"the cord" 1991 march 21, Thursday

issue twenty-f,ve volume thirty-one

Savagery and sorrow

in Steeltown Part 1

14 page "the cord" 2 Thursday March 21,1991

POSITIONS |

AVAILABLE I

i UNIVERSITY AFFAIRSI |

University Affairs Coordinator 1

Legal Resources Director § BACCHUS Director J Safety & Equality Commissioner

Tutorial Services Co-ordinator

Operation Outreach Co-ordinator

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Researcher j Central Resource Archivist | Election Chief Returning Officer I

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MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS STUDENT ACTIVITIES 1

Public Relations Manager COMMITTEES:

Public Relations Assistants Orientation

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112 WLU Anti-Calendar in the works

Course Calendar Supplement candidly rates the classes

Melissa Blease. Pesce explained that the reason it was decided to by- Cathy-Jo Noble The Cord The surveys include questions on the instructor's teach- pass professor's permission was so that students would not

level of and feel intimidated their to ing abilities, difficulty, interest, reading by profs. LAURIER STUDENTS may have a better way choose

material. There are also open-ended questions Kay also had concerns about the late next concerning running so classes year. survey features the students like and/or dislike about the course. in the year, when class attendance is The WLU Students' Union course evaluation project is generally very weak. be done outside of class time of The surveys are to so it He felt could be in the works to provide students with candid reviews that the open-ended questions also a prob- will interfere with the class nor the not require professor's lem since the resulls will be to different courses offered at WLU. open interpreta- volunteers permission to do it. tions. Pesce said that this should The success of the project counts heavily on not be a problem, since so from the university community. far the results of the surveys have been quite consistent.

has been tried A test-run of the "This is the first time such a programme survey was done with the Political has been said In I think student evalua- Science earlier this The at Laurier, and so far the response great," principle department year. actual survey in

WLUSU President Stuart Lewis. place now is the result of an analysis of the test-run results, tions can be a good idea if it is in The aim of the project is to make a "WLU Course which found the questions that yield the best results.

which will contain the of undertaken "We handled the of the Calendar Supplement", opinions fact properly organization programme very This will the students about courses they have taken. help professionally by having test-run. We also had a law-

to and check other students decide which courses they want take, yer out the survey before distribution," Pesce said.

"It is fact that the ten minutes between classes the what to expect from them. a For past week the programme has had a booth set

out to inter- to nobody, and can be used to fill out the the Info Booth in the Students Union To gather opinion, surveys are being given belongs survey," up by Building. The Lewis said. in ested students to take to their classes and get filled out by surveys are available the Students' Union offices on the

in of Political Science chair, Dr. Barry Kay, second floor of the S.U.B. classmates. The results of the surveys will be compiled Department

and the for feels that this of must be with a The deadline for the March the summer booklet should be ready Septem- type survey approached proposed surveys was 28, deal of caution. but Pesce said the ber. great 1991, date will be extended to ensure a

"In I think student evaluations can be a It is uncertain at this time as to what form the calendar principle good good response.

idea if in fact it is said. "The is not out hurt will finally take, but WLUSU hopes it will be a booklet to properly undertaken," Kay survey to anyone, but I can under- also said that it of for stand how be provided free to all students. Kay was a case poor judgment some profs may feel threatened," Pesce said.

and the committee to state that the is "But in the run it will save students and hassles "We want to cover as many courses as we can, professor's permission long profs

all will not For the first at least, the deci- over for, hopefully in time courses be in the calendar supple- necessary. year, prof's registering and then dropping courses." should be added. ment," said Dana Pesce, co-organizer of the project with sion respected, Kay Both Lewis and Pesce said "this is not a witch-hunt."

Statistics show 10 at WLU are HIV+

"It that in was something I was not 1 500 US students Fraser Kirby The Cord college survive long outside the human ensure safety. used to, or felt I needed," he said. are HIV positive. If that carries body. It is not, therefore, possible The rolled condom should be I TALKED with a today young Rob to says having HIV on through Canada then 10 stu- to get HIV off surfaces or through placed on the head of the erect I'll man. call him Rob. Rob dents may -- campus is not a problem no one at Laurier are HIV positive. dry contact. penis. The air at the top should be in one of classes. He your may knows. According to further studies, 8 of High risk behaviour includes: then be pinched out to leave room be your friend, even live you may to the draft of them won't even know it. According needle blood blood for sharing, to the ejaculate. Then the con- with Rob. He's WLU student. a WLU's official "Aids Policy", Some more medical facts about contact, or exchanges of semen dom should be rolled the Rob is HIV positive. He do down may students not have the right to AIDS (Acquired Immune and blood through anal or vaginal one contract AIDS. length of the penis. day know if a WLU community Deficiency Syndrome) and HIV intercourse. The that AIDS and thing may or may not member is infected with HIV groups Gay groups or (Human Immunodefiency Virus);

or is that have attempted to the surprise frighten you has AIDS. - promote AIDS is a new disease in North The best to Rob way of is not a drug user, a Rob has been eroticizing sex with condoms celibate since America, first appearing in 1978. homosexual or a hemophiliac. He he found he has avoid AIDS is to with the use of erotic and out HIV. - sugges- AIDS is caused by the virus, is a heterosexual male in his tive pamphlets, hoping this will According to the K-W area Human Immunodefiency. The use a condom twenties. He had has unprotected Centre for increase the use of condoms. AIDS Information virus lowers the body's ability to vaginal intercourse with as Here on there is small many most people have not been taking battle infection. campus a According to recent studies, anal as five of women in the past few amount AIDS literature. I was proper precautions. "Many people - Approximately 30-35% of sex is more dangerous than years at WLU. He's not sure know the risk able to find only two but don't practice people who HIV will pamphlets get get vaginal sex because the walls of when he the HI from in both Health Services and the got virus or safe sex," says Mark Davis of the AIDS. the anus are not designed for pen- whom. He tested for it K-W S.U.B. positive organization. - The HI virus is a very complex etration as well as the vaginal late last summer. The The Bookstore now carries con- fact is there is a and great fragile virus. It carries its walls are, consequently they may I doms. found out about Rob through deal of information The blue boxes of Trojan on AIDS proteins on in the surface the tear more easily. friend. Lubricated a He knew Rob from a available and can be purchased at yet in a recent arti- form of small ab- spike-like extru- The best way, besides he in. Rob had the front counter for the of support group was cle in the New England Journal of sions. price This allows it to easily fool stinence to avoid infection is the $1.29 of gone twice. He didn't feel com- for a pack 3. Medicine (Nov. 90) the Centre the It bodies immune system. also use of a latex condom. fortable in the setting with the for Disease Control in Atlanta means that the virus is very 'Double Bagging', a practice of other members all being SEE "AIDS" PAGE 4 gay. published a which stated and will study fragile not, consequently wearing two condoms will further "the news cord" 4 Thursday March 21,1991

Man cleared of rape

Shannon Aldinger showed that both the plaintiff and boundary [between consent and

The McGill Tribune the accused had been drunk at the rape] has been crossed,"

time of the incident. There were Women's Union member MONTREAL - Approximately Katarina no witnesses. Soukup said. 200 students from McGill and Trudel concluded that al- "In this case, the judge let Concordia protested outside Patrick Booth off because of how though 'no means no', each case McGill's Phi Delta Theta frater- he the situation. must be judged on its own merits. interpreted nity house following one frater- That's It must be the "Saying 'no' doesn't mean wrong. nity member's aquittal of a sexual whose is she has to be beaten, bruised woman testimony assault charge. added threatened or have her clothes heard," Soukup. Demonstrators waved cited torn," Trudel said in his verdict. The judge also the placards reading "a woman was drunkenness of the the "A no is a no and before the law woman, raped here" and chanted absence of or soiled clo- that is sufficient. But we must ripped "whatever we drink, however we thing, and other of struggle, look into each case. signs dress, no means no and yes the defendant's charac- "I do not believe the reputable means yes". ter and in- has witnesses, the Crown's testimony proof beyond a rea- Earlier that day, Quebec to conclusive evi- sonable doubt." ability provide Court Judge Luc Trudel aquitted dence that consent had not been Members of McGill's fraternity member Patrick Booth given as reasons for his verdict. women's were at on the grounds that Booth had goups appalled "It comes down to her word the verdict. reason to believe the woman had against his. It's a typical example "In other he's consented to intercourse. words, saying of a judge taking the man's side," 'no whose means no' only sometimes," The woman, identity is Safety first Renwick said. "Obviously a said Coalition Sexual As- protected under a court publica- Against if woman wouldn't go to court tion ban, charged Booth with sault member Valerie Renwick, nothing had happened." Etta Di Leo The Cord raping her at the fraternity house who attended the trial. As students demonstrated out- "In the woman is during a party on January 21, a rape case, side the fraternity house, mem- LAURIER had chance to learn how to be safe this week. in a 1990. Testimony during the trial the expert telling when the Some bers held a party inside. WLUSU's University Affairs department with Laurier's Com-

demonstrators believe it was a mittee for Action Against Assault (CFAAA) held a safety awareness

to celebrate the party aquittal. session in the concourse. According to J. Tyler Leatherland,

at WLU Several con- AIDS party-goers WLUSU's VP: Affairs and Chair of the the University CFAAA, ses- outside the house. gregated sion was held in order to promote awareness, educate students, and CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3 "I'm said issues totally against rape," provoke discussion of safety on campus. The administration has a draft 'AIDS Policy'. The University compiled member. "But one anonymous Volunteers running the booth gave out pamphlets and offered in- well policy outlines definitions of AIDS and HIV infected individuals as as have the fact that A line you to accept formation to interested passers-by. full of pamphlets were for education liter- the dangers of AIDS. It goes on to stress the need through sometimes it happens." handed from those with on winter to avoid- of 'Coordinatorfor AIDS out, ranging tips driving ature as well as the planned appointment a Issues'. Women's "That's bullshit," sexual assault. The volunteers also out CALL POLICE The coordinator will oversee the distribution of literature and provide advice ing gave Union member Seema Goel said. become in the updating of the University's AIDS stance. stickers for car windows to protect drivers who stranded by

denies students the know "No one has to that. That's Her video about date or The agreement also, as suggested earlier, right to accept car breakdowns. "Against Will", a ac-

on has HIV or AIDS. It does not, however, limit the right the whole behind the booth's in the con- if anyone campus point quaintance rape, was shown throughout stay staff of the Administration to know if on whether student or anyone campus, demonstrations like this: women course.

has HIV or AIDS. no." sold the always retain the right to say The long awaited "Fox 40" safety whistle was also at Certain Gay and AIDS groups are concerned about this information getting The plaintiff has since left booth. The pealess whisde is used to attract attention and ward off at- but 'Rob' that don't let this out, as says,"The important thing...is people hap- McGill and currently studies in tackers with its loud, high-pitched sound. to that know." pen them, they Ottawa. both male and According to Leatherland, many students, female, the booth and ask dropped by to pick up pamphlets questions. Many students commented that they had heard much about the "Fox 40" but

had not been able to find the whistles elsewhere.

of FOOD FOR CFAAA, which has members from every part the University community, trained counselors, and a detective from the Waterloo in Regional Police, have worked on several projects the past year. CFAAA Apart from the information session held in the concourse, of THOUGHT worked to on and has produced a set has improve lighting campus the "very their own safety pamphlets. According to Leatherland, sale of the "Fox 40" will be redirected while small profit" generated by the yW Feed your body . *n will allow the CFAAA to into CFAAA projects. The money produce feed mind. I onto * more videos and more speakers fyjSL you your more pamphlets, buy bring vj3p\ Great Pan Pizza campus. The "Fox 40" whistle is available at the Bookstore or at Purple delivered fast. and Gold for $3.95. ____

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WLU kicks it at Model Arab League

Vlad for Kinastowski The Cord general supervise the interests of Samantha Arnold, Doug Isbister, forts of Professor Lev Gonick rewarding the reputation of the it without the Arab countries. This is what Wladyslaw Kinastowski, and from the Political Science Depart- school, was not LAST WEEK a delegation of benefits for the students. Not tried in their com- the from Laurier only students from Wilfrid Laurier the students to do during Doug Downey) ment, delegation

international were able to learn more their four day mittees, Laurier cleaned at the made this an event, they University participated in a stay. up the Canadian school about the in the Middle The delegates from WLU awards Awards were being only problems Model Arab League Summit at ceremony. East, formed new were Andrew to: Steven participating this year. they friend- American University in Washing- Cowan, Andrew given Doug Downey,

While the experience was in the Elrick, Rebecca Tiessen, Julie ships process. ton, D.C. Gillespie, Krista Mair, Samantha Samantha Krista Laurier has been active for the Lufer, Arnold, Arnold, Rebecca Tiessen, and Mair, Doug Isbister, past three years at the Harvard Doug Julie Lufer. Downey, Model U.N., but this was the Wladyslaw The coup de grace for Laurier fired Kinastowski, and Steven Gil- Long-hair school's first appearance at this at this event was the election of lespie. exclusive event. Doug Downey to the position of

The was Jim The Cord The Model League is delegation expected Under Secretary General, for next Boyce

lines the to deal with issues from organized along the of ranging model on the first year's summit, "TOTALLY OUTRAGED." That was the reaction of Shawn real The committees of the Israeli-Palestinian dispute to ballot. League. when he learned Macleod, a fourth year business student at Laurier, the the environmental crisis in the League are: Social, Political, The event was sponsored by: that friend and room-mate Jeff Ryder had been fired by Mega Pizza Economic, Cultural, Environmen- Middle East. The Arab League Information because his hair was too long. "Everybody knows he's a good person Palestinian Affairs. The that tal, and Considering it was just Center, The National Council on and a hard worker" Macleod said. mandate of the League is to foster the first appearance of WLU at U.S.-Arab Relations, and the Na- Ryder had been working at Mega Pizza for more than three relations among member states, the event, the team did remarkab- tional U.S.-Arab Chamber of months when he was fired. He claims that the manager of the Water- between well. Not implement agreements ly only were some Commerce. Only 18 schools par- loo location had never mentioned his hair even though there was a their Laurier members, protect indepen- delegates elected com- ticipate in this event, which is by policy stating it should not be longer than shoulder-length. "He never dence and and in sovereignty, mittee officers (Rebecca Tiessen, invitation only. Thanks to the ef- told me to get it cut... he hired me with my hair like that", Ryder

stated.

The incident occurred when the owner of the store, Mark Mauer,

asked Ryder to get rid of his earring and to get his hair cut. Ryder

that when he declined to do "he said we're to Citizen's Forum now says this, [Mauer] going have to check you out." Ryder added that he doesn't believe Mega

Pizza received any complaints regarding his appearance or per- Gruske The Cord Carolyn National Vice-President Glen new." He also stated that "Canada formance during the three months he worked there. "I'm sure they Wright, along with Laval Univer- must be nurtured and strengthen- THE FUTURE of Canada must would have told me if they had", Ryder affirmed. ed Prof. Louis to ex- day, be sity's Imbeau, every every year, every determined, and the citizens of Mauer was contacted by The Cord but he preferred not to be minute." press their own opinions on the He announced that Can- Canada have just under three and quoted at length stating only, "what's of interest is our image and condition of Canada ada is in the of "redefini- to a group of process one half months to do it. At least, having neat and well-groomed people delivering food to our about thirty interested students, tion" and that the "failure of this is the deadline by which they customers." Meech Lake is that of the federal professors and other media repre- must make their opinions known Other pizza establishments in the area have varying policies. Rob and sentatives, before submitting to a system not the English re- to the 'Citizens' Forum,' and Gondosch of Pasta's said that long hair is allowed if it is "neat and and answer session. jection of Quebec". He also students question is some Laurier are at- clean" and noted that a pleasant manner important. Paul Temple, Prof. Imbeau was the first to stressed that "we have to re- to meet that deadline. Little tempting manager of Caesar's, agreed. "As long as it is neat and clean", speak and began by announcing establish the Canadian dream." The highly publicized Temple said. that he was "not a and the 'Citizen's Forum' is separatist," Following panel speeches a Mulroney Domino's Pizza is more strict on image and has an appearance that he was to be "as and an intense question and ans- creation whose func- trying government policy for both their employees and delivery vehicles. Area sales rep- neutral as He then went wer the audience broke tion is to travel the and possible." periods country resentative Paul Wegera stated that hair was preferable at shoulder- on to that "a new form of into five or six different and say re- up get input opinions from one length on drivers of both sexes although he added that Domino's was in lationship [is needed] between the groups order to complete the million Canadians on the question "a little lenient". two entities [of Canada and discussion section as required of Canada's future. by Hair should be "I Since the an- length not an issue. According to Ryder, was a Quebec.]" the Forum. Prof. Barr nouncement of its creation explains on good driver... my hair has nothing to do with delivering pizza." Joe He continued that felt that this November the Forum by proclaiming many people 1, 1990, Petrusa, a friend, agreed. "It's on the back of his head, who can see it?

that the Canada-Quebec issue "second was more fruitful. has been met with both and part If Petrusa praise his hair follicles don't fall on the pizza pie, who cares?", must be viewed in terms of their criticism. game- They got say." added. strategy, and that "both actors the of the While some believe the Although structure The fact that women drivers were allowed to have long hair also must be willing to risk the im- Forum to be a novel requires the participants to Forum approach to bothered Ryder. The first line of Mega Pizza's "Driver's Training for a stable to discuss set "Eth- a more passe compromise topics, including gaining democratically List" reads, "Hair should not be below the collar or hang out of the be possible." nic and Cultural altered constitutional structure, Diversity," hair tucked the hat front of your hat. For females, long must be under Prof. was the next to others believe that it is a mil- Wright A New $26 "Quebec: Partnership?", at all times." lion bone that take the podium. He was just thrown to expressed "The Future of Canada," Shape Ryder contacted the Human Rights Commission, but found that his that the in order the concern more Canadians public to appease and "What we Value, and How it I he had no recourse. "They said have no legal grounds. They [Mega] do and not take an active part in be voters deflect the heat off of can Preserved," some groups can discriminate on the grounds of appearance", Human Rights in- He also the federal politics. expressed out- managed to onto government. get side-tracked formed Ryder. Ever by insisting that he is since its initial behind- rage "per- other issues. This discussion oc- Sheri Barker, an intake officer at the Commission, said that there tired of closed-doors the Forum sonally hearing knee-jerk curred while commissioner meeting, to is nothing stop them from setting appearance standards outside of has to reach reactions" from whom he struggled its goal people Wayne moved from group to these areas. "I'm not aware of any decision that said it's illegal", feels have not considered despite numerous problems, in- "really and listened to the group opinions Barker said. the future their cluding technological failures, of country," and being put forward. When asked if employers could discriminate between sexes in resignation of commissioners, who complain about "low priority their policies Barker stated that there were several cases going on in

and the lack of a issues," such as "French SEE"CLEAN"PAGE 6 pre-planned, having other parts of Canada which challenged this. scheduled, itinerary. on their cereal boxes."

Despite its problems, the Prof. Tanguay followed by

Forum has the small presented people an commenting on size of It's a New Salon. It's a New Year. the audience opportunity to get together and present. He con- discuss of So out with the old and in with a variety concerns, and tinued by instructing the audience Laurier students have begun to that they must overcome their take of advantage that op- "constitutional fatigue." portunity. He feels that the "Spicer One town Commission the hall-styled open is not way to Forum and with HAIR^ panel discussion has proceed" constitutional reform because is already occurred, while another it little more

will be than "Brother one taking place this com- Love's Travelling "A 'Head' OF TODAY"

ing week. Salvation Show-Geraldo on

A commissioner of the Wheels," and that it will "allow Free Consultations Citizen's Forum (or the Spicer the crackpot elements in society Big Pre-Spring

to have a forum for Commission, as it is commonly their beliefs." He known), Elsie at explained that all future Is there a in future Then Wayne, was change your plans? start Laurier on constitutional reform February 28, as part of must be the Forum taken of off Open and Panel dis- out the hand of the spring right by letting us give you some friendly

cussion that was politicians organized by the because they are "all Political Science Club. tainted by the past." expert advice! Prof. The opening panel discussion, Gough gave the last for-

moderated Prof. mal before "At HAIR FX to look is to feel by Cathy Barr, panel speech the ques- good good." allowed tion and Laurier professors Brian answer period. He

and 56 St.N. Princess Waterloo - 725-4321 Tanguay Barry Gough, and reminded the audience that in King (off St.) Laurier "the Board of Governor mem- long spectrum of Canada's ber and Progressive Conservative history, the current crisis is not "the 6 news cord" Thursday March 21,1991

Are we misjudging the judges?

Funny enough, many had

predicted that Kormos would be a

loose cannon, a liability to the AuroraBorealis fledgling N.D.P. government. The claim came after Kormos had

made by: Tim Sullivan. remarks about the insurance industry — to many, considered

JUDGMENT is a word haps, but others would that everyone say "fighten' words", and then was

understands but no one can the penal had a chance to really system appointed minister in charge of

put a finger on. reform the man, and that the man changing the insurance legisla-

Recently, a man named Peter should be given a chance. tion. Still others Kormos was dismissed by his might compare the Rae said that Kormos would

Premier Bob circumstance the boss, Rae, for what to police hiring do a good job, that the remarks

Rae called on his a convicted burglar on how to "judgment" part were merely the rhetoric coming and a lack of it on Kormos' break-ins. The convicted from part. prevent an aspiring young politician, Kormos, the man who signed wife abuser might be able to iden- and that Kormos could do justice all the elevator operating device tify sexism, so the argument goes. to the portfolio. licenses Minister The at Laurier, was party that preaches fair- The N.D.P. have reneged on of Financial Institutions and Min- ness, equity, and justice believed university promises, trucking ister of Consumer and that Corporate hiring an ex-con to advise on regulation, the opera house, and Relations. a crime of which he was con- it's five months into the five only The Kormos, opinions expressed above do not anyone who voted for those As a of his Kormos mandate. part job, victed to be unfair, or unjust year necessarily reflect the opinions of the losers, or WLUSP, The Cord, believed that sexism in advertis- In the end, whose the Premier judgment is new, at Socialists with Moreover, appar- fledging government Queen's poor judgment every- ing should be limited and made the where, and those who ently knew that the wife abuser circumspect? Park, poor judgment guy, Peter disagree.

an that effect announcement to worked for Kormos. just about the time he posed fully So where does judgment clothed for a Toronto newspaper. come in? Kormos thought his ac- seemed Oddly enough, many tions to be fair, equitable, and

to think at least that his Clean Canada actions Premier legal. The on the other were at up contradictory, or most, hand had had enough of the self- were of bad judgment styled "own style" politician, CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5 But the does end story not Kormos. This forum will be held in the Concourse and will there. More recently, Kormos The Premier asked Kormos to Forum Another Citizens' was held this past be open to all who wish to grab a coffee and a chair under fire for came having an ad- Kormos refused, so the quit, Monday and Tuesday. Although this Forum was and sit down and debate the Spicer Commission's viser on sexism who was a Premier fired him. said con- Rae that it organized in conjunction with the Progressive Con- questions. victed, but wife abuser. released, was not for one but an servative Club who any issue, on campus, those were leading The Citizens' Forum also has a toll free hot line

Many would find that on situation the Premier having going the discussion, Kim insisted that for those who do not have the time to including Downs, or nerve par- an adviser on sexism who was in In considered a problem. fact, it the discussion was a if "absolutely non-partisan." ticipate in group discussion, so you don't take fact an abuser of women of- the lines of a This Forum was the another was more along just prelude to part here, at Laurier, the Forum wants to remind fensive, and could say that the control forum that is held damage situation, accord- to be between 9:00 am and 4:00 that It's Your Call!" you "Canada, and that you Minister lacked judgment. Per- ing to Rae. pm Monday, March 25 to Wednesday, March 27. should call 1-800-66-FQRUM.

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hurts CAMPUS CLIPPIES Pain really

needs to be done about it. This

also kick by pathway appears to BIOFILE some emotion into the equation. A.E. Rogan Our perception of pain is a product of both the offending

hello? sensation and Er, um, our emotional reac- PAIN IS your body's obnoxious already have removed itself. tion to it. The limbic system and

line to brain. Your body the cortex to your Pain messages travel to the prefrontal appear

Professor Terry Chair of won't hesitate for a momentto in- THE UNIVERSITY announced that Copp, brain by two different routes. One mediate that emotional coloura- the Movies the History Department, and head of the Tuesday Night at form the grey matter that a limb is fast the "insula- tion. Victims of lobotomies very owing to rarely Research Professor". What is decimated History Course, will become "University about to be or that tion" of the neural conductor and complain of severe pain, or report

means will be relieved from teaching and the spine is in a pretzel position that is that Prof. Copp any one is much slower. pain, but claim that pain doesn't of number of unnatural service responsibilities for the coming year. or any a The fast pathway makes direct bother them. Prof. relieved of loose With Dr. Kelly De Vries not returning, and Copp acts are busting on the connection with the thalamus Pain is transmitted from the and and at least one prof, on sabbatical next a same. to teaching duty, year, which hooks up with the sensory peripheral regions the central in not being offered that are listed It informs loudly. It informs large bulk of the History courses and motor regions of the brain. It nervous system via substance P, a

the one must ask: "Is out there?" clearly. calendar, anybody appears to inform an organism of neuropeptide. Resourceful crea-

There are approximately three the extent and location of the tures that we are, our body not million distributed pain receptors damage as well as how long it has only secretes the painful stuff, it

the body. are throughout They been going on. This function as a also manufactures some really ef- in the skin, muscle present warning system to stop normal fective pain killers, the almighty sheaths, tendon sheaths, and attention. Free joints, activity pay endorphins. Endorphins bind to and internal The parking organs. only substance P receptors inhibiting place won't find them is in you its transmitting power. the brain and the intestines. of is "BUSINESS people aren't just takers," Yvan Coutra, Executive Perception pain a com- Pain receptors have a much Our of plex matter. It differs from Asssitant to SBE Dean Alex Murray said, "we can give too". And perception person higher threshold to chemical, me- to and at different times give they did as Coutra co-ordinated a successful food drive for the person is a of or pain product chanical, temperature change for the same individual. It K-W Food Bank last week. Faculty and staff recieved a ticket for a appears than the specialized for article of food donated. The the body's both the that there are special lottery every they prize: offending although many neurons (chemorecep- use of the Dean's parking space for a week. The draw was held on sensory physiological factors involved, an sensation and our tors, mechanoreceptors, etc.). Friday with the honour going to Sindi Weig (who was quite happy overwhelming number of They react to stimuli that essen- since recieving over $200 in parking tickets on campus). emotional reaction psychological variables make it them Food Bank tially distort them or irritate Coutra said that the was "very impressed" with their impossible to attribute pain to a into Inflamed to it. 600 pound haul (the equivalent of 700 meals) but he wants to get activity. joints or solely physical experience. A in torn muscles secrete substances others the spirit of co-ordinating food drives in their own parts of soldier's reaction to a shattered called which ir the twin cities as the need for food is three times what it was last prostaglandins year. shoulder is often one of relief, not Coutra also Dr. Weir offer his in ritate receptors and cause the ex- challenges to up parking space a lot- The slow pathway projects to pain, since it signals the end of perience of intense tery for which the students can take part in of even pain. (Aspirin the reticular their hopes raising formation, medulla, battle. However, a normal and similar over-lhe-shelf more food for the needy. pain limbic and other pons, system civilian regards the same physical So killers work because how about it, Mr. President? Can we get around here- they appear more diffuse of the brain parking parts malady with howling as the ex- somehow? to stop the body's synthesis of that a somatic is unpleasantry not pectant surgery, physio, etc. is a prostoglandins). stopping and something really most depressing prospect. The simplest reaction to a painful stimulus is reflexive. The stimulus is relayed to the spinal

cord commands which a quick We almost demand- can response, always WANTED: pee! and ing accomodating bodily removal from the site of irritation. H1717H V.FIVtWIVf? JWWTIIVTfi Other branches of the pain WLUSU had the for after-hours-women's government pay an receptors connect with intermedi- washroom the While the woman's 100 by games room. is now acces- ate neurons that inform the brain sible, they were updated and made to look nice-nice, along with a that a painful thing is happening. Are interested in new floor and paint-job to the men's latrine. you teaching, public speaking, Hence, by the time that "you" The "out-of-order" sign that was hanging there over the past few If or a better student? you have had the opportunity to ac- psychology becoming weeks is now removed. As if it made a difference to some! in of these knowledge the burn/prick/crack/ would like to obtain experience any

ouch, the offended body part will areas, an exciting opportunity exists in

Counselling Services. As a Peer Learning ON THE GREEN Assistant, you would assist the Learning Consultant in planning, promoting and delivering Laurier's THE ENVIRONMENT WITH SARAH WELSTEAD Student Skills Program. Qualifications include:

• with in at least 2nd year a respectable much the fact that IT'S EARLY Monday morning, too early, and I've pretty depend upon you'll be academic dead. standing just emerged from a first-year biology class in

But in - which I have never yet been able to get more than you won't be dead 35 years you just • for a genuine enthusiasm for learning and 75% -- and not for lack of trying, either, I might won't be going anywhere. this is the The is in others add, because although kind of course- problem particularly serious Canada, helping develop academically

because not do that-you-take-just-for-science-credit, it's turned out only Canadians use more water per • and be responsibility, to quite eye-opening environmentally, and I capita than any other country in the world, we also sensitivity, patience, think that should everyone be required to take it use more energy. self-confidence

(not to mention that the labs are two hours shorter - are and Okay there options, we probably

the 100 • than Geography labs, and easier too). won't all be riding horses by 2025: electric and good communication, interpersonal, problem

solar heating for automobiles are being developed, Today's class was about energy consumption, solving and organizational skills and should them we see on a widespread basis in and the situation, especially in the Western world, our lifetime; we have coal to last about much than enough us is more of a nightmare you probably 600 years, at present rates of consumption, but of realized: given present consumption rates of oil, our course as we run out of the other sources of fuel, Peer Assistants work 5 hours - Learning per supplies will only last us for 35 years longer and

we'll maybe be turning more and more to coal, so for weeks Three oil provides us with 35% of our fuel! week 10 each semester. that'll start running out can see it soon...you why positions are available for next year. Someone beside said but me just "Yeah, we was too early on Monday to be hearing this - you All training will be provided. For more don't use that much oil" - but our cars do, and in get this apocalyptic vision of derelict factories, information and an application form, 35 how are we around? More of the aftermath years going to get skyscrapers, sort of a nuclear please apply immediately to: homes natural too holocaust in now are heated by gas, (provid- which the very few people that are left

of - alive ing us with 17% our energy) but we only have stumble around trying to salvage what they a 45 year supply of natural gas, too! Starts to sound can...but there is nothing left to salvage! Counselling Services little a frightening, huh? when the This is what would learn if Usually powers you you took Biol- Upper Floor, Student Services Centre that be 120 for make these dire predictions, it's for some ogy your science crcdit instead of Geog- 884-1970, Extension 2338 in one or two hundred years the future and you can raphy 100 (and the labs are shorter). "the cord"

8 Thursday March 21,1991

WLU Student Publications has a lot of openings for you

to get involved and make a difference in this school

Why not jump on the chance to just do something?

I H E R E'S HOW

suitable for in the Tljr A nV/CDTICIMP on® printing. (Hired fall.) |"||2 vUlll/ MUY Lli II Oil Qualifications: Dark room experience is an asset, to NO EXPE- but not required. (A great way learn.) MANAGER: A and RIENCE JUST AN OPEN MIND! SECTION EDITORS: News, Associate News, Busi- ADVERTISING very important NECESSARY,

Editors. The lucrative The Ad Man contacts ness, Scene, and'Features financially position. Sports, nnAAl/ Editorial Board. You would be advertisers and organizes Advertising Representa- TUC core of the Cord: the yF ARROOK I I I l»nI lk#WWIX tives to solicit ads for all Student Publications, the responsible for finding stories, assigning writers, summer It's a fuil-time in the them and sure Cord and publications. job editing stories, laying out, making KEYSTONE EDITOR: The big whig on the year- the and a lot of work during the school section is the best it can be. Major decisions summer, your book staff. Responsible for finding a printing compa- holders. ™ on s are made by these position f.'? ' ■ , . , organizing staff, and generally making sure the .. r- ny, Excellent and Qualifications: Good and skills are Qualifications: people organizational writing "people" book gets done on time for NO EXPERIENCE NO NECESSARY, JUST AN skills, and a nose marketing helpful. EXPERIENCE Qualifications: Previous work on a yearbook is NECESSARY, JUST AN OPEN MIND! OPEN MIND! preferable, but NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY, JUST AN 0PEN MIND! REPRESENTATIVES: Ad PRODUCTION DEPARTMENT: Production Man- ADVERTISING Reps are ad contracts and in contact weekly and Assistants. These people make sure the assigned keep ager KEYSTONE SECTION EDITORS: Sports, Grads, looks The works with the sec- with their clients. paper good. Manager Residence, and Sales/Ads and Production Man- Qualifications. NO EXPERIENCE tion editors to out each section, the Assistants NECESSARY, of the the lay ager. The co-ordinators various parts of 1 BUT AN OPEN MIND! out with the work. (Manager and Assistant editor and make help yearbook. You'd work with your hired 2 hired in the fall.) ADVERTISING PRODUCTION PEOPLE: The Ad now, sure the book gets done. A for take instructions Qualifications: steady hand, a good eye Production Manager and Assistant Qualifications: NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY, NO aesthetics, and a creative bent. EXPERI- nts the manifesta- strong from th e c|j e and prepare physical JUST AN OPEN MIND! ENCE NECESSARY, JUST AN OPEN MIND! tions f the ads. You work with lot of 0 get to a nifty _ f>l A tiaii

Editors read A\L/IVIII*lw I fl/\ I Ivyll RELATED PERSONNEL: Copy over Qualifications: Creativity and personability. NO EX- all stories before to check for errors before things RERIENCE NECESSARY, JUST AN OPEN MIND! I TREASURER: An important job. You'd help make Cir- for hired now, 1 in fall.) get printed good. (1 and make the» up the WLUSP budget sure throughout culation makes sure the pape Filing Manager it. Work with ana' the year that everyone sticks to other DUIHTn out to the readers, keeps in con acwithi gets I U in WLUSU to make sure money comes and goes and files of relevant articles. campus papers, keeps think about looks after the (Hired in the fall, but something to right PHOTO MANAGER: photo depart- nullifications- If vou know what a balance sheet is Classifieds Co-ordinator together the ment and makes sure who needs pictures now.) puts everyone > mfpfqqary' uoll ro nnaiifioH wn fypfrifnpf them done. ever-popular Classifieds section, taking orders, taken, developed, or processed gets JUST AN OPEN MIND' typing the ads in the computer, laying out the sec- Qualifications: It would help if you know about pho- EXPERIENCE NECESSARY, JUST SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN: For the computer- tion and keeping records. (Hired in the fall.) tography. NO minded, the Tech looks after the computer sys- Qualifications: NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY, AND OPEN MIND! Sys of the tem ancJ it running. One only jobs JUST AN OPEN MIND! keeps is but don t PHOTO PEOPLE: Photo Technicians develop and where previous knowledge required, network, never trouble-shooted for a and write a and hired 1 hired worry if you've WRITERS: Anyone can come up story, process photos negatives. (1 now, Technician learn. time. Never hired, but always needed. in the fall.) The Graphic Arts makes pho- you'll any ,nr>c\ Qualifications: A of computers (DOb). Qualifications: Guess! tographic half-tones turning a normal picture into good grasp

POSITIONS CLOSE ON MARCH 22,1991 I APPLICATION FORMS AND MORE INFORMATION ARE AVAILABLE IN THE WLUSP OFFICES

IIWilli I III———■— "the cord" news 9 Thursday March 21,1991

Nope, no sarcasm here!

I'M IN a nice warm and fuzzy And while I'm on the topic of

mood, so I think I'll take this hyper-thyroid, steroid-enhanced

space to write about all the nice athletes/entertainers who beat the

in things going on the world. snot out of other human-beings In didn't hear case you some- for large sums of money (yes, time the last the Gulf over month, even more than the government War is officially over. Yessiree, will make from the new tobacco it's over, even though there's still tax) how about that Mike Tyson? few and a years a couple of bil- Poor old Razor Ruddick lost his

lion dollars in clean left to do up edge when the champ flattened don't so I know why they say the him in the seventh round the

damned over because thing's other night. So who cares, you wait to home this sum- ice-locked, disease-stricken, damned never Plato would be proud. So would can't go these things really say? Lots of people. It's just real- Orwell in fact he wrote a bulb." Clearly the but that's OK because if and Huxley. Now, I don't mer. Why just space-lost guy end, ly nice to see our role models, nice letter to Gorbachev was a real pessimist. Probably it's want to on thanking 'they' say over I believe like good old Tyson, battle really pass judgment been drank too. And Lots them. The how elected officials him for all he's doing a lot, opium. good thing is that through these things victorious. my spend writers in that area of the world. and lots of drugs. All are fewer will be into tax So what if I think recently people dying daily Puts your faith back the my money. know. If don't know what I'm talk- like that, don't you in the Middle East. Please note I and scheme of it's a bad idea? Because as we all you proper order mind. It would I'm so I want to did elected ing about, never just happy say 'fewer', because you're things. know, democratically take to Just trust vomit. if think that know what's best for us. too long explain. kidding yourself you Was it my imagination or did people Trust like that makes feel me, it's special. nobody's going to die anymore. I I actually mention the Canadian me so very The preceding stuff is the opinion of all know the CIA still in mean, we government the last paragraph? good. Yes indeedy, the world's a the writer, and does not necessarily has a whole battalion of or so Goodness me, yes. It reminds me And it's nice to know that to be now. very lovely place right a reflect the emotional state of very their Medusa squad still in there of that special Citizen's Forum I Crane's everything's moving along so mean, forget Stephen stressed-out Cord staff. Oh hell,

raising a stink. (In case you don't now in the works which is in I finally swell eastern Europe. have a little homily about humanity you've been reading these damned keep on Robert Ludlum- to iron out in to up your going the problems friend from Estonia who's just so being "lice which were caused disclaimers for the whole bloody the stuff, Medusa section know I mean. type of this country once and for all. tickled with things there that he cling to a whirling, fire-smote, year, you what

the CIA are their assassins, the

if agents who, they weren't get-

ting paid healthy sums into Swiss

banks by the American govern- ment for killing 'proper targets'

would probably have been ex- ecuted in the electric chair by

now for mass murder of

civilians.) But, you know, at least they aren't dropping big bombs

That's a start, I anymore. guess. 3 Q. fa*. A£%UAM^ the know By way, you how /(Ohj- apparently in Iraq and Jordan and

Palestine and such people are naming a whole bunch newly olcn*- born babies Saddam in honour of (LA^Ghi*#?" Mr. Hussein? Well, according to

the Weekly World News (brought Revenue Canada doesn't collect it also delivers just taxes, are before 10:00 a.m. and after 2:00 p.m. From February to by the same fine you people federal and provincial credits you could benefit from, including 25 through April 30, Revenue Canada's phone hours are who supply us with the National the and services tax the child tax goods credit, credit, and this extended to 8:00 p.m., Monday to Thursday. There's also an Enquirer) the name Scud, in year, for the last time, the federal sales tax credit. But if you automated phone service called T.1.P.5., for answers to com- honour of favourite everyone's don't file tax return a because you don't owe any taxes, you mon questions. For a complete list of services and phone surface-to-surface long-range could miss out. numbers in your region, see your Guide. missile, is a close second. How Is tax easier this nice. filing year? What other services are available?

Revenue Canada has introduced new measures to simplify You can visit Seasonal Tax Assistance Centres in convenient the tax filing process. The guides use clearer, plainer language, locations, like shopping malls, for information, guides and f the Special return has been trimmed down and there are two forms. See local for times and locations. i m so happy, i your newspaper new "no calculation" returns. The 65 Plus one-page, gold There's also a video called "Stepping Through Your Tax return is for seniors with income from or interest. The want to vomit pensions Return" that you can borrow from public libraries or your white Short is for like return people, students, with simpler tax district taxation office. situations. If choose of the "no calculation" one . . you returns, , T 9 1 snouiu waicn lor. we'll do Anytning all the calculations, including any federal or provincial Speaking of Gulf War Make sure all information on return credits you may be eligible for. personal printed your aftermath, Wrestlemania VII is is correct, especially your address. Before you start, make sure rbOt down where some tips. information Check going Sunday night, yOU h ave all your receipts and slips. your shall look in the Guide that we see ail-American Hulk First, comes in your tax package. It gives calculations, and attach all the information that's asked for in instructions Hogan rape Sgt. Slaughter (the you step-by-step and helpful tax tips. Read the the return. These steps will help avoid delays in getting your of the WWF for the lines that pro-Iraqi bad-guy) explanations apply to you, and ignore those refund. that don't. If Championship. See, when the income situation hasn't changed much from r -n your T T T move, Will I Still get my cheque. War started the bad Sergeant took last year, you can use last year's return as a reference. If the title off you're moving, call or write Revenue Canada with new of the Ultimate War- - your \y/V> 112 K • Wnat 111 nave I questions. address, so we can make sure to If rior (a good-guy who, am told, your cheque gets you. you If can't the in the you find answers Guide, can call the have more questions, talk to the people at Revenue Canada has one hell of a nice body and you at Revenue Canada. The best times to Taxation. with shouldn't be allowed to lose since people get through They're People Answers. he is the hottest wrestler around) in a special repeat of when the

Iranian nasty the Iron Sheik took the title in the middle of the

American hostage situation in Iran. So I guess once the coveted WWF Championship is safely back around the waist of a real

American we can truly call the War over. Sigh. Makes you feel all kind of sniffly, doesn't it? Amazing how these things just work themselves out. "the cord" comment 10 Thursday March 21,1991

"the cord"

A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication

75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, On. N3L 2C5

MARCH 21, 1991 VOLUME XXXI, ISSUE 25

EDITORIAL BOARD

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Tony Burke

EDITOR ...Mark NEWS „.. Hand .

ASSOCIATE NEWS

EDITOR Tim Sullivan

FEATURES EDITOR GaUCockburn

SCENE EDITOR Guy Etherington

SPORTS EDITOR Brock Greenhalgh

BUSINESS EDITOR Tim Bartkiw

PRODUCTION

MANAGER Christine Yarwood —

Production Assistants: Roxanne Chartrand, Thanks for coming out. Darcetle Hall —...... KarenLennox You know, it's nice to know that take their education Classified Coordinator —«...Charlotte Gravlev really people seriously.

It's nice to see people so over courses that look in the calendar but aren't offered (even Circulation and Filing. Cathy-Jo Noble get angry really good though they haven't been offered in five still in the calendar). Graphics Artist —JJR. Artinger years, they're For Editors ...Mike v. all of the who few actually come out and do about it. Next Copy —... Bodegom people get angry, very something year's student Senators

...f£evitt Tessner were acclaimed......

The in didn't is the Senate, case you know, body on campus responsible for governing academics at the university. The CONTRIBUTORS: Senate sets the calendar. The Senate, in other words, is second only to the Board of Governors as the most powerful organi-

zation the If didn't know this it's fault because had at university. you your own you've plenty of opportunities to do so. Douglas Spence, Chris Skalkos, Fraser Kirby, Jennifer No wonder the administration doesn't seem to care about the students at Laurier, the students don't even seem to care Andrew Bailey, Saunders, Feizal Valli, Epps, Carolyn about the students at Laurier. A.E. Rogan, Etta DiLeo, Chris Read, Mark "the Mauler", shouldn't be blamed for not for the wouldn't have Perhaps you running Senate; they probably accepted your application Vlad Kinastowski, Cathy-Jo Noble, Carolyn Gruske, Had tried to a Senate the afternoon like two anyway. you get application package on they were due, students did, you would Terry Grogan, Rob Cresswell, Rob Hums, Joe Wiebe, have found out that there weren't any packages for you. No, you would have had to wait fifteen minutes for them to get David Bradfield, Martin Walker, Louis Grey,Colin printed off, and by the time got all the it would have been about ten minutes the deadline be- Buehler, Tom Pugliese, Jennifer Epps and the voices of you necessary signatures past fore would be able to hand them two out. And do freedom. you in, as students found you know what else you would have found out?

Production: Larry Coker and Terry Grogan. They would not have accepted your application. David Bradfield Even had available Photo: Rambo, Jennifer Kuntz, and though they only just enough applications to fill the open positions. Chris Skalkos. In short, what the hell is going on around here?

This is and place so nauseatingly apathetic that it makes us want to puke, yet when people who are interested in getting STUDENT PUBLICATIONS involved make an effort, they get shat upon. I'll bet the recruitment officers never tell that to the interested high schoolers, do they? SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN- Michael Myc

PHOTO MANAGER Tom Szeibel

Photo Technicians:..— Chico Galvez — — Thanks for not out...... Jo-Ann Jutien coming Graphic Arts Technician— Niki Westman

ADVERTISING: Most of the students at Wilfrid Laurier are between the ages of 18 and 22, so the fact that Vanilla Ice (aka Van Winkel) MANAGER Martin P.L. Walker canceled his show this week at The Twist should not be that heartstopping. Production Manager Rick Dales But it does raise the question "What do performers really think about the people that buy their albums and come to their Assistant Steve Ladouceur small his can't wait for album concerts?" In Vanilla's case, the venue was too (for ego). Well Van Winkel, we all your next Advertising Representatives; to come out, so we'll buy it NOT! ....iMura K. Lee, Dennis Bon, and he Our youth have idolized an ex-BMX racer who lies about where he comes from and who he went to school with Marc Navabi, James Neilson is. He has about as much talent as a bag of hammers. His "no show" at The Twist tells us just what sort of entertainer he about music. does not write his own material, he constantly sings himself, and he deals with no major themes in his BOARD OF DIRECTORS Kitchener-Waterloo be Toronto Vancouver but there number of citizens in the may not or or Montreal, are a younger Jana Watson, President twin cities area who would have wanted to have spent the night with the Ice Man. It is a slap in the face for his fans in the Jim Boyce Stuart Lewis when someone who depends on the people, decides that those people are not worthy of his time and effort. Vlad Kinastowski DanMuys about to let a Peter Roose Tom Sarnac The actions of the local radio stations in their boycotts of Vanilla's material shows that his fans are not thanks Moe Athia one-album wonder turn his nose at the Festival Country. We are worthy of better entertainment. Thanks, but no

Vanilla, or Robert, or Van Winkel, or whoever you are. Get back to us when you figure it out. 884-2990 884-5092 INQUIRIES: (Editorial) (Advertis- Nah, don't bother. ing). National advertising by Campus Plus: (416) 481- Editorial topics are approved by the Editorial Board of The Cord and are independent of the Cord staff, the university, 7283 WLUSU and the Student Publications Board ofDirectors.

and The Cord welcomes all feedback, comments, criticisms, gifts, The University Blues by J.R. Artinger submit to Editor and suggestionsfrom our readers. Please letters the typed

double-spaced by Tuesday at noon fox the following publication. We can only print letters that bear the author's real name, telephone number, and be withheld l.D. number (if applicable), but your name may by request. remember become The Cord also welcomes all submissions bat that they

edit and refuse The Cord we reserve the right to the property of and any submissions. Furthermore, The Cord will not print anything considered in the staff tobe sexist, racist orhomophobic natureby as a votingbody. Eight month, 24 issue Cord subscription rates are: $20.00 for ad- dresses within Canada and $25 outside the country. Co-op students may of $10 month work subscribe at a rate per four term. floor of Theoffices ofThe Cord are located on the second the Slick

Lewis Home for Three-headedness (a terrible thingie) somewhere within

the of Wilfrid Laurier The Cord is ethically correct campus University. Ricter Web in Brantford, printed by the somewhat fine people at Press

Ontario.

the and winter The Cord is published weekly in fall terms. The

the Ontario Association. Cord is a member of Community Newspaper

Copyright (c) 1991 by WLU Student Publications, 75 University of ' Ave. West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5. No part this publication may

of the be reproduced without permission Editor-in-Chief. "the cord" comment 11 Thursday March 21,1991

Cord congratulated The Answer for good reporting of the Week

Congratuallions on your suc-

cesful return to publication! The Letters to the Editor

March 14, 1991 Cord Weekly all members of the WLU community Letters are welcome from that the Cord was proof Weekly words and bear the author's All submissions must be within 400 Strawberry pie. is a to be campus newspaper number for verification. Names may be real name and phone of, not one to letters proud continually Cord will as as withheld by request. The print many and debase. It fair reproach was or Brock allows unless the letter is deemed potentially libellous, by Greenhalgh, space accurate in its of and coverage towards individuals or or violence Tim Sullivan and attempts to incite hatred Harvey Luong both sides of the publication shut- lesbians and - men, gays, identifiable groups including women, down and demonstrated issue, and with a ethnic and religious groups, people disability. be that journalistic integrity can

found on our campus.

student in must the token, he or she The body over- to say this world, but they it. By same

Cord democratic to tell other students whelmingly supported The respect their right has no right to

stand to student not read it. in its on the right free say it. If any particular that they should with, speech and freedom of the press, does not like, agree or ap- Kudos on your unbending

that WLU of advertise- taken WLUSU and a comforting sign stu- prove any article, stand against

he or she is under immediate to in- dents recognize that they may not ment, or story, for taking steps I like to have whatsoever read volve the student in the is- What would always like what everybody has no obligation to body licked slowly from sue. It was heartwarming to my

small of life in body? Cord is of detect a spark guilty WLU students. The Cord is Carrie Paraskavopoulos doing its job after all: provoking 3rd Year Honours Math its own censorship thought in university students and (what a concept!) attempting

of With the closing of The to such reasonable limits pres- to squeeze apathy out young learn Cord, the predictable hue of cribed by law as can be people who.should to take in about what "censorship" by the "conservative demonstrably justified a free the time to speak up is

attitude" of the university's and democratic society". important to them.

the The should authorities arose from predict- Perhaps, Cord Continue to produce a news- invocation of calibre last able circles. have prefaced its paper of the same as

The Cord's staff, in their at- Article 2(a) with the preamble in week's issue. It is nice to have a

"to be unbiased" in the that tempt order to have presented a more student newspaper not only What is the most potent reporting of this matter, brazenly accurate legal provides information, but argument. aphrodisiac? the printed Article 2(a) of Charter provocation for thought, and ac-

of Rights and Freedoms on last Finally, The Cord's defence tion. Moe Athia The week's front-page. However, against this "censorship" is overt- Sincerely, 2nd Year Chemistry its must real- since it itself Cord and defenders ly hypocritical prac- Keri Downs

ize that freedoms are tices Recall that prescribed "censorship". Former Assoc. News Editor

absolute even in a democratic "The Cord will not not print any- The Cord Weekly society. The Charter's preamble thing considered to be sexist,

in recognizes this fact: "The Cana- racist or homophobic na- dian Charter of Rights and Free- ture...". I! Letters doms guarantees the rights and j | continue... freedoms set out in it subject only Mark Heckman

PINK INK

What is the next single off Life in the gay ghetto Warrant's next album? Tom Pugliese Douglas O. Spence 3rd Year Jockrophy If asked define the the district with the exception of the odd movie. you an urban geographer to

to be term "ghetto" you might get something like this, "a This to me seems a problem.

friends from this area down ghetto is an area occupied by a group of people So many of my go leave the with a specific commonality, whether that com- to Toronto for a weekend and never

is socio-economic I will admit that I am as monality race, religion, or status, Yonge-Wellesley area (and this etc." guilty as some of them). However, geographi- of form in urban of the overall Many groups people ghettos cal ghettoization is only a part prob-

areas and these areas are easily seen and recog- lem.

nized. In Toronto, for have China themselves so example, you So many gay people surround the Italian market, and listen Town, district, Kensington completely with all things gay. They only to

favourite, the district. have my gay gay music, only go to gay bars, only gay What do In most the district covers an It is people want to larger cities, gay friends, and only read gay books. even possible

throw at Peter area of a few blocks and within it lies just about of and still be Eglin? to be an avid patron the arts staying

service one could imagine. The ghettos often of the every within the gay boundary because popularity around the bars with the idea that there Chris developed of many openly gay artists, playwrites, and certain and 3rd Year Business was a safety sense of comfort in num- musicians. I ask, is this self-segregation healthy?

bers. As the becomes more and more estab- demanded area For years we have asked for, alright,

lished as other services like restaurants, book If "gay" integration into mainstream society. we want to

stores, and services center there close then counselling be part of society are we not obligated to enjoy

to and where the clientele live, work, play. the offerings of the mainstream? If gay people think

It is of view I wish to not a geographical point heterosexism is a nasty word then try this one out, take this article but rather I with a sociological one. homosexism. If we want to be visible then we have

of but the be want to address not the subject ghettos to get out in the real world and a part of society. of is the subject of ghettoization. Part ghettoization How can society deal with an issue that they cannot What is the com- in fact that the gay community is so well organized see and we keep hidden a few small city blocks. plementary gift you get and within the have to contact with and be func- gay districts around the world you We maintain a when you buy an ashanti can anything and do almost anything want. tional part of the mainstream and not just a squeak- get you stool? for and wheel be This makes it far too easy gays lesbians ing crying to oiled. Let's work on the

to in their little before get caught up own community. On a problems within our subculture we get

has as recent week-long trip to Montreal I myself spent caught up in looking at the problems society Richard

most of time in the not to whole. my gay district, having a guy in the Concourse

leave to find good restaurants, accommodation, or selling really neato

entertainment. things The the author Pink Ink I know several men in Toronto who live in, or opinions expressed by of

in not those the Cord staff, near the ghetto, work in the ghetto a gay bar or may necessarily reflect of WLUSU, WLUSP, the university. restaurant, and do not seek entertainment outside of or 12 "the cord" comment Thursday March 21,1991

Cord wouldn't know News if it...

there that a student known real- was room for a newspaper should, Your coverage of campus not previously or story, we can see how "collect, write and edit stories When news items become though Sports Letters events is at best sparse. It would ized". from the of Wilfrid Editor Brock mind- ...continued campus seem to me odd that a great ma- so heavily laced with opinion that Greenhalgh's Laurier well articles of less rendition of how he as as a lo- jority of articles in the "NEWS" they require a disclaimer, they spends his dull cal, national or interna- their status as news. incredibly Sunday Even- regional, section of the paper require a dis- relinquish We are dismayed and perhaps tional of interest would nature to the stu- claimer (Biofile, Aurora Borealis, Recently the Sigma Chi Fra- ings certainly take somewhat disillusioned with dent If this is basket- precedence over the aforemen- body". your From the Asylum, etc., etc.). ternity organized a charity regards to what constitutes a mandate then we must members tioned "interesting or News, to the best of our knowl- ball game with the of important item for newsworthy your paper. that wheelchair event not previously known wholeheartedly say you edge, and the Collins English dic- Canada's top ranked or It is our in- understanding, and failed the student of the uni- the Twin realized". Yes, it's clear body tionary, is, "current events; inter- basketball team, City quite to deed that of your constitution's, versity. us where the of esting or important information Spinners. Volunteer efforts from priorities the con-

Chi tent of the student the 42 students of Sigma suc- newspaper lie.

ceeded in raising over $2000 for If this were an isolated inci- dent of Mature student K-W Access Ability, the largest poor journalism then recognizes ever on this these allegations would be less single charity campus

to in the than year. On hand take game appropriate. Unfortunately

the Waterloo this has been on for the the work of Cord staff were CKCO-TV, going bet- Chronicle, and AM 109, all ter part of the 1990-91 academic school (the reputable sources of media who year Charity Ball and undoubtedly found some merit in Campus Club activity are just two Suzanne Greenhous other to have access to Has Ms. has called the colleges Greenhous never The Student our actions. Indeed, they realized examples). Union who the the entire curriculum. people signed Cord peti- come across, and perhaps en- funds The Cord somewhere it constituted "interesting or im- in tion this censored material "radical", "narrow-minded", Among joyed, explicit accounts of sexual the of $17,000 portant information", otherwise neighbourhood per and educated." The were some of Canterbury Tales. in her "supposedly activity English books? most of which known as news, "from the annum, invariably of the This claimed be grammar sentence which censorship to What was so shocking about the from campus of Wilfrid Laurier...of in- comes our Student activity "As protecting youth from immoral The begins, supposedly edu- piece in Cord? Were we fees. It is high time The Cord terest to the student body" and be- material. I cated...", incidentally, raises some (i.e. sexual) think that supposed to realize that the interests really the city of K-W at large. gan to represent of its real questions about her supposed ed- purpose was to protect the homosexuals really doing it the student enjoy Last week's issue of The body at Laurier, institution from their ucation in English. A more censoring the em- way? diverse instead Cord (March 14) included 6 as they are, of her the serious concern than style, barrassing picture which tales Well, then, let's all suppose their own separate articles, an editorial, a pursuing agenda. however, is the content of her let- paint of it. ourselves to be a little more edu- The Cord was shut down two full page of student comments, a ter. The is this: cated! The who point Censorship young people weeks much to the of two page feature, and countless ago chagrin is vulnerable to misuse in the make The Cord a lot She certainly mistakes in- go, expend our my letters, all dealing with the in- student body. Perhaps if one hands of institutions. of and tent when she characterizes powerful time, energy, thought to thinks about my famous 'Cord Shut-Down Crisis'. really it, censorship

of the as evi- What could be the use of provide the university with a vital signing petition right Nowhere in 36 of and other unrelated issues aside, pages prime dence of narrow-mindedness and censorship of this sort? Should it service. I take this opportunity to there was a reason why. Temagami timber was there any maybe be used to the of radicalism. An important princi- impose tastes publicly express my appreciation. mention of the accomplishments at the elite Ms. ple is stake. The university is a (i.e. Greenhous) on In the Maggie Milne of a handful of Laurier students. hoc, Gentlemen of Sigma place of open exchange of ideas us poor unthinking radicals? Such 2nd Year Music Not even in your Sports section Chi information is not the democratic and among adults. way.

Censorship is an extremely I believe that Ms. Greenhous

serious of this ideal. also mistakes compromise the intent of the WLUSU can not be called a union When I studied English at U publication of the objectionable

of T more 30 stu- than years ago, material. The "Muse" it were to published as with repression and if it left "Censorship by any other they appeared together dents of one of the Church- to homosexuals confront the discretion I would not be a help name would still smell like shit." the word homosexual this be- my

affiliated Arts were colleges danger of AIDS. The Cord in None member of WLUSU. WLUSU is pub- This letter is response to comes offensive. the less, it from restricted studying parts of lished it make of their union. A union does not to sense WLUSU's latest effort to dictate is obvious that some students not a the curriculum. had English They of the stink which arose would be offended. For these the activities and coverage its will on anything it deems, in stu- repress thoughts to at enroll in English courses from the action of the Muse. the of those that its infinite wisdom, to be of- dents article was plainly titled its members, even

and be- middle- fensive. a disclaimer was printed are not from mainstream,

A it. Thus "if don't like little over a year ago smok- fore you it, class society. (I am fully aware don't it" could And Cordie ing became prohibited in the TV read argument be that no union would condone a I lounge. This policy continues to applied. chose to read the arti- violence or slanderous literature).

be at the of cle, but was unable to see how expense those It fights for the rights of all of its

smokers much worse this article was in who are too young to get members. WLUSU must come

into Wilf to others if the s, the last place that one comparison except back to the level of the students,

realizes it can smoke on Now, reader or censor was for it too only as as campus. long stays sympathetic weeks WLUSU two ago, decides homophobic. to the administration, and its

to stop publication of The Cord, Due to the method of paying search for favourable publicity A of can take without lot people have come to you part com- I attend this due to a controversial article. It fees am unable to (free advertising), WLUSU will me that I work for "the mitting to our weekly blind radi- (knowing seems to that the unless I dues to and me over past university pay my remain an elitist organization, cord") with and com- calist at complaints regime. Every Friday three I have the words WLUSU. Therefore I would like years seen keep its reserved parking spaces. ments about how things in this 2:30 we have a general staff I cock, fuck, and ass in many dif- to use this forum to state that in not be paper should or should meeting in the immediate vicinity Steve Clark ferent Cord articles, but as soon no way endorse these policies of done. In our past issue (Vol 31, of our offices. The first thing we there lots of letters do is #24) were and go through our opinions one in the The comments, oddly enough by one about our likes or dislikes

letters and comments sections from the previous issue, and what like "I respectively, saying things we think should be done for next

think it needs to re-focus", "We week's issue. This meeting is by need but closed just a paper, anything no means to all but the for staff. If the Cord", "They always go you don't like something University the shock aspect," and my per- or have any suggestions, don't sit

"The blind radi- sonal favorite, on your duff and grumble, come calism...". on out and let us know first hand!

Have people ever worked This is a student YOUR you paper, Blues to out a before? put publication paper, not ours. It's time you

a Especially weekly publication came out and took some responsi- where you have to call upon bility for it.

continuously to come yourself up And just for your info the paper

with new and hopefully creative is put together on Tuesday nights,

to include? If answer at about If real- things your starting 7:00. you here is yes, why aren't you up ly want to censor us, come on helping us out instead of sitting down and read over our by Now back and criticizing? your shoulders, if you don't like some- answer to that is probably "Well I thing, let us know then... hind- J.R. don't want to commit to another sight is 20-20 but foresight is far

weekly venture, my time is taken more useful.

much I dis- up too already. just with the that is Kevin agree way paper Tessner, Artinger handled." Copy Editor down here at the

Cord. What most don't realize is that "the cord" comment 13 Thursday March 21,1991

shutdown Alumnus angry over

4 tells the the the tide clearly states the right of me only real issue was The Editor uses summer pursuing proper legal recourse Letters WLUSP to determine what it will who gets to determine what's fit months to learn how to build pub- to ensure this never happens and will not print. to print. lications; to use the equipment again. ...continued I all students and alumni By setting an editorial policy The Editor In Chief is current- and to establish contacts for the urge

for the the Union has this to their opposition to paper, ly a full time staff member. Stuart paper. By slashing funding express violated Stewart is making the situation WLUSU's actions. Write a letter clearly its agreement Lewis is now a I am writing you to express drafting proposal Publications. How not better. to The Cord, write Stuart Lewis, to with Student which would worse, my opposition WLUSU shut- see The Cord in- describes refuse to contribute financial- can the Union claim not to Guy Etherington the and ting down The Cord. As a sig- Editor In Chief position fall to WLUSU. And tell fluence the content of the incident as a major, life changing ly to people natory to the last update to the paper part time over the summer. This when they unilaterally decided event between friends. I would that the Freedom of the Press is a WLUSU/WLU Student Publica- is absolute insanity. If Stuart is as who will have final as to describe it as a the forced fundamental right for all. say is rape ... tions (WLUSP) agreement, I find concerned as he says he about it that WLUSU locked what's fit to print? I imagine the of The the submission of one person (or cor- Sincerely, fascinating content Cord, very in South Africa find them- to the whims of another. The Cord staff out of the offices papers last thing he should do is cut the poration)

selves under the same I trust Student Publications is Dave Wilmering and forced The Cord to adopt operating full time Editor In Chief position.

WLUSU's code of ethics. conditions - it's only safe to print

what the deems ac- In the agreement that I signed, government use of the office space was ceptable. the of Some within WLUSU have Prof granted by payment rent appreciation that there were other fac- There were NO clauses that al- argued the Muse that lowed the Union to lock out The tors (than article) Laurier were not able to fill We the undersigned would the mere regurgitation of names, even Cord staff. lead to the closing of The Cord. that his- like to our regret places and dates does not accom- out teacher evaluations! Further, I find it unfathomable This obviously wasn't the case; in express DeVries tory professor Dr. Kelly plish much. His method of teach- that the WLUSU Executive or order to begin publishing, The of the outcome of will Laurier in Regardless not be returning to is both educational as well as BOD have dictated what's fit to Cord had to allow WLUSU to ing this situation the undersigned the next academic It does choose who year. entertaining and subsequently print. As wrote last week, ar- had final say. That you would like Dr. DeVries to know not that the appear history depart- very effective. that he is a fantastic teacher who ment will grant Dr. DeVries a His students will be greatly missed. He has permanent position and the un- thoroughly enjoy given history life and vivacity, A letter to dersigned do not want him to his classes as they offer a wel- more he come break to sometimes importantly encouraged leave unaware of how well ap- other, to think for ourselves. His preciated he is. uninteresting, courses. For these us methods teaching have served as This fact is dismaying for reasons the concepts taught in Dr. an inspiration for all of us Part II those students who know Dr. DeVries' courses will stay in the espe- cially those of us who intend to Eglin DeVries, as he is an enthusiastic minds of students, replacing facts become history teachers. teacher who has brought life and and figures which can easily be

creativity to a course of study looked up in an encyclopedia. Mr. Eglin, American we sometimes think Kelly, thank you for our voice which has the potential to be It is most unfortunate that this US. tend dis- lives south of the but let's I dislike the I to border, and and our dignity, uninteresting. It is very un- approachable understanding like Americans, mostly because participate in our country at least fortunate that Laurier should lose professor must leave Lauirer's of the attitude that I perceive far enough that people will still the students do such an asset to history pro- faculty and the can as having. Fine. Under- able to see a nation when them be they Jacqui Prohaska Jennifer Del Bel for this reason students of to this. Not Ca- gram; nothing prevent only standable, and quite typically look at Canada. Do you support Joan Klnman Chris Underwood all faculties should "be concerned unfortunate but unjust since stu- nadian. our troops in the Gulf? I do! That Kelly McGuger DJ. Carroll since professors of such quality dents amounts of However, dislike based for pay great Scott Parks Robert Dienesch despite my my respect my country. are rare. for their education and for and money Michael S. Sipes Ann Reimer many things American, I don't have to be super- Kelly DeVries' attitude is that such decisions are Chris Lecontes Craig Toffoll the atrocities of the to arbitrarily despite past nationalistic support my coun- the students have the to dis- made without consideration Robert L. Dawson Scott which and right to Wayne Americans, Israelis, try in a decision that is not cut Kenneth Watt Keith Whitham cover history on their own and them. Last term students at Arabs (as well as everyone else) and dried, do I? I disagree, but I

are all guilty of on inflicting will not say I am not a Canadian!

others, I will not stand for people Never! invading other countries without I am not appealing to If I provocation. stand I am precursory patriotism alone. also ap- and marks and let it should Morality by pass, why pealing to you to take a closer else do about it? anyone anything look at the issue as a whole. Look

And should be something at the actors: the troops, the four The first have years. thing you to do when you done, Mr. Eglin. Something politicians, the leaders of other By James Boyce leave school is get a job and pay it off, a job you should be done for our fellow hu- countries, the Kuwaiti, the Iraqi, leave won't because you'll so damn You the I'm all of asked this when probably get man beings. champion George Bush, etc. sure you question you lonely being away from your friends that you'll get were a snot-nosed do we have to to right of women and even go to a tyke, "Why go Look at the developments and married and maybe have children and then you're moment of irrationality to make school?" the of history the issue—issues really screwed because diapers are expensive as the point, but what about other The answer, whether from teacher, parent or don't come out of nowhere: the hell, not to mention braces, a station and people? What about people other snot-nosed adult, was always the same, "To wagon war, the Iran-Iraq Irangate, incep- of mortgage payments. whose land has been taken in an keep you out trouble." tion of the Israel, Six-Day war, Secondly, your brain cells are systematically act of unprovoked war? What is this trouble they are still keeping us out the relations of arabs to each burned out. You months of of? the of this of plough through eight I AGREE, perhaps we should Maybe changing stinking pit-hole other, the West Bank and the ruthless assignments, term papers, quizzes, test and have waited for sanctions, but a world? Well, let's rev up the monster truck of dis- the Israelis' Palestinians, treat- and then have to the four sent and we, the most in- presentations spent then more atrocities may have explore why supposedly ment of the Palestinians, arab na- months do off over-time and dou- members of our are at school. you get working been committed. Not an easy de- telligent community, tions' reaction to displaced I told To from ble over-time so you can go through eight more cision. As it happens, someone Oops, already you. keep us in Palestinians, the past and months of torment. At the end of these hellish pres- the world, i.e. to the years (our dear Brian, another person I changing destroy revolutionary ent. feel as if been in intellectual that don't PARTICULARLY admire) potential of the intelligent young mind. you you've jail,

time has been served, and there no I Let's look at our role the academics. your ain't way finalized the decision to bring could go on forever before I models, Not exactly them- you're going to think again. Canada into it. Considering the ever reached oil. Yes, it is one of awe-inspiring figureheads. They turned into freak. Even if selves too et al when Thirdly, you are a you mixed pros and cons of the situa- the issues, but it is by no means were busy studying they were students and have any revolutionary thoughts left when you es- tion, I think the time has come to the entire issue! to develop any leadership qualities, to? because of this reward students like them- cape Laurier who are you going to tell them display a little unity. they only Everybody knows that university students are too OK, we're not the mindless Marc van Es selves, those "too busy studying". to a real job. They think so smart in Any students who are involved in non-academic lazy get they're their little idealistic theoretical worlds. drink activities (TAMIAE, WLUSU, the Cord, etc....) can They The and have and live off their expect to lose a few grade points for their efforts. orgies parents money. Partying too. Loud music, vandalism, beer.... And Anyone wasting their time protesting or supporting the in communists, that's where come from, war the Middle East can expect the same. Say they studying Marx in economics and and history and good-bye to B-minus and hello to C-plus because sociology Freaks. morality and marks do not mix. philosophy.

Think about it. Anyway, a few months from now a lot of people Business How many academics took a are to find this out when stand on the war? was that the going all they drag their Well, there guy with

asses out of Laurier ten grand in debt, for drum in the concourse. The rest of them? Moral leaving the hostile "real" world with their brains fried from dead-wood at the podium. The result? Those role section models who should be the leaders of social change too many pop-a-bean-swig-caffeine-burn-out-eyes- instead on-computer-screen nights. will not be seen this week as our hip and happy are the deini-gods of the status quo. The also Unless. university system uses other methods Biz Editor is plugging through Integrated Case kill have of to any thoughts you might changing the in Week. Good luck to third Biz. Next week we examine the role that everyone year world. First, there is OSAP (Oppressing Student will key alcohol in Aspirations of Progress) accumulating for three or plays overthrowing this system. "the cord" I page 14 feature Thursday March 21, 1991

Up here at the Cord we by gonzo journalist Fisher sawdust, and unfolded laundry. rae I. know that you're stressed, Sheffield. For the next two I sat on leather and waited for with coping (or not) with mid­ weeks you can relax, de­ Dub-Dub-Dub to tum around. It stress and just enjoy the was an awkward situation: it had terms, essays and the like so been nearly seventeen months we've decided to lighten only fiction you've seen since I'd last seen Dub-Dub-Dub, your worries with a since last summer's pool­ and a lot had happened in be­ breathtaking work of fiction side novel. tween: I'd broken up with a long­ time girlfriend; he'd started something up with a raven-haired popsicle named Heather; I'd had my watch stolen; we'd gone to different universities: and now it was the last weekend of October, and we'd finally crammed empty our schedules to get together and celebrate old times.

"Who do you have to know to get a drink in this place?" Dub­ Dub-Dub shouted, hands on the bar, palms down and shoulders apart to steady himself as the bartender flitted past him once again. Dub-Dub-Dub looked rough: huge, tom stains down the front of his shirt where the bottles of beer had exploded in his jacket when he fell down outside; blood seeping through the bandages on fmgers that had delicately picked the glass out of his clothes.

...I was horribly self-conscious that I couldn't remember what I was wearing Charles M. Schultz climbs out of his pool and strides over to shake appliance . my hand. His grip is strong, but The next morning I woke up then again, .so is mine. He seems sick and thirsty and with the deep • regret that I'd bluffed my editor It was our second bar of the pleased by this, and breaks into a • night: the first was a Don Cher­ huge, chesire cat grin. /' m im­ into contributing bus fare to get me to an interview with a prorni· ri~ that we'd been refused entry mediately impressed by his hair: nent Hamilton Olympic track­ to m a manner so embarrassing Schultz was doing triclt;-.dives for and-field star. I had arranged no that I wince to retell it now: Dub­ his children when I came in, but d~rwear and a blind-drunk frenzy, such interview, but I was still by Fisher Sheffield Dub-Dub, Morris, and the three his short, tight afro is still per­ wtth an empty bottle of gin in his determined to get a story. So I girls who were with us had al­ fectly dry ... " right hand, and two OVs in his "You supply the pictures, and I'll ready entered the bar when I was started to fake an interview with left supply the war." - William stopped at the door in violation of Charles Schultz, coming up with "Fisher!" Out on the porch. Randolph Hearst, newspaper dress-code. Told that the code a catchy opening paragraph about magnate, instructing his photog­ Dub-Dub-Dub shouted greetings his afro, but since I knew it was was collars or knitted sweaters Dub-Dub-Dub put a can of raphers, 1938 at me, glazing down at the open wrong to say Schultz was black, I horribly self-conscious that i Campbell's soup in the micro­ of the two beers as it started to soon gave up. My editor had al­ couldn't remember what I was wave... We just decided to get weird. spill on my shoes. Then, slowly wearing, I nonchalantly looked ways been critical of stories looking up at me, Dub-Dub-Dub No reason at all. We just decided down to see myself in a ripped-up where. r d changed reality to suit dramatically dropped the bottle of to get strange. The day had been Queen's University sweatshirt ... the story I wanted to tell, so I gin and stuck out his hand to one of sickness, broken glass, and I went in and gathered my knew that he wasn't going to al­ shake, and then stuck out left sloppy journalism firing left and his people, hustling forgiveness for low a black Schultz. right, but now it was pumpkin and with a silly smirk urged me: The night of my arrival at drawing them out into the ~old Dub-Dub-Dub's apartment build­ As I sat down again to write, I time!: as we drifted from garden "Take a beer and come inside: I once again. As we hit the streets, ing we sat with beer and whiskey got a phone call from a girl to garden, Dub-Dub-Dub brought was just watering the plants." the chink of glass on glass was and talked of old things. It had named Siobhan (Editor's note: out the chili-encrusted steak knife I dropped my luggage in the pronounced Shee-vaughn), a girl like a marching rhythm; I'd say been late when arrived in with which we would carve the hallway and followed behind I'd between the six of us we were Steeltown, so our short conversa­ both Dub-Dub-Dub and I had death threats, pentagnims, pausing briefly to open my bee; carrying over a half a case of tion had never gone deeper than gone to high school with. She swastikas, and big obscene smiles and spit the cap out on the floor. beer. Eventually, D-Ub-Dub-Dub talk of old friends and enemies. to}~ me that she'd gone to Mac; into pumpkins everywhere. These By the titiie I got into the living turned fell down and cut himself, but he After about half an hour of feed­ as 1t out, she lived in the we would throw at houses about room, Dub-Dub-Dub was pouring got. up gingerly, removed the big­ ing ourselves alcohol and watch-· same building as Dub-Dub-Dub: the neighbourhood, sometimes beer on a brown, diseased­ how she knew l was in Hamilton gest of the pieces of glass, and ing a late night movie featuring smashing through windows, most looking fern over in the corner. I I •II never know. As Dub-Dub·' our stumble onward was con­ s?me stupid Frenchman burying often not, but everywhere we looked around .•• Dub woke up and stumbled into tinued... his dead horse, but digging the went dark birds looked down at Paintings, bereft of frames, the room, arrangements were hole about 100 feet away from us, and I had the eeriest, panicky stapled as many as thirty times to made for Dub-Dub-Dub and I to "You supply the pictures, and I'll where the animal dropped, Dub­ feeling that if I were to have the wall...a big black leather go upstairs for a visit later that supply a black Charles M. Dub-Dub asked me "Why raised my hand that night, a raven couch, patched up with what I isn't he afternoon. Schultz." digging the god damn hole would have fluttered down and suspect was once a Carleton Uni­ - William Randolph "Fisher Shef­ closer?" And then we went perched himself on my shoulder: versity engineering jacket.. three Dub-Dub-Dub and I went for field" Hearst, 1991 downstairs and outside to the 7- I felt bad. flickering black and white TVs brunch at a Chinese restaurant. Udown the street, and Dub-Dub­ piled one on top of another in the The buffet was $5, so we had the Dub, not thinking about what he It started the night before. By comer•. .a pink flamingo with its waitress take away our menus was doing, put a can of Camp­ the time I found Dub-Dub-Dub's plastic beak cut of(... dead and we went over and dug in. bell's soup in the microwave, apartment, he was already gone. plants .• .and a ".City of Hamilton" During greenish eggs and causing little bolts of blue lightn­ He was still there, only savagely park bench, sitting buried un­ PY Fisher Sheffield greasy sausages, Dub-Dub-Dub ing to jump out from the walls of twisted, running around in his un- derneath a mountain of pizza told me of the unfortunate suicide the microwave and destroy the boxes, old newspapers, hate mail, "Big black muscles gleaming, of a friend of ours named Aez- "the cord" 'the cord" y March 21, 1991 Thursday March 21, 1991 feature page 15

. 0 PART ONE "A story of Friendship and Broken Glass and Journalistic (Q) ITl(Q)\W llml frcece ll fr® wrru Ethics and Sidewalk Royalty ... "

el. Aezrael had gone to school contact with Siobhan. And Siob­ to. We went to high school to­ lth us for something like twelve han didn't look at Dub either, gether for five years, that's all. ars, and he'd had tourette's hadn't even greeted him at the But she has this way," he turns, ndrome, more precisely door: when I mentioned Dub's glances briefly at me, and then :hophalia, the branch of name in the conversation, his pins his eyes on her, "of making urette's characterized by repeti­ eyes stiffened, and he shifted un­ you feel like you have to see her, m of the last word heard in a comfortably in his seat, and Siob­ no matter what, even when you ntence. Aezrael was Japanese­ han would not even glance over don't want to!" ssian, with a weird mop of at him. ack hair that used to get in his After a few moments, I made s whenever he pounded on his the mistake of asking about urns. Aezrael was the one Reuben. Reuben had broken up with Siobhan the Valentine's Day Siobhan ..• kept twisting the ring o'd given Dub-Dub-Dub his on her little finger ;kname: when we were about of our last year in high school, in Ncn, one day one of the guys a cheap and humiliating way that d said something like "Wanna she didn't deserve. Reuben and I Ide sandwiches Dub?" and Acz­ had wrestled together in high el had blurted out "Dub-Dub­ school, and he'd dislocated my He shifts his eyes, pauses, lib". shoulder one day in practice, but 1 runs a hand through his blond Dub-Dub-Dub told me he only was always a better wrestler than hair, walks over and sits beside und out about the funeral when he was, faster, and more vicious. her ott her couch, resumes: 'tzrael's brother mailed him a So for some totally unrecipro­ "So I figured I'd, how'd you cated reason he respected me, and put it downstairs Fisher? 'Pay my klrt letter and a videotape that I used to hear about Siobhan from respects'? So I figured I'd pay my had Dub's name written on it: him. I suppose I knew enough of respects, for having gone to the was a tape that Aezrael had old school together, so I come up­ from him years and their story to save her from him that Valentine's Day, but I've al­ stairs to get it over with. Get it ago, never returned. ~.nd out of the way." At this, he broke subsequently tapetf· over. ways believed that a person creates- their own doom. And off and squinted over at Siobhan; ,,.. ... ling the tape into his VCR, who had yet to say anything. She had found hour guess·· where Reuben had gone to universicy. looked ... sad, but for Dub-Dub­ lio~ of the news clip of the Dub, and the only sigi\ of ner­ ~·Ipening paragraph about here. We have classes together, goof... and what about Heather?--" liobban was aggressively you'll be able to explain it to ut since I knew it was live in the same building, went to But Dub-Dub-Dub was slow­ lappy '· me." the same high school for ~ ly shaking his head from side to y Schultz was black, I At this Dub-Dub-Dub stood side. And then he stood up, up. My editor al· years, all that shit, but still you had up and shuffled over to the walked over to me, took a beer n critical of stories window. Big pause. Thinking. never, ever, ever called me. NEXT WEEK IN THE CORD You've never met my friends. out of one of my hands, took a changed reality to suit Turns: swig, looked at me, ran a hand I wanted to tell, so I Every time we talked, it was al­ SAVAGERY AND SORROW "Siobhan and I have been here through his hair again, sighed, he wasn't going to Siobhan was, and I suspect will ways me going to you .•. But IN STEELTOWN PART 2: at- at McMaster for over a year and walked out of the apartment. Schultz. 1 ays be, the Princess of Smiles now ... Last year I decided that I Reuben--" "VANNA DUG ME" by Fisher Happiness. Siobhan did her down again to write, I was going to make her come to At this he smiled sadly too. I Sheffield... Sheffield bemoans t to be happy, and was happy ne call from a girl ~ if she wanted to say hello, I should have been made un­ journalistic ethics during a pool­ obhan (Editor's note; enever she could be. Siobhan's didn't want to have to talk to her. comfortable by the whole speech, side interview with Philip­ d Shee-vaughn), a girl piness could be annoying at I even avoided her the first couple but instead I only smiled and I went over and smacked him in Michael "Miami Vice" -Dub-Dub and I had es, what with the way she was of times I saw her around. I knew nodded. as if to say 'Go on, this is the bead with a thick book Thomas ...Fisher Sheffield sinks igh school with. She essively happy, and the way we were even in the same apart­ fun. Wheeeef' his typewriter into at she'd gone to Mac; ~ drew smiley faces on the back ment building, but I kept my eyes He fmished: "Reuben goes to "WHIRLPOOL d out, she lived in the kets of her blue jeans, and the open and my head up, you know. McMaster, yeah, that's right. LOVE" ... "spaghetti dinner with a ing as Dub-Dub-Dub: ray she never displayed that pe­ not wanting to run into her. Real­ They didn't come up here togeth­ guy named Morris and three new J was in Hamilton, . c mad-enough-to-spit-nails ly." He turns to look out the er, and all her friends went to I got up and followed, goofily girls" ... the basement story of a know. As Dub-Dub­ 1ge that keeps the rest of us window again, hands on the Queen's or Toronto, but that bopping my way over to the door. Beautiful angel...Dub-Dub-Dub up and stumbled into an and on balance. Siobhan ledge, palms down and shoulders doesn't mean anything." Bitter "Um ... good talking to ya ... gotta falls down and cuts himself many , . arrangements were .s drop-dead beautiful, but I've apart to steady himself. voice. ''And this is the punch line: go ... call him sometime, I'm sure times ... notes from the Hamilton 'Dub-Dub-Dub and I to ays admired women that had a Not turning: "Eventually I ran the guy s)le didn't follow down it'll mean a whole lot more to bar scene ... playing Batman, for a visit later that irk streak to their personalities. into her on the city bus. The bus! here\ the guy who broke up with him than it will to you ... good Fisher Sheffield almost As we sat and made small talk She got on a packed bus, and the her and made her f!Y, that guy talking to ya ... " And then I was drowns ... Fisher drags Dub-Dub­ ut school, I was surprised to only seat not taken was directly she ran into every week." out the door. Dub away from bobby toboggan, ·ub-Dub and I went for d .that Siobhan and the- nub across from me. So she sat down. Really bitter voice. "And the bobby pemican ... the "King and a Chinese restaurant. d many classes Jogetb~r: ~an at­ . all smiles she sat down. I felt am- guy who sits beside her in class, Downstairs, Dub-Dub-Dub Shreds and Patches" and the 1~ was $5, so we had the lost identical schedule. Dub bad bushed, she did all the talking, the guy who lives in the same god had turned on loud music and was "Prince of Gonzo Journalism" ter­ p ke away our menus t mentioned this, and when 1 because I couldn't think of any­ damn building, that guy she never ,drinking vodka shooters in quick rorize Hamilton weirdly, but have nt over and dug in. JOked over at him~ he looked thing to say. And I started feeling saw anywhere." succession. It had been an im­ to get the "Princess of Smiles and greenish eggs and ~n. and troubled. He said noth­ guilty." Long pause. Then, looking pressive display of bitterness and Happiness" to let them back into usages, Dub-Dub-Dub g, eyes drifting around the room Still looking outside the down at the floor, resignation: anger, so I went over and the \milding ... and finally, the the unfortunate suicide t never resting for too long on window, "I told myself I didn't "Ah, I don't know what I'm smacked him in the head with a emotional payoff of this whole ~td of ours named Aez- one object, never inaking eye trying to say." He looks up at me. thick book. "You simp!" I jab- sad, sorry mess . .y want to see her. I had no reason "the cord' 16 classified Thursday March 21,1991

BanoMiMtk bog monkey pbjsian capuchin

the whole floor. Very m- GET INVOLVED! I—TZZ THOSE WITH OPEN MIND AND RIBBONS, CORRECTOR TAPE, room,or allowed, big WLUSU Volunteer PosiUons expensive, pets avail- IVDina ADVENTURIST SPIRITS PLEASE GREATCONDITION!! $600. CALL able "' yard, lots of space, VERY for next year. Deadlineis tomor- RESPOND WITH NAME AND TIM 725-5008 OR 884-2990 parking sublet close to Launer. Available for row! Don t miss out, get involved! PHONENUMBER. ,vnpn I nil i- M WORD PROCESSING. Look no with citdtidtcc Mav-Sept or July-Aug. option 3 777 SURPRISE SOMEONE. Rent a„ SUN FUN further! Fast, reliable, accurate ser- & OUREAU, ™ SeDtember Call 725- girl's pri- OITWWT * SUMMER Create JOBS Springtime Garden lifesize any occasion. vice. Reasonable rates. Call sign vate in is Betty, evenings camp Laurentians, hiring g " Centres Limited is - GETEM hiring retail your own message 886-6361 councelling/sports staff, Unit direc

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Colle or students My ' University Call 416-924-6221 or write mer . ?? ATTENTION ™ ALL BIZ , AND Experienced typist willww taicetake care of f MAY 92 10 MINUTE cxpenencea typist or f Informationf available 91 MAY 9/. 1U MIINUIt, at • preferred. TATI 216 ST CLAIR AVE W t-poxOMTCS STIIDFNrr«!» it'- an needs Fast efficient your *ping 3* Canada In- WALK TO WLU. PHONE (416) Employment TOROOTO M4VIR2 S™" w service. Westmount-Erb area. Phone (March 27). Phone Brian 491-1370 terviewmg has own othcti newsletter TV _ , its official newsletter. The 886-7153. The Toronto Ait Therapy Institute of- Ross at 579-1550 for appointment. ers a ear in are an training We equal opportunity y program House for rent. Available May 91 to This newsletter is for all of you Art Therapy which a diploma. WORD PROCESSING: fast, ac- employer. grants 92 5 10 minute walk SBE so contribute! Next is- May . bedrooms, people,

make Indiviciuals interested in a Masters out first week in and curate, will spelling and minor t0 $275 room. Phone (416) sue April, article College Pro Painters requires reli- WLU. per de offered in deadline is March 22. grammar corrections. (English Grad). ree co- Drop off arti- able g program, 491-1370 , hardworking individuals to cles at Dr. Ramsoomair's Laser Call Suzanne at 886- with should office printer. and this If operation Lesley College - paint canvass summer. you 3857. office feel that can contribute to the contact our at (416) 924-6221. furnished level you Large upper room, Bauman tloor Peters). Pro team and need a summer Student 5, College workshops: January 26; available May 1, option to lease for Word Job. out an application in March processing. Fast, accurate, reli- P February 23; 30; April 27, S Parking,' free fac. l^ J™ ept. laundry To the who turned in career services. person my able service. Letter at com- 1991- quality $200/ mo. or $75/mo in exchange for photocopy "VendaCard" to the main rates. 886-6361. petetive Betty, babysitting 3-4 nights perweek fall/ circ. desk at the Thank BelwoodLodge and Camp. Camp for II library: vou

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WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY I [2l] || |22| |23l I [251 [20] 27

"Perspectives on War" lecture University Chapel Worship Ser- senes wlth Use Friesen .

vice at the Keffer Memorial WOMEN AND WAR. Paul Chapel. Waterloo Lutheran Martin Centre 12:00 - 1:30 . pm. thp in 11.00 Citizens Forum Seminary am. Grace Anderson Memorial Fel- Open

Concourse. lowship Lecture to be given by

Dr. Harriet Lyons "Margaret Mead and the Study of Primitive

Room 202 Cord staff meeting 2:30 pm. Sexuality". 118,

International General Street 3:30 ■; Amnesty Regina pm. reception 5:30 Room 2-112. j Meeting. pm. afterward at The Women's i Open Citizens' Forum in the Centre.

Concourse. Open Citizens' Forum in the Concourse^^^^^^^^^^^^ 17 Thursday March 14, 1991 the scene

c But have and mites to I 1:45am Tfe woods are Covety dee-p, I -promises to keep go before sCeep... Itgbert frost

Mop top Charlatans entrancing

the end of the show. There was of by David Bradfield and drummer Jon Brookes keep listen to that puss-filled sore a not much and I think AM time with the light, danceable applause radio station, 640 "The that the band decided to call it Char- beat of the Charlatans' music. Hog", who've played that -Psychedelia and mop top after the first encore be- of the fact that the band's quits More latans' single into an early What Despite grave, mods? a bizarre concept! the crowd did not seem too show. music is focussed on the Ham- cause can now come to the Who would ever think still mond, Rob remains low receptive. The show was ex- would through- opening the show psychedelia and mods one Anyway, cellent out the whole show, hunched though! Ca- day embrace each other? "Believe the same... was a local band (or at least In a conference before over his like an evil press the organ named The Cave you me," it happened when nadian) Dogs, the show the band answered the scientist in an old movie. Charlatans UK, the hottest band who were pretty good actually, had heard a thou- The show was a total questions they Feizal and Areef Valli alternative experi- by but fall into that on the pop scene, unfortunately before. The Charlatans ence! It proved that do not sand times played their only Canadian date you abyss of R.E.M.-guitar-twang- need drugs to become entranced; UK want nothing to do with the V' to a sold out crowd at the Concert soundalikes. Of course R.E.M. "Manchester X know how sometimes music will do it. Add to the music sound" or the Stone Hall in Toronto on February 24th. never invented the sound but ever

Opening for the Charlatans since they defined it a couple of band called the was a Cavedogs. years ago everything else seems This trio from Boston seemed to hopelessly redundant. with their hard bore the audience And let me just say I've been of folk-rock. Husker Du style is to see everything from The Cult

the closest comparison to this to Aztec Camera at the Concert

I band that can think of although Hall and for some reason the

there is resemblance only a slight crowd, male or female, young or

in styles. I am sure that the old, turn into assassins at the dim-

Cavedogs are a pretty good band ming of the lights and this show but when you are waiting to see was no exception; it looked like

the Charlatans it is a bit of a let an attempt at a democratic elec- #1 down. How can you top a tion in Bogota, Columbia. Add to

chart band? this a constant barrage of

After the Cavedogs finished psychedelic images and lights

their 45 minute set, the Char- that coat the stage and the band

9:30 for duration show latans shuffled on stage at the of the and

These five laid back pm. egotists you have the makings of that

silently embraced their instru- pelvis of hell feeling I'd men-

ments and ruptured the rapturous tioned earlier.

applause of the audience with What's more is that, in the their #1 single "The Only One I British Press, the band has long

Know". Thrust into an instant been associated with the

the audience in of frenzy, bopped, resurgence popularity Gee, don't look too excited. Course, it's not like you're doing anything original bumped into and bounced off of certain psychedelic drugs like anyway... pic: David Bradfield each other to the groove of this acid or X. I truly sympathize with

modern beatnik British band. it in a and there'll be who willingly drops dur- the psychedelic visual effects of Roses (from whom was you're place anyone

Musically, the band is centred their this second when think ing a Charlatans' show - as it 60's style amoeba patterns and reported they developed split you around the sweet syncopated looking into the were being serious optical effect lighting style). These questions were that you're very was, people plucked sounds of Rob Collins' Ham- of hell? (read from the audience strobes to avoided. Instead the band talked pelvis Well, Sunday rescued) with boot, you have a of before the band went mond organ, but in concert the total induced about which hate. February 24 at the Hall For- even on, trip by your ears touring, they of the band is like but saken Souls I had that same and reached an average of five perception totally and eyes alone. Totally natural! They performing they very different. In concert the band is people half-way through There were a couple of dis- never get to see the places they experience. per song dominated the and second the set. by trippy song appointments that I had with the visit. The occasion was the But for those with either the dance of Tim Guitarist new Toronto and only Ca- Burgess. show, though, and they are proba- When asked about appearance, Jon his down right constitution or the set Day flips mop top bly related. First of all the Char- material the Charlatans replied nadian appearance this time right of this and works his as a painter latans about of Manchester's The ear plugs was pure pop guitar only played forjust over an that they have five new around,

would his in con- bliss. Just under two hours of brush, deep hour. Too short. Charlatans U.K. on Secondly, the songs, three of which they per- Riding high centration. Bassist Martin Blunt of what's be frenzy started off surprisingly crowd really lost its enthusiasm at formed. During the show, Tim the crest come to with the aforementioned single, stated something to the effect that known as "The Manchester "The One I and a that includes Only Know", was if you thought our last album was Scene", group followed by almost all of their great wait til the next one! bands like The Stone Roses, The

debut album "Some Friendly" as Writing songs is virtually im- Inspiral Carpets, Happy Mondays

well three or four new num- possible while the band is touring and The Legacy of New Order, as bers. The of the show primarily because they are The Charlatans managed to pack highlight

solid the hall had to be two from the al- trapped on a tour bus (where they cavernous concert songs the bum called and listen to Reggae) most of the time even after changing venue "Opportunity"

which is "not the right environ- from the smaller and long sold- "Believe You Me" and let me just tell if death had ment for writing songs." They out Opera House. you, a sound- also of complained meeting too Now, I won't complain about track, these two songs would be

some of on it. many people, although the venue change because I per- them what The Charlatans are nice, they all say the sonally like the Concert Hall. It So are,

same things. The band com- has that panicky failure-of- essentially, is a really good pop

mented on other such as band who can combine things government feel about it that can buzzing the that American harmonies with Yes-ish crap music is, only be found in countries like organ

and Canadian which do flourishes to create dance- beer, they Haiti or cities like Hull. I won't catchy,

not drink. able that will no-doubt be complain because the reasons are singles Jon Brookes the summed up the obvious; for one thing the Opera played during apocalypse.

Charlatans UK in the press con- House is small and with the addi- And given some time, they could

ference "We're the best." I well become the culture stating tion of another three or four hun- very pop

feel for those of who that they're hailed as now. sorry you dred tickets, the promoters pay gods have not discovered the Char- And all hopefully, without yet the same but make more money, this, UK latans because you really and secondly, the Concert Hall falling into the relative obscurity

don't know what are the you missing. isn't a licensed area so all the of, say, Echo and Bunnymen

Pity! throngs of fifteen-year olds that or the self-parody of U2. "the cord" 18 scene Thursday March 21, 1991 Canuck pre-Rush rock rhythms

formation. Due to factors, 'Greatest Hits' may before Burton Cummings and drive across the country in a package-it's a by Guy Etherington of the the best It As such some songs are not with Burton Cummings. relentless manner late at night. retrospective. the records in sound Master for CD's with quality. tapes The makes want to get up and go. and come a musical Made in Canada songs are, considering you dis- some of the tracks have is on the overview that the Canadian bands, ac- It also the longest song puts in Our Rock 'n' Roll History: they're by songs in or are tied up legal is the cool in their social and appeared tually good. While some of album and 'coolest'; setting gives the Vol 1: The Early Years pretty As of proceedings. a result, some the tunes have that the Them's "Baby, Please BMG Music jangly guitar- way listener a sense of what the music the tracks have been recorded it's the sort of Elvis most have a Don't Go" is cool. sound, Maybe scene was like in Canada in the off vinyl (EEEECK!). But the riff and right noticeable R&B/Soul feel. Songs harmonica or guitar stone ages-er-uh-back then. there rock and ou mean was while the sound isn't to It's quality up such as "Big Town Boy" by Shir- chugging beat. coooo-elll, The lp and CD also contain roll in Canada Rush? if before CD standards, it is not that bad "Fannie Mae" artist ley Matthews, by man. individual notes on the

Hard as it be to believe, the odd and may don't mind pop Robbie Lane and the "Shakin' All Over" is a cover and you Disciples, groups songs (very interest- there is indeed pre-Rush rock crackle here and there. in has "(My Girl) Sloopy" by Little tune recorded 1965 and ing) and pictures of the artists music in Canada and it's Volume One of Made In Can- pretty Caesar and the Consuls and "Half what Bachman calls "The Betcha ten bucks Randy (very funny). ya good too. ada features such legendary, Past the Staccatos The Elvis sound....tape which Midnight" by sound. can't figure out guy in the months a Within the past few household names as Pat Hervey Soul of the have that unmistakable al- echo." The jangle guitar, Guess Who picture is Randy entitled Made In and Richie three volume set (?), Jackie Shane (??), most Motown-sound. These tunes the low thumping of the bass, the Bachman.

Canada has come out document- Knight and the Mid-Knights have such and drums a good groove and sloppy, trashy driving The Early Years are certainly

and tracing Canuck rock (??!). Well, maybe if you ask dance beat that could be Chad Allen's voice ing they and laryngitis early--no digital remastering or music through the 60's up to the parents they'll remember. Motown done Motown middle of your songs by cracking, puberty sampling but they are good years

mid 70's. Volume entiUed there are some better One, Anyway, artists. Volume One is worth it wails, moans and calls rivals Jim for music.

The Early Years, features music known names on the album: just for these songs. Morrison's early days. and bands from the 1960- Little Caesar and the Consuls, stuff. NEXT WEEK: Volume II: years The two best 'rock' songs are Good Great stuff. 1970. Biscuit Boy and the immor- Into the 70's (please hold the King "Corinna Corinna" by King Bis- There are a couple of duds on

First, some background in- tal Guess Who in two versions: bell bottoms). cuit Boy and "Shakin' All Over" the album but remember it isn't a

by Chad Allen and the Expres-

sions (the Guess Who). "Corinna

Corinna" is that a song makes

you want to get in your car and

Which one is

Randy

Bachman?

Alan Thicke,

oui ou non?

THE ENVIRONMENTAL YOUTH CORPS

EARN MONEY WHILE YOU GIVE

￿ AND GAIN A THE ENVIRONMENT

WORK EXPERIENCE A HAND

yj'l'■*£>-; Y A'-vf￿->

EYC the Ontario Information on the Environmental Youth Corps is available The is sponsored by V A'-vfVv y A'

Ministries of and Food, Environment, at your school placement office or career centre, and your Agriculture

and Mines, local Canada Employment Centre for Students, or by Natural Resources, Northern Development

calling the Youth Hotline at 1-800-387-0777. and Tourism and Recreation.

(^I Youth and community-based organizations working together for Ontario's environment, lyi

Ontario

Cette information est egalement disponible en frangais. "the cord" scene 19 Thursday March 21,1991

Awakenings will put you to sleep

in processed. There's enormous Sacks is renamed Sayer the by Jennifer Epps potential in this story of post- movie and is played by Robin encephalitics, survivors of the Williams. Sayer is assigned to

Penny Marshall's Big worked 1916-1927 sleeping sickness Bainbridge Hospital, where he ar- because jumping on trampolines epidemic, who were awakened rives, fresh from research on in find and dancing on giant keyboards from their helpless, dazed state earthworms, dismayed to

of the late "miracle have work had a kind Zen of childhood sixties by a that he will actually to simplicity that touched the Peter drug", only to begin, a short with homo sapiens. Soon, how- Marshall's while show sad- Pan in all of us, but later, to serious, ever, he develops a fondness for side effects. It's dis- Awakenings isn't half as seduc- dening, very his patients, and begins to suspect

The matter is much to see Oliver Sacks' zombie-like be tive. subject appointing their stares may

Marshall and medical become an- more complex, yet account just broken by a drug, L-DOPA,

writer Steven Zaillian to other illness-of-the-week successful with script try spec- which had proven it make us swallow pre- tacle. Parkinsonians. He is given

i , '' permission to try the drug on one

patient only, and he chooses

Leonard (Robert De Niro).

The initial results go beyond

his wildest dreams. Leonard,

formerly unable to speak, walk, Robert De Niro and Robin Williams-buddy pals.

move his eyes, or feed himself, is Zaillian's Marshall is mainstream Hol- and he wants script conveniently suddenly up flying; the other nineteen that's she was hired. field he ignores case lywood, why to go out on trips, wants make histories, so we don't have to This was a film intended to to fall in love, he wants his

with the of It seem to contend mystery money. may ungrateful mother to stop hovering. Sayer the movie diversity. At the same time, the gripe, because might then administers the drug to the patients' original plight is ex- not have been made at all, and the rest of the post-encephalitics in Leonard wasn't the studio wanted the doctor and the ward, with similar results. aggerated. vegetable he is here before L- patient to be a man and a woman, The days in Arcadia are short- interest. The film- DOPA, he was the librar- for the love lived, however, for the drug hospital downbeat ian, and he wrote book reviews- makers kept the opens them up too much, it truth, after he just couldn't turn the ending-they told the pushes them to excess, to uncon- pages, retained Leonard's and needed a letter board to com- all. And they scious movements, or tics, and

You a description of himself, taken from unmanageable emotions and municate. see, there's lot in the Rilke, as a panther a desires. of time spent in the film on silly, poet

But should we out of our shopworn business, (these are the cage. go Though Sacks' constant filmmakers roles played by Penelope Ann way to congratulate references to poetry and philoso- Miller, Julie Kavner, and John for having a modicum of in- phy, music and chess, indicate a Isn't that their And Heard) and there's little left over tegrity? job? person interested in everything, a as an audience, isn't it our job to for what would be genuinely new. person getting the most out of the best? Shouldn't It's a real shame, because expect very life, Sayer is written as a timid and De Niro we reject compromises? afraid of Williams are per- recluse, new experi- fectly cast. They both are unique Too much of the time we ences. The purpose of that is a thinkers and they seem at their treat movies like prescription tidy message about seizing the when best playing unique drugs; we to them expecting day. It's a hackneyed theme, but go thinkers. Their performances are they will make us feel a certain it's what the movie-rests on. is enjoyable-Williams' Sayer so way. We buy an upper or downer,

physically awkward and jumpy or both in one. But the best

by: he seems worse off than his movies fool you, they have un-

De Niro's Leonard has foreseen side effects. F.B.I. Agent patients; a They're fuzziness to his speech when he more like the drugs Carlos

MARTIN WALKER S. PEAKS first begins to speak that is more Castaneda and Hunter Thomp- BEAT

than all the son heart-warming syrupy investigated: dangerous.

sentiments later-but you can't Stepping to a box office Twin I for up Divi you miss me? I certainly have missed Peaks as of late. But boy do have some news you help feeling that it's all too easy should be a little like stepping Peaksters! First of all, ABC Network has generously decided to air the remaining six episodes of Twin Williams Niro for them. and De onto a mine field. Going to see Peaks. The Global Network has decided to air them starting Wednesday March 27 at 9pm and every are each so completely original Awakenings is mostly just like Wednesday after that. Yee haw! I was talking to Agent Dave Hamilton (Director of Public Rela- that Hollywood rarely knows walking into a closet. tions...WOW! I talked to the Chief himself!) concerning these episodes and he was unable to confirm the what to do with them. rumor that ABC would be running a special episode summarizing everything to date. As for ABC, they'll this doesn't be running their episodes on Thursdays opposite Cheers. This ain't good. Let's all pray that

bccome the burial spot for Twin Peaks. We'll all find out for sure when ABC announces their fall sched- ule in mid-May.

This doesn't mean that the war is over! ABC is an evil network and will continue to try and crush any-

thing that is God-like. We must continue our onslaught. I have received about a dozen petition slips...but in the that ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! Continue to send following petitions to me by dropping off the peti-

tion that the of the column the Cord offices located the third floor of appears at end to (conveniently on

the Stuey-Lewis-and-the-News Union Building). Even you Peaksters that have already filled in a petition

can fill in since it's for real I am the address of the another a new petition. Also, you keeners, publishing ABC Network if would like write in you to yourself:

ABC Network c/o Twin Peaks

1330 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY, USA

10019

As I the can't be verified. Confidential sources a final note...something heard through grapevine that yet

close ABC is Twin Peaks at the end of the season for an- to the producers say that considering renewing have o' and other 13 episodes! Grrreaatttt! Let us all pray...and a cup jo some doughnuts. What is this man doing? P— A) Looking for his contact lens ■ I'm to see Twin Peaks back... his shoes J really quite happy B) Throwing up on

PEAKS will be back ...but I am still quite concerned that TWIN not next year. C) Checking his hairpiece

This worries me still a bit, however. It's really a show and David | quite nifty Lynch| Who Cares! It's Roger from Out of This cool show. | should get a Nobel Prize or something...because Twin Peaks is a really | Came That and they're a damn fine band. I We thank fine for Twin Peaks but don't be evil I you people bringing back, please Catch them live at i show! I and cancel our show again. Seriously though, please renew our Phil's Grandson s Place I Sincerely: The TWIN PEAKS Fan Club atWLU | Wednesday, March 27th at Bpm j "the 20 scene cord" Thursday March 21,1991

Anne Rice a witch? Burn her!

for the resurrected my longing most wonder about whether or Another pleasurable, if not and princess of darkness. princes not this is fiction or fact. touch of self-indulgent Rice is the They tell the story of Another Riceian touch is her of her books peppering with the

vampires that walk us of the lush of her among unequalled depiction poetry husband, Stan Rice. both ancient today, and young. and romantic settings of much of Stan Rice's have poems a re-

The "Vampire Chronicles' are her novel. New Orleans becomes obscure markable, yet real talent

rich and romantic. The characters of untold secrets to a treasure trove practice images we feel but

seductive, dangerous and and Rice, a na- can't pas- magical spaces. necessarily see. "And the

sionate. These tales are not the tive from the 'Big Easy' writes, rain is brain coloured, And the of tales of bloodthirsty, Christopher "He smelled that smell again a thunder sounds like something re- Lee but of New Orleans house in monsters, rather, tales summer, membering something." of a race superior beings who rule heat and w00d... a long violet- My advice to you; sit down

the humans houses on a dark night stalking and gray town shady with the one love you (or like a and corner in the Garden District, its living extraordinary secret little in case) and my read this to lives. front it seemed, by gate guarded, each other. It's horror, romance, In her latest The Witch- enormous oaks." the book, two By way, and adventure mystery and a darn ing Hour, Rice turns her talents New please pronounce Orleans, to a few sexy way spend even- the world on shadowy of NORLINS. Accents appreciated. ings. witchcraft. She illuminates the

lives of a cursed family over the

of four span centuries. The fam- ily Mayfair's talents include; Music Notes

poetry, philosophy, incest and by ChrisSkalkos murder as well as gifts of sight and a heritage of witchcraft.

The Mayfair's trace their for 1967**After playing only seven dates as the opening spot The heritage back to the first after to family's Monkees' US tour, Jimi Hendrix quit the package refusing

witch (always a significant mo- 7-12 Monkees fans. tone down his act for the age group "teenybop"

ment), Suzanne of Mayfair, a 1977**Elvis Presley was pronounced dead at Memphis Baptist Scot who summons a powerful by Louis Grey Lucas/Spielberg-remote control- He Memorial Hospital. was laid to rest in a white marble mausoleum which haunts the anything is possible-80's and I spirit family near his mother where 75,000 people were present for his funeral through the was growed and I discovered ages. be up which was considered to the biggest media event of the decade. -Ever The book, in Rice's since I was a little kid I Ann Rice. typical Beastie British the UK tabloid style is ripe with her standards. 1987**Prior to The Boys' tour, press always wanted to believe in the Rice is the author of now The Talamasca return in chapter has been running horror stories about Beastie hooliganism, spitting vampires. But you know, those Interview with the the inclusion of 21-foot in legendary, 1. The Talamasca is a secret matches on stage, and a hydraulic penis were the post Viet Nam-disco Vampire as well as its sequels which first in their show. ball-I'm OK-sexual revolution- society appeared stage The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the 'Vampire Chronicles'. The we don't believe in nothing-70's, STAR QUOTE the Damned. The three books, society's "We watch and and I was a little pink product of motto, "I'm wake each which the from revolu- afraid to up morning. Everything is so I span ages we are always here" indicates going fine for those times, but never forgot the believe a I tionary France to Old New Or- me that I can't it's not dream. just hope it lasts." fantasy. their longstanding vigilance over leans to the modern rock world the supernatural world. It is Elvis Presley in the earlier stages of his career. then Then came the techno-blitz- back to Ancient Egypt, make details like this that you al-

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Tafelmusik:

aural adventure

ductorless, yet brilliant direction by Carolyn Saunders of Jean Lamon, Tafelmusik gave

selections such as Sinfonia Con-

J. here is in beauty many things certante for violin and viola in E

this and last Wednes- of planet, flat Major, K.364, a magical qual-

one of them appeared day night, ity that one can only describe as at The Center in the Square, pure beauty and perhaps the es-

Tafelmusik. This ac- highly sence of the existence. The

Canadian or- claimed baroque audience was near exhaustion the audience chestra treated not after this most brilliantly lead rich and their to the Centre in the a only to sparkling per- mind dance was completed. Viola Toronto's Tafelmusik brought baroque selections Square but also historical formance, to a soloist Stephen Marvin allowed Bocchenini and Mozart and drove the crowd into while back. They focused on Luigi aural adventure. Playing selec- inter- Mozart new life through his Boccherini and tions by Luigi pretive musical movements and a frenzy. Mozart, the audience was lulled his complement violinist Cynthia into a sense that this was not Roberts transcended both the music of another century, but minute and the music creating for modern in is directed have heralded Lamon as one, and Toronto's Conserva- rather a new creation of the audience sheer musical founded 1979, by Royal

violinist Lamon who both "who has shown herself to be a of Music. time. eroticism. Jean tory conducts and Critics most able director, leading her Under the seemingly con- The Tafelmusik, performs. group, The acclaim of this orchestra players with an unobtrusive has been overwhelming in authority." Europe, United States and Cana-

Within performance it is da. Having toured extensively

Lamon's North and Thrash's word high energy and com- throughout Europe, spoken plete passion for the music that South America, they will make translates to the audience her total their Asian debut this season.

devotion to her craft. Lamon's Within Canada, the 1991 season

Saunders blameless. keep themselves and in music by Carolyn to escape Indicting submerging specialization baroque will find them touring throughout it. everyone of the crime is Rollins' liking Angst and depression has given her not only top stand- the North and the West, with such

and while were the His movie within her field, but has also speciality, you are keys to living. ing stops as Red Deer, Alberta, and Words these days often have another asshole laughing at in plot for "Manic Depressive Man" allowed this orchestra to achieve Inuvik. Closer to home Tafel- a hard time being understood. he would turn on the international stature. When not life, quickly came complete with enough musik can also be seen at Victoria What one means to say and what Lamon divides her lights so you could see that you violence and anger to keep the performing, Hall in Coberg, Markham Theatre is heard are often two totally dif- were only laughing at yourself. whole family coming back for teaching skills between Wilfrid in Markham, and Talbot Theatre ferent universes. But the spoken of The highlight of the evening more! Laurier, University Toronto in London. word of thrash? punk? GI Joe for me was Rollins' long tale guru Henry Rollins was loud and about his debate with Jack clear and completely hardhitting. in New York. T.O. Thompson Thomp- Rollins' appearance in Sat- son the bible-thumping southern urday night was mindblowing to lawyer who fought to censor 2 say the least. Live Crew became just another Covering topics such as larger than life character in the racism, sexism, drugs, and life, tale. Rollins ended this with Rollins story kept up two nonstop a hardhitting challenge for all to hours of sheer wisdom dispens- fight against the fatal axe of ing. Unlike many others in life, censorship for not only is it Rollins holds no punches and al- destructive...but lows his audiences to feel the full just downright stupid. force of his anger and his dis-

for Rollins is like a satisfaction at the pitiful state of Happiness bathtub full of and human existence. His mixture of tepid water

those who are always happy just humour and reality allows none

THE HIGHLANDS

Thurs. March 21

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.• v. : ■'; v .. 22 scene "the cord" Thursday March 21,1991 Jerry Jerry is great great

Indigo Girls Gotta outta bed a ently a re-release, but regardless, get get thoughtful pose The second real nomads, indians, saints ear-catching hammer and a nail Gotta tend the earth this album is a classic. if on side one is you song entitled "in- An Unknown Record Company Learn how to use my hands, want a rose. Refreshing, fun, challenging ternational young thing". Un- I the look behind my ears for notjust my head and more than intriguing, Jerry fortunately, it's a bit too top 40- I think has created the of green myself into jail Jerry epitome ish for This my liking, with new release, following happy-go- smells clean Now I know what "fun fer dollar" is Even my sweat a refuge never your sup- lucky vocals, gentle guitar last year's strong self-titled al- and Glare posed to be all about. off the white hurts my grows tentative drumming. bum, continues in the Indigo From chin I a a in a hand in a haven't heard band enjoy eyes Lastly, on side Girls' tradition of stirring lyrics one, "right playing this much since The here, right now" sounds like and acoustic guitars. the rhythmic Tabernacle Bourbon Choir, and I original J.J. once knew. Dance- This is their third album (the first I'm not afraid of putting Jerry able, upbeat, energetic was Strange Fire in 1987) and and into their Jerry category. Jerry alternative enough to make they have clearly found a solid Jerry plays much different music Madonna fans puke. place in music today. than does BTC (it's even more On the flip side, Doubt's Amy Ray and Emily Saliers country/blues based), but as for doubt kicks in. Too much is hail from Georgia and their mel- got and JJ talent playing as one unit, low and too much of it start thanks to some fellow sounds and BTC level. are on an equal like Jesus Jones wasn't sure what Georgians, REM, with whom "Pushin' For Jesus" is what they wanted to the Green accomplish. The they played on tour. Jerry calls "A rock and roll reli- drums begin to pound again on Their music can only be called gion standard for all the kids." "stripped", but the guitar work is beautiful, relying on both of their The song consistently pushes the basically one note and a lot of strong voices and startlingly good word to limits. "enjoyment" new fuzz the "strips" song of any real guitar work. Their songs are also On "Free Love", Jerry dance potential. characterized by two-part demonstrates a more philosophi- It's hard not to compare harmonies that are counterpoint be cal side: "could a true story. Doubt to Liquidizer because I woven together with impressive No one knows for sure." And liked the latter so Doubt ease. much, then he sings that "There's no makes me doubt whether J.J. They combine upbeat with was such thing as free love/There's rushed into making it. In slow, angry with glad and philos- any nothing for free on God's green case, there's a lack of with rock 'n' roll in their a sense of ophy God's earth/except, maybe, green direction on Doubt and I can own But in only stylized way. no case earth." hope they pull it back on their do they sacrifice the impact of next otherwise their work; Jesus Jones poetic words for an easy could be liquidized from too The single. songs hold their much doubt. meaning long after the first listen Get it, but don't blame me if and their meaning doesn't leave you hate it. you when you turn off the stereo. Colin Buehler Powerful stuff.

On last year's album, they King Tee

were helped by both REMand At Your Own Risk

Hothouse but this Rowers, year Capitol

they mostly go it alone. On the is new album, there little or noth- I hate to admit it, but I never

ing that leaves the listener want- completely listened to all these

for fan ing, even a who was songs. But I wanted to, really; it

worried they wouldn't be able to had an explicit lyrics advisory

pull it off as well this time. and, well, that intrigues me.

bad If you're enticed, pick up last But this is (not good bad, EVERYONE year's, too. Together, just like but bad bad, it makes me sad- and make I better than Amy Emily, they a per- there, just rhymed

fect pair. King Tee). I mean real bad! I saw

Joe Wiebe Tee on "The Ma- What makes Jerry Jerry so in- King Party chine" by accident last week and triguing is his ability to cross mu- and the Sons of Jerry Jerry I thought it might me an sical boundaries. There's a few give op- IS AT THE Rhythm Orchestra to change different flavours: country, R&B portunity my opinion Battle Hymn of the Republic and "medieval rattle". And for of him. But no! He's even worse Records Aquarius live, I've never heard someone those slow-dance lovers, "Hurtin' who flat of the key. Her (Won't Make You A Man)" raps song's The Montreal Gazette hailed If is the for you're going to swear, King song you. this one as "one of the ten best Tee, make it rhyme or don't And if you want new words, releases of the 80's." It's appar- swear at all. In fact, why bother listen to "Wazoo". It's not as reli-

even paying for "Explicit words" giously spiritual as "In the Hands when here at WLU we have the Great Grad Portraits of the Lord", but it'll uplift you least CordP. But King Tee can at all the same. I'm say "You know what Great Prices Battle Hymn has it all, except what I'm sayin'?", you know recognition nationally let alone I sayin'? On the first two songs, locally, so get out there and buy count that phrase 7 times at least. it. His next album should be out This guy's brain must have soon (it was due in February) if SATURDAYS melted the 3-Mile Island during it's not out already. Goody- On "Introduc- episode years ago. goody, Jerry Jerry's great-great! tion", King Tee warns everyone • personalized sittings who doesn't buy his album that Colin Buehler • choice of kill supersaver or he'll "come over and your

deluxe sittings ass." Is this 9fi Jesus Jones mother-fucking FREE B4 • convenient appointmenLs Doubt biologically possible?--my • free permanizing is used for Capitol/EMI/Food glutimus maximus not Photographed elsewhere and it be. incestual episodes, nor can don't best? Deduct look your think Tee After the Jones' Anyway, I King DON'T BE DISAPPOINTED their setting fee from your Liquidizer, uses 1 drum beat throughout order with us. first album, Doubt is appropriate- only the album, which is handy if you Featured ly titled. There is a hesitancy in Super musical have no or confidence that permeates most energy any GET HERE EARLY Saver And he Special of the album, and it makes me qualities imaginable.

bad too, so what you wonder why they hold back in en- rhymes do? You know what I'm ergy so frequently. gonna ? I'm on knees prayin MARCH 16 ST. PAD topic Doubt begins confidently sayin'? my I"'"" this make sense? You seem y camera fee $15 enough with "trust me", described Does I ni THIS PS ONE OF SEVERAL SUPER SAVER PACKAGES what I'm tense? You know what by Jesus as "...I know back and You're on doing! Set up, check levels, run sayin"? your UNIVERSITY I'm King Tee. tape, play, go and do something layin'. Hey, maybe DAY PARTY! PHOTOGRAPHERS DY'S bad- real else." This takes where Colin says: sucks ASSOCIATES song up Liquidizer leaves off: hard driv- don't get it! Call 749-7000 341 Marsland Drive, Waterloo ing guitar, thrashing drum and Negative 5 stars. 258 King Street North, #12C ice-box vocals. Colin Buehler *. ■• - "the cord" scene 23 Thursday March 21,1991 Great White do great blues

constitutes the add it of catchy blues based that almost always to my already too-hard, White that I originally had, that it up songs by Tom Pugliese like "Cold Hearted Lovin'" second release of hard rock raucous collection for burnt-out is just another heavy-metal, FM (a any these One of these metal bands. Great White with song about a material girl), "Con- album days. Hooked radio-based band, then you are "Lovin' is this release will make a nice in go Square" and"Desert Moon" songs, Kind", very Great White hardly the minority. Great melodic with characteristic soft from the dime-a-dozen, White fits into (tunes with hometown good-time a change EMI neatly the heavy at the heart of it The rock that holds the 'cookie-cutter' hard rock metal category of music perhaps jams all). rhythm sap. groups

on Hooked are Hooked is a solid release from that have over-listened more for their and remaining songs you may "There's always more than meets appearance like what record execs I Great White and it a in the Give Hooked a off-stage antics than for their suppose represents to past. the eye to as ballads. But Great musical for this band. if have the music. There is much regard progression listening to you ever Sometimes a smile can hide a lie. not on White seemingly takes out the I originally had no intention of chance because with Great White, Learn't me the hard way don't it Hooked that is really hard rock, and melancholy predictability on to this cassette but there seems to be a little more show but the material is very catchy hanging

that comes with the slow stuff after a few listens I decided to than meets the eye. and will know." and it still retains a hard edge that S'listen up you

"Cold Hearted Lovin'"- would represent an alternative for

hard-rock listeners who have Great White any perhaps banged his/her head one

too-many times. "Call You may have heard It it "alternative heavy met- Rock 'n' Roll", the first single. al". Call it "blues-based hard for the This tune sets the pace what will but rock". Call it you rest of the album. Described as a the bitten...twice once shy guys good-time rock 'n' roll song, it is titans. But he is at the Gardens on the 22nd though II that have heard and rIF really want to, I guess you could go to Uof you may an anthem for a celebration and you ) THEN wouldn't the bum. are most familiar with 1 Guelph tonight and catch Holly Cole and go support which you escape from what Russell de-

released album. Great "all (to UofW to see her AGAIN at Humanities Theatre have a new scribes as this s—t going ) to I guess I don't really have mention the fact thatf White has followed up its multi- down in the w0r1d..." The second /on Friday. V Wilcox is the Turret ...Twice of 1989 David at on Saturday. I platinum Shy lp cut, "Original Queen of Sheba",

/ While it isn't quite warm enough to be so, the Bare \ with Hooked, the band's seventh is one of the more hard-edged at 1 Naked Ladies are at the Albion in on Here's a big one-the Sisters of Mercy are Fed / release and arguably their most Guelph Hall on Monday night. Ahhh, who needs 'nillai solid effort yet. (Thursday. J I Described by lead vocalist Alternative anyway?

\ to the a ) Jack Russell as Great White's Bop Hopping Penguins, very good band, /at Tavem in will strike V the Commercial Maryhill on Friday. If Even though bigmouth not again, most enjoyed recording so far, heavy metal 1 one needs directions come to the Cord of- Clarence Gatemouth Brown will strike at Pop the / Hooked leaves nothing out for the any up C and I'll fices give 'em to Gator on the 26th. \ avid fan or the new listener. This ya.

1989 Grammy-nominee band tunes on this lp but, without a ) \ One of the better names for a band I've heard Holy Folk! Connie Kaldor, Ferron, and James continues its commitment to doubt, the most immediately ap- / recently is Hank Sinatra and the Honky Tonk Kellaghan will be at the Humanites Theatre on the \ "hard-rockin blues edged tunes" pealing of all on Hooked. Nightmare; they'll be doing it their at the Al- 29th. / with their 1991 lp and for the "Can't Shake It", "Heart- ] way I bion in Guelph. \ most part they are successful in breaker" and "South Bay Cities" J And for the weekly Bourbon update, The Bourbon l fulfilling this persona. sum up the more higher paced Commercial much for 'rap hero' Vanilla Ice playing the Tabernacle Choir is at the Tavern on / If you have shared the same tunes on the album. jSo ( skateboard for the soul. misconceptions about Great The rest of Hooked is made Twist. an celled; sorry al j 29th.^Ahh^it'sjood _

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™BS>| *li "the 24 scene cord" Thursday March 21,1991

Turtles'

Pre- and Release Buy early Review break for 50% off—

by Gus Garred Dublin away Coyne Etherington-meister of the week.

Yes, even before the smash-

ing success Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtles II is released, a review is much very possible.

The sequel to TMNT is, as a production in cinematography and the art of film making, a lot like the first.

Those wacky, toxically

poisoned reptiles from the sewers

of urban U.S.A. are as violent and

of the "bad savage as any guys"

they intend on pounding into

snot, oh, I mean, into responsible, upstanding citizens.

Last summer, I had the un-

fortunate occasion to view

TMNT, and was quite shocked at * IMIWI Jf the graphic violence displayed on

the screen.

In I fact, guess I was too old

to handle such fantastic ideals of

" JBPliil. .: i : good, as Dirty Harry had nothing >:- I

on the reptiles from the sewer pit

of adolescent taste and example setting.

I Bambi have mean may been

wimpy and may have been

crushed by Godzilla but he was

darn cute and the kiddies and

even the grown ups understood the message. The non-violent

message.

And he did set an example.

Okay, now I'm an avid fan of

Bugs Bunny and while he is

violent the violence is sort of

funny. It is done for laughs. And even if the rough stuff isn't amus-

ing the witty repartee is. TMNT

seems to be violent for the sake Tickets must be purchased of violence-it's not a matter of good versus evil but a matter of at least 5 days in advance. "LET VIA TAKE YOU AWAY" beatin' the of pizza out every one Contest -from March 11 to for the sake of a good ole fash- Seats are limited. ioned whumpin'. Yes, VIA Rail's 50% student discount every TMNT applies 30,1991. Now, isn't a cartoon, April of the week, and included. So but neither was Gumby. Although day Friday Sunday often? the not more Nothing beats YOU Could win a for two train my memories of the Gum-meister why get away trip by

for comfort - there's are dim and I seem to train stretch-out, walk-about pretty hazy _ maximum value of $500 remember a moral now and meal with served on most every » even a light beverage . an then. And, for cryin' out loud, relax. Just pick entry routes. It's a great place to . .or even study! person. up the voice of Pokey was reason- form where train But discount on yOU buy your kinda like and seats are limited, especially Spock everyone routes. So be sure to ticket ticket at a VIA Rail Station. And let knows Spock could do no wrong. busy buy your well advance. He wasn't even violent but he in take fantastic VIA you away on a full was of good advice—no Call a travel agent or VIA Rail™ for full details. train this Slimmer! violent advice and that's good for journey

￿ Tickets must be purchased 3t least 5 days in the kiddies. K)i ivrPinQF* OnPKi f~D u Lnubt; lu iVU H ' rieLCbbury. upun advance. • 50% Student discounts apply to full-time If one wants to get literary students with I.D. for Coach travel in the Quebec all full-time students 18 old about the whole thing, the Turtles years • is lim- City/Windsor corridor only. Seat , . ■ ~ availability , ~ ~ can be seen as the United States of and OVeY enrolled m a ited and varies depending on the route and day participating the taking on bad that guys lac d udin Easter l?/el^ koU^eri ly' in^' 9 university. Ask for full details and the evil God-less Com- , Aa^ represent 15 - Jan. 28 - ApriH) and Christmas (Dec. 3) (Mar. . ~ •/ munist/non-democratic Scum of Conditions at VIA Rail periods'A 10% Student discount applies any time stations. the Earth who don't like Cincin- for regular unrestricted travel (no advance purchase).

nati. In I • conditions check. a highly ironic tangent, Other may apply; please find it particularly interesting that

' as the symbol for the U.S., the

Turtles are exceedingly ~-J

, deformed. What does that tell ya? fj The movie, in all seriousness,

I'S 1; is actually WAY too violent for %i-

too young people and WAY juve- -ySfj\

nile for anyone attending this uni- versity and justly reading from —IZ/VlfciAj this newspaper. Thursday March 21, 1991 Brock Greenhalgh, Editor 25

SPORTS

WLU Nine-baller captures gold

from who would to bring home the gold in the nine the field had been nar- been some problems earlier in the by Brock Greenhalgh players Laurier Sunday took ball rowed down to four in finals, competition when the two teams Cord Sports attend the tourney and with group. the Thornton mission but Thornton be from Waterloo them Ben Douangprachanh, Rick was on a could not arrived together

and since second last in matched. In his first competition and found that the tables were not During the weekendof March Demester, Jamie Senese placing year what had The Bth, six students from Laurier Dornadeen Laughton. Douang- the same tournament, and he was of the day, he totally dominated they expected. team

determined to make 1991 his the weaker 9-1. As luck was able to themselves to- took time out of their busy aca- prachanh and Demester were able year opponent pull

9 in on the nine ball table. would have he the gether and some re- demic schedules to travel all the to place sth out of the men's Spectators it, met same post very

the Graham at last year's match claimed that in the finals and it spectable play. way to capital (that's Ottawa doubles competition, opponent put Dinkel took of 18 in Neil should have the with 9-2 win. for those of you who lose at Jeop- 9th out captured away a Look for other tournaments to title but did work ardy) to take part in the Inter- men's singles in snooker. then, things not Teams from Ottawa, Guelph, take place in the coming weeks, In the of Snooker Nine Ball was to out that eight university and Dornadeen Laughton able way. group Carleton, Queen's, Western, possibly in the games room. If

and with women's players, the Laurier student was and U of tournament, came away capture third in the McMaster, Waterloo you are interested in travelling to

few winners. Graham Dinkel It Neil able to set a 6-1 record in round- the skill of a competition. was Toronto could attest to any the university tourneys and Neil Thornton had chosen the robin on the Thornton, however, who was able play Saturday. By shown by Thornton. There had contact either Neil or Graham. Hoop Update

by Chris Read

Cord Sports

With the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament under our col-

lective T.V. viewing belts, it's time to look at who remains: The

Sweet Sixteen. With 64 teams starting play last weekend, many of the favourites still remain. In fact, three of four regions have only the

four top seeds in contention. Only the East region, which lost both first Syracuse (#2) and UCLA (#4) in the round, have any real long-

shots still in die hunt. v Let's take a look at each region in detail and try to decide who this the Final will emerge after weekend to make the trip to Four. EAST: Most observers think this region has cleared out well for bo North Carolina. In their first of two possible weekend they Ram games, take on the surprising East Michigan Hurons. The Hurons, a number in OT. pic: 12 seed, beat Mississippi State and then Penn State This game

features two Canadians, Montreal native Rick Fox for NC and Al-

monte's Kory Hallas for EMU. Fox is the catalyst for the Tar Heals Wheels turn B-ball and is playing outstanding basketball. North Carolina should win for handily but watch for EMU centre Marcus Kennedy to give NC a tough game. by Brock Greenhalgh start by netting the first 2 points. By the end of the In the other Eastern semi-final, senior guard Mark Macon lead the

the team from WLU Owls Oklahoma game, were allowed a few Temple (#10) against (#3) State. The Cowboys have Congratulations to Wilfrid Laurier's Sigma Chi more on the combat the well all and should have trouble Macon's rol- players court to help oppo- played year no ending Fraternity who decided to take on the K-W Spin- sition but it was to no avail. One star for ler coaster college career. in Basketball shining ners a game of Wheelchair last week Sigma Chi was Aidan Tracey, the top scorer and SOUTHEAST: The top four seeds are left here, with #1 Arkansas at Forest Heights Collegiate. The team was able to MVP. game Tracey was able to net six of the 22 facing #4 Alabama. This should be one of the best weekend match- raise over two thousand dollars for Kitchener

points for his brothers. ups. Alabama is led by forward Melvin Cheatum, a member of the Waterloo Access-Ability from the generous dona- Tournament All-Name Team. The Tide are playing well but will have tions of the students of Laurier. The night's festivities began with the singing of the all-round talent of Arkansas. Look for their D the Canadian National Anthem to overcome stifling Although the team did run into their share of by none other than to Alabama to sneak did loss Richard Choi, one of the members of cause enough turnovers through. problems, they post a respectable 87-22 the fraternity. and organizer In the other Bob Knight takes the Hoosiers against Kansas. against a much more mobile and professional Spin- Captain of the event Mike Watt game, seemed with the The Hoosiers are playing well and look to have the composure to ners' squad. The Sigma Chi team showed some pleased display of talent that his defeat the smaller marked improvement during the second half of the team showed in their last fundraising event of the Jayhawks. MIDWEST: In this Ohio State the balanced 16 22 school A reminder to all match-up, plays attack, game, posting of their points, and rallying the year. those who have not their fees, the Chi have with all five starters averaging over 11 points a game. They do have crowd of almost 100 to their feet. The onlookers paid Sigma guys not forgot- ten problems shooting from outside and this could create problems did their part, starting a "wave" in the highschool you. John's. The O A thanks against St. Redmen play good and D, and have a good auditorium, but unfortunately for the fraternity special goes out to K-W Access- chance to upset OSU, Look for it to the wave could not to fire of the Ability for their happen. squad, quench lending resources to the team, in- In the other #2 Duke #11 UConn. Duke will advance wheelchairs. game, plays Spinners' onslaught. cluding Keep your eyes open next without for a problem. Shafeeq Bhatti got the team off to a tremendous year more special events by Sigma Chi. WEST: Saving the best for last, UNLV has survived their first test against Georgetown last week. They should have little trouble in the

next round against Utah. But watch out, the Hoyas proved that The

Rebels are beatable, especially with the injured centre George Ackles of it will winner out the line-up. If anyone can beat The Rebs, be the Arizona-Seton of the Hall game.

Arizona, with their huge front line, is a solid team, but as CBS's

Billy Packer points out, they're not really sure how they want to play.

Seton Hall, on the other hand, know how they want to play. Their

defense should them Arizona. great and quick guards carry past

Despite earlier comments in this column, watch for a Seton Hall upset

over UNLV.

ART'S ANTICIPATED FINAL FOUR: NORTH CAROLINA, IN-

DIANA, DUKE AND SETON HALL.

Tournament All-Name Team: Forwards: Coastal Carolina's Tony Dunkin, Georgia State's Phillip Luckydo, Centre Popeye Jones of Kuntz Murray State, Guards: Indiana's Jamaal Meeks, NC's King Rice. The Second Team: Forwards: Dikembe Mutombo (Georgetown), Jennifer DuWayne Cheatham of Coastal Carolina, Centre Shaquille O'Neal of LSU, Guards: Melvin Cheatum (Alabama), and Malik Sealy of St.

pic: John's, 26 "the cord" sports Thursday March 21,1991

Captain Stomach looks to threepeat

Cresswell by Rob were the words of the several cellent Dr. W. FIRST event which was enjoyed Terry Mcintosh, McTeer, PLACE: Captain Cord hundred the Sports people occupying by all participants and spectators. Gary Jefferies, Dick the Cat, and Stomach

this week for the Stomach" Jeff and Jen Maslanka pool gallery past "Captain (alias super- provided SECOND PLACE: Big Splash Oh look, up there, it's a bird, Wilfrid Laurier Cannon- the decision The student-cop A 1 Lee) put on quite making. compe- Heighway

a cow it's plane, holy it's "Cap- ball/Bellyflop Championships. a as he tition was close, but it show narrowly defended incredibly THIRD PLACE: Norm Peter- Stomach". Well fans for tain After a one layoff the his title over cannonball was Stomach the year rookie Captain leading son those of who missed it, these students of PE 242 you put on an ex- Tom "Big Splash" Heighway. A way. FOURTH PLACE: Scorpio close very competition saw the A host of generous sponsors FIFTH PLACE: Big Larry Big Splash just missing out after had been gathered by crack ad- his final flop. vertising staff and the contestants Rounding out the competition Contestants were given two were awarded A was accordingly. Jughead, Wedding, Stoney jumps of each of the two thanks all spring- special to participants, Jones, The Bear, Super Geek,

boards and scores out of a The given judges, and spectators. stand- Captain Long John's, The Master

possible 10. Guest judges Dr. ings were as follows. of Disaster. Around the ring

with Warlord's brutal by Mark the Mauler Here are the Mauler's predic- post-match retaliation.

tions for Wrestlemania VII: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy "Macho King" Savage:

will Virgil vs. Ted Dibiase: Virgil have "Rowdy" Contrary to last week's information, new sources him Roddy Piper with at ringside and therefore will reveal Savage wanting to retire and start a family.

score a pinfall due to Piper's illegal interference. Earthquake vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine: The

three Rockers vs. Haku and Barbarian: The Rockers will Hammer will receive Earthquake splashes and

will be have many high flying and flashy moves but demolished.

succumb the of Mr. Perfect vs. Bossman: Bossman has to strength Bobby Heenan's newly Big gone member formed team. through every of the Heenan family and

of Doom Mr. Legion vs. Power and Glory: Paul Roma won't stop with Perfect. Bossman will become

(Glory) is the weak link between these teams and the new WWF Intercontinental Champion.

to Hart Brett Hart will will fall victim Legion of Doom's top rope Foundation vs. Nasty Boys: be

clothesline finishing move. pinned leaving the Nasties new WWF Tag-Team

Undertaker vs. Jimmy "Superfly"Snuka: Un- Champs. Rick "The Model" Martel "The Snake" dertaker will prove to be too much for the Superfly vs. Jake when DDT he rolls away from Superfly's tremendous top Roberts: The Snake will deliver his finishing blinded rope slash. move and have revenge for being by

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana: Chico's glory days Martel.

are over while the Mountie is still built Hulk vs. Need I being up. Hogan Seargent Slaughter: say The Mountie will be victorious The after using illegal tactics. anything? Obviously Hogan will destroy Slaughter pool had to be refilled this one. The Warlord: will British Bulldog vs. Bulldog via his hyperventilation, foot-in-the-face, legdrop photo by Jen Kuntz score a lucky victory but not without paying for it climax to become new WWF Champion -again.

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plus taxes, not valid with any other offer Offer Expires March 28,1991 "the cord" 27 Thursday March 21,1991 sports The New Jays:Part II

Moo-o-o-kie Wilson. Mulliniks carved himself out CONTINUED FROM and 8 in AA last supplanting a free agent from the Cardinals year. of the Wilson had a a reputation as one LAST WEEK in the Behind the the Jays are (.265. 3HR, 51RBI) and Fraser came up to T.O. plate hitters in the. solid than The left- and is a class premiere pinch Junior Felix deal. The Jays plan more ever. great September With the Jays not signing with his late heroics platoon of act Unfortunately, his arm is so game inning to use Dayley as a middle relief right Greg Myers John Cerutti, southpaw they very weak that he is too much of a last The SHR, 22R81) and Pat Bor- year. set-up man for Tom Henke. (.236, much lack an established fifth to be With the ders (.286, 15 HR, sup- liability an everyday player Kelly Gruber, Jays Terminator had a customarily fine 46R81) surrendered starter. Cerutti who in the field. have baseball's foremost third with the Jays with some of the Switch-hitting, out- season saving 32 games, a plies hits than Shadow Stevens more in fielder Mard "hard-hittin"' baseman. He has developed into 2.17 ERA. In 74 innings, Henke best two-way catching will only be missed souvenir by baseball. Borders hovered around Whiten has a rifle of an arm and one of the game's true superstars. walked just 19 while hurling 75 seeking fans in the center field and hit .290 at last Gruber, despite a post-all-star K's. Frank Wills and Jim Acker the .290 mark all last season Syracuse year seats. The have Iraqis might won 48 He hit .274 while 31 middle threw out 43 of runners while driving in runs. slump, swatting are accomplished percent the war had their SCUD missiles steal. Pat to well in his brief stint as a roundtrippers and tallying 118 relievers. attempting to Expect played flew as far and as high at the lion's share of the last and had the RBI. Twenty of those dingers and Willis along with Fraser, are assume the Jay summer homers Cerutti surrendered. RBI duties in 1991. potential to become a good all- 66 of the came before the also vying for the final spot on catching Although A 1 Leiter (3-8, 4.62 in around full time break. in the' the starting rotation. Myers lacks nothing defensively, player. Kelly's wizardry who has been Syracuse) plagued first too at the Glenallen Hill packs quite a field earned him his (of Duane Ward slumped, but he came up shy often hand and by persistent arm prob- award. Unlike last (12HR, 32R81 in 84 many) Gold Glove still managed to save 11 games, plate year. wallop lems may get a shot at cracking in T.0.) and will likely some players who shall remain while a 3.45 ERA. He led games, posting No one in T.O. was upset with the starting rotation but certainly see action as DH or in nameless (Jose), Gruber does not the AL in innings pitched by a the of Felix, the shouldn't for departure save go looking an apart- righthanded as long as he doesn't believe he is God's gift to reliever, logging 127.2. critics in field who loved ment in Toronto yet. right about baseball and makes no threats have any more nightmares to Canadian Dennis Alex Sanchez, Bob Mac- shouting "Junior, can you say southpaw Toronto spiders. (You stick to that story leave in search of more Boucher went 7-0 in Dunedin last Donald and Ricky Rhodes (ac- Syracuse" everytime (and there Glenallen). money. He agreed to an $11 mil- before Knoxville in major league draft from were a few) he botched a play. year bypassing quired 3 rel- Canadian Rob Ducey hit .302 lion, year contract, although who is to an 8-5 mark with the the Yankees) all have an outside The churlish Felix, some- post last he deserved in 19 games as a Jay season atively speaking, the between the of 23 and Syracuse Chiefs. Boucher, barely chance of accompanying where age and lacks little defensively. The more. 23, is another contender for the Blueshirts back north. Rhodes, 28 depending on who you ask, Jays have invited Ducey up to So there are still a few ques- like vacant on the rota- 22, who fanned 147 in 154 in- has potential. However, spot starting answered: Can Toronto in the past for a cup of tions yet to be Lee tion. nings at Class A Greensboro last Damaso Garcia, his talent is over- coffee he would like be but to stay a successful two-way short- be returned to the shadowed his The Jays bullpen appears to season must by petulance. for a meal. However, because the stop? Will Olerud succeed in a doesn't make the be stacked with talent and there Big Apple if he The speedy Devon White is Jays have an abundance of regular role at first? How solid is few if the should be problems parent Jays. an excellent defensive outfielder talented outfielders, Ducey may the starting rotation? To name a Ken newest member, lefty The Jays have high expecta- but hit only .217 lat year, while have to pursue a pro career else- few. On the other hand, the Jays Dayley and righty Willie Fraser tions for reliever Mike Timlin, driving in 44 runs. White will where. chemistry in the clubhouse has contribute. Dayley was signed as who compiled 22 saves in A ball likely assume centre field duties, Kenny Williams has a rocket changed with the exodus of Bell,

of an arm, and can play all three Fernandez and Felix. Those were

outfield positions well. Un- the guys who always seemed to The THL awards show fortunately, Williams can't hit his be at the centre of any Jay con- weight (.161, OHR, 13RBI) and flict. The seemingly perpetual dissension that has racked the was the winner at the banquet, home will likely see only sporadic ac- by Rob Hums big taking Blue awards for Molson Player of the Week, Wolnik tion. Jays for years may finally like Division Regular Season Top Scorer, Playoffs Top The should have their disappear. Players Gruber, With the excitement of the current NCAA bas- Jays and First Team Wilson, Tabler and Carter are all Scorer, Most Sportsmanlike Player, best defensive outfield ever this ketball tournament, Molson Tamiae Hockey All-Star. Other award winners at the known for their positive attitudes banquet were: season thanks to the acquisition League play finally concluded with Calgary captur- Miller Division Top Scorer, Regular Season: Don and trouble free nature. Hopefully ing the Mullin-Nesbitt Cup. Underdogs throughout of White and the exodus of Poort, Edmontoif the new attitude Jays will finally the attire and into the "I couldn't see the ball" year even playoffs despite George Lowest Goals Against Average, Regular Season: be able to use their immense winning the Old Vienna Trophy, indicative of the Bell. Steve talent to result. Lack of Halvorson, Calgary Derek Bell in greater top regular season team, the all-rookie Calgary club (56R81, .261 Most Valuable Player, Regular Season: Don Poort, talent has never seemed to be the proved that they were indeed worthy champions. AAA) 22, is a highly touted out- Edmonton the have been one fielder but have to wait at problem, Jays Calgary defeated the pre-season favourites Quebec may Most Valuable Player, Playoffs: Rob Bobier and of the game's most gifted squads 5-1 and 2-1 to win the best-of-three championship least another year before cracking Todd for but season after season Campbell, Calgary the Two his years, series two games to none. Jay lineup. years ago Goalie: Brian Masse, Quebec Toronto failed torealize its colos- Top .344 was in A ball. In fact, Calgary only lost four games over the average tops sal There Top Defenceman: Dave McGowan, Calgary Mulliniks potential. are no more course of both the regular season and the playoffs. Lefty Ranee (.289) Rookie of the Year: Frank Giannone excuses. "The worked for and Righty Pat Tabler will guys hard this. I'm really happy likely First Team All Stars: Brian Masse (Quebec), Dave bear If If the Jays don't get their act for them. They really deserve the Cup," stated head the bulk of the DH duties. McGowan Tom no doubt the laid-back coach Ken Irwin. "I'm (Calgary), Seymour (Quebec), they falter, Hill, Ducey, Wilson together, just happy to be a part of Gaston will to Rick Boyco (Quebec), Brad Carnegie (Montreal), Whiten and Williams all wait- be the first get the this team." Irwin hopes that the team will want to are Don Poort axe. If the don't at least win remain (Edmonton) ing in the These players Jays together for next season, although he didn't wings. Second Team "All Frank the AL East, Gillick is sure to feel Stars: Giannone (Win- the Jays all sorts of depth on rule outmaking any changes. give John Smith the heat for too To off successful THL nepeg), (Toronto), Kent Cunnington the bench, and of- making many cap a season, the league defensively Brad moves too fast. a (Edmonton), Tubman (Calgary), Bill Gourley Tabler is a clutch hitter Only held its year-end awards banquet last Tuesday eve- fensively. will satiate the (Calgary), Paul Mammolini known with the championship ning in Wilfs. The banquet, absent from the THL (Vancouver) for his prowess Third The hunger of baseball's most loyal for a number of be Team All Stars: Todd Henkusens bases drunk (.500 lifetime). years, proved to very popular (Ed- fans. well travelled veteran was signed among the players. Despite his team coming in sec- monton), Dave Finch (Montreal), Kevin Watts RATINGS: INFIELD OUTFIELD the Chris Cornwall last fall free from the (A-) ond in regular season as well as losing to Cal- (Waterloo), (Vancouver), Mike as a agent (B+) STARTING ROTATION (B) in the Montreal's Brad Carnegie Ponic Alex Heron (Calgary). New York Mets. gary semi-finals, (Winnepeg), BULLPEN fA- 1* CATCHING CA-1

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