Rebecca, Choices, and Responsibility A sermon by Rev. Fulp-Eickstaedt At Immanuel Presbyterian Church, McLean VA On July 9th, 2017

Genesis 24:34-38, 42-49, 58-67

Today I am continuing our summer sermon series on Women of the Bible by looking at Rebekah, the wife of and mother of and . Today’s scripture reading recounts the story of how she became Isaac’s wife. It all began when , Isaac’s father, who had become quite old, sent one of his servants back to the land of to find Isaac a wife. Haran was the place Abram had left to come to the years before. When the servant arrived in Haran, he met Rebecca at a spring, she provided water for him and his camels, and she told him that he and his camels could spend the night at her father’s house. Our story picks up with Abraham’s servant talking with Rebecca’s family about the events that had happened earlier that day.

So he said, ‘I am Abraham’s servant. The LORD has greatly blessed my master, and he has become wealthy; he has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, male and female slaves, camels and donkeys. And my master’s wife bore a son to my master when she was old; and he has given him all that he has. My master made me swear, saying, “You shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I live; but you shall go to my father’s house, to my kindred, and get a wife for my son.”

‘I came today to the spring, and said, “O LORD, the God of my master Abraham, if now you will only make successful the way I am going! I am standing here by the spring of water; let the young woman who comes out to draw, to whom I shall say, ‘Please give me a little water from your jar to drink,’ and who will say to me, ‘Drink, and I will draw for your camels also’—let her be the woman whom the LORD has appointed for my master’s son.”

‘Before I had finished speaking in my heart, there was Rebekah coming out with her water-jar on her shoulder; and she went down to the spring, and drew. I said to her, “Please let me drink.” She quickly let down her jar from her shoulder, and said, “Drink, and I will also water your camels.” So I drank, and she also watered the camels. Then I asked her, “Whose daughter are you?” She said, “The daughter of , Nahor’s son, whom bore to him.” So I put the ring on her nose, and the bracelets on her arms. Then I bowed my head and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who had led me by the right way to obtain the daughter of my master’s kinsman for his son. Now then, if you will deal loyally and truly with my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so that I may turn either to the right hand or to the left.’

At this point in the narrative her and Bethuel her father respond, “This thing is from God, take her and go.” Then the servant gives jewelry to Rebecca and gifts to her brother and to her mother and he and his men spend the night there. The next morning, the servant is ready to go back to Abraham and Isaac with Rebecca in tow. But her brother and mother say, “Wait, let her stay here with us for ten more days, then she can go.” When the servant protests that he needs to go right away and he needs a decision, Rebecca’s brother and mother say something unusual. They say they’re going to ask her. They give her a choice. And here is where it picks up.

And they called Rebekah, and said to her, ‘Will you go with this man?’ She said, ‘I will.’ So they sent away their sister Rebekah and her nurse along with Abraham’s servant and his men. And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, ‘May you, our sister, become thousands of myriads; may your offspring gain possession of the gates of their foes.’

Then Rebekah and her maids rose up, mounted the camels, and followed the man; thus the servant took Rebekah, and went his way.

Now Isaac had come from Beer-lahai-roi, and was settled in the Negeb. Isaac went out in the evening to walk in the field; and looking up, he saw camels coming. And Rebekah looked up, and when she saw Isaac, she slipped quickly from the camel, and said to the servant, ‘Who is the man over there, walking in the field to meet us?’ The servant said, ‘It is my master.’ So she took her and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent. He took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

There is so much of life that feels like it is out of our control. When I said this to a colleague of mine, she replied, “It feels like it is out of our control because it actually is.” So much of what goes on around us, what happens to us, and to the people we love, and in and to the larger world is beyond our control. So much. That’s a tough pill to swallow, but it is true. This plays out in so many aspects of life.

Just this morning, I came across a Facebook thought for the day from a friend that said, “You can’t control how other people receive your energy. Anything you do or so gets filtered through the lens of whatever they are going through at the moment, which is not about you. Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.” This person wasn’t a preacher, but it is a good word for preachers to here and a good word for all of us to remember, especially those of us who communicate for a living.

So much of life is beyond our control. Not only the way people receive our energy and our words— not only their reactions to us—but also their actions period. That’s really one of the most frustrating things about life and the way it unfolds. Until we get that circumstances are what they are—at least for now—and that we can only do our little part to change them by controlling what we can, then life will drive us crazy. Watching the news and reading the paper and seeing the pain and injustice in the world and the heartache and heartbreak that our friends and loved ones endure will make us nuts until we can come to grips with the fact that there is so much of life that really is beyond our control.

Long ago, my mother gave me a t-shirt that had the words General Manager written across the front. On the shirt, there was a big red line through those words. On the back it said, “For Peace of Mind, Resign as General Manager of the Universe.” That’s God’s . Not your job. Be still, the t shirt said, and know that I am God.

So in a world that feels so out of our control, what IS our job? What is our task? What do we have power over?

The story we heard today, about the matriarch Rebecca, wife of Isaac and mother of , is at first glance a quirky “how did you and your spouse meet?” story. Having heard a of those stories, I can tell you that they are almost always pretty interesting. In fact, my wife Judith is even now at her church over in Arlington telling the story of how she and I met and decided to marry at seminary. I love hearing those “how did you meet?” stories. In cultures where marriage is arranged, I think they are probably a little less interesting however. And Rebecca and Isaac’s marriage is for all intents and purposes arranged. A servant prays for God to show him a specific sign, a very specific sign, so that he’ll know which girl to bring back to Canaan for Isaac to wed, Rebecca is the one who fills the conditions, jewelry and gifts are given to her and her family, and a deal is struck. Except. Except that Rebecca is given an opportunity to say no. She is asked by her family, “Will you go with this man?” To which she says yes. But as a colleague of mine says, “Yes is only really a yes if no is also an option.”

Here in the Biblical text, in an ancient Israelite culture where women often were given very little say—at least directly—Rebecca is given some agency. She is given a chance, in the midst of unfolding circumstances, to say Yes or No. She has a choice. And the choices we ourselves make, in the midst of the circumstances life brings us, are finally just about all we really have control over. The choices we make about the attitudes and perspectives we’ll adopt, the way we’ll spend our time and our money, where we’ll devote our energies, that’s what you and I control. Rebecca had a choice.

Judith and I did not have an arranged marriage. Although it seemed and seems to so many of the people around us that we were made for each other, and circumstances conspired to put us together (and it might have been otherwise), and I do think God had everything to do with it, we also made a choice and continue to make a choice every day to be together. Every so often, usually when she is traveling with me and things don’t go according to my plan, I wonder if Judith reconsiders her choice. Because my family knows that I am not fun to be around when things don’t go according to my travel itinerary.

The week before last, we had the opportunity to go to several Nats games. Yes, they were playing the Cubs. For the Tuesday and Wednesday games we had a parking pass for one of the lots near the stadium, and I thought we left the house in plenty of time to get there and get settled. We’d taken the Metro the night before, and it had been at least a year since I’d driven to the stadium, so I just picked Judith up and plugged the address into the GPS and set out for Nats Park. Traffic was worse than I’d figured and at a certain point the GPS directions took us right up to a road block—still some distance from the park. So we had to go a different way. This is when what my family calls Travel Aaron kicked in. It got worse when we missed another turn. And I started to melt down—I don’t know if anybody else melts down around here, but my melt down included stuff like, “We might as well head just home, we’re going to miss half the game. We might miss the whole game.” That kind of stuff. Maybe I missed my nap that day. As I was launching into the meltdown, Judith turned to me and said, “It is within your power to choose how you will respond to this situation.” When my rant continued to escalate, she said again, “It is within your power, Aaron, to choose how you will respond to this situation. You can be calm and look for the next correct turn, or you can ruin the whole evening for us. It’s your choice.” She repeated like a honking horn, “It is within your power to choose,” several times. And I settled down, and though we missed part of the first inning—the only run the Cubs scored—the evening was enjoyable. I think God knew what God was doing when God put Judith in my life.

It is within your control to choose how you will respond to circumstances. We may not have a lot of control over the circumstances themselves, but we do have the power to choose how we will respond to them.

Some time ago I came across the following devotional piece on the Internet. This is what it said: The 92 year old petite, well-poised and proud mother-in-law of my best friend, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away making the move necessary.

Maurine Jones is the most lovely, gracious, dignified woman that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. While I have never aspired to attain her depth of wisdom, I do pray that I will learn from her vast experience. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it”, she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room ... just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied.

"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged...it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it...It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away...just for this time in my life.”

Wow. That humbles me. It kind of puts Travel Aaron to shame. It is within our control to choose how we will respond to circumstances. We may not have a lot of control over the circumstances themselves, but we do have the power to choose how we will respond to them. Will it be with grace and mercy and kindness? Will it be by making choices that lead to justice and kindness, choices that reflect God’s heart for the least of these in our lives and in our world? Will our choices be centered in the loving kindness and sure presence of God or based in fear and resentment and anxiety? Will we use whatever influence we have to speak up for and act on behalf of the hungry, the thirsty, the vulnerable, the stranger, the sick, the imprisoned, or will we choose to be quiet?

The way we respond to circumstances is within our control. That’s a lesson I learned from Rebecca, the Biblical one. And I sometimes get reminded of it by the Rebecca who lives under my roof. She’s a lot like her mother. In Jesus’ name. Amen.