Nobel Prize Awarded for Stony Brook Discovery

Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, working together is success. Nobel Prize Awarded for Stony Brook discovery Nobel Prize Is Awarded For MRI Technology; Discovery Made At Stony Brook by Paul Lauterbur Landmark Achievement Transformed Healthcare in 20th Century

STONY BROOK, October 6, 2003-Paul C. ing a campus ceremony celebrating the tech- world have had an accurate and painless Lauterbur, Ph.D., whose research conducted nology. "But, I thought, it probably was not diagnostic tool to assess patient illness. He is at Stony Brook University led to the develop- very important unless you could do it without- directly responsible for the improvement of the ment of Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) cutting somebody." quality of life all of us enjoy. We are very and revolutionized healthcare in the latter por- Two years later, in 1973, the British scientif- proud Dr. Lauterbur conducted his ground- tion of the 20th century, was awarded the ic journal Nature published an article by Dr. breaking work at the State University of New Nobel Prize in Medicine in Stockholm, Lauterbur describing an NMR technique for York." Sweden today. taking three-dimensional pictures of body Dr. Lauterbur was a Professor of Chemistry organs and vessels, without the use of ionized and also a Professor of Radiology in the radiation or toxic dyes. It was this technique SBU welcomes Turner Fellows School of Medicine at Stony Brook when he that was used as the basis for the manufac- read in page conducted the research that led to his land- ture of MRI equipment. The MRI went on to mark discovery in the 1970s and early 1980s. become a critical non-invasive tool in medical His original MRI technology remains on dis- diagnosis. play at the University's Chemistry Building. Besides transforming diagnostics, Dr. The award was hailed by Stony Brook Lauterbur's discovery helped establish Stony President Shirley Strum Kenny, who said: Brook's reputation as a leading research insti- "Stony Brook is rightfully known as the birth- tution that is home to many important discov- place of the MRI. It is because of Dr. eries, including the cause of Lyme disease, Lauterbur's research done here that millions the discovery of ReoPro@ (the most common- of lives have been improved due to this break- ly used drug to reduce mortality in cardiac through inrhealthcare technology." patients), the discovery of the link between The research began in 1971 when Dr. smoking and emphysema, and the develop- Lauterbur watched as colleagues used ment of the virtual colonoscopy. Nuclear Magnetic Resonance (NMR) to exam- "On behalf of the entire State University of ine tissue cut from a cancerous tumor. "They New York community, I congratulate Paul were getting some NMR signals from the Lauterbur on winning the Nobel Prize," said tumor tissues that were different from those in SUNY Chancellor Robert L. King. "Thanks to other tissues," he said in a 1996 interview dur- Dr. Lauterbur's genius, physicians all over the FORCA4T FOR MOVEMOeR: ARTHMI&AKe PRePICTUP. THe Stong Brook Symphony Orchestra opens . IPAMP04APe S1 0AI..TO 40HAMOH PRAMATICAUY. BRIWN 200B3/2004 Concert Season . OUT YOUR SURVIVAl, DeAR, YOU the Graduate orchestra performed the first concert on October 4th, under the direction of David AR" 0oIeN TO ee PeI.AtUeP Stern WrITH ITU.W6/Y. POWT FOR- read on oaae 5 eeT TO INCIUPE YOUR RUAPING elASSES.

C TT GSO News page 03 A Morning's Reflection's page 04 Siesta page 04 Graduate Orchestra Concert, page 05 The Turner Report page 06 Concerts Schedule page 07 Spotlight on Theatre page 07 Heroes for freedom page 08 Campus Safety page 08 City Arts page 10 Grad Humour page 11 Stony Love page 11 Nothing New page 12

News and Blues 1 After a tumultuous start of the he later dismissed the notion that it tradiction with the views of 2/3 rd of semester, the GSO finally looks to be was a challenge when asked pointed- students who voted to make the fees settling down into a functional ly. voluntary but the students should rhythm. Ms Rong Su was elected as He then took pains to express that definitely think about this. No argu- treasurer. Mr. Venkat Reddy Pasham this was in no way intended to disen- ments on concerns that the function- was confirmed as Secretary and the franchise the graduate students. ing of GSO might not have been up to senate approved Shawn Pottorf's, At the end of the meeting many the expectation of the students, but nomination as speaker. still felt that the student bodies will that is no reason to disband a gov- It was decided in the senate meet- and wish has been ignored by the ernment and chose anarchy. ing held on September 23rd to invite schools decision. That brings us to Although one mightdisagree with Dean Dr Lawrence Martin to address. examine the underlying issues. One the president bringing upa the issue of the controversial decision to nullify cannot claim to be ight since the volunitry fee witi Dr ai one has the vote on the Student activity fees. problem is many layered. We will to applaud him for standing up for For those who are not aware of the. make an attempt to throw our two the rights of the GSO. Similarly one issue, last summer, the GSO held a pence on the issues might not like the VP to have brought school wide vote, to address the if the citizens of USA or for that up the issue of dity of the vote issue of student activity fee and the matter any country decide not to pay But one has to pplaud her also for students responded with a vote to taxes how would the government trying to defend the procedural and make it voluntary. run? Who would defend the country financial integrity of the G80 As decided Dr Martin was invited against rival powers? In the larger picture he oa is for and he showed up for the meeting In a similar sense if the GSO funds the students to have a voice against held on October 14th. He answered are made voluntary were would the the powers that be, dissolving the the questions quite skillfully. In money come from to run the organi- GSO would be suicidal to that goal. essence his argument was this: the zation? Lets face it how many of us At the same time letting the universi- school does not have any preference. pay Taxes voluntarily! ty countermand the voice of the stu- on the issue and the decision was Can any organization run without dents is also unacceptable. We need made on legal merits alone, a conclu- money? Would anyone want his or to build a strong and united student sion he arrived to after long delibera- her government to be like the UN? .... government to pr;tect our rights. tion with the best legal counsel Powerful on paper but powerless in The aim then, should be to work available. He further went on to say reality? Point to note, if there Were together and strengthen ourselves, he would not change his decision no GSO would Dr Martin show up to and thereby next time around we and made what seemed like thinly answer a bunch of concerned stu- leave no room for our wishes to be veiled challenge to sue the school if dents question as he did on October denied. anyone has disagreements, although 14th? This view is probably in con-

------IU ------~--- -~------Senator go to - Rules and Constitution(chaired by Speaker) http://www.is.sunysb.edu/Clubs/gso/staff/sena- interprets and suggests changes in GSO 1 01 tors.htm. Any questions should be directed to Constitution and bylaws; Basic GSO facts Secretary. - Social Concerns(chaired by Vice President) -GSO Senate meetings are scheduled monthly when school is in session - everybody is d) GSO members are all grads who pay stu- by Masa Prodanovic welcome, but only senators can vote. Meeting dent activity fee. times posted on the web and Senate-email GSO CONSISTS OF: list. CONTACT: - Contact Speaker if you wish to be on the a) GSO Executive Council meeting agenda. Meetings generally follow a) GSO office: SAC Room 227 -President, Vice President, Secretary, Roberts Rules of order (there are copies in Phone:632 6492, Fax: 632 8965, Treasurer, Speaker - details of their duties are GSO office). Email: [email protected], in GSO Constitution Office Manager: Venkat Pasham, -All except Speaker elected in April by mem- c) GSO Standing Committees (for details see Office Hours: posted on the web bers wide vote(see Elections Bylaws for Standing Committee Bylaws): b) GSO newspaper: News and Blues pub- details). Speaker is elected by GSO senate in - Budget (chaired by Treasurer, has to have 5 lished monthly! September among senators members) decides on funding requests, budg- Contact: [email protected], -2003-4 Council: Guofeng Hou (P, et etc.; Editors: Sivaraman Prakasam, [email protected]), Angeliki Field Pollatou - Board of Appeals(has to have 5 non-execu- Bogdan Scurtu (VP, [email protected]), Venkat R. tive-council members); c) GSO webpage: Pasham (Secr, vrpasham @ic.sunysb.edu), - Elections(chaired by Secretary) conducts http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/Clubs/gso Rong Su (Tr, [email protected]), Shawn Elections; GSO Webmaster: Qing Ye, Pottorf ([email protected]). - Housing deals with graduate housing issues, [email protected] mainly on-campus,. Contains announcements, forms, doc- b) GSO Senate - GSEU Liaison, uments and all needed info. -GSO Senators are department representa- - Lounge Advisory oversees operations and tives. To find out your department programming of University Cafe; continued on page 8

Editors: Bogdan Scurtu, Sivaraman Prakasam Consultant: Smitha K.M. Email: [email protected] Columnists: Elizabeth Bojsza, Pegine Walrad, Jasmina Sinanovic, Elisabeth Bojsza, Phone: 631 632 6493 Nick Misiti, Masa Prodanovic, H. Roark Messages: 631 632 6492 Special Thanks to: Martha Zadok, Julie Rulon Greene Fax: 631 632 8965 News and Blues office is located in SAC 226 Web: www.ic.sunysb.edu/Clubs/gso Mailing Address: GSO, SAC 226, Stony Brook University, NY 11794- 2700 i News and Blues 2 Venkat Heddy Pasham Ten Personal/ Rong Su GSO Secretary Serious Questions GSO Treasurer leddy Ten Personal Questions Su (last name), Rong What are your personal and academic cre- (first name) ad, AP, dentials China, Asian - Name, Place of Birth, Ethnic Origin, which Computer Science idian dept, where you got your undergraduate Undergraduate School I and degree from, what year at Stony Brook are China r you? On or off campus? Fall 2000 ing What was the most memorable day in your off-campus Hyderabad life that stands out? ---blank on this one---- Masters Who is the person/persons who has(ve) generally any day with most inspired you? happiness and fulfill- )us Which is your favorite film? Any hot ment I got admit- favorites, actor, actress? My parents inspired Epresti- Do you believe in God? What is your spiritu- me a lot. ttle Flower ality source? Views on religion? In the mood for Love ollena"- this If you had a million dollars name five things (chinese movie), not was my first major achievement hence the you would spend it on? very particular about actors or actress most cherished What was the weirdest thing that ever hap- I am not a religious person in general. But I do My father with his determination, hard work pened to you. believe in something inside of everyone, such as and my mother with her patience. Zodiac? Favorite food? Sport? Color? Fruit? good will, confidence and fairness. Sarfarosh ("Sacrifice") - a Hindi movie, Animal? Hobby? I would spend my million dollars on: Shawshank Redemption. What in your words is the definition of love? Be with my families and travelling Aamir Khan (Hero of Lagaan) Where do you think you will be 10 years Start up my own business Rani Mukherjee and Aishwarya Rai(Miss from now? Country? Career? Pretty much spent already:-) World -1994) Ten Serious Questions4 Weirdest thing? I always forgot the bad things hap- Yes I believe in God What is your advice to the new students/ pened very quickly. That is weird.:-) Meditation is my spiritual source Any survival tip for the old ones, students, I Love? Humm, it is magic.(sorry borrowing lines Religion is an important personal support sys- mean? from "Sleepless in Seattle") tem, but it shouldn't interfere with a person's Do you think war is an effective antidote for In 10 years? Ohh, gosh, I will be getting old.:( interaction with other human beings terrorism? What would you suggest is one Ten Serious Questions: Million dollars: Increasing literacy in Irdia, way you can combat terrorism? Be prepared for an exciting experience. If you GSO, SUNYSB, My parents and myself. What is your opinion of Pres. Bush's han- have difficulties in speaking English like me at that So far none.....Hope it doesn't occur to me in dling of the War on Iraq ? time, try to get to the bus my rest of the life. Name one thing that Stony Brook waiting line and talk to anyone near you in Taurus Administration can do, and hasn't really English.:-) Spicy Indian food acted on? No, I don't think war is the solution on terrorism. Tennis How far do you think the administrators One way to combat terrorism is to give people more Cream white have done enough to take care of the inter- freedom and peace. Apple ests of the Students at Stony Brook? What I don't agree with the war on Iraq. I think there are Rabbit is a major area of neglect? many ways better than war. Music, Tennis and Politics Name one thing about this campus you One thing Stony Brook Administration could do is Love is a "Total Understanding of each other" really feel proud of? to reach out to student community more and try to Ten years from now: Top level manager in a Had you been given the charge as President be a mentor for students who need help. technical industry, anywhere in the world of Stony Brook University, what is the first Well, school does a lot of good things on curricu- wherever my career takes me thing you would do? lum designs and the experience of learning. The Ten Serious Questions: What is the most challenging situation you major neglect, I think, is to provide more research Be Open to new things, an open mind widens have ever had and how did you cope with opportunities. your horizon; different doesn't always mean it? I am really proud of the exist of GSO, at which the wrong. As a vanguard of the GSO what is the one representatives of graduate students can express Survival tip: persistence and hard work... most valuable lesson you have learned? their opinions and make the most there are no short cuts to success decisions on graduate student life. The first I will do is to improve graduate student War: sometimes is a cure for terrorism but not If you are interested in advertising in housing to a more affordable rate and comfortable always News and Blues email [email protected] Empowering the world economically would environment. ysb.edu, Attn. Ad or fax a request to 632 solve terrorism The most challenging situation? Well, I can only Personals are published for free, No comments 8965. remember the recent challenging situation. Making Keeping the libraries and labs open for 24 commercial ads. Ads range from business the budget proposal in the last two weeks. I cope it hours with proper security card size ($30) the full page size, 8.5xll with a lot of time and thephelp.from Senate, execs Fair, can do better, area of neglect- research ($250) and the Budget Committee. in some departments News and Blues is a monthly publication The most valuable lesson I have learned in GSO? Hmm, in these two weeks I just worked, it is a very Positive thing about stony brook- great com- and comes out on every second time-consuming work, but it is munity and good folks Wednesday of the month August- rewarding. Lesson? hmmm, it is hard to please So far I learnt to be patient and convincing to December and February-May. Total of get things done. everyone, but it is . . 1500 copies is published and distributed always a way to pursue the best interest of the throughout-the Campus. graduate student body.

News and Blues 3 jtB I mjp m Siesta A MORNING'S REFLECTIONS except that which we give to it. This was not real. Yet, with all its intensity, there K.M. by Simone Hayat by Smitha were two eyes deep in thought looking at In quieter dreams, I had supposed I had never known that I could put so much emotion into that simple act of touching. me peering into me, searching every bit of Touch is a healer, so they say; in my case my body for some sign, some response to That the sky was blue the definition seemed not so much an act its endearing glance. How do emotions of healing, but something closer, way too metamorphose into reality. Such lifeless Weathers clement close, to my heart. Yes, healing was in fact things, reflect the state of your mind, and an effect, an effect of great consequence, bring back your feelings, from some deep As to make me smile but the undercurrents, the slow drift of inner core, that you never knew existed . it something else had downplayed all healing has always been an enigma to me, and At the green leaves, and the ease I felt at that moment. It was a now, when 1thought I saw a tear drop, major discovery for mL. The wee hours of- sparkle in his eyes, I wondered, is he cry- And fine sunshine the morning brought in the rays of a reluc- ing, can it be true. Does he pine for me? tant sun, through the iron grilled barrier of How would it feel for him to touch me now? Yet sandstorms strike, a window, and into my room. There, its Why this misery? Why ever this pain of rays lazed around the features of my doll. separation? It was as if all the veins of my On rough afternoons, It wasn't an imposing doll, so to say, one of body wanted to just pulse at once with the those from the rustic toymakers of India, eagerness of every touch and every motion Waking me from with a stolen brand name to enhance mar- that I made. I held the doll to my face for a ketability. But in my hands, now this morn- long time, and drew its life blood. Hmmph, That clear spell of five minutes, ing, as I hold it, it isn't the dull quaint look- we humans are crazy, or can we not see ing stuffing of felt and cotton that I had that life blood is for those that have life. I When I have visited seen in the shops that sold him and many looked around to see if I was where I was, like him. For me, the presentation hid a lot in my own home, I touched the walls of my All my aunts and uncles, from view. Life is indeed a poker player, home, to see if it was substance or a and today, he seemed to be doing a good dream. Well, the dreams of the mind must Of yester years, job at deceiving me to believe that things consummate into some ordered reality, or as this didn't matter. The very act of hold- so I tend to feel; I checked out my alarm The farmlands, ing him sent waves of a familiar feeling. A clock to see if the ringing made more desperate longing for the moments I had sense than the fact that I was crying to my And the grazing meadows, been with him. Deva, that enchanting sweetbread and letting him know that I was name, that spelled mystery in my mind for lonely. It was as if in that space of time , And cool well water, a long twenty minute ride through the hills everything was floating, my life and my of Kumaon. It kept coming back to me. aches and pains, my joys too, surprisingly, Life is peaceful Why was this enchantment lingering, in the floated around me, like pieces of cotton, touch, a magnetic resonance of my emo- hanging in the air with no sense of purpose in my dreams, tions, keeping me waiting for an intolerant and no written destiny that it must obey. second at what was going on. I held onto The doll that I held in my hand froze, for a And I can almost feel, the little stuffing whom I had name sweet- moment I felt chilled, where was I? What bread, and somehow, the stuffing seemed was happening? I opened my eyes to see The pitter patter of rain, to look back at me. In its eyes, there a pillow in my hand supporting me from the seemed to be a strange kind of a glow. long tired hours of last night's homework And the soft music in the breeze, drill .... How can the inanimate have emotion, The private talks of the birds,

The sun showing off its grace, North Eastern ..Linguistic Society

With a flurry of green, Con erence (NELS 34). NELS 34 features invited speakers Hiding its naked redness, Ellen The 34th Annual Meeting of the North Broselow (USB), Guglielmo Eastern Linguistic Society (NELS) Cinque Once more the noisy chatter of the breeze, will be held at Stony Brook University on (University of Venice), and Richard Larson November 7-9, 2003, in the (USB). NELS 34 As if to tell me life is this, will host a Wang Center Theatre. special session on Sentence and Speech Processing, focussing The quaint feeling of sorrow, on the NELS is one of the leading conferences on interface of linguistics with psychology, theoretical linguistics held neurobiology, computer That brought me here, in the northeastern United States and science, and other related fields. Canada. It is a forum for the Abstracts/papers on this topic Was just a spell, are discussion and dissemination of current especially welcome for the special session research in theoretical and for Solitude made no sense, the accompanying !lt linguistics. The conference attracts partici- poster session. The special session will pants from all over the feature invited speaker Dan And life was just that waft of a breeze, world and welcomes abstracts/papers in all Jurafsky (U.Colorado, Boulder) fields of theoretical A siesta for the little tender souls linguistics. Please see our website Please see our website for more informa- (http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/clubs/nels) for tion at I laid here by these trees, the conference program. http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/clubs/nels And buried yester eve. News and Blues 4 Stony BrookSymphony Orchestra Opens ConcertSeason by Perry Goldstein and Bogdari Scurtu

The Stony Brook Symphony Orchestra ed with serial composer Arnold Schoenberg, Dahl who started treating him, using opened the 2003-2004 concert season on the and perhaps the prime model for the Post hypnosis. As a result, Rachmaninoff wrote one Main Stage of the Staller Center for the Arts World-War II avant-garde generation, Webern of the most important masterpieces in the on Saturday, October 4th with a program that- clearly had the late Romantic musical style in classical music repertory. The beautiful included Anton Webern's "Im Sommerwind: mind when he composed "Im Sommerwind" melodies and the work's intensity made it an Idyll for Large Orchestra," Sergei early in his career. Webern's youthful foray immediate part of the repertoire after Rachmaninoff's Second Piano Concerto, and into the late Romantic style is expansive and its premiere. Ms. Hartman gave a convincing Robert Schumann's 3rd Symphony "Rhenish." convincing. David Stern admirably captured performance with her strong interpretative The orchestra was conducted by David Stern, the successive changes of mood and "natura- conception. She played expressively with a and the soloist of the evening listic" coloring. The orchestra responded to full and passionate sound, exploiting the entire was concerto competition winner, pianist his promptings with subtle shadings and dynamical palette of the piano, Maya Hartman. Romantic lushness where called for. with meticulous attention to details. The Orchestra is regarded as one of the Concerto competition winner (2002/2003) Congratulations Maya, and congratulations best student orchestras in the country, and on Maya Hartman joined the orchestra for Professor Kalish! Saturday it certainly lived up to its reputation. Rachmaninoff's "Piano Concerto No. 2," one If the orchestra approached the pieces from Graduate students, of which the orchestra is of the most popular and oft-played concerti in the first half with a great fastidiousness, primarily comprised, come from the best con- the repertoire. Ms. Hartman is a DMA Schumann's Symphony No. 3 was servatories and universities in the United student at Stohy Brook and studies under approached in a fierce, full, even stormy way. States and abroad. The department's top Gilbert Kalish. An accomplished performer Schumann wrote this piece in 1850, when undergraduates fill out the orchestra's ranks. with an active career, she has concertized in moving to Dusseldorf, Germany. He was hop- Guest conductors of great repute have been the United States, Canada, and Israel, and ing that a new life in the city on Rhine would conductina the orchestra since the retirement she has been heard on National Public Radio end his life-time problems and depressions. Four years after composing the work, he attempted suicide by throwing himself into the Rhine, no longer a symbol of hope. After being rescued, he spent the last years of his life in an insane asylum. Despite the tragic last years of his life, the 3rd Symphony has an atmosphere of enthusiasm and hope, and he depicts many "Rhinish" instances, ranging from "lively" country dances to the spectacular image of the Cologne Cathedral. The conductor and the orchestra vividly depicted the lively, programmatic images of this attractive work. Stony Brook's graduate music program is rated number one in the country in terms of Maestro D. Stern with the Orchestrain rehearsal in the United States. She is an active promot- student satisfaction, and after hearing this of its director, Gustav Meier, three years ago. er of contemporary music, and has premiered concert,it is easy to see why. The depart- David Stern, who conducted Saturday night's several works by American composers with ment's hundreds of recitals and concerts per performance, has captured the attention and the Stony Brook Contemporary Chamber: year, at no cost or for a nominal ticket charge, enthusiasm of the orchestra. A thorough pro- Players. makes this an oasis of musical activity. The fessional, he is the main guest conductor Unlike his contemporaries, who were experi- orchestra concerts, which occur on Saturday of the Opera de ouen (France and Concerto menting with differenft musical materials in an nights almost monthly throughout the school KoIn (Germany), with which he attempt to get away from Romantic tonal tech- year, typically draw over a thousand people. appears regularly in concerts throughout niques, Russian-born Sergei Rachmaninoff Take advantage of this gem of an orchestra in Western Europe. This month he will conduct wrote Romantic music well into the twentieth our midst! Students with valid ID receive spe- the Rouen Opera in concerts at New York's century. In 1899, he was commissioned to cial ticket prices and Graduates also will Carnegie Hall and in Beijing, China. write a piano concerto for the London receive a free cap with a "Survival Guide" The concert began with "Im Sommerwind" Philharmonic Orchestra. Incapable of working, coupon. by Anton Webern. Although closely associat- Rachmaninoff turned to psychiatrist Nikolai

News and Blues 5 The Turner Report by Smitha Fathima The 2003 Turner Fellowship Welcome Lawrence Martin has worked very hard to Behavioral Health, where she coordinates Dinner took place on Tuesday, September 23. build an excellent fellowship program that is training, conducts research, and supervises A special annual event that recognizes the achievements of Turner Fellows and Stony Brook University's commitment to diversity and academic excellence in graduate education, the welcome dinner was attended by Turner Fellows, members of their families, senior University administrators, faculty, and staff. The evening celebration featured a keynote address from Dr. Carmen Vazquez, director of the Bellevue Institute of Multicultural Behavioral Health, and welcome remarks from Dr. Robert McGrath, Provost, Stony Brook University. The Turner Fellowship is Stony Brook University's branch of the SUNY-wide under represented Graduate Fellowship Program. The mission of the Fellowship is to assist Stony Brook University in the recruitment and retention of exceptional under represented students into Stony Brook's excellent graduate programs. The long-range goal of the Turner Fellowship Program is therefore to encourage the fellows to assume their responsibilities as future leaders in education and public service. Since its inception in 1987, the fellowship has been very successful in recruiting students of high academic promise who have gone on to assume leadership positions in a variety of Dr. Lawrence Martin, Dean of the Graduate School and Olufeni Vaughan, professions, notably in education, medicine, Associate Dean for Under represented Students engineering, social welfare, and in the arts. In recent years, the fellowship has emerged as committed to the expansion of educational doctoral psychology trainees and medical stu- one of the very best in the region. opportunities for under represented students dents. Dr. Vazquez is also clinical professor of These remarkable achievements were in graduate and professional studies here at psychiatry at New York University School of made because of the hard work of Turner Stony Brook. Medicine, and at the City University of New Fellows, and the deep commitment of The highlight of the Turner Welcome Dinner York. Drawing on her experience in clinical University administrators, faculty members, was a keynote Address delivered By Dr. psychology, psychotherapy, research, teach- ing, and advocacy for the metal health of New York's underprivileged immigrant population, Dr. Vazquez called on Turner Fellows to con- tinue to unhold the Turner Fellowship's mission of academic excellence and public service in a rapidly changing and diverse American society. She acknowledged the remarkable academic and public service achievements of current and former Turner Fellows in a variety of academic and professional fields. The evening's celebration ended with Afro-Brazilian musical and dance performance.

Participant sat the 2003 Turner Fellowship Welcome Dinner education to those who historically lacked with many years of clinical experience in bilin- access to higher education. Along with the gual and monolingual communities. Born and support of President Kenny, Provost McGrath, raised in the Dominican Republic, Dr. Vazquez the Turner Fellowship Advisory Committee (a who graduated with honors from Queens group of Turner Fellows, faculty, and adminis- College, New York in 1976, and received her trators), the staff of the Graduate School, and PhD in psychology from the City University of the Alliance for Graduate Education and the New York in 1981 is the founding director of Professorate, Graduate School Dean, Dr. the Bellevue Institute for Multicultural News and Blues 6 GSO Halloween Party October 31st 8pm-2am

@The University Caf6

Celebrate Halloween with your fel'ow grads!!! k i /

Free Snacks, BEVERAGES, and live music.!! Come in costume to win PRIZES!!!

(Don't forget to bring your student IDand proof of age) The University Cafe is open only to members of the university community and their guests. www.umversitycafe.org

News and Blues 7 Heroes for Freedom

by Nick Misiti "The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time; the hand of force may destroy, but cannot disjoin them." --Thomas Jefferson

In the middle of the village of Port Jefferson inside that memorial the liberty, the justice, the The truth is somewhere in the middle of that stands a memorial dedicated to September choice to live free. These freedoms have been very confusing statement. Anyway I was very 11th and the fall of the twin trade towers. It is taken for granted and encroached upon for confused over my opinion of this memorial I a beautiful place for a memorial and if you too long. September 11th was a tragedy that felt an equal want to see Thomas Jefferson arrived in Port Jefferson after September 11th should serve to remind us of the power of lib- standing tall, free with his hand outstretched you would probably think it quite becoming of erty not the power of fear. I cannot live in daily welcoming visitors and villagers to the town as the village. Unfortunately I arrived in Port fear of terrorists nor can I accept that the I did to see a just and fair memorial to the sur- Jefferson long before September 11th and death of my brothers and sisters in the twin vivors of September 11th. Of course we can- remember when the monument was dedicated towers is a viable excuse to forget our consti- not have our cake in this world and eat it too to our forefather Thomas Jefferson. I also tutionally guaranteed freedoms. Thomas so a compromise is necessary. It is my opin- remember walking by the monument as it was Jefferson once said "I would rather be ion Thomas Jefferson should be returned to going through its transition from Thomas )osed to the inconveniences attending too his original location in the heart of the village. Jefferson to September 11th memorial. I stood much liberty than to those attending too small While we cannot forget our forefather we can- by and watched as they built the large black a degree of it." And I agree and I agree whole- not forget what happened on September 11th. marble square which would eventually be the heartedly with every ounce of my American The memorial should be moved right up the September 11th monument around Mr. freedom loving soul. Again I cannot say in street to its more befitting place amongst the Jefferson, instead of replacing or moving him good conscious I feel the people who put up memorial dedicated to the countless lives lost they essentially entombed him. At the time I this memorial thought against this philosophy in war. Many Americans have died as soldiers wondered what they were doing but on com- nor can I say they had anything but goodness in battle and there is no reason the few who pletion I realized what had happened and I and remembrance in their hearts. This has all have died as civilians should not be remem- could not make sense of what bothered me been extremely difficult for me to sort out bered in the same way; as both heroes in a about it until now two years later. You have to because I don't want to accuse anyone of struggle and victims of senseless violence. remember these were emotional times and I being unpatriotic or against the foundations of The true meaning of September 11th to me am sure the memorial was constructed by this country and at the same time I do not has been a realization that democracy, free- some people who probably lost loved ones in want to be accused of this myself. September dom, and liberty will never be given to you by the World Trade Center and it would be insen- 11th is neither a call for flag burning rhetoric anyone rather they must always be taken, sitive of me or anyone not focus on what they nor is it an excuse for flag waving rhetoric cherished, fought and died for. Every human felt and think. However at the same time I rather it is a call to remember and honor the being has the choice to live with the responsi- cannot bottle up what I think and feel when I true meaning of liberty, freedom, justice, and bility and risks of freedom or the mindless view this memorial. Knowing the truth about democracy and return to our very foundations submission of servitude. No one character in what lies inside the memorial I view this mon- a government for and by the people. This the history of this country symbolizes the latter ument as both a memorial to the tragedy of depends solely on the people, No government better than Thomas Jefferson(just do a search September 11th and as a tomb to the father of can give or take away freedom it is the under google Jefferson liberty quotes), In fact liberty Thomas Jefferson. I cannot help but responsibility of the people to decide. It is just I think he said it best when he said "the price feel that at the same time we are remember- as naive to think that all threats to liberty lie of freedom is eternal vigilance." To me ing something we are forgetting something outside our borders in foreign lands such as whether you fight for or against your country else. I cannot view this memorial without feel- Iraq, or Afghanistan as it is to think they all lie (or both at the same time) it does not matter ing some part of my freedom has been within our borders in the government and because there certainly is no nobler cause to trapped inside and some part of my country White House likewise it is equally nalve to die for than freedom and I hope everyone can has been lost in the confusion surrounding think no threats to liberty lie outside our bor- agree on that. such events. In fact it is the best part that is ders and none are within the White House.

_ L ______L LL LI ~~ __ ~

station, where students need to go at night if offered free of charge. The university police Campus Safety they need to buy something to eat: "I'm very has a Crime Stopper program which is one of in US. Campus Police by BS afraid to walk through there because there's the first for a University Douglas Little told us that the Everybody agrees that Stony Brook campus no light, and every time I took that path, I had Deputy Chief in protecting the is not a safe campus to walk at night. The stu- the sensation I was being followed, although I Campus Police is very active was not walking alone" says TK. "I know that Stony Brook students. The campus police is dents know it, the administrators know it, and actively working on programs for students certainly the campus police know that very there are a lot of drunk people at night around A.L. The personal safety education and for risk aware- well. The fact that there is an official walk- that path, so I never walk there" says ness. While students have the liberty of walk- escort for those who need to walk at night male students we interviewed also said that at ing by themselves wherever they want, at any confirms this. Our reporters interviewed sever- the "7-Eleven" path is the most dangerous and maybe time of the day or night they want, it remains al students and of course, none of them feel night, since you may be attacked to everyone's etioniwhether to safe to walk after 1:00 am by themselves. robbed there. dis, u~or not show the Services that are provided. The most First of all, the female students are scared However, the campus police statistics that most students who declare personal safe- important: if you are not sure what to do, call because of the rape that happened a few ty as one of their priorities, are not too careful one of these numbers, and you will get safe to weeks ago. Now the female students walk Besides the Walk your campus destination. only on "safe" routes, where there is a lot of when it comes to' practice. somebody For more information visit the campus police light, usually between two near dorms. Most Service (call 632-6337 to have at night), the Police also has a web-site at of the students interviewed think that the most escort you Personal Ride Service (call 632-RIDE and a http://ws.cc.stonybrook.edu/police/updinfo.htm dangerous path to walk at night is the path car will pick you up). Both these services are that leads to the 7- Eleven next to the train News and Blues 8 by Elizabeth Bojsza Concerts The Stony Brook theatre department will have a very busy season this year. The students will present several production in and around the Stony Brook campus. The following is a October- December 2003 list of upcoming theatre department and Cabaret productions for the fall semester: 17-Oct-03: Emerson String Quartet 8pm $33 October 15-26, Wed-Sat at 8pm, Sun at els of success in their pursuit of the 22-Oct-03: Contemporary Chamber Series 8pm 2pm: American Dream. From nihilistic apathy, to 1-Nov-03: Graduate Symphony Orchestra 8pm Theater 119, Suffolk County Community acts of violence, to provocative artistic per- $16/$8 College Campus formances, Bogosian's characters respond 4-Nov-03: Contemporary Chamber Series 8pm the Long Island Play Project's thoughtfully apd loudly as they confront 7-Nov-03: Music Wired! 8pm Heathen Valley by Romulus Linney racism, substance abuse and homophobia 11 -Nov-03: Jazz 8pm Faith,,abandonment and devotion are illu- in the existential black hole of their home- 13-Nov-03: Graduate Chamber Music 4pm&8pm minated in Romulus Linney's Heathen town. 13-Nov-03: Opera Scenes: 8pm $8/$4 Valley. Mr. Linney takes us on a haunting Directed by Frank Cardillo 14-Nov-03: Emerson String Quartet 8pm $33 journey to the raw and rural Appalachian Run Time: approx. 2hrs Students 16-Nov-03: Baroque 3pm Mountains of North Carolina in the 1840's. $6, Faculty/Staff $8, General $10 18-Nov-03: University (Undergrad) Orchestra 8pm The Episcopal Bishop aims to convert the Call 632-ARTS for tickets. $8/$4 wild and carnal people of "the valley that 19-Nov-03: Wind Ensemble 8pm $8/$4 forgot God" where violence, incest, spells November 10 at 7pm: 20-Nov-03: Contemporary Chamber Series 8pm and charms are the norm. An ex-convict, Theatre 119, Suffolk County Community 24-Nov-03: Graduate Chamber Music 8pm "the worst preacher in the history of reli- College Campus 25-Nov-03: Graduate Chamber Music 8pm gion" is chosen to shepherd this flock. A Asylum Theatre Company in partnership 6-Dec-03: Graduate Symphony Orchestra 8pm life of meaning and social goodness is born with the Long Island Play Project presents: $16/$8 and thrives until zealous pursuits to serve A staged reading of Butterfly Collection by 9-Dec-03: Contemporary Chamber Series 8pm God and one's own personal quest clash Theresa Rebeck 12-Dec-03: Choral Ensembles 8pm $8/$4 - at with the undying devotion to serve one's In its mission to develop new and exciting Wang Chapel fellow man. contemporary theatre, the LIPP and 14-Dec-03: Choral Ensembles 3pm Directed by Steve Lantz-Gefroh Asylum Theatre Company will present a Run Time: approx. 2hrs Students $5, staged reading of this new play by Theresa Faculty/Staff $5, General $6 Rebeck. Butterfly Collection is family All the concerts take place at Staller Center unless otherwise noted. Call for 451-4163 tickets. drama about a Nobel laureate and the dys- function his success has showered on his November 6, 8, 14, 16, Thursday-Sat at family and everyone who comes into his 8pm, Sun at 2pm: life. Shows at Staller Theatre Two, Staller Center, SBU Directed by Valeri Lantz-Gefroh the Long Island Play Project's Run Time: 1hr, 30min FREE Center How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel admission In this 1998 Pulitzer Prize-winning play, a October- December 2003 woman looks back at her coming of age November 20-22 at 8pm: and her sexual awakening at the tutelage Fannie Brice Theater, Roosevelt Quad Saturday, October 11, 2003 * Mandy Patinkin in of her uncle. Moving in and out of her SBU Concert * 8 pm, Main Stage memories, she recounts how, being alienat- The Cabaret presents: Friday, October 17, 2003 * Emerson String ed by the antics of her crude family she "An evening of Tennessee Williams' one- Quartet * 8 pm, Recital Hall was increasingly drawn to the one person acts" Saturday, October 18, 2003 * Bela Fleck & the who made her feel well-endowed in mind America's prolific dramatist, Tennessee Flecktones *8 pm, Main Stage as well as in body. This delicately told Williams, illuminates the human condition Saturday, October 25, 2003 * Ballet de Cuba Don story approaches subject matter consid- in spiritually bleak corners of the American Quixote * 8 pm, Main Stage ered taboo in an honest way-even south. Sunday, October 26, 2003 * London Baroque for employing a healthy dose of humor. This Directed by Lydia Franco-Hodges Young Artists * 3 pm, Recital Hall play will challenge and amuse with its com- Run time: 45min $3 sug- Sunday, October 26, 2003 * London Baroque * 7 pelling content and surprisingly affirming gested donation taken at the door. pm, Recital Hall conclusion. Sunday, November 2, 2003 * Barrage *7 pm, Main Directed by Gene Terruso December 11-13 at 8pm: Stage RunTime: lhr, 45 min Students Fannie Brice Theater, Roosevelt Quad Saturday, November 8, 2003 * Pilobolus * 8 pm, $6, Faculty/Staff $8, General $10 SBU Main Stage Call 632-ARTS for tickets. The Cabaret presents: Sunday November 9, 2003 * Chava Alberstein * 7 The Little Theatre of the Green pm, Recital Hall November 7, 9,13,15, Thurs-Sat at 8pm, Goose Friday, November 14, 2003 * Emerson String Sun at2pm: The pearl of the Polish avant-garde the- Quartet * 8 pm, Recital Hall Th eatriTw Staller Center SBU atre, The Little Theatre of the Green Goose Saturday, November 15, 2003 *Krasnoyarsk the £8ng Island Play Project's will captivate and confuse, playfully toying National Dance of Siberia * 8 pm, Main Stage subUrbia by Eric Bogosian with weighty dramatic plights and existen- Friday, November 21, 2003 * A Tribute to Herbie Bogosian dramatizes an intense cross-sec- tial conundrums. Mann - Dave Valentin, flute * 8 pm, Recital Hall tion of youthful disillusionment in the socio- Directed by Brian Pringle Sunday, November 23, 2003 * Yamato Drummers political climate of the present day. Six Run time: 45min $3 sug- of Japan * 7pm, Main Stage: angst-filled twenty-somethings battle each gested donation taken at the door. Sunday, December 7, 2003 * Fred Garbo Inflatable other to validate their own creative ideas, Theatre * 3 pm, Main Stage and to defend their sharply contrasting lev-

SNews and Blues 9 senses. Myriad of sounds ranging from human voices, to steps, to water running, cre- CITY ARTS ate an exciting environment and a worthwhile production. This production is worth your $ by Jasmina Sinanovic 10, but don't forget to bring your student ID (staff writer, NYC correspondent) which gets you in atthis discount price. For and Triumphant Death of Julia Pastrana, the more info on Amphibian Productions and Julia Ugliest Woman in the World at the Greenwich go to Street Theatre. After a few minutes in which. http://www.amphibianproductions.org/juliapas- one is watching (in lights) a carnivalesque trana.asp. introduction to the world of a 19th century Stony Brook Alumini Overtaking the World traveling circus and freak show, the star, the For those of you who could not make the trek ugliest woman alive is introduced and just to Minnesota or Colorado for it's previous before we see her everything goes dark. screenings, "Eat My Dust - A Fairy's Tale," a From there on, we listen and smell her story, video by Glenn Webb, graduate of Stony but the sight of the play we are following is left Brook's MFA in Arts Program, starring Glenn to our imagination. Based on the real story, Webb, Jasmina Sinanovic (MFA in Julia was a 4'5" Mexican peasant who was Dramaturgy from SBU) and Lawrence Mesich exploited by an American opportunist and dis- (MFA in Arts, still at the SBU), will screen at played as a freak. While very bothersome, the d.u.m.b.o Short Film and Video festival at the story is lightened by Julia's beautiful spirit 55 Washington Street, 3rd Floor, that wants to live and be happy like everyone Brooklyn, NY October 18th, 3-11 pm & 19th, else. Lent, Julia's show master, is almost a 2-7:30 pm 2003 typical villain; however, because story seems Admission free to be told through his eyes quite often, we can Within the festival "Eat My Dust - A Fairy's almost feel ambiguous about his villany. We Tale," is scheduled to screen on Sunday can almost feel ambiguous about Julia's suf- October 15th during the "Carnival of Chaos" fering as well, since most of her suffering is program. silent and sound is all we have to relate to this world of perversion in which humans are dis- Saturday October 18 played like animals. However, it is because 3:00 - Where is my Friend's Home? the play is not invoking pathos and is not ask- 4:40 - On the Line ing for our empathy we can enjoy in it and be 6:00- Recalculating Spectacle horrified by the events that happened with a 7:15 - Nobody Walks in L.A. clear mind. One could almost say that the 8:35 - Surfing Systems play is Brechtian. Unfortunately, the senses 10:00 - Two Live Video Performances that were promised to be stimulated are not exactly provoked. Vague musky vapors can Sunday October 19 And the Darkness Covers it All ,S:uulil - I -uan.a...n Amphibian Productions, Shaun be smellea wnenever 2:00 - Tijuana Calling Prendergast's The True History of the Tragic Julia passes by but 4:30 - Carnival of Chaos Life and Triumphant Death of Julia Pastrana, that seems to be all. 6:00 - She Had Her Gun All Ready the Ugliest Woman in the World, October 9th- Touch does not happen 19tha t the Greenwich Street Theatre, 547 except if an actor "'Eat My Dust - A Fairy's Tale, is rich Greenwich St. (between Charlton and brushes by you by an vith metaphor and symbol, simulta- Vandam) Tues.-Sat. at 8pm, Matinees Sat.- accident. J. V. leously narrative and surreal, this Sun. at 2pm. Tickets can be bought at the Mercanti, the director, ;tory of Fairy Quite Contrary who in his interview with >verthrows the Fairy Queen and wins door or through TheaterMania.com (212-352- 1"% r% I-- me spii IueenaomOT -1 a....gIuen 3101). Tickets are $20 General, $10 Students Dan Bacalzo in the spoils OT Uueenaom -a goiaen and Seniors. TheatreMania.com said he thought that would crown and a sexy mate (or in this case - a To watch a play in the dark seems an oxy- have been "scary for everyone." I wish some- Pesky Rabbit) - activates a much wider cultur- moron, but that is exactly when happens to one told Mr. Mercanti, it was all right to scare al debate." one during Amphibian Productions perform- people in theatres occasionally. Nevertheless, - Les LeVeque and Daniella Dooling ance of The True History of the Tragic Life the sound makes up for the lack of other ______Godfrey Palaia, c) Elections Bylaws GSO 101. - Contact General Manager [email protected] or (continued from page 2) Lounge Committee Chair Shawn Pottorf http://www.sinc.sunysb.edu/Clubs/gso/elec- ([email protected]) with all tions/ElectionBylaw2.pdf list: e) GSO Senate email inquiries. d) Budget Bylaws should be soon postd on - for announcemrents(:senate- the web I@l sts.sunisb.ed): contat SO6 Secretary if BINDING DOCUMENTS: e) 2003-4 GSO Budget: you wish to join http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/Clubs/gso/budg- - discussion forum: a) GSO Constitution: main document ets/budgets.htm http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gso_sbu Contact Treasurer with any questions, f) Graduate Student Lounge "University Cafe" http://www.sinc.sunysb.edu/Clubs/gso/const.ht RAP applications, funding requests. Ballroom, entrance - Located at SB Union ml from the patio b) Standing Committee Bylaws by Masa Prodanovic, for hours, - See http://www.universitycafe.org http://www.sinc.sunysb.edu/Clubs/gso/doc- [email protected] schedules and all info. entertainment ument/scbs2003.pdf

News and Blues 10 Windows version called Doors'04. Among oth- 2. On the hard-disk, you will find Bill Gates' A6AP6Mid JOKs ers, the new version is going to feature the fingerprints (collection disk). by BS following: 3. The keyboard will have 3 extra keys: 1. The windows will be closed tightly, but in "Restart", "I said restart" and "Dial 911" exchange to this, there will be doors (you Psychology Department: have to recognize, door are much more natu-- Med School: ral) for entrance and exit. Note: to open a Hands-on experience to show the different door, you have to click on the key-hole if you levels of irritation for the human beings: find one. Ifpot, you have to restart. 2 Doctors come out of the surgery: We're going to call a random phone number,- - I think that the surgery went quite good .. says the professor. First level, noirritation: - What surgery ? I thought this was an autop- 2. The Hard Disk will be managed by triple- - Hello, may I speak to George please ? space.bin .This is a highly ophisticated pro -There is no George here, wrong number. gram, which usually shouldn't take more Second level: slight iritation. We call the same At 1he Counseing Center: space than your harddrive. But if this : number: pens, you have to either change the hard with - May I speak to George please ? have to help me, doc, I have a bigger one, either you have to change your Patient:-You -No, there is no George here, I'm sorry. computer (they recommend Microsoft amnesia. Third level: annoyance We call him again: Pentium-Insvide a ou.tor-OK., Since when did you realize that ? -May I speak to George please ? nt:-RealizeR what ? 3. The new program can work in 3 ways: 3 Pa - Look man, in this house there is no George. bytes (still in testiqng, 2x16 bytes (sa od again: Fourth level: irritation, we call him or 4x8 bytes (debugger mode which w, aio Pient-l have a sm ii problem, l think that -May I speak to George please ? op e don't pay attention to me. you to follow step-by-step the runwning of the -There is no damn' George here, leave me Doctor-Next ,.° programs with a hanoi.ed calc.ator, to caic alone. late the possible errors). Fifth level: furious irritaion. We call him again Patient;- have the imprbssion that people 4.You will not need to reinstall WXindowz: rein- -May I speak to George please ? don't take me seriously stallation will be made automatically, from xxx -What the hack is wrong with you man, there's Doctor: -You're kidding! to xxx days (xxx= between 1 and 2) no George here! Last level: insanity. We call him again: Patient: - Doc, I noticed that I cannot make NEW! The Microsoft-Intel-inside Special com- -Hello, this is George. Anybody looking for my mind, lately puter: me ? After a short break: -Or, can I ? 1. Plug-and-Play: you will be allowed to con- Computer Science: nect to it any kind of electronic device. The A new Windowz version (Doors'04) damages will be taken care of by the insur- Microsoft will release later this year a new ance agency.

I ------I - -- I __ --- I ------I ------~ I ~I I --- i - - --~ -~--a - - _ _ ------Stony Love Solutions for last 15. Rocking Violently (10) issue's crossword: 18. Supply of skills (10) by JZ Bich 20. Garden (4) 23. Bottle for wine (6) Dear JZ, around for some less complicated situ- Across I was wandering if you could help me ations. 24. Hostile (8) with a little problem I have. I was at a -JZ 1. Bride's mate (5) 26. Massive Structure (8) party and ended up having sex with a 4. Lovable (9) 27. Hip Joint (7) -girl. Later I met her when I was with Dear JZ, 9. Cover (7) 28. To make responsive (9) for pain (7) my best friend and I found out she was it seems to me that nowdays everyone 10. Medicine 29. Resplendent (archaic) my friend's brother's girlfriend. I didn't is opsessed with sex. Why is this so? 11. Curse (8) (5) carved in relief tell my friend what happened, but I will Can't people think about anything 12. Gems (6) bad because I tell her everything. else? Can't you? 14. To overflow (4) Also, shouldn't her brother know? But -Annoyed then is this my problem? I also liked the girl. Dear Annoyed, -Confused it seems to me that you are not getting any nowdays; how could you other- Dear Readers, Dear Confused, wise explain your irritation with sex? Wander no longer. Let the whole Yes people can think about other While News and Blues has tried to accommodate the thing be forgotten, unless, of course, things, that's how they came up with breadth and variety of the student population, it will you love dramas. If you create a the atom bomb. And yes [can think be our constant endeavor to find new and exciting mess it is not very likely the girl will about something else, just choose not ways to cater to your special interests. Please feel want to be with you again. You will to. As a matter of fact I am trying to free to give us your valuable comments and sugges- put your friend in the situation where decide if I should go out and pick up tions at [email protected]. This is an open call she (or is it he?) has to choose to tell some lovely stranger this night or if I'd to all graduate students to expose your talents, and her (or his) brother or to hide the rather just go home and fantasize contribute any work of art to News and Blues. You whole thing from him, which, as you about sex right away. Hm, tough may send your articles to [email protected]. know, is not the prettiest situation. choice. Will let you know next month, So, as long as you and the girl had a -JZ Editors, News and Blues one nighter and the situation ended there and then let her deal with her Send your questions to relationship and you go and roam jzbich @yahoo.com! 11 and Blues News News and Blues 11 compact and useful for human beings in the operative reportedly to exact revenge for the MOTHIMN MW near future. operative's husband's (an ex -ambassador) Hope they don't use this technology to oper- disclosure in the media about forged Niger by H.Roark ate remote controls of TV sets that would take yellow cake (uranium not the edible pumpkin .couch potato-ism to a whole new level. Also flavored cake) documents. President bush Dream Of Californication one wishes someone would come up with a ordered full cooperation to the investigation, device for mental paralysis, which seems to but rejected demands for an independent "It's the edge of the world universally affect politicians. counsel inquiry. And all of western civilization Some cynics were wondering if the investi- The sun may rise in the East Project 921 gation would turn out to be similar to At least it settles in the final location Saddam's election under the previous Baath It's understood that Hollywood The title straight out of a spy novel is the party rule, i.e., procedure for procedure sake sells Californication" name for the till now heavily guarded secret with a predetermined outcome. -Red Hot Chili Peppers (07/10/2000) mission of the Chinese government to put the first ever-Chinese national into space. To boob or not to boob! One more dream comes true in California. In case any of you made a connection of One more Cinderella story, the glass shoe did the 9-2-1 (read 9am to lam) with the hard- The FDA (food and drug administration) is fit Arnold's oversized foot and the people of working work hours of Chinese you were wrestling with the problem of "lifting" an California got their princess after an epic probably right. The launch was made suc- eleven year old ban on -you know- a "lifting" recall when the unwanted stepmother Davis cessfully on October 15th from a remote device, silicone breast implants. Routine sales was thrown outta Sacramento unceremoni- launch pad location, the Jiuquan launch site of the silicone gel implants was banned and ously and Mr. Bustamente being busted and 1,000 miles west of Beijing in the Gobi desert. sale limited to breast cancer patients after shoved to the sidelines. Well the princess may Shenzhou V (divine vessel... and one thought concerns were expressed that leaking not be a she and she might not be svelte, but china had no belief in divine forces) space- implants (and we thought only white house hey! What did you expect? This is California ship, aboard the long march II rocket put had leaks) could cause serious illness. baby! "Taiko-naut" yang Li wei in orbit ten minutes Leaking implants have caused severe local Arnold Schwarznegger successfully defeat-. after launch (yang went before yin blimey! has trauma sometimes resulting in painful dis- ed Governor "Grayer" Davis in the race for the world order been changed by that???). eases like fibromyalgia. Other concerns of California, quite a feat considering that The successful launch has catapulted china rheumatoid diseases like Lupus, and mental California is a democratic stronghold. Last into a regional superpower ahead of India and illnesses have no scientific evidence, but still minute allegations of Conan the groper didn't Japan. China has joined the elite club of the are anecdotally supported by some previous stick on the Eraser thanks to Maria Shriver erstwhile USSR (and present day Russia) and users as to be a result of the implants. sticking up for her husband. The question now USA to be the third country to demonstrate Inamed the company that wants the sale is there going to be an independent counsel the political and economical will to put a ban "lifted," argues that silicone implants have on the governor or is the republican party human being into space. been exonerated by eleven years of studies. A going to search the dictionary for definition of group of pro-implant women argue it to be a "'Non consensual Groping" since we already. Curse of the bambino case of freedom of choice, but one wonders now know the definition of sex thanks to why any self respecting woman would want to Kenneth Starr and Bill Clinton. In 1920 the Boston Red Sox who were at choose to go through such trauma and poten- the top of their game, made one of the worst tial risk? (To please men! Where happened to No Monkeying this! trade offs in baseball history. A young player you my feminist friends?) We are all for the was sold to the Yankees for 125000$. His 'uplift-ment of women but not at the expense Scientists at Duke University North Carolina name was Babe Ruth. Babe went on to of ones health...ok that was male chauvinistic have demonstrated an important break- become of the one of the greatest of baseball, and genuine concern at the same time! But . through, which would help millions of paralytic and the Yankees have won 26 World Series. hey men are pigs remember? people around the globe. Dr Miguel Nicolelis As for the red sox they have not won a world and his colleagues implanted microelectrodes series since 1918. Thus begun the Curse of into the brains of two rhesus monkeys. the bambinos. Every year die hard red sox The electrodes transmit faint signals to a fans hope this is the year that the curse would computer system the researchers have devel- be broken. As the red sox made the play offs oped to recognize patterns of signals that rep- this year hope has again be revived and sup- resent particular movements of an animal's porters leading fans to try everything under arm. These signals are then translated and in the sky including feng shui to thwart the curse. turn control a robotic arm. Despite the best effort on the voodoo front, The implanted devices thus enables the Yankees lead sox by 3-2. Maybe the red sox monkeys to controls the joystick of a video should try time travel and fix the curse or game through thoughts alone (watch out all maybe they should just play better!!! the tantrics and gurus mind over matter is soon possible, hell! even monkeys can do Leak in the White House that! Maybe time to find a new line of work?). The monkeys Arora and Ivy had been previ- October is fast becoming a bleak month for ously taught to play the game and apparently the White House. To compound the problems they enjoyed playing it (hmmm monkey mortal Mr Bush already has, much of last week was combat? Or is it lame like banana boat race?) spent on assessing the damage caused by a Here comes the juicy part, the monkeys White House leak. No! No! the plumbing in soon figured out they didn't have to move their White House is just fine and no ones implant arms to control the joystick and thereafter is leaking either (read next story). This is a their hands stopped moving (apparently lazi- leak of a different sort. White house adminis- ness is also an evolutionary trait). trators leaked the identity of a former CIA Scientists hope to make this technology News and Blues 12