“Stupid Is As Stupid Does” Forrest Gump [email protected] San Antonio’s P.R. Policy Stupid is as stupid does, so said Forrest Gump in quot- Background until 2015 ing some sage advice from his mother. Though Public Relations, P.R., is a sector that encompasses many different functions and working environments, for our Costs Town Half A Million Considering the facts of the San Antonio Govern- purposes we are just referring to the job of P.R. as it applies ment’s 2016 regulations prohibiting the employment to Ibiza—which is the often maligned individuals who have of P.R.s in the town, it seems likely that Mrs Gump the task of enticing you into their employer’s bar or club. Euros, Without Achieving would find those involved were indeed, pretty darned Throughout Ibiza and many other tourist destinations, it is stupid. often the first job open to a newly arriving worker. Any Of Its Objectives. In this report we explain the current regulations and (Continued on page 6) calculate their financial consequences. The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 2

Agenda More Agenda on the Back Page Cry-Baby film screening Playa d’en Bossa Claire B On Sunday September 11 John Water’s iconic film Cry-Baby will be screened next to the Playa d’en Bossa beach @ Santos Dorado Suites. Set in 1950s Baltimore, a bad-boy (played by Johnny Depp) with a heart of gold wins the love of a good-girl, whose boyfriend sets out for revenge. Starring Johnny Depp, Ricki Lake, Amy Locane, Iggy Pop and many more. 20€ with a gin and tonic and hotdog. From 9.30pm.

Playing For Change 2016. Cala Llonga Brian Whetton Last year's Playing For Change Day was probably one of the island’s biggest events. The day raised a whopping 8,000€ for the charity, which was the largest amount raised at any of the worldwide events. We are delighted to inform you that this year Playing for Change will be taking place from mid-day to mid-night on Saturday 24th music education programmes in third world counties, in an attempt September, again on and around the beach area of Cala LLonga. to improve the life experience of children through music. Plans are being finalised to make this year’s Annual Festival So make a note on your diary, calendar or phone to come over to even bigger and better. There will be over 30 bands providing Cala Llonga and enjoy a day you'll not forget. We will bring you virtually non-stop music on 4 stages. We also have 2 food areas, more information nearer to the date but if you'd like to learn more a Children's Play Area, plus a Hippy Market and much more. see the worldwide site and the local facebook page at Playing For Change is a day when musicians around the world https://playingforchange.com/ Weather come together to play for free to raise funds to provide free http://bit.ly/2c4P5Qi

o their next gig at the Cala Llenya market. Back- Thursday 27 Backbeat beat are back again for their monthly slot at the brillo rastrillo for some musical thrillos. Cala Llenya Covering a massive range of eras and genres Sunday 11th September 12:00h to 15:00h. With with 2 guitars, a drum kit, voices and a whole two thirds of Backbeat comprising prolific Ibizan lotta love and energy! (*There is also Patrick, writer Carly S on vocals, and Ibiza Sun founder who has nothing to do with the newspaper, Chris Langley on the guitar*, we had to feature but is a thoroughly decent chap)

(Miguel and Matt with Miguel Campbell, come and contribute. If Friday 27º Sunday 11th Hughes), with regulars Iain O’Hare and MAM you can play, come and Santa Eulalia, 11:45am X Lisa Chadderton, LIPOUS (Miguel and Matt play… Day by Festival d'Opera d'Eivissa and Roots and Sanchez. Hughes), with regulars Presents Madam Butter- Lisa Chadderton, LIPOUS and Roots and Sanchez. Monday 26th fly at the Congress Pal- Friday 16th San Antonio/Bay, Chris ace. Tickets 40€ from Ibiza Town, IFCC Gala farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm Day… Santa Eulalia Town Hall Dinner at the Royal Plaza Friday 23rd see advert Also see articles on this Cala Llenya, Backbeat at Hotel, 42€pp, Reserva- San Antonio/Bay, Chris page and throughout the the Market, 12 to 3pm. tions: farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm newspaper. Agenda con- See article, [email protected] see advert Tuesday 27th Cala de Bou, Jose Padilla Saturday 27o tinues on back page. Figueretas, Jazz, Hotel San Antonio/Bay, Chris Rest Figueretas, farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm Saturday 24th Sunset Sessions on Roof- see advert top Nine, Ibiza Rocks Sol Thursday 8th Playa D’en Bossa, Cinema Cala Llonga, 12 noon to House Hotel 7pm- Cala de Bou, Craig Charles Dorada, Cry-Baby FB San- Ibiza Town, Beer Festival, 12 midnight, 30 bands on midnight. tos Ibiza live on Rooftop Nine, Sol Details on Facebook - IX 4 stages, 2 food areas, San Antonio/Bay, Sean Feria de la Cerveza 2016 House by Ibiza Rocks. See Santa Eulalia, Nimmos children's play area, hippy Mackey @ Stevie Ds, advert p1 Wild Rover, 9 pm on- market and more. 10pm see advert San Antonio, Shut up And wards: Open mic jam ses- Saturday 17th sion, all comers invited to Dance @ Rio. Features Ibiza Town, Beer Festival, Sunday 25th the Outcross Records come and contribute. If Thursday 29th you can play, come and Details on Facebook - IX Figueretas, Jazz, Hotel Ibiza Town, 10pm Cinema Sunday 27º 10th Anniversary Party Feria de la Cerveza 2016 with Miguel Campbell, play… Figueretas, Paradiso (fb), El Mariachi Iain O’Hare and MAM Cala Llonga, Mariposa, Santa Eulalia, Nimmos (Miguel and Matt return of the Sunday Sunday 18th Wild Rover, 9 pm on- Friday 30th Hughes), with regulars Roast plus a special after- Ibiza Town, Beer Festival, wards: Open mic jam ses- San Antonio/Bay, Chris Lisa Chadderton, LIPOUS noon of live music with Details on Facebook - IX sion, all comers invited to and Roots and Sanchez. Lauren Kaycee. See advert Feria de la Cerveza 2016 farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm Ibiza Town (Dalt Vila), Cala Llonga, La Cacatua, Santa Eulalia, Nimmos Ibiza Jazz Festival. Details David Vincent Music from Wild Rover, 9 pm on- on Facebook – Eivissa the 60s. See Advert wards: Open mic jam ses- Jazz: sion, all comers invited to Monday 27º https:// Monday 12th come and contribute. If www.facebook.com/ you can play, come and EivissaJazz San Antonio/Bay, Chris play… farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm Friday 9th see advert Monday 19th Santa Eulalia, 11:45am X Tuesday 13th San Antonio/Bay, Chris Festival d'Opera d'Eivissa farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm Presents Madam Butter- Cala de Bou, Jose Padilla see advert fly at the Congress Pal- Sunset Sessions on Roof- ace. Tickets 40€ from top Nine, Ibiza Rocks Sol Tuesday 27º Santa Eulalia Town Hall House Hotel 7pm- Tuesday 20th San Antonio, Melon Bomb midnight. San Antonio/Bay, Sean @ Ibiza Rocks House at San Antonio/Bay, Sean Mackey @ Stevie Ds, Pikes. Free with guestlist. Mackey @ Stevie Ds, 10pm see advert From 10pm. 10pm see advert Cala de Bou, Jose Padilla San Antonio/Bay, Chris Sunset Sessions on Roof- farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm Thursday 15th top Nine, Ibiza Rocks Sol see advert House Hotel 7pm- Ibiza Town, 10pm Cinema midnight. Ibiza Town (Dalt Vila), Paradiso (fb), Trumbo o Ibiza Jazz Festival. Details Playa d’en Bossa, Dorado Wednesday 27 on Facebook – Eivissa Live, We Are Scientists Thursday 22nd Jazz: (New York) Ibiza Town, 10pm Cinema San Antonio, Shut up And Paradiso (fb), The Big Saturday 10th Dance @ Rio. Features Lebowski Ibiza Town (Dalt Vila), the Outcross Records San Antonio, Shut up And Ibiza Jazz Festival. Details 10th Anniversary Party Dance @ Rio. Features on Facebook – Eivissa with Miguel Campbell, the Outcross Records Jazz: Iain O’Hare and MAM 10th Anniversary Party The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 3 News San José; No More Beds or Bars on the Beach 8 Applications Rejected Reduction In Current Licences Likely San José town hall have confirmed the rejection of 8 business licence applications for beaches in the borough. The decision on applications is actually taken by the Coastal Department, however under an agreement be- tween the two authorities all applications and decisions are submitted to the Council for input. It is understood that the Council had recommended refusal for all new applications made in the past year. The 8 applications in question relate to:- Cala Bassa – a kiosk bar and seating area Porroig - Jet ski business authority’s reasons for what amounts to a blanket refusal They have also commissioned a study on the capacity of Playa den Bossa - 5 separate applications, 4 of which of all new applications. “This is due to the belief that the the beaches and should the outcome confirm the view for tables, chairs, sofas etc at restaurants and one for beaches of our coastline already have enough commercial that their beaches are already taking too great a burden a water sports business. operations, in some areas an excessive amount”. through commercial activities, further action will be tak- Es Cavalett – seating area for existing restaurant This policy is reflected in the council having already de- en in reducing the number of concessions when they San José councillor for beaches, Pep Cardona, set out the creased the beach concessions by 10% earlier this year. come up for tender.

suffered as a result of anchors dragging along the seabed and so removing the Posidonia and also churning silt which then blocks the sunlight on which the Posidonia relies to survive. Marina de Formentera Manager, Juan Costa, said that with immediate effect their moorings would not be available to vessels that flout the regulations “any vessel that has been issued a warning will be considered ‘non gratos’ in their facili- ties”. Costa went on to say that, their decision has been motivated by “a lack of sufficient measures being taken to punish those guilty of not observing the regulations”. Pitiusa Ecology, the company holding the government con- tract for making boat owners aware of the regulations, is owned between Ibizan Marina, Santa Eulalia Club Nautico, Ibiza Magna and the Marina de Formentera who hold a 35% stake. They will use the information of Pitiusa Ecology along Formentera Marina: Photo Sergi Candelas with the input of volunteers such as Maria Jose Estarellas to impose the ban. “Some can escape us, but this move puts pressure on them,” 61 Years of Loyalty To Ibiza Keep Off The Grass, or said Costa. He went on to urge others in the marine industry The president of Ibiza Consell, Vicente Torres, has received a to adopt similar measures. “If more marinas join the initiative tourist who has been visiting Ibiza every year for 61 years. Josep Gadjo Fortuny, a lawyer by profession, visited Ibiza for it will have an increasingly strong effect”. the first time when he was 17 years old, and has never missed Keep Out of Our Port Editor. It seems Formentera have done it again. Facing a a year since. Formentera: Port Closed To Posidonia Abuse Boats problem that seems to have many stumped, they come up The president thanked him for his loyalty and presented our The Marina de Formentera Company that manages the Po- with an effective solution in the absence of tough financial most frequent visitor with a bust of the Godess Tanit as a mark niente Port of La Savina has announced they will not allow sanctions. For this initiative to have full impact, it must rely of appreciation. admittance to vessels that have been warned, or found guilty on the other marinas around Ibiza joining them. If a vessel Speaking of his holidays in Ibiza, Josep said his first years were of anchoring in the restricted Posidonia meadows. were not able to use any marine facilities around the island, it spent at the hotel Tropical in San Antonio. Ha chatted for some The move is taken in light of many boats continuing to ignore would surely have the effect of ensuring they respected the time with the president about the many changes he has seen in the regulations which prevent them dropping anchor in much regulations, or went elsewhere. Either way the Posidonia Ibiza from the 1950’s to the present day. of Ibiza’s coastal waters. The regulations are designed to protection is increased. protect the fragile Posidonia seagrass meadows, which have

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 4 News

The campaign will include distribution of a series of posters, economic activity without the necessary license. leaflets, flyers and other promotional materials targeted at Having not provided the licenses the ultimatum requires that nightlife venues, clubs and bars, etc., and in more traditional if they do not close voluntarily the police will seal the premis- information points such as medical centres and municipal es and that any breach of the seal would result in immediate buildings. legal action. The materials have been created in four languages, Catalan, San Jose Councillor for the Police and Interior, Paquita Ribas, Spanish, English and German, and offer a 24-hour sexual as- said that “these two closures were in addition to three more sault helpline plus details of emergency services and contact that have been closed in the government’s current term of details for the Office of Women. office”. “The aim of this initiative is to visualise the problem” said Still advertising for trade minister Jurado, “we do not have any exact data on the num- In an online search, we found that Nereidas were still tagging ber of such attacks because many go unreported due to fear Ibiza on their Facebook page as at 2nd September, with the or helplessness. Often this is as the victims are tourists and company also operating out of Mercia. KM4’s website intro- being in a country they do not know, and do not know where duce themselves as Ibiza social ‘inter-relations’ then offer a to go for help.” The minister thanked those companies in the ‘catalogue of putas’ Ibiza. entertainment sector that have agreed to co-operate in dis- We did not see our editorial obligation to be going as far as tributing the material inside their premises. She said that attempting to make a booking, and feel sure our google tar- their aim is for Ibiza to become “an example of zero tolerance geted advertising will be pretty seedy for some days even for this kind of behaviour”. having gone this far, the website appears to be open, availa- ble and ready to take bookings. Screenshots below: bottom left, the Nereidas facebook page is still tagging Ibiza on 2nd September, Below, San Jose Closes Two KM4 website is still up and ’open for business’.

Brothels But both still advertising for business As part of a special operation “Tot Suma” aimed at tackling sexual exploitation, San Jose have issued an ultimatum at two premises requiring that they cease all activity within 48 hours. This follows a mandatory 15 day period since proceedings were initiated requesting that li- cense details were provided to the authorities. The two premises known as ‘Nereidas’ and ‘KM4’ were inspected in early August by the local police along with Guardia Civil agents and government labour and finance officials. Proceedings were initiated on the grounds that the establishments were performing an

Ibiza Consell ‘No Means No!’ Campaign The Oficina de la Dona (Office for Women) has launched a campaign under the slogan ‘No Means No! Ibiza, an island free of sexual aggression’. The social awareness campaign aiming to tackle both sexual harassment and gender violence was presented by the Coun- cillor of Social Welfare, and of many other things, Lydia Ju- rado.

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 5 Boats Ibiza

Handy Hints group of x 12 just €750 - that's less the holiday.' than €65 each, fully inclusive of IVA, For those Ibiza boat fuel, water-toys (stand-up paddles virgins out there boards, snorkel, noodles), unlimited who've never char- For Ibiza Boat beer, wine and soft drinks plus com- tered a boat before, here are 15 dos and don'ts to bear in Virgins mind. DO... Rinker speed boat for Jane Charilaou 1. Choose a reputable, well- Main Picture and interior inset, The less than €100 each. Chartering a boat in Ibiza has never established company. Look stunning top of the range Disco Vo- That includes a whole been more popular. Groups of out for the TripAdvisor Cer- day (7 hrs) out on the lante. Left, Something for everyone, friends, families, couples, celebs - it tificate of Excellence - a good water, watersports gear from a 145 person Ibicenco Cargo Ship seems everybody's at it! In fact, pri- indicator of quality. (wakeboard, waterskis, vate Ibiza boat charters are now 2. Check the price carefully - to the 26ft 9 person Rinker, with prices firmly on the island's 'must do' list of common extras include fuel from just 445€ activities, just like the private villa and VAT (IVA) at 21% parties of the past, which (sadly, 3. Check whether unlimited drinks some would say) are now much more are included in the price - obviously a DON'T... strictly controlled by local authori- plimentary Cava. An extra huge bonus! ties, with harsh fines often imposed 4. Book in advance. You're much 9. Be late. Every minute of your few quid each gets you a 49' Balearic day out is precious! for noise pollution. Sunseeker Portofino. Not more likely to get your preferred That's just one of the reasons why date and boat. 10. Thrown rubbish overboard - it's bad, huh?! dangerous and poisonous to marine those who go for a private Ibiza boat Of course, you can also go 5. Sign up for newsletters and fol- or yacht charter are ahead of the low your favourite companies on life. for the full luxury experience 11. Wear your shoes on the boat. game - there are no noise restrictions and spend the whole week- social media. That way, you'll be the at sea, you see! That's why you'll find first to hear about special deals and 12. Forget your suntan lotion - the end on a yacht. Both the 89' sun is powerful out at sea powerful sound systems on some Arno Leopard, Disco Volante discounts. larger yachts, such as the Funktion 6. Look for a price promise that 13. Forget to charge your phone - and the 60' Sunseeker Predator have you'll be gutted to miss out on pho- One sound system that graces our snorkels, donut etc), captain, instruc- ample accommodation to transform refunds the difference if you find a 89' Arno Leopard yacht, Disco Vo- cheaper deal. tos tion, IVA, 2 hours fuel and unlimited into the floating hotel of your 14. Ask your captain to anchor over lante. USB connections are standard beer, wine and soft drinks. For a dreams. 7. Ask about different routes on all boats, meaning you can rock (Formentera? Es Vedra? Hidden se- Posidonia seagrass or tolerate any- sunset trip (3.5hrs) the price per With the wind in your hair, a cool one doing this - the Posidonia is a that yacht with your own personal person goes down to less than €60 drink in your hand and a smile on crets?) Take advantage of your com- playlist. Boom! pany's local expertise and keep your World Heritage site and it's highly per head for a group of 9, with all the your face, a day out at sea is the illegal to damage it in any way. In short, there's nothing quite like same perks included. What's more, perfect antidote to our usual busy, eyes peeled for dolphins! gliding across the Balearic on a pri- 8. Have lunch at a beautiful Ibiza or 15. Weep when it's over - just do it these are high season prices. Come stressful, modern lives. There's again next year! vate Ibiza boat charter with just your mid-September, the prices get even something about the marine environ- Formentera beach restaurant. Your nearest and dearest. Ideal for groups lower. charter company should be able to ment that fills you with a sense of See Boats Ibiza advert below for who simply split the cost of the char- For special occasions, (hens, stags, provide you with information about freedom and space which in turn, full contact information—and ter, a day out on the Balearic is much birthdays etc) the current trend is to provides the opportunity for a com- the best Ibiza beaches, bars and more affordable than you might charter a Sunseeker yacht. A private restaurants to visit. They should details of the Commission intro- plete 'reset.' For many, their private duction bounty. imagine. Groups of x 9, for example, sunset charter (2.5hrs) on our 47' Ibiza boat charter is 'the best day of normally be able to make a reserva- can currently take out a super cool Sunseeker Camargue would cost a tion for you too. http://www.boatsibiza.com/

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 6 “Stupid Is…” San Antonio’s Six Figure P.R. Farce.

(Continued from page 1) revenue would be To say it is the bottom rung The San An Jacket over half a million of the ladder is something of euros—540,000€ an injustice as it is a very System Of course it could tough job, but in terms of In San Antonio the Town Hall be far more. 200 the conditions of employ- decided something had to and you are getting ment, it is a job many people be done and a new licencing on for a cool million prefer to avoid. system was introduced. euros. With remuneration always Under this scheme those heavily reliant on results, bars and clubs wanting to few people have the tenaci- employ a P.R. had to pay an 2016 Regu- ty combined with a natural annual fee of 1,500€, and lations gift of the gab and ability to through the full legalisation 2016 found new not take all the rejection of the person in the job, a political colours in personally. further 500€ a month in the San Antonio That said, they do exist. I contract costs. town hall following Everybody in the Ibizan office loved this photo of Maz King and Zak Sheridan. Maz and know of several A six month season would the municipal elec- Zak are long standing residents living in Cala de Bou with their 4 children. ’professional’ P.R.s who are therefore cost the business tions. I take quite a lot of photos, and i look at many more, I can't think of a single one that extremely good at what they 4,500€ in revenue paid over With much debate says 'couple' better than this. (and it kinda says why there are so many kids too) do, and have chosen to re- to the public purse. around the need to The official P.R.s were issued Maz said “ 24 years I've had to suffer that boy... And still no diamond to show for it... ! main in that role for many ‘clean up’ San Anto- Hehehe.. X”. Might be time to stand up Zak? Tune in next week readers, for the next years—earning a good old with a jacket that confirmed nio’s image in the whack in the process. the name of their employer. election campaign- thrilling instalment. Historically employers could It was not a perfect system, ing, it was inevita- have chosen to employ their but many employers bit the ble the new powers would playing their cards close to ed to or not. They simply do bility, the new regulations P.R.s on full and legal con- bullet and went legit. want to take some immedi- their chest, waiting to see not have the manpower. have to be seen as a blunder tracts reflecting the P.R.’s It did not stop illegal P.R.s ate steps to assert their the level of enforcement put With the Ajuntamento mak- of epic proportions. actual working hours and being employed in addition authority and position. This into practice. ing no provision for any al- The town hall have taken us pay. to the legal and clearly iden- was all the more likely due I recall one business in the ternative way of regulating from a situation that, whilst In reality however, many of tified ones, but as it was to part of the new coalition West End receiving a fine for P.R.s , it was not long before not perfect, had created Ibiza’s P.R.’s have been work- clear and immediately obvi- government standing on P.R.ing from their own door- the businesses had a clear some semblance of order in ing entirely illegally, or with ous which were not working what amounted to a single way right at the start of the view that they could return the P.R. world, and at the a minimum hours contract legally it at least prevented policy platform of reclaiming season. They received con- to past practices—but now same time brought anything and ’on paper only’ wages. the worst of the practices the town. siderable support and sym- in the quite ludicrous situa- between a minimum of For many years there have that were causing upset. The new Government issued pathy, and perhaps for a tion that they were not al- 500,000€ up to 1,000,000€ been more ‘workers’ coming Obviously the additional several ordinances relating brief moment it looked like lowed to employ them legal- or even more, into the public to Ibiza than there are con- cost was not welcomed by to the sale and consumption the days of the P.R. were ly even if they would want to coffers. tracted jobs available. With employers, many of whom of alcohol, and the one that over. do so. What they have taken us to those businesses prepared were already facing re- brings us to this report, an That moment was very brief The regulations state that is a return to the wild west to flout employment laws at strictions on trade from a ordinance of the permissible indeed. there cannot be a P.R., so of the past, and lost all that no financial risk (other than raft of other regulations methods a business could I am sure there will have you cannot employ one on a revenue in the process. Government fines of course) coming out of the town hall use to promote themselves. been some other sanctions, contract, full or false. What have they achieved? by taking people on commis- at the same time. It is quite It was decreed that all street but I have not heard of any. There is widespread agree- Momentary rhetoric in pla- sion only P.R. jobs, it was telling that many of those P.R.ing would be banned, It was not long before P.R.s ment among the many work- cating the citizens of San perhaps inevitable that their same employers are the first even from a business’ own were back out on the street ers and business owners I Antonio who wanted some numbers would grow to to voice their opinion as to premises. doing their stuff, as they have spoken to that there post election assurance of a saturation levels, particularly the insanity that follows— Given the widely held view always had done, but actual- are as many P.R.s on the clean up. Had they achieved in heavily competitive areas but we’ll come to that in a that P.R.s were a nuisance, a ly going back to the com- streets now as there ever that clean up you could say such as San Antonio’s West moment. bit of a pest, there was not pletely wild west version of have been, if not more. fair enough. Whether you End. Revenue too much sleep lost over P.R.ing prior to the vest They work with relative im- agreed with the regulations, I certainly know of many There is a lack of clear facts what was presented as their system. punity, and any sanctions they are the elected govern- visitors who were fed up regarding the revenue re- imminent demise. The ordi- The reality turns out, as they receive are far more ment and they have the with the never ending trade ceived under the jacket sys- nance was not restricted to many people suspected, that likely to come from a neigh- mandate to decide that the touting. With so many P.R.s tem. Asking those working in P.R.s and if anything more the regulations had no teeth bouring bar upon who’s removal of P.R.s from our trying to earn their daily business in the thick of the people seemed to consider whatsoever because there terrace toes they step, than streets is worth the loss of Passata and Pasta, a good West End estimates vary the banning of street pa- was no system of policing from any official source. revenue. number of businesses were from 100 to 400. rades, a feature of Ibiza them. But they haven’t done that, bemoaning practices such as We will be ultra conserva- nightlife for many years, an The acute shortage of police Consequence they haven’t even got a plan P.R.s from other bars tout- tive and base our sums on in Ibiza and especially San for trying to do that. unnecessary step. If you accept that a govern- ing on their terrace and the 120 P.R.s—an odd number They have lost the town a The season started with Antonio is well known. With ment has a responsibility to roving P.R. who would at- but you can probably see so many more serious issues huge amount of money to some debate as to how the pass legislation only along- tempt to seal a deal before why already. to take their time, the Police absolutely no purpose. new regulations would be side a method of enforcing people even approached the At just 120 officially regis- could not be expected to Makes you wonder who the enforced. I think it is fair to that legislation, and surely town centre. tered P.R.s the government take the job on if they want- pickpockets really are? say many employers were they do have that responsi-

It was sad to read that pickpocketing gangs there, and how dangerous it is? sorted, fined, and the money used to send now appear to be a growing problem. Whilst I I feel tourist operators, and airline companies, them back to wherever they come from? Postbag can't say I have seen such - perhaps because I and the Tourist Board, should warn their cus- Is San Antonio the only resort worried by Last week’s editorial on the problems of ag- normally visit out of high season - this can tomers, especially those new to the island, these people? gressive street sellers and pickpockets gener- only further blemish the island's image. about the dangers. Am I being too simplistic? ated a good deal of debate and wide ranging I hope that the attention that your excellent What is attracting visitors to the area, in the With thanks, and best wishes, views on the question of why? piece will draw to the problem may help to first place? Is it the night clubs? Rosalind Minton (Mrs.) Thank you to every body who contributed generate some response from the authorities. I know people have to earn a living, but I be- their thoughts on social media and directly to It is surely in the best interests of all connect- lieve there are no night clubs in places like Dear Editor, our inbox. I have printed some of those below. ed with Ibiza that such unsavoury issues are Santa Eulalia. Surely, night club owners could I would like to congratulate you on a first class As acknowledged in the article (most unpro- eradicated as far as possible, in order to en- find different occupations, if they really want editorial on the crime in San Antonio, and the fessionally) the report had been rushed to sure Ibiza is a safe and welcoming place to to work here in the summer. lack of interest shown by the powers to be. print and was issued unproofed. The complete both visit and live. I believe the Government and the Tourist I have lived in Ibiza for nearly 30 years and it is and tuned article, together with a conclusion My next brief visit is on the first weekend of Board will not close down night clubs as they clear to see the problem is getting worse, if of sorts, is available here. October, and I'll be taking a little more care bring in a lot of money. nothing is done very shortly I hate to think http://theibizan.com/opinion-editorial/why than usual to make it a relaxed and safe one! Do the islands of Mallorca and Minorca have where it will end. -pick-pockets-illegal-street/ Keep up the good work the same problems? If not, should we not take As you point out the Police and Guardia are Best Wishes, Rob Mead note of what they do, or don't do? about as useful as tits to a nun (editor, note to Hi Nick I do believe, also, rightly or wrongly, that the Police, I don’t think I did point that out). Firstly congratulations on a superb feature on Dear Mr. Gibbs, police, probably understaffed, turn a blind As you point out the Senegalese are normally the above in last week's issue - which I read Thank you for the amazing article regarding eye. a pest but they don’t compare to the Eastern online. the troubles in the West End. I do hope a solution is found soon. Sadly, be- Europeans who will become a real big prob- I wrote to you last year on the subject I am a near 80 year old widow, now resident in cause of this small area of San Antonio the lem in the future. (particularly of the illegal vendors) expressing Ibiza, having visited the island since 1970. whole of the island, as you know, has got a So please use your very informative newspa- my fears that if this practice were to continue I have owned my apartment in Cala de Bou very bad reputation. per to keep us informed as to what is going unchecked, it would surely damage the repu- since 1988. I know Martin Makepeace is doing a great job on. tation of Ibiza. This would not only be to po- I, of course, have never visited the West End trying to get the Town Hall to rid San Antonio Yours sincerely tential visitors, but also those like myself who at night, in the summer. of aggressive street sellers. I do admire his Tony Cox have visited regularly over the years and have However, what puzzles me is why is the West tenacity. a fond regard for the island and most of its End is so popular, still, with tourists, when Why can't the illegal aggressive street sellers people. they must know about the crimes committed be arrested, imprisoned while paperwork is The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 7 Sí, Hablo Español, I Una Mica De Català.

CEPA – Ibiza’s Adult Education Enrolment Timetable

Programme Offers Low Cost Centre Address Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Cantonada Canàries, 12 6pm to Courses in Spanish, Beginner, Ibiza Town davant Mercat Nou, Tel 11am to 1pm 6pm to 8pm 11am to 1pm 971305368 8pm c/st jaume 72. 6pm to Intermediate and Advanced Santa Eulalia tel 971305368 11am to 1pm 6pm to 8pm 11am to 1pm 8pm PLUS Beginner’s Catalan For Avinguda Porto Saler s/n 6pm to Formentera Sant Francesc 11am to 1pm 6pm to 8pm 11am to 1pm Telf 971321069 8pm Parents. C/Alacant nº 33 6.30pm to 11am to 6.30pm to 11am to Wouldn’t you love to be able to say “Yes I speak Spanish”, and Sant Antoni Telèfon: 971 348 595 even better “and a little Catalan”? 9.30pm 1pm 9.30pm 1pm Don’t you envy those among us who already can? Escoles Velles Carretera 6.30pm to 11am to 11am to Sant Josep Es Cubells s/n We know it’s tough. We all have our excuses. But we will not 9.30pm 1pm 1pm get anywhere sitting around moaning about it. The Spanish (use San An Telephone) Government are providing us with the opportunity at next to Oficines Municipals, C/ 6.30pm to 11am to 11am to Sant Jordi de la Plaça Major 9 no money, so time to take the plunge. 9.30pm 1pm 1pm (use San An Telephone) Centre Municipal 6.30pm to 11am to 11am to Cala de Bou (near Sea View Hotel) CEPA Adult Education Service (use San An Telephone) 9.30pm 1pm 1pm These state run courses are ideal for Ibiza’s winter residents. In Castellano Spanish there are options for absolute begin- ners through to those ready to take their Spanish to the the Spanish language, orient themselves and evolve positively next level. towards integration in the society in which they find themselves. Availability of Courses During the course equips students with the resources needed to For parents with school age children, the beginner’s Cata- develop communication in simple everyday life, to exchange basic Spanish 1 Spanish 2 Spanish 3 Spanish lan is an ideal course in giving you the necessary language Catalan 1 information and can understand oral and written texts brief and skills for school communication and for homework help. basic. Ie train them so they can relate to the public and work There are also classes available in hobby and leisure pas- Centre efficiently. times such as Yoga, Photography, Oriental Dance and Pila- tes etc. Spanish For Foreigners 2 Language courses are usually around 2 hours, 2 or 3 times The recipients of this second level are people who already have a a week. The maximum course fee is just 30€ per year! Ibiza minimum language skills that allow them to express themselves in a clear enough in Spanish. Town The main objective that is intended to get this course is related to Locations …. Santa students using Spanish as a tool that allows them to understand The adult education service is divided into 2 areas:- Eulalia and integrate into the reality around them, by reading and partici- pating in press various cultural and social events such as festivals, Formen- conferences, exhibitions ..... CEPA Pitiuses tera centres in Ibiza town, Santa Eularia and Formentera Sant Spanish For Foreigners 3 Tel 971 305 368 Antoni * This level 3, is aimed at people who already have some language http://www.cepapitiuses.com/ skills inaccurate when expressing themselves in Spanish. That is, https://www.facebook.com/escolaadultseivissa/?fref=ts Sant are students who are capable of explaining events in the past, Josep present and future, which include global information oral texts in real communication situations such as detailed information about CEPA San Antoni Sant Jordi general topics, daily telephone conversations, ideas general and centres in Sant Antoni, Sant Josep, Sant Jordi and Cala issued an oral presentation by the media. de Bou Cala de Throughout the school year working to ensure that students are able to express themselves orally in different communicative Tel 971 348 595 Bou situations, such as participation in a conversation, expression and http://www.cepasantantoni.cat/ reasoning own opinions on a topic of conversation, the narration https://www.facebook.com/cepa.santantoni/ Details of the beginner, intermediate and advanced Spanish for of actions and events of the past and future senses etc. foreigners courses are given below, from which you should get a good idea of the right starting point for you. How to Enrol …. We make no apology for the imperfect English grammar in the Catalan For Beginners 1 descriptions provided to us – who are we to judge? Ibiza and San An offer entry level Catalan designed for people Enrolment for new students runs from September 14th to who can already speak Spanish (ask for Catalan A2), but in 2016 27th. Ibiza are offering Catalan 1, designed for people who wish to You will need to take along a photocopy of your NIE or Spanish for Foreigners learn the language without any necessity to already be a Spanish Passport, and 2 Passport Size Photographs. speaker, and San An say they will adapt their A2 course for non Spanish speakers if there is a demand. The course is therefore For language courses there is no entry requirement Spanish For Foreigners 1 ideal for any parent suddenly finding the need to assist with though the tutor will discuss with you the most appropri- This course is aimed at people with different cultural and linguis- school homework, or anybody who just fancies the idea of taking ate starting point. If you can’t understand what they are tic varieties, literate but begin to start in the Spanish language. the Catalan route instead of Castellano. saying chances are it will be beginner ;-) The main objective at this level is that students can, by learning

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 8 Palapa It’s A Street Thing ...

Palapa Street Food Spicy shredded chicken taco. These were always going to be a favourite as they come Rhian Gibbs with a ‘2 chilli spice rating’. Each taco was packed with a Palapa is a new name on the San Antonio Marina front moist shredded chicken filling, a crunch of onion and full for 2016. It’s all about street food, incredible taste with of that Mexican flavour. the equally incredible waterfront street life playing out its Fried chilli mango and prawn taco cabaret in front of you. It was juicy and full of flavour with the mango and

In the typical street food style, you can order the tacos in prawn tumbling in a match made in heaven. a portion of 3, or just 1 taco on its own – this is a Mushroom and Onion taco fantastic way to try all the different combinations As with all the tacos, a soft shell is filled with the classic available. combination of garlic mushrooms, onions and herbs.

Cocktails kick we had experienced from the food, with that Jose While waiting for our food to arrive we tried the highly Cuervo kick. recommended Frosty Mexican Bulldog, the menus Palapa is a perfect place to start your night out, plenty of description ‘a frozen margarita topped with a bottle of taste, but no need to dampen your later desire to get on Corona’. It certainly was a surprise when it arrived at the dancefloor. our table. A pint glass with a margarita inside, and an It is not all about the night time though. Palapa have a upturned bottle of beer neck buried in the cocktail. great day menu and even offer an English breakfast— The advice is to drink it through the straw, with the presumably for those that were part of the promenade bottle still in place – which seemed a bit of a challenge! cabaret the night before. As far as the drink itself goes, it is very refreshing, think See advert for contact info a shandy slush puppy with a bit of a kick. One of those drinks that would undoubtedly creep up on you unawares after two or three—we like that.

Summery Palapa salad With fresh spinach, cherry tomatoes, chilli peppers, tortilla strips, almonds and a lemon and olive oil dressing. The flavours and textures work so well together. The zingy-ness of the lemon juice and the heat of the chilli, combined with the fresh spinach leaves and crunch of almonds was a perfect accompaniment to the tacos. Marinated Chicken salad This salad comes with mixed lettuce leaves, chicken, tortilla chip bits, avocado, nuts, seasonal fruit and a serrano chilli curry dressing. With the generous serving, this salad is ideal on its own, or perfect for sharing and of course the Mexican flavours have not been lost due to the Also on the cocktail menu is Michelada, which is a chilli, avocado and tortilla chips. Quesadilla with ground beef and melted cheese. Mexican Bloody Mary made with beer – great with Wow, by far the most delicious quesadilla I have tried, breakfast/brunch, or as a way to start your evening. you just can’t go wrong with ground beef and melted Onto the food, you will find burgers and pizzas on the cheese. Triangles of heaven. menu, but the reason to eat here is Mexican food with To end the meal we were given shots of Frozen Nachos, Quesadillas and Tacos being the stars of the Margarita, a perfectly refreshing way to cool the chilli show.

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 9 Food & Drink

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 10 Community

Thurs 8th September to Weds 14th September 2016 View From The Pew ARIES - Page of Pentacles You'd be wise to sit out a stalemate situation this week. You don't need to give ground, just wait Families and How to Survive and see what others offer before making any decisive move. Life will be similar to a game of chess so think carefully about your next move. If Them you're undecided then wait awhile, especially if Rev. Dr Peter Pimentel there are financial implications to any changes. A lot of people I guess would be hard pressed, if asked, to TAURUS - The Fool quote from memory a saying of Jesus. Perhaps “Love your You're inclined to be uncharacteristically impul- neighbour as yourself” might come to mind. Or maybe “Love sive and are about to make, what associates con- your enemy” or “Do unto others as you would have them do sider, a rash move; but is it? You’ve got a hunch unto you”. What about “Turn the other cheek” or “Judge not regarding a business opportunity and are willing to take the risks involved. This isn't about being lest you be judged”. One saying of Jesus that almost certain- a team player; it's about independent and vision- ly won’t be etched in our memory is this one: “Whoever ary thinking, which inspires those around you to comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and think outside the box. children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot Bye Bye Brenda. GEMINI - Justice be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26). Why on earth would Jesus say It was with great sadness that people from across the Weigh up the facts presented to you this week; such a horrible thing? It is very strange that, on the one hand, especially if it involves any big changes. Sure, Jesus says, “love your neighbour”; and, on the other hand, he island and the U.K. gathered at the crematorium of Sta there are pros and cons but what’s your intuition tells us to hate members of our family! Surely, at the very Eulalia on Tuesday 6th Sept for the cremation of Brenda telling you? Others have their own agenda and least, family members are our closest neighbours. Even more emotionally you’re being pulled this way and perplexing is that Jesus challenges us to both love our enemy Macey who passed away peacefully with her family at that. Keep it simple; what's best for long term prospects and what brings a more balanced and and hate our family! I have some pointers towards a resolu- her side last Friday 2nd Sept aged 76. Brenda was one harmonious lifestyle? tion of this. Firstly, Jesus does sometimes use what we now- CANCER - The Lovers adays call “hyperbole”. Hyperbole is a deliberate exaggera- of the loveliest people you could wish to meet, so viva- Great week for getting along with just about tion for effect. This was not uncommon in his day. Hyperbo- cious, so friendly and outgoing that her passing has come anyone, as you're in the mood for love. The Lov- le is frequent in the rabbinic sages and the Bible. Jesus also ers also presents us with a choice; between two said: “If your eye causes you to sin pluck it out and cast it as shock to everyone who knew her. Brenda and her people, two jobs, two career options; you get the from you”! I don’t see many church goers with their eyes picture? You’re being asked to make this choice gouged out! I guess church folk, fortunately, recognise hy- husband Brian were on half of "The Valley Four" having from your heart, therefore it’s important to con- perbole when they see one. Families, it seems to me, can be for many years shared a house in Cala Llonga with their nect with your feelings and make your decision a bit suffocating. Sometimes they need hyperbole!! Families intuitively. lifelong friends Pam and Ivor Williams before moving to LEO - Knight of Pentacles do sometimes foster unhealthy co-dependencies. Sometimes You're thinking long term financial investments; at the very least we may need to step back a bit and let go a S'Agamassa, where again they soon made many new so it would be wise to seek out an expert opinion bit. Paradoxically, putting God first, in some specific area of before committing yourself fully. Make sure our life, even above family ties, may just be what the family friends. everyone involved is up to carrying through the needs to grow. The rabbis contemporary with Jesus put it They were also "mainstays" of some of the island’s walk- task, especially if it requires you handing over this way: “The master takes precedence. For his earthly fa- substantial amounts of money. Sometimes you ther brought him into this world. But his master, who taught ing groups and were always the first to join in any social have to speculate to accumulate, but make sure him wisdom, will bring him into the life of the world to occasions. Brenda loved Ibiza and the people who live it's worth it in the long run. come.” (The Mishnah: Baba Mesia 2:11) VIRGO - Four of Cups here, spending a lot of her time assisting various fund Weigh up opportunities this week as there's a The Church Service this Sunday 10.30am September few to choose from both personally and profes- 11th is at the Chapel of Lourdes, Carrer Sant Jaume 85 raising charities. She will be greatly missed and we, sionally. However, delay any decision on making (the main street), Santa Eularia. a firm commitment, as there may be another The English-Speaking Church on Ibiza & Formentera. along with many others, would like to send our heartfelt opportunity on the horizon; one you might like See website for locations & information. Tel 971 343383 condolences to Brian, the family and their many, many even better. Romantically, if you're single and [email protected] have kissed a lot of frogs recently, the signs are friends. good to meet your Prince/Princess. www.ibizachurch.org LIBRA - Page of Swords The Two Old Rockers You want to get to the bottom of something that's been troubling your thoughts and are de- termined to root out the truth even if it means upsetting yourself or the feelings of those you feel a close affinity to. You can only hope they're telling the truth otherwise you'll be led up the garden path for many months to come. SCORPIO - Six of Pentacles Successful week ahead as you are rewarded for past efforts with some kind of bonus and if you continue to throw your energy into the task then further rewards await. For some, expect some kind of promotion or success in in a job interview. Friends, love ones and associates are likely to be generous if you need some financial help. SAGITTARIUS - Five of Swords It may be difficult for you to keep a lid on your temper as you discover what’s been going on behind your back. You’ll be pretty upset by the underhanded dealings of others as you are usual- ly a good judge of character. Sometimes you trust unconditionally only to find you’ve been hoodwinked by a charming attitude. Time to wise up! CAPRICORN - Four of Swords Take time out to contemplate your navel and take steps to restore depleted your energy. Meditation or alone time may be a necessity so don't waste time with the so called "in crowd". Set yourself apart, especially if in the negotiation phase of an important deal. Others can't add to your perfect plan so don't bother asking for sec- ond opinions. AQUARIUS - Three of Cups A week to let your hedonistic side rule. You want fun and lots of it. The best way to ensure this happens is to spend time with those who make you happy. If you've not caught up with good friends lately, now's the time to reach out. This card signals abundant times, socially, financially and career wise through networking opportuni- ties. PISCES - Five of Wands Cooperation, or the lack of it from key associates, has been troubling you for some time. If a friend- ship, relationship or business connection is trou- blesome, communication's the key to sorting the problem. Nothing’s wrong with sitting round a table with a cuppa, vino or beer to talk things through and sort it out; or to even agree to disa- gree. The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 11 Review

Mary-Lynne Stadler Celebrity Sundays Art Classes and The Banyan Tree Studio Jacaranda, Es Canar Carly S This Sunday saw the final instalment of Celebrity Sunday's at the beautiful Jacaran- da Lounge in Es Canar and what a finale it was! We arrived at around half eight to hear the ever impressive Charlie Starr performing a retro set of disco and pop classics as she owned the stage above the pool, looking every inch the diva in a gorgeous black and gold 60's style dress and long boots and grooving away with her bump...that baby will come out dancing and singing! Paddy Slater Next up was the return of Shane Ritchie Jnr, who proved he could get a party going back in June at the opening party so was a great Ibiza. Andorra. Preston. choice to perform at the closing. Looking smooth in all black and Stephen Donovan ready with witty banter to get the crowd involved, he had the Paddy Slater, a house hold name around San Antonio, playing in stage full of dancing revellers as he sang pitch perfect perfor- Ibiza Rocks Bar, Sol House and Pikes Hotel to name just a few. mances of artists including Bruno Mars, Michael Jackson, Black Paddy is one of the finest singers, songwriters and musicians this For Children Eyed Peas and Walk the Moon and even busted out a moonwalk island has to offer. Throughout the summer I have been running Kids’ Art Work- himself. His easy rapport with the crowd, cheeky chappy demean- At only 26 years old Paddy plays with such brilliance and effort- shops at Punta Verde Restaurant in Cala Nova on three days our, silky voice and smooth moves made for a great show. It's lessness you´d think he has been in the game for twenty or thirty each week. The children seem to have really enjoyed them- always a pleasure to watch an entertainer who clearly loves what years. Hailing from Preston, England (not Ireland, like his name selves – on several occasions it has been the parents, not the they do and Shane is just such a performer. might let you believe) but spending most of his time between Following Shane and Ibiza and Andorra Paddy has got his craft down to a tee. Catering children, who have been champing at the bit to leave – and returning to the venue for a huge range of audiences Paddy is able to get a bar or wher- quite often parents have brought their children back on an- for a third time with ever he may be playing from sitting quietly to up on their feet other day to do another workshop with me. their infectious, foot dancing and singing in literally a space of 10 songs (or less), how In winter I will continue to offer Art Workshops for Children stomping mixes of he does it is down to the range of music he plays and the persona at my studio in Cala Llenya – The Banyan Tree Studio – by classic house, Phats he brings while playing. Engaging the entire audience and always prior arrangement. They will be for small groups of children and Small absolutely keeping them entertained from the very first strum of his guitar. of all ages. The minimum number I need to run a workshop is smashed it. A tight Paddy has amazing varieties of music playing everything from 3 children. The maximum number will be 6. The workshop schedule of jetting in rock to pop to dance and everything else in between. I honestly duration is two hours, the cost per child €25 per session, ma- directly from a gig in don´t think there’s a song this man doesn’t know how to play or terials included. Croatia saw them sing. But Paddy isn´t just happy to play other peoples music, I am also offering to run Art Workshops at children’s parties arrive with just Paddy is also a talented song writer. Some of you may have seen and at events throughout the year. Prices for this on applica- minutes to spare , but his new track ´Shoulder´ on Facebook or Youtube. It’s a fantastic tion and dependant on several variable such as location, num- this didn't phase sea- acoustic song with deep and emotional lyrics; this catchy number ber of children involved etc. soned professionals like Jason and Ben. Setting up quickly as the will have you listening to it over and over. Make sure to check it gorgeously sultry Elena danced a belly dance routine, they out online! launched straight into their versions and mixes of anthemic I catch up with Paddy on Monday evening for his gig at Joe For Adults tracks, Jason grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he danced behind the Spoons Irish Bar on the Westend. Starting off his set with all the For adults I offer tailor-made Art Classes at the Studio decks and mixed tracks as only he can and Ben bouncing and crowd favorites, ´Mr. Brightside´, ´Wonderwall´ , ´Teenage Dirt- throughout the year, for all levels of ability and experience, strutting as he sang and MCed in his unique, confident, soulful bag´ and then into some of the newer pop tracks. Having seen from novice to advanced. I adapt the content of the classes – style. The place was packed, and soon enough they had the stage, Paddy before, I have a few personal favorites of his and I couldn´t drawing, painting (acrylic and oil), printmaking or mixed me- poolside and pool full of singing, dancing, bouncing, splashing, help but ask him to play, so gladly he performs his dance melody. dia - to the needs and skills of my students, and I cater for smiling, laughing people. The love and passion these guys have It’s really something to witness, all the old school dance music individuals and small groups (maximum 6 people). Dates and for their music is palpable and you can't help but get caught up in played on piano and mashed into one serious 7 or 8 minute song. it...even I ended up in the pool, arms aloft, singing along and It certainly got the Joe Spoons dance floor full and jumping! times can be arranged to suit. doing my best attempts to dance in water. I was driving so could- However, not looking to steal the show all by himself, Paddy is The options are: n't indulge in their delicious drinks, but when the vibe's that always happy to share his stage with any one brave enough to A one-off 3-hour taster workshop good, who needs alcohol?! come up and sing a song. Being after one or two pints of San A more immersive experience for a day (6 hours) with Hats off to the whole team at Jacaranda for putting on these Miguel, I offer my services and Paddy carries me with his fantastic lunch included unique and electric events, I for one have massively enjoyed playing while I almost empty the bar with my awful rendition of them. The fun doesn't Mustang Sally. While some musicians are happy to be able just to A longer course of exploration into the creative skills stop here though, play guitar or piano, Paddy plays both during his sets with his listed above, involving weekly 3-hour sessions over a peri- Jacaranda is still run- amazing ability using a loop pedal. Playing each part and building od of at least one month. (But if people really want to ning all it's other up a track is truly amazing to watch live. make progress, I recommend coming for a longer period). events until the end of Paddy finishes his set with the crowd singing ´ONE MORE TUNE, Prices on application. the season. ONE MORE TUNE´ and gets a massive round of applause from the Owner Mandy also full bar. If you have an evening free in Ibiza this man is definitely a announced last night must see! Who Am !? that she'll be touring Paddy is also available for private functions and weddings. You I am a professional artist who came to it late in life, once I the Jacaranda Lounge can catch Paddy play Joe Spoons Irish Bar on Monday and met someone who encouraged me to take up my pencil and parties in Thailand this Wednesday, Shenanigans’ on Tuesdays and Fridays, Ibiza Rocks draw after I had spent over twenty five years as a thwarted winter, look out for Bar on Thursdays and Sundays and Sol House Mallorca Saturdays. creative with absolutely no confidence in my own ability. more on their website. www.paddyslatermusic.com Through this ex- perience I know just how hard it can be to over- come the mental Copa de Ibiza blocks that bad experiences set Words Terry Burrows Photo Hattie Scanlan up in us, and So after 3 days of football in the September heat Café del Mar what we need in walked away with the Copa de Ibiza and placed it firmly behind order to re-cover their historic bar in the San Antonio venue. our confidence Matchday 1 saw Ocean Beach go though as Group A winners beat- in our own im- ing everyone in their group while scoring 10 with 0 against. Es pulse to be crea- Paradis joined them, finishing 2nd. Group B was slightly tighter tive. with Café del Mar topping the group and Plastik going through in I see my artist 2nd place. The stage was set for Matthews do try and go one better than his self (indeed, team’s last 2 years of quarter final eliminations and banish the myself) as a memory of the now famous penalty miss of 2014. who had the chance to put Plastik through. The crowd gathered, work in pro- Matchday 2 brought us 4 more quarter finalists with Privilege, gress. If I can the pressure intensified and the sun was continuing to beat down. Amnesia, Linekers and Space all progressing to the finals day on Could he stand the pressure? ….of course not, he missed again. instil that sim- Saturday. The match finished 6-5 on pens to Linekers after sudden death. ple truth about The tournament so far brought us goals, saves, drama but more Café del Mar beat Ocean 2 – 0 in the first of the semis with Es themselves into importantly a new character, Mauro from Café del Mar, or as he is Paradis beating Linekers 2 – 0 in the other semi final. my students, I now known, Mourinho. Shouting and running up and down the The final was a tense affair and finished 0 – 0. Mourinho was on feel as though I line as the manager of the venue, he drove them as they went form as ever barking instructions at the Café del Mar team. They have set them through to finals day. won 5-4 on penalties after sudden death. The terraces rang out on their way. In On another boiling hot day, the football commenced. Ocean with chants of "Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho” and the team the words of Beach, Es Paradis and Café del Mar all went through in the first 3 went crazy. An emotional manager gave an interview to our host quarter finals beating Amnesia, Privilege and Space respectively. for the day, talkSPORT’s Geoff Peters and got soaked with beer Lao Tzu: ‘A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent The 4th quarter final saw 2015 finalists Linekers take on Plastik. on arriving.’ from his troops. They went on to collect the medals and pick up After gaining a 2-0 lead Plastik were looking favourites but some the trophy followed by more alcohol soaking and cheers of Mour- Contact Mary-Lynne on Tel: +34722727382 or via great football by Linekers saw them pull it back to 2-2 and go to inho. [email protected] penalties. So this was it, history repeating itself as it does so much The team at Copa de Ibiza would like to thank all the venues and https://www.facebook.com/oilpainteratlarge/ in football. Matthews put himself up as the 5th and last penalty players for taking part and congratulate Café del Mar on being taker and with both teams scoring 3 up to this point it was him champions. See you all next year!

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 12

Shut Up and Dance, Rio San Antonio Claire B Shut Up and Dance is a new free party every Thursday @ new venue Rio in San Antonio overlooking the marina. This week on Thursday September 8 none other than Miguel Campbell is in the house with his Outcross Records 10th Anniversary Par- ty featuring the man himself, plus long-time Outcross produc- er talent Iain O’Hare and MAM (Miguel and Matt Hughes). The Outcross Records boys will be joined on the decks by Shut Up and Dance regulars Lisa Chadderton, LIPOUS and Roots and Sanchez. Shut Up And Dance was born in Brazil and was huge there. And now Shut Up And Dance Ibiza is born. The idea behind the party is to do a free party every week that can run through the winter and bring a fresh breath of musical air to San Anto- nio. The music played will be mostly good quality house mixed with a bit of disco and tech house. Occasional live and art exhibits will be brought in too. Every Thursday From 8pm to 3am – free entrance. More info on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ events/1770774516532280/ The band came onto the stage amidst clouds of CO2 and launched into instrumental ‘Emergency’. Then Maxi Jazz appeared to loud screams and cheers from the excited crowd, beginning with ‘All Races’ followed by ‘God is a DJ’, as Melon Bomb Maxi bounced around on the stage and the crowd got their phones out to capture what they were seeing and jumped up San Antonio and down in unison. Maxi is one cool dude of a frontman and Claire B sported a stylish dark brown suit with the jacket open at the Melon Bomb is back at Ibiza Rocks House at Pikes on Friday Faithless front, showing off his toned, muscley chest. Sister Bliss coolly September 9. It all kicks off at 10pm poolside with Pioneer Ibiza Rocks, San Antonio commanded over her banks of keyboards as she got into the Radio broadcasting the party live to the airwaves. Then from groove and played the riffs we all know and love. The bassist 12 the party moves indoors to Freddie’s Suite. On the decks Words Claire B Photos Luke Dyson and guitarist strutted around the stage at every available will be Corbi, Ben Santiago, Paul Reynolds, Scott Gray, Sean Last Wednesday it was the turn of the ever-popular Faithless opportunity. They played all their favourites, including Hughes and Ian Woodall. Melon Bomb’s ethos is to bring some to grace the stage at Ibiza Rocks. The venue was packed with ‘Muhammad Ali’, ‘Mass Destruction’, ‘Salva Mea’ and more, but funk and soul to the island in the form of old school jams, a slightly older and more mixed crowd than usual as half the for many, myself included, the highlight was the massive tune soul, funk, disco and soulful house and you can be sure that island came out in force to see the band’s only Ibiza perfor- that is ‘Insomnia’, and as it built up to its peak, the crowd in- the dancefloor will be rammed as usual! mance this year. Having reunited for their 20th anniversary evitably got more excited as it did so, reaching fever pitch as Free entrance but guest list is required from Pikes last year, they've been playing selected venues and festivals Sister Bliss played THAT synth riff in the middle! It's always a since then and are on a roll.

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 13

great tune to hear and with the classic line of “and let me For me, Faithless are one of those seminal bands. Their work view that huge names in music have an obligation to die be- dream of making mad love on the heath, tearing off tights may not have been prolific in quantity, but the quality of the fore 30 is probably a little strong, I am just wanting to ensure with my teeth”, what’s not to like and it’s great live! With a classics that are Insomnia and We Come One give them a get we are spared the hideous spectacle of Kirk Brandon with brilliant laser and light show and plenty of dry ice accompany- out of jail free card on any further expectation. jowls, and marc almond on the breakfast tv sofa plugging ing them throughout the show there was plenty to like. I I’m not going to pretend I have a really deep relationship with another comeback with tales of cum. loved them - I've always liked their music and live they be- their lesser known works, I don’t. I have their albums, but I think some memories are best left as exactly that, not dilut- come heavier and the guitars and drummers inject a large never play them. Why bother when I will never get bored of ed with a weaker version 20 years on. dose of rock into the mix. It was a great gig - lots of happy those incredible anthems. I didn’t think that possible from faithless, because I consid- punters and the band were clearly enjoying being back to- I remember hearing insomnia on the dancefloor for the first ered them just too cool. gether and playing live. Faithless really are a perfect act for time in a club in Mallorca. It must have ben pre release be- I expected that in the intervening 16 years they would have Ibiza Rocks, with their combination of dance music fused with cause everybody looked as lost as me when the chimes of Big honed their major contributions to the history of music into rock guitar and some heavy percussion. Ben suddenly cut through the mix. Hearing it for the first some 25 minute long seminal work that had people dropping The summer season is rapidly drawing to a close, and will end time you didn’t know where it was going, but I remember to the floor in worship and/or an involuntary collapse of legs on September 14 with Wolf Alice and Mallorcan band LA play- sensing this is gonna be good.—it was, and some. through orgasm. ing at the closing party. The official after party at Ibiza Rocks Best Dance track ever? I don’t like those type of questions I thought I would be hearing music for angels played by god’s House at Pikes, hosted by Rock Nights will see special guest but if pushed, yes it probably is. My all time favourite. chosen ones. Nice of them to say he was a DJ, but I knew it Marky Ramone taking to the decks - a night not to be missed! I got to see them live around 2000 I guess, an incredible night, was you all the time, kind of thing. and since then ‘we come one‘ has been with me daily as my But it just wasn’t. It was just faithless. Now as I said at the ringtone - . Both records have been near the front of my box outset, just faithless is better than the majority of bands at permanently. their best, but for me it was just a bit, well, flat. LessFaith In the run up I was posting ‘days to go’ faithless nonsense on I never want to be conscious that a band are playing because Same Gig, Different View facebook like a teen with her first boy band crush. Most sig- they want their fee, and that is what it felt like. Nick Gibbs nificantly perhaps I even got the paper finished early and got Having said that everybody I know (except one person, Dar- OK it wasn’t as if I thought they were bad as such, I just ex- to go out Wednesday night for the first time since I started in ren Hanna take a bow) said they thought it was brilliant, and pected, at least I hoped, for far more. my current job. judging by how many of them were determined to record it on I don’t want to come over a s a miserable git by default—so I So you can probably tell, I’m a bit of a fan. their phones I guess they must be right. will briefly state my case as not walking through the door Claire B and I have very different views on going to see old with a negative outlook. bands still playing. She loves it and though my often aired

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 14 The Guide ... Transport & Storage

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Jezza’s World of Sport Typical! After last week's report regarding the upcoming Rugby League Ryder Cup I strongly advised Europe captain Darren Clark to OMG! England Win Changing codes, and it's still the Super 8's in England and a go for his countryman McDowell in his last wildcard pick but change at t'top o' t'table with Warrington the new leaders no, he went for the rookie Belgian Pieters, who, I must admit from Hull, as they beat Catalans in the Pyrenees 25-22 while has had a great season. But, just remember, Mr Clark, by At Cricket And Football! Hull drop to 2nd but only a point behind with Wigan in 3rd 2 these decisions you can rise or fall, so let's hope you were points further back, followed by St Helens, Catalans, Castle- holding your lucky Irish 4 leaf clover and that choice turns out Cricket ford, Widnes and Wakefield. to be a matchwinner! Elsewhere great news for Clark and Didn't they do well, Captain Morgan's boys! OK they lost the especially Rory Mac as he came right back to form with his last match of the ODI Series but by that time they already best performance of the year as he won the Deutsche Bank Tennis Championship in Boston, Mass. with a superb 65 in the final had the Series won, as they were leading by 4-0 having won now and it's over to Flushing Meadow, New York for the US the 3rd and 4th matches last week. The 3rd match was just round and a score of 15 under to win by 2 shots from Eng- Open, the final Major of the year and what a surprise as Brit- land's Paul Casey who had a disastrous final round of 73 but incredible and just proves that this current set of players are ain supplied FIVE players (4 men and a woman) in the 3rd definitely becoming a very good outfit under Morgan, Bayliss at least showed that he is on his way back to form. Round for the first time for God knows how long! Forget the Well, that's about it for this week as I head off to the main- and Farbrace, as they absolutely pulverised Pakistan scoring a fact that we're now in to the 4th and 5th rounds (Quarters) massive 444 in their 50 overs, a new World Record score for land for a mini-break and R and R with “'er indoors!”, 5 days, and only Andy Murray remains but great credit must go to yes, that's all, for our first and last holiday of the year. Oh, an ODI and including a new English ODI individual record of Kyle Edmund who beat two higher seeded players Gasquet 171 scored by Alex Hales. Having won that one by 190 odd whoops, dearie me, I almost forgot as it was so far in the back and Isner) to reach the 4th round only to come up against of my mind, in runs, the 4th was much closer with England winning by 4 World No 1 Djokovic, to Dan Evans for reaching the 3rd wickets to take that 4-0 Series lead. Finally, at Cardiff, with round and who almost beat the No 4 seed Wawrinka and to England going for their first ever home ODI whitewash (5-0) Johanna Konta, who eventually ran out of steam, just when Football under grey Welsh skies, Pakistan at last pulled their socks up she had to play an unseeded player in the 4th round and was England, as if we really care now, won their first qualifying and showed some pride to win by 4 wickets despite a gallant clear favourite to do so. So, in the end, and as usual, Murray's match under new manager Sam Allardyce in their World Cup 87 from England's Roy. flying the flag and is now in to the Quarters after beating Group, beating Slovakia 1-0 in Trnava with a 95th minute goal So, just the T20 to come on Wednesday before the Pakistanis unseeded Italian, Lorenzi! Will he go all the way and win his as Liverpool's Lallana scored his first international goal after wend their weary way home and England look forward to 2nd US Open? If he gets to the Final, which I think he will, 26 appearances! Come back Stevie G and Lamps, please! Not their upcoming tour to Bangladesh and India during the win- odds on he will have to play Djokovic and I can see him beat- a disaster then but not far from it, as these stats prove: in ter, after a superb summer of home internationals, stuffing ing the Serb, as Novak doesn't seem to have got over his two matches against Slovakia (this one and in June at Euro Sri Lanka in the Tests, ODI's and T20, and then sharing the personal problems which have been bugging him all summer 16) England had 45 shots on goal, with 10 on target and Tests 2-2 with Pakistan, winning the ODI Series and hopefully, and also he still has a dicky wrist, so go for it, Andy! scored ONE and England captain Rooney did not have one the T20. Well done to all and Cricket England is certainly touch in the opposition's box through the whole of this looking good for the future! match! No wonder I'd rather watch one of my cats having a Cycling poo in the litter box or even watch paint dry than England Rugby Union Commiserations to Chris Froome, as in his quest to win the playing footie. What a turn off, the football not the poo! Vuelta de España to cap off a stunning year (Tour de France Better news for Scotland as they trounced those internation- and t'was the opening round of the new Premiership season and Olympic medal) and become the first cyclist to win the over the w/end and there were some small shocks vis-a-vis al giants of Malta 5-1, while Northern Ireland drew 0-0 with TdF and Vuelta since 1978, he was handily placed in 2nd to the Czech Republic and Wales carried on their Euro16 form as Newcastle, hotly tipped for relegation this season, winning his main rival, Colombian Quintana, but thanks to a disastrous against Sale and Bath, after their miserable season last term, the best national team in GB, as they humbled Moldova 4-0 in last stage is now 3.37 minutes behind and with only 5 stages Cardiff with Gareth Bale netting a brace. winning at Northampton for the first time for many a year. to go, he literally has “a mountain to climb” to even get near Elsewhere, champions Saracens carried on where they left off That's definitely it for now, must get my bags packed, board- the Colombian but as he says, he's not a quitter and will cer- ing passes printed and mustn't forget to clean the cat litter last season, winning yet again, this time 35-3 against Worces- tainly go for it. ter, Leicester won at Gloucester, Wasps at Exeter and otherwise Lily and Charlie, our dependable and pet-loving Harlequins were pushed all the way but eventually villa-sitters will not be happy bunnies! Seeya! won at home 21-19 against promoted Bristol. Golf ……………………...Jezza through the field to finish collided on the first lap. Nasir was Standings 9. Nico Hlkenberg (GER) 46 10. Felipe Massa (BRA) 41 Monza GP second. handed a 10-second penalty by 1. Lewis Hamilton (GBR) 250 points Ferrari's Sebastian Vettel race stewards. Ultimately both 2. Nico Rosberg (GER) 248 and Kimi Raikkonen crossed third drivers retired from the race. Man- 3. Daniel Ricciardo (AUS) 161 and fourth, respectively. or driver Pascal Werhlein also re- Remaining Races 4. Sebastian Vettel (GER) 143 Sep 18 Singapore Grand Prix It was Rosberg's first Italian win, his tired from the race due to mechani- Hamilton 5. Kimi Rikknen (FIN) 136 Oct 02 Malaysian Grand Prix seventh of the season and 21st of cal issues. 6. Max Verstappen (NED) 121 Oct 09 Japanese Grand Prix his career, boosting his champion- 7. Valtteri Bottas (FIN) 70 Oct 23 United States Grand Prix botches start but ship challenge with seven races 8. Sergio Prez (MEX) 62 Oct 30 Mexican Grand Prix remaining. Drivers' Championship recovers to take Rosberg said: "Thank you very much guys. It's great to win Italy." It was also the 50th podium finish second behind of Rosberg's career and prevented Hamilton completing a cherished Rosburg hat-trick of Italian wins, to equal a Hamilton got off the line at the feat achieved only once before by same time as the other cars but Juan Manuel Fangio in the 1950's, immediately fell behind, dropping and register his 50th career victory. to sixth before the first corner. It was the first time in seven years Hamilton, who effectively lost the that the race was not won by the race in the first 20 metres when driver starting from pole position. the lights went out, now leads the Daniel Ricciardo finished fifth for title race with 250 points ahead of Red Bull ahead of Valtteri Bottas of Rosberg on 248. Williams, Dutch teenager Max Rosberg, who started second, took Verstappen who was seventh in the the early lead and cruised to his second Red Bull, Sergio Perez of seventh win of the season, second Force India, retirement-bound Fe- straight this year and first of his lipe Massa in the second Williams career at the storied Monza circuit, and German Nico Hulkenberg in which has hosted more F1 racing the second Force India. than any other track. Crashes, retirements Rosberg also cut Hamilton's cham- The first lap also saw a huge crash pionship lead to two points with between Renault and Sauber rook- seven races remaining. ies. Hamilton climbed his way back Felipe Nasr and Joylon Palmer

The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com Page 16

Agenda Continued From Page 2 Cinema Returns Santa Eulalia Teatroespana recommences its programme of films screened in the original English, with Spanish subtitles. Fri 9th to Sun 11th Sept @21-00h The Program (2015 PG 15 1hr 43mins) An Irish sports journalist becomes convinced that Lance Armstrong's performances during the Tour de France victories are fuelled by banned substances. With this convic- tion, he starts hunting for evidence that will expose Arm- strong. Stars: Ben Foster, Chris O'Dowd, Guillaume Canet. Showing Wed 14 & Fri 16th to Sun 19th Sept @19:00h Café Society (2016 PG 12A 1h 36min) In the 1930s, a young Bronx native moves to Hollywood where he falls in love with the Ibosim Special Edition secretary of his powerful uncle, an agent to the stars. After returning to New York, he is swept up in the vibrant world of high society nightclub life. Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Launch Party Stewart, Steve Carell Port des Torrent In anticipation of the forthcoming Ibiza Beer Festival on Sep- tember 16th, the islands own craft brewers Ibosim are hold- ing a launch party for their new special edition beer. Free Family Beach Fun. The event is taking place at their brewery on Cala Valencia, in Cala Llonga Port des Torrent from 7pm on Saturday 10th September. They promise countless surprises including a prize draw, and Brian Whetton music from Eva Pacifico and Hoppy Dread playing an eclectic This coming Sunday 11th Sept Circo-lar are performing from session. mid-day to 10pm on the beach in Cala LLonga. Circo-lar is an all-round family show, suitable for anyone aged from 0 to 99 years old. It offers a perfect mixture of culture and entertainment unit- Casi Todo Art & Jewel- ing the best magic spectacles with music, dance, theatre and juggling with the opportunity of audience participation, if you so desire! lery Auction. Circo-lar is presented by Berrobamban members and it's Ibiza claimed to be one of the most entertaining and interesting shows of the country. In addition to recommencing their regular auctions at the It’s all FREE and it's here in Cala LLonga. Santa Gertrudis headquarters, Casi Todo have added a special Art & Jewellery date to their schedule, including the facility to have articles valued by experts. viewing is over the 14th, 15th and 16th, with the auction Based in Ibiza Town’s Royal Plaza Hotel, Valuations are availa- itself being held at 7pm on Friday 16th. See advert . ble by appointment on the 14th and 15th.