The Hop of I I27

COSTUMES. CAPTAIN SLIM.-A very nice dandy make-up, smoking and morning . The Hop of Fashion (c. I856) ANTHONY.-Servant style, , or short-tail soldier's . CIT I z EN. - like one of the band in first part. LADY MACBETH.-Long over the head, band round the fore- Charles T. White head. MA c BETH. - Breastplate, Scotch , cap and sword. PAULINE.-Plain, almost any style. PoPs.-A Roman , and tabbs. IRISHMAN.-Irish , extravagant, stuffed stick and pipe. RICHARD 111.--piece and . LI z E. -Rather gall us, and vizette. CHARACTERS. Mos E. -Turned up , red fireshirt, black silk hat with crape on it. CAPTAIN SLIM (a Millionaire) CLAUDE MELNOTT } Mc C. White. Time of Performance- Thirty Minutes. Mo SE (one of the B'hoys) SCENEFIRST.-Chamber in Captain Slim's house. Covered table, having ANTHONY (Captain Slim's Servant) Mr. Fox. on it candle, small bell, pens, ink, and paper. Covered chair. CITIZEN Mr. Neil. LADY MACBETH Mr. Donnelly. SLIM (discovered seated at table, smoking a cigar) Well now, who MACBETH Mr. Carroll. would ever have thought that old Peter Slim would live to get up in PAULINE Mr. Vincent. such high style. Thanks to de lottery business for dis lucky accident. I Pops (a stage-struck youth) Mr. Neil. intend to give a grand fancy dress ball at my mansion dis evening, and IRISHMAN Mr. Carroll. eberyting goes off smooth, I'm sure we'll hab a merry time, and one dat RICHARD III Mr. Wise. will do credit to de honour ob my guests and my house. (calling) Here, LIZE (one of the Sykesy crowd) Mr. Vincent. Anthony! (takes letter up from the table and reads):-"Major Jones,­ (CHARACTERSWHICH DouBLE.-Captain Slim, Claude and Mose. Citizen and Pops. Macbeth and Irishman. Lize and Pauline. Your company am most 'specfully s'licited to 'tend de fust grand annual sore-eye dis ebenin' at de house ob your ale friend and white­ THE ORDER OF ENTERING.-Captain Slim. Anthony. Citizen. Lady washer.-Captain Slim." (rings the bell on table, and calls) Anthony! Macbeth. Macbeth. Claude and Pauline. Pops. Irishman. Richard III. ANTHONY (answers from outside, L.) Yes, sar, yes, sar, I'm coming. Mose and Lize.) SLIM I'll bet a dollar he's in de closet eating pies.

Enter ANTHONY,with his hat on, wiping his mouth, L. PROPERTIES. Chandelier for ball-room-small bell on table-a table-cover-ink­ SLIM Well, sar, hab you got here? stand, pens, paper and envelopes-salver, cup and saucer-chair-tick­ ANTHONY Yes, sar, here I am. et-box-stuffed club-two long swords or foils-a basket horse-a very SLIM Anthony, take your hat off when you come in de parlour. Now, large pasteboard ticket-small tin sign, lettered "ticket office" -gong sar, did you deliber dem circulars to de people I told you to? and red fire-a bell outside to strike the hour of nine-candle and ANTHONY Yes, sar. candlestick. SLIM Are you sure dat you hav'n't made no mistake?

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ANTHONY Oh, yes, sar, quite sure. ANTHONY I don't know wedder dat ticket is right or not; it's most as SLIM Anthony, you know dat to-night give a grand ball for de as big de "Times." 'commodation ob my frens, and I want you to 'tend de door, and be very careful dat you don't let anybody in widout a ticket. Now, Enter LADYMACBETH, L. understand, no matter who dey is, get a ticket from eberybody. If dey don't give one, fight!-get a black eye, if you 'ave a mind to. Well, take LADY M Go wash your hands. Put on your . Look not so this note-it's for Major Jones, a partic'lar fren' ob mine whom I pale. I tell you dat Banquo's buried. He cannot rise from his grave. forgot, and be sure dat he gets it. Come, dere's a knocking at de gate. Come, come, come, to bed, to bed, ANTHONY Oh, yes, yes, I'll be berry sure. to bed! (exit, c.) SLIM While you are out, go round the corner, an' get me a pen­ ANTHONY Well, dat is de most singular thing in de world; dar, she's ny'sworth ob dem good cigars. I'll go to my room and prepare for de gone in de ball-room widout a ticket. De old man said dat if he didn't ball. (Exits, with a strut, R. get a ticket from ebery one, he'd discharge me. Well, I think dis ticket is ANTHONY Ah, he's a nice man! yes, indeed-Slim Jim-I mean Cap­ most too large. (he tears the ticket in two pieces) Now, I think, dat tain Slim. He's de gayest feller I eber worked for, 'case he gibs me so ticket is large enough for any reasonable ball. many nice clothes. Well, I must go to work, 'case I've got to be de ticket-office. Well, I thought so, and had a sign painted a-purpose for Enter MACBETH,L. it. (clock strikes nine) I golly! who'd a-thought it was so late? I won't have time to go wid dis letter, for de fokes will be coming afore I get MACBETH Can such things be, an' o'ercome us without our special back, I guess I'll open shop right away. (arranges table, gets his sign wonder; and now I do behold you keep the natural ruby of your cheek, and ticket-box, and takes his seat. Noise heard outside) Hullo, here while mine is blanched with fear. Approach thou like the rugged comes some one one now. Russian bear, Hurean tiger, or the armed rhinoceros-take any other shape but dat. Enter CITIZEN,L. ANTHONY I neber took a sheep in my life. CITIZEN I believe dis is de place. Say, fellow, come here. Do you MACBETH And my firm nerves shall never tremble. Or be alive again, belong to dese premises? and dare me to the combat wid thy weapon. If trembling Janipathy ANTHONY Yes, sar, yes, sar. protest me de baby of de girl. Avaunt, and quit my sight! thy bones are CITIZEN Well, whar is de ball to take place? marrowless. Thou hast no speculation in those eyes, with which thou ANTHONY In de large parlour on de next floor. (CITIZENmakes an dost glare on me. Thus, hence hence unreal mockery, hence! (exit c.) effort to enter) Excuse me, sar, but I'll trouble you for a ticket. ANTHONY Well, I guess if they keep coming in in dat way, old Captain CITIZEN Oh, you are de ticket-taker, am you? Slim will soon have enough to buy a brick house. Well, I kind a-think ANTHONY Yes, sar, I'm de ticket-office. boff ob dese tickets am too large. (he tears one of them in two.) CITIZEN Well, sar, you shall be accommodated. (takes ticket from under his coat and gives it, ANTHONYlooks at the ticket with astonish­ Enter CLAUDEand PAULINE,L. ment) Why, sar, what are you looking at? Is dere anyt'ing so mysterious about dat ticket? C LAu DE Ah, there's the door keeper. How to get by him? ANTHONY No, it's de biggest ticket I eber did see. PAULINE Whither would you lead me, dear Claude? CITIZEN Well, you see it's a bery large ball. CL Au DE I'd take thee to a deep wale shut out by old pine tresses, ANTHONY Well, I guess dat accounts for it. Near de big pond whar floats de ducks and geeses. CITIZEN I s'pose it's all right. Can I pass? Persimmons sweet and sweet potatoes grows, ANTHONY Oh, yes. And de perfume of de sunflower salutes de nose. CITIZEN Good night, sar. (passes in, c.) In a little log hut made out ob pine, 130 I The Show The Hop of Fashion I IJI

All kibered ober wid de mornin' glory's vine, ANTHONY Oh, my gracious! I thought I was dead. I must be stabbed Dar, lub, we'd sit and often wonder somewhere. (puts his finger in his mouth) Oh, yes, dere's a hole; neber If anyting could tear asunder mind, I ain't hurt any. Well, I'll hab to hab a ticket for him quick before Two loving hearts like ours. de ole man comes. (he tears the other large ticket in two.) We'd know no darks 'cept dem dat had de dollars, And dem dat wore fine clothes wid de largest kind ob big shirt-collars; Enter IRISHMAN1., singing. Read de police reports and den we'd see How many coloured men dere be ANTHONY (whistling.) Sent by his honour for thirty days IRISHMAN 'Pon my soul, I think this is the spot, it looks very much At public expense to mend dere ways like it, anyhow. Who the devil is that chap sitting there? He must know And then de telegraph reports we'd read ob darkies killed in showers, someting about it; I'll ax him at all events. Say, nigger, do you hear the And laugh to think what a happy fate was ours infernal scoundrel whistling while I'm spaking to him? Do you hear me While lard oil lamps from Cincinnati straight talking to you? (he braces up, goes to ANTHONYand knocks his hat Should help to keep us wide awake; off) Come out of that, you blackguard. Didn't you hear me when I was And ebery wind

ANTHONY I stubb'd one ob my toes, sir. Enter MosE and LIZE, L. IRISHMAN Then I'll stubb the oder one for you. ANTHONY I guess I'll hab to talk louder to him. MosE Say, daddy, ain't dere going to be a ball somewhere m dis IRISHMAN Now look here; I'll have no more talking with you. I'll go shanty, eh? into that ball, or I'll have a box with you. ANTHONY Yes, sar; right down dat way. ANTHONY (takes up the box-aside) I golly, he wants de box too. Say, MosE What room is it in, ale toppy? do you want dis box? ANTHONY Why, de fust large room you come to on de right. You can't IRISHMAN No, I want to give you a box on the nose. Look here, help but miss it. nigger; will you fight? MosE Come along, Lize. I know'd we had de place down pretty fine. ANTHONY Yes, sar; I'll fight now. (aside) I tole you dere'd be a riot. Can't fool me. (they go to leave.) IRI s HMAN You're the very nigger I've been looking for this last five ANTHONY (taps him on the shoulder) Say, sar, I'll take a ticket, if you days. Now, then; I'm going to give you what we call Bally Hooly." please. ANTHONY Well, den; I'll give you what we call Hooley Balley. (they MosE What? Go way, ole Indian rubber, or I'll burst your trumpet. fight-ANTHONY down) What! you want a busting! (he attempts to go in again.) IRISHMAN Take that you blackguard. (exit, c.) ANTHONY (demands a ticket) Hab you got a ticket? ANTHONY (gets up, looks about) Well, I guess I must hab knocked Mo SE Now, look here, old Maco. I'll squeeze your melon. Go 'long, him clear out ob sight. Well, dere's one Frenchman gone. I kind o' what you 'bout? (squaring off) Daddy, if you keep fighting round me, think dem tickets is too large yet. (he tears another one in two) I'll hurt you now. Come, Lize. (ANTHONYasks again, MOSE knocks him down. LIZE Bully for you, Mose. (both exit c.) Enter RICHARDIII., L. ANTHONY (gets up) Well, there, I can't stand this any longer. Every­ body gets in for nothing, and when de ole man counts up his tickets, I'll RICHARD Now is de winter ob our discontent made glorious summer get turned away. Now, I won't 'tend door no longer; I'll go tell de ole by de sun ob York, and all de clouds dat lowered upon our house am in man he'd better get some one dat understands it. I'll go down in de de deep bosom ob de ocean buried. Now am our brows bound in kitchen, and stay among de victuals. (exit c.) victorious wreaths-our bruised arms hung up fer monuments-our stern alarms am changed to merry meetings-our dreadful marches to SCENESECOND. -Ball room with a chandelier-one chair down by L. delightful measures. Grim visage war hath smoothed its wrinkled r E.-all the characters discovered moving to and fro-soft music front, and now, instead ob mounting barbed steeds to fright de souls constantly. Enter MosE, c., looking about for LIZE. Discovers her ob fearful adversaries, he capers nimbly to his lady's chamber, to de dancing with the IRISHMAN-separates them-great confusion ensues. lasciviousness pleasings ob a lute. But I dat am not stamped for sportive tricks, nor made to court an amorous-looking lass, curtailed ,. Mo SE Say, look here, what are you dancing wid my company for ob man's fair proportions, come in this breathless world scarce half­ widout an invitation? made up, and dat so lamely and unfashionable, dat de dogs do bark at ALL (looking on intensely) What's the row? me as I halt by dem. IRISHMAN Out of that, you spalpeen. Who are you, eh? ANTHONY Well, say; I'll trouble you for a ticket. Mos E I'll let you know who I am. RICHARD Go hence, I'm busy now. A horse! (a basket horse, with a THE CROWD Gentlemen, don't fight. boy under it, crosses before him) A horse! my kingdom for a horse! LADY M Oh, my! what low people! (exit, c.) MosE Oh, go way; you're a woman. ANTHONY Well, dere goes a horse in de ball. I'll hab to hab two IRISHMAN Say, sir; will you give us a light? tickets for dem. I'll tell de ole man dat dem tickets is for one fat woman Mo s E Are you a know noffin? and her chile. IRISHMAN Yes, I am; every inch of me. IJ4 I The Show

Mos E Then take a light. (offers his cigar. IRISHMAN lights his pipe with it, and returns MosE the pipe instead of the cigar. MosE puts it in his mouth-discovers the mistake-throws the pipe away, and makes for the IRISHMAN.) LIZE (catches hold of him) Oh, Mose; I feel ill. Speech on Woman's Rights (I879) MosE What'd de matter wid yer? Sit down. Won't you have some­ thing to eat? LIZE Yes; I'll take a cup of coffee. From "Dick's Ethiopian Scenes, Variety MOSE No, no! Get some pork and beans, or a pig's foot. (calls) Say, Sketches, and Stump Speeches" waiter! waiter! ANTHONY (enters L.) Here I am, sar. Mo SE Hab you got any coffee? ANTHONY Yes, sar; yes, sar. y Hearers,-male and female-squenchin' my native modesty, Mos E Well, bring me a cup ob coffee and some round hearts. Hurry Mwhich is nateral to all uv the weaker vessels, uv whom I am wich, I up your cakes. feel impelled to speak to yoo this evenin' on the subjeck uv wom­ ANTHONY Yes, sar. (exit L.) an-her origin, her mission, her destiny-a subjeck, bein' ez I am a MosE stands near Ist entrance talking to LIZE. ANTHONYenters with a woman myself, I hev given much attenshun to. salver, cup and saucer, and runs against MosE. Salver drops, and the Man, my hearers, claims to be the sooperior uv woman! Is it so? and ef coffee is supposed to have spilt over LIZE's dress. A general run so, in what, and how much? Wuz he the fust creashun? He wuz, my ensues-all kinds are trying to pursue the nigger waiter. LIZEmakes a hearers; but what does that prove? Man wuz made fust, but the experi­ rush for him herself; MosE holds her back.) ence gained in makin' man wuz applied to the makin' uv a betterer and IRISHMAN By my soul, the girl is a fighting man too. more finerer bein', uv whom I am a sample. Naeher made man, but saw LIZE Look there! My dress is completely spoiled. in a breef space uv time thet he coodent take keer of hisself alone, and so Mo SE Say, old indian rubber; I'll squeeze you for