Clubs of London

L O NDON

PRI N T ED B Y H E NRY DI G G ENS L E I S E R S RE E T . , CE T T ‘ CLU BS O F L O N D O N ;

A N E C D O T E S O F T H E I R M E M B E R S ,

SK E TCH E S OF H E C A RA CT R ,

A ND

CONVER SA T IO S N .

I N T W O V O L U M E S.

I . VOL . I

L OND ON

HE NRY COLBURN N N STRE ET . , E W BURLINGTO

18928 .

C L U B S O F L O N D O N.

- THE BEEF STEA K CLUB.

WH O has - n ot h eard of the Sublime Society of

- Of Club Britis h h eart the Beef Steaks this , in ,

character, and humour , a true conservatory of

our d- I met national goo nature and mirth , never

with an authen tic account . Some antiquarians

have confounded its ancient history with . the

- e Beef Steaks Club mention d in the Spectator ,

a o founded, it was s id , by Tom Estc urt , the player,

and of which Peg Wofﬁngton was th e president;

let - s Nor it be mistaken , as it ometimes is , for the B 2 4 THE CLU B S OF LO N DO N .

- pseudo club of modern origin , that has assumed

- its name . The real Beef Steaks has nothing

new about it . It has enjoyed , through a long

of t i chain radition , a corporate l fe , that never

dies . The Sublime Society has its pedigree, its

- f 1 35 e . o 7 ancestry , its title d eds The gridiron , standing out in proud relief from the ceiling of

Cla its refectory , is , to this fraternity , what the

ren cieux - Ed , the rouge dragons of Collins and

mon ds on of our , are to the heraldic pride aristo

on cracy . It is the real gridiron , which its ﬁrst

s teak was broiled . That eloquent emblem is

engraved on the hearts and on the buttons of

r o eve y member, with the no less eloquent mott

BE E F LIBE R Y. that encircles it, AND T As every thing in this Society breathes a spirit

of antiquity , so every thing promises long dura

in tion . Its founders , the provident spirit of wise

al legislators, infused into it a vit ity that has pre

served it through the giddy revolutions of tas te ,

an d l of the petu ant caprices fashion . Though

c of al omposed ﬂeeting materi s, its capital fund of

‘ , , al , humour wit and soci glee has been locked up ,

like property in mortmain . Fashions have pass ed - 5 THE B E E F STE AK C LUB .

‘ ' ' a wa n ot th e of e - y, but fashion the Be f Steaks ; " which remains unsoiled and unchanged iii the glossy freshness of its primaeval character .

I bes eech Do not, you . profane this venerable

b of institution , y imagining a collection greasy

' - S a o o n citizens devouring beef te ks , wh m c mmo

r e n l voracity d aws tog ther , and commo satiety wil

' ’

. O th e of disperse u tbat despicable tenure , ﬂies

’ ‘ th e s h ambles Be - would be a ef Steak Club . But

w s the princes , the nobles , the it of the land ,

an d seated at a plenteous . but frugal board , in

’ ’ ’ broth erh ood kee in al in - equal , p g ive the old, bred

' good - nature of the better classes of the E nglish

’ ‘ ‘ “ ~ d r people . Beef is, indee , the g osser ligament of

“ o a the union , its utward and t ngible sign . But

“ ‘ i l a an ethereal sp rit , an inte lectu l sympathy is there , to draw and cement kindred hearts to each

‘ ’ th e th e un fet other . It is carnival of soul ; its

ed ! r s a ter commerce , not in verbose to tuou m zes of t d dis quisition , but in all sor s of gla nesses , ex

' ' ‘ tracted from al l sorts of things ; a voyage of the

’ w tO spirits bound no where , ith liberty touch every where , and bringing home from every point

‘ ‘ a o of of the compass , an unperish ble carg inno S 6 THE CLU B or LO N DON . cuous - — satire , and heart stirring hilarities undis

’ ed or t urb by one moment s spleen , or acerbity ,

- wounded self love . It is

The mirth w hich after no rcpentin gr draw s ; the mirth which goes home with you to your

a pillow, st rtles your wife in the watches of the

n ou night, with your involu tary laugh , as y are m musing over the whi and fancy of the evening , and even endangers your cup of tea the next morning by the agitation of your ﬁbres . He who has passed a good day at the Beef

a in Ste ks , and has not felt this sensation , may ” a for deed go in the cat logue a man ; but, l i I without ca ling for any more ev dence , would

' - pronounce him anti social in his composition .

P old oor Johnson , many years the father of the

Society, was so frequently visited with these re min i en s c ces . e , that Mrs Johnson b gan to throw

for a had ré out hints a separate couch , till h bit con ciled her to the occas ional interruptions of

. fun her slumbers In short , the of Ben J on

’

, M is son s Club at the ermaid, in Cornhill , as it b recorded y Beaumont, in his epistle to honest THE BE EF-STEA K ow n: 7

Ben; seems n ot to have surpas sed that of the

- Beef Steaks in degree and quality .

Wh at things h ave w es een D one at th e Mermaid! h eard w ords that h ave been

S o n im e an d s o u o f s ubtl e ﬂam bl f ll e, i A s if th at e very one fromw h ence they came

H d meant to ut his w o e w it in a es a p h l j t, A nd h ad res olved to live a fool the res t

O f his d life t en e e t e e h a e n t ow n ull ; h , wh r h r th b e hr Wit abl e en oug h to j us tify th e tow n For three days p as t ; w it that might w arrant b e For the w i k l i h ole c ty to tal foo s hly .

Nor is the history of the Beef- Steaks less re

a i t mark ble than ts spirit and charac er . Henry Rich w as the fo under. A word or two of this

' s ame Rich. He had the glory of ﬁrst intro ducin e our s an d l e the g Harl quin on tage , he p ay d

s s m m n l n part under the a u ed na e of Lu . A l thea trical tradition bear s tes timony to his unequalled

s of i n ; ord power gest culatio He was , in one w ,

ni his c a ﬁ shed mime . As genius lay hieﬂy in

ime d his to pantom , he evoted time the perfecting

r a t the l e that branch of the d ma, ﬁrs at ittl theatre

’ in e o e Lincoln s Inn , aft rwards at C v nt Garden,

' ' h ' ch a of w hic he became the manager . In the

ract r - of rl a nd e ur s are e Ha equin , his signs g st e S 8 TH E CLU B or LON DON .

ar said to have been as el oquent as words . G

’ rick , who attempted, after Rich s death , the Irish

s ea kin u al experiment of a p g pantomime , th s ludes to Rich in a prologue

W en Lun a eared it m tc es s art and w im h pp , w h a hl h ,

H v im e g a e th e p ow er of s peech to every l b . T o mas k ed an d m te con e ed h is t int n h ugh u , v y rue e t, A nd told in frolic ges tures w h at h e mean t :

But n ow the mot e co t and s w o d of w ood l y a , r , e k em nde s ood Requir a tongu e to ma e th u r t .

w as 1 35 h R in It in the year 7 , t at ich was so

' dus trious l s y employed in this , motley pecies of

amusement . But he paid particular attention to

' th e rom titude an d of p p certainty the mechanism ,

' on which the delightful vicissitude of the whole

world of pantomime main ly depends ; and to be ff s l quite assured of the e ect , he painted on a mal er s t s and c cale, in pas eboard , the cenes contrivan es af h on s in en i terwards ex ibited the tage . His g

' ous in Odel s thus b ecame a microcosm of those pleasing spectacles that gave our forefathers that

- i i de en e honest John Bull l ke del ght , which the g ratepantomimes of the modern theatre cannot m ad inister . But pantomime then h ad a truer

’ of ta l relish its I lian origin ; and, under Rich s e - TH E BE E F STE AK CLUB . 9

is lation e r . g , very thing was seve ely regulated

‘ n or s o e to The clow , Gracio , was not permitt d do him s more than was set down for . Gratuitou

s u erﬂuOus k grins , p tumbles , extempore icks were

- subject to green room penalties . Even Harle quin was restricted from those supplementary

a c pers , those appoggiaturas of the feet , which he is too prone to indulg e. The poetry of the heels

’

. R strictly regulated Hence , in ich s time , the perfection of those farces which are said to m l have breathed a festive at osphere al around . How I envy the generation who saw those jubilees of fun That generation has, indeed, long mouldered in the grave ; but fancy cannot help picturing the infantine and chubby faces Of our

an d ancestors , mantling with joy and merriment ,

m ll - ki r my young asters in fu drest suits , sha ng thei

s a sides in the general diapa on of laugh , th t ran

w - no through the hole play house , to the small

' ‘ eo ard of i mnatural ru j p y the load of pe ke , which

of i the tyranny fash on inﬂicted on the heads . d Whilst Rich was thus employe , his atelier ,

all in l a sm room the theatre , was a most as much frequented as Canova’s or Thorwaldsen ’s 10 THE CLU BS OF

’ v on e t o in our days . E ery seemed anxious be \

e him . admitt d, to see at his interesting labours Amongst these ”were several men of rank and

’ ' wit ; for Rich s colloquial oddities were much

e relished . The celebrated Lord P terborough.

n ar then somewhat adva ced in years , Hog th , Sir

& & of . c . c . James Thornhill , were the number

At these visits , he never intermitted his labours ,

on e nor his strain of facetious remark . Upon

’ e occasion , accid nt having detained the Earl s

’ sua - coach later than u l , he found Rich s chit chat so

a agreeable, th t he was quite unconscious that it was tw o in the afternoon when he observed the man of pantomime spreading a cloth , then coax

re ing his ﬁre into a clear culinary ﬂame, and p ceedin g with great gravity to cook h is ow n beef:

‘ steak on his own gridiron . The ste ak sen t up a

m rd u not most inviting incense, and y Lo co ld

’ s n ' it A resist Rich invitatio , to partake of . further supply was sent for and a bottle or tw o of excellent wine from a neighbouring tavern , prolonged their discourse to a late hour . But so delighted was the old peer with his entertain

ment, that, on going away , he proposed renewing TH E B EE -STE A F K CLUB . 1 1 it at the same place and hour on the Saturday fol n lowing . He was punctual to his e gagement, “ w h im r or s and brought ith th ee four friend , men ”

b . of wit and pleasure a out town , as Mr Bayes

' would call them : and so truly fes tive was the

' ’ e meeting, that it was propos d that a Saturday s

u re club sho ld be held there , whilst the town mained fullf

t law A sump uary , even at this early period of e the Society , restricted the bill of far to beef

ak . ste s , and the beverage to port wine and punch

T hus the corner - stone of the Sublime Society

O u was laid . But the riginal gridiron pon which

. Rich had broiled his solitary steak,bein g in s ufﬁ cient ina short time for the supernumerary wor

th e t and r shippers in emple of Beef Libe ty , the relic was enshrined as on e of the tutelary and l s the . F u hou ehold divinities of C ub ort nately, it escaped the ﬁre which consumed Covent Garden

s en ir a few year since , and now presents itself, c l m c ed with its otto , and suspended from the

ve e e ceiling to e ry y , which can spare a wandering

“ the b e - tea glance from e f s k smoking before it .

thereli zo loci Nor is there any doubt that g , the 12 TH E CLU BS or LO N DO N .

‘ been amon s t e sanctity of place , has g the inﬂu nces that have preserv ed the Club to so reverend an

' ’ a U o this n s e . n g p principle , its fou der seem to

“ c v have alculated, when they resol ed that it should be held for ever in a theatre , the invariable tenure

n e on which , unless in cases of inevitable ec ssity , d it has ever subsiste .

l al In that ﬁre , a as perished the origin archives n of the Society . The lovers of wit and pleasa try have much to deplore in that loss , inasmuch as n ot only the names Of many of the early members

' are irretrievably gone, but what is more to be ff regretted, some of their happiest e usions for it was then customary to register in the weekly

of l records , any thing striking excel ence that had

ff in been hit o the cours e of the evening .

h - This , owever , is certain , that the Beef Steaks ,

’ a n h our h as from its found tion to the prese t , been

native to famous w its O r h os p itable

s or that as guest members , persons distinguished

a for rank, and social and convivi l powers , have , through successive generations , been seated at its

v ' festi e board . Bubb Doddington , Aaron Hill,

S 14 TH E CLUB O F LON DON .

Lord Sandwich , Wilkes , Bonnell Thornton ,

Tickell Arthur Murphy, Churchill , and , the

of i of . author the l veliest hits , Anticipation

ow n Descending nearer our times , we ﬁnd there

* n the present King; when Pri ce of Wales, the

of late Duke Norfolk, Charles Morris , and others ,

delecta D ana um an d of the , the pride ﬂower

n modern Londo .

’ Nor is the Society s brightness yet obscured .

I shall presently attempt a faint commemorati on of a few of the luminaries that still shine at its

' board . But is it not a proud victory over time , that amid the dissolutions of the greatest con

e i of f derations , and the crumbling ru n states

On S da the 14th of Ma the P in ce of W es atur y, y, r al w i e of h B f- t ak l His as admtted a memb r t e ee S e C ub f Royal Highnes s h aving s ig n iﬁed his w is h of b elonging to t at Societ an d t r n ot ein c nc it w as h y, he e b g a va a y, p ropos ed to mak e him an hon orary member ; but th at

ein dec in d b His Ro a Hi n s s it w as a eed to b g l e y y l gh e , gr inc e s e the n m e om tw en t - fou to tw en - fiv e r a u b r fr y r ty , in con s equence of which His Royal Highn es s w as unan i mous l ected The B f- k y el . ee Stea Cl ub h as b een ins ti tuted s fift ea s and cons is ts of s ome of th e mos ju t y y r , t — clas s ical an d s prig htly wits in the kingdom See A nn ual Re is ter V X V 5 ol . X II g , _ . for 178 . - 15 THE BE E F STE AK CLUB . and ” h e kingdoms . t is che rful fraternity has so long defied the common destr"oyer of man and Bu r his institutions t. look at their cha ter, — and cease to admire It is BE E F AND LIBE RTY .

The spirit of the Club is its ow n most emph ati

adven ti cally . Nothing foreign , borrowed , or tious . It is obvious , that no antecedent rule or regulation could have formed such a Club . Good

al a - humour , mirth , mutu forbe rance , Open hearted

u comm nication , the postponement of every sel

ﬁs h fee ling to the general hilarity and happiness ;

these can be produced by n o r ule or regulation .

- t It should seem that the spirit of the Beef S eaks ,

of s like that the Engli h constitution , resides in

s i an d no e pec al maxim , but informs animates — the whole system at once its parent and result

ro c . producing, and rep du ed

' e ect f Yet, whether this happy ﬂ has ﬂowed rom

or accident design , or the felicitous combination

of l both , it is a s oi and climate in whic h ill

humour cannot vegetate . Place a man there

c i e e e a cursed w th a p evish temp r, som spoiled

s on of or fortune , of his mother ; in that Society,

take my word for it, he will be s Ooh an altered 16 THE CLUBs OF LON DON .

or being , he will assume the virtue he has not

a discipline which , not unfrequently, makes a

ff . man what he a ects to be In this respect , it has

’ worked miracles far beyond Prince Hoh en loe s converting morose cynics into easy and placid companions ; froward disputants into tranquil

i t listeners . Not that is often necessary to put this sal utary process to the test ; for every can didate must undergo a previous inquisition as to

e his temper and good s nse, which , in fact , are s n on imous y ; and, for this purpose , he must attend

' tw ice or~ e or , thric , oftener , if need be , when his patience in sustaining , and his smartness in

- of c repelling, the good natured satire the pla e , are minutely noted . In spite , however , of this

r a o de l , a waspish blockhead will now and then

w ! creep in . But woe to him hen he is there The fabled torments of poetry are aj oke to what

' ’ he has to go through . Ixion s wheel is only a

’ cockney s velocipede : the stone of Sisyphus a

a mere g me of bowls in the comparison . He

or n must either withdraw altogether , , i volving himself within the integument of his natural dul ness , sit and listen in silence . - -1 THE B E E F STEA K C LU B . 7

’ r ’ ’ Lo d Sandwich s , Wilkes s , Churchill s , are generally quoted as the golden period of the

to me r Society . I am Old enough re mber Arthu

m r e Murphy, and fro him I have hea d many anc

’ of for d on dotes it at that time , he dwelt fon ly

’ the pleasan t nights he had passed at the Beef

ak . Ste s It must be remembered , that convivial societies then were less restrained in particular

of points than at present . Coarseness expression

' w as n o to e objection a witty saying , provid d it w as It n e of witty . was at o these Saturnalia that

’ Lord Sandwich received Wilkes s answer to the

e “ ind cent alternati ve he had put to him . That e n — d pe ds, replied Wilkes , upon this whether

’ I embrace your lordship s principles or your mis ” n w i a tress . We cannot o deta l the whole n ec

t n do e it is , however , so well know , that a slight i l l . n v allusion wil recall it Church l was a co vi ial , h but a very intemperate companion . T ere was a short day - light interval betwixt the ﬂatness Of

of os ir his unexcited spirits , and the confusion p tive inebriety : in that short interval Charles di Churchill was ra ant . Every thing he said

h ' told ; it it between w in d aﬁ dw ater . A perso n

VO L . 1 1 . C 18 THE CLU BS or LON DO N . of the name of Bradshaw was at that time a

- of member of the Beef Steaks . He was vain being descended from the regicide of that n ame .

on He was one day his favourite topic , boasting

’ of hi his ancestor s patriotism , when Churc ll ex ’ ! claimed, Ah , Bradshaw, don t crow The Stuarts have been amply avenged for the loss of

’ for n ot Charles s head , you have had a head in ” your whole family ever since . At another time , a gentleman happening to cough vehemently, fromthe distressing accident of something going ” s the wrong way , Churchill aid to him, If you are subject to it I will tell you how to avoid it

for . ? the future How , how inquired the

. n other Why , retur ed Charles , you have

- only to put up a direction post in your throat , and you may be sure that then every thing will

go right .

Churchill was not long a member . He owed

his introduction to Wilkes , but his irregularities

were so gross that he ceased at length to be

a welcome visitant ; and having shamefully de

‘ s erted his wife , whose conduct was irreproach

h is t ff able , recep ion after that a air was such as - THE B E E F STEAK CLUB . 19

n ot ar for induced him to resign . It is app ent " w a b e anc h t reason , but attributed the circumst e

ff at d to Lord Sandwich , and the a ront stimul e him to t h e satir e which he wrote agains t that

m n It n s noble a . bega thu

F omh is o u w ds to th e r s n da r y uth p ar p e e t y, When vices more than year s h ave made h imgrey ;

W en ioto s e ces s w it w as teful and h r u x h h ,

’ akes ife s f i l as s an d as tes eac e in s and Sh l ra l g , h h bb g ;

U n mindfttl fromw at s toc h e drew his i t h k b r h, Untain ted w ith on e deed of real worth Lot a io o din on o r at n o ice h r , h l g h u pr , Fo to fo added vice to ic lly lly , v e, 'W ou s in it eedin es s and co ed s ham r ght w h gr , urt e ” Wit t n o d n s eek or fam h grea er zeal tha g o me f e .

As Chil rchill - a poet, was much over rated .

He has now sunk to his level . He has only now and then a vigorous masculine line to atone

s of for a long serie prosaic ones . Johnson

n e always mai tain d him to be a shallow fellow .

His popularity w as never of an enviable kind

His satire administered to the bad feelings of the

w as ad os e heart , and re by th e chieﬂy who lov

c t o la d to see worth depre iated, and distinc i ns i

c 2 2 0 THE CLU B S OF LON DON .

' low. He died at Bologne , during a visit to his e friend Wilk s, then an exile , and was buried at Dover David Garrick was a great ornament of the

- H e h ad of Beef Steaks . no slight tincture vanity ,

of and was fond accusing himself, to use Lord

’

Ch es terﬁeld s of . phrase , the cardinal virtues Having remarked at the Club that he had so large

i a mass of manuscript plays submitted to his perusal , that they were constantly liable to be

mislaid, he observed , that unpleasant as it was to ’ f reject an author s piece , it was an af ront to the

’ poor devil s feelin gs if it coul d n ot be instantly found and that for this reason he made a point of ticketting and labell ing the play that was to be

. e nio r turned , that it might be forthcoming at a ’ ” : ment s n Otice. A ﬁg for your hyp ocrisy ! ex r ' claimed Mu phy , across the table . You know ,

' ou two mon th s a o Davy , y mislaid my tragedy g e o t ” n a . and I mak doub you h ve lost it Yes ,

' re lied Garrick ou un rate p but you forget, y g

. ful do a Off ou a g, th t I ered y more th n its value ,

ou a h ad tw o m c c i n for y might h ve anus ript far es . ” its stead .

2 2 THE CLUBS OF L ONDO N .

I w as thinking of my s teak in the other . The

' appearance oi their favourite soon paciﬁed the

au i u h dience, and Garr ck went thro gh the c arac

t er with min e vivacity than ever .

It is w ell known that Wilkes did not intend

h is obnoxious Es say on Woman for publication .

n n of e It came i to the ha ds Lord Halifax , th n

c a Se retary of St te , in consequence of the general

’ s e f ll t eizur o a Wilkes s papers , by vir ue of a gene

ral warrant ; and the House of Lords proceeded

s s r i again t it a a b each of priv lege , part of it being

s a al t a tiric attack upon Warbur on , Bishop of

G . lk loucester Wi es , having privately printed it

for circulation among his friends, presented a

- To copy of it to the Beef Steaks . his great sur

of a prise , however, the grossness its langu ge , and

e the unblushing blasphemy that p rvaded it, ex i c ted the disgust of every member, and it was

n . k .una imously rejected Wil es did not visit the

Club afterwards ; but, when he left the kingdom ,

he w as an made honorary member, as a compli m ent justly due to the wit , spirit, and humour

wh c had o d li d t e i h so l ng e ghte h table .

Arthur Murphy gave me Sketch es of s everal ’ - THE BE E F STE AK CLU B . 2 3 characters who ﬂourished at the Beef- Steaks about that p erl od ; some of them were most

r amusing originals . There was a Se jeant Prime ,

un l who furnished an fai ing ﬂow of merriment .

Several ludicrous adventures, which , if they did

a not actu lly happen , were at least ascribed to the

- little lawyer , were sure to ﬁnd at the Beef Steaks some waggish historian to recount them . To on e incident M urphy pledged his own veracity .

The Serjeant had arranged with another lawyer ,

al of who was so a very diminutive size , to travel together on horseback the ensuing spring circuit .

This lawyer generally wen t by the name of Frog l C Morgan , from his having so repeated y ited in an

’ argument before the King s Bench , Croke Eliza

* r beth, Croke James , Croke Cha les , that the

' u A n whole bar were conv lsed with laughter . other anecdote of him w as current in Westminster

ll . m n Ha Before he was uch k own at the bar, h n e had commenced an argument , but Lord Ma s

o is im ﬁeld, not aware f h stature, called upon h

T is o t l v h rep r er i ed in thos e three reig n s ; and h is reports are al w ays cited with the names of the reig n w en the decis ons too ace h i k pl . 2 4 THE CLU B S O F LON DON. r w as epeatedly to get up , conceiving that he M n o . t addressing the court standing y Lord ,

out ~ an d I am up , screamed Frog Morgan , I ” e have been up this ten minutes . But to my anc

: e dote Serjeant Prime , having hir d a steady

out on l animal , set the Norfo k circuit with his

for e friend Morgan and , the ﬁrst week , the hors performed his part of the contract with a gravity

i n ot unbecomin g the coif . But the stable keeper had provided th e Serjeant with a steed

’ of a d m of a cert in escription , a circu stance which Prime had n o suspicion ; and Frog

on th e Morgan , being mounted a mare , Ser

i ' ’ ean t s on e ﬁ n e s rin lOs t j charger , p g morning ,

of d c om sight his decorum , and approache his panion with a familiarity that surprised an d

the s o s alarmed two hor emen , equally unc n cious

of . the sex of their respective horses The point,

ut out of an au however, was p doubt by ass lt ,

off an d o t r which threw poor Prime , alm st e mi n ated of in the annihilation little Morgan , who had no power to dismount . Wilkes took a mali

' ' cious pleasure in relating this a dvent ure at the

- W Beef Steaks . hen the Serjeant perceived that - 2 5 THE BEE F STEA K C LU B .

was i F or Wilkes about to tell it, he excla med,

’ M r a ff ors e . o h God s sake , Alderman , le ve your

A h w rthur Murp y , hen he recounted to - me these and many other anecdotes of the Beef

“ Steaks , was residing at Hammersmith , and living ‘ upon a small income , chiefly derived from the

of C a r u proﬁts a ommission of b nk pts , and from

c o l- of the py right of his translation Tacitus . He

l a al was origina ly at the bar, but the law , je ous mistress , that will endure no rival , had forsaken him as soon as b e devoted himself to dramatic literature . H e was then Old , but his memory

' ' ul NO w as s ing arly retentive . man had a more " of th e or u ample knowledge world , abo nded more — a o agreeably in the chit chat , which kn wledge of

‘ the world supplies . He went the same circuit i with this Serjeant Pr me , and nothing , Murphy

me m i assured , could be ore d stressing than the

’ of len gth and drowsiness the little man s speeches .

h attorn ies Benc , bar , jurors , , all felt their sopo — r iﬁc eff ect even the javelin - men were observed

. to nodding A counsel , getting up reply to him , 2 6 B S or O DO THE CLU L N N .

e of b gan , Gentlemen , the long speech the ” ” Sir in learned Serjeant I beg your pardon , , terru ted p Mr . Justice Nares , you might say the

n s olilo u of lo g q y the learned Serjeant, for my brother Prime has been talking an hour to him ” self.

- At the circuit table , there is sometimes held a court for th e trial of profession al irregularities and conviction is generally followed by a ﬁne ,

or which is spent in wine f the beneﬁt of the mess .

It was resolved to try Prime for the length and drowsiness of hi s speeches ; and a somewhat serious accident furnished an apt occasion for the H i joke . An ejectment cause at un t n gford had lasted the whole day and being a matter of much

h ot expectation , the court was exceedingly and

’ crowded . I n the middle of a three hours speech ,

’ in which Prime was then addressing the jury , a

on poor lad, who had seated himself a beam that w a ent across the roof, fell f st asleep , and came tumbling down among the crowd below . He

w ru al escaped ith a few b ises , but sever persons were much hurt . This circumstance was pressed - THE BE E F STEA K CLU B . 2 7 into the aggravation of the case made out against the Serjeant, who was ﬁned three dozen of wine , which he paid with great good humour .

Arthur Mur phy considered an evening passed

- to be of at the Beef Steaks , the consummation social enjoyment . Many years afterwards , a friend introduced me to that festive board , nor was I insensible to sundry whisperings of ambi

h ow u tion , that hinted to me delightf l a thing it must be to be enrolled among its members . Min gay was the person who took me, and I think it w as 1 in the year 79 9 .

I do not recollect all who were present on

a th t day, but I remarked particularly John Kem

C obb of h ble , the India House , His Royal Hig ness

of o Hi is le the Duke Clarence , Sir J hn Cox pp y,

M u Charles orris, Ferg son of Aberdeen , and his

of G race Norfolk . This nobleman took the chair w hen the cloth was removed . It is a place of di gnity, elevated some steps above the table , and decorated with the various insignia of the Society ; amon gst which was suspended the identical small cocked - hat in which Garrick used to play the part

R . s o l Sr of anger As on as the c ock t ikes ﬁve , a 2 8 THE C LU B S or LoNDoN.

i curtain draws up , discovering the k tchen , in which the cooks are dimly seen plying their

a f of , sever l o ﬁces , through a sort grating with this appropriate motto from Macbeth inscribed over it

“ ’ ’ l r i r W E R E D E WH E N Trs D O E H E N WE RE ON , N , T T

W E LL

IT W E R E D O NE QU IC K L Y. — But the steaks themselves they were of the highest order , and I can never forget the good

re will with which they were devoured . I n this

n o on e . spect , surpassed the Duke of Norfolk He e w as tol us in illis . Eyes , hands , mouth , w re all intensely exercised n ot a faculty played the de

rt r s e e . His appetite literally grew by what it fed on or . Two three succeeding steaks , fragrant from the gridiron , rapidly vanished . In my sim

licit r p y, I thought that his labours we e over . I

' e for him rubbin was d ceived, I Observed g a clean plate with a Shalot,to prepare it for thereception of a nother .

s of A pau e ten minutes ensued , and his Grace

' rested Upon his kn ife an d fork ; but it was only a

foil n d a pause , and I th t there was a good reason

30 B S O DO THE CLU OF L N N .

re to expatiate , A member , who sate next me ,

- e b marked, that in beef steaks there was consid ra le

h ad variety, and he seen the most ﬁnished gour mands about the town quite delighted with the simple repast of the Society . But with regard to

his the Duke of Norfolk , he hinted, that it was

- custom , on a beef steak day , to eat a preliminary P dish of ﬁsh in his own especial box at the iazza, and then adjourn time enough for the beef steak s .

his He added also , and I heartily concurred in

of remark , that a mere dish ﬁsh could make no

f of more dif erence to the iron digestion his Grace ,

r than a tenpenny nail , mo e or less , in that of an

. u ceremo ostrich After dinner , the D ke was n ious l e y ushered to the chair , and invest d with an

' - l d orange coloured ribbon , to which a si ver me al ,

of in the form a gridiron , was appended . In the l t chair, he comported himse f wi h great urbanity

. O n and good humour common occasions , the president is the target, at which all the jests and

of r On witticisms the table are ﬁ ed . this , the

ﬁre was moderate ; for though a Characteristic

l B f - t a equa ity reigns at the ee S e ks , the inﬂuences

ar e as of rank and station felt there , they are in B E EF - STE B THE AK CLU . 31 every society composed of English gentlemen an d a courtesy stole insensibly upon those, who at other times were the mo s t merciless assailants

n an d on the chair . I observed the , I afterwards

’ o f und my observation conﬁrmed, that the Duke s conversation was various , embracing a large circle

i of of anecdote , and display ng much the terseness of phrase , and accuracy of thinking , familiar to men who have combined much experience with considerable reading . I was astonished to see how little effect the sturdy port wine of th e SO ciety produced on his adamantine constitution ; m for the sa e abhorrence of a vacuum , which had disposed him to do s uch ample jus tice to his din ner, Showed itself no less in his unﬂinching devo tion to the bottle . M Charles orris , the bard of the Club , sung one

e l or tw o xcel ent songs , of his own composition , the very essence of convivial mirth and fancy

’ r and, at nine o clock , the Duke of No folk quitted

C Hi is le c the hair , and Sir John pp y was alled to

h n i l n . P t at une v ab e dig ity oor man , he had a “ terrible time of it . A storm of arrowy sleet and iron shower whistled from all points in his 32 THE CLU B S or LO N DON .

ears . All the rules of civilized warfare seemed

to have been suspended ; even the new members

tried their ﬁrst timid essays upon the Baronet . It a consoled me , however , to hear th t no man

Was more prompt to attack others than Sir

' Oh n i h e J . He was ev dently disconcerted , but

sustained it with great patience . I afterwards learned that he quitted the Society in con s e

uen ce of odd h a q an adventure , which really p

to w pened him ; and which , being related ith

malicious ﬁdelity by on e of the wags at the Beef

of . Steaks , raised a shout laughter at his expense

' Sir J Oh n was an intelligent man , though not

n of the highest rank of intellect . Wi dham used

to of w as n ear say him , that he very being a

of a clever man . He was fond business, and;

of Ow n having no employment his , was in the

habit of entering With warm i n terest into the

f of ‘ af airs others , which he instinctively con

s idered ow n . as his His insatiable curiosity led, h im u into several sing lar perplexities . But his

over -ruling passion was that of visiting remark ;

' ‘ n able criminals , and obtai ing their s tories from

’

their own lips . A murder had been committed ‘ TH E BE EF l STEA K i CLU B L 33

" ' by on e Patch upon a Mr . Bligh,of Deptford ; the

“ oofs a ain s t him e e r pg g w r merely ci cumstantial ,

' ‘ but th e s o r y cohered emarkably , that the infer

z T h e ence guilt w as almos t irresistible . " o case e c nsiderable attention , but many well - disposed persons remained in that state of doubt concerning it , which is intolerably painful , when the life of a h il man being is in jeopardy .

Amongst others , Sir John felt much anxiety

‘ u on the s bject, and thought that it could only be

’ F or relieved by the culprit s confession . this end, he importuned the poor wretch incessantly, b t e u in vain . Patch persist d in asserting his

’ w Hi is l e s innocence , till, wearied ith pp y applica tiOn s th e , he assured Baronet, that he would reveal to him on th e scaffold all that he knew of i ’f th M rs Bl h a . g fdea , Flattered with being made

de os itOr a the p y of this mysterious communic tion ,

Sir John mounted the drop with Patch , and was seen for some minutes in close conference with

’ It a en ed . h old him pp , that a simple woman from the country was in the crowd as s embled at

' u th e w the execution . Her eyes , intent pO a ful p ﬂ

an “ s cene , were ﬁxed; by accidental misdirection;

V OL . II . D 34 S r THE CLUB o LON DON .

upon Sir John , whom she mistook for the person

w as about who to be executed ; and , not waiting

l l t off till the crimina was actua ly urned , she went away with the impression ; the and , above all , the peculiar nose (a

of Hi is l e organ) pp y, being indelibly impressed on her memory . Not many days after , the good

' lady met Sir John in Cheapside . The certainty

h er that it was Patch , seized so forcibly , that she

“ ’ u l n screamed lo d y out to the passi g crowd , It s

’ s P I Patch , it atch ; saw him hanged ; Christ

in deliver me and then fainted . When this

- a eident was ﬁrst related at the Beef Ste ks , a

on mock inquest was set foot , to decide whether

or. a Sir John was Patch not , and un nimously

decided in the afﬁrmative .

Ferguson of Aberdeen has been already men

tion ed. l u He was a singu ar character, and end ed

of with a peculiar species dry humour . In the

H ouse of Commons he was noted for a faculty,

of ’ somewhat akin to that ventriloquism . If a

' pros ing s peaker got o n his legs about the expecte d

of as hour division , and the ordinary means , such

o coughing . yawning , banging the green do r; ’ ‘ - TH E BEE F é l E A K CLUB . 35

f F proved inef ectual , erguson retired to a side

l on gal ery, squatted himself a side bench , so as

’ of e to be out the sp aker s eye , and sent forth

u such nearthly sounds , that , while they com

letel o p y silenced the bore , no one c uld divine

O this . F er s on . f u whence they proceeded g , they — used to tell a characteristic anecdote . During a debate in the beginning of the French war , he

' h ad l or retired to dine at Bel amy s , with two three other members . As they were sitting over

e a . their wine , a messeng r nnounced that Mr

Pitt w as up . Instantly every one hurried down stairs to hear him . Ferguson , unwilling to quit

e his bottle , press d the party to stay . Why ,

’ Pitt is up , was the answer . That s nothing

F . to me , said erguson Let us have some more wine ; for I am sure that it is the very thing that Pitt himself would do, if he were

l “ him I here , and they were to tel that was speaking .

i e The memory of th s agre able evening, so

‘

much out of the circle of common conviviality, m sank deep within e . Ever and anon it v isited

(11111 me, amid the prosaic, festivities, we are

D 2 36 THE CLUBS or LON DO N ;

doomed to undergo in the common routine of — life those stale, vulgar communions , in which we herd rather than associate—where the mirth

is without images , the jest without fancy , and

the wine inebriates rather than gladdens . I n

‘ ‘ 18 12 the year , however , I was honoured with

the rare and enviable distinction of becomin g a

w as member of the Sublime Society . It then

for domiciled , a short time , at the Bedford ,

th e beautiful ' a artmen ts under Piazza , the p at

’ rn h - A old s theatre , where it now olds its meet

’

; n ot . ings , being quite ﬁnished During this

n of i terval , I remarked some change faces , but

h e of e t heart, the spirit the Club , is unchang d

of and the same . I was , course , not unmindful

of the ordeal I had to undergo ; but on e thing — - w comforted and re assured me . T o or three h a ’ foun d m d their way there , who were far fro

on e r u ut being prodigies ; , in pa tic lar, p me quite

’

m . at y ease I said to myself, under this fellow s gabardine will ' I crawl when the storm hisses

around me . When we are diffident of ourselves;

h ow delightful it is to ﬁnd somebody whom; in

‘ of our the most benighted state faculties , we are

o r 38 THE CLUB S LON DON .

l superiority , who , had he been aware how niggard y he had been dealt by in the dis tribution of h u man endowments , must have hanged himself in

u pure vexation . He was worse than seless lum “ ber at the Beef- Steaks ; h e laid on it like marl

l ul n ot Of encumbering the soi , it co d fertilize course the artillery Of the table played profusely upon him ; but this armed rhin oceros coul d feel M ” nothing . is dead, said somebody

of to him , giving him a tap the shoulder“ﬁnding ”

. l him somewhat silent Dead , rep ied the " n ot od Y other, I am dead, thank G . es , ” M ou ar e . y dead , exclaimed Cobb I

—ﬁr s t ou will prove it , y are a dead weight to the

l ou n ot alive Society ; second y, y are to your own

deﬁciencies . From this time , he was called the M * late . Mr and, not relishing the title ,

he withdrew in disgust . The spirit of the Club

seemed to breathe more freely when this incubu s

was removed from it . I wish my reader could see the Sublime Society at on e of its festive sittings in the comfortable

’ asylum p repared for the members at Ar nold s

theatre, when they were burnt away from Co ven t - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 39

Garden , and to which they migrated like E neas and his Trojans , with all that they could save from

Troy . Enough , however, was saved from that ﬁre to keep up the historic interest that connects us with the ancient days Of the Club . Still

Re i uias veterum ue ides mon ment virorum l q q v u a ,

a l for and I re l y believe , allowing the changes which in a long cycle Of years will steal upon all

a i f ue th t is human , that it is st ll the nurse o tr

of English conviviality, the seat that easy festivity ,

’ w h ich equally quickens the fancy and warms the heart . It has , no doubt, somewhat declined from

\Vilkes the era when , Lord Sandwich , Thornton , C the elder Colman , Leonidas Glover , and hurchill , assembled at its board . But even at that Augustan period, its present character was quaintly sketched

Tom O by Warton , who travelled from xford

- merely to pass on e day there . That best natured

of h ow and drollest beings , being asked he liked

You it, replied , Very much , my boys are all to my mind . I know not how to describe you ,

’ but you seem to belong to the tribe of the Oi

“ ’ ‘ 30 W xa pe ﬂ a p p er (Hoi don t care a dammoi) T1115 40 CLU BS OF LONDON .

’ — The don t - care - a- d n feeling still exists un

“ uen chabl a d q y mong us ; a free om which , by

a l mutu l convention , is permitted to press close y

' of on the limits good breeding, but never to over

' - a n ot leap them . Yet there was period , many years since (at my time of life we live but in re tros pect) which I wish could be recalled . Had

‘ * you but seen Cobb there ! It is now upwards o f seven years that he has been taken from us , but the vacancy he has left in our ‘ hearts is n ot l yet ﬁ led up .

U ! H ow nimitated , inimitable Cobb shall I pourtray thee ? I know h ow a cold-blooded lim

dr ner would set about it . He would give a y in v en tory of thy good qual ities ; but that his sky blue diluted panegyric might n ot be taken for

a e ﬂat in ﬂ ttery , he would wat r it down to the

of ow n th e sipidity his candour , with a remark in

of i a on puling tone mparti lity, that the other — hand h ow hateful are these p er con tra credits

‘

C obb h ad . I h e but faults Faults to be sure had,

of th e why remind us them Give me man who,

e s t Lat ecre ary at the In dia House ; ' - 1 THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 4 when he registers the amiable qual ities of a de i parted friend, sees noth ng more ; and who scorns to mix a maw kis h ’ mixture of censure in the

kl of spar ing cup reﬂection , whose incense curls

n gratefully up to the skies . I see o fault in a

Th e friend who is torn from my side . memory of those whom death or absence has removed

r f om us , is a mirror that reﬂects only \what is good , and from which the vapour breathed by a censorious criticism instantly ﬂies off . Poor Cobb ’s faults vanished with the last sigh that de parted from his lips —with that sigh they melted

w into the unstained, ethereal element , ith which

. Of good spirits become blended Cobb , I _re

h os member only the steady , the kind, the

itable — w p friend the host hose wine , as it ran

ou n ew to the brim to cheer y , borrowed bright

‘ of n ness from the brightest cou tenances , that

frowned only if you passed it by untasted ;

l of the mirthfu being , in whose society the hour

departure stole like a thief unsuspected upon you — i i the man Of the world , the least ta nted w th the suspicion and selﬁsh indifference incident to

“ h l n h of w h o those who ave seen u c it, and 42 CLUBs THE OF LONDON .

h a learned as he was in human dealings , d extracted from that learning a forgiving and in dul en t g pity for human frailty . Is it not worth a pilgrimage barefooted from the remotest corners of w the world , to scatter the fairest ﬂowers hich

on the earth nourishes in her bosom , the shrine

of , an honest creature whose whole life was , good h uin our ben eﬁcen ce , good nature, and in action

w as e - s teaker e Cobb an admirable b ef , and play d

r off a delightful pleasantry . The friendly sati e

of i in com and raillery the Society , he took w th

the parable temper . In chair he sustained , and returned the ﬁre with the greatest promptitude ,

on e on e and silenced his assailants by , as the shepherd in Spenser brushes off the Cloud of cumbrous gnats that molested him . Cobb was the author of several dramatic pieces . His farce ,

! s s of called the First Floor , kept posse ion the stage f r of o o . many years To some his comic peras,

l of particu arly his Haunted Tower , and Siege

Belgrade , Storace set some Of his ﬁnest music .

* a D f . His last, c lled Ramah rug , was not success ul

The s cen e w as in Hindus tan an d Dra or D oo , g, r g ,

- in th e an a e of th e coun means a or t. l gu g try, hill f - THE BEE F STEAK CLUB . 43

- At the Beef Steaks , an author, a dramatic author

al . O F es especi ly , is fair game nce , when the

' cen n in e licence of the Club was running high s against poor Cobb , his dramatic production did ! ” not escape . Cobb said Arnold , what a misnomer it was to cal l your opera the Haunted

s ir it Tower . Why, there was no p in it from be ! ” ginning to end Yes, exclaimed some other desperate punster (I cannot n ow recall who it was) but Cobb gave on e of his pieces the most appropriate title possible , by calling it Ramah

Drug ; for it was literally r a mming a drugr down the public throat . True , rejoined Cobb ; but it was a drug that evinced considerable

for on power, it Operated the public twenty nights ” ” in succession . My good friend, said Arnold ,

of triumphantly, that was a proof its weakness ,

if . it took so long in working Arnold, you ” : ou r are right, retorted Cobb in that respect, y ” out play (Arnold had brought a play , which did n ot surv ive the ﬁrst night) had the advantage of

w as mine ; that was so powerful a drug, that it thrown up as soon as it was t aken !

These good - humoured reciprocations never 44 S THE CLUB OF LONDON .

produ ced the slightest misunderstanding ; a rare

of felicity, seeing the unrestrained spirit banter that reigns there : but in those w h o carried on

ro this keen encounter, the elements were most p

l A n pitious y blended . rnold was a fellow of i

‘ an ﬁnite jest . Beneath exterior not polished to th e of ﬁ ot last degree re nement, there lurked n

n al o ly the sterling qu ities of the heart , but a

n rough , masculine understandi g . He was a manly

n n or and inge uous being ; , according to my d m creed , is it any erogation fro those qualities , that he worshipped good wine without a drop of allaying Tiber in it for his hon est face turned to the bottle with as true a devotion as the Mus

’ s ulman s to Mecca . I have spoken Of him in the

n ot h im for past tense, for I have seen many years . Alas that it should be the only tense , in which we can speak of th e few pleasures that are indulged to us I wish that I could worthily commemorate an

us of illus triO member the Sublime Society, then most assiduous in his attendance . But let me

too n ot injure the likeness , by colours faint , and

. a pencil too timid to pourtray him else I might

4G r m: CLUBS OF LONDON .

' i non car et v ate s acr o for disciple , may st ll boast , time has not yet struck this old deer of the forest .

his You should have seen him , as was wont at the e ’ period I am speaking of, making the Soci ty s

ffi . punch , his ancient and rightful O ce It was pleasing to see him at his laboratory at the side c board, sto ked with the varied products that enter into the composition of that nectareous mixture

or t w o a n d then smacking an elementary glass ,

ﬂat of giving a signiﬁcant nod , the its excellence ; and what could exceed the extasy with which

b e ﬁlled the glasses that thronged around the

bowl ; joying over its mantling beauties with an

’ a th e rtist s pride , and distributing fascinating draught

” T a ﬂames and dan s n its c s h t ce i ry tal b oun d.

Well has our laureate earned his wreath . At that table his best songs have been sung ; for that

alle i table his best songs were written . His g a nce to the Beef- Steaks has been an undivided

l . a legiance Neither hail , nor shower , nor snow

S — n n o torm have kept him away no e gagement, - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 4 7 t invi ation seduced him from it . I have seen him there outwatch ing the bear in his seventy eighth year ; for as yet Nature had given no signal of decay in frame or faculty ; but you s aw

u old him in a green and vigoro s age , tripping

u l mirthf lly along the downhil of existence , with out or or of languor, gout , any the penalties exacted by time for the mournful privilege of

v living . I ne er knew any man less infected with the vanity of being t hought younger than he is and so far from wiping any thing from the score ,

I am convinced , that by an amiable fraud, our old hard n ow and then posts in his ledger a year or two more than he ought to do . His face is

' still resplendent with cheerfulness . Die when ” you will , Charles, said Curran to him; you will die in your youth .

u l - l Charles , nder his we l known appel ation of M Captain orris , is now, perhaps , the sole sur

v ivin g veteran of those who ﬁgured in convivial

life forty years ago and through life he . has se cured a degree of esteem which is rarely shared

mere ' min is ters lea u e w ho for by the of p s r p are

r b the most pa t forgot when the owl is drained . 4 8 THE CLUBS O F LONDON :

of al d and the roar the carous has cease . More than one generation has he seen drop from his

of of side , whom he might say , in the words one of his best songs

’ If l ve s o tened t ei da s I a e en t ened t ei h r h r v , h v l g h h r ” n i ts gh .

- A race of water drinkers has succeeded , and the potations of those days (such is the more tha n Homeric degeneracy of our modern Bacchanal s)

v3 s cannot be comprehended by the 0707 vvv a p g. A rabbit that casts its litter in six weeks might as well strive at the gestation of an elephant , as the ban v iv a n t of the present day to carry off what his ancestors of that period could hide be

of neath their girdles . I n the frolic days Carlton

House , Charles was often admitted to its happy

h e Circles . Nor was afterwards forgotten by his

w h o royal patron , never forgot the friends that

. u cheered his lighter hours Yes, the same bo nty (let calumny say what it will ) which has often warmed into life those whom the world had . left

w w libe o to die, giving them only , ith its onted - 4 THE BEE F STEAK CLUB . 9

' ral it Ch oice of on y, the the dunghill which they — rotted that bounty was Shed upon Charles

too it ' w as Morris , at a season, , when wanted and for many years he has enjoyed from that

a ' O ur old princely h nd a comfortable stipend .

as bard appreciates it he ought . It is a memo

rial which will never depart from h im the re

membran ce of it will sooth his latest moments .

It is equally due to the late Duke of Norfolk to

‘ remark,that ourv enerable minstrel Was indebted tO‘him for that snug Sabine retreat in which his

Old z age is now pillowed ; a charming spot near

Dorking, embosomed amidst the gentle un due

of . e a lating elevations Surrey Ther , in a pe ceful valley, whose sides are clothed with innumerous bon h s of hard g , the little mansion the peeps out

for coquettishly , as if too timid display , yet nu

' be lling to concealed . There , in the calm

of a evening a v rious life, he may brood over its short and fallacious pleasures ; there , a repentant

’ ‘ o t ature h e ma pr sely e to N , ydo her homage in her — s a for hallowed recesse meet penance one , who ,

th e of h er w ors i in delirium his heart , derided h p ,

’ preferring , to her embowering shades and o er

V OL . II . E 0 5 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

of P M arching groves , the Shady side all all , and the grove of London There he may feel at last how well he has exchanged the roar of the midnight song for the mild whisper s

n of the breeze, and the madrigal of the runni g brooks . There he may sigh for having once re n oun ced be them , and hope to forgiven Who has not admired the lyric effusions of

? Of ff Charles Morris But to judge their e ect, you should have heard him sing themat the Beef

. of Steaks Voice , science , are course out of the

u h ad question ; for these you wo ld have soul ,

. TO expression , manner say that those songs are deﬁcient in the higher graces of p oetry is hypercritical nonsense . To maintain that they

s n or a have neither the tersene s , the ch ste sim

licit of p y Anacreon , is pedantry , of which a

- l school boy woul d be ashamed . But where wil you ﬁnd such after -dinner songs ? They have li l all a neg gence , an ease (the classical reader wil

a s Aem call it ¢ ) which beﬁts the social hour . They

See the Tow n and Coun try Life one of his earlies t

s ong s . - 1 THE BEE F STEAK CLUB . 5 breathe the soul Of conviviality ; they cure all sadness, but despair ; they make the poor man

of r an d forget the lowliness his fo tunes , the inso lent contrast of upstart wealth to his own desti — tution for to him who is corroded by the

aﬁ s —a enduring pang, the p g that never die few minutes of oblivion are an age of enjoyment . Do not, I pray you, forget the spirit and briskness of the little anacreontic

When th e fan cy-s tirring bo w l W es th e s o to e s ak ul pl a ure,

&c . &c . &c .

But do you remember his exquisite reasons for ﬁlling the glass again That song tells you how much the logic of the table transcends the logic of the schools ; it shows you how demonstratively

n the senses reaso , how eloquently they plead their own cause .

n - as There reig s in the Beef Steaks, I have hinted already, a brotherhood , a sentiment of

o equality . How y u would laugh to see the junior

e c l i l - a memb r emerging from the el ar , w th ha f dozen bottles in a basket ! I have seen Brougham E 2 TH E CLUBS O F LON DON .

o employed in this h nourable diplomacy , and executing it with the correctness of a butler .

The Duke of Leinster , in his turn , took the same duty . With regard to Brougham , at ﬁrst Sight you would n ot set him down as having a natural “ and prompt alacrity for the style of humour that prevails amongst us . But Brougham is an ex cellen t t member , and it is a remarkable ins ance of the pecul iar inﬂuences of this peculiar Society

on the human character . We took him just as

of the schools philosophy , the bar , the senate had

m . s r ade him Literary , foren ic , and parliamenta y

m s w habits are most intractable aterial , you ill

f - o . say , to make a member the Beef Steaks Yet

of h e no man has imbibed more its spirit , and enters into its occasional gladiatorship with the greatest glee .

I believe him to be a most sincere , benevolent

. b e being As a public man , he is sometimes trayed into acrimony ; but it is when he is

w e b mean or th art d y impediments , teazed with petty grovelling exceptions . But who would fetter by precise rules the generous impulses of our na

ture ? or bind over a noble enthusiasm to its

54 TH E CLUBS O F LONDON . of F their professions rom this time , the tone of that overbearing judge was considerably mode rated towards Brougham , and the bar in general .

D . Brougham , as Johnson said of r John Camp n bell , has grazed over the whole commo of lite

t of rature . Is it not strange , that the busy pursui s

u his b sy profession , should allow him time for the

not cultivation Of studies , some of which are germane , but many quite adverse to it In a letter t * writ en by Sir Thomas Bodley to Lord Bacon ,

when at the bar , there is a passage , which has often

struck me as being applicable to Brougham . I

ex en ce cannot choose but wonder , that, your p of

time considered in your public profession , which

hath, in a manner, no acquaintance with scholar

or i ou ship learn ng , y should have culled out the

quintessence , and sucked up the sap of the Chiefest

” ’

in . A ZOilus kinds of learn g , perhaps , would point

’ out a. peculiar fault in Brougham s eloquence

n amely, that he does not always know where to

— s stop that he overlooks the preci e point, where — a step too much is worse than falling off that

’ Bacon s Le e s — tt r Cabal a . - U THE BEEF S TEAK CL B . 5 5

delicate shadowy line at which degeneracy begins .

u He certainly is too red ndant, not to say tedious but he never enters into a debate without well knowing what it is about . H e is not what they — call a party man nor is it p os s ible to make a f party man o him . H e is too ethereal a spirit to do the biddings of a party ; too high -minded to a t or dopt heir animosities , to follow their ido latries . — - But the Beef Steaks . Whose is that pleasing ,

- couhten an ce on self pleased , which there Sleeps

i of a serenity l ke that the foremost of the crowd, who are listening to St . Paul in on e of the ﬁne

n of ? of cartoo s Raphael In spite, however, a

a of u of dead c lm feat re , the tongue that worthy individual never knows repose . It has been going on at the same untired pace for more than an hour . It is Jack Richards , a well known pres hyter of the Cl ub ; and unless at those seasons

when the fell serjeant , the gout, has arrested him , he has never absented himself from its board . He is our recorder, and there is nothing in comedy equal to his pas s in g s enten ce - 0 n those who have offended against the rules and obs er

’ vances of the Society . Having put on C arrick s 56 BS L THE CLU O F ONDON.

hat , he proceeds to inﬂict a long wordy harangue the upon culprit , who endeavours most unavail in l g y to stop him . Nor is it possible to see w hen

to he means stop . His admonition

’ ” Ne e feel s eti in ebb b ut k ee s due on r r r g , p .

But it is th e imperturbable gravity with which

Jack performs his ofﬁce , and the fruitless writh ings of th e luckless being on whom the Shower

of his rhetoric is discharged , that constitutes the

u of am sement the scene .

’ There is no subject Upon which Jack s exuber

N r ance of talk fails him . o do I think that he

- requires a subject at all . It is like a stage coach ,

h on or ul . t at rattles empty f l Yet , Jack is far from being a nuisance . When you grow accus

‘ tomed it becomes on e of to his garrulity , like

a of those noises in your vicin ge , that a mill for

be instance , to which you become reconciled ,

ou cause you know that y cannot stop it . Nor is

on ou it a necessary condition your part, that y

h o n to . him. to s uld atte d him Allow talk , and nothing more is implied in the contract .

But , as to mere quantity , I never before wit - TH E BEE F STEAK CLUB .

' nes s ed loquacity that equalled it . Jedediah Bux ton , who reckoned all the lines spoken by G i arrick n Hamlet, then divided them into words , and then again into syllables and letters , would have given Up Jack in despair . As to the

h w h o our French p ilosopher , held that existence — is shortened by every word we articulate had

on e e that theory been a sound , Jack would n ver have arrived at manhood . A stage in which I was travelling took him up at his country resi

to dence , and it was beyond measure diverting see the unavailing efforts of the other passengers to get in a word ; and the coachman told me ,

on e that , upon occasion , when Jack was the only inside passenger , he happened to open the

al door , and found him t kn at his accustomed

But n o rate . all this is derogation from his numerous good qual ities ; nor does a sounder understa nding exist . Could you but get at the

f of u n deliberate suf rage that nderstandi g , through

of n ot the mazy surplusage his words , it would

‘ mislead you in any matter; however it might

or w Nor concern your weal your oe . in that stream of talk was there ever mingled on e drop of n or of malignity, unkind censure upon the 5 8 B r THE CLU S o LONDON .

erring or unhappy . He would as soon adulte

rate his glass of port wine with water, as dash

that honest, though incessant prattle , with one

malevolent or ungenerous remark . i Do you l ke song , pure , simple song , as it

wells forth from its English fountain , unmixed with foreign and fantastic reﬁnements William

* ! s Linley will charm you at the Beef teaks . He

The follow ing el eg ant s on net w as addres s ed to

Lin e on e w h o c cribed as a oe w at h e fe as l y, by , p t h lt

I w as w tt n in a man . t ri e on hear g him s ing one of ’ P u l s ant ems rcel h .

WILLIAM LI NLEY ES T0 , Q .

W i e m oun C eek etain s its e t fu h u s h l y y g h r h al h l e ,

A n d I a e man f ie nds w h o o d me dea h v y r h l r,

Linl e met ink s I w ou d n ot often ea y h , l h r

S uc mel odies as t in e es t I s ou d l os h h , l h l e

A ll memo of the w on s and s o e dis t es s ry r g r r , For which my mis erable brethren w eep ! But s hould uncomforted mis fortunes s teep My dail y bread in tears and bittern es s ’ A n d if at death s dread moment I s hould l ie

Wi n o l ov d fac at m b ed- s id th be e e y e,

To ﬁx th e as t an ce of m c os in e e l gl y l g y ,

M et ink s s c s t ins eat ed m an e - de h , u h ra , br h by y g l gui ,

Wou d ma me as s th e c u of an is l ke p p gu h by, M w it es n or know t a I h ad died ix h the bl t, h t THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 59 despises (perhaps too much) the modern Italian school ; he is indignantly impatient of the friv o lous English compositions of the present day .

i ai s and re-co ec ed te ms the l ght r , ll t r ” - t s Of th es e mos t bris k an d giddy paced ime .

’ ’ Of A melody of Arne s , or of Jackson s Exeter ,

’ or a simple air of his father s , he executes to admiration ; and, amidst all the revolutions and

of u ai u vicissitudes the art, he has been fo nd f thf l to the characteristic chastity of the style of sing ing peculiar to the Linley family . I had never

a . the good fortune to he r his sister, Mrs Sheridan ; but I can form some judgment of the effect of her voice and manner upon the heart (and mus ic is but a silly thing when it does not reach the heart) by its effect upon an old and enthusiastic

of u r votary m sic, who assu ed me , that when he

a o heard her many years g sing the divine air,

Was I know that my Redeemer liveth , he ready to exclaim in the rapturous language of

Isaac Walton upon the nightingale , Lord,

ot Lord , what music hast thou n reserved for thy 60 THE CLUBS O F LONDO N .

saints in heaven , when thou hast indulged such ” sounds to bad men on earth l

t r our Na ure , it is t ue , has denied to brother

Linley what is call ed a ﬁn e voice ; and what little

organ she allowed him , perhaps , is not much the

for . better port wine and late nights Still , how

of ever, you will forget his deﬁciencies power , in n Of the Spirit and taste of his manner . I k ow

on e of l , no greater treat than his . little ba lads

he th e for when is in humour to sing it , he is

' n ot O - in this ver compliant respect ; and , like the

n “ ' too a t musicia in Horace, is p to practise the ” n u z uam r o a u r q g t s .

Bat it is in the bundle of habits and pecu liarities e that constitut Will Linley, and distin

or h im guish him from his species , rather make

an a species by himself, that y thing like an exact portraiture of him is to be traced ; and to these, no description can do justice! O urClub abounds

' but they have all s ome afﬁn ity

r a e of with the o dinary r c mankind . Will is a

Character much more emphatical ly ; for nothing

' ' that savours of this nether world can b e s aid to

e . b long to him Yet his oddities , that would so

62 THE CLUBS or LONDON .

shak e them . It is quite amusing to remark with what an amiable and anile tenderness he fondles

them , without the slightest argument in their defence ; but, above all, the perfect composure

' nf with which he hears them co uted every day,

conceding every time the whole series of propo

s ition s w a , by hich the confut tion is achieved

and then , when his opponent has done talking , calmly asserting his right to remain in the same

Opinion as before . Of the same immoveable kind, is his opinion on the stale subject of Catholic emancipation . No force of argument can loosen its grasp . It sits secure amidst the superannuated garrison of his i other notions , and entrenched with n the same impenetrable fortresses . Not that he argues when he is vanquished . He never argues , and is there fore never vanquished . I was highly entertained one day , when a warm advocate for the Catholic cause thought that he was overthrowing, by a

of un course Socratic interrogation , the decided qual iﬁed negative of honest Will upon the claims of that large portion of the community ; and cal culating that reasoning would have th e same ope - 63 THE BEE F STEAK CLU B .

th e l ration upon his , as upon genera run of human understandings .

I think I can convince you, said he to Lin ”

if . ley, you are candid ” but I am candid, rejoined the other , not ” to be convinced .

i ou I will beg n then . Will y not allow, that

l a in a l civil communities , e ch individual has a right to wors hip his Creator in the m ode he thinks if best, , in so doing , he does not disturb the peace ” and order of society ?

Certainly .

If, then , the Catholics claim that very right , and their tenets and worship are by no means l injurious to the public tranqui lity, ought the civil magistrate to punish them by a penal exclusion from the rights and immunities which are enjoyed by others ? ”

Oh ! —m — r no y good fellow ce tainly not . Well then—is there any thing in their hold

s or ing tran ubstantiation , or in kneeling to saints ,

or old in making confessions , in considering an

ma n, or rather an old woman at Rome , as the

head of their church ; and permitting that old 64 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

to woman to give orders , and make regulations about that church : is there any thing in all this

or that can promote rebellion against the laws , disobedience to the authority of the state O h by no means . Let them believe what they like . t to Perhaps , then , you will admit , tha punish

or not them for their belief their worship , is likely to make them better or more obedient subjects , n or the best way to make them relinquish them

on but , the contrary , to render them troublesome

or enthusiasts , turbulent for the recovery Of what they conceive to be unjustly withheld . from them 2

all I admit that , exclaimed Linley .

n ot Then do you think, continued the other , that if there is a decided maj ority of these enthusiasts and troublesome customers ’

th e in Ireland, who are rendered so by e pen al h laws , which they ask you to remove, t at this

of our or valuable member empire is now, may ? ” be , soon endangered

Assuredly .

n to Why, the , would it not be better give - TH E BEEF STEAK CLUB . 65

m in s i n iﬁ the what they want, and render them g

cant and harmless (as all sects become when you let O e e them alone) rather , than by keeping p n th ir

' a s discords , and nurturing their nimo ities , make

bad ou them , by your policy , the subjects , which y Of admit that their religious notions, or modes

n o worship , have tendency to make them

all i Why, yes , I admit that ; but I must st ll keep to my opinion— that Catholic emancipation ”

c r . would overturn hurch , state , and eve y thing

There was something truly comic in the dis ap

of u pointment this ingenious disp tant , when he

“ found the most willing admiss ion of all his pre

th e s t to n u mises , without ligh est inclination co c r in h is conclusion and that he had thrown away so “ much good logic upon an intellect that never

' o and ff no u submitted to its jurisdicti n , su ered arg

ment to come within the precincts of its p recon

c e tion s . w h o p The reasoner, however , was one loved humour an d having stared a few seconds at

e his invincible antagonist , he b came instantly alive

n to the farce , and burst i to a shout of laughter .

r r Linley impa ted to M . Thomas Moore some n r interesting materials for the work which , u de

V OL . II . 66 or THE CLUBS LONDON .

of the title a Life of Sheridan , is such a motley

of patchwork metaphor , simile , and quotation O ’ from vid s Metamorphoses , that the slender streak of biography that intersects its gaudy and l l . enamel ed pages , is hard y discernible When

u the editor ﬁrst waited pon Will, with a solicita tion for all the information he could supply re

- in - not specting his brother law , the interview did

f o r promise a fruit ul Supply f anecdote . O u wor

’ thy friend s memory is proverbially treacherous , and it general ly contrives to break down with the incident or joke at the most critical moment . It

“ i . on s . fortuned so th occasion Ah Mr Moore ,

of said he, as soon as the purpose the visit was “ to opened , I am exceedingly happy ﬁnd that you have undertaken the task of writing th elife

-in - f . . s a o my brother law , Mr Sheridan I y my ” - in - brother law, (Will is minutely circumstantial “ in narration , ) for you know that he married my ” ” ou a th e sister . I comprehend y perfectly , s id

; Oh ! . M e l ou other Mr oor , I must ﬁrst tel y

an . admirable a epigram written by Sherid n , soon

m recol after his marriage , whilst it is fresh in y

n . s o lectio It is so poignant, and witty . that I - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 67

O n would not have you mit it o an y account . ” Now , then , let me have it , exclaimed the bio

’ u - 1 o t . 1 grapher , taking his note book I give it you presently , Mr . Moore but I must ﬁrst men tion the circumstance in which it originated , that

ou . y may enter completely into its spirit Why ,

s w . . , you mu t kno , Mr Moore , that Mr Sheridan

a just after his marriage , was determined to t ke a trip to the continent with his wife , my sister .

For this purpose , they took a small vessel at Har w ich , which was bound to Rotterdam . It was — the Minerva, Captain Brown stop , stop , it was

— or the Venus , Captain Thompson , I think, it

was the Eliza , Captain

n ot It does matter , Mr . Linley , what the

’ s or h en — hip was , who commanded Pray, let s ” have the epigramz

You a . sh ll have it presently, Mr . Moore ; but

e I have not yet come to it . Well , Sir, this Cap

n of n a or Th om tai Brown the Mi erv , Captain p

- son of the Venus , was a surly, ill behaved fellow s and u ed Mr . Sheridan , and my sister, very

~ . b c on trar shamefully They were detained _ y y

winds , and there was not a morsel to eat or drink F 2 68 THE CLUBS or LONDON .

on board . So , Sir , Sheridan was determined that — the fellow Should suffer for it s o he wrote an

n him epigram upo , which is the severest thing I ever saw ; it did for him completely . A ” y, said Moore , who was beginning to be impatient now for the epigram .

To be sure , continued Linley , it was the happiest hit that ever was— it did not spare the l ” fe low , I assure you .

Here a pause ensued, during which the reciter of the epigram was bitin g ' h is lips in an apparent

n . i ago y to recover it The ep gram , the epigram , — — Mr . Moore why by G I have forgot the epigram ! This anecdote found its‘ way to the

- Beef Steaks, and after dinner there was a uni

for versal vociferation the epigram , to the no

our small vexation of worthy brother . A better heart never beat than that of this

of excellent creature , which , his conduct to

Leftle ff his unfortunate friend, y, a ords abundant

L ftle . P e p roof oor Charles y is, probably , by this time forgotten , except by the few who wit

n s s ed e his extraordinary talents , and knew

re his modest and unobtrusive virtues . That

70 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

r these labours , agg avated by the unseen but unin termitted of anxieties his mind , his constitution

our - a sank rapidly ; and honest he rted friend,

on Linley , rescued him , whilst he was his death

ff of bed , from the ru ians the law , whom a low attorney had let loose upon him at that awful mo

h ad ment when all consciousness nearly left him ,

n and his life stood o his lips as if ready to depart . It was only within a small circle that the poetical talents of Charles Leftl ey were known or appreciated . The laboured mediocrity, the tinsel polished into glare , which , since his time ,

l or have been al owed to pass f poetry, and to

of usurp its rewards , placed by the Side his severe and chastened taste and his simple but capti

atin l ow m k of v g imagery, g g ali e with the warmth

of his heart, and his imagination , would have faded into nothingness . I think Southey, who

e w is never slow to disc rn , nor reluctant to ackno l ed e all th e g kinds Of contemporary merit, was

ﬁrst who directed the public attention to poor .

’ Leftle s - y sonnets , as master pieces in their kind . “ Alas ! it was a thankless muse that he medi d tate . Fortunately, he died before the existing - 1 THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 7 school of poetry had arisen (if the sacred name of r s o poet y is to be prostituted) , before praise and emolument h ad been showered down on the

hoc en us mn e and the g o , whose theory it is that nothing is poetical that does not“ recede from common sense in thought or per s icuit or of p y in expression , the bitterness his ow n disappointment would have been in n o slight degree sharpened by the misdirected patronage of composition s so revoltin g to a mind that is truly and essentially poetic .

The little life of Charles Leftley was rounded by a dream but it was a dream into which the

t l whole vi ality , the very identity Of a youthfu

. an d poet , becomes transfused He loved ; in his decaying health to have told him that his passion was not returned , would have at once snapped th e ﬁlmy thread on which his existence

n : — hu g it was returned not , indeed, with love ,

’ n o which comes at one s bidding , yet with all that a kind and compassionate nature could yield —b in its place y pity, which is generally supposed

b i ” H e (perhaps erroneously) to e ak n to it . was willin g to be deceived ; and he believed that a 72 THE CLUBS or LONDON . — warmer feeling inspired it a feeling that was n ot divided with others , but glowed in the gentlest of femal e bosoms for h imself alone . Who could

ﬁnd it in his heart to dislodge this c herished idea — to refute this hallowed creed of his imagina

h ad tion But despondence , and even despair,

also their t urns moments came Upon him when

n to he felt that, however agonizi g it was doubt,

it was foll y to hope ; and he would sit whole

’ hours , benighted in the soul s gloom , brooding

of Oh over the sad accidents sickness , neglect,

s curit an d crUell y, indigence , that had so y dark

ened his prospects , and crossed his early and his

. u latest aspirations Disease , therefore , pon feel

ings thus attuned , and a frame so enervated ,

of made but short work it . I must not forget to

’ mention that the vision of Leftley s heart and

’ fancy was his friend Lin ley s Sister ; a miniature

of n resemblance Mrs . Sheridan, e dued with many

of her graces , and, in musical accomplishments,

- scarcely inferior to that highly gifted woman .

This lady afterwards made a matter - of- fact match

of . it with a most unpoetical personage , a Mr

Ward ; but she soon followed, and almost as - 3 THE BEE F STEAK CLUB . 7

e of e l prematurely, the arly fate the f ma e branch of her family .

for h is Linley collected , with a pious care

’ poor friend s memory , his scattered poetical frag

' to ments , and published them in a volume , which

u he preﬁxed a short biographical notice . B t he

’ n ot i did shine as an editor, hav ng inserted in the

’ book as many of his ow n pieces as of Leftley s or m n as a wag , who was entioni g the circum

- stance at the Beef Steaks ; expressed it , he had

’ packed up his ow n clothes in his friend s port manteau . But Will , as a biographer, laid him

ui prostrate to the attacks of the Club ; self - q te

‘ fOr n Ot in that little composition , a few Of those solecisms had escaped him , to which unpractised writers are always liable , and these were care fully picked Up by some facetious critic for a

little mirth at his expense . The luckless sen

i ten ces which this merciless censor h aul ed in to

notice ran th us Charles Leftley was the eldest

s on of — a for his father ; truth , the correctness

of i m wh ch , Linley war ly pledged himself. The

’ same playf ul persecutor of Bill s authorship found

also , or pretended to ﬁnd (for the rogue read it from the book) the following J oh n s on ian pas 4 7 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

’ sage respecting Leftley s birth His father

was a traitor, and his mother a sempstress ; an

union , which , if not ﬁrst suggested , was probably

accelerated by the mutual sympathi es of a con

al h geni occupation . T is pompous sentence

excited considerable mirth , and the sober truism n co tained in the following passage, produced a “ - still greater sensation . It is a well known

b r e uen t r e etition fact that novelty itself, y f q p , ” loses much of its attraction .

This , however, was nothing to the amusement

furnished by a novel in three volumes , which

poor Linley had been ill - advised enough to pub

for lish , and which Sir Richard Phillips gave him

hon or ar ium of u the immense thirty po nds . It

' r d was called Ralph Reyb i ge . The schooli n g he received at the Beef- Steaks for this production had a most salutary effect ; for I am persuaded that otherwise he would have brought out a whole

of progeny novels . But Will, when the agony of wounded authorship was over , used to exclaim to his tormentors

This is n o ﬂattery ; thes e are couns ellors

T at fee in e s uade me w a I am h l gly p r h t . - 5 THE B EEF STEAK CLU B . 7

l Th e admonition , though usefu , was severely

' F or Z i administered . the same o lus brought a

f . volume o the work in his pocket , and read a passage of it aloud . This was an ungentle , and

k . , , almost un ind , discipline Linley poor soul in

of the innocence his character , imagined that

to he could paint the world he , whom it was all

term in co n ita a g ; he , to whom the wiles and

’ tortuous labyrinths of man s heart were as fami ‘ liar as to the infant w h o has just peeped into it

n ot os It could , therefore, be supp ed that a mind s o n u in u tutored in human life , should prod ce teres tin g and engaging portraitures of it ; and certain it is , that when the production made its

a to of ppearance, it was found consist those

- i threadbare occurrences , and common place sent

m of ents , a specimen which , the merciless wight

u to . who bro ght the book , read the Club as follows

a ere r in ation of It describes p g the hero , and forms

part of a chapter entitled

TH E RECOGNITION .

O U R w h o n ow t i hero , had walked eigh een m les,

a - rrived, hungry and exhausted , at a neat looking H E F T CLU BS O LON DON .

inn . Much as his thoughts were engrossed by

of the idea his charming Amelia , and though the

tenderness of the partin g scene still occupied his

memory, yet exercise and fatigue produced their

ff on usual e ects a constitution naturally robust ,

and he was visited with th e cravings of a violent

a . ppetite As he approached the larder, his eyes

‘ sent forth a glance of eager inquiry as to its con

e l of t nts , and he asked the andlady , in a tone

c for . impatien e , what she had his supper The

n of la dlady , a fat buxom widow forty, with a

' m for complacent s ile , in which pity the young pedestrian (for she read upon his counten ance

‘ that some s ecret sorrow was preying on his r hea t) had a considerable share , gave the usual

- reply , Beef steaks , mutton chops , and veal cut

' ’ of lets . The contrariety temptations acting with

' at e our nearly equal force , ﬁrst perpl xed hero ; b ut his choice was soon determined by the in

' of th e v eal outlet y iting appearance , and a piece

d . of col bacon , its natural ally , that lay beside it

u h im The repast was soon served p to , with a

w oiild pint of tolerable Port , which have recon ciled him to homelier fare than that before him

THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

of novel Ralph Reyb ridge . So that it appears

’

o . t have been a favourite scene of the author s .

Yet . when we recollect the snares that vanity is

our for ever throwing about paths to entangle us , who could be so cold -blooded as to deride or

for sneer at this worthy creature , a slight miscal

culation of his powers ? The thing itself is com

' th e failin on e l mon , and g a venial ; it is a misal ied

of on branch that noble spirit , that spurs us to

of the great . enterprizes the intellect and the

imagination ; and it would be a dangerous , as well

as ungenerous policy, to frown down the inno

cent, though mistaken predilections , we some

for times entertain the very productions , to

which our powers are the most incompetent . It

is , however, justice fairly due to Linley, and to

l s to on the Sub ime Society it elf, remark, that

these occasions, he never betrayed the irritable

of sulkiness a roasted author , but took the plea

s an tries that played around him with the most

b . I impertur able good humour nay, am quite

la titudes of n v convinced, that the p his o el were

s o u placed before him in ridiculo s a light , that he h imself most heartily concurred in the laugh - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 79

they excited . Such is the spirit of this admirable — Club the very martyr of the joke becomes its

I cannot ﬁnd that Linley furnished Moore , for Of his Life Sheridan , with any materials but the

- - in common place books , in which his brother law was occasionally wont to deposit h is dramatic

or - u col ~ sketches , to bottle p the jokes he had lected for future use , and which he had either

‘ or on e imagined himself, heard from any else .

But Linley , I think , might have scraped up many

of of facetious pleasantries Sheridan , many which were deeply engraved in his recollection , because

or they had been practised upon himself, upon

H oz his brother y (as Sheridan called him) , who was an unfailing butt when he was disposed to amuse himself with a practical On one l occasion , the jest was much too practica , if, as

Out for Sheridan afterwards gave , it was intended a ' jest, which I am much disposed to doubt .

a o Poor Linley , many years g , had written a

r th e i musical fa ce , in two acts , called Pav lion ,

an d h ad which was acted at Drury Lane , set the

songs to some exquisite music of his ow n com 80 THE CLUBS O F LONDON

position , which was highly and justly admired . But not being much experienced in dramatic

al for S writing , and natur ly solicitous the uccess of

his ﬁrst attempt in that department , he placed it in

’ Sheridan s hands , that the dialogue might receive

a few touches from so great a master . Sheridan

t w - under ook the task ith his usual good nature ,

on e e which , as every knows , was in xhaustible in — all kinds Of promise . The piece was cast the performers were satisﬁed with their parts— and the n ight ﬁxed for its representation ; but the

’ manuscript still slumbered upon Sheridan s table , and it was only by incess ant importunities that

for the author could recover it in time a rehearsal . But it was returned with no correction or altera

of tion whatever, save the slight addition a very

’ ’ a middling joke upon the lover s v let , who , it

of seems , was subject to perpetual ﬁts absence ,

n did every thing in a violent hurry, and u ited the incompatible ofﬁces of writing love - verses for his

a er master , and getting every thing ready that pp tain ed to his toilette . This addition Linley

n ot w s could very well reject , though it a none ” of for the newest, the idea, such as it was , had - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 8 1

e b en worn threadbare by Congreve and Cibber .

’ In answer to his master s reproof of his negli

gence , the fellow makes a remonstrance upon the irksome and incongruous duties that were cast

upon him .

n ot There , says he , had I ﬁfty verses to

write for you upon your ﬁnding Miss Louisa

’ Dangle s garter ? Had I n ot at the same time

your coat to brush , your boots to polish , your hair

to to dress , and carry the poetry, with the garter

’ s D — all enclo ed , to Miss angle s maid and was not this to be done in a single hour ?

His master replies Yes , you blockhead, and you marred the whole by your cursed confusion of for ou head, and precipitancy of action y ran to in a violent bustle Miss Dangle , burglariously entered her dressing- room, and brushed her — ridin g - habit v i et armis then curled her hair by

- - sheer force with cold curling irons and, after all , inscribed the verses to me , and enclosed the garter in the envelope . t This , which is certainly not in the bes anti

’ of w as thetic style Sheridan s comedy , L by the

of w h o Critics the pit , never dreamed that She

V OL . II . G “ 8 2 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

ridan had furnished it , considered as a miserable attempt on the part of the author to mimic the

of manner that great comic writer , and probably conduced much to the failure of the piece . When

Sheridan was told of the mischief which his slight ff contribution had e ected , he replied with inﬁnite

’ : coolness , It s the very thing I wished the farce was so replete with absurdities , that I thought there was no harm in hazarding on e absurdity more . Bill Linley has a good situation in the ’ — Company s service w h y d oes he n ot go back to ? d— d India If his farce had succeeded , we

for should have had him here the rest of his life ,

or scratching his head in a garret , twiddling his

- a of n thumbs in the green room , inste d savi g rupees

” to 10 11 h is enough come back , and in carriage .

In all probability, Sheridan , whose dramatic reading (limited as his range of reading had been in other branches of literature) , had met with something resembling this epigrammatic des crip

of tion the blunders Of a lacquey , and clapped it

- into his dramatic note book, where it was to lie

snugly till an occasion offered for making use of

it , when it was to receive the necessary polish , and - THE BE EF STEAK CL U B . 83

e . to be brighten d into wit In an indolent mood ,

’ Lin le s however , he probably transferred it into y a u an trouble f rce , witho t giving himself y in improv

for h ad h as us tl ing it he , as Moore j y remarked , a most astonishing talent of working up the raw material of inferior intellects into a manufacture

w n o not unworthy of his o . His bi grapher has traced many of h is happiest sallies in the House of Commons to very ordinary archetypes . I would undertake to assert , that a very great part of the most striking passages in his speeches might be pursued to sources whence it would hardly be s to w uspected that he had condescended borro , what his genius enabled h im afterwards to repay

s o . One t of h usuriously ins ance this , whic Moore h as of overlooked, is observable in that part his

on of e e celebrated speech the trial Hastings , wh r he describes the devastation of the province of — Oude a passage that has been highly extolled for its eloquence . If we could suppose a person to have come

u t s ddenly in o the country , unacquainted with the circumstances that had passed since t h e days of

S u ah UI a — j Dowl h , he would naturally ask What

a 2 84 THE CLUBS or LON DON . cruel hand had wrought this wide desolation

What barbarian foe had invaded the once smiling province , ravaged its ﬁelds , and depopulated its

—He villages would ask , what disputed succes

a a hren z sion , what milit ry r ge , what civil p y , had induced the inhabitants to rise in savage hostility to the commands Of Providence , and the works of ? man He would ask what religious zeal , what unbridled fanaticism , had aggravated the black despair , and licentious havoc of war l It wil be perceived , that he had consulted Sir

’ ’ o John Denham s p em called Cowper s Hill , and

fi of found there the rst rude sketch that thought, which he afterwards SO finely amplified in the

e e i u min lines , wher the poet b aut f lly deplores the and spoliation of the religious houses by Henry the Eighth .

Wh o s ees t es e dis ma e s bu t w ou dem n d h l h ap , ld a What barbarous invader s ac k ed th e land ? But w en h e e rs n o Got n o Tu k did in h h a , h, r br g ” T is des o tion C is tian kin &c . &c . h la , but a hr g ,

The two ﬁrst lines seem to have suggested the

senten ce of th e speech w hich I have quoted ; and

' the next couplet to have supplied the pas sage im

86 THE CLUBS OF LO N DON .

n ot thrift and advancement , is sullenly expended

u to upon himself, nor excl sively applied the fur th eran ce of his ow n schemes of emolument . He

n . is a zealous , active frie d There are upon record many honourable man ifestations of his kind heart

edn es s . He is also hospitable in a certain way

as b that is , by inviting many guests as his ta le

will hold , and quite as . many as his table will

or u supply , rather do ble that number , without paying the leas t attention to the classing and

ou assorting his company . So that if y dine with

ou off Dick , y may think yourself peculiarly well ,

if you are not elbowed by the identical person

whom you would most wish at the devil and the

whole party would be egregiously lucky , if their

festivity was n ot completely overlaid by some wet

of blanket above at least thirty years standing ,

w h o for t n , hat lo g period , has been proscribed

al l n from huma association , and whose dinner at

’ Dick s comes in as a sort of parenthesis to the

n daily tenor of his e xiste ce . I remember dining

' with Dick during an election -week for West

n minster , when party feeli gs ran very high .

Before the company were fully assembled, the - THE BEE F STEAK CLUB . 8 7

- for n drawing room door ﬂew open a gentlema ,

’ w h o on , in the course of the morning s debate

u the h stings , had received a kick from a person w h o differed from him in politics ; and a few

u min tes after , the very person was announced , by whom the assault had been made . This was a conior dia dis cors of the most interesting kind , and was much more amusing to every body else

a to w h o th n it was the parties themselves , found

e th mselves , as may be easily imagined , in no very

to . a agreeable position each other Nay , so tot lly

al unmindful is Dick of all soci incompatibilities ,

l of that a ady , who , in consequence certain matri l monia infelicities , had been separated from her

on e to husband , was seated day at his table next

for w h o a chair apparently kept vacant a guest,

had not yet made his appearance ; when , in the

of middle dinner , the husband himself glided into

the apartment, apologised for being late , and took

of the unoccupied seat by the side his wife, to f which Dick , in utter unconsciousness o the re

of lative character either , had motioned him . I have once or twice met Sir Francis Burdett at

’ ’ on e of Dick s hospitable parties in Lincoln s Inn 88 THE CLUBS O F LON DO N .

Fields . The ﬁrst time I had that good fortune,

’ was about the period of C obbett s ungrateful and

- dishonest conduct towards that high minded man ,

when every circle rang with indignation , and no

on e pronounced the very name of Cobbett with

out . on disgust I remarked, this occasion , a

for chair kept some person who was expected , and asked Arnold , who sate near me , if he knew for whom it was reserved . Can you have any ” ? i : for to doubt sa d Arnold why , Cobbett be A ll sure . this jumble arises from a sort of

’ w chaotic confusion in Dick s memory, hen he

out t sends his invi ations , and from his picking up on e f of hal his party , as he accidentally meets

of o them in the street . Some these c ntr etemps have been so strange , and have given birth to such ludicrous scenes, as sometimes to throw upon Dick the suspicion of having got them up as regular jokes but Dick may be honestly acquitted of all premeditated facetiousness .

un in termittedt ide of The almost good fortune , on which Dick has rode s o prosperously through

al . a pretty long life, has been ready hinted The

of de ~ bulk his wealth , which is considerable , was TH E - 8 BEEF STEAK CLUB . 9 rived from the late very eccentric Lord Ched worth , who became acquainted with him by mere accident, made him his steward , and solicitor , and at his decease the residuary legatee of all his per sonal property , having devised to a Mr . Pennie ,

ro of Great Yarmouth , the whole of his landed p f f perty . In consideration o the transfer o the

to residuary property , Pennie agreed transfer the

’ estates to Wilson ; an exchange in which Dick s good genius appeared to desert him, for as it

out turned , the residue was considerably more

lan Of valuable than the d. this accidental ac

’ of quaintance , which laid the foundation Dick s

on e of opulence , the origin was those whimsical fatalities with which Fortune , in her Sportive

n a . mood, occasio lly amuses herself Dick chanced to be on e of a party that went down by water to

Richmond ; they carried with them their ow n

for of i provision , the purpose d ning in the Open air , and ﬁxed upon a delightful spot beneath the

’ of - canopy a ﬁne beech tree in Mr . Cambridge s

for meadow the place of their repast . It seemed

to have been planned by Nature for s uch a pur

to mortiﬁcation Oh pose ; but, their great , they E 9 0 TH CLUBS O F LONDON . served a public notice afﬁxed in legible characters

- to a tree near the water side , prohibiting persons from dining in any part of the grounds : but the

A LL prohibition was thus expressed , PERSONS

LANDING A N D DIN ING HERE WILL BE PROSECUTED ” LA too ACCORDING TO w . This was plain a hint to

to be misunderstood , and the party were about

b oat of turn their in search some other nook , where they could spread their cloth without com mitting a trespass when Dick assured them , that if they proceeded a few yards lower down , and then n ot landed , their case would come within f o . the letter the notice All penal laws , reasoned

. ro Dick , are to be construed strictly A notice p hibitin g persons from sitting down to enjoy their

n of din er , is in the nature a penal law , and to be

We construed strictly . are forbidden to land a n d

els ew her e i dine there but if we land , we may d ne ther e for an d u n ot the word has a Cop lative , a disjunctive sense . This ingenious construction

’ was instantly adopted ; and Dick s astute c om mentary strongly recommended him to Lord

as of Chedworth , a person likely to be great ser

to n of r vice him in the manageme t his prope ty , TH E - A BEE F STE K CLUB . 9 1 which turned out to be a very productive employ

’ ment during the peer s life , and terminated , as we

n re have seen , in the mag iﬁcent bequest , which

’ mun erated Dick s zeal and activity at the close f o it .

The dispositions of this will were s o extraor

’ din ar of y, as to suggest to his Lordship s next kin an application to the Court of Chancery to set it aside and an issue to try the sanity of the testa tor was moved for . But the motion was nega tiv ed of fﬁ , after hearing a long series a davits sworn by persons of th e highest respectability in the kingdom ; all of whom bore the strongest

n ot to of attestation , only the general soundness

’ Ch edw orth s l b ut to Lord intel ect , the peculiar vigour and perspicuity Of his reasoning powers , and to the great extent and variety of his attain ments , particularly in criticism , and historical

n ot to information of every kind . It is be

n of denied , however , that ma y the legacies were almost whimsically bequeathed . Pennie was

a oth e totally unconnected with him , but as his p

cary and the other dis pos ition s s av our ed of an

eccentric humour , contracted most probably from 2 TH E 9 CLUBS OF LONDON .

’ the early circumstances of his Lordship s life . Lord Chedworth had once been the victim of a most cruel and unjust accusation ; and he had been advised to bring an action for civil damages a gainst the calumniator , from whom , under Lord

’ M an s ﬁeld s direction to the jury, he recovered

ﬁve hundred pounds . Having thus made his e l of lection , and waived by his appea to a court

of law , the course proceeding which custom pre

ou scribes such occasions , an attempt was made

n ot in certain quarters , and without success , to deprive him of an honourable estimation among

English gentlemen . It was , no doubt , in this circumstance that his long cherished habits of solitude and seclusion ﬁrst originated ; and they secluded him for the residue of his days from the f sphere o society to which he naturally belonged .

He inhabited for nearly that period a smal l house

- in the market place at Ipswich , and lived upon so restricted a scale of expenditure , that his pro h d. perty rapidly accumulate In t is retirement , his favourite pursuits were seemingly inconsistent — — ones the study of law and of Sh aks peare and thus he was enabled to discharge the duties of a

9 4 THE CLUBS O F LONDON . the three per cents and many smaller ben efac tions distributed among severa l inferior members

t h ow of the corps . I know n o others would

I care n ot for r feel , and ; but mine own pa t, I cannot imagine a luxury of the heart , an enjoy

of ment the intellect , more perfect , more true and unmixed than that which must have been b l felt y this exce lent , though singular being , as

few his hands traced the words , that in a Short

for a t months ( he died soo.n f er he had written his

l ow n d wi l , which was all in his han writing,

to saving the signatures Of the witnesses , ) were raise those victims of the‘ world ’s contempt to a

of degree ease , comfort, and independence , which they had never dared even to hope for in the

of wildest dreams their fancy .

Dick stood the ﬁre of the Beef- Steaks with

- exemplary coolness and good humour . But he was sometimes unmercifully roasted. I remem ber his dining there after his return from a short

to trip to Paris , which city he had gone imme diatel y after the peace , to stare and gape , and make blunders in French with nearly all the rest of his countrymen . Arnold contrived , with great - THE BEE F STEAK CLUB . 9 5 d exterity , to draw him into some Parisian details for Dick ’s entire innocence of the French lan

to guage , and his stubborn indocility all foreign usages and customs , rendered his descriptions

On u quite original . this occasion , he was Sing larly happy in enumerating the dishes at a French table , and in describing those which most pleased

w as to him , his memory sure betray its usual

u s for h e infelicity . He told , instance , that thought the boul evar ds that were served up to

’ d h ete him at a certain table , delicious . We could never satisfactorily trace through the laby

’ rin th of poor Dick s misapprehensions , what was the speciﬁc dish which he meant to describe when he stumbled onthis absurd misnomer but

boui we concluded that it was either a simple lli, or bouilli v ert h e to a , that wished specify .

did n o Cobb called out , Dick , it was well they t

serve you up the Palais Royale for sauce to your ” d fo r is de v ea u boul evar s . r As the , which Dick thought the perfection of the French l cookery, he was eternally exto ling it ; but he took care to give it a name more familiar to his

u al —for English ear, tho gh in re ity a French one 9 6 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

it r end ou h he called a ez v s . Being asked if e

of liked the French mode cooking their partridges ,

(these questions were insidiously put for the sake

of i n h e elic ting some amusing blu der) said , he

could n ot h ear them served up in s hoes : Here

e for we w re all at fault some minutes , till , at O length , an edipus solved the enigma ; for it was p er dr ix aux choux that Dick intended by that

n . stra ge phrase It was upon this occasion , that

’ at V er s a gentleman who had dined with Dick y , assured us that in the course of the dinner they served up a roasted partridge, when Dick asked

' for a the waiter , or rather intended to ask him

of pheasant , alledging that he was tired partridge

. ! ais an but, as usual , Dick mistook the word (f ) , and desired him to bring him a p ays an ne ! In

t h e short , there was no end to slips into which his most un gallican organ betrayed him;

The student of human nature would have but an imperfect collection Of anomalies without such

F r . o a character as Dick it brings , as it were ,

the m of o into sa e focus observation , the most p p os ite contrarieties of mind and intellect which human nature supplies . Would you think , giving

9 8 THE CLUBS or LON DON .

twenty leagues . By G it is scarcely cre dible ! ” Dick was a member of the celebrated Drury

of Lane Committee , and took his share that

al motley theatric monarchy , which , if it answered

to l th e no other purpose , at least served i lustrate misrule and confusion that must always result, when any bus iness is managed by persons who

of . are utterly ignorant it It would , however , i be but a sorry compl ment to Dick , to say that he was as ﬁt for a theatrical legislator as e or any other p rson , who , taking m easure of his own intellect , and arbitrarily putting upon it his own valuation , imagines that no appeal lies from th e decisions Of his H taste and genius . ad Dick been the sole

of - superintendent that over governed concern , I am sure that he would n ot have crammed down the public throat so much insipid stuff in the

or v Shape of new , re ived dramas as was brought l out in that interva ; much less the ridiculous ,

’ of th at durin abominable imitations humanity, , g

the period of that dramatic usurpation , crowded

of the stage in the shape actors and actresses . Tﬁ BEEF - STEAK CLUB 9 9

it : beh oves From this animadversion , me to

- - l except Lord Byron , who , with every rightfu

or l e n - claim to admonish regu at , either advised

on e s nor regul ated . Yet no was more sen itively alive to the assumptions of nor s aw

l - l with a c earer discernment, the thin spread ayer of l information , that covered as much intel ectual

lot of inanity as falls to the man , and much more than his usual allow ance of conceit and assurance . ” “ A ll are r goods , said he , b ought

- i to the shop w ndow . There is little or nothing

in a . his warehouse , and what there is, is dam ged l Dick never interfered with theatrica business . The only time he ever exerted any inﬂuence in

- the green room was , when he requested them to

’ of O revive Southern s play ronooko , which had

delighted him when a boy . This was n ot quite convenient , but they promised Dick that it

on Should be got up , and played the Saturday

On following . that night , however , they acted O thello , which had been already in preparation

c l but Di k , who had not seen the bil s , attended

of the performance his favourite tragedy, and

e on obs rving a black man the stage , had no H 2 100 O F THE CLUBS LONDON .

d of O e e oubt its being ronooko , and w nt hom

amused and satisﬁed . It was by this means that Wilson was brought into contact with many eminent theatrical cha racters b e , whom frequently invited to his table . and entertained with his accustomed liberality .

I had the happiness to meet John Kemble there , and I was highly delighted with my good fortune , and the more so , as I sate next to him . The conversation at ﬁrst did n ot see m to interest

’ for him . Dick s instinct inviting bores had not

on W— w n M r . been inactive this occasio . A

e an d On k pt up a perpetual spluttering , went talking, though nobody seemed to listen to him .

' Kemble was uncommonly sil ent,an d I did what

w no I could, though I trust ith unseemly impor tun it as u w r y, but only m ch as he ould conside

t e . complimen ary , to get him to conv rse A few

’ revolutions of the bottle at length relaxed his e taciturnity , and he mad some remarks about

h ak s eare a S p , th t proved how diligently he had

read him ; and what is most essential to just

Shaksperean criticism , how much he had studied

’ the poets and writers that were Sh aks peare s con

102 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

part of the ﬁrst act he considered to be spurious , as well as the second arid fourth scenes of the

of third act , not a line which could have ﬂowed

’ from a mind like Sh ak s peare s . But the soliloquy

t h e of Falconbridge in that act, and speech of the same personage that concludes the second, were stamped with the impress of the mighty

of master . The rest the play , he had no doubt,

n ot was genuine , merely from the language ,

n ot which was always the surest test, but from the spirit and animation with which the cha racters are sustained .

I asked him what he thought of Richard th e

Second ? He read a note he had written upon l l that play , in which he had ca cu ated that not

on more than e half was written by Sh aks peare .

‘ ai e ai The rest, he s d, had been r t ned from the old

l a e t , m a d p y,gf h same name noticed by, Ca den , n

. t ! Lord Bacon I is as tonishing, he remarked

how little this part of the subj ect has been

t re e ed t e . ct , . . h t ed he e rs , a tend to by dito Pope j , ,

s roceedi t , rhyming couplet , as not. p ng a all “ or

few e o e exc ptions. fr m th hand Of “ - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 103

Shaks peare ; but there his suspicions about the

r i play stopped . He eferred the strik ng disparity

a in this and in other plays , to the inequ lity of

’ Sh ak s eare the poet s genius . But p could not, s l unless by an intellectual impo sibi ity, descend to — low prosaic insipidity such trash , for instance, as the whole of the last two acts of Richard the

Second . Yet , how beautifully are these acts

b Sh aks eare enamelled , now and then , y p ; par ticul arly in the entry of Bolingbroke into Lon

’ of don , and his complaint his son s disorderly ”

. fﬁ conduct I had great di culty, continued Kem “ St en ble , in convincing George eev s that the

of garden scene , at the conclusion the third act,

’

Sh aks eare s . im was not p I read it over to h .

eel He would notf that it was spurious . Finding; a therefore , that it was of no use ppealing to his

a l l t ste, I made use of a co latera argument , which

u s —Ih prod ced instant conviction . It was thi

Sh aks eare all his historical plays , p had the good sense and judgment never to deviate from the

Ste en s s . chronicles . To this ev fully a sented

‘ Now s e t th e la , at the period repre n ed in p y, the TH E CLUBS O F LONDON . nominal queen was a child of only ten years of

of e age , the daughter of Charles the Sixth Franc ;

s of wherea , through the whole this scene , by a gross blunder , she is confounded with the former

of . queen , Anne Bohemia A similar instance Of

a Sh aks eare C the historic l accuracy of p , ompared with th e writers of some of the plays that he re

I Steev en s touched , occurs , told , in the second

of part Henry the Sixth , the greater part of which

of is genuine . There , the hereditary title the

D uke of York is stated with the greatest per s icuit p y ; whereas , in the ﬁrst part , which the ablest critics have unanimously rejected , as not

containing a single line from the pen of Shaks

of peare , the claim of the House March , through

of which that York was derived, is enveloped in

confusion and absurdity . h Kemble seemed to t ink lightly of Warburton ,

Sh ak s as a commentator on peare. On e of his ” emendations is , however, said he, singularly

r happy , and the ﬁ st time I played King John

I adopted it , but I got hissed for it . It is in the

’ a of a p ssage John s di logue with Hubert . The

E r 106 TH CLUBS o LONDON . is rebuking Caliban for his laziness - in bringing in wood .

Fill all th y b on es w ith aches make th ee roar

&c . &c . &c .

n I am aware that , in detaili g these conversa tions , I am digressing for a while from the Beef

of Steak Club ; but the remarks an intelligent , and

u l m w deﬁ nat ra ly strong ind, hich supplied the cien cies of an unsystematic education , by its native stores of thinking , and augmented them — by constant study and observation the remarks ,

w h o con too , of a man , , next to Garrick , has tributed more to raise the profession of the stage to the honourable estimation which it now en

‘ of - joys , by the correctness his life; and the i l d ligence with which he cu tivated his art , than

’ or any other player , ancient modern , will , I trust , obtaimpardon for the digression . The moments we are ermitted to ass with the good and the ' c p p

n great , i the respective generations which they

l re to f il ustrate , a o leeting and transitory not to

w n to a w e w render, us illi g ret in , if can , hat are - THE BEEF STEAK C LUB . 107 less fleeting and evanescent; the memorials of their good sense , and their virtues . Kemble amused me much at this interview (it was the last) with an account of the getting up of

’ Vortigern , one of young Ireland s forgeries . I ” constantly refused , he said , to look at the ma n us cripts which old Ireland exhibited in Norfolk

. Mr . Mal Street one , in a few minutes conver sation , convinced me that they were spurious , and the fraud betrayed itself in the endless con tradiction s , into which the fellow , who pretended to have brought them into light, was betrayed , when he ﬁrst began to accou nt for their coming

’ con into his possession . At Sheridan s desire, I sented to play it ; but Mrs . Siddons positively h l refused to enter , as she expressed erse f, into so abominable a conspiracy against the memory of

Shaks peare . Sheridan thought that it would be

for good the treasury , and , that public curiosity, or rather the pride of hav in g to decide whether a

w as b Sh aks eare piece actually written or not , y u p '

ll on e would ﬁ the house for night , with . even ‘ m for ou kn ow y w ell , K advanced p rices ; ery‘ y j e :

’ ‘ n s ble , said he , that an Englishma consider 1 8 0 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

u Sh aks eare of himself as good a j dge of p , as his

’ of pint porter . He was right . Well . The

o r w v e ﬂo ed . house in all parts The ﬁrst act , much of the second, and a few Speeches in the

of n third, were endured . Some murmur disco

tent began , however , to be heard . Give the .

’ thing a fair trial , roared out Humphrey Sturt

- from the stage box , with the intonation of a bull .

Such an appeal to the equity of the audience , and f from such brazen beings , had some ef ect , and

to the storm was lulled ; but, from time time , there were deep growls of disapprobation from

' t d ifferent quarters . A line occurred in th e p ar I

of had to act, which they accuse me having pro n oun ced with a malicious emphasis , to assist the dow n fal of the piece . It was this

’ I w ould this s olemn mockery w ere o er

The allusion was too obvious not to be caught in a moment by an -audience wearied to death with what they had already gone through , but one half of whom were afraid Of being too hasty in the con demn ation of a play , which , if it really was Shak

1 10 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

ai e or t l to all succ eding ages , remain a recorded monument of the dramatic taste and critical dis

cern men t of E ngland at the close of the eighteenth

’ for old Irel an d h e n ev er f or av e century . As i g l I Phi limore or . either myself He said , that if

had bon d j ide intended to let the piece have a

- chance , I should not, as stage manager, have given such a character as Vortigern to Philli

more ; for that h is nose was long enough to — ’ d n the ﬁnest play Sh aks peare ever wrote . The

younger Ireland, the fabricator of the fraud , was

n on e of u all this time sitti g in the pper boxes ,

of apparently unconcerned , by the side Polly

or n Thompson , some such personage ; the perso , from whose head, as he afterwards confessed , he had cut the identical lock of hair exhibited at the

’ elder ' Ir lan d l o k e s o f rs . , as a from the head o M

Anna Hath erew aye (the lady to whom Sh aks peare is said to have been betrothed) and which b e pre tended to have found amongst the manuscripts ,

’ with this memorandum inscribed in Sh aks peare s

- n i tres s e hand writi g . This is the haire of M s h ’ ” Hat erew a e . Anne y The true believers , Kem ble continued , absolutely adored this precious ‘ ‘ TH E EE - B F STEAK CLUB . 1 1 1

relic , which was religiously enshrined in a gilt

box , lest a Single hair Should be lost by profane handling .

On the Saturday following , Kemble dined as a

- a visitor at the Beef Ste ks . We resumed insen

s ibl y our last conversation , which led us , naturally

a enough , to the proneness almost peculi r to our

t nation , but most eminen ly so to its metropolis , of swallowing the grossest extravagances , and that too with an appetite and power of digestion that kept pace with their absurdity . The young

all Roscius , we agreed , was a recollection that should call shame to the cheek of modern Lon don . Whatever may be the share of honour due

n or to the art of a player, neither at Paris , at

n or Madrid, at Petersburgh no , nor any where,

- e of but in the mid h art cockneyism , would it have been so insulted, as it was by the homage — which the tow n lavished upon an automaton a mere child, whose excellence , estimated at the

e n high st , transcended other children o ly in a

u riper f lness Of intonation , and a somewhat

r f o n . g eater command gesticulatio The whole ,

d “ as Arnold aptly observe , was a most unnatural 1 1 2 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

and forced process not unlike , he said , hatching

’

. ff eggs by steam But it s ulterior e ects , Kemble remarked , were almost death itself to the art . If crowded theatres , containing within their circle all that could be assembled of fashion , elegance ,

as wit, beauty , t te , showered applauses upon chil dren who ought to have been at school , could m due encourage ent be expected by him , who , through long and patient study, was working out his title to public approbation ; by him , who ,

a d after a slow n laborious progression , had ar

at - rived pre eminence in a calling , that demanded, perhaps, more than any other , the ripening aid of experience to guide and reg ulate the powers which it called into exercise What an insane spectacle did it exhibit of a polished nation

claiming to take the lead in the protection of the liberal arts—its largest theatre crammed to ff su ocation , to gape upon a boy , strutting as an

or - if emperor, kneeling as a lover ; and, as this

as of w not enough , the journals the following

. day exhausting al l their English for phras es of

panegyric , to describe the Spirited conception ,

of the truth and accuracy delineation , with which

TH E CLUBS O F LON DON .

composure , who had been deputed by the Drury

m n E Lane Com ittee to go dow to xeter , where

for i Kean was playing , the purpose of w tnessing

r n his perfo ma ce ; and who , having seen him in

R h im for ichard, had engaged that theatre with

' ‘ out A t if further ceremony . length , as teazed and goaded with the unmeasured encomiums

on e I s u s ect of which some , for the sake, as p ,

out drawing Kemble upon the subject , was lavish

t on l or a ing upon Kean , John declared himﬁ y f bur e l tta . al out of Riv ry , he remarked , was the question ; he himself was n ow retired fromthe

an d a stage , he was only spe king upon a mere

o point f taste . He thought that in a very short time the poor fellow woul d break dow n beneath

of the weight his reputation . His reception , he

a too s id , was overwhelmingly ﬂattering to allow

' him time to reﬂect on th e precarious breath of popular applause, so as to prepare for a sudden shifting of the gale ; and he would thus be kept

' a nor in a w lk , for which neither previous study ,

or natural acquired faculties had ﬁtted him , only to be driven fromit when his incapacity to tread in it should be become more apparent . Whereas , - THE BEE F STEAK CLUB . 1 15

‘ al for he observed, a re ly excellent artist, Talma, instance,lay safely moored in the public appro

e u u of b tio , and sec re from the vicissitudes taste because the admiration he excited would stand

s t of n n o the te reaso , and , therefore , ran risk of

' You a sudden and capricious diminution . will ” rO h etic see , said John , with something like a p p

as gravity , that the actor we are now canv sing , will be driven to the trick of withdrawing to

A l e of merica , as a frai b auty the lobby ﬁnds it expedient t o withdraw her charms from it for a i wh le , to reappear when her face has been long

. l enough forgotten The popu arity of Kean was , d . l he continued , ra ically unsound The ga leries ,

th e of th e h oUs e w as in his case , led rest and it his by- play (w hich ,if not sparingly and judiciously

d e f n use , was contemptibl buf oo ery) that chieﬂy delighted them . The last time Kemble had dined with us at the

- Beef Steaks , was when his friend the late Duke

‘ f Norfolk w as o . present The place , the chair formerly occupied by his Grace, were so many

a on e links in a Chain of greeable association , to

’ him SO l d to who remembered we l, and love I 2 1 16 THE CLUBS O F LONDON . cherish that remembrance ; for Kemble had re ceiv ed many substantial kindnesses from his

e. Grac John told us that he had seldom , in the

of of whole course his life , erred on the side con

’ i ial v v intemperance but in his Grace s society, whose powers of carrying Off a great quantity of an d of wine , the charms whose conversation ,

(seducing others into the same excess , ) were , he

man —a n said, never equalled by , long sitti g seemed miraculously to comprise itself into a

most inconsiderable space ; and it was imp os

w h o sible , even for those practised the austerest

to . temperance , to wish get away

It sometimes happened, at the close of the even

ing , that the Duke , without exhibiting any symptom

of inebriety , became immoveable in his chair , as

o if deprived f all muscul ar volition . He would

then request the h ell to be rang three times ;

this was a Signal for bringing in a kind of easy

of - litter , consisting four equi distant belts , fastened

b on e together y a transverse , which four domes

tics placed under him , and thus removed his

u enormous b lk , with a gentle swinging motion ,

. U up to his apartment pon these occasions , the

1 18 TH E o r CLUBS LONDON .

feelingly . But is it possible , that the greatest

of u peer the realm , l xuriating amidst the prodiga lities of th e fortune , should lament distress which he does n ot relieve The empty phrase of bene — v olen ce the mere breath and vapour of generou s sentiment become n o man ; they certainly are unworthy of your Grace . Providence , my Lord

a Duke , has placed you in station , where the wish

do . to good and the doing it , are the same thing

u w ff or An ann ity from your overﬂo ing co ers , a m d S all nook of land , clipped from your unboun ed domains , would scarcely be felt by your Grace

ou but y would be repaid , my Lord , with usury — — with tears Of grateful joy with prayers warm from a bosom , which your bounty will have ren " dered happy .

’ Such was the substance of Kemble s

a harangue . Jack B nnister used to relate the

n incident , by i geniously putting the speech

n or into bla k verse , rather a species of K ’ numerous prose , into which emble s phra

e l s o ogy naturally fell when he was highly ani ~

m . ated But, however expressed, it produced its F ff . or t e ect , though the Duke ( h e night was - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 1 19

pretty far gone , and several bottles had been

n a emptied , ) said nothi g at the time , but st red with some as tonishment at so unexpected a lec ture n ot a month elapsed before Charles Morris w as t snugly inves ed in the beautiful retreat, that sequestered house , and the few acres smiling h u to a . aro nd it, which I ave alluded lready This , with a few other instances of similar benevolence , serve as - pleasing contrasts to the general tenour of ll a character which , if nicely inspected , wi be found almost uniformly selﬁsh and sensual ; but they are of too unfrequent recurren ce to redeem it . Perhaps no man , except Charles the Second ,

’ of ff k procreative memory , di used his Ma er s

” * imag e through the land more than his late

Nor Grace of Norfolk . was he fastidiously deli cate as to the moulds which fashioned his progeny .

f a for Most o them are rem rkable a gipsy tint . and Jewish conﬁrmation of visage . To some of

t al his na ur children he was kind , but to others

‘ n he gave no aid or protection . O e of them who had received little or nothing from him in his

’ o l D ryden s Ab s al oman d Achit ph e . 12 0 THE CLUBS OF LON DO N .

- m life ti e , but had been taught to expect some

at thing his death , vented his disappointment in this epitaph

’ On N orfo k s tom in s c i e t is aca d l b r b h pl r ,

He ived a eas t and died a ack ua d. l b , bl g r

‘ YOu would hardly expect, in a Society con

of -ﬁv e sisting twenty persons , that the conversa tion of all Should be equal ly sprightly or intel

’ li en t r g ; but in this , as in other clubs , the e is a class of indirect contributors to the general festi v it n y, who ﬁll what may be termed useful u der parts at the board ; like the Greek particles that , unmeaning as they appear , have their due share in the harmony and intonation of a Greek sen

Of old tence . this class is Walsh , who , from havin g sung these last thirty years an absurd song

n about lambkins playi g , has the prescriptive

“ title of Gentle Shepherd . Perhaps no man in the Sublime Society will make a chasm in it more

. difﬁcult to ﬁll up . Walsh is no slight adept in that semi - buffoonery s o often observable in men of d w h o a certain stan ing , are unwilling to forego the place they still retain in the societies of

12 2 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

would have been madness for him to have aspired

or of justled, or kicked, pushed along by a series

co - mere fortuitous impulses , blindly operating to

his advancement . Walsh is habitually a legatee .

of w r In some corner a ill , there is almost su e to

n ot lurk a snug little bequest to Walsh , indeed ,

to n any considerable extent , but constituti g in the

h is . aggregate , a handsome addition to substance

of The Duke Norfolk, the late Sir John Aubrey , are far from being the only names that have in this way embalmed themselves in Walsh ’s remem brance .

This venerable Beef- Steaker lived through a

of great portion the last century, and has dipped deeply into the present . It is a remarkable , and

of a meritorious part his biography, that he began life in the humble condition Of a domestic in the

’ Ch es terﬁeld s t celebrated Lord family , and hat he

' e th e accompani d , in capacity of a valet , that noble

’

a s on . Stanh o e on man s natural , Mr Philip p , his tour through the continent . His name occurs

’ s on once or twice in the Earl s Letters to his . He was afterwards a messenger in the Secretary

' O and of State s fﬁce , at last a Commissioner in - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 12 3

- n ot the Custom House . It was certainly the ad vantages of a liberal education that gave the

’ colour to Walsh s fortunes ; nor has the circum

stance been the slightest impediment to him .

The late Sir Charles Bamfylde u sed to tell a story

of Walsh with great glee . They who are versed in

of the criminal incidents about forty years ago , must w ell remember the celebrated case of Captain

D on ellan w h o for of , was executed the murder

D on e l Sir Theodosius Boughton . l an had been

of u a man gaiety and expense abo t town . and

aff . h ad un for was embarrassed in his airs He , tun atel s on y, a considerable rever ion expectant the baronet’s demise and this circumstance pro

bably urged him to the deed for which he suff ered;

u n of Sir Theodosi s was in a la guid state health ,

D on ellan and , who assiduouslyattended his sick l Chamber , frequent y gave him his medicines , and ,

n on e of o these occasions , contrived to administer

of - to him a phial distilled laurel leaf, a most deadly

poison , which he had been seen to prepare . The

’

poor young man swallowed the whole contents ,

. Th ou h th ere u d and expired in a few hours g __ co l

’ n o of Don ellan s be doubt guilt , it was a case of 1 F 24 THE CLUBS O LONDON .

us ice the nicest circumstantial evidence ; and Mr . J t

Buller , who tried it , is supposed to have pressed it too hardly against the prisoner . Walsh had

Don ellan been well acquainted with , and at his

n n request went dow to his trial , and atte ded him

' with great kindness from the goal to the Court

House . As Sir Charles was wont to relate the

l to anecdote , Walsh placed himse f close the bar , where his unhappy friend was placed , and began explaining to him some of the ordinary solemnities

: O that take place on these ccasions . There,

’ Don ellan ! , said Walsh , there s the jury There ! is the judge If you are found guilty , he will put

ou . on a black cap , and sentence y to be hanged

But it all depends on the jury ; for they have only

on e mon os lla ble to say single y , Guilty or not

Guilty , and you will be hanged, or set at liberty .

Sir Charles was fond Of relating , probably of

e of - inv nting , these kind slip slops, and fastening

them upon poor Wal sh . I heard Bamfylde once

_say , that Walsh was seated at a dinner , when a John Dory was served up Upon which he turned

w h o round to a lady was next to him, and asked

b otan ical of her , if she could tell him the name

1 2 6 THE CLUBS O F LONDO N .

would have excluded him from much lower asso

ciation s than those which he frequented . No

man was more versed in this important science . Ulysses himself did not better deserve the epithet

’ of w oAur pon og.

O of pposite to the chair the president , sits

Harry Stephenson . His seat is prescriptive , for

he is our secretary . He is a casual descendant

o u of fr m the late D ke Norfolk , who educated him

’ of to the law but that coyest coquettes , probably, because she was not wooed with sufﬁcient ardour ,

is has scarcely deigned to smile upon him . It difﬁc ult to pass him by ; but to paint him as he

e of is , would xceed the powers any pencil , and would demand more varieties of tint, and stronger

a contrasts Of colouring , than verb l description can

on its summ to aid .

Quo ten eam nodo mutan tem Protea vul tus

e He is a mass of xcellent endowments , each

d - contraste with its corresponding fault . H e

’ w Chieﬂ for is , ho ever, y remarkable carrying the

Beef- Steak style, of w hich the legitimate scope is most ample, to its farthest extreme of licen - THE BEEF STEAK CLUB . 12 7 m a . tious n es s . He approaches lmost to Cynicis ” i It is a cur , said Cobb , that w ll worry when he

w orr h e . can , but if he cannot y will bark H e spares no man ; and he is of th e greatest use in

or for being set at new members , candidates a for if dmission ; his attack , _ patiently borne , is the surest criterion of the most passive and

- serene temperament , that the Beef Steaks re quires in its members . Introduced by the Duke of Norfolk into the Society, at a somewhat earlier

al of i age than usu , he soon became a sort spo led

k in child there ; and , by a mista e incident to l experience , imagined that the indu gence shown to youthful petulance, was th e homage paid to

of . superiority talent In this he is, indeed, far

from being deﬁcient but it is of the kind which

Nature serves out In wholesale qu antities a toler

- da a i ably sound , but every y underst nd ng .

It is n o easy matter to brush Harry Stephen

son off when he assails you ; for it is an insect that makes up for feebleness of sting by reitera

of for s tion attack, and is , that rea on , rather

u Harr oars en es s troublesome than hurtf l . y’s p on on e occasion lost an excellent and worthy 12 8 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

—an of member eminent physician , and a man great classical erudition . In a gross perversion

mis con ce of the humour of the Society , and a p tion equally gross of the convivial habits of

ave h im polished life, Harry g the odious and

' annoying name Of Doctor E the most hateful combination of letters that has ever been chalked on the walls of London and her suburbs . The adhesiveness of any nickname is proverbial . The

mortiﬁ cation . was too much , and he left us Yet,

n o in many other respects , Harry is by means

of wanting in discretion . In the household the

for Duke of Sussex , where he has some years

of acted as comptroller , he has been incalculable service to his royal friend - and mas ter ; having t nearly, if not wholly , liberated that excellen Prince from the encumbrances into which a

u x genero s nature , and the e igencies of his elevated rank, had unwarily, and almost necessarily, mis led him . Well managed by others , or inﬂuenced

- by a sterner self restraint , Harry would be a

of most invaluable member our board . As it is, his place could not be supplied.

F a re rom these portraitures, which , and must

130 THE CLUBS , O F LONDON

rash sentence of a world , that always misjudges t hose whom it does not know . No appeal lay from it but to the inward suffrage of his own

to bosom , and the very few friends who were

of acquainted with that tale of sorrow . It is the late Lord Viscount Kirkwall that I Speak . H e

on e assured me evening , that the few happy mo e e ments that his fat S emed not to grudge him .

‘ - wer e passed with us at theBeef Steaks .

In this class , also , may be placed Rowland Ste h en s on . p , the most respectable of bankers Never did a clearer head, and abetter heart , meet together nor does the heart wait, as it does , in ordinary a cases , a cold and calculating lesson from the he d but th e most Spontaneous and generous Impulses

on e of the , are ratiﬁed by the cool decisions of ” “ the other Never, as Hamlet says , were

the blood and judgment so well commingled . A t the same table , too , sits Dennison , the worthy

of u member for Surrey ; a man cheerf l gravity ,

' an excellent companion , admirable as a Beef

Steaker , and amiable in every other human rela

o b tion . Commerce never boasted f a righter

ornament . Well might she silence the foolish - THE BEE F STEAK CLUB . 131

of thes e gabble , who think that commerce implies ,

or i necessarily , narrowness of heart , a sord d self

or ff centered appetency of gain , an indi erence to the calamities and sufferings of the whole race — of man by bringing forward to shame and refute

to it , such a man as Dennison . Nor is he less

t ou be venerated in the o her aspect , in which y may contemplate his character -that of the country gentleman the kind and liberal landlord the upright magistrate ; the lover and protector

Of the cottager and the peasant

S S , uch is this renowned and anmcient ociety whose elements are so curiously ixed, and in the nicest and most exquisite proportions ; inter

of posing amidst the vexations existence , the

of dis feverish pursuits ambition , and its fretful

of lea appointments , a few hours unmingled p s aa n ce for , the heart to repose from its burdens ,

to out and pour , amidst wine , and song, and

th e f of merriment , unrebuked , unfettered ef usions

u its gladness . S ch a Society, of high antiquity, compared with the thousand ephemeral combina tions called CLUBS , unites , within itself the per

etual p animation of youth , and the adult strength K 2 132 H E T CLUBS OF LONDON .

“ ’ of w i th e near a century s gro th . The h larity ,

of i wit, the mirth each succeed ng generation , are the seeds of its conservation . I shall con elude my rapid, but I trust authentic , Sketch of it , with an aspiration not unbecoming the piety of of — P P one its children . ESTO ER ETUA

134 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

a on e f iling , because every is attempting ; in a

of - word , so little the Club feeling, which demands the postponemen t of our petty self- loves to the general gratiﬁcation , and strikes only in unison with the feelings and sentiments of all

Literary Societies , therefore , had long sick

‘ ened me , and I had resolved to keep clear Of them for the residue of my natural life . But see the inanity of human vows ! I was strongly urged

al not long ago by a friend, whom I highly v ue , to dine with him at a certain Club , consisting

of of only literary men , each whom had written

an d - volumes, had been registered high in the

in tellec tablets of fame , and he promised me an f tual treat o the highest order . Though long habits of thinking had made me difﬁden t of such

a n in m o an d d i ties , a weak oment I c nsented, a a ccompanied him , th t very day , to the Thatched

’ House iri St . James s Street .

r for Gladly would I have etracted , it shortly

a to on afterw rds recurred me, that my own dinner,

da w as t n that y, a selec miscella y, precisely corre s on din m p g to y most cherished likings . In her

amiable reminiscenc e of all that ministers to my Y LITERAR CLUBS . 135

alf comforts, my better h , having noted on my lips sundr y approving ejaculations at one or two

dishes, dressed in superior taste, at some tables where we had lately dined, had enlarged her neat e and frugal repast , by an innoc nt plagiary from what she had observed me to admire . Besides ,

u e I could always , in my own ho se , r ly on ﬁnding

S of a a nug bottle ple sing Port , a tranquillizing a refuge from moderate dinner , but a most exquisite m consu mation to a good one . It was that very wine which used to inspire my friend, Jack Tay

a Inv eni lor , with the same invari ble bad pun ,

a m t or t o . p , as he put out his hand the decanter

for r of a As the sens ual pa t the literary b nquet,

I had some sinister forebodings of its turning out a woeful contrast to the nicely elaborated delica

‘ cies , and the honest Port , that awaited me at

. n ot home Nor was I wrong . Willis did think it became him to furnish a very good dinner to e t gentlemen , whos won ed diet is with the Gods .

It seemed to consist of mémorandums Of several b - e a y gone ent rtainments , w rmed up again; and e n retaining the s mbla ce of what they once were, though their ﬂavour and quality had walked 136 C BS THE LU OF LONDON .

‘ ’ ' oﬁ . for quietly in the process As the wine ,

al he gave us the inferior qu ity which , I am told , he keeps expressly for such parties , and e which those who frequ nt his house, have chris

‘ ’ ”

s . tened the Philo opher s Port It had , to say th et ruth , a strong dash of philosophy or some

in thing else it .

An d who can blame him for not dispensing his best wines to palates too unpractised to give ” e ir ? th m homage d e Then it was , that my m m little do estic preparations , and , y own bottle of w quiet Port, from hich I had been so wanton

r recolle a ecreant , rushed upbraidingly on my c tion But stop till the cloth is removed . Then for the corruscation an d play of intellect ; the electric ﬂash of wit ; the condensed s ententious n wisdom those gentle and fertilizi g distillations ,

a - th t fall from the lips of highly gifted men , when

' ' they paus e from their severer studies in pleasing

‘ converse with congenial spirits . Nothing of

- a this . The master minds of the age t lked , de

an d w bated, prosed but not a ord was uttered " e that was worth r membering . It might be a

' s of it w as for fea t reason , but ﬁt only a Barme

1 8 r 3 THE CLUBS o LONDON .

I forget the panic I felt when a privileged proser , preparing to explain that most delightful question — — the currency said, he must be permitted to consider it upon three distinct grounds . But ,

! did for God help him he not stop permission , an d off he set with the most complete dulness prepense . What could be more appalling than

’ the certainty of having one s attention lugged along by a true - bred proser going over his three grounds ? It is like travellin g in an open coun

- try, and seeing the mile stones ranged in a straight line before you , without a hedge or a turning to cheat you of the distance .

of This literature ours , that we are , perhaps ,

of justly proud , much as it may improve and

of n embellish the general society ma kind , does not act so propitiously upon our little coteries

a our and, when the mania bre ks into family cir

u il cles , it substit tes for the sm ing household charities, the graceful harmonies that render i private l fe sweet and wholesome , a thousand

' pedantries and aﬂectation s I am a little sore on

. F or w hils t th e this point , smack of the philo

et sophic Port was y recent in my mouth , and the LITERARY CLUBS . 139

din of the prosing still buzzing in my ear , I was hooked into an engagement; which I would wil lin l e g y have d clined, could I have made head

of against the tyranny etiquette , which was quite

“ a of a gainst me, and the decision a c binet council , where my wife and daughters had al ready deter mined the point . It was to dine with a literary n ba ker in the city , and his no less literary wife ; n and , as a whet for the i tellectual treat in

for reserve me , care was taken to let me know that the lady h ad written an article upon political

on e of i . economy in the Rev ews At dinner , besides the hig hly tal en ted (if I must use the

or barbarism) host and hostess , were three four of -b e - - if - - those would clever they could men , as

C l Jeremy Bentham would a l them , who have

Scraped together a good deal of literary jargon , by

of means lectures, institutes , reviews , and other kinds of machinery for the abridgment of mental labour ; and who , by eternal ﬂuttering about a

Blue Woman , are the main contributors , next to

ow n to her vanity , the making her a ﬁnished, i ﬂable n e . i bore As for the d nner itself, it neither ‘ ’ n' displayed vulgar plenty , nor elega t tenuity ; a 140 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

matter which , like Henry VII when they voted fﬁ him an insu cient subsidy, I rather noted, to

’ use Lord Bacon s phrase , than liked .

But the conversation was disgusting beyond measure for it began with a satirical mention of on e or two of my dearest friends , whom I knew l ; to be highly gifted , and in point of intellectua elevation , lifted immeasurably above the loftiest ken of the gabbling coxcombs , who presumed to sit in judgment upon them . ” “ dis a Yes , said the lady, I was sadly p l pointed with H I cOu d not draw him out . t I tried him upon twenty opics, but he was incor rigibly stupid . ” Stupid ! I murrn ured to myself ; but con Oh tempt came to the relief Of my indignation .

- t the cross purposes , the contradictions in his l ! carniva of life That your palmy, luxuriant

al H u genius , my v ued your wakef l , exquisite

n t se se of all that is fair and good, vibrating rem ” blin l n g y on the nerve , where ago y is born

' your unuttered, because unutterable loathing

al of all deformity in mor s , or in letters , and especially of the ca nt and impudence of female

142 THE CLUBS OF LONDON . she did not seem deeply versed in the cal culations of F reret Newton , or , but went on about Apollo

Rh odius nius , whose poem she had been read ing , but did not say whether in the original , or

’ F aw kes s i in translation , leav ng us to infer that

Sh e . th e had read the author in Greek By way, was it not Rogers , or some other incorrigible m punster , who , when so e Scotch people were

‘ ’ M A dam s extolling roads , and exclaiming , that " v on e had he li ed in of the ancient republics ,

u public honours wo ld have been decreed to him , “ 51 i remarked: Yes, they would have called him Apollonius of Rhodes .

When I got home , I swore (the oath is regis tered in heaven) that I would never again Sit

i . ff ul down w th a Blue Woman It may be di ic t,

I said , to get a camel through the eye of a needle , but it shall be just as difﬁcult to ' get me into

‘ h readn eedle T . Street again My girls, who had watched the symptoms of disgust and wearisome ness which I had brought back with me, asked me how I coul d be insensible to the charms of

’ S - M rs . conversation 2 I felt the subject at

my heart . They had been well educated within LITERARY CLUBS . 143

the range of female acquirements . I trembled lest their sound and unperverted understandings shoul d be tinged with the fainted hues of bluism that, tempted by such examples , they should over leap the decent boundary that reason , custom , and good taste have prescribed to the intellectual

as irin s Of . . p g their sex Mrs therefore , served me for a sort of clinical lecture .

in ex e I am not surprised , I said , that your p rien ce should have led you to imagine the homage

h e to S apparently receives , be the tribute justly

levied by her genius and learning . I shall shock

n Sh e you by sayi g, that is deﬁcient in both . In

a her youth , she had a natur l smartness , like Miss

’ ’ - s i Never out in Sw ft s Polite Conversations . But

’ ome that is all . It must have been s demon that

w to for belle- 65 67273 hispered her , Set up a 1 Her

reading is slight and desultory . You know not yet the facility with which false literary pretences

das hin Off - of pass Off . A g hand habit interposing

on e an Opinion ev ry topic, a promptitude in gathering up the Odds and ends Of other people ’s

h e1 ow n — remarks , and hazarding them as _ this

0 on e s went a great way to establish her . N que 144 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

tions female pretensions ; they are conceded by r l you sex through ignorance , and from ga lantry

ur . by o s She has , indeed, some dexterity in

of h er escaping out almost perpetual blunders ,

Mal Mrs . b ut and apropisms ; yet , what the grossest ﬂattery Should have cradled her in these l strange iterary illusions , and seduced her into her

ridiculous and insane conviction of her ow n eru

? u dition I am o t of patience . Whip me these

accursed ﬂatterers

Y h ad et , if she had certiﬁcates from every uni versity in Europe , I should be slow to admit her proud pretensions to taste and genius ; for she

i a of has no heart , unless that cold, w thered p rt

on e her anatomy be called , which throbs but for herself ; which is stone - dead to every other affec tion which never knew a charity , but that which

n or ~ev er both begins and ends at home , beat one pulsation the quicker for sufferings that did not

aﬂect . herself Is it a paradox , that good feeling and genius are inseparable ? No : to divorce them is SO far forth to repeal the ordin ances of

God .

r I hate the pedant y of deﬁnition , and who yet

146 or THE CLUBS LON DON . tion ed wer e n ot to be confounded with the cox

in s combs arcenet , who enter into discussions

n ot l they do understand, hand e words they can n ot al of pronounce , and t k books , of which they l have read no more than the titles . The ate

d . Mrs . Barbaul a venerable , L dy Dacre , Mrs

— di t i . to Tighe, Mrs Hemans these s ingu shed women , he must be a blind stickler for male pre

o w h o t d r gative , would deny their undoub e supe

of . riority . I have been in the society each They entered with ease and unaffected grace into the casual conversation Of the moment ; made their

' s im icit n othin for remarks with my, and said g the sake of effect ; Showing the utmost toleranc e to

and u i others , and with Sweet enco raging sm les helping on the young and the diﬂiden t . Real knowledge fed the thoughts and th e fancies of

e . . th se ladies They were never like Mrs l driven to the desperate resource of reading in the

an d morning , then forcing on the topic in the

evening . Here e nded my lecture . But if the above be the character of ma ny of

e of ll the literary me tings the day , it wi not apply

to all ; for no doubt there are Clubs thus styled LITE RARY CLUBS . 147

w in London , and elsewhere, here the love and

w i r knowledge of letters , isdom qual ﬁed by u banity,

n e and lear ing enliven d by the gaiety of social mirth ,

e to ar be recognised in their best aspects . O n e

such is in my recollection at this moment ; but

w as a it not situated in London ; and, I fe r, I

al of sh l contradict the title the present work , even

f l s to . by a brie al u ion a country Club Yet , as a sketch of the one in question would include a few

reminiscences of tw o or three characters of cele

brit t to y in litera ure, I am tempted proceed , and

’ trust to my reader s pardon for the digression .

Never shall I forget the Hole - ln - the -Wall

l i -ﬁv e C ub , which ﬂour shed some twenty years

ago , at Norwich ; a place , perhaps , of all our

metro o country towns , the least corrupted by p

u litan inf sions , because it is situated within an

i a e to con angle of the sl nd , and , b ing no outlet

tin ental travellers , is not overrun by the crowds,

whom Lon don is constantly s ending forth on

s Of or their variou schemes curiosity pleasure .

cockn ies Yet, while it is uninfested by , it has the advantage also of nurturing within its bosom

many of th e pleasantest groupes and as sociations L 2 148 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

u with which h man life is enlivened . The clergy are a tolerant , enlightened , and agreeable body ; an d i t the Close , wh ch is scarcely enanted but by

i of cler cal characters , is a sort miniature Athens ,

n where, in your morni g walks , you may imbibe

of the wisdom the Stoa , or indulge in the splendid dreams of the academy ; for there is always some

met lettered and classic companion to be with ,

to u who will be glad impart to you , though nos l ten tatious th e . y, fruit of his lucubrations

of Many Of the hearty, social usages our fore l fathers , have long been hermetically sea ed up at u Norwich , and kept nmixed with the baser mat

w a ter , hich , in other places , foppery and f shion

have infused . The native genuine humour

' h b rook un of England ﬂows t ere , as a living , stained and pure . It is not relucta ntly force d to play through artiﬁcial pipes and conductors ; an advantage in the moral picturesque, not inferior to that which the poet has so delightfully depic tured in the natural

Quan to p raes tautius es s et

N n a uz’e iridi Si ma in e cl uderet un das ume q , v rg ,

He a nec in enuum viol arent ma mo a to h um. rb , g r r p

15 0 THE CLUBS O F LON DON .

have made more of him , had he been an anato

al . mic preparation He handed him about , so as to enable every on e to enter thoroughl y into the most entertaining of living anomalies ; and in such a wise , as to amuse and delight the man himself with the good - humoured exhibition of his own absurdities .

O n e of these absurdities was this . In middle a e am g , the creature was seized with the strange bition of d stu ying modern history , and descending

of the stream events to his own time . For this purpose , he determined never to look at the

newspapers of the day , in order , as he said, to have the complete political concatenation un broken , in

One hour in t e da all his memory . h y was that

he could devote to his study ; but so regular and

habitual was it, that twenty years had made him

a tolerable proﬁcient in that part of history which

w as preceded the French revolution . He , how l ever , with all his industry , severa years behind

of for a the march events ; , at the bre king out

Of h t at revolution , he had got no farther than

the seven years war ; and, when the attention of

all mankind hung fearfully suspended on the pro 1 1 LITERARY CLUBS . 5

of Clairfait . Dumourier gress , and the success of , he w as lingering in the camp of the great F re

l i ertur derick , and fo lowing , w th breathless p bation - , the fortunes of the high minded Maria

Theresa . Even so late as the disastrous day of

U - lm , when every eye was ﬁxed on the cloud

e of that blacken d the horizon human freedom , all his regrets and sympathies were centered in

l n the disgraceful treaty of C os ters ev e .

But some un deﬁn able fatality seemed to hang ’ — over our worthy citizen s reading for he un

consciously imbibe d the popular passions of the

d e u s o perio he was p r sing ; that , historically

speaking, he was a staunch Whig , and a hot

n of patriot , in the i tensity those design ations ;

In whilst actual practice , he was the most thorough

- - of going Of the Church and King men the day ,

and ov erﬂow ed with the frothy fervour of the

r obt usive and troublesome loyalty, which was

for then in such fashion . Thus , he was ready

ob v the meanest j to ser e the very King, whom he had perhaps reviled and detested in the letters J of unius ; and after raving, in his historical hour, " " with Wilkes and Beckford agams t gen eral war 1 5 2 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

rants , he was for committing to prison every

or drunken fellow who might abuse the church , d—n c the King over his porter , and en ouraging ,

not if cheering, the loyal mobs that were pul ling down the houses of republicans and dis t sen ers .

This strange combination of retrospec tive pa triotis m , and actual servility,furnished Sayers with abundant satire at the expense of the alder

. u man In allusion to the ho r, which this worthy

. a devoted in e ch day to his studies, he remarked,

that Mr . Alderman B was right as far as he

had read ; but his intell ect had gone down at that

point , and like a watch that had stopped , became

- right only once in twenty four hours . Amongst other eccentric frequenters of the

B k e in one of his e acts s eems to e h ad ur , arly tr , hav a te We are e n co t in view this s ort of ch rac r . v ry u rrup

en i ten d ud es of as t es e e n o and tolerably l gh e j g p ag , wh r

as s ion s decei e an d w o e t in of ci c ms ances p v , the h l ra r u t ,

t i in c us to th e t a ica ent is s et fo fromth e r ﬂ g a e r g l ev , be re

s Few are th e a tis ans of de afted t nn and to u . p r p yra y ;

W i on the us in es s of an und ed ea s a o is b e a h g b h r y r g , very con s is tent w ith every advan tage Of p res ent s ervi ” lit Thou hts on the Pres ent D is con tents 1 68. y . g , 7

154 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

l had been put on care essly , and the animal having disengaged it from his head , began to brouze very f com ortably, and at his leisure . In the mean

l r while , Linley wa ked on , the b idle still on his

- f arm , to a turnpike gate , where he Of ered the usual payment for his horse . The man seeing e l no hors , but only a brid e , began staring at the

for ma poor canon , whom he took a niac and it

uff was several minutes , before Linley would s er

s him elf to be convinced, that it was only a bridle

had that he in his hand , and that his horse was not following .

al * In his more vern days , Hudson Gurney was wont to solace himself in the snug Club - Room of

- in - - al to the Hole the W l , and bask in the sun

’ shine Of Sayers S festive conversation . His own

ar he t , too , at that time, beat high with frolic

’ and hilarity . Hudson s was , from his earliest

e . prime , a clear , distinguishing intell ct He was

- his an elegantly read man ; and poetry, no frag ment of which is in print , except his admirable trans lation of the Cupid and Psyche Of Apuleius

M P for N w o I s e of Wi t . . . e p rt, l gh LITERARY CLUBS . 1 55

i ' into Engl sh verse , was hy no means of a se

n d r k c o a y ind . Nursed from childhood in the lap of o Fortune , nothing has ever been more f reign

u from his nat re than the usual capriciousness ,

n li l . and wayward ess , pecu ar to her spoiled chi dren His wealth is chiefly expended upon the luxuries of the heart ; in raising the fallen ; in comforting the afflicted : and never w as on e sullen or fitful vapour Of spleen or unk indness Observed to s h a dow for a , even a moment, the shining , unv ried disk of his benevolence . But I must stop . There is n ot space here for the anthology of his virtues . ll There , too , Wi iam Taylor smoked his evening pipe , and lost himself in the cloudier fumes of

German metaphysics , and German philology .

’ ’ Biir er s Taylor s translation Of g Leonora will ,

u n l . probably , s rvive the origi a His reading was unl imited ; but it principal ly consisted of books that were not readable . His most amusing quality , however , (and it was that which kept an undying grin upon the laughter-loving face of

Sayers) was his everlasting love of hypothesi s and it was imposs ible to withstand the impertur bable gravity with which he put c rth his wild 1 56 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

of German paradoxes , fresh from the mint

Weimar and Leipsig .

How he made the Club stare , as he proved to

on a n con them that Stonehenge , S lisbury Plai ,

of - l sisted immense hail stones , that fel there in a 2 000 storm years ago , and became petriﬁed by

H ow long exposure to the air gravely, and as

if from the purest conviction , did he assert that

’ Norgate s mind (a gentleman who had taken a

of house in the Close) , by the certain laws mental

pathology, had become enlarged from the time

that he had lived near the cathedral , and ex

panded from habitual contemplation of the massy

pile within his view ! How sincerely and un af — fectedl n ot or - y ( as a sophist , a paradox monger ,

who draws a complacency from his ow n ingenuity

ow n in defending his absurdities, but in right — earnest) did he prove to the thorough dis s atis faction of those who knew n ot h ow to confute

to him , and the unspeakable amusement Of those

n ot — who thought it worth their while , and

of that too , by a chemical analysis colours , and the processes by which animal heat and organic —

r f , st ucture af ect them , that the ﬁrst race of

1 58 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

of of member , at a meeting the directors the i a Norwich Publ c Libr ry , when somebody pro

posed (it w as during the ﬁtful changes of the

F of rench Government , in the bad times the

' n ew revolution , ) to order a copy Of the last

w French constitution , Sayers remarking , ith great

t gravity , that hey had established a rule not to

er iodical l i admit any more p pub ications . A m li

on tary fop called him one day at his lodgings ,

n and criticizi g the smallness of his apartment ,

d n ot m to w remarke , that there was roo in it s ing " i u a cat . Why, then , sa d Sayers , it is q ite

for for big enough me , I never swing cats

’ Sayers s disquisitions have been lately repub

i h d t l s e . They are written in a s yle at once simple and elegant , and exactly corresponding to the s ubjects on which he discourses . THE KING O F CLUBS . 1 59

OF U THE KING CL BS .

! THIS was a fanciful title given to a Club set 1 on foot about the year 80 1 . Its founder was

Bohus Smith (himself a Club) , who gave it that l ki whimsica designation . I am spea ng of Robert

- l Smith , the late Advocate Genera of Calcutta,

of the friend and contemporary Canning , at

n Eto , and his coadjutor in that promising Speci

Of - — M men school boy talent the icrocosm . The ﬁ Club , at its rst institution , consisted of a small

or knot of lawyers , whose clients were too few,

too civil to molest their after - dinner recreations

a i t a e few l terary charac ers , and a sm ll numb r of

t visitors , generally introduced by those who ook

n the chief part in conversation , and seemi gly

selected for the faculty of being good listeners . 160 THE CLU Bs O F LON DON .

The King of Clubs sat on th e Saturday of each

n A n ch or . Tav ern month at the Crow and , in the

of Strand , which , at that time , was a nest boxes .

u ff each containing its Cl b , and a ording excellent ff cheer , though lately desecrated by indi erent din

ners and very questionable wine . The Club was

on e m to a grand talk . Every see ed anxious

of or o bring his contribution good sense , go d

ff l au i humour , and di used himse f over books and

of thors , and the prevalent topics the day .

Politics were , by a salutary proviso , quite ex

e cluded . Sometimes the conversation ros to the

higher moods of philosophical discussion and

there were on e or two who found no end in

wandering mazes lost, and made us yawn and

to our w betake ourselves rappee , hilst they dis

e of cours d highly Of mind and matter, ﬁrst and

of o secondary causation , the systems f Empe

‘ d les oc . , Lucretius , Cicero , and Galen

I esteemed myself singularly fortun ate in being — one of its earliest members for it was amongst

of the most restless aspirations my youth , to

enjoy the converse of Older and wiser men . Of

162 THE CLUBS OF LON DON .

and agreeable knowledge , and an unfailing stream of delightful illustration . Sharpe , when he ﬁrst

t went into Parliament , exci ed the warmest ex

ectation s p Of those , who , by an absurdity that is very common , predict, from any unusual vigour of al i soci talent , the highest degrees Of senator al

— of C om success , all the triumphs of the House mons from a neat and felicitous style of discussion

b . at ta le When there , he was quite transplanted , adding another to the long list which daily expe rien ce registers of th e temerity of that vulgar

was inference . He Spoke ; he listened to ; but

n or neither extensive information , solid erudi

n or tion , sparkling vivacity, nor the condensed weight of all the ratiocination , with which the

r a mind of man can be overcha ged, so as to be r

al l down before him in the private circle , and triumph at will in all its petty warfare , can gain an audience amidst the storm and whirlwind of those great controversies , upon which the hopes and fears of a nation are suspended .

1 The House of Commons -it is a s ea strewed with th e mightiest wrecks . It is an arena in

t th e whi h the proudest strength has faltered , and THE KING OF CLUBS . - 163

u ﬁrmes t conﬁdence grown pal e . Boh s himself

spoke once , and once only in that assembly ,

and failed . He retired a maimed and crippled ﬂ t im gladiator from a con ic , in which minds

measurably inferior have been Victorious . Such are the laws by which genius itself is rebuked such the despotism beneath which the highest

and palrnies t facul ties are compelled to veil their

d or head, however honoured , however ﬂattere ,

wreathed an d garlanded by academic renown .

How is this ? A volume might be written , and

the problem still remain unsolved . Is it that there is sometimes a certain amount

of reputation alr eady secured by the general s uf a

frage , and backed and sustained by an inward

conscience, that it has been justly earned ; which ,

n o be running before a man , and telli g his st ry

too fore he enters that house, and telling it w ith the fervid exaggeration of private friendship —b ecomes a pressure upon sensitive minds , a drag - chain that impedes and deadens them in

their career ? Pre - existing fame operates as a

an d vehement incentive not to Sink beneath it , , " —“ as in our corporeal economy all our powerful M 2 164 THE CLUBS OF LON DON . incentives are followed by counteracti n g dehili

our l to ties , mental constitution is subject a so

m o ul the sa e c ndition ; and the res t is , that the man is borne down by the same buoyant and ambitious wave that lifted him up . A single failure closes the account ; and the unhappy ad

u venturer , though under the rightf l conviction that he has failed from n o defect of the same talent that has carried hundreds onwards without — check or impediment in the full internal assur ance that his intellectual cruise lacked no oil — that he had eloquence and matter at his call all ' — that coul d sustain his argumen t wit and imagi — nation in a heaped measure to adorn it learn ing sufﬁcient to mak e his discourse like a stream f w — lo ing over golden sands , is compelled to sit

a all ﬂatteries of down midst these the heart , the

affr intellect , the conscience , in ight and despair , left alone to the gloomy family of his own re — ﬂections those reﬂections which were wont to be

his a smiling groupe ; and which , as he joyed over

O w n an d . attainments , his own powers , minis tered to him the purest and sweetest of s atis fac tion s .

6 1 6 THE C LUBS OF LONDON . been fortunate enough to obtain from the most fastidious assemblage of critics in the world .

l . It is strange , but stil not inexplicable The man deceived no expectation , for he never ex

. It cited any is all Sheer gain to him , for he had little or nothing to hazard . Had he broken

u down , he wo ld have been only where he was b efore ; he would have lost no reputation , but

or u might have retired to his family, his Cl b , as great a man as ever . He might have remained

l u stil the undisp ted oracle of his neighbourhood , or laid down the law at his table , to the perfect

t conviction of the bu ler , ﬁxed in mute astonish ment at his genius .

- i Whereas , a highly g fted being , who has ex

t all of an d hans ed the stores learning , scholastic

i — a pol te grown p le, perhaps , over the midnight

lamp , and set a thousand tongues in motion , to

yelp out his literary and social triumphs -when ff such a man makes his ﬁrst e ort, unsuccessfully, b efore that formidable host , but few of whom could assign a single reason for deeming that

f i u un im ri ef ort a fa lure , then r sh forth , like p

s on ed tempests , envy , and the whole tribe of THE KING OF CLUBS . 167

kindred feelings , which solace the little for the

Of overthrow the great , and the unsuccessful aspirant is heard no more . He may talk , for the rest of his parliamentary existence , good sense in

- r the committee rooms , set the count y gentleman i r ght , and be of much quiet utility . But he has failed as a debater ; he has lost the race with all the odds in his favour : the swift - footed Salins outstripped by the beardl ess Euryalus— Men

o ander conquered by Philemon , with wh m , an hour or two before , he would have scorned a competition .

I have lived long enough to . witness many similar exempliﬁcation s of the fallacy Of our esti f m . o ates In truth , the House Commons is a test too severe for the Sensitiveness of real genius .

It is exposing the gilded gondola, whose oars , das hing upon the un rufﬂed canal to the melody of voices , and the music Of instruments , carried her exultingly along—it is exposing her to the

of . rude and shifting gales the Adriatic I have ,

In Ima in atiori Of g , followed the unsuccessful man l d ’ ta ent to his trouble couch , his month s prepa

of ration graceful eloquence , worse than lost , and 1 68 THE CLUBS O F LONDON . all his as pirin gs perhaps quenched for ever ; and

of an d I have thought cities laid waste , over

’ thrown ; and of Servius Sulpicius s letter to

u Cicero , detailing his melancholy , but beautif l

on reﬂections the ruins Of Megara and Corinth , and other places , swallowed up in that grave Of

n o empires , where there is more knowledge, and n o more devices .

Richard Sharpe was , I think , in acuteness and

l r of of penetration , confessed y the ﬁ st the King l Clubs . He indu ged but rarely in pleasantry

of but when any thing the kind escaped him , it was sure to tell : It delighted us all by its un ex

ectedn es s . on e w e p I remember evening , when

* Tw eddel in were talking about , then a student l the Temple , who had distinguished himse f over every competitor at Cambridge , had carried off th e every prize , and was senior wrangler ,

H e ave ed in to G ec to e o th e nti ities tr ll re e, xpl re a qu

of t t in te es tin countrv and died A then s é d then is ha r g , at s um—as w as in H w as u ied in s crib ed upon his tomb . e b r ‘ ” th e T m l f T His f Pr olus ion es a o t e e o es e s . p h u , y u h ful w o k w as a te w a ds s ed w t a io a ical r , f r r p ubli h , i h b gr ph n ti is ot o ce h e . , by br h r

170 THE CLUB S OF LONDON .

what apt to recite , with most interminable per

in severance , Spite of yawns , and other symptoms

i ow n for of disl ke , which his politeness ( he was a highly-bred man) forbade him to interpret into the absence Of it in others .

In this respect , however , he was outdone by

Wishart, who was nothing but quotation , and whose prosing , when he did converse , was like

’ the torp edo s touch to all pl easing and lively con

w h o verse ; and by Charles Butler, , having seen ,

of in the course a lengthened life , a vast variety

n of character , had treasured up a co siderable

of assortment reminiscences , which , when once

a - set going , came out like a torrent upon you .

- ou It was a sort of shower bath , that inundated y the moment you pulled the string .

e al l of Thes were men extensive reading , and

n i some of profou d erud tion . Yet, as a Club , it was somewhat too literary ; and the conversa .

ou tion was such , as to exclude the topics , t of which the thin and many - coloured tissue Of light and ﬂowing talk is spun in more micellan eous societies ; it gave the professed talkers too much opportunity Of wasting the hours Of easy 1 THE KING OF CLUBS . 17

and elegant recreation in verbal disputes , and metaphysical reﬁnements ; a long and tedious i c tation from books , which they had committed

of to memory in the morning , for the colloquy the evening . H ow w e (that is the younger and more social members) used to bite our lips in pure

n vexatio , and , staring in each others faces ,

” vi n e Sit in s ad ci lity a d h ar .

We felt it as an abominable shame , that the

Short season we could spare from the still - recur

of u ring round our morning labo rs , should entail on us this voluntary taxation Of our jaded facul ties , after they had run their stage , and required

e or out exer to be unharness d , , if called , to be

c is ed merely in the Short and easy excursions of the table .

But our i c rcle was Often enlarged by visitors , i r and the r attendance was so f equent , that some

of them might be considered as actual members .

They sometimes brought us accessions Of lively

and ul ~ various constitution , and it was a d l even

Mr . ing without them . Lora Ers kine , then 1 72 THE CLUBS OF LoNDON .

of Erskine , the leader the English bar , and its

un fre pride and glory at that time , came not

e u qu ntly amongst us , to enjoy an ho r or two , stolen from his immense and overﬂowing business .

, It is a pardonable digression , if it can be

little of deemed a digression , to say a this great man ; for such he must be esteemed by every on e who is capable of taking a full length view of u — a a most sing lar and gifted mind mind, to

w whose endo ments , and a Character , to whose

of good qualities , there has been late a growing

. F or ex insensibility I am afraid , that the tinctus ama lzitur ff , the posthumous a ection which sometimes repays with usur y the neglect of living i reputation , that even this pittance is den ed to

Lord Erskine . Certainly, his Closing day fell

- in mists and in cloudiness , and was ill suited to

of the promise his early, and the radiance Of his meridian greatness . But that his unequalled

l in forensic talents , his unfa tering . adamantine tegrity amid all the lures and temptations under which the ambition of meaner minds has s unk for ever ; his delightful playful ness in the social

for Circle his zeal human happiness , and human

174 THE CLUBS OF LON DON . — the best days of Erskine have they since w it

n es s ed or an advocate similar , even Second to

- al him Is there one leader in Westminster H l ,

or whom either good luck , talent , or the attorneys

- have raised to that pre eminence , that can show so many sound and un equivocal titles to it ? The late Lord Kenyon was as strongly Opposed to

’ Erskine s politics as a man could be . The colour

an d complexion of their minds were wholly dif fe n l re t . They came often into co lision at the

period to which I refer , which was about thirty

years ago ; and their sentiments upon the judicial

u of questions , which SO freq ently arose in cases libel and sedition (and it was a time of bitter

intestine division) , were as far asunder as the

too i e poles . It was the age, , of petulant and n

- n o on e temperate Attorney Generals , for con s idered himself ﬁt for his Situation if he did n ot

ex - eio ﬁle a due portion Of qﬁ informations . But

- even in those bad humoured times, that excellent and venerable lawyer spoke and deemed well of Erskine ; and if any on e could rightly take ff o ence at his tone and manner, which were

sometimes indignant even to vehemence , in those THE KING OF CLUBS . 1 75

i causes of h gh concernment , into which Erskine — w as accustomed to infuse his whole soul it was

for a Lord Kenyon , I have seen the tears st rt r a l f om his eyes , fter some litt e bickering had arisen between them .

on I had been a short visit to Richmond , and

to was returning town on foot , a conveyance not

e brieﬂ s inconvenient to a poor barrist r , e s and

w speechless in the back ro s Of the Court . An old m coach came ru bling along and overtook me .

It was on e of those vehicles that reminded me of a Duke or Marquis under the Old r eg ime of

n France , retaining , in indigence and wa t, the faded ﬁnery of his wardrobe . Its coronet was scarcely discernible, and its gildings were mouldy ; yet it seemed tenacious of what little remained Of

an d to its dignity , unwilling subside into a mere

- hackn ey coach . I believe I might have looked

ful ul rather wist ly at it, for it was a s try day , when

I perceived a head with a red night - cap suddenly

ad pop out from the window, and heard myself ff dressed by name , with the o er of a cast to

London .

’ w hO et It was Lord Kenyon , was r urning from 1 6 7 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

- his house at Marsh gate , and I gladly accepted the invitation . He made the little journey quite

u of delightf l to me , by an abundance most cha racteris tic anecdotes Of the bar in his ow n time W * Of Jack Lee , allace , Bower , Mingay , Howarth ,

n the last Of whom, he said , was drow ed in the

on - Thames a Sunday water excursion . The good Old man was evidently affected by the regrets which his name awakened , and they seemed the more poignant , because his friend was called to

of his account in an act profanation . But it

of a was the sin good man , he Observed , and Sunday was the only day which a lawyer in full f business could Spare or his recreations .

Insensibly the conversation turned on Mr .

h ot of Erskine . I know what perversity feeling

n or came across me , do I recollect precisely what

to re I objected that eminent man , but it was a petition of some of the ill - tempered an imadv er

Of - sions Westminster Hall , that were then cur

rent . Young man , said the Chief Justice ,

’ He w as Kin s Co n s A h is deat Min a e . a g u l t h , g y ’ o t ined th e tem o a ad Of the Kin s -Benc b ut b a p r ry le g h ,

u t E s i w as s oon afterw ards thr s t ou fromit by r k ne.

1 8 7 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

’ These little j eux d esp r it ﬂew about the bar

’ ris ter s ff benches, and a orded us frequent amuse

O . ment . n e or two of them I happen to recollect

Mr . Justice Ashurst was remarkable for a long

lanky visage, not unlike that which Cervantes

’ sketched as Don Quixote s . Erskine scribbled

this ludicrous couplet on a slip Of paper

J d e As u s t w it his lanthorn aw s u g h r , h j , ” T li ht u h En i w s hrow s g p on t e gl s h la .

The other was a Latin dis tich upon Mr . Justice

Grose .

ualis s it G otius de uno acci e v ers u Q r ju x , p — u itat s tridet b al butit et rrat . Exclamat, d b , , e

It was at the Kin g of Clubs that I heard

Erskine detail the story of his early professio n al life He was certainly fond of the ﬁrst pronoun

in personal ; but the story , as he told it, is an

structive exempliﬁcation of those golden oppor

r a ff ties . tun i , which occur but ra ely in hum n a airs

ul Yet, though what is v garly termed luck, had its

share in urging alon g his most rapid and pro

ous s per career , never was chance so well seconded O 1 THE KING E CLUBS . 79

a al in by great t lent , by chivalrous ze , and proud

t f tegri y o heart and conduct .

A S of he related it , the beginning his fortune “ was ridiculously accidental . I had scarcely a s hilling in my pocket when I got my ﬁrst re

in il Of ta er . It was sent me by a Captain Ba lie ,

f of the navy, who held an O ﬁce at the Board

Greenwich Hospital and I was to Show cause in the Michaelmas term against a rule that had been

O l btained against him in the preceding term , ca l

ing on him to Show c ause why a criminal in

for on formation , a libel reﬂecting Lord Sand

’ n of l wich s co duct as Governor that charity , shou d

n ot . be ﬁled against him I had met , during the

’ long vacation , this Captain Baillie at a friend s

af d table ; and, ter dinner , I expresse myself with

e on some warmth , probably with som eloquence ,

the corruption of Lord Sandwich as First Lord of

the Admiralty , and then adverted to the scan dal ous practises imputed to him with regard to

Greenwich Hospital . Baillie kn udged the person

n to who sat ext him , and asked who I was ?

Being told that I had been just called to the bar, t and had been formerly in he navy , Baillie ex

N 2 ’ G 11 for Claimed, Then , by I have him one

’ Of my counsel .

- I trudged down to Westminster Hall , when

Of I got the brief ; and , being the junior ﬁve who would be heard before me , never dreamed that

u the Court would hear me at all . The arg ment

i on BearcrOft Wall ace came . Dunning, , , Bower , n Hargrave , were all heard at co siderable length ,

to - and I was follow . Hargrave was long winded , and tired the Court . It was a bad omen . But as u w ould h av e f my good fort ne \ it, he was a ﬂicted w s tran uar ith the g y, and was obliged to retire

or of once twice in the course his argument .

This protracted the cause SO long, that when

re he had ﬁnished , Lord Mansﬁeld said that the maining counsel Sho uld be heard the next morn ing . This was exactly what I wished . I had the

whole night to arran ge in my Chambers what I

had to say the next morning ; and I took the

f ul Court with their ac ties awake and freshened ,

ow n f succeeded quite to my satis action , (some times the surest proof that you have satisﬁed

others) , and , as I marched along the Hall , after

the rising of the judges , the attorneys ﬂocked

182 THE CLUBS OF LONDON .

of Change and insurrection , and the terrors cri minal prosecutions spread a general panic amongst those who had distinguished themselves by their

for al imprudent zeal its doctrines , Erskine was

ways their undismayed advocate . He told us a remarkable anecdote of Lord

Loughborough in that season of political agita ~ i ’ tion . It was about the period of Pa ne s prose

’ cution for his Rights Of Man . Paine s retainer was sent to Erskine , who accepted it . He was n then , as it is well k own , high in the conﬁdence of of f the Prince Wales, and o ﬁciated as Attorney

al to Gener that illustrious person . Certain per

w h o sons , had an undue but secret inﬂuence over

- the councils Of Carlton House , had impressed upon his excellent understanding , that Erskine

n would not , though acti g under the strong Obliga

of of tion a retainer , reconcile a defence Paine to

- his duty as a law ofﬁcer to his Royal Highness .

Shortly afterwards , said Erskine , I hap pened to be walking home across Hampstead

Heath . It was a dark November evening . I

met Loughborough coming in an Opposite direc

i h . t on , apparently wit the intention Of meeting me . 183 THE KING OF CLUBS .

’ on He was also foot Erskine , said he , I was seeking you ; for I have something important to ’— communicate to you . There was an unusual solemnity in his manner, and a deep hollowness

a in his voice . We were alone . The place w s solitary . The dusk was gathering around us , and

n ot n or . a voice, a footstep was within hearing I l felt as Hubert felt, when John half opened, ha f suppressed the purpose of his soul in that awful

Sh aks eare h as s o conference , which p ﬁnely ima — in ed. u h e g After a portentous pa se , began .

’ ’ n ou n ot Erski e , y must take Paine s brief. il But I have been retained, and I w l take it by G was my reply . The next day I was dis

’ missed from the Prince s council . Adequately to estimate what Lord Erskine l - mu s t was , as a Nisi Prius advocate , we forget all i i that the Engl sh bar has produced after h m. They will afford no criterion by which he can be

of — appreciated . They are all inferior clay the

of Nor mere sweepings the hall in comparison .

of is it easy to form any tolerable idea him , but by having seen him from day to day, from year to

manhOOt f year , in the prime and his intellect, or 184 THE CLUBS LONDON . run n ing with graceful facility through the chaos

' of briefs before him and it is on ly by that perso

c nal Cxperien e , that it is possible to form any notion of the admirable versatility with which he

on e glided from cause to another , the irony , the

i h umour th e - w , good nature , ith which he laughed

e down the adverse case , and the vehemenc and

ow spirit with which he sustained his n .

Of - the greater part of his Nisi Prius conﬂicts ,

n ot scarcely a memorial now exists . I shall soon

of for forget many his puns , to that equivocal spe cies of w it,he was by no means indisposed either

or in the Court at table . I particularly remem her ff his opening a case , in which the plainti had brought his action against Christie , the celebrated

to - for auctioneer , recover the deposit money an

l s on estate , which he had credulous y purcha ed

’ of on e Christie s representation its beauties . In t Of those ﬂorid descrip ions , which abounded in all

’ Christie s advertisements , the house was stated as

u commanding an extensive and beautif l lawn , with

7 of h av m a distant prospect the Needles , and as g l amongst its numerous conveniences , an exce lent

- billiard room .

186 THE CLUBS O F LON DON .

conducted to a room in the attic , the ceiling of

l n ot which was SO low, that a man cou d stand upright in it , and therefore must perforce put t l himself into the pos ure Of a bi liard player . See

. of ing this , Mr Christie, by the mag ic his elo

uen ce billiar d-r q , converted the place into a oom.

of en But the ﬁne view the Needles , gentlem , ? where was it No such thing was to be seen , and my poor client might as well have looked for

o a needle in a bottle f hay .

. Never did the bar of England sustain such a loss as when the Whigs removed Erskine to the

oak seals . It was transplanting an into a sandy soil : its roots were infected its majestic arms became circumscribed and stinted, and its

a . ﬁne foli ge , from that hour , drooped and withered

Had he been transplanted to a bishoprick , it woul d not have been a more unnatural transition . A pastoral Charge would have been easier to him than a decree in equity . Yet he laboured unin termittin gly to familiarize himself to the practice

ﬁ f Chancery ; and he acquitted himself to the satisfaction of the bar , during the short sojourn he made there for there is an ubiquity in great 18 THE KING OF CLUBS . 7

to be out mi n ds, that will not permit it wholly of

too ou . place , wherever y ﬁx it H e availed himself, ,

for Of very able assistance ; his old friend Hargrave , f whose s tran guary had been the foundation O his t ff fortunes , rendered him mos e ectual service in

. ﬁnding cases for him , and Shaping his decrees

n o of It is , however , mean praise to say Lord i l Erskine , that in that splend d exa tation , which

of dizzies ordinary minds , and renders the hearts

b to men , who have een suddenly lifted up high

v of preferment , cold and insensible , and obli ious

all Old intercourses , he felt the force and freshness H of . e his early attachments was neither cold,

n or to nor reserved, distant the humblest applica

e on e tions . I was induc d , upon occasion , to

to request his interposition , in a question likely

of be agitated in the House Lords , considering that his opinions would receive considerable

authority from his high Ofﬁcial character . I

was then at a distance from England, where the

of murmur British politics could not reach me , .

n ot l U calcu ating pon the probability , that the

Whigs would, in the meantime , have knocked

CathOliC ub an d h their heads against the s ject , t at, 188 OF THE CLUBS LON D ON .

before my application could reach them , they

out A would all have been of ofﬁce . little sore

n es s I , think , is perceptible in it ; and it shows

h ow of also the mind , under the vexations dis

to appointed ambition , welcomes herself the de luSiv e anticipations of ease , and comfort , and

u tranquillity, in the enjoyments of r ral retire ment .

DEAR

I am afraid you will think me unkind in n ot writing to you in answer to your friendly letter ;

do ou ou but, I assure y , that I remember y with

th e true regard , and take strongest interest in your

f . out wel are The truth is , that we had gone of ofﬁ ce before I received the papers respecting and I have no reason to believe that any thing upon the subject is in agitation .

is for If ever the matter taken up , my regard l your Opinions , and wishes , as we l as the justice of s the ca e (as far as I am yet acquainted with it) , would induce me to do what little may n ow be in my power upon the matter you refer to . m I am now retired ( ost probably for life) ,

19 0 THE CLUBS OF LON DON .

been capable of suffering my enthusiasm for such

n ot of a character (an enthusiasm , the fruit a

hasty or transien t admiration) to grow dim and languid with the waning brightness of his later

years . But there were hearts that feasted upon his

errors ; that told them with delight , and trans mitted t oo u exa era ~ them , , with the venomo s gg tions , that evil stories gather , as they run their

round among uncharitable narrators for he h ad then nothing left to attract their stupid gaze

nothin g to bribe their idiotic applause . He had no table to feed the coxcombs that moed and — Chattered at him n o glare of equipage to ex tort the vulgar deference paid to rank ; his wit ticis ms were pointless ; even his intellect was said to decline with his ﬁnances .

t o And this has happened him , whose noble e ff orts placed triple ramparts , and erected ada man tin e defences , around the trial by jury ; the f o . f precursor in that great cause , Mr Fox himsel , whose memorable bill is only the legislative rec ord of E . the victory achieved by rskine To a man , whose forensic eloquence the puny pleaders Of the 1 1 THE KING O F CLUBS . 9

a present day, the lean shrivelled insects , th t now h o l to p about the Hal , may indeed strive imitate , but are doomed never, never to reach . Where is the monument which we were told was to be erected by the English bar to his

? l ow memory Whose was the base envy , the

Of minded avarice his own personal fame, that extinguished the project He is well known th e of pertest, primmest pleader the modern bar the greatest among them in this day of its little ness . Honours may be showered upon him ; but

A d o l um h al eras e o in u t in t n te t s e c u e o i . p pu p , g , v

H ow immeasurably below the mascul ine vigour

’ k al ~ Of Ers ine s eloquence is the sophistic , wire drawn rhetoric of this fortunate prater ! Probably. in mere scholarship , S is somewhat superior for Erskine was n o clerk in that department of m u . literat re His education , though co pleted at

Cambridge , was desultory and broken , and , for

al many years , suspended by the duties of a nav , and afterwards of a militarylife and he entered 19 2 r THE CLUBS o LONDON .

U the niversity , merely to save a certain number

’ of terms at Lincoln s Inn . But turn to his mas — terly speech for Stockdale z What book - worm

' could have spun SO varied and beauteous a tissue

of of moral and political reﬂection , lofty and sublime imagery His rays were native and um

of ow n . borrowed , but of the sun his imagination

Curran , the boast Of the Irish bar , came three or four successive Saturdays to the King of Clubs .

On It was during a very Short visit to London .

on e r . occasion , Erskine and Cur an met there I

too th e augured , perhaps sanguinely , from acci b dent that rought together two men , considered as prodigies in their respective countries , and the

ﬂ of of ff con ict two minds equal , but very di erent

to powers ; and I expected see, with a delight partaking Of awe , the conﬂuence of those mighty streams of pleasantry and talent .

I was disappointed . Curran was evidently not

l . h e b amongst congenia wits At ﬁrst , was o s ti

n atel . of y mute Towards the Close the evening,

e however, he told us some amusing an cdotes of

u . A w the Fo r Courts t ﬁrst, his utterance as

I remarked slow and drawling ; but , with asto

19 4 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

ﬁnely compared to a volcano , blazing among the snows of Etna .

n Several barren witticisms , attributed to Curra ,

un having , about this time , fo d their way into

- h e newspapers , and even into jest books , most

vehemently disclaimed the greater part of them . To some (it was his phrase) he pleaded guilty

of out and repeated a few them , pointing , with

great accuracy , the names of persons , as well as

al l the occasions , that c led them forth . He a so

gave us some en tertaining sketches of Lord

of Avonmore , Chief Justice Ireland (Yelverton) ,

of h the earliest friend his yout , and companion

of his studies . Lord Avonmore was subject to perpetual ﬁts

of absence , and was frequently insensible to the

conversation that was going on . He was once

on e of wrapped in his wonted reveries and , not

hearing one syllable of what was passing , (it was

' a at large professional dinner given by Mr .

C uri an h is Bushe) , , who was Sitting next to

i on for Lordship , hav ng been called a toast, gave ” our All absent friends , patting , at the same

time , Lord Avonmore on the shoulder , and tell K THE ING OF CLUBS . 19 5

in g him that they had just drank his health . Quite unconscious of any thing that had been

ai s d for the last hour , and taking the intimation as a serious one , Avonmore rose , and apologizing for to his inattention , returned thanks the com pany for the honour they had done him by

a drinking his he lth .

e There was a curious Character , a Serg ant

’

Kelly, at the Irish bar . He was , in his day , a man Of celebrity . Curran gave us some Odd

ec u Sketches of him . The most whimsical p liarit of y, however , this gentleman , and which ,

a as Curran described it, excited a gener l grin , was an inveterate habit of drawing conclusions directly at variance with his premises . He had acquired the name of Counsellor Therefore . Curran said that he was a perfect human per

' s on iﬁcation of n on s e uitur . i n a q For stance ,

’

on e . meeting Curran Sunday near St Patrick s , he said to him , The Archbishop gave us an ex cellen t discourse this morning . It was well

ther or e written and well delivered ; ef , I shall mak e a point of being at the Four Courts to

morrow at ten . At another time , observing to

o 2 T H E C LUBS O F LON DON .

a person whom he met in the street , What

a delightful morning this is for wal king ! he

on ﬁnished his remark the weather , by saying .

therefore , I will go home as soon as I can , and

ou stir t no more the whole day . n His speeches in Court were i terminable , and

there or es on his f kept him going , though every on e thought that he had done . The whole Court was in a titter when the Sergeant came out with

of them , whilst he himself was quite unconscious the cause of it .

s o This is clear a point , gentlemen , he

l ou wou d tell the jury, that I am convinced y felt it t o be so the very momen t l stated it . I sh ould pay your understandings but a poor com

limen t to on for ther e or e p dwell it a minute ; f ,

I Shall now proceed to explain it to you as mi

u n tely as possible . Into such absurdities did ” his favourite therefore betray him .

Curran seemed to have no very profound re spect for the character and talents of Lord

N and omitted no opportunity of expressing what he thought of him . He deemed him a

b e man , whose good qualities , and they , said ,

1 8 9 THE CLUBS O F LONDON .

This is nearly all that I can recollect of Cur ran at the King of Clubs . At a much later

to ac period , it was my good fortune renew my

n quaintance with him , at a din er given to a select l party by A derman Wood , during the mayoralty

e of that gentleman . Curran had , in the mean

to while , been transplanted the Rolls , as forced and unnatural a process as that of removing

Erskine to the Court of Chancery ; for Curran

n ot n on e beﬁt had , in his judicial situatio , quality

it . ting In truth he was complexionally , and habi

- tuall . y, an extra judicial character As a lawyer ,

’ he was almost unread . He never perused his briefs , but employed Burton to note down the leading

on h facts w ich the case turned, and if it was a

u for law arg ment to hunt the books precedents . This vicarious employment gradually brought

Burton himself into considerable business . But

Curran , as a general advocate, and more espe

cially w hen he had to deal in high constitutional

l . and popular topics , was alone and unriva led

O n un ﬁtn es s for the other hand , his the Rolls

was felt by the whole bar ; n or was he un con ~ THE KING OF CLUBS . 19 9

w o scious Of it himself . In a year or t he became d SO uneasy in his situation , that he applie for his pension and retired .

A our u t the renewal of acquaintance , C rran

i n ot was l ving at Brompton , and in very splendid d lo gings . He gave , however, several pleasant dinner parties but his health was declining , and his spirits apparently broken . Yet , in spite of

a out fre corpore l decay , his wonted ﬁres burst

re quently in conversation , particularly as . he

of counted the incidents his early life , or sketched the Characters of his legal con tempora ries . Then it was that he seemed renovated ’ to — to his v iv er e v itd otior e youth enjoy the , the p of Martial . ff n I remember well how o ended he was , whe some one at his table observed that Charles

P who had just published a volume of h is

’ to own speeches, belonged Curran s school of

oratory, and that many critics traced a strong resemblance of style and manner to the greatest

’ of his own speeches . Don t mention the fel

’

n . low s name , exclaimed Curra If his

are m Ow n speeches like y , it is but the resem 2 00 TH E or CLUBS LONDON .

to a ra blance of the ape the man , which only gg

’ ” vates the animal s deformity .

Shiel , the Roman Catholic demagogue , was

or there . He had written a tragedy expressly f

' M O Niel on iss , and the conversation turning the piece , which was then in preparation at C o

- vent Garden , Shiel , said Curran , you know how I regard you . But I cannot better

Show that regard than by prayin g to Heaven that

g your tra edy may be damned . Yo ur lawful wife — — ’ is the law stick to her and don t insult her by your licentious gallantries with the drama . Curran said that he never went a hunting but

’ o n ce ; and that was at a friend s house about

n twenty miles from Dubli . They had perched

- al him , he said , upon a self willed anim , that

o to w uld not listen any reason , but was fretting f and pulling , and making every ef ort to get into a

off full gallop , when they were throwing the ”

. to off hounds I wanted get , continued Cur ran , but the cunning brute would not let me

m to on f dis ount , preferring keep me his back or the mere luxury of tormenting me . You ” s on e were alarmed then , Curran , ome Oh

SUPPLE MENTA RY AN E CDOTE S .

O O J HN H RNE TOOKE .

JO HN HO RNE TOOKE was , perhaps , the most extraordinary man of the period in which he

h w lived . Scarcely any political occurrence ap

ot a pened in which he did n t ke an active part .

n of n - During his lo g life seve ty seven years , he witn essed more revolutions of politics and of parties than any other man and in all of them his talents and indefatigable Spirit were exerted

on either one side or the other . " I In noticing some Of the traits of this remark

’ to able man s character , it will be necessary ‘ touch br ityly upon the principal events of his 2 03 JOHN HORNE TOOKE .

life . His father , whose name was H orne , was a poulterer in Westminster , and was , to say the if least , in very comfortable circumstances , not rich . A nxious to bestow the best education

s on th upon his , whom he intended for eChurch , he sent him ﬁrst to Westminster School , and

’ then to St . John s College , Cambridge ; at both which seminaries he distinguished himself by ta

O n lent and assiduity . entering into holy

of u orders , he was , under the patronag e the D ke of Newcastle , immediately inducted into the i lucrat ve living of Brentford , where he continued for - h ow twenty four years ; during which time ,

of . ever , he never quitted the ﬁeld politics

' During the commotions raised by Wilkes , the

Reverend Mr . Horne espoused the popular Side

” and when the favourite of the people was dis

appointed in being returned to serve in Parlia

1 68 ; ment , in 7 , he exerted the whole of his

power and influence in procuring his election for

Middlesex ; which Hercul ean task he at length

achieved by canvassing town and country ; by

soliciting votes and by ope n

ing houses of entertainment for the voters . 2 04 SUPPLEMENTARY AN ECDOTES .

ae Wilkes and he , however , soon afterwards qu r r lled e ; . did ﬁ rid for Mr Horne not , when his turn was served , that Mr . Wilkes was the red hot patriot that he had pretended . A paper war J ensued , in which the celebrated unius took a

. u part It was d ring this dispute , that the Rector of Brentford and the City Chamberlain meeting one day , upbraided each other for the several m l parts theytook . At length , Ho e told Wi kes that he was a renegado fr om the cause Of li : berty and that he ought to blush for his luke

You warmness . are mistaken , my dear parson , replied Wilkes , I never was a

Wilkite

r r for M . Horne was a powe ful advocate Ame

al for rican independence ; but , in his ze liberty , he was SO imprudent as to open and advertise a subscription f or the r elief of our unf or tuna te

r ethr en in A mer ica w ho w er e bas el murder ed b , y

r o L e in o by the Br itis h t ops a t x g t n . For this he was prosecuted and imprisoned in the King’s

Bench . All hope of ecclesiastical preferment being at

e free ~ o i~ an end , or rath r having imbibed the p

2 0 6 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

d f r as can idates o Westminster ; but , from mis in M r . n ot management , Tooke did succeed his

wish to represent that City .

It is n ow time that the reader should be in

Of of m formed the cause , and all the Circu stances ’ f o . connected with Mr . Horne s change name

A n Tooke w h o n elderly gentleman , amed , had made a large fortune as a merchant in the African

b ou h t s ome iii C ompany , g lands Lincolnshire ;

to but, the title being supposed be defective , the

for A ttor crown set up a Claim them , and the

- ney General was employed to conduct the case .

Mr . Tooke had heard of the rejection of Mr .

m of Ho e by the benchers the Inner Temple , and he conceived that this exclusion was no

of un ac ~ proof his being an unso d lawyer . He c ordi n l g y applied to him and Mr . Horne having s olicited the suite , had the good fortune to defeat the crown lawyers .

Mr . Tooke was altogether s o well pleased with e his success , that he becam strongly attached to h is solicitor and invited him to reside with him at his house in Westminster ; which he did for JO HN HORNE TOOKE . 2 07

s . everal years Their friendship was , if possible, strengthened by John Horne assuming the sur

Of to ow n name his patron , and attaching it his s o that from henceforward he was known as , and ” h is Signed name , John Horne Tooke . During

. n o this intercourse , Mr Horne Tooke, having

al of n oh profession means earning mo ey, was li ed on to old g , several occasions , borrow from W Mr . Tooke ; and the latter illingly ac c ommo

of u dated him , at the rate ﬁve h ndred pounds at a time ; but , in accordance with his mercantile

old to habits , the man always took care have his

for ad bond , bearing interest , whatever sum he v an ced although he had frequently told his p r oteg e that he should be the sole heir to his m i mense property . At length Home Tooke discovered that his patron had a nephew, who had at some time

ff h ad o ended him , and whom the old gentleman " refused to see for several years . This was a

to Colonel Harwood , whom Horne contrived to

w to be introduced , and hom he found be a gen tleman of reﬁned manners and great in telligence . 2 0 8 P SU PLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

Resolved to effect a reconciliation between the

on e relatives , he said day , I understand:my

” ou dear sir , that y have a nephew .

h ow ou n And dare y , Sir , me tion that circum ” a old st nce to me , returned the man , reddening

with anger .

I beg your pardon , Mr . Tooke , replied

Horne but I thought the intelligence of Colo

nel Harwood being in London might be agreeable

to you .

Quite the reverse , Sir, responded Mr .

if ou Tooke and y regard my favour, you will never mention his name in my hearing . U pon my word , Sir , rejoined Horne , I

’ don t understand this . It is very possible that — you may have cause just cause of complaint ;

’ f to ou nay , su ﬁcient warrant y in discarding this

of G—d n ewly found relative yours but , by I h must and shall know t e reason . For your

h f r friends ip and kindness towards mysel , I t ust

n ot — ou that I have been nay, I defy y to say that — I have ever been ungrateful but , as I have enjoyed y our conﬁdence so long , I consider that

2 10 PP Y A NE SU LEMENTAR CDOTE S . you for ever ; and I Shall neither eat n or Sleep in

for your house after this night ; so , the present , I

ou will leave y to your reﬂections . ” 0 ! ! old St p stop exclaimed the man , soften M ing ; upon my word, aster Horne Tooke , you

ou n or give yourself airs that neither become y ,

. ou ou suit me However, saucy varlet, as y are , y

on have justice your Side , and I suppose I must d—d submit to your dictation as usual , and be to ” you . Oh ! ’ don t let it be said , Sir , exclaimed

Horne , that my dictation

Hold your tongue , Sir , interrupted the

old ou querulous man sit down , and y shall hear

—In what a disobedient villain that Harwood is . th e — to ﬁrst place but, pray Sir , may I beg be

or ou informed , as to what interest, motive , y can have in thus diving into family affairs ? ”

’ NO i interest , Sir , whatever , repl ed Horne ;

of and the only motive that I have , is a love justice ; for I could not bear that your nephew

n should be estra ged from you , whilst I ate your

of . bread, and drank your cup Besides , what

ou must the world think of y ; and indeed of me , JOH N HORNE TOOKE . 2 1 1

too a of , did I counten nce this banishment your near relative ? ” The Old man was satisﬁed with this explana

to . tion , and recounted Mr Tooke several petty

circumstances of supposed offence on the part of

Colonel Harwood but his auditor soon explained ,

or ar ued f rather g , away all dif erences ; and he

had the satisfaction of carrying an invitation to

to the Colonel , dine with his uncle the next

day .

The Old gentleman was s o pleased with his

h n nephew, t at he gave him a ge eral invitation to

s o his house ; and, at length , he became attached , h im that he would have become an inmate . This arrangement was soon acceded to ; and John

of for Horne Tooke took advantage it , the more convenient pursuance of his studies in philology for which purpose he took the house in Purley

al or Bottom , where he composed the princip p ” tion Of his famous work , entitled Diversions .

for l o d . But , as it was impossible Mr Tooke to

of m be totally deprived his co pany, John Horne arranged his plans s o as to live in the house in

on e t in Westminster mon h , and his own the P 2 S UPPLE M ENTA RY ANECDOTES .

too next, and SO on . Colonel Harwood , , by this plan , secured six months of liberty during the year ; for , whilst Horne Tooke was with his

ow n ff . uncle , he pursued his a airs elsewhere

A s a reward for their assiduity in contributing

in to u . his am sement and comfort, Mr Tooke variably told them , when they met together , that

un they should be his joint and sole heirs ; but,

n if or he fortu ately , either Of them vexed him ,

l of came cavil ers , during his month servitude , he

would invariably tell him that he would dis in

herit him , and leave all his property to the other !

He had threatened each in this manner so often , a that at length , upon comp ring notes , it became

or or a moot point whether Tooke , Harwood ,

of e old both , Should inherit the riches this t sty

man . Accordingly , they laid their heads to

gether, and agreed, that whichever Should be

w ill declared heir by , should divide equally with

his friend . This ingenious mode of defeating the e threats Of the old gentleman , caus d many a

laugh between them .

a ! But, las human foresight is Often but of little

2 14 SUPPLE MENTA RY ANECDOTES .

veery one , said , that it was too bad for Cousin

Harwood to be cut out , and he was determined that he should have half. The father embraced

’ ’ s n — his o , saying , There s my own boy you ha k ’ just done the very thing that I was a thin ing o .

’ and ye won t thrive worse for doing a good ” action .

Colonel Harwood , accordingly , received seven t - l y two thousand pounds in cash , and ca led upon Horne Tooke with the news . The latter,

u who had several visitors with him , congrat lated

h is ft him upon good fortune ; and, a er further “ compliments, his visitor said, You know , Mr .

ou os itiv e r i ht of Tooke , y have no p g to any this ff money , as it was obtained upon a di erent tack to what our joint expectations were but

By no means , returned Tooke , I have no right to it whatever ; it was the free - will gift of your cousin ; and I wish you health and long life

’ to enjoy it . Therefore , don t say another word upon the subject .

0 I l l an d I , but sha l, exc aimed Harwood, shall insist that you have some of the money ; it l is on y your due , for the friendly manner in which 2 JOH N H O RNE TOOKE . 15

you reconciled me with my uncle ; and , although

don e I he has us both , that is no reason why

should neglect you . Therefore , tell me candidly, ‘ h ow s uﬂicien t to now , much will be make you comfortable ? ”

You are very kind , Harwood, said Tooke ,

I for at a word then , if had four hundred a year l I myself and the girls (his natura daughters) ,

u to e should be q ite happy , and be enabled l ave ” them independent when I am gone .

You shall have it , Tooke , said the Colonel , “ n for writi g , there is a check upon Coutts

eight thousand pounds .

of Tooke , course , returned many thanks , and the friends parted mutually pleased with each — ! other but , behold when the check was pre

sented next morning , the bearer was told that

its payment had been stopped at the bank tw o

hours before . It seems that Colonel Harwood

of had been wrought upon by some his relations , l or that he , himse f, had repented his generosity

of on e in the course short night . This treatment was worse than childish it was 2 16 S E N UPPLEM TARY ANECDOTES .

n intolerable ; and , as there were several wit esses

. o to to the gift , Mr To ke was advised throw the

f w as matter into a Court o Equity . This done ; and, as is the custom in all Chancery matters , the

ff in suite was so long deciding , that the plainti ,

at ﬁrm as he was, length ordered himself to be

on his bed carried into Court , , where he spoke his mind so freely to the Chancellor , that a decision

of was given in a few days , in his favour , course .

A . to mong other severe things , Mr Tooke said

b e Lord Eldon , that it appeared (his Lordship) determined to withhold the bread from his lips h until ehad no teeth to chew it .

Of the part taken by Mr . Tooke in advocating

of a the principles the French revolution , and ,

of Reform in the British Parliament , and his trial

for treas on to , it is unnecessary here speak ; such

matters pertaining to the province of history .

f i to It is su ﬁc ent notice , that he and his com

to panions were acquitted , the great satisfaction

-of of the public , and the honour a British jury ;

to th e but , consternation of the people in power ,

2 18 S PP R U LEMENTA Y ANE CDOTES .

180 1 In , it is well known , that Lord Camel d for procured the return of Mr . Tooke as Mem Old m ber for Sarum . He kept his seat fro

attacked to the a us R o m A t s e u n t c e of ef r . a ub s q e

meetin t is e s on o os ed t a M Tooke s ou d g , h p r pr p , h t r. h l

com os e a s eec for him on o ar s u ec w ic p p h , a p pul bj t, h h

w as s o t to de at d in the o s T is w as ac h r ly be b e h u e . h

cordin l done an d it w as de ive ed b ut it dre w fo t g y , l r ; r h n ot a s in gle Ob s ervation from any Of th e O ppos ite party ; an d th e ques tio n w as l os t w ithout any notice of the

uments it con tain d arg e . “ A n ot e w as n o os d ic M r Took e t t e e . e h r h pr p , wh h c ommen ded to be accompanied by a motion f or increas

in tbe a o th e n av On e of th e a t ema ed t at g p y f y . p r y r rk , h ’ c motion w oul d eate a mutin l ut s c . s aid u h a r y , ’ T k e is the v r t in w n M . oo e h e w a t r , y g . “ W at fo low ed it is un n eces s a to add for h l , ry ;

t ei ans w er f us t at d b th a s t f M r T oke h r pl e r r e y e rre o . o

an d his iends th e ne t da on a c e of i fr x y, harg h g h treas on !

A t an ea e iod of h is im is on ment w i e he rly p r pr , h l w a s on e day occ up ied in conj ectures on th e immediate

caus e of h is a es t an d th e n at e of th e e iden ce b rr , ur v y

w ic th e c e a ains h im w as to be s o ed one Of h h harg g t upp rt , the atten dants informed him that a p ers on w is hed to

“ a e mi b s eak to h im M r. Tooke des i ed t h e p . r h t ght

dmitted a nd a en t eman w as in oduced w os er a ; g l tr , h e p

r s on w as p artiall y con cealed in a la ge cloak .

A t a s o t ene con e s ation and the ttendan t f er h r g ral v r , a

a in w it d aw n the s n e as k ed the is one h v g h r , tra g r pr r JOHN H ORNE TOOK E . 2 19

i February unt l May , when he was compelled to

‘ vacate by the votes of the H ouse ; which de

‘ clared him incompetent to sit , on the same w h ether h e w as aw are of th e circums tan ces w hich l ed to h is a es t and Of th e e s on w h o ave th e in fo mation ? rr , p r g r

Bein an s w e ed in th e n e ati e s aid th e g r g v , ‘ s t an e I n ow a is e ou t at th e r o os al and r g r, ppr y , h p p remark made b ou on the s ub ect o increas in the y y , j f g

a o the nav fo mthe ou nd of th e c a e and th e p y f y , r gr h rg on w itnes s On w os e e viden ce t e e ec t to con ic ly , h h y xp v t

ou is that v on w o as to deliv r h h er ers h w e t e s eec . y , y p p

’ I a ma mem e of His M a es t s P i Counci amon s t b r j y r vy l , g — wh om it is in deb ate w hether tha t p ers on s hall be p ro duced as a w itn es s on the ar t o the Crow n or w hether p f , th e s hall s a er ou to call him u or the d ence an d y f y p f ef , itn es s s o con v ict y ou out of the mouth of y our ow n w .

W en t a s al a e een decided ou w ill See me h h t h l h v b , y

’ ag ain . . ’ Afte t is n o l eman s d a tu e M . Took e s en t r h b ep r r , r for t w o of his con ﬁden tia ien ds an d afte comm n i l fr , , r u

tin to t emthe c i c ums tances add es s ed on e of t em ca g h r , r h

' (a Norfolk g entleman ) to the follow ing eﬂ ect : You

o to t is s co nd e and te l h im I in ten d to mus t g h u r l , l , s ub poena h im as a w itn es s ; and you mus t repres en t to him t at u nl es s h e in te es ts ims e f ow e f u l in m , h r h l p r l y y

al f I s a l b e os t tha t m w hole de ende nce is on b eh , h l l ; y p

him as th e s t en t of m defence w i es t u on th e , r g h y ll r p

h ma addu A dd e e ment ou can evidence e y ce . v ry argu y inven t to con vin ce h im that I cons ider my life en tirely at

is me c and t t I ook u on himas m es t iend h r y , ha l p y b fr 2 2 0 S E UPPL MENTARY ANECDOTES .

grounds as those put forward by the benchers of

the Inner Temple , when they refused to call him

to the bar .

in s o t t a al l is l os t w h r h t ith out h is frien ds h ip and s u t pp or .

Th e es u t w as t a the s tron es t as s uran s o r l , h t g ce f

r iends hi w ere iven an d th e n e t mo n in the f p g , , x r g ,

Pri - Co ns e o a in is ited M T k a . oo e and in fo med vy u ll r g v r , r him th at th e coun cil h ad ﬁ n ally determined th at h e

S o ld be a ow ed to c l him for th e de ence w en th e h u ll a l f , h Attorney- Gen eral s hould elicit the neces s a ry eviden ce by

cros s - ex amination i in t i w o . A t s e v e M . To k e on the t h r , r ,

t Of ims e f and h is f iends en te ed in to s o e mn par h l r , r a l

o i ation n e er to di ul e th e aff ai u n til afte r th bl g v v g r, e

deat of th e n o eman w h o h ad t s a a ded h is ow n h bl , hu h z r

n life to s ave that of his frie d.

D u in th e in te a evio s to the t i f e uen t r g rv l . pr u r al , r q

c w n T k ’ communica tion s took pla e b et ee Mr . oo e s friends

and th e n o t e n mem e w ic he as w e as his r h r b r, by h h , ll

em o e s w e e com ete c a o ed an d w en e t ia pl y r , r pl ly j l , h t h r l

took ace t e w e e s o s u e of t ei ic tim as to av pl , h y r r h r v , h e

h ad h un dreds o w ar ran ts r ead to b e is s ed f f y , u or the

a e en s ion Of th e f ien ds of Refo m in all a ts o ppr h r r , p r f the

un t co ry .

But w at w as t ei as onis men t an d mortiﬁcation h h r t h ,

w n t e o nd te the cas e on the a of th e he h y f u , af r p rt

C ow n h ad een one t ou an d c os ed that the w it r b g hr gh , l ,

in u s tion w as ot ca lled u a t a ll t ou in nes s q e n p , h gh atte n dance and ea e to ﬁ nis his in amo s art in t is , g r h f u p h

To k e e t his cas e as it s tood in ten ded trag edy ! Mr . o l f ;

2 2 2 S UPPLEMENTA RY ANECDOTES .

Mr . Tooke possessed a comfortable competence

ow n n ot f for his family , he had a su ﬁcient income

to defray the heavy charges attendant on the en

tertain men f t o SO many guests . His friends took

upon themselves to supply his hospitable table

of ﬁs h by innumerable presents wine , , venison ,

and game of all kinds .

F or . Sir Francis Burdett , Mr Tooke felt a

strong attachment ; and the Baronet was not

for backward in evincing him , in return , the most

mo cordial and ardent friendship . I n his last

ff to ments , it a orded him great satisfaction Observe

Sir Francis , and others most dear to him , sur

i . round ng his bed Having fallen into a lethargy , a n d to being supposed be entirely insensible , his

‘ l for i friend mixed up a cordia him, wh ch Mr .

n ot C live and Dr . Pearson advised him to admi

n o nister , as it would be to purpose ; but the n Baronet persevering , and raisi g Mr . Tooke , the

w h o ff latter Opened his eyes , and seeing O ered

t a the draught , ook the glass and eagerly dr nk off the con tents . Home Tooke was cheerful and facetious to JOHN H O RN E TOOKE . 2 2 3 the last : when informed that he had but a short

n ot time to live , he observed, that he should

w h o to be like the man , being condemned die at

t o th e Strasburg, requested time pray , until patience Of the magistrates was exhausted ; and w h o r , afte wards , as a last expedient, begged their permission to close life by a game at his fav ourite amusement Of n in e pins but who kept bowling on n ot to , resolved ﬁnish the game until the hour for execution was past .

He particularly desired to be buried in his garden at Wimbledon that n o funeral ceremony

Should take place on the occasion ; but that he

Should be borne to the grave by six Of the poorest men in the parish each of whom was to receive

on e . n ot guinea These wishes , however , were

to complied with , his friends judging it be more proper that his body shoul d be deposited in the family vault at Ealing . It is surprising that a man Of Tooke ’s liberal

and exp anded mind Should have made s o unequal

a distribution of his property among his children .

a For some reason , known only to himself, he p M pointed his daughter , ary Heart , his sole exe 2 2 4 S E UPPLEM NTA RY ANECDOTES .

‘ cutrix to of , and bequeathed her the whole his

ff on e or tw o estate and e ects , except hundred

pounds to her sister

u n Horne Tooke , tho gh a man Of liberal se ti

s o a ments , was far despot in his family , that the

i to inmates were afraid somet mes speak , move .

or f do any thing which might of end him . O n

’ on e n occasion , Sir Francis Burdett s house bei g

’ ’

O C on n or . full , slept at Tooke s Next morn

- ing , coming into the breakfast room , and having o saluted the family , he sat down at a little r und

. ac table with Mr Tooke , where the latter was customed to breakfast alone .

d n u His daughters , seeing this , appeare very

' to th e to Sit easy , and made signs stranger at the

’ n O C on n or . 0 o large table , ; said , I am very well here—I shal l breakfast with my Old friend .

S ou . O y shall, rebel , said Mr Tooke , burst

ing into a loud laugh , and enjoying the embar

men t : n ras s Of his daughters Girls , bri g

’ ’ O C on n or s to m l : G —d l cup y tab e by rebel ,

2 2 6 S PP R CDO S U LEMENTA Y ANE TE .

was a coward . I should have made but a bad ” for soldier , said he , one day , laughing , I have

been all my life a complete coward : bravery is engendered by a long habit of fearlessness Of

danger, in a heart naturally bold ; I never had

much of this sort Of stamina ; and , during the

w hich I restless life have led, the little portion

out Of courage I possessed , oozed at my ﬁnger

ends , from the continual fret and worry in which

l ou I have been kept . I will te l y the boldest ,

a the bravest , the most cour geous thing I ever did in my whole life . I was at a meeting at

adv o Croydon , where , having stood forward to

cate a certain question , I was sharply attacked

Of P by a fellow Of the name hillips ; but, how

a ever , I gave him such dressing in reply, that , even whilst I went on tearing him in pieces at h t every sentence , I was actually afraid t a he

w or would horse hip me when I had done , send

me a challenge to ﬁght him . A pretty thing ,

ers on s by the bye , it would be to see two p ,with

”

- a pair Of pistols under their arms y Saldt ing each

at h Our of ' ﬁ ve other , the early , on a cold frosty J O H N H ORN E TOOKE . 2 2 7

! 0 er d Rev en . morning , yes , I gave the Mr l Phil ips such a drubbing , that even I myself was

' surprised at it .

Did his Reverence take no notice Of it then ? ” ! G—d ! Not a word , faith By he was as m ! great a coward as I was yself But , let me

f her oic tell you , Sir,the af air was no less on my

as part ; for I thought him brave as a lion , and I dare say my words made him think the same

of . ou me I assure y , Sir , it requires no small — degree of pluck when you have n ot the law at — your back to heard a stout b ully - looking fellow to his very teeth ; when , perhaps , the next morn mg he may send a bul let through your " brains .

A D SHALL N WILL .

on e An Irish gentleman speaking day to Mr .

Tooke on the propensity Of many of his ow n

u a ll co ntrymen , and Scotchmen , to use the word w ill s ha ll - instead of , and vice versa , inquired of him what rule ought to be followed to avoid

” falling into this kind of blunder ?

Q 2 SU PPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

f It is merely a matter o taste , answered

Ou the grammarian but , if y wish to make your

' f an E n liSh in an th e b es t l sel understood by g , ru e

Of you can adopt , that I know , is, when you

w ill ﬁnd yourself inclined to use the word , say

s ha ll and when s hall comes to the tip of your ”

w ill . tongue , stop it, and say

of v But that is a rule contrary , obser ed

' ' w uld the gentleman . I wish you o be so good

for as to give me a reason , as I am apt to make

of this sort mistake , I should be glad to have

something impressed on my mind which would

be a kind of beacon to preven t me from com ” mitting myself. S HALL is a verb , and may be Englished by

mus t. idea Take care then Of the , and look at f the power o the nominative .

— to w ill WILL is also a verb , and is , simply ,

or des ir e.

But there may be actions that are in diffe

rent either to compuls ion or des ir e. These are

m l e utures ma s i , , p f and might be expressed by , y

’ for m or may happen . We want a word this s i

l e utur e ar Of p f , and e compelled , in lieu a bet

SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

every night and it is curious , he added ,

on e that night, just as he had said Clubs were

’ ! w on m l trumps and the ga e , he fel back in his chair -and expired

n ot i Curran , who had yet sa d a good thing , instantly observed, Baronet , you surely have made a mistake : he must have said Sp ades were trumps and pointed signiﬁcantly to

n of d . wards the ground , as if i the act igging J OH N PHI LPOT CURRAN . 2 31

O O U A J HN PHILP T C RR N .

J O PH I PO C on e H N L T URRAN was , on occasion ,

’ of Brookes s the subject conversation at , when

ral m of seve a using anecdotes were related his wit , i Of w h ich eloquence, and ingenuity ; a few are as follow f . Le an u o t . Mrs , sister Mr Sheridan , was very fond Of dramatic entertainments and at on e time had a very neat private theatre ﬁtted up at her

ow n . Of D ou las house The play g being cast, the

l w h o a t w oma n hostess herse f, was a remarkablyf , chose to enact the part Of Lady Randolph ; and hand- bills were accordingly distributed among the amateurs and their friends , announcing the per

—O n forman ce . the morning of the day on which

n the entertainme t was to take place , a gentleman

. tu d met Mr Curran , who had just re rne from a 2 32 S UPPLEMENTARY AN ECDOTES .

l an d of professiona tour , begged the favour his f ’ company that night to Mrs . Le an u s at the same time telling him that the lady herself was

going to perform ; and bidding him guess what part s h e had chosen 2 ” ! n O n e What part replied Curra , of the

Gr am ian hills e — I p , I suppos know no other

part in the play that will suit her .

In 1 9 0 Of the year 7 , the representation the

County of Down was strongly disputed between

s on B i an d the eldest Of the then Lord lsborough , the late Lord Castlereagh and amongst the

. W lawyers engaged for the occasion , was Mr illiam

’ of Downes , afterwards Chief Justice the King s

r Bench . Previously to his s eptin g out fo Down

atriek M r . e p , Downes happen d to meet Curran ,

to whom he mentioned that he was retained for

on e ' of the parties and added, that he was sorry

to understand that much ill - will was expected to display itself—insomuch that it was not unlikely but that the partisans of the candidates would pro ” d to a cee . duelling and bloodshed For my p rt,

continued he , I shall keep clear Of every subject

but that connected with my professional duties .

2 34 SUPPLEM E NTARY ANECDOTES . whom he met ; and was not a little confounded k when the latter , readily ta ing the joke , burst into a loud laugh at his simplicity , and told him

instead Of continuing his researches among the

to un booksellers , to step across the street a g

’ mith s s ho s p , where he would ﬁnd the case in a minute It is well known that the gentlemen Of the Irish bar have a Species of wit peculiar to them — — selves , dry and sarcastic acquired, in a great

of measure , from their habit examining witnesses

Nis i- Pr ius on at which occasions , they are not

al only obliged to exert all their talents , but actu ly to proceed like inquisitors ; by indulging in the

n &c . on ra kest abuse Of the witnesses , the Oppo i site side . Th s , indeed, has been so much the

u c case , that one naccustomed to such ases; might imagine the witness to be on his tr ial before a — court competent to extort confession s The bar

n ot rister , therefore , relies so much on the justice

. of his f caus e on th e of , as dexterity puzzling his o Of n es s e pponent ; and in this sort ﬁ , either party

the is seldom restrained by judge ; who , when a m barrister had , Of course , pursued the sa e plan J N 2 5 O H PHILPOT C URRAN . 3

himself. This very censurable practice makes the

t dis Irish barrister , in many instances , a mos

for Of agreeable companion , with all his knack

- story telling, he is so addicted to contradiction ,

of and to the habit putting crooked, inconvenient , an d disagreeable questions , even upon the most unimportant subjects , that a stranger would sup pose every assertion required little short of an

b cros s - ex amina oath to ensure elief, and prevent

tio n.

on e to Curran was , at period , addicted this species Of ill - manners but his exuberant wit at length obviated the necessity of resorting to such contemptible means Of displaying his importance .

be ro es s i on al At the bar , however , retained the p f ha bit 0 3 , and frequently played the most severe

s jokes and sarcasm , where discretion and kind words would have done honour to his head and — heart . But no conqueror was ever yet heard of, w h o on all Off Of , occasions , carried the palm

n ow w rum victory . Curran and then met ith a

to oor customer , whom, in attempting ﬂ , he him self was tripped up . — bi A d in , young cornet , quartere Du l n being in 2 36 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

Of want a charger , bought one from a horse

’ a of de ler of the name Giles , who kept a celebrated horse - bazaar and livery - stables in the neighbour

al hood of the barracks . The anim was warranted

’ our ear s old on perfectly sound , and f y , but ,

draded i being p , he was recognised as a campa gner Of at least sixteen years standing !

u The yo ng gentleman went to his colonel , and

ad related all the circumstances , requesting his vice ; and the latter recommended him to return i l the horse immed ately . The anima was accord in l u to g y taken by a dragoon to Giles , who ref sed m receive him ; whereupon , the co et begged far

to ther advice from the colonel , who told him

l e to - have the horse again d the livery stables , and let go into the yard ; then , to bring an action at

Of law for the recovery the amount .

r This was done , and Mr . Cu ran was retained

' for the cornet .

’ l ff s When the tria came on , and the plainti case

’ u Giles s gone thro gh , hostler , well known in

i Of n M s D ubl n by the name Bli ker icky , becau e

’ on e blind Of eye , appeared in the witness s box ,

' ready to swear through thick and thin for the

2 38 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

ick M . . y That same time , Sir

Curr an Tell us how many months ?

k r M ic . o y About ﬁfteen sixteen , your honour .

Curran . Years .

’ ‘ O n ot Mick . y , by the holy you ll ﬂoor me

: ou that way neither y have no need , counsellor , ” to help me up before I am down .

Curr an . I ask your pardon , Micky all the ” world knows you are an upright boy . ”

k . M ic y . Thank your honour

r n — m Cur a . But come . Mick y honest fel

’ low —d n on t belie Black Drogheda , and thi k to

- chouse him out of his birth right . D o you mean

” to say that he is not of ag e ?

M ick . y He is , plase your honour, and

- well behaved for his years .

m! a n ! u Cu . o Ah y are a good lad , Mick .

You ha mean to say, then , that he s arrived at the years of discretion ? ”

M ic k . y There is not a genteeler , nor a dis cruter v charger in the ser ice , your h o ” nour .

Curran . d How long has he serve , Mick ? J 2 OHN PHILPOT CURRAN . 39

’l‘ M ick O ar mer l y . , by the holy f now , I know nothing at all at all about any service but

’ Giles w h o Mr . s ; and he is the man will give ” me a crakter any day I ax him .

It is w ell k now n th at the l ow er orders of the Iris h are muc addicted to s w ea in t e actice t is b ad a it h r g h y pr h h b ,

ow e s o muc in common arlance t a t e a d h ev r, h p , h t h y h r ly

es e e an oat s ufﬁ cient ow e l or e es s ive of r rv y h l y p rfu , xpr an e or dis ike w en t e a en to fa l in to io en t g r l , h h y h pp l v l

a o s ms of a e in t is articu a t e efo e t e p r xy r g ; h p l r, h r r , h y diff er from th e p eople of al l other n ations and res em bl e onl th e B itis s eaman w ho mean s nothin at eas y r h , g , l t i n o a m w en he s w ea s th e mos t o d oat s . Padd h r , h r h rr h y h as th e advantag e of J ack in on e poin t his as s evera tion s and e ve n c s es ave s omet in in t em eit e , ur , h h g h , h r

w i t or dic o s or at eas t an tit etic to th e s ect t y, lu r u , , l , h ubj ’ he is en ar in on w i s t th e s ai o s w o s t n at emas l g g h l l r r a h , t ou eccen t ic are ene a oin tles s and con s a h gh r , g r lly p , ,

ent s s ik th e id w ind w ic w e e a d qu ly, pa by, l e le , h h r g r ” n ot . ” n —The O ne w ord more on Curs ing and S w eari g . Cath ol ics of Ireland (n o dis p arag emen t) are more

addic ed to t is a i t n th e P otes tants ticu t h h b t ha r , par larly - the Pres byterian and Methodis tical portion of th e com

n it but few even of the mos t itanica of th e mu y ; a , pur l

atte s ometime s indul e w e s os e b w a of reli ; l r, g , upp y y ef

but on s c occas ions t cont ive to e ade th e l au , u h , hey r v gh “ f th e s co n e mincin tbc ma tter t s for B o r r, by g ; hu , y ” ” — a hol B t fa mer ! — ead the hokey l re d y . y he h oly r r

h &c . a t er &c . f , 2 40 E R SUPPL MENTA Y ANECDOTES .

l M . Curran . Shal I call r Giles to your cha

racter ? , Mick

’ of — M icky . By the ghost my father 3 ye re

n o ou such fool , counsellor ; y are the man that

knows a kirog e from a carr ot .

l . Curran . Wel , but Mick . will you venture

to swear that Black Drogheda h as seen n o more years than four ? ”

M ick . y How could I , your honour

’ Mightn t he have been blin d before we bought him ? ” (Here there was a loud laugh at Curran ’s ex pense . )

urr an To M — C . the point, icky will you ” swear he is n o more than four years old ?

’

M ick . of y Who is he yer honour s talking , plase yer reverence ? ”

(Another burst of laughter . ) I n this manner did Curran and Micky keep it u car te tier ce p for half an hour , and ; Micky giving Curran many a hit ; himself untouched The during the whole time . barrister at length

u t of anxiously so ght an oppor unity throwing him ,

n and leaving him on the ground dema ding , how

2 42 SUPPLEMENTARY AN ECDOTES .

him bank notes for one hundred pounds , which

ne were to be paid as aﬁ .

uarters at Having taken up his q an inn , he requested the landlord to take care of his money for him, as he wished to go and look about the t city , and to treat himself to the theatre tha evening . Mine host readily undertook the pre cions charge but when , next morning , the farmer had spruced himself up to attend the landlord’s

n on levee , what was his astonishme t , asking

n n for his mo ey, to hear the villai ous land ' l ord den or y any knowledge of him , his hundred pounds ! ” l ou By the holy said he , y gave me no

money ; and , by the powers no money shall you have bac

n ot mas th ur ! Sure , and it s in arnest ye are , C said the ountryman , turning pale at the pros

peot of losing his treasure; then recovering him

f w a m of sel , he continued , ith s ile, expressive

’

e r d f a and oubt , Bad luck to your jokes at this t —m present wri ing ake haste , man , and give me

’ ’ the notes , else I ll be late , and I won t have my

lase signed at all . J OH N PHILPOT CURRAN . 2 43

o f ou or I know nothing y y our lase, replied t h e dl lan ord .

Oh murdh er ! , exclaimed the farmer , does

des aiv e to my eyesight me , hear the swindling t to n ief going for de y that I gave him the money,

too and that , , unknownst to any one , for the

” e ntire safety ?

’ ’ It s yourself that s the swindler , to come for

for to ax me money that I never seen , retorted

’ mine host . But Dublin s not the plaice fo r ye

’ t o come and play yer th ricks in ; an d ye ll ﬁnd

’ we re n ot to be caught so aisy : so take yourself

’ o ff or ! the , ye robber , , by the holy I ll send for police this blessed minute , and swear a highway robbery against ye, and have ye put into Newgate , and hanged for that same .

c w The poor ountryman , transﬁxed ith asto

ment n is h and horror , was for some time unable

to u to reply , but continued regard his pl nderer

c - z— at with a va ant stare, and Open mouth length J he found words, and exclaimed, The holy asus

' ‘ keep me from all mortal sin ! Ou nly hear to the

’

. h av u tice of false tory robber But I ll g i s ye , ye

’ m or urdering tief of the world , if there s law, R 2 2 44 R SUPPLEM ENTA Y AN ECDOTES .

e or n justice , or judg , jury , to be had in Dubli ” c e ty. e Having utt red this threat , he pressed his hat i

down v olently over his forehead , and , clenching

his hands in agony , rushed out into the street , the

of on for very picture despair . After walking

of some time , the poor fellow bethought him

making his complaint to on eof the judges at the

F n e of our Courts , the mag iﬁc nt structure which he had admired during his peregrination the day

a before , and where he had learned that the s ges of

s at for of the law daily , the administration justice .

Although his topographical knowledge of th e

e ' city was very slender , he soon recogniz d _the

a wliere famous spot , and boldly entered the h ll ,

of attorn ies he soon mixed with the throng , clients ,

i ' u imd witnesses , and barristers , that paraded p

n o on e down ; but , seeing who was likely to give

or him either advice assistance , he was about

on e of a entering the Courts , which was also gre tly

f r auth ori crowded , when an o ﬁce told him , in an

tativ e a a . ex os tu tone , to st nd b ck The farmer p fﬁ lated , but in vain ; for the man in o ce , learning that he had n o business with the cause which was

2 46 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

’ ' I m hanged for the murder , sure it s better than e ” to b robbed entirely . The ofﬁcer ’s curiosity was excited by the vio

’ lence of the poor man s emotions ; and he in quired who it was that had robbed him .

The farmer replied , Him , sure , as keeps the

’ carman s inn down there , in the place they calls

Ston ba ter ey t .

’ Oﬂicer . But there are several carmen s — in n s z what is his name ? — F armer . I His name , Sur , is Rooney

’ — ’ don t know his Ch ris th un name ; but that s

’ ' ” what s painted on the sign of the house .

O cer . ﬁ What , Nick Rooney , that keeps

‘ ’ " the King William 0 Horseback By jakers ! i d—d my good fellow, you are fallen nto bad

’ s —O Old hand nly come across Nick , and he ll

divil play the with ye . Nick Rooney is the

a all worst villain , and the biggest bl ckguard , in

, ’ Dublin city ; and that s saying a great dale any how . What has he robbed you of ?

r — Fa mer . On e hundred pound bad luck to the villain 2 4 JO H N PHILPOT CU R RAN . 7 — cer W — a Oﬁ . hat hundred pound how ” did Nick rob you of that same ?

F armer I gave him the notes last night

’ to keep safe for me ; an when I ax ed him for ! d ’ them this morning , by the powers if he idn t ’ — deny clane that ever I giv d them to him the ” false murderer that he is .

Oﬁ cer . But had ye no witness to that same

Farmer . Is it a witness that ye mane , mas

— divil w thur Sure , the a itness in life was there

’ but myself and Roo ney . I d no notion the bloodthirsty spalpeen would have th ricked me ’m out of the notes , and so I gived ther to him

revin t privately , to p myself from being robbed by th e Dublin thieves . ! O cer . t ﬁ By the holy St . Proker here

’ a isn t a bigger thief in all Irel nd than Rooney, and ye may take your afﬁdavit of that same — But I ’m

’ ’ sorry ye haven t got no witness , because , d ye

’ s ee l n ot , ye l be able to prove that ye gave the villain the money to keep .

’ rmer v ar in ! I ll Fa . By the holy g take my oath of it . 24 8 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

O cer . for ou ﬁ True , y , my good friend

’ but that isn t enough to convict the robber .

’ ’ I m afraid ye ll n ot be able to recover your ” money .

Fa rmer h on ou Oc e l. s a . and is it that y y — — ” What will I do what w ill I do ?

er Oﬁ c . By the holy powers ! a thought is — just come across me z Counsellor Curran is the

’ boy for your money ; if there s a man in Dublin

’

do t . can , the counsellor is the man Be aisy with yourself now , and step across to Bill Mur

’ ’ - phy s , at the Haymow and Pitch fork . I ll come

’ to a ye when the Court rises , and I ll t ke ye to

’ the counsellor without any more delay . He s as

Old or Div il cunning as Nick , even the himself ;

' ’ ’ b et e Of but and , I ll y the worth the notes , he ll ” get them back for ye .

’ mas thur — a rmer . to F Long life ye , I ll do

’ that same ; an d it s not for to spake of the . reward

’ ” I ll give ye .

’

cer . n o Oﬂi Don t spake Of reward , my

’ ’ good friend , I m happy to serve ye ; and I ll be s till more so , to see that thief Rooney burnt alive for to his r obberies . He once refused trust me

2 50 SUPPLEMEN TA R Y ANEC DOTE S .

ideas which any matter of importance invariably

produces in the muddy brain of an uneducated

Irishman .

v You Ha ing settled his tactics , he said say , my friend, that this Rooney denies the receipt of the bank notes

’ m w urchi h e Far er . s I do , yer p ; and a

- i or th ra t . false , black hearted for that same

o You have n witness continued Curran .

’ mer — F ar . None , my lord the more s the Pity

urr an . n C Are you willi g , then , to be guided entirely by my advice ? i r eo ; en F a m . Yer honour may swear that tirely. “ Curran - You l . wi l take no step but as I direct you ? ”

’ a n d Farmer . I ll trust myself the entire

’ of w ur thing to the direction yer s h ip s .rev eren ce

’ and I ll not do n or say nothing but what yer honour will tell me is right .

Curr an . . Very well Now, do you think it

t possible , by going back to Wha part of the count ry do you come fr om ? 2 5 1 J OHN PHILPOT CU R R AN .

’ F a m r er . My native plaice , when I m at

Gall a h er t h e home , my lord, is g , in county of ” r Tippera y .

u u s C rran . Very well do yo think it po si

u ble by going there , that you co ld raise , borrow ,

n beg , or steal a other hundred pounds , and be back here in a few days

’ Farmer m — . O urdh er l if , it s a hundred

otatees ais il pounds of p ye mane , I could do it y ;

’ un o but as to money , I ve a notion its entire p s ” sible .

Curran . But cannot your relatives as sist you ? You will require it only for a few days ; and I give you my word that you shall take it back to Tipperary ; as I hope you shall the hun dred pounds that you have lost .

' F armer I v e Sure got an ould uncle, my

’ ’ ow n a mother s brother , that s worth oce n s

’

0 for . money, and its worth trying , yer honour

Cur r an o Certainly g then , without delay

u un for say to your ncle that one hundred po ds , a

wil s ee t few days , l make your fortune ; and hat

i s oul you do not mention your loss to a liv ng

C - ' I ’ l but come to me the In st an t yOu feturn . I l 2 52 SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC DOTES .

take care that the farm shal l remain open until

ou y come back .

’ a F rmer . Long life to yer honour s reve

’ ’ ’ rence I ll do that same ; an I ll be back in a ” ff . ji y, without any delay in life

th e of re The farmer , buoyed up by prospect gaining his Iost treasure , departed in good spirits for the county of Tipperary ; and played his part so well as to return in a few days with the

u n eedf l .

l ' . atter s ent Having waited on Mr Curran , the

for dl - immediately the frien y door keeper , whom he instructed to accompany the countryman to

’ Of Rooney s , in order to witness the deposit the f second bundle o bank n otes . He directed the

. farmer to plead mistake an d intoxication in re

claim an d to gard to his former , _ apologize accord

’ in gly : also to say that he h ad returned to the

' his mon e country, where he had found y ; and

. that he was desirous of making amends for fbis

of former suspicion his honesty , by now deposit in g the money in his hands until the morrow ;

u n ot as he was tired with his journey, and co ld transact his business with the landlord that even

2 54 SUPPLE M ENTA RY AN E C DOTES .

Mis tur l R claimed , Troth , Nicho as ooney , and it is not myself would be after trusting such an old Belzebub as you are with any money at

M for a to all . uch better , sure , the f rmer lend

’ me a hold of the ﬁims ies ; for I m an hones t

’ ’ man ev ry inch , and I ll keep them as safe for him as if they were lodged in the Bank Of Ire

” l an d.

! By the holy replied the farmer, but

’ e has te ye re a mighty d cent sort of a brute now, to be after thinking that I would trust my money w id you th at I never before sat eyes on . And b s u . a i re , Mr Rooney ought to give ye a gre t g ” a h atin g for the d rty suspicion upon his hono ur .

of u Of Get out my ho se , you thief the ” d f e world , roare out the landlord to the o ﬁc r ;

’ what d ye mane by it, Sur

’ ” A e y, bad manners t y , rejoined the coun

’ t r man e com i y , what d y mane , Sur , by put ng to

Mr . Rooney that he is a robber, and the likes

’ o f ? r on dacen c that But , ba ring yer y, isn t

ers elf there y there to the fore, ye spalpeen , to

’ bear w itness that I giv d him the money ? Get

’ ’ out ye blackguard it s like enough ye re a s w in O 2 J HN PHILPOT CURRAN . 55

’ l r e rs elf e . y , and ye re trying at this moment to pick my pocket : but I knows the th ricks of

Dublin , I can tell ye . The ofﬁcer now saw that it was his turn to make an apology which he did by swearing that ff what he had said was only a j oke , and no O ence in life ; after which he cal led for a noggin of

. tr whiskey , and took his departure The coun y l man , ikewise , after a short refreshment , bent his e l st ps towards Ely P ace , where he reported pro gress to Mr . Curran . ” n ow Very well , said the counsellor ;

a lon e go back to the inn , and tell Rooney

that you have been informed your land

- lord sails for England to morrow morning, and

that you want the money now for , that the only

chance you have of getting your lease renewed ,

n is by havi g it done this evening .

Away hied the farmer, not well knowing what

. ’ to mak e of his director s manoeuvres ; but he

i l ut his re punct lious y exec ed message , and soon

: r turned with the money Rooney , though sor y

to let the booty out Of his grasp , was too well

aware Of the consequences of denying a tran s ac 2 56 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

e tion , to which there had b en (what he thought)

acc d even an i en ta l witness .

On t on putting the no es down the table , Curran

his . thus addressed client Well , now, my

s o n ow ot friend , so far , well we have g the rascal

fast .

The Lord above be praised for all his tinder

w marcies replied the countryman ; but, ith

’ ’ ’ w urchi s your p honour s lave , may I be so

to ob s arv e bould as , that the villain still boulds ” the money he ﬁrst tuck from me . ” NO such thing ! returned Curran : Why

’ l ou you b undering blockhead, don t y see that this is theﬁ r s t hundred poun ds ; and that you have

do to - o nothing to , morrow morning , but to g with your witness , and claim the hundred you ” left with him to d ay ?

The holy v argin and the blessed saints be .

ou Mis th ur of good unto y , Curran , all the days your life , replied the farmer ; ye advise the

’ right thing any h ow and I ll do that same sure ” ' e n ough . ' f Accordingly , next day, the biter found himsel

th e bit , when countryman arrived with the Ofﬁcer

2 58 E D SUPPLEM NTARY ANEC OTES .

barbarous kind . As Curran was passing it on e

on n morning horseback, he met a frie d just oppo

“ w h o s site to the house , a ked him if he could

inform him to what order Of architecture the

- . Tus k an u n pillars belonged To the , most ” questionably , replied Curran . Of some of the jests that had been attributed

. n to him , he disclaimed the paternity Amo gst

’ these was aj e u d esp rit which belonged to Par

‘ . M Nall sons y had a very handsome daughter ,

w h o was the subject Of considerable assiduities fr om the ofﬁcers garrisoned in Dublin . He di i peremptorily scouraged their ﬂ rtatious . H ow

‘ ’ M Nall s u ever, one night , after y ho sehold had

of retired to rest, a party hussars assembled under

or Of ei her windows , and , two three them b ng m usicians , serenaded her with a series of impas i s ion ed melodies . These were but l ttle to

‘ ’ M Nall s y taste , who , in a ﬁt Of sudden irritation ,

n threw Ope the sash , and showered upon the

s minstrels a most unsavoury tream from a vase,

which mus t not be par ticular ized . The gentle

e u io men , upon whom thes nwelcome distillat ns

to al had descended , began t k very indignantly , J OHN PHI LPOT CU RRAN . 2 59

‘ M Nall a n d Of revenging it as a deadly affront . y

too felt conscious Of having gone rather far , and ,

having communicated the matter to Parsons ,

asked him what apology he ought to make them ,

if they insisted on his making one . Pshaw

said Parsons , tell them that they came unin

v ited ou ot- luck guests , and y had nothing but p to

give them . Whilst Curran was keeping his terms in the

Temple , he attended, as he told us , for the sake of on mere curiosity , a debating society carried by a few persons who had more ingenuity than

or w r money , and once t ice he took pa t in their

’ - debates . The society was held at Coach makers

a d H ll , and was Open to the public, the a mission

being Sixpence . Curran replied to three or four

but n ot orators , knowing how to designate them

by their names , he was driven to the necessity of particularizing them by some distinguishing

F or characteristic Of their dress . instance , he l al uded to them thus I by no means concur,

of . Sir , in the Observations the gentleman whose

coat is out at elbows . He has been ably and s 2 2 6 DO 0 SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC TES . satisfactorily refuted by the Speaker who followed him ; and, in my Opinion , he has derived but faint assistance from the gentleman with the hole in his black breeches .

2 62 SUPPLEM ENTARY ANEC DOTES .

' Liverpool were constantly there . It was a

of e too grand display eloquence , som what , indeed ,

for measured , and monotonous , Mackintosh was

lu u r r hetor p s q am o a tor e . His style was disci plin ed in the school Of Robertson and Gilbert

too too; Stuart , who , by cold a correctness , and

Of religious an adherence to the laws propriety, had converted English into an almost foreign language . It was unidiomatic English , and, the want of idiom (for idiom constitutes the muscular

of our n com strength to gue) , emasculated their positions . The lectures , however , manifested

ov erﬂow ed most unlimited reading , and with every kind Of learning . They embraced an im measurable ﬁeld . They almost began with the creation ; and the cardinal principles of natural

’ logic , and an inquiry into the history of man s

intellectual powers , borrowed, perhaps, from

Cudworth , occupied at least six lectures . Mack

intosh delighted his class , also , by the embellish ments which he threw over these abstruse and

uninvitin g inquiries . He ascribed the doctrine Of

. the association of ideas to Hobbes , as its dis

coverer ; forgetting that Hobbes had it directly AN D E 63 MACKINTOSH BURK . 2

. u from Aristotle Coleridge , after his lect re was

ﬁnished, set him right , and Mackintosh had the

candour to acknowledge his error to th e class . His hearers were amused with delightful quota f tions from the Roman classics , which were lowers

scattered over the severe subject of jurisprudence ,

that made it at once fascinating and impres sive .

e l to of In this , he addict d himse f the plan Grotius ,

w h o Of D e J ur e embellished every page his , with

citations from the Greek and Latin writers , poets , f tragedians, and philosophers ; and he pro essed ,

in this respect, to have imitated that eminent

* writer , upon whom , in his introductory lecture ,

n there is the ﬁ est panegyric that was ever Spoken , m or com itted to paper . But yet there was something that was felt to be — It i . wanting was d scourse , but not logic He did not seem to stand upon a sound and secure

basis Of ratiocination . Had his doctrines been

th e Of th e submitted to perusal class , instead of bein g conﬁned to the slight and transient impres

S ee Dis co s e on th e Law of Natu e an d Nations ur r ,

as an I nt od ction to Cou s e of L c tu es &c . Sec . &c . r u a r e r ,

B J ames M ackintos Es . Cadell lS Ol . y h , q f 2 64 A n s SUPPLEMENT RY AN Ec or E .

o of n si n the ear , these defects would have bee

more apparent . The happiest topics , upon which

the lecture touched , were , I think , the masterly

disquisitions on the theory of Mr . Godwin .

d o to Indee , propositi ns , which laid the axe the

of old i l ~ root SO many and st ll preva ent opinions ,

n refu were regarded with ge eral distrust , and the

tation s Of the lecturer were , therefore , favourably

received .

A of bout the period these lectures , Mackintosh

n was on the circuit . He had left his wife ear her

accouchement. But that accouchement pro

duc ed a most portentous augmentation of his

or . domestic bliss , rather his domestic inquietudes

h is It was as important an omen to fortunes ,

n ot which at that time were prosperous , as the

of tr i in ta litter of the sow imperial augury , g ” mil l/er a na tos of cir cu , was to the future fortunes

for Rome . He was anxiously looking letters at

on e con Bedford . At Huntingdon , he received ,

gratulatin g him upon the birth Of a ﬁne boy

The next circuit town is Cambridge . There he

- Ofﬁce an found another dispatch at the post ,

of n ou n cing the birth a second . It was with a

2 66 R D SUPPLEMENTA Y ANEC OTES .

Of s econ d Bes t . But Mackintosh ﬁred over their

heads . He had not the faculty (an inval uable

on e of or ) stating any thing with conciseness ,

epigrammatic neatness . From the dry merits of a case , a certain centrifugal quality in his

for genius , ever kept him widely aloof. In

t - shor , Nisi Prius pleading was by no means his element . He wanted a wider sea to disport his

to leviathan length , and play his gigantic gambols . l — ff Had his juridica progeny Grotius, Pu endorf,

V attel and , arrived at manhood (these birds of

u n i t jurispr dence were p by an untimely fate) , they

d to might , perhaps , have been isciplined the strict trammels Of Westminster - Hall ; but Nature had not been consulted, when Mackintosh chose the bar for the exercise Of his rare and extraor “

din ar l . h l y ta ents When he had an up il case, he

of had not the art concealing his perplexity , and

to n often had recourse a long speech , i the wan derin s g of which , he lost sight Of the point at issue ; or to laborious and clumsy efforts at being

o Of j cose , a turn mind which belonged least to

Mackintosh than to any man living . With law, too a or , as a technic l science , with what is usually 2 6 MACKINTOSH AND BURKE . 7

a of c lled the practice the court , he was almost H i . e unt nctured had , therefore , considerable

a i disadvant ges to contend w th at the bar .

I remember well hearing from a member Of the Norfolk circuit , who was Sitting next to

r of Har y Blackstone , (a sound lawyer that day , and a well - known reporter in the Common

Pleas , ) and near enough to overlook what he was e writing , wh n his duty as junior enjoined him to take notes of a speech which Mackintosh was delivering in an ejectment cause , that poor Black

u stone , who was making every str ggle to follow him , at last growled in despair , and wrote in the folds of his brief Here Mr . Mackintosh talked so much nonsense , that I was obliged to throw — down the pen , accompanying the remark with

an d l a correspondent gesture , actual y jerking the pen across the table, and folding up his papers .

Yet there were cases , involving high and

of general questions jurisprudence , in which Mac kin tos h was extremely powerful . His speech for Peltier , who was prosecuted during the weak

a of and inc pable administration Lord Sidmouth ,

’ ‘ for a libel on Buonaparte ; h as bé en deemed a 2 68 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

f U n ues masterpiece o eloquence and reason . q tion abl n ot y it was a great production , but it was

to to r adapted a jury ; for a ju y Mackintosh , in

of how to o. the slang the courts , never knew g

Its merits were transcendently great , but they were relative only . The general topics Of Buona ’ i parte s restless and untameable ambition , his g

an tic of g usurpations , the liberty the press , and the impolicy Of instituting such prosecutions at

n of w h o the i stance a potentate , had left nothing undone to complete and to consolidate his enor

th e of s mons domination , but extinction the la t

to remaining free press , that yet existed plead the cause of the civilized world these were urged with most Splendid effect . U l nhappily , however , amidst all this b aze Of

e eloquence , poor Peltier himself, who had engag d an d to paid the advocate defend him , was wholly

His overlooked . defence scarcely peeped forth , m if I may use the phrase , fro under a massy accumulation of general discussions of policy and

an d tw o justice , the international rights Of the

’ countries . The innocent quality of Peltier s

n w h o merel a imadversions , was v remarking upon

2 0 DO 7 SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC TES .

Of w i to purpose Sho ing his sk ll in an atomy , cut ” b ack and the system in general .

A s a writer , Mackintosh has been variously

w estimated . His ﬁrst work a s the celebrated i Vi n dicice Gall cw . This was afterwar ds followed

l t hi F a i by a sma ler tract , in a let er to Sir P lip r nc s ,

- on . l n Parliamentary Reform It _fell sti l bor from

. Of o n o the press the former w rk , it would t be

h ow Of n easy to say , much its merit was ge uine

h ow adv en and intrinsic , and much casual and

titious . a Most happily for its reputation , it p

peared at a period when party feelin gs were

’ intensely excited , and when Burke s sublime and almost inspired Commentary upon the French

ff s o en eral Revolution , di used . g a despair amongst

t n u its par isa s , that scarcely any champion wo ld be found hardy enough to descend into th e arena

’ against that fearful adversary . Mackintosh s tract appeared, and instantly overtopped the whole brood of answerers , whose ephemeral exist

w as ence it speedily extinguished. It universally read , and admired to enthusiasm by those who

u . Y f had embraced the popular ca se et, a ter 2 1 MACKINTOSH AND BURKE . 7

ﬂow Of Burke, the its sentences was cold and regular , and even its most ﬁnished passages

u few seemed nimpassioned and lifeless . The

l or ﬂowers that adorned it , showed pale and sick y ; , in their gaudiest hues , seemed as if they were i forced and stercoraceous . Even Pa ne , in his celebrated answer to Burke , exhibited, on occa

of sions , much more fervour imagination than

Mackintos h .

t to Windham said , that here was scarcely be

r found in the w itings of Burke , Of whom he was m m a war idolater , a metaphor ore beautiful in

n or a itself, more exactly illustr tive , than that which Paine used whilst he was commenting upon

’ Burke s exclusive sympathy for th e fal len throne

u a of e and r ined ristocracy France , without b stow ing an equal portion of commiseration on the

w h o of t people , had endured the ills the subver ed

government . Mr . Burke pities the plumage ,

says Paine , but he forgets the dying bird .

When I read that passage, said Windham ,

a I lmost cried with Pierre , I could have

hugged the greasy rogue , he pleased me so . From the monotonous and measured style of 2 72 SUPPLEMENTARY A NE c DOTE S .

Of eloquence , which is a prominent characteristic

’ Vin dic iw Ga llicw the , Mackintosh s improved

taste afterwards weaned him . In the Monthly

of 1 9 6 b e r or ff Review 7 , eviewed f Gri iths , the

' ’

i M r . then ed tor of that journal , Burke s Thoughts

' on — ce in l a Regicide Peace , and yta y a ﬁner poli r Al l tical disquisition ha dl y ever appeared . its

al propositions are admirably limited , and logic ly stated ; and the controversial asperities , which now and then broke forth in the V in diciae Gal licae i b , hav ng been in a great measure softened y the more subdued state Of party feelings at the

of time he wrote it , as well as by the admiration that great author , which Mackintosh , in common with every man of taste and letters , must have felt— it was a calm dispassionate animadversion on the excesses to which Burke had pushed his

n o principles , and by means a marked Opposition t o the principles themselves .

of for The constitutional indolence the writer , the partial ity of friendship has never denied that he was deeply infected with the charms Of that

n ot seducing syren , did permit him to pursue the subject beyond two articles ; but they attracted

D 2 74 SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC OTES . and he could not forbear breathing portentous prophecies Of its resul t .

Talking of the anti - moral paradoxes Of cer tain philosophers of the new school , h e

Observed, with indignation They deserve no

a rn refutation but that Of the hangman . C iﬁce

otins uam ar umen tis e en t p q g g . Their arguments are, at best, miserable logomachies ; base prosti t ution s of of the gifts reason and discourse , which

Of God gave to man for the purpose exalting , not f O brutalizing his species . The wretches have not the doubtful merit of sincerity ; for , if they

l u real y believed what they publish , we sho ld know how to work with them , by treating them

. NO O in ion s are as lunatics , Sir , these p put forth in the shape of books , for the sordid pur

Of al u poses deriving a p try gain , from the nat ral fondness Of mankind for pernicious novelties .

' Of As to the opinions themselves, they are those

c . pure , defe ated Atheism Their Object is to cor rupt all that is good in man—to eradicate his — i mmortal soul to dethrone God from the uni

a e a e vers e . They r the brood of that putrid carc s 2 5 MACKINTOSH AND BURKE . 7 — ot al l t . that m her of evil , the French revolu ion

I never think of that plague - Spot in the history of mankind without shuddering . It is an evil spirit that is always before me . There is not a mischief by which the moral world can be f a ﬂicted , that it has not let loose upon it . It reminds me of th e accurs ed things that crawled in and out Of the mouth Of the vile hag in Spen

’ ’ of ser s Cave Error . Here he repeated that sublime , but nauseous stanza . You , Mr .

a in Mackintosh , are in vigorous m nhood ; your — tellect is in its freshest prime and you are a powerful writer . You shall be the faithful knight of the romance— the brightness of your sword l will ﬂash destruction on the ﬁ thy progeny .

Even in the midst of those painful and con vuls ive spasms which were al most perpetually assailing him , the playfulness Of his imagination did not desert him . Whilst Mackintosh was

z conversing with him , Burke was sei ed with a i vehement spasmodic pain , which was rel eved by vomiting . The matter which proceeded from

i r his stomach was watery, but tinged w th st ong

" ’ d h e of . Sai streaks black There , , probably T 2 2 6 7 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

in al lusion to the overcharged and exaggerated descriptions imputed to him by his political oppo

neuts . There , I have been accused of being

hold n . h n ow too a pai ter T ere it is , ; black and

to white , light and darkness , Rembrandt the

last .

The conversation once turned accidentally upon his son , the late Mr . William Burke , whose m premature death was , it is well known , ore the i proximate than the pred sposin g cause of the dis

order which brought such a course of protracted

ff M r . su ering upon Burke , and his death , which

’ happened n ot very long after Mackintosh s visit . ff ‘ It was unmixed grief. It su ered no comfort ,

no satisfaction to approach him ; even the

kind and affectionate cares of Mrs . Burke were

unheeded . It was that suppressed sorrow that broken heart that buries its victims by hun

—t i for i dreds hat d sease , which the med cinal art

n or has neither a name a category , which never

intermits its work , and corrodes unseen even under the smiles which the forms and convem f l tions o ife compel us to as sume .

You , Mr . Mackintosh , knew my departed

2 78 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTE S .

his father . Such a disappointment would have

’ been too much for a man of Burke s exquisite i sensib lity , and it would have inﬂicted upon him

of ll n ot a Species sorrow , equa y acute , and soft enedby the ten derness and affection with which f we mourn or those that are dear to us .

Mackintosh was as ungenially planted at Bom

to of out bay , the Recordership which he went in 1 803 , as Lord Erskine on the Chancery Bench ,

A al or Curran at the Rolls . constitution indo

- Of t lence , the master vice hose who have arduous duties cast upon them , and important interests to in e titude protect , as well as an p for law in its conﬁned and municipal sense , made him slow ,

' t diﬂered dubious , and timid . I n his respect he

w h o t t oo m from Eldon , hesi ated from having uch

r law in his memory, and from being pe plexed

al amongst too great a variety of an ogies . The

in u causes , therefore , particularly those eq ity, were tediously protracted , and these delays , in a

“ of country , the jurisprudence which recognizes

i t S e it as a sacred max m , tha p edy injustice is

e v f a n d bett r than tardy justice , were se erely elt, bitterly complained of. K I TO 2 MAC N SH AND BURKE . 79

Nor did Sir James feel himself quite easy in

in the society Of the settlement . The European habitants were general ly either civil servants of the Company , Ofﬁcers in the army , or commer

e e a ci l residents . They were unr ad and unschol r i i t are l ke beings , and add cted , as all pet y circles ,

r l whe e the inte lect is not in high cultivation , to those local gossipings , without which they could scarcely support the burthen of existence . Against i these, Mack ntosh waged unrelenting war ; but the blockheads in all places are a powerful fac

i . t on , and they had ultimately the best of it

This made him fretful and impatient Of his

an d exile , he reminded those who exhorted him to remain in the countr y till he had acquired a

mf m of co ortable co petency , the feelings expressed

a by an eminent Rom n , who was then in banish ment , in reply to an exhortatory letter from

Cicero , advising him to be patient, and to endure the inconveniences of exile with resign ation . ” You i i me admon i , sa d he , are giv ng these

n ot m th e n of tions , a idst mou tains Thrace, but amids t the social delights an dphilosophical in ter / ‘ ﬂ courses of Rome ; h ow eas y is it to give advice 2 80 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES . to l tolerate ca amities , with which you are not yourself visited . It is certain , however , that

b our Bom ay , which is the worst Of all settle d ments in the East In ies , was far from being a pleasant residence to a man w h o had been SO dis tin guis h ed a member Of the literary circles of the metropolis .

They used to tell an absurd anecdote of Mack

’ intosh s occasional forgetfulness Of the ordinary

of c on usages the world , in which , it must be

all i fessed , he was at times a most nexpert stu

. U a dent pon his ﬁrst arrival at Bombay , Jonath n

Duncan , the then governor , a quiet amiable man ,

r of f and fea ful to excess giving Of ence , wishing to Show the new judge every attention that was

to due his station , and there being no house ready for the reception of Sir James and ; Lady

ff of Mackintosh , O ered them the accommodation his own garden - house in the island for a few

t days , ill they could ﬁnd a habitation to their

ow n . i ff liking Sir James accepted the pol te o er,

’ i of and the fam ly took possession Mr . Duncan s delightful villa . Months and months elapsed but , the tenants found themselves so comfortable,

2 82 D SUPPLE MENTARY ANEC OTES . c b f e onceived it, pro ably , to be an o ﬁcial hous n belo ging to his station , and reposed upon that

a conviction , without taking any p ins to ascertain its correctness . Sir James has not been highly distinguished as a parliamentary debater . He hardly ever dashes ,

’ - i a din don . to use T erney s phr se , g g into a debate It is chieﬂy as a speaker of elaborate diss ertations

a of l upon gener l questions internationa polity ,

i that he is heard w ith atten tion and he repays it .

He puts forth much that strengthens , all that

o adorns his reasoning . But the House f Com

ot a mor mons is n the place for the al iles doctor es .

His language , indeed, is always polished , and

a occasionally nervous . The total w nt , however ,

an d s — Of graceful action plea ing manner , the

Of i rattling harshness his dialect, wh ch seems to

of v r r be no pro ince or count y, but peculia ly his

all li of hi s own above , the iron inﬂexibi ty tones ,

are insuperable Obstacles to his speaking either l usefu ly or impressively in that assembly . Charles

M Of th e unfortun ate r l oore, the brother gene a ,

n the bar and co temporary with Mackintosh at ,

an d the most consummate irn itator of public 2 MACKINTOSH AND BURKE . 83

to speakers that ever was heard , used say , that he

’ took the gr eatest pains to catch Jemmy s tones f but , fortunately , whilst he was making the ef ort ,

n Of Old and almost despairi g success , an Jew clothesman happened to pass under the window

s o of his chambers , whose cry was exactly in

’ of unison with the intonations Mackintosh s voice , that he followed him for a quarter of an hour ;

of and was , by means that lesson , enabled to give us a tolerable specimen of Mackintosh ’ s delivery of his lectures , which he executed with great

our spirit , and to unspeakable amusement .

But Sir James Mackintosh , as a thinker and a

r w iter , has secured a less brilliant, perhaps, but

Of less transient reputation , than that a parlia mentary orator . Had he aspired to a reputation

al he still more v uable , would have kept the pro

a mise , that has so long tortured both re ders and booksellers he would have commenced or com

leted his celebrated p historical work , which has never appeared . It was to have been continued

the down to the period of French Revolution , too late a period perhaps (a recent failure has 2 84 SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC DOTES . proved it) for legitimate history ; but the difﬁculty

ul wo d have vanished in his hands , had he sat down to it with spirit and resolution . It is , I

- to a fear, destined await the Greek c lends .

2 86 DO SUPPLEMEN TARY ANEC TES .

A ide - de- cam charged by his p , Major Vowell , a gentleman Of as much tact in the settlement of a f bill , as his commanding O ﬁcer was in contracting the same : the maj or was quite auf ait at lopping

Off extra charges ; or , if need were , in genteelly evading payment altogether .

O n the day appointed , Nenagh , and its vici

n it . y, were all in motion The company being

or l arrived at the principal inn , hote , which was e — ff kept by one Forrest r , tea, co ee , and excellent punch were served—card—tables were displayed the dance commenced—dozens upon dozens of

e decan tered the best clar t and champaigne were ,

ff al l and qua ed was hilarity ; and , at length , a most

d w as u n splen id supper set before the g ests . Duri g the whole Of this time, the gallant general , with his

s ecretarv a grand Chamberlain and , the m jor, did

of the honours the assembly , in a manner which did great hon our to the regiment . They were to

n on be see every where , in polite attendance the

s — m Of guest the ale portion whom , loudly and repeatedly expressed their satisfaction , by toasts and heal ths to the Sixty sixth l” whilst the ladies sighed at the prospect of being to be so . . 2 8 I O . U 7 soon bereaved of the society of so noble a corps !

al recom The repast being at an end , the b l men ced; and now was the time judged most ﬁt by Forrester to present his bill . For this pur

for pose , he sought the general throughout all

t but for the apartmen s , in vain , the latter was no

: where , to be found he and Major Vowell had

Off Slipped , and taken their departure , just in the

’ nick Of time when poor F orrester s appearan ce was suspected . At length the poor fellow thus addressed Cap

‘ Brev iter ! tain Blood and thunder captain , where is the general ? ”

Brev iter , perfectly understanding the drift of O the question , replied , , damn it , Forrester , our general is great at a retreat .

The landlord , who was greatly chagrined by this intelligence , exclaimed By Jasus , then ,

l O ff w m ?— If has he wa ked ith hi self entirely so ,

’ by the holy poker ! I m clane done out of house and home . But , captain , sure enough his ” h on ur has left Vowell to settle th e score ? 2 88 D SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC OTES .

Breviter 0 , laughing heartily , replied , yes , by G—d ! he has left you three Vowells I—O—U .

o A n Irish ex M . P essaying t relate the above

’ on e l anecdote night at Bood e s , in the presence

Of several gentlemen who had heard it before ,

commenced his narrative by saying , It was the ” funniest thing he had ever heard in his life ; but, unfortunately, when he came to the winding

i n o up , he plainly discovered that he was quite g

Of u of th e oke z— rant the tr e meaning j for, to the

th e l But ca tain s ur e question by land ord , p , enoug h his hon our ha s left V OWELL to s ettle the i s cor e . Brev ter Mr M made answer , 0 , yes, by Jasus, Forrester , he has left you ﬁve — — — — — — or Six of them A E L O U Y. Poor M as he ﬁnished this list of the vowels , laughing immoderately, excited much greater merriment than he could have done by

n - relating the ho mot in its genuine state .

2 9 0 DO SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC TES .

of l a kind sadd er , whose whole stock in that trade was not worth forty Shillings ; but which if forty shillings , even so much , was the entire amount Of his capital in the banking concern .

I once accompanied a large party of English ladies and gentlemen to that enchan ting spot

u where , having amused o rselves for a few days ,

on we were the point Of returning to Dublin , when one Of the party recollected that he had in

’ his possession a handful of the saddl er s paper .

out of Accordingly we all set , by way Sport, to

have them exchanged our principal object being

to see and converse with the proprietor of such

a bank .

Having entered the shop , which barely suf

ﬁced to admit the whole company , we found the d l s t . banking sadd er hard at work, making a ra dle

On e of the gentlemen thus addressed him

n ou m Good mor ing to y , Sir I presu e you

’ are the gentleman of the house .

’ s arv ice re At your , ladies and gentlemen ,

tur ned the saddler .

the It is here , I understand , that bank is

’ n kep t ? continued my frie d . 1 TH E BAN K o r K i LLA RNE Y. 29

' ' h an ic for of c this is the Killarney Bank , want

on My friend then said , We are the eve of quitting your town and as we have some few of n o of your notes , which will be Of manner use

’ t for for o us elsewhere , I ll thank you cash

’ them .

! h o The banker replied , Cash plase yer

w ? t nour, hat is that is i any thing in the leather line ?l —I have a beautiful saddle here as ever was

e put across a hors ; good and chape , upon my

s o. H ow ou say much Of my notes have y , Sir , if you plase This question required some time for an

al answer , c culation being necessary at length

out my friend counted them , as follows

eac Three n otes for 3d. h

61 t en d. eac a a i te Tw o d . for o . , h , h lf h r

T ee do. for eac t ee-fou t s of hr h , hr r h a thirteen

Carried forw ard

U 2 2 9 2 M R DO SUPPLE ENTA Y ANEC TES .

Brough t forw ard

Tw o n otes for 9 d eac . h

On e do fo IS l d. or n . r . o e t irteen , h

On e do . fo 6d. r l s .

O ne i eens do. for 5 3d. or t ee t 3 . hr h rt

O n f r 3 r t irteens e do . o s 9 d o t ee . l . , hr h and a hal f

£ 0 15 9

’ s ix There , Sir , said he , are no less than teen Of r omis es to a for your p p y , the amazingly

of teen s hillin s n in e ence large sum ﬁf g and p , ster

’ ling money ,

’ By the powers , then , it s yer honour may

for true to the say that thing , if sterling means

’ back- bone l il , it s the Ki larney notes w l keep out

‘ at ' all for the year round, without no changing

’ at all .

’ NO u do bt , no doubt , Said our spokesman

Of l but we are upon the eve departure , and sha l

’ o n require change our j ourney . l By Jasus , ye wi l require that same thing ,

’ God sure enough ; but , I vow to my ; I ve no more s ilvur money in the place n or these four

A E SUPPLE MENTARY N C DOTE S .

’ Do you mean to say , then , continued the gentleman , that your notes are never required to be cashed ? ’

Cashed echoed the banker ; is it

’ c ha ng ed ye man e ?

’

s . Certainly , replied the queri t

’ By the powers of Venus ! it s that same is a great expense to me ! The craturs bring me back the notes when they get ould an d ragged

’ and it s myself never yet refused to change them for beautiful new ones , fresh from Dublin city ;

and I puts my name to them to make them go

’ the faster .

Here the whole party, ﬁnding it impossible

to restrain their mirth , set up a loud shout of

laughter ; upon which the banker thus con tinned

’ U s o s o pon my say , I m right glad to ﬁnd

w orch ipful a company enjoy their merriment ;

’ ’ but it s myself knows well the power 0 money it

u costs to get them engraved so beautif l , and to

m —a get the printed on such nice thick paper y, J ﬁve hundred at a time , by asus

’ n ou Do y mean to say , then , said the ﬁrst THE BAN K or KILLARNEY . 2 9 5

a of gentleman , th t the holders your notes never demand the lawf ul money of the country in ex change for them

’ Sure , yer lordship , isn t the notes them selves lawful enough any h ow ? But is it silver ye mane 2‘ i ’ Certa nly , returned the querist . Oh ! ’ , by the powers replied the banker ,

’ the people hereabouts w oul dn t insult me by axing the question if they did , may be the bank would stop payment ; and then there N ' al l al l . J would be no money at at o , by asus they would be sorry to do any such thing ; they w ’ give the notes to one another , hen they re tired

’ o keeping them , or when they want to buy any

’ b odh r h on ur s . e thing I get more , axing yer pardon , in changing the notes for the gentry as to comes see the Lakes , than from all the rest

’ 0 my paper put together . The big div il ﬂy away

’ ’ 0 ! with the Lakes Killarney say I .

’ Then , I presume , Sir , said the gentleman , t holding out the no es , we have no occasion to was te more time in endeavouring to obtain pay ment for this parcel of paper of yours R N DO SUPPLEMENTA Y A EC TES .

‘ ’ I should be sorry , most noble , returned ‘ f the banker , to waste any more o your lord

’ or of ship s time , those sweet , beautiful ladies

I ili an t and gentlemen but , have an g bridle here ,

’ bem Yooru A is h Af rike as isn t to atched in p , y, y, ’M ik — ’ er 6 d. or ey : its lowest price is 1 53. ; we ll

’ ’ la ed 1 5s . 6d s t . say . o yer lordship If ye ll be p

of t to accept it , here will be twopence halfpenny , or a threepenny note coming to yer lordship

’ h e and that will close t business at once .

’ Really , Sir , said the gentleman , laughing ,

I have n o occasion for the bridle it would only

’ be an incumbrance to me .

I b ouldn es s to May have the , then , ax when yer lordship will lave town inquired the

banker .

’ are of th einn O ur carriages at the door ,

an d replied the gentleman , we only wait for the

’ adjustment of this affair with your bank . By the Holy how unfortunate ex

: claimed the banker, scratching his head but ,

’ as naether saddle n or bridl e lie in yer lordship s

way , if ye could but just delay yer journey till

I , the Cork mail comes in , expect , by the coach

2 9 8 E E SUPPLE MENTARY AN CDOT S .

ing , and took their leave ; laughing heartily at

the adventure . ill It is an wind , however , which blows no

body good ; when th e party arrived at the inn

r door , they found the ca riages surrounded by nearly two hundred unfortunate mendicants fl t amongst whom the gentlemen let y their no es , in order to have a passage cleared ; and took their departure whilst the miserable creatures ” were scrambling for the alms .

Hundreds of anecdotes might be related of th e

w f Irish Banks ; but , the follo ing . will su ﬁce to show the general dis repute in which their notes were held among the people ; although the n e ces s ities of the latter compelled them to pass

n in from one to the other , this base fabricatio ,

“ of or of stead real money ; , indeed , instead even

r en a e a ble on d a paper r ep es t tiv p ya eman d.

CHANGING A NOTE .

, It was, the custom in the City of Cork during F the rench war , and , perhaps , is still , for a num ber of the respectable citizens to assemble every THE BAN K or KILLARNE Y. 2 9 9 morning at the pos t ~ ofﬁ ce window ; waiting the delivery of letters and n ewspapers . Amongst them were generally to be se en a banker of the

a of name of Bonwell , and a gentlem n the name

of s Mitchell , who was strongly uspected of repub lican principles . Whilst they waited , politics

were general ly the topic of conversation : a sub jcet on which Bonwell held forth with energy ;

of making up by the loudness his voice , for lack

of of sense argument .

On e day he expatiated , in glowing terms , on

con s is ten c the merit of y although , pending the

American War , he had given many proofs of d attachment to liberty ; and , in eed , had openly

advocated American Independence . This was by some of the company thrown in l his teeth ; and one gent eman said , that he had changed his political opinions only since he ” had commenced the proﬁtable trade of banker .

U t u pon this . Bonwell became qui e f rious , and “ —a d—d exclaimed , It is a lie , Sir lie Where is the man who will dare to charge me with inconsistency ? ” M it itchell , seeing that was time to interpose , 300 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

a to prevent a challenge , and at the s me time de sirons of hitting the banker in the tenderest part . U said, in a quiet , but most sarcastic tone , pon

u my word , gentlemen , this acc sation against

Mr . un us t Bonwell is really j ; for , to my own

of knowledge , and , indeed , to that us all , he has not chang ed his n ote thes e thr ee y ears at all ” events : alluding to the invariable practice of the

of on e for Cork Bank , exchanging set of notes another parcel of the same paper .

This capital repartee set all to rights ; for it caused a loud laugh against the banker , and was the means of preventing a settlement of disputes of a more g r ave character elsewhere .

3 2 0 SUPPLE MENTARY AN EC DOTES .

“ generous , his native politeness preserves him at an equal distance from the bluntness (miscalled

hones t r y) of an Englishman . In sho t , if the

n n is Irish people resemble any other atio , it the

: l French they are equal y gay , volatile , and thoughtless would that they were as happy 3

The above question respecti ng the native wit

of the I rish was agitated on one occasion by a

’ Brookes s party at , and innumerable anecdotes

in i r were related llustration . The w iter presents l the fol owing to his reader, being those which

come most readily to his memory .

a Astley , the celebrated equestrian , had an m

hith eatre in p Dublin , where he often experienced rough usage from the lower orders, on account of his incessant expressions of ultra - loyalty which loyalty , however , recommended him to the favour of the people in power .

O n a o the conv lescence of the King , Ge rge the i 1 89 Th rd , in 7 , Lord Buckinghamshire celebrated the happy event by a splendid display of ﬁre

’ works on Stephen s Green ; the whole to be con ducted by Astley . When every thing was 30 3 IRISH W IT AN D CHARACTE R . d n e i off uly arra g d , our pyrotechn st set for the

s and ca tle; to apprise the Viceroy , on his way , stationed an artillery soldier on the leads of a

to of t to house , at the p Graf on Street, who was let off a signal rocket for the commencement of

’ ’ l e f eu d ar tgﬁce . This arrangement was overheard by some dis

e loyal wags , who moved down the str et after

al Astley . Having lowed as much time to pass as

to would sufﬁce for him go to the castle , probable

on e of delays there , and return , out roared them

i n in the voice of one haste , and exactly resem

’ A s tle s bling y , the sound being pitched to the

of roof the mouth , and imitating the London

’ cockney dialect Halloo you tilleryman let auf that there rocket

A off w ﬁre way went the rocket , and ent the

works ; of which there was not on e scintilla re

maining by the time the cor teg e arrived from the

castle ; to the extreme joy and amusement of the

Dublin wags ; but to the great mortiﬁcation of

w h o t poor Astley , s amped and swore like a

trooper .

’ He offered twenty guineas reward for the dis 304 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

cov ery of the delinquent ; but this only made

’ aff l for the air more pub ic no one would peach ,

and whenever he performed at his theatre , his

to ears were sure be saluted , from the gallery , with the ominous words Halloo you ’tillery man let auf that there rocket

At a large party in Munster, the celebrated

’ O C on n or e was asked, and gave p rmission that his piper should be present to entertain the com pany . This man was considered to be the most

al on b a - of capit performer the g pipes , his time;

. On in all Ireland the present occasion , he played l several airs so delightfu ly , and with such expres

n al l . sio , that were in raptures

on e In the course of the evening , of the guests , desirous of making a display of his loyal ty:call ed

To for God s a v e th e King . which the min

tr l n ot s e objected , saying , he did play that

ré tune . The gentleman persevered in his quest but the more importunate he was in urging it , the more obstinate was the piper in declinin g to play .

t A length , having tried the poor man upon

P TE SU PLEMENTARY ANECDO S .

l l to cause , shou d be compe led feed entirely upon " s tar v e this root , or , is disgraceful to the govern ment which permits such a state of things whilst it exhibits to an astonished world a greater degree of patience under oppression , than was ever before

of . shown by. any nation upon the face the earth

I once asked an Irishman , whose wretched family was greedily devouring a dish of potatoes in their

did n ot l skins , why he kil one of his pigs to feed

— h e Oh ! himself and children answered , by

’ h on ur a the powers your , that s more than I d ur

on or c ow or do If I only laid a ﬁnger a pig , a ,

’ n l a sheep , with intent to kill , I d have the la d ord , and the parson , and the tithe proctor upon me ,

No before I could turn myself round , no , mas th ur o to , the craturs must g pay the rent , and n tythes , and other dues , that myself knows othing — of the divil ﬂy away with them al l if I can

dh ro of l oun get a little p mi k for the y g childer ,

’ raetees with their p , sure it s myself is content ;

’ of to for it s beyond the power . me make things

’ on e better . But , let the opinion of Irishman

sufﬁ ce for all upon this subject . I one day asked

a poor fellow whether he w as fond of potatoes . I R ISH WIT AN D CHARACTER . 30 7

’ d a h on ur H e answere , Pl ise yer , I do nt dislike

’ al l — s ar e the r e v er w ell w ith a bit them at , y y

’ ’ 0 ma et N . ow , this poor fellow, and all his

for equals miles round , to my certain knowledge ,

of al never ate a bit anim food , from the ﬁrst day of - ﬁrs t of January until the thirty December ,

of old or ul for thr ee except a morsel ram , b l beef, days at Christmas !

u m to o But show y , gentle en , continued the s of peaker, that the Irish , though fond enough

al for anim food , are temperate in their diet ( they

o are by no means gr ss feeders in any case , whatever attachment they may have to goo d

len t it ! l drinking , and p y of ) , wi l relate a con

of versation , in which a gentleman my acquaint

ance bore a part .

to My friend, travelling by the Cork mail

’ o n i Dublin , a ﬁne summer s evening, hav ng aban don ed th e box his seat within , mounted coach , where he was much entertained with the sallies of w it from the coachman and guards . Learning that the coachman had been in the

Ti errar p y militia, and in England, he was desirous

ﬂ ' to hear his account of th e sister kingdom ; and x 2 30 8 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

” ou said to him , So , Pat, y have been in England what do you think of that place ? ”

My name is Michael , plaise your honour ;

coachman . w ith of returned the , a slight degree

* hauteur .

I ask your pardon , Michael said the gen

l man t e f . , I meant no of ence ” h on ur I thank your , replied the coachman , ” I would niver suspect it .

a Well , Michael, continued the querist, wh t ” do you think of England ?

Indeed , Sir , it is a ﬁne country, responded — ’ Michael ; and what wonder is that aren t

the Sas s on acs plundering the four quarters of the

out i globe , and Ireland in the bargain , to help the r

extravagance ? Ounly look at our own poor — country what a ﬁgure they have made of it !

of You are a bit a politician , Michael ,

observed the gentleman . ” h on ur Plase yer , replied the coachman , it

does n ot require much knowledge for an Irishman

No Iris man ikes to b e ca ed Pat un es s his n ame h l ll , l be Patric k : he cons iders s uch familiarity to be an ins ul t

w s i s f t o h is coun try as ell a to h m el .

SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

h on ur In raison , plase yer , replied the

! h coachman , upon my word if your ho ur was

’ of l to give me the run your larder , I wou dn t touch

ﬂesh more than once a day , ﬁve days in the week .

a Michael , said the gentlem n , archly , sup

pose I was to give you the run of my cellar ?

Oh w ! mas th ur , by the po ers , replied coachee ,

’ ’ I d drink yer conic till it comed out 0 my nose .

s errits of Wine and good p gladden the heart man ,

and make him jovial ; whilst the maet makes a

tiger and a slug of him at the same time .

At an election for the representation of the ld of . Bous ﬁe w as a City Cork , a Mr what is c lled

u the pop lar candidate ; and, after some days

n ot sharp polling , his tally being ready, he

di on e of e v oter of rected his counsel to k ep a . Colonel (the present Lord) Hutchinson as long

as he could, to gain time . It was well known that the el ector in question

e n was what, in Ireland, is t ch ically designated a

k— “ on e to Ba c that is , who is bribed swear to a freehold he never possessed . This man claimed the privilege of voting , by virtue of a tenement in C 31 ] I R ISH WIT AND HARACTE R .

s lated Maypole Lane , which he described as a hous e built o s tone thr ee s tor ies hi h , f , g ; although every house in the lane in question consisted but of on e of story , and were built mud , and thatched .

The counsel requested the ba ck to give parti — c ulars of the dwelling asking him how it was inhabited ? To which he replied I live on

- floor the ground mys elf, where I carry on my trade of shoe making ; my fi rs t- floor is let ; and the garret is untenanted at present .

And how much rent do you pay for the ” house ? continued the counsel . Oh ! l m' , by the hokey is it tel ye y bargain

! of catch me at that , any how By the powers Moll Kelly ! if I was to tell such a thing to a laa er ff y he would put a leg under me in a ji y, and ”

e s pin me into the street . The barrister was delighted with the loquacity

—it of his man being exactly what he wanted, to prolong the time ; and he began again : My

in good friend , said he , I have been often May

an d s e ‘ pole Lane , I never happened to e such a house there as you describe perhaps you mistake

F th e name of the street SUPPLEMENTARY AN ECDOTES .

There ’s a bull for ye cried the voter if

il of t you w l make a street a lane , I am done wi h you .

This was a poser for the bar rister ; but he re

run commenced the charge , determined to the ba ck fr om the top of the house to the bottom ;

b e t e accordingly , he asked how much rent ” ceiv ed for the attic ? ” a ai to There , g ain , s d the voter , appealing

’ the s h eriﬂ ; after telling him I had no tenan t ” there at present .

et ﬁrs t Well , how much do you g for the

ﬂoor u contin ed the barrister , there , at least , you have lodgers .

s h . I said no uch t ing , retorted the buck

The bar rister here appealed to the s h eriﬂé who dec ided in his favour .

. r ! a By the rod of St Pat ick then , s id the

“ ’ ’ r I ll h oul d n h vote , you a s eaker o punc I never

v — l gi ed any such answer how cou d I say lodgers .

l r when I have on y Mister Kagle , the blind pipe , in my Chamber

Ho w e ? much rent do s the piper pay , then

demanded the barrister .

314 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

yours I think I must pay you a visit in Maypole ” Lane . I’ll In troth , be happy to see you , returned

the voter ; will ye n ow give me the favour of your company to dinner on Sunday ? you

of shall have a leg mutton and turnips , done to ” a tan z ay .

Let me , ﬁrst , be better acquainted With your ” residence , replied the barrister , lest I lose my — ” way once more , then , if you please . ” To it , my hearty , rejoined the buck .

of l aw The man , now looking very wise , and

You raising his voice , said, have told us that you occupy the groun d~ ﬂoor yourself ; that your

- rs t ﬂoor . ﬁ is let to Mr Kagle , the piper ; and that ” your upper story is empty 2

The buck , casting a look of indescribable arch ness at his examiner , shaking his head , and ges ticulatin i e g w th his hand , xclaimed, in reply ,

By the full moon counsellor , I am afraid your ow n upper story is empty !

oor ed The learned gentleman was ﬂ , and the

g auditory, who had all along lau hed heartily, now k burst into a general roar . The buc , however , IR I R R 15 SH WIT AND CHA ACTE . 3 gave his v ote an d the dexterous man of the robe gained his point of spinning out the time until

n the hour of adjour ment , which enabled his client to be prepared for the next morning .

a t count At no her election , for the y of Cork , the contest between Lord Kingsborough and Mr .

of Townsend was sharp , long duration , and con

e e duct d with every sp cies of trick and manoeuvre .

O n e of the methods adopted for obtaining votes

u n Pr otes ta n ts was , by ind ci g to swear to ten

o p und freeholds , who never , in their lives , were ow ners of a single rood of land !

O n e of k or en tlemen r eeho/ders these buc s , g f ,

for s being brought up Lord King borough , Roger

for Barratt , the counsellor Townsend, examined ,

- t and cross examined him , most minu ely , and

s m abu ed him ost vehemently ; but , maugre every

l . lega objection , the buck gave his vote Whilst i ’ he was do ng this , Townshend s agent pointed

’ out Barratt s t c ke i to no i e , a chain and y wh ch

’ r i him a hung from the vote s fob, to g ve the p

Cat o ics h ad not t en t ectiv Th e h l h he el e franchis e . 316 D SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC OTES . earan ce p of respectability ; and remarked, that he i had taken not ce , that these very identical appen dages had been worn by the last score of Kings

’ borough s bucks ; and that he was positively certain there was no watch attached to them .

’ ” l to ar l We l see that , said B rett and ca ling to the buck as he was descendin g from the poll table , he said, My good friend , what was your

’ reason for takin g up so much of our time by your crooked an swers ? You have been on that table ” for at least two ho urs .

More shame for you , counsellor , replied the

f on tleman voter , to be a ter keeping a j from his

’ ’ mus emen ts c reaition s and his , whilst you was but following yer trade of talking all the while !

’ ’ ers elf But aren t ye shamed o y , Mister Barrett ,

‘ to tell sich a big thumping lie in the face of the

’ ha tw o court, as to say that I been here hours ” What time was it, then , returned Barrett , when you mounted the table

’ ” reeholder I don t know , replied the f , I m did not look at y w atch . l ” Wel , continued Barrett , thinking that he had the buck in his trap ; I can tell the v erv

R DO S SUPPLEMENTA Y ANEC TE .

N FRENC H EMIGRA TS IN ENGLAND .

A O G of M N this body unfortunate foreigners , a

u w certain M . D mont was ell known and esteemed

by many individuals of rank and literatur e in

of London . Dumont was a lively character , and he contrived to make his companionship agree

in of al L es able, spite his etern citations from

J ar dins of é . i his friend , the Abb de Lisle Wh lst

the storm of the French revolution was on ly yet a impending , Dumont transmitted to Engl nd a

s ubs e considerable portion of his property, and quently lived here in easy and tranquil inde

en den ce etits s ou er s p , giving frequent p p , in the

P s l arisian taste , where many of the mo t intel igent

of the emigrants used to assemble .

Dumont was also a frequent and welcome F R I GRA G D 319 ENCH EM NTS IN EN LAN .

- visitant at Lansdowne House , and was beloved

‘ a man ers on s and v lued by y p of high distinction ,

English or foreign . From morning to night h e was employed in acts of ben eﬁcen ce towards his

’ less fortunate countrymen . It was silent u nos

ben eﬁcen ce tentations , which , working its way ,

al like a subterraneous current , never armed the pride or the delicacy of those whose hearts it gladdened .

Can th ere b e a more unquestionable test of true and unaffected benevolence than these quiet min is terin gs to want and w oe ? Our emigrant

too used to remark , and that without the satis

- w factions of national self love , hich would derive

too to a complacency from the contrast , often be

our ow n found in this respect , amongst country

men , that he scarcely ever met with an instance

of an unworthy return of his kindness either in

l or actua ingratitude , an improvident and extra

of vagant abuse of it . Amid that gloomy wr eck

i i th e all their comforts , the emigrants l ved w th

of most scrupulous economy , feeling a species

if n ot l dn es s under cheerfulness , of g a k every pri 32 0 SUPPLEMENTARY ANEC DOTES .

vation . And of these were many whose splendid

of hotels were , not many months before , scenes

unfailing plenty , elegant hospitality , and social

n ot f n or gladness . Indigence did af right them , lull them into that supine and cheerless indo

of m lence , that torpid inactivity the ind and its

u m f on fac lties , the ost earful adversary which he ,

of whom the hand Heaven lies heavy, has to encounter .

Their little accomplishments , once the spon tan eous of n ow amusements their leisure , were

of . resorted to as the sources existence . Mar

uis s es q , Counts , Barons , taught Italian , French , music , drawing , and even dancing . English cha rity was n ot withheld on this occasion ; but it was almost a nation holding out its hands for

aff h o food . The pensions orded by the Britis g

me v ern n t were necessarily limited .

D umont mentioned to us a remarkable and ff a ecting instance , in which a widowed lady , la M arquise de of high birth and almost

roﬂered royal ancestry, had refused the pension p to her , and had retired to a garret, where she

32 2 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES . but carefully concealed from his mistress the manner in which he had b een employed . He

' s never approached her without the utmost re pect , and the usual obeisances of a lacquey of the old r eg ime ; and he passed his nights in a small out house .

d u Misfortune had soure a temper , nat rally

‘ s h e fre uen tl haughty , and q y scolded the faithful

for s o i creature staying away long , and leav ng her

To quite unattended . these reproaches he never

made the least reply , continuing , till her death , the same affectionate ministration to her n eces

f With this af ecting story , Dumont became

. too acquainted by mere accident It was late ,

to however , force relief upon the unbending spirit

of w h o the Marquise , , nevertheless , by a singular

to sophistry in her pride , condescended receive it

of a at the hands her former serv nt , assuring her

self, that she could reward and indemnify him , upon her return (which s h e so fondly expected) "

. to . her wealth and territory Dumont, much to

his honour , made the faithful creature , whose F I G G D RENCH EM RANTS IN EN LAN . 32 3

com or tab cares had lengthened out her life , f le for the residue of his ow n .

I was pleased with an ingenious argument of

’ — of Dumont s upon the question , whether the art acting was rendered more perfect , when the actor hims elf felt the passions of the scene ? Dumont

of contended that the maxim Horace ,

” Si vis me ﬂ r dol ndum es t i & . & &c e e e us c c . , p r ,

was wholly inapplicable to the theatre . The true m painter , he said, selects only fro Nature, that

or which is picturesque , ﬁt to be painted . If he cannot ﬁnd it in Nature , as is frequently the case ,

to e he combines that which is consonant Natur , or n ot at least that which does degrade her , with

So i . that wh ch she furnishes to his hands , a good actor , when he represents the stormy rage ,

of or the ﬁxed despair , or the sudden sorrows

n ot c o humanity , must watch , and literally py, the

exact effects of those emotions in their actua l

operation on the countenance , the voice, the l gesture , but he will natura ly consider what is PP SU LEMENTARY ANECDOTES . most beﬁtting to human dignity in his repres en i tat on of those passions . Were he to watch their operations in common and domestic life ; were

” for eﬂect he , example , to transcribe , exactly , the r ea lly produced there by some instantan eous

of u stroke grief, and faithf lly imitate the workings of it, he would represent what is essentially de formed and unseemly ; for grief, as well as the

o other vi lent passions , is deformity, producing

u attitudes that are ungraceful , and nﬁt to be copied; The matern al grief of the Niobe is the — au - idea l of n ot r ea l be grief as it would , in life, be expressed by a mother , who suddenly sees her

of children prostrated by the bolts heaven . It is the grief most becomin g our nature ; the most

of exalted species it , which holds forth man as

n n ot f c i a bei g, debased by a ﬂiction , but still la m ing the compassion of Heaven , and the reverence of - s his fellow creature Whereas , the actor , whose nerves are s o weak that he real ly f eels the emotions , which it is his province only to excite t in others , will represent their na ural , not their m or ictures ue ! oral p q effect . He will blubber

32 6 SUPPL EM ENTARY ANECDOTES .

O O . R GERS , THE P ET

TH E author of the Pleasures of Memory

n ot a o was , when I knew him , some years g , the

indefatigable punster it is now th e fashion to re

presen t him . He was addicted to a dry and often

bitter sarcasm , which was not much relished ;

but his conversation sparkled with anecdote , and his criticisms were characterised by a severe and

discriminating taste . He used to confes s , that l in his poetica compositions, he was far from

* being a Lord Fanny . His verses were beaten

rather than cast . A couplet often cost him con

s iderable — un fre labour some persons said , not

Sufﬁcien tl quently , a fortnight . This is , I think , y

o d L r Fanny s pins a thous and s uch a day .

P E OP . G . 32 RO ERS , THE POET 7 visible even in his ﬁrst and most beautiful poem ; and sometimes he seems to give up the task of com

a F or pl ting his couplet in despair . , at the opening of that exquisite piece , amidst the tranquil stillness of - s of the village green , and the dying ounds a

u n summer twilight , when the occ patio s and sports of the hamlet are alike hushed , is the following

e disconnect d distich , which he seems , by every

f n to ef ort of joi ery , have vainly attempted to force together

A ll al l are ﬂed et s ti I in e e e , , y ll l g r h r ” What p ens ive s w eets this p eaceful s p ot en dear !

Even then it was the fashion to liken the pale visage of the poet to all sorts of funereal things

’ ’ Tr is tis s ima mor tis imag o . But Ward s (now Lord Dudley) were the most felicitous resem blances . Rogers had been at Spa , and was

u telling Ward that the place was so f ll , that

c as ﬁn d lie he could no so mu h a bed to in ,

t e on n and tha he was oblig d , that accou t , to ” / . D _r e lied Ward leave it ear me , p , was — ” there no roomin the c hur ch y ard ? 32 8 E SUPPLEM NTARY ANECDOTES .

s h ow m At another time , Murray was g him

of v a portrait Rogers , obser ing , that it was ” ” li To h e . dea t ou done to the f the , y mean , replied Ward . A mongst other amusing sallies

of the same kind , was his asking Rogers ’ ? Why don t you keep your hearse , Rogers

you can well afford it .

I remember well , that Rogers , just after the “ of of publication his Pleasures Memory , had

received , from some powerful but unknown hand ,

th e of some elegant stanzas on subject the poem ,

but selecting o n ly topics of unpleasing and mourn

On e . ad ful retrospect stanza, he particularly

mired, and repeated it to us

To me s h e e s of lis s for e e os t , t ll b v r l ; Of fai occas ions on for e ve b r , g e r y ; Of o es too fon d n u s ed too del c os s ed h p ly r , ru y r ; ” Of man a cau s e to is — et fe to die y w h y ar .

These lines he considered almost perfect, and

w ished very anxiously to know the author . This

opportunity w as afterwards presented to him at

the King of Clubs . It was a Mr . Soames , a

330 SUPPLEMENTARY ANECDOTES .

been taken too in their undress attire , in the care l lessness of the socia hour ; in short , amidst the

unrestrained ease and familiarity of the Club .

of They are a part , at least , an experiment to

arrest and delineate the humours of the national

t e charac er, which is never se n , in its native and

t unmixed form , bet er than in these friendly cor

oration s . h p And t ese little corporations are ,

a I characteristic lly, British for , have seen many

u t v co n ries , and conversed with many tra ellers ,

out and I have never heard that , of this island,

or they have been carried on in the same spirit ,

o . f unded upon the same principle In Germany , e besides the collateral purpose of smoking , th y would be dedicated to on e speciﬁc end . Where

a s on they consisted of liter ry men , discussion transcendental metaphysics would raise a cloud as

‘ an dens e as their pipes . They would never ( es sen tial requisite in :our Clubs)

” Let Euclid res t or Archimedes p aus e .

A nd an e a , in Fr ce , the app tite of our agree ble

bou s n s is neigh r for change , to whom same es

re an d a w a are t s t tortu , who l ys fa igued out of exi 331 CONCLUSION . ept whilst they are treading a ceaseless

mus emen t t of , the perpe ual recurrence

faces , in the same circle , however

the converse , or the topics , would, be

dulness .

TH E E N D .