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117JULY 2009 00117 9 771025 104042 Happy snaps: See how the Ponzi loot was spent What’s Investec hiding now? The versatile Dr Ambrosini Esq noseweek online JULY2009 ISSUE117 COVER STORY: Trying to Get access to the forget noseweek archive of Barry saints, sinners and page 19 rogues 4 Letters ANC’s mother of all spin Buy noseweek’s online 6 Dear Reader Same old same old Investec 7 Mr Nose The old stick gets fit for print edition for only 8 What’s Investec hiding? The bank is suing two of its chairman’s friends for non-repayment of a loan, but, mysteriously, they are using a frontman R278 14 Bad cop, no-good cop Movie scene erupts into real-life car chase and dramatic arrest Wherever you want 16 Notes and updates Cipro faces massive claim from sacked ‘whistleblower’ n Mystery man picks up Bredenkamp’s fag ends n Saga of tax guru’s onshore it....whenever you haven continues

17 Consumer gripes Standard Bank squeezes pensioner want it

18 Advocate Semenya’s interesting friendships The odd facts lurking behind the silk’s resignation as chairman of the Johannesburg Bar Council

22 The oily MP who is God’s gift to Mangosuthu Buthelezi Of constitutional law, SARS and paraffin stoves

24 Mozambique’s sugar rush A land war threatens to undermine our neighbour’s hard-won democracy

30 Book review Bubble? What bubble?

All a Bad Dream Storm over allegations of fraudulent invoices www. 31 noseweek.co.za 32 BEE: Who assesses the assessors? The empowerment business appears to be designed to sow confusion

33 All in the mind Patent weaknesses: test before you litigate

34 Backbite Reviewer accused of dark motives

36 Web Dreams Is there life after Google?

37 Last Word Shiraz shambles

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Letters

noseweek grew by 16.9%. against those who did not regulations and it falls Skin deep the registered owner of the had made attempts to es- The simple forms should Mother of all spin trade mark The Apartheid tablish a museum. If you’re take you no more than 10 So the mother of all spin, Carl? You don’t kick a dog do it as well. The parties within the parameters of an In 1988 Twin Products, un- when he’s down. – Ed. now embroiled knew full approved building plan. der the legal representation Museum. I sued for infringe- suggesting that a judge minutes to complete. – Ed. Jessie Duarte, otherwise “ ment. who has previously acted known as the “National well that this kind of ongo- The concern raised by of attorney Owen Salmon Those who live by the law... ing battle was grist to the neighbours is that the design (then of John & Kernick), A company called The for – and made some serious Land Bank Spokesperson for the ANC” South African Apartheid money from – one of the par- As an environmentalist tired appears to be reading your Schadenfreude may be de- Lazerson mill. While they of the building is such that assisted by advocate Brian fined as “largely unanticipat- might claim they were not the building can easily be Southwood, overcame an at- Museum at Freedom Park, ties to a case he is hearing of the indiscriminate devel- great magazine! (What’s registered with Cipro on should recuse himself, I tend opment of every open space the latest on her predessor, ed delight in the suffering of part of it, they nevertheless utilised as a number of flats tempt to register a company another, which is cognized gave him home comforts – and the owner is market- called Hollywood Curl. 14 August 2001, then ap- to agree. In an age where in our city, I’m concerned great struggle hero and ex plied for expungement of we have judges on private about the proliferation of spin doctor, Carl Niehaus?) as trivial and/or appropri- well knowing that how he ing and selling it as a share Twin Products was owned block scheme where different by the brothers Abraham my trade mark. Deponent monthly retainers, however, billboards by the company Lettersinvestors may buy portions and Solomon Krok, who to that sworn affidavit was this will probably be seen Abalengani. On almost every (m²) of the building. [But] held legal right to the trade one Richard Moloko, CEO of as a somewhat quaint no- Sandton property they are So the mother of all spin, Jessie Duarte, appears as long as the utilisation mark “Hollywood”, which Gold Reef. It goes without tion. As for the Krok twins selling – on Sandton Drive, remains that of a single was used in the marketing saying that I did not give sponsoring a museum which Main Road and William residential building, the City of skin-whitening creams Abe and Solly Krok permis- commemorates the horrors Nicol Drive – there’s a bill- to be reading your great magazine! cannot dictate the method of (laced with hydroquinone) sion to use my trade mark, of apartheid, the absurdity board describing it as having ownership. to black people: the implied which was still of full force is self-evident. – Ed. been “Landbanked”. ate”. This best expresses my applied his trade deprived An application for a depar- pitch (whiter is better) was and effect on the register. A government-owned Keep up the good work and To my total surprise they Cipro: an ANC cash cow keep stirring the ANC pot. response on reading your many others of the same ture to permit a guest house psychologically disfigur- article on Ivor Lazerson and happinesses. Would they like has been applied for and the ing, while the product itself succeeded in the expunge- I have often wondered: Brian A ment of my trade mark. might Cipro’s function not Johannesburg his will (nose116). my condolences? I generous- City is currently processing left many disfigured, with I am one of those who ly offer 10 times, no – 1000 this application. grotesquely scarred faces. It Moloko, under oath, boldly be more economically and Everybody who’s anybody in asserted that the entity that efficiently performed by SA now reads noseweek. paid handsomely (and I times – what they offered The purpose of the July is hard to imagine a better “ don’t mean just money) for those of us who contributed 2008 letter to the developer symbol for apartheid South Abraham and Solomon had SARS? According to the Audit meeting this example of unwillingly to his retirement was precautionary: to define Africa’s white supremacist embraced “is entitled to use My companies only pay Bureau of Circulation (ABC) its company name” – The R250 p.a. to Cipro, but the report for the first quar- mankind. Not that I was fund, and the estate they’re and place on record the ac- thesis. The Supreme Court reserved special treatment fighting over. ceptable status quo for this of Appeal fully agreed with Apartheid Museum. accountants charge R1000 ter of this year, of all the Counsel for Abe and Solly to complete the Cipro re- magazines published in SA, – he really was an equal- I wonder how anyone office, so leaving as little Messrs Krok, Salmon and opportunity kind of guy. could ever measure the on- leeway as possible for the de- Southwood. Krok’s company in the mat- turns. Just more red tape to noseweek showed the highest ter was none other than hinder the businessman. percentage growth in circula- The ongoing problems you going sadness he caused? veloper to deviate from what In 1990 I registered the describe are just a prolonga- “As the wheel turns...”, “live this department considers trademark The Apartheid advocate Owen Salmon. My Your article in nose114 tion (compared to the first trade mark was expunged in about that Valor IT tender quarter of last year). Most tion of the misery he caused by the sword...”, “what goes acceptable. Museum. In 2000 I finally by applying his ability with, around...” – a thousand simi- Marius Crous secured confirmation from the court of the Honorable makes Cipro’s dual purpose magazine circulations de- Mr Justice Brian South- clear: to provide lucrative clined – the FM’s by 12.7%; and knowledge of, the law lar clichés apply. I believe Acting Director: Planning and Bloemfontein municipality that many others will also Building Development that my museum would be wood. employment for comrades, institution with a develop- experience schadenfreude at Management, erected in that city. Mike Stainbank and to facilitate cash flows ment mandate, I thought the Gus this turn of events. City of Cape Town To my surprise, in No- The Apartheid Museum (Pty) to the ANC. Land Bank’s money was for NBG Your apparent reluctance to vember 2001, Gold Reef, the Ltd Ian Hurst developing rural/agricultur- Brackendowns enforce the regulations – in casino company, gathered Rivonia Groot Drakenstein al land for upliftment, not effect, to do the job you are South African media and I understand that a judge Your assessment is prob- for speculation in premium Tall stories paid to do – is both disap- told them how Abraham and has a discretion to cancel a ably right on the latter two urban land. In nose114 (“Building tall pointing and puzzling. Your Solomon Krok, in a mo- trade mark which has not scores – but why should I would appreciate it if we in Gordon’s Bay”) you claim woolly language – “param- ment of deep reflection on been used and that, in the that change under SARS’ could get an answer from that Straightprops 95, the eters”, “method of owner- the suffering of oppressed case of the Apartheid Muse- administration? As for your the Land Bank and Abalen- developers of 177 Beach ship”, “leeway to deviate”, black people had embraced um, Judge Southwood exer- accountants’ charge for fill- gani on this. Road, Bikini Beach, “have “acceptable status quo” – is the idea of “The Apartheid cised his discretion against ing in those returns: that’s Keryn House made various unauthor- disingenuous. Museum”. But I was already you, despite the fact that you just another rip-off. Sandton ised deviations from their By contrast, the letter ad- approved three-floor single dressed by your department dwelling building. The new to the developer in July 2008 building already has four was absolutely clear. It read: floors (including the base- “During the inspection it Your Complete ment parking level) and came to our attention that a fifth is currently under you are deviating from the Software Solution construction – despite warn- approved plan ... This is an Trust Accounting Electronic Instructions ings from the City’s director offence in terms of the Na- Property Transfers Case Management of planning and building tional Building Regulations.” Bond Registrations Client Billing development management.” It is as clear the developer Debt Collection Diary System “”Making computers work for you This is not so. The devel- does not intend the building Litigation Time Management opment is well within the to be a single-family dwell- 0 8 61 71115 0 Bills of Cost Management Reports For a free demonstration. height parameters applica- ing. Now get yourself some Trade Marks Admin Orders www.legalsuite.co.za ble in terms of the zoning balls and do your job. – Ed.

4 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 5 DearReaderDearLettersDear Reader Reader Editor Martin Welz [email protected] Mr Nose Production editor puts it about Tony Pinchuck Same old, same old Investec Assistant editor Hans Muhlberg Gauteng bureau chief n April last year (nose102) we told you how The pension funds took the R700m. The Jack Lundin Investec Employee Benefits (IEB) ripped case has by now cost them an estimated The old stick gets fit for print [email protected] off 14 industrial pension funds whose funds R70m in fees to lawyers, forensic auditors News editor it had administered – and plundered – for and other experts. And each year that ticks Mark Thomas a decade or more. When, in 2004, the funds by thousands more of their members go on n Jozi, Mr Nose has recently recommended personal trainer Alvis thrown in for [email protected] wereI finally driven to issue summons against pension. been hunting for a new R225 a session. And if Mr Nose were a member Censor-in-chief Investec, they sued for losses that then totalled Investec has once more made a killing, in gym. For the past few of Discovery’s Vitality, after the initial three Len Ashton nearly R1.5bn. Five years later the lawyers every sense of the word. Which is maybe why years the game old stick months he could make a one-off payment Sub-editor were still slugging it out about technicalities, a scandalously cheap settlement wasn't all has been trotting along of R850 and use the gym free for life. Chas Unwin with no progress to report, other than that the Investec wanted. Next day the bank started thrice-weeklyI for sessions at Since the only gamble concerns Cartoons funds’ had run up a legal bill of over R50m. three weeks of negotiations to extract confi- the Gallo Manor private which of us has the longer life ex- Myke Ashley-Cooper, Gus Ferguson, Keeping them at it was Investec’s best offer dentiality agreements from each of the pen- gym of master trainer pectancy, it was no use dithering Meg Jordi, Stacey Stent for settlement: 10% of the original amount sion funds and their lawyers. The only thing Justin Egling. around. Mr Nose has decided to Cover art claimed – with no interest. Investec worries about these days is how to The other week, how- give Planet Fitness Rivonia a go, Dr Jack Then, early this year, the trade union alli- keep its dirty work secret. (See page 8 for the ever, Egling announced despite his qualms about future Contributors ance, Fedusa (to which most of the fund mem- latest shady Investec case.) that, after 16 years as encounters with its rude reception- Mandy de Waal, Marike Roth, Harold bers belong) persuaded the international Oh, the settlement agreement with the a personal trainer, he’d ist ... and a lingering anxiety about Strachan, Adam Welz union movement to pass a resolution in soli- pension funds also gave Investec 35 working had enough. He’s clos- Discovery’s long-term vitality. Subscriptions darity with their South African colleagues: it days to pay the settlement amount – just in ing his gym with imme- Maud Petersen announced that it would not invest in projects case a letter got lost in the post, you under- diate effect to pursue an Justin Egling [email protected] or businesses involving Investec. stand. The bank paid on 25 May – the 35th unlikely new career as a Advertising In March Investec invited the 14 build- working day after the deal was signed. They “falsetto” pop singer. Adrienne de Jongh ing and electrical industry pension funds to are so predictable. Did you ever doubt that Finding a new gym – and Accounts settlement talks at the Melrose Arch hotel. Investec would hang on to every filthy cent a new personal trainer – is Nicci Joubert-van Doesburgh There to receive them was IEB director Ci- until the very last minute? no easy task. Despite his leery aran Whelan, as confidently ruthless as ever, In these circumstances we can do no bet- impression of Richard Bran- Stent Copyright All material in this issue is copy- son, Mr Nose dropped in at right, and belongs to Chaucer Publications plus two men said to represent Lloyds, and ter than repeat the editorial we published in (Pty) Ltd, unless otherwise ­indicated. No part half a dozen anonymous men representing April last year: Virgin Active’s Old Eds and of the material may be quoted, photocopied, “other interested insurance entities”. Whelan heard all about their one-year reproduced or be stored by any electronic did all the talking, while the shadowy insur- INVESTEC’S IMMORAL EARNINGS contracts (R419/month) and system without prior ­written permission. two-year contracts (R399/ Disclaimer While every reasonable effort is ers hovered silently in the background. South African banks, we have said before, taken to ensure the accuracy and sound- Each of the pension fund representatives are equally venal – and much of a muchness month). Try cancelling the ness of the contents of this ­publication, was presented with a sealed envelope con- when it comes to run-of-the-mill banking. But debit order and you’re dead. neither the authors nor the publisher will taining a separate settlement offer from In- there is one that, despite its pretensions to aes- Personal trainer: an addition- bear any responsibility for the consequences al R250 a session. of any actions based on information con- vestec. Fund trustees almost immediately thetic and intellectual superiority, is so mor- tained. Printed and Published by Chaucer decided that they would form a unified front ally reprehensible – a bank that has so ruth- On to Planet Fitness in ­Publications (Pty) Ltd. and no-one would settle separately on terms lessly extorted indecently huge returns for Rivonia. Mr Nose admits to differing from those offered to anyone else. itself – that we would suggest that no right- judging organisations on first Investec's first “all-in” offer totalled R380m. minded person should do business with it. impressions – inevitably the This was fairly soon upped to R500m. When The ruthless pursuit of profit has always receptionist. At Planet Fitness that, too, was emphatically rejected, a final been the hallmark of the famous Investec tri- he came face to face with an “walk-away” offer was made: R700m. Take umvirate: Stephen Koseff, Hugh Herman and unsmiling, abrupt old trouper SUBSCRIPTION RATES that, announced Investec's hired Irish thug David Nurek. It’s always had an ugly edge to reminiscent of a Soviet prison Print shamelessly, or face another seven years pay- it. Koseff's longstanding business relationship guard. At his age, Mr Nose SA only R336 ing lawyers more tens of millions while we with Brett Kebble, and the skill with which may look like an unlikely can- Neighbouring states ­(airmail) R446 drag you once again from high court, to ap- he exploited his insider knowledge of Kebble’s didate for the treadmill, but Europe, Americas and Australasia R530 peal court, back to high court, back to appeal criminal dealings in effect to extort (secretly) does that justify such rude Internet edition court and on to the Constitutional Court. (In- an extraordinary and hugely profitable deal uninterest? The day was saved by the 1 year R278 vestec, of course, still has lots of pensioners’ out of JCI and Randgold’s patently criminal arrival of Sam, a polite and Combined money to spend on lawyers.) Whelan did not directors, at the expense of their other creditors, leaves him tainted with the smell of criminal- neatly clad employee who im- Print+Internet (SA only) R468 add, although he may as well have, that by the time they reach the Constitutional Court ity. (See nose90: “Thieves and bankers”.) mediately took Mr Nose under To subscribe in a few years' time, the chances are they'll Any trustee that invests trust or pension his wing. No nonsense about By post: Send cheque with name, find the dishonourable Mr Hlophe, and five of funds with Investec is irresponsible; why any- contracts and debit orders, address and ­phone no. to: noseweek, Sam could offer a “special” – PO Box 44538, Claremont 7735. his best friends, ensconced there. And we all one who buys into an Investec pension scheme know what Mr Hlophe’s attitude is when it is a fool. What of investing in Investec shares? free membership of Planet Via Internet (pay by credit card): Fitness for three months with www.noseweek.co.za comes to looking after the interests of major You will be known by the friends you keep. financial institutions. The Editor unlimited access, plus his For further information call (021) 686 0570; fax 021 686 0573 or email [email protected] noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 7 Pic: Avusa

indeed it is – he’s now in London with “So in the 1990s Investec private bank wealth manage- we had this five-way ment. partnership, which What’s Investec hiding? When noseweek applied to see the was very creative and case file, there was only an empty very successful. The cover – the contents had been “uplifted”. partnership operated By whom? “Not I,” said Investec’s at- as Newport Property torney Steve Levetan, of Edward Nath- Group, although each an Sonnenbergs. “We uplifted the file project was a separate ome of Investec plc chairman Hugh twice, the second time earlier this year. joint venture, with Herman’s Cape Town friends But we again returned it to room 1,” different partners. and business associates are said Tolly Novick’s attorney Francois Investec were the Victoria Junction not happy with his bank. For Pienaar, of Delport Ward & Pienaar. main financiers,” ten years they haven’t repaid Eventually noseweek received a terse continues Fife. InvestecS R4.5m outstanding on a loan message from Mrs David, chief regis- The Partnership Nielsen took 40% and Hugh Herman for a property development. For five trar at the Cape High Court. The file acquired the old Trust Bank tower 15%. Herman signed as surety on 15 years the bank held off – interest free The bank is had been found, she now had it and we block at the bottom of Adderley Street, December 1995, making himself liable – possibly out of consideration for its could not examine it. Under high court and with finance from Investec Bank for 15% of the R9.5m loan. The liabil- chairman Hugh’s connection. By now rule 62(7), declared Mrs David , a file is created there the present Absa Centre. ity as sureties of all the others was also the debt has probably doubled (with suing four of not in the public domain until the mat- Fife wasn’t involved in that one, but limited in line with their slice of the interest) and the bank is suing, friends ter has been called in open court (see the bank’s chairman, Hugh Herman, action. Fife withdrew from the project or no. box). took a personal slice of the action. at an early stage and his 5% stake was But, perhaps still sensitive to Hugh its chairman’s Is she hiding the file at the request Investec Bank also funded The Part- taken up by Resnekov & Nielsen. Herman’s position, the bank is not of one of the parties – Investec, to be nership’s developments at Hiddingh Hiddingh Village was not a success suing in its own name. specific? “I should not even be talking Village, Picbel Parkade, Dunkley and Investec wanted its loan repaid. Why the astonishing secrecy sur- friends for non- to you about this, so I won’t answer House and the biggest and most ambi- Hugh Herman had no problem settling rounding the case? Are Investec using any more of your questions. You have tious of all, the Victoria Junction hotel his 15% surety share. But the Chaits a frontman to sue simply to keep nosey to leave now,” was the chief registrar’s complex on Somerset Road. As well as were cash-strapped at the time, so journalists away from a routine trial? repayment reply. Absa Centre, Herman took personal Herman and the builders Resnekov & Or is it that Investec would prefer the Why all the secrecy? How come In- stakes in Hiddingh Village and Picbel Nielsen bailed them out and Investec’s public not to know why Hugh Her- of a loan, but vestec’s chairman Hugh Herman got Parkade. For the latter development loan was repaid in full. “We bankrolled man’s one-time property development them because they were partners,” partners haven’t bothered to pay their says R&N’s Gerald Phillips. “We didn’t debt? mysteriously sequestrate anybody. We said ‘fine, we’ll For years Investec bank was the main carry the debt until such time as you financier for a series of ground-breaking Could that be the same Robert can pay’ and at the end of the day they property developments in Cape Town by they are using a paid back out of other developments an entity known simply as The Partner- Gottlieb who headed Investec’s where they’d made some money.” ship. Then chairman of the bank, Hugh When Hugh Herman signed as sure- Herman took a personal stake in some frontman to do Cape property finance division until ty for Hiddingh Village in December of the partners’ ventures – but things 1995 The Partnership’s most ambitious apparently turned sour when, in a late- project, a mixed development at Victo- 90s economic downturn, Investec seized the dirt he was shunted off after high jinks ria Junction, was already under way. one of the few valuable assets the part- But by 1998, when interest rates hit ners had left, and sold it for a song, with his secretary? 25%, the venture foundered. leading to the R4.5m shortfall. And to Investec had put around R32m into the claim against members of The Part- Investec chairman Hugh Herman Victoria Junction (no personal stake nership – Tolly Novick, Geoff Chait and involved with The Partnership? Was Picbel Parkade Shareblock Pty Ltd from the chairman in this one) and Chait’s sons Stuart and Anton. Andrew Fraser, the administrative Investec’s generosity when it poured was formed in 1996, and its sharehold- some R30m was owing when the bank clerk in room 1 at the high court, where out all those millions to fund their ers included Stuart Chait and Hugh pulled the rug. Most of the sectional Stuart Chait and Melrose Arch all case files are kept, told noseweek grand developments over the years the Herman. titles units by this time had been sold, there was no case involving Investec on result of the chairman’s private stakes In 1994 a company called Laughing but Investec held the mortgage bond the roll for 2 December. When pressed, in some of them? Brook Properties was formed, with on the anchor tenant, the hotel which however, he said his computer listed a Our story starts in the 1990s, when Herman and Geoff Chait among its was leased to the Protea group. Invest- case – 14194/2006 – in which a Chait Cape Town property developer Ian Fife shareholders. For Hiddingh Village, a ec Bank seized the hotel, which they was a defendant. But the plaintiff was (now property editor of the Financial residential complex plus hotel next to sold to Protea for R25m. This left the not Investec, it was one Robert Gott- Mail – see box on pg11) was joined at Cape Town’s Gardens Centre shopping present debt of R4.5m outstanding. lieb. his Newport Real Estate company by complex, Investec Bank put up a R9.5m For Investec to let the hotel go for Robert Gottlieb? Could that be two young brothers, Stuart and Anton loan, which it channelled through the R25m enraged Tolly Novick, for one. In noseweek’s old friend who was head of Chait. “It was very soon quite clear that Penthouse Bond Trust. All five mem- 1997 The Partnership had been negoti- Investec’s Cape property finance divi- Stuart had exceptional deal-making bers of The Partnership were initially ating with a Malaysian consortium at sion until 2002, when he was shunted abilities,” recalls Fife. Before long, the involved in this venture. R92m, and a couple of years ago Protea off to the Geneva office after high jinks Chaits’ father Geoff and his business The Partnership held a 45% stake; a sold out to the listed Hospitality Prop- with his secretary (noses41&74)? Yes, partner Tolly Novick joined them. consortium from builders Resnekov & erty Fund for R105m. Pic: Robert Tshabalala/Avusa RobertPic:

8 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 9 Tolly Novick at the Oasis

was full-time and he sat Noseweek explains the mystery of the division head at Investec Bank, has no proceedings, we are unfortunately on certain management missing court file and Herman – who information for us at all. After many prohibited from responding to your forums. He was included comes across as oily and condescend- attempts to speak to him noseweek questions, as I am sure you under- in various management ing, offering an impression of helpful- receives an email from Ciaran Whe- stand.” incentive and share own- ness while revealing as little as possi- lan (see nose102) in the bank’s group Despite Herman’s distancing him- ership schemes. Howev- ble – says this is no problem. Just call risk department: “We recommend that self from the pending trial (“I’m not er, since 2005 Hugh has Julian Leibman in our Cape Town of- you contact the court registrar to se- really familiar with the details…”) distanced himself from fice – “he has all the information”. cure access to the file,” says Whelan. Investec’s attorney at Edward Nath- executive responsibili- But Leibman, Cape property finance “As the matter is the subject of court an Sonnenbergs, Steve Levetan, tells ties.” Commenting on the balance of the Victoria

Pic: Hetty Zantman. © Financial Mail © Financial HettyPic: Zantman. Junction debt, 68-year- old Herman says: “The Scribbling all the way to the bank Chaits were involved in that development. When t was at a dinner in Cape Town that property devel- And on 22 July 2005 he assured his FM readers: they didn’t make pay- oper Ian Fife told Alison Goldberg, then property “The steady improvements mark the early phases of ment I think some agree- Iwriter on the Financial Mail, how much he loved a renaissance that developers and city leaders hope ment was entered into. writing and how he would like to help her out by will restore Johannesburg’s status as the grandest The amount that was due freelancing for the FM on property matters. Good city centre in sub-Saharan Africa.” Pic: Avusa was about R4.5m. They idea! thought Alison. By 1997 Fife had sold his inter- As for Stuart Chait, Ian's former protégé in his didn’t pay and Investec est in Newport Property Group to long-time partner Cape Town developer days – noseweek has traced has instituted proceed- Geoff Chait and relocated to Jozi to scribble for the no fewer than 35 plugs by Ian Fife in the FM for the ‘Anything to do with banks ings against them. FM at its then princely rate of R1 a word. 41-year-old wonderkid. Be that as it may, the partnership “They were given an interest-free pe- But now the question is: did Fife have a hidden “Chait is an experienced mixed-use developer. is in the public interest’ still owed Investec Bank R4.5m. But riod to pay the balance. I think it was agenda when he bailed out of Cape Town just before He cut his teeth on projects like Cape Town’s Dun- whether it was due to the influence of suspended for about five years, without The Partnership’s Victoria Junction project crashed kley Square and Victoria Junction in Newport Prop- he high court rule cited by Mrs David, Hugh Herman, or just the bank’s tradi- interest. In other words the payment (see main story) to switch to his new career as prop- erty Group.” (FM, 18 November 2004.) No mention, Chief Registrar at the Cape High Court tional policy of generosity and forbear- date was deferred for about five years erty writer on the influential weekly? of course, that Victoria Junction went belly up for when she refused to let noseweek ance towards its debtors, there was no without interest.” “He’s always writing about the renewal of Joburg R30m, or of Investec’s present pursuit of Chait and T pressure on the chairman’s old part- Doesn’t Investec usually move sharp- inner city and if he’s written about Stuart Chait once his family for their sureties. examine the file of case 14194/2006 states: “Any party to a cause, and any person hav- ners to pay up. Instead, The Partner- er to recover its loans? Is it usual to he’s written about him 50 times,” complains the chief In the column, “At Lunch with the FM”, in the 11 ship was given a five-year interest-free give such a period of grace? “Investec executive of a major property firm. ing a personal interest therein, with leave of March 2005 issue, Ian was lunching with Stuart Chait period of grace. It was only three years are not sharp to get their money back,” “Every single article written by Fife quotes Stuart “the new owner of Johannesburg’s Melrose Arch”, the registrar on good cause shown, may at ago, in 2006, when the cash hadn’t responds Herman. “Investec operate as Chait as this property genius, the smartest guy in and came to the following conclusion: “Chait has the his office, examine and make copies of all materialised, that Investec issued the a bank and they operate with integrity. property in South Africa. It’s absolutely sickening, gift of reducing a situation to utter simplicity and documents in such cause.” present (secret) summons. I presume the client was not in a po- absolutely ludicrous,” adds the chief executive of a picking out the vital issues.” A 1957 judgment said: “It has been held Herman joined Investec as depu- sition to pay, so they entered into an leading hotel group. Fife forgets to point out that Chait holds only that a stranger to a suit is not entitled as of ty chairman and chief executive in agreement, which was a compromise. Well, we've checked, and Fife does often write 12.5% of Property Partners, the property and “mez- right to inspect documents in the registrar’s January 1994, after 17 years with There is a case pending but I’m not about the resurrection of inner city Jozi – “the core zanine” finance house that owns the R1.27bn Mel- office before judgment has been pro- Pick n Pay, where he was managing really familiar with the details of the of SA’s Big Apple”. He certainly hopes it will. He had rose Arch. The balance of Property Planners is held nounced in the matter. It is sometimes said, director. He stepped down as CEO after matter.” discreetly acquired, at knockdown prices, a substan- by the Collier Consortium of Alan Collier. You won’t and seems to be in accordance with current a year to become group chairman. Of his role as an investor in The tial property empire in rundown Hillbrow, Berea and read this in the FM, but noseweek can tell you that practice, that the records become accessible Were his links with The Partner- Partnership’s projects, Herman says: Yeoville. By 2007 he and his partners boasted a port- Chait and Collier have fallen out in a big way: Chait when the matter has been called in open ship an embarrassment to the Investec “I’ve known the Chaits for quite a long folio of 450 flats. But then Fife sold out there – and is said to have been looking for an angle with which court.” board? On 23 May 2007, a year after time. I wasn’t involved with them per set about accumulating his present total of 120 in- to seize control of Property Partners and thereby a But things have changed. A legal expert the court summons was issued, it was se, I was a co-investor with them. Ge- ner city flats, through his old Cape Town company, much larger stake in Melrose Arch. Collier no longer comments: “In post constitutional times announced that Herman was retiring off [Chait] was the one who kicked off Newport Real Estate. shares Chait's office in Cape Town, and lawyers’ let- there have been any number of judgments as non-executive chairman of Investec most of the developments.” If and when the inner city blossoms and his port- ters are flying. which have underlined the right of the press Bank – although he would remain non- Absa Bank Centre, Picbel Parkade, folio of flats, currently in the circa R100,000 catego- Looking back to Fife’s early days on the FM, Ali- to publish. I would say the chief registrar is executive chairman of Investec Ltd Hiddingh Village? “Yes, they were one ry, soar in value to an anticipated R300,000 each, we son Goldberg, who brought him on board, recalls: taking an extremely narrow-minded and and Investec Plc. When the summons of the investors and I was one of the estimate that Fife stands to see his empire, presently “When he arrived he said he still had property inter- constitutionally very doubtful approach, was issued he owned 9,875,890 shares investors.” worth an estimated R12m, swell to, well, three times ests, but if ever there was a conflict he would resign.” Is he still involved with the Chaits? which ignores the fundamental right of the in Investec Ltd (owners of Investec that or more. And that, quite early on, she tried to fire him after a Bank). Last year Herman’s total remu- “No, the developments I was in were fi- Certainly, over the past 12 years the 66-year-old press to publish matters of public interest developer complained about his “dual role”. neration as chairman of Investec Plc nalised and sold. They were investments scribe has written many thousands of words in the The FM’s then editor Peter Bruce, piqued that Gold- and importance. was £340,000 (around R4.2m). that have been terminated now.” FM to encourage the revival. Some examples: berg thought she had the right to fire a member of “Matters in which big banking institutions In its 2008 annual report the group Minutes after noseweek’s call a clear- “Inner city housing is being snapped up and his team, responded by hauling Goldberg before an like Investec are involved are by their very stated: “The chairman Hugh Herman ly agitated Herman calls back. “And cleaned up, while suburbia is steadily being trans- internal disciplinary hearing. Goldberg won, but was nature of public interest. Not only would the is not considered to be independent. me?” he asked. “What’s the connection formed into a morass of ill-planned, overcrowded later eased out – after eight years on the staff – when clients and shareholders in the bank have At the time of his appointment his du- with me? Are you writing a story about business nodes,” he wrote in the 2 March 2001 issue. she sided with a secretary who was being disciplined Property scribe, and tycoon, Ian ‘Conflict-of-interests – Moi?’ Fife an interest, but also anybody who does any ties included promoting the group and this? Perhaps you could enlighten me; “Johannesburg’s inner city is winning a war to create after circulating defamatory details of Bruce’s office kind of business with any bank in South introducing clients, but excluded day- am I supposed to have some involve- proper middle and working class housing.” relationships. Leaving Ian Fife to grab her niche as Africa.” to-day executive decisions. His role ment in this?” Don't we – and Ian – wish. property editor.

10 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 11 us that it’s Hugh Herman “who is In the last few years Tolly Novick In February 2006 Mr Justice Van monitoring developments in the mat- and the Chaits have been busy suing Reenen ordered that The Partnership ter for Investec.” How odd, you might each other. In 2005 Novick was ordered be terminated and dissolved, with co- think, for the chairman of Investec Plc, to pay R1.2m to brothers Stuart and receivers to realise its assets. “The dis- who no longer has any standing at In- Anton Chait, owing for his share of the solution is still trundling on,” says co-re- The masterpiece... vestec Bank, to be monitoring its R4.5m Hiddingh Village debt. Novick’s coun- ceiver Bryan Shaw. “There are still quite high court action. In view of his role ter claim for R750,000 was dismissed, a lot of disputes between the partners, with The Partnership, perhaps he feels as was his subsequent appeal. Tolly Novick and Geoff Chait.” he needs to keep an eye on things. In 2005 Novick then sued 67-year- Of Investec’s R4.5m claim against As for The Partnership, it no longer old Geoff Chait for R392,803 over the the partners – more than R1m against good port deserves a exists. Ian Fife, who held a 20% share same Hiddingh Village debt. Novick’s each – Novick says: “This dispute’s been good cork. Not one that sucks in Victoria Junction and signed surety application for summary judgment was going on a long time. They [Investec] air. But where to find such an for Investec’s loan, pulled out in 1997, refused. The action was withdrawn in seized the Protea hotel in December a year before the project collapsed, to April 2007, nine days before it was due 1998. It’s ruined many people’s lives, exclusive port? It would be easy relocate to Johannesburg and a new to be heard in the Cape High Court. mainly mine. I was recovering from to pick a famous Karoo port but a bypass operation and wasn’t in a position to fight. I tried to initially, that would seriously dent Mr Nose’s ego – he’s then I was too tired. That’s age – I’m 73 lookinga for wines you’re not supposed to know, In the last few years Tolly Novick now. I didn’t have any energy to come back.” remember. So the search was on for an exclusive Which is as close as we get to a clue quality port. He phoned his friend Harry. Yes, and the Chait brothers have been to what it's all about: the “friends” at Investec turned nasty and “betrayed” he knew of a rare edition. It is called Padrao and busy suing each other them by seizing their joint asset, only 500 bottles were made! Beautifully wrapped Victoria Junction, for what the part- in tissue in a black gift box with enough red wax ners thought was way below its real career with the Financial Mail. He In 2006 Novick launched a final high value – an assessment that was con- on top to make sure the cork doesn’t suck air. Mr says he sold his 20% to Geoff Chait in court action against Ian Fife and the firmed by its later sale at a huge prof- Nose cracked the wax, drew the cork ... and there 1997 and his name is not on Investec’s three Chaits, applying for The Partner- it. summons for the R4.5m. ship to be dissolved. Relations between For at least some of them it has, it it was, the deep rich nose of sweet ripe cherries! Did Investec release him from his the partners had “soured irreparably”; seems, become a matter of principle He phoned Paul Engelbrecht who is the artist- suretyship? “Well, they didn’t. But there had been bad mouthing and not to pay Investec the balance of the creator of Padrao. This is how he described his they didn’t summons me,” replies Fife. mud-slinging and The Partnership loan, rather by way of saying: let them Pressed to explain, 66-year-old Fife had “disintegrated”, he said in court take us to court and then let the whole port: “Colour: deep dark ruby. Nose: rich ripe says that after he sold out to Geoff papers. world see what bastards they are. berry, hints of chocolate. Palate: loads of black Chait in 1997 he phoned Laetitia Pey- per, then head of Investec’s Cape prop- cherry, hints of spice and cigar box. This wine will erty finance division and said: “I’m go brilliantly with dark chocolate mousse.“ out – release me from my suretyship”. Win a bottle of bubbly! She said sure, but left soon afterwards and I wasn’t released from my surety. To make sure that what was inside the bottle was But in the event I wasn’t sued.” as beautiful as the outside, Mr Nose also sent a To put Padrao in perspective – Allesverloren Port Was there a falling out within The Partnership? “Never. The Partnership bottle to Bill Cooper Williams (CWM) for his rated 4.5 stars and Boplaas Vintage 5 stars in the was very successful and we got into our expert independent opinion: “It reminds me a Platter Guide. Yes, you can order a bottle or two of comfort zone. When that happens egos lot of a 1797 (yes) Groot Constantia Port that Padrao. But wait – there is more. With every often start running up against each other. But Stuart Chait and I have al- was bought at Sotheby’s in London,” said Bill. bottle of Padrao we will send you four bottles ways been very good friends.” Not all “That also had a good cork and enough wax, like of Amehlo, which you may recall is a 4.5 star the erstwhile Partners have such fond memories of it. Padrao. It is a very good vintage port. Beautiful Bordeaux blend that has disappeared from the Stuart Chait, now 41, left The Part- long aftertaste. Fruity and rich. Would go very wine scene. (There are only a few bottles left nership soon after Fife, to become a founding partner in Tokyo Sexwale's well with a salty matured cheddar or blue cheese. after Mr Nose mentioned it in nose114.) The BEE property group, Mvelaphanda. Be careful as the high alcohol could lead to over- whole package – one bottle of Padrao plus four Now he’s chief executive of Property indulgence. Could mature for decades to come, bottles of Amehlo – is going for just R650, and Partners, the 2004 buyers of Johannes- Neigh ou maat. Tell Noseweek, in a few burg’s Melrose Arch. “We don’t want to witty words, what the zebra is saying about SA banks and banking. Send your although excellent now. I give it 17,5 to 18 points. will be delivered to you anywhere in SA at no make this public,” he says of the pend- fax to 021 686 0573 or email your entry to [email protected] before 4pm A masterpiece!” extra cost. Sorry, we don’t deliver overseas. ing December trial. He adds: “I don’t on Friday 10 July, marked NEIGH in the subject line. Don’t forget to include even think it will get to court.” Later your telephone number. The best entry will win a bottle of Billecart Salmon Chait phones to say: “The matter is ob- Reserve champagne valued at R600. The editor’s judgment is final. The viously in litigation and any comments winner will be informed by telephone. that we make will be prejudicial.” Place your order at www.noseweek.co.za

12 noseweek Ju l y 2009 or phonenoseweek 021 Ju l y 2009 686 0570 13 lice cars, sirens blaring, raced up from her lawyer, but didn’t get through. No into her bag. She was told that her FRAUD HURTS all directions – the officer had called further calls were allowed. car would be kept as evidence. Her ID his buddies, apparently to report that Although Sue’s valuables were book has not been returned. ���������� he’d been hit by a car and needed as- taken, no record was made and no A few days later FNB notified Sue sistance. receipt was given. She was locked in a that her credit card was being used ������� Complete mayhem ensued – cops cell with a blocked toilet, which reeked to purchase R8600 worth of goods shouting accusations, a man scream- of urine and faeces. And there Sue from a US online stationery store. She ing that his film shoot had been ru- stayed, for hour upon hour. Every now immediately stopped the transaction. ined and shopkeepers and passers-by and again, Sue banged on the door Shortly thereafter her bank manager ������������������������ gawking. A terrified Sue found herself and called out that she needed her called to say that someone had tried ��������������������� screaming back at the police. She was medication, and that she had to pick to put through a R400,000 transaction handcuffed and forced into a police car, up her seven-year-old son from school. on her card. Sue immediately can- hitting her head in the process. The man in charge, Superintendent celled her cards, and applied for new This isn’t how the constabulary saw Nel, ignored her completely. ones – which, without ID, was quite it. Furnall April, the traffic officer at At midnight Sue was hauled out a process, as can be imagined. She the centre of the storm, declares in his of the cell and taken to a room with eventually got her car back, but it was official report: “I explained to her an several men who were handcuffed no longer in pristine condition – a door Scene of ‘the crime’ Tired of reading Need a change alternative route, when she shouted together. Sue asked about her son but handle was about hanging loose, bad a seat okes belt that she will drive over me, when was told to shut up. The officer dealt had been ripped off, and the undercar- ? in your life? she knocked me with her vehicle. I with each man in turn, ignoring Sue. riage had been damaged, no doubt as explained to her that she will have When the officer finally turned his a result ofWant some low-flyingto read someover speed problems if she doesn’t comply with attention to her, he declared that she bumps. Threeinspiring cases of storiesRed Bull hadand Become a Bad cop, no-good cop my instruction. That was when she was being charged with attempted disappearedabout from peoplethe boot. of integrity? knocked me again; I moved out of Sue lodged a complaint with the man of honour!

Billy Graham police’s Independent ComplaintsLiving legend ANGUS BUCHAN JACQUESTESTIMONY BOTES the way and she drove through Wolfe MIGHTY ANGUS BUCHAN MIGHTY MEN 2008 REPORT BACK JOY ! JOY ! MEN 2008 REPORT BACK ! JOY ! Street.” Directorate (ICD), which was handledLOFTUS JOY Read Movie scene erupts into real-life car Read 23 minutes FOR JESUS LOFTUS Zimbabwe: What IN HELL BLESS YOUR Would Jesus Do? ‘OUT OF BODY’ ENEMIES Nomfundo Ngesimani, an officer by a Mr Leholo. At first EXPERIENCELeholo seemed The Amazing REALITY TV THE BIBLICAL Coming Revival Romance SOLUTION TO CRIME IS IT SCRIPTURAL? BEWARE GODLY GUIDELINES Of Deception called to the scene, says that when the real deal, ordering SuperintendMISSIONS’ -TO PARENTING DARK SECRET The BLOOD chase and dramatic arrest SA’S RISING STAR COVENANT Pray for the JAMES KAMTE PERSECUTED CHURCH Should Christians she arrived April “complained about ent Nel of the Wynberg policeDIE ‘GAY’KWESSIE station Seek Professional Help? MYLES MUNROE Tribute INTIMITEIT IN JOU HUWELIK Real Life Real People Real Christianity to allow Sue to lodge a fraud charge,Dr. D. James INTIMITEIT his legs that were in pain due to the FRAN LUCKIN BERNHARD LANGER IN JOU HUWELIK JOY ! TUTU COMPROMISES BecomeONDERHOUD MET a better you GIVES GOD ALL THE GLORY LOERIE AWARD WINNER THE GOSPEL RETHA McPHERSON Kennedy MICHAEL W. SMITHFRAN LUCKIN BERNHARD LANGER Become a better you GIVES GOD ALL THE GLORY ON MARRIAGE 25 YEARS OF WORSHIP “THE REWARD FOR HUMILITY AND FEAR OF THE LORD motor vehicle that drove into him”. Re- which Nel had told her wouldn’t be IS RICHES AND HONOUR AND LIFE.” garding Sue, Officer Ngesimani says: necessary as an investigation would “I asked her to come with me to the happen anyway. At one stage the Com- ue Smith (not her real name) is a the man jumped aggressively in front police station, but the lady was rude mercial BranchTel: in021 Belville 852 became in4061- Tel: 021 852 4061 middle-aged Brit living in Cape of her car she panicked and drove and having riotous behaviour, refusing volved because a credit card had been Town. A few months back Sue on, heading up the road towards her to co-operate, resisting to be arrested, used. But then things petered out was arrested and kept over- business. However, as she arrived calling us names, she was yelling to – the Belvillewww.joymag.co.za officers stopped calling www.joymag.co.za night in a police cell. What hap- there, the “car guard” (who turned out people to take pictures of us arrest- and Leholo withdrew, claiming that he penedS to her is ample indication that be a traffic officer whose uniform was ing her, accusing our government of had no authority over the traffic cops you may well worry about gangsters, obscured by a yellow jacket, which had employing lazy bastards, and we are who had arrested Sue (i.e. the ICD but you should worry every bit as been reversed) jumped out of the po- bunch of hooligans, who don’t know wasn’t interested in Sue’s complaints much about the police. lice car in which he had followed her, their job, closing the road so that they One of the cops who arrested Sue Smith about her treatment by SAPS officers At roughly 10am on 5 March, Sue slammed the half-opened door into cannot go to their workplace.” at Wynberg police station). This space is a snip at was behind the wheel of her BMW Z3 her elbow, forcing the door shut, and Sue points out that the “injured” murder. Sue was so shocked that she Sue also submitted a request to the on Wynberg Hill, Wynberg, about to demanded her driving licence. At that Officer April was able to run up Wolfe almost fainted. City of Cape Town to discover whether turn right into Wolfe Street where she point, as if in some B-grade movie, po- Street after her, follow her in a police A friend finally arrived to tell Sue a permit was ever issued for the film O N LY has a business. Waiting behind a panel car, and lead the troops during the ar- that she had taken her son home. shoot, but at the time of going to van that was also about to turn, Sue rest. Afterwards, as a cell-phone photo When Sue again demanded her press she had received no response. noticed some people milling around shows, our hero enjoyed an after- medication, two police officers took Although proprieter of a business in a ladder at the intersection, dropping action-satisfaction cigarette, before her to Victoria hospital. There she and Wolfe Street, she had not been given R1800... pink petals onto the pavement. It took The bank said hopping into Sue’s car and driving it the officers sat for five hours, until, notice of a film shoot or road closure. her a second or so to realise this was a to Wynberg police station – apparently eventually, a doctor told the officers to n Shortly before noseweek went to film shoot. someone had tried with some gusto. bring her back at 8am, when medi- print Sue received notice from the Why not try The panel van began turning right Meanwhile, at the police station, cation would be available. Instead, NPA that the case against her would into Wolfe, but suddenly veered Sue had her necklace ripped off her Sue was taken to a holding cell and be withdrawn, pending a full internal it for size? sharply back into Wynberg Hill. Sue to put through neck and her rings pulled off her then to court. There her charge was police investigation. then turned into Wolfe, but a man fingers (which apparently hurts like reduced from attempted murder to n On 29 May the Hout Bay Sentinel in a yellow vest began gesticulating a R400,000 hell if you have rheumatoid arthritis). reckless driving and resisting arrest. reported that Sergeant Ferne Rorich [email protected] and yelling at her to turn back into She says a foul-mouthed policewoman After a brief court appearance she had been arrested for fraudulently Wynberg Hill. What happened next transaction on her put rubber gloves on and took great was released. She had spent 24 hours using a credit card she had stolen from depends on who you believe. delight in snapping them, telling Sue without food or water. Her possessions the home of Richard Pickett during a 021 686 0570 Sue says she thought the man was that she would be body-searched – were returned but her ID book was routine assignment visit. Is “borrow- a car guard and kept going – it was missing credit card which, mercifully, didn’t happen. She missing and her credit cards had been ing” credit cards now seen as a perk of by then unsafe to turn back. When was given one opportunity to phone removed from her purse and emptied the job? – Ed.

14 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 15

Notes & updates Consumer gripes Paris France n Sunny, spacious apartment n Fully equipped kitchen Cipro faces massive n 5 mins from Champs Elysées, shops, Mystery man picks up restaurants, airport shuttle & metro Standard Bank n English TV, free internet and phone claim from sacked €100 per day* Bredenkamp’s fag ends *Costs apply for stays of 3 or more days. Cost of 1 or 2 days, extra 25%. squeezes pensioner 25 Rue Paul Valery, Metro Victor Hugo ‘whistleblower’ [email protected]; SMS 082 900 1202 ucor’s auction of John manufacturing plant he’s busy set- Bredenkamp’s cigarette manu- tling up in Pietermaritzburg. tandard Bank appears to be reaching ipro and its chief executive Keith Afacturing plant fetched a total But a fortnight after the 28 May “unheard-of” heights in its com- Sendwe are facing a massive of R4.3m, which won’t go very far sale, Aucor was still waiting to receive Smitment to making a few bucks Clegal claim from one of its top towards paying the R150m debt of Kajee’s R2.3m. “He said payment more. Mr Brian Black of Edgemead IT experts, who has been summar- his liquidated Masters Interna- was coming from overseas,” says in Cape Town tells noseweek that the ily fired for allegedly talking to tional Tobacco Manufacturing a source close to the auction bank is refusing to repay two years of NEED TO CATCH noseweek about Valor IT, controver- (Pty) Ltd. The SA Revenue house. payments for an unwanted insurance A SNAKE? sial winner of the R153m tender service alone is looking for CK Tobacco Distributors policy sold over the phone to his hard- Africa’s premier to upgrade Cipro’s information R69m (noses113&114). was incorporated last Octo- of-hearing and “mentally confused” snake catchers technology system (noses114&115). As always with mat- ber. There is only one listed 79-year-old mother. He has written in (We’re not bad at sharks either) Dr Pieter Engelbrecht was ters featuring Zimba- member/director – Catherine complaint to the ombudsmen of bank- He writes that her questions to the into his fifth month of a two-year bwe-based Bredenkamp – Elizabeth Schmidt. ing and long-term insurance, and is agent clearly bring out that she was contract as programme manager sanctions buster, tobacco Is he fronting for awaiting a response. “not hearing or understanding what Mercantile Investigation at the Companies and Intellectual broker, arms dealer and Bredenkamp? “You must be Mr Black was recently given power was being said”. Litigation support Property Registration Office when crony of Mad Bob Mu- the fourth person asking of attorney to act on behalf of his Black is particularly irritated that Recoveries & his labour broker, Kanimambo, re- gabe – there’s a whiff that,” responds Kajee mother (now 81), as she has become his mother was not asked whether resolutions ceived a letter from CEO Sendwe. of mystery around indignantly. “I increasingly unable to deal with her fi- or not she wanted the policy, but was Sendwe wrote that Engelbrecht the main buyer, had the liqui- nancial affairs. To make things easier, simply asked to choose between a must immediately be dismissed for Yusuf Kajee. dator phone he consolidated her bank accounts and R75– or R50–a-month policy. “She was causing them “embarrassment” by Kajee, who lives and ask if I in the process asked that her Stand- not given an option to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” Tel: +27+83 357 8555 informing noseweek that Valor IT in Joburg, success- was a front for ard Bank Pinelands branch account he emphasises. [email protected] had stolen a substantial chunk of fully bid a total of him. We’ve got be closed. Some time later, discovering He points out that his mother did rival IT company GijimaAst’s web- R2.3m for seven lots nothing to do with that the account was still operating, not receive a policy document – Black site (nose115). Kanimambo then that comprised the Mr Bredenkamp.” he asked the bank why – and was told deals with all her post, and has wrote to Engelbrecht informing packaging plant. He tells Has he met the there was a Standard Bank insurance- checked through all her papers. him that his contract was ended. noseweek that his company is man? “Yes, on a few occa- premium debit order on the account. Black tells the ombudsmen: “I feel Noseweek had a number of sourc- CK Tobacco (trading as Delta Tobacco) sions,” replies Kajee. “He’s been quite Moreover, said the bank, your mother that Standard Bank has acted improp- es for the story of Valor IT’s be- and the machinery is for a cigarette a naughty boy.” owes us for unmet debits on the policy. erly in passing on details of their eld- wildering tender win – and Pieter Black visited the bank with his erly clients to the insurance division Engelbrecht was not among them. mother, where she was told that, in for telephonic sales. The moment my A whole heap of people at Cipro March 2007, she had agreed over the mother said she was hard of hearing knew about Valor’s website theft phone to purchase a policy for “acci- the call should have stopped, and no PASSWORD 1: from GijimaAst, and had checked Saga of tax guru’s onshore haven continues dental death and broken bones”. Mrs sale should have been concluded.” out the two companies’ sites to Black had no recollection of such a He adds that his mother is “trau- examine the shameful evidence. transaction. matised” that the bank should have Y2CvRuWio2369X Cipro is meant to be the guardian he saga of Chez Lester – the in-your- only is he seeking departure from Incensed that a policy could be sold “taken advantage of her condition by of intellectual property in South face Kenton home of tax guru regulations regarding the building over the phone to a 79-year-old on a stealing R59 per month out of her ac- PASSWORD 2: Africa – and Sendwe should have TProfessor Matthew Lester (locals line and the insertion of windows in small pension, a woman who wears count”. demanded an explanation from describe it as “a cross between a walls which are close to boundaries, hearing aids in both ears and is often Black was told by Standard Bank Valor IT for its shoddy conduct. McDonalds and an aircraft hangar) – but also a relaxation of the height mentally confused, Black registered a that the insurance division is satisfied When nothing was done and a goes on. restriction – by a whopping 8.2m. complaint with Helga Nel of Standard that his mother agreed to take the Cipro employee flushed the theft Noses59&79 told how Lester’s three- Lester is also seeking subdivision of Bank and Rajesh Magan of Standard policy and that this settled the matter. into the open by informing nosew- storey monstrosity had offended locals, the property, to cater for the fact that Bank Insurance Brokers. Hence his letter to the ombudsmen. eek, Sendwe should, at least, have especially a couple whose sea view has it houses two dwellings rather than In May he was played the record- n When a bank justifies telephone quietly approved. Unless, of course, disappeared. The local authority, Nd- the permitted one. ing of the sale to his marketing of “accidental death” insur- he’s been in bed with Valor IT all lambe municipality, has now grabbed When last heard, 260 objections had mother. In his letter ance to an 80-year-old pensioner living along. the bull firmly by the horns, a mere been received. What the municipality of complaint to the on a couple of thousand rand a month, Why didn’t the CEO have the five years after the house was built. will make of them remains to be seen ombudsmen, Black and who obviously can’t hear and decency to call Engelbrecht in and On 29 April 2009, it advertised an – it has already been twice rapped on writes that the first doesn’t understand what is being said, put the ridiculous charge to him? application by Lester for departure the knuckles by the high court in this thing his mother said one is tempted to call them names. Like

A senior advocate comments: “Can from the relevant building regulations, matter, and has blatantly disregarded when the insurance “committed” or “dedicated” – to squeez- THE UNFORGETTABLE PASSWORD one be dismissed for pointing out a as well as for subdivision. an opinion which it received from agent called was ing every cent they can from their good reason for embarrassment? I The egregiousness of Lester’s erec- senior counsel, saying that approval of “Please speak up, I clients, no matter what their circum- think not.” tion is evident from the fact that, not Lester’s plans would be unlawful. am hard of hearing”. stances. – Ed.

16 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 17 All’s not smooth as silk Trying to forget Barry at the Joburg bar Do Ponzi victims want their cover blown? Not likely

here’s some odd stories from some 70-plus advocates who rent cham- y now readers don't need to be could be revived with the help of new, three hours, wet the bed – and lurking in the abrupt resigna- bers there. told who Barry Tannenbaum foreign investors. then I cry!” tion of Ishmael Semenya SC as Semenya, 50, and Bezuidenhout, 47, are and Dean Rees are – or that (Barry Tannenbaum did succeed in We all laugh. What else to do? chairman of the Johannesburg also directors of Ilangabi Investments, formed scores of millionaires have finding at least one big foreign investor: He's resigned to not recovering his bar council (the association of in 2001, and Luendo Holdings – “a holding been shown up by these two a businessman in Qatar who invested money – not anytime soon, anyway. advocates).T As widely reported, the company for diversified investments” – in- ponziB operators as being both exces- $35m in December. The money went In mid May, as soon as he understood veteran silk, as upper-echelon advocates corporated in 2004. Back in 2006 Business sively greedy and not very bright. into a Hong Kong account [see below] what was up, he got practical – and are known, stepped down on 14 May, the Report carried an intriguing story about how (Pick n Pay CEO Sean Summers told and, within 24 hours, was gone – who immediately sold his Porsche. It took a day the council’s silk committee present- Luendo Holdings had attempted to gain a a mutual friend after a week of it: “If knows where. There was one very un- week longer before he was prepared to ed its list of 11 junior advocates recom- stake in South Africa’s Porsche agency. Not in another person calls me stupid, I'll pop happy Qatari businessman in Johan- part with his beloved royal blue Rolls, mended for this elevated status. that story was the background to their pitch. him one!”) nesburg when the Confederation Cup but now that's gone too – for a mere “Ish” Semenya declared he was step- In late 2005 a letter was dispatched to the Instead, noseweek will take a brief kicked off last month – and he wasn't R2m. No point in wasting time. “I've ping down because of the “toxic and luxury car manufacturer in Germany – on but careful, more critical, look at how here for the soccer.) gone from nil to many millions three abominable” selection process. As a the letterhead of the Presidency and signed it all works – and how this particular But now that the bubble has finally times before. I'll do it again,” he says leading member of Aft (Advocates for by Mbeki’s legal adviser, advocate Mojanku ponzi is likely to unravel. burst, it's all those lucky best friends with the sort of cool that explains it all. Transformation), a group of advocates Gumbi. A senior advocate who has seen this One of the features of a ponzi scheme (such as Dean's friend in the construc- But right now, liquidation is the name (not all black) concerned with trans- letter tells noseweek: “It said that the state is that the victim is likely to become the tion business, Chris Harris) at the top of the game. forming what they regard as an unfair president had noted with some dismay that of the pyramid who would rather that As proof of his investment, Keith and outdated bar, this is not surprising. Porsche had not seen the light in South no-one found out just how much money was given a letter – one of several – Aft particularly objects to the way that Africa. Its agency [LSM Distributors] had ALL IN THE they made, because – horrors! – they printed on the letterhead of Abated FAMILY: The new silks are chosen: input is made by all not become empowered and was lily-white – Tannenbaum clan might be forced to give it all back, if not Investments Ltd, a company with un- of Joburg’s 764 advocates, through their and the president considered this was wrong. happy in Australia to the losers, then to the liquidators. disclosed shareholders, and registered 15 group leaders, to the eight silks who The letter recommended Luendo Holdings as That's if the Asset Forfeiture Unit in the British Virgin Islands. Typical of make up the Joburg bar council (which an empowerment component.” hasn't got to them first and seized it all companies registered in such offshore also includes eight juniors). Four of these Gumbi, who no longer works in the presi- as the proceeds of a criminal scheme. tax havens, a BVI firm of trustees acts silks are elected to the council and four dent’s office, is not a member of Aft. Her CV Those investors are generally not in a as director of Abated Investments Ltd. are appointed by Aft. states that she is a member of the Azanian hurry to have Barry or Dean back in Abated's business – and its main bank Among the 41 juniors who applied for People’s Organisation, as well as an executive town, being cross-examined by a smart account – are operated from an office in Silk this year were two Aft members, member of the Black Lawyers’ Association. lawyer on how it all worked, who knew Hong Kong. Jacco Venter and Andre Bezuidenhout, Semenya and Bezuidenhout duly made a – and who got exactly how much. The letter to Keith, dated 1 Sep- both from Semenya’s Pitje Chambers. presentation to Porsche late in 2005. To fend Finally, there's the small matter of tember 2008, is headed: "Your invest- But in the deliberation process over the off their bid, Toby Venter, whose family had tax. Where did the millions come from ment with a third party/ies in respect final list both were excluded. owned exclusive rights to import Porsche that were so recklessly invested? Had of antiretroviral medicines and more Semenya was furious that Bezuiden- cars since 1995, announced that he was giv- they been declared for tax purposes? A specifically, the active pharmaceuti- hout was dropped. “He threw his toys ing a 30% stake in LSM Distributors to new cruel twist: those interest (or “commis- cal ingredients contained therein, and out of the cot and said that unless at empowerment partner Hlongwane Consult- sion”) payments that investors so hap- aligned investments ... as well as the least Jacco Venter was included then he ing, headed by former Denel director Fana pily allowed Dean and Barry to “roll purchase of dossiers pertaining to for- and the three other Aft silks on the com- Hlongwane (who was also adviser to then over” – that was income accrued, al- mulations [of pharmaceutical drugs]." mittee wouldn’t vote for anyone,” says a Defence Minister Joe Modise at the time he though not received. The taxman could A “third party”? Why the mystery senior advocate. was nurturing the notorious arms deal). add insult to injury by taxing those about Barry Tannenbaum's role in the As a compromise, 50-year-old Venter Semenya did not return noseweek’s calls. scheme operator’s co-conspirator: the commissions they were promised but scheme if everyone was relying on his was put on the list. But this did not stop Andrew Bezuidenhout says: “Speak to Jacco last thing he wants is for the pyramid didn't receive. reputation as an established import- Semenya from resigning as bar council Venter, he’s the secretary of Aft.” to collapse before he's got his money Noseweek did track down one big in- er of pharmaceutical raw materials? chairman the same day. Says 50-year-old Venter: “What I do know back – if at all possible with the prom- vestor who would like to see the two in (Dean Rees gave Keith a copy of Tan- Why was Semenya so angry that [about] is the fight that Ish [Semenya] has ised profit. The more fearful he is, the court, if not in jail: Johannesburg prop- Andre Bezuidenhout didn’t make it? fought to transform the bar and to get trans- more he'll tell everyone what a great erty developer Keith van der Spuy, who Well, besides their legal partnership, parency in [...] the silk process. You can accept investment opportunity it is. That's one is said to have lost “up to R50m” that they also have a long-standing business as a fact that the reason why he resigned – if possible explanation for why it took the he invested in Barry Tannenbaum and relationship. They are co-directors of Andre Bezuidenhout played a role, it would victims so long to complain. The scheme Dean Rees's scheme. Clearly some com- Pitje Chambers (Pty) Ltd, which owns only be one of the factors.” had effectively collapsed by December miseration is called for. “You must be Pitje Chambers in Pritchard Street, close Porsche SA is aware of the Gumbi letter last year, but six months later the vic- having sleepless nights,” noseweek says to the high court, and, as major share- saga. “But we were never privy to Gumbi’s tims were still trying to keep it secret! to him. He surprises us: “I’m sleeping holders, derive a generous rental income Ishmael Semenya letter,” says PR manager Christo Kruger. They were hoping against hope that it like a baby.” Really? “Yes: I wake every Easy as piety: Barry Tannenbaum donates a new Torah to the Chabad Outreach Centre of Umhlanga Rocks 18 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 19 nenbaum’s CV to prove the point.) cial friends. (If you knew hundreds The letter commences: “Further to of investors had gone before you, you previous discussions between us, we might suspect you were at the wrong confirm that you have invested, using end of a ponzi scheme.) Without exce- ourselves as your agent, the sum of pion, when the bubble burst in May, ..XX.. to allow the Third Party/ies to the investors were amazed to discover pursue the purpose.” just how vast Barry Tannenbaum and According to the letter, Keith was to Dean Rees's circle of “special” friends Thought you might like to be paid 17% on his investment, for just is. Or was. These “friends” were clearly seven weeks. not to know what interest rates other, Dear Ponziknow where your dough putz Then follow some most extraordinary presumably better, friends had been of- confidentiality requirements: “We con- fered: the rate differed quite markedly went.... firm, in accordance with the financed from case to case. party’s requirements, [that] you have In late 2007, identical letters were irrevocably undertaken to hold all in- given to investors – but they were print- formation given to you with regards to ed on the letterhead of Rees's then law First, me n Dominique this transaction, and all and any de- firm, Rees Tshabalala Adams. Groups went out and burnt a tails with regards to the financed party, of those investors had usually been in- confidential. vited to small dinner gatherings with bit of spare change on “We confirm that you will not disclose Tannenbaum, who encouraged them another little runabout. your investment, any documentation in to invest in his scheme. Several subse- your possession, or any details with re- quently joined Rees on a trip to Hong Dominique & Me gards to the financed party/ies, to any Kong to open offshore bank accounts. (I do hope youre third party, without the prior written The bottom line: how come these After that, we notseeing red) smart businessmen, with their thought we lawyers and accountants, never got around to using some plain owed ourselves Several investors joined common sense? Why didn’t Back in old they ask: If Barry Tannenbaum a little hol, so can afford to offer 20% for an we hit Kariba. RSA things were Rees on a trip to Hong eight- or ten-week investment – getting a bit hot, secured by firm advance orders so we chartered Kong to open offshore from South Africa's biggest ge- neric drug manufacturer – why this private bank accounts wouldn’t he take those orders Gulfstream jet. to his own bankers, RMB and Joburg-Geneva one Investec, and borrow the money consent of the financed party, and who, at an extravagant 4% for two months – way: R1.8million. in their sole and absolute discretion, keeping 16% for himself? Charitable may withhold the same.” feelings for his fellow millionaires? The final paragraph – “Abated's And did any of them give a thought banking details are as follows: ...” to the idea that they were confident of You might have The account is with the Causeway earning easy millions because of the Bay branch of HSBC Bank in Hong vast profits apparently to be made out noticed - I like Kong. A swift code is provided to facili- of the desperate need for anti-retrovi- baiting big fish tate the fastest possible transmission rals to deal with the Aids crisis? of the investor's money. Quite apart from the obvious ques- The letter is signed by Dean Rees “on tions which Messrs Tannenbaum, Rees behalf of Abated Investments Ltd”. and their lower tier agents, such as So why all the secrecy? The most Darryl Leigh and Benjamin Jowitt (he obvious guess: the tax man was not drives Rees's old Ferrari), are going to All aboard! supposed to hear about it. But that have to answer, those are the big ques- xxx Who says assumes every investor’s a criminal. tions that the South African public will Our Swiss villa there are no Another possibility: the supposed buy- want answered by these legal experts - before the Destination: ers of these products, such as Aspen and masters of finance and industry. free lunches? and Sandoz, were not to hear about it n A local company called Abated In- renovations - Switzerland. (Thanks.) – or they might have blown the whistle vestments was acquired by Rees (from Dean and our wheels. (Lot cooler by denying they were making such pur- his friend Harris) in mid 2005. Its chases from Tannenbaum's company. business was described as “auxiliary here and great Finally, the investors were not to to financial intermediation”. Bary Tan- banks!) know about one another, or the scale nenbaum joined him as a director of of the scheme, as this was meant to the company in May 2007 – when the Rees be an exclusive investment opportu- serious business of recruiting investors nity limited to only a very few spe- got going in earnest.

20 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 21 Profile

The mystery of Ambrosini’s stove ple of reluctant answers: Unsurprisingly, Ambrosini was keen ccording to the Paraffin Safe- yet been regulated, but the stove had to distance himself from the Promethea The oily MP who is God’s gift to ty Association of South been passed by SABS as fully com- matter: “This piece of litigation ... is now AAfrica (PASASA), some nine mil- pliant with the voluntary standard. run from (sic) Peter Knop and I am not lion households in South Africa use Glenn Truran of PASASA told involved in it directly. If you wish, I will paraffin every day. Each year up to noseweek this was nonsense. He said gladly help you in understanding its in- 80,000 households experience paraf- that, although the standard is a tricacies and wider public import, but Mangosuthu Buthelezi fin-related fires. The stove invented voluntary one, Ambrosini certainly cannot be a spokesperson in this mat- by Colin Vale, which extinguishes im- could apply for SABS certification ter, nor speak on behalf of the parties to ne of the more interesting char- Ambrosini has already been a thorn mediately it is knocked over, is being by submitting the Parasafe stove for the litigation”. acters to join the 2009 Nation- in the side of the ANC. In an August sold by Promethea under the name testing (and paying the rather hefty This, of course, is quite absurd, com- al Assembly road show is Chief 2002 statement, “IFP Abuses Public Parasafe (Vale isn’t earning anything fees). If the Parasafe got the certi- ing as it does from a man who – while Mangosutho Buthelezi’s right- Office Again”, the ruling party railed from this because he’s in dispute with fication, PASASA would certainly not party to the present litigation – has hand man Mario Ambrosini, against the fact that Ambrosini was Promethea). recommend it to the public. been at the very centre of the matter. or,O as he sometimes likes to be known, earning a state salary as an advisor PASASA doesn’t endorse the Par- With PASASA endorsement, sales In addition to his own involvement, Mario Gaspare Oriani-Ambrosini Esq. to the minister of Home Affairs (Chief asafe stove, because it hasn’t been would climb – and lives would be Ambrosini’s mother, a lawyer based in On occasion he’s Dr Ambrosini, usu- Buthelezi) whilst at the same time act- SABS certificated. When noseweek saved – so what tomfoolery might be Italy, is Promethea’s sole director. ally he’s plain mister. His IFP boss has ing as spokesman and legal advisor to asked Ambrosini why not, he said keeping Promethea from ensuring Ambrosini wouldn’t let on how many referred to him as “my impenetrable the IFP. The statement declared that that the standard applicable has not this happens? passports he has, nor whether he sup- shield” and “my AK-47”. “the IFP appears incapable of draw- plied the $100 valuation for the patent. Mr Ambrosini claims that parliament ing a distinction between the state and to exploit the patent for Colin Vale’s mainly residing at Ticonderoga Farms, He claims that he attained a doctorate has become ineffective in drafting leg- its party. The ANC is sick and tired of safe paraffin stove, by transferring it Ticonderoga Road, Chantilly 20152 Vir- at the University of Rome in 1984, and islation and supervising the executive. the IFP’s continual abuse of public of- to a company registered in a tax haven. ginia”. Ellis, he said, could contact him went on to do two LLM degrees in the Since he has also declared that his elec- fice”. (What’s that about pots and ket- Knop has acted as the moneybag. by email “which reaches me wherever I US. As going from doctorate to master’s tion as an MP presents an opportunity tles?) Around that time Ambrosini ac- Ambrosini tried to get Reserve Bank am in the world”. degree isn’t too common, noseweek won- to advance the cause of federalism and quired South African citizenship, and approval for the transaction, and in the When noseweek contacted the new ders if the Rome degree wasn’t a dottore the powers of the provinces to draft it’s thought that he also carries US and process was keen to portray himself as MP with questions, his responses sug- – a BA in sunny SA. their own laws, he clearly intends to Italian passports. an American mover and shaker, looking gested that to call the man slippery as An MP with multiple roles in busi- shake things up. Noseweek looks for- Ambrosini and Buthelezi appear to help out in a country he knew a bit an eel would grossly exaggerate the ness and politics, and allegedly no ward to the show. to be mutually besotted. In a May about. abilities of that creature. After trying stranger to the forging of signatures on Whether or not this Italian/Ameri- 2007 address in Cape Town Buthelezi Negotiations with the Reserve Bank the sub judice route, he declared that amended documents should fit right in can/South African (there’s good rea- praised the “genius of my special ad- are done through intermediaries, and the information was a matter of pub- at the National Assembly. One who is son to believe he has three passports) viser”, whom he referred to as “one of in February 2006 Ambrosini wrote, as lic record. Next he claimed – falsely, it also a helpful American when it suits envisages a role for himself in helping God’s gifts to me”, a man to compare “chief executive officer of Promethea turned out – that it could be found in – well, that’s unusual. Noseweek looks to redraft exchange control legislation with “the cowhide shield that protected Corporation”, to FNB exchange-control Knop’s replying affidavit. Finally, a cou- forward to the show. remains to be seen. Any interest he my grandfather during that battle of head Tracey Botha about the applica- might show in this role, though, would Isandlwana”. tion: “I understand that in terms of stem from his involvement in a failed Dr Mario Gaspare A year later, on the occasion of South African law IRP are chattels-in- exchange-control application involving Oriani-Ambrosini Esq. Buthelezi’s 80th birthday celebrations, position or immaterial things or res... a South African patent. This has led to Ambrosini reciprocated by describing I also understand that the RSA is a a legal challenge to the Reserve Bank’s ing affidavit, so the matter is ready to the chief as “an extraordinary man, the member of the World Trade Organiza- right to legislate in this domain. be heard. Among many points of inter- likes of whom I have not met before or tion (WTO) and its parliament has leg- “Playing With Fire” in nose107 re- est is that an auditor for Promethea since”, a “man cast in a greatness which islated into force the WTO’s obligations’ ported how a company represented by has valued the invention at a measly deeply resembles statesmanship of a regarding IP”. Ambrosini, Promethea Corporation $100, whereas the Reserve Bank has bygone European and American era” Minutes of a July 2006 meeting, be- of Vanuatu, transferred intellectual an attorney’s valuation putting it at (Bismarck, Jefferson and Lincoln were tween Ambrosini, FNB and the Re- property – created in South Africa and some R20m. Around the time of the invoked). serve Bank, recorded that Ambrosini relating to the manufacture of a safe valuation BP offered some $3.4m for Buthelezi’s admiration for Ambrosini “advised that as an American citizen he paraffin stove – from the South African Promethea (which was basically noth- was clearly not tarnished by the fact was based in Washington DC in the role inventor to itself, without the required ing but the patent). Another curiosity that on his watch Buthelezi oversaw of general counsel for venture capital”, Reserve Bank approval. When the Re- is a claim that Ambrosini amended an the passing of regulations under the that “in 1992 he came to South Africa serve Bank issued an instruction that agreement, then forged on it the initials Immigration Act that were subsequent- to assist the Government with various the transfer be undone, Promethea first of the inventor, Colin Vale. ly declared unconstitutional – which change processes”, and that he “was tried to negotiate with the bank. When Italian-born Ambrosini studied law saw the end of his time as the coalition- employed by the SA Government until this failed, Promethea boldly went at the University of Rome then moved minister of Home Affairs. 2004”. It went on record that “as Dr Am- where none have gone before: the com- to the US to specialise in constitutional Ambrosini then turned, around 2004, brosini was well connected in the inter- pany sued the minister of finance and law. He arrived in South Africa in the to the world of business, mainly as “gen- national community”, he would address the Reserve Bank for an order declar- early 1990s, when this was suddenly eral counsel” for the Knop Organiza- the matter of South Africa’s need for a ing the Promethea transaction valid an interesting place for a constitutional tion, the company of Peter Knop, a very safe paraffin stove, with Peter Knop, and for another declaring the Reserve lawyer: initially working for Buthelezi’s wealthy US landowner with whom Am- “an international philanthropist”. Bank unconstitutional. advisor Walter Felgate, he ended up as- brosini has been associated since 1985. In January 2007, Ambrosini wrote to The case is being defended of course, sisting Buthelezi at the constitutional It appears to have been Ambrosini who Alexander Ellis of the Reserve Bank: and Promethea recently filed a reply- talks in Kempton Park. actually mastermined the whole scheme “In final response to your letter [...] I am

22 noseweek Ju l y 2009 cane from which to produce ethanol – a substitute for petrol – for the growing global biofuel market. Known as Pro- Cana, it’s an endeavour that, besides transforming Massingir, could also, via a mess of land claims and conflicting promises, put at risk the transnational park. (It’s already derailed another sig- nificant conservation project.) ProCana is just the first in a long line of massive biofuel projects backed by investors ranging from influential local speculators to multinational corpora- tions like BP. Some have asked the gov- ernment – which, because of its com- munist history, legally owns all land – for entire districts, the equivalent of large municipal areas in South Africa. Government officials say that biofuel investors have applied for rights to use, or claim (sometimes fraudulently) already to have secured rights to use, about 5 million hectares – this is two- and-a-half times the area of the Kruger Park and nearly one-seventh of the country’s 89 million acres of officially arable land. Some private experts claim the number is much higher, but, whatever the exact figures, the mes- sage is clear: Mozambique is expecting the plough. ProCana and its ilk are the vanguard of an under-reported land revolution – a movement that could re- Mozambique’s shape vast terrains and the livelihoods of millions as international agribusi- ness sets its sights on the cheap soil of Africa. Pictures: Adam Welz aputo, early 2008. I find the Sugar rush big man of ProCana, Izak Cornelis Holtzhausen – Corné to his friends – in an unexceptional ’60s modern- assingir is an unremarkable teenagers play rough games of pool istM office block with slightly dusty lifts. town. The electricity sup- under a thatched afdak by the side of Biofuel investors A secretary shows me to a small board- ply here in rural Mozam- the road. room with new furniture, very shiny bique is erratic, clean water Hardcore nature nuts sometimes pass claim to have parquet floors, and a promotional ban- is hard to come by, and the through Massingir; tourism has been ner for a new coal-mining area along hotelsM – well, calling them hotels is a A land war picking up as word spreads of the Great the Zambezi River. Holtzhausen walks little too polite. The town centre is two Limpopo Transfrontier Park, a slowly secured rights in, plants himself sideways at the ta- ragged blocks of colourful bars, stores, forming “peace park” that will merge the ble, and introduces himself with a and market stalls arranged along a threatens to Mozambican wilderness of the nearby charming smile; as we talk, his chubby reddish sandy furrow – the main street Limpopo National Park with South Af- to use about 5 fingers spin a tiny cell phone in unbal- – with goods on sale packaged in the undermine our rica’s Kruger National Park (just across anced orbits on the table. smallest possible quantities to match the border) and some adjacent Zimba- million hectares Holtzhausen is the Mozambique the pinched cash flow of local buyers: bwean wildlands to make one of Africa’s manager of the Central African Min- individual litres of fuel in old bottles, neighbour’s hard- largest protected areas. ing & Exploration Company (Camec), spoonfuls of soap powder in bright little I’ve arrived here to investigate – two-and-a-half which owns half of ProCana. He won’t packets, single cigarettes, microcans of won democracy, something bigger than elephants; this tell me who owns the other half (“Ask tomato paste and sardines, all laid out backwater is also the beachhead for me next month”), and he doesn’t want in creative patterns to catch the eye. an enormous project that promises to times the area of to talk about Camec at all. There’s Babies doze in the shade while their writes Adam Welz spend some $500m (about R4.2bn), been too much in the media about the mothers gossip, pausing on the way employ at least 2,000 people, and the Kruger Park company’s allegedly corrupt mining back from the UNICEF tent outside clear nearly 30,000 hectares of native deals in the Democratic Republic of the the shabby clinic, while loose-limbed woodland and savannah to grow sugar Congo, and its connections with those

24 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 25 two notorious Zimbabwean busi- him for business connections in Mo- tended grazing zone. The same chunk out countrywide a day after a high-pro- ing Land Law requires them to find out nessmen, Billy Rautenbach (nos- zambique. “Most of them are scum. Ab- of land has been promised to both the file visit by the president of the World if any local people are already using the es43&106) and John Bredenkamp solute scum. They go on about the bad inner “9,000” and ProCana. How did Bank, who had congratulated the coun- land and, if so, obtain their permission (noses9,13,50,113&114), who were black government over there, and when this happen? I was going to need a 4x4 try on its success in becoming “a major for any project. In theory, the law gives blacklisted by the US Treasury Depart- they start using the k-word, I just put and two interpreters (Shangaan to destination for foreign investment”. Mozambican peasants more power to ment last November for their support the phone down on them. Afrikaners Portuguese, Portuguese to English) to Thousands took to the streets to pro- determine their fate than their coun- of Robert Mugabe. (Late last year, af- have caused a lot of trouble in Africa.” find the answer. test skyrocketing prices. Large parts terparts around the world. In practice, ter this interview took place, a British Mozambique is set to become a major of Maputo became trashed no-go zones as I was to discover, the arm of the law Virgin Islands-based company named biofuels producer, Holtzhausen assures trip into the valley of the Rio for days and nine died in clashes with has limited reach. BioEnergy Africa, led by top Camec of- me, and other agribusiness ventures dos Elefantes is a journey into police; Mozambique’s staple food, ficials, bought 94 percent of ProCana; are booming, too. (Among other inter- a cliché of Africa: hardworking maize, had become vastly more expen- riving down to the Rio dos Ele- Holtzhausen remains its head.) ests, he has a stake in the country’s women in colourful cloth, peck- sive as the United States turned an fantes from Massingir along Born and raised in South Africa (he growing beef industry.) ProCana will Massingir Dam will provide water to ProCana, but ing chickens, and thin, lazy increasing percentage of its crop into a rough track, I pass a rust- served in the apartheid-era army), process its cane in a Brazilian-built there is no pipe to nearby villages yellow-brownA dogs scattered around ethanol. flecked sign announcing a re- Holtzhausen has taken Mozambican factory that can make both sugar and circular grass-roofed huts. In most vil- “It’s important to remember that Mo- location area for a community citizenship and married a Mozambican ethanol. It will lay miles of track to those stories are pure fiction: “I’ll give lage centres a hand-carved flagpole zambican independence was about lib- fromD the Limpopo Park – the move had woman of colour. He believes in the link the plant with the national rail you a million bucks if you find me one sports a national flag (crossed hoe and erating people and land,” Diamantino been publicly known for some time. I place. Many Afrikaners, he says, ask network. Trains will take around 36 of those farmers!” he brags, grinning AK47, nice bright colours). Take away Nhampossa, a land-rights activist, told stop in villages along the land ProCana million litres of ethanol a month down broadly. the occasional T-shirt, radio, and cell me. Mozambique’s constitution decrees has claimed and, following protocol, ask to the Maputo harbour, where it will be I’ve also heard that much of the phone, and the ever-present cheap that all land is owned by the state. In- to speak to the headman and elders in pumped into tankers and shipped to area ProCana aims to plant had previ- plastic buckets and chairs, and you dividuals and private companies can each. Everywhere the headmen tell me Europe. Once the operation is up and ously been slated to complete the de- have something like the Mozambique acquire rights to use parcels for 50- versions of the same story: Yes, peo- running, somewhere past 2011, ProCa- velopment of the peace park, but that of 500 years ago. Polygamy is common, year periods, but the country’s sweep- ple from the park are coming to live na will be massively profitable. Holtzhausen levered it away, leaving many children and cattle The story around Yes, Holtzhausen acknowledges be- the project in chaos. He laughs this off, are a sign of wealth, and fore I even ask, he’s putting his planta- too. I tell him of rumours that he got the village leader and Maputo is that tion in the driest part of Mozambique his land rights because powerful people his elders are not to be – but he’s investing a fortune in effi- had equity in the venture. (The story crossed. Villagers build cient drip irrigation. “You can’t produce around Maputo is that Graça Machel, their homes near a river, Graça Machel, wife a green fuel and waste water,” he says. widow of Mozambique’s first president plant crops in the fertile Still, ProCana will use more than 400 and now wife of Nelson Mandela, is in- floodplain, and graze cat- of Nelson Mandela, million cubic metres of water per year, volved in ProCana – though verifying tle in the nearby savan- supplied via canal from the nearby this is near impossible.) “No prominent nah; like 70% of their is involved in Massingir Dam on the Rio dos Elefan- people have invested in ProCana,” he compatriots, they rely on tes (aka the Olifants River upstream replies, after some thought. “But it will the land for their liveli- in South Africa). Mozambican newspa- only be good for me if she did.” Machel hood. ProCana pers claim that this has downstream is a friend, he says. “I would be hon- Mozambique was colo- farmers worried, but Holtzhausen says oured to have her as an investor.” An- nised by the Portuguese other triumphant smile. in the early 1500s; they Despite Holtzhausen’s disavowals, set up vast plantations out in Massingir I discover that many whose labourers were of ProCana’s 30,000 hectares had in- kept in line with brutal deed been identified rather precisely punishment. In 1975, af- (and publicly) as part of the develop- ter Portugal’s Carnation ment of the Transfrontier Park. Some Revolution, Mozambique 29,000 people still live within Limpopo was chaotically cata- National Park’s borders. As many as pulted into independ- 9,000, who live in the heart of the park, ence. The civil war that the area with the highest wildlife tour- followed, one of the Cold ism potential, are due to be relocated. War’s many proxy con- After years of delicate negotiations, flicts, shattered the coun- park authorities have arranged for the try’s infrastructure and “inner 9,000” to move to the valley of killed about a million peo- the Rio dos Elefantes, just downstream ple, before petering out in of Massingir Dam. They have – as Mo- 1992. To this day, bullet zambican law requires – obtained per- holes pockmark build- mission from “receiving” communities ings, amputees beg along to build houses for the newcomers and the roads, and crushing identified a sufficiently large grazing poverty strangles the area for the new residents’ livestock. country. During one of A ProCana map shows that the com- my trips to Mozambique pany’s 30,000 hectares cover this in- early last year, riots broke Ernesto Bandi Ngovene, headman of Chitar village, with his two wives and children outside his house Izak Cornelis Holtzhausen

26 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 27 K I N G S with us here, but we don’t know when. first. They made sure he said yes to the ESTATE AGENTS Yes, ProCana is taking a lot of land, project because they knew the other but we think there will be enough for chiefs in the valley would follow.” MARKET LEADERS IN them, the new people and their cattle. Details of land rights in the Massin- PARKTOWN NORTH In every village I’m told that ProCana gir area prove hard to find. The district PARKHURST has promised a house for the headman mapping office in Massingir has orders CRAIGHALL PARK and jobs for others, but while I do see from above not to release any informa- tion and the national mapping office in handwritten minutes of meetings with The only place you will find Limpopo Park employees that predate Maputo says they don’t have up-to-date Harris Steinman us in NOSEWEEK is right here ProCana’s arrival on the scene, they information on Massingir. After many Sign just outside ProCana land showing area have no written evidence of ProCana’s meetings I get my hands on several identified for the relocation of a community in the ANDREW 083 655 0366 promises. credible maps. They tell a story of ap- Limpopo National Park. The age of the sign – it was GREGOR 082 829 6969 Villagers have conflicting stories palling land chaos following ProCana’s beginning to rust – suggests that the resettlement was agreed to before ProCana arrived about how much land ProCana is tak- arrival. The company’s claim on the ing; eventually, some direct me to Er- Limpopo Park resettlement land has nesto Bandi Ngovene, nominally just left park officials scrambling to iden- arlos Castel-Branco, a respected the headman of tiny Chitar village but tify another place for the relocatees’ Mozambican economist, tells WATER LEAKS FOUND traditionally the leading headman for cattle. They’ve found one – but much me that the primary function the whole area. I find him reclining in of this land was previously identified of politicians in Mozambique is We detect and repair leaks underground the shade outside his home, barely able as a community-owned game reserve to mediate between competing and in walls Insulation audits done using to move after a stroke. After his wives Massingir fuel salesman in which a US conservation group, the privateC interests, including their own. infrared thermal imaging have lifted him into a seated position African Wildlife Foundation (AWF), They lack both the political will and SEE OUR WEBSITE FOR DETAILS and put a shirt on him he tells me he a GPS, it soon becomes clear that Pro- Holtzhausen had already invested hundreds of the administrative capacity, he says, www.findaleak.co.za cannot say exactly how much land Cana has taken more land than the thousands of dollars. The Chinhangane to build a modern state. The current 011 763 6306 has been promised to the people from elders say was agreed by the village. told me his Community Reserve project has now land rush – for biofuel plantations, Peter 083 651 6306 the park, or to ProCana. He can’t read The boundary marks, shown to me by collapsed (you will find no mention of it export-oriented farms, and private and he’s been too weak to go out to see people who were there when ProCana on the AWF website, where it once fea- hunting concessions – is the first stage where ProCana’s boundary is. hastily made them, do not add up to environmental tured) and South Africans, Americans, in a war over land that Mozambique’s One afternoon I run into a couple of the specified distances. and Mozambican military officers are fragile democratic and legal systems village elders when their headman isn’t Deep in ProCana’s claimed territory, experts found claiming fragments of it for private sa- might not survive. “The government is around. They tell me that in the middle I stop the 4x4. The bush rustles and fari and hunting operations. not politically capable of stopping this of their negotiations with the Limpopo sings. Birds are everywhere, and the On one map a big chunk of land ad- process of land speculation. People feel Park people, ProCana came along in savannah is filled with grey-barked and no trees of value jacent to ProCana’s carries the legend that the dignity of the state and of 4x4s and took all the valley’s headmen butterfly-leafed mopane trees, some of “Emelia Machel” – apparently she’s a themselves has been taken away. It’s away for meetings. These were not held the biggest and oldest I have ever seen. here. I’m not relative of Graça Machel. Maputo in- not hopeless, but it’s going to be a big in front of the communities or groups of A giant baobab, centuries old, provides siders say that Machel’s land is regis- fight.” elders, as is customary. Afterward, their a backdrop for a screaming flock of par- tered in as many different names as I present a nightmare, but plau- headman told them that he’d signed rots, while a black-breasted snake ea- sure where they possible, to avoid attracting attention. sible, scenario to ProCana’s Corné a paper giving ProCana a large piece gle hovers overhead. Holtzhausen told Local people tell me the Machel family Holtzhausen. His 30,000 hectare of the village’s land. They have never me his environmental people found no looked keeps cattle there, cattle that would be farm/factory, I tell him, will have seen this paper, they say, and they do trees of value here – charcoal burners, very profitably transported to market serious ecological impacts – lost not want to give away their land, but he said, cut them long ago. I’m not sure in Maputo should ProCana’s planned wildlife habitat, greenhouse gases ProCana came with powerful people, where those experts looked, because officially. Others tell me of ominous ru- railhead be built. released as natural vegetation is de- including a provincial governor, and here, in the perfectly cadenced after- mours that linked Nyimpine Chissano, From the maps it’s clear that much stroyed, massive water consumption they are afraid. They have been told noon light, is paradise. the late “gangster” son of former Presi- of the land around Massingir has and agrochemical pollution. On the that they have rights under the Land Back in Massingir I ask the Limpopo dent Joaquim Chissano, to ProCana. been allocated simultaneously to two, greater scale these might be consid- This space is a snip at Law, that they can say no to ProCana, Park administrators what they make of Chissano died in late 2007, a day be- sometimes three, different people or ered small, but ProCana is not alone. but they do not have a copy of this law. ProCana swiping the resettlement land fore being due to go on trial for “joint entities. This is widespread in Mo- When the numbers mount, millions O N LY Could I please send them one? from under their noses. They won’t say moral authorship” of the assassination zambique; in practice, land is owned of hectares of land can be ploughed Driving away from the village with much on the record except some boil- of Carlos Cardoso, Mozambique’s most by those who have the most influence, incredibly quickly. erplate about it being a fait accompli, famous journalist, who was machine- or the money to fence or patrol it, no If ProCana lures other investors by about the resettlement being delayed gunned in his driveway after exposing matter what the documents say. For- making a massive profit, I ask, who will R1800... but not scuttled, and that ProCana’s a massive foreign currency scam. eign governments and donor agencies stop his beloved Mozambique from be- 2,000 jobs could be a good thing for the I try numerous times, to no avail, to – which supply fully half the govern- ing turned over to vast pesticide-and- region. Massingir locals, who ask not to get formal government comment on ment’s budget – generally won’t get fertilizer-soaked monocultures? Why not try be named in my story, tell me ProCana ProCana and Mozambique’s broader involved in land disputes, even if these Holtzhausen smiles, a great gotcha made it very clear that it had the sup- plans for biofuels. A few administra- conflicts cause projects funded by their smile, and pauses. “People like you,” he it for size? port of “important people,” including tors do agree to talk – but only in se- own donors’ or taxpayers’ money to go says. “People like you who wear cotton President Armando Guebuza – a mil- cret. “ProCana were smart,” one official up in smoke (i.e. into Mercedes-Benzes shirts that take 25,000 litres of water lionaire politician-businessman who with intimate knowledge of the Lim- and Hummers for the fun-loving elite). to make. People who drive private cars [email protected] has his fingers in many pies and who popo park relocation tells me in a late- They refuse to upset the government, and fly around the world in aeroplanes. flew to Massingir to open the project night meeting in a Maputo restaurant. which, as it happens, is also busy hand- The consumer. That’s who determines “They approached the leader of Chitar ing out rights to a string of potentially what happens.” 021 686 0570 The sum total of entertainment in Massingir village [the stroke-hobbled Ngovene] lucrative gas, oil, and coal deposits. © featurenet.co.za

28 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 Monsanto admits

that some maize fields have suffered Notes & 50% losses updates lected by Gerzema and Lebar are recent arrivals in “brandworld” – Blackberry, Bubble? What bubble? Amazon, Google, Facebook, eBay and Wikipedia. Others have been around All a Bad Dream the block once or twice – Microsoft, Ap- ple, IBM, Starbucks, Subway, Nike and Virgin (which gets special praise for “brilliant basics, magic touches”). And veritable storm has broken out wants answered by the KZN health then there are a few real wrinklies – in the wake of the nose114 department. These include: brand, experts say, is a promise per day – brands actually enjoy little Adidas, Harley-Davidson, Disney, Coca report on The Dream Centre’s n How much money has been paid from a company to a consumer, trust, and advertising has lost the di- Cola, BMW, Lego, and GE (the authors fraudulent inflation of invoices to the Dream Centre? one that may become immense- Hans Muhlberg rect influence it once had. Today’s con- didn’t embarrass themselves by in- to the KZN provincial health n When did the department become ly emotional and personal, a reviews sumers tend to ask probing questions cluding GM). departmentA – and it appears the aware that the centre was allegedly promise which reinforces our about brands, and, for information on For those intent on ensuring that centre’s directors, the “Reverends” Les fraudulently inflating the number of identityA and self-worth, and which The Brand Bubble (Jossey-Bass), profits, go to sources other than adver- their brand becomes irresistible there’s Harris and Neville de Witt and their patients whose care was being subsi- makes us feel special and hopeful. In by John Gerzema and Ed Lebar tising – namely the internet and social bad news: a “unique selling proposi- sons, have been left without income dised? this sense, the brand belongs to the networks. In other words consumers tion” will no longer cut it. What a brand and nowhere to hide. n Who in the department was consumer rather than the company. now trust each other’s choices and opin- needs now is “energized differentia- No sooner had nose114 hit news- responsible for monitoring and audit- Clearly a brand is also, thereby, a com- ions more than they trust brand claims. tion”: “For a brand to sustain consumer tands than the office of KZN Premier ing the number of bed nights being pany asset, whose value is determined Which means that, although brand valu- interest it can’t just be different, it has S’bu Ndebele (now Transport Minis- claimed by the Dream Centre? on the basis of anticipated earnings. ations keep appreciating, brand percep- to keep being different.” ter) ordered PricewaterhouseCooper n Has a new service agreement for Gerzema and Lebar – US branding tions, and actual brand value creation, In essence, for a brand to get ahead to undertake a forensic audit into the facility been entered into by the experts attached to the Young & Ru- are depreciating. and stay there, change must replace their operations. Word got out al- department; if so, with whom? bicam Group – claim that at present What proof does the book give that consistency. Brands must, in fact, go most immediately that the provincial Answers to these questions may most world brands are hopelessly over- the brand bubble actually exists? Not into a state of constant renewal, subject- government was planning to sue the implicate the new Speaker of the KZN valued, and that the world is therefore much. We’re told that “credible evi- ing themselves to feedback in order to reverend directors – who neverthe- Parliament, Neliswa Peggy Nkony- experiencing a “brand bubble”. dence suggests that financial markets reshape themselves again and again, less went ahead with the advertised eni – until recently the KZN MEC Asserting that this presents a very think brands are worth more than continuously modifying and personalis- auction of The Dream Centre building, for health. As reported in nose114, dangerous situation, Gerzema and the consumers do who buy them”. Ac- ing. Quotes aplenty are provided to sup- and it was sold for R26m. However, comrade Nkonyeni did some high vis- Lebar claim that some 60% of the total cording to the authors, their research port this contention: “Consistency is the the provincial housing department, ibility PR for the reverends, including value of world business is now intan- foretells a significant loss of value for last refuge of the unimaginative” (Oscar which had granted the use of the officially opening the centre in 2005. gible, due to brand overvaluation. For many brands, that will jolt business Wilde), or, more prosaically; “The world facility to the directors’ NGO, quickly In June Nkonyeni was fighting to some individual companies the per- and investors alike: “Markets, being is changing very fast. Big will not beat stepped in to bar transfer to the win- have corruption charges against her centages are much higher: at Nike the about expectation, have pushed brand small anymore. It will be the fast beat- ning bidder. struck off the roll at the Pietermar- brand allegedly constitutes some 84% values to unsustainable levels, where ing the slow” (Rupert Murdoch). Then Meanwhile the KZN health depart- itzburg regional magistrates’ court. of the total value of the company, and the earnings potential imputed to there’s the authors’ own contribution: ment – apparently under pressure Nkonyeni is alleged to have received a at Prada it’s 73%, The brand bubble thousands of brands far outstrips their “Plus ça change, plus ça change”. from the premier’s office – suspended R20,000 cash bribe from Rowmoor In- represents some $4 trillion in market value to the consumer.” That’s about Energised differentiation requires all service agreements with the vestments (Pty) Ltd, which also paid capitalization, twice the magnitude of all the “evidence” we get. that the entire company must become Centre. At the same time, the wealthy her bill for a short stay at a luxury the subprime mort- The way to deal with the brand bub- marketing-driven, rather than sim- Porsche-driving Durban doctor who Cape Town hotel. In return, Rowmoor gage market, and ble, it turns out, is to manage one’s ply having a marketing department. had been plotting to take over the were apparently rewarded with the accounts for brand properly – and the preferred Hence the aphorism: “Marketing is too operations of the Centre, quietly tender to supply a Logiq E Compact over one third The authors claim that the problem tool for this just happens to be Young important to leave to the marketers.” withdrew her interest. The Centre has Ultra Sound device – at a price of of share- can be traced to a massive gap between & Rubicam’s BrandAsset Valuator. Marketers can also no longer be control therefore been closed down and staff R1.5m. holder what analysts and consumers think Irritatingly, this is what the book is freaks: instead of marketing brands to and patients sent home. The device, manufactured by Gen- value. about brands. Brand marketers are really about, notwithstanding breath- consumers, they must market them London-based Global Funds, which eral Electric Healthcare, retails for Scary working with the “optimistic assump- less suggestions on the sleeve that the with consumers, allowing customers to funds HIV work globally, contacted R425,000 through the sole authorised stuff. tion that someone else will always be brand bubble is leading the world to- “co-create”. Examples of personalised noseweek to say they would not hesi- agent in the country, Medhold GEMS. willing to buy what you are selling, re- wards another major financial crisis. products are the customised Nike shoe, tate to suspend their financial support A source in the KZN health depart- gardless of how irrationally high the Gerzema and Lebar nevertheless de- or CDs with software that lets listener/ for the KZN health department if it ment informs noseweek that Medhold price is relative to the bare facts of the clare that there are still extremely val- users remix the tracks. were established that the department GEMS had submitted their own bid, product’s underlying value”. uable brands out there, though they’re Energized differentiation involves had colluded in The Dream Centre but didn’t mind who got the tender, But in a world teeming with brands – few and far between. What they have in satisfying consumers’ desire for crea- fraud. since they would be supplying the US citizens, poor bastards, are bom- common, apparently, is “energy”, which tivity, which makes them feel good – Apparently the British Home Office device anyway. However, angry staff barded with some the authors relate to consumer percep- witness adults acting like kids in an has declined to grant either a travel in the health department alerted the 5000 market- tions of motion and direction. “Irresist- Apple store. It also means satisfying visa or residency permit to Gary de Scorpions, and Nkonyeni came under ing mes- ible brands”, in case you’re wondering, a desire for involvement – people like Witt who was also instrumental in the scrutiny for her role in the matter. sages are provocative, make people feel good to talk about brands on blogs, podcasts fraud. The Canadian authorities have No wonder Nkonyeni was appointed about themselves, engage consumers and social networks, and brands which refused to comment on the status of Mampara of the Week by the Sunday on their own terms, constantly rein- get consumers talking will succeed. the residency application made by the Times (23 Nov 2008), which referred vent themselves, and have armies of Marketers will love this book. Anyone other De Witt. to her as the “MEC for death” and the evangelists. People will always pay a expecting a Peter Schiff-type prophecy DA member of the KZN parliament “bride of Frankenmanto”, for encour- premium for irresistible brands. concerning the next economic crisis John Steenhuisen has submitted a aging “charlatans touting hocus-pocus Predictably, many of these se- will be seriously disappointed. set of questions to parliament that he potions for treating HIV”.

An actor – most definitely not the CEO of Monsanto – demonstrates30 world domination noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 31

Hans Muhlberg Al unpacksl in intellectualthem propertyind

the DTI misuses its position of per- ceived power, whereas ABVA misuses its position as an organisation rec- ognised by the DTI (the DTI logo ap- BEE: Who assesses pears on the ABVA website). The effect Patent weaknesses is that ABVA members benefit, at the expense of supplier businesses, who the assessors? feel obliged to use their services, and of Test before you litigate BEE consultants, who are losing work to ABVA members. On the ABVA question of evidence, obert Murray’s recent pat- Not too many people can even afford hose in business know all too well Verification Agencies), whose website the BEE consultants argue that it’s pre- ent case – widely reported – to register a patent. And of those who about BEE scorecards – ques- says that its raison d’être is to “lead cisely this issue that lies at the heart of against Vodacom exhibits a can, not too many can afford to defend tionnaires arrive that demand the black economic empowerment the problem. A supplier business can- dangerous weakness in South the patent from serious attack. details of your company’s “ra- verification industry ... to facilitate not be expected to reveal confidential Africa’s patenting system. It’s And does our “non-examining” sys- cial” make-up. Like a virus the the accreditation of qualifying BEE information – for example profit mar- oneR that isn’t about to be remedied – tem at least achieve the objective of wholeT thing spreads itself as far as it verification agencies ... and guide the gins – to a procuring company, because so fine-tune your ideas and make sure rewarding and therefore stimulating can go: company A needs company B’s development of the industry”. this would put it at a disadvantage. your research is up to date if you’re inventiveness? Perhaps. But not if the darkie credentials before they can do The directorate of this section 21 The consultants’ argument focuses applying for a patent. advice being given is along the lines of business together, so company B asks company looks remarkably like your on the fact that the BEE codes, which Murray had charged that the Voda- “yes I think I may have seen a wheel its supplier, company C, for its BEE typical South African company – a provide that businesses may opt for com technology that allows customers before, but let’s go ahead and patent it scorecard; company C then approaches black chair, five white directors and formal verification or self-assessment, to buy airtime directly from their cell and see if anyone complains”. its supplier, company D, for its score- one coloured director. Which suggests have not been amended, and should be phones, through the use of a PIN code, Supporters of the “hands-off” sys- card. And so on. that honkies are responsible for much upheld. In March, Minister of Trade infringed his patent. Talk before the tem agree that it’s not perfect, but ar- If the system was designed to ensure of the darkie verification going on. and Industry Mandisi Mpahlwa did case opined that if Murray won he’d gue that patenting under an “examin- that South African businesses stumble The other group of experts, “BEE sign a notice that, as from 1 August, be rolling in bucks. As it happened, he ing system”, like that of the US, costs about in uncompetitive confusion, it’s consultants”, simply assist businesses only certificates signed by accredited was left decidedly buckless. a lot more. Maybe so, but Rob Murray a masterstroke – whilst their foreign that opt for self-assessment. And it’s For starters, Judge Murphy held might have been a lot better off if he’d counterparts are concentrating on these guys who are fed up. In May that Vodacom’s product differed from had to invest a little more on having running their businesses, South Afri- eleven BEE consultants – led by one the system proposed in Murray’s pat- his patent tested and rejected, instead can entrepreneurs are filling in forms Ivan van der Merwe – lodged a com- ent. For afters, the judge also said yebo of spending millions chasing Vodacom – or, more often than not, paying BEE plaint with the Competition Commis- Before spending to Vodacom’s claim that Murray’s pat- under the illusion that his “patent” experts to fill in forms for them. sion against the Department of Trade ent had been anticipated by earlier was being infringed. Emex Trust is one such group of BEE and Industry and the ABVA, the crux patents. It lacked, in other experts, and the advertising on its web- of which is that these entities are time on what words, the required novelty site is as childish as it is disingenuous. squeezing the BEE consultants out of and inventiveness, and was Alongside a picture of a stressed-out business. therefore invalid. white businessman appear the words: This relates to the fact that the matters, you have to In fact, Vodacom’s claim “Before – I don’t have time to phone DTI’s position is that procuring en- that the patent wasn’t le- all my suppliers for their scorecards.” tities have the right to require that shell out for B-grade gitimate was simply the Then a pic of a chilled-looking white their suppliers formally verify their stock response to an in- businessman, with the words: “After BEE status. (The DTI also knows full fringement claim. The issue – I now spend time on the things that well that Transnet and Eskom, and labour lawyers is: why does this happen so matter.” No mention that before spend- some companies, like Tiger Brands, often? ing time on what matters, you get to insist on formal verification.) And the It stems from the fact that shell out for some B-grade labour law- ABVA, while acknowledging on its South Africa has a “non- yers to do your scorecard. website that the law allows for self- verification agencies shall be accepta- examination system”, with If another objective of BEE score- assessment, implies that this is not ble. But, argue the consultants, the no- the Patent Office playing a cards was to create a cushy little busi- really an option – giving a long convo- tice does not do away with the right of purely passive role. The up- ness for selected people, chalk that luted argument to the effect that self- self-assessment. They therefore want shot of this is that basically up as a big success too – BEE experts assessment must be accompanied by the Competition Commission to issue anything can be patented – have a captive market. “suitable evidence”, and that, as this an order requiring the DTI and ABVA which is fine, we’re told, be- Unsurprisingly, some people have fi- term is not defined, formal verification to publicly acknowledge the right to cause there are safeguards. nally had enough. Surprisingly, it’s not The empowerment is effectively required. opt for self-assessment. For example, if you’re sued the guys burdened by the bureaucratic The DTI and ABVA are involved, Furthermore, if a procurer, or its ap- on a bad patent you can bollocks who are complaining, but a says Van der Merwe, in a “concerted pointed verification agency do require apply to cancel it. Indeed group of BEE experts who make their business appears practice ... to unlawfully exclude busi- evidence to support a self-assessment, you can, but there’s a good living from it. ness entities from exercising their the parties must agree on an inde- chance you can’t. Few have Turns out there are two types of BEE rights to present their BEE rating sta- pendent assessor, who will be required the means to cancel a pat- expert. Some, like Emex Trust, are to be designed to tus by way of non-verified BEE certifi- to sign a confidentiality undertaking. ent – to do so you need to “verification agencies”, authorised to cates and/or BEE scorecards”. In other Finally; the procurer must pay the cost do some serious research provide businesses with official reports spread confusion words, they are preventing businesses of the assessment. on whether the technology verifying their BEE status. Many be- from opting for self-assessment. Ah yes – who assesses the asses- already existed at the time long to the ABVA (Association of BEE According to the BEE consultants, sors? the patent was filed.

32 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 33

Backbite First-time Comment & opinion subscribers: The winners...

Len Marais, Oude Westhof 7530 Reviewer accused of dark motives Mr B Malan, Tzaneen 0850

Mrs MMS Walker, here were numerous false state- mentator speaks like this? Seemingly, Bryanston 2021 ments in Gerald Shaw’s review Shaw’s object is to make Zuma look of books by Alec Russell and better, and Mbeki look worse, than ei- RW Johnson (nose116). Perhaps ther politician is or was. Is this simply Andre Louw, these statements derive from Do reactionary another hired propagandist, like Sipho Lumier 1905 theT books, but this does not mean Seepe or Xolela Mangcu? Unfortunate- that Shaw should endorse them. For white liberals see ly, the truth seems more sinister. Reinette Smith, instance, Shaw says that “under Mbeki Shaw says “there is much to suggest Centurion 0046 things began to fall apart”. His pretext that Zuma means business when he for the statement is that some whites Msholozi as an ideal says he will not tolerate laziness or in- emigrated (although, once apartheid competence”. Apparently Shaw is not collapsed, it was natural for conserva- black ally to recover joking; he wants us to believe that this tive or selfish whites to emigrate). He dishonest and self-indulgent president further complains of crime and AIDS is a paragon of integrity and industry. PERSON TO RECEIVE SUBSCRIPTION (in block letters, please): deaths, issues which Mbeki addressed white power? This is disinformation. more fully than any of his predeces- Shaw insists that the ANC should Subscribe to Title...... Initials...... Surname...... sors. The attack on Mbeki is thus asks Mathew appoint people on merit, but he adds feeble. “this would be fiercely resisted by the Postal address...... Shaw says that “Jeremy Cronin Blatchford black elite”, apparently meaning that spoke out against Mbeki’s Zimbabwe only white people have merit. Can it noseweek City...... Postcode...... policy”. Not true. Cronin actually be that Shaw’s agenda, like Johnson’s, referred to the “Zanufication” of the is about restoring the white domi- and SAVE OVER 20% Profession/Business...... Year of birth...... ANC. This flippant gibe aroused the The importance of Shaw’s fantasy nance which was lost in April 1994? ANC’s ire because the Western demon- is that it shows how profoundly he Does the reactionary political move- on the cover price. Tel.(...... )...... Email...... isation of Zimbabwe made association loathes Mbeki, as do most conserva- ment of modern “white liberalism” see with Zanu (PF) dangerous. The party tive white South African intellectuals. Zuma as an ideal black ally to recover This is a gift from (if applicable): demanded that Cronin explain or If this is the content of these books, white power? It’s easy ... retract. Since his remark was ground- then they are false. This is not odd; Shaw, Russell and RW Johnson are Choose one of these Title...... Initials...... Surname...... less, he retracted. RW Johnson, for instance, has told few speaking with one falsifying voice on straightforward options to get City...... Tel/email...... Shaw offers no evidence of “Mbeki’s truths about South Africa in three dec- this issue. your noseweek now! oppressive leadership style”; he cites ades. However, Shaw seems concerned It was only a couple of months ago This is A o New subscription o Renewal the disbanding of the UDF – yet it to fashion legitimacy for what seems that noseweek’s editor felt obliged Rate o Local @ R336 o SADC @ R446 o Foreign @ R530 o Internet edition @ R278 was arguably necessary, and Mbeki deep-seated intellectual dishonesty. to remind us that there were seri- o was not in power then. He also falsely For instance, Shaw says that John- ous charges against Zuma, which Subscribe on line at Online+print combined: add R132 to the cost of your print edition claims that Ramaphosa was “de- son’s hatred for the ANC [Shaw in fact would have sent him to jail had he www.noseweek.co.za or Payment METHOD ployed into business”, whereas, in fact, referred to Johnson’s “pretty jaundiced not enjoyed the support of the media email [email protected] o Cheque enclosed Ramaphosa chose a business career view of the ANC” – Ed.], South Afri- and – seemingly – the judiciary*. Now, 8 o Direct deposit to First National Bank; Vineyard Branch; Code 204 209; after losing the 1997 ANC presidential can democracy, and for black people the press commands us to hiss when CALL 021 686 0570 with election. in power, “can now claim some kind anyone even mentions Zuma’s record Acc: Mag Marketing; No: 620 2477 9623. (Fax deposit slip with this form.) Shaw’s claim that Mbeki was as- of vindication”. Race prejudice and of sexual irresponsibility and preda- your credit card details o Credit card: Master Card o Visa o Diners Club o ( Card number tonished by his defeat at Polokwane power-worship are actually as con- ciousness. Apparently the ruling class is malicious fantasy. Mbeki (who had temptible as ever. wants us to shut our eyes and sleep- Make out your cheque to been planning his retirement) knew Russell’s admiration for Zuma is walk into their future, as evangelised Mag Marketing and POST to his weak position well; he was only understandable, given his ignorance, by Mr Shaw. Last three digits on reverse of card Expiry date M M Y Y standing because nobody else dared but it appears to be corrupt. Shaw Are we wise to listen to him – or PO/ Box 44538, Claremont 7735 face the firestorm of abuse which (discussing Russell) talks of Zuma’s them? Cardholder’s signature opposing Zuma aroused. Secretary- “embarrassment over his relationship Mathew Blatchford teaches at Fort Complete the form Issue 117 General Motlanthe helped Zuma’s with his financial adviser”. The fact Hare University. supporters subvert the party’s organi- is Schabir Shaik solicited bribes for and FAX to: 021 686 0573 sation, Sexwale’s fake candidacy split Zuma from a French arms company * It is not the media but the ANC and partners that or email proof of payment to: the vote, and the violently anti-Mbeki and himself bribed Zuma for gain. set out to threaten the judiciary and elected Zuma media confused the public – Mbeki This is not “embarrassment”, this is 2 [email protected] president. The fact that Shaw still ‘hopes for the best’ went to Polokwane expecting to lose. crime. What kind of reviewer or com- might be thought naive but it is hardly sinister. – Ed.

34 noseweek Ju l y 2009 noseweek Ju l y 2009 35 Marike Harold WebDreaWeb Dreams ms Roth Last Word Strachan appeared the wine had got very sticky, jel- lified, as it were. it was almost taken for granted that I gave it some thought, laterally, and they would eventually have the kinds reclassified it as jam. Perfect for the kids’ of question-answering capabilities school sarmies. The lovely fumes filled the Is there life after Google? that we now begin to see in Wolfram Shiraz shambles house and the street, a pair of sunbirds Alpha. buzzed about Susie’s bag along the way “You enter your question or calcu- to the Berea Girls’ School. Next day she lation, and Wolfram Alpha uses its brought home a letter from her teacher built-in algorithms and growing col- saying there had been an infestation lection of data to compute the answer, liano Marchio, now, was both Capie of flies in her classroom and asking ecently some friends of mine posted online.) based on a new kind of knowledge- and Roman, I mean he really knew please not to put strange substanc- got into an argument about But as useful as a Google search based computing.” (http://blog.wolf- about grapes and wine, had no need es on my daughter’s sandwiches the title of a movie in which may prove, it nevertheless falls far ram.com/2009/03/05/wolframalpha- to posture about these things; also any more. Well we didn’t have such Charlize Theron plays a serial short of what some people imagined is-coming/) he knew about guitars, made his infestation in our kitchen, but I let killer. I whipped out my lap- only a few years back about the capa- Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? own,U brought the Baroque to life, so he had it pass. In any case the jam had by topR and Googled “Theron” and “killer”. bilities of computers. Remember “Hal” Then came the official launch of no need to posture about music either. Uli now got so thick it was impossible The title of the movie came up on the from 2001: A Space Odyssey? Comput- Wolfram Alpha on 18 May. Since then, was a great big bugger, make no mis- to spread without tearing up the first response. As a result, no blows ers are still incapable of answering a I have queried Wolfram Alpha on a take, with carpenter’s great big hands, surface of the bread. Yet it seemed a were exchanged and no relationships simple question posed in simple syn- large number of subjects. Surpris- a unique Afrikaans Italian English ac- shame not to find some other applica- damaged. The movie is Monster, by tax. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re ingly, the answer I have been given cent, and when he spoke you had better tion for such worthy stuff; I gave it

the way (www.chasingthefrog.com/ eight years past 2001. is usually: “Wolfram Alpha isn’t sure listen. The grape is a European berry, Illustration: Harold Strachan much deeper lateral thought and reelfaces/monster.php). But... what to do with your input.” said Uli, winter rainfall, as in Rome decided simply to rereclassify it as So I don’t worry too much about For the last while the internet has To give Wolfram Alpha its due, it and Cape Town, and it is strange to project glue. And it worked very such situations. For years now, I’ve been abuzz with rumours of a new in- does give answers to mathematical me to see such fine wines come out of well, in my opinion. Susie’s next been an obsessive Googler. If I can’t novation in data access, called Wolf- equations quite readily. I tested it Brisbane which is a summer rainfall place; project involved sticking cut- remember a trifling fact, a news inci- ram Alpha. I first came across this with 2 + 2 and it quickly affirmed my what sorts of cultivar do they have there, outs of the continents on a map dent from a few years ago, or a cer- about three months ago. I even signed sneaking suspicion that the answer is hey, and why can’t you make wine in Durbs of Pangea, but the following day tain date, I head straight for the near- up for regular emails from the devel- 4. Since my interest in maths doesn’t too, which is about the same latitude nogal? Susie brought back a letter from est online computer and enter a few opers. Granted, I received only one go far beyond such equations, consid- Good question. The Catawba is a summer her headmistress saying there was crumbs of information – a couple of response, from “The Wolfram Team”, er me satisfied on that account. rainfall grape and I had a garden wall twen- now an infestation of cockroaches words, a title, a line of dialogue – and which read “Thank you for signing up But I must admit to being a bit ty metres long with vines growing thick and and if I cared to examine my daughter’s eventually a Google search will sup- to receive release news about Wolfram disappointed overall. According to in- lush along its entire length. I watched and project I would perceive such cockroaches ply me with the information I want. Alpha. We have been pleased to see ternet lore Wolfram Alpha was devel- waited like anything, small green pinheads had entirely eaten Africa. It almost makes human memory su- the strong interest in the progress of oped by a mathematical wunderkind growing to full powdery black beautiful But the poor are always with us. I took perfluous. Wolfram Alpha, and we look forward (named Wolfram, by some strange co- bunches, picked a dozen Checkers bagfuls One day one the two jars and placed them next to Co- It works for any bit of information, to sharing more with you soon.” (www. incidence) who got his PhD while still and got young Joe to wash his feet and jump hen’s Delicatessen with a discreet little trivial or otherwise – Google helps wolframalpha.com/about.html) in nappies – so perhaps my questions on them in the family bath. I have heard of these pals note inviting some starving passer-by who find the answer. The trick is to get on- But I remained intrigued by infor- were a bit lowbrow. the Catawba aroma described as foxy, deep, couldn’t afford the delicatessen to take line before an argument becomes too mation that kept “leaking” I decided to aim a bit higher and heady. It hung thick on the bathroom air. My who was a them home to her/his family for a treat. heated. out about this supposed ask a question that stymied medieval wine will be in the nature of Shiraz, thought Next day there came that heavy knocking Of course, Google has its limita- revolution in processing philosophers. I timidly typed “How I. It remained only to find traditional bot- at the door. Policemen in a passing car had tions. It merely guides you to online and accessing data. many angels can dance on the head tles, green, elegant. forward, cocky noticed at Cohen’s Corner something which content, which may or may not Such lines as these of a pin?” But by the time all was ready for bottling I their training told them was Semtex, a par- contain information germane to had me quivering The answer came almost instanta- hadn’t found any, and settled for temporary little devil ticularly evil high explosive from the Czech the given disagreement or for- in anticipation: neously. storage in a couple of those big Ball jars my Republic, and sorry sir, their minds had in- gotten factoid. Often enough, “Indeed, when “Angels are pure intelligences, not granny had used for bottling peaches and climbed up stantly turned to me. Did I mean to demol- the Google search will pro- computers were material, but limited, so that they things. Two of them I left on the kitchen ish the delicatessen and kill Mr Cohen on vide links to websites that first imagined, have location in space, but not exten- shelf for a couple of months for maturation, behalf of the Palestinians or something? If have nothing whatsoever sion. Therefore, an infinity of angels the perfume wafting about the house, out on a kitchen not, would I now in good faith come with to do with the information can be located on the head of a pin.” the front door and right down our lane – them personally to put the stuff in the bomb being sought. That’s Illustration: Meg Jordi I take this as evidence that Wolf- you could catch a delicious whiff right down stool with a disposal truck? Please. where the human fac- ram Alpha has a sense of humour. at Cohen’s Corner Tea Room and Delicates- The street was sealed off with CRIME tor comes in. Not only And that goes a long way. I am now sen. The kids would bring their pals into teaspoon so he SCENE tape. The truck had a big ferro- must one discern dif- eagerly anticipating Wolfram Zeta. the kitchen for a sniff. And one day one of concrete and steel bucket at the back. I put ferences between var- these pals who was a forward, cocky little could sample a the Shiraz in the bucket. Sir, said the police- ious sources of infor- devil climbed up on a kitchen stool with a man, would you be so kind as to come with It is with great sadness that we learnt mation, but one must teaspoon so he could sample a little sip, ex- us and take it out again? We slowly drove judge whether or not that Marike Roth died at Louisville plaining that since he was now thirteen his little sip to the middle of the old rifle range back of what is provided is Hospital, Kentucky, on 14 June. The dad allowed him a modest glass after Satur- the Umgeni mouth mangroves. I took the accurate. (In case you angels on that pinhead will have to day lunch so he knew about wines all right. Shiraz from the bucket and placed it upon hadn’t noticed there’s make room for a large spirit. – Ed. But it turned out he couldn’t sip it because the ground. They gingerly packed it around a lot of nonsense it adhered to the spoon. On examination it with demolition charges and blew it up.

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