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Just For Fun The Greatest Real Estate Movies of All Time Stephen Malpezzi This publication is not one that readers Developing a Story Line only one Cary Grant. And Shelley Long typically associate with movie reviews. A subject often discussed in films is real as an ’80s Myrna Loy? Fuhgeddabahddit. But the idea is not so far-fetched; Roger estate development. My all-time favorite A better modern variant of classic screw- Ebert is an Illinois graduate whose late cinematic real estate developer is Lex ball real estate comedies is Housesitter, partner, Gene Siskel, was a lifelong Luthor, fabulously played by Danville, with Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn. Chicagoan. And let’s face it: everyone Illinois native Gene Hackman in Super- Bad things can also happen when you loves movies. But why did we go to U of I man (a film whose hero is claimed as a renovate a house, as in Pacific Heights, rival Wisconsin to find someone to link native by Metropolis, Illinois). Lex plans although my personal favorite in this the cinema to our readers’ other great to “create value” for Nevada scrubland he category, also starring Michael Keaton, love, real estate? Because we knew of no owns by bombing the San Andreas Fault, is Beetlejuice. Keaton’s slapstick turn as one able to do the job more credibly than sending California plunging into the the manic title ghost, trying to scare new our friend, film buff Hollywood Steve sea, and turning his land into beachfront owners out of the house he haunts, is hys- Malpezzi. And while we considered titles property. What a development concept! terical. See why I avoid rehab projects? like “Big Ten to Big Screen,” “Yes, I Superman also contains this priceless And don’t forget: especially bad things Cannes,” and the obvious “Reel Estate,” scene between Lex, his inept henchman can happen when you develop atop old we all agreed that no one would pass up Otis (Ned Beatty), and his moll Miss graveyards. If in doubt, see Poltergeist. the chance to read about “The Greatest Tessmacher (Valerie Perrine), in Lex’s Happily, you don’t have to under- Real Estate Movies of All Time.” lair situated 500 feet below Park Avenue: take the renovations yourself to experi- LL: Thanks to the generous help of the US ence problems. You can hire Tin Men, Everyone enjoys a night at the movies, Government, we are about to be involved in the second in Barry Levinson’s Baltimore and everyone who reads the Illinois Real the greatest real estate swindle of all time! Trilogy. Richard Dreyfuss and Danny Estate Letter enjoys talking about real MT: Lex, what is this obsession with real DeVito play feuding aluminum siding estate. Have you ever thought about how estate? All the time, land, land, land. salesmen in a story set in the 1950s, closely the two subjects are connected? LL: Miss Tessmacher, when I was six years before technological advancements had Once you think about it, you come to old my father said to me… made it possible to get ripped off buying realize that almost every one of the best MT: Get out! vinyl siding. (Baltimore fans can also see movies is, at its heart, about real estate. LL: Before that. He said, son, stocks may the films of John Waters, if they don’t To begin with, virtually every rise and fall. Utilities and transportation mind plots with no real estate connection, Western ever made is about property systems may collapse. People are no damn and if their stomachs are up to it.) good. But they will always need land, and rights (“No sheep farmer gonna put no they will pay through the nose to get it. fence on that range,” as though the hardy Remember, my father said … You Can Also Rent the Video herders would meekly endure the threats The previous section involved films LL and O, in chorus: Laaaand! of a bunch of cattle ropin’ varmints). about single-family homes. Those more If the hero is not putting up a fence (or Of course, there are many develop- interested in multifamily should view taking it down), the villain is stealing ment movies, like Bugsy and Field of The Apartment, directed by Billy Wilder. someone else’s land. The Big Country, Dreams. Frankly, Field is a bit sappy for Jack Lemmon lends his flat to boss Fred The Magnificent Seven, McCabe and my taste, but it has one of the all-time McMurray, for the latter’s affair with Mrs. Miller, The Sons of Katie Elder, great developer lines: “If I build it, they Shirley MacLaine. Naturally, Lemmon Giant, and even Cat Ballou and Blazing will come.” Sound like any developers falls for MacLaine, while learning about Saddles; the examples are too numerous you know? In a 1990s update, the hero life and lease provisions. Many rate to list. My personal favorite from this might utter: “If anyone will finance this, Lemmon’s and MacLaine’s performances genre is Shane, with Jack Palance even I will build it, and if the market is not as among the best of their careers. badder than in Batman (discussed below), already overbuilt they will come.” And Slightly less sophisticated – all right, and certainly more terrifying than in City don’t forget The Apprenticeship of Dud- a lot less sophisticated – is the view of Slickers, another property rights film. dy Kravitz, with Richard Dreyfuss cast multifamily living in Joe’s Apartment. A technique professors use to keep against type as a manic developer. The film’s stars are hundreds of roaches students interested is to tell them stories Another great development movie is that live in Joe’s digs. These are not about successful, creative professionals Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, ordinary roaches; they are – you guessed and their work. In real estate we have an in which the residential development it – party animals. In a different vein, the abundance of real world examples to use, process is explained by Cary Grant and famous demolition of Pruitt-Igoe’s large of course, and truth is often stranger than Myrna Loy. This classic is far superior public housing blocks is set to Phillip fiction. Still, many of us talk about real to its recent remake, The Money Pit. Tom Glass’s minimalist score in Koyaanis- estate and the movies in all of our classes. Hanks is a first rate actor, but there is qatsi (Hopi for “life out of balance”). Winter 1999 Illinois Real Estate Letter page 9 Just For Fun It’s A Wonderful Flick, Too a living on the land; examples are The Real estate development and the A lump of coal for the stocking of anyone Grapes of Wrath and The River. In a government-provided infrastructure are who can’t name the greatest real estate lighter vein – very light – is one of my closely intertwined. That’s the theme of finance movie ever: Frank Capra’s It’s A childhood favorites, Ma and Pa Kettle on Chinatown (inspired by the Owens Valley Wonderful Life. Too complex to recount Old MacDonald’s Farm. Who can forget water grab that fueled the early Los in detail (but sufficiently well known that Percy Killbride and Marjorie Main? Angeles real estate boom), with corrup- there is little need), Life chronicles the Two more favorites in the farm genre tion and incest thrown in. Jack Nicholson S&L (“building and loan”) business the are based on novels by Pagnol: Jean de plays Jake Gittings, a hard boiled private way it was supposed to be. The scene of Florette and Manon of the Spring. The eye in best film noir style. Jack is rarely the run on the bank, with an impassioned eponymous Jean (Gerard Depardieu) upstaged, but old pro John Huston steals George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) explain- is an educated city dweller, a hunchback this movie as Noah Cross, one of the ing the prisoner’s dilemma facing the de- who has read about farming his whole most despicable and amoral villains ever positors, who have lent to each other, is life. He puts his life savings into a parcel to grace celluloid. It’s Polanski’s best priceless. No Charles Keatings in Frank of land in arid Provence, and ruthless film since The Fearless Vampire Killers Capra’s world, and no FSLIC-insured neighbor Le Patet (Yves Montand) sec- (one of the few great movies not about brokered deposits! (But there is Lionel retly blocks the hidden spring on Jean’s real estate). Other films whose plots Barrymore’s evil-to-the-core Mr. Potter.) land. Ruin and death slowly overtake our revolve around land grabs of one type Capra’s depiction of how Bedford Falls noble hero, who struggles to haul enough or another include Mr. Smith Goes to becomes the depraved Potterville, when water to keep the farm. In the sequel, Washington (Edward Arnold is out to its citizens are renters instead of home daughter Manon takes her revenge. get Willett’s Creek for a song) and Who owners, surely warms the cockles of Framed Roger Rabbit? (greedy Christo- every Fannie Mae executive’s heart. Heartbreak Hotels pher Lloyd and his gang of weasels set Other real estate finance movies Think your landlord is nasty? See The out to take over lovable Toontown). abound, such as Lost in America, which People Under the Stairs. Slightly less shows what not to do with home equity. diabolical is Joe Pesci in The Super. Of One Town that Won’t Let You Down Yuppies played by Albert Brooks and course, there are tenants from hell in Speaking of government and real estate, Julie Hagerty take out their capital gain, films, too, as in Pacific Heights (noted the whole plot (did you remember there quit their jobs, and travel across America above), and The Tenant, directed by – was a plot?) of The Blues Brothers is that in the biggest Winnebago seen since The and starring – Roman Polanski.

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