Lesson 15 Opening Thoughts on Patience:

When we are a patient due to sickness, it is also to be Patient. We need to bear our cross and wait for healing. We are always a patient under the care of the Master Healer.

Impatience is when we let what “we think” should happen rule our lives and determine our responses rather than accepting the of what is happening out of love.

Whenever pain happens we think it should go away and bring us back to “normal.” But if there is no change there is no growth. There can be no conversion without the cross. Lent asks us to open ourselves up to conversion, growth and change by looking for the cross. The sign of the cross is a symbol of the three areas in which we seek spiritual growth. The upward motion to our forehead signifies our growing in offered to God. The downward motion to our hearts signifies our inward growth through fasting and denial of ourselves. Finally, we make an outward motion to signify Christ’s outstretched arms giving his love to all the world and asking us to give alms and love to each other.

In exercise, we understand that if there is no pain there is no gain, and we know the pain is necessary and only temporary. In spiritual growth we must be patient and long suffering in bearing our crosses. Our crosses long suffered are temporary and necessary steps on the road to our and eternal life with our lover.

Are we ready to seek and bear our crosses?

Comments from Father John Hardon

If I want to be happy, I must be willing to endure some pain. I put the adjective some pain in there to make it easy on you. This just stands to reason. In the most ordinary human relations, whatever we want comes to us at a cost. Things we normally don’t like to do, we do, because we want something which has a price tag. Why then must I be willing to endure pain? Because true joy costs me. It is expensive, it is dear. There are two kinds or levels of joy. There’s natural joy and there’s supernatural joy. And I am speaking from the depths of my , I may have to suffer internally, naturally and deeply if I want to be happy supernaturally or spiritually. These are not clichés, this is not poetry. The only persons who are truly happy are those who understand the meaning of pain.

They must live their faith by using their wills to practice the one on which Christ tells us our eternal destiny depends. Christians must love God, which means the God who was crucified on His cross to teach us that we must be crucified on our cross. Christians must love others, especially those who do not love them. As the Savior made so plain, "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if we have love for one another."

Father Hardon, a graduate of John Carroll, died in 2000 of bone cancer. His secretary reports even when crippled with pain he continued to celebrate his daily Mass, to assist the Chaplain in anointing the sick, and to carry Holy Communion to those confined in bed. He held monthly meetings and continued even up to the last couple of weeks before he died to keep in contact with the bishops, priests, sisters and laity, with whom he worked so closely. His pain never caused him to miss an opportunity to save a soul. As is inevitable among the aged, physical problems were many and Father saw many different specialists. The medical people, however, were all evangelized by him. Many nurses and doctors were touched by the way he endured pain and by his heroic patience. A week before Father Hardon's death, he was hospitalized; the test results showed that his cancer had spread, yet even then he did not complain. "He was a great example of the old-time iron-man Jesuit. He was a man of prayer, and he never stopped working." Father Hardon was a spiritual director to Mother Teresa of Calcutta in her later years, and to many lesser-known Catholics. Fr. Hardon lived what he taught. "He spoke of sacrifices, suffering, humility and faithfulness, and people could see the sacrifices, suffering, humility and faithfulness in his own life," "Arising from his bed he would begin to teach on one of the three favorite topics: the crucifixion, death, and suffering. He prayed short aspirations repeatedly, 'Jesus I trust in thee,' 'Jesus I love thee,' along with other . He loved to venerate the crucifix and his last few days he would run his hands across Christ's body touching His holy wounds, while someone read to him, from his Meditations on the Cross . In his room hung a large close up of the Jesus-Divine Mercy picture, which he venerated throughout his last days. "On the Tuesday before he died he had been given medication which elevated the pain, and he began to say, 'More! More! More!' "The volunteer asked, 'More what Father?' "'More suffering!' he said. "On Friday a rosary had been given to him which he held onto tightly in his left hand, until he entered eternal life on Saturday."

Lesson 15 Closing Thoughts on Patience: Taking up our cross means being willing to take up the cross of another, just as Jesus took up our crosses. Simon of Cyrene was forced to carry Christ’s cross. We aren’t forced to pick up another’s cross but do we see and hear those in need? More importantly, do we then act to satisfy that need, even if it is the simplest of acts.

Christ is Love. St. Paul states that one of the of love is patience. Christ is the perfect example of Patience at grade 3 – one who seeks suffering. His mission in life was to accept the burden of all mankind’s suffering past, present and future and bear it to His Cross. Christ is shows both Patience and Long Suffering with each of us individually and all of us collectively in communion.

Reviewing the four fruits of the Holy Spirit we have covered thus far and how they are intertwined we see:

Charity - Christ’s love transformed into acts of service to others.

Joy – When we have Christ’s love moving us to act in His name, we know the fullness of Christ’s presence in our soul by the indwelling of His Holy Spirit, which makes us full of Joy.

Peace – When the joy of the Holy Spirit dwells in us then we have the peace of Christ in our . “Peace be with you, my peace I give you.”

Patience – When the peace of the Holy Spirit dwells in us and our souls are at peace with God our savior, then we are able to bear our crosses and adversity with the same forbearance as the Father and Christ endures our sinfulness. Patience enables us to do what is right even when we experience evil. We must have the same patience with others that God has with us. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us’

Find the four fruits we have studied in this prayer.

The beauty of life is to be found not in luxury, but in simplicity; In sweat of the brow, sweat of the hands, sweat of the heart; In of work, without of gold. To be loyal in friendship, patient in suffering, and rich in laughter is to be a good comrade in the workshop of life, and to such faithful servants God will pay wages of peace and joy.

The fourth sorrowful mystery is the Carrying of the Cross. The fruit of the mystery is to grow in Patience and Long Suffering. Christ who is rightous and without sin, suffered persecution, humiliation yet he picked up His cross and carried it for our sins. Simon of Cyrene was forced to help Christ carry the cross and thereby helped another carry his cross. We are asked to carry our cross out of love for God, the Great Healer, who gave his Humanity so that we might have the right to salvation.

Lesson 15 Questions and Answers

How has our Father shown his patience and long-suffering with his people and with us? See 1a and 1b.

How can exercising the gift of patience make us more like Jesus? See 2 a, b, c and d.

What are the three different aspects of patience? • Patience has three (3) grades or angles.

1) To bear difficulties without interior complaint. This grade is most similar with "Webster’s" definition of patience. 2) To use hardships to make progress in virtue. 3) To desire the cross and afflictions out of love for God and accept them with spiritual jo y.

• Level 1 … difficulties that just hit us during the natural course of the day is level one. The spiritual exercise is to accept that it’s God’s will. “thy will be done, lord.” Here is the difficult part, even if the outcome is not what I exactly want, like losing my job, the death of a loved one. The acceptance that there is a bigger plan out there that is beyond my humble ability to comprehend. This is, I think, what the nun’s meant when you stubbed your toe and they said stop complaining and offer it up to God. • Level 2 … and as if accepting isn’t hard enough the next level would be to then leverage that hardship to our advantage towards interior growth both for ourselves and for others. We have saints among us all the time exercising this. A parishioner, who two years ago was told to have only 6 months, has hung on to serve a child who was institutionalized and needed care. While dying before our very eyes this parishioner, without the slightest bitterness, shows constant love and affection for everyone. What beauty and an example of the virtue of leveraging this hardship of death to the growth of virtue for themselves and others. Joan of Arc praying while being burned at the stake, St Maximilan Kolbe singing and praying just before his death at Auschwitz. • Level 3 … This is beyond the total comprehension of most mortal beings, to actually “desire” the cross. To most of us this is absolutely absurd, boarding insanity, but to actually seek out pain and discomfort to identify with Christ on the cross. Wow, this is radical. St Ignatius, founder of the Jesuits, St Jose Maria Escriva, founder of Opus Dei, Blessed Mother Theresa, Blessed Pope JPII to name a few actually used suffering to draw closer to God by means such as prayer on their knees on a concrete floor. Pope JPII would pray all night prostrate with arms spread as if on the cross on a marble e floor in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Most Catholics are familiar with the exercise during lent of giving something up. We mere mortals may choose a list of daily mortification that we use even outside of lent such as walking up stairs instead of the elevator, not wearing a hat or gloves in the cold, leaving some food on our plate, skipping desert or that nice glass of wine at dinner etc. As I said most people will think this is folly, but we should respect those saints or people seeking sanctity who quietly persevere in generous acts of pious sacrifice to identify with and come closer to our lord Jesus Christ.

What three conditions should be observed in order to exercise patience properly? Is it the right time to respond? Is the motivation for my response based on the right principle(s)? By responding now, am I acting in the right way?

God's Patience with Us

1. No one has had greater patience or long-suffering with us than God himself. Psalm 106 describes Israel's often erratic response to God and God's immense patience with his people. By meditating on God's response to Israel, we can gain valuable insight as to what long-suffering truly means. a) Based on Psalm 106 attached, Identify three or more ways in which God's people sinned against him and tested his love and patience.

* They defied God at the Red Sea after he had freed them from Egypt’s power. * Craving meat they tempted God in the desert – no patience. * They challenged Moses authority – just as they did to all God’s prophets. * Worshiped a calf at Horeb. They forgot God and only Moses interceded to save them. * Despised the promised land and complained against God and had to wander in the desert for 40 years. * Worshipped Baal and ate food sacrificed to the dead – they suffered a plague. * Meribah they angered God and Moses was banished from entering the promised land. * Instead of destroying the pagan peoples as directed, they mingled with them and served their Gods.

(b) Although Israel provoked God's , how did God show long- suffering toward Israel?

God continued to punish those who caused the evil but to save his people many . The chosen people kept sinning by rebelling and scheming and suffered by their own guilt. God always heard their wailing and remembered his covenant and relented in his abundant mercy.

1. God fed the people (with manna) and led them to the Promised Land and, at Moses intervention, forgave their sins. 2. God showed mercy on the people of Ninevah, sending them Jonah to give them the opportunity to repent. 3. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to teach us how to live in love for one another and to redeem us.

(c) Share a situation in which God showed his patience with you.

We all have a journey of rebellion against Christ’s teachings and his commandments. We fake it and go through the religious motions while we spend most of our time doing it our way. We exhibit an outward but not an inward conversion and transformation. Our sins are numerous and even when we fail to repent and seek forgiveness, God continues to be merciful and pursue us.

Suffering Patiently Makes Us More like Jesus 2. Long-suffering involves how we respond to misbehavior and mistreatment that normally would warrant frustration, anger, or retribution. Reflect on 1 Peter 3:13-18 attached , and then answer the following questions.

(a) According to these verses, how should we react when we are unfairly attacked?

We should react with rightousness or right behaviour. We should live a life filled with and do it with gentleness and reverence always keeping a clear conscience. It is better to suffer for doing Good rather than for doing evil.

We should react with patience and meekness. A good practice would be to try to see Christ in that other person, no matter the circumstance.

(b) Why do you think Christ's sufferings are highlighted here (verse 18)? Christ is always the perfect example. If God who is righteousness can suffer for we who are unrighteous, in order to save us from our sin, then we need to put to death our sins of the flesh so the Holy Spirit can lead us to eternal life. Christ bore our sufferings to save us. We must bear our brothers suffering for our soul and theirs. We do acts of love that bring us the joy of Christ being in us. Christ being in us brings us his peace, a peace that allows us to bear our crosses and help others carry their own crosses.

Christ is the ultimate example for us of forbearance. Although he was completely innocent, he was persecuted, publicly, for love of us. It is this example that we must follow. He willingly and quietly endured ridicule, contempt, harassment and abuse.

(c) Why should we desire to have the fruit of long-suffering? Long suffering or patience helps to bring peace to our souls. (My peace be with you, My peace I give you.) Peace in our souls helps us bring peace to other souls. Peace depends on our humble forbearance of the behaviors/sinfulness of others rather than the absence of adversity.

At a practical level, it prevents us from raising or increasing hostilities when confronted with situations that hurt, embarrass or humiliate us.

(d) Where in your life do you most often have occasion to be long- suffering?

Many behaviors can be irritating but not sinful. Christ was meek but not mild. We need to be long suffering when others such as our spouses point out our shortcomings and perhaps even our sinfulness.

Typically, as men, we’re challenged in the work environment. The world tells us to react in a “manly” fashion, that is, respond with injustice aggressively and decisively in order to protect our image and try to silence future attacks.

In the married vocation, we are also challenged by our spouses and our children, who may hold different values than us or may have different priorities at any given time. Children, in particular, as they grow, may challenge our notions of faith and morals.