TRITONSTRITONS FOR VOLUME XXX, ISSUE 2 THURSDAY, APRIL 1 2010 WWW.DISREGUARDIAN.ORG HOTHOT CHICKSCH FirstFiFirsrst tthey bend ovoover,veerr, tthen they kick-off,kik cckk then theytth tackle +PIVKMTTWZ.W`.QOP\[*IKS ... theirt skin “Shut it down!” she responds is soso bronzed to the Black Student Union. andand ssvelte and swsweatye ... oh “And by ‘it’ I mean your fuck- god I just got ing mouth. Yeah, you. Bitch.” a boner By Stander PAGEP 20D Foxy Laaady
In response to weeks of harsh criticism from members of the Black Student Union — who claim Chancellor Marye Anne Fox has long neglected her duty to recruit and retain more black students on campus
— Fox finally emerged from her office OTCOM D last Monday to take a stand against / her critics. “I will not live in this state of mar- ginalization any longer,” she said. “I
shouldn’t be scared to leave the safety ONGFORYOU of my office every time I want to walk W THE FIRMEST to the faculty club for some soups.” lingered back near the entrance to the Fox said her feelings were deeply “You need to check your privelege Miraculously, Fox then ceased her Chancellor’s Complex throughout the hurt last month when a member of the at the door, Chancellor,” shouted one STANCE SINCE ABE trembling, and looked her adversaries one-woman protest. BSU told her not to “just stand there student from within the small crowd straight in the eye. “I, too, know what it’s like to be an and look like [she was] dumb.” that had gathered. LINCOLN’S STOOL “So bring it on, motherfuckers,” anal-retentive anglo-saxon adminis- “Doesn’t she know that’s just how I “You will definitely be seeing a The Guardian finally balls up she said, shedding her characteristic trator, loathed and misunderstood by look?” Fox asked. zinger of a campuswide e-mail with- and takes a fat shit on Mark G. warble for a deep, sure baritone. 24,000 rambunctious youth,” Rue said, The chancellor then attempted to in the next few days containing my Vice Chancellor of Student Life empathizing with her boss. “It’s rough pass around a petition to shut down retort,” Fox said. “And when you read Hitler and his board of turdlets. Penny Rue — wearing a pantsuit that out here on Library Walk. I am truly the BSU, but it appeared no one would it, I can assure you, you’ll wish you had PAGE D4 read “Solidarity” across the breast — heartsick for the chancellor.” accept the clipboard. bought some calemine for that burn.”
>/,530),9;0,:*6330+, Talking Tree Accused of Hate Speech
By Suck My Tree Leafy as Shit
A crowd of protesters gathered around the Talking Tree last Tuesday, demanding it be “cut down” after the tree allegedly broadcast racist mate- rial in violation of the Principles of Community. PLANS REVEALED FOR Eleanor Roosevelt College senior Jenn Pae said she was shocked that the administration would allow a cultural landmark at UCSD to contribute CAMPUS CLIMATE CONTROL See HATEpage D2 By Imma Racist gas which would help regulate campus cli- reveal that the gas — which is said to be A Real Mean One mate, according to recently leaked internal formed by fusing real pain particles with ▶ /=-;<+755-6<):A documents. real tear particles (along with any light-col- CSD admnistrators have report- Correspondence between Chancellor ored food, such as brie or macadamea nuts) edly invested up to $5.2 million in Marye Anne Fox and head chemists at 0WWLWV+I\?I[6W\ U the creation of a mind-controlling Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory See KKKpage D2 1V\MVLML)[I By Anonymous UCSD Student *:)>-8)4-;<161)6;8:7<-;<*),:)8 have a story that needs to be heard. I’m the By Mahmoud Ahmadinejad “Matisyahu“Matis syayahu is an ambassador of rap, and JaJamaicanma aic caan accent?a accccenn I’m pretty sure he only puts girl you’ve read about, the one who put a Editor in Chief he should be respectedre as such,” Goldsteinman iitt on to make hish crappy lyrics unintelligable,” I KKK hood on the Cat in the Hat statue. said. “He representsrepres a very prominent nose — I HHasanasan said. “Jew“Jew be trippin’ balls if Jew thinks On the night of the incident, my friend and rotests erupted Tuesday after A.S. meanmean cclassllass — of Jew. Did you know Barack ththisi is is political.”ppoliticalpolilititical”l. I — overcome with Triton spirit — decided Concerts and Events announced its ObamaObama is Jewish?Jewish True story.” WhenWhen asaskedked to comment on the protests, to throw a spontaneous birthday party for P plans to book the notoriously Jewish Protester aandn Revelle College sophomore MatisyahuMatisyahu strostrokedk his beard thoughtfully for a Theodor Seuss Geisel. We set up camp at the Matisyahu for the Sun God Festival. KhalidKh lid Hasan, HasanH however,h denied the holicaustical fewf moments t bbefore expressing solidarity with statue and started partying — hard. Isaac Goldsteinman, head of Tritons for accusations.accusations. HeHe said he and his peers are only hhisis fellow ChoChosense People. During our pillow fight, an embroidered Israel, said he was outraged at the outrage protestingprotesting the artist’sa inability to rap. ““I’llI’ll stand oon my own two feet/ Won’t be expressed by some members of the UCSD com- “ComeCome onon,n my brother,” Hasan said. broughtbrought down oon one knee,” he said. “I’ll fight See KKKpage D5 munity. He has kvetched that they be expelled. “Matisyahu“Matisyahu tottotallya blows. Have you heard his wwithith all mymy mightmig and get these demons to flee.” >,)7633:762,5:762,5 >/69,*(:;6 16..,9: 7,,705.;64:50./;>(;*/ :;+9,769;:<9-9,769; (::7,9.(3365 05:0+,@6<9(:: HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN THIRSTAY FRYDAY REVELLE CHICKS >YLUJO A GUARDIAN WEB POLL? 8:00 A.M. 8 p.m.: Sober Crabs: crawly *HYYV[ THOR’SHOR’S DDAY WHYDAY 12 a.m.: Shwasted Tacos: creamy $5/NIGHT The Grill, Roger’s Place √ No ONLY YOUOU SHAWTY LOCUSTS?!? THURSDAYTHURSDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY 4 a.m.: HIV+ Hot dogs: corny )YVVTZ[PJR √ Fuck No 9(70:;: PENNY RUE /HTZ[LY √ What’s Guardian? LATTERDAY SUNGAY *VJHPUL7VK ;-* Saints: holy AIDS: fab $1,000/HR SMACKHERDAY SUNGAY = P.M. Sinners: hot Sparkles: fabber Glory Hole, Chancellor’s Complex 7PURPL-PUNLY WWW.FUCKYOUTOO.BITCHES.ORG OR TITTY-TWIST HER NO HOMO 8 D SATURDAY SUNGAY Incest: hell yes SparkleAIDS: fabbest Executive Restroom 4`*VJR D2 THE DISREGUARDIAN THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 NOOSE FAMILY CIRCUS By Phreza Frhie :VTL4VHULY Keeper of the Night (ZZ*YHJRPZ>HJR Aging Man Eaters 9HQH-HYVMMSHUK :TY\[/PNO(SS[OL[PTL One of them is always late :TPSL`)HKa4HYY\/V /H`.PYS)SHIZOP[4HY[PU Makers of History :[YHPNO[.LSSPU*OLU ,`LSL[)P[L4L Associate News Editors @PW@PW/VVYH` /HYY`*V_ Wants 2 Get Down 1\Z[>OVYL` Gossip Girl *HZOTLYL:OH^S Indian in Chief 4H[PUN*YV^ White ,Y^PU.VUKVSH Nasty-Ass Perv ;OPJR4HZJHYH Associate Fuckus Editor 4WZI`3WITI["!!8ZWJTMU[*]\AW]*Q\KPM[)QV¼\7VM LIST O’ FOOLS /\SR/VNHU Hateus Editor 3LH[OLY)V^SLY Preying Mantis ▶ HATE, from page D1 Loft employee Jeremy Gallagher, “KSD-what?” said the dude sitting 7YPUJL3PVUOLHY[VM>HSLZ Keeper of the Sun to the “toxic” campus climate. She said who officially chooses the material next to Wong. t$BUJOUIF)BU she was on her way to ethnic studies on broadcast by the Talking Tree, said the famed Dr. Suess character the Lorax t.D,BZ)BUDI /HU2LLWTLPUJOLJR Wants to Bone Steve Jobs Monday when she first heard the slurs. racially charged event was an accident. also made a cameo at the tree-sit, mate- t,BOZF8FTU 2\2S\_,T Ballet in the Hallway “It was just this barage of all these “One of my buddies put the tree on rializing before protesters and allegedly t.BSLi*EPOUBOTXFSNZ ?[PUH9VZOVZOHUH Artsy Farts racist and homophobic lyrics,” Pae said. station 90.3, which plays a lot of main- relaying the sentiments of the tree. phone because I’m a little bitch” 9O`HU7OPSPWWL “It turned out to be Jay-Z’s ‘Can I Get stream hip-hop music,” he said. “ “I am the Lorax, I speak for this tree/ Cunningham :VYY`7SH`LY Keeper of the Internet A...’. Do you know how many fucking A group of dissenting koala bears It’s right to free speech, to play its Jay-Z!” t"OESFX"OH 4(:/(9\ZZPHU Lists n’ Shit times they say the N-word in that song?” soon showed up to the protest, holding a he said. “And where will the koa-la-loots t"MFD8FJTNBOTWJTPS Mostly Useless Her accusations were echoed by tree-sit in the name of protecting the tree go, who live in the trees?/ Superfluous t(ZMMFOTQPPO @PW/PW/VYYH`2\2S\_,T7PaaH/\[5»;HJV)LSS5 other concerned students, including from the administrative axe. lawsuits are what nobody needs!” t1VQUB :OPM[`,`LZ(ZPHU.PYS :VTL4VHULY Muir College sophomore Samantha Warren College junior and koala The latest racially charged inci- Who? t.BMJB0CBNB *VTW\[LY *VTW\[LY 1VUH[OHU2PTJOLL4(:/ Peterson, who reported hearing snippets supporter Daniel Watts said the ter- dent has inspired further investigation t5PN%JEPSZBO (9\ZZPHU5VT5VT@H`V5LLKH=PYNPU9LQVPJL@LH of Lil Wayne talking through the tree, mination of the Talking Tree would into other possible subliminal racism t1BOIBN.PSJOJ What? saying, “Girl I got that dope dick/ now not only be a restriction of its First on campus. Sixth College sophomore t%JDLTPOUSJDZDMFT 5VZLYPV\ZS`>OH[& come here and let me dope you.” Amendment rights, but would endanger Christopher Sweeten, who spoke at the t(SFFOQFBDF Peterson said she was mortified. all free expression at UCSD.” tree-sit, said he discovered that another t$BM1*3( ;P[Z4J.LL Keeper of the Tits 4PRL(^LZVTL We Miss You! “First racism, and now this “First Jay-Z, next Snoop Dogg and piece in the Stuart Art Collection — the t2VJUUFST -YLKK`;P[>H[JOLY Watcher of the Tits mysoginistic filth — this is a state of Kanye, and then what? Earth, Wind & giraffe catcher — forms a large, white t&MMJPU7BO/PTUSBOE 9VI*VJRYLH Do You think he’s gay? emergency,” Peterson said. “As both a Fire?” Watts asked. “It’s a slippery slope.” “W” when viewed from a helicopter. t7JTIBMJO7FHBT /L`.VVK3VVRPU» Whatcha Got Cookin? recovering drug addict and an active sex KDST Manager Meredith Wong, “It’s awfully suspicious, when one t#SBMFTT/FFMBBC Get Money *VTWSHPUH(YHIPHU:TLSS`7\:TLSS`7VV addict, I find this very offensive. Does who attended the tree-sit, agreed. She considers that W stands for White t$ISJT$SV[ :OHUUVU:\TTLY:OH^U7\ Mr. Wayne think women are just some said she feared that if the Talking Tree power,” Sweeten said. “We are in a state t$ISJT8FTUMJOH Business Manager kind of sex slaves, waiting to lap up his was cut down, UCSD’s “fiercely inde- of campus emergency. Hear me when I ;P[Z4J.LL1\UPVY t(BSZ3BUDMJGG Lame Fonts love juice? I don’t think so.” pendent” radio station would be next. say, it’s time to cut down the trees!” t.JDIFMMF#SBODI )YHUKVU*OVV*OVV/L`.VVK3VVRPU»2PT2HYKHZOPHU Distributors t5IF.2 (SHYPJ>O`>L.V[[H+PZ[YPI\[L<:HS*HY[KYP]LY5V]H:JV[[PH t1FOOZ3VFTDBUMJUUFS ;OL<*:++PZYL.\HYKPHUPZM\JRPUNSLNP[HZM\JR0M[OL t+PPTF +,XFMPWFZPV +PZYL.\HYKPHU^LYLHWLYZVU0^V\SK[V[HSS`OP[[OH[)\[ P[»ZUV[ZV0Q\Z[^VYROLYLHSSYPNO[ZYLZLY]LK +PIVKMTTWZ8ZMLQK\[;MZMVM.WO?QTT*TIVSM\+IUX][ t&EJUPSJO$IJFGIBU ;OL<*:++PZYL.\HYKPHUPZUV[YLZWVUZPISLMVY[OLYL[\YU VM \UZVSPJP[LK THU\ZJYPW[Z VY HY[ ;OL ]PL^Z L_WYLZZLK t$IJMESFOBUUIF4FBMT1PPM OLYLPU KV UV[ ULJLZZHYPS` YLWYLZLU[ [OL VWPUPVUZ VM [OL ▶ KKK, from page D1 After collecting sufficient materials observations revealed the chamber was t4IJMPI <*:+ +PZYL.\HYKPHU [OL DISREGUARDIAN CONFETTI! CUT OUT FOR INSTANT CELEBRATION. D4 THE DISREGUARDIAN THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 OPINIONZ HAVE YOU EVER EATEN YOUR Props to an Indonesian teenager for cutting off his penis and BOOGERS? VOTE ONLINE. throwing it down a well after a girl rejected him. Now that’s what we call commitment. √ Yes and it was awesome. √ Who do you think I am, some kind of sicko? Flops to Haiti for giving earthquakes a bad name. It’s not √ Uhhh, I don’t remember. their fault you built your houses out of dust, 7816176B+76<)+<2-;=;"[email protected] right on top of their sacred plates. -,1<7:1)4-,1<7:1)4 1¼TT;PW_ AW]:MIT 8IQV0WVMa eing the easy-going gal I am, it’s not too often I get upset B about anything beyond the lack of pomegranate syrup on campus (seriously, Cafe V — WTF??), but this much I will say. And I will say it loud and proud. I am fed up to here (*here!*) with the way the BSU is handling itself in this whole ridicu- lous excuse for a hot mess. Before you all start getting on my ass about how I’m just perpetuating ignorant white supremacy, I’m gonna tell you something only my best friend JJ and whoever dragged me to Twink Talk CALL ME MR. COCKS REBEKAH HWANG/GUARDIAN the Tigerheat bathroom last Saturday have ever accurately guessed — some- thing that never fails to shock both ARTSY FARTSY/DISREGUARDIAN the guys who give me a once-over in the locker room and the co-leads in all my high school musicals: I’m … gay. .W]T;UMTTQVO.MM[)ZM6W\\PM)V[_MZ You’d never know it, really. I don’t shop at American Apparel, and I njustice. It’s a word. A word American infants (for chuckles) and is our resolution solution: We con- German sex toys and their fancy haven’t watched Oprah since she that means horrible things. getting down with the craziest, most demn fees. We condemn the living imported cocaine and their trillion- got fat again. But after the actions of I Things like murder. Things like fucked up old-people sex you’ve hell out of them. Why, you ask? dollar paychecks. Damn them all. the BSU fucked us all harder than a child labor. Things like the system- ever seen (for vitality), the geezer Because of this: Fuck that shit. All Damn them all to the seventh story nine-incher through the backdoor last atic enslavement of an indigenous freaks had finally decided on a of it. Fees suck. They don’t help us of Geisel. quarter, I’m ready to break my silence. race, the rapid destruction of our series of proposals. at all. When was the last time fees Now is the time. We must rise Oh, don’t planet’s rainforests — things like And you know what those fat, did anything up and take back what is rightfully I’m talking you play dumb mass genocide and assisted suicide. greedy fuckers up and did? They According good for any- ours. We must ignite the revolution about the gay with me, you Injustice cuts like a knife. Injustice raised our fees. They raised them to a recent one? Never. Not and demand our retribution. We little minx: I’m burns like a flame. through the fucking roof, and then even once. God, must shed the shackles of oppres- dance — or talking about No injustice, however, is so great sat around laughing about it. They investigation, they suck so sion, break the chains of brutality, what was the gay dance as that which currently faces the laughed and laughed until they not a single much. spit out the gag ball of torment supposed to be — or what opressed students of the University vomited up their imported caviar, member of This is our and crack the whip of action upon was supposed of California. No murder, no tor- and then they laughed some more. university. Not the hairy ass of injustice. We must the gay dance, to be the gay ture, no baby-gutting gunshot to the Those sister-molesting asstards. the Board of the regents’ condemn. And we must do it all before those dance, before soul of humanity can compare to Those rat-bastard vultures. Those Regents is a university. with the most condemning picket people came those people the injustice now bearing down on bald-headed shitstains on the dove- student at the They don’t even signs in the history of condemna- long started came along the defenseless young people of this white robe of education. go here. In tion. Ones with glitter and stencils and started university: the student fee. Year after year, just like this, they University of fact, accord- and clever-ass puns. Puns that really crying about a changing their Late last year, the UC Board rape us for all we are worth. They California. ing to a recent make those earthworms think, you stupid piece of Facebook pro- of Regents — arguably the most suck our humanity. They degrade investigation, know? Fascist bitches the universe jump rope in file pics and racist, scheming, perverted group our society, our lives — heck, our not a single member of the Board over won’t know what hit them. crying about of asshole bigot shitheads ever to very existence. They set us back of Regents is a student at the This is it, motherfuckers! Let’s the library. “pain” and a slither from the diseased rectum of hundreds of years, murdering our University of California, and almost get pumped! Let’s get pissed! stupid piece of an undead Nazi — came together at parents, euthanizing our kittens and every single one can be traced back Let’s drop out of this piece of shit jump rope in the library. some shmancy whites-only country leaving us sobbing to pick up the in family lineage to Hitler. No one school! Let’s burn it! Burn it the Yep. Someone thought it was a club for their annual supremicist desolate remains of a once-great sucks more than Hitler. The Regents fuck down! BURN THEM ALL good idea, just because a few widdle rally. After nine and a half drug- university. don’t give a damn about us. All AND MAKE THEM WATCH!!! whiney bitches couldn’t take the fact fueled hours of clubbing Native- This injustice must end. So Here they care about is their expensive AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! they’re only 13 percent of the cam- pus, to cancel our cherished LGBT Non-Sexist dance (i.e., the only place /=-;<+755-6<):A on this shithole of a straight man’s campus to let the fucking sequins fly and find some decent D twice a quarter). .QOP\QVO/TWJIT?IZUQVO7VM*QO?WZLI\I CROSSING THE LINE By Xtina Rosh Hashanah TIPSYTAKES :QKSa5IZ\QV¼[/Ia' =U6W0M¼[6W\ ?PW/Q^M[I;PQ\' hen I heard that my Ricky had icky Martin likes men, W “come out” as a homosexual, I and I like 6’2” blondes couldn’t believe any media outlet as reputa- R with cock for miles — ble as TMZ.com would print something so so what? Nobody gives a fuck. fallacious. Just to clarify for all those celeb- If Ricky Martin can get gossip-whores out there: Ricky Martin is attention for coming out, I not gay. should be getting attention Just because a man can dress himself for enjoying dick-to-mouth. I and looks damn good shaking his bon bon mean really, who really cares in a soaking-wet pair of white jeans does that Ricky Martin “King of not mean he’s gay. open-fronted-shirts-tight- Take Anderson Cooper. Allegations leather-jeans-and-perfectly- that that silver fox is also gay are equally trimmed-eyebrows” is gay? offensive to my deepest sexual fanta- He’s almost 40 anyway. The sies. If Anderson is going to be plowing only ass he’ll be able to get is anyone — it’s not going to be some little from some wide-eyed 14 year Republican fag in a scummy airport bath- old that wants a brush with room — it’s gonna be me. In fact, I’ve got sex-tape fame. a feeling he’s gonna write me back any What the fuck is so special day now — especially since I sent him my about an old gay-Latin-singer, leopard-print panties (his fave) in my last anyway? Nothing. Nothing care package. at all. I deserve attention Anyway, back to my Ricky. Tight pants too. I do. I mean, I’ve done and manicured eyebrows don’t make him a lot in my life. Just because gay — they make him a man, and a down- I’m not gay doesn’t mean I right sexy one at that. Labelling Ricky don’t deserve some limelight. Martin gay will set a dangerous precedent Maybe if I were gay people LETTER TO THE EDITOR for all well dressed men out there — Ryan would care more. Actually — Seacrest, you better watch yourself. hey, that’s not a bad fucking idea. When I make out with that [vague statement that shows [Conspiracy theory paragraph. So, to all you scrawny little queers out girls people notice. C1V[MZ\)Z\QKTM0MZME1[ misunderstanding of article], but Something about The Man.] there that want a firm piece of Latin ass: Hot lesbians. Drool over this is about [one-sided perspec- I think the claim you made Get a move on. Ricky’s gonna be too busy )J[WT]\MTa1VKWZZMK\ it, boys — I’m batting for the tive here]. about [objective, multi-perspective showin’ me la vida loca to notice your other team now. Dear Editor, Also, I would like to point article’s background information] pansy-ass moves. In you last issue I saw that you out other inconsistencies in your was incorrect because you failed — Hot For Ricky — Need Sattention Desperately printed [a neutral Guardian article article such as the remark you to mention [biased, sort of racist And Waiting patiently on an issue someone cares about made about [correct information]. opinion]. way too much]. However, when This is a compeltely false claim, As [useless student leadership you printed the issue you failed to and in reality what happened was position that involves sign-mak- ▶ ;8=:<; mention [irrelevant hearsay]. [completely incorrect information ing], I believe the [issue in debate] When you reported [simple, that tempts Guardian editors to was very wrongly portrayed. I neutral fact] I feel like you missed retaliate and make letter-writer know that we can [vague, general- 7^MZ_MQOP\5IV-VRWa[0W\,WO[ key elements. You failed to men- look stupid]. If I was writing for a ized action about unity, coopera- tion how [miscellaneous informa- newspaper I would do the job way tion or over-coming some shit]. ▶ SPIRIT, from page D20 tion that we already heard but better and never make such ridicu- —[Insert name here] athlete dreams to be a part of.” ing three spicy dogs into his mouth. [Insert year and college here] disregarded as hearsay]. I agree lous claims. The Tritons, buoyed on by the larg- “Their new sausage policy facili- est showing of Blue and Gold solidar- tates a greater appreciation for the /=-;<+755-6<):A ity seen on the UCSD campus since athletes by offering an improved fan its inception, took on the Matadors experience, centered around sau- in front of one mildly amused fan, sage consumption,” Blobsac said. ▶ KKK, from page D1 remember how spooky ghosts two days later, and knew imme- amounting to the greatest aggregate “Through greater adoration of our pillowcase belonging to my great- could be. diately what I had to do. I felt so weight advantage UCSD support has sausages will spawn a more profound grandmother (the kindly Katherine We decided that since we were ashamed to be associated with seen over any visiting fan base in appreciation for our athletes.” Kay Kettleman) slipped onto the celebrating Geisel’s special day, he such a scary costume. I myself am RIMAC Arena history. Bosibich’s hope the concessions concrete. would want to be part of the fun, scared of ghosts, so I understood UCSD’s solitary fan on the night, would draw fans was validated by That’s when we got another too. After we put the pillowcase the pain those people were going 54-year old self-proclaimed hot-dog Blobsac — who also expressed a good idea: We could turn our on the statue, we stepped back through. enthusiast Frank “The Blob” Blobsac multi-faceted appreciation for Triton sleepover into a costume party! to admire our hard work. It was As a student who has watched said: “I like the way the dogs feel in volleyball. My friend said I should be a ghost, so freaky! We nearly skiddadled. “The Others” and “The Haunting,” my mouth.” “The way those strapping young because the pillowcase fit nicely (Instead, we put flashlights under I sympathize with students who Blobsac says his affinity for UCSD men brandish their delicately formed over my head. I marveled as my our chins and touched ourselves to were mad that a statue had come Twilight sports stems from a deep seeded forearms and their Spandex con- BFF fashioned two eyeholes in until we fell asleep.) back from the dead. Making fun of appreciation for the hot dogs sold at strained muscularity evoke a visceral, the pillowcase. Since I was feeling That was Tuesday night. I found the undead is not funny. It is just RIMAC Arena’s concession stand, as cathartic reaction that simply cannot a little silly by that point, I didn’t out about the campuswide scare plain spooky. much as it is rooted in an appreciation be ignored,” Blobsac said. for the teams’ athletic ability. Bosibich plans to attract a greater, “The relationship that I have with loyal following within the surround- UCSD volleyball is two-fold, and is ing community — converting fans therefore central to my livelihood.” in much the same fashion that that Blobsac said. “On one hand, the sau- Blobsac was converted. sages have the most genuine texture However, despite the landmark on my tongue, unlike any concession achievement in attendance at a UCSD stand hot dog in the area.” sporting event, three visiting fans Blobsac’s immersion into Triton nearly accounted for an aggregate volleyball fandom was not random, weight close to that amassed by says Dr. Bosibich, Head of the UCSD Blobsac — proving the Triton atten- Department of Spirit Promotion. dance advantage was in fact fragile. “Succulent hot dogs are delec- In spite of the massive influx of table,” Bosibich said. “Fans love hot fan-power, UCSD was unable to over- dogs, especially when the juice bursts come its fundamental and undeniable onto their lips — much to their inferiority as an athletic enterprise. delight.” They lost in three straight sets to a Blobsac interrupted, while shov- dominant Matador team. TONIGHT *OPH7L[¸*O*O*O*OPH¹ Ever wanted to party with the Disre- )LL[OV]LU¸-\Y,SPZL¹ Guardian? Try our simple initiation process. First, learn Hebrew, then recite 4V[aHY[¸:VUH[H7HY[¹ several versus to a statue of Jesus, then boss titties 9HMMP¸)HI`)LS\NH¹ starve yourself for ten days, then write ;/,),:;;/65.: an article on the Loft. It’s that easy! 05/(;,<:;/0:>,,2 *OPUH¸5H[PVUHS(U[OLT¹ 0)<-):-A7=8:-<-6<17=;'"[email protected]=; FILMREVIEW ALBUMREVIEWS 10 10 My World 2.0 Justin Bieber VIRGIN 0WTLWV?PQTM18]TT5a>IV =X*MPQVLAW]Z Sgt. Peppers’ Lonely <3s Club Band 2 lady gaga The Beatles PARLOPHONE 10 SKINNY JEANS CONVENTION YELLOW FEVER ANONYMOUS MEET AND GREET THAT DUDE’S GARAGE / APRIL 1, 9 P.M. / YOUR INDIVIDUALITY SUN GOD LAWN / APRIL 2, 2 P.M. / 5 YEN 4MVVWV;ML]KM[)UMZQKIV[1V\W4QNMWN ;QV A fuckin’ nicotine-fueled Urban Outfitters and American Apparel Craving some tight asian pussy? YFA understands. We get that the way she sponsored circle-jerk. Activities include: learning how to wash your jeans mispronounces words, throws up peace signs and flashes her fake-ass smile so they fit even tighter, asymmetrical bang hair-flip lessons, a heated at every photo op gets your nerdy white boy blood pumping. The YFA is hen your daugh- the Sky with Diamonds” as you would a Red debate on social issues and a TOMS design competition. Cultural committed to rehabilitating non-asian UCSD boys who’ve found themselves ter asks to listen so revels in their Chinaman, for both irrelevance is welcomed, but fatties are not. Bring your band’s demo chasing some foreign girl tail. YFA weens addicts off asians, by replacing the W to the latest counter-culture that it are asking for your music for initial cynicism followed by half-assed nods of approval. After, yellow-love with community love. At YFA, we love you long time. album on the gramo- unfolds through a ring- daughter’s hand. No all participants swap band names to add to their respective facebooks, further upping our obscurity factor. phone, be forewarned: ing guitar, throbbing good can come of a A sinister, mop-topped and humming almost band who cackles over foursome will be haunt- as if it were about to the plight of bereft ing your study this morph into the most seniors, as the Beatles evening. Loose-Legs dangerous and blasphe- often do in the sinis- Lennon and his cronies mous of instruments: ter and agist “When beyonce have returned to soil our the xylophone. I’m Sixty-Four.” Mark British shores with Sgt. Of course, the blight- my words: Those who BAD KATE HUDSON OBSCURE BAND SAUSAGE FEST IKEA AND THE COUCHES Pepper’s Lonely Hearts ers offer more hosannas don’t act with a firm MOVIE CHE CAFE PORTER’S PUB THE LOFT Club Band, and the very to the haze of opiates: hand will live to see PRICE CENTER THEATER FEB. 26, 8 P.M. FEB. 27, 8 P.M. FEB. 28, 8:30 P.M. foundations of Christian The tender, harp-driven their very own grand- FEB. 25 & 27, 6 & 9 P.M. $25 FREE FREE civilization are at risk. verses of “She’s Leaving children smoking the This time, the so- Home” are seductive Mary Jane and listening $3 AM I TRENDY ENUFF OLD MAN RIVER AND WHO THE FUCK? BAD COFFEE 4U? THE BEARDS called “Beatles” coun- to the weak listener. to this filth. Confirm CAFE ROMA terfeit themselves as the Men of Britain, be not your children’s souls to CAFE ROMA THE LOFT CHE CAFE MAR. 1, 8 P.M. FEB. 25, 7:30 P.M. FEB. 26, 8 P.M. FEB. 27, 7:30 P.M. FREE equally fictional Sgt. derailed, for your wives Jesus before they join FREE $25 $5 Pepper and his band, will be weak-kneed with the Mohammedans in beguiling the innocent the Fab Four’s sloppy, the fire. listener through a simu- satanic sex hair. — Pisco Sour lated concert. “Lucy in Reject the album Senior Staff Sleeper $66,),('6 7+856'$<$35,/ 7+(',65(*8$5',$1' 1895. A girl to kiss me. Hit up Matthew Pecot on 583-8743. EVENTS the leopard couch, any day, any time of FOR RENT Haitian refugees to improve cam- day. I'll be the one with the leather jacket Lost: One of the cocks from my headdress. The Kumeyaay Nation will be holding a pus climate. All participants will and the fedora. Alyssa's uterus. Cheap; please no drugs, If found, please stick it up my ass. Contact bad-ass party at the University House. be provided with an all-expenses other uteruses, curry, pokemon cards, the AVP Local Affairs at rushingriver@ BYOB and shovel. Contact Aries Yumal at paid cruise to San Diego and be immigrants, or bongs. Otherwise it's a wronghole.net [email protected]. offered lifetime unpaid internships. great space with good lighting and worn- ANNOUNCEMENTS in walls. Refugees may choose to work with Lost: Asian mother last spotted in capris CALPIRG party! $5 admission, plus $5 PIKE cleaning up after parties, or the Have you done something you've and visor by Snake Path. May be wearing drinks and $5 music-listening priveledges. Chancellor's Office taking pictures in regretted, with someone you Secluded getaway, barely used — comes visor. Contact [email protected] No refunds. All proceeds go to helping the front of Geisel Library. Contact us at shouldn't have? If you have, then I with a new kitchen facilities, paint job and world become a better place in a really 1-800-UC-OUTREACH. $125,000 worth of debt. Please contact think it was me, 'cause I'm pregnant Found: RayBans, lots of plaid, over-sized intangible way. and not getting rid of it. I hope you've Thomas Frank at SaveTheGrove@wefailed. com. sneaker and an iPod filled with obscure Old, dying cats in time for Canyon Vista's got bank. noises and electronica. Phones aren't real- A PROTEST, HELD BY ANGRY STUDENTS fine dining night. Well-nourished felines ly my thing so you can just contact me via WHO ARE MAD ABOUT THE ISSUES. IF a plus. 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Plus, we're not afraid to bust the Benjamins Black face paint. I don't really need whatever other shit my little sister is for it. Contact Brad Bingley at fun- it anymore. Contact Elliot von listening to on MySpace . Lady parts. Contact Swedish Sapphire [email protected]. Females Nordstrom at (858) 573-9202. at (674) 322-9487. under 96 percent Aryan or in a UCSD WANTED sorority need not apply. One closet, only used for 34 years. A nice American boy with document- Contact your local Republican rep- ed papers. Please contact the ladies of An issue of the Koala that doesn't suck resentative at CongressmanJoe@hot- MEChA - XOXO balls. We already have the one that came PERSONALS mail.com. out after the Compton Cookout and don't I'm looking for someone dark and mysteri- want to wait through another 8 years A pin, to pop our ballooning self- ous, with piercing eyes and sparkling skin. of dick jokes before another funny one. importance and false sense of abil- LOST & FOUND Stalkerish tendencies and lethal semen Contact the Guardian. You know where ity to inflict change with crappy a plus. Contact me at twilightfan1992@ to find us. photo collages and quotes we lifted Lost: Jumprope tied in the form of from the Guardian. Contact us at hotmail.com. a noose. If found, please contact IfYou'reNotForUsYou'reAgainstUs@ 1-800-IMAFUCKINGIDIOT. Two fingers. Contact Hayley at (310) CollectiveVoice.org. Gracias. Sustainable girl seeks sustainable boy. If 545-3664, then the STD clinic at you like compost, beachwood dildoes, Lost: Vishal's dignity. Last seen in Vegas. 1-800-DID-YOU-FINGER-HAYLEY? Someone to tell me I'm doing a good job. farming and are morally opposed to Might possibly be with Wesley in Contact Marye Anne Fox at lonelygirl@ queefing (methane gas is bad!) then hit Connecticut — previous owner desper- ucsd.edu. One fist. Contact Angela at (691) 372- me up at [email protected]. ately wants it back. Contact Vishal at (858) WWW.DISREGUARDIAN.ORG/SPURTS THURSDAY, APRIL 1 2010 THE DISREGUARDIAN D20 WORD TO YO MOTHA’ HOTCORNER The wrap-around dump-off, n. — 1. When a point guard wraps his arm around a ARSCHGEIGE HORST | PROTEST defender to dump the ball off to his teammate. This hot-shot activist broke seven windows while 2. In sex, when a female performs a “rusty occupying the Chancellor’s Complex during a protest last trombone” on her partner, and unexpectedly week, planting a threatening message to the administration recieves a fudge bar. ;8=:<;+76<)+<<0--,1<7:"[email protected] and securing negotiation for more sustainable toilet paper. By Busty Quarterback Senior Cock Sucker Pounds After years of debate and back- and-forth controversy, UCSD finally has its football team. While original pushes for an intercollegiate Triton football team focused on creating a men’s team, the recently approved initiative sponsored by the Associated Students and funded by the UCSD Athletic Department will create a much sexier alternative: a powderpuff S. Cullent Sawsage lingerie football team. Made from man to the left The team, which is slated for its inaugural season in the fall of 2011, Entering their Feb. 12 sea- will be made exclusively of female stu- son-defining matchup against dent athletes who possess the physical Mountain Pacific Sports talents and attributes necessary to Federation’s No. 1 ranked Cal compete at the highest level of col- State Northridge volleyball legiate lingerie football. Adhering to team, No. 13 UCSD needed a the bylaws of the American Lingerie home-court advantage — one Football Association (ALFA), the that only an inspirational dis- UCSD team will follow the same play of Triton pride from the rules of flag football and mandate the RIMAC Arena crowd could wearing of a wide arrange of blue and provide. gold-themed pieces of lingerie. The reception they would AS President Utsav Gupta, who receive was nothing short of has been one of UCSD football’s the greatest spectacle of UCSD greatest supporters, views the cre- spirit in the university’s humble ation of the lingerie squad as a great history. step in building school spirit. “Tonight more than ever, “When people think of college, we really needed our home they think of two things: football crowd to be our ‘seventh man’” and hot girls,” Gupta said. “Up until head coach Kevin Ring said. this point UCSD has had neither, so “What we experienced tonight the landmark creation of this lingerie transcends any expectations football team will help put UCSD that anyone in our organization on the map. And with all of the held of the degree to which our budgetary crises that we are having, home crowd can play a role in this team will be a spark to revenue our results. This is the kind of creation through ticket sales, mer- atmosphere that any aspiring chandising and alumni donations. See SPIRITpage D5 Plus, earlier critics claimed that foot- ball equipment like pads and helmets See POWDER PUFFpage D5 6W VOLUME XLII, ISSUE XLII THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 WWW.UCSDGUARDIAN.ORG :<5.6+ Board Passes ,ZISM\W0MILTQVM;]V/WL Housing, Dining A.S. Council experiments with viral bookmark campaign to leak artist Fee Increases lineup and build momentum for the annual campuswide event. By Henry Becker By Janani Sridharant4FOJPS4UBGG8SJUFS Staff Writer o commence the countdown to this The cost of on-campus dorms and dining will year’s Sun God Festival on May 14, likely increase beginning Fall Quarter 2010. TA.S. Concerts & Events scattered A proposed department budget, finalized by the bookmarks with the names of five art- on-campus Housing, Dining and Hospitality Services ists slated to appear on the main stage Board earlier this month, now awaits approval by Vice across campus earlier this week. Among the Chancellor of Student Affairs Penny Rue. The plan names leaked were Drake — who Associate would increase dining plans by $98 a year for students Vice President of Concerts and Events Alex in the residence halls, and $75 for those in on-campus Bramwell confirmed as the event’s head- apartments. liner — Michelle Branch, Thrice, Relient K Housing fees would increase by $279 a year for and DJ Z-Trip. students living in single or double rooms in the The bookmarks, painted with artist por- residence halls, and $247 for those in triple rooms. In traits bearing the stylized Sun God stamp the apartments, single- and double-room occupants and a tip to check out http://www.sungodfes- would see a $287 increase, and students in triple tival.ucsd.edu on April 5 for the full lineup, rooms would pay $237 more. appeared early on the morning of March The committee, which passed the budget on March 29, when members of ASCE placed them in 12, is comprised of nine students representing each of areas such as Mandeville, Price the six colleges, student staff, the Inter-Collegiate OPINION Center and Library Walk. Residents Association and the A.S. Council, as well This better Last year, the festival’s line- as six administrative representatives from HDS, the not be the up was revealed over mega- Financial Aid Office, and the Residential Life Office. best we’ll phone at the annual Battle of ever have. Voting members passed the budget 10-1, with one PAGE 8 the Bands. member abstaining and A.S. Campuswide Senator “Traditionally, announcing Wafa Ben Hassine casting the sole dissenting vote. the lineup at Battle of the Bands has been Those in favor of the proposal said the increases anti-climactic and awkward,” Bramwell are necessary to maintain current dining services and said. “This year, we wanted to do some- food prices. thing new and fun, so we did a soft release “The [increased] fees are [needed] because of the of some of the bigger acts. We wanted input gap that has been going up in general,” ICRA people to find the artists on their own — get representative Michael Lam said. “Food, utilities and people talking to their friends and building other costs are going up — such as water for all of the buzz.” San Diego.” The unusual nature of the release left According to Lam, if the cost of dining packages some students unsure if the musicians were officially confirmed for the festival. See HDH,page 6 “I thought they were just rumors,” Muir College senior Rebecca Holland said. “I RES HALLS APARTMENTS kept hearing about Michelle Branch and increase in Drake and seeing people update their sta- meal points $ 98 $75 E tuses on Facebook, but I didn’t know if they RIK were actually coming.” J housing increase Other students thought the partial EPSEN for triples $345 $335 release of the lineup was a mistake made by / increase for A.S. Concerts & Events. G UARDIAN $ $ “The story I heard was that some singles/doubles 395 385 SOURCE: HOUSING, DINING & HOSPITALITY See SUN GODpage 7 STAR- -5IQT5Q[PIX:IQ[M[+WVKMZV[ SPANGLED LAWN 7^MZ10W][M)LUQ[[QWV[8ZWKM[[ Student org Young Spreadsheet sent that the I-House administrators A followup e-mail from Gilhoi Americans for to entire I-House illegally use criteria such as race asked recipients to permanently Liberty placed and citizenship in their admis- delete the e-mail without reading flags on the listserv reveals that sions process. its contents, but the information grass beside On March 4, I-House Director was quickly circulated. Library Walk selection policy takes Christi Gilhoi sent an e-mail to Elizabeth*, an Eleanor on March 31 to race into account. the entire I-House listserv with Roosevelt College junior who the subject line “Confidential — wished to remain anonymous, protest the war in the Middle By Kelly Kim I-House Selection List.” The e-mail said the e-mail reveals a flawed Staff Writer contained a spreadsheet with the admissions system in which citi- East. March personal information of 148 stu- zenship and ethnicity are deciding 19 marked the An internal e-mail mistak- dents who had applied to I-House factors. seven-year enly leaked by the director of in Fall Quarter 2009, including “I definitely think people’s anniversary of International House has received columns for factors such as “citi- the U.S. invasion ANDREW OH/GUARDIAN criticism from students who allege zenship” and “cultural identity.” See I-HOUSEpage 10 of Afghanistan. >,)7633:762,5:762,5 -69,*(:; :<590:, 50./;>(;*/50./;>(;*/ :<9-9,769;:<9-9,769; .(:7,9.(3365 05:0+, LOW SHOULD THE UNIVERSITY THURSDAY FRIDAY *VTPJZ PROVIDE HEALTH CARE 6:36 A.M. Height: 8-10 ft. Height: 5-10 ft. $2.89 5L^)\ZPULZZ FOR PRISONERS? THURSDAY FRIDAY Wind: 3-12 mph Wind: 3-6 mph Bobar Liquor, Chula Vista H 57 L 45 H 64 L 59 THURSDAYTHURSDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY Water Temp: 62 Water Temp: 62 F 600 F St. & Broadway /LHK4LL[Z.YV\UK √ Yes :<5:,; HIGH 3L[[LYZ[V[OL,KP[VY √ No SATURDAY SUNDAY +Y\[OLYZ √ I don’t know Height: 4 ft. Height: 4-5 ft. $3.89 SATURDAY SUNDAY Wind: 3-8 mph Wind: 2-10 mph 76, San Diego *SHZZPÄLKZ H 63 L 52 H 63 L 53 7:08 P.M. SATURDAY SUNDAY 2919 Alta View Dr. near S Woodman St. WWW.UCSDGUARDIAN.ORG Water Temp: 62 F Water Temp: 62 F :\KVR\ 6 THE UCSD GUARDIAN THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 NEWS SUNNY-SIDE UP By Philip Rhie :PTVUL>PSZVU Editor in Chief (S`ZZH)LYLaUHR Managing Editors 9LaH-HYHaTHUK :TY\[P(YH]PUK Copy Editors 2LSZL`4HYY\QV /H`SL`)PZJLNSPH4HY[PU News Editors (UNLSH*OLU (`LSL[)P[[VU Associate News Editors 9LNPUH0W ;YL]VY*V_ Opinion Editor *OLY`S/VYP Associate Opinion Editor =PZOHS5H[HYHQHU Sports Editor 4H[[*YVZRL` Associate Sports Editor ,K^PU.VUaHSLa Focus Editor (WYPSSL4\ZJHYH Associate Focus Editor TWO COKES SHORT By Sam Pelle 1LUUH)YVNHU Hiatus Editor 4H[[OL^7LJV[ Associate Hiatus Editor ,YPR1LWZLU Photo Editor 1VOU/HUHJLR Associate Photo Editor ,TPS`2\ Design Editor *OYPZ[PUH(\ZOHUH Art Editors 7OPSPW9OPL :HYP;OH`LY Web Editor 4HYPH:VRVSV] Training and Development Page Layout 9LNPUH0W,TPS`2\(YPLSSL:HSSHP5HVTP:OPMMTHU ;LYLZH;YPUO:PTVUL>PSZVU Copy Readers (T`.\aKHY4VUPJH/HPKLY1VUH[OHU2PT 4HYPH:VRVSV]5HVTP:^LV(UP[H=LYNPZ1V`JL@LO Web Designers 1HRL:JOULPKLY1LUU`;>HUN 4VUPJH)HJOTLPLY General Manager 0W][QVOIVL5MIT8WQV\.MM1VKZMI[M[?W]TL.]VL5]QZ:MVW^I\QWV[ 4PRL4HY[PULa Advertising Manager ▶ HDH, from page 5 (SMYLKV/=PSHUV1Y Advertising Art Director Cunningham said an increase in vote, students asked the committee “Being someone that tries to get 9VI*VYLH Marketing Team Leader remains the same, significant cuts mandatory dining dollars would to reject dining-dollar and housing students to come here, especially ,]HU*VVR Network Administrator in services will follow, including the help pay for the reopening of Sierra fee increases, saying they were an from low-income backgrounds, it’s Student Marketing and Events possible shut down of OceanView Summit, the John Muir College din- unnecessary burden on freshmen really hard to say, ‘Come here, but @LSLUH(RVWPHU+HYH)\2PYI`2VV :OHUUVU>PU[LY:OH^U?\ Terrace — which has the highest ing hall currently undergoing reno- and sophomores. I’m not sure if you can afford it.’” Business Assistant operational costs and the largest stu- vations. He added that bump in fees “Housing and Dining knows that Prevo said. “It puts me in a really ;PMMHU`/HU Advertising Design and Layout dent workforce of any dining hall at would not be accompanied by any students are unaware, and they keep difficult position.” )YHUKVU*O\,]HU*VVR2PT*VVWLY UCSD. In the event of OVT’s closure, increase in food prices, and that on raising fees when they might not Distributors adult staff would move to other on- the current level of services would even be necessary and taking advan- Readers can contact Henry Becker at (SHYPJ)LYT\KLa:HS.HSSHNVZ:JV[[/H]YPZPR ;OL <*:+ .\HYKPHU PZ W\ISPZOLK 4VUKH`Z HUK campus venues, but students would continue. tage of a lack of concern,” Revelle [email protected]. ;O\YZKH`ZK\YPUN[OLHJHKLTPJ`LHYI`<*:+Z[\KLU[Z HUK MVY [OL <*:+ JVTT\UP[` 9LWYVK\J[PVU VM [OPZ have to reapply to work at another According to a 2010-11 budget College Resident Adviser Chiang Jui UL^ZWHWLY PU HU` MVYT ^OL[OLY PU ^OVSL VY PU WHY[ ^P[OV\[ WLYTPZZPVU PZ Z[YPJ[S` WYVOPIP[LK HSS dining hall. released by the board, HDS is try- Young said. “[Students] might not YPNO[Z YLZLY]LK ;OL <*:+ .\HYKPHU PZ UV[ YLZWVUZPISL Eleanor Roosevelt College com- ing to cover an expected decrease care personally because their parents MVY[OLYL[\YUVM\UZVSPJP[LKTHU\ZJYPW[ZVYHY[;OL]PL^Z CORRECTION L_WYLZZLKOLYLPUKVUV[ULJLZZHYPS`YLWYLZLU[[OLVWPU mittee representative Daniella in total income of over $2,300,000, are paying their fees.” PVUZVM[OL<*:+.\HYKPHU[OL Plaza Adjacent Eateries 2 (3 + *. + 2 & ((((& meet ?#/$#7+%''8'. ? 170& #$.'+<<#'8'. ?06+/#6'61.#4)'/''6+0)#0&%10('4'0%'411/5 2 *3+ ', * 2 (%(* +- *, ,#'!((& ? *1)70'8'. ?#..411/5?#0%' 67&+1?06'46#+0/'068'07'5 Atrium Food Court ?76&1142.#<#5 2 #* )% ,- 0(-'! 24# "",'" ,#'!((& ?1/$#;1#560&+#0 #0&114#0&744;:24'55 ?74)'4+0)? #0614+0+4''-5.#0&4+.. belong 2 (( (() 2"#%#) * *-1 ,#'!((& ? #2+1%#:24'55?"#0<+$#4#(A#6 *'1(6 ? ..#/2751//76'41#4& 2 ' *%,(* 24 -* #' shop ? ..#/275 4#05('4 551%+#6+10 ? .7/0+ ((#+45 ? 4#2*+% 67&+1? 5?76$#%- 74( *12 2* -, ,- ', ++( #,#(' 24 ,(*0+"#*,*#',"() ? ? 156#.'06'4? 0(1? 705*+0'#4-'6 ?'06'4(14 67&'06081.8'/'06 ? 1:(=%'?0' 612 2*(-' /(*$ (($+ 2(*, *+- ?1//76'4 67&'06 '48+%'5 play ?41557.674#.'06'4 2*(. 2,! 4 - ? *'#/'411/?4+%''06'4 *'#6'4? *'1(6 ?:24'55 1 7%%'55 ?.75&#+.;'8'065#0&#%6+8+6+'5 ?06'4)4172 '.#6+10541)4#/ 2#4# +#' -#+#' 2* "(-+ (&)-, *(-'! ? 1%+'6; relax ? 2 #( 2 #$ "() ?14'6*#0#&1<'0.170)'55'#6+0)#4'#5#0& ? 67&'064)#0+<#6+10(=%'5 2#6+1561%*115'(41/4#0)+0)(41/37+'6567&; ? 0+8'45+6;'06'45 &8+514;1#4& 2 +(-* ', * 2 (& '+ ', * ? 1.706''4100'%6+10 521656151%+#.*#0)1765 eat | shop | play | relax | meet | belong ?7+'6'4.'8'. 0+%*'.170)'5(14567&;+0) ? %6+8'/14'51%+#.1//76'4170)'(146#-+0)# $4'#-*#0)+0)1769+6*(4+'0&5#0&9#6%*+0) 14 2.#;+0)$1#4&)#/'5 ?170)'510.'8'.5 #0& 1(4+%''06'4#56#4' universitycenters.ucsd.edu 12'0 *1745 70&#;> *745&#; universitycenters.ucsd.edu NEWS THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 THE UCSD GUARDIAN 7 +W]VKQT,Q[K][[M[4IKSWN *WWSQVO,ZISMI 5MLQI7ZO.]VL[)^IQTIJTM ,MXIZ\]ZM.ZWU t the first A.S. council meet- Peter Benesch gave an update on the ing of Spring Quarter, coun- state of the A.S. budget. FINANCIAL AID DEADLINE THU L`]EmlYqlgjYf\ APR 8 :]Ylk9flaim] 9pm 0$< :><hj]k]flk ,*(H9JLQoal` ,I \RX KDYH EHHQ VHOHFWHG IRU YHULILFDWLRQ TUE Eqkla[Jgglk:Yf\$K`gj]daf] FRPSOHWH DQG VXEPLW \RXU YHULILFDWLRQ APR 20 JgglrYf\_m]klk 9pm ZRUNVKHHW IHGHUDO WD[ UHWXUQV DQGRU RWKHULQIRUPDWLRQE\WKHMAY 1stGHDGOLQH :gg_a]Fa_`lkhj]k]flk 7R EH FRQVLGHUHG IRU WKH EHVW ILQDQFLDO DLG SDFNDJH \RX PXVW KDYH VXEPLWWHG \RXU SAT J]__Y]Fa_`lk )$)6$E\0DUFK DQGVXEPLWDOOPLVVLQJ APR 24 9pm GRFXPHQWVDQGRUFOHDUDOOSURFHVVLQJKROGVE\ WKH0D\VWGHDGOLQH$SSOLFDWLRQVFRPSOHWHG DIWHUWKHGHDGOLQH:,//127EHFRQVLGHUHGIRU J]__Y]<]EYqg 8QLYHUVLW\ JUDQWV 6(2* )HGHUDO :RUN 6WXG\ WED o'KljYf_]jYf\L`]<]nYklYlgjk 8QLYHUVLW\RU3HUNLQV/RDQV¬ MAY 5 9pm If you haven’t completed the 2010-11 FAFSA yet, you should do so as soon as possible. You may use the online application at ZZZIDIVDHGJRY >GJEGJ=AF>G You should also meet the May 1st deadline for documents and processing holds in the event funds 0-0&,0)&0),(ooo&Z]ddqmh&[ge become available for late FAFSA filers. ),+K;]\jgk$KgdYfY:]Y[`;91*(/-*) GN=J 8 THE UCSD GUARDIAN THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 WWW.UCSDGUARDIAN.ORG/OPINION OUT OF CONTEXT Props to Bill O’Reilly for offering to pay $16,500 in legal fees for the father of a deceased marine, who sued the The idea of Sun God isn’t to Westboro Baptist Church after it picketed his son’s funeral. aim for danceable music.” Flops to the A.S. Council for promising the Grove Cafe would ALEX BRAMWELL accept dining dollars when its health inspection grade wass 18% “ A.S. AVP CONCERTS & EVENTS 7816176+76<)+<<0--,1<7:"[email protected] in fact too low for the dining department’s standards.. -,1<7:1)4; .IKMJWWS" ;KIVLIT 5ISMZWN DRAWING FIRE By Johan DeLaTorre LETTER TO THE EDITOR ?M5][\;\Ia)K\Q^MIVL the way they did. We ask that you Google “noose” and scan images of 1VNWZUML)N\MZ\PM8ZW\M[\[ lynching. We ask that you consider what it would be like to never see Dear Editor, another person from your community As the new quarter begins, we in class. Perhaps then you will under- ask that all students, staff, faculty and stand that the reaction was not exag- especially administrators reflect on the gerated, but in fact quite temperate. events that shook UCSD at the end More importantly, we ask all of February. We do so not in order to students, staff, faculty and especially dredge up unpleasant memories but to administrators at UCSD to join in the focus the campus on the road ahead: long-term project to make the campus one that hopefully will lead to a more more reflective of California and more inclusive campus that reflects all of hospitable to all communities. We California’s communities. believe Chancellor Marye Anne Fox’s If you are among those who still team when it says it is committed to are not aware that something impor- making much needed systemic chang- tant happened in February, we urge es in student and faculty demograph- you to ask your fellow students, work- ics, the curriculum and the entire ers or colleagues for their understand- campus environment. With interna- ing of what took place. We have met tional attention on UCSD, it is crucial some professors, for example, who that such changes be implemented truly knew nothing about the “cook- before private donors and other fund- out,” the noose, the other racist inci- ing sources begin to redirect their gifts dents or even the rallies and protests. to other more diverse schools. It would behoove them to look at the The students who protested online video of the protests and listen together with their staff and faculty to the students. It would be good for allies were not thinking, “What can Eligibility Requirements: Contact Info: 2.5 UC GPA Literature Building, 2nd Floor, Room 210 90 Units 8am -12pm and 1pm - 4pm on Benefits: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday Practical Experience 8am - 1pm on Wednesdays Upper-Division Elective Units Phone Number: 858-534-4355 A Chance to Apply Classroom Theory Website: http://aip.ucsd.edu 10 THE UCSD GUARDIAN THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 NEWS ;\]LMV\+TIQU[10W][M8WTQKa *I\\TMWN \PM 7 ; ; >QWTI\M[! +Q^QT:QOP\[)K\ *IVL[\W UNDERGRADUATES into your career If you bank with with a UCSD Extension Certificate California Bank & Trust LAUNCH is a program offered by UCSD Extension that enables UCSD Undergraduates to obtain a Specialized Certificate in and have been charged one of a variety career fields at a reduced cost to the student. Overdraft Fees, you may have legal rights ENROLL to recover the fees charged. TODAY! Most Extension For a FREE analysis of CERTIFICATES: courses start during Week 1 or Week 2. your legal rights, please call: ͻusinessAnalysis 858-485-6535 ͻClinicalTrialsAdministraƟon ͻFinancialAnalysis ͻParalegal A $2450 value Law Office of Alexander M. Schack ͻPatentƐĂŶĚŽƉLJƌŝŐŚƚƐ ͻProjectTeamManagement for only Alexander M. Schack, Attorney $650!* 16870 W. Bernardo Dr., Suite 400 ͻRegulatoryAīairs San Diego, CA 92127 ͻSustainableusinessPracƟces 858-485-6535 ͻTecŚnicalDocumentaƟon Extension courses excludes Paralegal certificate * provide practical skills taught by instructors who Nix, Patterson, & Roach, L.L.P. currently work in their industry. Christopher R. Johnson, Attorney 3600B N. Capital of Texas Hwy., Suite 350 Austin, TX 78746 512-328-5333 extension.ucsd.eduͬůĂƵŶĐŚͮlauncŚΛƵĐƐd.eduͮϴϱϴ͘ϴϮϮ͘ϭϰϲϬ 11 THE UCSD GUARDIAN THURSDAY, JANUARY 21, 2010 WWW.UCSDGUARDIAN.ORG/HIATUS TONIGHT :OL /PT¸0U[OL:\U¹ Want to help the children? The Loft is :OL /PT¸9PKPU»PUT`*HY¹ presenting Rebecca Cammisa’s 2009 documentary “Which Way Home” :JVYWPVUZ¸9VJRAVUL¹ — a film that details the perilous boss ditties :JVYWPVUZ¸3VYLSLP¹ lifestyle of child migrants in Mexico ;/,),:;:65.: — at 8 p.m., PAYC. 05/0(;<:;/0:>,,2 ;LYYPISL;OPUNZ¸;OL/PSSZVM)PYTPUNOHT¹ HCiONTACTATUS THE EDITOR: [email protected] INTERVIEW Hot-Tub Timers Get Wet and Wild By Jenna Brogan Hiatus Editor ince its release into theaters last Friday, Steve Pink’s “Hot Tub S Time Machine” has received mixed reviews. But whether it be wittily stupid or stupidly witty, what better way to look at a film than through the eyes of the actors. On February 15, 2010, two of the film’s stars — Craig Robinson (Darryl from “The Office”) and Clark Duke (Dale from “Greek”) — went behind the scenes with The Fiercest the Guardian. Get ready for heavy drinking, menage a troi-ing and barrelling from mountaintops. The Guardian: What was it like of the Independents shooting “Hot Tub Time Machine”? Clark Duke: It was fun, but cold — as you would expect with snow. Craig Robinson: Yeah, dur- arch 22: I introduced myself and the show ended as the whole — as long as it’s not normal. kitchen can give the blonde guitarist ing the three months we were in to a circle of hardcore rockers audience sat around a harp, cross- I show up half an hour after in fishnets and spiked leather some Vancouver, it was just us and the M from bands with names like legged like it was story time. doors. It’s still a wait until the show competition: $1 soy ice cream sand- Australians. The resort looked just Vivid Sekt and Bog People by telling A few months starts, as the wiches at the shows, and real sugar like the hotel in “The Shining.” He one of the bassists he looked like “the before that, I openers are in a root beer for the same price. even broke all the shit in his room! chillest Norse god of war ever.” termed Tera Off the constant game of They’re not preachy about the CD: Hey, we’re in this little bitty He looked over with a constipated Melos’ music chicken with the veganism, though. Despite horror grin. I consider hauling scrawny “space-thrash,” Rails audience to see stories I’ve heard of non-vegan bands town and then someone just kicks MATTHEW PECOT your door open while you’re asleep. white ass all the way back to Mira and guitar god who can show up trying to book a show and hitting a … I’m not going to lie to you guys, Mesa. Nick Reinhart [email protected] last — but there’s brick wall (and despite the Animal I’ve been drinking a lot. “I think you just made his life,” nodded in agree- room on the Liberation Front ’zines and posters G: If you could go back in time, said another member of the circle. ment, pedo ’stache and all. back-room couch to perch and kill declaring “DESTROY ALL JUDGE would you change things? The day before, a ukulele player Welcome to the Che Cafe, the some change. Even though I’ll always CR: Change? You know, I wouldn’t declared herself to be ambigender, schizo home of whatever you want be an omnivore, the Che’s vegan See RAILS, page 13 change a thing. Actually, there is one girl I wouldn’t have stopped to FILMREVIEW talk to … G: How did you look 20 years ago? CD: My head was the same size. I almost killed my mother at birth. Ha! Old-World Slash CR: I had that haircut — It was Clash of the Titans real high. I majored in music. I was STARRING SAM WORTHINGTON & LIAM NEESON a super freshman, all goofy and Makes for Mythic DIRECTED BY LOUIS LETERRIER stupid. RATED PG-13 01:58 G: Were you guys skiers prior to filming? Romp CR: They said, “We need you to ski for the movie.” And I said, “I’m By Rebecca Erbe black.” Staff Writer CD: All the other guys knew how, but not us. lash of the Titans” is a cheesy-as-hell CR: The boots are freaking tight! I remake of a 1981 film that treats Greek kept saying, “No, this is too tight!” C mythology as fact, revels in low-grade My toes were all scrunched. By graphics and stars Trey MacDougal from “Sex the third day, I made it down the and the City.” In a nutshell: The revamping mountain. It would have made involves minor storyline tweaking, dramati- great extra footage! I snow-plowed cally improved effects and Sam Worthington down the mountain, but I made it — otherwise known as this year’s Matt Damon, See HOT TUB, page 12 See TITANS, page 13 druthers exit strategy HIATUS PICKS THE WEEK’S BEST BETS THIS WEEK ON CAMPUS RJD2 “LEGALLY BLONDE: THE MUSICAL” “SHERLOCK HOLMES” MOVE ALONG PEOPLE SUN GOD THE CASBAH / APRIL 5 / 8:30 P.M. / $20 / 21+ CIVIC THEATRE / THROUGH APRIL 4 / $18 PRICE CENTER THEATRE NOTHING TO FEEL HERE BATTLE OF THE BANDS Samples, synths, and electronica: if you missed Looking for a confidence booster after receiving APRIL 1 & APRIL 3, 6 P.M. & 9 P.M. VISUAL ARTS FACILITY THE LOFT STS9 in February, here’s a chance for your your Winter Quarter grades? Look no further than $3 APRIL 2, 6 P.M. APRIL 3, 8 P.M. penitence. Most of RJD2’s tracks float chiming, the San Diego Civic Theatre for a pick-me-up that WHICH WAY HOME FREE FREE doesn’t require illegal substances. That’s right — nod-away rhythms over a galactic, vacant string THE LOFT TRASH AXIS, ESKERA FIRST MONDAY your closet-favorite chick flick from 2001 has been section, while scrapbook-clipping samples chop APRIL 1, 8 P.M. CHE CAFE CPMC CONCERT HALL adapted to the stage for one Elle of a good time. If in and out. When he dips into singer-songwriter PAYC APRIL 2, 8 P.M. APRIL 5, 8 P.M. territory, though, RJD2 trades his spaced-out a bubbly Reese Witherspoon impersonator doesn’t splicing for lyrics that are about as agile as put you in a good mood, the bend and snap, the BRIAN ACHINAL $5 FREE the ISS — but he brings funky, slow-dance perky legal jargon and the purse-riding Chihuahua CPMC CONCERT HALL SUN GOD DJ BATTLE DANCE OPEN MIC NIGHT smoothness that’ll have you eyeing the hips certainly will. Just make sure to dress the part, APRIL 1, 8 P.M. THE LOFT THE LOFT swaying next to you. What better cure for the because “whoever said orange was the new pink FREE APRIL 2, 8:30 P.M. APRIL 5, 8 P.M. Mondays? (MP) was seriously disturbed.” (JB) FREE FREE 12THE UCSD GUARDIAN THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 HIATUS TV Funny Guys Let off Steam ALBUMREVIEWS ▶ HOT TUB, MYVTWHNL Scorpions She & Him down. 3 6 G: What was your favorite part to film? Sting in the Tail Volume Two CR: There’s a scene where I’m in the hot tub with a young lady SONY BMG MERGE RECORDS — I think about it daily. Jessica Paray is her name. It was very 10 10 professional — I only got hard three times. Ha! CD: That was also my favorite part. I was under the water! G: Was it fun on set? Sleaze-Rockers Bow Out and Keel Over Cuddly Duo Pops Prozac Like It’s 2012 CD: Oh, yeah, there was a lot of cracking up. There was a lot fter 26 years of ripping off you can do with lyrics strung ooey Deschanel’s dodged music; even her saddest songs of “Guys, we have to get to Act Three!” are sunny. CR panties with “Rock You together via madlib. the Hollywood archetype : Look out for “Hot Tub Time Machine 2: Cincinnati.” We of good-actress, terrible- The excessive sentimen- ain’t going to screen that one — we’re just going to let it out. Like A Hurricane,” Sting Then the frantic pace of Z A tality and cutesy melodies, “Rock Zone” hits like a tsuna- singer once again, with the Ha! in the Tail is the last album idealizing the lifestyles of G mi, with a chorus that catches help and hipster street-cred : Were there any practical jokes played on set? for German melody-metalists Californian youth, make for CD: There were a lot of impractical jokes. Scorpions. Sting follows their the playing-for-beer rawness of folkster M. Ward after the that the Scorps have been perpetually-adolescent pop. CR: Yeah, not really practical. They kept improving — one familiar two-step formula duo mastered effortless pop on chasing. Follow that with the When Zooey has the blues, would start and everyone would join in. My door got kicked of sexed-up, guitar-driven 2008’s Volume One. it’s teenage blues, and you just distant synths of power ballad She & Him’s follow-up, in! anthems followed by melan- can’t take high school heart- G “Lorelei,” and it’s a one-two Volume Two, is a continuation : What was it like filming scenes with nudity? choly power ballads, but this break all that seriously. It’s all CD: There were one too many dudes involved. Cordry’s ass — punch. Even if the switch from of the charming, ‘60s-inspired mediocre release won’t earn good fun, but both musicians man, every time he’s nude on camera, he’s flexing, sometimes guitar verse to stirring chorus sound the duo perfected on them an encore. are certainly past the puberty- making a T. But they put flesh-colored socks over your penis. is predictable, Meine’s smooth their debut, which proves to Opener “Raised on Rock” ridden stages of young love. CR: They didn’t have any to fit me … tenor sets the track soaring. be a blessing and a curse. The reduces the band to a 4/4 That’s not to say the album G: Did you guys know each other before? It’s only a flash flood of breezy tunes of this collabora- beat-machine trying for doesn’t offer the perfect CD: We met at the table reading. I met Cusack at a dinner quality, though. The rest of tion are unabashedly fun, but garage-rock brashness, and soundtrack to a California before the movie. Sting is crammed with trying- on repeat they’re a lot less vocalist Klaus Meine’s trips summer. M. Ward’s country- CR: Congratulations! too-hard lyrics written to fit charming. over himself trying for vocal tinged guitar and Deschanel’s G: There were quite a few smart lines — did you ad-lib any of predictable rhyme schemes. Deschanel is mostly to complexity. Despite attempts saccharine croon prove to them? After years of hitting with blame, as Ward seems content at resurrecting bad-boy glory be an endearing, albeit tired CR: Chevy Chase got to do whatever he wanted, because he’s hurricane force, the Scorpions in the shadows, tinkering in nostalgia, the band never combination. Nonetheless, the Chevy Chase. appear to have fizzled into a the album’s background. In the transcends Bon Jovi wanna- album still exudes the expect- CD: The script changes a lot, and eventually we just say, “Fuck bunch of hot air. spotlight, Deschanel’s quaint sleaze. As for the power bal- ed twinkly charm. the pages!” —Matthew Pecot voice doesn’t have the emo- CR lads, well, there’s only so much Associate Hiatus Editor —Arielle Sallai : Steve Pink is one of the best directors I’ve worked with. tional range to create moving Staff Writer We’ll be like, “What if we did this?” And he’s like, “Yeah!” And it’s like, “BAM! It’s in the trailer!” G: So, Craig, you sing all the time on “The Office,” and your TRACKREVIEWS character in this film does as well. Is music your first love? CR: Music is my first love. I grew up playing in church and at ‘Contra Mantra’ ‘Crash Years’ recitals. My band Nasty Delicious plays in the movie, too. 7 7 G: Did you have any problems while filming? Army of the Pharaohs The New Pornographers CD : Being outside when it’s that cold is rough. ENEMY SOIL/ BABYGRANDE MATADOR CR: Yeah, I had my first sinus infection. 10 10 CD: I had to go to the chiropractor after falling down the mountain. ow many artists mob lyrically, spitting bars on the fter the restrained lulls the opening and close of the CR: In the last scene, we had to be in the hot tub for two days, the stage with three state of hip-hop and the rise of present in their last song. Coupled with jingling and I was really hungover. or eight microphone- the underground. Starting out album, Challengers, The bells and infectious whistles, CD H A : We talk a lot about the guys who aren’t here. … You’re toting homies and nothing with just a break beat, the piece New Pornographers try to it’s reminiscent of their earlier probably thinking, are you guys screwing with us? interesting to say? But when a gets super thick as DC the Midi prove they can come back from work, which will have long- CR: That’s what she said. super group of musicians who Alien layers haunting piano the lucrative trough of their time fans in a tizzy. Case G: So what’s next for you guys in your careers? CD: I’ve got this new movie called “Kick Ass” that’s coming are all on point collaborate, and guitar samples, matching bygone pop wave. Neko Case’s and company captivate like a out, plus a film called “1,000 Words” with Eddie Murphy. it can be beautiful. Army of the serious tone of the verses. joyful vocals, backed by the multi-car pileup, but you’ll be CR: I’ve got “Shrek 4,” “Father of Invention” with Kevin the Pharaoh’s crew of East Raw vocal scratches help the finely-tuned instrumentation, swaying with a smile rather Spacey, and I’m doing more of “The Office” and touring with Coast underground MCs — artists’ message sink in as the harmoniously lace up latest than rubber-necking with a my band. assembled by Jedi Mind Trick’s beat rides out. single “Crash Years”. The grimace. G: Why should people see this movie? Vinnie Paz — present a diverse — Janani Sridharan pairing of drums and low- — Andrew Tieu CD: It’s … funny? sound but stay connected Senior Staff Writer toned strings is entrancing at Staff Writer CZZYhdbZ $$ fj^X`XVh]4 MENU “Ed the Brain” 5 School Daddy mascot 55 PERSONAL 1-TOPPING PIZZA L=DÉH OF YOUR CHOICE CALZONE HAM CLUB, HERO, NDJG VEGGIE OR RT SANDWICH (includes bag of chips) 9699N4 SPAGHETTI WITH MARINARA SAUCE Now you can get big-time cash for your papers, (includes garlic bread) lecture notes – even copies of last year’s tests! PIZZATATOES To find out how, just go to: ALL MENU ITEMS INCLUDE A FOUNTAIN DRINK! ngbo^klbmr\^gm^kl'n\l]'^]n HIATUS THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 THE UCSD GUARDIAN13 ‘Hulk’ Director Dons Toga FESTIVALPREVIEW Can a Dance Party ▶ TITANS, MYVTWHNL that raises the question if Matt Damon didn’t of why Worthington is so Save the Che? know how to act. good at mounting winged Revellution ▶ RAILS, MYVTWHNL To make things worse, fictional creatures. But the first 15 minutes of there’s just enough myth — DESTROY ALL POLITICIAN”), "9 !2)%,,% 3!,,!) s 34!&& 72)4%2 the film are comprised in “Titans” to create its the Che never gets preachy, even when of foreshadow overkill. own unique story with a T he birth of Revellution — Revelle’s first-ever music festival — has been decidedly under one of the volunteers brings a bag of Without a booming intro touch of campy action, the radar. So under the radar, in fact, that most people don’t know it exists. Add a rapidly Cheetos to the weekly meeting. or scrolling text to set the which is all we need to sit approaching April 1 concert date, and one begins to speculate that Revellution may just be a grand, It’s hippie heaven, punk paradise, and scene, we find ourselves back and enjoy. misguided hoax. However, with a lineup finally released, there is now a bit more evidence that this vegan nirvana — and it’s open to anyone. wondering why these stu- That’s not to say the thing might actually be happening. Headliners Story of the Year and Terrible Things will take the It’s just that no one thinks to go there. pid 3-D glasses are rest- film is without fault. stage on Thursday to prove that maybe — just maybe — Revelle can rage with the best of them. OK, that’s a purposely melodramatic ing on our noses at all. Sticklers for Greek statement — the turnout is jumpier Fortunately, the next mythology will find dis- than 1938 Poland, but the Che has hour provides a signifi- crepancies in the myths; Terrible enough big nights so that core volunteer cant degree of relief. Who for example, the character Gregory Prout is confident that it’ll be knows what director Io claims a god made her financially stable next year, despite the Louis Leterrier (“The immortal as a punish- Things theft of ten grand in sound equipment Incredible Hulk”) started ment, when she should Terrible Things is a hodge- last summer. smoking, but the story of have turned into a cow. podge crew of Warped Tour For most UCSD students, though, Perseus — the unwilling However, it’s not hard to that melodrama might as well be true. veterans featuring Fred demigod who must pre- see why Gemma Arterton Mascherino (ex-Taking Ask what they think of the Che, and vent his uncle Hades from would have had problems Back Sunday, The Color you’ll get responses like that of grad stu- destroying the human emoting from the CGI Fred), Andy Jackson (Hot dent Yana Morgulis. race and conquering the form of a talking quad- Rod Circuit), Steve Lucarelli “It looks interesting,” Morgulis said. world — is surprisingly ruped, so that one can be (ex-Once Nothing) and Josh “I’d go there if something was happen- captivating. It sounds like overlooked for the sake of Eppard (ex-Coheed And ing, but I thought it was boarded up.” the plot to a half-baked the story. Cambria). The group doesn’t For reference, the Che was closed for children’s movie, but Of course, the major stray too far from the decid- two months because of insurance snafus “Titans” is actually quite blockbuster contains edly pop-punk and/or sounds back in Winter Quarter 2009. enthralling, and not in the more than its share produced by their previous You’d think the Che’s volunteers horrific train-wreck way of cheese, as lines like bands, but don’t pee yourself never thought of posting flyers in the you might expect. “Release the Kraken!” Muir College quad. But there is, in fact, of the waiting eagerly for any Taking How it remains and “Tame your storm!” Story Year Back Sunday wails or Coheed outreach going on — just on a small appealing until the end are delivered in the scale. Marshall College senior and core Perhaps best known for their 2004 breakthrough hit and Cambria prog solos; no, credits is the great mys- utmost seriousness — these guys keep it simple. It’s volunteer Alice Nash will be tabling at tery. After all, it’s a “Lord making for the best “Until the Day I Die,” Story of the Year is determined Admit Day next Saturday, trying to get to tear out your eardrums come Thursday. Along with all catchy choruses, three- of the Rings” quest set mindless fun since the chord guitar and deeply emo- some pre-frosh blood back into the Che. in the location of “Troy,” crotch shot in “LOTR.” openers Quietdrive, the unabashedly screamo five- There’s even some who choose to piece demonstrates the festival organizers’ apparent tional vocals that make you with a villain who looks The film’s only serious tear up a little bit when things reach out to the Che. Jerry Chai, Revelle like Voldemort’s twin and flaw is that it’s not wor- goal to create UCSD’s very own mini Warped Tour. College sophomore and member of the Story of the Year’s raucous lyrics and heavy break- get deep. The band manages Liam Neeson as Zeus. But thy of 3-D. There are no to sound like a combination of Deejays and Vinylphiles Club, is hoping for some reason, all those overly exciting graphics downs call for more fist-pumping than dancing, but to organize a dance party at the Che ( that’s not to say the band strays from melody. As their the Foo Fighters prototypical contrary elements come nor any obnoxious ones, modern rock and the tradi- and said the collective’s volunteers have together to make a piece- for that matter). But if explosive choruses surely prove, the guys have always been open to the idea. The DVC draws had an ear for pop. Expect boisterous sing-alongs tional emo of Sunny Day Real meal film that reflects you’ve got itch for ancient Estate. With an unexpected about 25 times the Che’s capacity to the better qualities in its Greece, this one’s pure and pushy crowds at the this installment of the band’s Let’s Bounce every year, and if the sold- notoriously energetic live performance record. They spring release date for their inspirations. gold; just take my advice debut LP, look forward to the out success of the Non-Sexist Dances is Look out for one and save yourself the $3 will most likely spotlight tracks from their February any indication, the Che should probably release The Constant — another loud, angry disc in band throwing down some hilarious “Avatar” parallel extra — who wants to be new head-bobbers at the show. expect the fire marshal to drop by. after another, as Perseus a four-eyed loser for no the band’s nearly one-note repertoire. With any luck, some UCSD students rides Pegasus in a scene good reason? will make a habit of doing the same. 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Call 1-800-722-4791 (4/26) Summer Day Camp Jobs : San Fernando & Conejo Valleys. Counselors, Lifeguards, And Find the Sudoku solutions in this Monday's Classifieds Page FOR UCSD STAFF AND STUDENTS FREEONLINE CLASSIFIEDS IN THE GUARDIAN Add your classified in PRINT: $5 for 30 words per issue UCSDGUARDIAN.CAMPUSAVE.COM SPORTS THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 THE UCSD GUARDIAN 15 American League: Home of Big Bankrolls and Heavy Hitters ▶ AL, MYVTWHNL ing the field, but ace pitcher Justin Last season’s AL Wild Card provide an addictive, intoxicat- Verlander’s erratic performance the winners, the Boston Red Sox, roll ing rush. Now that I’ve gotten the past few seasons is a big problem. in from spring training after land- obligatory joke about Rangers The Cleveland Indians have ing the offseason’s top pitching manager Ron Washington’s positive heartthrob Grady Sizemore roam- free agent, John Lackey. Boston cocaine test out of the way, I’ll tell ing center field and the young will hope this makes up for losing you why this team could make its power of firstbaseman Matt their the top offensive free agent first playoff appearance since 1999 LaPorta, but with Jake Westbrook of 2009 in left fielder Jason Bay. — even with a druggie leader. Ian as their Opening Day start- A pitching lineup of Lackey, Jon Kinsler might be the best second ing pitcher, baseball in October Lester, Josh Beckett and Dice-K is baseman not named Chase, and remains a dream for the Tribe. dangerous any day of the week, and right fielder Nelson Cruz is still one And except for reigning Cy with Jonathan Papelbon closing out of baseball’s best-kept secrets. If Young winner Zach Greinke, the games, the boys from Beantown are starting pitcher Rich Harden pulls Kansas City Royals have little to looking solid. out even half his uninjured poten- offer baseball fans — or their AL Only a few years removed from tial, the Rangers could surprise a competition. the dredges of professional baseball, lot of people. My Predictions the Tampa Bay Rays have quickly My Predictions Division champ: Minnesota Twins built themselves into a competitive Division champ: Seattle Mariners In the hunt: Detroit Tigers organization. Their early season In the hunt: Los Angeles Angels of Fantasy sleeper: Max Scherzer, success will determine whether or Anaheim Detroit Tigers starting pitcher not their two star players — out- Fantasy sleeper: Scott Feldman, Story to follow: Ozzie Guillen’s fielder B.J. Upton and first baseman Texas Rangers Starting Pitcher Twitter account Carlos Pena — will be signed to Story to watch: If Ron Washington contract extensions or traded off at will continue to conjure Rick James. 3) American League East July’s trading deadline. Following their unparalleled Look for young pitching phe- 2) American League Central 27th World Series championship, nom David Price to have a breakout No AL Central team has made it the New York Yankees somehow season and cement himself as one to the World Series since the White managed to shed payroll while of the premier left-handed pitchers Sox won it all in 2005, and I don’t improving their team. Gone are in baseball. think that’s about to change this Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui My predictions season. Each of the five teams has (and their bulging contracts), and Division champ: New York Yankees something great going for it, but here to stay are outfielders Curtis In the hunt: Boston Red Sox not one has enough to push it over Granderson and Randy Winn, Fantasy sleeper: Brian Matusz, the top. infielder/DH Nick Johnson and Baltimore Orioles starting pitcher The Twins signed local hero and starting pitcher Javier Vazquez. (and University of San Diego alum) We keep UCSD rolling... catcher Joe Mauer to a staggering Yankees general manager Brian Story to follow: How many games eight-year, $184-million contract Cashman should be credited for will Kate Hudson show up to at Now Selling SECTOR 9 extension, but are hurt by the loss overseeing an offseason that has Yankee Stadium to root for her Skateboards! Center n Future e of All-Star closer Joe Nathan to sea- Mye squeeze, Alex Rodriguez? P414 turned the defending champs into Music P416 Mandeville La Center Building Hall rs Sixth Drive Parking Mandeville Internation Office College P201 Center Center P413 Gilman son-ending Tommy John surgery a more streamlined club — one Thus concludes this year’s edi- P408 Parking ne Structure Muir Student P406 College Center Gilman Drive P601 on his throwing elbow. that now has more bench depth tion of my MLB preseason predic- P602 P114 P113 P112 School of Bike Shop Medicine The White Sox have the insane and cost efficiency. No matter tions. So tune in this Sunday for P607 brilliance of manager Ozzie how good A-Rod might be, I will Opening Day 2010, pour yourself Guillen, but cannot win by relying always hate baseball’s richest and a frosty beverage and practice your >MDDK=JNA;=J=H9AJK@GH$H9JLK$9F<9;;=KKGJA=K on an outfield of MLB rejects like cockiest player. Mark Teixeira and bleacher-bum taunts, because we 9ml`gjar]\JYd]a_`$C@KYf\GjZ]YZa[q[d]\]Yd]j& Alex Rios, Juan Pierre and Andruw CC Sabathia, on the other hand, have 162 glorious games ahead of Jones. seem like good guys that play hard us. @gmjk2Egf%>ja21Ye%-he The Tigers could make a run and stay humble, so I guess not all Oh, and just in case you at the division now that Johnny members of the Evil Empire have weren’t quite sure yet, I think Alex Zac]k`gh&m[k\&]\m0-0&-+,&,*/1 Damon’s re-grown beard is roam- fully crossed over to the dark side. Rodriguez is a douche. universitycenters.ucsd.edu Historic Win Streak Establishes Tritons As Nation’s Best Camp ▶ BASBEBALL, MYVTWHNL baseball is, and the average team else in the nation.” Counselors 12-3 victory to seal the series sweep. doesn’t spend enough time work- Kehoe says the team’s success is Senior first baseman Brandon ing on it. Physically, it’s exhausting. rooted in the players’ work ethic. Needed! Gregorich went three-for-four with It was pretty hot in Pomona, and “The mentality we have is that two doubles, two runs and two runs I definitely didn’t cruise through we may not have the most talent in Outpost Summer Camps is a summer day camp located in batted in (RBI), while junior sec- that game. I didn’t have my best the nation, but we have outworked ond basemen Blake Tagmyer added stuff, and had to battle my way everyone else,” Kehoe said. “We play Rancho Peñasquitos serving children from ages 3 to 14 three RBIs and two runs. They con- out of some jams I put myself in. teams that we know haven’t worked years old! tinued to eat up Seawolves pitching Mentally, I keep telling myself out as hard as we have — and that, in We are looking for college students who are responsible until the ninth inning. there, ‘They will not beat me.’ I hate turn, makes us feel we deserve it and adventurous with a lot of enthusiasm for making Sonoma dropped to 9-13, 2-10 in to lose.” more. Nineteen straight is a prod- CCAA play. Triton Ballpark provided no ref- uct of knowing we are better than camp fun! Apply online today! Prior to the series against Cal uge for Pomona. They were demol- everyone else, outworking the other Come Join the Adventure! Poly Pomona, UCSD hosted Cal ished 11-0 in game three thanks to team and trusting our preparation State San Marcos in a non confer- a scoreless seven-inning effort out — nothing more.” ence game on March 22, coming out of senior pitcher Kirby St. John and Thus far, the season’s success has Have a question, call us: (858) 842-4900 on top 8-4. an offensive show by junior second been attributed to consistency in Junior catcher Kellen Lee deliv- baseman Blake Tagmyer. every area of play: the rotation, Go online: www.outpostsummercamps.com ered a three-hit game, including Tagmyer opened the game with a lineup, bullpen and bench. a home run and three RBIs. The three-RBI double in the first inning At the top of the rotation, Tritons sent out nine different pitch- and a three-run home run in the Rossman and junior right-hander ULTRAZONE — The Ultimate Laser Adventure ers in the game to keep their arms second. His six RBIs and St. John’s Tim Shibuya have served as an fresh for league play. impressive pitching was too much outstanding 1-2 punch. Rossman In a home-and-home series — in for the Broncos to handle, and the now stands 6-0 with a 2.17 Earned HUGE UP TO 36 MULTI-LEVEL which each team plays host for two Tritons won easily. Run Average (ERA), while Shibuya PLAYERS PER GAME of four series games — the Tritons The final game in the series was stands at 7-0 with a 2.22 ERA. ARENA swept Cal Poly Pomona in back- highlighted by a gutsy performance Junior designated hitter Aaron UCSD GROUP to-back matchups in Pomona on from Knudson, who threw over five Bauman leads the Triton offense EVENT DISCOUNT March 25 and March 26. innings while allowing four hits and with a .444 batting average and an The Tritons then won both two earned runs. astonishing .603 on-base percent- games in a doubleheader at Triton Junior outfielder Kyle Saul was age. Gregorich leads the team with Ballpark on March 27 to complete one at-bat short of the natural cycle, an impressive 46 RBI so far this the four-game sweep. going 3-3; Kehoe added a home run; season. Shibuya dominated off the and Cal Poly Pomona fell to 17-16 The Tritons will now set their mound once again for the Tritons in overall and 9-11 in CCAA action. sights on Cal State San Bernadino, game one, coasting through seven With their series sweep of Cal working to keep the streak alive in innings conceding just one earned Poly Pomona, the Tritons surpassed another home-and-home series this run. UCSD’s school record of 16 con- weekend. The Coyotes are currently Kehoe provided three RBIs and secutive wins, pushing their streak 16-10 overall and 15-9 in CCAA senior shortstop Vance Albitz added to 19 games. play. three hits, allowing UCSD to ease While the No. 1 ranking earned “No one talks about the fact that LL into a 7-3 win. the Tritons some respect, Kehoe we have won 19 straight,” Rossman WI Rossman pitched all nine innings said expectations will only rise. said. “Sure, we all know it, but the AME THATFE! to go the distance in game two, “The No. 1 ranking is more of important thing is that we are only HE G allowing two unearned runs on five a recognition thing than anything,” focused on the future and getting IS T YOUR LI hits. Kehoe said. “The rankings really better. We talk about taking things THIS CHANGE The complete game effort was don’t mean anything besides the one game, one inning and one out at LATE NIGHT PARTY AREA just enough for a 5-2 victory –one fact that we are getting some respect a time. That keeps us in the present AT THE ZONE TO 120 GUESTS that Rossman said was mentally and nationally. We know we deserve the and doesn’t allow us to get caught Open Until 2am physically taxing. No. 1 ranking because we know we up in external hype that is out of Fri. & Sat. “We talk about the mental game are the best team in the country, our control.” ULTRAZONE 3146 Sports Arena Blvd. P San Diego, CA a lot, and it’s something we take but it doesn’t change the way we go One Block East of SD Sports Arena! Readers can contact Cameron Tillisch pride in,” Rossman said. “The aver- about things at all. We still show up (619) 221-0100 P www.ultrazonesandiego.com age fan doesn’t realize how mental every day and outwork everyone at [email protected]. 16 THE UCSD GUARDIAN THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010 WWW.UCSDGUARDIAN.ORG/SPORTS NUMBER CRUNCHER HOTCORNER KIRSTEN BATES | W. WATER POLO 68 The sophomore cannot seem to stop scoring this season, The score that UCSD junior golfer Richard Morris netting 12 times in UCSD’s four wins at the Cal State shot in the final round of the Grand Canyon Bakersfield Roadruner Invitational from March 27 Thunderbird Invitational on March 30. SPORTSCONTACT THE EDITOR: [email protected] to March 28. Purists Beware: In the AL, Money Talks and DHs Walk Chart Toppers espite my lifelong hatred of the American League and The UCSD baseball team earns the No. 1 ranking in Division-II, thanks to a D its mission to ruin base- ball via the designated hitter, Alex momentum that senior pitcher Matt Rossman attributes to the team’s “mental game.” Rodriguez and the city of Anaheim, I have to admit that sometimes, it’s not so bad. Over the past couple of years, it has produced a quality brand of ball that even we National League-purists can stomach. Teams like the Tampa Bay Rays, the Minnesota Twins and the Texas Rangers are succeeding by relying on young, homegrown talent that cut the big boys in New York and Boston down to size. Blanc on JAKE BLANC Base [email protected] So it is with slightly less disdain than normal that I give my predic- tions for the 2010 American League baseball season. 1) American League West For the first time in recent memory, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (a constant flame to my AL-fueled anger) will not start the season as division favorites. Losing ace pitcher John Lackey to the Red Sox leaves the Halos’ rotation in the hands of the goldie-locked Jered Weaver and Scott Kazmir, who has yet to live up to his Tampa Bay glory days after being traded to Los Angeles last season. The addition of World Series MVP Hideki Matsui at designated hitter to complement Kendry Morales and Torii Hunter will keep their offensive attack scary as ever, but in the AL’s most exciting division, they just might not be enough. The Angels should be espe- cially wary, considering the Seattle JOHN HANACEK/GUARDIAN FILE Mariners are baseball’s most improved team after an offseason that saw them add ex-Phillies ace Cliff Lee and ex-Angels leadoff By Cameron Tillisch record to 28-3 overall and 18-2 in California much room for error. They made easy work man Chone Figgins to their ranks. Senior Staff Writer Collegiate Athletic Association play. of the Seawolves on an effective balance of With Lee and King Felix Hernandez But according to senior pitcher Matt pitching and offense, earning another four BASEBALL at the top of the rotation, the — Already having amassed Rossman, the No. 1 spot and record win victories to tack to their last 15. Mariners will have the best one-two a school-record 19-game winning streak streak hasn’t gone to the players’ heads. In the opener, junior right-hander Tim punch in the league and will thrive since their Feb. 19 loss to Chico State Rossman emphasized that the team must Shibuya was nearly unhittable, throwing off the spacious, pitching-friendly University, the UCSD baseball team can hold onto its humility throughout the sea- eight innings of two-hit ball. UCSD cruised outfield of Safeco Field. If manager now add the nation’s No. 1 ranking to its son. to a 10-2 win behind Shibuya’s arm, and Don Wakamatsu and the ageless growing list of accolades in 2010. “The No.1 ranking is cool,” Rossman followed with solid pitching efforts from Ken Griffey Jr. can help newly The Tritons swept their series against said. “It’s an honor, and we have earned it. Rossman and junior right-hander Guido acquired outfielder Milton Bradley Cal State Sonoma State University from Our success and recognition is providing Knudson to take games two and three by find inner peace, the 2010 Mariners March 12 to March 14 to earn the No. even more motivation for us. We aren’t scores of 9-7 and 4-3. might bring Seattle its first-ever AL 1 ranking, then continued to dominate satisfied with where we’re at, and know Game four of the series saw an offensive pennant. another four-game series against Cal Poly that we still have things to improve upon.” outburst, as UCSD exploded for 15 hits in a Similarly, watching this year’s Pomona over spring break between March In a four-game home stand against Texas Rangers perform will surely 25 and March 27. They improved their Sonoma State, the Tritons did not leave See BASEBALL, page 15 See AL, page 15 TURF WAR Guardian photo editor Erik Jepsen witnessed the U.S. women’s soccer team score a 3-0 victory over Mexico on March 28 in a friendly international match at Torero Stadium on the University of San Diego campus. ERIK JEPSEN/GUARDIAN