NEWCASTLE UNIVERSITY SUBSCRIPTION DRAW 351 win* a dozen cant of beer donated by Vaux 240wlna an LP or tape (value £6) donated by Breweries. Volume Recordt, Ridley Place. 864wina lunch for two (value £5) donated by the 413 wina 2 complimentary ticketa donated by the Barley Mow, Sand gate Tyneside Cineme, Pilgrim Street. 63 wina 2 complimentary tickets donated by the Gulbenklan Studio (by arrangement). 992 wins 2 complimentary ticketa donated by 477 wine 2 complimentary tickets donated by The Studio, New Bridge Street (by errangement). Tyne Theatre Co. (by errangement). 300 wina 2 free meala (value £5) donated by 711 wina a £5 voucher doneted by Kard Bar of Wimpy, Northumberland Street. Croat Street 140 wina a 12" aingle donated by R.P.M. Records, 1027 wina a £5 voucher doneted by Hip, Cross Level 5. Street. 189 wine two free tickete donated by Cannon a bottle of wine donated by Grantaof Cineme, Weatgete Roed. 506 wln t a Sunday Lunch for two, donated by 591 wina 2 free tickets to a Union Event. (See Sid. Luckies Comer Bar, S t Mary's Place. 1051 wlnt dinner for two (veluedO) donated by 941 wina film developed 1 hour aervice by Joe Rigatonlea, St. Mary'a Place East. c o u NEWCASTLE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY Quickpice, 37 Nelton Street PRIZES TO BE COLLECTED BY MONDAY STUDENT NE\ 22/2/88 _____Li p i i No. 779 Price 15p Thursday, 18th February, 1988 NOT TO BE REMOVED IN THIS ISSUE P.2 EXECUTIVE NEWS P.3 BACKLASH PERSONALS P.4

TOThe Union could be left floundering QUIT? in a state of decisions and possibly prey to out­ movers in the allegedly secret plan business which should be dealt with LETTERS leaderless confusion if a move to oust Sabbatical side interference from University to sell off the Travel Bureau and that through Union Council, nor should it Senate. they must be removed from office. be about the future of individual Secretary Clive Parry and Treasurer Sam Bousfield “The legal implications of it would "The grounds on which I'm no- sabbaticals." succeeds. be horrendous” said President confidenced are ludicrous" said P.5/6 Chris Ford. "There would be very Sam Bousfield. "It is bizarre that The rest of the full time members needing a simple majority to kick out severe problems in the running of having been to the same meetings ARTS of Exec will resign in support if their Sam and Clive. the Union, for instance there would as Mark we can have such diverse STOP PRESS! two colleagues are dismissed. In an In a show of solidarity not seen be no-one to sign cheques as Sam views of the outcome." The no-confidence motion Emergency General Meeting sche­ amongst Executives for many and I are the sole signatories." President Chris Ford supported against Sam Bousfield and P.7 duled for last Tuesday a motion was years, the remaining four full-time As far as the actual reasons for this statement. "The thought that Clive Parry at Tuesday's presented by Mark Tweedale which Sabbaticals have pleged to resign if Clive and Sam's problems go it is anyone on Level 6 has got time to Emergency General Meeting if passed would lead to a vote of no this almost unprecedented attack their involvement with the issues dream up such a plot is completely was rejected by a large major­ FASHION confidence being passed in the goes through, several part-time surrounding the Travel Bureau that out of touch with reality." However ity. Thus Exec will not be aforementioned Sabbaticals over Exec members will also step down has incurred the wrath of Mark he was not totally against discus­ resigning en-masse and their role in the continuing Travel in protest. Tweedale, the mover behind Tues­ sions concerning the Travel Bureau. Courier readers can sleep safe P.8 Bureau controversy; under the con­ The net result of such a situation day’s meeting. Mark feels a grave "This EGM should be about the in the knowledge that the stitution a referendum would have would be a Student Union left in a abuse of power has taken place, future of the Travel Bureau as a Union will not be abandoned SPORT to be held to decide the issue. state of limbo, unable to make any that Clive and Sam were the prime service not about Staff Personal by our adored leaders. 'INDEPENDENTS' SWEEP EXEC Anne-Marie Burnham was To’Cries of "I never knew he A gale has blown the Athletic elected as deputy president could type" Mark Glover was Union's way in the shape of last week, in case you hadn't elected Union Secretary for rip-roaring Gail Moir. As she next year. noticed. This third year Bio­ said "she'll take the A.U. by Mark is a third year mathe­ chemist, famed during her storm". matician who "enjoys a chal­ campaign for her 'Big Assets', In her manifesto she said lenge ... wants to change and catch word 'up your bum' she didn't want to bore us with things" and "meet people". has, in her own words 'bags of He is another volatile political her sporting activity — she enthusiasm'. character wjio doesn't "like didn't want to but... She's a She will no doubt bring a student campaigns on a purely solid lass as bouncy as her breath of fresh air to the musty party political basis". This is basket ball only a lot better atmosphere of Level 6. Anne- completely consistent with his formed. Marie's 'original' election ideology since he is a m em ber. Her heart is big and she has approach of 'vote for me I have of the Liberal party and hence a genuine enthusiasm for absolutely no experience' was ENTS has no party allegiance. sport, and the A.U. and is In his role as Secretary he looking to protect the A.U. not quite a fair reflection on Mike Newman; a final year will be dealing with adminis­ budget. So enthusiastic is she her abilities. She has put in an politics/philosophy student. Well, next year you lucky tration and catering and he will TREAS about sport she refuses to use appearance in the SCAN shop, Mike Newman; ents-boy people have been encum­ attempt to make the Union a bered with wonderful Rob but more importantly prom­ extraordinaire. Mike New­ As his manifesto stated "I've the stairs to Level 6. Instead man; leader of the baseball safer place. He is experienced done a bit" and now he's all Williams as Union President ises to keep her big 'eyes she climbs the outside of the hat, '501' brigade. This is the in Union matters and was an set to do a bit more. (steady at the back there). open' and remain 'Accessible, Union building borrowing He leads an illustrious cast man who you have voted to active member of Freshers' A final year Geology stu­ dent (Rocks!) Jem Axford equipment off the Moun­ of agitating and radical reac­ Approachable and Account­ get first crack at the Week in his first year, going to Freshers. Instead of spend­ stood for Treasurer taineering Club and entering tionaries who comprise our able’ next year. all the gigs. executive apparent, the ing next year fooling around "because my calculator still through the A.U. office win­ Nick Gates All the best Mark. most left wing member of with barnyard animals the works". With the Union hav­ dow. Dominic Nutt ing a £2m turnover and 160 which is Mike 'Entz' New­ perpetual personification of Dominic Nutt man. a man who used his boxer staff Jem's fingers will be His campaign funding shorts to get where he is clasped to the purse strings aroused interest whilst use today (where?) will be and he sees the main chal­ of a megaphone initiated an storming the corridors of lenges as; fire regulations, appeal against his victory power on Level 6. Mike refurbishing and new since it was feared he was promises only to 'be easy' on kitchen equipment. afforded help from a local a 'Sunday morning' but He (surprise) stood as an party organisation. Yet this that's not what we've heard. independent. He also has a is the man whose campaign To be fair, Mike's ideas for beard, which is nice. Let's revolved around taking poli­ next year are refreshing hope he truly does realise tics out of the Union — a (even lip smacking), he is the importance of giving tricky business since we are well qualified and dedi­ people a fair hearing for legally defined as a 'political cated. Though it hardly their budget claims, as the union'. This is the man seems to herald a new question of Union finance who'd take sand out of the image, Mike says "The black (o r th e lack of them) desert and do a good job too. hat, like God, is dead". As becomes increasingly perti­ The only useful thing you the campaign stipulated; it nent. can do with sand is build was an offer we could not To quote him "I think sand castles in the air. He's a refuse, and didn't, but will Sam's done a good job" and dedicated man, good luck to he really get Madonna next "we should do a good job him for next year. year? together". Good job too. A.U. PRES . PRES Clemency Firth SEC Clemency Firth Dominic Nutt NOW OPEN AT CROSS STREET opposite Flip of Hollywood NEW SEW ON PATCHES include - 6 'D a c f t Anthrax • Beastie Boys # Cinderella • Def Jam • Iron Maiden • Megadeth • Metallica • Led Zeppelin # Tom Cat • Top Gun # KARD BAR Whitesnake • Pink Floyd • 1 0 -5 COURIER Thursday, 18th February, 1988 M l FTP 91 II II II nllli Lin lnhiil liiiilll lllll

Bill and he said he would write an open letter to President Chris Ford, on the issue, for publication HARMONY in Courier. On the Governments "Clause 28” legislation. Amid the currant furore over issues es Sarah Bishop expressed concern over any CUTS, CUTS, CUTS fsr reaching as the Education Reform possible dissertations or projects that might Bill, Clause 28 end the Poll Tex the involve discussions of homosexuality or KENT-EXCLUSIVE uerterly meeting of the Steff Student lesbianism, that would indirectly be funded by the local authority and thus possibly illegal. Som m ittee (e body mode up ofte n steff Northern Universities are to face Higher Education Minister, Mr. Robert With over eight years experience as a university chaplain in end ten student) convened lest Professor Martin also promised to let the CVPC further cuts in Government Jackson, announced the allocations to Thursday in the Union. know of student anxiety regarding the Poll Tax London, Bruce Kent, Chair of CND and general activist in a variety and an early day motion in the House of grants next year under spending Deputy President Sarah Bishop took the individual establishments out of the total of of causes, returned to academic surroudings last week when he Commons calling for the abolition of NUS's opportunity to seek assurance from Vice plans announced last week. £1,574m he is giving out nationally in gave a lecture at the Curtis Auditorium on the subject of 'Faith in Chancellor Professor Laurence Martin about "closed shop!'. It was also announced that the Senate a body Durham University's funding is 1988-9. .these issues and the Committee of Vice the Media'. with members from each faculty of the University to remain at a standstill, while Chancellor’s attitude to them. The basic grant to Durham next year is The lecture began with an introductory statement by Kent, leading the way for is to be enlarged from 44 to 58 members, With regard to the Education Reform Bill the Newcastle's is to rise by only to be £17.728m. just down on £17.730m the rest of the talk: "10 years ago I could have claimed complete faith in the media, V.C. confirmed that Committee were against the including one extra student Sarah Bishop said that it had been decided that this student would 1.3 p.c. - both are cuts in real this year. Newcastle will receive but nowadays. I don't have faith. The media isn't and can't be neutral.", he be a postgraduate. * Stephen Silk terms. £33.238m. a 1.3 p.c. increase on this said. . year's £32.790m. Recalling numerous "disgraceful episodes" over the past 6-7 years, where he PARIS Professor Laurence Martin, Vice- believed gross media inaccuracies had taken place. Kent suggested that such What are you doing for CAW? Chancellor of Newcastle University said instances arose, all too frequently, for two main reasons; firstly, due to deliberate Nothing? Well, now's your chance. resignedly: "When the so-called cuts misrepresentation by journalists and secondly, due to the unwillingness of The CAW committee are organising came we knew that the increase for three reporters "to look at the framework of things". a sponsored hitch on Friday 4th TRIVIAL PURSUITS or four years would be less than inflation. It Having been the victim of media misconduct on seyeral occasions, Kent March, starting from the Union seems we are in a situation of continued enlightened the audience to the devious methods used by some 'reporters' to Building at 9am. financial stringency." obtain the all important headline. The most poignant occasion being the time a There will be cash prizes for the The number of books bought by university and college libraries Mr. Jackson said the national total cash Daily Mail reporter who, posing as a Greenham Common activist befriended Kent participants who make it to Paris in has fallen by 35% since 1981, claims a survey published on offer, £1,574m, represented an whilst he collected firewood on a campsite demonstration. After about an hour of the shortest time and for those who recently. pleasant conversation, in which both sides discussed issues of personal 8.2 p.c. rise on this year, but travel the furthest distance in 24 The survey, compiled by the Association of University Teachers, also shows importance, concerning such topics as disarmament and the media, the would-be hours. condemnation came from Mr. Giles that actual spending on books rose between 1985 and 1987. but that the Greenham campaigner parted company in a friendly manner. It wasn't until the Judging by the success of the Radice, Durham North MP and Labour’s number of individual titles bought fell by 20% over the same period. next day when "Daily Mail Reporter talks to Bruce Kent - Exclusive" appeared in event in previous years, the hitch is former education spokesman, who said An official of the AUT blamed the education cuts for this decline, and warned expected to be a big fund-raiser last week: "The Government is once again the headlines that Kent realised his mistake. that University Ubraries would soon "no longer be able to provide a proper level again. hampering the North's higher education The lecture inevitably covered the areas of nuclear disarmament and the arms of support for teaching and research." The hitch hike is open to couples institutes, which have a big role to play in race, and it was to these areas that Bruce Kent raised his objection of the All is not gloom, however. Another report, to be published later this month, unwillingness of some journalists to look at the framework of what is reported. and sponsor forms and further stimulating the economy and providing shows that students are themselves buying fewer books, but are spending Clearly appalled by the relatively small number of debates organised by the details can be obtained from the opportunities." SCAN office. "significantly more on leisure pursuits." media, for discussion on such issues of national and international importance. Kent Go on, pull your thumb out for K. McElderry Nigel Vincent believed the stringent selection procedure directed towards those who were asked charity. Sally Holder. to take part in such debates was clearly biased; "CND is rarely asked", he added. Aware of the pressure placed on journalists - and most importantly editors - by the influential ownership, together with the need to please the advertisers and make a profit, Kent still holds an optimistic view towards the media: "For the most OH NO! part the media is not corrupt," he said, "but there has to be more space given to alternative views." he stated. Nigel Vincent. "Bicycles attached to this handrail will be removed". As Britain gradually becomes a police state it is disgusting to see the University complying with Thatcherite policies and placing intimidating warnings such as this throughout the campus. BUS BLOODBATH The handrail in question is placed beside the refectory and while I Yet more minibus melodrama last week when the Fine Art examined it I met disgruntled student Department went to Liverpool. This time it was not a blind Paul Bailey, who voiced this opinion. motorist but a little hic-up with the reverse procedure. "I can see no plausible reason for this The driver in question failed to counts herself lucky to have noticed notice, being an industrious student notice the lamp-post directly behind the incident when checking through this spot gives me perfect access to the bus (a natural mistake) and the log book the next day and wishes the Library". The young man is subsequently damaged a rear light to stress that there is ’not an endless planning to organise a demon­ stration to protest against this and surrounding panelling and pit of money to dig into’ for these unprecedented attack on keen paintwork. Without checking on the increasingly common accidents. In cyclists everywhere. damage the perceptive students this particular case, insurance will Undoubtedly readers will wait with drove back to Newcastle, apparently cover some of the damage but the baited breath as the problem as to unperturbed as the ‘rear right light time honoured maxim 'no claims where to leave your bicycle unfolds to was still working’: everybody knows bonus' remains no more than a its bitter conclusion. Liverpool's on the left. distant dream. T. Hayes. Sam Bousfield (Union Treasurer) Clemency Firth

HEALTH MONTH Make an Exhibition EVENTS of Yourself... COMING-UP BE A FIRST YEAR CONFERENCE

Thursday 18th ALCOHOL FREE DRINKS STEWARD/DRIVER Debating Chamber GENERAL MEETING 1 pm Voting for a wider selection to be available in Union bars. PICK UP A FORM FROM THE PORTER'S LODGE Thursday 18th Free massage course 7-9 pm 1 st class TV Room Level 5 All women welcome (bring a towel!)

Wednesday 24th Pre-menstrual Syndrome 2 -4 pm A discussion and advice TV Room level 5 session on this often-ignored health problem. All women welcome. Return by 24th February Thursday, 18th February, 1988 COURIER imn\

NIGE, BIG GEORGE What a smashing, lovely, fantastic effort. Thanks e ll his Comredes who FRED cempalgned end voted fo r him, espe­ Neughty'e Deddy loves Neughty's cially Cemeron. mommy end wents to hug her lots end Don't forget to support your lo ts end lots. LORD JACOBOVITES - £ Revolutlonery Communist 11 NORTHCATE ST: Thunderbird 4 (muff) (M ark Reynolds F. 1 81) i | cendidete in the NUS Conference diving into the depths on Friday afternoon. • the nearest you have got to a k Delegetion Elections. RUSS - Who's that girl hanging around with 1 12 Inch probe Is your scelorulo7H■ * * ------XXf A^, George Nepler you? To the Smeller Left Hend Men; having IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT taken the woman to meet the family we are Julian Russell and Jon Jackson would like it eagerly awaiting a happy announcement (poss­ to be known that they're now young free ibly involving events in the back of the Left Hand and single, and offers will be welcomed Men Mobile). from both male and female applicants. 12.30 pm onwerds The Dreem coet V enture SHIT Bends include . . . I wonder should I move to Shropshire, it "Jesus C hrist S uperster" The Bets seems a wonderful place. Feb. 2 4 th - 27th Love in The Asylum To P hil end Sereh - we knew all along!! Love 7.30 p.m. STIRRER The Bloos Brothers 79 Brighton Grove. Newcestle Playhouse "In a free country everybody while he hides behind a Sten 'n' Wash Well done ANNE-MARIE end herd luck has to choose" as Margret cowardly faith in diplomacy. GRAHAM end NIGEL-well tried! PANAMA JAZZMEN. Dixieland Jazz. I ********************* Resonable rates - available for functions - I Hilda once harped on. This To accompany ‘dashing Bob' * JEM « dances. Tel. Blyth (0670) 361930. week's Courier finds the we have the wretched poison your edvice end support. I wish you * Would like to thenk ell 1003 voters + Union facing the aftermath of dwarf, Mark Glover, who at ell the very best In the forthcoming * end the people w ho helped * Did the NAUGHTY FLYING SCOTSMAN election fever. At the time of least had the decency to pre­ yeer( I shell miss you. I hope you * especially Cath, Katy, Vln, Eddy, * enjoy his piece of French Tart on Saturday? d o n 't feel to o le t dow n. * Margret, Hilery, Angelo, Lise, * IDid CHRISTINA oblige by giving the sultry writing you have just elected tend to be a liberal in order to Nigel ♦The Print Shop end enyone else who * Swede a massage? next year's sabbaticals, an ill- further perpetrate his insi­ * helped. Will it be a HOLME-SWEET-HOLME or a assorted group of miscreants MIKE NEWMAN - sewing his oats in a Paddy * HOLME from HOLME for ANN-MARIE? dious brand of soft Conservat­ Field Wednesday. 10th Feb. ********** 19.9% of the vote - not bad on no campaign eh I to replace this year's motley ism. Following in Clive's foot­ MIKEY. crew, and by the time you read steps, perhaps even the start All-mele Society Party et Flet 8C Ain't no Mountain high enough . . . Rickv Roed on Mondey, 22nd Febru­ Ain't no Ocean wide enougn . . . Huge em ounts o f this the small proportion of of a tradition, we have chosen ary. Bring a condom l for the "LOVE WITH PROTECTION" people that can be bothered another secretary who To everyone who helped will have elected the part tim­ MAINSTREET JAZZMEN, Mainstream Jazz. SKIERS AND WINDSURFERS couldn't say boo to a goose. For all functions - parties. Tel. Tyneside PARTY ers who are to support them. How these two imagine they 2374354. so it's at GIRLS, STAN 'N ' WASH 'Careerist hack on an ego will be able to organise and ********************* THE COOPERAGE (SID+STU-DENT), DAVE+ MILES end * HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOMINIQUE + TUESDAY, MARCH 1st BLACK HATS. trip* proclaimed a spoof man­ control public meetings is * Wish w e could be w ith you * 8.00 p.m.-1.00 a.m. Love end snogs. ifesto a few years back — many beyond me. * to celebrete. Missing you lots. * t Tickets: members 20p-Non-members 50p ^ MIKExxx a true work spoken in jest. To go with this less than university. Instead a students * A ll our love, * from the Ski Room, Tuesday and Thursday f t * Anne-Marie, Jill, Peddle, Rechel * Executive is a laugh and a half, right to self-determination lunchtimes. , ^ * BIRTHDAY ANNOUNCEMENT * dynamic duo we now have an * end Sereh xxx. * S guaranteed more leaks than A.U. president elect who must and control over their Union is ★******************** G low ie is now over th e age of The "G irls in B lo ck" may be all too willing to YOUR MOISTNESS: consent — so d o n 't hold beck ell you Henry's bucket. Dear Liza. have set the women’s move­ one of the most easily abused hot-blooded meles! Willing fools volunteering to get their kit off but the "boys from 149" are I’ve never seen anybody stick darts in lime ment back years by running a and least appreciated political far more particular. flavour jelly before - it's either magic or Happy Birthdev darling be scapegoats for the inade­ campaign seemingly based on rights they will ever be given. madness! BIG BROl love, F end K xxx quacy of the masses. Now the a 'get your tits out for the Now with the wool pulled MARK AND ROB'S, Bench Removal Service - no sensible jobs refused - Room 21 Hender- P.B. - Is it true bald men are more virile? chance to show off, attaining votes' premise, evidently well- firmly over its eyes a mere 25% Why can't RICH HALL get up in the morning?! GEORGE "M ICHAEL" B. STEWART campus character status by suited to the mentality of the of the electorate has conde­ NIGE-PLEASE, pleese, pleese! SAL. putting pictures of yourself all A.U. electorate. Frighteningly mned the Union to a year of Is ANN-MARIE Loving the Asylum? AL HAD FLU/ THEE LARGER HAND MAN would like to HE WAS IN BED, over the university is over and she is soon to be responsible guidance destined to be char­ thank all of those admirers who sent cards/gifts/ AL WA ILL, the lure of the good C.V. has for dispensing ridiculous acterised by spineless inepti­ photos etc. - The advert in the Contact Mag OR SO HE SAID. lost its appeal. amounts of money to some of tude. My sympathy goes out to obviously paid off I BUT Does RICH REDFERN'S girlfriend know about ALWAS SPIED What have we ended up with the world’s most offensive the other sabbaticals elect the two girls and the boxer shorts?? HE F**KING LIED. so far? A set of sabbaticals and undeserving people. who will have to work twice as ANDY C. elect at least 50% of whom are The election of student hard to hold things together. MARK GLOVER ********************* W ould like to th e n k e ll m y cempeign - To Peddle, Jill, Sarah, Neil, Alex, * already doomed to inept floun­ officers should be one of the For the rest I favour a purge, Heve you done envthing teem, especielly Eric, Anne, Big • Mike N, Wheels, Iggy, Debs, Clere, * dering by their inability to with no confidencing at the for CAW yet7 Dave, Dove P., Helen end Sam, Dee- ■ Katy,Mark, Dom, Phil, Deve end* most direct and relevant politi­ If not, here's your chence: stand up to anything. Rob Wil­ cal experiences of your time at earliest possible opportunity. wee, Gemett House, Labour Club - everyone else. Thenks fo r your help, * COME ON DOWN to Footbell teem, Emme, Nidge, Julien, - love end support. I owe you ell e big'*' liams stole the award for the LEEDS (& BRADFORD!!!) len, Med Deve, Eddie, Alen end sloppy kiss. * candidate with the most offen­ On . . . Set. 20 th Feb. Ted J. end all the others who helped. Love, ANN-MARIE** Coach leeves King's Welks et 9em THANKS sive supporters, a jumble of Sign up et SCAN/Porter's Lodge. spare parts, the kind of slimy EDITORIAL What have P.B. and a peanut got in common? What's happened to MILES, we miss his wets who ought to be organis­ Having been out of Newcastle for last week's Courier I was profound mastications of the English Language ing Sunday school outings. At interested to read the letter from Executive concerning our in this paper. ALAN PATTERSON least they will have all got as reporting of the Travel Bureau controversy. Upsetting as the PAT it wes HARTLEY w o rth it! (C (W.O.). cold as a witches tit stood W ould like to sey e BIG THANK-YOU DEAREST UNDA, lots of love and kisses from story must have been for those on Level 6 tw o members of Exec to ell those people who helped him. your secret admirer - J-xxx. outside the Union and will now Whose tu rn is it to buy th e chocky pein. be going down with pneumo­ actually read it before we went to press, it is interesting that Conor - OK so we're both so broke, there's nia. They were an appropriate Exec as a whole now sees fit to condemn the piece. No individual leest, those who voted for him. only one thing left to do - sell your Hugs! He elso wishes JEM ell the best for ********************* backing to a man whose member of senior staff has ever been attacked in Courier yet it w h e t's going to be e herd yeer. + THEE LEFT HAND MEN * greatest nightmare concerns seems that to merely mention the people that, let's face it, run Good luck, sit tight, end don't let the * Independent end Proud + _ It's THE BLOOS BROS. ■ 'Cook'n'chill' catering, budgets b ite ! * All over town you know where * s SPOT THE HIDDEN GIG 5 the Union is to invoke the wrath of Exec. What is the point of * Tell end Smell * S COMPETITION PART II ™ another closet Tory standing OlOBOBOBOaOBOaOBOBOBOBOBOB Q Saturday the 20th Februery m having a student 'paper if it is to be criticised every time it ■ WHIP SOCIETY - I * Giving you YOURS! * under the guise of an indepen­ ********************* S Venue perheps better known for ■ reports something that either Sabbaticals or senior manage­ | Due to popularpo| demend "BIG DICK'S" Q housing theatrical works. m dent. The university will have a O scilities w ill be extended, for e limited I P.B. - sailed or dry roasted. ment don't like. The TROPICAL RAINFOREST and the S Not a million miles for the Union. ■ field day walking all over him ■ period only!!! F438 m THE BUILDING WITH THE COPPER- £ NICK G A TES. Editor OlOBOBOBOBOHOBOBOBOBOBOBQItf AMERICAN FOOTBALLER would like to SID + H, SID + M - can anybody keep up with ~ apologise to all and sundry for their horrendous £ ______COVERED TOP.______m thisboy!______• . ______behaviour. Sorry Jon and the rest of Gosforthl COMING SOON: Running your MINE'S A PINT GUVNER! own business Today's GENERAL MEETING at 1pm in the DEBATING If you have a commercial idea, find CHAMBER concerns hie . . . out whether you can develop a business of your own through the Recent Graduates & Post THE WIDER PROVISION Graduate Enterprise Programme. Graduates in any subject can apply for a place on the Graduate OF NON ALCOHOLIC DRINKS Enterprise Proajamme. MEANWHILE... Staggering out the boozer and due to arrive in The programme comprises of a period, part residential, the Debating Chamber next Thursday at One, will learn many of the skills another GENERAL MEETING ON you need to set up your business. POLL TAX Throughout MASSIVE STONKING PILES OF the course there are expert STEAMY, SWEATY, MUCKY MAGS counsellors on hand to guide This week's CAW MAG jaunt is to LEEDS/ advise you and BRADFORD on SATURDAY - sign up at the will be working alongside young PORTER'S LODGE. To find o people with the same moreabo aims as yourself — to be their thanks for all my Valentine's you lovely ladies, I might have a own boss! job fitting you all in though. Opening time now. I'm off for a GEP, cornet swift pie and a pint mate... Laughing Boy XXX BRIE SESSION NU-NEWS Percy Building Graduate 24th Feb., 2.00p.m. Enterprise TELLING YOU Programme All enquiries to the GlElP WHERE TO GO... University Careers Office COURIER Thursday, 18th February, 1988 I iiiiiiiiiiiini

CONSERVATIVES MIDDLE CLASS FASCISTS Sir, has had the sense to close it. This letter hes been written the day after the Sabbatical Occasionally I do find the The only Government cut I mourn is elections and its purpose is to inform the students of this Union Courier amusing, especially the one that led to the closure of that they have elected a number of Right-Wing Sabbaticals. when you commission Dominic whatever mental home Mr. Nutt MBut",(yve hear you sayJ"we voted for independent candidates'* — Nutt to blow your trumpet for inhabited before being turned out on to WRONG! You elected Conservatives. You were misled and voted you (Courier 4th Feb) because the rest of us. eccordingly. people frown at your ever so One last point Mr. Nutt said that If the likes of Nigel Lowther and Alan Patterson had been able to put as much clever sarky remarks at the end there was a difference between the work into their Sabbatical campaigns as the amount of work they have done for of readers letters. 'Courier' and Viz'. This I am beginning the good of the students and the Union over the last 2yh years perhaps you would Didn't Dominic do welll He sounded to doubt: the spread of 'trendy' photos have elected a far better Executive. It is ironic that the Left candidates who were ever so important. Ohl and you must on the letters pages of such subjects as honest in their manifestos and who aren't careerist but really care about the remember that he is clever as well, vis a Sumo Wrestlers bottoms (Courier 28th Union were defeated. vis his having read all Enid Blyton's Jan) would I think feel much more at We the undersigned are not only members of Left wing groups but represent a books by four and a half and being so home in Viz'. very broad based group of people who care about the welfare of students now grown up as to see the characters she Yours etc., and in the future. We accept the democratic decisions of these elections but we created were all bourgeois white W. P. Borrett. will not sit back and do nothing. We will work within trie democratic system and at grass roots level to fight against Right wing actions. middle class fascists. P.S. I doubt that this will be published MUCKY The bit of fiction I found most If you agree with the sentiments of this letter, would like more information, or due to the fact that Mr. Nutt will Sir, would like to get more involved in your Union because of this either, contact any amusing was the bit about you being an probably have a chance to veto its Is abortion the only issue impartial Editor and about the two of EXEC of the undersigned or just watch out for more details. Last but not least-don’t inclusion. But go on .. . Surprise met which will prompt people to forget the demonstration on 27th February in London against the GER Bill. you not being left wing. 'Viz' would like to point out that Sir, write letters? I personally Yours etc., Dominic's amazing grasp of the It may have escaped the they are in no way trying to Executive's attention that Friday would like to engage in Nigel Coomber, Brendan Graham, Jill Binks, Adil Allawi, Annie Lunn, language was also impressive: his use copy Courier and have never debate about the Union Mike Shallcross, Alison Davies, David Lockwood, Faith Russell, Gemma of words like 'Dick head’ .5. how very 5th February was national Red included Anneka Rice in any of Nose Day. Publicity Officer's apparent A. Wilson, Mike Schofield, S. Dellow, P. Scott, Mandy Dingsdale, avant garde. Matthew Terry, Paul Harbison, Emma Deeks, Hilary Weaver, Jimmy their editions. The annual I and some friends spent time and effort obsession with whiskey and If (and I stress the if.) Dominic Nutt is Courier trip to Cuba is in McHugh. what they churn out in the Philosophy organising an event for the University to mucky mags. July. - Ed. department then I am glad someone contribute to this appeal which was Yours (in anticipation) subsequently banned by the Executive. Grahame Dewart. Several other events received the same treatment. BARKING MAD I cannot see any reason for this that Sir, would justify the considerable loss of Barking up the w rong tree once more, the British press have created an funds that would have been raised for the LIVING | unjustifiable antipathy towards the 'Spycatcher Case*. Fleet Street has PISSED OFF Comic Relief Appeal. This is just another shown a fundamental inability to distinguish legal and moral Sir, example of the Executive's petty narrow­ arguments from economic ones. Shitstirrer's response to our attempt to stop students minded attitude towards individuals IN A It is self-evident that wealthy people inevitably end up back in the economy. efforts, in trying to support the non­ being ripped off in Union bars was somewhat inevitable. existent minority who would be offended (such as the top lawyers involved in the Everyone knows that nurses don't share Still, we have been criticised by people more articulate and case) tend to spend their booty on foreign our top lawyers propensity for purchasing by such events. luxuries such as Spanish villas. Grollsch foreign products ... no doubt they would informed than Shitstirrer before and no doubt will be in the I only hope the Executive themselves lager, rolex watches and ferraris. Thus, the empty their newly bulging pay packets on future. made some attempt to make up this lost Government, by meeting the astronomical items such as British grown vegetables, However, a reply is necessary in order to put the record money. legal fees accrued, is ridding the economy Yorkshire Bitter and Hovis... straight. Yours etc., BOX of unwanted cash. As any Economist will Let us not confuse the issues, however Emma Burtles. Sir. know, money circulating in the economy immotive they may be. Let us begin by remining Shitstirrer put these recommendations into What a waste of 50p my red leads to inflation. that there are some people who practice. Yours etc., cannot drink - certain diabetics, those But let us make one thing clear. This nose is, as I have no use for it If that same money had been spent on our Health Service the money would Gordon Turner. on a course of prescribed drugs, debate is not about saving a few now and there are no people whose religious beliefs dictate pennies for the teetotal minority. It is second-hand nose shops that they should not consume alcohol, about being aware of and sensitive to and even if there were, there all of whom are represented within the the needs of all sections of the student would be no demand for ARMCHAIR University. Then there are those who population. Shitstirrer may not like the them as the market has been TAMPAX choose not to drink because they results of democratic processes but flooded. Sir, believe that it is bad for their health or the fact remains that enough students Why couldn't they have, instead Fair enough, the availability of because, heaven forbid, they do not have shown their concern about this of useless red noses, sold packs of condoms is useful, but is it like the effects of alcohol. Finally there issue for there to be a debate on it on butter? As well as being a very actually necessary to replace are the majority of students who enjoy February 18th. We will be there to put useful commodity (such as internal tampax machines with them? alcohol but have reason to switch to our case, perhaps Shitstirrer would RAPE soft drinks on certain occasions. Why. care to do the same. Bet you s/he consumption, for use in culinary Sir, After all sex is optional, periods procedures, lubrication of certain I would like to protest in the are not. Shitstirrer. should such people be doesn't penalised by having to pay over the working parts, medicinal purposes strongest possible terms at the Not only is rt extremely High f t Dry Society picture of a "nude" man in last odds for their soft drinks? Are you i.e. relieving the symptoms of inconvenient if not embarrassing week's "Courier". This is armchair suggesting that they are not deserving haemorrhoids) this would have when 'caught short' but totally rape at its very worst. Just what do insulting that condom machines of a social life and should vacate the relieved the EE.C. of its butter these photographers think they're have priority to tampax machines bars for those who really know how to University of = U mountain. trying to prove? enjoy their beer and whose image is However. I can think of one use Male rights have already taken a in the Ladies toilets. Newcastle upon Tyne I Isn't it time that the University improved by what they have in their for all these red noses as lately I severe enough battering without showed respect and consideration glass. have become an avid cricket fan. this latest round of blatant It may be helpful to put this debate PUBLIC LECTURES 1988 intimidation. to its female members? GRAY & SON but the problem is I have a slight in a slightly wider context. For the past Thursday 18 February Yours etc.. Yours etc., Dunes, Dust and Desert Change LIMITED handicap. That is. I can't find a box 18 months the N.U.S. has been Angry Young Masculinist. On behalf of all female students. Professor Andrew Goudie The recognised authority big enough^ to fit my unfeasably campaigning for increased alcohol School of Geography, since 1896 large testicles. Perhaps I could be awareness amongst students. They University of Oxford so brave as to suggest that all the wish to see Student Unions move Tuesday 23 February Annual Military Lecture ROBE MAKERS compassionate red nose owners EXEC MOCKERY away from events which revolve The Defence of Europe donate their noses to me in order to Sir, around the traditionally male- Th e Rt Hon Michael Heseltine, MP by appointment to the Universities of Durham .melt them down and construct I was at the Hustings for the Sabbatical elections on Monday and was orientated drinking bouts and to amazed at the attitude of candiates and the present Executive towards create an environment where and Newcastle. myself a suitably large box to LUNCHTIME LECTURES Hoods and Gowns. College the smoking ban in Level 2 at lunchtime. individual choices are respected and 1.10 - 1.55 pm -protect my genitalial Chris Ford, our elusive President blatantly ignored the ban, as did one of the Scarves. Ties, Blazers and catered for. The National Student Given by the Department of Badges our speciality. Caps Yours uncomfortably, Presidential candidates; George Napier and not one of the other members of the Services Organisation (N.S.S.O.) has. Geography Executive said a thing. Such little regard for the actions and decisions of their and Gowns for Graduates Buster Gonad. passed a resolution calling for a ENVIRONMENT AND THE SOCIETY and Undergraduates predecessors reflects very poorly on the present Executive, especially in front of such a IN THE NORTH EAST collection of those supposedly most interested in and empassioned about our Union: comparable choice of alcoholic and stocked in all sizes. non-alcoholic drinks to be available in Tuesday 23 February Next year's - candidates. A New Look at Leukaemia Patterns in Let's hope that those who are elected to replace Chris and his colleagues will make Union bars and for a reconsideration W e are the leading outfitters the Northern Region: Is there a to all Colleges and Societies more of an effort to prevent this sort of mockery of themselves, and represent those of us Cancer Cluster near your Home? of pricing policies regarding soft in the University. who vote for them slightly better this time. drinks. We now have an opportunity to Dr S. Openshaw Yours etc., SERIES OF LUNCHTIME LECTURES J. Eastlake. Know n for a great 1.10 pm - 1.55 pm num ber of years as Given by the Department of Music MUSICA TRANSALPINA: THE COLLEGE SHOP Lectures on the Impact of Italian 41-42 SADDLER STREET, AS FAR AS THE Music on Northern Europe D U R H AM Mennie Ltd. Tel. Durham 64168 LETTERS PAGE IS Monday 22 February CITY JEWELLERS A Refiner's Fire” : Student Discount Goods can be obtained from the CONCERNED THE Handel's Approach to Italian Music porter at the Armstrong Building on all goods Dr E. G. N. Cross PRINCESS SQUARE and the Medical School. SUBJECT OF ABORTION (opposite City Library) Phone: 2322452 CURTIS AUDITORIUM IS NOW CLOSED. SCHOOL OF PHYSICS

NEWCASTLE'S A GOOD DEAL MORE VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT We provide natural foods at Alarm-Eyeof the Hurricane...... £5.79 Magnum-Mirador...... £5.49 IS reasonable prices, including at Rick Astley-Whenever You Need Somebody.....£5.49 McAuley Schenker Group-LP...... £5.49 least 12 varieties of salad. Jello Biafra-No More Cocoons...... £6.49 George Michael—Faith.— ...... £5.49 The hot dishes are mostly Frehley's Comet-Live + 1...... £5.49 Robyn Hitchcock And The Egyptians- Uoyd Cole & Commotions-Mainstream...... £5.49 unusual due to our determina­ Globe Of Frogs------£5.49 La Stalla Communards-Red...... £5.49 Pet Shop Boys-Actually...... ______£5.79 tion to avoid convenience foods Dammed-The Light at the end of theTunnel...... £6.99 Pretenders-Singles...... £5.99 and those containing obscure Eurythmics-Savage...... £5.79 Stupids-Jesus Meets the Stupids...... £5.49 chemicals. Foreigner-Inside Information...... £5.49 TPau-Bridge of Spies...... £5.49 Theakstons beers are sold, as Michael Jackson-Bad...... £5.79 Godlathers-Birth.School. Work. Death...... £5.49 Pizzeria & Disco well as a comprehensive selec­ Pogues-lf I should fall from grace with God...... £5.49 Stranglers-AII Live And All Of The Night------£5.49 AC/DC-Blow Up Your Video...... £5.49 David Lee Roth-Skyscraper______...... £5.49 tion of the better quality wines Sinead 0'Connor-Lion and Cobra...... £4.99 and spirits. i f Open from 9.30 a.m. till FROM RECORDS & TAPES PRINCESS SQUARE 10.30 p.m. every day except PIZZA and PASTA from £1.50 ★ (back of Central Library) Sunday. ■ ^ V V o U u y ^ HnyrmftKET Your Friendly ★ Independent Record Store. 30 Ridley Piece, Newcastle Tel. 2321678 ALL NIGHT ★ Mon. - Wed. and ★ 5.30p.m. - 7.00p.m. ★ Thursday - Saturday TOPSTYLE 2 ★ FOR MEN 99 Pilgrim Street ★ 2nd FLOOR Newcastle upon Tyne ★ 142 Northumberland Street, 3 SHOTS 3 SHOTS Newcastle Tel. 26183361 Tel. 232 4220 ★ FOR Cl FOR Cl DISCOUNT ON ANY ★ Mon. &Tues. M on.& Tucs. HAIRSTYLE Extra Special 9.30-10.30 ★ 9.30-10.30 BRING YOUR UNION CARD 3 Course Lunch ★ Ha*n*rfc«t £2.45 ★ -TgK-sSjT’rn r i ■ A , entrance on ★ VINE LANE ^ e v v c a s t\e ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ Thursday, 18th February, 1988 COURIER 5

4HW a rts ******* SCALLY IN YOUR ALLEY CRAIG CHARLES TALKS TO NIGEL VINCENT Craig Charles, the Liverpudlian comedian/poet and star of the new television comedy series, 'Red Dwarf' is to be the first performer to open the new Riverside/NPS joint promotion, 'The Comedy Store'. SINGING IN THE RAIN Starting on Tuesday ,23rd February at the Riverside Club, I've heard the Mermaids collapsing under the weight of her; The Comedy Store hopes not only to attract established Singing — Tyneside discoveries about life. Her sense of betrayal is deeply felt but her en­ performers on the Alternative Cabaret scene to Newcastle, I've Heard the Mermaids lightenment liberates her to once but also to develop and provide opportunities for up and Singing is a low-budget Cana­ again 'hear the mermaids sing'. dian film which was a huge coming local performers to appear alongside more well I've Heard the Mermaids Singing success at Cannes last year. known faces. is a pertinent observation of the ups It is an appealing tale of Polly, an Next week's debut showcase will be headlined by Craig and downs of a perfectly ordinary incompetent temporary secretary at person. The pathos of this eccentric Charles, with The Panic Brothers and a couple of local acts as a chic art gallery. Polly's disappoint­ piece is lifted by interludes of support. ing and lonely existence merges comedy, leaving its audience feeling After winning the Guardian Young Writer of the Year Award when frequently into her elaborate black warm and a little bewildered. he was 15, with a series of poems, Craig Charles went on to make and white world of fantasy where Sally Holder his TV debut in 1984, on 'Saturday Review', receiving great critical she can fly, walk on water and acclaim. Using this as a launching pad, Charles w ent on to appear on Craig Charles command respect from the people the 'Wogan' show a staggering 6 times, became involved in radio she admires. This admiration is most intense for 'The Curator’ of the and acting and is currently one of the presenters for the late night "It was refreshing when it happened and it was taking people LWT magazine programme, 'Night Network'. gallery - a svelte Frenchwoman away from Terry and June and all that sort of stuff. But it’s dated with a seemingly sophisticated life now. I prefer a more 'thinking-man's comedy'; where the jokes among beautiful things and people. ‘Mona Lisa aren't cheap, but the jokes are funny. You don't have to be cheap to Soon Polly's illusions are shat­ Whilst playing a vital role in the success of the award winning make people laugh," he added. tered. She is confronted by all the radio show, 'Loose Ends', he has acted in a series of films and condescension, hypocrisy and su­ television shows, including The Marksman' and 'Business as perficiality of the art world at its Usual' in which he appeared with his wife Cathy Tyson - star of “masturbational prostitutes” pretentious worst. She realises her 'Mona Lisa'. W ith the release of the sit-com, 'Red Dwarf' last beloved Curator is motivated more So what should we expect at the Newcastle show? Monday (BBC2 9pm), starring Craig Charles and Chris Barrie, I asked by status than by culture and Polly "It's basically a stand-up comedy show with four or five poems Charles if he preferred live, stand-up performances to broadcasting: fights to protect her fantasy world Supermermaid. mischievously interwoven," he reveals. "Well I don't know. You see I do so many different things and I "Poets are the masturbational prostitutes of the world; you can enjoy them all," came his reply, "It’s a really nice position to be in - lock it in a drawer and hide it away from everyone, or go out and where you're able to refuse work. If you don't want to do prostitute it and sell it," he concludes. something, then you don't do it." QUIRKY And Red Dwarf? Craig Charles at the Comedy Store, Riverside this It was a quiet night. Until we heard Nyah Fearties trying "It's written by the guys who wrote the funny series of Spitting Tuesday at 7.30pm. to be everything the Proclaimers will never be — Scottish, Image - the more controversial series - and by Paul Jackson who spontaneous and deliberately under-rehearsed. worked on The Young Ones and Three of a Kind. Then we had Stump. A sound so out on a limb that limbs can but twitch in JESMOND PICTURE HOUSE Cinderella - 2.00 and 7.00pm response. Distorting rhythms so much as to make them fit naturally into the j “dirty word” CINEMA twists and turns, the nooks and crannies of our most private moments, at TYNESIDE "When they first asked me to do it, I thought that 'sit-com' was ODEON last paraded in public. And then there was the man; Franz Kafka's lovechild, B a m b l- 1.25 NS 3.35 (5.50) Belly of An Architect — Fii & Sat 6pm metamorphosed from an ugly duckling into a fascinating gyrating The Big Easy - Fri & Sat 2.00 and 8.30pm such a dirty word that I didn't want to have anything to do with it. But R oboco p- 12.45 NS 3.15 (5.40) 8.25 I've Heard The Mermaid Singing - contortionist. This man is a genius of our times, a living legend. The band are Wish You Were Here - 8.25 after reading the script, it was like a contradiction in te rm s. . . it was Fri & Sat 6.15 and 8.15pm his backbone, so utterly and unbelievably spot-on that without them he could actually funny," he enthused. NlghtOnTheTown- 12.55NS3.20(5.50)8.15 Tin Drum — Sun 5.00 and 8.00pm TeenwoIfToo - 1.25 NS 3.45 (6.05) 8.25 A Month In The Country - Mon & Wed 4.00, not function. Serendipity incarnate, you can only wonder at what threw them With the mention of The Young Ones, I wondered what he 6.00, 8.30pm all together. thought of such comedy, nowadays: CANNON The Bee K ee p er-Mon & Wed 5.45 and 8 .15pm Fatal Attraction - (1.45) (4.45) 7 45 The German Sisters - 8 .15pm Wed STUM P play the Union later this term. Be bold, be "I don't like that old style," he said, "It's become so dated; people Sun (4.15) 7.15 Saturday Late Night Double Bill brave, do the decent thing: Attend! Quirk out!! don't like that old smelly bums thing anymore. Dragnet - (2.00) (5.00) and 8.00pm The Warriors & Blade Runner - 11.00pm 4.30 & 7.30 Sun. Iggy

FEBRUARY

Saturday 20th OAP Tea Dance, Level 2,12 Noon

jH L Saturday 27th CAW Parade, theme: FILMS, King Walk, 9.20 a.m. Basle of the Bands Competition for schools and youth # groups. Level 2.2.00 p.m. K

Monday 29th Competition (schools). Claremont Sports Hall, from 2.00 p.m.

P oetry ream m ct uniom 7 . 3 0 p m -T IC K E T S P C R -T ^ s LCj*.se-

NATIONAL

> CO Ul UJ MARCH * j c < I'­ DEMONSTRATION ll. Z O ui Tuesday 1st « GC (t) 5 O from 2.00 p.m. UJ > Q U . FEBRUARY 27th * O. Room 27, Union, 12 noon. 4 5 Wednesday 2nd x z ¥ o y CO TICKETS FREE m Thursday 3rd o Hitch-hike to Pans, leaves 9.00 a.m., Union. < Friday 4th (£5 DEPOSIT) o CAW Level 2 Disco. 9.00 p.m., Level 2. Saturday 5th AVAILABLE NOW FROM A GENERAL OFFICE ALL WEEK MURAL PAINTING IN LOCAL SCHOOLS AND DEBATES 6 COURIER Thursday, 18th February, 1988

Variety is the name of the Woodentopping game. There was a nice selection from somebody’s extensive sample collection, and Monsieur Le Guitarist tapdanced his way across this Roland PF-100 computer board and DREAMIN' various other new toys and pedals, giving us a variety of sounds for a clean The Dreamcoat Ventura are re-opening the Playhouae Theatre with a "Telecaster" rhythm to beer glass shattering feedback. Rolo is a unique production of the Rice-Webber, Musical, "Jesus Christ Superstar". character for a Frontman, but band-crowd communication was very weak The company consists of Polytechnic and University students, young people from Tyneside and local college students. and he might have talked between songs rather than just naming them. He is Their last two shows — “'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat and fascinating to watch, though. "Godspell" - were very popular and the sighs are that "Superstar" will not be an The bulk of the set comprised of their "Talking Heads - Psychobilly” brand exception. of acid pop. (Terms of reference hardly describe sounds do they?) Material All profits raised go the Christian Aid’s Famine in Africa appeal. from the debut LP "Giant" came across well as did the slower "Hold Me" "Jesus Christ Superstar" is on at the Playhouse Theatre from Wednesday 24th to and my favourite, "Time". "You Make Me Feel" is a good choice as a current Saturday 27th February. Tickest cost £3.50 (£2.50) and are available from SPCK, the single as it has enough individuality to bite hard. The main weakness with the Chaplaincy, Claremont building, and at the Playhouse itself. TOPPING band is that they are self indulgent when it come to the length of the T . Gill numbers. A harder punch would be packed in a tighter fist. However, this is THE WOODENTOPS - LEVEL 2 only a fault in the right direction and a fault that only true artists are guilty of. Now that Rough Trade need to replace the success of the late < This week’s "Sounds” review said (in terms of chart success) that they are Smiths they are not holding back on the cash. The Woodentops "so near and yet so far” . (That's original). But I ask you, in a world of JAZZ AT JESMOND are no exception. Speaker drapes and murals drenched in UV computerised pop mimed by saleable images, wouldn't chart success Courtney Pine, "the most important British Jazz musician of the lights, kaleidescopic slide show effects interspread with a film crucify the Woodentop's mystique? The Stock Aitken and Watermans of this decade", and subject of rave reviews in everything from 'The show back drop, together with a complex lighting rig (for a club world have taken "Music" out of "Music Industry". It is this mystique which Sunday Times' to 'Melody Maker' makes an exclusive North East sized venue), made the event interestingly visual as well as I hope the Woodentops can preserve. It makes them colourful. appearance at Jesmond Cinema on Sunday, 21st Fbruary, at Gordon Loncaster 7.30 p.m. audio. His musical education started at school where he reached Grade 5 in both horn and clarinet before discovering an old saxaphone in a cupboard (or so Island Records would have us believe). He served his apprenticeship in the 'traditional' fields of funk and reggae before moving onto jazz under the early influence of artists such as Sonny ARTS MINISTER SPEAKS Rollins and John Coltrane. His first break was with Rolling Stone Charlie Watt's big band, and from Last week at Durham Union Society, the Minister here he went on to form "The Abibi Jazz Arts" - an organisation devoted to for the Arts Richard Luce gave what was described encouraging British "Afro-Classical" music! as_a main policy speech on the need for the arts in He is currently leading "The Jazz Warriors" (an offshoot from T.A.J.A.) as well as the "The World's First Saxaphone Posse". Britain to go out and make more determined efforts It appears that there are many more ideas in the pipeline - and in the to gain private sponsorship, rather than rely saxaphone. This is not a man to be missed. entirely on Government grants. Stephen Silk Policies being pursued include tax incentives for private individuals and companies which give sponsorship. In terms of decision making, the Government is going to plan art expenditure on a more long term basis - over 3 years rather than the 1 year as it is now. The minister said he was every optimistic about the future of arts in this country and cited that more people go to the theatre evey week than go to football matches. However the opposition spokesman on the arts, Mr. Fisher, counter-attacked; he said that tax incentives under PAYE had not been productive and secondly, whilst a private corporation would gladly sponsor the BBC Symphony Orchestra on tour, what about small theatre groups in mid- Wales? Also some private sponsors would only assist if the art being promoted was of a non-controversial nature and some corporations were even buying out art outlets and stifling their voices such as Rupert Murdoch's fortress was doing. But ultimately the whole argument over art expenditure was put into context with the revelation that less tha 1/2 of 1 % of GNP is spent on arts in this country every year. A Woodentop gives a friendly sneer C. C. Bockman Courtney Pine

c c FINDING A FLAT 1988/89 £ £> £ £ Talks for 1st Year Students £ u TENANTS RIGHTS, REPAIRS, DEPOSITS, CONTRACTS, HOUSING £ BENEFIT, RENT LEVELS AND THE NEW 1988 HOUSING ACT £ £ PRESENTS £ MONDAY Eustace Percy Hall, Castle Leazes £ 22 February 1988 7.30 pm Dining Room GANNIN' MORTAL 'BOUT THE TOON £ c V WEDNESDAY Henderson Hall £ L 24 February 1988 7.30 pm Old Hall C THURSDAY: The quite wonderful £ c MIGHTY LEMON DROPS MONDAY Freeman's Hall, Castle Leazes making a welcome return to this fair onion. £ t, Only £4 adv./£4.50 door. Go see. 29 February 1988 7.30 pm Dining Room £ V FRIDAY: The late, great LEVEL 2 DISCO c C Just when you thought those hickies on your neck had WEDNESDAY Havelock Hall, Castle Leazes l c gone, it's party time again! l 2 March 1988 7.30 pm Dining Room c The latest music, the latest bar, the latest underwear. l c Only £1.00 before 9.15, £1.30 after So come early! & Stay late! c MONDAY Students in University Self-catering £ £ 7 March 1988 Accommodation c SATU R D AY: Saint & Greavsie, The A-Team, bugger all else. So get 1.00 pm Debating Chamber, Students' yourself down the Union for cheap beer, cheap toilet paper & cheap gossip. L Union £ SUNDAY: Getting up at 2.00, Sunday (smelly) jumpers. Lost in £ WEDNESDAY Ethel Williams Hall Space, a curry (you'll be lucky!), a strange bra in your £ teapot, 'News of the Screws' & visiting people for a 9 March 1988 7.30 pm Junior Common Room C £ brew. (NB practice karate!) C MONDAY: THE COCK-UP QUIZ C £ Use your grey matter to win sexy underwear, bullwhips, L C whipped cream, oysters ft, oh yes, records & beers. V ALSO V TUESDAY: The simply massive TRINGO BINGO we now link up to C £ the Granada bingo computer so you can play with 5 c million others (now there's a thoughtl) ALL APPLICATIONS FOR PLACES IN Only 50p a session Win T-shirts, records, beers. j* £ c s _.** £ UNIVERSITY FLATS, SHOULD BE L UP ft COMING 10 March STUM P! ft the Jack Rubies £ RETURNED BY L Watch out for dates for L C The Blues Brothers Film ft The Bavarian Stompers £ L FEBRUARY 28th That's it LJ L r Lorra luv SNIDNEY XXX L £ P.S. old concert posters from the brox-office for 25p t , ------C Thursday, 18th February, 1988 COURIER

f

FUNKdarkest moment in En­ afro heads, REVISITED our obsession cowboy boots and shiny When once everyone glish fashion history; with the fifties culture is black jackets. Still, polo wanted to get into Nick flares are coming back. by no means dead and the necks are becoming turtle Kamen’s boxer shorts The elections are by no ‘501’ boys are heedlessly necks though at least you (with or without him) it’s means over, the students dancing to funk. Old can at last be trendy no longer the case with who take their fashion Levis die hard and DM’s without a little ‘hooded hip chicks, and not only (far too) seriously are plain don’t die. Yet the something’ at the front of because he turned out to voting for a funkier fu­ Italian classic look, based your wardrobe (sorry have the vocal capacity of ture. on forties Britain, is still kids, a pac-a-mac never an Aardvark. Muscle If the beat is good then thriving in the high did count). underwear is being re­ the best is ‘baaaaad’: Hip streets and brogues and The unisex aspect of placed by French lace, Hop is the superbad waistcoasts sell alongside today’s styles is going. though of course if you’re boogie of the Eighties. really cool you’ll still I t Whereas three years ago wear nothing. Soon the hippest mode was Dudes will no longer day-glo Glam, now the have to protect their clubs are full of Badass flying jackets from her Muthers and Foxey indoors. Heels are having X Ladies; jive talking funk- a big revival (next step ified guys and dolls with a platforms?) and this preference for rare spring most of the chain grooves, showing all the shops are putting out flor­ aspiring fashion victims al fitted tops as well as the “IF IT MOVES, FUNK o f adapting basic that street-wise is the usual Nautical summer IT” seems set to be the ‘fashionable’ items to sharpest sense. Fashion ware. Accessories con­ new doctrine of today’s personal style, the truth is has moved on from the tinue the emphasis on the fashion victim. Clare that the funk has hit the Saturday morning car­ tailored look with belts Guthrie Hip-Hopped fan, as the seventies toon capers of the Beastie remaining big (literally around Newcastle feeling elbows its way into the Boys and is getting down, and metaphorically). In the pulse and CLEMEN­ Eighties, move on up or getting dirty and getting the same way the short CY FIRTH tells the tale get on out. funky. Today’s lunchtime b le a c h e d hair that (Hey Y’all tell ’em my For all those wishing hero’s have more expen­ Madonna managed to man). that Lionel Blairs (flares, sive labels, wider trous­ make sexy is being ousted for you non-cockneys) Before you slap your ers: the language; flash, for longer wilder styles had never been invented ‘Black and White’ hair the look; harder, louder, (next stop afro’s). Dread­ and that the hideous cream all over your custo­ funkier. In reality we’re locks are still, always seventies had never hap­ mised flat-top and step all being invited to the have been, and always pened it won’t do any into your distressed biggest hustlers conven- will be totally ‘in’ (you good to look back in Levis’, get out your old tion since the may have to wash them in anger, pump up the ‘Jackson 5’ album s. seventies, and whether fabric softener but volume on that Jackson 5 Whether you’re on the you find reactionary rap, they’re still ‘in’). album and think how pull or on the shelf, pos­ an even older pair of Although mainstream much money Michael’s ing at ‘Rockshots’ or red-tags or a ham sand­ Fashion is still a question wasted. sweating at ‘Fever’, from wich when you get there, Baker Street and Notting if you hang around for the The New Essential Hip List Hill to Newcastle the face party, then you too will of fashion is changing. be part of the ‘Radical The Hustle As a self respecting Chic’. Do you want to get Starsky and Hutch student, it’s time to break on up? Leather golfing caps into the lab and clone But hard core hipsters Wider trousers yourself again, no won­ are fairly thin on the Dungarees der the price of second ground in Newcastle and Suede miniskirts and leather jerkins hand jeans has stabilised total turn around are slow Soul food and Turtle necks and people are bleaching in evolving. Though the Loons - Katherine Hamnett the logo’s off their sweat­ first signs of seventies Anything seriously funky shirts. It may be the revival are rearing their

PRESENTS Wed. 23rd March ’Q'ci.gLnaL r ftm e tic a n 'Clothing. Newcastle Mayfair TEA DANCE * Sat 20th February SALE * ASWAD Volunteers required to: * NOW * PLUS SUPPORT Chaperone Serve refreshments Tickets £6.00 * ON!!! * Help with entertainments 12-14 CROSS STREET, NEWCASTLE Available from PolyAJniv. of 300 Senior Citizens TEL: 261 8248 9 OLIVE STREET, SUNDERLAND Box Office, Oldhitz, Volume DETAILS AT SCAN Tel: 510 0431 and The Mayfair MEET LEVEL 2 FROM 12 NOON H222H3 SPORT POWER MAD The U AU and BSSF Powerlifting Championships 1988 were held at Bradford University on February 6th and 7th. Newcastle University’s only representative was SHAHID JAWED (90kg RUCKED class) lifting competitively for the first time in almost a year. CENTAURS RUGBY MIGHT PROVES SUPERIOR Shahid was off to a bad start when his first squat was disallowed and then had to forfeit his second attempt due to a time violation. Luckily, he was U .A .U. Last 16 very good Manchester side at Manchester qualifying, the Cen­ Centaurs (ll's) 34—0 Essex allowed his third, and final attempt at a very safe 157.5kg. This was followed Cochrane Park. The match started taurs found new strength and piled by a strong Bench Press of 142.5kg (the second best of the championships The Centaurs marched into the quarterfinals of the U.A.U. well for the Centaurs and they on the pressure. Two penalties at all weight categories). In the final round a personal best Deadlift of 220kg with an emphatic 34—0 crushing of Essex at Colchester. This should have had more to show on were won wide out on the flanks gave Shahid a total lift of 520kg. This gave him 2nd place in the UAU despite five of the team arriving on Wednesday dinnertime the scoreboard in the first 20 and somehow Nige Davenport Championship and 4th place in the BSSF championship. after being at the Agric. dinner the previous evening and the minutes than a try from Dave kicked them both, taking the Cen­ Newcastle University was, sadly, one of the few clubs represented at the others being taken on a massive detour to Colchester via Kemsley. taurs into a 16-10 lead for the final Championships which did not enter a men's or women's team. This is London due to the excellent driving of Harry in the minibus The Manchester pack then be­ 10 minutes. specially disappointing when one considers the facilities available at the the previous evening. gan to dominate and they got their Manchester put tremendous University. The forwards led excellently by the field. Nige Davenport kicked 3 side back into the game and pressure on for the entire last NUWTC John Jackson totally dominated conversions. thanks to some sloppy play from period, but Newcastle with locks the Essex pack from start to finish the Centaurs, Manchester went in Harry Clayton and Frank Howie Team: D. Kemsley, leapt.). D. at half time 10-4 in the lead. outstanding, held on the final and meant the backs enjoyed 90% Holme. Ft. Hutchins, K. Maho­ possession. However, only an ex­ The 2nd half was a different whistle to win a semi-final place ORIENT EXPRESS ney. R. Rowland, N. Daven­ cellent individual try from Rob story with the Centaurs again against Bristol. The 1988 orienteering year Hopes of a repeat of last term's port, T. Nicholls, P. Durrant, J. got well underway at the Rowland separated the teams at getting on top and two penalties performance were not fulfilled due Jackson, M. Charlton, H. Team: D. Kemsley leapt.), D. weekend with the first Natio­ half time. from Nige Davenport levelled the to poor route choice but the effort Clayton, F. Howie. D. Lucas. A. Holme, R. Rowland, K. Maho­ nal event at Nuneaton in the Essex finally cracked in the 2nd scores. Despite both sides having may still have been sufficient to Hetherington. N. Kirk. ney, R. Hutchins, N. Daven­ Midlands. half under the relentless forward chances, the scores remained push UNOC further up the Saturday U .A.U. Quarter Final level at full time, so the tie went port, T. Nicholls. D. Storer, Despite the length of the courses, league table. pressure and tries were scored by J. Jackson, M. Charlton, Dave Holme (2), Rich Hutchins, Centaurs (ll's) 16—10 into extra time. running conditions were favourable Finally, congratulations must go Manchester (a.e.t.) Andy Vincent replaced the in­ H. Clayton, F. Howie, D. Lucas, and some fast times were recorded. to Donald Fraser (Jock 1) for coming Phil Durrant, Nige Kirk and Martin A. Hetherington, N. Kirk:- Charlton, with Charlton's being the The Centaurs produced their jured Dave Storer and a fresh pair Karen,Sampson, Eddie Wright, Jim third in the Morpeth common chal-1 of legs were much appreciated. Subs. A. Vincent, T. Hender­ Kingan, Donald Fraser and Dave lenge at the beginning of term. try of the game, finishing off a best battling performance of the son. move that spanned the length of season to eventually overcome a Knowing a draw would mean Bendell all ran ‘‘A" courses, looking for high positions. Results have still J.I.K. to be published. The prizes of sparkling bottles of The previous weekend the club wine for both teams were a welcome travelled to Langholm in Scotland to bonus. Anyway, you can't drink a - FOOTBALL take part in an open event in the medal. Thanks to all those who took FIXTURES build-up to the National. A rough IDIOT part and to Fiona and Kath for support­ course in places, but John Reed, a ing us. 20th February 1988 newcomer to the club, produced a good run. Solway orienteering club, The teams were: "A“ - Mark the hosts, would like to thank Simon Houseman, Peter Stockton, Phil Has- Newcastle United lam, Mike Cornish, Emma Tongue. v Watts for sacrificing his own run to FORCE Wimbledon (H) F.A. Cup 5th Round help another orienteer in distress, well done Simon. On Sunday, 8th February a keen position, meanwhile the other teams “B" - Richard Robson, Rob Murri- Sunderland but inexperienced group of 15 were beginning to realise that the son, Mark Baptist, Ian Smith, Teresa v Saturday was the second score Ski Club racers set off for Harro­ drenched, shabbily clad idiots were a Hollands. Brentford (H) event of the year in the North East gate to compete in an inter­ force to be reckoned with. League. Only Ian, Simon, Jim and universities and polytechnics After the next series of races both The next race is at the beginning of Middlesbrough Karen could be bothered to get out v Identity revealed; No “ODDS & parallel slalom competition. teams were still in the running and March at our home ground of Silk- Reading (A) of bed early on a Saturday morning Conditions were treacherous, performing well considering the major­ sworth. Any prospective competitors to attend this event at Newburn SODS" this week — S.F.B. on a Caw or supporters, come and see us in the torrential rain being inters­ ity of us had never raced before, let Country Park. Mag Raid. persed with blizzards and high alone on a slalom course. ski room for details. Now that we've winds. The weather made the The final series of races saw the "B" got the hang of it, there'll be no course extremely fast, causing team narrowly win, each competitor stopping us. many competitors to come to receiving a vocal accompaniment The M acD onalds grief, especially in the tight worthy of any World Cup race. The "A" Richard Robson I MEN'S WEAR HIRE SERVICE lower sections. team, by now looking as if they'd done Vice President 11 BLACKETT STREET Undaunted by other teams with this sort of thing for years, again NakedluncH Book Now for that Special Occasion matching designer ski suits and their delivered the goods, easily beating own equipment, the two Newcastle their opposition. -Vegetarian Restaurant • Cafe Balls, Dances and Social Functions DINNER SUITS from teams launched themselves into the Once the final positions were OPEN: competition with rare gusto and a announced we were thrilled to find £17.50 (inc. VAT) MONDAY - SATURDAY 12 am -12 pm a complete lack of regard for personal that both teams had made it into the SPORTS PAGE 10% discount on production safety.Although a few slight problems top ten points position, the"B" team licenced until 1130 pm of Union Card coming 9th and the "A" team a highly EDITED BY Chilli, Curry, Nut Roast Casserole, ^ were encountered in the opening Bow Ties, Shirts, and all races, both teams made it through to credible 5th - both astounding results Pilau, Moussala, Stir-fry, Lasagne, 4 * DOMINIC NUTT BOOKINGS TAKEN accessories available the second round. By now we were considering the experience of the Ratatouille. . . and more. & beginning to realise that we stood a teams and the quality of the opposi­ Tel: 261 1663 Tel: Newcastle 2327100 chance of getting into the points tion. 10% DISCOUNT TO STUDENTS M0N.-TXURS. ON PRODUCTION 0FS.U. CARD 57-59 MELBOURNE ST.. NEWCASTLE (ABOVE RIVERSIDE) THE RENDEZVOUS PINK LANE sc am STEAK and FONDUE RESTAURANT I| 12.00-2.00 p.m., 7.00-10.00 p.m. SCA NATIONAL CONFERENCE TRY THE FONDUE EXPERIENCE FOSTERS LAGER Bubbling cheese and wine with crusty bread cubes OR ThrAabcrNedas AND TRAINING EVENT Fry your own morsels of meat and eat with crisp salad and tasty sauces Fri 11th— Sun 13th March '88 A Taste of Switzerland! Sheffield University TEL: 2326505 Try our lunchtime specials Sandwiches, coffee or THE FULL WORKS. “ Students, the community and action" Details from SCAN

1 □ SABBATICAL GENERAL MEETING ELECTION ON RESULTS NON ALCOHOLIC

President: Rob Williams DRINKS Deputy President: Ann-Marie Burnham Treasurer: Jem Axford TODAY Secretary: Mark Glover 1.00 p.m. Ents. Officer: Mike Newman A.U. President: Gail Moir NELSON MANDELA DEBATING CHAMBER

Coming up: Com ing up: Tuesday, 1st March: THURS. 25th FEBRUARY N.U.S. DELEGATION AND POLL TAX G.M. COMMITTEE CHAIRS Motions by 10 a.m. TODAY ELECTION TO pop YoUP- Amendments by 4.00 p.m. TOMORROW E Y e & A L L S to General Office □ □