Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Fall 10-30-2009

Volume 45 - Issue 07 - Friday, October 30, 2009

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 45 - Issue 07 - Friday, October 30, 2009" (2009). The Rose Thorn Archive. 109. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/109

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. T HE R OSE T HORN R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA FRIDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2009 ROSE-HULMAN.EDU/THORN/ VOLUME 45, ISSUE 7 Alternative engineering News Briefs Alex Mullans background, By Alex Mullans Staff Writer but they also use their n Wednesday, Oc- interper- Sparks through tober 28, experi- sonal skills O enced Rose-Hul- to work with stimulus man students were given a consum- President Barack Obama announced rather counterintuitive piece ers. When Wednesday that $3.4 billion of the $787 of advice regarding their job describing billion economic stimulus package will be searches: “If your reason for what a sales dedicated to grants and funds to increase working is the money, then engineer the reliability of the United States electri- that’s the right answer [in does, Som- cal grid. The massive power outage that an interview] as far as we’re mer noted shut down much of the northeast United concerned.” Most students that they States and parts of Canada in August 2003 would think that interview- worked with is o ered by supporters as proof that the ers might want to hear a mo- customers to nation’s grid needs  xing. Currently, the tivation as something like fit a TRANE monies are to be used to create a “smart” “because I want to save the product to grid, where power is regulated and rerout- environment” or “because the custom- ed through the network, like the Internet I love [insert major here],” er’s needs. “backbone” does already. In addition, the rather than the desire for For stu- buzzword “jobs” has been thrown around, cold, hard cash. Dave Som- dents in- with advocates of the plan noting that it mer, District Sales Manager terested in will generate many new jobs in the energy for the TRANE Indiana Com- a sales en- sector. mercial Sales Office, thinks gineering Alex Mullans / Rose Thorn differently. job, “we’re He should; he’s a sales not that in- Dave Sommer, District Sales Manager for the TRANE Indiana Commercial Sales Windows 7 engineer. Thursday’s Alter- terested in O ce, gives a talk on a career in sales engineering. Utlizing skills in sales and native Engineering Careers the GPA. marketing, sales engineering is a career often overlooked by undergraduates. released to presentation was sponsored The fact by TRANE, and Sommer that you’ve outside the classroom in a pleased for a student to find positive reviews spent an hour giving a pre- earned a degree from a place leadership capacity, with that they were not interested sentation about the sales en- like Rose-Hulman says that Tuesday marked the release of Win- emphasis on the leadership. in sales engineering as they gineering field. you’re passionate about the dows 7, Microsoft’s successor to Win- As an additional incentive would be for that student to For many Rose students, material and that you can dows Vista. In the week since, it has be- for the position, Sommer love the position. sales may be a career that tackle huge projects,” Som- come clear that Microsoft has produced noted that sales engineers The presentation con- doesn’t seem to “belong” mer said. What does inter- a winner. The new OS has overtaken sev- on average make six figures tained points that were valid here; we’re engineers, not lib- est him in the application eral Harry Potter books as the all-time (“and the first digit’s not a for all Rose students, regard- eral arts or business majors. and hiring process is still number 1 presale item on Amazon.com, one!”) and get to travel all less of major. Sales engineer- Sommer corrected this mis- somewhat similar to what and even the CEO of Canonical (dis- over the world. In addition, ing might just be the right conception during his pre- one might expect from other tributor for the competing Linux-based Sommer said that future career for some students, as sentation by heavily empha- companies. He suggested OS Ubuntu) notes that “it’s a substantial sales engineers should con- it allows the opportunity to sizing that sales engineers that students become in- improvement on the past.” While Win- sider an internship, noting use engineering while “living still use their engineering volved in organizations dows 7 has encountered some issues that TRANE would be just as outside the cubicle farm.” with compatibility as well as in some of Microsoft’s student distribution chan- nels, some 83% of people polled on the Students raise money for village tech blog Gizmodo had positive feed- back for the new OS, reporting that their Tim Ekl get some funds.” known as a “baety.” This baety, clean, safe water, and problems Windows 7 experience has been “good Photo Editor Kirchner and EWB were at- like many others, lacks ready associated with water quality or better”. tempting to raise money for an access to electricity, clean wa- are very bad problems there. ne good fundraiser upcoming trip to the Domini- ter, and reliable medical care— We’re hoping to see if there’s Long commutes deserves another. can Republic, where a handful luxuries that most of the rest of any way to resolve that.” O That was the of Rose- the Do- While exact numbers weren’t during Bay Bridge theory, anyway, when Engi- Hulman minican available, Kirchner and EWB Just by seeing the closure neers Without Borders hosted E W B Republic sponsor John Aidoo, a civil en- a fundraiser at Applebee’s last mem- number of students, has. gineering professor, were both The San Francisco area depends on its Tuesday to raise money for bers will “ T h e optimistic about the success of bridges and tunnels to handle the thou- an upcoming project. The inspect I would say it was a Baety Re- the event. sands of commuters who  ow in and out of fundraiser was scheduled to a medi- lief Alli- “Just by seeing the number the city every day. Yet Caltrans o cials an- take advantage of the Give Up cal clinic success. ance has of students, I would say it was nounced Wednesday that the Bay Bridge, A Meal program, which saw in an come in a success,” Aidoo said. the sole link between Oakland and San many Rose-Hulman students impov- to pro- Though helpful, the fund- Francisco, would remain closed for at least forgo their on-campus eve- erished “-Dr. John Aidoo vide for raiser isn’t enough to cover the another few days. The cause of the closure ning meal. village their entire cost of the trip, which has was the break of two tie rods and a cross- “We  gured that since pretty and help medical been estimated at more than bar that were repaired over the Labor Day much everybody would be improve care in $100,000. The club isn’t giving weekend. A spokesman for Caltrans noted eating o campus anyway,” the quality of water available the form of a clinic; what they up, though; EWB members are that the original  x was tested to satisfacto- said Adam Kirchner, junior to the village’s residents. want EWB to do is look into the appealing to local communi- ry standards. To compensate for the bridge civil engineering major and The village, founded during water quality in that clinic,” ties and Rose-Hulman alumni closure, the Bay Area Rapid Transit system president of EWB, “It would be the era of the slave trade, is Kirchner said. “Right now the for donations, and plan to host added longer and more frequent trains to a good chance for us to get our centered on the production of people ”get water from rivers. another similar fundraiser at its rush-hour schedule. name out a little bit more and sugar cane, and is commonly They have no way of getting Fazoli’s in the near future. In this issue of the Rose Thorn... Scare your dad! Rose-Hulman It’s okay to be

NEWS OPINIONS vs. ISU single F

4 LIVING LIPSIDE 3 ENTERTAINMENT 6 Braaaaaaaains... Facebook 8 Experiencing engineering 5 7SPORTS

NEWS - PAGE 3 ENTERTAINMENT - PAGE 4 LIVING - PAGE 5 OPINIONS - PAGE 6 SPORTS - PAGE 7 8 PAGE - FLIPSIDE 2 Puzzles & Classifieds The Rose Thorn WordFind — Halloween Edition Movie Quote of the Week Instructions: By Andrew Klusman By Andrew Klusman Find the listed words in the WordFind below. They can run forward, Instructions: backwards, diagonal, backwards diagonally, up, and down. Solve the puzzle by deciphering the following quote and Halloween Trick or treat Monster Scary figure out from which song the quote is. Each letter repre- Pumpkin Apple cider Leaves Jack-o-lantern sents a different letter in the alphabet. Pie Grave Dracula Wolfman Haunting All Hallows Eve Frankenstein Hint (Solution = Crypto): Ghoul Mummy Costume A = Y B = S C = V R’OO UDE DU FX LCPRPEYFVC, R ZYFE EX P I F F R A N K E N S T E I N G E O P B _’______, ______J H P B J N C B F T L Y U I V X X D G H

H A U N T I N G F C O L Q I P E D R B D

Q L V E O R M F L O L R E F C B A D H X PEYI ENC QRPEYFVC / R’MC AXE YF REVN

Q L S Y I M I C J O R F Z B H V K U U A ______/_’______

R O A P P L E C I D E R V I E Q B C N J

F W Q B P K U Q K T N Y E Q O A J T H Z EX PVLYEVN, R FCCQ YPPRPEYFVC: L E C A V B B W H O T R S E V A E L B N ______, ______:

U E J A Q E F U A I R N Z F Q F I D H R E N Z S I W R X Y S W T N W Z E G T F E EXDVNY EXDVNY EXDVNY EXDVN KC, R H A O B A L U C A R D S R C V E I P R T ______, _ S C M A W I Z L H J B M L E N G H U Y N

H O G Q D J U J Q J G H H M A W S M L A ZYFFY SC QRLEI / ENLROO KC VNROO Z T A J M O N S T E R E Y T R T Y P J L

Q T P O H S A R X D M L S M Z K G K T O ______/______

P P B G K Y V V Y K C L A L M G M I R K

O W S U R C V F C O S T U M E U M N T C KC GDOGRO KC / VLCYEDLC XG ENC FRANE.

Y Z A A U C W O L F M A N Y X T M M F A ______/______. H H C A K Q D I I N N M F W R O P I U J Find the answers to all Rose Thorn puzzles at: W S X X E V E S W O L L A H L L A Y Z D http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Classifieds

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Editorial Staff The Rose Thorn Thorn Staff

Co-Editor in Chief Scott Gallmeier CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Staff Writers Eli Baca Co-Editor in Chief Andrew Klusman Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Matthew Bryant News Editor Noel Spurgeon Phone:(812)877-8255 Annie Bullock Entertainment Editor Ben Collins Fax: (812)877-8166 Andrew Ernster Living Editor Melissa Schwenk E-mail: [email protected] Mitchell Ishmael Alexander Mullans Opinions Editor Christine Price http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Sports Editor Tim Boyer Lindsey Saxton Humor Editor James Zhou Elliot Simon Co-Copy Editor Clint Thompson “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Hobey Tam Co-Copy Editor Carly Baehr by providing an accurate and J.P. Verkamp Photo Editor Tim Ekl dependable source for news and information.” Kurtis Zimmerman Layout Manager Cari Harper The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays first through ninth week each quarter.

Administrative Staff Cartoonist Carly Baehr

Advertising Manager Lindsey Saxton Business Manager Andrew Carlson Photographers Albert Mui Webmaster Tom W. Most Mike Reis Advisor Richard House Matt Vargo

The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. THREE DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Office (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, October 30, 2009 News 3 Secondary students Police arrest fewer this homecoming explore Rose robotics portionally,” Mercier said, in na and disorderly conduct. Nick Hendrick comparison to years past. On Saturday, Public Safety of- Alex Mullans around the room; some went in Indiana Statesman In comparison, last year, ISU ficers arrested a man for driving Staff Writer neat patterns, while others just police issued 12 citations and under the influence on Wabash went. Among the cacophony of As ISU students walk down Wa- made nine arrests throughout Avenue. Robotics is engineering. Robot- wheel actuators, various 8-bit bash Avenue each Homecoming, Homecoming weekend, accord- “The guy was passed out drunk ics is fun; therefore engineering renditions of Star Wars, , hitting every bar on their way to ing to a Statesman story pub- behind a pickup truck with the is fun. That’s the basic theme be- and Beethoven could be heard. Memorial Stadium, they do so in lished Oct. 31, 2008. Terre Haute motor running,” Mercier said. hind the Rose Explore Engineer- As the night drew to a close, two the presence of increased police police and Indiana State Excise ISU police officers were on ing program, and it’s a surefire of the instructors could be seen patrol. Typically, those students Police made five arrests that constant patrol for 48 hours, success. On Tuesday, 70 students making Darth Maul and Jabba keep officers busy. weekend, in addition to the 12. from 7 a.m. Friday to 7 a.m. Sun- from various middle and high the Hut follow each other around Not this year. As the law enforcement divi- day, Mercier said. In all, campus schools as far away as Indianapo- the track. No citations were issued or ar- sion of the Bureau of Alcohol, officers logged 310 work hours lis came to campus to experience As a recruiting tool, Explore rests made by ISU Police during Tobacco and Firearms, excise po- this weekend. some of the robotics projects Engineering seems to have hit Saturday morning’s Walk, said Bill lice specifically handles alcohol- During Homecoming week- typically seen by Rose students. pay dirt. One student noted that Mercier, director of Public Safety. related infractions. end, officers from the Terre Of the larger group, 20 students they “want[ed] one of those at However, two people were ar- Arrests made this weekend Haute Police Department, West came to Moench C111 and got to home now!” Others videotaped rested during the Walk by Terre by ISU Police were unrelated to Terre Haute Police Department work with CSSE 120 students on their robot’s “dance” so they Haute police, Mercier said. A call Homecoming activities, Mercier and Vigo County Sheriff’s Office programming the iRobot Create could show it to their friends to the police department for de- said. According to Public Safety’s assisted ISU Police, Mercier said. (essentially a Roomba with the and parents. The students were tails on those arrests was not im- Daily Crime Log, five arrests were Terre Haute police worked 14 vacuum bit stripped out). An- all smiles as they went back to mediately returned Tuesday. made, two of which were for pub- hours on patrol, Vigo County put other 20 went to Lego Robotics Myers to meet their parents. “If two people actually physi- lic intoxication. Arrests were also in 33 hours and West Terre Haute (organized by CSSE students and More events are scheduled to cally went to jail, that’s low pro- made for possession of marijua- logged 17 hours, he said. CSSE Professor David Mutchler), take place throughout the year, and the last 30 went to Learning and Rose students definitely About Chemistry, led by Sarah add to the fun of the experience! Erhart. Explore Engineering is one of Dalai Lama gives gift to center After a brief “mini-lecture” Rose’s primary efforts at getting Kevin Doran “The Buddhist canon is mas- teachings and commentaries,” about the basics of the robot, the more K-12 students interested in Indiana Daily Stu- sive,” said Heather Blair, assis- said the current abbot, the Vener- students were free to work on an science, engineering, and math- dent tant professor of East Asian Bud- able Arjia Rinpoche. “We are hon- instructor’s computer and “drive” ematics careers, and is led by dhism. “To have a copy is a really ored to have them in the temple.” the robot, or make it sing. By Fred Barry, head of the ECE de- Last week, a local Buddhist big deal.” Rinpoche is pleased to have the the end of the hour, the various partment, and Dale Long, direc- monastery received a unique gift. “The texts represent legitimacy texts and welcomes others to robots were dancing their way tor of News Services. The Tibetan Mongolian Bud- and authority for the temple. This visit the temple. “In our temple dhist Cultural Center received a is a very significant gesture,” Blair we have an interfaith alter where packagewhich contained more said. other religions are honored,” than 250 sacred texts of the Bud- TMBCC coordinator Lisa Mor- Rinpoche said. “We are always dhist canon. rison agreed with Blair. open for prayers and talks.” The texts, or pechas, donat- “It’s a very special gift because Rinpoche plans to host the ed are called the kangyur and no other monastery in the West Dalai Lama when he comes to tengyur, which talk about differ- has these,” Morrison said. “There Bloomington in May to give ent teachings about the Buddha. are layers and layers of informa- talks and teachings at the cen- The teachings are called the Three tion and teachings.” ter. Jewels – three things Buddhists The Dalai Lama promised to “We always invite him to give can take refuge in: the Buddha donate sacred texts during a visit talks,” Rinpoche said. “Because himself; the Dharma, the Bud- to Bloomington in 2007. he has become more popular, dha’s teachings; and the Sangha, “He said he was going to donate his schedule is busy and we the community of Buddhists. two very important books with have to work around it.” Football homecoming victory ends 33-game losing streak

Trever Fehrenbach 4) and Western Illinois (1-6, 0- had a five play, 38-yard drive that who finished with two rushing For the first time in the past Indiana Statesman 4) came down to one final play, was capped off by running back TDs and 160 yards on the ground two seasons, the players showed which was fitting because the Marva Carley bursting through scampered around 43 yards on up to the press conference with When Sycamore freshman de- competitive nature of the two the line for a five-yard TD putting the drive and completed the nail- smiles grinning like a kid who fensive back Andre Blackmon teams displayed Saturday. The WIU up 14-10 with 2:51 left in biting pass to Bryant Kent on 3rd had just scored a huge Christ- woke up Saturday morning, he rushing game for both teams was the third. The excitement in the and 8, with Kent issuing a first mas present and shared their may not have realized that with dominate as ISU pounded the crowd died down a little but the down by inches. With the crowd emotions. one interception, he would help for 240 yards, opposed to the fourth quarter remained. in a frenzy and history staring “It feels good to get the win the Sycamores bury a past filled 185 of WIU ISU still had trouble mov- the Sycamores in the face, the of- and get the monkey off our back, with embarrassment, coupled Early in the game, the ISU of- ing the ball, but the defense still fensive line knocked their assign- but we have to go back to work with pain and failure; that his fense struggled to gain any yard- held WIU in check and limiting ments off the ground and opened tomorrow and get ready for next final grasp onto the ball would age or put up any points, the lanes for Roberts, who week,” said sophomore defen- quickly evaporate the hanging once again putting the eventually punched into the sive tackle Rod Hardy. fog of a 33-game losing streak. All weight of the game on This was a good team ef- endzone with 4:12 left in the “You wont hear we have the he had to do was get down. the defense. Although fourth quarter. longest losing streak now, but it With six seconds left in the WIU’s running back Dre fort. We will savor it for a After a stalled drive by is time to get back to work, pre- game and the Sycamores fight- Gibbs busted out for 168 WIU, due to immense pres- pare and get better,” said Rob- ing to save 17-14 lead, Western yards on the ground, it little bit then it is back to sure and penetrating blitz- erts. Illinois quarterback Will Lunt was backed by the sec- work. ing by ISU’s defense, and The players were joyous and rolled to this left to throw up a ondary keeping quarter- then a subsequent unsuc- elated by their performance, but desperation heave. The ball float- back Will Lunt in check cessful attempt to run out because of the tutelage of Miles, ed straight up into the teeth of for 139 yards through the “-Coach Trent Miles the clock by ISU, WIU re- they know they will savor the the brisk October sky and came air and picking him off ceived the ball with 16 sec- win for a while, but move on to down into a crowd of blue and three times. onds and just two opportu- the next opponent. white jerseys, or better yet, Black- One of the intercep- nities to break the hearts of “I am thrilled for the players, mon’s inviting embrace. Game tions by safety Donye their passing ability. WIU finally 6,000+. But this was not SE the administration, the univer- over. Chaos and happiness soon McCleskey, late in the second managed to sustain a long drive Missouri. This was not Quincy. sity, the fans the town … but this flooded the newly installed Field quarter, stopped a long drive of into ISU territory. With 12:47 left This was ISU’s turn. It was their is our expectation level, I expect Turf as fans, alumni, former play- WIU on the nine-yard line. With in the fourth, WIU kicker Brian turn to bring elation to the for- this all the time and this is what I ers, band members, cheerleaders just four minutes and some Egan missed a 37-yard field” mer players, the fans, the stu- am shooting for every Saturday.” and yes, a few reporters, stormed change left, quarterback Ryan goal, leaving ISU down by three dents, the cheerleaders, and yes, Miles said. “I want to commend from the sidelines to celebrate a Roberts did what he does best-he and nothing but time left on the the reporters. my coaching staff, coaches Troy momentous occasion. ran-and didn’t stop until he was scoreboard. “My first thought was I was Walters and Shannon Jackson Players embraced. Coaches crossing the goal line 91-yards Eighty long yards is all that happy for our seniors,” head for calling a great game and I am shook hands. Fans and students later, a school record. With a 10- stood between the ISU and a de- coach Trent Miles said after his thrilled. This was a good team bounced around hugging strang- 7 lead at halftime, ISU seemed cisive TD. What happened on this first colligate coaching victory. effort. We will savor it for a little ers, high-fiving friends andto have the momentum on their game-winning, 8:35 drive was the “But I was also worried the fans bit then it is back to work” mobbed the players. For a mo- side. But the game was far from absolute evolution of the Syca- may have ran onto the field too The next task coming up when ment, everyone on the field was over. more offense. early. I was also so proud of our the no. 2 Salukis of Southern Il- part of the football team. During the second half of the The drive started on the Syca- former players that showed up. linois University kick off with the The back and forth tug-of-war game, each defense held the more 20 and turned into one I was happy for our administra- Sycamores at Memorial Stadium between Indiana State (1-7, 1- other offense in check until WIU gritty run after another. Roberts, tion.” at 12:05. 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn here are ombies in my music here are ombies in my comics en ollins the songs at least reach the same li aca ntertainment level of quality. This includes Staff Writer ditr Rise Against’s cover of “Making Christmas,” done in such a way On a scale of epicness, “Mar- As musicals go, very few have that it feels natural for the band vel ” is one of the top left as big an impression on our and the song, and KoRn’s cover of most epically beyond epic comic generation as “The Nightmare “Kidnap the Sandy Claws,” which storylines in history of zombie Before Christmas.” Many of us you need to hear to believe. The comics. Add Ash Williams from grew up with the lyrics at hand, shining star of the sung tracks is, the “” series, and “Mar- reveling in the eerily beautiful by far, Amy Lee’s “Sally’s Song,” a vel Zombies vs. Army of Dark- music supplied by Mr. Danny cover beyond believable quality ness” becomes a must-read for Elfman. For sixteen years, we and so in spirit with the song that any zombie comic fan. “Marvel have lived with the visuals and it almost demands to be consid- Zombies” is a ve-issue limited sounds of the original movie, not http://www.amazon.com/ ered on par with, if not better series that was published be- expecting anything to ever sur- As a side note, Polyphonic Spree than, the original version. tween December 2005 and April pass it, which is where “Night- is on this album as well; they will My favorite tracks from the 2006. Since, this mass zombie http://www.headinjurytheater.com/ mare Revisited” comes into play. leave you eeriely disturbed. album actually come from the hysteria spread there have been The album, a complete series of collection of music-only covers. a prequel, a crossover with “Army Many would wonder how a man covers inspired by the original of singers throughout the song The Yoshida Brothers (“Nabbed”) of Darkness,” and three sequels, named Ashley could cut a man in soundtrack, pays tribute to the and during the chorus. Manson, and Rodrigo y Gabriella (“Oo- with a new series called “Mar- half with a chainsaw. epic by including Danny Elfman however, sought to use his own gie Boogie’s Song”) were the two vel Zombies Return” being pub- and several rather well-known varying range and e ects work more recognizable names and, lished right now (this one follow- are some nasty twists to this one. groups. to try and hit the variety from the yes, their songs were the most ing events from “Marvel Zombies The art of the novel was also Probably the most staggering original ensemble. He succeeded dazzling tracks for the covers, ty- 2”). The series has been a suc- pretty much amazing. With rela- thing about this album is that in replicating and surpassing the ing for my favorite songs of the cess, but for those rabid undead tively unknown Fabiano Neves it includes such headliners as creepiness of the original, but album. The others fall in line for zombie fans, the “Army of Dark- and “Marvel Zombies” guru Ar- Marilyn Manson, All-American truly left me wanting more. As a close second, the leaders of ness” crossover takes the cake (or thur Suydam working together, Rejects, KoRn, and Rise Against Manson’s music embodies a rath- that group being the electronic brains, in this case). the pictures were downright singing their versions of the clas- er dark and brooding ambiance, version of “To the Rescue” by Originally published in 2007 in gnarly. Some of the two-page sic songs. Hype and big names Manson was probably one of the Datarock and the classical foil of association with Dynamite En- shots make the cuddly Marvel aside, standing on its own merit best choices for the song and it “Jack and Sally Montage” by the tertainment, “Marvel Zombies heroes become gruesome ear- as an album and a collection of was indeed a remarkable cover, Vitamin String Quartet. vs. The ” starts eating monsters—and it’s freak- covers, this album does deserve but it just su ers in comparison. To say this is an epic album is with Ash, who died in a previous ing awesome. When Hawkeye a great deal of praise, but it has I’d say that a handful of the a very true statement in that the issue of “Army of Darkness,” be- tears into the guy’s skull after a few questionable choices in songs (“Jack’s Lament” by All- variety and quality of work con- ing sent to a new reality in the rst stringing him up with ar- terms of the artists. The only is- American Rejects, “What’s This?” tained on it is fantastic. Going so Afterlife after the Sentry (zombie rows that are usually meant to sue that comes in even doing by Flyleaf, “Poor Jack” by Plain far to say that it is a perfect album patient zero!) begins killing the defend people, the art is bloody such a project is the unfortunate White T’s) su er from this same is an exaggeration, but it’s still dead. The two of them enter an excellent. The di erent covers for truth that it will probably never a iction, but more so in that fantastic. In addition, it has the alternate version of the Marvel the crossover are also amazingly surpass the source material. the bands chosen are not by any bonus of bringing the nostalgia Universe and mayhem ensues. horri c, and still funny to the av- Marilyn Manson’s version of measurable comparison as tal- of “Nightmare” back again in new Along the way, Ash receives a erage zombie fan. “This is Halloween,” the open- ented as singers as the wonderful form. prophecy warning him that “an While this “Marvel Zombies” ing lyrical piece of the movie, Elfman. Again, compared to the army of the dead will rise” and comic may not be the best of the also opens the album. A dark source material, it would seem Reviewer rating: 4.5 elephant that this world will fall. Ash con- series, it’s de nitely one of the and legitimately scary song, the impossible to surpass the qual- tinually tries to get the Marvel most fun. The “Marvel Zombie” song bene ts from the large cast ity of work, but I’d say several of heroes to help him stop the zom- freaks encounter a whole lot of bie apocalypse, but after many boomstick in this one, and Ash end up becoming zombies, he gets to use his chainsaw arm… here are ombies in my movies just tries to stay alive. Oh, and many times (geek-out!). “The the ever-deadly Army of Darkness” may have hy are there so many ombies‽ gets its Deadite on—booya! been (questionably) a B-movie John Layman (Xena, “Army  ick, but this cult classic clash the opening scene and credits behind her ear—played by Jesse of Darkness” comics) wrote the of the undead is really an awe- Hobe Ta with Metallica’s “For Whom the Eisenburg) as the vessels deliver- killer crossover very well, mak- some read and a solid comic. As Staff Writer Bell Tolls” in the background, I ing the script to the audience, it ing the legendary Marvel heroes a standalone book, it’s well put knew this movie was going to be was possibly one of the funniest, zombi ed versions of them- together, and readers don’t even When I am perusing a theater’s legit. Sorry, little devil, but the yet most compelling, hour-and-a- selves and keeping Ashley J. Wil- have to read the rest of the series menu of tickets and showtimes angel opened up a slug on your half experiences. Coupled with the liams his adorable hunki ed self. (though you are missing out). online, I always read into the tag- skeptical face and, after watching con artist sisters Wichita (Emma The one-liners from Ash gave the That said, if you haven’t seen line and quick overview of the another ve minutes, put another Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Marvel Zombie universe that ex- “Army of Darkness,” this comic movie’s baseline plot (what you one in it (Rule #2: Double Tap). Breslin), “Zombieland’s” plots and tra kick into legendary, and the will probably leave you squea- would nd on the back of a themes thickened and little zombie moments between mish. DVD box). However, I don’t was even more inter- the Avengers just tickled my zom- read reviews or other opin- esting to watch unfold. bie fancy. The writing was superb Reviewer rating: 5 elephants ions or spoilers. If it seems The best way to and the story was nail-bitingly legit, I drive to the Hamil- describe this movie pleasing—careful, readers: there ton 16 IMAX twenty min- is if the “Inglouri- utes prior to the opening ous Basterds” had a scene so I can get the best one night stand with seat in the house. It’s best “.” to see movies during the The consequent ill- week (no annoying adoles- begotten child foam- cents) late at night (no an- ing at the mouth at noying little kids) 4-6 days birth would be “Zom- after release (no overbear- bieland.” I believe no ing fans). You can choose http://www.sonyinsider.com more is needed to be your seats (middle row in said to inspire you to Emma Stone (Witchita) comes into this movie a year the back section is best), go see this picture. Music: Games: after being in “The House Bunny.” I think her career be secluded, bring a date if This movie will sur- has taken a step up. God decided to smile upon prise you if you have Creed 6 you for once, and enjoy the any doubts in your Full Circle (PS3, Xbox 360) piece of visual literature. Zombieland’s basic plot is like mind. If you are itching to see I go through this ritual every every other zombie movie’s plot — this movie already, you will not be time I watch an anticipated movie fast spreading virus turns a com- disappointed—I assure you. This Tegan and Sara Rachet & Clank: that I will review in this column. petent human race into a legion of movie is perfect date material, Sainthood A Crack in Time Going into “Zombieland,” I re- grotesque, snarling cannibals de- for a friends night out, or just if ally didn’t know what to think. scending upon a handful of survi- you’re bored and alone one night. (PS3) The little devil sitting on my right vors. However, unlike every other However, I do warn you. Before Los Lobos shoulder had the stereotypical zombie movie, it is fresh. Original. watching this movie, practice Rule Los Lobos DJ Hero skepticism—another human- More raw. And, more importantly, #1: Cardio before you go—your zombie movie with the world en- hilarious. With Tallahassee (rough muscles will seize up as you are goes Disney (PS3, Wii, Xbox 360) gulfed in foaming-at-the-mouth -necked southern muscle bent straining for air as you laugh un- madness/fake corn syrup-derived on nding the last Twinkie® on controllably. Wolfmother blood. However, the little angel Earth — played by Woody Harrel- saw potential – I wasn’t sure what son) and Columbus (uptight WoW Reviewer rating: 5 elephants Cosmic Egg (PS3, Xbox 360) kind of potential, but some mov- white boy with the dream of one ies surprise you. After watching day nally sweeping a girl’s hair Friday, October 30, 2009 Living 5 It’s OK to be single Melissa Schwenk why it’s OK to be single. Here are Living Editor a few of my favorites to help get you through the lonely nights. I have a friend who is in a re- My number one reason for be- lationship because he can be. A ing single: I want to go to Ger- relationship of convenience: one many next year. I have all kinds in which two single people sim- of crazy post-college plans and ply decided that even though goals that don’t necessarily in- they didn’t really know each oth- volve a man (mainly so I’m not er well or have similar interests, disappointed if the whole mar- they would try dating. I won’t say riage and kids thing doesn’t work I haven’t done this. Convenience out for me). I’m not at a point in isn’t necessarily a bad thing un- my life where I’m ready to settle less you are unhappy in the rela- down; I don’t see myself with tionship. children ever, let alone in five Rose-Hulman is the perfect years. If I can find a guy who likes breeding ground for these rela- crazy adventures and musicals, I tionships of might consider convenience keeping him due to the rel- around, but if atively small Like with tast- he even men- number of girls tions “settling and the large ing new foods, down,” I’m number of hor- running. mones. Like you don’t have Secondly, with new foods, contrary to you don’t have to try every re- popular be- to try every re- lief, there is a Guy Chriqui / Guest Photographer lationship that “ lot less drama lationship that Two single ladies pose with just one of the many people they’ve met during their hiatus from the dating presents itself in the single world. to you if you presents itself to lady’s life. In a find it unap- new relation- for homework, and don’t have to clubs and making time to hang lationships of convenience that pealing. I think you if you find it ship, there’s too make plans with the same person out afterwards. Rose-Hulman is make us unhappy. I read some- it’s a fine idea much guess- every weekend. filled with so many interesting where that a mature adult has to find some- unappealing. work. Does he Another great reason to be students that it’s easy to meet a had on average twelve relation- one to pass want to hang single is that you get to meet new friend every day. ships before settling into a suc- the time with, out but doesn’t so many new people. Think- I’m not trying to break up any cessful long-term relationship. but too many people think that have time? Or are you being dis- ing back, I’ve always met more couples or tell you that you have If you stay with someone just to if they aren’t in a relationship, missed from the position of sig- friends, both male and female, to grow up to be a cat lady if you have someone to call your own, their college career isn’t success- nificant other? Insecurity breeds when I’m single. I have more consider yourself a feminist (get you might miss the chance to ful. Since I like to claim member- tension and, in my case, passive time to hang out with people and a dog—they are more loving and meet someone really special. And ship in the closet feminist club, aggression.” When I’m single, I do more reason to reach out to them. do cool stuff). I just feel that it is when you meet that really special I’ve pondered the many reasons better on tests, have more time I also don’t feel guilty for going to time for us to give up those re- person, it’s OK to be taken.

Ladies’ Man home edition: Apple crisp Elliot Simon Staff Writer

Editor’s note: The Ladies’ Man is swamped with the wooing of la- dies this week, but he’s sent in this recipe adapted from a Food Net- work recipe that is sure to impress any lady. Try your hand at it and get ready to have the women swooning at your feet (try to catch them before they hit the ground).

Ingredients:

Filling: 5 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and sliced into small pieces ¼ cup oats 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour ½ cup light brown sugar 2 tablespoons maple syrup (no need to use the real thing) 1 tablespoon lemon juice

Topping: 1 cup all-purpose flour ½ cup light brown sugar ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon ¼ teaspoon salt 6 tablespoons chilled butter, cut into pieces ¼ cup oats

Preparation:

• Preheat oven to 350˚ F.

• Mix filling ingredients together and spread evenly into 9x13 inch pan.

• Mix flour, brown sugar, cinnamon and salt in a large bowl. Blend butter into the mixture until it forms pea-sized lumps; stir in oats and sprinkle mixture evenly over filling.

• Bake 35 to 40 minutes. Cool 10 minutes before serving. If de- sired, vanilla ice cream can be added on top.

• Depending on how big your pieces are, you can easily serve six to twelve people.

If you have a recipe you like or have something you’d like us to at- tempt to make (Ed. note: I really can’t bake; ask the staff), send it in. You might see it here. 6 Opinions The Rose Thorn Zombie musings SERiouSLy. Mark Minster indeed resemble a zombie, and I’ve heard it said that man is but I continued on my way to class, nine meals from anarchy. While I I’m not sure how many homi- a shallow, one-dimensional view with troubled thoughts. don’t think that in “20 years’ time lies have appeared in this spot, but of the Bible. When the Apostle The education we get from [we] will be standing waist-deep here’s one. Paul or the book of Leviticus Rose is top notch, world class, and in skeletons, in an arid post-nu- I’ve never understood the hostil- abominates particular acts, these Price top drawer, if you will forgive the clear wasteland, clubbing each ity some Christians have towards abominations belong to a specific repeated adjective. But what with other to death in a fight for the homosexuality. Maybe it’s more historical context. In each case, a ill students nearly bringing on a last remaining glass of water” accurate to say that I’ve heard the small minority, in danger of being zombie apocalypse, a poor econ- (Charlie Brooker, “Nightclubs antagonism enough to understand absorbed by a much larger culture, omy creating disenfranchised va- are Hell”), I know there’s a slight its casuistries and commonplaces, defined itself in opposition to the grant gangs comprised of former chance that one day I might wake but I’m certain that such antipathy mainstream. The Priestly writers Christine Price middle-managers that may very up in a world where drinkable is contrary to reason, contrary to of Leviticus sought to differentiate Opinions Editor well decide to go on nihilistic water is no longer delivered by the core of the Gospel, and con- ancient Israelites from the cultures rampages, and a super volcano pipes to multiple locations in my trary to the better angels of our na- that surrounded them, whose rites The other day, I saw a terrify- chilling under Yellowstone with domicile, and most of the knowl- ture. And so I don’t get it. included symbolic fertility mar- ing site, that made me realize how enough firepower to make every- edge of the world is no longer a As a Christian, why should I be riages and ritual prostitution. Paul dreadfully inadequate the educa- one’s lives significantly unpleas- click away. bothered by the idea of two men tried to maintain the delicate bal- tion provided by Rose-Hulman is. ant, it occurs to me that so much As engineers and scientists, it’s caring for each other, holding each ance of Jewish and Gentile Chris- It was morning. The sky was of our education relies on the our duty to bring a brighter, bet- other, finding joy in one another’s tians who argued about, among clear. Because of an unfortunate world as it is now. Perhaps it’s just ter future to humanity through eyes? If you’re offended or discom- other things, the Hellenistic prac- situation involving a lost shoe I because I’m a software engineer; technology. But it’s also our duty fited by that idea, your discomfort tice of pederasty. was a minute or two later than I after all, some of my mechanical to keep the gears of society from comes from somewhere other We are not in those historical would normally be, and thus the engineering friends have shown becoming destroyed. Because if than your faith. To claim otherwise contexts. The purpose of religion initial rush to class had subsided, a remarkable propensity for not us, who else? is the very definition of casuistry. is not to preserve historical con- and I walked in near solitude. Far medieval siege Hostility towards homosexual- texts. (Revere the baby, not the ahead of me, I noticed a man hav- weaponry (as ity is irrational. There is no ratio- bathwater.) So, since Christians in ing a coughing fit. Not just a few demonstrated nal threat to the survival of the America are far from being endan- light guffaws placed inelegantly by the lighting species, nor to the perpetuation gered by absorption—except, per- into his shoulder; no, this man of the bonfire). of cherished civic, religious or fa- haps, by laissez-faire economics was on the edge of the sidewalk, But when placed milial values and virtues. There is and libertarian individualism—it bent double over the grass. As I in a world bereft every threat, by contrast, to both makes no sense to treat history as walked through the still morning of Wikipedia, religion and culture when people theology in this way. It’s a confu- towards the apparently plague- arc welders, and fail to distinguish their personal sion, and a dangerous one. It lets ridden student, I couldn’t help but distillation col- aversions, fears, and ignorance personal feelings masquerade as think, “I feel like I’m in a zombie umns, how well from the alleged scriptural basis theological truth. movie.” would a Rose for such things. To say this plainly: If Christians crave a challenging It was exactly the sort of thing student survive? the contempt some Christians biblical ethics, one that cuts to the you would see in a zombie flick, The civils would have for homosexuality is psycho- core, here’s one that undergirds all right after an infection. A violent survive longer logical, not theological. The theo- other New Testament ones: Love full-body reaction to the contami- than the average logical justification comes later, the whole, wholly; love every- nant, followed swiftly by a turn person, I must secondarily. It is a misapplied mis- one, equally. That’s a transla- and a look that allows all onlook- admit. They at reading, and as such, is wrong. tion of what Jesus says—love God ers to know immediately: what- least know wa- To claim that homosexuality fully; love your neighbor as your- ever humanity was in this person ter + dirt = mud, is a sin is to misunderstand both self—which is itself a reference to before is not there now. and you can’t homosexuality and sin, a mis- Deuteronomy 6:4-9, the heart of I passed him, and saw a friend push rope. understanding that cheapens Jewish ethics, the Shema. It’s hard returning from class. In excited I sometimes the Gospel, making it a shield for to get more central than that, or tones I recounted the horrific can’t help but prejudices. To sin is to fall short. how that justifies contempt of any scene I had witnessed, and turned feel the world One mode of sin happens with in- kind. to point out the unfortunate stu- we have is frag- dividuals who—to put the matter If you want to abominate some- dent, only to find that he had ile. Not just the theologically— refuse the grace of thing and claim biblical, rational, transformed into a zombie. His natural world, who they were created to be. One’s and moral grounds for your hos- head was bent low, and with slow, but the social www.albrecht-durer.org sexuality is part of the grace of who tility, why not nurture a healthy staggering steps he was making constructs that one is created to be. Homosexual- contempt for usury, the charging When the pre-post-apocolypse comes, will you be his way towards the union. My make the world ity is not “against nature,” as any of exorbitant interest? That was a able to put your engineering skills to use? friend agreed that the guy did as we know it. introductory biology course will threat back in the day and it still show. Aquinas was wrong about is. APRs are through the roof. The that. Sexuality is part of who we rich profit from the poor, as ever. are created to be. There’s something that deserves The perils of Facebook This misunderstanding reflects abominating. Kurtis Zimmerman in their network, if not Staff Writer everyone with access to the website. That means Social media has taken the world by storm in the past anyone in your school few years. Name a living (or maybe even dead) celeb- network or geographic rity, and I’m willing to bet he/she has a Facebook page, network, for example, the a Twitter feed, and/or a YouTube channel. Heck, the major city near where you number of Facebook users has nearly surpassed the live, has access to those population of the United States. Most people enjoy pictures, videos, and oth- the news feed, the quick access to people around the er postings. Just like your world, and fun groups and pages. I can see how my words, they can be used out-of-state family members are doing in a few clicks against you by prospec- of the mouse or send a picture to my sister without tive employers, insurance the hassle of the postal service. Unfortunately, people companies, and so many www.facebook.com can also very easily broadcast their bad decisions via other incriminating atmo- Such a convenient tool for keeping in touch with friends and family. And stalking, of course. video sharing, photo albums, or perhaps even idiotic spheres. “tweets.” Facebook and other A couple years ago news media across the country social media outlets have featured the bully who thought to done a nice job of protecting their users from fraud and with one simple click. One night of bad decisions could bring a camera along with them when preying upon misuse of information, but they can never stop private in- become a few more nights in jail, a few years with a job, or smaller, easy victims. Glorified by their victories, these vestigators and dupe accounts from being used to extract the loss of respect of colleagues, friends, and perhaps even foolish bullies published their videos to YouTube and data quite easily. Take the case of the woman who filed as family members. Harsh? Yes. But it could very well happen were later identified and punished for their crimes. I an accident victim, collecting insurance money and work- to any one of us if we make rash decisions and spread them would never advocate bullying, but what kind of sense men’s compensation who unfortunately posted photos like wildfire across cyberspace. does it take to leave the camera at home? To just set it from her all-too-recent waterskiing competition. I say “un- So if you like reaping the benefits of the Internet’s fine down? Obviously the clear choice in the manner is to fortunately” only for her sake because it certainly serves her resources, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and others, be care- not beat anyone up at all, but why broadcast it to the right to be punished for her criminal actions. A piece of ad- ful. All of us have made poor decisions at some point, but world? There is very little glory in getting caught doing vice: never post proof of your wrongdoings on Facebook. the smartest people are those who choose to keep them something punishable. In fact, never willingly publish self-incriminating evidence to themselves. Sometimes we are deprived of that choice, Then there are those people who publish a lot of pictures for anyone’s viewing pleasure. Those photos that only your but if you have the ability to just keep what happened last on Facebook. An excessive amount, in fact. Photo albums “friends” can see are not nearly as private as you may think, weekend to yourself and a few friends, go ahead and delete include pictures at the soccer game; a few friends on the and that clever cup is not hiding anything. those incriminating pictures from your phone, wipe the beach; at a party, drinking underaged. One of those does With Twitter on the rise, taking over the social media videos from your digital camera, and start the week anew. not belong as a tasteful way of presenting yourself on Face- market, who knows what kind of offending material will If nothing else, be innocent from the perspective of your book. Most people do not understand the privacy settings be seen all over the world? News travels quickly via this network. Just consider the old adage: “I think [about my on Facebook and tend to blast these pictures to everyone medium, with material passing from one person to another decisions], therefore I am [a Facebook user].” Friday, October 30, 2009 Sports 7 Men’s basketball prepares for cross-town exhibition game with Indiana State Tim Boyer in the Missouri Valley [Confer- as we have had in years. How intercollegiate athletics, prior to “While too many college ath- Sports Editor ence]. … All that being said: there quickly they learn roles and how the separation of Division I, II letes take time off from the books are two baskets and one ball. We to do their job on the court will and III. Indiana State leads the to play ball, baseball players at For the first time since 1932, know what we need to do and if dictate our level of success. But Rose-Hulman Institute of the Rose-Hulman Fightin’ Engi- we do things the way we should the foundation is there.” Technology did just the neers will face the Indiana State we can have success and make Shaw also admitted this will opposite last week. Play- University Sycamores in men’s the game competitive. That is be a learning experience for him ing against cross-town ri- basketball this coming Tuesday, our intent.” as well as for the team. “This is val Indiana State in their November 3, in a cross-town ex- With only two seniors and a the first time I have coached a annual Mayor’s Cup game hibition match. For those who junior on this year’s team, one of team in this type of exhibition in Terre Haute, R-H en- are unfamiliar, Rose-Hulman is a which saw little playing time last game against a Division I oppo- joyed a 7-4 lead after three Division III school that common- year, Rose-Hulman is a young nent,” Shaw commented. “I have innings when designated ly plays schools that are small as team entering the contest with observed some of these games in hitter Mark Mayfield and well, while ISU is a Division I team the Sycamores. However, Shaw the past and have talked to a few two reserves abruptly that plays other big coaches who have experience departed; they were due name schools such at it. Mostly though, I am only back on campus for a as Purdue, Indiana worried about our progress as a mechanical engineer- University and But- team and how to use this experi- ing exam. Indiana State ler University. ence to make us better down the scored single runs in the The match-up road.” fourth and fifth. In the presents a coach- Lastly, when Shaw was asked sixth the Engineers lost ing challenge for if he thinks the atmosphere of two more players: Center the Rose-Hulman the Hulman Center will have an fielder James Yoakum and as they prepare effect on his players, he said he shortstop Alan Snedeker to take on a team doesn’t think it will be a factor. also had tests to take. Its that starts their “We are scheduled to practice ranks depleted, R-H still practices earlier in there on Monday to get a little hung on for a 7-6 win, the year and prac- more accustomed to the shoot- only the third for Division tices more often. ing environment, but guys usu- Justin Perry III Rose-Hulman against Rose-Hulman head ally adjust to that quite quickly,” Division I Indiana State coach Jim Shaw said Shaw. “Most of our guys since the Mayor’s Cup hopes to make the have played in large arenas at overall series 30-23 in men’s bas- series between the two began in game competitive some point in high school, so I ketball and the teams will meet 1973.” as opposed to a don’t think it will be a big deal. I for the first time since the Syca- But don’t feel too badly for the blow-out, which is don’t anticipate needing to have mores won 37-21 in the 1932 sea- 1986 Indiana State baseball team sometimes expect- Blake Knotts get on Spencer son finale. Rose-Hulman’s most —later that spring, Indiana State ed when a Division Rose-Hulman News Harlan’s shoulders and measure recent win in the series came in made its only trip to the NCAA III team plays a Di- the height of the rim to make the finale of the 1931 by Division I College World Series Jeff McCartney averaged 9.9 points per game and vision I team. the point that the court is the a 20-18. in school history by winning the was honorable mention all-HCAC in 2008-09. “We are going same like Norman Dale did in Interestingly, Rose-Hulman Mideast Regional and advancing into the game with Hoosiers. Although we may yell and Indiana State have never to Omaha. the mindset that we are going to doesn’t think it should be a fac- Rose-Hulman a few times into played in their current names— The Rose-Hulman Fightin’ En- play a very good team and have to tor. “I refuse to use inexperience the empty rafters before practice the games in 1932 were between gineers will tip-off against the In- play well to be successful,” Shaw or youth as an excuse to not suc- to hear our echo!” Rose Polytechnic and Indiana diana State University Sycamores said. “I think the game will be ceed,” he said. “Last week I heard As it turns out, this is not the Normal. Tuesday, November 3 at 7:05pm. very interesting from a basketball a comment attributed to John first time the Fightin’ Engineers However, the most famous Tickets to the game are available standpoint due to differing styles Wooden on his 99th birthday and Sycamores have met on the contest between the two schools through the Hulman Center Box and differing types of players. In- saying that inexperience with tal- basketball court, let alone in actually took place on the base- Office. diana State obviously has quality ent is a lot better than experience sports in general. Rose-Hulman ball field on March 25, 1986. The Division I athletes and have high without talent. I believe we have and Indiana State played quite following account ran in Sports Il- Kevin Lanke contributed hopes to be highly competitive as talented of a bunch of guys often during the early years of lustrated: to this article Three Rose teams clinch con- Engineer Scoreboard Men’s Soccer Women’s Soccer ference AQ tournament spots 11-5-1 (7-0 HCAC) 7-9 (5-1 HCAC)

Tim Boyer second straight appearance in team tournament, but would be October 24 October 24 Sports Editor the NCAA tournament. the fourth seed with a loss. The Bluffton University 0 Bluffton University 1 Next, the women’s soccer team team is looking for the second at Rose-Hulman 3 at Rose-Hulman 2 Three Rose-Hulman sports has made a comeback from a NCAA tournament appearance October 27 teams have claimed spots in the struggling start and made an in school history. October 27 Rose-Hulman 0 Heartland Collegiate Athletic impression on the HCAC this Lastly, the women’s volleyball Rose-Hulman 1 at DePauw University 1 OT Conference (HCAC) automatic year. They narrowly lost to rival team is making history and could at DePauw University 2 qualifying tournaments for their program Transylvania University have the best conference finish sports. The winners of each tour- earlier this season 3-2 but then since 2001. The team stands 4- nament will automatically quali- knocked off Hanover College 1-0 3 in the HCAC and only has top Swimming fy for their respective NCAA Divi- who was previously undefeated ranked Bluffton University (21-5, Football sion III National Tournament. in the HCAC. The women’s soc- 5-0 HCAC) left in their schedule. October 24 4-4 (2-3 HCAC) First, the men’s soccer team has cer team has a challenge wait- They will take on the Bluffton Rose-Hulman Relays gone undefeated in HCAC regular ing for them tomorrow against Beavers in a Dad’s Day match up Terre Haute, Ind. October 24 season play with the exception of reigning conference champions tomorrow (Saturday). The vol- Men—2nd of 5 Rose-Hulman 50 their match scheduled for tomor- Mount St. Joseph. With a win, the leyball team has never qualified Women—3rd of 5 at Bluffton University 14 row (Saturday) against Mount St. Lady Fightin’ Engineers would for the NCAA Division III tourna- Joseph (2-13, 1-6 HCAC). They clinch the top seed in the four- ment. have already claimed the top seed for the four-team tourna- Volleyball — 19-11 (4-3 HCAC) ment that will begin on Tuesday, November 3 at Jim Rendel Field. October 24 With the win tomorrow, the team Rose-Hulman 26 26 17 19 — 1 will have the regular season title at Mount St. Joseph 28 24 25 25 — 3 all to themselves. The men’s soc- cer team will be looking for their http://www.heartlandconf.org Rose-Hulman 25 22 25 26 — 3 vs. Grove City College 13 25 21 24 — 1 Rose-Hulman 23 25 25 20 — 1 If you’re reading this, you like sports! vs. Bethany College 25 22 27 25 — 3 October 28 Write for the Thorn! Rose-Hulman 23 25 19 17 — 1 [email protected] at Anderson University 25 20 25 25 — 3 ViI! Flipside The Rose Thorn Beware, for the scariest of all weeks starts... in 17 days. Wacky prof quotes

Top “10” “I’m going crazy. And tak- ing you guys with me.” — Dr. Nolte, who leads Ways to dump someone awesome trips... some of which happen in fields.

Melissa Schwenk “You’re out like a fat kid in The order of the relationship assassins dodgeball.” — Dr. Morris, taking his 10. Change your voicemail to ball and going home. “Dear (insert name here), stop calling. Can’t you see I don’t like “I want your honest opin- you anymore?” Let all their calls ion. Just be straight up go to voicemail. That’s what Halloween legit.” — Dr. Sutterer, who 9. Go to a stop light party. Wear threatens to abuse, a green shirt. means to me... misuse, and confuse the Noël Spurgeon illegit in the style of MC 8. Always wait two hours after Lynch them with laughter Hammer. eating to dump them. Just like in swimming, no one wants to Halloween is awesome. When “And pancakes don’t hold get a cramp in the middle of it. you’re about five, it means free much beer.” candy and getting to wear the — Dr. Butske. The great Neil Domenico 7. Cheat on them. Bonus points purple plastic princess tiara in tragedy of the modern if it’s with someone of the oppo- A knife in the heart, like any good public with parental permis- college breakfasts, right site sex from them. breakup should be. sion. When you’re a little bit next to insufficent ba- older, it means hiding in piles Scissors: the only tool you need to con. 6. Fake your own death and in- of leaves, scaring the living be- make a costume into a sexy costume vite them to the funeral. Wait in the casket until the agreed mo- jeezus out of said tiara-clad “Thieves stole four ani- ment and then jump out and yell, “I’m not dead, but this relation- children (dropped candy=free Guys (single): In all hon- mals from among seven ship is!” candy), and possibly prank- esty, you don’t have to put that sheep, eight goats, and ing the ever-loving crap out much effort into your cos- five burros. And some 5. Go middle school on them: Write a note saying “Are we still dat- of your neighbors’ houses. tume. ‘God’s gift to women’ tacos on the side... ing? Circle yes or no.” Circle no. Bonus points for getting a friend Not that I know or anything. and a Civil are both cheap and I have no idea what a to deliver it. However, now that we’re all easy options, and although you burro is. It just sounds responsible adults, Hallow- probably won’t get any free like a Taco Bell exam- 4. Join a bunch of clubs and then tell them you don’t have time to een means , the op- drinks from your costume un- ple.” fool around anymore. portunity to break out a ri- less it’s something completely — Dr. Evans, inadver- diculous costume, and, if your awesome (Chuck Norris? Je- tently describing the 3. Go to a foreign country for a year. Come back engaged. costume is awesome enough, sus fighting a raptor?), at least origin of Tex-Mex. free drinks. It’s like free candy, it won’t cost you any money. 2. Slowly start removing all your things from their house. If they but in bottles. And who doesn’t Guys (group): While you’re “If I walk to the store m ask about it, just say you’re planning for your future together. like free? So, for your read- suffering over the ratio, you times, and while I’m ing pleasure, here’s a guide to might as well enjoy it, right? there, I beat up m kids, 1. Let Facebook tell them. costumes that will only kind With your powers combined, how many kids do I beat of make you look like an idiot. you can pull off numbers such up?” Girls: You’ve got it easy. ‘Sexy’ as the Mafia, Smurfs, and almost — Dr. Mutchler, turning anything. I’m serious here. Re- the entire cast of 300 (24-pack kids to mulch. Mass suicide! ally, there are only about three abs are recommended, but if steps to making a conventional you can’t quite pull it off, there’s “If you’re a ChemE, first female Halloween costume: always the magic of Sharpie). you make the vodka, 1. up as something. Things like the Ambiguously then you flow the Hoax at Rose Anything, really. Well, almost. Gay Duo are not recommended. vodka.” Sexy nun we can do (hike up that — Dr. VanSchoiack. Hobey Tam GPA must increase when its Couples: You guys are the square root is taken) and all the habit, sister!), but sexy sewage lucky ones. Pick two things that When does drinking the Post mortem reporter corpses were merely well engi- inspector? Uh… not so much. go together. Any two things. vodka come in? That 48 corpses of Freshman stu- neered mannequins with built- 2.Remove gratuitous sections Peanut butter and jelly. Sonny seems like the most im- dents were found throughout in blood packs. Experts also of the costume. Border on public and Cher. Michael Jackson portant part. what seemed to be blood- concluded that the police and indecency. Duct tape helps here. and underage boys. You get drenched hallways Friday morn- freshmen are stupid. 3.Do not die of hypother- the picture. Wow the audi- “The floor would be want- ing at 8:05 a.m. in the Olin build- The leader of the group said mia. This step is important. ence with your creativity, and ing me more.” ing on the Rose-Hulman campus. that the prank was in protest of It should be noted that al- remember to stick together. — Dr. VanSchoiack. Suicide techniques ranged from last week’s statements published though these costumes are Walking around as ‘To Catch a Nooo, you skipped the slitting via calipers to intricate in the Flipside, in which profes- probably a horrible idea if Predator’ bait is just awkward. drinking of the vodka! high-impact machines that sors claimed that “[professors] you want to actually go trick- So that’s it! Have fun, eat caused major trauma to vi- will continue to rape students or-treating, they’re the most candy, and don’t get arrested! tal parts of the body (i.e. head, because it was for their own likely to result in free drinks. Now, where’s that duct tape… chest, etc.). In one especially good. What doesn’t kill you can shocking scene, a student’s body only make you stronger.” Mem- was discovered, apparently hav- bers of the club also took advan- ing ripped his own head off. Fur- tage of the opportunity to send ther investigation showed that out fake “presumed dead” cards the hands were super glued to to their families, so they would the head, which was then hung not have to face their parents with piano wire — severing the about their grades. head from the rest of the body. It was agreed among all present to be a suicide of epic proportions. Nine students were found dead in the organic chemistry lab, near a cocktail of over a hun- dred different chemicals with ethanol as the primary solvent. However, upon further inves- tigation, forensic experts con- cluded that this was indeed a Featured sorry cards sent out to the planned prank mass suicide by 57 victim’s familires so that they the infamous group, The Square would not come to Dad’s Day, de- Root Club (to gain entry, one’s laying the inevitable confrontation

Here at the Flipside, we’re all about outside interference. Story ideas, constructive criticism, legal concerns, destruc- tive criticism, free food...Whatever it is, please, by all means, e-mail it to us here at [email protected]. Thank you! Carly Baehr - Do you want to be her FarmVille neighbor?

This is the Flipside disclaimer, where I, your esteemed and possibly sane editor disown this week’s issue. If some of this offends you, we are sorry... that you are so easily offended. All unattributed content was written by James Zhou. The stuff that appears on this page does not repre- sent the opinions of the Rose Thorn, Rose-Hulman, the people who wrote them, or of anyone in this or any other universe. Did you know that you are the habitat for millions of tiny little organisms, any of which could, at anytime, decide to multiply uncontrollably and KILL you?