocolatc bar station words p ' as gas T ti rh g m Korea and of = -If know what the above Bright Spacious if*?? thievery: lam veiy proud you you , , Three and four bedroom town both. Hello to SR to LHC. goodbye S.J.S. line is referencing, e-mail us at COmn e titive waees p " the homes in park-like setting. Freshly Howie Dis doing" e You invent something like inward V] CO If wh ove to work with l°l .°[ [email protected]. you can 4 appliances, extra park- fake number trick. rocking painted, .1, ... , sinking! It makes non-stop , children. DPosition available, , ,mme- accurately source the 1 quote, tog $25/spot, gas heat, 1/2 bath. possible...think about it man!

will win a room, full basement, 10 min you prize pack dining Fabulous Fabbro, C.A.H. com >or to walk University. Waterloo North. Sorr 'wasn't around much this consisting of CD's, bottled (5191 341-8399 y bed $1400+. 3 bedroom $400 pp/4 is that Internal Organs, week. How creepy security water and lollipops.

Call Ruby 747-1071 I'm are at but . camera?! Love ya lots. sorry you angry me, Please i* Your favourite roommate it's been a long night. stop Are you up to the task? Great Sublets revolting.

From May to Aug $250.00 a month Epidermis Nicole

r OI s °° P Next time ! "a Production Kats, Thanks for visiting. tiy ,< n Kitty ' tment. me usive " apai All " = Great work tonight ladies. Amy Kat. not to run into the parked ||[ II renova eca car...hehe. cutouts fantabulous and Miss your hugs. hush your are I | 1™ I "i™ Jenn I I I I!■ I I —— thanks for living in Trinidad Ik |\I [\| g\ I I I I • . Siobhan Kat. Meow. » « 112 D Sabbatical House for R ent Production Feline Why am I still here at 7 a.m.?! Oh Furnished 3 bedioom 5 level va, that's right niv co-editor left. sidesplit. garage, lenced yard, lire ! Waterloo Off Doid ! CampUS HOUSIfIg

1 Street r 4°o Albert Waterloo, ON -r bu, fc. , . idiopathic urticaria. Cant wa„wait 101 rFOTKtJ\ 1 out wt.»v„1 e still . . 1 vour chronic z a s Slo going to NY some day. smil- N2L 3V3 ' i Vl P breaking cabinets as violence Keep g(| , |||§S"gTj 2'|'2003 A 2004.on,iV ron no to August. $1,600.00 !■ « uncontrollable hives TFD vou're not second choice for brC e ds ing. T1 , -i, »i,te pi,.,, ,i,s Teh 519-747-7276 E 3 »5 -M-'m or email ■ SP^ 886-1309 „ ,

" Je C daWg "n 519-746-9851 [email protected]

We have 5 properties to choose from

■ ———- - Walking distance to Campus. —fhc coolest | |

managed. writers

| S^ltJe'ye^giou inclusive.

WIUSP office or email our ub * ->— A new Editor-in-Chief: mum Wmm%

"

•''*-0 - j -j- - . j [email protected] Imml Ul

The Cord Weekly The Waterloo Review

Keystone Yearbook WLU'er planner

Bluprint Magazine Clublaurier.ca

For more information or volunteer opportunities please

contact Laura Jardine at 884-0710 ext. 3565 or

[email protected] Arts 16 Wednesday May 21 2003

Wanna be a Canadian Idol?

who KATIE not to dom selection of 100 WEST is worth it! If hear their appearances. Because haps for the feedback. I'm Arts comments is I of rivals would be allowed to audi- Editor on my singing-, image so important, sure many my then to tion. After this nonsensical as told by Jenilee Halls at least to critique (and decided go casual-cool, would say the same thing. the 100 bro- possibly make fun of) the and wore a tie. Yes, I did The good, the bad, and process, were

turn down into nervous, It's May 13th, around 6:30 other early-morning hope- receive an Avril comment the awful all had their ken At the fuls. take the FM small of ten. a.m. I've been up all night, I a quick peek and, for the record, am just singing for KOOL groups of the there were going for hourly coffees around me- who am I kid- wondering when she truck and I wondered, was end day, I stare at- 999 unhappy divas sent and singing by the comput- ding, my competi- claimed this stylish piece of everyone here for the and win- er, all in the name of tion. Who showed as her own. As or here home, one lucky prepa- up? clothing singing, were they Let tell there Desiree Fox was ration for the eight o'clock me you, luck would have it the rain for the clothes, glamour, ner,

announced on the 6 o'clock audition call for the were just enough over- soon ruined our polished and possible recognition? She CKCO/CTV Canadian Idol. dressed divas in pleather and primped exteriors. Contestants who gen- news. sang my song: Will A on I Always The otherwise unevent- skirts and poofy hair. Why do so many young uinely wanted feedback Whitney's You and The Power of ful parking lot at the large portion of the"I made people jump at the chance their singing really didn't Love I she was kinda Waterloo Inn and my wardrobe just for today- to do this type of thing? get it. The judges were Love. guess Damn her. She Conference Centre has filled ers" with slashed shirts and There are certainly not recording' artists Alan Frew cute. won the event, with the ultimate up with contestants, and we coloured tights under parking lots full of students and Jamie Warren, Audrey blocked also made the for Wilson from Gemini Model of a guaranteed audi- are into well-organ- ripped jeans lining up symphony prize A Travel's from tion in Toronto on Thurday ized rows between metal trip. smattering of Non- performances and gallery Agency, Pete in KOOL and 29th. I'm blockades. Standing here as Carers, hoodies and openings. I'm a vocalist 105.3 FM, May already time, I'll be the rain drizzles down, the sweats, who seemed to here at Laurier and I do not CKCO's Nancy Richards. there. And next

to is thought flashes through think that what Canada consider myself be a The way things went down ready. Ah, performing

mind needed for 1000 such hard work. Travel my that this might really was a repre- Popstar. My reason were: young people and not be worth sentative from the couch the festivities under 25 were all handed a little it, then is gone attending was makeup, sleep,

a ran- cutthroat competition. immediately. Of course this potato culture also made for the experience, and per- number, followed by

Tracing the Road Less Travelled

Nancy Silcox explores the lives of fifty small town

dreamers who have followed their own unique paths

KATIE of have WEST all who a small- people who make it: very Arts Editor town Ontario background few skyrocket to the top.

in common. Take Edna Staebler's story,

Nancy Sileox's book Roads Roads of the Heart is a for instance. Now in her

253 of the Heart: Fifty people page true-life taste of late nineties, she recounts

who have followed their who did what, and who's her thoughts on wanting to format passion, tells the stories of doing what. The of be a writer. Through jobs

50 people who have fol- the book features 50 short and the domestic life,

lowed Robert Frost's road chapters that include per- Staebler persevered until

that is "the one less trav- sonal quotes and photo- she was finally reunited

elled." In his well-known graphs of the subjects. This with her passion: writing*. A

trav- makes it to Maclean's poem, Frost depicts a possible pick up article on sword eller at at the crossroads of and put down the book fishing eventually grew

path that branches off into intervals, allowing readers into a writing career that to read included two paths: one is well worn, easily one or twenty a Halifax-inspired

while the other is unknown. adventurous stories in a sit- book, published when

In choosing the latter, the ting. Staebler was ninety.

traveller finds that taking Roads of the Heart does In Roads of the Heart,

the road less travelled "lias not merely provide a glam- Silcox gives her subjects the

made ail the difference in orous snapshot of 'where spotlight, letting individual

the world.'' they are now' but it traces stories culminate into an

In the the foreword, author the progress of the hard overall expression of

Edna Staebler quotes a let- times, doubts, and twisting' passion of 50 small-town

ter from Siieox that reads: roads to success. Wade dreamers. The 1000 copies

the first mention that "I began a journey of my McElwain, were sent to the print- the own- to write a book on in book, was an aspiring" ers have been sold and the

second those born, raised or now law student who is now a printing has just successful Canadian for living* in the area west of come- been completed. Look it

Kitchener...who have fol- dian. A short clip notes at the WLU bookstore and Wade's first lowed unique paths in their disastrous per- read about people from

life." Big dreams do not formance: "his embarrassed where you are right now -

have to originate from big friend looked down at his maybe you'll be next. As

and soldiered Silcox has places, Silcox illus- shoes as Wade on, says, "Everyone

trates this with a look at and bombed-miserably." a story to tell -they only

fifty people from Sileox's reminds need to be asked to share Silcox's Roads of ranging accuracy Nancy the Heart: Fifty people who followed their to readers of the realities of it." ages seventeen ninety six passion.

Feature Photo

May's Feature Photo submitted by Dave Neate

During a trip to Southern border and had our pass- I Africa, was lucky enough ports stamped. The Basotho to visit the country of children in the picture are Lesotho. Landlocked within dressed for the typically South Lesotho is Africa, a cool climate, and stand

tiny country with a popula- a alongside Basotho Pony; a tion of The 2,177,062. pic- resilient, sure-footed breed ture was taken shortly after of horse used for travel on

the ascent to the country's non-paved roads.

Each month the Arts section will

feature a select photo as submitted by members of the Laurier and

surrounding community. Drop off submissions in the WLUSP office (attention: Arts Editor).