MUSE. 06/11/12

A Grave Affair The Muse fashion shoot, to launch the Le Set A/W’13 collection

Pen of Damascus

Ali Ferzat talks about being Syria’s most infamous cartoonist

The modern Sloane

Peter York is elite society’s expert on all things posh M2 www.ey.com/uk/careers 06/11/12 Muse.

M8 M20 M22 Features. Arts. Film. M4. The Sloane Ranger handbook darling, Pe- M18. Celia Scruby reveals what’s happening M22. Aesthetica Short Film Festival is happen- ter York speaks to Tom Witherow about what in York for Illuminating the city, and we look at ing in York this weekend. Elle Hoppe speaks to being posh really means. Leeds Art Gallery’s taking art home initiative. festival director on what to watch out for.

M6. Syria’s most famous and most villified Fashion. Food & Drink. cartoonist Ali Ferzat tells Laura Hughes why he’s risked almost everything for the message. M16. Miranda Larbi looks at the controversy at M23. A real Polish stew is whipped up by Hana YSL, outerwear trends, and Ben Burns gives us Teraie-Wood. Plus, a James Bond cocktail and a M8. Did you know monks brew the best The Cold List. A Grave Affair photoshoot on M12. review of new restaurant, The Bline Swine. beer? Martin Spurr takes a trip to Ampleforth Monastry to discover their secrets. Music. Image Credits. M10. Leading criminologist, David Wilson M20. Skindred frontman speaks to Ally Cover: Natasha Wigoder. tells Alex Swadling about the need for penal Swadling about the pope. Plus the John Cage reform, and how to spot a serial killer.. festival here at the university.

Would you vote for yourself? Sophie Rose Walker he American Election race has be the best man for the job. ever been more persuaded by the would vote for myself. so flipping genius, is the team itself. taught me two rather grown- For the average unqualified fact that ‘your campaign for being There are some things I am The team that are the President’s Tup, self-reflecting things. student, looking for a job, being the you’ must be consistent, honest and very good at, like wearing sensible staff, his right hand men, (and one Firstly, and contrary to what better man is the most you can hope footwear, for example, and I could hell of a woman – CJ), are the peo- they told you at school that ‘the tak- for, seeing as you certainly won’t be easily devise a campaign for men ple who really run the ship. Togeth- ing part’ is all that matters; it’s the the best. “My presidential and women everywhere to advocate er, they are perfectly balanced in winning that really bloody counts Of course for non-presidential the benefits of my footwear policy. wit, talent, strength and weakness, now. Obama will not be consoled by candidates, university is a perfect campaign would be I reckon it would be passed on the and perhaps that is the ultimate getting a yellow sports day sticker testing ground for all those cam- crap. I don’t like smil- Hill. But there are some things that campaign lesson; it’s not a one man and being told by Michelle that she’s paigns to be put to the test, because I am really not very good at, like be- show, because nobody can be per- “so proud of him” if he doesn’t win it’s the one place where people are ing with strangers, ing on time. I am very often late and fect, it’s the team that’s the impor- a second term this evening. Obvi- fairly apathetic as to whether you it could be conducive to some pretty tant thing. After all, to be the kind of ously, the importance of winning remain true to your manifesto once and I really don’t like awkward moments in the Situa- person who, in every respect, is un- is proportionate to the level of sac- ‘in office’. Indeed, if you didn’t get tion Room in the White House, like fallibly competent and reliable, in a rifice too, because they’ve probably re-elcted for a second term as Veg early mornings.” missing drone strikes. vast variety of situations is a pretty had to re-mortgage their homes 3 Soc chair, you could still run for I should point out at this stage preposterous ask. times to stop their campaigns from Scoop Food Cooperative president. more importantly, it must win. that everything I have ever learnt So, when you ask yourself going bankrupt. But it’s not a bad, Failures and second chances are the Unfortunately however, the about American politics is from the whether you’d vote for ‘you’, re- or mad, mantra to think about, after making of you I hear, so by gosh, be second thing I’ve learnt from Amer- West Wing, so all political refer- member this: your strengths are all if you’re the best man for the job grateful for them. ica’s great race is that my presiden- ences I make are potentially entirely your campaign, and it should win, and you’ve got the best ideas then I’m not a very competitive per- tial campaign would be crap. I don’t fictional. Yes, it’s a television series, but your true success is wholly de- you should be crowned the winner. son, and I am wholly convinced that like smiling with strangers, and I but it was perhaps the finest script pendent on your team, your mum, Unfortunately, although Oba- Lacrosse players have a problem, really don’t like early mornings. But writing a series has ever known. your dog, your boyfriend, your Chief ma is definitely the better man, nei- but, just as I ponder what life might more relevant than either of those Aside from the writing though, of Staff, your very own West Wing. ther Obama nor Romney appears to hold after university, never have I two things is that I just don’t think I the thing that makes the West Wing Now, go buy the box set. 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers M3

Controversial Cartoons The Lonely Smoker Ali Ferzat had his hands broken for drawing contentious political cartoons in his na- tive Syria. We look back at some of the funniest caricatures of dictators. Rose Troup Buchanan

y friends and I are (and calming) hangover ciga- presently entering rette, I came to the conclusion Mwhat I have come to that it is not the attraction of endearingly call, the university those younger that is itself the midlife crisis. Predominantly, problem: it is the lengths that but by no means exclusively, we are prepared to go that’s the third years across campus are snag. waking up to the hideous re- After an amusing night out alisation they are old, and also I no longer wake up feeling rela- to the experience of waking up tively nubile and fresh, instead, with someone from the year be- I surface feeling akin to Jabba low lying beside them. the Hut after a binge, and with In an attempt to cling on a temperament to match. The Ultimate Parody of a Dictator: to our youth, we’ve become ra- This does not aid the study- Sacha Baron-Cohen’s most recent film pacious stalkers of the younger ing I am obliged to do as I haul Fidel Castro, Cuba. Survived 634 years, as if by osmosis close my still battered body into the assassination attempts, including proximity to such carefree indi- library. A hangover is signifi- 134 poisoned cigars. viduals will transport us back to cantly less amusing when con- the days when it was just about fronted by a intolerant tutor OK not to do your reading, it informing you that insufficient didn’t matter if your supervisor knowledge of the Indian mu- still hadn’t got a clue who you tiny of 1857 is, frankly, not ac- were, and you were blissfully ceptable. And she’s got her eyes ignorant of the existence of Key closed when she says this. Ter- Texts. rifying. Flailing merrily in one of The desire to close your York’s delightful establishments eyes and just let it all rush past the other night, I slipped briefly is a tempting one. We are daily out of my pleasantly inebriated confronted with the knowledge haze, only to clock that the num- we should be applying for jobs, ber of people I knew in the club careers, and some kind of sus- had diminished so significantly tainable employment in a few Hugo Chavez, President of that outside of my immediate short months. We’re unpre- housemates, (also contorting pared for such realities. And the Venezuela. His longest Sunday their bodies in variously undig- net result ain’t pretty. talk show was 8 hours. nified poses) there was no-one For a friend of mine, the in the place that I really knew. stress of it all was just too much. Muammar Gaddafi, Libya. Had What was this? Where were my After a spectacularly irrespon- 40 female virgin bodyguards, and friends? My drinking buddies, sible evening he provided the has a fear of heights. fellow flailers, and, most impor- piss-de-la-resistance by empty- tantly, my smoking comrades? ing his bladder on the floor of Gripping my cigarettes his own bedroom, before crum- like the undoubtedly poison- pling into a damp unconscious ous comfort they were, I headed heap. outside to locate people that I This was the University knew. The panic in my stomach equivalent of getting a boob job, (by now beginning to congeal or having a midlife gap year; unpleasantly with the latest undignified and desperate, but drink) turned immediately to wholly necessary to come out outright fear as I realised I was the other side and realise, that one of only a few third years still actually being old, having a rou- around. Everyone else had gone tine and listening to the Arch- home. Or, more significantly, ers, instead of drinking Arch- had never come out in the first ers, is really, actually, ok place. Uncontrollable panic set and the sooner w e in. Immediately, I resolved to come to make friends and start talking terms with to people. that, the Upon surfacing the next better. morning, (thankfully in my own bed sans a baby-faced first-year) Kim Jong-iI, North Korea. Claimed I realised I had become to have invented the hamburger, Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe. Called the latest victim of the and loved waterslides. Tony Blair a “Gay Gangsta”. university mid-life cri- sis. In the real world, people face midlife crisis when confronted with the James Bond by Numbers. awful knowledge their 44 . 352. career means nothing to The number of affairs had by Bond across all Number of deaths across all official films. them – translate that to films. Roger Moore had the most, at 18 women. Average of 16 per film by Bond. uni and you understand why yoga classes are sud- denly filled with groaning and 35. In total, Bond orders 19 vodka martinis and 007. Bond’s identification number in the Secret moaning third-years. Third- 16 gin martinis, with the most ordered by Con- Intelligence Service. 00 means ‘licence to kill’, years sharking in Willow are the equivalent of 30 something nery and Brosnan. there are only ever ten 00 agents at any one time. singletons: time is running out, and no-one wants to be ‘that 10. Uses of the iconic “Bond, James Bond”. Used 2. Minutes it took for Monty Norman to compose person’ left on the shelf come graduation. either to seduce women, or pre-empt violence. the James Bond theme tune in 1962. As I pondered these de- velopments over the necessary M4 www.ey.com/uk/careers 06/11/12 The Modern Sloane Peter York has stood at the epicentre of elite culture for over thirty years. Tom Witherow finds out who’s running London, what’s posh and why Made in Chelsea simply isn’t.

t’s been thirty years since the Official Sloane Ranger Hand- London has often been called a city-state, with a mayor who book coined the term associated with London’s rich, pow- has prestige over all other cities’, a large, self-sufficient econo- Ierful and stylish. This predator of the King’s Road may be my and an outlook that is far more global than British. in hiding, and Princess Diana, its archetype and leader may “London has always been the great focus and the great have passed, but the return of class aspersion in politics makes magnet, but now it’s in a different way, and to a much greater the customs of London’s richest more relevant than ever. degree, because it is the capital of Europe, or certainly the Needless to say, Britain has a complicated relationship financial capital of Europe. In that sense, the cool fantastic with money. We hate talking about it, we despise those who dominance of London is much more extreme, and you don’t lord it over us, and we greet every mistake from our politicians have nonconformist blocks of alternative power elsewhere, it with cries that they’re out of touch. And don’t get me started just doesn’t happen. It did happen in the 19th century London, on plebgate… because the real modern money was being made by the indus- But on the other side of the coin, we can’t deny the trialists in the North. But now everything is London, and Lon- pull of paper. We are fascinated by television shows such don is global and London is separate and London has damn all as Downton Abbey and Made in Chelsea. Advertising at- to do with the rest of the country. It’s just so painfully obvious.” tempts to make us aspire to those items we associate with I think the Westminster bubble is absolutely right. A the rich and famous. Bond may be patriotic, an orphan, friend of mine, who is an adopted Mancunian, was saying that, and largely classless, but don’t think that 007, modelling listening to various Londonish figures, nobody would listen or the latest Rolex, doesn’t know which fork to use. vote for him in Manchester. There is fierce resentment accord- Peter York was the style editor of Harpers and ing to him. Or just denial, ‘I don’t understand that guy because Queen, gaining fame for his social commentary of Lon- I can’t relate to anything that he’s on about’.” don’s rich and famous. He thinks Sloane (or elite) cul- And yet somehow, Boris Johnson, apparently a con- ture has moved on, with the rich and famous behaving stant feature in the news nowadays, transcends this. He has very different ways: “What I think has happened to nabbed support all over the country in a way that Cameron Sloane culture is two things: firstly, it’s been exposed simply hasn’t; the rather sharp red-blue divide on the last elec- over the last thirty years to a lot of corrosive influences toral map tells this story better than most. These men come that have made it feel less self-confident and less sure from similar places: both were at Eton (although Boris was a about its values and styles. Sloanes no longer feel that scholar), both went to Oxford (Cameron got a first), both were they’d inherited the earth, and they’re right!” members of the Bullingdon club. We all know this so, what’s Sloanes may not think so, but a few of us might argue the difference? that the bankers felt they’d inherited the earth. I ask Peter “I think the specifics are that Cameron is clearly working if all is forgiven and forgotten. “No, no, definitely not.” But he within parameters of what the country requires of him, what does see the boom of the financial services as a game-changer the party requires of him, he’s got to be careful. Whereas for for both elite society and Britain’s perceptions of them. Boris, precisely the opposite applies, he’s the more popular co- “The banker thing is very difficult to work out exactly median, he’s more about character he can appear the more fol- what it was in social terms.” For people of the Sloane back- lowing wind he can generate. And that’s about circumstances, ground who held on and were competent, it made them it would have been very interesting to have known them as richer than they could ever be. In Harpers and Queen the young men.” brilliant Anne Barr wrote a piece called ‘Rich Caroline, Poor Twitter once suggested that if Prince Harry was on the Caroline’ which was about the fact that you’ll have people throne and Boris were PM, we’d be living through an episode from the same family and some would be doing traditional of Blackadder. Peter roars with laughter, “What a bloody bril- Sloane jobs of the land agent, wine merchant variety… the liant thing to say, well done that man! You sort of hope so! It provincial type, but then some of them would be on an ex- could be fun. Of course, because they’re engaging characters, press train or vertical takeoff and get very rich, and so rich you want to believe in both of them. I think I sort of believe Caroline and poor Caroline were pulled completely apart. But more in Prince Harry than in Boris, because underneath it all at the same time, the City gave opportunities for the com- there is a great deal of calculation and ambition. I don’t know pletely un-Sloane types of backgrounds to make money in very about his everyday competencies, and I don’t know whether spivvy ways. he would favour the cutting-off of hands for theft. You just “So you’ve got both things happening and I’m not sure don’t know quite how wildly right wing he is.” what the net of it is. What it did do was allow all those people, But do Boris and Harry actually fit the classic Sloane get- whatever their backgrounds, to buy up all the goodies. They out? What actually defines the lesser-Sloane? “Well there was bought up all the places in the expensive and desirable schools, a stylistic onslaught, and to be a very obvious pigeon-hole-able all the rectories in the nice counties, everything, everything! Sloane was seen to damage your life chances or your work They bought up the bloody lot. To the exclusion of all other chances and all sorts of other chances. So unless you’re a wine human beings.” merchant or a land agent, it looked a bit old-fashioned and Peter does call himself a bit of a lefty, and perhaps here bad to be Sloaney. So younger Sloanes don’t tend to grab off, his passion against the people, the study of whom has brought that’s my word for it, the way they sounded, and change the him such fame is where is shines through. “People are deeply way they dressed. And anyway they were fashioned in the way resentful of them but it’s not right to say that Sloanism and the that the world was – they had to look sleeker, more modern, financial services are one and the same, but they have got a bit they had to conform in that way.” of a mixed thing. And of course historically, the City has made We can all understand that to look posh is to open yourself fortunes for people who over about three generations Sloanise up to derision – David Cameron knows this too well, and yet themselves. And become Gloucestershire landowners, like the he and his cabinet appear to have provided a spark for modern 18th century bankers. And live rather daintier lives.” social elites. “Yes! It [the emergence of this government] has The social climbers of today, the elites of tomorrow. Per- been a sort of shot in the arm for Sloane self-confidence. There haps I should have chosen economics after all. Although you have been a lot of articles saying, well, it’s ok to be posh now. do need to be comfortable fighting off the scurrilous media: “I “But that’s all part of a system of short term fashion re- was just filming something… we were asking people whether sponses, but counter to the great theory that it’s okay to be they were rich or poor, and asking why everybody hated them. posh now, people might say that it’s because the posh are no God it was fun! I wanted to do it all day, it was such fun!” longer oppressively important. The analysis behind this isn’t But all this is a sideshow to the central problem: the ma- that we’re in a less class-divided country and I don’t mean that jority of Britain has been left disillusioned by those who are inequality is any the less – demonstrably inequality is on the running the country. Bankers’ arrogance, fast cars, smart clubs rise, not the decline – but the core of and associations with a and bars – they all make London seem a million miles away, particular style and standpoint and a particular subset of and more importantly make Westminster and Whitehall feel the luckier rich has been prized apart. In other words, as remote to our everyday lives as the Presidential elections. we may be very unequal and getting more so, but the M5 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers HT CEI, CGI’ MNC ARELLANO- MONICA ‘CAGGIE’: CREDIT, PHOTO

people at the top of the pile are not ‘posh’.” fic warden. But then humour is a typically British response to the mark? It might be clear that the Queen doesn’t have much power being threatened, and threatened, we might feel as the world’s “When it any more. But a privately schooled cabinet may tell a different rich descend on our capital. House prices rise, tax evasion, started I story. So who is holding the cards in British society? endless building projects, nepotism; there are certainly a num- wrote some- “They come from more places. There are more types of ber of evils which can be attached to the invasion of the foreign thing about rich and lucky people. Two main groups of people are in there: rich and thus our concern may be warranted. Peter muses over it for the Tel- one is the people who are the very top players in Britain, the this invasion: “The more Russians that get Anglicised the bet- egraph and very richest and most powerful. And they are increasingly for- ter! They’re so spooky as they are, and so frightening. I think I realised it eign. The other group of people are the children of the benefi- we need to change their values!” Xenophobia may indeed be a should have ciaries of the eighties boom in Britain. Many of whom weren’t watchword. been nastier. Sloane and didn’t want to be Sloane. In the early days, new But if there’s one thing that the new rich, and the old The question money wanted to be Sloane, but it doesn’t now – it takes a Sloanes agree on is that it’s not cool to be Sloane. Or you at least they asked me much more global perspective. If your idea of the great life and can’t show it, and for the rest of us don’t tell a Sloane that he’s a was ‘are these the great achievement is setting up a global company and your Sloane, remember it’s deeply uncool. But what can we look out Sloanes?’. Of for as we course not! I cruise down mean, what- the South ever she “All my friends’ children live in Brick Lane. side of was called, the King’s Caggie or Road? “Es- something, You scratch them under their cute little s e n t i a l l y seemed a S l o a n i s m bit Sloane isn’t very in back- hipster hair and they’ve been to Eton too!” fashion- ground and style, able, they but no it’s not a Sloane life in any just do the sense. People said ‘oh, but they’ve been same stuff to smart schools’ and I said that’s neither here nor there. This perspective is a pretty global one, then the whole Sloane thing and wear the same stuff. You see people wearing very bright is just a sort of weird parody of the life of rich kids, and of seems irrelevant. Sloane is just a bit decorative and archaic… trousers! Well actually their dads have been wearing dark red course it can’t be right as they’ve been put together, and cast, It’s irrelevant. They regard Sloane as irrelevant.” trousers to parties for a million years.” and almost scripted, but that’s what they’re aiming at.” “But really if you look at the Sunday Times rich list, they He also notes how foreign money has forced traditional And beyond Sloane-dom what else is London wearing? are simply foreign. It is an enormous money, which dwarfs sloanes further afield, “of course, all my friends’ children live “Oh everything! London is such a melting pot. And it’s not couth old money. And they have enormous power and don’t in Brick Lane! You scratch them under their cute little hip- about class it’s about geography. If you’re in Knightsbridge, fear to exert it, they’re not at all restrained in exerting their ster hair and they’ve been to Eton too… Do you remember that you watch the rich Arabs wear the designer stuff straight out power.” thing that Chris Morris did? His programme, Nathan Barley of the shop window. If you’re in Bloomsbury, you want to look Oh, how we chortled when we saw the vulgar turquoise was about that culture. Except it wasn’t actually mad enough.” like a First World War poet, or a between wars architect. It’s all super cars of Harrods’ Qatari owners clamped by a lowly traf- So the often scoffed at Made In Chelsea is indeed wide of about geography.” M M6 www.ey.com/uk/careers 06/11/12

A Pen of Damascus Steel

li Ferzat’s hands stand as a screaming symbol of Syr- ding the President from being characterised. It was a cartoon Time Magazine’s 100 ian resistance. On Thursday 25 August 2011, masked depicting the President hitch-hiking a ride with a fleeing Mua- Astate-sponsored militia from President Bashar Assad’s mar Gadhafi which provoked the attack. regime beat Ali and brutally broke his hands. It was a bid to “Bashar sent his regime’s shabiha, or thugs, to assault and most influential silence this caricaturist into submission. But Ali Ferzat’s hands kidnap me in the middle of the most important public square healed. Ali is now living in exile in Kuwait where he continues in Damascus (Ummayyad square) and they threw me out of to define, and redefine, through his own unique medium of their car on the road to the airport thinking they could get people of 2012 mass communication, the slaughtering tyranny of the Syrian rid of me.” The American Embassy in Damascus called it “a Government. government-sponsored, targeted, brutal attack.” Ali talked of Ali Ferzat draws his caricatures between the prescribed how he had left Syria for Kuwait a month after the incident in included a man who lines of Syrian censorship. Ali had initially struck up a friend- search of medical treatment that was unavailable in Syria. Se- ship with Bashar al-Assad, and it was the President who was cret service agents were arresting patients in hospitals whose responsible for initially legalizing the publishing of his draw- wounds were received during protests. has been kidnapped, ings. Ali told me of their former friendship, “well that was Ali had his first cartoons published at just 14, on the front more precisely a relationship that started at a gallery he at- pages of al-Ayyam newspaper, before the publication was tended in Damascus in 1996. He had wanted to know through banned by Assad’s father. Since then he has created more than tortured and exiled me and other artists and intellectuals about the corruption in 15,000 caricatures. In December 2000, Ali was granted per- the country and kept making slogans of reform, development mission to publish al-Domari, the first independent periodical and modernization, but those slogans evaporated when he allowed in Syria since 1963. In 2003, however, frequent cen- for his satirical came to power. And I was very critical of him from the mo- sorship meant Ali was forced to shut the paper down. It was a ment he took power through my extremely satirical cartoons.” cartoon depicting a General offering out military decorations Since the spring of 2011, Syrian protesters and the swathes instead of food to a hungry citizen that stirred the most dis- attacks on the of the poorer Sunni majority, have called for the dissolution content amongst Arab leaders. One cartoon includes an image of Assad’s Ba’ath government. The United Nations estimates of a gun with a razor blade for a trigger and a severed fingertip; 10,000 people have been killed and 100,000 forced to flee a recent cartoon shows a small sprouting flower lifting a tank. Assad regime. Laura from their homes. Assad’s initial concessions have been re- In 2012, Time magazine named Ali Ferzat one of the 100 placed by a repressive crackdown and he has strangled Syria most influential people in the world. Ali has received the 2011 into subservience. The President has waged war against his Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought by the European Par- Hughes meets Ali own people and made a mockery of international attempts to liament and been honoured as one of the leading figures in the qualm his butchery. Syrians have been detained for expressing Arab spring. He was awarded the Reporters Without Borders their opinions and reporting information online. 2011 Prize for Press Freedom and the Cartoonists Rights Net- Ferzat. Ali’s cartoons directly criticized Assad despite laws forbid- work’s 2012 Courage in Editorial Cartooning Award. 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers M7

He has been blacklisted from Libya, Jordan and Iraq, and Syria the security situation for the whole region hangs in the received death threats from Saddam Hussein. Yet still, Ali gallows. Condemnation has come against Najib Mikati, Leba- serves as the head of the Arab Cartoonists’ Association, and non’s Prime Minister, who has adopted a policy to dissociate cartoonists from across the world drew their own cartoons in Lebanon from the repercussions of the unrest in Syria. Critics response to Ali’s attack. say he has taken the side of the Assad regime. The Lebanese I asked if satire and humour were really a means of pro- political landscape is comprised of the Sunni-based alliance curing reform. “Yes, satirical humour can be used to turn the known as March 14, and the opposition, the Shia-dominated tables on dictatorship and injustice. When it stems from the March 8 coalition headed by Hezbollah. The latter are strong pain of the people and is bold, when it shatters the barrier of si- allies of the Syrian dictatorship. lence and the fear of the people. The proof of that could be seen Did Ali believe the Syrian conflict would continue to spill with the Syrian revolutionaries who carry my cartoons during into Lebanon? “Yes, the revolution could help raise the aware- protests as a show that they relate to the drawings.” So, was ness of people whom will turn against the bloody governments it possible to be an artist and a creator before a political dis- that support the Syrian dictatorship in its suppression of the sident? “The creative artist is for the most part not necessarily Syrian people, like Iran, Iraq and Lebanon. It can also spread a political activist, as is the case with me. For politics is the art in time outside the Middle East to places like Russia, China, of deception while art is a moral stance that doesn’t change.” Venezuela and Korea,” - states that Ali described as “the coun- In September 2005 the Prophet Jyllands-Posten draw- tries of hell.” We talked of the consequences for Hezbollah if ings shook the Muslim world. The twelve cartoons depicted Assad’s regime was to fall: “Hezbollah and the Syrian regime the Muslim Prophet in various satirical circumstances. One are nothing but a robot of Iran in the region, they will lose cartoon depicted Muhammad with a lit bomb upon his head power once the Iranians drop the remote control at the hands instead of a turban. I wanted to know if cartoons ever cross a of the Syrian revolution.” line. Ali believes that this is to be decided by the opinions of the The situation in Syria today echoes of the 1980s and of cartoonist and those who consume their work. But the uproar the international stagnation that fell silent in its wake. Hafiz in response to these 12 cartoons could have been “overlooked al-Assad, the current President’s father, responded to the Syr- if it wasn’t for the media that used them as a means for a po- ian Muslim Brotherhood by authorizing the shelling of Hama, litical agenda and weren’t concerned with art or religion. If we leaving at least 10,000 Syrians for dead. Russia, China and come to my personal opinion, I think we can criticise Muslims, Iran have till now supported the current regime. Russia and Christians and Jews as people but what do the heavens have to China came out against Western calls for intervention, on the do with that?” basis of human rights concerns, and the possibility of grow- The Syrian protests began in the city of Deraa in March ing Western influence in the region. If the Assad dictatorship 2011. Marchers demanding the release of 14 school children survives it will remain largely dependant on its Iranian patron. were brutally silenced, and government militia stormed their Iran continues to sustain the regime through their supply of city. The violence triggered anti-government protests across practical and financial assistance. This dependency could lead the country. When security forces opened fire on peaceful to what commentators have called an ‘Iranian sphere of influ- demonstrations, initial demands for greater democracy, be- ence,’ which would stretch from western Afghanistan to Leba- came calls for Assad’s resignation. Protestors are asking for the non, where Hezbollah remains a key Iranian ally. immediate end to extra judicial killings and torture, the release I wanted to know what a man, who has given his life to of political prisoners, detained protesters and the transition to his country’s cause, thought of the international community’s a democratic, free and pluralistic society. Opposition figures response to this gross violation of human rights and this hu- have stressed that they seek a multi-national, multi-ethnic, manitarian crisis. “The international community is currently and religiously tolerant society. devoid of humanity. The Syrian revolution has lifted the veil off During the Lebanese Civil War, Syria was quick to wield the Syrian regime and now poses a moral dilemma for a free influence and interfere in the country’s politics. The Syrian world which calls for freedom but will take care of itself before military occupied Lebanon from 1976 until 2005. If the cri- it can care for others.” Ali’s cartoons contend the idea that vio- sis continues to escalate, commentators fear Hezbollah could lence is the only means of achieving political ends. Students occupy the Sunni section of Beirut, as they did in May 2006. have stopped hearing, perhaps it’s time we start looking. M Sectarian tensions in Lebanon are agitated between govern- ment troops and rebel sympathisers. As turmoil mounts in Thanks go to Noha Abdel Bary for her assistance in translation M8 www.ey.com/uk/careers 06/11/12

Brewing for Britain A recipe for beer brought by monks fleeing post-revolution France has been discovered within the abbey. Martin Spurr finds out how the Abbey is stepping up production.

don’t think we want to be Heineken”, says Father Ter- actually owned a house here because of the connection with in the college, get involved in hospitality and retreat giving rance, the Prior at Ampleforth Abbey, “that’s not the Gilling castle, so we came here and that’s really the reason why or work within the monastery itself looking after the elderly. “Iidea and it’s always going to be a niche product, but it was started at Ampleforth.” But this is only sustainable with a solid revenue stream – the that’s what we want.” The beer recipe was found a few years ago in the Abbey, boarding school provides Ampleforth’s biggest income but the Perched on the southern boundary of the North Yorkshire but it isn’t the first addition to the Abbey’s alcohol produce. sale of its alcoholic produce is growing. Moors, the Benedictine Abbey’s striking location is a draw for Ampleforth cider has been made and sold for the past four or Globally, there does appear to be a connection between many of the students at its prestigious school. But it’s the mon- five years and at 8.3 per cent proof, Cameron Smith, the or- beer and monasteries. Apart from Ampleforth’s own ‘la biere astery’s newest money-making venture that enticed me to visit. chard manager, describes it as a “silent assassin”. Yet, this is not anglaise’, Trappist beer, brewed by monasteries in Belgium, is ‘La biere anglaise’ or Ampleforth Abbey beer was launched unusual for monastic alcohol. said to be one of the finest in the world. In England, Buck- this summer after a 200 year old beer recipe was discovered The whole cider production is still small-scale despite an fast Tonic Wine is brewed by a monastery in Devon. There are within the Abbey. The Ampleforth community had settled in increase of capacity to 25,000 litres in recent years. “I have many ways a community could supplement their income but France following the reformation by Henry VIII, but came picked a few [apples]”, reveals Father Terrance, “or some of the many monasteries choose alcohol - often rather strong alcohol. back to England in the 1790s, fleeing from the French Revolu- other monks [will] if you’ve got a spare afternoon. So there is Father Terrance calls it “quite typical monastic work”, adding, tion, with the precious recipe. They spent nine years wander- a monastic input to it. We do a ‘work and prayer’ retreat which “a lot of monasteries have farms and make money from doing ing the British countryside, staying in Lancashire before even- involves picking apples as well as saying your prayers.” that. And in a way that’s just another agricultural industry.” tually settling in Ampleforth. Saying your prayers and picking apples sums up the mo- “We have old monks that need to be cared for, we have “We came back to England as refugees”, explains Father nastic attitude: helping at any opportunity in any situation. buildings that need to be repaired. All that sort of thing. And Terrance, “and wandered around Lancashire to start with The monks at Ampleforth, with ages ranging between 30 and we have to be, not exactly commercial, but we have to not because most of the monks had Lancashire origins. But they 94, work in parishes, at a monastery in Zimbabwe, they teach make a loss because otherwise where is the money going to M9 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers

come from if we do?” It’s not just the monks who lend a hand in helping with the orchard. Cameron recites how last year while eight pris- oners were sent to work on the orchard one of them abscond- ed because he, “owed someone in the prison money so the only way out of that situation was to do a runner. “But he got caught quite soon and then he got sent to a different prison where the people he owed money to weren’t. The really sad news is that there were eight of them, they worked like Trojans - superb. On the Friday, which was when he did his runner, at lunchtime we had fish and chips planned and were going to let them go for a swim as a thank you. Well, he did a runner at 11 o’clock so they didn’t get the fish and chips and didn’t get a swim. They were quite miffed.” Ampleforth’s cider really took off as a commercial activ- ity after Father Rainer planted 1900 trees around the Abbey in the 1980s and the hope is the new beer will do the same. “We have tried other things. But it is hard selling 40 tonnes of apples, it’s impossible. People will come along and buy a box or a few bags but they don’t want to take 40 tonnes.” The move towards commercial production of both Am- pleforth cider and beer appears to be more incremental than a sudden change. Cameron stresses that the “pure ethos I think is about using what we have. It would be a crime to have 40 tonnes of apples going to waste each year. So there’s the question of also using it and making the best of it.” The majority of raw materials needed for brewing can be found on a farm and monasteries often turned to breweries because the beer produced was better to drink than water. However, this still doesn’t explain why monastic beer is so highly regarded and so strong compared to other tipples. “Because the community travelled far and wide”, sug- gests Cameron, “they probably managed to source materials and the ingredients, like hops and wheat, from the best places to get them and they had the contacts. So, I bet you they had the network to get the best of what they didn’t grow because if you think of what happened with beers in England it was actually brewed and made because the water was so bad. I don’t think there was too much refinement in how you made beer in the 1800s or 1700s it was just anything bar water.” “We’re not aiming at that “And cider is the same. Cider in the West Country was part of people’s income, they were paid in cider. Again it was because it was better than the water.” The strength of the Ampleforth beer and cider is due to market. The last thing we the double fermentation within bottle conditions, giving it more sugar and therefore a higher proof. And although you might not think that the monks consume alcohol, Father want to do is to contribute Terrance explained how drinking beer, in moderation, is a lunchtime practice for the monks at Ampleforth. “Traditionally we have beer at lunch. We just get a glass of beer, I mean, not half a pint even, just a glass - the jug gets to drunkenness and social passed around. Not everybody takes it of course, but that’s quite traditional and whether we are going to have our own beer I don’t know, at the moment it is just bought in beer.” disorder and all that sort Though, there is one monastic produce that has become part of drinking culture – Buckfast. Made by monks in Dev- on, Buckfast Tonic Wine has the reputation of being a Glas- wegian favourite. of thing.” “We’re not aiming at that market”, Father Terrance says reassuringly, “we are deliberately trying to not aim at that market. The last thing we want to do is to contribute to drunkenness and social disorder and all that sort of thing. “That’s not what we want to do, that would be undermin- ing what we are about and I don’t think Buckfast wants to do that. They are embarrassed about that use of their tonic, it’s really meant to be semi-medicinal. So you just have a little tot of the stuff. That’s what it is sold as; it’s not really sold as something you drink by the bottle.” Ampleforth’s own beer, ‘la biere anglaise’ was officially launched in July and although only available in a certain number of bars and shops, there are a number of places in York that stock it. Cameron suggests that there has been a “real renaissance in Yorkshire products”, adding that there has been a lot of demand for their cider. Although monasteries may be unlikely producers of some of the finest quality beer, it is a traditional practice and one that is on the up at Ampleforth Abbey. Indeed, demand is outstripping supply. Father Rainer used to sell out every year, “he had a market that was expanding but he wasn’t expand- ing fast enough”, Cameron describes. Yet, I sense a willingness to keep the beer relatively small-scale. As Father Terrance says, it should be something that is “rather special…we don’t want it to be the sort of beer which people just knock back and get blitzed.” And that seems to be right. While what was once a hobby has been turned into a small-scale business, I think that is where it will remain. There is no desire to expand further and no need to with a profitable private school next door – however much I would love them to. The reason Ampleforth makes beer and cider is not due to a love of the liquor, but because of a love of the work they do at the monastery and in local parishes. The link between monasteries and beer may be puzzling but when you have 40 tonnes of apples, what else can you do? M M10 www.ey.com/uk/careers 06/11/12

“Serial killers don’t talk about fine foods, architecture or blood spatter patterns. They’re actually rather boring, dull people who are weedy and needy”

Offending the System 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers M11

One of the UK’s leading criminologists David Wilson speaks to Alex Swadling about the need for penal reform, dispelling prison stereotypes, and how to spot a serial killer.

hen I went there I’d ask if he was OK, and say that ernor in the country. I ask how his experience of with working tunity missed.” Wilson raises his eyebrows as a resigned look I was concerned that he was locked up by him- with violent prisoners had affected his original philosophical flashes across his face. “I am pleased that it disappeared with “Wself. On one memorable occasion he waited for thinking at this point. “My first exposure to a serial killer was almost no trace.” me to visit, and when we opened his cell door he had stripped when I was training as an assistant governor in Wormwood However, Wilson’s involvement in television is also prob- naked and covered his entire body with black shoe polish. He Scrubs and he was called Dennis Nilsen. I was kind of intrigued lematic. In 2008, Wilson resumed his role as prison governor then threatened to ‘stab me with his moustache’, and told me by that,” Wilson explains, referring to “the Kindly Killer” who in a fake prison with the former Home Secretary David Blun- to ‘fuck off’. I did.” was convicted in 1983. “But my first real experience of working kett as part of social experiment that followed the rehabilita- The press called him “the most violent prisoner in Britain,” with really violent prisoners was at Grendon, which operates tion of ten offending teenagers in a programme called Banged but for Professor David Wilson, Charles Bronson was simply as a psycho-dynamic therapeutic community, and therefore its Up. Although the series was nominated for a RTS award, it re- another one of the inmates at HMP Woodhill where Wilson purpose is incredibly optimistic.” ceived a mixed response, most notably from ex-convict turned worked as a prison governor. Working at the Young Offender’s Institutes Finnamore writer Erwin James, who called it “a sham.” A ‘Category A’ prison, Woodhill is the notorious home of Wood and Huntercombe, Wilson went on to work at Grendon “I think that Banged Up really did work” Wilson affirms. two special units which Wilson helped to design and manage, prison where he ran a sex offender’s treatment programme. “The medium can work, it is just those TV programmes that containing the 12 most disruptive prisoners in the country. Following his “positive experience” of working at Grendon, want to be sensationalist, populist, and exploitative pro- “Even if my primary responsibilities were to the prison’s spe- Wilson was asked to work with the violent prisoners of Woo- grammes—which tend more often than not to get a commis- cial units, I saw Bronson regularly enough in the segregation dhill. “That was a much more challenging experience and not sion—that is the problem.” While I wouldn’t call Banged Up unit,” Wilson recounts in his column in The Guardian. “Only at all as optimistic as the experiences of working at Grendon,” ‘ground-breaking’, the message is an obvious and important one person wanted Bronson to be in solitary confinement – he concludes gravely. one. I do take some issue however with Wilson’s more recent Charles Bronson.” His time and contact with these violent offenders began documentary Killers Behind Bars: The Untold Story, which Sat with a coffee in hand, the Wilson sat in front of me is to shape his ideas on prison, and ultimately led him to quit the aired on Channel 5 earlier this year. very much the “celebrity” academic I’ve seen in more recent prison service in protest of the conditions. “I resigned when “Killers Behind Bars started out with a much more aca- years on the TV and writing in newspapers – not perhaps how I returned from a visit on behalf of The Council of Europe demic purpose, which was to introduce the public to real I’d imagine him as a prison governor dealing with the likes of to Albania. I was asked to help to advise the new democratic criminology as opposed to CSI criminology. In the series I’m Bronson. Wilson is direct and precise in his expression and he government of Albania about setting up a democratic penal actually using genuine profiling techniques,” he describes. “Ac- quickly abandons his coffee to free his hands, which are con- system [Albania was previously under dictatorship]. Albania tual offender profiling is a bottom up, data-driven approach stantly gesticulating as he speaks. Notably, he is also nothing is an incredibly poor country – I was expecting their prisons to discovering or suggesting who the police might target the like the detached, chain-smoking bald bloke who was chosen to be appalling, but frankly they were better than our own.” investigation towards.” While it is an incredibly interesting to portray him in Nicolas Winding Refn’s 2008 biopic Bron- His hands motion emphatically, also gesturing towards a deep- and compelling viewing, there is something quite uncomfort- son, which depicts an incident where Bronson held the pris- seated passion that now seems to have been masked by a well- able about watching an hour- long documentary that re-opens on librarian hostage and Wilson took on the role as hostage practised television persona. “So, because of being under a dic- these high profile cases in such horrific and intimate detail. commander. “Of course I might have been calculating – or ap- tatorship, their attitudes to prisons were far more enlightened Something about it just smacks of those “Never Been Seen Be- peared so to him – but I am not bald, bespectacled, and I have than British attitudes towards prisons. I resigned when I came fore!” straplines plastered all-over tabloids and ‘Real Life’ story certainly never smoked.” Wilson is an interesting man, to say back from visiting Albania, saying I don’t want to do anything magazines – the voyeurism of these kinds of programmes is the least. more in our penal system. It was a natural return therefore to just unavoidable. In 1983, he completed his PhD at Cambridge and was apply for an academic job.” I find myself getting frustrated that Wilson won’t ac- then quickly recruited by the HM Prison Service’s Assistant Wilson, who is now a Professor of Criminology at Bir- knowledge the difficulties of his own programme, which Governor Scheme before starting his training at HM Worm- mingham City University, has 15 published books predomi- doesn’t seem to have much purpose other than to satisfy mor- wood Scrubs. nantly on the subject of serial killers. He has also become a bid curiosity. How can we find this elusive balance between en- “Originally I was interested in the philosophical idea of figure of the public eye, regularly contributing to The Guard- tertainment and enlightenment? “Well the balance is heavily why do some behaviours become labelled as crime and why do ian and presenting documentaries for the BBC and Channel skewed towards entertainment,” he admits, “I think there are some behaviours, which cause just as much damage, are seen 5. I ask Wilson about his responsibility to dispel the kinds of some interesting and edgy programmes as a consequence of as permissible. Because I was reading philosophy it was this distorted images of prison and prisoners the media so loves to that imbalance. For example, Dexter springs to mind as a very particular idea that attracted me to pursue a career in dealing weep about. “Well to bring it bang up to date, I think it is very interesting and edgy programme. Dexter is a serial killer who with offenders. I wanted to apply the idea, and so my first ever interesting how Channel 4 promoted Gordon Ramsay” Wilson targets other serial killers, so the viewer ethically and morally job was an assistant governor in Wormwood Scrubs,” Wilson begins, referring to Channel 4’s favourite over used leather is being asked to root for Dexter – I find all that very prob- explains. “I literally went from the philosophy to the practice handbag who went into Brixton prison to teach prisoners how lematic, because really what we’re playing on is a stereotype in the course of a weekend.” to cook. “Both Channel 4 and Ramsay have played on two ste- of what a serial killer is like. Serial killers are not dramatic, As a perpetual student in his twenties with no previous reotypes of prison: the first was he was going to encounter su- exciting, insightful people – they don’t talk about fine foods experience of employment, it comes as no surprise that the per predators, that everybody there was going to try and kill and Florentine architecture or blood spatter patterns. They’re transition was stark. “Stark contrast is perhaps understating him and try and hurt him in some way. But equally he’s also actually rather boring, dull, grey, everyday people who are self- what happened,” he smiles. “I think prison officers didn’t like played on the other flipside of that stereotype; that prisoners obsessed, weedy and needy.” assistant governors, especially ones called ‘Doctor’ who had are lazy and don’t want to get out of their cells; that they’ve re- It’s not quite the resolve or explanation I wanted, but come straight from Cambridge; they wanted their prison gov- ally got to be cattle-prodded to take any action to change their it does characterise a man who has remained faithful to the ernors to be ex-army or something. It was only because I could circumstances,” he explains cuttingly. “So often what I’m doing truth and to his own experiences. David Wilson can certainly prove my abilities of playing rugby and that I understood the in the public eye is trying to counteract those stereotypes by be relied on for a well-informed and lucid voice on the prison idea of boarding schools and people living in close proximity talking about how prison is in fact a much overused space that debate, it’s just a shame that he appears to have sold out to that I was able to survive those first few months. They were usually creates more problems than it solves. I think because the celebrity machine. You wonder whether his television pro- crucial in allowing me to then go on and pursue the ideas that the vast majority of the public don’t get access to the prison— grammes are purporting exactly the stereotypes he’s trying to had interested me in the first place.” that’s why programmes like Ramsay’s are so important—and avoid. M By the age of 29, Wilson became the youngest prison gov- if he panders to stereotypes it seems to me that it’s an oppor- With thanks to Ed Greenwood for his help and research. M12

a grave affair M13 a grave affair

Le Set - Launching A/W ‘13 M14 www.ey.com/uk/careers 06/11/12 M15 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers

photographer and creative director: natasha wigoder. stylist: benjamin burns. assistants: imogen prus, iseult smith. model: rebecca choong wilkins. clothes: le set. Location: the chapel at York cemetery. M16 06/11/12 Fashion. Slightly. Lacking. Presence Why did the seventies show from Slimane leave critics feeling sedated, asks Miranda Larbi

t’s usually the likes of Tulisa or Joey Barton who air their grievances on Itwitter, not the elusive head of a global fashion house. So Hedi Slimane - head of Yves Saint Laurent - has shocked the fashion world through a full blown twitter tirade against New York Times fashion critic, Cathy (or Catty - Hedi is witty if nothing else) Horyn. Unfortu- nately, Slimane’s debut collection has been overshadowed by his off-catwalk antics. Engrossing as it is, the lead up to Fashion Week is not the best time for a designer to vilify those poised to critique their collection - especially with a house as adored as Laurent. Slimane returned to YSL in March after a twelve year hiatus, in which he redefined the male silhouette at Dior Homme (his androgynous, slim designs ruled the catwalks to such a degree that Karl Lagerfeld lost six and a half stone just to wear them), and took sabbati- cal as a photographer. His debut at YSL marks not only a return to fashion de- sign, and his first stab at womenswear, but also marks a re-jig of the house it- self. Slimane’s rebranding of the house as Saint Laurent Paris has baffled many - why meddle with a brand identity as iconic as YSL - but serves as a move to further the house’s authenticity: in 1966 PHOTO CREDIT: DAPHNE JEPPS @ PORTLAND PR COLLECTION it started as ‘Saint Laurent Rive Gauche. - the pieces are luxurious, beautiful, chrome images be used in articles. Such He has been criticized for a lack of I wonder if Slimane’s determination to easy to wear, and are bound to fly off the media control seems excessive if not imagination and daring, yet if he had remain faithful to the foundations of the shelves on Bond Street. But, commercial obsessive, and would certainly rile the created something truly revolutionary, brand, and it’s ideas, is partly responsi- viability aside, I wonder if the collection fashion critic. One would hope that the life-long YSL supporters might have ble for the less than enthusiastic reac- is everything we’d hoped for; if it is origi- collection would be worthy of such cen- thrown their arms up in protest. Alas, tion to his comeback. nal; if it speaks of an artist come to take sorship and secrecy. Alas, when it finally the fashion world may have been more YSL has utterly defined womens- the reigns of a label and bring something debuted, insiders world-wide clapped supportive of this catch 42, had the lead- wear during its forty odd year reign, and new to the table. The answer is no, and I languorously and moved onto more ex- ership of the label not been the subject Slimane’s SS13 collection pays homage am getting bloody tired of revival. citing ventures. As Vogue’s Alexandra of debate and scrutiny in the run up to to that legacy - we see a repatriation of In the weeks building up to Paris Schulman tweeted, the disappointing PFW. Alas it would seem that the pres- seventies design with elegant swathes of fashion week, the PR team of YSL, sorry reaction to Laurent’s latest show may sure of maintaining both a carefully chiffon, seductive floppy hats and floor SLP, bombarded the media with emails have been ‘an example of what happens crafted personal and brand image has length frilled and fringed creations. demanding that the label be referred when you try to overly control the media. been too much for Slimane. Something There is no doubt in my mind that the to by its new (or old) name, as well as Generally everyone is more generous to had to give - unfortunately, it was the collection will be a commercial success insisting that only a select few mono- first collections’. collection. Trends. Outerwear. Miranda Larbi.

ALL COATS AT JAMBOREE AT ASOS When you’re freezing your bits off, the last thing you want to see is a hoard of mentalists prancing around in hot pants and boots. I may have northern blood, but to get me out after dark during the winter term, I have to have a woollen blanket-like scarf wrapped around my face and a number of furred/knitted/puffed layers - and that’s with a beer coat on. Either I’m being let down by my genes or these girls are insane. I admire people who don’t let the weather affect their plans, but whilst this sort of determination may come into its own later in life, for now these hoards of nutters who shiver on icy curbs with bare limbs look ridiculous..and, more to the point, cold. These are also probably the people you can hear spreading that tubercular-sounding cough around campus. It seems that either we cover every inch of our bodies in unflattering padding, putting on three stone in the process, or we refuse to acknowledge winter and submit ourselves to months of disease and frostbite. Fortunately this year there’s a plethora of attractive coats and jackets on the high street to ensure that one is hot [in both senses of the word] even in a blizzard. There’s no need to sacrifice style for comfort. In fact they’re so nice, you might struggle to take them off... 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers M17 Campus Style Icon The Cold List The Enemy Within. Benjamin Burns

ecently, I realised that I hadn’t bought a men’s lifestyle magazine in an age. Juice: Runny red noses will RAs an impressionable teenager, there never be fashionable. We’ve was always at least 1912318 in my bag, and been defeating ours by juicing I only read the fashion section. Now, as a all fruit and vegetables in reach, wiser boy-man hybrid, I forget the fashion with the aid of Juice Master Ja- section and go for the features. Yes, my in- son Vale (thank you Argos, but terests have grown, but it’s more than that: note, this is the only time you I avoid the fashion section. will appear in this section). If It’s part boredom, part loathing. Not only that all sounds a bit too wor- does every fashion section in every main- thy, juice goes great with (a lot stream men’s magazine feel the same to of) gin. Despite waking up in a read (minus the odd exception like Vogue bath last Wednesday, I was gal- Hommes Japan), they combine to create a vanized and glowing. Ahem. rhetoric which sits at odds with an essential attribute of journalism, and also with my reasons for loving fashion in the first place. I’m talking about the prescriptive tone which underscores the ‘Guides’, ‘Rulebooks’ and ‘Manuals’ of men’s magazines, which rams Smoking Slippers: It’s been a an archetypal ideal of what is and what is not long time coming, but flats really to be a well dressed man down the reader’s are back, and not just for comfy throat. days. Smoking slippers, seen at ‘Never wear shorts more than an inch above Miu Miu, McQueen and Nine the knee…never carry a man bag…never West, as well as paragon of style wear a short sleeve shirt’ (paraphrased from Alexa Chung, make easy work some of the most recent issues of one of the of elevating any outfit. Men of a biggest men’s magazines. Let’s call it Gorm- sartorially adventurous disposi- less Quandry). tion, take note - Jimmy Choo and To me, an essential attribute of journalism Stubbs and Wootton offer some is that it reports on things I, as a reader, am great variations. unaware of, or gives me insight into an alter- native outlook on things that I am aware of. Whether it’s politics, fashion, music or sport, I don’t pay £4.00 to read the same BS month in, month out. Clothing: Redundant as this may This is where, in my opinion, mainstream sound, clothing seems to be some- men’s fashion journalism has gone wrong. Sacha Alanoca thing quite a few people are forget- Its journalists choose not to report on the de- ting, to the extent that both Mi- signers which challenge and refresh, or the 3rd Year, Philosophy, Economics and Politics randa and myself feel the need to explorers of the sartorially less trodden road. address it. Girls - bandage dresses They choose not to sew a view of menswear do not go well with mottled pur- which reflects its progressive and diverse ex- ple skin. Boys - nor do t-shirts istence. Rather, they choose to regurgitate You’re French right? How does style here compare to and shorts (seriously, shorts!). It and recycle an uninspiring, threadbare and back home? snowed last week. Yes, we’re stu- flaccid view of menswear, which is as rele- Here, fashion is a lot more daring and colourful! I love dents, but surely we can afford coat vant as an article on health which champions French brands for their beautiful cuts and textiles, but check. the eating of fruit. style tends to become monotonous as a lot of people In doing so, they risk causing the reader to stick to ‘safe’ choices. I definitely feel that in the UK, forget how to explore fashion as a way to ex- people risk leaving their comfort zones and are not press themselves, rather than as a way to sar- scared of trying out different ‘personalities’. torially bleat along with the rest of the herd. I sound like I’m going to shred the clothes So we’re a country of eccentrics. Ok...well how has and skin the pets of all those who work at the your look changed since moving to York? ominous sounding magazines. No. Well..I have been ‘inspired’ to keep my tights on dur- French Pharmaceuticals: French I’m not against advice, or ing the winter and to never, ever wear five inches pharmacy brands have long been trend reporting. What I heels when snow shows up. the go to for industry insiders, and am against is inflexible the reason is simple: they target a rules in what is an es- Life lessons are being learnt here. Anyway, I’m not too problem and solve it. For parched sentially creative arena. ‘au fait’ with the up and coming French fashion scene. winter skin, Lait Creme Concen- Oh, and bad journal- What designers or brands would you recommend? tre by Embryolisse, though hard ism. It’s simple: Maje, Sandro & Comptoir des Cotonniers have always to find, is an essential. Eau Ther- I don’t pick up been favourites due to their amazing quality. As for mal Avene, Vichy and La Roche a magazine to an up and coming designer, Julien David (ANDAM Posay, which are all available at read what I’ve prize winner) is definitely someone to follow with his Boots, will also make light work of already read, es- deconstructed, androgynous streetwear collection. that frightful flake. pecially in the same maga- If you could shop anywhere, money no issue, where zine, and I would it be? like what I do Colette; I would advise anyone going to Paris to visit read to spur this concept store/artistic platform, whether you are me to form into fashion or not. It’s like a contemporary art mu- The Monk Strap: Brogues are my own ide- seum which showcases the latest collections from the all good and well, if a little too as about the catwalks, whilst at the same time giving a chance for omnipresent. Diversify your subject. I new designers to have their debuts on display. wardrobe with Monks, which also have a make the perfect alternative, pair of Gu- I’ll be sure to check it out next time I’m down the Rue paired with jeans, chinos or cci shorts, a pair of Saint-Honoré. And finally, a piece of advice for the trousers. Church’s and Russell Peter Jensen shorts, students of York this winter? & Bromley offer classic takes, and a pair of Carven Do not stick to black or you’ll be as gloomy as the but go to Grenson and Mark shorts, which are all weather. And for girls, have a look in the men’s section Mcnairy for something a little more than an inch for oversized jumpers, comfy coats and other (surpris- less ‘boy in man’s clothes’. above the knee (make ingly) more affordable and practical items of clothing. that more than two), and I think that I look bloody good in them, Miranda Larbi especially with my man FASHION EDITOR Benjamin Burns bag, you tossers. M18 www.ey.com/uk/careers 06/11/12 Arts. Illuminating York’s Wonderland Comedian Vic Reeves showcases his talent as an emerging artist as part of Illuminating York. Celia Scruby investigates. ow in its eighth year, Illuminat- ing York is a festival of light us- Ning modern projection technolo- gies to transform the City’s architecture and gardens into a Wonderland. This year’s Illuminating York has been taken to another level, moving away from reflecting York’s heritage, which was its previous focus, and delv- ing into the world of fantasy. The Mu- seum Gardens have been transformed into a curious landscape: giant neon baubles fill the undergrowth while white light appears to drip continuously down the trees. The ruins of St Mary’s Abbey itself are lit up with an array of danc- ing figures within its Gothic arches. The event even has a touch of celebrity, Leeds born comedian Vic Reeves worked with York based artists Bright White Ltd., Bar Lane Studios, and Arup to create this year’s theme “Wonderland”. Although he is best known for his double act with Bob Mortimer on the quiz show Shooting Stars, and subse- quently Lucky Sexy Winners; Reeves has always had a love for painting and began a part-time course at an art college in 1983, where he developed his skills and eventually persuaded a local art gallery to exhibit his work. Given his artistic training, one might find the style of the work he show- PHOTO CREDITS: LILLIE GRANT cased at the festival rather surprising. played out as I saw one of Reeves’ pro- been any opposition to his psychedelic for imagination, there is no prescribed His drawings which were projected onto jections: a blue man with an expanding visions. He responded saying “I didn’t image. We feel there is too much around the Georgian façade of the Yorkshire head shone onto the Yorkshire Museum offer up anything controversial”, pausing today telling you how to respond”. When Museum are unsophisticated and bor- singing “you can take a handful I don’t to add “I mean, I wanted to incorporate asked if they felt the show had set a prec- dering on childlike in appearance. His care, as I go on to strawberry fair. So I a jabberwocky and that didn’t happen edent for future artistic events in York, comments on his work however, add a said to this fellow ‘your cherries soon will and a giant spear of fire on 100 foot tall the artistic team, including Reeves, re- rather subverted element to what you go mouldy and bad’”. The absurdity of hay bales…” Although these comments plied saying that “merging the history of see. As Reeves said, “I actually do know the experience was certainly entertain- should be taken with a pinch of salt, it York’s architecture with everything that’s how to draw well and get proportions ing but also went some way in suspend- is clear Vic Reeves is incredibly proud of new in our illuminations shows off York right but in these drawings I tried to ing the belief of those watching, and so draw as badly as I could”, adding that “I really entering into the idea of the “Won- “I draw because I get a kick out of it. have ideas and if I think they are funny derland”. or peculiar I draw them. I draw because The content of his work is intriguing It’s my drug.” I get a kick out of it. It’s my drug.” in the way he experiments with the idea The musical choices which accom- of child play. His image of a florescent the project; when his 8 year old daughter as a centre of emerging digital media, an pany these projections were also chosen rabbit, animated so its eyes bulge out asked him whether he liked having his approach we hope will carry on.” Speak- by Reeves, and described by one of his rhythmically, is pictured with a wand picture on the Museum he said “yes, I ing to Simon Barker, an artist involved artistic counterparts at Bright White as and a hat, so the sketch reminds you of do”, with serious conviction that relayed in the project, about the legacy of Illumi- “an eclectic mix“, which seems to com- children’s party magic show and halluci- just how much the project means to him. nating York he said “we would really like pliment the nature of his artwork per- nogenic vision all at once. This provoca- The whole creation process for the the Yorkshire Museum to adopt some of fectly. Indeed, one of the artists, Simon tive element is what Reeves describes, event has taken two years, yet it was only the installations into the Museum Gar- Baker, describes sitting down one after- rather ominously as like “the idea of the on the opening night of Illuminating dens permanently”. So whilst the event noon with a box of music given to him sad clown who, underneath his make-up York that the dazzling results of its crea- does contain the element of fantasy, the by Reeves, and playing each track which, is far from what people expect”. Reeves’ tors’ efforts were fully realised and mar- concept of exhibiting contemporary art when combined with Reeves’ drawings, mischievous character further emerged velled at. The team of artists really want- forms in York’s historic settings is some- “turned each illustration into a concept”. when he was asked about the quirki- ed people to interpret the installations thing I believe Illuminating York has A rather striking example of this was ness of his ideas and whether there had themselves, saying “we have left room made a reality.

In Pictures: Illuminating York

PHOTO CREDITS: LILLIE GRANT 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers M19 Home is Where the Art is Best Book Art is increasingly becoming more accessible for the Everyman, and Leeds James Metcalf Art Gallery is one of the most recent leaders in this movement, finds Francesca Butcher A Casual Vacancy oday, with thanks to the estab- lishment of public art, we live in J.K. Rowling Ta country where art is infinitely accessible and enjoyable. Our national **** love affair with all things creative was recently visible in the 2012 ‘Cultural Olympiad’ - an explosion of arts events which boasted a turnout of more than eing the recipi- undertaking. Fortunately it 19.5 million people across the dura- ent of an MBE and is managed with the grace tion of the festival. The liberation of Art BFrance’s Legion one would expect from a that we now know today didn’t happen D’Honneur for her services writer as well-versed as overnight. It all began with the Cultural to children’s literature, it is Rowling. Revolution of the 1960s; the new gener- hard to criticise J. K. Rowl- As a woman she ations of the 60s moved away from clas- ing. Among the handful of has clearly grown from sical, aristocratic impressions of art to acclamatory book prizes, the shy, mousy-looking imagery that was purely popular, mak- not to mention a fortune to former pauper every child ing the viewing and understanding of art rival that of the Royal Fam- idolised for her propen- more enjoyable. From then on art was to ily, this relatively young au- sity to fill them with awe, be owned by the people. thor has certainly proved into a well-kept woman of Recently, Leeds Art Gallery has herself as a gifted storytell- the world, so too has the joined the movement, making sure art HENRY MOORE’S ‘DRAPED SEATED WOMAN’ er. Not only has the Harry language, style, and focus is readily accessible to the public. The to be opened for Moore. Moore declined ing his work in the 100 acres of Coun- Potter series – spanning a of her words. Where once Gallery has over 600 works, including the offer to be a war artist, but, due to try Park during his visits in the 1970s. staggering ten years – re- a book was devoured in Moore’s, up for rent. On four days a year financial problems, he sold a large num- Moore often expressed the influence mained unsurpassed in the a matter of a day or so as the gallery gives the public the opportu- ber of his Shelter Drawings in Britain, to his childhood in Yorkshire had on his world of literature, her new the plot ripped along like nity, for only £4 a month, to pick up and the WAAC as well as private collectors work, saying that he would not change venture has broken down a break-neck rollercoast- take home anything they choose. Being in the United States. This success led his simple upbringing for anyone else’s, even more boundaries, er, it is now necessary to able to take my very own Moore home to Moore’s first New York exhibition in especially the life of an upper class boy though perhaps not the take the time to process brought me to think on the incredible 1943; but this was only the beginning. who was sent away to boarding school, ones she expected. the events of a seemingly legacy left behind by one of North’s ar- By 1948, Moore was a national export, never to experience the rich cultural life It is hard not to love ‘normal’ place with – on tistic giants and his commitment to the he was already considered one of Brit- the industrial town of Castleford pro- J. K. Rowling. Her books the face of it – ‘normal’ in- notion of public art. A champion of art ain’s best artists and in turn was chosen, vided him with. have permeated vital junc- habitants. It is, however, for the people would be proud to have along with Turner, to represent Britain He took much of his inspiration, for tures in the life of almost anything but ‘normal’, as his name associated with the gallery’s at the Venice Biennial, under the title of both his materials, and the subject of every member of my gener- life so rarely seems to be in picture lending scheme. Moore was, and “Great British Artists, Living or Dead.” his works, from landscapes and nature. ation and, though it might spite of the appellation so still is, a revered patron of public art, Moore won the prize for sculpture. He once said: ‘Perhaps what influenced now be a hard fact to swal- wantonly pinned to every with his works on display to the public Born in Castleford, Yorkshire, in me most over wanting to do sculpture low, many young adults cross-section of modern in over 30 locations in Britain alone. 1898, he arguably became the most influ- in the open-air, and relate my sculpture (myself included) ravaged society; and, as Rowling His abstract modernist sculptures are so every book featuring the unfurls her magnificent commonplace that they almost become boy wizard and pined with tale of opposite forces set invisible to us. The sculpture, Time-Life “Moore was conscious to make sure that art was not starvation for the next in- in perpetual and tortuous Screen, installed in 1953 on Bond Street, stalment. While her new motion, this seems to be is passed under by thousands of people just for those who could pay for it.” book is for adults, Rowl- one of her very many moral a day; yet it is certain that it is not fre- ing’s capacity to fill the messages. quently appreciated for what it truly is. corners of your mind with That said, it is a Moore was conscious to make sure ential man Yorkshire has ever produced. to landscape, comes from my youth in adoration for the twists of book absolutely full of that art was not just for those who Moore rose from a humble background, Yorkshire; seeing the Yorkshire Moors.’ her deceptively meander- everything. It bursts at could pay for it. His sculpture Old Flo, as the son of a coal miner, to count peo- Moore believed that the best and only ing (and painfully con- the seams with the sheer or Draped Seated Woman (as it is most ple such as Kenneth Clark, the interna- way to view his sculptures was outdoors: structed) plot, alongside volume of characters, and commonly known), was installed in the tionally influential art historian, among ‘I would rather have a piece of my sculp- her hatred for the duplicity with everything that hap- middle of the tower blocks of Stifford his greatest supporters. Clark once said ture put in a landscape…than in the of her Machiavellian char- pens – to each of them in Estate, Stepney, east London, a place to the writer Stephen Spender that if the most beautiful building I know.’ Moore’s acters, has never left her. turn and, ultimately, as a with some of the greatest depravation in human race found themselves in a situ- obsession with the outdoors truly estab- Concerning the now cohesive mass – the reader Britain. Moore, an avid socialist, made a ation where they had to find an ambas- lished his work as public art. He was al- vacant slot on the parish is almost overwhelmed. statement with Old Flo that his art was sador to represent the planet, they could ways very concerned with public acces- council of a small, middle- With regular breaks be- for everyone without exception. choose no better than Henry Moore. sibility to his work, though maintained class township called Pag- tween chapters (which It was during World War Two that Moore’s works can be seen in over some balance, being wary to never let ford, The Casual Vacancy are mercifully short) and Moore truly made a name for himself. He 200 locations in 38 countries across the public art compromise his artistic virtue. does not sound half as partitions throughout the was no longer able to make money from world. However, the largest collection It is certain that Moore would be thrilling as the exploits of book, digesting The Cas- teaching or selling his sculptures, so he of Moore’s bronzes in Europe is here in proud of the legacy he has left upon everyone’s favourite awk- ual Vacancy proves quite found artistic inspiration elsewhere. He Yorkshire, in the Yorkshire Sculpture Yorkshire, Britain and the world. The ward, yet magically-gifted, as worth-while as the first was morbidly inspired by the tragic in- Park (YSP). The YSP bronzes represent rise in public art, starting with Moore, teenager. Nevertheless, as Harry Potter did fifteen volvement of the powerless civilians in Moore at the peak of his career; the col- has made art how it can be seen it today. Rowling turns her percep- years ago, if with slightly the war and he privately produced more lection of bronzes were created between Anybody is able to enjoy the art that they tive gaze to the social prob- more effort. Rowling has than 300 sketches of their experiences, 1955 and 1985, a period when Moore want, anywhere, anytime, anyplace: in- lems affecting a nation of managed, in the face of showing his art to be not just for the peo- worked on a monumental scale. By the cluding having a Henry Moore in their labels and stereotypes, the overwhelming odds and ple, but of them as well. It was only after end of the 1970s there were some forty student room, as I have had the privilege thrill has rather worryingly the constant challenge of one of his sketchbooks caught the eye exhibitions a year featuring Moore’s of doing. The streets, the galleries, and remained intact when fol- living up to the shadow of Kenneth Clark, who was Chairman work. Moore was the first patron of the home is where the art is - or should lowing her now elegant of Harry Potter – much as of the War Artists Advisory Committee the YSP, which opened in 1977, and he be, if we all knew the opportunities and poised sentences. The Conan Doyle constantly (WAAC), that a new creative vein was expressed a profound interest in plac- available to experience it. scope of the novel is enor- attempted escape from mous. Following the lives Holmes – to grow with her of teenagers and the elder- readers. This is not an easy Editor’s Picks. Mary O’Connor ly in equal portions (with thing to do, and some of the in-betweeners she ought to 10 November 2012 – 22 December 2012 Tues 6 November – Sat 10 November 2012 of the middle-age range be applaud- thrown in for good meas- ed for it. The New School House Gallery, York Grand Opera House York Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat ure) - and, in no particular Transformations order, documenting do- An exciting new show is to take place at the New School Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s hit musical is due to mestic abuse, rape, and House Gallery, which combines artwork and sculpture by come to York this November, a perfect pre-Christmas treat. drugs alongside the dra- Helen Chadwick as well as poetry by Costa Book Award Retelling the biblical story of the boy who dreamed, his matic school-work-home winner, Jo Shapcott. The show includes work by other local amazing coat of many colours and his scheming brothers, it (and council) life of every artists, in addition to work by Brazilian artist Von Calhau. is a story that never loses its vibrancy and appeal. character without discrim- ination, it is a mammoth M20 www.ey.com/uk/careers 06/11/12 Music. Reggae-metal-jungle-punk Skindred frontman Benji Webbe talks to Alex Swadling about Wales, the pub and the Pope

hen I walk into a room I want “Wpeople to think - ‘who the fuck- ing hell does he think he is?’” Benji Webbe, Skindred’s front man, has never quite fitted in. Growing up as a black kid in Wales wasn’t especially easy for him either, but Webbe thrives on this feeling of difference. Back in the mid-90s, Webbe was one of the driving forces of the rock ex- plosion in Newport (which Spin Maga- zine consequently dubbed as ‘The New Seattle’) when he created Dub War. Bad Brains may have done something similar in the 80s, but Webbe didn’t just bring punk and reggae together, he also threw some metal, jungle and dance music in and created something that was not just innovative, but something that people loved. Their record label thought other- wise and wouldn’t allow the band to re- cord. Dub War were forced to disband, but out of their ashes came Skindred. Still brandishing Dub War’s ragga-metal ethos, Skindred have released four al- bums over the past ten years. Their debut Babylon charted No.1 in the U.S. Reggae Albums Chart and their most recent of- fering Union Black has been voted in the Top 10 albums of the year in both Big Cheese and Metal Hammer magazines. They’ve also toured worldwide to sold- PHOTO CREDIT: GARY WEBBER out venues and played the main stages at the likes of Download, Sonisphere and flattering outfits. Squint and it could be Maybe she’ll never hear the record, but Above: Benji Web- going to London for me was amazing. Boardmasters. Alongside this, they’ve Will.i.am. “I get my inspiration from the it’s just an outlet. I sort of channel out be knows how to Believe it or not I enjoyed getting on the recently been recognised with the “De- Pope, Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson. things that upset me through Skindred dress. tube every morning,” laughs Webbe. votion Award” by Kerrang, and were also They dress outrageous and they have a and it’s an amazing outlet to do that. Union Black also seem to be more awarded as “Best Live Band” at Metal pretty cool message. The Pope? Some I’m inspired by everything: I’m inspired patriotic as a result – opening with a Hammer’s Golden Gods earlier this year of his outfits are ridiculous!” Webbe by movies, by talking to an old lady in a heavily vocoded dance version of the – the ultimate middle finger to their for- describes earnestly while I try my hard- shop about how things used to be, from national anthem which old Lizzy would mer record label. est not to laugh. “I just think if you’re Mozart to the Sex Pistols. If it’s got at- surely give the thumbs up to. “I wouldn’t “With or without them arseholes a frontman going on stage you have to titude and a message then I can be in- say I’m proud of being British” he muses. I’d still be doing it” Webbe lilts in a soft bring something different you know – a spired by that” Webbe chatters. “I mean, “But I’m very happy of my father’s choice Welsh accent. “God bless record labels, t-shirt and a pair of jeans? I wear that I’m not scared to write lyrics like ‘shake to step out of the West Indies and I’m but you know sometimes I just think going to the corner shop.” He is so sweet, ya ass cos it looks good’, because it’s all very glad he came to the UK and that I they’re a bunch of buffoons who can’t but I wish he knew how easy an inappro- about the party at the end of the day. grew up here.” I ask Webbe how he feels even tap in time.” I get the impression priate paedophile joke would be to make But say for instance if someone found a about growing up in Wales. He cuts me this is one of his well-rehearsed lines at this point. Union Black booklet and picked up and off. “I don’t do Wales, Scotland and Ire- that he uses down the pub, but I don’t land, I just think we’re all British. I don’t mind. Webbe is friendly and talkative do all that and a lot of Welsh people and without him, I’m not sure Skindred don’t like that I say that, but I can only would be as successful and likeable as “I get my inspiration from the Pope, Elvis be truthful and I don’t care.” Webbe is a they are. man with strong views and a strong pres- With a sound made for partying, Presley and Michael Jackson” ence, but in spite of the this the band still Webbe and his band really come to life work as a collective. “I know people say on-stage. “You know what makes Skin- More than his ridiculous clothes started reading the lyrics, even if they I’m the face of Skindred, but this band is dred’s gigs is the people” he says firmly. and his band’s unique music, what really hadn’t heard the music, I’d love the lyrics a 25% split all the way down.” “I come with the intention for people strikes me about Webbe is how honest to push them through whatever they’re Even so, Webbe is undoubtedly the just to forget about their bullshit lives and kind-hearted he seems to be. While going through, you know.” most intriguing of the bunch. A vet- for ten minutes and really tune into the Skindred’s music has often been upbeat Having recorded their first three al- eran of the genre, Webbe is also now energy that’s Skindred’s creating. It’s and light-hearted in topic, their latest bums in the U.S. perhaps the more seri- a DJ and working on his own reggae not just about playing, it’s about me as album, Union Black, exposes Webbe’s ous topics come from being grounded in and bluegrass albums. “People are go- a frontman freeing people’s minds and concern for those around him. “Well Britain and the community he grew up ing to be like ‘what the fuck, Benji do- once their mind is free their ass is gon- when I go to the pub, and I go to the in. “It was nice to be in the studio with a ing bluegrass? I’ve got to listen to that’ na follow, and after their ass it’s gonna pub quite a lot, I listen to a lot of con- producer who was from England. It was which is awesome” he laughs. “I’m just be legs and then pits [mosh, not arm] versations and that. I mean, the world’s nice to be in a room with people all from excited by being able to do all of these and dancing and shaking and moving.” got all this madness, but I’m just more the same culture” he explains. “I mean I things. There are a lot of musicians out Webbe also provides visual entertain- into writing about my street - like the live in Wales—when I say I live in Wales, there who would love to be in the posi- ment, and relishes his role as frontman woman down the street whose husband I don’t mean I live on a farm with sheep tion we’re in and I don’t take for granted in some very bold, not to mention un- has been abusing her for thirty years. and stuff—but I live in a small city and where we are.”

REVERB. ““Don’t encourage little girls to get dressed up, to have cupcakes on their tits to get people to lick them off”.”

Crystal Castles’ Alice Glass lashes out against the society’s sexualisation of children. 06/11/12 www.ey.com/uk/careers M21 Riding the Rapids Reviews. Jakarta, Jessie Ware and Jamaica: Sam Briggs talks to Miles Haugh- Artist: Dan Le Sac & Friends ton of North London three piece Theme Park Date: 28th October PHOTO CREDIT: FRED BUTLER Venue: The Duchess e all actually really dis- Review: Isaac B-D “Wlike theme parks. I’ve been on a rollercoaster once and it was honestly one of the worst experiences of my life”, says Miles Haughton, guitarist with the per- Without a Pip in sight, Dan ambles to haps surprisingly named Theme the stage. Cap in hand, sporting some Park. “It came about when our sort of animal hood (a recurring theme, can wear a tail, bruv, the world is your bassist went to this place called we discover), he examines the vast ar- Oyster…TFL”. The Transport for Lon- the Jesus Theme Park in South ray of switches and dials in front of don joke largely lost on locals, but pre- America and wanted to be called him, nods contentedly and begins. served in print for posterity. that. We thought we’d drop the The set opens with ‘Play Most impressive was Le Sac’s Jesus. Not quite sure it was for Along’, the most successful track on the final offering: a four-minute, impro- us”. album, Space Between The Words; his vised encore. The sheer speed with Despite only having been first major release since he parted ways which he moved between panels, from in existence for just over a year, with the dramatically-bearded Scroo- this button to that slider and the inabil- (“our first gig was on August bius Pip. The crowd, although not the ity to determine exactly why whatever 31st last year”), Theme Park largest the venue’s seen, are captivated he’d just done had caused the sound to have successfully emerged from as the soaring, smokey vocals of Sarah evolve was testament to the genuine the hype cauldron, implanting of the tracks’ tropical feel whilst thorpe, the band’s genesis is clear- Williams White cut through the dense skill that lies behind his work. themselves on numerous lists of maintaining a firm eye on the ly traceable to this scene. Howev- verdure of the hip-hop-inflected, elec- More than a ‘laptop musician’, promising new artists. “It was dance floor – more like the sultry er, the last year has seen the band tro-pop soundscape. to witness the precision and technical quite a surprise,” Haughton elu- swing of the rapids than the full transported around the globe to The ‘friends’ are a gift that ability exercised in the creation of live, cidates, “it wasn’t something throttling screams of Nemesis. play shows far from home. “We’ve keeps on giving: Merz provides a rocki- layered and rhythmically complex mu- we ever expected.” When asked When asking him where the just come back from Jakarta, er tone whilst Josh, of ‘Benin City’, kicks sic is to watch a real instrumentalist about whether any of this pres- best place to listen to a Theme which was a really good show,” up the energy, dragging the crowd from at work. Dan might not be the lyricist sure filters through to the band, Park record is, Miles replies, “In says Miles of their recent travel to electro-swaying towards full-blown his bearded friend is, but his mastery he seems relaxed. “We quite like a sweaty nightclub. Somewhere the bizarre line-up of Indonesia’s moshing. Quote of the evening: Josh of live production sets him distinctly it when people look at us! We just you can dance”. Any particular fa- Soul Nation festival. “They had who, dressed as a fox, announced “If I apart. try not to think about it. We just vourite places, I ask? “We haven’t some weird clubs over there. They do what comes naturally and just been able to party for a while be- just played these dance remixes of hope we don’t disappoint [the cause of all the shows – we’ve just English pop stuff and everyone Artist: Hadouken! critics]!” been where the shows have been! goes wild”. He points to shows Date: 29th October The press release for the Haven’t been in London for a long at Ibiza Rocks and the Reading Venue: The Duchess band’s upcoming “Two Hours” time.” and Leeds festivals as highlights Review: Chris Morris EP contains the mission of front- The forthcoming EP also for the band so far. With their man Miles to create “an una- contains the band’s take on three eponymous debut album due in bashed pop statement. I want it varying alternative staples, vary- January, helmed by Luke Smith’s to be appreciated as a pop album, ing from their cover of recently production duties, the next year is not the debut of some East Lon- robbed Mercury award nominee likely to only amplify their rising With each month that passes, anoth- don band making leftfield stuff.” Jessie Ware’s “Wildest Moments”, prospect. er handful of hastily thrown-together In an age of proliferating genre, to Hot Chip’s “Ready for the Floor” Having already shared the bass and synth songs find the upper that gave a choice – either embrace, or however, how easy is it to remain and, perhaps most surprisingly, stage with Graham Coxon for an reaches of the Top 40, and the genre’s get the fuck out. I chose the former. so purely pop-orientated without the National’s “Bloodbuzz Ohio”. Oxjam set and Bloc Party on their origins (and pioneers) drift further ‘Oxygen’ and ‘Mic Check’ pro- succumbing to mainstream ten- “We didn’t want to pick ones that recent UK tour, the band’s pro- toward the horizon; if ever a remind- vided familiarity, and then came ‘Bad dencies? “We just like to do what directly influenced the band,” gress after just a year is impres- er was needed as to where this noise Signal’ – a modernised, dubstepping we do and hope that people like says Miles, “as people would just sive. was before new found popularity on head-wobber that samples The Su- it,” says Marcus. “I think when be bored by that. We just picked I ask about what band he daytime radio, it was now. premes’ ‘You Keep Me Hangin’ On’ (defi- Miles said that he was thinking things we like”. He goes on to pin- would like Theme Park’s career Hadouken!, the name given nitely worth a listen). ‘That Boy, That more about the songs, and hav- point the recent Bombay Bicycle to resemble. “Two Door Cinema to a violent move on ‘Street Fighter’ Girl’, known for its lyrical reference of ing strong songs first and fore- Club and Wild Beasts’ Smother Club I have a lot of respect for, and this equally riotous quintet, pro- “indie Cindy”, came later, and the pro- most. That’s the most important as two stand out records of the apart from liking their music. vided this reality check through a set claiming that one song was “written in thing, rather than going for an last year. Indeed, the band came It wasn’t going swimmingly for of pure aggression that never threat- York” was a nice, if not arse-licky, touch, aesthetic and writing the songs out of the same North London them at first, but they kept go- ened to lose momentum (aside from too. to fit it”. school that spawned the former, ing, and now they’ve become one the front man pausing to instruct This night was an education The laid-back, sun-soaked alongside Fryars, Yuck and Cajun of the biggest indie bands around a guy dressed as Bane to “get in the of where bass has been and where it be- feel of recent grooves “Jamaica” Dance Party. with lots of hard work. It’s nice to fucking circle pit”). longs – in the hands of those pushing and “Two Hours” definitely fit Consisting of brothers Miles see when something good doesn’t Within minutes the shit-ton boundaries, blending it with urban gen- this description. Pulsing beats and Marcus, alongside school come through straight away, but of dry-ice cleared and the bass re- res and generally making a progressive underpin the swirling melodies friend and guitarist Oscar Man- after they’re persistent”. bounding off the blackened walls and sound – and although Hadouken! may sweat-soaked teens was so hard I be- be a name slowly losing recognition, gan to feel nauseous, and it was then what they do remains wholly unique, Local Spotlight. I realised I was in the midst of a gig yet unfortunately underrated. herever we are, what spent much of my life thinking val culminates on Saturday with we hear is mostly noise. about—and actually working a series of free performances all Nouse Playlist. WWhen we ignore it, it with—John Cage, and this is a day around the city of York. Visit: disturbs us. When we listen to it, wonderful opportunity to pass on www.gettingnowhere.org Goodbyes we find it fascinating. whatever I can to a new genera- Dan Watts & Rory Foster Rory Foster How To Dress Well – Struggle John Cage is most famous tion of creative performers”. As this year’s editorial team brings With endings come new beginnings, for his silent piece 4’33’’ and The first night kicks off on its run to a spectacular end, we’ve and soon a whole new team will be for sticking the contents of his Wednesday 14th November in the brought along a playlist to sob along attempting to lay up the paper without toolbox into a piano. His works University Concert Hall with a to. Grab some Kleenex and come messing everything up. But don’t are just as effective and strik- spectacular performance of Con- ing now as when they were first certo for Prepared Piano and Or- mourn with us. worry guys, I could never find high performed. Even today, his com- chestra with soloist Nicky Losseff resolution pictures either. positions divide opinion and in- and performances continuing Jeff Buckley – Last Goodbye fluence modern-day artists in all until late. The second evening in- This is it. The big one. Sam’s limitless Mariah Carey – I Can’t Live (If Liv- forms of media. cludes a complete performance of charisma, and Ally’s ability to do the ing Is Without You) “Getting Nowhere” is an in- Song Books on the new Hesling- majority of the work, gone in a flash. If this is the case, I think you may be ternational festival celebrating ton East Campus; the first per- I’m breaking down just thinking about slightly over-attached to the Nouse the centenary of John Cage, the formance of its kind to take place it. editorial team. You’ve always got Cir- largest of its kind in the UK. It is in the unique space of the Ron culation to cry yourself to sleep with. organised by students and staff Cooke Hub. On the third night, Chicago – If You Leave Me Now at The University of York. The soloist Nicky Losseff is joined by This song just screams heartbreak, R Kelly – The World’s Greatest students are under the guidance Gamelan expert Sekar Petak for total loss. Yes, we are leaving you now. Journalism will never see such heady of leading Cage expert Professor Cage’s Concerto for Piano with No, we won’t write for the Yorker. peaks again. That’s a fact. William Brooks who says “I’ve Gamelan Orchestra. The festi- M22 06/11/12

8 - 11 November Follow the Nouse coverage of the festival this weekend online at Film. www.nouse.co.uk/muse/film, and on Twitter @nousefilm Aesthetica Short Film Festival Now in its second year, Elle Hoppe interviews Cherie Federico, festival director, about one of the UK’s most unique film events, using the heritage of the city of York to re-engage with contemporary cinema. How many years has the festival sons. For example, there are a number of been going on? films in the drama strand that really cap- As a festival, this is our second ture the essence of what it means to make year, however Aesthetica Magazine is a short film – telling a complete story an internationally distributed art and that captures the attention, emotions culture publication, and part of our and imagination of viewers quite quick- remit has always been film. As the edi- ly. The thriller section features films that tor, and someone who has always had combine the intensity of this genre with a great interest in films, I am looking excellent cinematography and narra- for a narrative that will move my read- tive. The experimental strand showcases ers. Three years ago, we launched an films that weave all of the above, but also initiative for filmmakers to send their take the ideas behind making a film and works in for possible inclusion on a experiments with them to make works DVD which would be distributed with that challenge and inspire audiences. the Christmas issue of Aesthetica and Each genre has its own stand-out films to win a screening package at five UK and characteristics, so it’s impossible to festivals. This initiative was a massive name just one, and the thrill of the fes- success - we had just under 1000 films tival comes from trying to catch as many submitted, which was amazing but also of the genres as possible. presented a problem because a DVD is Which venues do you believe have only two hours long, and only holds 13 the most cinematic atmosphere? films. There were at least an additional Each venue has its own unique ap- 150 that I could have included, so it was peal, and I think it’s really important to difficult to have to reject them. Later note that we’re screening films in unex- that year I did a talk at BAFTA as part pected places. For instance, we take a of the Rushes Soho Shorts Film Festi- Medieval hall, like Barley Hall, and for val, and on the train ride back to York I three days we turn it into a cinema. The came up with the idea of running a short same goes for the Mansion House; this film festival across the city. I realised building is stunning, and is typically that there hadn’t been a city-wide film A SELECTION OF THE FILMS SCREENED, COURTESY OF AESTHETICA associated with the Lord Mayor, but to festival before, so I thought it was a bril- use this space in a new way by screen- liant idea to exhibit all these wonderful the smooth running of the entire event. are moving through the city. This creates ing films creates a completely different films (from 25 countries) in a new and It takes a year to plan each event, as an event that has people interacting with atmosphere. This is one of the reasons exciting way. there are a lot of very detailed and spe- each other, and one of the most exciting why ASFF is so unique on the UK fes- What is the main goal of the fes- cific tasks involved in setting up a city- things is the links that are made and tival circuit. tival? wide film festival. the conversations that occur between How important do you think it is ASFF is a platform for engaging How well has the festival been re- the people in attendance. Last year, we to promote short films? with new cinema. ASFF champions ceived in previous years? had filmmakers from South Africa who Short film is one of the most excit- and celebrates filmmaking talent from ASFF has received a large amount started working with filmmakers from ing genres. For a filmmaker to be able to across the world, spanning all genres of media coverage in The Guardian, The the Netherlands as a direct result of the captivate, entertain and engage an audi- from Comedy to Drama, Animation to Yorkshire Post, The York Press, Empire, festival and it’s great to see these collabo- ence in under 25 minutes is a real skill. Documentary, Thriller to Experimen- and Short List, among others, and on rations forming. The other thing that is so great about tal. Screening over 200 films across 15 Look North and various blogs and online The festival seems to have ex- these filmmakers is that many of them venues offers visitors a vast amount of sites. We had people travel from across panded since last year. Is this some- will go on to make features in the future, choice, and an opportunity to experi- the world last year – USA, Canada, Aus- thing you hope to continue next year? which will no doubt become part of the ence new types and styles of filmmaking. tralia, South Africa, France, Germany, We have expanded the programme cinematic landscape. Making a short There are several screenings planned for Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the Nether- significantly to include guest screenings film really shows a filmmaker’s commit- the evenings, plus guest programmes of lands and many other countries - as well from BAFTA, Warp Films and Yorkshire ment to cinema and, for this reason, I BAFTA winning and nominated shorts as hundreds of York residents. The feed- Film Archive, as well as a host of master- am so passionate about these works. Not and animation; a Warp Films shorts back from our audiences was fantastic classes across two venues (York St John only do they engage, but they also span programme of some of their earlier and many of them are paying us a repeat University and York Theatre Royal). the genres, creating a really exciting pro- work featuring people like Paddy Con- visit this year. There’s also a networking evening and gramme. The festival also presents a rare sidine, and a beautiful programme from What attracted you to holding a panel discussion called Meet the Film- opportunity for audiences to spot future the Yorkshire Film Archive which cel- festival of this nature in York? makers at St William’s College, as well as filmmaking talent and see the early ebrates early cinematic works. The goal York is a fantastic city; it’s one of the Opening and Closing Night Ceremo- work of those who will go on to become of this year’s festival is to celebrate inde- the UK’s most beautiful and historic nies. Make sure that you also pop into big names in the industry, so I think it’s pendent filmmaking, expand choice for locations with a lot of hidden gems. 1331, where everyone will be relaxing hugely important. viewers, offer opportunities for engage- Holding a film festival across the city, and chatting between screenings. Plans Away from the festival are there ment with industry professionals and and utilising its iconic buildings, offers for next year are already underway and any filmmakers you really admire? encourage everyone to have a great time residents the chance to experience some there are exciting developments afoot; I There are simply too many to an- along the way. of the city’s famous buildings such as can’t reveal too much but we are always swer that question in full. I like different What is your role in the festival? Barley Hall, the Guildhall and the Man- looking at positive ways to move the filmmakers and films for different rea- In general, it’s my responsibility to sion House in a different light. ASFF is event forward. sons. Sometimes you’ll watch a film and organise the venues, programme the a great opportunity to re- engage with What genre of films are you most it will recall a certain era in your life, so films, direct the making of the reels, the city’s heritage, but in the context of excited for? that film becomes a part of who you are plan the marketing strategy, look after contemporary cinema. Holding the fes- That is a really difficult question be- just like a good book or your favourite health and safety and basically ensure tival over 15 venues means that people cause I like all of them for different rea- band. It fluctuates all the time. Editor’s Picks Drama Comedy Animation Documentary

Hollow Your Health Ltd Slow Derek Moeder Rob Sorrenti Amanda Leissner Dan Ojari Emma Thompson-McLeod (Future Time Pictures) (Everyone We Know) (Royal College of Art) (University of Technology Sydney) UK, 2011, 20m Sweden, 2011, 7m UK, 2011, 8m 12s Australia, 2011, 13m 29s Hollow is a sensitive observation of the na- Schools, nursing homes and hospitals are The tale of Derek, an office worker, as he A daughter’s attempt to make sense of the ture of addiction being auctioned off to the lowest bidder struggles with the true speed of planet Earth tragedies that live inside her mother 06/11/12 M23

To see the full How To video for these Experiments, go to Food & Drink. www.nouse.co.uk/muse/food-drink

The Experiment. Polish Pierogi The Experiment. Hana Teraie-Wood Whisky with a rnst Stavro Blofeld, the scar-faced a medium heat, until the onions have kitten loving archenemy of 007 slightly caramelised. Twist Ewould have been rather partial to 3. Mix the onions in with the Neil Johnston a batch of pierogi after a day of world mashed potato and add in the cheese. domination. That’s if the prolific James Season to taste. Bond villain kept sight of his Polish To make the Pierogi: roots. Pierogi - or Polish ravioli - are a 1. Roll out the proved dough on a type of dumpling that are somewhat a floured surface until 1cm thin. If you national treasure. Stuffed with a variety don’t have a rolling pin, use a wine bot- of sweet or savoury ingredients varying tle. from a Bolognese-esque to a homely 2. Cut out circular shapes using the blackcurrant and ricotta, the half-moon bottom of a wine bottle or a cookie cut- dough shapes are only the beginning of ter. The circles of dough should be just these exciting treats. larger than the palm of your hand. This recipe is an example of a veg- Ingredients: 3. Holding a cut out of dough in etarian – and therefore cash friendly - your left hand, fill with a teaspoon of fill- version of the Polish dish. When I took 500g flour ing in the centre and then fold over the to making these dumplings I was suffer- 125ml water dough into a half moon. ing from a rolling pin deficit. I was later 4. Squeeze the folded ends of the informed of the use of a wine bottle as an 3 large eggs dough until they merge, then create a adequate substitute. Ill equipped cooks 2 tbsp sour cream crimp by pinching a bit of pastry with take note. 250g peeled and sliced baking potatoes thumb and finger and folding to the left. To make the dough: 5. Boil 6 pierogis a go in a deep pan 1. Combine the flour, eggs, sour 1 small onion, chopped of boiling salted water. Leave aside to cream and half the water in a large bowl. 1 clove garlic, minced drain. 2. Sprinkle flour on your worktop 6. Fry the boiled pierogis in a shal- Ingredients: and knead the mixture for 3-5 minutes. butter and olive oil low pan of hot oil, butter and a bit of Use the dropping technique by lifting dried thyme thyme. Fry on both sides until golden Glenmorangie 10 year old single malt 1/2 tumbler Bulmers apple cider the mixture off the surface and dropping 125g grated cheddar brown and crispy. Serve with the sauce. it repeatedly. For the sauce: Orange peels 3. Put the dough in a large bowl, For the sauce: 1. Melt the butter on a medium heat, 1-2 tsp vanilla extract cover with cling film and leave in a warm 3 tbsp butter and fry the garlic. place to prove for half an hour. It should 2. As the garlic becomes aromatic, double in size. 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped stir in the flour to form a roux (paste). ith Bond fever gripping the na- For the filling: 2 tbsp flour Stir for 30 seconds. tion, perhaps it’s time to drink 1. Boil the potatoes in salted water 125ml chicken stock 3. Slowly add in the chicken stock, Wsomething more stylish. How- and mash. and then the sour cream. Season with ever we’re not going for the Martini. In- 2. Fry the onions, garlic and thyme 125ml sour cream salt and white pepper. spired by one of the most famous Bonds, in a good amount of butter and oil on 1 tbsp fresh or dried chives 4. Mix in the chives. it’s time for a whisky based drink from 5. Pour the sauce over the Pierogi to Sean Connery’s home country. serve. While many of us like a dram, the The Review. The Blind Swine acquired taste means many don’t like it neat. A whisky cocktail should hopefully Benjamin Burns hold a wider appeal, taking the harshness ur nine course tasting menu at An azuleta gin and tonic - my fa- out of it. The Blind Swine, created by Mi- vourite cocktail of the evening - tasted A Hot Toddy doesn’t sound very ap- Ochael O’Hare and Chris Trundle, like a parma violet, and marked the be- pealing, and while it is normally quite en- was booked three weeks in advance. We ginning of our four desserts. A “steak tar- joyable it’s not the most interesting drink. waited, wondering if a restaurant with tare”, made from watermelon and man- Usually it consists of just whisky, hot wa- an approach to food both authentically go, which was bathed in a calcic bath of ter and sugar. This week’s experiment will erudite and experimental could really sodium alginate to resemble an egg yolk, try and make it more exciting. exist in York. made the perfect palette cleanser. This We arrived at eight, blind to what was followed by a pine souffle, teamed The method: was coming, and enjoyed a cocktail at with salt caramel ice cream and edible 1. Peel the orange and put a few strips the bar. The meal included six more, pear perfume: an addictive cross be- in the glass - make sure it’s a tumbler. crafted by James Wreglesworth, which tween a trip to a forest, Jo Malone, and 2. Pour in your whisky. The type of matched those at Evil Eye for strength, City Screen. Our foodie epic closed with whisky used depends on your own pref- adding swinishness to my blindness, and a bowl of olive oil and vanilla infused erence. Luckily I still had some Glenmo- rendering my memory hazy. nitro-oxide, from which came choco- rangie left so it was ideal. While malt is A soft poached quail’s egg with a late eclairs, paired with a bespoke coffee best, even a blended whisky should be leek and truffle reduction opened the blend and chocolate truffles. fine, or supermarket own brand malt meal. Eaten out of the shell, it made the In summary, the excellence of The could even work since it is not being perfect, light introduction, and none of Blind Swine transcends its unexpected sipped neat. the flavours overwhelmed. A mint ju- location. Every course, surprising and 3. Pour the vanilla extract in and stir. lep cocktail followed. I can tell you that though delicious, was rendered drab: we impressive as they are, smacks of a chef 4. Heat a saucepan and pour in the there was mint in it. were at this point spoiled by reductions with an imagination and skill which, cider, heating it until it is hot enough to My cynical side revelled at the sight and emulsions. combined with true fervency for food, warm up the rest of the drink. of what I assumed was a tired Jamie Following a bowl of pea ice-cream transforms cookery in to an artistic sci- 5. Pour into the tumbler and give it a Oliver-esque salt pot, but was shocked topped with hot pea soup was another ence. Alcoholic offerings are equally quick stir. It should be about half whisky into a submission by a pot of actual soil standout: red mullet atop chorizo ri- adroit, the waiting staff are erudite yet and half cider but you can do more of ei- and plants. Yum. Shock turned to de- sotto. A typically good combination was Address: refreshingly relaxed, and the playlist - ther depending on how strong you want light upon discovering that both were made outstanding by the texturally sur- 24 Swinegate including the likes of Thin Lizzy - makes it to be. not only edible, but delicious: carrots prising addition of dried corn and a ham the perfect complement. Considerations and radishes in a rye soil, underneath fat membrane surrounding the mullet, Price Range: of price cheapen what is undoubtedly an Although whisky and cider mixed which was a horseradish emulsion. In as well as a delightfully crisp Aperol sour £40-50 essential and priceless experience, but together sounds like the beginnings of a terms of both clean flavour and a play- (crisp as in refreshing, not crisp as in ‘we £42 per-person is, in my opinion, good dirty pint, it actually works quite well. fully muddy presentation, this was with- subjected the drink to a series of chemi- value to the point of robbery. If I were to If you’re wanting to be more adven- out doubt one of the most exciting and cal experiments, turning it into an actual suggest anything, it would be that some turous, lemon can also be used or perhaps memorable courses. Again, it was in no crisp’). The main course - duck with a comfortable seating be introduced to the try pear cider instead of apple or cinna- way over-facing, quashing any worries date reduction and potatoes cooked in bar area: the cocktails deserve no less, mon instead of vanilla. This is a simple that there was a vomitorium out back. decaying plant matter - though not as and I would have enjoyed another azu- drink that can have many delicious vari- Snail bread with garlic parsley butter, inventive, was perfectly executed. leta gin and tonic. ations. 06/11/12 M24 www.ey.com/uk/careers The Final Say. Abandon your manners Cabby’s Corner Joshua Boswell This week, we asked sean what he thought anners are so tedious. What fun it would replies to the tutor. And even when the answer is of the student antics at halloween. be to slam each door behind you, regard- clear as day, when nothing has ever been so obvi- nobody seemed to scare him that much. Mless of the book-laden whelp tottering ous to you, as an absolute, innate, and universal along behind, arms so full that a door handle is truth, you still tentatively ask, ‘is it this? I might simply not an option. How liberating, when asked be wrong…’ because, we are told, nobody likes a how I am by someone I barely know, to refuse to know-it-all. reciprocate the inquiry. ‘And how are you? Oh, well Of course there are some uncouth so-and-sos I am glad you’re well; my day would have been who disregard this nuanced code of conduct. Be- completely ruined if you’d said anything other than ware the active contributor to the seminar, usually I’m telling you now, the vacuous response with which everyone always wearing a Stetson and/or a head brace, showering dressing up as a black replies. It’s so great that we’ve shared this precious the congregation with spittle and opinions. Pick “ moment together.’ your battles carefully; there is nothing to be won cat is not scary. But the worst more of manners that clambers by entering into debate with this cunning sophist. up from the festering pit of social niceties is the If you want to abide by the seminar etiquette keep Seminar. your head down, say as little as possible, and play sean, haxby “ The first rule of the Seminar is, you don’t talk up your boredom. Cabby for 4 years about the Seminar. Huddled pointlessly together But why are we so desperate to appear aloof? outside the (usually empty) room with all the jo- Perhaps deep down it’s because we all hate each viality of a STI clinic queue, puerile small talk is other, and being forced into a small room togeth- forced out like the painful produce of a diet severe- er crystallises that misanthropic revulsion. I think ly lacking in fibre. Each grabs at something – any- there’s something wrong with you if you don’t ab- thing – to converse over apart from the impend- hor me already, and we’re only 400 words into our ing apocalypse. But it wouldn’t matter, because in dysfunctional relationship. But there’s more to it the awkward hush, conversations are whispered than that. so quietly I doubt either participant can even hear In society, and in school, we’re rarely taught themselves, let alone the other, making it about as to be assertive. So much effort is focused on learn- productive as a radio play starring Helen Keller ing to synthesise, compromise, and accommodate and Ludwig von Beethoven. in academic and social contexts, that confidence And when we shuffle in, that’s when the fun in a strong opinion becomes almost a taboo. really starts. It’s never long before the In a debate, it really takes some balls to say to rookie tutor throws out a question a peer ‘you’re wrong’. But sometimes that’s what to the whole group. Big mistake. needs to be said. Of course, you want to make sure They will invariably be met you’re right first; otherwise you’ll end up looking with a stony silence. The funny like a right tit. But if you think you are, don’t po- thing is, most of the group know the litely and discreetly beat about the bush. Smash an- swer, but it’s just not it hard. cool to venture it for at We should abandon our manners. It may take least 10 excru- some training before you get to expert level, sat ciating seconds in the canteen with no cutlery, shovelling into while we all your gaping maw fistfuls of spaghetti bolognese feign disinter- with your bare hands. But in a seminar, you can est and igno- start by winning yourself some brownie points, rance. and take on the know-it-all. There’s always one, E v e n t u - who’s read the course books over summer just for ally a weaker fun, and simply can’t resist taking every opportu- member is nity to tell the rest of us how much higher a level reduced to a they’re working on. Find a weak spot and ham- quivering wreck mer it home like a rabid monkey with a coconut. by the tension, You’ll soon be supping on the milky goodness of finally snaps, and revenge. The Nouse Answers will be online at www.nouse.co.uk The Nouse Crossword Sudoku

Across 1 Wrong idea (13) 8 Small round shield (7) Down 9 Exhibition of cow- 1 Disorderly crowd (3) boy skills (5) 2 Yield (7) 10 Sudden change, 3 Eye lustfully (4) illegally or by force 4 Brass band instru- (4) ment (6) 11 Monument to the 5 Repeated without war dead (8) understanding (8) 13 Symbol (6) 6 Asian country (5) 14 Red wine grape 7 Novices (9) (6) 10 Chinese dress (9) 17 Very young bird 12 Bravo! (4,4) (8) 15 Dictionary (7) 19 Choppers (4) 16 Frail (6) 21 Fight (3-2) 18 Locations (5) 22 Unlawful (7) 20 Aspersion (4) 24 Captain of a mer- 23 High rocky hill (3) chant vessel (6,7)