"Ugly iniiJuiJtel continue w mor the f«e ofour ntl/U)n. We an sur«, ne4Ter tlu beginnbtg than the end ofthe struggle."- WUJimn }. BrtnTUUI Jr. Volume XXXDI, Number 7 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 October 13, 1998 Hispanic Heritage Month ... World Bank, IMF Policies Blamed for Nicaragua's Plight

BRAD BENNETT tee and the Latino Student Union. Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Nicaragua, a country with an un­ employment rate of 70 percent - The exploitation of Nicaragua's a figure which has more than people and fertile land are being doubled since the country's return supported by policies mandated by to democratic rule in 1990 - is the World Bank and International presently one of the most impover­ Monetary Fund (IMF), according to ished nations in the hemisphere. Nicaraguan ecologist Magda According to Lanuza, foreign in­ Lanuza. vestment is one of the impositions Lanuza underscored the role of made on Nicaragua by the World Jason Pursche I Retriever Weekly Staff these financial institutions in the Bank in order to receive continued On a roll: Freshman Jennifer Wilhelm and the Retrievers knocked off Monmouth, 2-1, on prevailing state of poverty that pres­ payments. Several foreign investors Sunday to improve to 5-1 in Northeast Conference play on the season. ently exists in Nicaragua during a now control Nicaragua's mining, lecture last Wednesday sponsored by the Progressive Action Commit- see NICARAGUA. page 2 USM Considers MS Contract Minimal Fee for Upgrades Can Be Avoided

GABEMARCUS Indiana. ucts," he explained. These packages Retriever Weekly Staff Writer And although UMBC will not will include not only the software, delete current software or prohibit but options to purchase documen­ The University System of Mary­ non-Microsoft software, Seuss be­ tation and training on the software land (USM) is currently consider­ lieves Microsoft software may be being purchased as weU. ing a contract which would allow preferred due to the price advan­ Software covered under the con­ students to receive current updates tage. tract will include: 32 bit OS Up­ of Microsoft software at minimal or "Are we becoming pro­ grade (Win95, Win98, WinNT no cost. Jack Seuss, director of Microsoft?" Seuss asked. He said Workstations), FrontPage, Office computer services, originally pro­ no because UMBC is already pur­ 97 Pro, Microsoft Word 97, Excel posed the contract to officials of the chasing Microsoft products. 97, Access 97, PowerPoint 97, Out- USM after examining a similar sys­ "This is a more cost-effective tem in place at the University of way of licensing Microsoft prod- see MICROSOFT, page 2 Celebrating and Educating Hispanic Student Group Sponsors Week of Events

RABIAH MAYAS September 15 to October 15. Since the holiday's inception, Retriever Weekly Staff Writer The month begins on Central Hispanic and Latino individuals American Independence Day and and organizations have worked to This week brings to a close a na­ ends during the week of Colum­ educate the American population tional celebration that many Ameri­ bus Day, signifying the early Span­ about their diverse heritage, includ­ cans know very little about: Na­ ish colonial influence in North ing food, music, and scientific and tional Hispanic Heritage Month. America. The holiday was created economic contributions to Ameri­ Congress first designated a His­ to increase awareness and under­ can and Spanish-speaking societies. Retriever Weekly Sraff panic Heritage Week in 1968, but standing of the history, cultures and "It is imponant that people in this Voice in the Darkness: Nicaraguan ecologist Magda Lanzua shed this was renamed 20 years later and contributions of Americans of light on Nicaragua's economic situation during last week's lecture. is now celebrated annually from Spanish-speaking backgrounds. see HERITAGE, pageJO

Saving the world What's Look, Volleyball contin­ with Emily Heun, WMBC, Hispanic hands/ The Re­ ues to beat up on Gabe Marcus tells History Month gets triever Weekly staff NEC competition, us what exactly its due, spaghetti shows you what's the unbeaten makes smokers sauce that woos, cooking, with loads streak of the men's suck, and Jessica more Sweating and of recipes (includ­ soccer team ends, Rothfus tells us all Burning, travels with Ing some low fat ' read about Kevin there is to know Anna Kaplan andre­ ones!) and tips on Goh and the. swim about the views of One True dealing with your team and a look at Thing and Beloved. very own kitchen. an NEC school. PAGE2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 13, 1998 Computer Deal Creates Uniformity "Netscape will most likely still be the de­ to be returned by December. when an evalua­ from MICROSOFT. page 1 fault browser,·· he noted. ·'WordPerfect users tion of the bids can be completed. According can stay WordPerfect users." to Seuss. the issue has progressed more rap­ look 3. Office 98 (MAC, Internet Explorer One advantage of this deal that Seuss idly than originally expected. Although it was 4.0. Outlook Express. Visual Studio Profes­ pointed out is that it keeps software up to date only proposed June. the deal may go into ef­ sional. Visual Basic. Visual C++. Visual Fox without the enorrnou!. cost for upgntdes. fect as earl) a~ January. Pro. Visual J++ and Visual InterDe\.) "Students won't have to plunk down $199 Seuss is excned about benefits the deal has Seuss is cl\\arc of two rumors circulating for DC\\ ~oftware." he said. Under this pro­ to offer. "lfthcrc\. no additional fee. [and 1t's] Liquor Distributor Faces regarding the Microsoft deal. The first. he pol>ed l>)'Stem. updates will be cheaper than simply a benefit of belonging to the Univer­ Charges said. is that extra fee:. would be charged to paying either retail or educational discounted sity of Maryland System. where ·s the down­ student~. However according to Seusl>. state value. Updating soft ware on the computer lab side?" he asked. After arresting 60 parltcrs. state li­ fundl> will be used to pay for this contract and workstations would also be significantly Mark Robinson. 19. a computer science ma­ quor agents are now going after the dis­ no additional fees will be charged to students. cheaper than purchasing individually licensed jor. can sec a problem with the deal however. tributor that sold 42 kegs to a party held Student~ may be charged a minimal fcc, softv.are. even if educationally discounted. '·[ don'tlikc it.'' he said. "I think Microsoft after a football game between Ohio similar to what students at the Umversity of Another advantage of this is the uniformity makes inferior products in most areas. Exist State and Penn State. The Columbus Indiana pay. for purchasmg the CD-ROM with of the S)'stem. ing fees should go to improve other areas on Distributing Co. rna) face charges from the ~oftwarc. However. Scuss explained. ~tu­ "We estimate 70 percent of students have a campus." the Ohio Liquor Control Commission dents do not have to purchase the CD if they personal computer. but don't have access to V.J. lye. a 19-year-old computer science for selling the kegs to a buyer '"'ithout want the update. Every student il> licensed the software we· retrying to teach. This would sophomore agrees calling the deal ··capital­ a permit. under the proposed deal. so therefore he said. give us consistency:· Seuss said. ism at its best." Under the Ohio Revised Code. kegs one student may copy another student's CD Seuss also believes this proposed deal will When asked why student input was not so­ purchased from wholesale companies legally. Such a practice currently would be il­ ease the transition for students transferring licited, Seuss said it was initially not thought must be for home use. Otherwise, a per­ legal, since purchasing software normally en­ from community college to UMBC by allow­ of as a student issue because no additional stu­ mit must be obtained from the Division titles the user to install only one copy of the ing the students to learn the same software they dent fees would be imposed. But after realiz­ of Liquor Control. software on a computer. will be using when they enter UM BC or other ing that students would be interested in voic­ "It is the company's responsibility to The second rumor about the deal Seuss USM schools. ing their opinions on the matter, Seuss cre­ ascertain this information from the wanted to correct is the thought that the UMS Seuss was quick to note that this contract is ated a newsgroup- umbc.issues.ms-contract buyer." said Patty Haskins. a spokes­ will have an exclusive contract with Microsoft not a deal with Microsoft directly. but will be - for students to discuss the issue. He also woman with the Division of Liquor thus excluding all other products. In reality. handled through an educational reseller. The said that he would be willing ro talk to the Control. 'They should have questioned Seuss said students may use whatever soft­ USM has sent out a request for proposals to Student Government Association (SGA) about the buyer to protect their own privi­ ware they prefer. several educational resellers and expects them the contract. leges.·· The Columbus Distributing Co. did not return calls they received. Liquor agents confiscated aU-Haul truck full of kegs and arrested 60 people Fixing Nicaragua's Problems because of underage drinking and other charges. from NICARAGUA, page I "The government is cutting off all their to invest. per person in Nicaragua. $58 per If the Ohio Liquor Control Commis­ institutions," noted Lanuza. year in education." said Lanuza. "In 1997 the sion fmds that the distributor violated logging and fishing industries. She explained that shortly after the Nica­ figures state that the government is invest­ the law. it could have its license revoked "Logging companies, when they get down raguan government began working with the ing $ 16 per person a year in education. Last or suspended and the company could there, the only thing they want is to take ev­ International Monetary Fund in 1994, the or­ year 600,000 kids couldn't go to school." also be fined. The other possibility is erything," she said. "How this policy of for­ gani zation pressured the Nicaraguan govern­ Education is not the only aspect of the pre­ the charges could be dismissed. eign investment has impacted Nicaragua, and ment to minimize its expenditures by priva­ viously socialist government that has been of course the rainforests. has been dramatic tizing its industries. As a result of privatiz­ affected by IMF insistence on minimizing ex­ because we are losing are fosing per year ing the country's major industries, there are penditures. Lanu7.a noted that public health Anti-gay Writings Shock 150.000 hectares.[ about 375,000 acres]." She fewer jobs. Children can't go to school be­ care has also been affected. Michigan State continued by stating that some of the mining cause their unemployed parents can't even ''Those big changes ... have negatively af­ companies financed by the World Bank ei­ afford essential school supplies such as note­ fected poor people who used to have access A rock on Michigan State ther pay workers very poor salaries or noth­ books. to education or health care," she said. University's (MSU) campus became ing at all. "In 1988 the Nicaraguan government used canvas for hate-speech directed at stu­ dents. On Wednesday, the Alliance of Les­ bian-Bi-Gay and Transgcndercd Stu­ dents painted the rock in honor of Na­ tional Coming Out Days. They woke In Brief Thursday morning to see the rock had been repainted with anti-gay slurs. The Increase in Freshmen Reflect Baby dergraduates continues to decline. and to heighten awareness of springs' roles front of tbe rock read "no packing Boom Echo According to the USM Chancellor Donald in everyday life. zone." Other slurs on the rock and gar­ At their meeting on October 2, the Uni­ N. Langenberg, "the jump in the number of The Springs Technical Writing Contest is bage can next to it read "I kill fags," versity of Maryland (USM) Board of Re­ new freshmen represents the leading edge one of the many cooperative activites the "Kill flames" and "Fags." The messages gents authorized the issuance and sale of up of the baby boom echo. We have been pre­ SMI conducts on behalf of the spring indus­ stayed on the rock until after noon, to $42 million in auxiUary facility and tu­ dicting and preparing for this increase for try. Other activities include educational pro­ when it was painted over by university ition revenue bonds. several years now, as we watched the bulge grams, regulations compliance assistance workers. The bonds under consideration will help in students move through Maryland's el­ and technical support. "My first concern is the content of to finance seven auxiliary projects at five ementary and secondary schools. We expect The parameters of the 1999 contest are the the message. Advocating violence and USM institutions, including the construction this trend to continue well into the next de­ same as those of the 1998 competition. Post­ murder is a despicable one, no matter of University Commons at UMBC. cade. Insuring access for an increasing num­ secondary school students are invited to sub­ to whom it is directed," said Val Also at their meeting, the regents received ber of college students will require a con­ mit technical papers on spring design, spring Meyers, president of the Gay, Lesbian, a preliminary report on fall 1998 enrollments certed effort on the part of all our institu­ material or springmaking processes. Entries Bisexual and Transgender Faculty and at the University System's II degree-grant­ tions." are due by April 30, 1999. They will be Staff Association. ing institutions. The report includes figures judged based on their accuracy, relevance Meyers said that seeing the message only for students enrolled within Maryland; Technical Writing Contest to the spring industry, originality and orga­ was like "hitting a brick wall." overseas enrollments at University of Mary­ Due to its initial success in 1998, The nization. Cash awards will be given for the "It kind of makes you sick to your land University College will be reported at Spring Manufacturers Institute (SMI) has top three technical papers starting at $2,000 stomach," she said, her voice cracking. a later date. announced that it will hold another techni­ for first place. Each award will be given di­ "You go around all feeling that you are The report included highlights such as a cal writing contest, offering students the rectly to the student plus a matching dona­ respected as a human being. Then I find six percent increase in new freshmen over chance to participate in research and win tion will be made directly to the student's out that people want to kill me, not for last fall, a system-wide headcount of monetary prizes. department of study. anything I have done, but for who I am." 106,774 students - the highest number of The contest's chief goals are to introduce To request contest information, students MSU police Chief Bruce Benson said full-time undergraduates in 20 years. It also springmaking as a career option by inviting and educators can contact Rita Schauer at police still are investigating the matter. stated that the enrollment of part-time un- students to research and write about springs, (630) 495-8588 or at [email protected] THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 13, 1998 PAGE3

PoLICE LoG Safety Tip of the Week: On Foot Telephone Misuse seized. Two residents stated that they - Day And Night: Susquehanna Hall, October 2. 12:03 p.m. were responsible for the use of the mari­ - A student reported that a non-student juana. • Don't flash large amounts of cash or called her on several occasions after being Also seized from the common living other tempting targets like expensive told not to do so. The student was informed area was a registration plate assigned to jewelry or clothing. of the legal process that is designed to ad­ a vehicle operated by a female resident • Carry a purse close to your body. not dress mailers of this kind. The student con­ student. When contacted, the student's Deadly Cause dangling by the straps. Put a wallet in an veyed a desire to prosecute if the non-stu­ mother stated that she knew that her In May. actor and proud philanderer Jose inside coat or front pants pocket, not a dent continues to call. plate was missing, but had not yet re­ Estrada was elected president in one of the back pocket. ported it stolen. Her daughter recovered Philippines's quietest elections ever-only • Try to use automated teller machines Sick Person the registration plate at the UMBC Po­ 45 people were killed in campaign-related in the daytime. Have your card in hand Patapsco Hall. October 2. 12:35 p.m. - lice Department. Charges are pending incidents. Former first lady Imelda Marcos anddon'tapproach the machine if you're Units responded to a victim that had stopped in this case. dropped out of the race in April. but got back in. she said, to prevent the suicides of uneasy about people nearby. breathing. Upon arrival the victim was , several of her supporters. breathing but seemed disoriented. A heavy Theft From Building Among the presidential losers was Mario Injured Person odor of nail polish remover was present in Physics Building Maintenance Tun­ Lagazpi. who stayed in character as God. Soccer Field, September29. 4:55p.m. the room. Medics responded and the victim nel. October 5, 8:15 a.m.- A supervi­ claiming he had taken a leave of absence -A UMBC student attempted to block was transported to St. Agnes Hospital. sor for the William Schlosser Co., re­ from Heaven to help the country. a kick and struck his head on the goaJ. ported that a supply cabinet was forc­ Initially. a request for Medivac transport Theft ibly entered and property valued at You'll Poke Your Eye Out was made by on scene EMS. Medivac Lot one. October 4. 9: 15 p.m. - A St. $1.070 was stolen. The theft occurred ln June. James Conlon, the music direc­ was cancelled and the student was trans­ Mary's College student reported that he during a three-day period. tor of the Paris Opera. accidentally stabbed ported via ambulance to Shock Trauma parked a vehicle in Lot one. Property valued himself in the eye with his baton while he at Baltimore. at $296 was removed from the vehicle. Burglary was in Ohio rehearsing Stravinsky's Physics Building Construction Site, ·'Nightingale" for the Cincinnati May Fes­ Theft From Vehicle Marijuana Possession October 5, II :57 a.m.-A foreman for tival. He returned to work two hours later. Parking Lot number I 0, September 29. Breton. October 4, 9:50 p.m. - Officers the Mahogany Co., reported that astor­ Well, Which Is It? responded to Breton in reference to a com­ age cabinet in the Physics Building Con­ 7:55 p.m. -An employee reported the In March. British Columbia legislator theft of a handicapped parking permit plaint of marijuana use. Officers detected an struction basement was broken into and Paul Reitsma wao; caught lying by a hand­ from the interior of her vehicle. The ve­ odor of marijuana and received permission property valued at $430 was stolen. The writing expert. The graphologist said. con­ hicle was parked and unallended. to investigate further. A water pipe with resi­ crime occurred over a two-day period. trary to Reitsma's denials, that ReiLc;ma was due and a small quantity of marijuana were the author of a letter to the editor of the Parksville Morning Sun praising his own performance. The next day. Reitsma admit­ ted that he wrote it but said that he was writing for someone else. When confronted with charges that he had written nine simi Jar letters. he said, "To the best of my knowledge." he hadn't writ­ ten any others. The next day. he admitted to writing all nine. amidst charges that he had written several dozen more.

Grandma, How Could You? M1chael Anthony Home filed a lawsuit against the City of San Antonio. Tex.. in May for a wrongful arrest last year that cost him the ashes of his grandmother. He had pulled off the road to nap. which looked suspicious to a passing patrolman. The of­ ficer searched Horne's car and found the ashes, which he submitted to a field test that If you haven't taken a good took at turned up positive for methamphetamines. Ford recently, you might not recognize Home wm. in jail for 30 days until he us. You see, we're completely reinventing made batt. and the case has cost him his ourselves as a company. So now, you job. his car. his apartment and his military can directly impact our future. You'll lead reserve status. Two subsequent tests of the our changes. You'll set our direction. And ashes were negative for drugs. but the tests you'll determine how we reach our goal • consumed almost all of the ashes. to be the #1 auto maker in the worlct. We will be interviewing on (;an\pi:l$ Miracle-Grow in November. To begin your careet at In May, the Food and Drug Administra­ Ford, please reserve time for an interview tion voted 5-4 to continue approval of the with University of Maryland, Baltimore human skin replacement patches made by County Career Development and Organogenesis Inc. of Canton. Mass. The Placement. company's technique is to cultivate and har­ vest the faste~t-growing source of raw ma­ terial: circumcision residue. One snipped foreskin can eventually produce 200.000 three-inch disks or fake skin. The Economist magazine called this use of foreskin "the most profitable ... since ~~rY?RmfiLl:l~ David presented Saul with a sackload'' to www.ford.com/careerc:enter gain the throne of bract. By choice, we are an Equal Opportunity Employer committed to a eult~o~rally diverse workforce. The Singles Game In April. Darren Kcnned). 30. pleaded no contest in Den' er to se' er.tl misdemean­ ors for stre

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------October 13, 1998 PAGES OPINION 'T I-I E Letters to the Editor ETRIEVER Editor: As election day approaches. we must look at what is at stake in this year's election, and WEEKLY what it means for college students. Funding for Education is the big thing at stake in this election. If Ellen Saucrbrey wins, state support for education will be sla~hed. Now I know we have aU seen Sauerbrey's ads. Editor-in-Chief Opinion Editor (;eneral ~anager depicting her as a friend of students and education. but her record says otherwise. John Mischke Emily Bernstein Raymond Dubicki Sauerbrey wrote the FY I 993 Republican alternative budget. In this budget she slashed funding for education by $317 million, of\\ hich $33 million was taken away from Com­ munity Colleges. $107 million from Higher Education. and $6.4 million from Private Colleges. She voted against increasing aid to education by $60 million (84HB 669). She voted against increasing awards for the Distinguished Scholar Program (88SB 851 ). Contract Could Help Lead to a Paris Glendening on the other hand, has created a pre-paid tuition program. increased investment in colleges and universities by nearly 30 percent, and increased financial aid Microsoft Monopoly and student scholarships by 51 percent. I know some of you are asking, can't the General Assembly stop her if she is Governor? The Retriever Weekly anxiously awaits the outcome of the proposed Microsoft Well, no they can't. In Maryland, the General Assembly cannot put into the budgeL they deal discussed in this week's article, "USM Considers MS Contract." The hottest, can only take out of it what the Governor proposes. While we fully expect Democrats to most up-to-date versions of essential computer software at a fraction of the price ... retain control of the House of Delegates and State Senate. the real budget power is in the what could be better? Governor's office. But is this really what will happen once the USM signs on to Bill Gates' growing Oh, and by the way. we have a census coming up in 2000, and redistricting in 2001. The monopoly? True, much of the software used on our campus already comes from Governor has incredible say in redistricting. and Sauerbrey will redistrict Maryland in Microsoft. And yes, students who wish to use non-Microsoft applications can con­ such a way as to give Republicans control of not only the General Assembly, but our tinue to do so. But we wonder how long that freedom will continue. Congressional delegation as well. for at least the next I 0 years. And it is Congress that How many Microsoft contracts and deals will it take before the competitors are controls funding for Pell Grants, Stafford Loans and Perkins Loans. driven out of business. leaving no options left? While the sparse amount of com­ What can the students of UMBC do to prevent this nightmare? A lot. You can start by petitors may offer their computer products at a higher price, it seems to us that very voting on November 3, either in person or by absentee. Applications for absentee ballots often they also offer a higher quality product. are due by October 27 to local Supervisors of Elect ions. To request an application, call the When have we not heard that some brand-new. state-of-the-art Microsoft product office for your county: has some glitches, or viruses or other imperfections? Crucial defects seem to exist in every new version of Windows that comes out. It seems each time we purchase Baltimore (410) 887-5700 Calvert (410) 535-2214 new Microsoft software, we must also purchase new computer parts and/or a com­ Caroline (410) 479-5735 Carroll (41 0) 386-2080 puter consultant in order for the software to be compatible with our system. Cecil (410) 996-5310 Charles (410) 934-8972 By agreeing to pay a higher price for quality, we assure the continuation of com­ Dorchester (410) 228-2560 Frederick (301) 694-1005 petition in the market and protect the average consumer from unreliable merchan­ Garren (301) 334-1962 Harford (410) 638-3565 dise. We cannot allow ourselves to settle for imperfection simply because we want Howard (410) 313-2727 Kent (410) 778-0038 to cut some pennies out of our budget. We must and will demand more for our Montgomery (301) 217-6450 Prince George's (301) 952-3270 money. Somerset (410) 651-0767 Queen Anne':. (410) 758-0832 St. Mary's (301) 475-5621 Talbot (410) 770-8099 Washington (301) 791-3030 Wicomico (41 0) 548-4830 Baltimore City (410) 3%-5550 Anne Arundel (410) 222-6600 Allegany (301) 777-5931 Worcester (410) 632-1320

I-looray for Hispanic Heritage The second thing the studentl> of UMBC can do to help is to volunteer on a campaign. With your help, we can, and will re-elect Paris Glendening. We will re-elect Barbara The week of October 15 marks the last week of UMBC's first ever celebration of Mikulski. We will re-elect Ben Cardin. We will re-elect Steny Hoyer. We will re-elect AI Hispanic Heritage Month. This time was originally set aside to honor those Span­ Wynn. We will re-elect Elijah Cummings. And we \'>ill elect Ralph Neas to Maryland's 8'h ish-speaking Americans who have made an impact in the United States. We here at Congressional District, and send Newt Gingrivh and his band of thugs packing! the Retriever Weekly believe that this is a perfect opportunity for both students and To get involved. come to the College Dl!mocrats meetings on Mondays at I :00 p.m. in faculty as a whole to learn about another culture. see LETTERS. page 7 The campus had planned several events to promote the celebration, including a Noche Latina - Latin Night- where anyone can come to Jearn such Latin dances as the Merengue and the Salsa. In addition to this there are multiple other events Jennifer Siciliano ...... Managing Editor Retriever Weekly staff editorials reflect the that were set up throughout the month to give people a glimpse into the heritage of Tracy Soltesz ...... News Editor views of the editorial board; signed columns the Hispanic community. Brad Bennett ...... Asst. News Editor represent the opinions of the individual writ­ If you missed your chance to catch at least one event last month then shame on Jessica Rothfus ...... Asst. Opinion Editor ers and do not necessarily reflect those of The you. It is important for all of us to open our minds to something that we have never Christina Sabato ...... Features Editor Retriever Weekly or the University of Mary­ been exposed to fully. Hispanic heritage is something that has helped shape the Chris Taylor ...... Asst. Features Editor land Baltimore County. world we live in today, and it should be celebrated just as much as each of the other Elaine Elgami1 ...... Focus Editor Letters to the editors are printed verbatim, various cultures that have made America what it is. Vergil Bushnell ...... Asst. Focus Editor although the editors reserve the right to edit This is the first year it was officially celebrated on this campus, but rest assured Chris Kerner ...... Sports Editor any letter deemed lengthy, repetitive, libel­ it will return next year. Tf you missed out on all of the events then it is imperative Andrew Smullian ...... Asst. Sports Editor ous or otherwise in need of revision. The that you take some time out and learn about the culture on your own. Jason Putsche ...... Photography Editor editors further reserve the right not to print It is clearly very important to observe not only Hispanic Heritage Month, but Amy Banowetz .... Asst. Photography Editor any letter for any reason. Letters to the Edi­ Black History Month and Women's History Month as well. These moths were not Deb VanDereedt ...... Business Manager tor must be typed or written legibly and in­ designated just for celebration, but rather because these groups' histories have been Kimberly Brossard ...... Production Manager clude the author's name and telephone num­ so largely ignored in classrooms across the nation, and our recognition of their Jamie Peck ...... Production Assistant ber. The author's name may be withheld upon contributions is well past due. Carl Gehrman ...... Production Assistant request. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. Let's not forget, however, that learning about these groups' histories and cultures Autumn Patterson ...... Production Assistant on Thursday and may not exceed 400 words. should continue throughout the year rather than just during their designated months. Rabiah Mayas ...... Production Assistant The Retriever Weekly subscribes to the Col­ It improves the world and community in which we live, and in the long run it will Amber Aurich ...... Production Assistant lege Press Service and publishes weekly on make you a better person. Matt Stevenson ...... Production Assistant Tuesdays during the regular school year. Edi­ John Smith ...... Circulation Manager tors can be reached at 455-1260 during nor­ Karan Lee ...... Copy Editor mal business hours or at University Center Rose Ttpitino ...... Advertising Manager 214, I 000 Hi II top Circle, UMBC. Baltimore. Tony Fitzwater ...... Operations Manager MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly is an equal Christopher Corbett ...... Faculty Adviser opportunity employer. PAGE6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 13, 1998 HIV and Women in Pornography: Victiins and Perpetrators

On this same shot, a radical, attention-seek­ degrading to women. I would ar­ Jessica Rothfus ing porn producer commented on this fact. gue that though much of it is sick Though many porn producers are now mak­ and degrading, some pornography Though the new television season has just ing their actors wear condoms, many refuse. is fairly well-done, creative and begun. the same old sitcoms seem stale, and One producer interviewed stated that porn is helpful to couples. Some produc­ I find myselflooking for other fonns of more a fantasy. and that men do not want to see ers in the porn industry are capable interesting entertainment. As usual, it's MTV protected sex in a fantasy-they want to see of making porn that doesn't to the rescue. This week, they broadcast a what they don't get in reality. This is the same present women as mere holes, or show about life in the porn industry - fo­ man whose video shows a woman in a wheel­ dolls with breasts bigger than their cusing particularly on adult films. Tabitha chair being raped in an alley by four to five brains. Yes, this type of pornogra­ Soren produced the show, and talked to vari­ men who spit on her and call her a whore. So phy is limited, but it docs exist. ous actors and producers in the industry. The obviously, this guy really knows what he's The MTV show focused on this show was informative, intriguing and also a talking about. Certainly, this part of the porn sort of dichotomy, specifically little disconcerting. industry seems completely unconcerned with how pornography affects women. I "'as intrigued by one specific woman. the health of its perfonners. or the social mes­ Many of the women were young. Her hair was in curlers and her Tupperware sages it sends. and some were starring in porno­ tits seemed ready to burst. She talked ear­ I certainly can't blame mv on porno­ graphic ftlms as a means of mak­ nestly to Tabitha Soren about her "anal ad­ graphic films. but it seems that the porn in­ ing money for college. Many ventures." She starred in a film in which she dustry can't do anything right. Granted, it's seemed fine with the way they engaged in anal sex with 50 men. She was just masturbatory material, not art- but as were portrayed in these films (even told that about half the men would not be a human being, I still have expectations of the one who played a handicapped using condoms. So, she cried on MTV for this industry. First of all, as much as some individual who was raped and de- about 10 minutes. lamenting the fact that she women might like to deny it, a portion of them meaned). In fact, this woman won several that after watching these types of films, men tested HIV positive. She could not understand do consume pornography. Yes, men make up awards for her perfonnance, and asserted that treat women in a more aggressive manner. why this happened because she knew some the majority of porn buyers, but women still the part helped her career immensely. Add to that hardcore porn mags like Hustler, of the men and she thought that everyone had watch. Why is pornography catered to men? I understand that America is about freedom and it becomes clear that as a society we are been tested. From an economic standpoint alone, the pro­ in lots of ways, including speech and expres­ creating men who grow to have less respect Where's the surprise? You can get HIV ducers of pornography alienate potential con- sion. What I don't understand is the ways in for women, and thus begin to view them as from one person, whether that person is a mere objects to fulfill a man's desires. porn star, a millionaire, a doctor or anything Even worse than the government and the else. What I don't understand is how this "One producer interviewed stated thatporn is a fantasy, and that producers are the women who let themselves woman could have anal sex (which is cer­ be treated this way, the ones who willingly tainly more dangerous as far as spreading men do not want to see protected sex in a fantasy- they want to enter the industry and then cry about the out­ HIV) with 25 uncondomed men and expect see what they don't get in reality. This is the same man whose come. The ridiculous, immature, sex-ob­ anything other than an HIV positive status. sessed, penis-fixated men certainly aren't re­ I'm not closed-minded. I don't have prob­ video shows a woman in a wheelchair being raped in an alley by sponsible. Women are typically viewed as lems with any particular kind of sex. As long four to five men who spit on her and caU her a whore." sexual creatures. So, if you have the sexual as it happens between consenting adults, it's power. flaunt it. if that's what you want to none of my damn business. But, having un­ do. But by all means, take responsibility for protected sex is just stupid. And there's no sumers (females, and men with a brain which porn producers are allowed to abuse your actions. Irresponsibility is more than stu­ excuse for this type of stupidity. Not only spreading beyond their penis) when they women. Some women are fine with being pid - it's deadly. does it spread disease, but unprotected sex show degrading scenes in which women are treated that way on film as a "character." So on film often makes viewers want what they abused both physically ang emotionally. be it. But there's no telling how these ftlms Jessica Rothfus is the assistant opinion edi­ shouldn't have. Some might argue that all pornography is affect the behavior of men. It has been proven tor ofThe Retriever Weekly. Saving the World: A Stateinent of Arrogance or Hope?

EmilyHeun that Gaard docs either. However, Gaard docs I question is her motivation. Condemning will we truly allow nature to take its course, seem to think that those who promote these those who are in support of identical causes dropping our dreams of improvemen.ts and planet-saving slogans are not realizing the docsn 't seem to be a very efficient way to expansion? We must realize that all of life is ln a recent class discussion, the ideas of awesome power the earth has over us all. change current environmental problems. In­ a circle, and that even seemingly simple ac­ saving the earth and its correlation with I have to disagree. Most of us who stand stead, I feel that it will be through education tions affect the entire world. ecofeminism were introduced. Now that I am by the environmental movement understand - not ridicule - that people more familiar with the ecofeminist move­ that we cannot literally save the world. In­ will begin to come to tenns with ment, I question some of the ideas presented. deed, we can only make a conscious effort to the true state of our planet. Pointed out to us were the writings of lessen the strife we inflict. Further attempts One of Gaard's key points "We, as humans, are in a constant ecofeminist Greta Gaard, who believes, as must be made to stop the continuing destruc­ that I do agree with is that we struggle with nature and we are not do many other ecofeminists, that the libera­ tion, polluting and the general mistreatment are at the mercy of nature. How­ letting it win. Nature, no doubt, wiU have tion of women or any other persecuted group of our home. Again, J believe Greta would ever, as much as I hate to ad­ will not occur without the equal liberation of be a fierce ad vocate for these causes - what mit, the earth is to some degree the last laugh, but to what extent are we nature. Although I tend to agree with this par­ depending on us as well; we willing to push the earth?" ticular statement, many of Gaard 's views un­ have put it in that position. We settled me, and clouQed my perception of the have exerted so much power roles feminists have in the realm of the envi­ and technoiogical influence onto the earth I don't believe that the slogan "saving the ronmental movement. that it is approaching the point of no re­ earth" has a negative connotation. Why Greta Gaard questions that if humans turn; it is almost too late to tum back. should it? We are in a period in which envi­ truly have the power to "save the We. as huma ns, are in a constant ronmental change is both necessary and in­ Earth," does that therefore infer that struggle with nature and we are not evitable, especially if we wish life as we know we are supreme to nature? Contrary letting it win. Nature, no doubt, will it to continue on this planet. Our past actions to this question, Ms. Gaard believes have the last laugh, but to what ex­ have forced immense burdens onto the earth; that humans are not the saviors, but tent are we willing to push the earth? neglect and ignorance have led this country rather "the entity needing heroic ef­ Ttme and time again we are faced astray. Conceming ourselves with the tech­ fons." with natural "disasters" that are try­ nicalities of such a simple slogan of the en­ Gaard states that the earth will be ing to teach us a lesson. vironmental movement allows us to avoid the here, for eons to come. no matter how Do you ever wonder what the beach true problem. Let us concentrate on the task much our actions seem to obliterate it. at Ocean City is going to look like the at hand, righting our past wrongs and in tum Nature is the supreme being: ultimately next summer you go there? Do you making the world we live in more hospitable we have little or no power over it. Docs wonder if there will be any beach left? for ourselves and for our children. the fact that Earth will stick around, surviv­ We constantly attempt to hold the ocean ing long after humans die out, make it all right back, and in tum sacrifice its beach. Take a Emily Heun is a ?? majoring in ??. to trash the land, poison the water and darken look at the fires engulfing Aorida and parts the sky? I don't think so, and I don' t believe or the west, the floods of the south - when THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 13, 1998 PAGE7 Sn1okers: Are They Dun1b Bastards or Helpless Lan1bs?

GabeMarcus mouth acquires a characteristic bad odor. these students are not familiar with the widely The smoke travels down the throat into known fact that smoking decreases aerobic the trachea. The cilia in the tracheal lin­ performance. I must assume they are aware Smokers can be seen everywhere-walk­ ing are paralyzed for up to 24 hours. of it, since the harmful effects of smoking ing down the sidewalk. lurking outside build­ These cilia, which are normally con­ have been widely covered in the news. I ings. or""'outside the residence apartments or stantly moving, help to fllter out the must therefore conclude t,hese students balls. The evidence of smokers is also omni­ harmful particles that aren't elimi­ wish to lose at their chosen sport. Let­ present, like the droppings of some strange nated in the sticky mucosal lin­ ting schools such as Towson or Col- primitive creature. Smoking is a very visible ings of the nose. These tiny par­ lege Park beat us is obviously pre­ and smelly part of college culture. Many non­ ticles and bacteria lodge instead ferred to giving up a bodily pleasure. smokers view this disgusting addiction much in the lungs, making smokers Next time you lose, ask your team­ like uncontrolled body odor. Many non­ more prone to infections. mate that is lighting up: "Why bother smokers cannot understand why one would Warnings on the dangers of practicing at all? You are defeating choose to start such a filthy, expensive and smoking have been printed on your team before you even take the unhealthy habit. cigarette packs for numbers of field." I asked some smokers why they started years. Some companies print University officials are considering smoking. One said because everyone else was warnings that the product contains a ban on smoking within 30 feet of a doing it. He said he liked the taste and after a carbon monoxide, or CO, which building's entrance. This rule would allow while, he was hooked. He went on to say be causes flu-like symptoms and in high a smoke free zone for those of us who wish smokes when he's upset, when he's happy, concentrations, death. Other packages to pass through doorways without entering when he's tired and when he wants to relax. warn smoking causes cancer, bronchitis into a hazardous atmosphere, or being sub­ For the average college student, especially and emphysema. Each of these conditions ject to second-hand smoke which can be on exam days, these emotions come and go is chronic and takes years off a person's life. Smokers do not think of this when in col­ worse than smoking a cigarette first hand, be­ many times each day. I've seen people smoke When coping with these chronic conditions, lege, but only after they have been smoking cause the smoke is not filtered. I predict before eating, during eating and after eating. death becomes not simply an inevitable end, for about 20 pack-years, a technical term one smoking eventually will be confined to a large At $2.50 a pack, smoking incurs a heavy but an anticipated termination of a painful derives by multiplying number of packs per open field where, in the midst of a large monetary price, in addition to its detrimental existence. Those suffering through these dis­ day by years of smoking. At this point, phy­ downpour, isolated smokers will huddle un­ health effects. eases are short of breath frequently, even sicians note the beginnings of chronic symp­ der umbrellas, lighting damp, limp cigarettes The effects of smoking begin when one when doing a simple task such as walking toms, such as high blood pressure, which as in a desperate hope to satisfy their ravenous first inhales any type of smoke. After pass­ across the room, or down the ball. They can­ been linked to higher probabilities of stroke craving. ing through the filter, the smoke deposits not live without an inhaler or supplemental and heart attack. yellowish tars on the teeth and also the fin­ oxygen that they must lug around wherever I have seen many UMBC students who are Gabe Marcus is a junior majoring in emer­ gers. The taste buds begin to die and the they go. varsity athletes smoking. I have to wonder if gency health services.

~ ... ~ ft~U..,,,,.~ -'1 ~ from LETIERS. page 5 and staying protected while having sex after To be quite honest with you and myself, eating pizza with the police in their respec­ I have not raised any legitimate concerns Thanks to you, all sorts of everyday SS I09. or stop by our office AD 617 dur­ tive dorms. I can walk to class from Westhi 11, about any of the above issues because I ing free hour on Wednesdays and Fridays, have people stare me in my eye. and either products are being made from the thought it was pointless. However. there is 1 or drop me an e-mail at wait for me to speak. or keep walking. The an issue that ( whispered about my fourth paper. plastic. metal and glass that [email protected]. truth of the matter is. it doesn't matter semester here. and started screaming about I \vhether the indh idual is black. white. Asian. last semester. That issue is my concern ~ you've been recycling. Nicholas Bouquet Latino. African. Indian. Native Ameri~an. ahoutthc majority of the people at this uni­ ~ President, U.W.BC College Democrats male or femak, they equally walk by you as ' ersity. I have re(.·eived life, for God ha-> But to keep recychng working to if you don't exist. opened my eyes and drawn ·me clol>er to help protect the environment. you UMBC is growing. and I have to admit that Him. Life brought liberty. for I know that I Editor: it will have a great appearance. though maybe can exprc.!ss myself and do whatever I want need to buy those products dccch ing, to incoming students, and students to do, God willing Presently, I am in a pur­ ( ram writing to ex pres~ my concerns for that are still around when the work is done. suit for happiness. this university. and people in generaL This ln the meantime, we have to be inconve­ Nothing would make me happier than to s BUY RECYCLED, is my fourth year at UMBC and I have nienced to get to classes from our halls, apart­ see the black organi£ations on campus slowly watched this campw; convert from ments, or cars. I feel sorry for those students working together to achieve common goals, a small, honorable institution into a living living in Patapsco. They might as well walk whatever they may be. Nothing would I - hell that we call an "honors university." around the loop a quatter mile to get to the make my eyes cry for joy than to see the By a living hell, I mean th

OU OTES fi-o/0 /£e QUAD What are your limits? photos by Dave Chen

Johnny Jerksalot. Third year Sociology 'What are my limrts to sex? Eight times in one day."

Stephanie Schafer, Senior Art "Burdensome blockades that clog my mind." r.-...... ,~·:.:.

Rene lsuk. Senior Economrcs I Psychology "For a cheesesteak. I would run across the harbor handcuffed wrth some leopard skin bikini undies on."

Kaput 11 Retired UMy owner didn't take care of me. so I dumped his ass on the side of 1-95." M•

Book prices range from $.25 to $2. Oct. 13, 1998 PAGE9 FEATURES [insert .name here]

nee again, it was a fruitful week. Last week. I copped out. asking you to essentially write my column for me. and by golly, you did. "Woohoo.'· 1 say. I ru.ked for contest ideas and random entries, and received one comest and several random entries. Thanks to all who entered. "Open up and say "aah. ·•

The Random Entries: 0 If a tree falls in the woods and there's no one there to hear i4 is there a worse possible first name than Dweezil? 0 An electric wok, definitely. It's a nice red color, it fits easily under the bed, and if it rains it serves nicely as a waterproof hat. U If you put a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters for all eter- nity, wouldn ·tthey all eventually just start picking at each other's lice? 0 Tt's actually three degrees. I counted again. I guess you win. David Sial< I Retriever Weekly Starr 0 Breast implant Barbie. She's back and she's bigger than ever. News Radio: WMBC personality Brook Posner-Smith takes the airwaves by storm. 0 (!)That amazing "animation." (2) Because lbeguy is just that ... urn, hot. Yes. Hot. (3) The brilliant satirical elements inherent in the plot line. (4) You can't go wrong with Norwegians. (5) The symbolism of the trash can at the end. ~ampus Radio Station Upgrades 0 But a kazoo would be so much easier to carry in a marching band. 0 Woody Harrelson 0 Because it would hurt a lot, Warren. Bring New Name and Antenna 0 I don't feel I need to explain my art to you. 0 It seems that some apes are more equal than others. TOKUNBO SAVAGE new name and new faces, or in this Engineer Rob Carlson. they were 0 No more. because movie quotes are an easy out. And besides that. Retriew!r Weekly Suifl\Vriter case. voices. able to construcL raise and adjust they're pretty dumb. Even compared to the rest of our entry. What prompted a new name for the tower for better reception of the 0 The fact of the mauer is. I've never even been to New Orleans. and Recent improvements at WMBC. the station? Well, for one, there was station. The tower stands atop the I don't even know if they have an applesauce factory. the renamed radio station on cam­ a college radio station with the Biological Sciences Building, and 0 ''The Peanut Butter Solution" or maybe, just maybe, "Psychos In pus, have made listening to the wide name already (WUMD) in Univer­ gives students within a 50-foot ra­ Love." (Fourteen Random Entries submilled by Rohini Thomas, Joanna variety of new talent on the air more sity of Michigan Dearborn, which dius the opportunity to listen to all Smith and Sarah) accessible for the UMBC commu­ caused a great deal of confusion. assortments of music, including nity. Among the additions is a new With the new changes and additions jazz, world music, new age. hip­ And the winner ofthe first set of salJ-and-pepper shakers: antenna with a wider ra nge. but to the station. the name better rep­ hop, alternative rock. classic rock 0 peach buffalo, in squirming tub, visiting hallow beverage. trombone that's not the only way to receive resents UMBC. and also ·'rolls off and talk radio. pleasantry, noodle lengthening putty service of rewinding magnitude. the signal. the tongue," says Thiemann. Along with these new additions tomahawk. tomahawk. aluminum monkies festering. (Random Entry sub­ "We would hope that people WMBC's own 22-foot AM comes new broadcasting and studio milled by Paul Parsoneault) would actually take the time out to broadcast tower, a new highlight to equipment and an entirely reno­ Alright then, Paul. that's creepy. Yes, well, you may claim your shak­ listen, and respect our programming the station, is one of these new vated DJ booth, which has a new ers in UC 214. (Aluminum monkies? Hmm.) as unique for this area, as far as changes. The organization was able fader, mixer board, new record something Lhat can be heard for to acquire this new addition by a player, II 0-CD player and comput­ And the winner of the second set ofsalJ-and-pepper shakers, for sub­ commercial station in Baltimore special fund available only to me­ ers. Towards the back of the build­ mitting the only wntest idea: and D.C.," said Drew Thiemann. dia organizations on college cam­ ing. there is a new recording studio 0 Give five reasons that A-Ha's "Take On Me" video is the best video of head music director and label liai­ puses. The station is fu ll of people complete with a 24-track player and all time- or the "80s. Agree or disagree. (Comesr idea submitted by who not only have broad musical Rohini Tlwmas.) son for WM BC. two ADATs, which are digital re­ Rohini, you may also claim your set of shakers in UC 214. WMBC. the station formerly tastes but also a broad and skilled cording media systems. known as WUMD, continues to engineering background. Now. I'm going to modify the cootesta bi4 as rm sure not everyone in evolve through new equipment, a Led by Gabe Marcus and Chief see RADIO STATION, page 20 the campus community has heard the song, let alone seen the video. Per­ sonally, I disagree. on the grounds that Level 42's "Something About You'' was the best video of the '80s and I have since ceased to watch MTV, as they never play videos anymore and are inconsistent in their scheduling of Daria. So. to modify. come up with a Top Five list. Considerably shorter than a Top I 0 list, come up with five reasons you like or dislike something. or five. uh.l dunno. things: it's a list. If you like. you may agree or disagree with Rohini"s assertion (hell, if anybody but me remembers the scary clown from "Something About You:· I'll be very impressed). Further­ more. continue to send in your contest ideas. Any ones I usc. you get free stuff. The winner of this week's contest will receive something seasonal from the Dollar Store ncar my house. (Unofficial motto: "Hardly anything is a dollar: that"s justa lure to get you in here.") Now, when I say "seasonal." I could be speaking of any season that still exists in Dollar Store Land. They may still have Easter stuff; they may already have Chanukah stuff. Luck o · the draw. my friends.

As usual. runners-up arc meant to receive stuIT we have lying ·round the office. or stuff I have living in my trunk. Entries must be in by Thursday. sent to UC214 or e-mailed [email protected]. I still don·t have a Halloween costume. and I'm still taking suggestions. Congratulations to one of my best friends on the planet. Jenn. for gcuing married (even though she just now told us) to Jan, urn, what's his last name. anyway? May you have all the happiness that you don't have already. ~~~U.~J~as~·o1n~~b~~c~he/!!!!~~~~~ ·'It's really good to see you running out and having run, living like you've just Rock Around The Clock: By rocking in rocking chairs for 24 hours,Phi Sigma Sigma begun, accept your life and what it brings, I hope tomorrow you find beuer things:· -Dar Williams "sisters" Kim Pruime, Ann Dietrich and Jen Roos helped to raise money for the National Kidney Foundation. PAGElO THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 13, 1998

Travels With Anna Wrap Your Life In Canvas: The Backpack

ANNA KAPLAN for too long will do. Basic black or dark green discard a third of more of the contents, walk uitous laudromats. The amount of warm Retriever Weekly Staff Writer are great because they also hide dirt, which around, discard some more, repeat until the clothing depends on the season, but a sweater has a tendency to accumulate on anything weight is tolerable. Tolerable means you must is recommended even during summer. as well Last week's issue of the travel guide has after a few weeks of being sat on, slept on be able to swing the bag onto a luggage rack as a rain jacket. If you are planning on going everyone preparing to go and explore Lhe and thrown into dusty storage lockers. by yourself. Here is a list of essential con­ mountain climbing or skiing, pack accord­ world, so now we will discuss the basic props Aside from the aforementioned use as a tents. ingly. of a budget traveler. Everything taken must, pillow, Lhe backpack can double for pretty Clothing: It's very easy to go overboard Shoes: A pair of good. reliable walking of course, fit into a backpack: Taking more much any piece of furniture. Here are some with this one, so be selective. A month-long shoes is a must. Aside from that, rubber flip­ than one piece of luggage is out of the ques­ ideas: a table, a chair or a partition to hide trip really does not require more than two or flops or beach sandals are necessary for tion. This point will be understood better behind. Be creative and make use of all avail­ three pairs of pants, five to six shirts, and when we discuss the less obvious uses of a able resources. In extreme situations, it can some socks and underwear. Make usc of ubiq- see TRAVEL. page 17 backpack. also serve as a weapon: Swinging anything Here are some very general notes on ap­ large and heavy in a crowd of people will pearance: A backpack is just a huge sack with quickly clear a place to walk or sit (note: this many superfluous straps. buckles and zippers. is not recommended. and you must bear in If you are willing to splurge. and this is one mind Lhe consequences of belligerence). of those few instances when you should. get Basically. do not take with you anything one with lots of padding- it is really worth it fragile. or items that are not absolutely nec­ onc.;e you realize this can serve as a pillow. essary. The procedure of packing goes some­ No bags with external metal frames, wheels. thing like this: Collect everything you think or annoying shiny colors. This must be some­ you may need. fill up the bag, discard what­ thing you can live with. sleep on. etc.; noth­ ever does not fit, walk around your house ing that causes a headache after staring at it with the bag on, realize it's entirely too heavy, Gun Show at the Timonium Fair Grounds

VERGlL BUSHNELL unable to connect the result with its origin. Retriever Editorial Staff Underneath the sniper diorama was a glass showcase housing several knives. These Yang Ku I Rcuicver Wcdy S1aff '"This is it." declared my friend as he blades were a dull black. "Non-Magnetic Latino Power: Lectures, lessons, films and dances mark UMBC's recognition wedged his Beetle in between two gargan­ Mission Knives, Counter-Terrorism,.. stated and celebration of Latin cultures. tuan four-wheel-drives. The disproportionate a placard. Evidently. they were constructed amount of trucks in the parking lot was con­ from a polymer; advantageous when a mis­ firmation enough that this event was a true, sion required the Counter-terrorist to glide UMBC Recognizes National red-blooded gun show. On a whim, I had de­ unnoticed through a metal detector. The cided to tag along with the one-time St. John's placard's bizarre syntax made me remember student. letting him guide me through the a kid from high school that 1 hadn't seen in Hispanic Heritage Month armed convocation. years. He traced pictures from comic books from TRAVEL, page 13 We got our hands stamped, my friend re­ (claiming the heavy-handed heroes as origi­ Action Commiuee co-sponsored a visit by linquished his camera at the door and we nal art). hid knives under his mattress and Magda Lanuza who spoke about hunger tramped in. I drifted towards the literature pondered the intricacies of video games. In country learn about how great an influ- in Nicaragua. Later that evening. Lhere table first. Represented were '"Gunsmith his mind this was time well-spent training for ence Latinos have had on American soci- were also salsa and merengue dance les­ Kinks II," ·'The Accurate Varmint Rifle;· the inevitable day a non-Nintendo Mission ety," said Linda Guzman, founder of the sons offered to the UMBC community. On "How to find missing persons," and Lhc in­ would drop in his lap. activist group Latino Power. Thursday night the Student Events Board dispensable "Improvised Rifle Grenades." We wormed our way to the next table, Organizations like Latino Power hold and the HLSU held a dance in the UC Wares were grouped by vendor and laid where an Asian man was rapidly reciting his events nationwide during the month, such Ballroom. and on Friday. a Latino OJ and out on wide tables, often draped with anti­ wares. "Exploding rounds, incendiary as Latin music concerts. art exhibits. busi- tables representing various Central and theft netting. This small measure insured Lhe rounds," he yammered. holding up an ex­ ness conventions. cultural and religious South American countries were out in show's tranquility. My friend directed me to ample of each shell, '"tracer rounds, indoor retreats and various educational programs. front of the UC. one particular table· that featured a crouch­ rounds. armor-p1erdng rounds." A younger. There are also numerous websitcs. main- This is the first year that National His­ ing mannequin aU gussied up in full sniper pudgier indindual, rifle slung over his shoul­ tained during Lhe holida) as well a-; year- panic Heritage \lonth has been celebrated regalia. complete with rille. Colored •maths der. nodded his head reverently. round. dedicated to the recognition of in- b) the HLSC The organization has been of burlap were draped over the ligure. effec­ The armor-piercing ammunition had fluential Central American. South Ameri- active for onl) '" o years. but'' orked hard tively breaking up the profile. The protrud­ pointed. black tip~. My friend explained that can. and Hispanic and Launo ligures. to pull their member" and resources to- ing barrel was similarly disguised. From a the nose of these bullets was hardened steel Many people onl) see Hispanics and gether to plan last week's events. all of distance, the entire mockup appeared to be to maximize penetration. The explosive Latinos as housekeepers or restaurant which were well-attended. especially the burly specimen of shrubbery with a single, rounds would obviously blow up on impact, workers, but there is a distinct Spanish dancing lessons and the Thursday night unusually long branch. and the incendiary rounds would ignite little essence woven into every level of Ameri- dance. They also sponsor dances, speak­ ''This is about as militia as you're going to fLres. Ammunition lingo wasn't that difficult can society. says Guzman. Celebrants of ers and otheracti\ ities throughout the year get,"' ad\ ised my friend. He fingered the to pick up. I fancied buying a Parachute Star Hispanic Heritage Month are determined to promote campus understanding of His­ ragged green and brown camouflage fondly. Flare. one of the heavier rounds this dealer to erase the negative stereotypes by edu- panic and Latino culture and discuss is­ and admitted that a similar suit was under carried. Unfortunately. a grenade launcher eating olhers about the realities of Latino sues related to the Latino community. construction in his basement. He sighed wilh was required to loft the Flare to its proper history and the importance of Latinos in These activities are open to the public and wistful envy. "Might have to start all over." altitude, and no such apparatus was in sight. the United States and throughout the all are encouraged to anend. As for Na­ A five-volume series on Marine Snipers I reluctantly tucked the little canister back in world. tiona! Hispanic Heritage Month, HLSU's featured illustrations of similarly attired its ammo crate and trudged on. At UMBC, the celebration of National co-sponsor Jessica Contreras says. "The marksmen in various states of visibility. It A grizzled vendor informed us of the ad­ Hispanic Heritage Month took place last HLSU is planning to extend the Heritage was titled "Death from Afar.'" vantages "Hot & Nasty Pepper Spray" had week, with activities sponsored by the Month activities forthecntire month next Clearly, the prudent gunman was con­ over a firearm. Hispanic Latino Student Union (HLSU), year." cerned with observing his surroundings while "Had to usc it on a bear once," he confided, formerl y the Latino Student Union. So anyone who missed last week's fcs- remaining indistinguishable from them. The gripping a can of the trusty solution. "It On Monday, a movie was shown in con- tivities will definitely have the opportu­ abundance of woodland-colored Battle Dress wasn't attacking or anything, just moseying junction with the Modern Languages and nity to do so next fall. With increased Uniforms, masks and smoke bombs con­ about the campsite. A bear is as tough as Linguistics Department, and on Tuesday. awareness of the holiday and its purpose, firmed this. The gun show also had several you're going to get. With a gun. by the time Angelo Solera from the Baltimore City next year's National Hispanic Heritage exotic flash suppressors and silencers so. in you can draw a bead. you can get, what Health Department was on campus speak- Month will hopefully bring a month of the event a shot was fired. persons disturbed ing about Hispanics and Latinos in Balti- campus-wide celebration in honor of this J by the c.;onsequence of the bullet would be more. On Wednesday. the Progrcssi ve often-forgotten facet of American culture. see GUN SHOW. page 12 l ------THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 13, 1998 - PAGE 11 Wefc to tfie !Features Section! You read it every week. You {read between· enter the [insert name here] the lines} contest and you read thefine print. Youfind out what Jamie yeck thinks cJ aji~m bifore you spend $7.00 to see it. Your Use your AT&T Student Advantage Card so you won't get blindstded with hidden service charges­ dinners are s·trict~y ~~surviva~ on every calling card call- before you've even said hello. ski~~et~~jare. You re~y on your week~y ~~sweat and Burn// workout with ~artin Shuster to burn off the usurviva~ ski~~et~~jare. Youjo~~ow Jason 20¢ a minute. 24 hours a day. And no per call service charge. Why would you use anythtng efse? Eaton's ~ife in uHote~ ~e" and. you votedjor yourfavorites in Smart move. Yo u got the new AT&T the 11Batt~e cJ the comics." Student Advantage Card But why aren't you usmg tt as your calhng card? It's JUSt

20~ a mtnute whenever, wherever you call You'd ~ike to ·trave~ with Anna tn the U.S. With no per call servtce charge: No monthly fee . And no g1mmtcks. Don't . ~ap~tin. You p~anyour. ­ have one yet? Call l 800 654-0471 or vistt www.att.com/collegefnp.html scheduJe us£n3 uAround T0wnu

Use your and ~~rncidenta~~Y .... H You AT&T Student Advantage- Card as your AT&T Calling Card. on~y ~isten to uwhat They Want You to Hear.u The Features Section a~ready shapes your . ~ife. why notjotn the AT&T It's all within you r reach.* Features Teamcjcrack

'Refers to the AT.~ T One- Rata' College Plan 1'11n tes do r,o• 4PP1Y to stat•' Cfl1s 11 A..,... ..w: r;tters? caU Eeq,.t"!'res Edtto.r ;~ ~ tate ...,ng Cil'·t - -~!-~ -"~·.- ~:sta;, ,,._ e. ~ . , • . ~~~...,....-.o- ... -~-- ..""·"'0--.7 -·- . .>c. ~"- ~":!~~,/:~::·?:~~~-.- .. · '· :-.... •::. :. -/ ~.· ;~ ;~~ PAGE12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 13, 1998

Sweat and Burn WITH MARTIN SHUSTER

rectings! I hope everyone my circuit training routine. you arc probably change it! ing on your body. is nice and sore from training three days a week: Monday, Wednes­ The split. Basically you and adequate rest working out! Last week, day. and Friday. If you feel that you have have two types of muscles - time is very impor­ we discussed training and made sufficient progress and arc no longer -the "push" muscles: chest. tant. Normally, the immune system; this progressing. then read on. Just one quick note shoulders, triceps; and the you'd wanr lo go week.G we will discuss the training split - if you are still making progress with your pull muscles: back and bi­ two on, one off and and progressive overload. Now l suppose current routine. then stick with it. If something ceps. Add to that legs and so forlh. You can you're wondering. "What the hell is a is not broken, then do not attempt to tix it! calves, which fall in neither vary the sets and training split?" Before I elaborate on the split. let me elabo­ category. The split basically reps to your liking; Well. don't worry; it's not some weird rate again as to why you necc.J il. Basically. it has you working fotLr times just remember some exercise. Basically. is like this: Weight train­ a week instead oflhree. with basic rules: after a given amount ing is a simple stimulus to your workouts split into two :l As sets in­ of time (about three the body. The body adapts types: the push muscles and crease. so must re­ months in beginncn. by impro\ ing; it adapt-; to the pull muscles. covery time. and four to six the training by making NO\\, I recommend stick­ OLowerreps weeks 10 the your muscles stronger ing legs and calves into the require longer rest trained). your body and/or bigger. Hence the pull muscle group. simply times between sets. adapt!\ to the training term. "progressive over­ because there are fev. er pull OLowerreps stimulus you are giv­ load": }OU have to de­ muscles. are more taxing ing it. mand that your body docs .J Vlonday: Bench Press. (more intense) than What docs thi:. more or elo;e it ''ill not Shoulder Press. Dips (or higher ones. mean'? \\ell. it adapt. That is why you whichever exercises you chose l Rcmcmher. training is not only a stimu­ means you will hit a have to increase the :l Tuesda): Squats. Chm-ups. Barbell lus to your muscles. but also to your ner­ plateau: you \viii weight and/or reps every Curls. Standing calf raises vous system. That's why £est and recov­ stop progressing. once in av. hilc: i r you wWednesday: Rest ery time is just as important as training and basically you don't. then you v. iII not 0 Thursday: Incline Dumbcll Press. Lat­ time. That's about it for this week. Just will be wasting your demand more of your eral Raises. Close-grip bench press remember that this split will be a little time in the gym. body. However. this i<> 0 Friday: Dcadlifts, Bent-over rows, more difficult than the three-days-a-week NO\\. that does not where the split comes in. Preacher Curls, Seated calf raises method. but it can also be more reward­ sound so great. docs You will eventually 0 Saturday/Sunday: Rest ing. Next week I will discuss the differ­ it? The split is one reach a finite point of de­ You can choose different exercises if you ent rep ranges and other interesting train­ way to correct the velopment v.ith a gi,en like. There are of course many variations to ing trivia. l'ntil then. take care and if you problem. Right now. routinc. But have no fear: this split. but I would never train for more have an} questions/comments. send e­ if you arc foliO\\ ing all you have to do is than two days in a row! Training is very tax- mail to [email protected]. Vergil's jump here INCIPEN'f ALLV ••• from GUN SHOW. page 10 tured a sneering. bua-cut young man as its subject. He held a badge in one hand and one shot offT gripped an automatic in the other. The piece ArouMd Ca~~tpus This WuJc. I agreed that a one quick shot was prob­ was titled "Cop Thug.. and sold for a rea­ ably all anyone could get. sonable $4. October 1~ - October 19 "With this stuff. you can't miss. A whole These perpetually scowling caricatures are cloud hits the bear·s head." He tapped a manifestations of greater societal fears Tuesday the 13th Did you try to go to the Freedom Alli­ poster behind him. which depicted a woman which. seen through the crosshairs. justify in a parking lot firing just such a cloud at a the barrels and blades leveled in their direc­ SEB is showing Amlin Powers. !//lema· ance dan~.:e last Friday and lind formal­ tion. To devotees of such gun shows, the tiona/ !VI an of /vlystcry today and tomor­ clad engineers there instead? reeling thug. row in U I 2. at 7:30 and 10 p.m. The "A bear's got a big head," I said. mugger, the terrorist. the creep and now the Thugs performed an indispensible role at cop constitute threats that necessitate an question is. ofcour~e. i~ ... bit the ceen·i/ The 'S(h-themed :\ational Coming Out this gun show. ·'How-to" knife-fighting armed citizenry. SGA'!" Show up and find out for your­ Day Datll·e i~ tonight at 9 p.m. at the Re­ self. trieYer Gri II. Admission· s only a huck and manuals diagrammed prim secretaries dis­ Even though these bugbears may be more arming hulking. ski-masked assailants. Tar­ imagined than real. their existence may al­ e\·en formal-dad cnginc~·rs arc\\ ekome. Wednesday the 14th gets for sale portrayed the traditional thug low a murky equation to be drawn between as a paunchy, middle-aged hooligan bran­ peering down a scope and legitimate social Austin Po11·cr.1 again if you mi,,eJ it Jaq Sunday the 18th dishing a revolver. One updated target fea- change. night. S;une time. S;une place. Same \\'\IBC' pre~enh a hund1 of mo\ ies that mo\ le. might make ~ou think: The \lost Secret \kthoJ. Kolya. lhl' Frt'nch .\Ji,ra/.:1' and Le;mJ cffel'li\'l· in ten ic\\ ing techniques The /)ouhll'. The e\~·nin~ ~t;ub at6 p.m. from 1-2 p.m. in \IPIO~. For more info. in the Ret riner Grill ;md admission is SC1. call C1recr De\ clopment and Placement SS if you hring a ~·an of food. For more atx2216. info. call Dre\\ ;11 ~I0-9X7-5169.

Steven Jay Gould. millennium !!U\'. is Monday the 19th coming to speak in the UC Ballroom to­ Be forewarned! l.ook through the couch Qualifie~ egg donors needed! night at 7:30p.m. This event is,frce: get cushion~ no11·. hc~.:ause :-.pare ~.:hangc ~:an thc!·c early - it i!'> expected to be buy you hooks at thc Library Fall Book packed!!! Sale! Held in the Rotunda of the AOK Compassionate, female, ages 21-30, college educa­ from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Pril:es runge from Thursday the 15th 25 cents to $2. You cmwot pass this up! tion preferred, current health insurance, healthy and The UMBC wt'estlingcluh has practices For more info. c'all x23~ I. drug free. Medical/legal expenses paid, compensa­ Sunday 4-6 p.m. and today 7-9 p.m. in Gym I. All students interested. please If you're intcrcsted in ~.:ommunity service. tion for services. CONFIDENTIAL. Interested? come. or e-mail Jason Altizer at U\1BC acti\'ities and tons of fun. come For more information, please call Peggy jalti:.l @gl.wnbc.com. to the Golden Key :-\ational llonor Society's meeting on \lonc.Jay. O~.:tobcr at 410-583-0688, anytime. Friday the 16th 19 at I p.m. in \WI02. 0 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 13, 1998 PAGE 13

ooking is a relatively foreign word to college students, food is • not. Our eating habits now will greatly affect our health and eat- • ing habits in the future. Mastering cooking skills comes with • Good to the Last Drop practice and taking advice. There's absolutely nothing wrong with • throwing everything into a pot and cooking it for three hours. • RAYMOND DUBICKI jokes. so here are a couple of recipes that you What matters is how the ingredients blend together (imagine • Retrie,·er Weekly Staff Writer actually rna) use. mixing tomato sauce and mustard). Look for common navors • that work together. Cooking requires time. Whoever said that it doesn't, lied. Now. dif- : In celebrating Cooking Week at TheRe­ Sex on the Beach ferent recipes do require different prep and cooking times. Be aware that a gourmet din- • triel•er Weekly. 1 have been commissioned to .- I ounce melon liquor ner will never be finished in fifteen minutes or less. Enjoy cooking. turn on music or : inform our readers on hO\\ to mix a good • I ounce raspberry liquor watch a cooking show. Most of all. have fun and clip out the recipes included in this • drink. "And don't forget the non-alcoholic .- I ounce vodka section. They're college student-tested and mother-approved. : drinks too." my editor said. To appease her. ,... Pineapple juice • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • we will start off with the softball stuff. ,... Cranberry juice Mix. chill and enjoy. Kooi-Aid A Kitchen Guide for .- 2 cups of sugar Imperial Smoos~ • 2 quart of water (this requires a blender) .- I packet of Kool-Aid .-I ounce gin Combine all ingredients in a pitcher. Mix. ,... I ounce rum the College Student Add ice. Enjoy. .-Pineapple juice .- Strawberries JOHN MISCHKE .-A can opener. Now that that is done, let's get to the good .- Ice R~trie'·~r W~eklv Editorial Staff .-Several plastic storage containers. stuff. First, let me inform you of the rules of Combine all ingredients in a blender. Pu­ .-At least three sets of silvern: are. plates etc. drink mixing. ree until a slushy consistency. Enjoy. You've just left the friendly nest called This will give you enough eating utensils to :1 Have aU the ingredients gathered and home for the first time and moved into your survive a day or more without doing dishes ready before starting a drink. If you do not A pplejack Punch own dig::.. Or after a year or two of living in and give you the option of having people have an ingredient. use something else. But ,... 2 bottles of apple juice the dorms on campus. you've upgraded to over. should you take the creative license to make .- I boule of ginger ale an apartment. In either case. you likely have .-A large cookie sheet. Not just for cookies up your own drinks. don't steal someone • I bottle of vodka access to your own kitchen (or at least share -you can use it for pizza too. for example. else's drink names. I don't want the Meet­ ,... I pint of orange juice it with roommates) for the first lime in your .-A measuring cup that can hold at leasttwo inghou e Punch to get a bad reputation Just .- Mint sprigs life. cups. But don't even think about measuring because you're too cheap to buy the right li­ Mix everything except the soda and the Now, you decide which drawer the silver­ spoons - real men and liberated women do quor. mint. Pour over icc. Throw in ginger ale and ware is kept, whether apples and oranges go not use them. 0 Use an appropriate glass for each drink. mint. Drink with friends while listening to in the crisper on the right or in the one on the .- A metal spatula. If you do not have an appropriate glass. use the William Tell Overture. left, where your plastic storage containers will .- Wood spoons. something else. But should you take the cre­ be (yes, Tupperware). .- Metal cooking spoons, with and without ative license to choose your own glasses~ you And finally, Meetinghouse Punch. The It's the start of a new phase in life: You holes. do so at the risk of lbe total drink experience. book I got this from suggests that you have a will be preparing your own meals. Shopping .- A cooking fork. Wine from a box should not be drunk from good reason to use this or you risk arrest. I for groceries. Cooking. Don't run for cover • A polyurethane cutting board, i.e. hard good French wineglasses; it should be drunk say that you should have a good reason to j ust yet. plastic. The wood ones will have mold grow­ from a mug or a Hefty cup. Otherwise. you make this or you risk missing the next few First of all, let me say that if you are living ing on them within a month. loose the experience of Dundalk culture. weeks of your life. in one of the on-campus apartment commu­ .-Tons of sandwich bags, freezer bags, plas­ 0 Drink responsibly. If you cannot drink Meetinghouse Punch nities and still have a meal plan, you are a tic wrap and aluminum foil. responsibly. drink something else. But should • 4 kegs of beer fool (unless you're on scholarship- but if That should get you on the right track. Head you choose not to drink responsibly, may I • 24 gallons of Jamaican rum you're paying to choke down dining hall to a discount store, like K-mart or Walmart suggest Absolut or Seagram's? • 35 gallons of white rum food, then you're a fool). You can buy and and you can buy almost everything listed Now that the inte1lectual stuff is out of the .- 7 gallons of sugar syrup prepare your own meals while spending the above for $75 or less. way, it is time to get on with the drunken­ • 25 pounds Brown sugar same amount of money or less and have the Now, a word about microwaves. Moving ness. Let's start with some easy stuff: • Enough lemons to fill a wheelbarrow convenience of eating when you want and into an on-campus apartment or not, you may Mix in a bathtub. Use an oar. Dish into the choice of eating what you want. be surprised that your new home doesn' t The Hoser and Coke clean trashcans for distribution. Enjoy with Keep in mind that so much of cooking isn't come with a microwave. Buy one. You don't This is a very dangerous mix, so use it with all of your friends. I have never had the op­ some arcane science requiring years of prac­ need something big enough to cook a turkey; caution and do not get it near your eyes. portunity to mix the entire recipe. but the tice. For you, it's just food preparation. less than a cubic foot and less than $100 will .- 8 ounces Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum occasions which I have used this recipe, it With that said, let's jump into the kitchen do the trick. You need a microwave - you ,... 2 teaspoons Coke has been simplified to equal parts beer and experience. The first thing the new bachelor. will use it everyday. Oatmeal for breakfast, ,... Icc rum mixed with something tart and sweet or bachelorette, "'ill need to do is purchase popcorn. baked potatoes, vegetables (add a Mix liquor and Coke. Pourovcnce.Drink (usuall) lemonade Kooi-Aid). Lighter beer the essentials. You'll definitely need the fol­ little water and nuke) and soup arc just some quick I) and repeal. and darker rum seem to work much better. lowing: of the things you'll prepare exclusl\ cl\ in ,... A saucepan. Prdcrahly at least two quarts. your microw:n c- and that·., not mention Russian Cafe ..r A large frying pan . mg lcftm cr~ . .- Some son of c.:aso.;cwle di,h. Microwa\c- I r you ha' e roomnu.tes putting money ,)n the t. hi bU) 11 p PAGE 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 13, 1998 r------~ THE SURVIVAL SKILLET Low-Fat Cooking ELAINE R. ELGAMIL shells. Stuffing them with hummus, refried Retriever Weekly Staff Writer beans, veggies or cheese makes a really BY ADAM CRAIGMILES easy meal. Dressings and condiments can Low-fat cooking has become the latest add flavor too. Wraps can be hot Qr cold Are you selJing your textbooks so you packaged ravioli. If you choose long and food trend in American dining. Companies and don 'L cost much to make. It's also a can afford to take someone on a date? As thin pasta, beware of table etiquette- it's are marketing products with "all the taste great party food if you don't want to invest college students, we have a great drive to very hard to look attractive with noodles and none of the fat." Yeah, right Not ev­ money or calories in a party sub. woo the opposite sex. but have very little hanging out your mouth. eryone can digest Olestra products. A great Last year. Prevention magazine came out money with which to do it. So, for the cheap To start your sauce, place the butter in a way to eliminate fat from your diet is to with a cookbook called The Healthy Cook. romantic within us all. here's a solution: medium pan over medium hear. As the but­ limit meat, cheese and grease consumption. It has the easiest and most common reci­ Instead of wining and dining your date in ter starts to melt, stir in your flour. You Vegetarianism is a healthy option, yet it is pes sans fat. It includes general tips on some fancy restaurant (and blowing your must stir the mixture constanlly from this not necessarily lower in fat or calories. Sub­ healthy cooking as well as fancy recipes college loans in the point until you· re stituting beans, meatless burgers or tofu in from famous chefs. It's a good investment process), try eating finished. Most dairy recipes will not make the dish taste like it for the first time cook as well. in. Granted, this may products are easily has meat in it, but it will be a different op­ The best way to eat healthy is to cook not hold the same scorched (which tion. The other important key to cooking is yourself, use fresh and natural ingredients pizzazz as a night out will ruin the taste of spices --not necessarily hot spices. but fla­ and monitor the amounts of fat you put in. on the town but by your sauce). so stir vorful ones, like cinnamon and parsley. Here are a couple recipes to try; modify making your own ro­ away. When the but­ Try making wraps out of soft tortilla them, Jearn from them, eat weJI. mantic meal, you can ter and flour are all score some major mixed together and r------~------~ points with your bubbling, add a little Easy, Cheesy Low-Fat Stuffed Shells date. bit of the cream, stir .- I box of jumbo stuffed shells lf you're a guy, a minute and add a ,.. 16 ounces of Hunt's tomato sauce trading in your ma- little sherry. ,.. Fresh, chopped basil and parsley cho bravado for a Continue add- ,.. 1 teaspoon of oregano pairofcooking mitts will show that you're ing a bit of each of cream and sherry until ,.. 1/4 teaspoon of black pepper a sensitive man of the 90s. If you're a you have added all of it. Do this slowly. ,.. 15 ounces Maggio fat free ricotta cheese woman, think back to that old cliche about The resulting mixture should be a little ,.. 6 ounces part skim, shredded mozzarella the best way to a man's heart. You'll also thick. Add the marinara sauce and a tiny ,.. 3 eggs (2 egg whites, 1 whole egg) give your date the impression that you're a bit of salt and stir until mixed. Now, your ,.. Fresh, chopped basil and parsley romantic, completely masking your inner sauce is done. Stick your head into the pan ,.. 1 teaspoon oregano cheapskate. For these purposes, I've pro- and take a big whiff: It should feel like ,.. 1/4 teaspoon black pepper vided an easy meal you can make to im- angels are plucking at your nostrils. Yom Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cook the shells as instructed. While the shells are press the pants offyour date (don't take that date should swoon at the slightest scent. {f cooking, pour the sauce at the bottom of the pan. Start preparing the cheese filling. the wrong way). your sauce doesn't smell wonderful. you Before adding anything to the ricotta cheese, make sure that you stir it until its creamy. Be warned that this is a rather fattening screwed up. Cut your losses and go to Add each ingredient one by one and stir them in evenly. meal. But have no fear: If it's one of your McDonalds. · Once the shells are cooked and drained, take each one and fill it with a tablespoon first dates with the person, you'11 be so ner- Smell, in this meal, is going to be the of the cheese filling. Place them neatly, in one layer, in the pan, on top of the sauce. vous that your body will bum right through winning factor. But presentation is also im­ Sprinkle a little bit of parmesan or mozzarella cheese on top of the shells. Cover the this. If fat content is a real concern, replace portant. Try adding a few vegetables to the pan with aluminum foil and cook it for about an hour. It'll be ready when the cheese the butter with margarine, the cream with top. Slice up a couple of mushrooms and .. in______the shells has a chunkier texture. Serve with a nice salad and some warm, fresh .. milk and cross your fingers (it may not place them in a pan with a small handful bread. Bon appetit! work as well). of frozen peas. Simmer them with your fa- Here's what you'll need: vorite spices, then place sparingly atop a r------~ 0 2 tablespoons butter hearty amount of sauce and pasta. Put a Stir-Fry Veggies and Couscous 0 2 heaping tablespoons of flour dash of basil or parsley in the center for a ,.. 1 box of couscous (rice or pasta will work too) 0 2 cups half-and-half final topper. Serve under the glow of lit 1 ,.. 2 summer squashes 0 12 cup sherry candles with a light salad. But as a word ,.. 2 zucchini 0 2 tablespoons marinara/tomato sauce of caution-if you plan to play Kenny G ,..Mushrooms 0 a pinch of salt as part of your romantic evening, think 0 4 or 5 fresh mushrooms (optional) again. The sound of Kenny G will curdle ,.. Snow peas or sugar snap peas 1 ,.. 1 green pepper 0 /4 cup of peas (optional) the sauce instantly. ,.. 1 red pepper The sauce will only take about 1.0 min- For next week: another wooing pasta ,.. 1 head of broccoli utes, so start boiling the water for the pasta sauce, but for stable, long-term couples ,.. I medium sized white onion, diced first. The type of pasta you pick is strictly only. All rude and tasteless feedback can ,.. low sodium soy sauce or cooking wine or tomato sauce your choice, but I suggest fettuccini or be sentto me via email: [email protected]. AAu • ,.. 2 tablespoons of canola oil .. - THE SURVIVAL SKILLET regularly runs m the Features section. - .. ,.. Black pepper · ,.. Garlic ,.. Oregano Chop all the vegetables and stick them in a bowl. Heat the oil on a skillet and fry Desserts for Yahoos up them onions. Add the vegetables, sauce and spices. Keep stirring and watch to make sure the veggies don't dry out. Cook it all on medium heat until the veggies RAYMOND DUBICKI ,.. I teaspoon vanilla soften up (They cook for 8-10 minutes). Serve the veggies on top of the couscous. Retriever Weekly General Manager ,.. 3 large eggs, separated Combine crumbs and margarine; press onto What follows is the recipes for three des­ bottom of9-inch springform pan. Bake at 325 ~------~ serts; one for experienced cooks, two for the degrees for 10 minutes. Or, place the Nilla fridge doesn't smell funny). Top with cherry Pastries in half and fill with the cream cheese rest of us yahoos. Wafers in the bottom of the cupcake cups. pie filling or fresh fruit, if desired. mixture. Then, combine the cream cheese, sugar, juice, Original "Philly" Cheesecake peel and vanilla, mixing at medium speed on Now that the hard stuff is out of the way, Armageddon Brownies (one 9" cake or about two dozen cupcakes) electric mixer until well blended. Add egg here are a couple of fairly easy dessert reci­ ,.. Box of brownie mix Crust (if you have a springform pan): yolks, one at a time, mixing well after each pes: ,.. Bag of chocolate chips ,.. I cups graham cracker crumbs addition. Beat egg whites until stiff peaks Prepare the brownies according to the di­ ,.. 3 tablespoons margarine, melted form; fold into cream cheese mixture. (If you Cream Puffs rections on the box. Cook in a shallow tray Crust (if all you have is a cupcake pan): have never done this before, do not be in­ ,.. Two packs of cream cheese, softened instead of pan. Be careful not to overcook. ,.. Paper cupcake cups timidated, just beat the hell out of the egg ,.. 4 cups of whipped cream (if you have a Remove and cool. Cut in half. Return one ,.. Two dozen whole Nilla Wafers whites until they look like whipped cream) electric mixer, get the Bakers Whipping half to pan. Sprinkle with chocolate chips (the Cake: Pour over crust. Bake at 300 degrees for 45 Cream from the store) hell with sprinkling, really lay them on thick) ,.. 24 ounces cream cheese, softened minutes. Loosen cake from rim of pan; cool ,.. I teaspoon orange extract Place the second brownie half on top of the ,.. 3/4 cups sugar before removing rim of pan. Chill. (I don't ,.. Stella Dora Puff Pastries first layer. Sprinkle with more chips. Place ,.. 5 tablespoons lemon juice know why, but I have always found that W11ip up the whipped cream. Fold in the in broiler for three minutes. Be really careful ,.. I 112 teaspoof\S grated lemon peel cheesecake is better the next day, if your cream cheese and orange extract. Cut the Puff not to overcook. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 13, 1998 PAGE 15 r------~ r------~ Chicken Fred-Get-Out-of-the-Way Honey Oatmeal When I first moved away from home. I was. for aU intents and purposes. alone in a Retriever small apartment \\Cith no cable. My only companion was a tiny, gray kitten named Fred Cookies who had and still has- a real problem with authority. My first feeble attempts at ,... 1/2 cup flour cooking were spoucd with loud epithets and "Fred, get out ofthe o/o"$# way!" was one ,.. 3/4 teaspoon baking soda Staff of them. ,.. 3/8 teaspoon salt ~ 2 boneless. skinless chicken breasts ,.. I teaspoon cinnamon ~ 1/2 boule Crystal Hot Sauce ,.. l/2 teaspoon nutmeg Favorites ... ~ l/2 teaspoon McCormick's Sea­ Stir these ingredients very well. Then son-All add: ~ Pepper to taste ,.. 1/2 cup raisins ~A few good squirts of Hellman's ,... 2 cups oars Dijonnaise Mix in: ,... l/4cup oil Here are ~ A blob of Ranch dressing, if you have some ,.. 3/8 cup honey ~ Some sort of liquid. about I/2 cup (r ve used iced tea, Woodchuck Cider, Diet Coke; ,.. l/8 cup molasses the idea is to ensure the chicken doesn't dry out) ,.. l/4 cup juice a few ,.., egg ~ However much Minute Rice you can handle. I like rice. I make two servings. Read the box. Grease cookie sheets and drop batter ·cut-out This is not rocket science. Chop the chicken, throw everything except the rice in to a on them. Bake the cookies for I 0-12 pan. Cook it all on medium heat. If it tries to dry out, add liquid of your choosing. Stir minutes at 350 degrees. These cookies • the lot. then cover it and let it simmer until your favorite half-hour sitcom is finished. are soft. spicy and healthy. -Amber recipes Look in on it from time to time (i.e. commercial breaks) and stir it. Make some rice in .. Aurich______.. the microwave and when you· redone with that. add the rice directly to the pan with the chicken stuff. Jf the rice isn't done, it's fine. it will be done by the time you eat it. r------~ that are Transfer the stuff to a plate. Get a large beverage, this is a hot meal. It does actually Stuffed Peppers serve two. hence the two chicken breasts bit, but if you're only one, it re-heats OK. This is a vegan recipe for people who The finished product is rather like buffalo wings, but without the wing part, and don't eat meat, dairy products or eggs. quick, without the Buffalo thing. If your cat is still bothering you, give him some, you'll get ,.. 2 tablespoons oil yucks out of watching him run around with his tongue hanging out. You didn'tthink ,.. 4 cloves garlic, diced cats had eyebrows to raise. -len Siciliano ,.. 2 large onions, diced easy and ~------~ ,.. 1 stalk celery, diced r------~ ,.. 2 carrots, diced cheap to Wasted Cookie Mix ,.. I green pepper, diced First, you must be completely wasted to the point where you can't stand (for fear of ,.. 5 teaspoons Tamari soy sauce peeing yourself) and you are giggling very hard. This way, all the ingredients and amounts ,.. 6-10 green peppers, cored make. you put in seem rather logical. ,.. A dash of pepper ~ Mixing bowl ,.. 1/2 teaspoon basil ~ Two or three eggs ,.. 1/2 teaspoon salt Impress ,.. Milk (add as needed) ,.. 112 teaspoon paprika ,.. Nestle's Chocolate Quik (add as needed) ,.. 1/2 teaspoon oregano ,.. Butter (I can't remember how much I added) ,.. 3 cups rice your ,.. baking soda (ditto) ,.. 3 tablespoons peanut butter ~ Flour (again ditto) Preheat oven to 350 F. Heat the oil ,.. Pancake mix (yep. you guessed it, ditto) in a large skillet over medium-high heat. parents. ,.. Sugar (about two to 20 packets- Remember now, you're wasted. This will make Add the garlic, onions, celery. carrots, sense.) pepper, tamari and spices; saute for 5 ~ About 20 unwrapped Hershey's chocolate Kisses (They seem to taste better) minutes until tender. Add to the rice. Impress ,.. If you're feeling adventurous as I did that night, three mega-sapoonfuls of extra­ Add the peanm butter and season to strength children's cough syrup taste. Stuff each pepper almost to the Tum on the oven. It doesn't matter what temperature, because you will be constantly top with mix and place on a baking your date. checking on them to see if they're done. Mix everything except the Kisses in the pan. sheet. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes, until Drop spoonfuls of the mix onto the pan and stick it in the oven. When you feel that the soft. Serves LO. -courtesy ofthe Farm cookies are half cooked, take them out of the oven and push the Kisses into them pointy Animal Refonn Movement Feed end down. Put the pan back into the oven. Remove the pan when you think that they are done. Cool for a half a second, if you r------~~------~ can wait that long. First I had one, then I had another, then I had six more. Be sure that Luscious Latte yourself. you don't have anything important to do for the next week because I'm still feeling weird and it's been five days so far. One person had more than me and no one has seen This recipe requires a eappucino ma­ him since. -Jason Putsche chine which I am sure any true coffee connoisseur has. ,.. I shot of fresh brewed espresso r------~~------~ ,.. 2 shots of heavy whipping cream r------~ Sumptuous Sandwich Ring ,.. 1/4 teaspoon almond extract Polio Con Salsa ,.. 2 packages (II ounces each) refrigerated French bread dough ,... 3 tablespoons Hershey's chocolate ,.. Vegetable oil syrup (Tasty Chicken ~ 3 pressed garlic cloves ,.. Whipped cream (optional) with Salsa} ,.. l/2 teaspoon each - dried oregano and basil leaves Using a demitasse, measure the whip­ ,... 2 cups chopped lettuce ping cream and pour it into a metal Take two chicken breasts and cut them ,.. I medium each -onion, green bell pepper, tomato. all thinly sliced steaming cup. Add the almond and into bite-sized pieces. Saute them in two ,.. l/2 cup pined ripe olives, sliced chocolate syrup. Mix thoroughly. tablespoons of olive oil in a Dutch oven ~ 8 ounces each- hard salami, bologna, ham, turkey, all thinly sliced Use the same demitasse to brew a shot or in a frying pan. Then add: ,.. 4 ounces each- Muenster, Swiss, American cheese, all thjnly sliced of espresso. Always use fresh espresso ,.. I c. black beans ,.. 6 tablespoons Italian dressing, divided grounds and fresh water when brewing. ,.. l c. garbanzo beans ,.. 6 miscellaneous condiments to your liking (mayo, mustard, etc.) While brewing the espresso, steam the ,.. 2c. water Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place dough, seams down, on a baking stone or round whipping cream. Don't suck the milk ,.. 2 c. white corn baking sheet, joining the ends together to form one large ring. Cut six to eight diagonal on the steamer. This makes foam. foam ,.. 12 oz. Old El Paso Picante Salsa slashes, about l/2 inch deep, on top of dough. Lightly spray/coat with vegetable oil. is bad! Lattes don't have foam. Pour the ,.. l/4 tsp. onion salt Press garlic over dough, spread evenly. Sprinkle with oregano and basil. Bake 26-30 espresso into the drinking mug and ,... 1/8 tsp. garlic powder minutes or until deep golden brown. Immediately remove and allow to cool completely. slowly pour the cream on top. Garnish Heat this concoction and serve it on a When cool, cut bread in half horizontally, and arrange meat and cheese evenly over with whipped cream and chocolate pow­ bed of rice. Mmmmm, tastes just like the bottom. Top with lettuce. Drizzle two tablespoons dressing evenly over lettuce. Top der. This recipe makes one latte.-Tracy chicken. -Jamie Smith Hopkins, as in­ with onion, bell pepper, tomato and olive slices. Brush top of upper half with remaining .. Soltesz______.. structed by her mother-in-law dressing, place over bottom half. Cut into wedges and serve. Makes about eight serv­ ~------.1 ings, with 390 calories and 18 fat grams each. -Jamie Peck Psst •.. Clip the dashed lines and save these recipes for easy cookin'! ~------~ PAGE 16 How to Tackle the Grocery Store Without Being Bait from KITCHEN GUIDE, page 13 What will invariably happen is you'll buy a to the rack of bread that's nearing the sell date meal-sized chunks and freeze them. The best box, eat one or two bowls on those rare morn­ and the supermarket is practically giving away. way to defrost is to put the piece in the fridge 0 percent payout of what everyone put in. A ings you have time for breakfast and then dis­ Prepared foods: Perhaps the staple of the all day before you intend to prepare it. toaster or toaster oven is also a near-neces­ cover a month later that your box of cereal is single college student. We're talking burritos, Now it's time to start cooking. If you've sity. stale or moldy. You want foods that keep for egg rolls and pizza. The former two choices never done it before, go to the library and do Now it's time to head to the grocery store. that first meal of the day. arc a bit pricy as groceries go (a buck-fifty or some reading. Don'tjust read lists of recipes, Your best bel is to buy the Sunday paper and Two things that are always going on sale so for each burrito, several dollars for a pack­ but look at books on the art of cooking. Un­ scan the supermarket ads for good deals. But are frozen waffles and oatmeal. Waffles, es­ age of four to six egg rolls), but they're just less you're planning a large banquet, it's not unless it's a fantastic deal, don't go to the su­ pecially the bargain store brand, are a great so dam easy to prepare. that difficult. Tum the stove on and throw a permarket on Sunday unless you want to spend deal. For a dollar or so, you get two or three Frozen pizza is one of the great bargains of piece of steak, chicken or a hamburger patty an hour in line. What's on sale should still be ready-to-toast breakfasts in a box. Toss them all time. Buy the right brand and it's cheap, in the frying pan. Cook it until it's done. You'll there Monday or Tuesday. The Sunday paper in the freezer and they keep fo rever. easy to prepare and leaves little clean-up work. figure it out. Sure, you might get E.Co li fi rst. is also chock full of coupons. Don't be afraid Microwaveable oatmeal is good too, but after Pizza makes for great study food, party food but you will eventually figure it out. Cut your of looking like Grandma Betty. Clip and save several months in the cupboard, it can taste a or a late-night snack. (Unabashed plug: Buy meat in the middle and make sure it looks done up to a thirty percent on your weekly food bill. little rancid. Bagels are also a wise choice. DiGiomio. As good or better than Domino's and doesn't feel cold. Obviously what you buy will be dependent Pick up a six-pack of Lenders' and it'll last or Papa John's at a third of the price.) Aside from meat, lillie else you're prepar­ on your own personal tastes, economic means the entire week. Don't forget to buy orange Fruits and Veggies: Everyone likes fresh, ing will be dangerous if not done properly. lt and lifestyle. But here are some tips to eat well juice in economy sizes-it stays fresh longer. but canned and frozen vegetables often go on might be a total disaster to the taste buds, but and stretch your dollar: But get nothing larger than a half-gallon of sale for practically nothing. (Unabashed plug: it should be a safe disaster. Before long, you' 11 Breakfast: One of the biggest mistakes milk. Unless you're training for the Olympics, Buy your fresh stuff at Safeway.) be inviting friends over for dinner and trying you'll make is to buy a box of cereal. Break­ a gallon will go sour before you drink it all. Meat: Look at the percent of fat in the cut to impress that hot date. Word to the wise: fast cereals are horribly overpriced these days Bread: Avoid buying fresh bread at full - it should be printed on the label. After get a tablecloth. some candles and a nice bottle and they're made for families, not singles. price. You won't finish it. Buy it on sale or go you've bought it, take it home and cut it into of wine-just in case you sere\\ up the meal.

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When something is too extreme for words, it's to the Nth degree. And that's the level of technology you' ll experience ot Raytheon. Raytheon has formed a new technological superpower-Raytheon Systems Company, composed of four major technological giants: Raytheon Electronic Systems, Raytheon E-Systems, Raytheon Tl Systems and Hughes Aircraft. The new Raytheon Systems Company is driving technology to the limit. And we're looking for engineers who want to push the envelope. Break new ground. Make their mark. At Raytheon, you'll take technology-and your career-to the highest possible level. You'll toke it to the Nth. We'll be visiting your campus soon. Contact your career placement office now to schedule on interview, or check out our website ot www.rayjobs.com. If you ore unable to meet with us, please send your resume to: Raytheon Resume Processing Center, P.O. Box 6602-46, MS-201, Dallas, TX 75266. We hove many exciting opportunities available and we would like to talk to you. PAGE 17

t6 WHAf !HEY WANf You ro HEA~ 8> Events Happening Around the

A Mafia of Speed Geeks Finally. ''The Show," a personal favorite. Baltimore-Washington Area compares good and bad shows. The last two Voodoo Glow Skulls Continue Uplempo Streak songs are not as edgy as the first, but a few as­ Tuesday the 13th The Millennium Approaches •• and it's pects remain constant, such as the band's fero­ I've Got a Crush on You FREE! "Who Do! VooDoo! We Do!" The Voodoo cious growl. very apparent in their music as well Go hang out at Bobager's for College Night. The Millennium Stage at the Kennedy Cen­ Glow Skulls released The Band Geek Mafia as Martin's rants. Ian, eat your heart out. for Crushing Day and 2-for-1 drinks. Make ter offers great performances for absolutely recently, their fourth LP on Epitaph Records. The Beat Me Ups' side failed to leave such a sure you have your college £0. lest you get nothing. How can you go wrong? Tonight: Although journalists have compared their mu­ mighty impression on me. Though a solid band, hassled for impersonating a college student. Guateque Ballet Folklorico de Puerto sical style to Black Flag with horns or The l found them cleaner in their sound and a bit Bohager's is located at 515 South Eden Rico performs "seises, danzas and other folk Mighty Mighty Bosstones if they were a closer to skate pun!<. "That Cloud's A Whore" Street in Fells. For more info. call41 0-563- foot works" for a truly entertaining evening. hardcore band. I do not think there really is a is the standout on the side. The Beat Me Ups 7220. Make a whole doggone night of it and have dinner in D.C. at some little out-of-the-way viable comparison. Think of Less Than Jake's have a certain clean buzz to them that comple­ Wednesday the 14th place in Georgetown. For more info on the tempo jacked up to a blistering pace: think of ments the ferocity of Code Blue well but docs CouJd I ~t a Little Control Here, Please? show (we can't help you for dinner) call not match it. Although most kids will enjoy Beat Skankin' Pickle on speed. Janet Jackson graces the stage at the Balti­ 800-444-1324. Me Blue in its entirety. those who find the Beat When VGS played at Warped Tour. the pace more Arena tonight at 7:30. Like that's not of their I ive ~hO\\ was unmatched. These seven Me Ups especially good should invest in their sold out. If for some reason you have an Sunday the 18th guys from Riverside. California. blew away the demo tape. which includes these three songc; as extra S50 to throw around. call Ticketmru.ter '\Jmmm, Beer! crowd. wore their skanking legs out and well as three more. at 410-481-SEAT. Loiter and drinJ..: beer in public! The Mal')­ wanned the crowd up for Rancid. who hit the Neither band is ready to embark on a jour­ land Craft Beer Festival is happening in stage next. ney through the national punk scene. However. Thursday the 15th Fcdcr.tl Hill. It's prell> self-explanatory. Go. The Band Geek \1afia offers 1-l tracks of ska­ in November. Code Blue enters the studio to It Don't :\lean a Thing have fun and don't get arrested for doing punk that will not onl} rock you in your seat. record their first LP. to be released on Swing tonight in the Grand Ballroom of the soml!thmg stup1d He}. and while you're at but willleaw you in the dust: don'ttry to keep Sneezeguard Records. The two bands arc also Belvedere with The City Paper's Fall it. stop by the SoBo Cafe. where the motto up. you won't be able to. Known around the preuy eas) to catch around town if you wamto Swing Fling. From 7 -II p.m. you can dance i\ "Our food is ~o good it will make your punk scene for their sense of humor. vocalist experience their live performances. which arc to the beat ofTotaJiy Confused. ravage the tongue want to slap your brains out. .. No Frank Casillas· lyrics lllrn personal on songs quite entertaining. But for starters. the seven­ free buffet and drool all over your desig­ kidding. like '·Love Lcuer" and "Symptomatic." inch is a great buy for just three dollars. -JCR nated driver after hitting the cash bar. Tix Casillas also brings the life around him into arc $15 and arc available at the door or at Monday the 19th the fold with "Left for Dead." a warning about Excuse Soul Coughing The City Paper. 812 Park Ave. (410-523- Nothing Happens on Mondays 2300), or at the Towson Dance Studio at 31 I have a friend who recently procured a copy the danger~ of living fast and dying young, El Oso Oh-So-Typical preaching that people weren't born with needles Allegheny Ave (410-828-6116). The Belve­ of the Clinton Grand Jury Testimony. Sit in their arms. Living in the realm of modern rock, where dere is located at I East Chase Street at at home. pop some popcorn and fry the Charles Street. The fury continues through the rest of the the radio waves are dominated by bassy, hip­ prc~idcnt yourself. Or, if you have a life, go to Blockbuster and pick up Nixon. JFK, tracks: the energy of the horns never fades. One hoppy pop. it is very hard to be impressed by a Friday the 16th Wag the Dog, Bob Roberts. All the must question if these guys are for real. play­ new .song lbat comes on. Those with the ability Don't You Honey Me, Pal Presidem:~ Men. Primary Colors and The 10 reign over this realm. like Beck or the Beastie ing this fast. and doing it night after night in Mudhoney is playing at 9:30 Club in D.C. Uule Mermaid. That last one is purely for different cities. It may be possible if double Boys, have enough ingenuity to create songs For more info. call the club at202-393-0930. educational value. Moral: don't fall for espressos are a dietary supplement for these that pave the way for the rest: they have to in people with feet. because they'll just end guys. Still coming at you a decade after their order not to drown in the monotony of bands Saturday the 17th up screwing you over. birth with more sonic explosions is the Voodoo like Third Eye Blind. 311. :md an entire arm} Glow Skulls. Chalk up The Band Geek Mafia of others exactly like them. Soul Coughing falls as an essential album in your record collection. just short of the poim where a new song grabs "Who Do! VooDoo! We Do!" -John C. Roemer your attention. El Oso has some good points. though. The Beat Me Blue New York band conjures up some groove beats. Two weals Split a Seven-Inch especially in the rap-rock-trance track "The Incumbent. .. The problem is that this song Over the summer. two local punk bands re­ sounds almost exactly like every single other present a love leased a split seven-inch entitled Beat Me Blue. song on the album. and in tum like every other story that will The two bands. rising on the local punk circuit. one on the radio. Soul Coughing's style fits per­ captt;Jre your Code Blue and The Beat Me Ups. showcase fectly into the mold of a '90s pop band, draw­ their talems with three songs apiece. ing inspiration from jazz, hip-hop, trance, and heart, awakep Code Blue's side kicks off with vocalist Pat overly drummed and overly amplified rock. your$Oul afjld Martin's favorite on the record. "NecKbreakcr," And while this mix is not theoretically a bad scare y..eu to which is the tale of a friend and roadie who idea. it is grossly overdone and desperately turned his back on the band. Pat delivers the needs an update. Our polluted radio waves need death! song in a way that would make lan MacKaye cleaning, and music like this is only causing BRIDE OF feel appreciated. 15 years removed from his more static. CHUCK¥. Minor Threat days. The buzzing guitar riffs Overall rating: ** 112 (out of five). Nothing - rl'le cominue in "Miss Innocent," a rant about a girl more or less than average. Recommendation: who pretends to be. well, innocent. but in her Don't bother. Once you own one modem rock honey mows closet she hides her multiple partners. album. you own them all. - Amw Kaplan P gonna be' killer! Come to The Retriever More Travels With Anna Weekly's FunFest this from TRAVELS. page 10 Travel guide: No. clipping "Travels with Anna" from The Retriel'er Weekly. although a Wednesday Ofl creepy hostel showers. very flattering idea, is not a sufficient guide. the UC Plaza Towel: We really must trust Douglas Adams Find one that specifically targets budget trav­ at on this: Anyone who can hitchhike through the elers; I strongly recommend the "Let's go" sc 1 p.m. to galaxy. and still know where his or her towel ries. They really know their stuff. and the books is. means husmess. are complete with maps. directions. general in­ pick up your Camera: With lol\ of film. Obvious purpose. fornlation. descriptions of and directions to hos­ BRIDE OF Swiss Army knife: The possibilities are end­ tels. cheap food. touric;t information. and prelly <:HUCKY prize less. A J..:itchcn knile. repair kit. and weapon much ever: thing else you may need. If plan­ pack. Supplies all in one. Please note. though. that no matter ning to spend time in a particular cit}. though, hO\\ good the kmfe is. the corkscre\\ will ai­ obtam a separate map (the "Let's go" people are limited, so W:t) s lind a wa} to break. fall off. or just ran­ also have an excellent map/guide series). hurry! donlly not runction. Well. nO\\ that ) ou are all packed and ready First aid kit: hand-aid~. aspmn. bug spray. to go. I must detain you for another week In CHU(KY GETS LUCKY OCTOBER 16TH! other basic stun: Hopefully you\\ ill never need the next issue we"' ill discuss the various ways Offer good while supplies last. Employees of UMBC, ThE Retriever it. but you never know when you\\ ill fall off a to reach your particular destination and ho\\ to Weekly and Unrversal Pictures are not eligible. No Fo.Hchase mountain. get around once you are there. necessary PAGE 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 13,1998

Everything a college student needs to make life on campus a little less stressful: • Checking with no minimum balance • Branch near camJ?US in the • 700 FREE Chevy Chase ATMs Dorsey's Search Village Center • Opportunity to establish credit • ATM in the lower level of • Free Chevy Chase Check Card · the University Center • Overdraft protection • Chevy Chase Home Banking For more information on the Student Banking Package, call 1-800-987-BANK. CHEVY CHASE' BANK . FDIC ....:..5---:..:-::: ,.( ,., .·.. chettchasebank.com THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 13, 1998 PAGE19 Oprah's Dearly Beloved Challenging, Emotional Civil War-Era Ghost Story Is Laced With Heart and Soul

VICTORY MARASIGAN was created. Sethe is the one being Retriever Weekly Staff Writer haunted, but the ghost in the house is the least of her fears. In fact, the Jonathan Demme's Beloved (***'h out ghost is one of the reasons she of fou r), based on the novel by Toni chooses to stay. Morrison, is a study in skillful li terary adap­ The story takes an bizarre tum tation. On one hand, the film manages to rec­ with the appearance of Beloved reate key moments from the book, evoking (Thandie Newton), a young black­ Morrison's pragmatic narrative style without clad woman who appears on Sethe's using her authorial voice. On the other hand, front lawn, leaning Christ-like Beloved omits the some of the finer details against a tree stump. Sethe and Den­ of its source, favoring an ambiguously de­ ver immediately take to the rasping fined backstory upon which to build the tale's woman and try to nurse her to health. main events. This choice is smartly made, for They know not who she is, but lhat it creates an open space in which the story's doesn't matter. Only Paul Dis sus­ wide range of emotions can gestate and grow. picious of the stranger. Little does lndeed, the impact of the film is so protracted the family know that Beloved will that much of it cannot be felt until long after bring about many changes, and force the end credits have rolled. Sethe to release a guilt she has held BelOI'ed takes place in the second half of onto so urgently for 18 years. the 19th century. during the so-called Recon­ Winfrey is arguably Beloved's struction Era after the Civil War. For newly­ greatest asset. She inhabits the role freed slaves, 't Js a time of confuMon and wr­ of Sethe so com incmgly 1t is hard moil. Oprah\\ mfrey plays Sethe. a slave who to believe this is the same woman escaped a Kentucky plantation and took her who shines brightly on a TV talk children to an Ohio farmhouse. where she show. Lisa Gay Hamilton does an hoped the terror would end. What she did not impressive job in the emotionally know was that it would follow her there, and demanding role as the younger remain with her long after the physical threat Sethe, whose appalling actions make had vanished. Beloved ultimately tells the her the disturbed woman we see later story of Sethc ·s search for forgiveness. one on. Danny Glover is affable as the long-hampered b} an unforgettable sin. sympathetic Paul D. as is Kimberly The film starts off on a dreary day ten years Elise as Denver. Sethe ·s wanderlust­ after Sethe's escape. as a violent. unseen en­ ing daughter. As Sethe's sage-like ergy rocks her dilapidated farmhouse. Invis­ mmher-in-law Old Baby Suggs. ible hands terrorize her family, flinging ob­ Beah Richards authoritatively com­ jects across rooms, shaking tables. rattling mands every scene in which she ap­ floorboards. Serhe's sons run away, perhaps pears. The film's least palatable for good, leaving Sethe and her daughter choice of casting is unfortunately Touchstone Pictures Denver to fend for themselves. that of the role of Beloved herself. Kindred Spirits: Danny Glover and Oprah Winfrey look to the skies in Jonathan Demme's Demme's mauer-of-fact handling of this Thandie Newton plays the glassy­ Beloved, the long-awaited cinematic adaptation of Toni Morrison's award-winning novel. supernatural element is just one of Belol'ed's eyed girl with a demented fervor intriguing aspects. All of the characters take which is endearing at first, but which be­ rable scenes are those of Baby Suggs' gath­ bility one usually expects from a film. Noth­ for granted that ghosts are real. When Paul comes off-putting and unintentionally laugh­ erings in a forest clearing, where the bright ing is spoon-fed to the viewer. D (Danny Glo\'er) - a former slave who able by the end. yellow-greens of nature entrance the viewer Morrison's novel is just as enigmatic. but escaped Kentucky along with Sethe - ar­ Departing from the honed aesthetic he used as much as Suggs· words do. unlike a movie, a book can be put down to rives at the house eight years later and is con­ in such films as The Silence of the Lambs For the most part, though, Demme main­ allow the various undercurrents and themes fronted with the ghost's hellish visions, he and Melvin & Howard. director Demme has tains his trademark directorial neutrality. to chum and absorb. The movie begins like doesn't run in terror. Instead. he asks who used a bit of dramatic overstatement to get This, combined with Morrison's equally fru­ Poltergeist and ends like The Color Pu1ple. the ghost is. across the vivid descriptions in Morrison's gal method of storytelling, may make Beloved with shades of The Scarlet Letter and Lirrle As in Morrison's novel. Demmc quickly novel. Totemic camera shots and color-satu­ somewhat of a challenge to \\arch. even to Women somewhere in the middle. Taken as a establishes that the horror of the story v. ill rated scenery arc dcc1dedly uncommon in thaf'! familiar with lhe book. Though the film whole, Be/ored is a disquieting. one-of-a-kind not come from the fact of the ghost itscl f. but Demme·s films. but the fC\\ he uses here work compliments the book extraordinarily well. experience. one o be 'icv.ed v. itb guards from the terri f) ing past in which the ghost to the film's benefit. Belm·ed's 'llOst memo- it falls short in allowing the sort of acces~i- dO\\.n and :.pints in at'lc yance. Know of anything going on around campus or in the Baltimore area? Call x 1260 and help us fill our Around Town and Incidentally columnsl PAGE 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October /3, 1998

WILLIAM H. MACY J.T. WALSH AND REESE WITHERSPOON ..,. . .. -;a-..... "SIMPLY BRILLIANT!" Jey c ...... TIK aOSTOH GLOa5 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 13, 1998 PAGE21

The Impostors' GOOD WEEKLY Ship of Fools INCOME processing mail for VICTORY MARASIGAN national company! Free Relriel'tr IVetkly SlajJIVriter supplies, postage! No sell­ ing! Bonuses! Start imme­ I have to admit that I admire what writer­ diately! Genuine opportu­ director Stanley Tucci v,as trying to do with nity! his latest lilm The Impostors (** 112 out of Please rush Long Self­ four). Ohv1ously an homage to the screw­ Addressed Stamped Enve­ ball "program picture" comedies of the '30s lope to and '40s, the movie exudes a joie de 1•ivre MPC, SUITE 391 which is hard to dislike. It's too bad that 2045 Mt Zion Rd MORROW, GA 30260 Tucci's screenplay degenerates into the for­ mulaic drivel and standardncss which de­ railed many films of that very same era. Oliver Platt and Stanley Tucci play STIJDY IN Maurice and A.rthur. a pair of starving actors Fox Searchlight in 1930s cw York. They arc desperate for Keeping Touch: Stanley Tucci and Oliver Platt feel around in The Impostors. work. but they aren't idle. Among their pas­ OXFORD times is putting on loud. brash arguments in ensemble fashion. the film ·introduces the head steward. a scar-faced German with an public. with the inevitable conclusion of one various players whom Maurice and Arthur unrequited lust. Lili Taylor and Matt McGmth Live with British of them falling to the ground with exagger­ will encounter on their maritime adventure. arc irresistibly sweet as lovers who must over­ ated death throes. Though they'd rather have There's the rich sheik (Teagle F. Bougere). come the crazy circumstances which keep students in the jobs. Maurice and Arthur lind that such real There's the stuffy aristocrat (Dana Ivey). them apart. And Tony Shalhoub must be center of Oxford world practice works more directly to their There's the depressed lounge singer (Steve awarded the brass ring for having the, um. benefit. particularly in scarnming vendors out Buscemi. who actuaJiy sings!). There's the cojones to do a wild phone sex scene. as an Associate Student of their food. When they're not begging, deposed Queen (Isabella RosseJiini) ... it's The film's catchy jazz score and art deco of an Oxford college at they're auditioning (the line between the two that kind of yam. The only caricatures miss­ production design make The Impostors easy an affordable price. has become blurred for the desperate pair). ing are Frankenstein and Dracula (catch that, on the ears and eyes. I confess that had the $8,250 a semester. What is such a shame is that the film fails to Abbott and Costello fans?). From here it's film been shot in black-and-white.! may have milk their comedy-rich plight in the city and strictly hide-and-seek mayhem, as our given it a half-star higher. It's details like that Thition, Housing, opts instead to plop Maurice and Arthur hap­ bumbling pair of heroes hop from cabin to which can make all the difference in a film Meals included. hazardly into a completely different locale. cabin trying to avoid the peeved Mr. Burtom like this. Although The Impostors is in toto Summer term option Through an ill-fated encounter with a who. it turns out, is also on board. only good for a few chuckles, there is a cer­ Shakespearean actor named Jeremy Burtom The cruise ship plot is a yawner, but some tain joy to be had in watching an ensemble Oxford Study (Alfred Molina. who makes one of the worst. appropriately hammy performances do get to cast having a fun time just being silly. Here's Abroad Programme Hamlets ever captured on lilm). the pair end light up the screen. Campbell Scott gets some hoping that next time, director Tucci makes 33-35 George Street up as sto\\aways on a cruise sh1p. In classic of the film's best Jines from his role as the a film that's as fun for the audience as well. Oxford 0Xl2AY England Telephone and Facsimile: Meryl's One Tough Oil 44 1865 -,98738 E-mail. Mama in True Thing [email protected]

JAMIE PECK ish sentiment. Direc­ Rnritl'tr Uet>klv Staff Writer tor Carl Franklin, taking a break from Thanks 10 you. all sorts of everyday In One True Thing (***1/z). Meryl gritty crime-dramas products are bemg made from the Streep 's Kate Gulden, a middle-aged mother like One False Move paper. ptasttc. metal and glass that of two, makes her grand entrance dispensing and Devil in a Blue you've been recycling. generous advice and big hugs, baking a Dress, shows admi­ But to keep recycling worktng to chocolate cake and proudly flaunting her rable restraint in his help protect the enVironment. you homemade Wizard ofOz Dorothy attire, com­ handling of the Gul­ plete with yam pigtails, in preparation for a dens' crisis. It would 1 need to buy those products. costume party. Right away, you identify with be far too easy to tum this woman: she's the kind of mom you ei­ the film into a scene BUY RECYCLED. ther have, had or wish you had - loving, after scene of button­ tolerant, creative in a way that puts Martha pushing manipula­ Stewart to shame and perhaps just a little bit tion, but Franklin and of a nuisance. Or too much of a nuisance, screenwriter Karen her daughter EJien (Renee ZeJiweger) might Croner, adapting the say, and a siJiy, simple, doting domestic ar­ 1995 novel by Anna Universal Pictures One True Thing's Meryl Streep and Renee chetype on top of that. Quindlen, don't lin­ Mother and Child: Ellen's very much the child of her father, ger over the devastat­ Zellweger heal old wounds. an esteemed English professor named George ing details of the disease. Instead, their con­ a monumental decision while preparing (William Hurt), and has followed in his foot­ centration is on the bond between parent and Kate's dinner is an emotional doozy. steps since she was a young child. Now. she's child, more specifically how little the latter Happy stuff it's not, but neither does One t a career-driven reporter for New York maga­ truly knows about the former. True Thing wallow in somber unpleasantness. zine. and when she travels to her Pennsylva­ Of course, the one-two acting punch of Even with Bette Midler tunes and maudlin AND SAVE; I nia hometown to celehratc George's birthday, Streep and Zellweger only enhances Thing's piano chords dotting the soundtrack, this is she hangs on every word of his somewhat thoughtful, universal focus. Strecp could play one classy tearjerker, gentle and ever so un­ So look for and buy products made I too-harsh criticism of her writing. But Ellen this type of role in her sleep, butt hat docsn 't demanding the way it linally reduces you to from recycled materials And don't for­ I appears to be at a loss when it comes to han­ make her performance any less special you a state of disquieted calm. And though the get to celebrate Amertca Recycles Day I dling the double-whammy that Kate has de­ really see her as this strong. admirable ma­ film might send audiences away questioning on ttovember lSth veloped cancer. and her dad. too busy with ternal v.hirlwind and not some 10-timc Os­ the manner in which they live their lives and It would mean the world to us. F'or a i his job. wants her to leave the city life to help car nominee who deserves another award for inhabit their relationships. it ends on a hope­ fm brochure. calll-800-CA.LL-EOfor out. She rcluctantl)' complies. and begins to her work here. Zellwegcr plays off Strccp's ful. uplifting note. imploring all within car­ see her mother in a whole different light as a sing-songy tones perfectly; her ultimate trans­ shot to cherish those who love you before vtslt our web stte at www edforg result. formation is a heart-breaking one because she they're gone forever. As soon a<; the credit!> The story might sound like fodder for a TV­ makes the loss of this woman she's just be­ hit the screen, there's no doubt that One True ~ movie-of-the-week. but One True Thmg re­ ginning to deeply understand painfully pal­ Thing is the run-home-from-the-theatre-and­ ~!J~EIF '\:g} ally couldn't be further removed from mawk- pable. A sequence where EJJen grapples with hug-your-mom movie of the year......

PAGE22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 13, 1998

• • • • • •

now in theatres I I I Capsule reviews of current nuwies by Victory Marasigan and Jamie Peck. Clay Pigeons(** out of four) The alway~-wel­ come presence of Janeane Garofalo almost saves this banal black comedy about a Montana nogoodnik (Joaquim Phoenix) who finds him­ self implicated in a series of bizarre murder.; and coincidences. Clay Pigeons starts off well enough. but a series ofdistracting plot holes and comrivances eventually tum what once was a wildly unpredictable movie into a wildly con­ voluted mess. It wants to be Fargo. but ends up more likeNogo. (See the October6, 1998 issue ojThe Retriever Weekly for a .full m·iew.) .JP Peeker (***1h) John Waters tidies up his act (well. sort of) for this loopy tale of a young pho­ tographer (Edward Furlong) whose snapshots of his blue-<:Ollar Baltimore hometown win him a TriStar Picture-.. place in the New York art scene. There's Some­ Student Council: Alicia Witt and Jared thing About Mary might have softened the no· Leta are targeted by Legends serial killer. toriously risque director/writer·s low blows, but Peeker and its kooky cast - especially Chris­ tion and graphic violence make it the mos t tina Ricci and Martha Plimpton -still provides deeply affecting film since Schindler's Ust. (See audiences with a fast-paced and pleasantly sunny the July 28, 1998 issue ojThe Retriever Weekly 87-minute ribald riot. (See the September 29, for a full review.) -JP 1998 issue ofTbe Retriever Weekly for a full Simon Birch (**) In Mark Steven Johnson·s review.) -JP loose adaptation of A Prayer for Owen Meany. Ronin (**1/z) It is to Robert De Niro's credit that two 12-year old kids (Ian Michael Smith and he is able to block our view of the derivative Joseph Mazello) learn about life and loss in storyline - about group of mercenaries hired l 964: Smith is the enigmatic title character. a to retrieve a mysterious suitcase somewhere in dwarf who considers himself part of God's mas­ France- on his own for about half an hour be· ter plan. The film's set-up, with fresh-as-lem­ fore we begin to suspect something is afoot. To onade portraits of small-town life, are wonder­ make up for the deficits in character and plot­ ful. but what begins as a humorous look at the ting, director John Frankenheimer throws in boys' friendship develops into a rather muddy some excellent high-speed car chases. which are discourse on faith and identity. (See the Septem­ at least worthy of your local second-run theater"s ber 15. 1998 issue ofTbe Retriever Weeldy f or admission price. (See the October 6, 1998 issue a full reviem ) - VM of The Retriever Weekly for a full re1•ie~t: ) There's Something About Mary (***1/z) All VM sorts of envelope-pushing risque bus iness from Rounders <***> Matt Damon stars as a poke r the creators of Dumb and Dumber and Kingpin. prod g)' who goes straight on!) to be lured back only this time strung together as a sweet roman­ into the game. A great deal of th1s 'harp little tic comedy. Cameron Diaz is the ~ought- a fter drama is ,et in the back rooms of 'f card shark underground. but e\ en for tho-..e who wctrdo-. and one high ~hoot flame (Be., S iller) can't tell fO) aJ and 'traight flushes apart \\ 1ll be \\hose tux\.'do Ztpper got tn the w ~- o :n engrossed. Although the 'to!") is old-hat and the could h:\\c bc..:n a great prom date. \\'mt"ll you charader relationships feel -..trained. oroficient ~cc the hatr gel gag. -JP acting and directing and a ghmpsc 111side an Urban Legend (**1h) Another season. another unfamiliar world give Rounder.\ a winning hand teen-oriented horror flick that glecfull)' deci­ (See tlze September 22. 1998 issue tifThe Re­ mates a read} -for-Tiger Beat cast. This iffy triever Weekly f or a f ull revie11. ) - J P Scream-wannabe disappointingly doesn· t usc its Saving Private Ryan (****) In Ste ven oh-so-promising gimmick - a serial killer slay­ Spielberg·s completely intense WWU epic. Tom ing to the tune of grisly urban legends-to the Hanks leads a squad of men deep into enemy fullest. but it"s sorta fuo in only a way that silly, territory to rescue a soldier who"s lost three slight horror tlicks can be. All the genre staples brothers in combat. The amazing. jarring open­ are in place, from the impossibly attractive cast ing depicts the Omaha Beach invasion. and cer­ to the delirious number of fake scares. (See the tainly does not skimp on the sickening reality October 6, 1998 issue ofThe Retriever Weekly We're Computer of war. Ryan's important story, shattering emo- for a full review.) - JP Renaissance. The new a•Y SELL store with the used computer equipment...... rtters ante call(· 1 OJ 455-1260 Equipment that we buy, anaearn cash sell and trade. Equipment that we recondition to work like new, so when you buy a used computer Hillcrest Clinic from us you're buying one that works as well as the Genuine Help and Understanding first day it was turned on. N /Sleep Sedation And for a lot less money. First & Mid-Trimester Abortion Services This isn't just a neat idea. Pregnancy & Birth Control Counseling It's a neat store. 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I UMBC I I POLITICAL SCIENCE .I INTERNSHIP PROGRAM I I get hands on experience in law or politics and government , an opportunity to meet & work with potential career contacts I all majors welcome - some internships paid I Congratulations to Alex I Legal Intership !, Cameron Due: Noon, Wednesday, November 18, 1998 Slayden! I; Look for their comic strips, Legislative/Political Internship Artichoke Maryland General Assembly: Due: Friday, October 26, 1998 Pi, in Other Position: upcoming Due: Friday, November 20, 1998 issues of The .: Retriever Public Administration Internship Weekly. Due: Friday, December 4, 1998 Thanks to all Applications available at: The Political Science Department 60 1 Administration Building 410-455-2568 PAGE24 Oct. 13, 1998 SPORTS Volleyball Unbeaten Streak Ends Continues With Two Tough Losses

RYAN MORSE third leading scorer, recorded his to Coast Retriever Weekly Sraff Writer ninth point of the year on a penalty kick. Neither team could convert The men's soccer team had its six again until overtime, courtesy of Through game unbeaten streak snapped last goalie Wunk's point blank save at Sunday in a 1-0 loss to Central Con­ 10: 141eft in regulation. It only took necticut and suffered a heartbreak­ the Knights only 59 seconds of over­ NECPlay ing overtime loss to Fairleigh time to score, however, as they took Dickinson Friday at the UMBC Sta­ the lead a very peculiar goal off of CHRIS KERNER dium. The losses moved UMBC's a Retriever defenseman following Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff conference record to 2-2-l and their a comer kick. overall record to 7-4-l. At press time the team had a game The UMBC women's volleyball Last Sunday in Connecticut, with Conference foe Monmouth in team proved their coach's assertion UMBC lost for the ftrst time in six a game which Head Coach Pete that "NEC competition is terrible" games, l-0 to Central Connecticut. Caringi called," an important game once again and the victim on this Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly The game's only occasion was Fairleigh Dickinson. goal came at 65:29 The Retrirvers routed their fourth Strong Effort : Sophomore Joanne Marshall makes diving when James Man­ conference opponent in a row at the attempt to save the ball whHe Lisa Cline lends a helping hand. ning scored for the Fieldhouse on Saturday, 15-1, 15-8 first time in his ca­ and 15-2. This particular match against however. and dominate the rest reer, putting it into Head Coach Catherine Lavery Dickinson only lasted 51 minutes, of the game by scoring 13 of the the right comer of the commented on the NEC after the as UMBC continued its unblem­ next 15 points to take a 2-0 lead net. The Retrievers match, "The teams are so bad that ished record in the conference. The in the match. Game three was outshot Central Con­ we have to worry about getting only reason it lasted the long was a very similar to game one, as the necticut I 0-8 and over-confident heading into the minor lapse by the Retrievers in the team committed few mistakes bad four comer kicks postseason. To keep ourselves mo­ second game when they allowed the and won 15-2. on the day. Freshman tivated, we set time limits on how Dicks to take an early 6-2 lead. "I was happy with the way we goalkeeper. Tom long a game or match should take." UMBC would quickly regroup, See WOMEN, page 26 Wunk had three saves in the losing ef­ fort. Women's Soccer Keeps Pace On Friday night at the UMBC Stadium, the Retrievers suf­ inNEC fered a 2-1 overtime loss to Fairliegh Dickinson, who Eli Zubowski I RelrievcrWcckly Staff JOHN MICHAEL MCCRORY Retriever Wukly SraffWriter leads the conference Going By: UMBC men had their unbeaten streak with a perfect 4-0 snapped by Central Connecicut. UMBC defeated the Monmouth record. The Knights struck first early that the team needs to rebound back Hawks 2-1 in overtime at the in the game by scoring a 1-0 lead to win." After Sunday's game, the UMBC soccer pitch on Sunday. and taking it into the half. UMBC, team hits the road for five straight The victory was 8-5-0 overall and who resides in fifth place in the con- until returning home on October 31 5-l-0 in the Northeast conference. ference standings, responded at for the regular season finale against Junior mid fielder Carly Sosslau 70:30 when Andy Wells, the team's St. Francis ( PA ). scored her second consecutive game-winning goal withjust4:36 remaining in the contest. Sosslau Kevin Gob Leads Swim also recorded a game-winning goal on Friday against the Univer­ sity of Arkansas. On Sunday Team into New Season against Monmouth, Sosslau picked a cross from sophomore Jason Putsche I Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff ANDREW SMULLlAN to join the Retrievers. f?ttriever Weekly Editorial Sraff Erin Lesh and drilled a shot into Hug me!: Women's soccer team congratulates their goalie after a "When I first met with Coach the lower left-hand comer of the superb win. The team has won twice in a row. Burkot, he basically told me to have net from 15 yards out. Senior Starting the 1998-99 Swimming and fun and stay focused on what was im­ Renny Trellis got the play in mo­ Monmouth goalie Lori Houlihan Schilte added, "Fortunately we Diving Season, UMBC has its sights portant," added Gob. tion by passing a long ball up the had a tremendous game, and kept have a deep bench. Anyone com­ set high, especially with Sophomore "I feel I bring leadership to the left sideline to Lesh, who then her team in the game with many ex­ ing off the bench does not drop the Kevin Gob leading the way. team, especially during practice. 1 found Sosslau in the right side of traordinary saves in goaL In the level of play, and they came out and As a highly recruited senior from cheer for the team and try to get them the box. contest, Houlihan had 11 saves, played with a lot of heart as well." Orange Park, Florida, Goh decided to 'psyched' up for the match," Goh Monmouth had the first lead in while Mandy Robins of UMBC Schilte went on to say. "We owe attend UMBC after looking at such said. His goal for the season is to the game when Kelly Wines had five saves and came up with a lot to Michelle Clare who came programs as the University of Florida, have the entire team compete in the scored at 70:20, but Lesh an­ the victory for the Retrievers. off the bench cold. and added some­ Columbia University and the Univer­ ECAC (Eastern Collegiate Athletic swered back for UMBC with just Asked about what was the key thing to our game." sity of Virginia. Conference) finals and to have at least 3: 16 left in regulation. Lesh fol­ to the victory over Monmouth. In the contest, Lesh added a goal "I really like Baltimore. the team. one male and one female compete in lowing a cross from Trellis, who UMBC coach Denise Schilte said, in the victory to raise her total on the school. I like the whole package." the NCAA 2A's finals. fired the pass following a direct "I think heart was the key to today's the season to 12. Prior to last Goh said. Coach Sid Burkot envisions UMBC. in 1996 and 1997. had kick, converting the tying score. game. We came off a big game Sunday's game against Central a succesful team as one that "goes be­ come close to winning the ECAC UMBC was set up for the goal against the University of Arkansas, Connecticut. Lesh was only the yond simple achievement in the pool. championship. The Retrievers fcl1 after Lauren Pachucki was issued and the girls were a little tired, but sixth player in women's soccer his- We sec success as the ability to excel short and placed second to the Uni- 1 yellow card and Monmouth was they had to dig deep and play the in the classroom and in life." It was down a player. way they know how." see SOCCER, page 27 this philosophy that also entised Gob see SWIM. page 27 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS PAGE25

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October 1 9-2 I~ 1 998 10:00 Al\11 - 4:00 PlVI Un.iversi Bookstore Tour of the NEC - Like UMBC, Blue Devils Enter NEC With Thanks to you, all sorts of everyday products are being made from the Plenty of Success CentraiConnectieutState • paper. plastic. metal and glass that Location: New Britain, CT you've been recycling. JOHN MISCHKE this year 's team could be a powerhouse; Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Sophomore Dianne Warner earned first team Enrollment: 12,000 But to keep recycling working to Nickname: Blue Devils all-conference honors and the team had three help protect the environment. you There are a lot of similarities between Cen­ of the six honorees on the aU-newcomer team. Colors: Blue and white tral Connecticut State University, located in The women's tennis team might just be Year joined NEC: 1997 need to buy those products. New Britain, Connecticut, and UMBC. Both Central Connecticut's strongest After win­ Top Sports: Women's basketball, f are medium-sized state institutions without ning two Mid-Continent conference titles in women's soccer, women's tennis, men's BUY RECYCLED. a wealth of shining moments at the Division a row, the squad didn 'l just win the NEC golf s I level. Both have joined the Northeast Con­ championship in their first year - they de­ Shining Moment: Won NEC men's golf. ference in the last two years. And while voured it, sweeping all six singles tlights and women's tennis and women's soccer all three doubles to set a NEC championship tilles in '97 I UMBC has already snagged two NEC titles in a lew shon momhs (women's lacrosse. record for most tournament points earned The Lowdown: State school comparable I men's goll). the Blue Devils of "Central" (54). in si.le and athletic stature to UMBC. hauled in three league champi­ After winning the league title ~~~~~~ E.iu·h ll'l!ekfor the remamder oj tlw senu:ster. The onships in their first year of in their first year. the women's RclficvcrWccklywi/lbu:caminingoneoftlleotller I 'l NEC competition. ~ soccer team continues to have ~,..;,;"::..:in.::..e ::..:.NE::;·C:::..::..:sc,;,;;ho::.::o,;,:;l·'::....· ------1 However. while UMBC has success too. As of last week, the The Blue Devils wother nine 15 games in been in existence for just 32 Blue Devils were in first place three straight seasons before finishing 9-10 years. Central Connecticut ,.•• with an unblemished 4-0 record last year, which the team completed in the was founded in 1849 - the • in NEC play. Mid-Continent first public college or univer- .:_.._,.... ~ Men's golf tasted victory in the NEC Like UMBC, the facilities at Central Con- sity in the state (32 years be­ in their initial year too. but the team was a necticut might be what has kept its teams AND SAVE.- UConn was founded). disappointing third (and 28 strokes behind from achieving greater Located in New Britain, Connecticut, not winner UMBC), despite being the fa- t"~\CVT -~ heights. The line-up in So look for and buy products made far from Hartford, Central Connecticut joined vorite in this year's NEC Champion- ..GY) ..,)'-_ New Britain is very from recycled materials. And don't for­ the NEC in the fall of 1997 after leaving the ship, held two weeks ago. The pro- ~V "'f.».. similar to the one Mid-Continent conference. The Blue Devils gram is undoubtedly the school's ~ '-(f. at UMBC: 4,500- get to celebrate America Recycles Day strongest men's spon. qualifying J seat fieldhouse, won three conference titles last year: in men's Q on November 15th. golf. women's tennts and women's soccer. for NCAA play in 23 of the last r ·" ~ 5,000-seat sta- Those three teams and the women·s bas­ 25 years. The Blue Devils also ..., 2 dium. Just one It would mean the world to us. For a ket hall squad arc the strongest programs at boast alum John Llllott on the ... of the ~ ays free brochure. call 1-800-CALL- EDF or Central Connecticut. Women's haskcthall had PGA Tour. .4. ~ that Central viSit our web site at www.edf orq a stellar lirst year in the NFC. finishing '97- Baseball has also produced a ~ A- Connecticut '98 '' ith a 12-4 conference mark ( 17-10 over­ major-league talent in Ricky ~ ~· seems like almost all), gd enough for second place. Although Boltalico. thl! \Cteran rdicr pitcher 4..J... .,~ a ststcr school to the Lad) Blue De\ ils lost to third-place for the Philadelphia Phillics. ,,...4.)"'~ ~ UMBC. just a fC\\ Wagner 111 the NEC tournament scmillnals. Men's soccer also ha::. a strong record. years older. PAGE26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS October 13, 1998 TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT Women's Team Remains BY CHRIS KERNER Undefeated in Conference Redskins Not Playing to their Ability

"Allen with the carry, first down Wash­ up for the one game they missed by allow­ ington ... uh-oh, wait a minute, Allen was ing both Emmitt Smith and Chris Warren stripped and the Eagles have recovered for to rush for the c-note in the same game. Sure the touchback!" looks like that $57 million has paid off for "Touchdown Leslie Shephard from Trent the 'Skins, doesn't it? Green! ... Cancel that, Michael Westbrook Stubblefield tried to say after the game has just been called for a personal foul. NO against the Cowboys that most of Dallas' TOUCHDOWN!" runs weren't in his direction. I beg to differ. That has been the story of the Washing­ Almost every running play was straight up ton Redskins season so far. They have bur­ the middle, especially in the second half. ied themselves in their own mistakes. It's Besides, when you are getting paid as much like running through a quagmire, being stuck as Stubblefield you should be making some in the mud one minute, and then freeing plays even if the ball doesn't come directly yourself, only to get stuck the next time you at you. And forgetting the mshing plays put your foot down. So who is to blame for where were he and Wilkinson on the pass the first 0-6 Redskin squad since 1961? rush? Okay, so I will admit that the rest of Norv? Gus? Trent? Stubblefield? the Redskins defense is extremely porous, Wilkinson? WelL take your pick. with the exception of Darrell Green, but Most people want to put most of the blame come on. It is time for these two guys to on Turner and de- step up and stop servedly so. It making excuses. would be under­ "If the Redskins had Bill Sure it is unfair to Jeff Jones I Retriever Weekly Staff standable if the Parcells or Jimmy Johnson as make Turner accept 'Skins had no talent all of the blame and Stuffed!: Sophomore Kara Welniak and the Retriever volleyball team made quick and were 0-6. but head coach, this team would be let him lose his job work of their fourth conference opponent in a row, Fairleigh Dickinson. when you have the when it is actually at least 4-2 right now, no matter Marshall chipped in with 10 kills. The loss type of talent from WOMEN, page 22 whom they played. " the players whom halted the team's winning streak at five and Turner possesses play the games. The dropped their overall record to 12-6. there is no excuse bottom line is, how­ went out and didn't commit many errors on "We have had some tough losses against for it. The reason they are 0-6 isn't because ever, that if the Redskins had Bill Parcells our serve. Last week we had some trouble some strong teams. They have definitely they aren't good enough to win a game; it or Jimmy Johnson as head coach, this team with that, but today I thought we played well made us a better team though. It is just dis­ is because Norv cannot motivate his play­ would be at least 4-2 right now, no matter and controlled our mistakes," reflected the appointing to go from that stiff competition ers to win a game. whom they have played. Look at the talent coach. to this [the team's lack of competition against Since Turner's arrival the Redskins have on both the Jets and the Dolphins and you Senior Lisa Cline led the Retrievers with Dickinson]". said Coach Lavery after the been notorious for losing close games. Not will see that the Redskins are more loaded 12 kills while fellow senior Megan match. this year, however, since every game has than either team. McNamara hit an amazing .818 on her nine Volleyball's win over Fairleigh Dickinson been decided by a touchdown or more (ex­ Turner's career as a coach has a lot more kills. Senior LaNae Baker added 25 assists raised their record to 13-6 on the season and cept against the formerly winless Eagles). downs than ups. Is there any explanation for the match. 4-0 in the NEC. Lavery expects her team to Wa~hingtoil has the worst turnover ratio in from the coach why he kept Ron Lynn as Earlier in the week. UMBC traveled to continue their dominance in the conference the league and has been very highly pena1- the defensive coordinator for two years too American University in Washington. D.C.. and finished undefeated. With all of the i.t:ed at the worst possible times. Prior to the long? Or why Stanley Richard is still start­ to take on the 13-4 Eagles. This match was team's success she still does not feel that they Eagles game. the Redskins had commiued ing, let alone in the NFL at a11? I would have the ninth one in which the Retrievers faced have played their best yet. 12 turnovers that had turned into eight fired Turner based on those two decisions the toughest competition Division I women ·s "We have yet to play at the top of our game. touchdowns and one field goa1 for their op­ alone. Since the beginning of this year. how­ volleyball has to offer. UMBC played the We came prelly close against College Park. ponents. They had also managed to give ever, Norv has proven how bad he is so I Eagles tough, but would eventually lose. 15- but we still weren't quite there." away two touchdowns and one field goal don't have to try and explain it anymore. 10, 12-15, 15-6 and 15-6. American's middle When this team does reach that point, by committing penalties on the scoring The Redskins will never be a championship hitter Heather Wintermeyer dominated the whomever they play will have their hands plays. These types of mistakes are definitely team under Turner; he may be a great of­ match with 21 kills and four service aces. Lisa full. The team will hope to continue its un­ ones that the coach can take sole blame for. fensive coordinator, but he is a terrible head Cline's 22 kills and LaNae Baker's 58 as­ defeated conference streak at the Fieldhouse Penalties and turnovers are the things that coach. sists led the Retrievers. Sophomore Joanne next Saturday again~t Robert Morris. Turner can prevent by doing his job as a lt isn' t going to help much that the coach. Redskins have to travel to play the hottest Therefore, as I said after last season, it is team in the NFL in the Minnesota Vikings time for Norv to go. He has had five years next week. The Vikings scored 37 points to rebuild this team and it is no better than against the, then, number one-ranked Pack­ Do you have the right stuff? it was when he first took over. Think about ers defense last week. I fear Washington's it, he has no idea how to stop the bleeding average points per game allowed will rise If you do, it's time to get in the game so he puts Frerrouc in like he is going to be once again. Just picture this, Randy Moss the savior! How about taking a look at the at6'5", who runs the forty in 4.2 seconds, because defense for once. Maybe if they could stop being covered by 5' 10" Darryl Pounds, who somebody Turner wouldn't be fearing for is ailing with a sore knee. Is anyone else The Retriever Weekly needs his job right now. They are currently ranked seeing 0-7? 29th against the run and have allowed a piti­ The bottom line is the Redskins stink. ful 32 points a game. They had given up a Norv Turner needs to go and I don't even sportswriters. I 00-yard rusher in four straight games. com­ want to talk about it anymore. That's it. The ing into Pnilly on Sunday. and they made article's over. What are you still reading for? No experience is neccesary. Earn $10 per story. The Retriever Weekly Call Chris Kerner at x1260 for more is the greatest publication an the entire history of information. Western Civilization. Do it now and start getting yourself Agree with this statement? involved. ~~-- Discuss it 1n umbc org.retriever. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS October 13, 1998 PAGE27 UMBC Hopes for NCAA Finals from SWIM. page 22

versity of Conneticut and to James Madison University in those years. However. with the help of Goh last season. UMBC won the MEN VICTORIOUS IN FIRST MEET on Monday and Tuesday of last week. the ECAC championship and beat a total of 32 OF THE SEASON UMBC women's golf team finished fourth teams w1th a total of 504 points. out of five teams. The team's total or 832 fin­ "It ""ill be tough £O replace the seniors from Sophomore Ke\ 1n Goh and the UMBC ished well behind meet-winner Samt Francis last year. but I think we've done that, and men's swimming team were victorious in (PA). who won with a team total of 741. In­ hopefully added a bit," said Coach Sid Burkot their first meet of the season against Villanova dividually for the Retrievers. freshman Erika last season. on Saturday. Goh led the Retrievers with three Rcinthaler finished tied for sixth with a two With the addition of Goh. the team had first place finishes in the 200- mctcr round total of 184 while sophomore Jcnclle added a competitor who has set three national brcastroke. 200-mcter buttcrfl} and the 400- D'AUesandro took lith place with a 189. time standards during his prep career as well mcter indi\·idual mt:dle)'. Senior Jercm} Freshman Lauren Bratich finished in 12th ac; winning the 400 yard individual medley Sansbury took ftrst place in two events as place with rounds of 96 and 94. with a time of 3:59.91 in last year's finals. well. the 200 and 400-mcter freestyle races. After last season's success Goh, and team­ Other top finishers for the men were Phil MEN'S LACROSSE SPOILS ALUMNI mate Jeremy Sansbury, were sent to the Se­ Boyer. who took first place in the 50-meter RETURN nior Nationals in Minnesota. Kevin Goh is freestyle, and Matt Rausch. who took first in predicted to mak~ major contributions this the 200-meter backstroke. The Retrievers The UMBC men's lacrosse team greeted year in the bunerfly. tbe breaststroke andes­ Champion: Kevin Goh and the Retrievers were also able to take first in the 4x I 00 former stand-outs of the university with a 16- pecially the individual medley as well as were ECAC champions last year. freestyle relay race. UMBC's next meet is 6 beating at the UMBC lacrosse field. In the qualifying for the NCAAs. October 31 against James Madison and Old annual alumni event, the present Retrievers Dominion at our home pool. took this opportunity to warm-up for the The women's did not fair as weiJ as the upcoming Princeton Tournament which will men as they finished second to Villanova in take place next week in New Jersey. UMBC Defeats Monmouth their meet. Leading Retriever swimmers were Head Coach Don Zimmerman com­ Meghan Donovan. \l.hO finished ftrst in the mented on the importance of these contests. 200-meter breastroke. and the 400-meter "The tournament will give us a look at how freestyle relay team (Maskeroni, Kerig, we stack up against college competition. We Miller, Peterson) who also finished first. are only three weeks into our practices though so I can't expect too much.'' WOMEN'S GOLF FINISHES FOURTH The Retrievers will play such teams as Penn State, UPenn, Drexel, Brown and In a match against Northeast competition Princeton in the tournament.

Awards of Up to $1 ,500

THE 1999 PROVOST'S UNDERGRADUATE RESEARCH AWARDS

Jason Putsche I Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Getting Ahead: Lee Custer and the Women's soccer team improved to 5-1 in NEC with their win over Monmouth. play began with a long service to Gerhart from SOCCER. page 24 from sophomore Beth Quintavalle. The game was played on the slick UMBC tory to score in eight straight games. After stadium turf. Overall. Arkansas out shot Awards will be made in the areas of' the game against Monmouth. Lesh said, "Our UMBC 10-7. UMBC sophomore keeper play got a lot bener after we got into the game Kristen Bakia, who replaced Robins midway Arts ... I think we worked well as a team, all to­ through the second half, was credited with Behavioral Scienc~s (Psychology, IFSM, Sociology/ Anthropology) gether and played well together." lhe victory. With the win, the Retrievers Engineering and Computer Science On Friday, UMBC defeated Arkansas by moved to 7-5 on the season. Humanities scoring a goal with just 4:15 remaining to UMBC dropped its ftrst conference game Mathematics and Science notch a non-conference victory over the Lady two Sundays ago, 4-2 against Central Con­ Razorbacks here at UMBC. The winning tally necticut at New Britain, Connecticut. The two Professional Programs came off a shot drilled from 18 yards out into squads looked to be the best in the confer­ Social Sciences (Economics, Geography, History, Political Science) the right hand comer of the net. The game ence. All of the scoring occurred in the first winning tally originated with a Theresa half, beginning at 5:41 when Nicole Brooks AU DEGREE-SEEKING UNDERGRADUATES ARE ENCOURAGED Rosbert comer kick that deflected to junior tallied unassisted. The Retrievers would take forward Sosslau, who then blasted a hard line a 2-l lead later in the half from the foot of TO APPLY drive past the Arkansas goalie. Beth Quintavelle, who was assisted on the Award recipients may receive academic credit for their projects. In the game against Arkansas, the Razor­ play by Lesh. Central Connecticut would backs opened the scoring at 22:57 of the first prove too tough for UMBC, however, as they APPLICATIONS FOR THE 1999-2000 AWARDS ARE AV All:.ABLE THROUGH THE balf as senior Lindsay Waxler took a feed OFFICE OF THE PROVOST (AD l

"Xm>wn>· M" .. , . ,.c·:,:omrCNCll • with just eight minutes remaining before half, saves in goal. as freshman Jamie Gerhart chipped a The Retrievers next game is Saturday ALL APPLICATIONS DUE IN THE PROVOST'S OFFICE misplayed ball in the open Arkansas net. That against Navy at 12 p.m. on the soccer pitch. MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1999 LI I \'l I 3 l ;- ' l-1 I 1_l ;- I I I I ~ 1- LL I I -\_[ L~ l1 For more information, contact Beth Pennington. Office of the Pml'tW: (4 10)455-6865 ~~-""'l't ..._...;it~...:."'-.~1. !ttl~._~ l'-....., :" ''L--'! :'L--'ll.·c~\ c' \I...:'~--' ' ,/\. ,-,,~: 1 llt.'~''ll,'~~ " " \..''--"' --·""'\.._'" 1 "'1~ ..... - "...._-·. ~ I' .... , ... PAGE28 Oct. 13, 1998 CLASSIFIEDS

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