"NETWORKING AND MENTORING OF FUTURE AFEMAI LEADERS":

THE MEANING OF LIFE AND THE ESSENCE OF CONTRIBUTION

BEING A PAPER

BY

IFUEKO OMOIGUI OKAURU, MFR

EXECUTIVE CHAIRMAN

FEDERAL INLAND REVENUE SERVICE &

CHAIRMAN, JOINT TAX BOARD

@

THE AFEMAI WORLD CONGRESS, MICHIGAN, USA

30TH JULY, 2011 "Networking and Mentoring of Future Afemai Leaders." – The meaning of Life and the essence of Contribution by Ifueko Omoigui Okauru

Protocols

It is indeed a great privilege to be given the honour among such a distinguished group of people, to deliver a paper at this convention. Thank you very much indeed.

I commend the organisers of this forum, all the members and executives of the Afemai World Congress for your efforts and dedication to the best interests and development of Afemai land and . Your efforts are surely appreciated and recognised.

My paper dwells on the theme of this convention and hopefully communicates that indeed the theme chosen constitutes the essence of life and what we need to do daily as we strive for growth and development in every facet of our lives.

In the words of Chinua Achebe “when we come together it is not because everyone cannot see the moon from his own compound or because everyone does not have food to eat; we come together because it is good to gather together”. Looking across this hall, that wise observation makes all the sense in the world to me and perhaps even more so to some of you who have not had the opportunity to go home for some time now and for those of us meeting ourselves for the very first time.

1. Who are the Afemai? Any different from other groups? Or distinction is just in the area we come from

As sourced from Wikipedia, “ The Afemai as they exist today in , Nigeria, are mostly found in six local Governments in the State, namely: Estako West, Estako East, Estako Central, Owena East, Owena West, Akoko-Edo. Historical traditions state that the Afemai migrated from Kingdom sometime in the 15th Century”. (Hmmm…, looks like my husband decided to relive those days!)

“Traditionally, the Afemai are mostly farmers and hunters. However in modern times they have embraced diverse professions. Afemai are generally highly educated and their sons and daughters have excelled in various fields of endeavor within and outside Nigeria. Afemai have very strong traditional roots and are structured into

2 | P a g e July 30, 2011 Detroit, Michigan "Networking and Mentoring of Future Afemai Leaders." – The meaning of Life and the essence of Contribution by Ifueko Omoigui Okauru villages, clans and tribes governed by various traditional rulers. In terms of resources, there are significant mineral resources located in Afemai land, such as: granite, gold, and various others. Afemai lands are fertile and produce several cash and staple crops and there are quite a number of industries sited within Afemai land. The Afemai are generally regarded as hardworking, industrious and determined people and have been trailblazers in several fields. In addition to all these, Afemai are known to have strong communal roots and respect for traditional institutions and tradition.”

From the perspective of a newcomer to Afemai, the Afemai are wonderful people who are taking their environment for granted. Infact, my love for my husband further deepened when he took me home for the first time. I felt like I belonged almost immediately – to the hilly terrain, to the natural setting, to the people. Once when I was sick and stressed out, a visit to Igarra and particularly Somorika on a motor bike, up there on the hills with its clean air, was an immediate cure. The Ososo was a delight to see and experience when I visited last year in April 2010, during the Itakpo festival that is held (just like the Igarra – Aba Festival) every seven years.

If you ask me, I wonder why an Afemai man or woman would want to live anywhere else. I haven’t visited Agenebode, but I hear we may even have our own beaches! We can build our own tourist attraction (ensuring as we do so that we leave the terrain unspoiled) and even more so building wonderful retirement homes for the aged!

I also wonder what would happen to the great heritage of cocoa and snail farming that our fathers had? Who will till the farms? Who will give us food security that we had? So many opportunities…waiting to be tapped.

2. State of Afemai community and the need for contribution

The Afemai today is one that is not constrained by geographic boundaries alone but one that encompasses a people that are located worldwide. The affinity of such people is driven however by the maintenance of the geographic boundaries and cultures in ways that reinforce the need to exist and the need to constantly be together. This therefore means that we must constantly strive to keep our language, our culture and our lands developed to be relevant to us as we progress in life. Development doesn’t mean change the western way, but it means keeping up with what is relevant to the people especially from the perspective of enabling livelihood and enabling healthy existence. The challenges of today’s Afemai are many and include amongst others –

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1) the absence of modern infrastructure to support a thriving community – water, well-equipped schools and hospitals, access roads (suited to the terrain), power and communications access; 2) a growing young population without jobs and without direction; 3) a growing dispersed population that may never remember where they come from with a high risk of being absorbed by other societies which they would then claim as their own. We cannot afford this to happen.

We cannot also leave it to our son – Governor to do it. It should be seen as a collective responsibility of all Edos regardless of whether they are Afemai or not, a collective responsibility of all Nigerians. Government no matter how good cannot do it alone. That is why we can only encourage our sons and daughters such as Dr. Andrew Dongo, who gives some of his time in a week to run a clinic in Igarra, or Prof. Ekundayo, who runs a mortuary in the area at Ibillo and many others like them. We need more of such people who invest not just funds but their time and ideas in the community.

The taxes that we collect not just within Edo State but also within Nigeria as a whole are meant to assist such development. That is why when the Federal talks about collaborating with the State, it should be seen not with distrust but as a journey towards collaborative funding of development.

But taxes alone cannot do it. Revenues collected and funds raised from other sources must be utilized and the people must be committed to development.

3. Who are the future leaders? Our age group? Those older than us? Those younger than us?

In 2000, when I was awarded the Global Leader of Tomorrow by the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, I wondered about the nomenclature. When my CV is cited and reference is made to that award, I still ponder about it. Does it mean I will always be a leader of tomorrow and not today? I presume therefore that the word future leader is just a phrase for the next minute, the next day and not some distant time in the future. I presume that the phrase refers to the need to develop a new crop of leaders on a continuing basis. Such persons, whatever their age, would constantly identify new areas to conquer, new areas to lead by example. There should not be any age barrier. Some of us can lead at sixteen (16), whilst others can discover themselves at sixty (60). It’s never too late to lead and add value to the lives of others.

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I commend the association for this annual event and hope that we use the opportunity to bring the very young and the very old to such events just in case new ideas emanate thereafter. It is also important to deliberately target the youth who have a longer period of time ahead to deliver and make the vision behind this association sustainable.

As we develop future leaders, the question that begs the mind is leaders for what? We should assume it’s for all facets of life – for home, work as well as for the Afemai, Nigeria and Global communities.

Even as our focus is on the Afemai community, we also need to recognise that we are building future leaders of the world who will represent Afemai in whatever they do.

4. Why is Networking important?

A lot of us use and are familiar with social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn etc. A lot of us use it to share photos and thoughts, but how many of us actually use it to advance our careers? Ultimately, networking should enable us advance professionally.

Permit me to refer to extracts on networking on the website - http://www.how-to- change-careers.com/what-is-networking.html.

• Networking is defined as ‘a process where you develop long term relationships with others for mutual benefit.’ It is not about finding a quick fix to your career change and job search problems. • Networking is about building relationships, not just filling an address book with as many names and numbers as possible. It is a two-way process where you make contacts that may be beneficial to you, but where you also offer information and assistance in return. Do not expect to get the magic answer to your career change questions at a single meeting. • Networking should become a lifelong habit that you use throughout your career - and it can be relevant and useful outside of work too! • Networking enables you to: o Research career ideas o Identify new possible career paths o Understand more about particular occupational areas o Learn from the experience of others

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o Build up a team of people who can support you in the career change process o Identify particular people who can act as mentor for you o Find out about jobs and other opportunities that may not be advertised o Create a pool of relevant contacts who know, trust and respect you o Explore or market self-employed business opportunities you are developing o Develop your soft skills e.g. communication, listening o Networking know how suggests that you should develop a mindset that where you take advantage of casual meetings that happen unexpectedly. You never know when you might meet someone who could give you just the lead you need to move the career change process forward.

This convention is an excellent opportunity for networking. I hope that as we gather every year, we seek ways of supporting each other not just in the US but worldwide. We should also include future leaders back home in Nigeria who may never have an opportunity of being at such fora. I am glad that the association is thinking of having a medical mission later this year and has given scholarships to Afemai youths in the past whilst planning to do same in the future. But we can still do more.

We can help share our experiences with others through career talks that focus not just on our chosen field but on the entire value chain of the industries we serve. We can help others learn from our past mistakes so that they leverage on what we have learnt and do even better.

Let me use this opportunity to invite all Afemai people who will be attending the Aba festival in Igarra on August 13 2011 to be a part of the opportunity I am providing for to educate our youths on the various possibilities available for them.

Networking also means exposing those borne in the US to other cultures and environments especially the Afemai culture and environment. Education is not just limited to western education. It also includes home education and what one may call education of our roots. It makes the person born in the US more grounded and able to see things from a much wider perspective giving such a child a competitive advantage over his colleagues.

Networking is for all personality types. It is not just for persons that consider themselves as “extroverts”. The difference is that you tailor your approach to suit your personality.

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5. What Mentoring is required?

As described on www.ehow.com , mentoring is a relationship between an experienced person and a less experienced person for the purpose of helping the one with less experience. The protégé, or mentee, seeks the advice and support of the more experienced person. Mentors answer questions concerning the tasks that their protégés need to succeed in reaching their goals. The mentor provides wisdom, guidance and counseling as mentees advance their lives, careers or education. The write-up (on www.ehow.com) on mentoring also goes further to explain different types of mentoring that include: • Informal mentoring - when a person forms a spontaneous relationship with another person---often a new employee or student---to come alongside him in a new endeavor. In this casual relationship, the new person seeks guidance and counseling from the more experienced person. • Structured Mentoring - involves organizations, companies and schools creating structured programs. They appoint inexperienced newcomers with experienced people to train and support them as they work toward their goals. Many structured mentoring programs include goals of leadership development, diversity and retention of newcomers. The structure may provide one-on-one mentoring or a network of mentors. • Peer mentoring - assigns mentees to someone with experience who is in their age group. Peer mentoring usually occurs in educational settings, either consisting of one-on-one relationships or group mentoring. • Group mentoring - consists of a mixture of experienced and new people working together to support one another. Groups meet face to face and via electronic conferencing at a designated time to discuss issues. • Community-based programs - provide mentors to children, young people and the needy. Mentors in community programs work to positively influence the lives of those in their care. Mentoring could include taking children on social outings and helping them with homework. Most of the children in these programs have been neglected or abused. • In addition to traditional mentoring programs, various industries have set up online mentoring programs for people who cannot meet face to face with experienced people. These organizations, counsel small business owners, work with people around the world who are seeking advice on business and education. These companies use online conferencing tools or telecommunications to connect mentors with mentees on designated days.

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The various mentoring programs described above (and more) can be used for persons in the United States (who themselves need mentoring) as well as persons in Nigeria, and in other countries who will need such guidance especially with regard to understanding who they are and how they can contribute to building a stronger Afemai community. In considering mentoring, we must first determine the nature of mentoring required if it is to achieve the necessary objectives. Mentoring may be direct or indirect and it may be formal or informal. Mentoring at a very basic level should be able to give the mentee a direction and principles to guide him or her in his chosen field of endeavour. Mentoring could be about life choices, education and career options, confidence- building, life skills and the like. What is important is that it impacts and that the mentee can see value added from the mentoring process. Mentoring cannot be successful if done in half measures. What this means to us as a people is that we must mentor the next generation to have the right values, skills, attitude, outlook and mindset about all areas of life. It will not do to mentor someone to have excellent skills in sports for example, but have poor family values. It must be all encompassing.

It means we must groom a generation of leaders by instilling in them virtues and values that will stand them in good stead in their endeavours. It means that we must raise the next generation to be adept at creating value for themselves and for society, to be forward thinking in terms of wealth creation and to be so minded as to create legacies for themselves to the benefit of man and the glory of God. It stands to reason that a person who receives guidance from early on in life will be less prone to errors in choices – errors which often have profound, even fatal consequences in the long run.

Many of our youth are in effect stillborn in this regard not literally of course but in the sense that they are so ill equipped for life that they are almost certain to fail, but for an act of divine intervention. As the Holy Book says, train up a child in the way he should grow and when he is grown he will not depart from it. One of the most commendable characteristics of the traditional African society, ours inclusive, is that children were raised by the entire village, the entire community.

We should therefore see it as our collective responsibility to raise well rounded individuals who can hold their own among their peers anywhere in the world. The

8 | P a g e July 30, 2011 Detroit, Michigan "Networking and Mentoring of Future Afemai Leaders." – The meaning of Life and the essence of Contribution by Ifueko Omoigui Okauru benefits of mentoring include improving the mentee’s sense of self-worth and inculcating skills that will aid in efficient utilization of human and material resources.

6. Not just Afemai but Nigeria as well

Whereas the focus is largely on the future Afemai leaders, Afemai is only as strong as Nigeria could be. Whatever rubs well on Nigeria, rubs well on Afemai and vice versa. Whilst we work on improving our Afemai Community, we need to recognise the need to contribute to building a better country – Nigeria, and a better world, wherever we are.

7. Realities of being in the Diasporas

Whilst we may acknowledge that we can’t deny our roots, some of us are faced with real dilemmas:

a. Are you coming back home? Can you come back home?

b. Can we bring our children back home? Will our children ever connect back home? Can they?

c. Whereas some of us want to, our spouses and other members of our family are vehemently against it. How do we manage such situations?

d. Do we have the capacity or ability to contribute?

My advice is that contribution and building a stronger community will require different strategies from all of us depending on our situation – some to come home, some to contribute funds either when alive or when dead, some to setup online programs, some to give their time and encourage others who have the ability or capacity. Whatever our strategy, let’s remember home and contribute.

8. The Unabomber and Anders Breivik factor

Many of us have read of the recent tragedy in Norway. What some of us may not realize is that we all have a role to play to reduce hate in the world. Hate by those who wonder why we leave our homes to take advantage of their societies without

9 | P a g e July 30, 2011 Detroit, Michigan "Networking and Mentoring of Future Afemai Leaders." – The meaning of Life and the essence of Contribution by Ifueko Omoigui Okauru contributing to ours. Hate by those consumed by anti-immigration policies. Hate by those who wonder why we can’t help ourselves. When a group feels that another group is taken advantage of their wealth it breeds hatred of a kind that could become uncontrollable. Hate is reduced when there is more perceived equity and fairness across the world. We have a role to ensure that even as we live in new communities, we never forget our roots and also assist in bringing up all others in such a manner that no-one feels more disadvantaged than the other. We also have a role to teach the communities in which we live that we too are contributing to the world stage, bringing new ideas, new habits, new ways that are of benefit to everyone.

9. The meaning of Life and the essence of contribution

As one gets older, and one philosophizes on life, one wonders what life is all about anyway. In our presence we see our parents grow old and in some cases die. In our presence, we have had children and seen them leave home to live their own lives. In our presence, we are aging, having more pains and aches as we get older, we see our physiology change and our struggles to stay healthy even as we age. We have learnt over time that even though money helps your day to day, health is what truly makes you able to move on.

So why do we do what we do? My theory is that we live to make the world a better place. We live to give others hope for a better life.

We live not just because of our children we live because of our selves so that we can be fulfilled with our lives and know that our lives have been worth living.

We need to recognise that life is finite and the time we have is limited. The more we can do in the shortest period of time the better.

So what keeps you fulfilled? If you are at this convention, then being a member of the Afemai Community definitely makes you fulfilled. If so, what are you doing to further develop this community either here, in Nigeria or elsewhere? You have several choices you could choose any or a combination of these and more:

a. Go home and contribute your skills in person

b. Contribute from diaspora - in kind, in cash, online programs etc.

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c. Bequeath at your death…remember your children and wards are independent of you. Also, the less you give your children, the more secure and stable your family is

d. Influence others to contribute

e. Speak well of your Country, community and culture

f. Document history for posterity

You also have choices in the various areas in which you can contribute:

a. Agriculture – enabling people have a good livelihood within the village community

b. Cemetery development to assist the aged have a befitting burial place

c. Medical Services

d. Practical contribution to Primary, Secondary or Tertiary Education – Teaching, school development, online programs etc.

e. Preserving the Language and culture

f. Programs for the Aged and disadvantaged

g. Security

h. Vocational Training and other Skills Development

i. Water and other infrastructure

j. Other

The networking and mentoring skills as described above will assist in whichever way we choose to contribute. Ultimately it’s about making our lives meaningful wherever we are and being fulfilled members of society. As you do so, learn from the mistakes of others and plan your own strategy as is suitable to you.

God bless Afemai, God bless Edo State, God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria, God Bless the World.

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Thank you all.

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