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SCOTTISH WARS OF INDEPENDENCE

Hello and welcome to Homeschool History. I’m Greg Jenner, the historian behind TV’s Horrible Histories and the host of the BBC podcast You’re Dead To Me. I’m here to deliver a snappy history lesson to entertain and educate the whole family. Who says homeschooling can’t be fun? Today, we’re journeying back over 700 years, to find out how was shaped by rebellion... SFX: REBELLING MOB ...Betrayal SFX: SHOCKED GASP and a very determined spider. SFX: VERY HIGH PITCHED VOICE - ‘HELLO’ Today we’re learning about Scotland’s medieval Wars of Independence. During the reign of Scottish king Alexander III, Scotland and got on quite well, apart from the occasional argument about where to put the border. They were like neighbours who got grumpy about the garden fence, but never went as far as kicking each other’s bins over.

Alexander III was a good king, but sadly none of his children lived longer than him, so when he fell off his horse in 1286…

SFX: BODY SLUMP

And died.

SFX: MOURNFUL BELL

Scotland was left with a pretty big problem. Who should rule next? There was only one obvious heir, Alexander’s granddaughter Margaret. But she was only a little girl. And she lived in Norway. AND she was quite poorly. In fact, before she could even make it to Scotland, she sadly died.

SFX: MOURNFUL BELL

Poor Margaret. So now the crown was well and truly up for grabs. Lots of posh people were basically scouring the medieval version of ancestry.com to see if they had a legal claim to the throne.

SFX: ‘I’M 5% SCOTTISH KING!’

Some of the applicants were Scottish,

SFX: SCOTTISH VOICE - ‘HELLO’ some were English

SFX: ENGLISH VOICE - ‘HELLO’

And one, weirdly, was Dutch

SFX: DUTCH VOICE - ‘HALLO!’

Meanwhile, Scotland put together a team of people to run the country called the Guardians of Scotland - a bit like the Guardians of the Galaxy, but with fewer talking raccoons.

SFX: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY THEME

And, much like the Guardians of the Galaxy, they couldn’t agree on much.

So, the Guardians turned to King , for help in choosing the next king.

Sneaky Edward agreed to help, but saw it as an opportunity to control Scotland by controlling whoever he chose. Naughty.

On his shortlist were John Balliol and Robert Bruce who were both related to King Alexander III. In the end, he gave the crown to John Balliol in 1292.

SFX: ALAN SUGAR ‘YOU’RE HIRED’, PERHAPS

But things were about to get nasty.

SFX: UH OH

Edward started pushing his luck by treating Scotland like his own Kingdom. He demanded that Scottish troops join England in a war against France, but Scotland was like “um, nope!”. Instead, they teamed up with France against the English.

SFX: HA! HA!

Edward had a massive strop and, in 1296, he invaded Scotland,

SFX: BATTLE NOISE

He captured the castle of Dunbar, and took loads of Scottish Lords prisoner. He even captured the sacred Stone of Scone, on which all Scottish kings were ceremonially crowned. It was a disaster for Scotland, and King John Balliol quickly surrendered.

SFX: I SURRENDER

Edward booted King John off the throne and, allegedly, even threw the Scottish crown in the mud to show his disrespect!

SFX: MUD SPLAT!

Not very neighbourly...

Edward was now in charge, but soon discovered the Scots didn’t want him. Some Scots decided to rebel, including and Andrew Murray.

SFX: CLIP OF ANDY MURRAY: “I’m Andy Murray”

No, not that Andrew Murray. They weren't tennis players, they were Scottish rebels fighting back against the English invaders!

SFX: CHARGE!

Using cunning battle tactics, the rebels beat the much-bigger English army at Stirling Bridge, leaving the English shocked and humiliated, not least because part of the cunning tactics included hiding in the trees like a sneaky squirrel

SFX: HIGH PITCH ‘Tee hee hee hee’

And why were they waiting in the trees? Well they were waiting for the English to cross the bridge, and the clever thing was, they waited for half of the troops to get across before racing out to attack them, leaving half of the English army on the wrong side of the river unable to do anything useful. In fact, a lot of the English were stuck on the bridge, and I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to fight a battle on a bridge, but it’s very narrow, and a bit wobbly, and you tend to just fall in the water

SFX: SPLOSH!

One of the English knights who survived the battle had one of the best names from history - he was called Sir Marmaduke Thweng! What a fantastic name!

SFX: DING!

Stirling Bridge was a huge victory for Scotland, but Andrew Murray was sadly killed in battle, leaving William Wallace in charge of the rebels.

Next came the Battle of . This time, Wallace’s tactics were a bit rubbish. He tightly packed his soldiers together with their spears pointing up like a giant, deadly hedgehog. A good idea to stop the English cavalry charge, but not a good idea against English archers who just showered them from afar with lethal arrows. Ouch!

SFX: ARROW FLIES

William Wallace was beaten, and like any ferocious rebel leader - he ran away and hid.

SFX: RUNNING AWAY

No one could find him for ages! It was like a massive Where’s Wally, and he wasn’t even wearing a stripy red t-shirt.

Anyway, remember King John Balliol from before?

SFX: HELLO!

He’d been imprisoned in France, and eventually William Wallace showed up to try and get him out, and back on the Scottish throne. But not everyone fighting for Scottish independence wanted King John back.

One guy in particular reckoned he should be King instead. His name was Robert Bruce - a bit confusing because his dad was also called Robert Bruce and his grandfather was also called Robert Bruce in fact, quite a lot of Robert Bruces so we call him because he was going to become quite important in the story. Hmm, nice name, maybe I should start calling myself Greg THE Jenner. No? Oh, suit yourself.

Robert the Bruce was a clever politician who’d kept bouncing between supporting the English King Edward…

SFX: SWANEE WHISTLE UP

...and supporting the Scottish rebels.

SFX: SWANEE WHISTLE DOWN

He was up and down like a political yo-yo.

SFX: SWANEE WHISTLE UP AND DOWN REPEATEDLY

Meanwhile, the ongoing wars were up and down for both sides too

SFX: SCOTTISH VOICE “I’M WINNING” ENGLISH VOICE “NO I’M WINNING”

Even after William Wallace returned from France, no one was really winning.

SFX: WEARY SIGH

In 1303, England and France made peace; bad news for Scotland which relied on French support. Some of the Scottish Lords began to panic, and Edward responded by offering them rewards if they surrendered… Robert the Bruce was one of those to accept the deal.

SFX: SWANEE WHISTLE UP

But William Wallace definitely wasn’t invited to Edward’s forgiveness party.

SFX: NEGATIVE GAMESHOW KLAXON

In 1305, Wallace was captured by some of his fellow Scottish lords and handed over to King Edward. He was taken to London, executed horribly, and his body was chopped up and his arms and legs were sent to different parts of Scotland, as a warning. That’s not a very nice parcel to get in the post, is it?

SFX: *DING DONG*, YUCK!

With William Wallace dead, Edward thought he’d crushed the rebellion, but he was very wrong indeed. You see, human yo-yo Robert the Bruce decided he didn’t like King Edward anymore, he’d changed his mind.

SFX: SWANEE WHISTLE DOWN

And teamed up with a guy called John Comyn to overthrow him. Unfortunately, their friendship was super tense - they both wanted to be king - and, when Edward found out about the plot, Robert accused John Comyn of betraying him. They got it in a big old row, and Robert killed John.

SFX: STABBY SCREAM

This was a huge scandal - not only had Robert the Bruce killed a fellow Scot, but he’d done it in a sacred church! Double sin!

SFX: GASP!

Robert ran off to Glasgow, and found a bishop to officially forgive him for doing a church-murder. He then got himself crowned King Robert I of Scotland. Fancy!

SFX: HAPPY FANFARE

But Edward wasn’t taking this lying down. He came after him hard. Robert was defeated in battle, his family were killed, and he had to run away and hide...

According to romantic legend, Robert now hid in a cave where he was soon transformed into Spider-Man...

GRAMS: THE OLD SPIDERMAN THEME

No, not like that. He wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider. And nor did he get any super powers. He just saw one trying over and over again to spin a web, and never giving up, so that inspired him to keep fighting.

In 1307, Robert returned to Scotland with troops from…er... Ireland.

SFX: IRISH VOICE “HELLO!”

Robert then had a massive stroke of luck, because King Edward of England was so old, he died.

SFX: MOURNFUL BELL

This left Edward’s son, Edward II, in charge. But he was considered a weak and disappointing sequel.

SFX: GROAN

Robert used his army and more clever tactics to boot the English out of Scotland. They even disguised some soldiers as cows, in order to sneak up on Castle at night!

SFX: SCOTTISH MOO

Um, did that cow have a Scottish accent?

Edward II tried to defeat Robert at the in 1314, but he lost.

SFX: LOSER!

It seemed like nothing could stop Robert the Bruce, so he just kept heading South - burning crops and stealing stuff as he went - including cows, presumably for more fancy dress options when capturing castles.

SFX: MOO!

The Scottish army made it all the way to North Yorkshire! But stubborn Edward II still refused to recognise Robert as rightful King of Scotland.

Now, things were going well for Robert the Bruce but all this warring got Robert the Bruce in trouble with the Pope, who was the head of the Church. Robert was excommunicated, which was the worst punishment you could get without being executed.

But in 1320, Robert’s supporters sent the Pope a famous letter called The which said that Scotland was its own country, with its own King, England was a massive bully, and Robert the Bruce should be allowed back into the Church’s protection. The Pope agreed… eventually.

A long truce was agreed between Scotland and England which was meant to last until 1336, but - spoiler alert! - it didn’t

SFX: UH OH!

Yes, arguments about who should rule Scotland persisted even after both Edward II and Robert the Bruce had died.

But that’s a story for another day. We just don’t have time!

SFX: AWW

For now, it’s time for the quiz!

We have 5 questions…

QUIZ

You ready? Go!

1. In 1286, which Scottish King fell off his horse and died leaving Scotland with no- one in charge? 2. Which English King did the Scottish Guardians ask to help pick their next ruler? 3. Which Scottish rebel won a battle at Stirling Bridge, but lost at Falkirk, and went into hiding? 4. According to legend, which little cave-dwelling creature inspired Robert the Bruce to never give up? 5. Robert the Bruce sent a letter called The Declaration of Arbroath to which really important person? Now it’s time for the answers…

1. In 1286, which Scottish King fell off his horse and died leaving Scotland with no- one in charge? ALEXANDER III 2. Which English King did the Scottish Guardians ask to help pick their next ruler? EDWARD I 3. Which Scottish rebel won a battle at Stirling Bridge, but lost at Falkirk, and went into hiding? WILLIAM WALLACE 4. According to legend, which little cave-dwelling creature inspired Robert the Bruce to never give up? A SPIDER 5. Robert the Bruce sent a letter called The Declaration of Arbroath to which really important person? THE POPE

OUTRO

How did you do? If you didn’t get all five, why not listen to another episode from series one or two. Hopefully you’re a Scottish Wars of Independence swot.

Tune in next time for some more homeschool history. And make sure to subscribe to the podcast on BBC Sounds so you never miss an episode. Thanks for listening, take care, and goodbye!

HomeSchool History was a production by The Athletic for BBC Radio Four and BBC Sounds. The script writers were Gabby Hutchinson Crouch, Emma Nagouse and me. The Research Assistant was Hannah MacKenzie. The producer was Abi Paterson and the historical advisor was Dr Iain MacInnes, of the University of the Highlands and Islands.