Food Allergy Bullying How to protect your child from harassment

or little Thomas, second grade should have been the year of epinephrine auto-injector and has since kindergarten. They learning about dinosaurs, outer space and multiplication. took his lunch bag from him, even though that’s the only food FInstead, second grade quickly turned into a year of horrors. he can eat.” Two boys bullied the happy, blonde boy who loves baseball, In March, an intolerable situation turned even more dangerous. swimming and football—repeatedly kicking him, punching him One of the bullies took peanut butter and smeared it on Thomas’ and calling him names. The teacher was on medical leave for the neck in the lunchroom, thinking it was funny. Knowing that one entire year, so a series of long-term subs came in and out of his bite of peanut butter could kill him, Thomas sprang into action. Photo Photo © BananaStock/Thinkstock Virginia classroom. Garrow recalls: “He said, ‘Mommy, Mommy, I’m so proud of A few months into the year, any sense of classroom control myself. I ran to the bathroom and washed my neck off with was long gone, as was any adherence to Thomas’ Individualized soap and water with a paper towel, so I didn’t actually touch it. Healthcare Plan (IHP) set up because of his multiple food aller- Then I washed my hands with soap and water, so I didn’t have gies to peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, wheat and milk. His mother, anything on my hands.’ Eleanor Garrow, vice president of education and outreach at the “I said, ‘Honey, I’m so proud of you, but you should never have Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network (FAAN), asked for her son to had to do that,’” Garrow says. “Why did my son go to the bath- be transferred to another class but she was consistently denied. room alone? Why wasn’t he monitored? What if something had The bullying got worse. happened to him, where he accidentally swiped his lips, ingested “They would hit him and call him names,” Garrow says. “They some peanut butter and then developed anaphylaxis?” also bullied him because of his food allergies, where they chased him on the playground with pebble rocks and said they were Risks of Bullying peanuts and were going to smear them all over his face. They About 35 percent of children over age 5 with food allergies have took his medicine bag from him, because he carries his own been bullied, teased or harassed, according to a 2010 study

40 www.LivingWithout.com December/January 2013 By eve becker

published in the Annals of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology, the him to another classroom. But it was too little too late for Gar- first study to assess food allergy bullying. row, who didn’t feel her son would be safe in the school. So she Compare that percentage to the National Institute of Child placed Thomas in a private school for the remainder of the year. Health and Human Development’s 2001 study that found that But as a single mother with two kids, Garrow knew she couldn’t 17 percent of kids in grades 6 through 10 were bullied. In the continue to afford the private school tuition. For third grade, she 2010 study, the rate of food-allergy bullying was an astonishing asked that her son to be transferred to another public school in 50 percent for that same age group, says study co-author Scott the same district. H. Sicherer, MD, professor of pediatrics and a researcher at the According to the U.S. Department of Education, schools must Jaffe Food Allergy Institute at Mount Sinai in New York. Sicherer offer students with disabilities, including those with life-threat- is author of Understanding and Managing Your Child’s Food Aller- ening food allergies, a “free appropriate public education.” If the gies (Johns Hopkins Press). school district can’t provide such a program and the student is Most of the bullying in the 2010 study was verbal but kids also placed in a private school, the district has financial responsibility. reported physical acts, such as having As a FAAN vice president, Garrow the allergen thrown or waved at them understood her rights. She told the or having their food intentionally con- superintendent: “I know I can still press taminated with the allergen. The bul- About 35“ percent charges against the boy who did this to lying took place mainly at school and my son and I know I can make the district by classmates. But 21 percent of the of children over age 5 responsible for paying my son’s tuition at time, teachers or school staff were per- a private school, because his rights were petrators. For example, Sicherer says, with food allergies have violated in one of your schools. I want my a child might be singled out when the son transferred to another school and I teacher says, “We’re going to have a been bullied, teased want to know what you’re going to do birthday party today but we’re not to make this happen.” going to have any cake because Johnny or harassed.” The transfer was signed, sealed and has food allergies.” delivered the next day. “It’s sad that you Sicherer was inspired to conduct have to go that route, when you feel you the study after seeing many of his patients express sadness have to threaten people in order to make a change,” says Garrow, about being teased and harassed because of their food allergies. who kept meticulous documentation with names and dates of Children who are different from their peers are often targeted. every bullying incident and of the school’s noncompliance with A food allergy can be a stigmatizing factor that marks a child as Thomas’ IHP. She recorded every time she was called by the school different and exposes him or her to bullying. and every time she had to go into the school office. “Not being able to do exactly the same things as the other Garrow now has a 504 Plan for Thomas, as well as FAAN’s children when it comes to mealtime makes the child with food Food Allergy Action Plan. “To stay educated and on top of it and allergies different. They are also at a disadvantage because to keep advocating for your child’s rights is the way to go. You they can’t do something the other children can do, so there’s have to keep doing it until it’s right,” she says. an imbalance of power,” Sicherer says. “These are all set-ups As Thomas started third grade, the emotional effects of the for bullying.” bullying in second grade continued to afflict him. His grades declined. He was combative and inattentive. He acted out in Know Your Rights school toward his teacher and at home toward his mother and In Thomas’ situation, the bullying was fed by an unstable school sister. Then in October, he broke down while driving in the car environment. Then to make matters worse for Thomas, Garrow with his mother. says, the school bungled the emergency. The principal, assistant “He had a meltdown and said, ‘I just want to kill myself. I just principal and school nurse were not on campus at the time of want to die because of my food allergies.’ I stopped immediately the incident; the clinic aide was at lunch; the office staff couldn’t in the middle of the road and said, ‘What did you just say?’ He find Thomas’ emergency action plan because they had misfiled was crying and saying, ‘You don’t have to worry about taking it; they didn’t immediately administer epinephrine and instead one wrong bite and it killing you. Someone tried to hurt me last waited for Garrow, who happened to be working from home that year and they knew it could kill me. And I’m only in third grade, day, to arrive at the school clinic. Mommy. I’m only 8 years old,’” Garrow says. After some more missteps, the school told Garrow that they Over the next three months, Thomas twice more repeated would comply with Thomas’ IHP and that they would move that he wanted to hurt himself, that he wanted to die.

December/January 2013 LIVING WITHOUT 41 Evaluations with a psychologist and Know Your Rights psychiatrist determined Thomas had Don’t allow food allergy bullying to intimidate your child—or you. attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ■ Protect your student by filing a 504 ■ Discuss bullying with your child’s (ADHD), along with depression and anxi- Plan with your school. Food allergies allergist. If needed, ask the allergist ety that stemmed from the bullying he are considered a disability under to write a letter to the school, stating endured in second grade. Section 504 of the Americans with the child’s health is in jeopardy and “No child should ever have to go through Disabilities Act, because food aller- asking that the child be transferred gies affect the major life activities of to another school. bullying. No matter what, it’s unaccept- eating, breathing and digestion. able. And to be bullied with something ■ Write to the school board superin- that can kill you, it’s even worse,” Gar- ■ Find out the school’s bullying pre- tendent or the school board attorney. row says. “When you see your child going vention policy and how it’s being Include documentation of bullying, implemented. the school’s response and, if appro- through this, you wish you could take all priate, the school’s non-compliance their pain away and make everything ■ Discuss the bullying with appropriate with your child’s 504 Plan. better. Then to think that they’re having school administrators (the principal, thoughts of hurting themselves and not guidance counselor, psychologist, ■ C heck out the Food Allergy & Ana- case manager). phylaxis Network (foodallergy.org) wanting to be here—it’s a total heartbreak and its booklet, Students With Food I can’t even explain.” ■ Keep documentation of every bul- Allergies: The Laws. lying incident, including dates and Warning Signs details. In addition, keep notes every ■ Ensure your child has access to an time you talk to the school about the epinephrine auto-injector at all Children don’t always tell their parents bullying, the school’s response and times, in case of emergencies. All about bullying but the signs are usually the school’s compliance (or non-com- states except New York protect stu- there. A child can appear sad, upset, with- pliance) with the procedures spelled dents’ rights to carry and self-admin- drawn or anxious, have trouble sleeping out in your child’s 504 Plan. ister anaphylaxis medications. or say that he or she doesn’t want to go to school. Other indications may be chang- es in the child’s behavior, stomachaches, food allergy bullying alongside his wife, nightmares, lower grades, outbursts and “ Dana Wallace, MD, associate clinical pro- social isolation. Kids who are bullied Nearly one-third of fessor at Nova Southeastern University because of food allergies might also have and past president of the American Col- changes in their eating habits, come home parents are unaware lege of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology with an untouched lunch box, exhibit (ACAAI). unexplained weight loss or display other of the allergy-related “When people are threatened with dramatic changes in eating behaviors. something that they fear—whether it’s a In March, Sicherer presented prelimi- bullying their child fist in their face or peanut butter smeared nary findings of an unpublished study in on their head or a fish thrown into their which parents and children were inter- is enduring.” locker—they’re going to be frightened. viewed separately about food allergy And justifiably so. Bullying is intimidating bullying. Results showed that nearly and it causes tremendous psychological one-third (32 percent) of parents were allergy are vulnerable to bullying, adults problems for the kids,” Cash says. unaware of the allergy-related bully- should be aware of the potential danger ing. For children who reported being and bring up the topic with the kids. Take Action bullied more than once a month, nearly Food allergy bullying can present emo- It’s important for adults to be respon- two-thirds (64 percent) of parents were tional danger, just like any other form of sive to a child who reports bullying and unaware of the problem. bullying. But if it involves ingestion of the to reassure them that you will get them “Many children with food allergies have food to which the child is allergic, it can help, Cash says. Find out the school’s bul- reported bullying but the parents often be life-threatening, says Ralph E. (Gene) lying prevention policy and how it’s being don’t know about it,” says Sicherer, who Cash, Ph.D., nationally certified school implemented. But parents should not con- adds that parents, teachers, camp admin- psychologist and professor of psychology front the bully, tell the child to confront istrators and allergists should all have at Nova Southeastern University in Fort the bully or encourage retaliation, because a “high index of suspicion” about food Lauderdale, Florida. it can make matters worse. allergy bullying. Since children with food Cash often speaks about the risks of “The parents should say to their child,

42 www.LivingWithout.com December/January 2013 More than a Cooking SChool. it’S a Way of life.

‘I’m glad you told me. You did the right Join Our Unique thing. Now let’s talk about what’s the right thing to do together. Let’s formulate a plan Chef’s Training together so we can deal with this.’ And by Program doing so, you teach your child problem- The leader in health supportive solving skills,” Cash says. (mostly vegetarian) cooking and “Some of the strategies that one might theory. We offer a range of programs think would work— like, tell your teach- for a career in the natural foods industry er—might not be effective, particularly or simply enriching your lifestyle. if the teacher is the one who’s doing or • Lifetime Placement Assistance supporting the bullying. So the child and • Student Loan available if qualified the parent need to talk about what’s likely • Accredited by ACCET to be successful. Can we go to the school Call for a brochure about our full principal? Can we go to the school guid- and part-time programs today. ance counselor? Can we go to the school psychologist? If that isn’t likely to work, 212.627.COOK (2665) can we involve our allergist in going to the school or at least communicating with the school in some way?” If the situation worsens, Cash says, par- ents can ask the child’s allergist to write a letter to the school saying the child’s NaturalGourmetInstitute.com • 48 West 21st Street, 2nd Floor, NY, NY 10010 health is in jeopardy and asking for the Recreational Classes through Natural Gourmet Institute for Food & Health child to be transferred to another school. Or parents can write to the school board attorney, as there are legal precedents of parents suing schools that don’t take an active and positive role in preventing bullying. HOLIDAY BAKE-OFF November 26th – December 21st Allergists are so busy with managing the child’s food allergy, they usually don’t inquire about bullying, Wallace says. “We may not be asking enough at the right time. In a short office visit, there’s so much to talk about, it may get pushed to the end of the list.” At the root of bullying behavior is domestic violence, Cash says. “If we could eliminate domestic violence, I’m convinced that it would eliminate most of the bullying,” he says. “When kids are victimized, particularly if they’re victim- ized at home by people they trust or are supposed to be able to trust, they tend to ©2012 GFA Brands, Inc. ©2012 GFA bifurcate. Some become chronic victims and develop a victim mentality. Others identify with the aggressor and become bullies themselves. The ones who are bul- Submit your vegan dessert recipes this Holiday lied then bully those who are lower on the season for the chance to win a plant-based hierarchy, so to speak. It’s the kick-the-dog weekend getaway, and more! syndrome.” For details visit MadeJustRight.com.

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2455_BRM_LivWithOut_DecJan_FP_VT_4C.indd 1 9/27/12 11:35 AM Providing Comfort big, clunky thing and everybody knows Kids who are bullied need to feel support you have food allergies. A lot of kids don’t from their families, says Kenton Duty, who want to carry it, so they’ll throw it in their stars in the Disney Channel series, “Shake locker or they just won’t take it to school It Up!” and who has been active in anti- because they don’t want people seeing bullying campaigns. that visual reminder of their food aller- Gluten “What they need is some comfort. They gies. But if it’s in their locker or they don’t need someone they can talk to, who can bring it because they don’t want to get at least tell them, ‘You’re doing a good bullied or teased about it—if they’re in Free Oats job putting up with it and we’re going to anaphylactic shock, it’s big trouble.” stop this.’ Knowing someone cares about Duty is tall now but for many years, he dedicated you is huge.” was one of the shortest kids in his class But not all kids have supportive adults and he’d get bullied because of it. to your in their lives. “What helped me was I had family and “There are a lot of problems with how friends who backed me up. My friends good health bullying is dealt with in general. A lot of always stood by me,” he says. people are like, ‘Kids will be kids. It hap- He’s also been teased because of his pens,’” Duty says. “Well, it doesn’t have to food allergies, with kids waving chocolate happen. Adults can monitor it and make treats in his face. it safe for these kids.” “Yeah, I’ve been through that. Every- Duty, 17, is allergic to chocolate and body with food allergies goes through wheat. As a celebrity ambassador to it,” he says. “There are people who’ll take FAAN, he’s talked to students at FAAN advantage of you to try to make them- summits, giving advice on how to speak selves feel better.” up about bullying, especially if you have Many people just don’t understand the severity of food allergies, says Duty’s food allergies. MADE IN THE U.S.A. Kids with food allergies can feel vulner- father, Jeff Duty. able because they have to carry or wear “If there are chocolate cupcakes, they’ll bulky allergy medications like epineph- put one under his nose and say, ‘You can’t 75¢ OFF rine auto-injectors. have it.’ It happens more times than All Gluten Free I would’ve guessed—even at his age,” “If you carry your EpiPen on you, it’s this Oat Products bobsredmill.com

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Photo by Jackson Wong, Photo Wong, by Jackson EXPIRES 6/30/2013 Kenton Duty (left), star of Disney Channel’s “Shake It Up!”, with actors Tharon Trujillo (middle) and Nick Dean (right) at a recent “My Life My Power” anti-bullying campaign event in Los Angeles.

December/January 2013 LIVING WITHOUT 45

Untitled-1 1 9/27/12 11:37 AM Jeff Duty says about his son’s experi- Bullying Stats ences. “The parents don’t get it and the A Sad Reality ■ 80 percent of the episodes were kids don’t get it. They think they’re being In a 2010 survey of 353 parents and perpetrated by classmates. caregivers of food-allergic children con- funny. I’ve tried talking to the parents, ducted at regional FAAN conferences, ■ 21 percent of the episodes were even the kids, and some don’t think any- 24 percent of all respondents reported perpetrated by teachers or other thing is wrong. If we can’t educate them, that the food-allergic individual had school staff. we just have to remove ourselves from been bullied, teased or harassed because of food allergies. For those ■ 65 percent described verbal abuse, that particular situation and know that age 5 and older, 35 percent had been such as teasing or taunting. it’s nothing personal. It’s just the way affected. some people are. Don’t stick around to Of those who reported being bullied, ■ 57 percent described physical events, let them continue doing it.” teased or harassed: such as having the allergen thrown or waved at them. ■ 86 percent reported multiple Positive Signs episodes. Source: “Bullying Among Pediatric Eleanor Garrow didn’t stick around Patients with Food Allergy,” Annals of Virginia. After Thomas’ bullying in second ■ 82 percent of the episodes occurred Allergy, Asthma & Immunology, Septem- grade and depression aftermath in the at school. ber 2010. beginning of third grade, Garrow and her two children moved back to Illinois, Now in fourth grade at his new including his bus driver, has been trained where she grew up and where her family school, Thomas is doing well, his mother to administer epinephrine. His grades lives. Divorced, she realized that Thomas reports. The new school has gone above have come back up. He’d been getting needed his father during this unsettling and beyond in accommodating him, she Cs and Ds but now is back to As and Bs. time. She asked to be able to work for says. Everyone who comes into contact Thomas is no longer ashamed to say FAAN remotely from Illinois. with Thomas throughout the school day, he has food allergies. He always carries his life-saving medications—epineph- rine auto injectors, antihistamines and his asthma inhaler—in his backpack. Click Here for the BEST Glutenen FFreer At his new school, kids kept asking him why he carries his backpack everywhere. Flour for all your holiday recipes! So he asked his mom to do a presenta- tion about food allergies, not just to his class but to the whole school. Garrow is thrilled that he’s no longer embarrassed TOM SAWYER and anxious about his food allergies. “I’m hopeful and optimistic,” she says. The new Gluten-Free Flour... Gold Standard “We still have a long way to go but I’ve in Gluten-Free √ Click here for our FREE Holiday definitely seen improvement. There’s still cooking. Cookbook  lled with delicious some anger but it’s nowhere near as bad gluten-free holiday recipes. as it was when we were in Virginia.” √ Cup-for-cup replacement for “For almost a year and a half, he was regular wheat  our. No more not the son I knew, the boy who was so full of life, laughing, giggling, eyes spar- special recipes needed! kling all the time, compassionate and √ Priced right. Best prices available caring about everyone around him. We on website. really lost him. And it was hard, so hard,” √ Performance blended. No more Garrow says. “Now we’re finally getting mixing of diff erent  ours needed. him back—and I’m so grateful.” LW One bag does it all!

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