www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002 Q1

CYMK Q_COVERstory White Party Boasts All-Star Lineup of Events

By John Bryson Nightclub and Bars Convention in Orlando. so long as it stays interesting and not just a running a record label, attending clubs and News Editor In April 1999, she won first place in the drum loop.” major events and feeling everyone’s Now in its 18th year, the White Party at WPOW Power 96.5 spin off in Miami— Nov. 29 frustration after an occasional night of “off Vizcaya has grown from a singular fundraising securing a spot on a weekly radio show where From noon to sunset, the Heat Wave music,” Brett’s goal as a DJ is to play a event for Care she became a Hot Mix DJ Pool Party is being held at the Royal Palm consistent style, keeping in touch with current Resource—the largest showcasing her talents for the Crown Plaza Resort—the official White Party music, the crowd and including an occasional HIV/AIDS education, residents of South Florida. Hotel. Spinning will be DJ Keana. The resort retired anthem or old favorite in every set. care and treatment, Calagna has made a is located at 1545 Collins Ave. in Miami Beach. Tracy Young, a powerful fixture in the research and support name for herself by infusing Heat Wave DJ Keana is a protégé of DJ Miami music scene, was chosen to compile organization in Florida— her signature long overlays, Warna Gluck and has been a member of New the annual White Party CD for this year’s into a series of awe- fierce sampling and seamless York City’s For the Record pool since 1996. event. With her popular of songs by inspiring parties that looping to create a style of her She got her first break as a DJ in February , Cyndi Lauper, Stevie Nicks, organizers claim has an own. 1996, making a guest appearance at Enigma Shakira and Pink—among many others— economic windfall of $10 The Victory Party is from in West Palm Beach. Her first dominating the to $15 million for the 11pm to 5am and will be held at residency was at the Break that airwaves nationwide, Miami area. the China Grill, 404 Washington June, a popular Chelsea hangout. she has solidified her This year’s schedule DJ DeMarko Ave., Miami Beach. Later that night, from 8pm status as a leading features events at some of Also on the same night to 10pm, the Miami Light Project innovator of South Florida’s trendiest nightclubs and from 9pm to 2:30am, SIN-Fetish Leather will present the event Come Out progressive house venues and a lineup of DJs that are a virtual Fantasy will be at the Sea Monster in Fort Laughing at the Lincoln music. who’s who in the music industry. Lauderdale with DJ Mark D’Aleo—Florida Theater, located at 541 Lincoln White Dreams is With White Party now in full swing, the Mr. Drummer 2000—providing the tunes. Road in Miami Beach. scheduled for 9pm to remaining events promise to be a spectacular The main event on this 6am. The Seaquarium array of music-driven events that excite the Nov. 28 Friday is White Dreams at the is located at 4400 senses and arouse the mind. The White Stars party will be held from Miami Seaquarium. A Mark Rickenbacker Remaining events on the schedule and 9pm to 5am, and DJ Roland Belmares will spin Baker, Johnny Chisholm and Causeway on Key the DJs performing those events include: the sounds for what promises to be one of Jeffrey Sanker event, this Biscayne. the more exciting and visually stimulating dynamic trio is well-known for Dj Escape Also being held Nov. 27 parties on the schedule of events. the dazzling spectacles they from 9pm to 3am is The Wh ite Knights VIP Cocktail Asked to describe his current sound, have produced in years past. the Samba Tease , reception, showcasing the new Dolce & Belmares offers his usual blend of genuine For this nine-hour dance marathon, Brett featuring DJ Alex H. This event, produced Gabbana Spring/Summer Collection, is being humility, with a pinch of the kind of clever Henrichsen and Tracy Young will crank up by Yesi Leon, Alison Burgos and Carmen held at the Delano Hotel, 1865 Collins Ave. in secrecy you can expect from most the volume and flood your senses with a Benard, is being held at Club Steel, 5922 S. Miami Beach from 8pm to 10:30pm. professional DJs. “It’s hard for me to single powerful mix of house and trance. Dixie Hwy. in South Miami. That event will be followed by the Vi ctor y out any one particular style of music,” Working by day as a marketing specialist Party, with accomplished DJ Alyson Calagna Belmares said. “There are many elements for IBM, Brett spent nights in clubs and Nov. 30 providing the groove. In 1998, Calagna won from different genres that move me, and if it record stores watching and learning from top The partying kick into high gear as the second place in the DDK spin off in Atlanta, moves me, it helps me to move the audience. DJs and listening to his favorite style of White Party at Vizcaya is only a day away. Georgia, and had a seat on the panel for the But I definitely favor a housier, tribal sound music: high energy, vocal and progressive Starting off the day on Saturday is the party dance. After years of “on-the-job training” See WHITE PARTY on next page

Q2 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002

CYMK Q_COVERstory WHITE PARTY from page Q2 Most DJ’s first exposure to music does fashioned experimental productions into her allowing him to effortlessly bridge the gap White Journey, an event being held at Club not include the study of a classical sets since the beginning of the millennium. between multiple genres of music and Maze in South Beach. With internationally instrument, but James Anderson was an Susan’s philosophy about playing records generations of listeners. known DJ Lydia Prim energizing the crowd, accomplished violinist for more than 12 years is simple: create a full journey from beginning Though Lehman is known as the Latin this event promises to get your blood before he ever set foot in a DJ booth. James to end. She says, “In a way, its like sex. You From Manhattan , this current Los Angeles pumping at 8am and will grew up in Neeheh, have the flirt, the tease, the foreplay, the climax resident has taken the Circuit World by Storm. go on until noon. Wisconsin listening to and the cuddle.” Although Manny has been at the turntables Lydia Prim may be everything from ‘The DJ Francesca again mans the wheels of off-and-on for more than ten years, it’s only the name forming on Supremes’ to ‘The Smiths.’ steel to provide the sounds for WET – A Girl’s recently with the mega-success such events every gay circuit boy’s Playing in the Wisconsin T-Dance, yet another event designed to as the 1999 Palm Springs White Party and lips these days, but Symphony has helped to provide recognition to the lesbian community’s Montreal’s Black and Blue Recovery Party she’s certainly no shape James’ love for presence at White Party. The event will be that Lehman has skyrocketed to DJ Stardom. newcomer to the music and influenced his held at the Shelborne Beach Resort at 1801 He currently holds residencies at NYC’s turntables. Her style is mixing style. James’ DJ’ing Collins Avenue from 2 pm to 7 pm. TWILO, Miami’s CROBAR, and LA’s definitely all her own; sets are often met with From 6:30pm to 11:30pm the waiting ends FACTORY. Manny’s sound is a high-octane incorporating a soulful thunderous applause from – DJ Monty Q and DJ Dale Rozman will blend of aggressive, soulful house infused blend of tribal beats, the crowds on the entertain the guests of Care Resource at The with distinct Latin/Tribal beats, a direct progressive trance and dancefloor below. 18th Annual White Party at Vizcaya. The product of his Puerto Rican upbringing in the perfectly timed This year, White Party plush atmosphere of the Vizcaya Museum the barrios of City’s Bronx. His anthemic vocals—all organizers did something and Gardens – located at 3251 South Miami beats are relentless - music with balls - and with a distinctive, butch, Manny Lehman unprecedented in the Avenue – provides an excellent backdrop to always filled with surprises. drippy-sexy edge that is event’s history. A series of celebrate the efforts of South Florida’s largest pure Lydia. Her style parties, the first of which HIV/AIDS organization. Dec. 2 practically oozes sex. She was recently voted is Cirque Blanc at the Eden Roc Resort on Even as the event at Vizcaya is drawing to As its name implies, Monday’s 8am to The Circuit’s number one DJ in 2001, by “The Collins Avenue, have been scheduled to a close, both Crobar and Level in South Beach 4pm event Stay hopes to keep party-goers in Circuit Dog,” a national Internet forum of accommodate the growing lesbian contigent will already be in full swing for Noche Blanca. Miami for just one more day as Club Maze several thousand club-goers. of party-goers. This first event will be spun With Victor Calderone kicking things off for hosts the final morning party on the 18th Immediately following White Journey is by DJ Francesca and runs from 9 pm to 3 am. Crobar and both Manny Lehman and DJ Pride Annual White Party calendar. DJ Escape is the noon to sunset affair Muscle Beach. Held teaming up to man the turntables at Level, the slated to man this party for all eight hours as in the open air atmosphere of the 12th Street Dec. 1 music and pulse won’t stop until 5am. the party keeps on going for just a few more Beach, DJ David Knapp of Atlanta will get Finally, the day has arrived. All week If creativity could be bottled and sold, hours. your body moving as the day moves on to long, the various parties and events have Victor Calderone would be wealthy beyond Finally, at 10 pm on Monday night – more the evening’s high-powered parties. built the anticipation to a crescendo. But comprehension. The multi-talented master of than a week and a half after the festivities Come Out Laughing will be presented before the main event gets under way, a few musical manipulation has helped redefine the began – RELAX – The Official Closing Party by the Miami Light Project from 8 pm to 10 more parties remain to bring us all the way to role of the American DJ in recent years, and, will bring White Party to a close at Club Rain pm at the Lincoln Theater, located at 541 The White Party at Vizcaya. in the process, has amassed an impressive in South Beach. DJ RA will spin the event – Lincoln Road in Miami Beach. Kicking things off at 8am, only an hour array of artistic accomplishments. Equally which lasts until 5am Tuesday morning. The 10-hour dance marathon White Heat after the finish of White Heat, DJ Susan adept both in the studio and in front of live Music, Miami, White Party 2002 is begins at 9pm and will continue until the sun Morabito of PM Entertainment will keep the audiences, Victor is a veritable virtuoso who presented by Southern Wine and Spirits of rises on the morning of Dec. 1 at 7am. DJ temperature rising at White Dawn. has inspired, enthralled and entertained South Florida and boasts of a calendar of James Anderson and DJ Wayne G have been By combining her 20 years of DJ legions of sonic savvy devotees around the events that begins on November 22 and ends chosen to spin Club Maze and electrify its experience and extensive knowledge of music, world. His expertise and imagination on Dec. 2. For event updates, visit the official party-goers. Susan has re-edited dance tracks and transcend conventional expectations website at www.whiteparty.com.

www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002 Q3

CYMK Q_CLUBmaze.com New South Beach Club to Host White Party Event Maze Opens with a Bang By Jeffrey Wilkinson Mia mi-Dade Correspondent In an unprecedented move, the owners of Maze, a brand-new hot spot in South Beach, are presenting the first-ever free White Party Week event. The event is “White Journey,” and rather than charge admi ssi on to the party, Maze owners Stacy Gallowhur and Rich Van De Boom have made a substantial donation to Care Resource, the South Florida AIDS organization benefiting from the week’s parti es. “Our goal for Maze is to create a high-energy space without the attitude,” Van De Boom says. “This is a great opportunity for us to make a di fference and to show the community what we’re about.” Rich Van De Boom and Stacy While the address of Maze, 1290 18 Street at West Avenue, may Gallowhur, owners of Maze be recognizable—it was home to Salvation— Sunday morning dance pa rty debuting in Gallowhur and Van De Boom want to make December, the complex will feature the best su re there will be little room for comparisons talent from here and abroad. to the venue’s past lives. “Our whole concept is to do something The two have transformed the building fresh, that hasn’t been done before,” Gallowhur with new flooring, lighting, colors and sound, says. “We’re bringing in entertainers from all designed to emphasize the quality and Canada, Europe and South America.” comfort. The name refers to the three different Rize Satu rdays seems desti ned to put venues in the complex, each offering its own Maze on the radar screen of South Florida’s distinct area and vibe, yet coming together gay community. This night, a tribute to synergi s tically to ensure that patrons have a world-class DJs, will have guest stints by sens ory experience. Grammy Award-winning DJ/producer Peter The 16,000-square-foot dance space— Rauhofer, Tony Moran and Phil B, with DJ the anchor of the complex—is illuminated by Monty Q settling into a new monthly a new cutting-edge lighting system. Seven residency to spin his magic. nitrogen jets have been installed to help keep Gallowhur and Van De Boom are dance moves as cool as possible. A high- introducing themselves to the community in powered sound system completes the dance a bi g way. During the complex’s grand experience. opening weekend, which begins Friday, Nov. For casual chic, Maze offers Lime Bar, 29, Maze is playing host to three sanctioned an upscale, yet laid-back martini bar dripping White Party Week events. in Pr ada green. The Room rounds out the Maze kicks off its support of White Party complex’s areas. Designe d for spec ial events Week on Saturday , Nov. 30, wi th “White and live entertainment, its burgundy, Journey,” a morning party from 8am to 1pm, charcoal and silver motif has been used to with DJ Lydia Prim. create an el egant cabaret-meets-hi p-urban “White Journey,” the free event, takes lounge. Gallowhur says the room w ill also be place Nov. 30 as well. Later that Saturday night, open on nights that other areas of the complex in conjunction with the premiere of Rize fill to capacity. “When I designed the entire Saturdays, Maze continues with “White Heat,” sp ace, it was done to allow for its areas to featuring DJs Wayne G, of London, and New expand as wel l as sta nd alone,” he says. York City’s James Anderson. This event Gallowhur and Van De Boom are no includes a special performance by reigning strangers to the nightlif e scene. Van De Boom dance floor diva Celeda, whose latest hit, “The has 12 years of hands-on indus try experience Underground,” in collaboration with Peter as owner of two successful establishments Rauhofer, is purring in the number one slot on in Dallas, Spy Club and Lime. the Billboard dance charts. He moved to Miami in June 2001, to be Maze ends White Party Week on with Gallowhur, who he had met while Monday, Dec. 2, with “Stay,” from 9am to vacationing on South Beach. Gallowhur 1pm. DJ Escape will be at the turntables for brings a strong sense of the local market and this morning party, doing his part to make community, having moved to Miami with his sure the crowd won’t want to go home. family over 13 years ago. For Gallowhur and Van De Boom, the most Their understanding of the South beach important part of their venture is making sure scene i s ref l ected i n M aze’s l i neup of weekl y Maze is always original and entertaining. “We parties. From Funktion Fridays, a journey into don’t want to get into a rut,” Gallowhur says. progressive dance music, with acclaimed DJs “We want to constantly reinvent ourselves.” such as Paul Oakenfold and the Chemical For more information, call Brothers, to the Breakfast Club, a marathon 305.534.9975, or visit www.clubmaze.com.

Q4 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002

CYMK Q_CULTURALevents

Monday, November 25: Among the Gently Sunday, December 1: Noche Blanca @ Mad – Lecture and discussion with author Nicholas Crobar - Dance to DJ Victor Calderone at Crobar Basbanes from 7 – 9pm at the Main Library. Call Nightclub from 10pm - 5am. http://careresource.org/ 954.357.7401 for information and to register. whiteparty/venues.cfm. Wednesday, November 27: White Knights VIP Sponsor Reception - The kick-off event of Live Theatre and Dance the White Party week of events when Care Resource Through December 1: Urban Cowboy - honors its sponsors, donors and VIP’s with an elegant Don’t miss the world premiere of this line-dancin’, evening of food, fashion and fabulous people. Fashion boot-scootin’, bronco-bustin’, Broadway-bound show by Dolce & Gabbana and a live performance blockbuster. Set in Gilley’s bar, you’ll be tapping by Bambi and her Big-Boy Band. 8 - 10:30pm at your toes as the party gets underway to great tunes The Blue Door in the Delano Hotel. http:// like Lookin’ for Love in All the Wrong Places and careresource.org/whiteparty/venues.cfm. Could I Have This Dance for the Rest of My Life. Wednesday, November 27: Victory Party Coconut Grove Playhouse, 3500 Main Highway, - Dance in one of South Beach’s chicest hotspots, Coconut Grove. For information and tickets call China Grill, all night with Alyson Calagna’s masterful 305.442.2662. mixing. Meet beautiful people and start White Party Through December 8: The Lion King - week off victoriously! Dress-stylish. 11pm - 5am Winner of the 1998 Tony Award for Best Musical, at China Grill. http://careresource.org/whiteparty/ The Lion King is a breathtaking spectacle venues.cfm. miraculously brought to life by a cast of over 40 Wednesday, November 27: Leather and actors. Broward Center for the Performing Arts, Fetish Fantasy - Live out your wildest fantasies at 201 Southwest Fifth Avenue. For information and Sin II: The Second Coming - a Leather and Fetish tickets call 954.462.0222 or 1.800.564.9539. Fantasy. Care Resource and M.S.M. Productions Through December 8: Fifth of July - Lanford invites you to explore the sins of your fantasies and Wilson’s Broadway Hit is a profoundly moving and desires with Leather/Fetish demonstrations as well often hilarious play about a group of sixties idealists as many of your local, and state title holders. 9pm dealing with the end of an era. Performances are - 2am at Sea Monster. http://careresource.org/ Fr idays and Saturdays at 8pm and Sundays at 2pm at whiteparty/venues.cfm. the Fort Lauderdale Children’s Theatre, 640 N. Thursday, November 28: Thanksgiving Andrews Avenue, Fort Lauderdale. (Please note: This Dinner - The Gay and Lesbian Community Center is not a children’s show.) Tickets are $20 and $10 of South Florida is hosting a Non Alcoholic PotLuck w/student ID. For tickets and information call Thanksgiving Dinner from 3 – 7pm. Anyone wishing 954.427.0784. to attend is asked to bring a side dish, a salad, or a Through December 8: The Shape of Things desert. All are welcome. For more information please – Performances of Neil LaBute’s controversial and call the center at 954.463.9005. successful play are Thursdays – Saturdays at 8pm Thursday, November 28: White Starz - and Sundays at 2 & 7pm. Gable Stage, 1200 Billboardlive’s spectacular sound system will show Anastasia Avenue, Coral Gables, 305.445.1119. off DJ Roland Belmares’ talent for spinning our Through January 19: Crazy for You – This world all night long. Be a dance star onstage or Gershwin musical comedy is the winner of three watch gorgeous people from atop the catwalk. 9pm Tony Awards. Stage Door Theatre, 8036 W. Sample - 5am at Billboardlive. http://careresource.org/ Road, Coral Springs. For performance times and whiteparty/venues.cfm. tickets call 954.344.7765. Friday, November 29: Samba - Latin dance Wednesday, November 27: Grand Ballet event with DJ Alex H. will spin salsa, Brazilian house, Folklorico of Mexico - Direct from Mexico! A meringue and more at this Women’s White Party full company of singers, dancers and musicians for event/$10. 9pm - 4am at Club Steel, 5922 South one performance only. 8pm at the Jackie Gleason Dixie Highway, Miami. Theatre, 1700 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach. www.kissthegirlproductions.com. Ticket prices are $50, $45, $40, $35 & $30. Friday, November 29: Heat Wave Pool Friday November 29: Come Out Laughing Party - Everyone get on your Speedo’s and jump in – One night of comedy featuring National comic the pool at the new Royal Palm Crowne Plaza sensation, Mimi Gonzalez and Jim David. $20 Resort, the official White Party Host Hotel. DJ advanced / $25 at the door. 8 -10pm at the Lincoln Keana will pump high-energy music for your Theatre, 541 Lincoln Road in South Beach, sunbathing, swimming, and gazing pleasure. Noon 305.673.3330. to sunset at the Royal Palm Crowne Plaza Resort. November 30 - December 22: Scrooge - In http://careresource.org/whiteparty/venues.cfm. this musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ beloved Friday, November 29: White Dreams - A story, the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and night of lights, lasers and live performances against Fu ture teach Ebenezer Scrooge the true meanings a backdrop of the Miami skyline with DJ Tracy of love, family and money through joyous song and Young. 9pm - 6am at Miami Seaquarium. http:// dance. Appropriate for all cultures and ages. careresource.org/whiteparty/venues.cfm. Saturdays & Sundays at 11am. All seats $8. Friday & Saturday, November 29 & 30: Hollywood Plalyhouse, 2640 Washington Street, Gay and Lesbian Wedding Seminar - Hear from Hollywood. For information or to purchase tickets gay and gay friendly Clergy about ceremony ideas call the Box Office: 954.922.0404. and learn how to hire the right professionals. 6:30 – 8:30pm at the Boca Dunes Country Club on Saturday, Location TBA for Friday. Call 954.563.2529 for Music information or go to www.suzyqpro.com for Saturday, November 30: Christmas & directions. $15 per couple. Romance - Ju mpstart your holiday celebration with Saturday, November 30: Cirque Blanc, an evening of music. Join legendary performer Jane Year of the Dragon – Enter a mystical world Olivor in a performance tailor made for the inspired by the orient featuring dramatic decor, romantic sentiments of the holiday season. 7:30pm geisha girls, dragons, drummers and live at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts, 201 performances. Featuring DJ F rancesca & a silent Southwest Fifth Avenue. For information and tickets auction. White attire requested. Admission is $25 in call 954.462.0222. advanced and $30 at the door. $50 VIP ticket. 9pm Saturday, November 30: Sunday Jazz - 3am at the Eden Rock Resort & Spa’s Grand Brunch - Enjoy gourmet brunch and entertainment Ballroom, 4525 Collins Avenue in Miami Beach. showcasing South Florida’s finest jazz musicians on Gay Male Friends Always Welcome. five stages, 11am - 2pm at the Riverwalk in www.kissthegirlproductions.com. Downtown Fort Lauderdale. Free. For information Saturday, November 30:Muscle Beach call the Ja zz Brunch Hotline 954.828.5985. Party - Dance all afternoon on the sand to White Party veteran spinmaster, DJ David Knapp. Noon Art Exhibitions - Sunset on the beach at Ocean Drive and 12th Through December 7: Time Sure Does Fly – Street. http://careresource.org/whiteparty/ Paintings, photographs and sculptures on exhibit Tuesdays venues.cfm. – Saturdays from 10am – 5pm at the Schacknow Musuem Saturday & Sunday, November 30 & of Fine Arts, 7080 NW 4th Street, Plantation. Free December 1: Fort Lauderdale Gun & Knife parking. Adults/$5, Children/$3. Free admission on Show – 9am – 5pm at the War Memorial Fr idays. For information call 954.583.5551. Auditorium, 800 NE 8th Street, Fort Lauderdale.12 Through January 5, 2003: You Look Beautiful & under free with an adult. For information call Like That – 71 black and white portraits by Seydou 954.761.5380. Keita and Malick Sidibe both before and after Mali’s Saturday & Sunday, November 30 & struggle for independence from France in 1960. Norton December 1: Downtown Thanksgiving Festival Museum of Art, 1451 S. Olive Avenue in West Palm of the Arts - Relax and enjoy shopping for Beach. For information call 561.832.5196. paintings, sculptures, fine ceramics and hand-made jewelry. There will be more than 200 national and international artists, live music and entertainment Radio and international food vendors. 10am - 5pm East The Norm Kent Show – He’s Back! of Old School Square and Pineapple Grove, NE and Interviews and commentary with Norm Kent, SE of 4th Avenue in downtown Delray Beach. weekday mornings at 8am on WFTL 1400 AM. www.artfestival.com/pubcalendar/week47a.htm. The Call-In Line is 1.877.644.1400. Sunday, December 1: The 18th Annual Issues Over the Rainbow - MarkyG hosts White Party at Vizcaya - The crown jewel of this gay and lesbian early morning talk show. Sunday AIDS fundraisers, the White Party celebrates its mornings at 7:25am on PARTY 93.1 FM. 18th anniversary at the Historic Vizcaya Museum www.Party931.com and Gardens. http://careresource.org/whiteparty/ venues.cfm. Television Sunday, December 1: Noche Blanca @ SoFla Q TV- Television for the alternative Level - Dance to DJ Manny Lehman at Level lifestyle. For information call 305.534.3975 or visit Nightclub from 10pm - 5am. http://careresource.org/ www.soflaqtv.com. whiteparty/venues.cfm. www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002 Q5

CYMK Heard It Through the Gayvine Queers, Quotes and Quips of Interest Laundry Bar, Bud Light Team Up Fat Girls have Big to Sponsor ‘The Mating Game’ Beef with Mickey D’s Modeled after the vintage Two teenagers with big ABC TV game show The Dating midsections have an even bigger Game, Bud Light and The beef with McDonald’s. Laundry Bar in Miami Beach have Their parents, on behalf of the teamed up to offer South Beach’s youths, have filed a class-action own version—The Mating lawsuit against the fast-food giant Game—which debuts on Nov. 26 saying the chain’s unhealthy meals and continues every Tuesday made them obese, which caused night. The show will be from 9 them to develop severe health problems, including heart disease. pm to midnight, providing a John Banzhaf, a George Washington University law professor who pioneered change from the typical South lawsuits against tobacco firms, is acting as an adviser on the case. Beach nightclub experience. He said children often are unable to resist the chain’s playgrounds, Happy Meals South Florida’s own quick- and toy promotions often tied to the release of popular movies. witted John Taylor will host the “Children clearly are not capable of making health-related decisions,” he said. show, and he promises to be a “McDonald’s tries to attract children and has an obligation to them.” saucy if not racy mediator. Taylor previously performed in the improvisational comedy Attorney Samuel Hirsch filed the suit in the New York Supreme Court in the Bronx troupe, “This is Pathetic,” and his voice can be heard all over America on radio and TV. in late August. Locally he does the weekend air shift for the top-rated 101.5 Lite FM and is the announcer The suit comes just weeks after he filed another suit against McDonald’s, Burger for the acclaimed South Florida TV production SoFla Q-TV. King, KFC and Wendy’s on behalf of a 270-pound maintenance worker. The format should come as no surprise to those familiar with the popular ABC show. The show will revolve around one contestant and three bachelors—bachelors who are Jewel Can’t Believe vying for the contestant to choose them as his perfect date. Dylan Doesn’t Want Her On one side of the set, the three bachelors must respond to questions asked by the “Obviously Bob Dylan is gay if he’s contestant situated on the opposite side of the set. The contestant c annot see any of the not inte rested in me,” said the artist Jewel, bachelors. The contestant will be given a certain amount of time to ask as many questions during a concert last week at the Performing as he can to the three bachelors. With many of the questions sure to be somewhat quirky Arts Center in Newark. She was talking in nature, audience input will be enco uraged. about her disappointment that Dylan had The winning bachelor and the contestant will subsequently be sent out to experience not made a pass at her in a dream she had what promoters claim will be their dream date, donated by a number of South Beach had. restaurants, theaters and travel agents. “I mean, look at me!” she went on. “We are so excited about hosting The Mating Game here at The Laundry Bar,” “Who would have guessed that Dylan is a owner Karen Olin says. “We have taken great steps to ensure an entertaining time for fag? That’s going to get me in trouble. It’s those in attendance. It’ll be very Hollywood in feeling, much like being in the audience of going to be in all the papers tomorrow.” the old game shows as they were a few years ago. Scary as it may seem, I’m sure there’ll Sure enough, the story was reported be lots of audience interaction.” the next day in The New York Post’s Page Would-be participants in the show may submit their e-mail request along with a Six column. recent photograph to [email protected] for consideration.

Q6 • www.Express GayNews .com • November 25, 2002

CYMK www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002 Q7

CYMK Q_THEATREre vie w Paul Tei plays Prancer, known as Cupid, who he refers to as two lesbians and a Hollywood, sort of the Sam Kinison of faggot. Kimble does well with the two Is Santa a Pervert? reindeer, who’s upset by all the attention paid understated roles, a hapless dad and loyal Is Santa a to Pervert?Rudolph and the depiction of reindeer in employee. And Mateo, in her torn jeans and Only His Reindeer Know for Sure, movies. Tei also plays Cupid, the only openly leather coat, is funny and scary as Blitzen. gay reindeer, who describes the big guy as a Azurdis gets to show her range in the and They’re Ready to Talk walking, talking, holly jolly sex crime. two most different roles, first shy and retiring By Mary Damiano scandal that threatens to ruin Christmas as Through these delightfully graphic, as Dancer, and then as the alluring Vixen, dolled Arts & Entertainment Editor we know it. Joe Kimble plays dual roles: lewd and ingenious monologues, a not-so- up in a black patent leather mini and fishnets. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and Dasher is a proud leader who just wants merry portrait of the North Pole is painted, Director Elena Maria Garcia keeps the comedy according to some of the bucks and does everyone to do their jobs, and Donner is and you’ll probably be looking at Santa and coming and keeps her actors on target. who pull his sleigh, he’s a reindeer-raping Rudolph’s dad, a failure who tries to justify his reindeer a little funny during this If you prefer your holidays more pervert. the mistakes he’s made. holiday season. naughty than nice, then the The Eight: That’s the premise of The Eight: Ivonne Azurdis plays both Dancer, a The actors pull out all the Reindeer Monologues is just the treat Reindeer Monologues, a raunchy, r ollicking Je wish reindeer who had to give up her ballet stops. Tei is known for his for you. good time, offering a hysterical take on the career, and Vixen, the center of the whole sexual explosive performances, and he’s The Eight: Reindeer alleged truth behind the whole Santa legend, harassment debate who doesn’t want to be having a great time here. And Monologues runs through Dec. and presented by the Imagine Stage known as the wench who stole Christmas. he’ll make you bust a gut 21 at the Blue Box Theatre at Company and the Hollywood Playhouse. Wendolynn Mateo is Blitzen, a militant, laughing, especially when he the Hollywood Playhouse, 2640 Through a series of monologues, a story of feminist riot-girl doe, dead set on a protest demonstrates antler sex or extols Washington St., Hollywood. perversion, sexual harassment and bestiality that will bring Christmas to a halt and expose the virtues of Santa’s whip. Showtimes are Thursdays and emerges, with everyone involved having their the truth. Jerry Seeger plays Comet as an ex- Seeger is funny in a dark Saturdays at 9pm and Fridays at say and taking a side. gang member, a young buck who way, representing the 11pm. Tickets are $10, cash only, and Eight of the most famous reindeer of all experienced a conversion through the homophobic Christian right, ready seating is on a first-come, first-served time speak about what they know about a benevolence of St. Nick. to blame everything on Blitzen, Vixen and basis.

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Q8 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002

CYMK www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002 Q9

CYMK Need_Wood? m4m4sex.com

By Charlene Lichtenstein For the week of 11/25/02 Part 3 / Water Enemas By Woody Miller Hey Woody! The Sun wends into optimistic Sagittarius. Did I say optimistic? No sooner I just read your column about the guy And obsessing over size is detrimental to does the Sun shine in Sag than it collides with volcanic Pluto. Dreams and who was insulted that someone on great sex. hopes either explode into reality or just explode. Will you eat the turkey or m4m4sex.com asked him how big his dick If you could read without moving your will the turkey eat you? Hey, either way, cousin! was. I couldn’t believe you agreed with him lips, moron, maybe you woul d’ve gotten to ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20) that it was so mehow undignified to answer a the end of the col umn where I tol d the reader, Don’t bite off more than you can chew as tempting as it is. Pluto conjuncts sexual questi on on a website “You weren’ t in a romantic the Sun and turns cherry bombs into nuclear explosions. Change the global devoted to getting people rest au rant mooning over landscape but avoid a scorched earth policy. Detonate cherries in the comfort of your own home. hooked up. You two sound like your lover, babe. You were a couple of pussies. If you’re in a site that mi ght as well TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21) on a website looking for sex be called Sexual heat i s high so set the oven on broil and see who eats. But be don’t be surprised if someone “suckmydick.com.” So discerning in your choice of lovers, gay Bull; Pluto crushes the Sun and sk ips questions about your while I share your val ues turns a poor choice into the date from hell. Take the slow route. Most prefer a sl ow, stead y hand anyway. membership a nd instead asks and principles, you might about your member. Giving out want to be a little more GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) your dimensions does not flexible when you’re in Queer Twins ache for a mate and Sun in Sag enables you to connect with mean giving away your Dick Central. so meone special. But as Pluto conjuncts with the Sun, passion overshadows good gay sense. Don’t be led down a primrose path. All give and no take dignity. So I sta nd by my makes friendly Gemini a putz. No one can take away original nuanced answer, an ything from you unless you which was not to dwell on CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23) give it away. Woody, if you si ze. Most of us don’t Be careful of climbing on that organizational chart unprepared, pink Crab; pussies want to cuddle want to have sex with an Pl uto conjunct the Sun accelerates the speed from a jaunt to a dash. Also, avoi d overdoing it in the exercise department. You overwork the wrong instead of f uck, log on to a site like MSN or organ; we want to have sex with a man. Unless body part. Who needs a slim jim? somethi ng. If you go into a site that says it’s you. Then we’d be more than happy with “Man for Man for sex,” make sure that you’re the or gan, whosever it is. LEO (JULY 24 - AUGUST 23) MAN enough to know where you’re at Pr oud Lions hop on the Pa rty Central train. Hop on carefully, pal; Pluto conjunct the Sun tosses you out at the next station. How sad to trudge back mentally and emotionally, as opposed to Hey, Woody! with your tail between your legs. Take things slowly and who knows where sul k ing out of a chat after some strange and I’ve just recently come out and really your tail will wind up? sudden urge of morality suddenly makes need a guy up my ass soon but hesitate you pee shy. because I want to make sure I’m clean. VIRGO (AUGUST 24 - SEPTEMBER 23) Outside is no problem, but what’s the best Sun in happy Sag shines in your home life. But when Pluto conjuncts the Sun —I know a fuck when I’m fucking him a minor home project could turn major. This also goes for any latent family way to make sure I’m clean on the inside? issu es . Hold off on tete a tetes until after the 10th. Then speak proudly, Dear Fuck: —Can¹t wait queer Vi rgo. Don’t try to out-w ood me, you meat- LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23) st arved nympho. You’re ca lling ME a pussy? Dear Can’t: Chatty gay Libras find that their words have uncontrollable power and The guy who thinks alcohol and drugs You really need a guy up your ass soon? fran kness when Sun enters Sag and conjuncts Pluto. It is an anvil rather than a should be used as thigh-openers? The guy Be sure to use that line next time you’re at diplomatic feather duster. Heck, sometimes you have to shout it Out to get heard! who thinks the perfect date is sex first and the bar. With any luck you’ll be saying it to then if you still like the guy, you take him out the guy who wrote the first letter. You guys SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22) to dinner? The guy are perf ect f or each other. Be sure Think your finances are under control? Think again queer Scorp! Sun who speaks eight to ask hi m how big his dick is and conjunct Pluto acts like a lunatic spendthrift wreaking havoc on your best languages and can’t if he says an ything less than 10 laid balance sheet. D on’t risk more than you can afford to lose but also keep say “No” in any of inches, throw your drink in his in mind that life is too short to skimp. them ? The guy who face. SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22) fibs so much to get laid The best way to get yourself The jolly Sun in your own proud sign encourages gay Archers to get Out he’s got business cards clean i s to admi ni ster a water ther e and make a name for themselves. However the Pluto/ Sun conjunction that say “Professional enema. Do not use anything but could give you the name “Schmuck”. Avoid change for the sake of change, Liar?” plain lukewa rm water. No soap, no unless it’s your underwear. I don’t think so. cleanser, no peroxide and, for CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20) Ther e’s nothing wrong God’s sakes, no coffee. Anything Sun in optimistic Sag conjunct Pluto catapults you Out of your dank closet, with wanti ng a bit of other than water will irritate your read y or not. Set sail in the vast ocean of opportunity. Get involved with a dignity in the process rectum. Always use a sof t anal great gay charity or community cause. Pile up those good karma points in time for the new year. of procuring man- syringe. Unless y ou lubricate it meat—especi al l y, well, don’t us e a hard pl asti c tip to AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19) when the process you’re advocating reduces inse rt the en em a because it could cause small Sun in friendly Sag makes your personal goals in sync with the group men to rubble. The fear of not “measuring tears. dynamic. But Pluto conjunct Sun leads you to social circles that become engulfing whirlpools. Reassess your position Aqueerius. Is it time to strike a up” is a constant battle for a lot of men. I new pose? Prone?? won’t advocate anything that doesn’t Need Wood? Ask Woody how to enhance the sexual well-being of gay men. spice up your sex life. E-mail him at PISCES (FEBRUARY 20 - MARCH 20) [email protected]. You have a loud, proud opportunity to demand your professional due. Think before you bleat, Guppie. It would be a shame to get noticed by the big bosses for being an carp. Pluto shakes up the landscape. You may wind up on top of the heap. Let’s hope it’s not the scrap heap...

© 2002 MADAM LICHTENSTEIN, LLC., All Rights Reserved.For Entertainment Purposes Only. Check out her si te www.AccessNewAge.com/Stargayzer for eg reet ings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. Her book “HerScopes; A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.

Q10 • www.Expres s GayNews .com • Novem ber 25, 2002

CYMK Pumping It Up with Maximum_Volume New Album Releases Reviews by Mary Damiano Tori Amos: ‘Scarlet’s Walk’ (Epic) The latest CD by Tori Amos is a concept album about one woman’s journey across America. Scarlet’s Walk was born from Amos’s reaction to the Sept. 11 attacks, written while on a cross-country tour. Amos’s path in creating the album is even detailed in a map of the United States, which shows where each song was written. The spirit of America—in all its kitchy, quirky, seedy glory—is the heart and soul of Scarlet’s Walk. But what’s also evident is the indomitable spirit of America and her people, which Amos captures. Fans of Tori Amos will not be disappointed by the 18 songs on this CD. Tori’s voice is as clear as ever, and she sings with heartbreaking honesty. “Your Cloud” is a beautiful, 1. Los e Yourself_Eminem erotic love song, while “A Sorta Fairy Tale” is a nice ode to lovers met on the road. “Wednesday” is an odd mix of pop and theatricality, and “I Can’t See New York” is a haunting piece 2. Die Another Day_Madonna that evokes the terror of devastation and feeling of being lost. 3. Work It_Missy”Misdemeanor”Elliott Scarlet’s Walk is part travelogue and part journey of self-discovery, which all adds up to a masterful collection. 4. Like I Love You_Justin Timberlake 5. Luv U Better_LL Cool J Kenny Loggins: 6. Game Of Love_Santana Feat. Michelle Branch ‘The Essential Kenny Loggins’ 7. Dile mma_Nelly Featuring Kelly Rowland (Columbia/Legacy) Kenny Loggins has had a lot of different incarnations. From sensitive 8. Underneath It All_No Doubt feat. Lady Saw singer/songwriter to hard-driving movie theme song king, Loggins boasts 9. A Moment Like This _Kelly Clarkson a versatility that not many others can claim. The Essential Kenny Loggins shows Loggins’ range as well as his music’s evolution. The 35 songs in 10. Sk8er Boy_Avril Lavigne the two-disc set are arranged chronologically, so listeners can see the growth of Loggins’ music. Earlier songs feature more piano orchestration, the middle stuff is heavy on the percussion and rhythms, and the more Nikki Nite Y100 • Miami100.7 recent work is a combination of the two. Midday’s 10am-2pm • Monday Thru Friday All the hits are here—including his breakthrough pairing with Jim Messina on “Your Mama Don’t Dance” and his duet with Stevie Nicks, “Whenever I Call You Friend.” www.Y100.Miami.Com Loggins is also responsible for one of the best songs ever written about becoming a dad, the lovely NikkiNite@Expre ssGayNews.com “Danny’s Song,” as well as a charming ode to childhood, “House at Pooh Corner.” Another thing about Th e Essential Kenny Loggins is that when you see the list of all the songs, you realize just what a powerhouse Loggins is. Just look at his movie theme songs—“I’m Alright” from Caddyshack, “Footloose” and “Danger Zone” from Top Gun—all anthems that still sound great. Readonline The songs on Th e Essential Kenny Loggins sound just as good as they ever did. With a collection like this, be prepared to take several strolls down memory lane. www.OURweeklynews.com

www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002 Q11

CYMK Q12 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • November 25, 2002

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