November 9, 2018 | Volume XVI, Issue 13

Thursday, No- Trans Awareness Month Events vember 15th – Join the Creative Alli- By Bill Redmond-Palmer Tuesday, November 13th – Join ance as they host a November is Transgender Awareness PFLAG Columbia / Howard County for Second Stoop show, Month (TAM), and there’s a whole series of their general meeting from 7:30 to 9 pm where anyone can events planned in Baltimore and beyond, at the Owen Brown Interfaith Center (7246 come and share with opportunities for everyone to show Cradlerock Way, Columbia), where the their story. The full their support and solidarity with the trans- topic will be “Transgender 2018: The Year title is: “The Stoop gender community, learn, and In Review.” Learn about the Presents Stories become better allies. As well, Show support year’s major stories and how about Gender and the Baltimore Transgender Alli- and solidarity they impact the future. Learn Sexual Fluidity,” from ance (BTA) is hosting a series what changed this year for 7:30 to 9:30 pm at of bar fundraisers. Here’s a with transgender trans people. This is a free 3134 Eastern Ave- roster of upcoming events... event. For more info, visit Bit. nue, Baltimore. “The folks ly/2JGIvBr. show will feature per- the door at $12 and $15 respectively. Get Wednesday, November sonal tales about the exciting, scary and tickets at Bit.ly/2ANgqFEast For more info, 14th – From 5 to 9 pm , join fascinating journey of discovering our true visit at Bit.ly/2D4ZlbI. the BTA at the Peabody Heights Brew- selves, and our true desires.” Join in to tell Friday, November 16th – From 5 to 9 Dolores ery (401 East 30th Street, Baltimore). your story or just to listen. Tickets in ad- pm, join the BTA at Charm City Meadworks Catania A portion of proceeds goes to BTA. vance are $9 for Creative Alliance mem- (400 East Biddle Street, Baltimore). A por- – Garden For more info, visit Bit.ly/2zw3Etn. bers and $12 for non-members. Tickets at —continued on page 4 State housewife is no shrinking By Frankie Kujawa violet The drama continues to run amok in the Garden State as “The Real House- wives of New Jersey” (“RHONJ”) pre- Sassy & Suburban miered Wednesday, November 7th on there’s always going to be I think that it will resonate and Bravo. As fans have observed from something interesting. And Getting real with allow me to connect with a lot the recent promotional teasers of the some things definitely hap- ‘Real Housewives of viewers. There’s something upcoming ninth season, the stars of pen this season. Let’s just really big that happens with the reality guilty-pleasure find them- say the two new girls are not of New Jersey’ my ex-husband Frank, and it is selves once again at odds with each shy on bringing the drama.” something very pivotal. I think other. From venom-infused over-the- This season is Catania’s star Dolores you’ll see how we handle that.” top arguments to bawdy brawls, these third consecutive as part of Catania Catania also teased, “There ladies continue to take fans on quite the RHONJ family. View- is one scene this season on our the rollercoaster ride. Baltimore OUT- ers have seen Dolores evolve each season, cast trip that is, in my opinion, the most epic loud recently chatted with the beloved however always remaining true to who she is scene in ‘Housewives’ history. The argument RHONJ star Dolores Catania. Her deep down. “I’m always the same ‘Dolores,’ that’s teased in the trailer where I say ‘Oh, humorous candor, admiration of an- but I think viewers will get to know me a lot shit,’ trust me … I meant ‘Oh, shit!’. It’s going imals, and devotion to philanthropic better this season. I think in the last few sea- to go down in ‘Housewives’ history that this causes continue to set the housewife sons that I was saturated with a lot of the is as Jersey as it gets. Even one of the body- apart as a true humanitarian. things going around with other people. How- guards who was nearby said that this scene “There’s a lot of diversity this ever, this season viewers now have the op- was like something out of Goodfellas. It will season,” began Catania. “Of course, portunity to see a lot of who I am personally involve everyone in the show. You cannot when you bring in two new peo- and a lot of about my life. There’s a lot that’s miss it!” ple into the mix of the original peo- been going on in my life this past year. I’ve In the previous blockbuster eighth sea- ple who know each other so long, been through some very turbulent times, and —continued on page 23 Co-Publishers Jim Becker • Jim Williams [email protected]

Executive Editor Jim Becker [email protected] [email protected]

Associate Editor & Director of Marketing & Production Mary Taylor [email protected]

Arts and Entertainment Editor Frankie Kujawa [email protected]

Leather Editor Rodney Burger [email protected]

Contributing Writers for Baltimore OUTloud Andre Shakti • Bill Redmond-Palmer • Brynn Devereau Charles Dudley, MPT • Chuck Duncan • David Egan David Placher • Dr. Eva Hersh MD • Elyse Buchbinder Frankie Kujawa • Gregg Shapiro • Jabari Lyles Janan Broadbent, Ph. D. • Jeffrey Clagett • Josh Buchbinder Lauren Lynch • Lee Carpenter • Linda A. Dominguez, Esq. Mark S. King • Mark Segal • Michael Ritmiller Rabbi Jan Dodi • Richard Finger • Rodney Burger Sage Piper • Steve Charing Andre Shakti Bill Redmond-Palmer • Brynn Devereaux • Chuck Duncan Charles Dudley, MPT • David Egan • David Placher Dr. Eva Hersh MD • Elyse Buchbinder • Frankie Kujawa Gregg Shapiro • Jabari Lyles • Janan Broadbent, Ph. D. Jeffrey Clagett • Josh Buchbinder Lauren Lynch Lee Carpenter • Linda A. Dominguez, Esq. Mark S. King • Mark Segal • Michael Ritmiller Rabbi Jan Dodi • Richard Finger • Rodney Burger Sage Piper • Steve Charing • Woody Derrick

Contributing Writers for OUT in the VALLEY Brian George Hose • Rev. Kelly Crenshaw Rev. Robert Apgar-Taylor • Zed Sykes

Contributing Writers OUT in Asbury Park, NJ Rai Guerra-Nelson • Christy Girlington

Graphics Ramon Montiel

Web Editor Adam Romanic Computer Solutions for Less

Photographers Corey Brent Eric Randolph

National Advertising Rep Rivendell Media 908-232-2021

Founders Jim Becker • Joe Berg • Mike Chase • Lee Mooney (1959-2007) • Jim Williams Baltimore OUTloud PO Box 4887 Baltimore, MD 21211 410-802-1310 Baltimoreoutloud.com

Additional Information Baltimore OUTloud is published every other Friday by Pride Media, Ltd. in Baltimore, Maryland. Readers comments and unsolicited materials are welcomed and may be sent to: [email protected]. All materials appearing in this newspaper are the property of Pride Media, Ltd. and may not be reproduced without the written permission of the editor. The opinions expressed in Baltimore OUTloud are solely those of the writers unless otherwise indicated and do not necessarily reflect the views of Pride Media, Ltd., and the staff.

© 2018 – All rights reserved Chair of the Board of Trustees – Jim Becker President – Jim Williams Secretary and Treasurer – Mike Chase

2 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com news // localUPDATE FROM CITY HALL

efforts for the community. I’ve recently be- gender Day of Remembrance and gan attending neighborhood and communi- Resilience. The Baltimore Trans- Revitalizing Baltimore ty association meetings across the city to gender Alliance has a number of introduce myself as a resource. activities and events planned for It’s election season, and many of us are feel- Recently, Mayor Pugh, along with the Lastly, the first cohort of LGBTQ com- the weekend of November 17th, ing the heat of political battles happening Department of Housing and Community missioners has been officially sworn including a Queer Bash, a panel across the country. Most relevant to our com- Development, launched the Community in at City Hall. These members were series, fundraisers, and more. munity, we recently learned of the current Catalyst Grants Program, which provides elected by their respective commit- Holidays are quickly ap- federal administration’s plans to establish an funding for locally-driven community and tees to lead the mayor’s LGBTQ proaching, which can be some inaccurate definition of neighborhood re- Commission. The commis- of the most joyous times, sex which disregards vitalization efforts. sion has elected Dan- or most isolating times for gender or the nonbina- Community- and ielle Scott, a research members of our com- ry nature of assigned neighborhood-based nurse and program co- munity. Be sure to fol- sex, and will further CITY HALL organizations are el- ordinator at the Johns low the Baltimore City the marginalization of igible to apply. The Hopkins School of LGBTQ Affairs Face- transgender and inter- UPDATE mayor’s office, in Medicine, to lead book, Twitter, and In- sex people. Although I partnership with the the commission as stagram accounts for believe this is the lat- Jabari Lyles Harry & Jeanette chairperson. The news and announce- est in a series of abu- Weinberg Founda- general body of the ments of events and sive tactics used by the tion, is collecting LGBTQ Commis- initiatives you can be current administration applications for the sion will meet again involved with. to rile us up, this action is not to be taken Baltimore City Community Grants Program. in January 2019. As always, I can be lightly and could cause irreparable damage The program provides $10,000 in operating Please get in touch reached via email at ja- to a group of people who are already rou- support to organizations providing direct if you would like bari.lyles@baltimorecity. tinely ostracized. Here in the mayor’s office, services to low-income people and families more information gov. t we found it important to emphasize our city’s in Baltimore City. As part of the mayor’s Vio- about potentially Long-time community commitment to stand with the transgender lence Reduction Initiative, weekly meetings joining the group. leader Jabari Lyles dis- and intersex community, regardless of what and neighborhood walks are scheduled to November is Transgen- cusses his new role as the happens on a federal level. monitor the plan’s effectiveness. I plan to der Awareness Month, with November 20th LGBTQ Affairs Liaison in Our mayor has several key areas of fo- join our mayor on an upcoming crime walk. being the annual observation of the Trans- the Balti- more City mayor’s office. cus for making our city better: reducing vi- The city government is interested in olence, investing in and strengthening our learning as much as possible about extend- neighborhoods, empowering youth, creating ing necessary, culturally competent ser- jobs, and ensuring government resources vices to our community. I am proud to have are accessible and extended to all citizens organized the first-ever LGBTQ Community Town Hall hosted by city government. In The Baltimore Community partnership with the Office of the City Coun- cil President Bernard C. “Jack” Young, we Grants Program provides will have a chance to hear directly from the $10,000 in operating support community about how the city can more effectively meet the needs of LGBTQ peo- to groups providing direct ple. Did you know: the offices of the may- or, city council president, state’s attorney, services to low-income and Baltimore City police department, all people in Baltimore. have LGBTQ liaisons. We have initiated a standing monthly meeting to collaborate Boosting empowerment and breaking the bonds of Baltimore. These areas of focus inher- and communicate on our separate and joint of homophobia, racism, and stigma in same ently touch the LGBTQ community. Many of us live in one of the many distinct neighbor- gender-loving (SGL) men in Baltimore City hoods in Baltimore City. We know much of • NETWORKING the violence in our city – whether it be hate Every 1st Wednesday crimes, theft or murder – is experienced by members of our community. LGBTQ youth • HIV EDUCATION continue to be at risk – in our schools and in Every Last Wednesday our streets. Employment discrimination and • housing instability make finding jobs difficult, SOCIAL EVENTS particularly for transgender people, and it’s Monthly often difficult for the most in-need and at-risk • ART CREATION PROJECT members of our community to navigate sys- tems to receive all of the services our city [email protected] • 410-837-5573 has to offer. I am prepared and excited to work with our mayor and city agencies to en- FB: New Horizons Baltimore • aidsactionbaltimore.org sure these priorities are visible and success- HIV Prevention Advocacy for SGL Men's Health supported by ful in our community. ViiV Healthcare's ACCELERATE! Program

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 3

Select Chase Brexton Health Care patients deemed most in need may be eligible for digital breast cancer screenings through a mobile mammography van to be located at the Chase Brexton Mount Vernon Center on September 28th. The screenings are provided in partnership with Lackawan- na Mobile X-Ray and the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Breast can- cer is the second most common cancer in women, and mammograms are capable of finding it up to three years before it can be felt. The Center for Disease Control recommends mammograms every two years for women age 50 and older who are at average risk for breast cancer. The staff of Chase Brexton encour- ages their patients to remember that ear- ly detection saves lives! Any patient who feels they may quality should contact their Chase Brexton provider or call 410-837- 2050 for more info. t nnewsews //// locallocal news // national Trans Awareness Month Events HRC seeks records

—continued from page 1 Homeless of Trump’s attempt more info, visit Bit.ly/2SPJwva. Lunch Patrol: to redefine ‘gender’ tion of the proceeds supports BTA. Astrolo- Sunday, November 18th – Nurture your ger Xander Dumas will offer mini readings. resilience by joining the the BTA as they host November 25th Washington, DC – On October 29th, the For more info, visit Bit.ly/2D6wV0V. This the fourth annual “Trans March of Resilience Human Rights Campaign (HRC), sent a will begin a bar crawl to the next event ... and Banquet.” Gather at 6 pm at the Ynot Save the turkey, save the dressing, and Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request ... happening from 7 to 10 pm, join the Lot (4 West North Avenue, Baltimore), where save the sweet potato pie! Join B and to the Department of Health and Human BTA at the R Bar at R House (301 West voices and spirits will be lifted in preparation Dee’s Baltimore Love at 1 pm on Sunday, Services (HHS) for all records related to 29th Street, Baltimore). There will be a for the march that will step off at 7 pm March November 25th for the November “Thanks- the Trump-Pence administration’s efforts signature cocktail offered. More info at Bit. together up Charles Street to 27th Street giving Leftovers” of Lunch Patrol, to help to redefine the word “gender” in order to ly/2SQPX14. and gather outside the 2640 Space for a distribute brown bag lunches to the area exclude transgender people from federal Join the MoCo Pride Center from 7 to 9 banquet, held from 7:30 to 10 pm, featuring homeless. The meals are delivered on foot civil rights protections and enable discrim- pm , for Montgomery County’s eighth annual poetry and performances by Abdu Ali, Elon and by vehicle. People of all ages are en- ination against LGBTQ people in general. observance of Transgender Day of Remem- Battle, Nicky Stacy, and Roxanne Raven couraged to participate. Meet up at 4 West brance and Resilience at VisArts (155 Gibbs Storm. For more info, visit Bit.ly/2Os9ilK. North Avenue and volunteers will be sent Street, suite 300, Rockville). The event is Fill in the gaps in your transgender to different areas. For more info, visit Bit. free and open to all. Come to remember the community knowledge! Join Mid-Atlantic ly/2OqNUgz. t lives lost this year to transphobic violence Pup 2018 Biff Skunk and former Mid-Atlan- and to build resilience as a community. For tic Pup Ruckus, who will join forces to host more info, visit at Bit.ly/2PeA8mC. a “Trans-Talk” event from 8 pm to 2 am at Witness the brilliance of the transgender the Baltimore Playhouse (2010 Washington community from 8 pm to 1 am with the BTA Boulevard, Baltimore). Doors open at 7:30 Thanksgiving at The Sidebar (218 East Lexington Street, pm and class begins promptly at 8. “With the On October 21st, the New York Times pub- Baltimore) for “Queer Bash: Trans Night of many things happening in the community to Dinner? You’re lished a report that “the Trump administration Retribution.” DJ Pancakes will present a welcome and include trans people comes a is considering narrowly defining gender as a night of all trans musical performances, fea- realization of a certain level of ignorance, Invited! biological, immutable condition determined turing Sammy Heck, Luna Oak, Bust Down, coming not necessarily from transphobia but by genitalia at birth.” According to the report, Lil Perc, and Mosaic. Cover is a sliding scale from a lack of knowledge,” organizers say. Joy Baltimore invites you to support them HHS drafted a memo to establish the legal from $8 to $20 – pay what you can. The If you have questions and want to ask them in feeding those without a place to go, as definition of “sex, and the ‘agency’s proposed Sidebar can be entered by a set of six stairs in a safe atmosphere, this is a chance to they host their second annual “Oh Give definition would define sex as either male or with a sturdy handrail. Their bathrooms are fill in the gaps. There will be an “open play Thanks” Thanksgiving dinner on Thurs- female, unchangeable, and determined by not accessible by wheelchair; contact side- space” after the class, with a large mosh day, November 22nd from 1 to 5 pm at 880 the genitals that a person is born with.... Any [email protected] if you and agility course. The event cover is $20 Park Avenue, third floor, in Baltimore. This dispute about one’s sex would have to be have accessibility concerns, which organiz- at the door. Don’t be under 19. Organizers year’s theme is “Let the Ball Begin.” The clarified using genetic testing.” request: “Please bring a toy that can be do- event is free. “This effort by the Trump-Pence admin- ““With the many things nated to toys for tots.” For more info, visit Bit. istration to erase transgender people in the ly/2JG1H21. public square and exclude them from federal happening in the community Monday, November 19th – Join the civil rights protections is horrific and alarm- Frederick Center and the Queer Student ing,” said the HRC’s Sarah Warbelow. “It is to welcome and include trans Union at Hood College from 7 to 8 pm at imperative we understand the key players people comes a realization of Hood College (401 Rosemont Avenue, pushing for this destructive action along with Frederick), as they host a “Transgender their motivations, analysis, and rationale.” a certain level of ignorance, Remembrance Vigil,” where they will re- HHS will likely also encourage other fed- member our trans siblings who have died eral agencies to follow suit in their severely coming not necessarily from by violence in the past year. They will be- restrictive and narrow definition of sex. The transphobia but from a lack gin at the Pergola behind Alumnae Hall and administration’s decision could have severe walk together to the front steps of the hall. “Whether you are a youth or young consequences for LGBTQ people across the of knowledge.” The rain location will be the Marx Center at adult, male or female, LGBTQ, a college federal government. For example: A trans- Hood College. A reception will follow in the student, a senior or a family who is home- gender person could have his or her insur- ers will try to address. For more info, visit Bit. Alumnae Hall lobby. Free. For more info, less or has no place to share a Thanks- ance deny coverage for transition-related ly/2PhQR8I. visit Bit.ly/2QnxSG6. giving dinner, you are welcome at our ta- care; same-sex couples and their families Saturday, November 17th – Equip Tuesday, November 20th – The ble,” say organizers. The event will include could be turned away from emergency shel- yourself with knowledge by joining the BTA Transgender Response Team will host food, music, and entertainment. ters; a transgender woman could be turned for a Trans Day of Workshops from noon to 4 a candlelight vigil and memorial event in Organizers are looking for volunteers, away from a hospital for a broken ankle; a gay pm at Thrive Baltimore (6 East Lafayette Av- honor of the 20th annual Transgender Day donations, supplies, sponsors, a DJ, and man could be harassed about being gay at a enue). Star Track will host an “Ask a Trans” of Remembrance. Details forthcoming. For entertainers, so there are lots of ways to job skills training; and a transgender girl could panel; GLSEN Maryland will host a youth-led more info visit Tdorbaltimore.weebly.com, help. be forced to live in a youth shelter for boys. discussion; and SWOP Baltimore will host a or contact Jean-Michel Brevelle at j_brev- For more info, contact Lonnie Walker t (Seattle Gay News and HRC at Sgn.org/ t workshop titled “Facing the Violence: How [email protected] or call 443-876-8139. at 443-522-8553 or lwalker@joybaltimore. sgnnews46_44/page9.cfm) Sex Workers Equip Themselves.” Free. For org. More info at Bit.ly/2PF5WAy. t

4 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com beyond the beltway compiled by Jim Becker held our hands (without rubber gloves) perstition, witches and ghost, the festivity, and always always hugged us as we left not surprisingly, was limited in colonial Pittsburgh his office. And thank you Dr. Rabinowitz New England because of its Puritanical for having always been there during the belief system. But today it’s an LGBTQ ex- synagogue most terrifying and frightening time of my travaganza that rivals – if not out-showcas- life. You will be remembered by me always. es – Pride festivals. victim was You are one of my heroes just like the early Long before June officially became ACT UP warriors – some of which I now Gay Pride Month, and October “Coming doctor to many call friend.” Out Month” for the LGBTQ community, According to his nephew, Rabinowitz Halloween was unofficially our yearly cel- HIV-pos people rushed to help the shooting victims rath- Dance against prejudice ebrated “holiday,” dating as far back at the er than thinking about his own safety. “He 1970s when it was a massive annual street Pittsburgh – The HIV community is was a doctor, a healer,” Avishai Ostrin party in San Francisco’s Castro district. By remembering the legacy of Dr. Jerry Rab- wrote on Facebook. “I just learned a short and trans community,” organizers said. On the 1980s, gay enclaves such as Key West, inowitz, who was one of 11 victims killed in while ago that although the shooter trav- August 19th, Kendra Martinez, a Latino West Hollywood, and Greenwich Village a mass shooting at a Pittsburgh synagogue eled within the building looking for victims, transgender woman, was violently assault- were holding their annual Halloween street on October 27th. Robert Bowers has been Uncle Jerry wasn’t killed in the basement ed. Then on September 20th, the Closet parties. And the parades the night of Hal- arrested for allegedly opening fire during of the building where the congregation was Case Thrift Store was vandalized by some- loween did and still do draw straights and a Shabbat at the Tree of Life synagogue davening; he was shot outside the room. one throwing bricks as they yelled, “I’m gay spectators out to watch. [Halloween in the Pennsylvania city. Bowers allegedly Why? Because when he heard shots he sick of all the gay shit.” Closet Case is an was a huge gay celebration in Baltimore attacked the synagogue during a bris for a ran outside to try and see if anyone was LGBTQ-run social enterprise that benefits as early as the 60s when hordes of gay hurt and needed a doctor. That was Uncle the youth-focused We are Family. Jerry, that’s just what he did.” (Gay Star One of the organizers, Vanity Reid, News – at www.gaystarnews.com/article/ said, “Far too often, we are attacked for tributes-pour-in-for-pittsburgh-synagogue- claiming autonomy of our bodies and victim-who-was-prominent-hiv-doctor/#gs. simply existing in a world that views our m041las) presence as defiant. We are attacked and then questioned about the validity of our trauma; our attacks are then discredited and assumed to be related to some sort Dance in of deceit or untruth on our behalf. Today we claim our space and speak power over Charleston our very ownership of this space and the Scared straight ... not! spaces we navigate daily.” revelers, many in drag, could safely flock raises trans “We are here to reclaim the spaces in to the gay clubs and after-hour restaurants which we have been harmed and fill them like Bickford’s on North Calvert Street. awareness with joy,” said Leigh LaChapelle, another Most other nights someone in drag risked organizer of the protest. “We are here to arrest. – Editor] Charleston, South Carolina – Over show our community that we stand behind Nicholas Rogers, author of “Hallow- 100 Charleston-area transgender support- them.” (Q Notes Online Lainey Millen at een: From Pagan Ritual to Party Night,” ers and local queer activists, along with Goqnotes.com/61615/dance-protest-rais- points out that while Halloween is enjoyed Werk for Peace founder Firas Nasr who es-trans-awareness) by everyone, “it has been the gay commu- came into the public eye for staging a nity that has most flamboyantly exploited dance party protest outside Mike Pence’s Halloween’s potential as a transgressive home after the 2017 inauguration, held festival, as one that operates outside or on Dr. Jerry Rabinowitz a demonstration through the streets of Halloween has the margins of orthodox time, space, and Charleston on October 18th. The “dance hierarchy. Indeed, it is the gay community gay couple’s twins. The attack has been party” protest started at the Stern Center long been our that has been arguably most responsible labelled the “deadliest” attack on the Jew- Gardens at the College of Charleston and for Halloween’s adult rejuvenation.” The ish community in the US. paraded through the streets to Deco on big gay holiday community revels the entire night like there ACT UP member Michael Kerr posted a Ann Street, where Kendra Martinez had is no tomorrow, and for many there isn’t. heartfelt tribute to the doctor. Kerr remem- been assaulted. Dancers used their bod- Boston – In the words of the lesbian Like its pagan roots, Halloween provided bered Rabinowitz as a caring doctor who ies to reclaim the space. The dancers were poet and scholar Judy Grahn, Halloween an outlet for us cross-dressing and gen- did not stigmatize HIV patients. “My doctor clad in rainbow paraphernalia and danced is “the great gay holiday.” And this week- der-bending LGBTQ outsiders who are os- Jerry Rabinowitz was among those killed to loud music through the streets. The end of lavish costumed theatricality will at- tracized by mainstream society. As Kwan- in the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting. He demonstration sought to center and cele- tract everyone, but especially lesbian, gay, zaa is a black holiday, and St. Patrick’s Day took care of me up until I left Pittsburgh for brate queer and transgender individuals in bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) is an Irish holiday, maybe someday soon NYC in 2004,” Kerr wrote on Facebook. “In the coastal city and to send a message to revelers. Back in the day Halloween, the Halloween will be officially acknowledged the old days for HIV patients in Pittsburgh policy makers and lay people that bigotry night before All Hallows Day (All Saints as a gay holiday. (Bay Windows – Rev. he was the one to go to. Basically, before and hate would not be tolerated. Day), was linked to the ancient Celtic festi- Irene Monroe at Baywindows.com/Hallow- there was effective treatment for fighting “Anti-transgender and queer motivated val “Samhain” in the British Isles, meaning een-Our-American-LGBTQ-holiday-0) HIV itself, he was known in the community violence in the city of Charleston has re- “summer’s end.” And because the celebra- —continued on page 9 for keeping us alive the longest. He often sulted in numerous attacks on the queer tion is associated with mystery, magic, su-

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 5 What is BIKTARVY? Get HIV support by downloading a free app BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get at MyDailyCharge.com prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults. these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than It can either be used in people who have never taken usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or provider determines they meet certain requirements. lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is } Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead the virus that causes AIDS. to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, What is the most important information light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days I should know about BIKTARVY? or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. The most common side e ects of BIKTARVY in clinical BIKTARVY may cause serious side e€ ects: studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (5%), and headache } Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you (5%). Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side have both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking BIKTARVY, e‹ ects that bother you or don’t go away. your HBV may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without fi rst talking to your What should I tell my healthcare provider healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor before taking BIKTARVY? your health. } All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or have had any Who should not take BIKTARVY? kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis Do not take BIKTARVY if you take: virus infection. } dofetilide } All the medicines you take, including prescription } rifampin and over-the-counter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements. BIKTARVY and } any other medicines to treat HIV-1 other medicines may a‹ ect each other. Keep a list What are the other possible side e ects of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare of BIKTARVY? provider and pharmacist, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all of your other medicines. Serious side e€ ects of BIKTARVY may also include: KEEP } If you are pregnantor plan to become pregnant. It is } Your immune system Changes in your immune system. not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. may get stronger and begin to fi ght infections. Tell your Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. after you start taking BIKTARVY. PUSHING. } (nursing) or plan to } Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your If you are breastfeeding healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed Because HIV doesn’t change who you are. check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney to the baby in breast milk. problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY. BIKTARVY is a 1-pill, once-a-day complete HIV-1 treatment for adults who You are encouraged to report negative side e ects } Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/ are either new to treatment or whose healthcare provider determines they a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. can replace their current HIV-1 medicines with BIKTARVY. Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, BIKTARVY.COM including important warnings, on the following page.

6 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com BVYC0048_BIKTARVY_B_9-875x9-6_BaltimoreOUTloud_KeepPushing2_r1v1jl.indd 1-2 10/31/18 11:09 AM What is BIKTARVY? Get HIV support by downloading a free app BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get at MyDailyCharge.com prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults. these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than It can either be used in people who have never taken usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or provider determines they meet certain requirements. lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is } Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead the virus that causes AIDS. to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, What is the most important information light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days I should know about BIKTARVY? or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. The most common side e ects of BIKTARVY in clinical BIKTARVY may cause serious side e€ ects: studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (5%), and headache } Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you (5%). Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side have both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking BIKTARVY, e‹ ects that bother you or don’t go away. your HBV may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without fi rst talking to your What should I tell my healthcare provider healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor before taking BIKTARVY? your health. } All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or have had any Who should not take BIKTARVY? kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis Do not take BIKTARVY if you take: virus infection. } dofetilide } All the medicines you take, including prescription } rifampin and over-the-counter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements. BIKTARVY and } any other medicines to treat HIV-1 other medicines may a‹ ect each other. Keep a list What are the other possible side e ects of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare of BIKTARVY? provider and pharmacist, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all of your other medicines. Serious side e€ ects of BIKTARVY may also include: KEEP } If you are pregnantor plan to become pregnant. It is } Your immune system Changes in your immune system. not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. may get stronger and begin to fi ght infections. Tell your Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. after you start taking BIKTARVY. PUSHING. } (nursing) or plan to } Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your If you are breastfeeding healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed Because HIV doesn’t change who you are. check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney to the baby in breast milk. problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY. BIKTARVY is a 1-pill, once-a-day complete HIV-1 treatment for adults who You are encouraged to report negative side e ects } Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/ are either new to treatment or whose healthcare provider determines they a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. can replace their current HIV-1 medicines with BIKTARVY. Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, BIKTARVY.COM including important warnings, on the following page.

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 7 BVYC0048_BIKTARVY_B_9-875x9-6_BaltimoreOUTloud_KeepPushing2_r1v1jl.indd 1-2 10/31/18 11:09 AM IMPORTANT FACTS This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY® and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment. (bik-TAR-vee)

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: BIKTARVY can cause serious side effects, including: • Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you have both • Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section. HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop • Changes in your immune system. taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. your health regularly for several months. • Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: ABOUT BIKTARVY weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or used to treat HIV-1 in adults. It can either be used in people lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are • Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: provider determines they meet certain requirements. skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or causes AIDS. longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine • The most common side eff ects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies that contains: were diarrhea (6%), nausea (5%), and headache (5%). • dofetilide These are not all the possible side effects of BIKTARVY. Tell your • rifampin healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIK TARV Y. • any other medicines to treat HIV-1 Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY. BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY Tell your healthcare provider all your medical conditions, HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY including if you: Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food. • Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection. • Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. GET MORE INFORMATION • Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 • This is only a brief summary of important information about to your baby. BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: • Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5. • Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, • If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. for program information. • Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY.

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, DAILY CHARGE, the DAILY CHARGE Logo, KEEP PUSHING, LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE, GILEAD, and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. Version date: February 2018 © 2018 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. BVYC0048 07/18

8 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com BVYC0048_BIKTARVY_B_9-875x9-6_BaltimoreOUTloud_KeepPushing2_r1v1jl.indd 3 10/31/18 11:09 AM beyond the beltway

—continued from page 5 who self-identified as weak, and so shy and Sam was around 30, . . proposal highlights “the growing influence that I could barely speak in social situ- Of course, the question remains: Did under President Donald Trump of Christian ations.... The man – let’s call him Sam – this man take advantage of me? Did he social conservatives, who have scored a was quite the opposite: muscular, steady, sense the ticking bomb of my 15-year-old series of successes in recent weeks, in- confident, a lifeguard at the beach where I desire – so potent and ready to go off? ... cluding the White House decision to con- ‘How I Learned sometimes went with my parents.... Possibly all these things are true. But then sider rolling back rights for transgender “The day of our first encounter, I I think of how, in many ways, I was the one Americans in federal civil rights law.” to Dive: A story watched from a short distance as he who’d pursued him. I was the one who’d The Trump administration’s effort ap- taught a class to teenagers – lifeguards spotted him, that first day at the beach. I pears to focus on the UN, where diplomats of first sex’ in training, I suppose. ... “You were in my was the one who’d kept making the calls are discussing a number of General As- class, right?” I heard him say. “No,” I mut- over the years. Yes, this man whose job sembly resolutions on health, education, New York City – This is a substantially tered. “I was just watching.” ... I was trem- was to protect children, to save them from and social issues. In these discussions, abridged personal account by Victor Loda- bling by that point, but for some reason drowning, had possibly misused his power. US State Department officials have sought to that appeared in the New Yorker Maga- when he said, “Walk with me,” I followed But I’d had some power, too. I’d chosen to strike references to the word “gender.” zine. The full story can be found by using him. For a few minutes, we didn’t talk – to lose my virginity. And I’d chosen him.... “This is not a symbolic gesture,” said the link at the end of the piece. “I was 15, which both disturbed and excited me. Our I was lucky that Sam was kind, that he Beirne Roose-Snyder of the Center for and he was in his 20s. I wasn’t coerced, silence seemed to suggest that we agreed never pressured me to do anything I didn’t though. I wasn’t tricked or manipulated. I on something. It was like a pact. . . When want to. He both revelled in my yeses and said yes – said it freely – because I wanted he finally stopped and turned toward me, respected my nos – a skill that many in something. I wanted sex – or whatever it we were in a patch of shade, surrounded power have yet to learn. (The New Yorker was that happened between two men. Of by larger bushes and even some trees. If – Victor Lodato at Newyorker.com/culture/ course, I wasn’t a man yet. When I think my mind said run, my body argued stay.... personal-history/how-i-learned-to-dive) back on this, I wonder if I can trust my I said that I should probably go, while, be- yes, the yes of a child. My body says that low, my arousal contradicted me. He no- I can, but maybe I can’t trust my body to ticed, and drew my attention to the fact work this out. I hadn’t thought about the that he was experiencing a similar “prob- State Dept. man in a while; my time with him was more lem.” As we made small talk – the weather, than 30 years ago. But lately his ghost the waves, my sunburn – the real conver- considering The sorry state of gender politics has returned – maybe in light of the cur- sation seemed to be happening between our bathing suits. Somehow, a few minutes sex health & Health and Gender Equity, which pro- later, we were naked, with our hands going motes for women in US foreign policy. “It is exactly where hands shouldn’t go – or ex- education ban a real harm to the health and rights of in- actly where they should. I was in a limbo, dividuals, families, and communities, and in which there seemed to be no difference Washington, DC – The US State De- undermines the prevention and treatment between the forbidden and the necessary. partment is considering a proposal to ban of HIV, as well as the avoidance of mater- The sense of inevitability, of falling, was terms like “comprehensive sexuality edu- nal deaths and unwanted pregnancies.” profound..... But now, as I followed the life- cation” and “sexual health.” According to A ban on “comprehensive sexual ed- guard’s lead, I felt that he was pulling me Politico.com, “four people familiar with the ucation,” which includes LGBT sexuality, closer to myself. Strangely, this did not feel issue” told reporters that the proposal to has long been a goal of anti-LGBT hate safe; it felt like drowning. . . Finally, I slid ban the phrases “is being pushed by a groups, including the inaptly named Cen- away, and as I put on my bathing suit I felt handful of conservative political appoin- ter for Family and Human Rights (C-FAM), a need to defend myself. I told the man I’d tees at the State Department and other the Family Research Council, and NOM. never done anything like that before. “Me agencies, including Mari Stull, an adviser They may find a receptive ear in Secre- neither,” he said. I didn’t believe him ... as at State whose alleged mistreatment of tary of State Mike Pompeo. As a Kansas I turned to leave, he took a notebook from career government staffers has already congressman between 2011 and 2017, his backpack and wrote down a number. sparked multiple federal investigations.” Pompeo was known for his anti-abortion “Call me,” he said. “Okay?” ... Unexpected- The journal Foreign Policy adds that the views and criticism of LGBTQ protections, ly, I felt no real shame about what I’d done co-sponsoring legislation that would have with the man. On the contrary, the memo- allowed states to subvert the Supreme ry of our encounter often made me smile. Court’s protections for same-sex marriage. What had originally felt like drowning now t (Seattle Gay News – Mike Andrew at felt like flying. I was suddenly above myself These news notes have been compiled, Sgn.org/sgnnews46_44/page11.cfm) – not at all the person I’d thought I was. My with permission, from the online version secret somehow invigorated me.... Even- of various newspapers and other web tually, I stopped questioning his attraction sites. We thank these publications for Author Victor Lodato to me. And I remained as attracted to him allowing us to bring you their news sto- as ever – perhaps more, as the months ries. Usually the reports have been sig- rent debates about sex and power. These passed and I grew brave enough to look nificantly edited and you can read the full story by going to the web site men- conversations have got under my skin, like him in the eye.... Though carnality was our tioned following the item. Comments a virus, making me sick with questions I’d primary enterprise, Sam and I did, I sup- are strictly the opinions of Jim Becker never asked before: Was I manipulated? pose, become friends. . . Our relationship and not of Baltimore OUTloud or Pride Was there an imbalance of power? It’s en- – or whatever it was – lasted almost four Media. tirely plausible. I was a small, skinny guy years, until I was 18, a freshman in college, baltimoreoutloud.com

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 9 10 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 11 thinking outloud // mark my words

has not done that well. sexual equality,” as it was called by members LGBT History: 50 Years of the Mattachine Society. Before Stonewall, The two best known that come to mind are David Carter’s Stonewall, which is more several of the early GLF founders – including detailed and researched than anything that Martha Shelley and Marty Robinson --were On: Busting the Myths of came before but written during a time of com- attempting to create a new movement. Oth- peting and conflicting views. Carter had to ers like Sylvia Rivera also wanted a new people were privileged enough to run away. sift through the noise, he persevered, and his movement, but few people at that time from Stonewall To those of us who stayed, Garland was not book can and should be used as a starting those earlier organizations wanted to be as- on our mind. It’s a stereotypical slur that was place to be built on. I personally hope he con- sociated with her. started by a straight white man writing about tinues to research and others continue to for- GLF was created and Sylvia was wel- by Mark Segal the event a week later in the Village Voice. ward him material. For my part I’ve recently comed gladly, the first trans person to be Each of us who were at Stonewall has a dif- None of those who have credible claim to sent him information on one of the bouncers/ a member of a gay organization and GLF ferent view of the event. They run the gamut being there think Garland was a factor. So doormen who married a friend of mine and changed our community in other drastic from it being a rebellion, a riot, a revolution, if you’re writing about Stonewall and contin- who still lives in NYC. I trust his research and ways. GLF helped us decide that we had the or simply a night of the queens having fun ue the myth, check your delusion in the mir- hopes he’ll chat with others that he did not sole right to define ourselves rather than live and taking over their home, Christopher ror. That includes Charles Kaiser who, while have time for in his first edition. The other by society’s definition. We were out loud and Street. There are many other versions es- being interviewed by the Washington Post well-known Stonewall book, by Martin Duber- in your face. Rather than beg for our rights, poused by people who were there, historical about his book The Gay Metropolis, was man, focuses on just six people, overdrama- scholars, journalists, and people who like to quoted as saying he thought “The prospect tizes the drama within the community, and is Who threw the first make things up. Let’s parse out the facts and that a funeral service for Garland held on the fueled by his personal, privileged agenda. inconsistences of all of these views. first night of the riots on the city’s Upper East As to the recent Gus Van Sant film, rock? This was a riot, First: who was there? It amazed me, as Side inspired a grieving gay fandom to stand Stonewall, that was a complete disappoint- I was on my book tour, how many people up to police bullies.” No. ment. There is no actual video footage from not an organized came up to me and asked, “You remember Second: who threw the first rock? Again that first Stonewall night, and the photos demonstration. People me from Stonewall?” and wanted me to con- this was a riot, not an organized demonstra- you’ve seen are from the other nights. Cell firm to their friends that tion. People gathered in a phones were not invented as yet. Everything gathered in a semi- they were indeed there. semi-circle around the front you’ve seen in the film is a (largely incorrect) This has been a conten- doors and across the street re-creation built upon the director’s image, circle around the front tious issue to the point that as police were letting people not ours. Several of us who were at Stone- doors and across the now thousands of people out. Something was said to wall offered to help give the filmmakers detail claim to have been present. the police, they said some- and context, but none of us were asked to street as police were To each I said, “It was a riot. thing back and then peo- do so. letting people out. You can’t take attendance at ple started hurling objects Moving on, exactly how many people a riot.” towards the bar. Stones, were at Stonewall? It went on for many hours. Something was said But there are ways to at empty cans. The reality is Some people were there the entire time; oth- least make assumptions on no one actually knows who ers came later. Even more were just passing to the police, they said who was there. The best ac- threw first, or even what by. Was it 50 or 200? We all have different something back and counts are from those who, they threw. views. My personal thought is less than a out of the ashes of Stonewall, Those of us who were hundred from noting the numbers of people then people started created Gay Liberation Front. at Stonewall all have dif- on the street. The participants were scattered Many of us GLF members are ferent accounts, based with the exception of those around the front hurling objects towards still around. Stonewall was on our own memories of door, which might make people think there the bar. Stones, empty not just one night. Those who that night, about what we were more people than there actually were. were there know of the other did. It wasn’t a precision Everything I’ve said thus far is from my cans. The reality is no three nights as well. Those march. Each person had own memory and from reading well-sourced nights helped form GLF. GLF a different experience. materials. But here is what is absolutely one actually knows who and Stonewall are connected at the hip. Stonewall Some gathered at the door known: from Stonewall came Gay Libera- threw first, or even Writings on Stonewall published by our own Inn – as people were let out, tion Front. Without Gay Liberation Front, community during the time period are more in 1969, after some ran up and down the Stonewall would be as remembered as the what they threw. accurate, since mainstream media largely ig- the riots streets letting others know Dewey’s sit-in or the Compton’s riot, both of nored it or was biased. A good place to start what was happening and which happened before Stonewall, but which is Donn Teal’s The Gay Militants, published others wrote on the walls the general public knows little about. GLF, we demanded them. Then we did something by Stein and Day in 1971. Many of those at and streets “Ttomorrow which had many of those who stood tall that even more revolutionary. We created a com- Stonewall contributed to Donn’s work. night Stonewall,” to help first night at Stonewall and who helped orga- munity where there was none before. Before Here’s my simple rule, anyone who prop- organize the rallies in the days after. To me, nize the following three nights, made that first GLF, the only place LGBT people met were agates the myth that we were angry because all the accounts of my brothers and sisters of night historic by realizing that it was the cat- small organizations in large cities, private of the funeral of Judy Garland wasn’t at GLF are correct since each account is their alyst for change that our community needed. parties, a few illegal gay bars, and cruising Stonewall. That myth is an insult to all that own personal memory and their different Some might say that Gay Liberation Front, places. did participate. And it should be obvious, views on what created the riot. Everyone in born from the ashes of Stonewall, might be One month after Stonewall, GLF had its since we were in the counter culture of the GLF has a different perspective and I accept more important then Stonewall itself. first demonstration. We took over Christopher 1960’s, not the 1940s. Garland might have each person. Historians must take all of them Many people in New York in June 1969 Street and told the police it was our home, been the music of some 40- and 50-year-olds in consideration in writing about that historic were fed up with the antiquated tactics of our community, the very first gayborhood. who might have been in the bar, but those night, and thus far most of the work compiled prior movements such as asking for “homo- We invited what today would be called the

12 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com thinking outloud // mark my words trans community, including Sylvia Rivera and just one year is an incredible shift. GLF was Marsha P. Johnson, to join our ranks. They a phenomenon with autonomous chapters created “Street Transvestite Action Revolu- sprouting up all over the nation and the world. tionaries” – STAR. Some of us created Gay GLF created the movement we have today. Youth, the nation’s first organization for LGBT More importantly, GLF created the LGBT youth. We held public dances, public meet- community where there was no community ings. We went on TV and radio shows, we before. printed and distributed publications and med- There are other lessons that could be ical and legal alerts. We even created the first learned from GLF. Today’s LGBT organiza- LGBT community center. If all of that was not tions struggle with what they assume to be enough in that first year, many of us joined the difficulties of the intersection of social jus- with Craig Rodwell and help form the Christo- tice movements working together. GLF joined pher Street Gay Liberation Day March, which with other movements and supported them was the first gay Pride parade. regularly. Likewise, GLF welcomed diversity. How dramatic was this? Before GLF, Here is one last point, one that is person- the nation had only around 100 openly gay al and stated with a sense of pride. GLF was people who would speak on behalf of our by far the most dysfunctional LGBT organi- Karaoke Thursdays with DJ Heather community or show up at a demonstration. zation that has ever existed to this day, and Join us every Thursday night at Mixers Bar for Thirsty Thursday karaoke! In fact, there was only one demonstration that was part of its magic. So much arguing, Come early and sing often! a year. One. That was in Philadelphia each so much yelling, so much disagreement. But Wed. Nov. 14th and 21st July 4th in front of Independence Hall from how else could it have fought off the oppres- 1965-69. That national demonstration never sion of 2,000 years and produced the first American Horror Story Viewing Party Hosted by Lyric Bordeau. Trivia questions with prizes for the winners. drew more than a hundred participants. real out, proud, and in-your-face genera- Ana behind the bar. One year after the creation of GLF, there tion? How else could it have inspired people were anywhere between 5,000 and 15,000 to come out when it was illegal to be openly Thurs. Nov 15th 6-9 p.m. people at that first Gay Pride. The FBI re- gay? Stonewall created GLF, but it was GLF Woofnoot New holiday centering on wolves? Sounds right for "the brotherhood of the port states 3,000, the New York Times states that changed the world. t werewolf." Calling all werewolves and swearwolves for a night 5,000. Those of us who were there think it Courtesy of Philadelphia Gay News of wolf themed antics! was more. But even going from the NYT numbers, from one hundred to thousands in

Offers a safe, warm, and welcoming place for transgender men and women to meet for support and peer networking. Our social group meets twice a month on the 2nd and last Wednesdays, from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Individual support is also available. Program services focus on health and wellness, personal achievement, and community building. All services are free! For more information call Falina at 410-837-5573 AIDS ACTION Baltimore 10 E. Eager Street Baltimore, MD 21202

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 13 thinking outloud

there is true, mortal heart- Benjamin break. Schatz of The Benjamin, who writes Kinsey Sicks much of the shows and lyr- at the 2018 US My Fabulous ics, had something import- Conference ant to say, something that on AIDS Disease had weighed on his mind for By Mark S. King many years. He decided to get it off his padded chest during The Kinsey Sicks’ most recent show, “Things This Drag Queen You Shouldn’t Say.” In a monologue performance Will Steal Your during the show that is as wrenching as it is delicate, Heart... Benjamin takes the risk of breaking character to ex- plain what the early years The Kinsey Sicks have been at this a long of AIDS have done to him time. The a cappella singing group of gay and his community. men in drag are celebrating 25 years of When Trump won, “I performing shows that are equal parts thought ‘Oh shit, I have camp comedy and very of-the-moment po- to write a different show litical humor. than I’ve been planning on,’” Benjamin ing, at least for a few moments, the pure knows down deep that it was true – and Benjamin Schatz is an original mem- explained after a performance at the 2018 comedy that makes the outrageous show how it eventually morphed into greater em- ber of the group, appearing as his drag US Conference on AIDS in Orlando. “I just such a satirical delight. “When we opened pathy for dying gay men. “People wonder alter ego Rachel, a character with a pen- went into some deep place inside myself this show I was terrified,” Benjamin said. if gay marriage came from Will & Grace,” chant for putdowns and a lust for the spot- because I knew we can’t play by the nor- “But I just felt like this monologue was what Benjamin explained, about the roots of light. mal rules now.” I had to do.” queer acceptance in this country, “but no, it But there’s political humor and then Breaking those rules meant abandon- “It was a techtonic shift in came from hundreds of thousands the show. But it’s been one of of dead faggots. That’s where gay the most rewarding things I’ve ... then marriage came from.” ever done.” The Kinsey Sicks have always The response has been completely been political – Benjamin believes WE DESIGNED OUR PLANS overwhelming. “One of the it has hurt the career of the group amazing things about doing this destroy it but they wouldn’t have it any oth- monologue,” Benjamin said, “is er way – and there has even been AROUND YOURS. that we have done this show HIV content in the show before for all kinds of audiences, from (they once did a parody of the LGBT people to straight senior citizens Jackson Five song, “ABC,” called “AZT”). to young people in Scotland, and it reso- This monologue, though, is something nates.” else entirely, and it deserves to be seen That includes the more difficult, emo- and shared. Grab a tissue and take a look. tionally searing elements of the mono- And, if you’re lucky, check to see if your logue, such as the statement that “people city is on their current 25th-anniversary wanted us to die.” Benjamin says that kind tour. t HAWTHORN 1 of sentiment isn’t shared very often, but he

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14 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com quality of life // Health and Wellness

ger is a result of some kind of obstacle to Dear Dr. Eva, a goal, some frustration, maybe a sense of My girlfriend, who is 45, has very differ- Ask helplessness or even, not getting what you Open Wide ent sized breasts. She says they​ have al- want. Your mind and body are signaling ask Dr Eva ways been different, but I am concerned she Dr. J that you need to address the cause. And Dr Eva Hersh might have a tumor. Janan Broadbent, Ph.D. most importantly, this uneasy state will Concerned eventually subside, meaning we get over it. Sometimes it takes longer than what would Dear Concerned, be healthy. The stress hormone, cortisone, Sizes & Asymmetrical breasts are not unusual. When Do was not made by human nature to linger in If a woman’s breasts have been different the body for long periods of time. If it does Measurements sizes since puberty, she is not at any more You Leave an stay around, it causes damage. So here’s a risk of cancer than women with same-sized practical rule: If you’re bothered by some- breasts. If the asymmetry developed in adult- Argument? thing today, and can’t or don’t want to deal Dear Dr. Eva, hood or is increasing over time, it would be with it, sleep on it. If you can’t remember Which has more nutritional value, fellatio good idea to get a clinical breast exam and a So if you are discussing and then arguing what that was the next day, it must not be or cunnilingus? mammogram. Clinical breast exam is part of about an issue or a conflict, what is your that important. But if it is still on your mind Nutrition Major the routine well woman exam and usual modus operandi? Do you get quiet two days later, make it a point to address can be done by most primary care and withdraw? Do you engage fully, and it. The other tip is that if the same issue Dear Nutrition Major, ... and doctors and nurse practitioners as the discourse goes on for a while before or behavior causes you upset, take a long If you have been read- different-sized well as by gynecologists. By age the other party leaves? Do you follow each look at what that is about. ing your assignments, you 50, all women should get these other from one room to another still angry? Examining our own motives and be- should know that, if you do breasts screening tests even if there is Or do you call a timeout havior is a sign of strength it correctly, you won’t get no particular reason for concern. and drop it altogether? and the mark of a healthy any calories from oral sex, The rule is different for women It is impossible to be personality, leading to because you are using con- who have a sister or mother with alive and not to have dis- strong friendships and doms or dental dams and are not taking any breast cancer. In that case, annual mammo- agreements and conflicts relationships. If you know of your partner’s body fluids into your mouth. grams should be started when the woman with other people, especial- that you like to have the To answer the question as an academic ex- is five years younger than her relative was ly with those we care about. last word, ask yourself ercise: the higher protein content in male when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. So how we handle those why that is so important. ejaculate makes it a better nutritional source make a difference in the How does that square off than vaginal fluid, although the amount of Dear Dr. Eva, quality of our relationships. with the value you put on calories is minimal. If you are having sex Is it cleaner to shave your pubies? Is the I have heard people say that they never your partner’s happiness? If you leave a with energy and enthusiasm, you will be skin more sensitive when your genital​ area have arguments. Better stated, they never discussion because you don’t want to up- burning calories at about the same rate as is shaved? deal with or confront the issues. This atti- set him/her, ask yourself if your state of fast walking. JD tude sets it up for one (or more realistically mind is not as important as your partner’s both) parties to harbor resentments that and if so, why? Are you not an equal partic- Dear Dr. Eva, Dear JD, accumulate. That is not a healthy choice ipant in the emotional connection? Does having larger testicles mean a man As far as sensitivity, that’s an individual as it takes its toll not only on the emotional The terrain of relationships is not makes more sperm? perception. However, if you think about it, the connection but also on our physical health. smooth and if it were, it would probably LR most sensitive parts of the genitals are the If you find that the same subjects come up be boring. So, see the challenges as what parts that are naturally hairless, that is the every so often, it’s because they were not makes us thrive and evolve into more un- t Dear Dr. Eva, inner labia, clitoris and penis, so if you are resolved when they first appeared. Some derstanding and loving people. If a man doesn’t release much fluid when seeking sensitivity it makes more sense to people have difficulty handling both their “Assumptions are the termites of rela- he comes, does that mean he’s​ sterile? focus on those naturally hairless areas than own and others’ anger. Remember that an- tionships.” – Henry Winkler Dry it does to shave. Shaving doesn’t make a person cleaner: men who shave their beards Dear LR, Dear Dry, aren’t any cleaner than men who grow them. Hearts and Ears Inc. Reproductive potency can’t be predicted Shaving tends to irritate the skin and cause either from testicular size or by the amount small injuries, increasing the risks of skin in- LGBTQIA+ Wellness & Recovery Center of ejaculate (cum). The Leydig cells that pro- fections like folliculitis and MRSA and open- duce sperm make up less than 10% of the ing pathways for blood-borne infections like testicle. Most of it consists of fibrous structur- hepatitis and HIV. Depilatory creams (hair Hearts & Ears, Inc. is a non-profit organization for Gay, al tissue, so larger testicles don’t necessarily removers) don’t break the skin, but they are Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex and make more sperm. On the other hand, testi- not meant to be used on this sensitive area cles that are small, soft and spongy rather than and often cause irritation. Overall, there are Questioning, and Gender Non-Conforming individuals firm may not be producing sperm. Don’t rely more arguments against shaving the genital with behavioral health issues and concerns. on the size or shape of the testicles for family area than there are for shaving it. t planning, though. The only way to find out how Eva Hersh is a family physician. Send much sperm is in a man’s semen is to get a your comments and questions to her by 611 Park Avenue Suite A, Baltimore, Maryland 21201 • 410-523-1694 sperm count, a lab test in which the sperm in email at publisher@ baltimoreoutloud.com. [email protected] • heartsandears.org ejaculate are counted through a microscope. BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 15 quality of life // Health and Wellness Taking Care of Our Transgender aggressive of a head collision and can Mending range from another head to being stepped Community politics in focus the on. Most times we just knock it against the overhead cabinets, a car door frame, or the wall if you love your job enough. These By Sam McClure olence and a seemingly unending system Gap of barriers fueled by fear, ignorance and Charles Dudley impacts are absorbed by the skull to pro- Chase Brexton LGBT Health tect the brain – job well done! – but can Resource Center stigma. cause the bones to shift, which can cause Since my last writing about the very personal I am a white cisgender lesbian, and other problems besides your glasses not and intimate sting of the news cycle, which at 54 years of age, I must think differ- fitting right. revealed proposals to redefine sex and ently about how I connect with others in Is Your So why is this important? Our sinuses gender in a way that would roll back years my community. When I was younger, I are open spaces embedded in the various of diligent work and progress that brought connected with my LGBTQ family simply Head on bones of our skull. They produce mucous awareness to the true nature of gender, I’ve because of our shared experience in our to keep the nasal passage moist and cre- though more about how we take care of struggle for equality. However, the people I Straight ? ate a barrier against pollutants. They also ourselves and knew best and had real our communi- friendships with were make the skull lighter and give it some We live unbalanced lives. This is a good ty and all the the ones I had the most strength, allowing it to flex a bit without thing. Things don’t move when they are ways we can in common with, peo- breaking when we get our “bell rung.” The balanced and we are always in motion, so do more. ple who were most like sinuses flow from one into the other and by deductive reasoning, we are out of bal- As we be- me. Today there is a have to cross the joints between the bones ance. I see this all the time with posture gin Transgen- growing divide between of the skull, much like the lakes at Walt when people come into my office. I show der Awareness my experience and the Disney World. If the bones are not aligned Month, we’ll them the photos I take of them in front of then the flow of fluid from one sinus to the experience of LGBTQ have many my grid so they can see one arm is fur- other is blocked a little, or a lot, depending folks who are younger opportunities ther away from the body, one shoulder is on the severity of the shift. How many of or older, people of col- to gather in higher than the other. They lay on my table you suffer from sinus head-aches, colds or, living with disabili- support and and most times one leg is longer than the and the flu? If the fluid is not flowing it can ties, gender expansive solidarity with other. Most times I can fix it on the spot be- become stagnant and become more sus- and diverse, and from transgender cause it is a problem with the pelvis, which ceptible to infection. Since we are talking individuals. different socioeconom- is easily corrected. This brings up the idea about colds and the flu, here are some Many of us will ic backgrounds and that if the pelvis is shifted and one leg is numbers: attend a vigil geography. Of course, shorter, then the spine will curve to the • there are over 200 cold viruses out to honor the all this diversity has al- side as well, causing the shoulders to tilt, there Transgender ways been in the fabric which causes the neck to tilt, and the head • 200,000 people are hospitalized from Day of Re- of our community, but to compensate because, after all, our eyes the flu each year, and membrance. now we can see each want to be level! What this then means is • it will effect between 5% (16.3 million) We will reflect other more readily. We the muscles attached to the skull are often to 20% (64.4 million) of us – that is stag- on loss, grief, have so many opportu- tighter on one side than the other, which gering! and violence. This year, sadly, we Chase Brexton’s nities to truly see each other, to can cause the bones of the skull to shift. What can you do? You can feed into are reminded that violence comes Sam McClure sit together and listen and learn This can usually be seen in the eyes with the $40 billion-a-year pharmacological ma- in many forms, including proposed and honor each other. We must one being higher than the other. How are chine for cold remedies (and that may still government regulation. On this day, learn to see and understand your glasses fitting? Do you struggle with be necessary but there are alternatives). we remember transgender people each other. them because they always seem to be off The neti pot can be purchased at any phar- who were taken from us, often with This month we will all see the kilter? Your head is not on straight! macy, and even grocery stores these days. extreme violence, some by an epi- brilliant trend to honor not only How does this happen? There are Follow the directions on the package and demic of suicide fueled by systemic and transgender remembrance and loss, but several reasons. Our work environment do it before you get in the shower. Simply widespread oppression. One of the most also celebrate resilience and power. As can encourage these changes, especially put, it is a way to flush your sinuses with powerful acts of remembrance and rever- we gather and see and hear the names of if you have the same movements you do warm salt water. This loosens up any de- ence to victims of violence is the reading those who’ve been taken from us, let’s also throughout the day. Sitting at a desk, may- bris and helps flush it out. The salt does of names. learn the names of those who are still with be the printer is to one side of you so you two things: This past week I felt a deep sense of us. Let’s learn what makes our brilliantly always twist to that side. Or you’re on an 1) it shrinks the mucous membranes so connection and shared loss with the Jew- diverse community so resilient and power- assembly line moving from one direction to you can breathe better, ish community after the mass shooting at ful and what we can all do to strengthen, the other. Same with lifting packages. Try 2) it makes the sinuses a little more t Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh when I nurture, and care for each other. it from the opposite side once and see how acidic so viruses and bacteria cannot grow heard and read the names of the victims. In Sam McClure is director of the LGBT awkward it feels! Another cause can be as well. doing so, they cease to be represented as Health Resource Center of Chase Brex- stepping off a curb too hard. The jolt works Of course the other thing you can do statistical data – they are people. We need ton Health Care. For more about the care its way up the leg, into the pelvis, up the is see a physical therapist who can realign to remember names and honor the lives that Chase Brexton offers for transgender indi- spine, and to the skull – causing a shift of your cranial plates and mobilize your si- have been taken. Even more important than viduals, visit Chasebrexton.orgranscare. the plates. I love me some Flamingos! Our nuses. Email me at [email protected] this, we must see and know the transgender rugby team brings me to the next cause, for more information. t and gender diverse people who are among hitting your head. In rugby it’s a bit more us and thriving even amidst threats of vi- 16 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com quality of life // Health and Wellness

Researcher Dr. Stuart Murray at the Uni- feel, and experience. It is my home, not versity of California – San Francisco writes my billboard. I’m a large, proud man tak- What’s Eating Him? ing up my space in the world with joy and that if you include muscle dysmorphia the By Andrew Walen mostly for depression, but numbers are even more equal. Yet we go laughter. I’m a father, husband, therapist, Ever since I was a kid, I’ve once I was finally diagnosed without treatment at incredible high rates struggled with thinking I’m ugly Bringing eating with an eating disorder at 30 and suffer and die silently in and fat. This in itself is not so years old, my life finally be- the shadows. Eating disor- uncommon these days, even for disorders, and gan to turn around. Still, why ders are the deadliest mental boys. But when my body-image did it have to take nearly two illness there is according to issues spiraled into an eating men who suffer decades before someone the Academy for Eating Dis- disorder, nobody ever thought to from them, out saw I had an eating disorder? orders. ask me about issues with food Whether it’s 1982 when my My passion is to ensure and body image. You see, in the of the shadows eating disorder really began nobody is left out of the dis- 1980s and 90s,eating disorders or 2018, eating disorders in cussion anymore when it were considered a young, white, males are comes to eat- teenage girl problem among the psychi- terribly under-diagnosed. ing disorders atrists and therapists from whom I sought The most frequently cit- recognition counseling for my “depression.” ed statistic is that males and treat- I was a chubby teen boy being told re- make up about 10% of ment. In 2008, peatedly I was too fat to be acceptable to eating disorder cases. I started the my peers, too slow for my athletic coach- That number has been Body Image es, too embarrassing for my family, and roundly disputed, and Therapy Cen- just too damn big by any number of people the National Association ter, and in advocate, ally, entrepreneur, who seemed to have an opinion and sway for Males with Eating 2014 published Man Up and musician. Being fully recovered from over my food intake. To me, food was the Disorders (NAMED – to Eating Disorders, all in an eating disorders allows for this full life. epicenter of love, joy and happiness in my full disclosure, I am the the hopes of destigmatiz- I’m forever grateful for it. t lonely world. It felt like everyone wanted to president of this non-profit) cites research ing this disease and getting as many into The author is a licensed social worker take that away, leaving me even more vigi- that shows the number is closer to 33% for treatment as possible. and a certified eating disorder specialist. lant and anxious. As I grew older, I realized anorexia and bulimia, and approximately So how am I doing now? I’m happy! I that weight loss seemed to be the thing that 40% for those with binge eating disorder. appreciate my body for all that it can do, made everyone proudest of me. Since attention was what I wanted most, I didn’t care if my crash diets left me weak, irritable, loopy and tired. I didn’t care that ANDRE SHAKTI living like that was unsustainable, that I’d become an emotional wreck, or that I’d in- evitably be driven to suicidal thinking. Nope. I needed the high praise that came for hav- ing a slender body. People picked on me less at school. Ev- ery now and again a cute girl might find me cute, too. And all my male role models final- ly found me acceptable, whether it was my Sex, swimming or baseball coach, a doctor, or my father. Losing weight may not be the easiest Intimacy and way to get attention, but it was the best and Relationship Coaching most effective method I had at my disposal, for Every Body and it reinforced my unhealthy relationship with food. You might ask if anyone ever said that my weight made me unacceptable or if my ideas about myself were some sort of neurotic, TV- and magazine-influenced • Culturally Competent behavior. Sadly, whether it was from family • Accessible members or from the media, I sure as hell heard that being overweight was a precur- • Emotionally Intuitive sor to certain death, shameful to my family, and a reason no woman would want to be with me. And it wasn’t just me. As an adult, I learned that my grandparents, parents, and Cell: 856-906-0526 siblings alike were also ashamed of their (text or call) bodies, and that I was not the only fami- ly member with an eating disorder history IAmPoly.net/Coaching thanks in large part to the fear and loathing for More Information of fat that raged through our family psyche. I saw several therapists over the years,

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 17 quality of life // Health and Wellness

Dear Marc, own gender identity and pre- If interest- The In Breathe. You’re doing a good job. sentation expectations on their ed in a trans and Transgender folks are among the most partners, and/or internalize a person, you vulnerable populations in our society. partner’s transition to mean should first do Out While physical assault and fatal violence something about their own iden- your homework Andre Shakti disproportionately impact transgender tity. Other times cis folks fail to on the system- women of color, all transgender individ- recognize the privileges they ic oppression uals are subject to an onslaught of daily inherently carry that their trans- that trans folks micro and macroaggressions. These can gender partners do not and can face (beyond Dating be as “mild” as being misgendered, dead- belittle their partners very valid writing to me, named, or facing other concerns, par- that is!). De- Transitionally kinds of psychological ticularly around velop an in- and emotional bully- safety and formed under- ing, and as “severe” as “passing privi- standing of Dear Andre, homelessness, employ- lege.” Addition- how intersect- I’m a 50-year-old gay man falling for ment discrimination, or a ally, trans people ing trauma a transgender man for the first time. The complete lack of access are often heav- can permeate feelings seem to be reciprocated, but lately to healthcare services. ily fetishized in the various I’ve found myself hesitating to take things Or, you know, having our culture, and levels of a further than flirtation. Not because I have your federal government even the queer- trans person’s any personal qualms about being with leak a memo seeking to est of cis people can life, including romantic and sexual relation- someone trans, mind you, but honestly, I define “transgender” out sexually objectify their ships, and get comfortable acknowledging don’t have any trans friends and am just of existence. No biggie. trans partners. The act of your own privilege. Consume media that is generally worried that I’m going to say Unfortunately, trans “chasing” is, indeed, root- written or produced by trans people, Listen something “stupid,” or be a terrible lover, people can’t even count ed in a cultural assump- and believe trans voices, and get involved or something else that will screw this up on the rest of the LGBTQ tion that the only reason in local initiatives that benefit the trans before it even starts. Help! community to have their someone would want to community. Don’t be a lazy ally! Marc F. backs. Many times, cis- be with a trans person is With all this being said, trans people gender partners of trans because of a sexual fe- are human beings before they are any- credit: TGDigital individuals place their tish. thing else. Before you approach your love interest as transgender, try approaching him as a person. Ask him what kind of cuisine he favors, and then invite him to GET PREPPED ON PrEP dinner with you! It’s really that easy. If the date goes well, follow up with another one A Town Hall Meeting on soon thereafter. Don’t put the cart before the horse and allow your anxieties about HIV PREVENTION & PRE EXPOSURE PROPHYLAXIS: potential future sexual fumbles or long- TRANScending Barriers - Quality Sexual Healthcare for the Trans Community term relationship inadequacies distract you from enjoying yourself and determin- Please join us for a Trans Sexual Health Forum to address the barriers faced by the ing whether you and this man are even Trans community in accessing quality healthcare services including PREP and PEP. romantically compatible in the first place! We will provide a safe space for members of the Trans community to share their lived If after a few dates’ things seem to be experiences in varied health care settings. We will also provide a space for workers, going well, go ahead and open up to him providers and Trans people to identify practical solutions to healthcare about your concerns. Reinforce how fond challenges as well as a collective way forward. you are of him, let him know that you’ve never dated someone trans before, reas- sure him that it is who he is as a person – DATE: Wednesday, November 28, 2018 • ArchitecturAlly-stunning not his “trans-ness” – that you are attract- TIME: 6:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. wedding venue • ed to, and recognize that you’re still a work in progress who is asking for his patience. LOCATION: The Waxter Center • indOOR & OuTdOOR wedding It’s not only “okay” to admit when we lack 1000 Cathedral Street at Eager Street CeReMOnieS, ReCePTiOnS, knowledge about a certain identity, demo- And eLOPeMenTS • graphic, or experience; it’s endearing. It Baltimore, MD 21201 • OveR 30 SAMe-Sex weddingS shows that you are comfortable accessing Food and refreshments will be provided your vulnerability and confident confessing SinCe 2013 • ignorance around a sensitive topic. Please RSVP to [email protected] Follow us on Instagram and Facebook at Finally, you need to accept that your Hosted by AIDS Action Baltimore ChaseCourtWeddingVenue love interest may opt out of dating you Sponsored by: Chase Brexton Health Care, Center for Black Equity-Baltimore, 410-727-1112 • chasecourt.com based on your inexperience, and that’s okay. Sometimes marginalized people GLCCB, Johns Hopkins Center for AIDS Research, REACH Initiative & Total Health Care 1112 Saint Paul Street, Baltimore, MD don’t have the emotional spoons to be Supported by funding from Gilead Sciences, Inc. Owned and Operated by David Egan, wedding columnist for BaltimoreOUTloud. someone’s “first” no matter how wonderful and IMPACT a Baltimore City Health Department Campaign a person you may be. t 18 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com SPIRITUAL DIRECTORY Chevrei Tzedk Congregation Baltimore Ethical Society Govans Presbyterian Church 3101 Fallstaff Road, 306 W Franklin Street, #102 5828 York Road. Baltimore, MD 21209 Baltimore, MD 21201 Baltimore MD 21212 410-581-2322. baltimoreethicalsociety.org 410-435-9188. govanspres.org [email protected] www.chevreitzedek.org Bolton Street Synagogue Interfaith Fairness 212 West Coldspring Lane Coalition of MD (443) 992-7485 Baltimore, MD 21210 P.O. Box 13132 410-235-5354. boltonstreet.org Baltimore MD 21203 RABBI RORY KATZ 410-233-5555. ifcmd.org JTS Gladstein Fellow Brown Memorial Park Avenue Presbyterian Church MCC of Baltimore An informal, Welcoming, Participatory, Conservative Jewish Community 1316 Park Avenue 405 West Monument Street. Baltimore MD 21217 Baltimore MD 21201 410-523-1542. browndowntown.org 410-669-6222 mccbaltimore.org Chevrei Tzedek Congregation 3101 Fallstaff Road Memorial Episcopal Church Baltimore MD 21209 1407 Bolton Street 443-992-7485. chevreitzedek.org Baltimore MD 21217 410-669-0220 Congregation Beit Tikvah memorialepiscopal.org 5802 Roland Avenue Baltimore MD 21210 New Light MCC 410-464-9402. beittikvah.org 40 W. Church Street Hagerstown MD 21740 Emmanuel Episcopal Church 301-797-5698 811 Cathedral Street newlightmcc.com Baltimore, MD 21201 410-685-1130. emmanueldowntown.org The Church of the Advent 1301 South Charles Street First and Franklin Street. Baltimore, MD 21230 Presbyterian Church 410-539-7804 210 W. Madison Street advent-baltimore.org 䄀䰀䰀 䄀刀䔀 圀䔀䰀䌀伀䴀䔀 Baltimore MD 21201-4693 410-728-5545. firstfranklin.org Veritas United Church 䴀愀猀猀 匀挀栀攀搀甀氀攀 of Christ 匀愀琀甀爀搀愀礀 㔀㨀㌀ 瀀⸀洀 First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 22 N Mulberry Street., Suite 113 匀甀渀搀愀礀 㤀 愀⸀洀⸀Ⰰ ㄀ 㨀㐀㔀 愀⸀洀⸀Ⰰ ㄀㈀㨀㄀㔀 瀀⸀洀 1 West Hamilton Street. Hagerstown, MD 21740 刀攀挀漀渀挀椀氀椀愀琀椀漀渀 椀猀 愀瘀愀椀氀愀戀氀攀 匀愀琀甀爀搀愀礀猀 愀琀 㐀㨀㌀ 瀀⸀洀⸀ 琀漀 㔀 瀀⸀洀⸀ Baltimore MD 21201 240- 310-6891 410-685-2330. firstunitarian.net veritashagerstown.com 䌀漀渀琀愀挀琀 匀琀⸀ 䈀攀爀渀愀搀攀琀琀攀 倀愀爀椀猀栀 Grace United Methodist Church 䐀攀愀挀漀渀 䘀爀攀搀 倀愀猀猀愀甀攀爀 㠀 ㄀ 匀琀攀瘀攀渀猀漀渀 刀漀愀搀 5407 North Charles Street 匀攀瘀攀爀渀Ⰰ 䴀愀爀礀氀愀渀搀 ㈀㄀㄀㐀㐀ⴀ㈀㈀㤀㤀 Baltimore, MD 21210 倀愀爀椀猀栀 䄀搀洀椀渀椀猀琀爀愀琀漀爀 410-433-6650. graceunitedmethodist.org 㐀㄀ ⴀ㤀㘀㤀ⴀ㈀㜀㠀㌀ 㐀㄀ ⴀ㤀㘀㤀ⴀ㈀㜀㠀㌀

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BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 19 Lively Arts // out on stage ‘Queen of Mean’ Becomes ‘Queen of Lean’ at Center Stage By Frankie Kujawa stories exudes has my most passionate sub- are sensitive about something) – once that so well with LGBT audiences? Do you see Lisa Lampanelli returns to Baltimore’s Center ject ever, which is about weight and food is- happens we find something about ourselves similarities, as you evolve, with those of Stage this month with her upcoming perfor- sues. I’ve included stories that are told in a to have shame about. I don’t think it begins the LGBT community? mance of Lisa Lampanelli’s Losin’ It. Perform- positive, funny way. and ends with social media or society – it I’ve been very lucky how well LGBT audi- ing on Saturday, November 17th at 8 pm, the Lisa, talk to our readers about body begins with someone pointing out that thing ences got me. I feel that they thought, “Hey, show shines an intimate but hilarious light on image. Why is it so damn hard, especially you’re sensitive about, and for you the world she’s an outsider, too.” I think they will roll the universal problems of weight and body im- in society today, to have a positive body changes. Those raised by even the most per- with my new material, the way they rolled with age. Inspired to put the show together by go- image? fect parents can’t even make it right. My par- me from the beginning. I had many gay guys ing through her own journey with these issues, Honestly, I don’t think it’s just today’s ents never made me feel less or more than, approach me when I did the play Stuffed in Lampanelli decided that storytelling was the but I was fucked up about self-images issues. New York a few years ago. They told me how perfect way to convey feelings and sense of “Anyone who’s suffered I believe gay men have it the hardest. Straight many of them went through the same experi- humor about the subjects. Speaking exclusive- men have it, too. This show resonates with ences, too. People who change allow change ly to Baltimore OUTloud, Lampanelli candidly from body-image or everyone who sees it for that reason. in other people. If someone is sitting around shared how her recent retirement from stand- As the former “Queen of Mean” ti- and never evolving, they won’t get what I’m up comedy has helped the former Queen of weight problems will tle-holder, it seems that lately you’ve trying to do here, and that’s okay. If I never Mean become the new Queen of Lean. get a lot out of this recently added the titles “Storyteller,” make a dime from this I don’t care. I’m sup- Frankie Kujawa: How would you de- “Workshop Leader,” and “Inspiration” posed to have a message and my message is scribe your upcoming production Lisa show.” to your repertoire. It seems the “Queen clear now: self-love, accept other people, and Lampanelli’s Losin’ It? of Mean” is now the don’t fill the hole in your life with Lisa Lampanelli: Well this is a storytell- society. That’s where I disagree that it is so- “Queen of Lean” and food, men, or shopping. What’s ing show. If you ever saw any of the shows cial media’s fault. In my opinion, everyone is the “Empress of Inspi- the worst that could happen with where a bunch of stories are told by actors born feeling they are fine the way they are. ration.” Do you find this this new endeavor? My message and comedians who offer different takes on However, something happens along the line change liberating? gets out and I move in with my similar experiences, that’s what you’ll see that causes someone to doubt how they view If you missed it this mother? (laughs) We are always with this. My show, it’s more curated – which themselves. Whether it’s a teacher, a parent, week (October 30th), I afraid to change. We have to means the stories are well written, super fun- an imagined insult (something that wasn’t in- went on Howard Stern, play for audiences who change ny, and a lot of laughs. Every one of these sulting that we take as insulting because we and retired from stand-up. themselves as people and, but Howard was kind enough I think audiences will say, “I get to let me do my final act of it she is changing but she’s the stand-up comedy on the same Lisa. She’s still funny.” A MUST SEE SEASON! show. I just don’t want to Baltimore is ecstatic do it anymore. It’s not help- about your return to Center ing society. I don’t think Stage after last year’s White it’s something my heart is Rabbit / Red Rabbit. Did you in anymore. I told Howard enjoy your time in Baltimore that I’m going to do food last year? Let Me Entertain You! and body workshops, and Lisa It was unbelievable! First these storytelling shows. For me, Lampanelli of all, I felt that the show was ® at this point, if it doesn’t have this message of really awesome to do. It was self-acceptance and self-love on the surface, like, “Oh, look at me – I’m being an actor!” I’m not doing it. I want to focus on humor with But, Baltimore is really cool. I’m asking for a a lot of heart in it. By retiring from stand-up, I lot from the people of Baltimore because it’s want it clear that I have love for everyone. If such racially-sensitive city. I want audienc- that message is not going to resonate through es to know this is a very multicultural show. my stand-up, then I’m now going to do it this I hope the people of Baltimore include me way through workshops and storytelling. This because I’m not doing that racial comedy journey now has my heart. Every time I do a anymore. I’ve left the racial comedy behind. workshop or storytelling event, it makes my It doesn’t work for me, or society, anymore. heart feel better. It hasn’t been that way with I want anyone who has suffered from any stand-up for a long time. body-image stuff or weight problems to know Trust me, I love insult comedy and hard- they will get a lot out of this show. I want peo- core comedy, but it’s just not me right now. I do ple who ever suffered from body-hatred from think we change as people. I had some things food to feel they are not alone, to go, “Oh my happen to me in my life, like with my dad pass- God! It’s not just me.” I think that’s why a lot ing away and working on some service-orient- of gay audiences like it, too. With this show, Order On-Line at ed projects, and doing this is where I felt best. you’ll be laughing 90% of the time and the TobysDinnerTheatre.com We only feel best for the world when we do other 10% is like, “Oh yeah, that’s me too.” our best. When I went on Howard’s show, and Baltimore audiences will find that this show is 410-730-8311 retired from stand-up, I felt like I lost another me, just on a different level. Spread the word 100 pounds. It felt phenomenal. all you can, I just want to help people! t 5900 Symphony Woods Road • Columbia, MD 21044 • Due to the nature of theatrical bookings, all shows and dates are subject to change. Why do you think that you resonate

20 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com Lively Arts // out on stage Center Stage’s King of Yees: Exploring Lives in Chinatown 201819 SEASON By Frankie Kujawa be will want to call their parents after the Baltimore’s Center Stage’s current produc- show. (laughs) tion of King of Yees is an absolute master- Do you feel a direct connection to piece. The play is a hilarious and heartfelt this piece? generational story of a Chinese-American Sure! I am Chinese, and I grew up in family. Audiences will fall in love with play- a very Chinese-centered culture in Central wright Lauren Yee who, in this production, California with a very cultural Chinatown. has always felt like an outsider, especially In terms of how I grew up in America ver- compared to her father, Larry, the unofficial sus how my parents grew up is very true to center of their Chinese-American commu- nity. When Larry suddenly goes missing, “I think this show Lauren has to chase through time, space, and the fourth wall itself to find her father, will be a cultural save his story, and chronicle a vanishing touchstone for those piece of American culture. Baltimore OUT- loud recently chatted with director Desde- who identify with mona Chiang about the production. Frankie Kujawa: What can audienc- Chinatown, and a es expect from this performance? delightful tour for Desdemona Chiang: I think this show FRI, NOV 23, 8 PM • SAT, NOV 24, 8 PM • SUN, NOV 25, 3 PM will be a cultural touchstone for those who those who don’t know TICKETS FROM $30 identify with Chinatown, and a delightful much about it.” tour for those who don’t know much about The sensational, Grammy Award-winning trumpeter Chris Botti brings his it. I think that audiences will get different extraordinary band to the Meyerhoff Symphony Hall for a Thanksgiving things from the show as they watch it per- me. Those issues, the way you think your weekend of concerts, featuring performances of “Let’s Stay Together” and parents are strange and they don’t under- formed on stage. Some will understand “My Funny Valentine.” the community and the messages will hit stand you, that journey is really personal home. Those that don’t know the commu- for me. It’s something I think that you don’t The BSO is not performing on this program. nity, as well, will find that this is a great understand or get until you become an THE APPEARANCE OF TRUMPETER CHRIS BOTTI way to get to know the community. adult. PRESENTING MEDIA You have a history with some of the SPONSOR: PARTNER: IS MADE POSSIBLE THROUGH THE MAJOR SUPPORT OF This production marks your direc- THE RUTH BLAUSTEIN ROSENBERG GUEST ARTIST FUND. torial debut here at Baltimore Center cast members, I heard. Stage. What do you hope I previously directed this play in Seat- UPCOMING CONCERTS tle, and half of that Which way to the cast came here to JOSHUA BELL melting pot? Baltimore. I then FRI, NOV 30, 8 PM brought on two new SUN, DEC 2, 3 PM actors for this com- Cristian Măcelaru, conductor pany. So, it’s an in- Joshua Bell, violin teresting combina- RIMSKY-KORSAKOV May Night Overture tion of new and old VAUGHAN WILLIAMS Symphony No. 4 SAINT-SAËNS Violin Concerto No. 3 folks. Even though Joshua Bell half the company is RAVEL Tzigane old and new, it feels like a new experi- ence as new folks HANDEL MESSIAH brings a new flavor SAT, DEC 8, 8 PM and it’s a great alche- SUN, DEC 9, 3 PM my. Working with Bal- Experience Handel’s great masterwork, including the iconic "Hallelujah" Chorus, featuring the timore Center Stage Concert Artists of Baltimore Symphonic Chorale. has been a wonder- Concert Artists of Baltimore Symphonic Chorale ful experience. And there’s something so warm and hospitable about Baltimore. It’s JOSEPH MEYERHOFF SYMPHONY HALL that audiences take away from this per- like family at Center Stage. There’s just 410.783.8000 • BSOMUSIC.ORG formance? so much spirit and joy in that theatre. I’ve I hope folks have a good time and may- loved my time working here! t

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 21 Law Office of David M. Lutz, P.A.

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Se Habla Español 1901 Fleet Street Baltimore, MD 21231 Phone: 410-558-3700 (English) 410-299-2898(Español) E-mail: [email protected] www.lawlutz.com Lively Arts // out on stage Baltimore Native Comes Home for Fiddler on the Roof By Frankie Kujawa For Baltimore-native Eric Berey, returning just connect to it so much. Just thinking about to Charm City this November means more it during this interview makes me excited.” than just visiting his hometown roots. Berey, Berey added that having special members an ensemble member in the North American in his family and life attend this performance, national tour of Fiddler on the Roof, is excit- also will be cathartic. “My grandmother, my ed to bring his classic musical background to Bubbie – my dad’s mom, she grew up with Baltimore’s Hippodrome Theatre. Running from November 13th to 18th Fiddler on the “My grandmother, Roof tells the story of Tevye, the father of five daughters, and his attempts to maintain his my Bubbie – my dad’s Jewish religious and cultural traditions as out- mom, she grew up with side influences encroach upon on his family members’ lives. this music. She sang “Baltimore audiences need to come see ‘Sunrise, Sunset’ at my Peabody Opera Outreach this show,” began Berey. “It’s a beautiful sto- presents ry about community and tradition, as well as father’s bar mitzvah, holding onto religion and family. It’s about holding onto that Jewish tradition. There are and it’s full circle that so many amazing themes that people can I get to perform it for As connect to in this performance. Some include holding on to your religion, and what you her now.” want to do with your life once you realize you don’t want to hold onto [religion] anymore. this music. She sang ‘Sunrise, Sunset’ at my The story evolves throughout the three hours father’s bar mitzvah, and it’s full circle that I of the show, and I think audiences will take a get to perform it for her now. I haven’t told ONE lot away from it.” my grandmother too many details because by Laura Kaminsky As an ensemble member, Berey plays I want her to be completely overwhelmed many roles throughout the performance. “I when she sees it.” James Harp, stage director play a character who is a beggar, and then I While reflecting on the enduring lega- also play a Jewish son. I also play a Russian cy of the musical, Berey believes that mu- JoAnn Kulesza, music director in the ‘To Life’ musical number.” sic makes the performance transcendental Berey began taking theatre for audiences. “I classes in elementary school. Eric think people love Soon after, he started taking Berey the music. I love dance and music lessons. He at- the music. It’s so Laura Kaminsky’s As One is a chamber opera in which two tended the Carver Center for Arts funny, because my and Technology High School in dad was saying the voices — Hannah after and Hannah before — share the part Towson while also taking dance other day that some of a sole transgender protagonist in a poignant coming- classes at Towson University’s shows only have of-age story with a universal theme of identity, authenticity, Children’s Dance Division. He one iconic song that began to double major in both audiences remem- and compassion. This production is performed in honor of dance and theatre while at Carv- ber. With Fiddler, Transgender Awareness month. er. He eventually went on to however, people graduate from Emerson College know almost every with a BFA in acting. song. From ‘Match- Motor House Friday “I’m so excited to return to maker, Matchmaker’ to the ‘Sunrise, Sun- 120 West North Avenue November 16 | 8:00 pm Baltimore for this performance,” For tickets: Berey exclaimed. “When I saw set,’ the music can motorhousebaltimore.com Saturday we were going to Baltimore, last throughout gen- erations because it’s $20 general admission November 17 | 3:00 pm and I would have the chance for my family to see me perform so beautiful. The sto- $10 students A poetry reading by transgender artists will precede each performance. at the Hippodrome for my first ry is also something Broadway tour, I was speech- so many people can less. I have had such a sup- connect to, through portive family. My whole life they encouraged many different generations. My grandmother me and supported me. To be in a show with grew up with it, and here I am doing the musi- these themes while also being Jewish … I cal. It’s just incredible.” t

22 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com Lively Arts // Celebrity interview // QMusic Sassy & Suburban Sound Tracking a movie which has been described as a —continued from page 1 By Gregg Shapiro My son Frankie is doing incredible, as well! If you make plans to go to see a movie “love letter to the 1970s,” perfectly cap- He has a 4.0 GPA at Sacred Heart College in early November 2018, you’ll have your tures both the mood of the era and the film son, viewers saw Catania’s friendship with and just bought his first house. My kids have pick of several titles featuring queer char- itself. The inclusion of The Kinks’ “Lola” cast member Teresa Guidice bristle at times. worked every summer since 11 years old. acters, including Yen Tan’s brilliant and and Scott Walker’s “30th Century Man” This season, the two friends seem to be back Frankie has a fantastic work ethic. I’m also devastating 1985 and Melissa McCarthy also help to set the period tone. on steady ground. “Teresa and I are fine. Our so excited because Frankie is also now doing playing gay in Can You Ever Forgive Me. There was so much to admire and en- friendship is solid. An over 30-year friendship business with his father, Frank. You’ll see the The overt queerness of A Star is Born is joy about the action flick Baby Driver, Ed- doesn’t end on rocky times. A relationship new business this season. They’ve gone into either the most calculated move in recent gar Wright’s 2017 Ansel Elgort vehicle. In that is as long as ours is won’t break up sim- the house-flipping business, and you’ll see memory or a love letter to gay fans. Yes, ply over things that may happen. Teresa had why on this season. Frank and I have also Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand are be- “Rick and Morty (Sub a lot of things going on last year, especial- become partners in business again.” loved by the LGBTQ community (and Gar- Pop) features original ly with the passing of her mother. I wouldn’t Working tirelessly for important causes land’s A Star is Born was directed by a gay ever hold anything that she said last year close to her heart of gold is what also sets man), but the new version, directed and music by the show’s against her considering what she was go- Catania apart from other co-written by Bradley Cooper is the gay- ing through.” “Housewives.” She contin- est of all. You can definitely hear it on the composer Ryan Elder. Last season, we also ues working closely with St. A Star is Born Soundtrack (Interscope). The blacklight poster saw the exit of Catania’s Joseph’s Hospital in Pater- In the movie, Alli (Lady Gaga) is a singer ‘partner-in-crime’ and cast- son, New Jersy. “I’m work- in a drag bar. Her “Somewhere Over the included with the disc mate Siggy Flicker. “Siggy ing on a Christmas party for Rainbow” warm-up snippet (a nod to Gar- and I are still close. I don’t the foundation there, right land) and goosebump-inducing rendition of is an added bonus.” get to see her and talk to now,” Catania explained. “La Vie En Rose” (introduced by “RuPaul’s her as much, but we’re still “Along with the hospital, Drag Race” vet Shangela) are as gay as addition to starring the exquisite Elgort, the there for each other. She my biggest charity work you can get. The remaining Gaga tunes on movie was funny and fast-paced and thrill- has been travelling as much right now is for the Hilltop the soundtrack that are duets with Cooper, ing, and featured a soundtrack of classic as me, and she’s been back Family Shelter in Pater- including those co-written by her such as tunes from a variety of eras. Baby Driver and forth from Florida and to son.” Catania added that “Shallow,” “I Don’t Know What Love Is,” – Volume 2: The Score for a Score (30th Israel. She and her husband even though her heart will and “Music to My Eyes,” are all solid num- Century / Columbia), expands on the con- Michael are better than ever. always be present while bers. Gaga’s solos – “Look What I Found,” cept, incorporating Steven Price’s score, She also recently had ankle working with such animal “Always Remember Us this Way,” “Is that dialogue excerpts and song selections by surgery, but that won’t hold charities as the Onyx & All Right,” “Before I Cry,” “I’ll Never Love Run the Jewels, Boards of Canada, the Siggy down for long!” Breezy Foundation, her Again,” and even “Hair Body Face,” are Foundations, Kid Koala, and others. Regarding her relationship passion has now turned welcome additions to her canon. Cooper Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland’s with some of the new ladies to a homeless shelter holds his own alongside Gaga (far better Rick and Morty, about the unusual part- joining the cast this season, for women and children than Kris Kristofferson did with Streisand), nership of grandfather Rick and teenaged Catania added, “I’ve always in her former home- and the songs he co-wrote with (Willie’s grandson Morty, is one of the funniest and credited myself as being a good town. “I found out that son) Lukas Nelson, fit his character’s mod- most outrageous animated shows on Car- friend. But it takes me a while this organization need- ern country persona. toon Network’s Adult Swim. In addition to to call someone a ‘friend.’ I just ed a lot of help, and no Comprised of original Queen and Smile songs by Clipping, Belly, Mazzy Star, Chad don’t call someone I may have one really knew much (pre-Queen band) recordings, Bohemi- VanGaalen, and Blonde Redhead, the met two minutes ago a ‘friend.’ I about it. I stumbled on the organization from an Rhapsody: The Original Soundtrack soundtrack to Rick and Morty (Sub Pop) really have to get to know them before I open my brother, who told me about this shelter. (Hollywood) is bound to appeal to fans of features original music by the show’s com- myself up to someone. Whoever is in my From there, I’ve been really getting involved Queen and the movie (in which Rami Malek poser Ryan Elder. The blacklight poster world, I have to trust them. I’m open about with the shelter and working closely with does a fantastic job of portraying Freddie included with the disc is an added bonus. my life and my feelings, and I want to have the mayor in Paterson. The mayor and I are Mercury) in equal measure. If for no other Based on storyteller/musician Eric that trust with someone in my life if they’re working together to help restore the city of reason than to have the Queen version of Litwin’s book series of the same name, going to be my friend.” Paterson and the people in it.” the “20th Century Fox Fanfare” intro, the Pete the Cat (UMe / ASG), the various For the charmingly delightful Catania, As Catania’s celebrity star-status contin- soundtrack is worth hearing for the “revis- artists soundtrack to the new animated however, it is her role as mother that is of ues to rise as a “Real Housewife,” it’s obvious ited” version of Smile’s “Doing All Right,” Amazon Prime Video family program is a utmost importance in her life. “My daughter that her unbounding love and devotion to her the “movie mix” of “We Will Rock You,” the purr-fect musical companion. Featuring a Gabby is on the dean’s list in St. Kitts at vet children, family, and people in need allows Live Aid renditions of “Radio Gaga,” and wide range of performers, including Elvis school right now and working so hard. Many this housewife to shine both the brightest and “Bohemian Rhapsody,” the live Rock in Rio Costello, Diana Krall and KT Tunstall (all don’t realize there is so much hard work that realest as a person. Festival version of “Love of My Life,” as of whom provide character voices in the goes into becoming a vet, but it’s really start- To find out more about the philanthropic well as the “Don’t Stop Me Now” revisited, show), the expanded 28-track edition of ing to click and flow for her. Her grades are causes near and dear to Dolores’s heart, fol- to mention a few. the disc boasts nine holiday bonus tracks unbelievable! Along with her education, she’s low Dolores on Instagram @dolorescatania Composer Daniel Hart, who has pro- performed by Jason Mraz, Dave Matthews, t also helping to write a medical protocol on the and tune into “The Real Housewives of New vided the score for a number of David Low- and others. island she’s on right now, helping orphans, Jersey” airing on Wednesdays at 9 pm. t ery films, reunites with the director for The and fostering many dogs who are suffering, Old Man & the Gun. Hart’s score for The all while studying. She’s just unbelievable! Old Man & the Gun (Varese Sarabande), BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 23 Lively Arts // out on SCREEN Rami Malek Rocks Out in Bohemian Rhapsody by Chuck Duncan Lee), Roger Taylor (Ben Hardy), and John But this is the problem with the movie Freddie forged bravely on stage at Live Bohemian Rhapsody has had a tumultuous Deacon (Joe Mazzello). At one point one as I’ve described it – it’s more a series of Aid with this dark cloud hanging over him history in getting to the big screen. At one of the guys mentions his wife and kids ... vignettes than one cohesive story. We get and the band whereas in real life he didn’t point, Sacha Baron Cohen was attached whom we never meet, so the rest of Queen a sense of Freddie’s relationship with the get the diagnosis until two years after Live to play Freddie Mercury but when the dust is represented but this is really Mercury’s rest of the guys, who felt they were all so Aid. I can see as that is the closing portion settled it was Rami Malek who scored the story. We see Mercury put his foot down different but somehow were a little family of the movie that they took some dramat- coveted role with with the head of the record label who does that made this thing work, but it just doesn’t ic license with this detail but it really does Bryan Singer direct- But Freddie not want to release “Bohe- feel like a fully developed story. There are a disservice to the audience who are now ing. Then Singer mian Rhapsody” also some issues with how the seeing this performance in an artificially was fired just before Mercury as a single (and movie manufactured light. As storytelling goes, the film wrapped it seems Mike the movie is not that success- production due to biopic plays Meyers was cast ful. conflicts with Malek as this fiction- However and his own sexu- fast & loose al character to ... there is al assault / abuse make a Wayne’s one reason scandal, and the with singer’s World joke), we to see Bohe- movie was complet- see Freddie mian Rhap- ed by Dexter Fletch- AIDS story push his band sody on the er (although Singer mates to create big screen retains sole directorial credit). Then the some astonish- and that is for movie ran into some trouble with fans who ing music, we Rami Malek’s were knocking the movie before they had see Freddie bravura per- even seen it, complaining about what they fall madly in formance as perceived was a whitewashing of Mercu- love with Mary Mercury. The ry’s flamboyant life because of what was Austin and movie does not shown in the first trailer. then realize shy away from That’s a lot for one movie to have to she’s not re- his sexuality or endure, but scandals aside, the movie ally what he his ethnicity, as is going to succeed or fail based on the wants even many had as- audience reactions. Bohemian Rhapso- though he sumed from the dy tells the story of the formation of the loves her trailer, and Malek band Queen, and more specifically it tells deeply. We embraces every the story of the life of lead singer Freddie see Freddie aspect of Freddie Mercury. We see Freddie in 1970 as he fall under Mercury, fully im- basically insinuates himself into the band the spell mersing himself – pre-Queen – after the loss of their lead of Paul Prenter, whom into the character, singer. The fans aren’t too happy with the some refer to as Freddie’s Judas (or Mercurial getting deep into replacement, but his magical voice wins Queen’s Yoko), nearly destroying Fred- Freddie presents Mercury’s skin. them over and through perseverance and die’s career and life by selling his secrets key moments in Freddie’s There were as- hard work, the band gets noticed by a re- to the media. We see Freddie receive the life that make for drama pects of Mercury that I felt when watch- cord company exec and the rest is history. news of his HIV-positive status and how but are historically inaccu- ing the movie were completely over-done, The movie also delves into the life of he bravely forged ahead to perform in the rate. The Meyers charac- like his teeth. The prosthetic teeth Malek Mercury, more so than it does with the oth- Live Aid concert, a stunning scene that ter is fictional and there’s no confirmation wore seemed very exaggerated to the er guys in the band, Brian May (Gwilym closes out the movie. that anything like what was depicted in the point that Malek was even having an issue movie ever happened – even though the with them, but watching some old video living members of the band were full par- of Freddie revealed the teeth and Malek’s ticipants in the making of the movie. It’s a mouth and lip movements to be startling fun anecdote, but for a film that’s attempt- in their accuracy. Malek manages to give ing to be biographical, it’s out of place. us all the complexities of Mercury, from The Paul Prenter character is a little prob- his relationship with his family to his re- lematic because he’s seen as being fired lationship with Mary, his time with Queen, by Mercury after he learns that Prenter’s all the ups and downs in which he could basically been keeping him away from his often be an arrogant asshole – as a lot of friends and family, at which point Prenter brilliant people are pigeonholed – and still goes to the media and sells Freddie’s se- making him a sympathetic, flawed human crets of homosexuality and drug abuse to being who shone brightly and burned out the media. In actuality, Prenter was fired much too soon. Malek is the reason to see for going to the media with those secrets. Bohemian Rhapsody. t Probably the most egregious manipulation of Freddie’s life is his HIV diagnosis. Here, the movie attempts to make you believe

24 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com Lively Arts // out on SCREEN Melissa McCarthy Goes for the Gold in ‘Forgive Me?’ cal attention for said cat, Lee finds an old hate and McCarthy is fantastic. This is an letters (and she stops selling to her when by Chuck Duncan letter tucked inside a library book that has awards-worthy performance, so look for an those feelings are expressed), and you feel It takes a lot of guts to make a biographical collectible value because of the author of Oscar showdown between her and Lady the heartbreak Wells projects when a din- movie about someone most people have the letter. She takes and sells the letter for Gaga this year (the two could split Best ner date goes awkwardly awry and the truth never heard of, but it takes a lot of smarts a couple of hundred dollars and discovers Actress at the Golden Globes if the studio about Lee comes out. Also great in her too to cast a big star in the lead to make sure a whole world of collectible letters. Not submits this movie in the drama category). few scenes is Jane Curtain as Lee’s agent, people will be interested in seeing that having access to any other real letters, McCarthy is ably abetted by the won- the one person who has the balls to tell Lee movie. The folks at Fox Lee begins creating her own letters derful Richard E. Grant as Jack, an old what a terrible person she is. Anne Deavere Searchlight have taken It takes a in the voice of the celebrities she is queen who seems to be frivolous on the Smith, Stephen Spinella and – yes – Ben a huge gamble with Can impersonating, buying various type- surface but actually has a very sad exis- Falcone round out the cast of familiar faces. You Ever Forgive Me?, the lot of guts writers to match the era of the star, tence that he always puts a shiny veneer The terrific script by Nicole Holofcener story of author Lee Israel, and learning how to forge their sig- on. Jack finds an irascible kindred spirit and Jeff Whitty does a fine balancing act and are banking on Me- to make a natures. She claims to be selling the in Lee, almost breaking through the wall with Lee, keeping her from becoming a total lissa McCarthy to bring in artifacts for a relative but things be- she’s built around herself, but it is a tough monster, and the film flows smoothly thanks audiences. Was the gam- biopic about gin to go south when the buyers are wall to breach. We really don’t get to know to the direction of Marielle Heller, never feel- ble worth it? becoming aware that the letters are a lot about Jack – he may actually be ing choppy like the other biopic Bohemian Can You Ever Forgive someone no forgeries. Knowing she can’t show homeless but he always has a change of Rhapsody (and hopefully this movie doesn’t Me? takes place during a her face anymore, Lee enlists the clothes – but when he is on screen with fudge the facts like the Queen biopic does). severe downswing in Isra- one’s heard help of her sort-of friend Jack (Rich- Lee, it is pure movie magic. Jack could Can You Ever Forgive Me? may not end up el’s career. The once cel- ard E. Grant) who is successful in also tip over into the horribly self-centered being a blockbuster at the box office, but if ebrated biographer, who of, but a lot continuing the ruse ... to a point. jerk who’s only looking for his next fix or you enjoy well-written stories performed by had written about famous of smarts to Can You Ever Forgive sexual partner, but again it comes down to a group of actors at the top of their games, subjects like Katherine Me? faithfully rec- Hepburn and Dorothy Kil- cast a big reates a New York gallen, has found that, in City of 1991, giv- 1991, readers are really star in the ing you the feel- not interested in learning ing that this is a about popular figures from lead real period piece. the past and there really While the feel of isn’t anything new to learn the movie is im- about them (like Fanny Brice, the subject portant, it lives or dies of Lee’s hoped-for next project). Lee has on its two leads and fallen out of favor not just among readers they are both terrif- but with her own agent, having to compete ic. McCarthy has long against the likes of Tom Clancy, who’s get- been accused of play- ting $3 million book deals while Lee can’t ing the same role over even score a $10,000 advance. And it’s and over again in the not just her subject matter that is a prob- comedies she and her lem – it’s Lee herself, a grouchy uber-cur- husband Ben Falcone mudgeon who thinks her wit is acerbic but write (and he directs), is actually downright mean. Her only real so it was really time for friend is her cat. her to do something Behind on her rent and needing medi- different after her last few movies were not so well received. Odd- ly enough, she’s still playing almost that same type of charac- ter here, but she puts a lot more gravitas into this performance. Lee Israel is not the buf- foon McCarthy often Can You Ever Forgive Me? Grant’s wonderful performance and assuredly di- plays, so she really had to dig faithfully deep and ground the character recreates a New that makes you not hate him, rected by a woman making her feature film and she really succeeds on all York City of 1991, and actually miss him when debut (Heller is currently directing the Tom levels, making you feel sorry for giving you the Jack is not on screen. Hanks Mr. Rogers movie which bodes well her, then appalled by her actions, feeling that this is Dolly Wells is also very good for that project), then you must make it a but somehow still sympathetic in a real period piece as a potential love interest for point to see Can You Ever Forgive Me?. If the end. It’s a tough character to Lee, one of the buyers she’s you don’t, you may not forgive yourself. t nail and not have the audience been scamming with her fake

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 25 // QMusic A HILARIOUS AND HEARTFELT STORYTELLING EVENT. ONE NIGHT ONLY! Putting Soul (& Sheep) in Christmas track, “The Sheep Save Christmas,” is the By Frankie Kujawa title song we wrote. A local artist friend, Mama’s Black Sheep, an Americana mu- who did the album cover, shows Santa’s sic group from Baltimore, will celebrate the sleigh being pulled by black sheep, and release of their new CD, The Sheep Save explains why that was. We ended up writ- Christmas, on November ing this story which morphed 15th at Baldwin’s Station into a bit of a Dr. Seuss-like in Sykesville, Maryland. Mama’s Black tale called the ‘The Sheep Mama’s Black Sheep is Sheep talk Saved Christmas,’ by pulling the soulful collaboration the sleigh. We may release of singer-songwriters about their new that story itself as an illustrated Ashland Miller and Lau- children’s book maybe for next ra Cerulli. Together, this holiday album, Christmas. duo has created a blend How many years have of hit-worthy originals and in which ovines you been with the band? covers with a unique spin As of this month, we mark for the holiday season. save the day our ten-year anniversary, and Baltimore OUTloud re- we’re pretty excited! cently sat down with Cerulli to discuss the What do you credit as your inspira- upcoming CD release and the tenth anni- tion as a performer? versary of the group. For myself, I have Frankie Kujawa: a lot of influences. I What can your fans always credit George expect at the CD re- Michael as teaching lease? me how to sing. I was Laura Cerulli: Well in middle school when SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 17 | 8PM this new CD is pretty his Faith album came much a Christmas CD, out and it was such Comedian Lisa Lampanelli and her guests will have as well as some new a big deal. I always audience members howling as they hear stories about songs. For this release loved his voice, and I trying to maintain sanity when it comes to “losin’ it.” party performance, sang it over and over we’re going to do a mix when I wore the cas- Lampanelli, who recently lost more than 100 pounds, shines of some of our favorites. sette out. I always an intimate but hilarious light on the universal problem of A fabulous thing about credit him with my body-image and weight struggles in this 90-minute show. Baldwin’s Station, oth- vocal stylings. But, er than being historic, then, George Mi- FEATURING GUEST STORYTELLERS: is they have an amazing chef and chael would credit Aretha Franklin as his locally-sourced menu. We really want to let musical influence. Two of my favorite idols people know when they are booking tick- are gone now, vocally speaking, but I have ets that it’s a dinner place. The evening is a lot of blues and roots and soul influences all about food and music together. in my singing. t Tell us some more about your new For more info on the upcoming CD re- CD “The Sheep Save Christmas.” lease, visit Mamasblacksheep.com. It’s a nice mixture of original songs and Maria Lauren Ann Frank Eden covers with a unique spin. We like to Broom Brickman DeCaro Malyn put our own spin on songs that we’re covering from other artists. We have some folk songs and Christmas songs TICKETS $35–50 that are public domain. Some people will be very familiar with these tunes. SHOW PLUS POST-SHOW MEET & GREET $100 There are also some fun arrangements and collaborations from other musi- cians. It’s a lot of fun for listeners! AT BALTIMORE CENTER STAGE Do you have a favorite song on 700 N CALVERT ST CENTERSTAGE.ORG 410.332.0033 the CD? (laughing) It’s hard to pick a favor- ite, like picking a favorite child. The title

26 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com Lively Arts // screen savor Lively Arts // Between the covers Better Together: Poulenc A Health Resort from Hell By Brynn Devereaux about the plot without giv- Concerto for Two Pianos Health resorts sound deli- ing anything away, but cious. Days of pampering, Moriarty does a fantastic exercise, rest, and medi- job of weaving each char- By Brynn Devereaux will be a real treat,” they say. tation would bring a “Hell acter’s emotional past The best things come in pairs on Novem- “I’m really looking forward to discover- yes, sign me up today!” into this trip. She doesn’t ber 9th to 11th with the Baltimore Sympho- ing the two Mendelssohn symphonies with out of anyone. The cast of shy from discussing tragic ny Orchestra. Lead by conductor Kwamé the BSO, which remains one of my favorite characters in Nine Perfect and tough subjects or the Ryan, the BSO will perform two Mendels- orchestras world- Strangers certainly thought emotions that accompany sohn symphonies and have the plea- wide,” says a ten-day trip to a health re- them. The book touches sure of performing with Christina Ryan. on relationships and how and Michelle Naughton, twins sort would help make them people perceive each oth- and duo-pianists, on Pou- healthier and happier while er as well as themselves. lenc’s Concerto for Two they transformed into their Each chapter is told from Pianos. best selves. However, in a different character’s “Given the fact that true Liane Moriarty fashion, perspective and hopping we are doing not one the solution isn’t always that from mindset to mindset but two Mendelssohn easy. creates a unique thrill that symphonies, this con- Moriarty, author of Big keeps readers wanting to cert is obviously going Little Lies and The Hus- know more. to be a treat for fans of band’s Secret, explores the The characters are the best part of the his music,” says conduc- obsession with “fixing” oneself in her new novel. Moriarty’s characters are hilarious, tor Ryan. “I would imagine book, Nine Perfect Strangers. Nine peo- ple – a romance author, a family of three, likable, and (sometimes unfortunately) re- that even those familiar with “When a former professional athlete, latable. As their personal his Symphony No. 5 (“Reforma- one ap- a young married couple, a tragedies unfold, it’s hard tion”) will likely never have heard his proaches new divorced mom of four, and a Nine Perfect not to fall in love with them String Symphony No. 7 live before. It may Christina and Michelle works as a con- family lawyer – decide to book and want to see their story be a kind of spoiler to say it (because it Naughton – First sisters ductor, it’s always Strangers – a a trip to Tranquillum House to through. It is fascinating to isn’t obvious to the casual listener), but of duo piano play Poulenc great to do so solve their problems. Each watch how they evolve and Mendelssohn was just 13 years old when with the BSO with an orchestra novel about person has a troubled past handle the internal trauma he finished it. It’s an astonishingly mature one knows and is and feels his or her life spi- as well as the external cha- achievement even for such a prodigious at ease with. I’m equally looking forward to health-seekers at raling out of control. They put os. talent, and it represents an important rite working with the Naughton sisters for the their faith in Masha, the own- Nine Perfect Strangers of passage in his development of the skills first time to perform the first piano concerto a sanitorium er of the resort, and her team is a story that is haunt- needed to write the better-known later I ever accompanied as a young conductor.” to transform them, and she ing, hilarious, romantic, symphonies.” In addition to performing with the BSO, rises to the occasion. Her goal is to heal and creepy. This is a book Between Mendelssohn’s symphonies, Christina and Michelle Naughton are work- them at any cost. best devoured in one sitting with your fa- Christina and Michelle Naughton will join ing on future projects. “There is so much The ten-day stay soon turns into the vorite wine, cocktail, or addicting snack. the BSO to perform Poulenc’s Concerto for great repertoire for both four hands and health resort trip from hell. Fans of Mori- You won’t want to put it down, and it will Two Pianos. “The Poulenc concerto nev- two pianos, but most of it is rarely played. arty are familiar with the plot twists and make you think twice about those luxurious er ceases to fascinate us by its ingenious We are hoping to change this,” they say. suspense that keep readers guessing health resorts. There are times where the juxtaposition of witty and playful humor “In addition, we love to play contemporary throughout her books, and Nine Perfect plot seems a little outrageous, but remem- with elegant sophistication in the form of music, especially music that is freshly writ- Strangers is no exception. It’s hard to talk ber, it’s 2018, and anything is possible. t influences ranging from Mozart to Prokof- ten. Our upcoming album is a collection iev to Indonesian gamelan music,” say the of relatively new American works, two of Naughtons. which are world premiere recordings by The piece illustrates a musical game the composer John Adams.” between two friends and seems to be a Poulenc’s Concerto for Two Pianos piece fitting for the sisters. “We loved mu- will perform at the Joseph Meyerhoff Sym- sic / playing piano and wanted it in our phony Hall on Friday, November 9th at 8 lives forever since the minute we touched pm, and Sunday November 11th at 3 pm. the instrument,” say the duo. “We never Another performance takes place at the ‘pursued a career together’ per se, but Music Center at Strathmore on Sunday, rather have never looked back since the November 11th at 8 pm. For ticket info and Add you business to our distribution locAtions! first time we played together.” more, visit BSOMusic.org. t Both the Naughton sisters and Ryan are excited to join the BSO for this special Call Baltimore OUTloud performance. “We’ve heard and have been inspired by performances of the BSO our for more details: entire lives, but to be only feet away and 410-802-1310 collaborate is very exciting for us. To play facebook.com/BaltimoreOUTloud with such a fabulous group of musicians BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 27 out in the valley

Parenting OUTloud Rev. Kelly Crenshaw

Exhaustion! chose to go on the warpath. hospital meetings. Our son had a bad day, On Thursday, after a long of day at screaming, biting his arms, and scratching work, I drove six hours to prepare for a his face. He banged his head against the Exhaustion! Let’s face it, Moms and Dads, visit with our adult son who lives in a psy- wall, leaving holes in the drywall. And, that we all get there once in a while, right? We chiatric hospital. I was both mentally and all occurred within the few minutes it took try so hard to get it all done – work, family, physically tired. To be honest, I didn’t have to prepare his sedative. By the time I saw volunteer activities – that we sometimes the strength to do it all. Add in the com- him that afternoon, he was calm and coop- commit more hours that we can reason- plications that come with my health issues erative. The sedative was wearing off and After all, when you’re feeling good and ably do. In addition, if you add in any sort and I could barely walk across the room. he felt good. In the meantime, I talked to ready to go, you’ll be the best version of t of chronic health issue, that makes it even I have a genetic mutation that causes re- the behavioral psychologist, the nursing you. more complicated. actions to many types of food as well as staff, the social worker, and all the other Rev. Kelly Crenshaw is the mom of 16 The last two weeks have been tough rheumatoid arthritis. I had no energy. I was treatment staff that wanted my attention. adopted kids, two biological kids, guardian for me. My work responsibilities suddenly in pain. I had to act as if I was completely I returned to my hotel room too ex- of one baby girl and foster mom of dozens. increased. The family has been particular- on top of the ball and ready to go. And, hausted to function. I rested for a short Some are lesbian, some gay, some straight, ly needy. And, to top it all off, one of my I had to cross my fingers and hope that I time and then pulled myself to- grown daughters decided to attack me with didn’t have any food reactions while I was gether enough to go to dinner. I gossip and didn’t believe me when I told there. should have come back to the ho- her the truth of the situation. Instead, she I spent most of Friday dealing with the tel room to work that night. I had lots to do. But I couldn’t make my brain focus on work. I went to bed instead. I woke up the next morn- ing prepared to do some work, but I couldn’t. So, I went to the mov- ies. I went shopping. I had a nice lunch out. It was a great day. It certainly didn’t do every- thing I needed to get one hundred percent of my energy back, but it was a good start. The next day, I drove the six hours home knowing that I was more relaxed and better able to handle the day. It worked for me. When I was a teenager, I used to clean my room to de- stress. (Yes, I’m being serious.) I would dump out my drawers, fold clothes, and organize the contents. It made me feel more in control of my world to be or- ganized. It helped me deal with a stressful life where I felt like an outsider much of the time. Today, my physical limitations dictate a less physical response and some bisexual. Kel- But I’ve got to stress. I read, watch movies, or do craft energy to projects. What works for you? Do you need ly founded a K-12 day spare! a day at the spa or a hike in the forest? school where kids could Maybe a date night with your partner or have a safe, bully-free environment for some time at the beach is in order. learning. She is co-owner of a counselling I encourage you to find those things agency that works with children and their that help you relax and refuel your tanks. families. 28 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com out in the valley

the present, and the other is firmly rooted Hagerstown Hopes: in the past of 20 years ago. The reason is policy. Socially and politically, those comprising the T in the Supports the Trans Brian’s LGBTQ community are still experiencing by Brian George Hose many of the same problems our general This is an exciting time for us at Hager- Brain community faced 20 years ago. Politicians stown Hopes. Our organization was found- Community Brian George Hose and various leaders, including school ad- ed to serve the LGBTQ community and this ministrators, have been working on the is a responsibility we take very seriously. each year. We are concerned that the cur- “which bathroom can be used?” question For months we’ve been working on devel- rent social and political climate encourag- The T in Our for years and, while they argue, the Trump oping programs and activities to meet the es further violence against our community, administration has been making concert- needs of our community not only in Hager- and we want to do our part to provide a Community ed efforts to limit and even revoke the civil stown, but the surrounding areas as well. safe place for the community to socialize, rights of trans, non-binary, intersex, and Our goal is to create quality programs that network, and discuss issues that are im- Do you remember what the world was like gender expansive people. They believe benefit the community, and we’re taking portant to them. 20 years ago? I do. Back then, we were civil rights and protections were given to every precaution and attending to every The Hagerstown Hopes Trans Group not equal citizens. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” people who don’t “deserve” them. detail to ensure that things run smoothly is our effort to provide a safe place to the was still in place, and we were still years If you’re not outraged, you’re not pay- and with minimal hiccups. community. The safety of all our members from achieving Marriage Equality. We were ing attention. These actions affect every- Now that I have your interest, I would is the highest priority; as such, it is a closed not protected by policy and the murder of one in the LGBTQ community, but the trans like to formally invite you to attend our next group open only to the trans, non-bina- Matthew Shepard lingered in the back of community is being hit hardest. There has open board meeting! Open meetings are a ry, and gender-expansive community. our minds, giving validation to our worst been a steady increase in the number of chance to meet us and learn what we’re All members of the trans community are fears – that what happened to Matthew trans people, particularly working on. It’s also a chance for you to welcome and we ask anyone interested in could happen trans women of color, dy- participate and tell us what’s important to attending to reach out for more informa- to us. ing from fatal violence in you. Please join us on Tuesday, November tion. This is to ensure the safety, privacy, I was a recent years: 22 in 2015, 13th in the Antietam Room of the Ramada and comfort of all attending. There have teenager, des- 23 in 2016, at least 29 Plaza (718 Underpass Way, Hagerstown). already been two meetings, which I’m told perately want- in 2017 (possibly more), The meeting will begin at 6:30 pm and con- ing to come and at least 22 in 2018. clude at 7:30. We look for- out and find my The increase in violence ward to seeing you there! tribe, but afraid is a reflection of policy The following week to do so. During and politics – as efforts Hagerstown Hopes will those times it to limit and revoke the be participating in the wasn’t uncom- rights of our trans com- Transgender Day of Re- mon for us to munity increase, so membrance Candlelight be disowned by does the violence they Vigil. Transgender Day our families, to experience. Our com- of Remembrance (TDoR) be harassed, to munity is in danger. is an annual event occur- be discriminat- Overall, our commu- ring on November 20th of ed against, and nity is in a much better each year. TDoR is a day to always be place now than we were to remember those we’ve cautious of how 20 years ago. However, lost to violence as a result o f were fun, informative, and well attended. much we shared of ourselves, lest we out the trans community, with fewer numbers transphobia (the hatred or fear of trans- If you’re interested, you can apply to join ourselves to an unsympathetic person and and less social and political power, are still gender, non-binary, and gender expan- the “Hagerstown Hopes Trans Group” on face the consequences. I knew I needed to in crisis. Now is the time to band together, sive people). During the memorial, names Facebook or email Paisley Grahl (pais- be true to myself and my loved ones, but I to unite and fight for the rights and safe- of those we’ve lost to violence in the last [email protected]), our coor- also knew that once I came out I would be ty of the most vulnerable members of our year will be read aloud. This is part of a dinator, to learn the date, time, and loca- making myself vulnerable to a sometimes community who helped us move forward national, ongoing effort to call attention to tion of the next meeting. hostile, violent world. I was afraid I would while inadequate policies and resources the continued violence affecting the trans- With the holidays approaching, we ask be the next Matthew. held them back. We are a community, and gender community, to show our support to that you mark your calendars (and shop- Now, 20 years later, our community communities work together to help and the transgender community, and to provide ping lists) for our next Night Out, Decem- has achieved incredible social and politi- protect its members. comfort to those in need. The memorial will ber 13th at Hempen Hill BBQ. This event cal progress. When Marriage Equality was If you remember what life was like be held at 6 pm on November 20th on the will benefit Children in Need (Childrenin- recognized at the federal level, I realized twenty years ago, I hope you also empa- square in downtown Hagerstown (5 Public needwashingtoncounty.org) and double as that, for the first time, I was a fully equal thize with our trans community, who are in Square). a drive to collect clothing, toys, books, and citizen. It was an amazing feeling, like the many ways still living in the reality of the In light of recent politically-motivated other items to benefit children in Washing- weight of the world had been lifted from my past. I also hope you’ll remember how our events, Hagerstown Hopes would like to ton County. shoulders. struggles made us stronger, more resilient, voice our continued support of the trans- As always, please like and follow Hag- But I only felt that way because I am a and appreciate the strength of the T in our gender, non-binary, intersex, and gender erstown Hopes on Facebook, or visit us cisgender gay man, meaning that my gen- community. More importantly, we all have expansive community. One in four trans at Hagerstownhopesmd.org to stay in the der identity and my biological sex align. the power to be the person we needed 20 people report having been assaulted for loop, get involved, and be part of your For those in our trans, non-binary, inter- years ago. Be that person for someone to- being transgender, and violence against community. We hope to see you soon! t sex, and gender expansive community, day. t the trans community has been increasing there may be a feeling that one foot is in

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 29 out in the valley

than to keep from having a panic attack if Washington County Services I am carded. I’m 31 and my life has been solely mine for LGBT Youth: for over a decade. I’m thrilled adolescence What is long gone because I vividly remember Asher’s that feeling of being trapped in a body I We’re Committed To World could not relate to. Being teased relent- Asher Kennedy lessly, for my short hair and boyish man- The Washington County Department of Social Your social worker must not disclose nerisms. Not wanting to be called by my Services (WCDSS) is committed to ensuring your sexual orientation and/or gender identity given name and insisting on a non-feminiz- the safety and well-being of LGBTQ youth (SOGI) unless you give your worker permis- ing nickname. The pain felt at the realiza- placed out of their home environment and into sion. With your permission, your worker may Liberty tion that many of the boys I felt attracted to the child welfare system. WCDSS staff must use information about your SOGI in decision as a child was instead jealousy that I could provide affirming care to LGBTQ youth and making related to placement, service provi- or Death not be them still lingers in my veins. families. sion, treatment plans, etc. If loving the same sex is unforgivable in More youth are openly identifying as Your social worker must check in with you The best way to describe the feeling of a family, what happens when you change LGBTQ, and they are identifying at earlier at appropriate intervals to review placement being a transgender American is constant your entire identity? How do you think it ages. Studies indicate that LGBTQ youth and ensure that it is LGBTQ affirming, and nausea-inducing dread. The nausea has feels to need to go to the emergency room, are disproportionately represented within must report any mistreatment, including verbal been as constant to me in the past two just to have a doctor leer at you as though foster care, especially LGBTQ youth of col- harassment and bullying. years as is finding myself having to be ex- you’re a monster that has roared in from the or. LGBTQ youth in care report experiencing If you identify as transgender and/or gen- cused from conversations, needing streets? Or having significant discrimination related to their sex- der non-conforming, your placement decision a moment to compose myself, while The feeling UTIs become a ual orientation, gender identity, and/or gender must not be based on your assigned sex at people who continue to live in the common occur- presentation. Research on LGBTQ youth in birth or by your external anatomy. It will be safety of their heteronormative-ness of being rence because care reveals several troubling themes includ- based upon what place would best ensure discuss our political situation as cranberry juice is ing: high risk of familial rejection, bullying and your health, safety, and well being. You must though we are in a classroom, and transgender in easier to drink in housing instability. present your own view with respect to your not watching millions of our fellow massive amount If you’re a youth receiving our services, ideal placement and these views will be given citizens lose every freedom and pro- America than to fear being you have the right to safe and affirming place- serious consideration. tection that keeps us from becoming murdered in a pub- ments that actively promote your well-being, Every effort will be made to secure a another statistic, from becoming another lic bathroom? Or dating, or thinking about respect your identity, and are sensitive to your placement with individual sleeping quarters memorial or candlelight vigil. dating, when it can be considered legal to individual needs. WCDSS will ensure an af- (one- person bedrooms) to allow for privacy. Being transgender has never been kill someone for being trans in 47 of the 50 firming placement that is properly maintaining You must be allowed to shower and use bath- easy. We face the religious implication states? (See Lgbtbar.org/what-we-do/pro- your safety and protection. rooms privately. Social workers may utilize that we have all been divinely created by grams/gay-and-trans-panic-defense.) I’m What are my social workers’ responsi- WCDSS LGBTQ Ally Corp when determining an all-knowing God and going against that currently in a career change and I face the bilities? Social workers must evaluate your placements for gender non conforming and would be an insult paramount to blasphe- nausea of going to an interview wondering overall emotional and physical safety in your transgender youth. my. We face the claim that my trans sisters when the best time to drop the “ID does placement related to your sexual orientation, My rights to my preferred name, how are lurking in bathrooms waiting to terror- not match resume” bomb, hoping I’m not gender identity, and gender presentation. i groom and clothe myself – It is your right ize children. We face the labyrinth we must blacklisting myself from all jobs in my field. Social workers must not disclose your to express the gender identity, and/or gender traverse just to have legal recognition, to The worries and fears that trans people sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender presentation that is consistent with your iden- have your license match how you appear, wade through daily is exhausting. We are expression to other individuals or agencies, tity. Failure to respect your preferred name and without your deadname staring back exhausted, both from self-preservation and without your permission. and pronoun, personal grooming or clothing is at you. A lot of my life is choosing to avoid having to be our own constant advocates. They must connect you and your family against agency policy and will not be tolerated. huge chunks of restaurants, clubs, stores, We must be the loudest voice in this con- with local LGBTQ resources. You must be called by your preferred and events because it is easier to miss out versation if we want to still have the free- When requested by you or your caregiver, name and pronouns, and be permitted to se- dom to weather each wave we encounter social workers must meet with school officials lect and wear clothing that is consistent with on our path to our American Dream. This to discuss actions required to ensure your your gender expression. As long as you are is not an exhaustion that can be remedied safety at school. dressed appropriately, you can wear the cloth- identity or sexual orientation. by sleep. No, this is an exhaustion that Workers are encouraged to consult with ing, accessories, and/or hairstyle that suit your Staff cannot label you as LGBTQ unless can only be relieved by tangible, perma- their supervisors when they are unsure about gender identity to include: removal of facial or you explicitly acknowledge your status. nent safety and security for all of us. We no steps to take to ensure your well-being and body hair, make-up, jewelry, hairstyle modifi- When you disclose your sexual orienta- longer need your understanding. We know safety. cations etc. tion, gender identity, or gender expression, all exactly who each of us are. We need your What I should know about my placement Your right to confidentiality & disclo- WCDSS staff know it is considered sensitive help with our anxiety, panic, and dread. If rights? sure – Disclosing your identity can be a poten- and confidential information. we are children of the same rainbow, then You have a right to be placed in housing tially traumatic experience, and may place you Staff will not disclose your sexual orien- the umbrella needs to cover all of us. Pat- situations where your identity is respected. at risk for greater harm and/or abuse. These tation, gender identity, or gender expression rick Henry’s famous cry demanding liber- You must be actively involved in the place- guidelines review steps your worker must take to other individuals or agencies without your ty or death rings constantly in the ears of ment process. You can request that a WCDSS to ensure that you are engaged throughout permission. transgender Americans. The fear of liber- LGBTQ Ally Corp member advocate for your the disclosure process as necessary, and that If you would like further information or ty’s alternative is the dread transgender placement needs. your confidentiality is protected. need someone safe to talk to please call your Americans have become uncomfortably t You and WCDSS must agree that place- WCDSS staff are prohibited from attempt- Independent Living Coordinator Brianne Jami- familiar with. ment safe and supportive. Social workers ing to convince or coerce you to disclose or son at 240-420-2165 or you can email her at must first attempt relative placement, then reveal your identity, or to change your gender [email protected]. t may attempt non-relative placement. 30 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com quality of life

action was detection and seizure of drugs,” The CBP encounters are not limited to es at CBP, including the establishment of which he ruled unconstitutional. ordinary citizens and, now, members of Con- an independent ombudsman to investigate The ACLU has filed a lawsuit against gress are finally waking up to the realization complaints, an oversight committee, and CBP based on the fact that strip searches in that there does need to be a limit to CBP subcommittees made up mostly of residents The Law hospitals have been conducted against US power. In 2013, Senator Leahy introduced from the northern and southern borders to citizens without going to a judge for a war- a bill after his own encounter with CBP in weigh in on how the agency is conducting & You rant and without the consent of the person 2009, where he was ordered out of his car itself in their communities. The legislation Linda A. Dominguez being searched and held against their will. and proof of citizenship was demanded. would also require the US Government Ac- The common practice of CBP agents asked When Senator Leahy asked for the basis of countability Office to issue a report on CBP’s to produce the basis for their authority to the stop, the CBP agent pointed to his weap- interior enforcement practices – including at America’s stop someone and con- on. Senator its checkpoints – and their practices’ impact duct a search is pointing Leahy’s bill on civil, constitutional, and private-property Nightmare to their holstered weap- was not rights. on and saying, “This is passed but In 2015, the Homeland Security Advisory my authority!” In one it would lim- Council, a panel of law enforcement experts Border Cops case in Texas, a US cit- it northern formed by DHS, warned that CBP had no ef- izen mother driving to checkpoints fective process to root out corruption and that When the Department of Homeland Security bring items to her family to within its internal affairs office was woefully under- (“DHS”) was created after the terrorist at- from a shopping trip was 25 miles staffed. “The true levels of corruption within tack on September 11th, 2001, two agencies stopped at a checkpoint for vehicles CBP are not known,” the council warned in were merged to create Customs and Border away from the border. and ten a report. “Pockets of corruption could fester Protection (“CBP”). At the present time, CBP Because a “drug dog” miles for within CBP, potentially for years.” The cur- employs 23,000 Customs agents and 20,000 alerted when passing her houses to rent administration’s only response to any Border Protection agents. The commonly legs, she was searched by the male be searched without a warrant. Congress- problems with CBP has been to request au- held belief is that purpose of CBP agent. When he man Beto O’Rourke was stopped in Texas thorization to hire more agents. Given recent these agents is to catch terror- found nothing, a female with his two-year old son in 2009. They were arrests of CBP agents for serial murder and ists at the borders of the US, Checkpoints CBP agent put on latex both placed in a cell for 30 minutes while rape, a sane person has questions about the including seaports and border gloves and ordered her CBP agents tore apart his truck searching for type of person being recruited and trained to ports of entry, as well as any worthy of the to strip out of her clothes illegal drugs. Congressman O’Rourke has be CBP agents. t materials that are considered for a body cavity search. introduced legislation that demands chang- harmful to the US. However, the Berlin Wall have When that search found truth is not so clear cut. nothing, the detained CBP has the authority to cropped up all woman was handcuffed, stop and question anyone at an placed in a CBP car, and authorized checkpoint, which over the US. taken to a local hospital. includes citizens of the US that At the hospital, she was an agent suspects of having ille- What can you chained to a gurney and gal drugs or being not a citizen. forced to take a laxative Where does that authority end? do if harassed? so that the CBP agents At the present time, according to the law, could ensure that she had not swallowed any it ends 100 miles from a border. Given the illegal drugs. When that resulted in nothing amount of coastline that the US has, the au- other than humiliation, the CBP agents tried thority has no real endpoint. In fact, some lo- to get the detained woman to sign consent cal law enforcement officers ask CBP agents forms to avoid hospital bills. The detained to come with them on calls that involve peo- woman refused to sign anything and was ple who speak a foreign language. CBP’s driven back to her car, where she was re- own data suggests that its interior check- leased. She currently has a lawsuit for med- points do little to catch what it calls “unau- ical bills (which totaled more than $5,000), thorized entrants” and instead ensnare US as well as harassment and false arrest filed citizens on minor drug charges. (Forty per- against the CBP and the hospital. The ACLU cent of its seizures were one ounce or less is attempting to confirm the number of false of marijuana taken from citizens.) From 2013 arrests and illegal searches conducted by to 2016, interior checkpoints accounted for CBP in the last five years. only 2% of CBP apprehensions of undocu- The State of Washington is under fire mented immigrants. In May 2018, a state cir- because a young man was killed by CBP cuit court judge in New Hampshire threw out agents when his parents asked the local law charges against 16 people who were arrest- enforcement to assist them when their son, ed for possessing small quantities of drugs who was having a psychiatric episode and at a checkpoint manned by local police and refusing to take medication. Local authorities Border Patrol agents, about 90 miles south called in the CBP to use them as interpreters of the Canadian border. “While the stated but, mistaking a flashlight for a weapon, the purpose of the checkpoints in this matter agents shot him 13 times. Since 2010, CBP was screening for immigration violations,” has been involved in 77 deaths; at least one- the judge wrote, “the primary purpose of the fifth of those deaths involved US citizens. BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 31 TheThe quality of life

is, your guests – what you believe and what Getting the you expect of each other, and of them. The Exchange of Vows are the promises DrinkerDrinkeryy Wedding that you make to each other. In their most el- emental form, you are promising to be there TheThe LittleLittle CoCorrnerner BarBar withwith aa GreatGreat BigBig HeHeartart!! You Want for each other at all times, no matter what David Egan happens. 205205 WestWest ReadRead StreetStreet “Corner“Corner ofof ReadRead andand Park”Park” The Exchange of Rings introduces sym- bolism into the ceremony. The ring itself, 410-225-3100 • ATM Available as an unbroken form, symbolizes unbroken 410-225-3100 • ATM Available Creating a love. The wearing of the ring is a symbol to others that you are married. Great Wedding The Kiss is rich with symbolism, evok- ing physical love, as well as honor, respect, Ceremony and perhaps even a contractual act, as in “sealed with a kiss.” I’ve attended a lot of wedding ceremonies The Pronouncement of Marriage are at Chase Court, the wedding venue I own words spoken by the officiant that legally and in Baltimore. Hundreds of them. Some have spiritually declare you to be married. The been magnificent. Many have been unre- specific language varies, but they serve to markable. And some have been deeply, mark your marriage ceremony as complete tears-in-my-eyes, moving. and legally valid. What makes the difference between There are other elements that are com- forgettable and memorable? That’s easy to monly added to the wedding ceremony, in- answer. It’s really very simple. Thorough, cluding various introductions, prayers, and thoughtful planning, and superb execution. blessings. There are many sacred and sec- Your wedding ceremony coalesces all ular rituals that you can add, including jump- that you believe about marriage as a state of ing the broom, handfasting, a sand ceremo- being. It is a public celebration, in words and ny, celebration of the Christian Open 7 p.m. Thanksgiving Night actions, of your intentions for eucharist, and more. The idea is your marriage. It is a sacred to create something special and ceremony, with sacred in this memorable that speaks to who case meaning highly valued, you are as a couple and of your important, and entitled to intentions for your marriage. reverence and respect. It is a Whether you’re creating spiritual, emotional, and phys- your wedding ceremony on ical experience for you and your own or with professional your beloved. assistance (which I strong- There is a lot to know about ly recommend!), the internet planning a great wedding cere- is full of ideas and language mony. I’m going to give you the that you can use. Either way, basic, time-tested framework. there is a lot to do, and many Every other element that you decisions to be made. Give yourself lots might add to the ceremony relates to one or of time to do the research. See what reso- more of these five. nates with you. Follow your heart. The five core elements in this structure, Once you understand the purpose of in order of their appearance in the ceremo- each element, you can, if you like, write from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. ny, are the Declaration of Intent, the Read- scratch. I’ve heard some of the most beauti- ings, the Exchange of Vows, the Exchange ful and meaningful vows spoken by couples of Rings, the Kiss, and the Pronouncement of who took the time to listen to their hearts and BEST PRICES IN TOWN Marriage. These five elements are what make to the needs and desires of their partner. it a wedding. Here’s what they all mean: What matters is that your wedding cere- The Declaration of Intent is a statement mony has meaning for you, and honors and indicating your consent to enter into a mar- supports your new marriage. Do that well, riage with your beloved. The officiant speaks and everyone present – including your be- LookLook aheadahead forfor thethe the words to each of you separately, and loved – will carry it in their hearts forever. each of you respond in turn with, “I do.” Next time: Dealing with Unwanted Wed- The Readings are words taken from ding Advice. t. back bar to reopen whatever sources you like that describe David L. Egan is the proprietor and stew- back bar to reopen what you believe about marriage. Readings ard of Chase Court, a wedding and event help set the tone for your marriage. They tell venue in downtown Baltimore. Visit Cha- the people who will be supporting and nur- secourt.com, and follow ChaseCourtWed- byby thethe NewNew YearYear turing you throughout your marriage – that dingVenue on Instagram and Facebook.

32 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com DINING OUT

Fabulous Brunch Every Saturday & Sunday 11:30 am - 3:00 pm Happy Hour Monday – Friday 4 pm – 7pm with $15 Bottomless Shucking Sundays Mimosas, Bloody Mary’s, A Dozen Oysters and 2 brews or wine for $20 Sangria and EVO Craft Drafts • Serving Brunch on Sundays! Meatless Mondays $15 for a Veggie Burger and Bu alo Brussel Sprouts • Now open for lunch at 12 p.m. on Saturdays Burger & A Beer Tuesday $12 for A Purist Burger and • Penguin Pils now available an EVO Craft Draft in 16oz cans! Wine Wednesdays Introducing Lumen 1/2 O Select Bottles of WIne Our new beer brewed speci cally for Light City! Mussel Mania Thursdays All You can Eat Mussel $25 per person Late Night Happy Hour on SERVES BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, Tuesday, Wednesday, COFFEE AND DRINKS! and Thursday Evenings! Hours 1604 Kelly Avenue. Tues. -Fri. 11:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. Baltimore, MD 21209 Get house draft beer for $3.75 Sat. 10 a.m. –to 9 p.m. Sun. 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. 443-869-6240 from 11 p.m. to close nickeltaphouse.com 10 Art Museum Drive 1106 North Charles Street Baltimore, MD 21218 Baltimore, MD 21201 410-889-3399 410-547-6925 • thebrewersart.com gertrudesbaltimore.com Sparkling Swine Sundays $20 Sparkling Wine & Charcuterie Flight MagnificentMagnificent Mondays Happy Hour at the Bar All Night Taster Tuesdays

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BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 33 Quality of life // your money

Long-Term Care Options What are your options? Depending icaid will not exempt any of your income on the level of your assets and income, (including your pension) or investments to By Woody Derricks this care a growing concern. According to you may elect to self insure, spend down provide for your partner. Additionally, if you Whether you are single or in a committed a study by the US Department of Health your assets and rely on Medicaid, or pur- own your home jointly, Medicaid may re- relationship, it is hard enough to take care and Human Services, nearly 70% of those chase long-term care insurance. For those quire that sell your home. This could force of the challenges of day-to-day living with- aged 65 and over will need some form of who have a higher net worth, you may be your partner out on the street with mini- out having to worry about planning for the long-term care during their lives (Longter- planning on using those assets for your mal assets. As you can see, if you are not future. Despite your hectic life, you may mcare.govhe-basics). A 2018 study from long-term care needs. If you are single and married and need to rely on Medicaid, you have already taken the time necessary to Genworth estimates that a private room not planning on leaving an inheritance, you must take steps to protect your assets for plan for retirement and for your life insur- in a nursing care facility costs an aver- may also decide to spend down your as- your partner. ance needs. However, not enough people age of over $100,000 per year (Genworth. sets to provide for your care. Using your If you want to protect your assets, your have taken the time to evaluate the need com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care. own assets and income for long-term care income, and your right to choose your op- for long-term care. html). You can see the potential for your provides you with the greatest flexibility on tions for care, you may want to look into What is long-term care? Long-term retirement assets to suffer greatly if you re- when to begin care, what type of care you long-term care insurance. When purchas- care is the service provided by someone quired nursing care. Worse yet, the costs receive, who provides the care, and where ing insurance, you often have the ability to helping you manage your day-to-day rou- could escalate should you require in home the care is administered. The downside to choose your elimination period (length of tine. Typically, this would occur if you could or assisting living care prior to or after your self insuring is that you may wind up us- time before benefits begin), length of cov- not perform several activities of daily living stay in nursing care. ing most or all of your assets to provide for erage, benefit amount, inflation protection, (commonly referred to as ADLs) on your When it comes to costs, many gay and your care. and level of home care (other benefit op- own. These ADLs could include eating, lesbian individuals and couples are at a dis- Often people with more limited assets tions may also be available). By adjusting dressing, bathing, toileting, or ambulating. advantage regarding long-term care. Histor- and income may rely on Medicaid to cov- the options, you may create a policy that Cognitive impairments such as Alzhei- ically, children provide the first line of care er their long-term care expenses. Medic- helps to meet your protection needs while mer’s or Parkinson’s could also warrant when a parent requires assistance around aid will require that you spend down your fitting into your budget. long-term care. Those receiving this care the home or with the cost of a nursing home. assets and leave you with minimal income Since I have been in the industry, I’ve could reside at home, an assisted living, or Estimates by Medicate state that 70% of the should you require their benefits. Medicaid noticed a distinct trend with regard to long- a nursing care facility. care offered to the elderly community comes does allow a spouse to maintain some in- term care insurance: the benefits seem to What are the costs? Several factors from family. Because many gay and lesbian come and assets while his/her spouse is be decreasing while the cost of coverage affecting the population today make long- couples do not have children, they must plan receiving Medicaid payments. increases. In some cases, insurance com- term care and the costs associated with on paying for their care. If you are an unmarried couple, Med- panies have been increasing premiums for

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34 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com Quality of life // your money

people who already have policies in place; If you have a higher net worth and and I don’t believe that this trend will stop want to protect some of your assets yet anytime soon. As a result, you’ll need to don’t like the idea of annual premiums that consider what’s best and most affordable could increase, you can look to a life insur- for you now as well as to prepare yourself ance policy that contains a long-term care for the likelihood of a future rate increase. benefit. Often these policies allow a sin- I typically view long-term care insur- gle, upfront premium to cover the cost of ance as a need for couples and individu- the insurance. In exchange, the insurance company will provide a benefit payable at “Depending on the your death (usually higher than your initial premium payment), long-term care cover- level of your assets and age, and/or the ability to withdraw some or income, you may elect all of your initial premium and cancel the policy. to self insure, spend When we look at long-term care for clients, we help clients understand their down your assets and choices and help them make a decision rely on Medicaid, or that fits their current budget, health con- cerns, and future goals. purchase long-term Long-term care insurance policies con- tain exclusions, limitations, reductions of care insurance.” benefits, and terms for keeping them in als who can afford to insure their ability to force. Your financial professional can pro- maintain choice later in life. Couples need vide you with costs and complete details. to protect income and assets for each oth- All policy guarantees are based upon the t er should one of them need some sort of claims paying ability of the issuer. care for an extended period of time. In- This column is for informational purpos- dividuals more often don’t need coverage es only, and is not meant as specific ad- unless they’re looking to preserve their vice to any individual. Partnership Wealth choice-of-care options. Management offers financial planning and If you’re single, you’re likely more fo- wealth management services, with a long cused on preserving choice. Evaluate history of working with the LGBT commu- your pension and Social Security income nity. Reach them at Partnershipwm.com or THE BEST REAL ESTATE DEALS as well as potential income from your in- call 410-732-2633. vestments to determine how much long- IN A LGBTQ NEWSPAPER term care insurance you may need. Keep in mind that if you require care, you won’t have many of your current daily expenses and could sell your home in order to help meet assisted-living or nursing-care costs. facebook.com/BaltimoreOUTloud FOR MORE DETAILS... MARYMARY TAYLORTAYLOR 410-802-1310410-802-1310 [email protected]@baltimoreoutloud.com

240-420-2180

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 35 leather

derstanding that the weekend raised almost 1992 Glenda Rider, Mr. Gay Naturists Inter- Contestants, who had been interviewed $17,000 for various charities. national 2015 Dave Barnett, and Mr. Mary- by the judges earlier in the day, appeared The contest began with a few words of land Leather 2017 Peter Pup Orpheus. in jocks, formal leather, and gave a brief welcome from COMMAND vice president I was delighted last year when COM- speech. Scorpius spoke about leather tra- and event chair Darrell Coffey. (I knew that MAND MC invited International Ms. Leather ditions and the need for the leather commu- Leather it was going to be a well-planned event 2016 Lascivious Jane to emcee and I was nity to continue to evolve stressing: “Whose Line on Friday evening when I received my run equally thrilled that they asked her back traditions are we trying to preserve? We Rodney Burger pass / name tag and instead of a traditional again this year. Usually known for her sexy should look forward not backward.” Tom’s lanyard, it was on a plastic string of pearls outfits, she arrived onstage in a fluffy uni- speech was on a similar theme and said which is the traditional gift for a 30th anni- corn onesie and quickly explained that it that although the leather drawings of Tom Mr. versary.) Darrell thanked everyone for com- was one of the few outfits that she could of Finland are timeless the “leather commu- ing and noted that in June the club changed wear due to being pregnant. This did not nity cannot be frozen in time.” He praised the meaning of their acronym from a Corps stop her later in the show from performing COMMAND MC on their 30th anniversary of Men Making a Noticeable Difference Mo- what she called “baby bump burlesque.” I and noted that he is not 30 years old him- Maryland torcycle Club to a Corps of Marylanders haven’t seen a baby bump that sexy since self adding: “The Maryland leather commu- Making a Noticeable Difference Motorcycle Cardi B. Also performing during the con- nity accepts everyone, even people with no Club to make their name more welcoming test were classical vocalist Lane McCord experience.” The third contestant Raven and gender neutral. and Eric D’Alessandro who played a tango left the audience deeply moved when he Leather This year’s contest judges were Mr. on his viola while using a leather man as relayed the heart-wrenching story of his Mid-Atlantic Leather 2018 Gérard Turner, his music stand. Both performances were brother’s death in a car accident followed 2019 is … Mr. Philadelphia Leather 2018 Dan M., Ms. great. by the death of his mother due to depres- Baltimore Eagle sion and presented his platform surround- Scorpius Red from Baltimore, Maryland, ing the struggle of mental illness. He con- was sashed Mr. Maryland Leather 2019 cluded with, “Take my pain and turn it into during the 29th annual contest held on something positive that you can do.” Saturday, November 3rd at the Windup Prior to the sashing of Mr. Maryland Space in Baltimore. First runner-up to Mr. Leather 2019, Mr. Maryland Leather 2018 Maryland Leather 2019 was William “Ra- Brendan Patrick gave one of the most enter- ven” Holman, who was also awarded the taining step-down speeches I have seen in brotherhood award. Tom Aberasturi-Haug- years. After hitting the stage in dress pants vik was named second runner-up. There and a shirt and tie, local performer Tommy were no additional contestants. Gunn sang a wicked version of “Popular” The popular Maryland Leather Week- as he stripped Brendan and dressed him in end which is produced by COMMAND MC leather shorts and a harness. Brendan then also marked the club’s 30th anniversary briefly spoke and explained that he began and kicked off on Thursday, November 1st his title year with many acquaintances and with a gear party titled “Pigsty V” at club is ending it with many friends and a large 1722. On Friday evening, as many out of number of one-night stands. town leather folks began to arrive at the Also working hard to pull off this fun host, Lord Baltimore Hotel, a welcoming contest were Mr. New Jersey Leather 2015 cocktail party was sponsored by Excelsior Thomas Fincannon as the den daddy, At- MC from New York City. The fun contin- lantic States Leatherboy 2018 boy justin ued Friday with a bar crawl to Leon’s and as the judges’ boy, founding member of Grand Central which had both bars packed. Mid-Atlantic Leather Girls Margaret as On Saturday afternoon representatives stage manager, and adding up the judges’ from the various leather clubs who make scores were “tally bears” Noah Branman up the Atlantic Motorcycle Coordinating who was runner-up in 2017 for Fire Island Council (AMCC), an umbrella organization Leather Bear and former president of La made up of many East Coast leather clubs, Fraternite du Loup Garou leather club Joe held a meeting at the hotel prior to the af- Noakes. Providing the ASL was manager ternoon contest. At 2 pm everyone headed of the Mid-Atlantic Deaf & Interpreter Fund uptown to The Windup Space for the main Kevin Lowery. event, the Mr. Maryland Leather 2019 Con- After the contest a 30th anniversary test. This was a new location for the contest reception was held back at the Lord Balti- and I thought it worked quite well. Also dis- more Hotel followed by a victory party for played at the venue was a big assortment of the new Mr. Maryland Leather at Leon’s. leather clothing, fetish wear, and other as- The weekend ended with another Pigsty sorted gear that made up the silent auction. play party back at the hotel. If you gog- In the past all auction items were displayed gle the historic Lord Baltimore Hotel you with a bid sheet. Also new this year was the will learn that it opened in 1928 and is re- concept of having online bidding only. I ad- Celebrating at Mr. Marland ported to be haunted. I’m sure that many mit I am old-school and dread that this may Leather guests reported hearing moans, groans, lead to drag performers only taking Apple and the rattling of chains during Mary- Pay – but it must have worked. It is my un- land Leather Weekend! t

36 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com Mr. Maryland leather 2019 Contest At The Windup Space Photos by Rodney Burger

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 37 870 Park Ave. Baltimore 410-539-4993

410-539-4850 227227 W.W. ChaseChase StSt

•BEST PRICES IN TOWN •TEA PARTY SUNDAY 44 p.m.-p.m.- 88 p.m.p.m. (W.(W. D.J.D.J. Vine)Vine) •KARAOKE SUNDAY 99 p.m.-12p.m.-12 •TUESDAY SHOW TUNES 8 p.m.-10 p.m (W. Jayson) •DJ AND DANCING onon FRIDAY 99 p.m.p.m. tilltill thethe musicmusic stopstops •COME AND WATCH ON OUR BIG SCREEN: Wedensdays Wedensdays -- AmericanAmerican HorrorHorror StoryStory Thursdays Thursdays -- RuPaul’sRuPaul’s DragDrag RaceRace

ComeCome JoinJoin UsUs ForFor OurOur 99thth AnnualAnnual THANKSGIVINGTHANKSGIVING FEASTFEAST HostedHosted byby ChefChef RonRon S.S. -- 66 p.m.p.m.

38 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com ATTORNEY FINANCIAL Lee Carpenter, Esq. Your LGBT Estate Planning Attorney Be part of our

Wills & Trusts Professional Powers of Attorney Woody Derricks, CFP® [email protected] Service • Advance Medical Directives • Probate & Trust Administration Directory. For • Prenuptial Agreements 2809 Boston Street • Suite 509 more information Baltimore, MD 21224 • Contact Mary at 500 E. Pratt Street, Suite 900, Baltimore (410) 732-2633 partnershipwm.com 410-802-1310 facebook.com/partnershipwm (410) 332-8626 • [email protected] COUNSELING SALON Phil Pecoraro Dr. Janan Broadbent LCSW-C, DCSW Specializing in Relationships FOR RENT Therapy and LGBTQ Concerns AFFORDABLE BOOTH Psychotherapy “The greatest stock market you located in TO A BARBER, can invest is yourself. Finding this Mt. Vernon BRAIDER, truth is better than finding a gold 1 E. Chase (The Belvedere) OR NAIL TECH mine.” – Byron Katie Office: 410-327-6892 Pam's Comfort Zone Cell: 410-370-6724 To Schedule an appointment 2800 Greenmount Ave. Visit drjanan.org Waverly Area philippecoraro.com Or call 410-825-5577 For more info: 410-814-8649

Bar 704 ASBURY PARK, NEW JERSEY 704 N 3rd Street Georgies Bar Harrisburg, PA 812 5th Avenue 717-234-4228 Asbury Park NJ 07712 BALTIMORE, MARYLAND 732-988-1220 Station North Arts Cafe Gallery The Brownstone Lounge Club 1722 1816 North Charles Street 412 Forester Street Paradise 1722 North Charles Street 410-625-6440 • stationnortharts.com Harrisburg, PA 17102 10 Asbury Avenue 410-727-7431 • club1722.com SteamPunk Alley 717-234-7009 Asbury Park, NJ 07712 732-988-6663 Club Bunns 227 W. Chase Street • 410-539-4806 REHOBOTH BEACH, DELAWARE 608 W. Lexington Street • 410-234-2866 The Rowan Tree Blue Moon The Asbury Drinkery 1633 South Charles Street 35 Baltimore Avenue 210 5th Avenue 203-207 W, Read Street • 410-225-3100 410-468-0550 • therowantree.net Rehoboth Beach, DE Asbury Park, NJ 07712 302-227-6515 • bluemoonrehoboth.com Hotel Tides The Eagle MARYLAND 408 7th Avenue 2022 North Charles Street The Lodge Lounge & Dance Club The Purple Parrot Asbury Park, NJ 07712 410-200-9858 • thebaltimoreeagle.com 21614 National Pike 247 Rehoboth Avenue Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 • 302-226-1139 732-897-7744 The Gallery Boonsboro, MD 21713 1735 Maryland Avenue • 410-539-6965 301-591-4434 Rigby’s Bar & Grill 404 Rehoboth Avenue Grand Central HARRISBURG, PENNSYLVANIA Rehoboth Beach, DE 1001-1003 North Charles Street Stallions 302-227-6080 • rigbysbarandgrill.com 410-752-7133 • centralstationpub.com 706 N 3rd Street Iguana Grill Leon’s Harrisburg, PA 717-232-3060 • stallionsclub.com 52 Baltimore Avenue 870 Park Avenue • 410-539-4993 Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 Mixer’s 302-227-0948 • iguanagrill.com 6037 Belair Road • 410-599-1952

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 39 T:9.875” T:9.6”

The Fosters available on Xfi nity Stream app Dreams refl ected. On X1, it’s pride all year, only with Xfi nity.℠ There’s power in seeing yourself on screen, and that’s why Xfi nity created a fi rst-of-its-kind community endorsed LGBTQ Film & TV Collection. With Xfi nity On Demand, you have access to thousands of TV shows and movies at home and on-the-go. Simply say, “LGBTQ” into the X1 Voice Remote to easily immerse yourself in an awesome, diverse collection of content that refl ects all of you. Simple. Easy. Awesome.

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Restrictions apply. Not available in all areas. No celebrity endorsement implied. ©2018 Comcast. All rights reserved.

40 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD NOVEMBER 9, 2018 • baltimoreoutloud.com

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233 N. MICHIGAN AVE. SUITE 2900, CHICAGO, IL 60601, P:312.297.9600 60601, IL CHICAGO, SUITE 2900, AVE. MICHIGAN 233 N. ACCOUNT MANAGER BURRELL MECHANICAL BURRELL