Ignite the Gift You Are

7 Master Keys to Awaken Your Passion, Power and Profits

The Manual for those who want true influence, those that want to change people’s lives to and make a real difference; Coaches, Facilitators, Healers, Trainers, Speakers, Parents, Grandparents, Husbands and Wives.

Gary Acevedo, M.S.W.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 1 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Acknowledgments:

First I need to acknowledge my first mentor Mel Wasserman, the founder of Cedu Foundation. He was an unrecognized genius who created modalities of healing that were more than a generation ahead of his time. Mel created processes that would eventually come to be known as Connected Breath, Inner Child work, Gestalt Therapy, Primal Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Validation Therapy, Encounter, Marathons, est and the Forum, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), and many others before they were ever presented to the public or written in books by other innovators. Being in Cedu was a dream of transformation and enlightenment. Although I have an abundance of mentors to be grateful for, I want to single out Werner Erhard for his unique impact on me and the world, and the inspiration he provided me in dedicating my life to a “world that works for everyone.” My other mentors include Cora Adams, Mac Gift, Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, and so many other master healers. Next, I give acknowledgement to both my Mom and Dad; great spirits whose challenges were essential to mold me into the healer I am. Also, I am grateful for my sister Lore who was also not only dear to me, but a vital part of my personal healing process. My son Eli’s was the light of my life and in raising him saved my life. To his daughter Lyrika who will always be in my heart. My son Derek is the now the great light of my life and my greatest teacher. My wife Laura; a truly amazing human being and gifted healer, who has been the love; the carrot that God puts in front of me to get me to work through my personal challenges. Her children Christina, Jared and Analisa are the most special kids I’ve ever met, and a true tribute to their mom’s outstanding talents as a mother. My brother Steve was my closest connection growing up. My brother Rob always wanted more for me. My sister Roses has been my hero and model for motherhood. She and husband Richard raised Nathaniel, the only national champion (2 times) I have ever known. Megan my ex-wife who was always a true friend and a great gift to me through the years. To my nieces and nephews Anna, Christopher, Marcus, Abriel and Chris their mother who are sources of so much joy. My cousin Becky and her children Brandon and Marissa who have devoured this work and shown me what is possible. Also to Marie Hale who supported me weekly to write and polish this book and without whom I would never have finished it. Finally the people who were my clients over the years who have forgiven my huge flaws and given me so much by allowing me to serve them and learn the joys of making a difference. I am privileged to have loved with all my heart so many bright spirits.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 2 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Awakening the Gift You Are 7 Master Keys to Ignite Your Passion Power and Profits

Table of Contents Introduction: The Origins of My Quest for Awakening

Part I: My Quest for Awakening Ch. 1: My Quest for Healing Begins Ch. 2: Crossing the Threshold into a New Realm

Part II: The Path to Your Dream Ch. 3: The Chrysalis Paradigm: Problems as Hidden Strengths Ch. 4: Your Greatest Barriers Are Your Greatest Gifts Ch. 5: How Life Works: The “Path with Heart” Model Ch. 6: The Nature of True Being Ch. 7: The Two Theaters of Consciousness Model

Part III: The Seven Master Keys Ch. 8: Centering: The Art of a True Response Ch. 9: Honoring Your Truth Ch. 10: Asking at 100% Ch. 11: Admitting What is in Your Heart Ch. 12: The Intent to Empower Ch. 13: Choosing & Creating Ch. 14: Living in the Dream

About the Author – Biography References and Quotations

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 3 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Introduction: The Origins of my Quest for Awakening

As a young child I didn’t know the Master Keys, I lived them! I still remember running with excitement and wholehearted passion out to the field to play with my brother and sister behind our house in Southern California. The grass in the field grew chest high and we could hide and play in it forever. At 5 years old I had no idea that I had limits. I remember knowing that I was magical and the world was magical. One day when the Santa Ana winds were blowing hard, we put our coats on so we could let the tumbleweeds bounce off our chests as if we were Superman. As the giant balls flew toward us, our hearts were pounding, and when they hit us and bounced off, I had a feeling that lifted me to the heavens. I knew something- something so true and so powerful that I had to shout it out to the world. "I am the Wind!" I shouted at the top of my little lungs. In that moment, I knew that I was the power and magnificence that is the wind! Things changed quickly, though, as soon as I got to kindergarten. I was small for my age and the bullies terrified me. Before school one day, a group of them walked up to me and shouted their taunts. “You’re a Mexican!” They were brutal. I didn’t even know what that was, but I could tell by their tone it wasn’t good. “You’re a Mexican!” they kept jeering as they pushed me around. Anyone who was ridiculed as a young child, made to feel different, outcast, unacceptable knows the devastation I felt. I felt wounded and devastated and I went home crying, brokenhearted. My mother was in the kitchen, making lunch. I ran up to her, tearful with the bad news. “Mom, Mom. Guess what?” "What is it? What’s wrong?” “I’m a Mexican. It’s true. The kids at school told me—I’m a Mexican.” She only smiled quizzically and said: “Honey--I know.” Life got harder. My parents had been forced to marry at a young age when my mother got pregnant. As time went on, things got rougher and rougher for them. They yelled at each other every day, taking out their anguish on their children. A few months after school started, my mother had a nervous breakdown and was taken away. I didn’t know if she would ever come back. I fell in love with the girl next door and felt devastated when she moved away, the bullies continued to beat me up—and that was just kindergarten! Like many of us, I shoved my bad feelings under the carpet and spent my days trying to cope, trying to be okay, to be" good enough," trying to fit in, trying to be accepted and loved, trying, trying, trying. This was the beginning of my quest for healing.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 4 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo My Quest for Healing The first pinnacle moment of my healing was a “breakthrough” process at the Cedu Foundation when my entire world and reality transformed. Let me share a short excerpt from Chapter Two’s “My First Breakthrough Process” describing the profound awakening experience that started my quest for healing and is available to you:

(After many deep processes) “And then, somehow I just let go. And when I let go, all of the tension let go of me. I could see and feel something I didn't understand at the time and now know as "energy" come from the earth and fill me and surround me. It seemed to lift me higher and higher and higher still, more and more rapidly, like an elevator in my consciousness, going faster and faster and higher and higher until something within me exploded with a radiant white light. A little voice said, "Top floor!" Sitting in my chair, I was now filled and overflowing with the most exquisite experience of my life. There were no words for it. In that extraordinary moment, I knew exactly what I had been searching for my whole life, and I was now filled to the brim with it! I knew that I was 'right now' experiencing fully what I had longed for from the depths of my soul. I knew I hadn't known anything close to this release, this ecstasy, since I was a five-year-old Superman bouncing the tumbleweeds off my chest. I finally knew what true freedom was. I knew that people in the “real world’ typically don’t have a clue what this freedom is like. They understand the concept of freedom, but for the most part they don’t know the experience. I knew that this freedom was who I truly was, and that who I was is indescribably precious, radiant and magnificent! In this moment, I had a direct experience of my soul, my divinity. I knew without a doubt that I could be no more filled. My joy was so obviously overwhelming, that the people around me were moved to tears, happy for me. My counselor Eli turned to me and whispered in my ear, "Welcome home, Gary."

It fascinates me no end to realize that although since then I have traveled the globe immersing myself in over 35 different healing technologies including Primal Therapy, Gestalt, Rapid Eye, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Hypnosis, Bodywork, EFT, Energy work, Ancestral healing, Native American Sweat and Shamanic Journeys, Co-counseling/Bio-energetics, Est and the Forum, Psychoanalysis, Psych K, and many others, that I have never found a healing process more potent or profound than the first healing technology I was introduced to by Mel Wasserman at Cedu Foundation. Standing on the shoulders of a giant, I have evolved his technology, which we now call a ‘Breakthrough’ at the retreat I do called “The Awakening.” Tony Robbins became famous by going around the country and announcing over the radio that he could use NLP to re-program a phobia within an hour. When psychologists would call in and call him a charlatan and say, “I’ve been doing therapy on my clients for years and they are not through their phobias” Tony would invite them to bring their client that night. After finding out their phobia was about snakes, he would have his people go rent a snake from a local pet shop. After bring the snake out on

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 5 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo stage, and having everyone watch the client’s reaction, he would take the snake off stage, and then use NLP to re-program the phobia and within an hour the client could have the snake crawling on him with no reaction! I love this tool and many of my Breakthrough Leaders are NLP masters, but like me, none of us has ever found a tool to go deeper, to go to the root of an issue, and create a more profound core level life changing impact than the Breakthrough we do at our retreat called “The Awakening.” It can heal and reprogram the deepest wounds that drive people’s non-working behaviors, barriers and self-sabotage. When I facilitate the first person through this process that we call a “Breakthrough”, within 25 minutes of starting there is not a dry eye in the house, and it is crystal clear to everyone in the room, that this person’s life will never be the same!

How Good Can You Stand It? In this book you will learn Seven Master Keys of Life Mastery. These will enable you to leave the problems, upsets and non-working patterns behind and access the source of joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, peace, success and results. Once you are able to access your true heart and soul, your “Being”, an entirely new domain is opened up. A magical realm is available that has until recently been reserved for the saints and gurus is now available to all human beings. This book contains wisdom that has the power to transform your life. By practicing these Seven Master Keys, you will learn to consciously “play” in a realm of love and fulfillment. The Seven Master Keys outlined in this work will take you on a path of discovery into the realm of the soul, where unlimited potential benefits and positive influences for your life await you. Many people have learned that greater results come from focusing inward for answers rather than looking outside themselves. If you knew how good it is--you wouldn’t hold back. You don't resist when it's time to go to Disneyland or on your dream vacation, do you? If you knew that abundance and success in money, love life, personal fulfillment and in all areas of your life were right there waiting for you on a silver platter, you wouldn’t dig in your heels in or avoid doing your own “inner game.” From all of my journeys I have identified seven powerful tools for leaving our problems behind and accessing the magical realms of joy and success. I consider these sacred because they have been passed down in various forms from ancient times and sacred traditions. I am excited to share such life changing tools with you in this book, tools you can use to create safe, rapid gentle changes in catapulting your life to higher ground and assisting you to step up to the gift you came to be. Only by learning to 'hang up the phone,’ or disengage or put the clutch in on the upsets, stress and problems, and to access the magical realm of your true self, can you accelerate your own success, and experience true life mastery.

My Promise to you: The promise of my work is to ignite the gift that you are. I will provide you with the skills to embrace your nobility and to influence others from the amazing leverage of the highest perspective. Gary

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 6 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Part I:

My Quest for Awakening

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 7 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 1:

My Quest for Healing Begins

During my many years of personal exploration, I became interested in a wide variety of empowerment processes including Shamanic and Native American traditions. Even though I’ve heard that my ethnic heritage includes Yaqui Indian ancestry, I am not a traditionally trained Shaman, such as the Yaqui shamans of the Carlos Castaneda books. However, I have witnessed similar otherworldly events and experiences, which can barely be explained by quantum or holographic physics. In this book, I reveal personal revelations and stories of my own quest for healing and empowerment. I share these discoveries under the headings "My Quest." One day in high school I saw a show on television about “Sensitivity Training,” which was the earliest versions of modern group therapy. The people in the group were honestly and sincerely acknowledging each other. I thought, “Wow! You don’t see this in daily life!” I was hooked! When my dad came home from work that day, I announced, “Dad, I know what I want to do for a living.” I proceeded to tell him about the fascinating acknowledgments I had witnessed on television. He got a puzzled look on his face and with surprise asked me, “Haven’t I ever told you that I do the same group exercises that you saw on television?” “You do?” I had had absolutely no idea. He proceeded to describe to me how he was one of the very first participants in the NTL (National Training Laboratories) training, which was the very first kind of “encounter groups” and “sensitivity training” developed to help the veterans of world war II with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. National Training Laboratories is arguably the very source of all trainings and technologies today that can be called transformational. All experiential trainings for personal growth evolved out of NTL. Because of this training he was hired by Job Corps to start an institute where young men would learn to become counselors and was one of first people in the country who was training people in such methods! He later worked with Native American tribes in Canada and was so loved by his clients for his help with healing issues of Alcoholism and sexual abuse, that he eventually had five children named after him. My dad assisted me in being accepted to a college named Johnston College in Redlands California. Johnston had been written about in Time Magazine for being revolutionary because the “Who’s Who in America” types of teachers and students spent the first week literally designing the college curriculum in such “sensitivity group” activities. While at Johnston College I met people from Cedu foundation and was inspired to visit. I was so enthralled with what Mel Wasserman was doing that I decided to move in. After spending 3 years living in Cedu Foundation under Mel Wasserman’s mentoring, I traveled the world in search of the best healing and empowering technologies

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 8 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo available. What fascinates me is that after exploring more that 30 various healing technologies and re-programming methods, that the most powerful tool for core level healing, re-programming emotional tapes and life-long empowerment was the first Breakthrough process method given to me by my first mentor, Mel Wasserman. Since my troubled teens, my entire adult life has been a quest for emotional and spiritual enlightenment, working through a degree in psychotherapy, and seeking out the wisdom of the masters and the most innovative healing centers of our time. I've been privileged to work directly with therapists who have done their own healing processes with the giants of my generation, like Milton Erickson, Fritz Perls, Arthur Janov and Virginia Satir. I've also worked with many enlightened masters worldwide like Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Werner Erhard and others. I absolutely love every teacher I’ve had the privilege to work with! In my work as a therapist/ life coach/ seminar facilitator/spiritual teacher, I came to understand that what many of us believe about human nature is completely wrong! As Morpheus says to Neo in the movie The Matrix,

“…It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth…”

The truth is, at our core essence we are beings of freedom, love and light. As we learn to peel the onion of self-doubt and begin to realize our true nature as love and joy, we realize we are all one, and we naturally develop infinite compassion and a desire to be a gift to our world.

Awakening My Gifts

Over the years, my healing journey awakened perceptions, skills and gifts I wouldn’t have believed when younger. As my skills progressed, I realized my own power. I could, indeed, “be the wind.” I ignited special skills I couldn’t have imagined when I was younger. For example, I developed skills like being able to tell my business clients whether their next project was headed for a big blessing or a huge lesson. I awakened intuitive skills like being able to recognize when I first meet someone, the true nature of their soul, their path, what their family life and parents were like, their current battles, and how close they are to jumping off their next cliff in life so they can soar. In one such case, a business client of mine had built three businesses; one worth 10 million, one worth 30 million, and one worth 60 million all within 10 years. In our first two-hour phone consultation it was obvious to me that his current project – one he had invested years of time and put millions of his personal money into -- was headed for a train wreck. He believed he was headed for a blessing but was truly headed for an expensive lesson in which he would end up losing millions and years of time. I could hear where he was justifying strategies of taking a back seat because he wasn’t in the lead role, and needed to own the power to influence. I convinced him to step up and take much more ownership of the project to get it back on track.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 9 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo When I meet people in my courses, I have developed the ability to visualize the next few years of someone’s path if they continue on their current course. At the Awakening Retreats that I facilitate, when a key moment of decision comes up for a participant, I often get a vision of two complete movies in my head based on which direction they might choose. Quite often I will say to them, "If you could see what I see, you would go for it!"

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 10 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 2:

Crossing the Threshold into a New Realm

Like all of us, my early childhood wounds had a deep and profound affect on me throughout my life even though most of us are rarely aware of how these painful moments now drive our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. From early childhood, because I felt different and outcast, if the class would go left, I would go right, because “There’s nothing wrong with being different…” Without conscious awareness, in my need for protection, my defenses ended up swallowing up my aliveness, my joy, authentic self, and in essence ended up ruining my life, to the point where I was truly lost by the time I was in my teens. Even though I was an intelligent teenager with many talents, I was so emotionally lost, I was the “king of wimps” and on the verge of an emotional collapse. My family could have been the poster family for "dysfunctional." I was running internally very fast, riddled with self-doubts. Every other thought in my head was an insecure thought, trying to prove nothing was wrong with me although I felt different: like an outcast, not good enough, and scared to death.

Learning in Cedu Foundation

At the age of 18, I left traditional college after one year. I met an incredible man who was to transform the quality of my life forever, a man who was a generation ahead of his time in the field of personal growth and healing. Mel Wasserman was living, creating and teaching breakthrough processes and techniques at the live-in community he created in Running Springs, California. The Cedu Foundation served a variety of youth with emotional challenges. I attended Johnston College in Redlands California, because it offered cutting edge psychology studies. I heard about Mel Wasserman when a visitor from Cedu Foundation came to see our dorm captain. Many students in my dorm gathered to hear about the outlandish, innovative ideas, which came from Cedu. A friend and I went to visit this enticing Cedu community nestled high in the mountains and I was immediately drawn to it. When I met Mel, his presence was so unique it grabbed me in a way I couldn’t explain for many years because he was the first person I had met who was living his dream on such a unique level. Mel's brilliant innovations were not discovered by others or written about in books for decades after. Everything from Gestalt Therapy, Primal Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Validation Therapy, Encounter, Marathons, est, Neuro- Linguistic Programming, The Magical Child within, and others, are now the names of recognized transformational technologies, which capture the truths and experiences Mel was inventing and sharing with us, long before they were invented by others or were popular.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 11 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Mel’s powers of perception were unbelievable. A fried of mine told Mel he wanted to move into Cedu. When Mel asked him why, he said, “Because I want to grow.” Mel gave him a quick glance. “How much LSD have you taken?” The young man replied defensively, “How do you know I’ve ever taken acid?” Mel then told him precisely how much acid he’d taken: how many downers, how much speed, what his dad was like, what his mom was like, a few other key items and ended with the fact that he probably had a white rug in the bathroom. After a pause, my friend whose mouth was open and jaw was dropped said, “The rug is red.” When Mel looked at me, everything in me jumped back. I thought, “No…don’t do it to me…” I meekly asked him, “Can you read his mind?” Mel chuckled, “No, everything about him tells me who he is. The way he looks up at the ceiling tells me his thought processes. The way he holds his stomach tightly, the way he sits, his posture, his presence … all tells me who he is.” Then Mel told us about his perspective on history and the leap that he felt was coming to mankind. I was hooked. I would spend almost three years in Cedu Foundation with Mel Wasserman, and experience innumerable personal miracles.

My First Breakthrough Process: An 'Awakening'

Cedu Foundation was a community of about 75 youth, counselors and staff, located in a mountain forest between Lake Arrowhead and Big Bear. We lived in dorms and ate in the main lodge, built of logs and stone, which were originally owned by film director John Huston. In addition to group therapy sessions we did three times a week, Mel would occasionally do marathon group sessions, which he called "Propheets," after the book The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. These marathons were very special events at Cedu. Every time word broke out that one was scheduled, there was great excitement in the air for weeks before. The buzz of anticipation was palpable. People would share about their "Propheets,” and the miracles that had occurred for them. To those of us who had yet to experience one, these stories of personal revelation and transformation seemed too good to be true. On the night of my first "Propheet" we all came running at the sound of the bell. We gathered into Mel’s office at the lodge where the "Propheet" was to happen. The large office felt like a beautifully decorated sanctuary, with large wooden beams overhead and floor-to-ceiling windows on two complete walls. It was filled with inspiring sculptures and artwork, and a sense of spaciousness and peace filled the room. As Mel began to talk about what the Propheet really was, orchestrating his words with very touching and meaningful music, I began to notice that a few people in the room had tears in their eyes. I thought to myself, "What is this? What have I gotten myself into?" Mel talked about truth and freedom in a way that inspired pure magic in the air. Very soon, most of the people in the room were very choked up or crying, seemingly remembering the miracles during previous "Propheets." To me, on my

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 12 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo maiden Propheet voyage, it was both a bit unsettling and incredibly promising. And I was on the edge of my seat, ready to take it in. Mel suggested that people say goodbye to a dozen or so of us who were chosen to go on this journey. We sat in the inner circle of chairs, and all the rest were standing in a circle around us. People who cared about me came up to me and said goodbye to me in a way that I could not help but wonder at. There was something awesome and strangely final in their goodbyes, as if they somehow knew with a certainty that I wouldn't be coming back. Of course, they were right. I wouldn't be coming back. A new, transformed 'me' would walk out the door when it was all over.

My Breakthrough Process Transforms My World

The marathon began and we were told it would not end until the truth was told and the transformations were complete. We were doing a variety of discussions, visualizations, and processes that took us below the surface in our discoveries. Somewhere around 4:00 a.m., Eli, one of the facilitators, put on Neil Diamond’s version of "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.” The music triggered something unforeseeable happening to me. Out of the clear blue, for no apparent reason, I remembered something that I had absolutely forgotten about since I was 4 years old.

My sister Lore, aged 7, and her black friend had been walking down a path near our house with my brother Steve and I, ages 4 and 5. We came across the neighborhood bullies, who were prejudiced. One bully began to tease and push my sister and her friend around. Without thinking, Steve stepped in front of my sister and said, "Leave them alone." The bully and Steve realized at the same time, that Steve had inadvertently put himself directly into the line of fire. The bully glared and said, "Move." Steve was paralyzed. When he didn't move, the bully slapped him in the face, and then repeated, "Move!" He kept repeating his threat and slapping Steve over and over again. With each slap we were devastated. Lori, turned to me and said, "Gary, help him, he's your brother!" I was terrified. I told her, "You help him! He's YOUR brother!" I did nothing. I sold out. I betrayed myself. I let my brother get beat up. Remembering this, and reliving an experience I didn't even know had been haunting me all this time, I exploded with tears. Now, I was 18, crying my guts out, and realizing that this was the day that I had emotionally and spiritually died. This was the day I made up a story that I was weak and small and couldn't even help my own brother, that something was wrong with me, that I was different, that I wasn’t “good enough.”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 13 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo I would later come to realize that each us has a version of this same ultimate doubt which in my work, we now call “The emotional black hole” because like a black hole in space, it eats up everything in our life. Each of us has a moment when we experience deeply that something is wrong with us, though few of us remember the actual moment it occurred.

From then on, I began to unknowingly change my behavior in order to avoid the bullies, to make sure that such a thing never happened again. I became extra nice. I became an expert at living up to other people's expectations. I learned to master the art of pleasing people. I became a master of selling out. Of course, attracting the wolves by being a sheep, not only did I attract a lot of bullies in my life, but also I was in pain and lost. I didn't know how to rest or find peace. I didn't know how to heal myself, how to "come home." The feelings were so big I thought I might crumble. While I was re-living this unbearable moment and sharing my deep anguish with the room, the facilitator said, "On that day, in that moment, you sold your self out. You swallowed what was in your heart. You died." Then Eli gave me the opportunity to redeem myself. He said, "What if we could turn the clock back and re-do your whole life? He pulled out an enormous pillow and threw it in the middle of the room. “Do you see this pillow here? This pillow represents the bullies. What was it that you felt like doing in your heart that you never let yourself do?" Literally I leapt through the air beat on that pillow like my life depended on it, yelling over and over what my heart had ached to yell, but I had swallowed, "Leave my brother alone!" After what seemed an eternity, I staggered back to my chair in a daze. I could barely move my arms. I suddenly became conscious of the tension that had been running through me and gripping my entire body, my whole life. This tension was like a suit of armor created by all the years of trying; trying to be o.k, trying to make it work, trying be included, trying to please people, trying, trying, trying. And then, somehow I just let go. And when I let go, all of the tension let go of me. I could see and feel something I didn't understand at the time and now know as "energy" come from the earth and fill me and surround me. It seemed to lift me higher and higher, more and more rapidly, like an elevator in my consciousness, going faster and faster and higher and higher until something within me exploded with light. A little voice said, "Top floor!" Sitting in my chair in Mel’s sanctuary, I was now filled and overflowing with the most exquisite experience of my life. There were no words for it. In that extraordinary moment, I knew exactly what I had been searching for my whole life, and I was now filled to the brim with it! I knew that I was 'right now' experiencing fully what I had longed for from the depths of my soul. I knew I hadn't known anything close to this release, this ecstasy, since I was a five-year-old Superman bouncing the tumbleweeds off my chest. I finally knew what true freedom was. I knew that people in the “real world’ typically don’t have a clue what this freedom is like. They understand the concept of freedom, but for the most part they don’t know the experience. I knew that this freedom

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 14 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo was who I truly was, and that who I was is indescribably precious, radiant and magnificent! In this moment, I had a direct experience of my soul, my divinity. I knew without a doubt that I could be no more filled. My joy was so obviously overwhelming, that the people around me were moved to tears, happy for me. Eli turned to me and whispered in my ear, "Welcome home, Gary."

A New World

That morning at first light, my group of companion spiritual warriors went out on the deck, overlooking the forest of pine trees surrounding us. The morning light bathed everything in beauty. I noticed that the whole world had changed. The entire physical realm was different. It was as if someone had taken every tree and every rock and filled them with light. It was truly a New World. A transformation had occurred, a transformation of my whole reality. I was keenly aware of the fact that this enormous change was all occurring within me, within my consciousness. I was living in a heaven on earth. This heaven had always been within me. I had always had it, but I had forgotten. The experience often called transformation grows more sacred with time. That profound breakthrough process was the day I got my life back. It means more to me now, some 40 plus years later, than it did when it happened. It opened the door to a path with heart, the path that goes by many names, names like personal growth, transformation, the path of personal awakening. My breakthrough process gave me freedom, an experience that would serve as a beacon to guide me constantly from that moment on. For the rest of my life, this profoundly deep experience of true self would call to me whenever I would start to get off course. I thought to myself, "If I could give this to people, now that would be something." I knew instantly that I would do this type of work for the rest of my life. I want to clarify that this amazing experience is not to be mistaken for the kind of “a-ha’s” or insights or blissful moments that happen through daily life. The essential ingredient of this experience was the healing process called a “Breakthrough.” Without that below-the-surface healing, I may have been touched or inspired, but I would not have had such a deeply moving experience that transformed my world in a single moment. This first awakening experience when I was 18, gave me my work, my career, my game. It gave me my path of personal development, a way to constantly access and build my personal power. It gave me my way to success, my dream lifestyle. By being a vehicle for my magnificent self to emerge, this Breakthrough brought me the love, my new family, and every thing that means the most to me. It brought me the path that is my purpose and destiny, the path by which I will get to serve and make a real difference in life.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 15 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo (I now facilitate for the public an evolved version of Mel’s Propheets, and call it “The Awakening Retreat.” For more information see our website – www.riseleadershipgroup.com.

It was many years later after traveling the world and immersing myself in over 30 different empowerment technologies that I began to fully understand the science and power of Mel’s innovation. When my staff put on the first Awakening Retreat – it was obvious to all of us that though we had all done a myriad of empowerment technologies that none of us had ever witnessed such a miraculous vehicle for healing. To this day it amazes me that although I have gone around the world and experienced innumerable growth technologies, that none of them is as profound or powerful for healing or re-programming than the breakthrough process I learned from Mel over 40 years ago. When we facilitate the first breakthrough in front of the room, the person who volunteers tells us what they want to work on i.e. their love life, their money, and we facilitate a breakthrough. Within 20 minutes there is not a dry eye in the house, and everyone is crystal clear that this person’s life will never be the same!

A New Paradigm for Human Beings

It was years later that I came to know that what makes the Awakening such a unique growth retreat is something I now call “subconscious safety.” Because of a revelation where I witnessed the perfection of human beings (which I will discuss in a future chapter), I came home and wondered what would happen if I took all of the confrontation out of my workshops. In seeing the perfection of us, my work transformed 180 degrees, and my central focus became to shower people in what is right about them. I came to know that the greatest tool that ANY presenter has, whether it’s a 3rd grade teacher or a Fortune 500 CEO, is the emotional atmosphere, the group energy or ‘space’ of a room. This is that invisible quality that makes people lean forward in their chairs, or laugh at the jokes and determines the level of discovery or life-changing paradigm shifts that are available. This emotional atmosphere is synonymous with “subconscious safety.” This is the true source of unprecedented miracles at the retreat we call the Awakening. I will use a metaphor to describe this innovation. Imagine that someone had a time machine, they could take you back in time to the moment when the most traumatic wounding happened for you, when your greatest self-doubts were formed, and they could have you relive that moment in a way that completely empowered you to redo that moment in the way you truly wanted to by honoring your truth and saying all that you needed to say, to ask for what was in your heart, and take the stand you needed to. Imagine that on the deepest levels you could realize and experience how profoundly, deeply and completely you were loved, and you knew in every cell of your body that you are not only O.K. and that nothing is wrong with you, but you could witness and profoundly experience that you are magnificence and sacred!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 16 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo You were loved, in the same way a tiny infant is loved, exuberantly, passionately and without conditions. An infant is not loved for what they look like or have accomplished, or for what they have or possess. An infant child is loved for her sacred divine and beautiful self, and in reality, so are we, but somewhere along the lines, we forget that. Imagine that when you came out of this moment, like all moments that change a person’s life in an instant, you could bring to the present the person you would have been if that moment had been lived in this new courageously expressive way. This experience of true healing is no longer saved for the saints and the gurus; it is now on the planet for everyone. In this book, I will show you how to access the heaven that has always been within you through the “Theatre of Love, Play and Dreams”. This Theater, accessed through the Seven Master Keys will prepare the path for you to have such an awakening experience and to ignite the power within that will change your life. This is what I want to share with you.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 17 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Part II:

The Path to Your Dream

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 18 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 3: The “Chrysalis” Paradigm – Problems as Hidden Treasures

The famous psychologist Abraham Maslow stated that perhaps our inner nature was "good" and what appeared to be destructive or distorted was the frustration of our goodness, the blocking of our "good" natural, inner nature. In all of human history, even with all the incredible wisdom that has been given to the human family, it was only very recently that this idea took hold and began to spread in the culture. People on a grand scale have begun to give it a possibility- that perhaps we as human beings were not essentially evil or bad after all. In 1956, Maslow’s revolutionary idea spawned a whole movement in the field of psychology when he said the following:

"…The basic human emotions and the basic human capacities are on their face neutral, pre-moral, or positively "good." Destructiveness, sadism, cruelty, malice, etc., seem so far to be not intrinsic but rather they seem to be violent reactions against frustration of our intrinsic needs, emotions, and capacities."

This book demonstrates the power of this philosophy. I call it the "Chrysalis" paradigm. Within our surface self is always a thing of beauty. “As the confinement of a chrysalis is to a caterpillar the unlikely way to the freedom of flight, so are our problems to us the keys to our hidden treasures within.” In my first "breakthrough process" at Cedu at the age of 18 my reality completely transformed from a place of pain and suffering to an entirely new paradigm of reality. I awakened an unprecedented place within; where I knew in my soul that I was essentially "good" – that we are all spiritual beings full of love and light. But it was later on in my professional experience while working with some of the most talented therapists of our age, that I had a revelation. In this revelation, I witnessed a blinding light of truth that would shatter my old way of seeing and replace it with the most resplendent view of reality- the perfection of human beings. My work was changed 180 degrees. It accelerated my abilities for healing my clients and for designing seminars and retreats that are leaps ahead of traditional thought and practice in healing and empowerment. Following this revelation, I wanted to shout from the mountaintops, “Guess what? There is nothing wrong with us – we are perfect!” I wanted to share this good news and its profound implications with the whole world. Throughout the ages, growth has expressed itself in all of the metaphors for enlightenment, spiritual breakthroughs and more recently in experiential growth seminars and empowerment technologies of personal transformation.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 19 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo What this revelation adds to all of the growth technologies and techniques is the paradigm shift that we are perfect and whole and complete. It pierces the illusions of doubt and fear, and brings light to darkness. It brings liberation to the chained. This discovery births us out of separation into oneness and unity. It is a revolution and is the seed, the rebirth, and the well in the desert, the door to perception, and the gateway to paradise. It is the Awakening. The sign on the door says, “Welcome home.

There Is A Place

There is a place. A place within us. A realm of consciousness, a realm of being.

A time when we come home To our true selves … to who we truly are.

We are filled to the brim. All is well. All is perfect.

WE ARE PERFECT!

Historically, this Place was a rare occurrence; somewhere only the rare and few (usually a saint or a monk) would happen upon. It was an occasional accident, which became a fond memory. The age-old dream of living has always been to find a way to come home, to enter what was called "The Kingdom of Heaven." To find a way, a technique, a method, or a discipline that would somehow allow each of us to come home. Most of us do not realize that what we are seeking so desperately is our magnificence. The dream has been to somehow be able to access this place at will, rather than to hope or wait for an accidental, occasional event. If it could somehow be accessed at will, then we would have found the door; the door to our potential: a well in the desert where we could go and drink and be fulfilled, a well of aliveness to ignite and accelerate the realization of our own personal brilliance. This work, this revolutionary transformational technology, is not an event. It is neither a cure nor a magic pill. It is a well in the desert. It is the way to return, when you choose to, to your own brilliance.

My Quest: I Witness the Perfection of Human Beings

"There is nothing wrong with us!" After Cedu Foundation, I traveled the globe in search of the most powerful and potent healing technologies. I learned to facilitate workshops in Gestalt Therapy. In the 80's, I participated in weeklong intensives at the Center for Feeling Therapy in Los Angeles with a group of some of the most talented therapists in the country. Many of

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 20 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo them had worked under the giants of our generation, masters like Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir, Arthur Janov, Milton Erickson and others. While in an intensive at the Center for Feeling Therapy and working with one of the therapists (who took John Lennon through Primal Therapy) I had a revelation. A fellow workshop participant, a woman intensely seeking healing, was having a difficult time discussing her worst hang-up. Her way of being with people came off as being cold, distant, aloof, righteous, critical, and domineering. She had been ridiculed throughout her life, and was convinced that the most dangerous thing she could ever do was to be sensitive, vulnerable or visible. This is most likely because in our culture it is so unacceptable to show sensitivity or tenderness. In her experience, the power of this great tenderness and sensitivity, which she absolutely possessed, was being blocked, suppressed, and forced to go in another direction. It was manifesting as what we would call a "hang-up", and she viewed it as a problem. This hang up, her ineffective way of being with people, was a distortion of her goodness and her true state of being, which was very tender indeed. In a flash of insight, I saw that what she held as her biggest shortcoming or “hang-up” of being distant and aloof, was in reality her greatest gift, talent or strength. It was her sensitivity. What she thought was the worst thing about her was in reality a way of covering up a beautiful natural tenderness, sensitivity, caring, and vulnerability that was in fact a treasure of her nature and a gift to those who knew her. Everyone can be tender, but she had a special tenderness, a unique quality about her that people would of course find irresistible if she was allowed to express this great strength in its natural, authentic form. The energy of a great gift has to go somewhere, so if it is distorted or frustrated it becomes what's called a defense mechanism. It is a role, a facade, a shield used to protect a tender heart from a dangerous world. The power of a natural talent can become just as powerful as the 'hang-up.' The exact power this woman had to alienate people and turn them off, was the same degree of power which she had to attract people and turn them on to her, if only she projected her true state instead of the bitter one that she had learned to present. It was then I realized that all of our problems, shortcomings, hang-ups, dysfunctions, and defenses are truly nothing more than great gifts, talents and strengths in disguise. When we are slapped down as children these innate strengths are shut down. The energy must go somewhere, so it goes from a positive direction, to the same degree of energy in a negative direction – a defense or dysfunction. In that moment I saw clearly that everything we criticize and judge about ourselves is an illusion and that essentially, underneath the suppression, the doubt and pain, everyone is innately perfect. I wanted to stand on the mountaintop and shout out, “Guess what? “There is nothing wrong with us! We are perfect!”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 21 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

We are inherently good!

This revelation became a paradigm shift changing my view of others, the world and myself. Identify your greatest hang-ups, and you have identified your greatest gifts! This is the Chrysalis Paradigm.

Give the following a possibility:

What if…

Every problem represents power waiting to be tapped?

Every human imperfection is the suppression of our perfect nature. Every hang-up, every negative or self-defeating behavior we have is simply the blockage of a huge strength or innate natural talent. What if by identifying your greatest so called ‘hang-ups,’ you would have actually identified your greatest gifts?

Every human imperfection is the suppression of our perfect nature.

What if…

Every hang-up that you have simply represents bottled up energy? The same energy that is being pulled back like a slingshot in a self-defeating direction can be let go of and fly equally far in a self-empowering direction?

All human defenses, dysfunctional behaviors and self-invalidating patterns are merely indirect ways of requesting something very positive, sweet, and wonderful?

Every pain and agony we feel is the exact reflection of our magnificence – the proof of our immense goodness and inner-beauty. Every pain we feel is the exact reflection of how sensitive we are, of how much we care, of how delicate, tender and full of heart we are?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 22 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The greater the turmoil, the greater is the reflection of our sensitivity our magnificence. Your pain, your agony is the exact reflection and proof of your immense goodness, your sacredness, and your inner-beauty?

Every upset, especially those that keep recurring, is in fact your gateway to higher ground. Every problem is a request for a solution that contains the steps to the next level up in your quality of life?

Every one of us has loving intentions and motives, however distorted the expression of those intentions. Every intention arises from love?

Every vicious, mean or apparently uncaring behavior, when boiled down to its essence, carries a "Sweetheart Message" within it, a message of love. The more indirect the message is from its true form, from love, the more distorted and destructive the delivery. Each of us is in essence a sweetheart, even the most distorted?

All human defenses, dysfunctional behaviors and Self-invalidating patterns are merely indirect ways of Requesting something very positive, sweet, and wonderful.

Every vicious, mean or apparently uncaring behavior, When boiled down to its essence, Carries a "Sweetheart Message" within it, a message of Love.

So, what if…? What if the above statements are true? What are the ramifications? For now, I want you to consider these a possibility. That every problem is a gift in disguise, and that great turmoil is great potential.

Every Problem is a Gift in Disguise

From my profound Cedu Breakthrough experience at 18, I discovered my own true magnificence. I knew in every fiber of my being that I was 'good.' My perspective continued to evolve until it became obvious to me that everything we consider bad news is truly good news in disguise. I propose that everything about you, both positive and negative, is an expression of your goodness and magnificence.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 23 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo What if every problem, upset, self-defeating behavior, or so-called hang- up was, in reality, a great strength or a very real talent or treasure, being blocked from expression? Regardless of whether you express that strength in a positive, functional way or in a negative, dysfunctional way, it is still what it is- that strength. A voice is a voice, expressed as an ear splitting scream or as a melodious, joyful song. As are all of your qualities and problems, it is a reflection or your innate gifts and natural goodness. If this is the case, as I propose, the implications are profound! This would mean that ultimately there are NO real weaknesses, NO real hang-ups, and NO real self-defeating behaviors; that ultimately there is NO real bad news! What we view as hang-ups are in truth tremendous psychological strengths which have simply never been allowed to fully show themselves. Once the strength is utilized, given the room to express itself in one's life, the so-called hang-up literally disappears into thin air. It simply becomes what it really was to begin with- strength, a truly great talent or gift! This concept has profound applications for how we view our growth process and ourselves and how we go about empowering ourselves. All of our shortcomings and the worst behaviors for which we criticize ourselves are really wells of hidden treasures, waiting to be tapped, gushers of wealth and success waiting for us to find access to them.

Brent: An Example

Brent is a good example of this paradigm. He is a talented high-powered executive with unlimited potential at a mid-range company in the Midwest. While in a leadership program, he was pairing up with his partner to apply one of our new technologies for a personal breakthrough. The issue he wanted to overcome was that he was getting a lot of feedback from my facilitators and his other counselor that he wasn’t willing to be vulnerable. They saw that when things got tender or sensitive he would disconnect and go into his thoughts and logic. This resulted in several non- working behaviors including reacting by becoming intimidating and invalidating others, creating distance with his wife, and having periodic outbursts of temper. This new breakthrough technology came out of Gestalt Therapy and we call it Empowerment Dialogue. In the switching back and forth between 2 chairs and dialoguing with himself during an exercise of Empowerment Dialogue chair work, he had a realization about when he was young. As a young boy, if he started feeling because he was so sensitive, his father would whack him and say, “I’ll give you something to cry about!” His body and thought process was thusly trained at an early age that feelings are dangerous, and you cannot be sensitive or vulnerable or feeling. As he continued the process of dialoguing between the two parts of himself that were in conflict he discovered what the two parts of him wanted to accomplish. Most people are unaware that they have these two parts within

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 24 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo them. We call them the inner child and inner parent. Once he found what they both wanted to accomplish he had a profound sense of destiny and purpose. His conflict had been manifesting negatively at work as well as the other areas of his life. In the current pattern, he would grab too many projects, scattering his energy, and right before one of them would come to fruition, each project would somehow unravel. Addressing this, at one point I said, “When you have permission to feel what your father didn’t know how to let you feel, your ability to accomplish will expand exponentially!” The stunned look on his face said, “I want to accomplish more, but how is feeling going to help?” I said, “When your father kept you from feeling, all those feelings, all that emotional energy was still in your body. So you would go off and lick your wounds, and focus on doing what felt good, and since you were brilliant, you went into your head, and focused on lots of various projects because those feeling had nowhere else to go, so they got translated into ‘busy’ with intellectual pursuits. The trouble is that because they were out of kilter and out of balance, and an expression of acting out – the result was being scattered, unfocused, too many projects, etc.” “So what happens when I start to feel what my father didn’t know how to let me feel?” he asked. I answered, “Right now the pattern is held in place by this block. Once you give yourself permission to feel, to be sensitive and vulnerable, all of that energy which is up in your head and scattered in your projects will have no option but to return home. You will automatically slow down, make fewer choices, take on fewer projects, be much more focused, and accomplish much more! Here is the equation given how you put it together: Vulnerable = slowed down, focused, and accomplishment!” He got it as a deeply moving profound experience, and since then has considered the moment when he feels vulnerable as a golden opportunity to create a breakthrough level of accomplishment.

All problems, hang-ups, dysfunctions, non-working or Self-defeating behaviors, and human imperfections Are strengths, gifts and talents in disguise!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 25 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Great Turmoil is Great Potential: A Historical Example

Saint Frances of Assisi is portrayed in the movie "Brother Sun, Sister Moon," as the leader of his peers and the son of wealthy people. He was excited to prance off to the Crusades. Predictably, he then discovered that war is not all it's cracked up to be. He couldn't live with it. He suffered so much inner turmoil that he finally collapsed and crawled home. He suffered the equivalent of an emotional breakdown. This was a man, a spirit who will go down in history as one of the brightest flames to grace the planet, and yet his turmoil was as great as it could possibly be. The source of his turmoil was because he was too sensitive, too delicate, too tender, too vulnerable, to be able to live with the lie of a war that everyone around him felt fine about. He was so sensitive because he was such a bright flame, such a big spirit. I began to realize that it is our sensitivity, which is the exact reflection of our access to spirit. It was his sensitivity, which reflected his magnificence. The degree to which you are in touch with your sensitivity, your tenderness, and your heart is the degree to which you experience turmoil in a magnified way. For saint Frances, because he was so sensitive he could not live with the war of the crusades and still be true to his own nature. In the case of St. Francis, he was able to be true to his nature and to transform his great turmoil into actions and relationships that profoundly impacted on the world for generations to come through the very thing that caused his deepest pain. His greatest hang-up was in fact, his greatest gift. And it ended up being a far-reaching gift to the world, spanning ages and continents and spreading to the whole world his message, based in his beautiful sensitivity. As in the modern life case of Brent and the historical case of St. Francis of Assisi, both men were able to transform their self-perceived greatest weaknesses into their greatest strengths, and used them to influence many people in the arenas of their lives and by extension the world.

The Greatest Single Key to Influence

What you can be … what you can do … and what you can have … will greatly depend on one key ability - The ability to influence others. What is it that makes a person of great influence, a leader who commands great influence?

Below is the first opportunity for personal reflection and insight. There will be many journal activities throughout the book, and they will be instrumental in anchoring in the concepts that will be presented. I highly recommend that you keep a notebook or your preferred journaling method with you as you continue to read.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 26 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

My Greatest Positive Influences

Who were the people of great influence of your life? List 5 - 6 of them. Write them down. Parents, Teachers, Coaches. Think of heroes from many different places, real or fictional, historical or fantastical. Look to History, perhaps the Bible or your favorite comic books. Just because you didn’t actually meet them, doesn’t mean they didn’t influence you! Even if you never met your father, you created him in very much detail about who he was, why he left you, and all the meaning of that relationship. What was your experience of their perception of you? How would you imagine they: Perceive your possibilities? Recognized your strengths, gifts and talents? Accepted your mistakes? Encouraged your dreams?

I want to share what I believe is the Greatest Key to Influence.

The Greatest Key to Influence is: To recognize and speak to one’s highest nobility! To speak to the best in people.

It is the ability to perceive those you influence beyond their personality flaws or weaknesses, beyond their mistakes or failures, and perceive their best, highest and most noble self. In our live seminars we demonstrate this by teaching our audience how to speak to ones highest nobility. The first step is teaching them how to get ‘centered’ – to slow down and be still inside. Secondly we show them how to create a blank screen in their mind’s eye. Next they look at the person and begin by speaking the obvious strengths, gifts and talents that they recognize in that person. As the ball starts to roll, they watch the screen and notice whatever shows up. They learn to trust themselves and speak what they see on the screen.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 27 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo For example, one time when I was doing this with a client, I kept seeing an image of a lightning bolt. On the third time I saw it, I noticed that his essence reminded me of a lightning bolt, so I told him. When I did, his jaw dropped and he shared that he had photos all over his bedroom of lightning bolts! The metaphor I use for how this works is that we are all transmitting energy. When we tune into someone we are like a radio receiver that is picking up on what he or she are sending. Next in the process we have someone volunteer and come to the front of the room. The whole group attempts to tell them what they recognize as their greatest gifts, strengths and talents. We call this ‘acknowledgements.’ For example someone says, “What I recognize in you is a fierce determination, like you never give up…” or “I get a sense about you that you are so loving and compassionate, that your attitude is ‘everyone is welcome at my table…” Those in the audience are amazed that they are so able to see what is recognized. The person receiving all this sweet recognition typically is very moved, and it is often a life changing moment. We do the same in small groups and the energy in the room ignites. Everyone is touched moved and inspired. All because for a few moments, we chose to see and speak to the each other’s highest nobility. We speak to the best in others. In all the ways that your ability to influence others will benefit you as a parent, a husband or wife, a supervisor, a salesmen, a small business owner, etc. if you ignite your ability to influence, you ignite your success and fulfillment. Nothing accelerates your ability to influence others like speaking to their highest nobility. There are innumerable examples of such expanding success. For example, I have met grandmothers who transform their relationship to their grandchildren by taking them out for pizza and letting the kids take turns sharing one item at a time of whatever made their heart sing that week. They followed this by doing a round of acknowledgments. She would say, “Everyone gets to acknowledge someone, give them a compliment and acknowledge one of their greatest gifts, strengths or talents, and we won’t stop until everyone is recognized and acknowledged.” The kids look forward to time with grandma, and when they cannot go to mom or dad to tell their troubles, they will often find grandma. Imagine the various arenas of your life being ignited by and increasing ability to influence! Speaking to someone’s highest nobility- seeing and speaking to the best in people is your greatest key to influence. There is a new paradigm that we are perfect – inherently – hard-wired. From this new paradigm we can begin to recognize the “Sweetheart Message” (the positive intention) in the negative behaviors of loved ones. We can perceive them and treat them differently through this revolutionary perspective. We call this new paradigm “The Chrysalis Paradigm” and discuss it in more detail in the next chapter.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 28 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo When explorers sailed the world the paradigm of “the earth is flat” was changed forever. When Einstein discovered E = MC2 he brought into being a new universe. The Chrysalis Paradigm is also earth shattering in its implications. Humankind has always operated in life as if there is something wrong with us. This idea has been our chain, our slavery, and our struggle to find our goodness. People stress their whole lives trying to prove that they are O.K. What if we are inherently perfect and there is nothing wrong with us. What if we started to perceive each other’s magnificence beyond our personality flaws or shortcomings, and treat each other as if we were all magnificent – perfect? What if every problem is a gift in disguise? What if every human imperfection is the suppression of our perfect nature? What if all human defenses, dysfunctional behaviors and self-invalidating patterns are merely indirect ways of requesting something very positive, sweet, and wonderful? What if every vicious, mean or apparently uncaring behavior, when boiled down to its essence, carries a "Sweetheart Message" within it, a message of love. How would our entire world and our future be transformed?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 29 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Ch. 3 Points of Power

We are inherently good.

Every human imperfection is the suppression of our perfect nature.

All human defenses, dysfunctional behaviors and self-invalidating patterns are merely indirect ways of requesting something very positive, sweet, and wonderful

Every vicious, mean or apparently uncaring behavior, when boiled down to its essence, carries a "Sweetheart Message" within it, a message of love.

All problems, hang-ups, dysfunctions, non-working or self-defeating behaviors, and human imperfections are strengths, gifts and talents in disguise!

The Greatest Key to Influence is: To recognize and speak to their highest nobility! To speak to the best in people.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 30 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 4: Your Greatest Barriers ARE Your Greatest Gifts

Each so-called hang-up is simply the blocking of a huge strength or innate natural talent. Once you have identified someone's biggest hang-up, whether you know it or not, you have also identified their greatest gift. For example, there are those people who get labeled "the jerk" or “the witch” because they seem so critical. Yet underneath that particular defense, these people are the most sensitive of all. They are critical because they are very delicate and fragile, when others would've been easily more callous. After years of getting their feelings hurt over and over, they lead with the anticipation of getting hurt. They rarely see, (since none of us do), how they come across that alienates others. They rarely notice like the others around them how critical their tone of voice, facial expression, or body posture comes across. When these people tap into the Sweetheart Message of the negative behavior, they can express this sensitivity as delicate, vulnerable loving and caring. They actually have the immense capacity to create and elicit intimacy with others better than anyone else! I have seen example after example of ex "jerks" that have transformed into the biggest sweethearts in my organization. They have a natural talent for making people fall in love with them! They are equipped with the natural resources for creating intimacy with an ease to which the rest of us need to work at. It is also worth remembering that although some people play the role of "jerk" like the role was written for them, that we are all "jerks." Periodically, we all get critical or attacking, either verbally or non-verbally. So who I described above, is to some degree all of us! So once you have identified someone's biggest shortcoming, hang-up or self- doubt you have also identified their greatest gift. What if it’s even better than that? What if their greatest doubts are exactly the opposite of their true magnificence!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 31 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Your Deepest Doubts are the Opposite of Your True Spirit

Earlier I shared with you how my own Awakening began and how I learned that every so-called hang-up (problem, upset, self-defeating behavior) is in reality a great strength or a very real talent. Whether you express that strength in a positive, functional way or in a negative, dysfunctional way, it is still a reflection or your innate gifts and natural goodness. I propose that everything about you, both positive and negative, is an expression of your goodness and magnificence. Further, that the way in which you approach your upsets and problems when they arise is fundamental to the way in which they turn out for you, for better, or for worse. If you can learn to approach your problems with the attitude of "Oh boy, another upset, another place within me of untapped power and potential", you will be able to come out on the “better” side of them. This concept has been gaining renowned support from the psychological community. The former president of the American Psychological Association, Martin Seligman, had been a leader in moving therapy to focus on strengths instead of weaknesses.

Dillon - the "I Don't Care" Kid

I worked with a young man I will call Dillon, taking him through a personal breakthrough process about his relationships. The reason I remember this particular group session so well, is that Dillon served for me as a perfect example of the principle that your greatest hang-ups represent your greatest strengths. Dillon's face and eyes had a hardened, tough guy look. His clothes, his stance, his hunched over posture all said, "So… who cares?" I looked very carefully at the whole structure of how Dillon carried himself, the way he walked, talked, stood, thought, and acted as if he said to the world, "I DON'T CARE." This very loud broadcast of "I DON'T CARE" permeated his whole presentation. In the breakthrough process we did, he was attempting to discover how the circumstances of his life kept repeating for him the lack of results he wanted, especially in his love life. The current situation and barrier revealed itself to be a recorded tape of his relationship with his father. When I asked him to role play his father, he walked around saying things like “So… so what? Why would anyone care about this? It doesn’t matter… Leave me alone…” which all boiled down to saying the message, "I DON'T CARE." The group was compassionately giggling with amazement that he himself could not recognize that the way he was imitating his father, was exactly how he was coming across to others. Whenever the world did not fit Dillon’s pictures or triggered his disappointment, he would get his feelings hurt and interpret the world to be saying to him what he heard, true or not, from his father, "I don’t care… ABOUT YOU." His automatic reaction to the people and circumstances that disappointed him was the same as it had been to his father: "I DON'T CARE." This, of course, either

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 32 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo elicited true antagonism, rejection, or literally called forth people treating him like, "I DON'T CARE.” Life was reflecting back to him his own projections in the mirrored bubble of reality that he originally created. In the Breakthrough Process, I showed him how to tap into the strength hidden under the surface of a shield called "I DON'T CARE." Underneath his own protective defense mechanism, he realized his authentic heart and soul to be the embodiment of the exact opposite. His authentic self was "I CARE . . .” As he learned to feel safe about standing up for his heart and how much he did care, of course he made everyone's "tails" wag like puppy dogs, and everyone in the group found him adorable. As he became stronger, he found an ability to move and influence people like few can. It was because he cared so much that people would listen, cooperate with him, and allow him to influence them. With his authentic strength leading the way, he could move mountains. Below the surface, I could see that Dillon was a bright sensitive young man. His eyes gave him away as the loving, caring, tender, romantic spirit that he really was. What truly amazed me was the vision I had of Dillon's soul while all of this was occurring. I often see people’s soul or spirit as rays of light emanating from their body. To me it appears that each ray of light represents different sensitivities or natural strengths or talents. For Dillon one ray was how sensitive he was, another ray was how loving he was, another ray was his hearts wanting. Some rays were shorter and some were longer. Dillon’s great strength, his longest ray of light was the depth of feelings and sensitivity that expressed itself as "I REALLY CARE". So the ray of light, which represented his greatest sensitivity, and extended out the farthest would be the first one to get blunted, smashed, and suppressed as he approached the not-so-sensitive world. Not only in Dillon’s, but in case after case, the principle has proven itself true. I propose that the spirit comes in with a particular talent, strength or gift and this greatest of strengths is the first to get smashed and blunted by the world! As I said earlier what if every human imperfection is the suppression of our perfect nature. Every hang-up, every negative or self-defeating behavior we have is simply the blockage of a huge strength or innate natural talent. What if by identifying your greatest so called ‘hang-ups,’ you would have actually identified your greatest gifts?

A Problem is Not Bad News

A problem is not bad news. A problem is very good news. A problem is the doorway.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 33 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Your problems are not things to get rid of so that you can be okay. Even when you act out a particular self-defeating behavior, or create a problem, it is a perfect reflection of the strength or talent that is not being allowed expression. This so-called hang-up is an exact reflection of how sensitive you are. Of how much you care. If you weren't such a sweetheart you wouldn't be acting so critical, or overbearing, or controlling or whatever. You wouldn't be acting in these ways if your heart weren’t so tender, if you didn't love so much. In one form or another it always comes down to this? All of our authentic selves are sourced in love. Every problem is a doorway to the next level up in the quality of life. You can face a problem with one of two responses - You can resist it or you can embrace it. If you resist it, beware that you are going to have problems, in fact, the same problem for a long time. The same conversation, the same confrontation, the same issue or nagging upset will come back again and again. In addition, the problem is going to get bigger and better! And the common denominator in all of these situations is… You.

If you don't learn the lesson this round, don't worry. The Universe is so kind, it will make sure you get this lesson Again…And again… And again, until you either learn the lesson Or die, whichever comes first.

If you embrace the lesson, listen and learn from it, you will go through that doorway, birth yourself, and good news is coming.

If every problem is a gift in disguise, It would mean that everything about you Is an expression of your Magnificence.

We are typically the last to recognize our magnificence. We can see so clearly when other people tell us about their self-doubts, that they don't see the reality of their own strengths. They are looking through the illusion of their own insecure feelings. Yet we have the greatest difficulty in recognizing our own inner-beauty. Those who love us see it so clearly, but we usually require an overwhelming amount of evidence before we give our own magnificence a possibility. It usually takes

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 34 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo years of evidence before we actually allow ourselves to have a major shift in experiencing our own sparkle.

Every Behavior Can Always be Boiled Down to a Request

The request is always a request for something good, wonderful and loving, what I call a “Sweetheart Message.”

Every behavior can always be Boiled down to a request. The request is always a request For something good, wonderful and loving, It is what I call a “Sweetheart Message.”

In every behavior there's always a positive message hidden within the apparent negative one. Every negative behavior has what I refer to as a “Sweetheart Message” hidden within it. The most vicious and cruel of all behaviors has within it a Sweetheart Message. What is our Sweetheart Message when we strike out, sometimes with full intent to truly hurt others? What is our Sweetheart Message when our behavior looks cruel and vicious? The Sweetheart Message of that is this; what I 'm really saying is,

"I want you to hurt because…

…Maybe if you hurt long enough you'll understand how I feel. …Maybe if you hurt badly enough you'll stop hurting me. …Maybe if you suffer enough you'll treat me the way you’re supposed to. …Maybe if I hurt you enough, you'll give me the respect I deserve. …Maybe if I hurt you enough you will love me!"

So, with a big emotional bat in our hands we so often approach each other like, "Love me (Wham)! Love me (Wham)! …" What we have is a need for is something wonderful and loving and that's the goal. That's what we are after. That's the end gain. However, the strategies that we use to get the goal, to get the need fulfilled are sometimes imperfect, indirect, destructive or distorted. For example, to gain acceptance or approval which are innately good, we may lie, cheat, steal, or worse. These are ineffective strategies, in an attempt to gain something truly "good".

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 35 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Very simply, you are magnificence. You are a unique expression of a perfect love. Sometimes you express that perfect love imperfectly. You are the Love, which is perfect, not the expression that is often imperfect.

My Quest: I witness my 'Sacred Self'

Early in my career, my family, including my mother, two brothers and two sisters, announced that they were going to participate in the third Awakening retreat. (My dad chose not to participate until many years later.) I was so terrified I climbed Bald Mountain in the Utah Uintahs at sunrise to pray that I wouldn't screw them up any worse than they already were. During this weeklong Awakening I facilitated each of my family members to experience their own personal miracles and breakthroughs. I disappeared into the act of facilitating and dove in wholeheartedly into giving not only my family, but also all the participants the healing that was possible. I knew at that point that the only way I could feel complete was to give it my all. At the end of each Awakening Retreat, there is a graduation-type ceremony we call the Homecoming. Friends and family of the participants come to watch us say our Goodbyes, Thank You's and I Love You's. It's a profoundly moving two hours that finds everyone so touched, lifted and inspired that for most people, they've never witnessed such a moving display of acknowledgment. At my family's Homecoming, I experienced a crack between the two worlds. What we call reality fell away, and what was left was true reality. My family members acknowledged me and their other guests, witnessing the miracles all around them as the participants; the guests, the friends and family were fully expressing their unconditional love for each other. As they saw the miracles they would glance at me and recognize what I had created. I realized that my family finally recognized who I am. I also realized that being recognized by one's family for your true value is a very rare and healing experience. It lifted me up and up, and suddenly, I saw my Sacred Self, my true magnificence like a face right before my eyes. I gasped because it was so indescribably beautiful, glowing, and radiant beyond words. My first realization was that this was so beyond my past ability to even imagine my greatest heroes. My power to imagine Gandhi, or Martin Luther King, or Edison did not compare in the slightest to what I was witnessing as my 'Sacred Self.' Your Deepest Self-Doubts are the Opposite of Your True Spirit

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 36 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Your True Spirit

During the Awakening, everyone at our retreat begins to get familiar with the idea that all upsets begin at the moment of self-betrayal or what we call "selling out." Because there is an overwhelming amount of unconditional love, acceptance and safety in the room, and because all sharing is voluntary, people feel very safe and comfortable about sharing very honestly about these subjects. As we have learned, the moment people give in, go along with, ignore it, swallow their feelings, etc. they can now be upset. When we examine why people betray themselves we discover that we betray ourselves in order to avoid an experience of our greatest self-doubts. We avoid what we affectionately call the "Emotional Black Hole." This is the place within us where our greatest self-doubts live. These are the self-doubts that occur when for example all the kids laughed at us in first grade, and we told ourselves that we were our worst nightmares. We were "Not good enough" or "Different" or "Outcast" or "Unlovable" or "Evil" or "Stupid" or "Bad" or "Weird" or "Crazy" or other terrible, terrible things. At some point some participants are eager to share their own specific style of "selling out", like whether they ignore it, or walk away, or please people, etc. I then have those that share what is the "Emotional Black Hole," the self-doubt that they are trying to avoid by betraying themselves. Someone feels afraid that if they are true to themselves and take a stand, they will be seen as the "Bad Guy" because it will trigger of the feeling of being "Unlovable” When I ask the group what they notice about this person's spirit, they invariably realize that that this person in one of the most lovable people in the room. It is obvious to everyone that this psychological strength of being lovable is truly this individual’s greatest natural strength. You don't even have to look deeply to see it. It's written all over them. It is in their eyes, their facial expression, and their way of walking, talking and being. They have this natural “loveable-ness” in a way that other people do not have it. I will often comment, "Isn't it obvious that this person has a gift for being lovable . . . See, they don't even get to vote on it, they just are lovable!" The energy in the room begins to shift and an excitement builds as people sense what is coming. Then, someone else stands up, and they share that their biggest self-doubt is that they are "Bad". Once again I point out what shines forth from their unique being as their greatest natural talent or gift. Everyone begins to notice, that this person has an innate "goodness" that seems to emanate out of every pore. The excitement in the room is now tangible. The next person then shares how they have always been afraid that they are "Stupid," and everyone recognizes immediately that they are noticeably Brilliant. The one who is afraid that they are "Crazy" is the embodiment of "Sanity". The one who is afraid they are "Different" has a natural talent to be "With" others and included. The whole room realizes that whatever our greatest self-doubt are the exact opposite of our greatest gift.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 37 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo It is like a photograph. The negative shows up as the mirror image of the photograph. The spirit is the truth, the answer; the physical realm is the realm of doubt or the question. If the question is, "Am I unlovable?” the answer is, "I am the embodiment of lovable." Earlier in my life, my insightful brother Rob taught me that the principle behind this profound discovery is that it is the answer which creates the question.

"The answer is there before the question is ever asked. It is the answer, which poses the question So that the answer can see and know itself." Rob Acevedo

One's true nature or spirit is the answer; one's self-doubts and problems are the questions. The answer poses the question (life's battles) so the answer can see and know itself at a more divine level.

You are Your Heroes

The closest you can come to imagining your true nature is to get in touch with your heroes. Your true nature is your highest self, your ideal self. As incredible as you can imagine you could be, you do not yet have the personal power to imagine your magnificence as it truly is, in its essence. Your heroes represent the best human characteristics you currently have the power to imagine. What you imagine your heroes to be is a glimpse into your own true nature. What this all boils down to is this: You ARE your heroes. I didn't say that you are like your Heroes. I didn't say that if you work really hard, that you could become like your Heroes. I said, "YOU ARE YOUR HEROES!”

Hang-ups and Gifts The following supportive examples are taken from a book entitled "Psychological Fitness" by Hart and Corriere when they were at the “Center for Feeling Therapy” in Los Angeles. I’ve added in my interpretations and experience. This chart is designed to show a myriad of “hang-ups” and the Sweetheart Message or positive intent behind each shortcoming. If you identify with some of these it may be an eye-opener. If not you can generalize the idea and ask yourself, what is the sweetheart message behind those shortcomings that I judge myself for?

Criticalness This is the gift of tenderness and discernment. You come across as sharp and prickly because you are so soft and tender. Your Sweetheart Message is "I care so much I want you to be perfect . . .”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 38 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Shyness You are the most sensitive to people's feelings and possess incredible clarity and insight into others. You have spent so much time focused on the inner world rather than coming out and getting lost in the confusion of talking, that you have developed your clarity enormously.

Worrying Worriers possess the ability to concentrate and focus. You are attempting to fix the situation, but have learned to block yourself from taking the needed action that would help you feel complete and be able to let the situation go. You can learn to replace focused thinking or worrying with focused action.

Loneliness Loneliness comes from spending time with people in a shallow, superficial way and not having the skills to breakthrough process the conversations about the weather or one's work, in order to talk about what's really happening in one's deeper feelings. Loneliness is an unused strength of awareness for the kind of deeper relating which builds the deepest and most fulfilling friendships.

Guilt Guilt is unexpressed power; a signal that indicates what one can do in any situation to do better. Whenever people feel that they have not done what they could do, or done something they didn't really want to do, they feel guilty. Guilt is the feeling that is left over, from not hitting the mark, from not going the distance, or from going overboard. Guilt is a signal saying, "You can be more...”

With others, As Fritz Perls the founder of Gestalt Therapy stated, 95% of guilt is unexpressed resentment. Underneath the resentment is perceived pressure. Underneath the pressure is your own "selling out" or self-betrayal. Pressure does not really exist unless you are considering "selling out." When you don't consider selling out - there is no pressure - no resentment - no guilt.

Blame You care intensely about bettering a situation. The hidden strength of blaming is the intense feeling. Once blamers learn to share their caring, their feelings as well as what they want, they become incredible teachers and coaches, caring and coaching, empowering others instead of simply "faulting" them.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 39 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Frustration Frustration is the electrical juice needed to create committed action. It is the power to change - to make things happen. Frustration that is not allowed to become action will build and build until it becomes anxiety or depression. When you say, "I'm so frustrated, I could pull my hair out", I say, "Good! That means a change is coming." Letting your frustration guide you, you will be reminded of what is possible and that you are committed to getting there. You will have the "electrical juice" necessary to take the needed action.

Depression Depression is suppression of a new emerging need that wants to throw out the old meanings and bring in the new meanings. Suddenly the old life just isn't cutting it for you anymore. You need more, you want more. But going for more may look very scary. So as the need for more emerges, you suppress or 'depress' it. But the old world keeps increasingly looking meaningless. When you feel safe enough to begin to express these new emerging needs and desires, then you can move in the new directions, and eventually what was the cause of depression can become the cause of great excitement.

Overweight Being overweight is the great strength of wanting. Desire is the source of all passion and manifestation. You want everything for everybody - NOW! To the degree that you have difficulty admitting or expressing your wanting, to that degree you aren't getting, and are overeating. The more wanting is your natural strength and the less o.k. It is to want, the more overweight you are. The more the emotional wanting is fulfilled the more the physical wanting is satisfied. When the emotional battle of wanting and never feeling fulfilled is won, and your wanting matches your fulfillment, you can alter your body image surprisingly quickly and effortlessly.

Anxiety Anxiety reveals the power to accomplish. Anxiety is caused by the holding back and the building up of one's responses. Feelings are the electricity needed to move us in one direction or another. It is natural to tense up when something threatening occurs in order to build up enough juice; enough electricity to release the tension by taking whatever action may be necessary. When tensing is balanced with releasing, the anxiety disappears and the tensing/releasing cycle strengthens the person to handle all situations with power and strength.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 40 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

One day you wake up and realize that there are no 'hang-ups'! There are only strengths and talents waiting to be awakened! This philosophy says that because there is nothing wrong with you, and because growth is a process of turning perceived problems, upsets or hang-ups into the good news that they really are, then the name of the game called personal growth can shift entirely. The old paradigm for our personal growth was, "If I can just fix this, then I can be O.K. . . ..” The new paradigm can now be "I am O.K. now, and the question is, "How good can I stand it?"

Problems: Fear of Failure or Fear of Success?

We now know that we will use our current problems (unfinished projects, money problems, disorganization, etc.) as self-created balls and chains in order to stop us from moving toward our dream. On the surface, it is a perplexing situation to try to figure out why we would subconsciously keep ourselves from what it is that we want the most. People believe that what most of us are afraid of is the fear of failure. Only after years of deeper level inner work did I realize for myself that what makes the fear of failure look like small potatoes is the fear of success! In my own inner processing, it was a shock for me to discover that when I anticipated my success, the fears that came from the subconscious were numerous – irrational and profoundly debilitating. Fears like, “If I become successful, then I will have to always live up to that and be even more responsible. Or if I’m successful, then if my audience grows, it won’t just be a few friends and family who know how screwed up I am, but it could be the whole world. I went through many private sessions with the best facilitators I could find, and kept working through layer after layer and kept being surprised how many layers there were. Most people have these buried so deeply that all they witness is their own self- sabotage.

My Quest: Choosing All My Major Battles – The Heart of the Human Spirit

This story is delving into spiritual matters. Whenever I do so I am aware of the potential for misinterpretation. I want to clarify that I have no need to enroll others into my spiritual beliefs or experiences. I know that many of you will have very different beliefs. Please take this with a grain of salt, and know that is only one person’s experience. Although it is real to me, there’s no way to establish the scientific validation of this as reality! However, from the depths of my heart I tell you that this is my experience, and I want to share it with you. After going around the country and participating in every new empowerment technology I could get my hands on, I came across the est training created by Werner Erhard in the 70’s. As much as I loved it, much of it I had learned during my time with

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 41 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Cedu Foundation. When I saw hundreds of people getting so touched by this fascinating information, it inspired me to create my own retreat for the ultimate healing and empowerment. I secretly held the intention that this would be the most powerful retreat in the county for healing and empowerment. Back in 1981, I made a list of potential names for this retreat. The word “Awakening” best described the personal miracle that the breakthrough process created for people and the way it awakened an entirely new world for them. So I decided to call my retreat "The Awakening." In those early days the word “Awakening” was fairly unknown. Since then it has shown up in numerous titles of books, seminars, retreats etc. During the first public Awakening retreat in 1981, there was a new process we wanted to try called "Connected Breath." I had done it one on one, but hadn't seen it done for a whole group. It's simple process where everyone lies down on sleeping pads, and then breathes deeply for 20 or 30 minutes. Out of deep breathing the brain receives extra oxygen, and the two halves of the brain make unprecedented connections. Ancient cultures including the Egyptians and Native Americans have known this and many use such breathing techniques into their rituals for spiritual enlightenment. After a few minutes everyone starts to go some place within themselves where the most vital healing is needed. During the process, some people were crying, some people were laughing hysterically and couldn't stop; some people were releasing anger or rage. It's the strangest sound to hear every human emotion all at once, in one room. In that sound I heard something truly extra-ordinary- the sound of true healing. I heard it from the perspective of how many generations, human beings had been evolving; building - one brick on top the other, generation after generation, until finally a small percent of the human family would not have to worry about where the next meal was going to come from. Instead of survival, a small group of humanity could focus on the inner world- on happiness and elevated consciousness. While overseeing the process, I suddenly experienced something truly amazing. In my experience, I went back into the spirit realm before I was born and remembered key moments and decisions. I have to use metaphors, because English doesn't quite describe what I witnessed. Imagine that we're all in a big space, and someone is calling out jobs. "We need some of you to die by hanging so that your people can one day be free. We need people to die of starvation as children so that humans will end hunger, and experience the biggest spiritual explosion the world has ever seen." etc. When they called out my job, my mission, to create and facilitate "the Awakening," I was raising my hand like an excited schoolboy. Like 'Horshack' from the 70's T.V. show 'Welcome Back Kotter,' I was giddy. “Ooo! Ooo…!!!" When they chose me, I stood up and beyond explanation, all these decisions got made at once. I knew that given my purpose, I needed to develop a lot of determination, since I would attempt to give a gift before it's time. I realized that if I chose a short body, I also chose all the struggles of being short, laughed at, teased and bullied. Given my unique spirit, this would develop a lot of determination.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 42 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo I needed to ignite my compassion. I realized that if I was born to a stepped on and dominated bloodline, like African American, Native American or Mexican, and if I were to go through all the prejudice and outcast issues, it would ignite my compassion. I remembered choosing my mom for specific reason. Her nervous breakdown would ignite my wanting to be a healer. My dad would inspire me, and from him I would inherit many of my 'favorite' hang-ups. I remember choosing my brothers and sisters and working out little details of why one would be older and younger. It now makes sense that people often choose the parents with their exact same issues as if they are looking for someone who will do the best job of putting in their face in their own particular defense or protection. This dysfunction passed on from generation to generation represents the struggle this person gets to overcome in the physical realm, and the eventual triumph of their spirit's particular gift. While revisiting the spirit realm, I felt I knew what the soul is. What I experienced is that the soul is not your body, your brain, your thoughts, your feelings, your past, your reactions, and especially is not your recorded defensiveness. The soul is a unique individualized intention; it is in simple language, a message. In the same way that every cell in your body has a unique individualized function, and no two cells have the same function, so it is with souls. In essence, YOU are an intention, a declaration, a vision or dream, or purpose … a message. All of your life's triumphs and defeats revolve around these messages.

The soul is a unique individualized intention- It is in simple language, a message. All of your life's triumphs and defeats revolve around these messages.

All of the best moments of your life and the worst moments of your life revolve around your message.

You came to learn the lessons you came to teach, to contribute.

If you find a work or activity to express these messages of your soul, you have discovered your purpose and your destiny.

If you find a work or activity to express these messages of your soul, you have discovered your purpose and your destiny.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 43 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Have you ever been driving when a song comes on you've never heard before and instantly recognize that this song will be one of you’re all time favorites. Or have you read a book and loved it so much you go to others and excitedly ask, "Have you read this book?" And they say, "Yeah, I did read that book. It was O.K." And with a jaw that drops open you say, "O.K.? O.K? This is THE book! This is the most amazing book…." And for you, it is! Everyone has their favorite movies, art or poetry, and these things are keys to their passions and their purpose. Go back and look at the Exercise that you did earlier in this Chapter, You Are What You Love. See that this rings true. Why do we love some so much more than others? We love them because those movies, books, heroes or art and poetry reflect back to us our core message. They reflect back to us our very souls. How can you tell what are the core themes, these fundamental messages are? The ones you came to teach and to learn? Your messages are reflected back to you in those passions- the things that you love the most.

Your messages are reflected back to you in those passions – The things that you love the most.

If you could see who you truly are, you would realize that, as powerful as you see your heroes is truly nothing to how amazing your true self is. What you can imagine your heroes as, is but a very small glimpse of the true nature of your beauty and power.

You Are What You Love

Identify 5 or more adjectives for one of your passions in each category listed below: Examples with Adjectives Music: The Rose -Touching, Moving, Inspiring Movie: Field of Dreams- Uplifting, Spiritual, Magical Book: Chicken Soup for the Soul- Stirs to action, Courageous, Forever Hero: Gandhi- Healing, Forgiving, Magnificent, Compassionate

Your Selections: Put on a separate page – write in your journal

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 44 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Next, imagine you are that Passion and had a message to give to the world. As that Passion, what would your message to the world be in a one-sentence bottom line message?

Passions with Message

Music: The Rose- “Nothing is more powerful than love and light.” Movie: Field of Dreams- “Miracles are all around us, if we have the eyes to see.” Book: Chicken Soup for the Soul- “The heroic caring of people is alive today.” Hero: Gandhi- “Compassion moves mountains and changes the world.”

If you wanted to get close to someone as quickly and effectively as possible – to know someone as deeply or intimately as possible, there is no exercise you could do that is easier or safer that this one above! Why? Because you are sharing your soul with each other every round. Try sharing this exercise with someone you want to get closer to for an hour and see what magic occurs!

Self-Compassion Is the Key to Progression

Now that we know that weaknesses are only incognito strengths, the question is remaining: How do you turn your weaknesses into strengths? The simple idea that weaknesses are disguised strengths has profound implications for the way that we approach our self and our empowerment process. Now we find that not only do we waste our energy in trying to change ourselves by pushing or disciplining ourselves to do something different, but that these methods are ultimately self-defeating. They are doomed to fail. As long as you make your weaknesses “bad” and “wrong” you are resisting them. As Carl Jung said, “What you resist persists.” The more you criticize yourself for these weaknesses, the more another part of you rebels and acts out this bad habit even more in a subconscious attempt to be a brat and say, “There’s nothing wrong with me…” Instead, we have found that the most effective method for turning weaknesses into strengths is safety and self-compassion. To really grow, heal, and become more of your enormous potential you need to approach yourself with the compassion, encouragement and unconditional love and acceptance that is natural to your true being. You need to be very gentle with yourself in the extreme!

Self-Compassion Is the Key to Progression.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 45 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Self-Compassion

Science has proven that energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be transformed from one form of energy to another. Energy is eternal. Every plant, animal, thing, or being is just a different form, a different expression of this certain energy. Light, energy, intelligence, being, love, are all words to describe the one certain something that all forms have as their source. What is, is eternal. I propose that the one energy in its purest form is love. Ultimately it is the only energy that exists. Love is all there is.

I am the circle / of eternal flame Self- fed / from this fire / all things proceed / in it all things have their being / and to it / all things return.

When you discover a mistake, or a self-defeating behavior, you need to approach yourself like you might approach a small child who spills the milk. You need to lovingly smile and give some coaching on how to more effectively hold the glass so that the same mistake can be avoided and so the correction is something that strengthens the child, providing them with a greater sense that "I can do this!" There is an incredible story told by a Nobel Prize winner when the press asked him if there was one moment he could remember that most resulted in him winning the prize. He said, "Absolutely. As a young child, I spilled the milk all over the kitchen floor. My mom walked in and saw the terrified look on my face. She knelt down and started playing in the milk, inviting me to join her. We laughed and giggled for a while and then said. O.K., it's time to clean up the mess." I learned that it's O.K. to make messes." Learning to be compassionate with yourself as well as others is the key, yet it is an incredible and ongoing lifetime challenge that requires an endless commitment. Even though self-compassion is THE key, it seems at times an impossible thing to accomplish. However, it is certainly worth learning since until it happens all that occurs is a vicious cycle of emotional "beat up" and making the same mistakes over and over again, forever. Now, the focus becomes how can I be gentle enough and compassionate enough with myself in order to feel truly safe about taking the risks I want to take? How can I create enough safety for myself to make movement through the barriers, which until now have stopped me? This book teaches people specifically how to do this, and thus accomplish unprecedented results in their own life success. The way we will learn to consistently practice self compassion when it comes to ourselves and truly turn our weaknesses into our greatest strengths is through the Seven Master Keys, which are detailed in Part II of this book. The practice of each of these Master Key brings forth such a connection to our true source that in reality, by doing any one of them you will actually doing all of them, and they will keep you on the path to the Dream.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 46 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Ch. 4 Points of Power

A problem is not bad news. A problem is very good news. A problem is the doorway.

If you don't learn the lesson this round, don't worry. The universe is so kind, it will make sure you get this lesson again… And again… and again, until you either learn the lesson or die, whichever comes first.

If every problem is a gift in disguise, it would mean that everything about you is an expression of your magnificence.

Every behavior can always be boiled down to a request. The request is always a request for something good, wonderful and loving, what I call a “Sweetheart Message. It is a request for something positive; in essence love.

You are magnificence. You are a unique expression of a perfect love. Sometimes you express that perfect love imperfectly. You are the love that is perfect, not the expression that quite often is very imperfect.

The soul is a unique individualized intention; it is in simple language, a message. All of your life's triumphs and defeats revolve around these messages. All of the best moments of your life and the worst moments of your life revolve around your message.

You came to learn the lessons you came to teach, to contribute.

If you find a work or activity to express these messages of your soul, you have discovered your purpose and your destiny.

These themes are reflected back to you in those passions, which you love the most.

Self-Compassion is the key to progression.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 47 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 5: How Life Works- “The Path with Heart” Model

In my seminars I ask the audience, "How many of you would like to know once and for all how life works?" People raise their hands. I add jokingly, "I’m only going to teach those who raised their hands." Why do we care so much about how life works? It’s very simple. When I know how life works, I can create wonders in my life. When I don’t know, I keep trying to make life work, but most often work against life. As Werner Erhard would say, “It’s easier to ride the horse in the direction he’s going.” I’m going to give you a simple model of “How Life Works” with profound applications. A good model can capture a lot of intricate and detailed information and simplify it to its essence, so that it makes a whole new kind of sense. As a concept in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) asserts, “the map is not the territory.” Even though any model tends to oversimplify, the distilled version can quite often shed light that the intricate details cannot. Over and over again, in my seminars, retreats and private practice, I’ve seen people look at this model, and drop their jaws when they realize how simple life is, and how it truly works. They seem to realize instantly the places they’ve been struggling, and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to magically appear. I’ve found that most profound principles teach us eternally. We never seem to get over the ability to learn from a principle so powerful, yet so simple. This model has given me huge advantages as a facilitator and as a coach with couples, corporate leaders, teenagers, and all of those I empower. When I train coaches and facilitators, this is one of the first models I teach them because it makes the process of empowering others so simple yet impactful. Think of this section as a workbook. Use your journal for jotting down thoughts, or fill out the workbook with your real life examples. By doing this you will accelerate the impact this has on you.

How Life Works

These instructions taken from our courses will assist you to create the simple model of “How Life Works” for yourself. On a clean page in your journal, draw the following step by step.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 48 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo • Write the title at the top of the page- “HOW LIFE WORKS”. Write it out so it looks and sounds dramatic. Like the words have an echo to them – “HOW…LIFE…WORKS…”

• Under the title, draw a big circle that takes up 1/4 of the page, and in the circle put “The Dream” (aspiration, vision, goal, purpose, mission, etc.) Remember, you will be graded on your artwork, boys and girls!

• From the bottom of the circle, to the bottom of the page, draw two parallel lines, like a path leading to the dream. Don't make the path too skinny. You don't want to fall off the path!

• To the left of the path and to the right of the path put the word PAIN. You might write under one of these “pains” other words that describe the pain we're discussing. Words like “Upsets, problems, barriers, patterns, dysfunctions, defenses, conflicts, etc.”

• Now above one of these words called ‘Pain’ write “Wimping out.” Then above the other word called ‘Pain’ write, “Ripping their face off.”

Now take a long look at the model you have created. That’s it! That’s how life works. It is truly that simple! Although SIMPLE should never be confused with EASY!

The Path with Heart Model

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 49 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo “Happiness” is Living IN the Dream The first key to creating personal peace and satisfaction is to remember the following.

In every right now . . . satisfaction occurs Whenever you are doing one simple (although rarely easy) thing – Living in the dream.

When you are living in the dream, you create satisfaction. It is important to realize that satisfaction occurs whenever you do ANY of the seven Master Keys. Living in the Dream is the last of the seven and will be discussed in Chapter 12. Satisfaction or fulfillment will occur when you are connecting your daily activities to your dream, experiencing your activities as your dream, vision, or passion. It will occur when you are doing whatever you do as if your dream depends on it. It is when you are doing what you love and loving what you’re doing.

If you are not connecting what you are doing right now (whether it’s paying the bills, taking out the garbage, or talking to a co-worker) to your current aspiration, you are not in a state of satisfaction. You are in a state called "Going through the Motions." You are off track, off path and have entered the Pain Zone. You may find yourself upset, dissatisfied, or any number of negative states. The following explanations of each major part of the model will help you understand the Path with Heart Model further.

The Dream The Dream represents your visions, aspirations, missions, purposes, etc. All the visuals you create about the dreams in various areas of your life. In your love life or in your money or other areas, you have dreams and visions of what means the most to you. Dreams are basically pictures or visions of what you desire. Those deepest in your heart will certainly reflect the purposes that make your heart sing.

The Path The Path very simply represents the path you take to reach your visions. Whether you are aware of it or not, whenever you do one of the Seven Master Keys you are on path. When you are not on path you are in pain.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 50 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The Pain The Pain represents any of your upsets, problems, barriers, obstacles, dysfunctions, self-defeating or non-working behaviors etc. Life is a pleasure-pain system designed to guide you to your dreams, designed to guide you to the light. The pain is basically any of your bad news. All the things you don’t want. As something that we feel very acutely, pain is a message from our inner being. Very simply, Pain is a Signal asking for a correction!

Life is a pleasure - pain system Designed to guide you to your dreams, Designed to guide you to the light.

Nobody likes pain, yet pain is one of our greatest teachers! Many forms of pain, including upsets, problems and barriers are in essence a signal designed to let you know you’ve gotten off track and off of the path to your dream.

Most forms of pain have a simple message for you. When you put your hand in the fire, The pain says, “Go in a different direction...”

Most pain is simply asking for a correction, an adjustment, and a course correction.

Every upset is a flashing red light on a highly sensitive instrument within you that is trying to tell you to get back on track with yourself- to be authentic and honor your truth.

When you have an upset, Pain says, “You’re off track, You just gave up your power;

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 51 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo you just gave up your self, get it back! You just gave in, or 'sold out' or swallowed your truth! You're not being authentic! Get your power back, get back on track!"

These are the elements of the Path with Heart Model. The Path, the Dream, and the Pain. Very simply, how you move through the model opens the elements of satisfaction or dis-satisfaction, pleasure and pain, and all associated polarities. Now that you have this understanding, you will begin to see how you move about within it. It will be a truly enlightening experience.

Upsets

ALL upsets begin at the same exact place and end at the same exact place, although people rarely notice where they begin or end.

All upsets start at the instant of SELF-BETRAYAL. All upsets end the moment you make a commitment to honor your truth.

The moment that you give in, go along with, put up with it, swallow your thoughts or feelings, or in some other way “sell out,” you have an upset. You simply cannot bake a cake without the key ingredients. You cannot bake an upset cake without the key ingredient, which is selling out- self-betrayal! Most people never look to see where their upsets start or end. Look for yourself – test this principle, and see if it isn’t true! Give this principle a possibility. If it is true, then what does this mean about your current upsets? Where did you betray your own truth? Where did you give in, go along with other’s expectations, swallow instead of speaking up? Where were you talked into doing something you truly don’t want to do, or where are you not doing something you truly want to do?

My Quest: Learning the Essence of every Upset, Problem or Obstacle

In Cedu Foundation, the live-in community where I experienced my first ‘awakening’ as a teenager, we met in groups three times a week. Over and over again I got to witness people being brutally honest about their upsets, the below the surface

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 52 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo feelings and their pain and wounds. Again and again it became obvious that the source of their pain (their upset, their problems and obstacles, their being ‘stuck’) was the fact that they were betraying their own truth. They were doing what we called “selling out.” They were “giving in”, or “going along with,” or “putting up with,” and either not doing what they truly wanted to do, or doing something they didn’t want to do. They were in self-betrayal. This became obvious within the first few dozen times I saw through people go through these very deep and moving processes of truth telling. By the time I had seen over a hundred such examples, it was a profound and obvious truth of life. Before I left Cedu Foundation three years later, I probably saw well over a thousand such examples. By the time I was twenty-one, the one truth I knew unequivocally was that the source of all upsets and problems was self-betrayal- not honoring one’s own truth, which is the most fundamental skill to being happy.

The single most fundamental skill to being happy And successful is honoring one's truth.

The essential ingredient in all upsets is self-betrayal. You literally cannot be upset until the instant you betray your self. At that instant of betraying your true nature, you create an upset. You "sell out." You collapse. You quit. You swallow your feelings. You stifle your thoughts. You put up with, go along with, give in. In short, you act in a way that is not true to your self. You stop being authentic. That's when you become upset and the red light called 'pain' begins to flash. It hurts to dishonor your truth. If you ignore the pain and keep doing what is not true for you, what happens to the pain? It grows, the pain gets worse. It grows and grows until you get anxiety, or depression or worse. The pain continues to get worse and worse, resulting in financial problems, in horrendous circumstances, in addictions, and in a life spiraling downhill for people.

The following are examples of pain, which if not addressed will get worse and worse.

• The smart person in a dumb job who needs to live up to their potential, and wants to start a business or private practice, but is too afraid to leave the security in order to bet on yourself.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 53 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo • The teenager who suspects that drugs are gambling with a loaded gun, but is more committed to having fun.

• The wife who knew the day she married that this was a mistake and was too afraid to speak up, so she spent her years torturing her partner because of all the withheld resentment storing up. By the third year the intimacy had left, and they are now little more than roommates.

• The corporate executive who won at someone else's expense and is haunted by it, but refuses to clean up his mess because it's too scary to say, "I'm so sorry… I was a real jerk…"

• The womanizer who knows consciously that he is lying to women in order to seduce them and breaking their hearts to use them to fill his needs.

• The woman who keeps attracting men who abuse her (verbally or physically) because she so afraid to draw her boundaries, believing if she doesn't put up with it, she'll have nothing.

• The father who left when the kids were babies because he was afraid that he would be "bad" for them, and told himself, "They'll be better off without me…" and doesn't know how to clean up the mess and be in their life and share the most precious moments that life has to offer.

Most pain is simply asking for an adjustment, a course correction.

When we get coaching or counseling and talk about what seems so scary, our fear can be transformed, we can create the safety we need to make the adjustment or course correction, to clean up the mess, and start a new life. We can be the prodigal sons, returning to the father. The pain ultimately wants the self, not others, to do something different. It is calling you to use a behavior or strategy that works! The pain is asking you to not "wimp out" or "rip their face off," but to honor your truth and ask for what is true at one hundred percent!

The following are examples of this concept.

• When your teenager is "acting out" by getting into trouble and obviously in some form of pain, what is the pain asking for?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 54 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The TEENAGER to make an adjustment!

• When the wife is “acting out” her pain by grabbing an emotional relationship outside the marriage, and in some form of pain, what it the pain asking for?

The WIFE to make a correction.

• When a business manager’s team or department is in emotional upset, not working, demonstrating poor performance, poor sales or poor results which are all reflections of pain, what is the pain asking for?

The BUSINESS MANAGER and their TEAM or DEPARTMENT to make an adjustment!

• When a store, franchise, company or organization is in some form of pain, what is the pain asking for?

The STORE, FRANCHISE, COMPANY or ORGANIZATION to make an adjustment!

• When the womanizer who knows consciously is acting out his pain of not feeling “good enough” by using women, what is the pain asking for?

For the WOMANIZER to make a correction.

• When the woman who keeps attracting abusive men is acting out her painful fear of not being able to attract anyone else, what is the pain asking for?

For the WOMAN unable to draw her boundaries to make a corrections.

• When the father who acted out his fear and pain left his children what is the pain asking for?

For the FATHER to make a correction. (Perhaps to clean up the mess and reconnect with his children)

The upset or pain ultimately wants the self, Not others, to do something different!

In all these cases, there is a distinct way that the person involved guarantees that they will stay in the pain. How does the person:

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 55 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Maintain the non-working behavior? BY FINDING SOMEONE TO BLAME! Avoid making the adjustment? BY FINDING SOMEONE TO BLAME! Maintain the pain? BY FINDING SOMEONE TO BLAME! Continue to repeat the non-working pattern? BY FINDING SOMEONE TO BLAME!

The bigger the problem, upset, or turmoil, the greater the power available, if you tap into it by identifying the correction the pain is asking for. Once you are committed to higher ground, to growing and greater blessings you consider your upsets as prized possessions! You see upsets as pure gold. Each one is a golden opportunity. Your upsets are the gateway to your own heaven, enlightenment and joy. Within your upset is everything you need to heal. Each upset contains the pattern of non-working thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and behavior, which creates the results you don’t want. Each upset is the essence of self-betrayal. Heal and re-program the tapes and you have entered higher ground with much better results. Of course, there is the kind of pain that comes with birth, and it is natural. Natural pain is like the grief we experience in a tragedy as when we lose a child. Grief and sadness are a natural part of loss. But in order to create an upset, you must add self-betrayal to the mix. Once you add self-betrayal to natural sadness, you now have an upset. This upset is asking you to make a correction. This is why the natural grief process can lead parents who lose a child to identify their unfinished business and what they regret. If they then make commitments to do something different in the future, the natural grief process will naturally lead them to a spiritual insight, discovery or "aha" that puts perspective over this tragic loss. When you listen to the messages of your pain and upsets, you can get back on track. When you are moving towards your dream, you are happy, fulfilled, satisfied and receiving blessings instead of lessons. When you are on track and moving toward the dream, you are doing one of a few skills that keep you in a state of being called “happy” (satisfied, complete, resolved, at peace etc.). These include the Seven Master Keys of this book.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 56 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

The Path with Heart Model

The ONLY Two Defenses (2 Reactions) You will see that as long as you stay on the path to your dream you can avoid the pain of your nonsense. When people want to protect themselves from the world they develop what psychology calls defenses. It turns out that it is our defenses that create all of our pain and problems.

If you were to take a video of most smart, well meaning, capable, hard working people, you would notice that when their personal productivity and performance drops, they are doing one of two fundamental non-working behaviors- being Passive or Aggressive. When someone pushes an emotional button, we then have an automatic reaction from our “Fight or Flight” mind. We do one of two non-working behaviors, which drops our performance.

The Only Two Defenses (Reactions)

When we react, we either: 1. WIMP OUT (get quiet, go away, put up with, ignore, swallow, succumb, pretend it's no big deal, take our marbles and go home),

OR

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 57 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo 2. "RIP THEIR FACE OFF" (verbally or non-verbally attack, put down, find fault, attach blame, shame, fault or guilt, make them wrong, make them "bad" etc.)

The only two defenses are “Wimping out” or “Ripping their face off.”

Chapter Five Supplement: Advanced Principles on How Life Works Blessings and Lessons

Now that I’ve covered the fundamental principles of How Life Works, I want to give you more advanced principles with greater power to impact your life. With each of the following principles – don’t just understand them! Apply them! As Werner Erhard used to say, “In life understanding is the booby prize.” Life either delivers blessings (good news) or lessons (bad news). When would you imagine life is most likely to deliver blessings (good news)? When would you imagine life is most likely to deliver lessons (bad news)?

When you are on track with your dream, with your soul’s progression, Life can deliver blessings. When you’re off track life can deliver lessons. The more off track you are, the bigger the lesson. The more on track you are, the bigger the blessing. (When you are on track with your dream, on track with your soul’s progression)

Identify examples in your life of where the principles have applied. Try to list 3 examples of when you were woefully off track and when you were very much on track. Life is designed to support you to honor your truth. So it delivers “blessings” when on track and “lessons” when off track.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 58 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The Path with Heart Model

Moving Toward the Edge

Moving toward the dream will often seem as though you are “jumping off a cliff.” Think of the edge of the cliff as taking the big leap you need to take. Once your soul recognizes that you are finally safe enough to consider jumping “off the cliff” and breaking through to a new level of higher ground, your soul elicits blessings from life, from the universe, from spirit to signal you that you are “on track.” When a person who feels that they are stuck in a dead end job makes the decision to leave the situation, it is very likely that they will feel like they are jumping off a cliff, into an unknown situation not knowing how they will land, how large the cliff is, or what is waiting for them at the bottom. Often, it is also like we are looking at the edge of the cliff in one dimension. We can’t judge the distance or the path from looking over it, but we just know that it is there. Once we jump, however, in this case by leaving a situation that is not ideal, that is not our dream, we often realize that the jump is not a fall at all, but indeed that we are swept up in the energy of our vision to higher, not lower ground. And a blessing awaits, in the form of an opportunity, an interview perhaps, or even a job offer that fits exactly what we are wanting.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 59 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

When one makes a choice to get back on track, Often a blessing shows up ‘out of the blue’ to send them a message. “Now you are on track!” And if you look closely you might see God looking around the corner waving at you!

Here is an example. A client came in so depressed about his financial mess, that he was suicidal. I had him draw the model called “How Life Works” (The dream – the path – the pain). It was my joy to tell him, “If we can discover just one or two corrections that your soul is convinced will get you back on track, then two things will happen: 1) You will shift your state of being… You will feel better! 2) A blessing will show up out of the blue to confirm that you are now on track.” In that first hour we identified a major correction that he was convinced would put him back on track and give him true hope. He realized that he'd been overspending in order to keep his girlfriend from leaving him, and since he was "selling out," he resented her, but was too afraid to speak up. He also realized that like most of us, he would "push himself" from his own internal "critical parent" within, to be overly frugal to pay off his debts, and of course the internal "inner child" within would feel like there was no fun in his life, so when the "kid" had had enough, he would emotionally go out and overspend like crazy. We brainstormed some simple first steps that would feel like he was truly moving in the right direction. When he mentioned a specific product that hadn’t sold for many months, I said I wouldn’t be surprised if he got an unexpected sale out of the blue. The following week he did get an unexpected sale. With his jaw dropped in sheer amazement, he asked, “How did you know?” I gleefully answered, “Because that's how life works! When you’re off track you get lessons, when you’re on track you get blessings!” Within 3 months of working together, he had received an opportunity that not only turned around his finances but it catapulted his income! As a reader of this book, once you truly realize the connection between honoring your truth, getting on track and the blessings that will manifest, it will change your life! I get emails all the time from people who wake up to this connection and can’t wait to tell me about the blessings they created by getting back on track.

Here is an example of one such email I received. It shows how one person applied these principles in his own words:

“When I sell out and don’t honor my truth… I attract some lessons to help me decide not to sell out anymore. If I am not ‘on track’ by living the seven Master Keys, my

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 60 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo ability to attract blessings will be so diminished that it is nearly impossible to tell if I am actually attracting any blessings at all. Once I break through the fear and start to get back on track even a little bit, my soul blesses me and I am able to miraculously attract whatever I want almost immediately. Earlier this year, I was not honoring my truth when I allowed all my agreements with a partner to be verbal instead of written agreements. I was visualizing 3 times a day that ten thousand bucks would come my way. Nothing showed up. Then I forced the issue with my partner as much as I possibly could. I didn’t take no for an answer and I got a third party witness involved. I feel that I actually did everything I should’ve done regarding getting a written contract. As soon as I did that, even though my partner let me down, ten thousand bucks showed up from the most unlikely source! Now I see that it showed up within a couple days BECAUSE I began to honor my truth. I think this is a big deal. I think back to what has happened over the past month or so, and I see the same pattern. I have been visualizing, hoping, and now praying for my business to ‘take off’ and produce some abundance for me and my family. It wasn’t until after I got back on track, and had the enrollment conversations I was afraid to have that all of a sudden, great news shows up; millionaires are calling me out of the blue and are looking for what I have, and other people are moving mountains for me and fighting battles for me. As soon as I get back on track, a client I haven’t heard from in 2 months calls me out of the blue, another client I’d given up on signs up, the bank starts to make things happen to streamline MY business flow… AND I get a piece of the ownership of ALL the deals that the investment company has. THIS IS SO HUGE! They have put me on salary, (pending production) and a residual income is almost guaranteed! This first client is talking about investing 7 figures in multiple investments!! That could potentially pay me a solid 5 figures and maybe even 6 figures!!!!! WITH RESIDUAL INCOME!!!!! OK, so I am getting a clearer picture now . . . to the degree that I am off track, is the degree that my ability to attract blessings is diminished. And to the degree that I am on track, is the degree to which I can say I want a million bucks to show up, and it does. This fits so well with my theology, my philosophy, and I feel that it is a big piece of the puzzle for a lot of people. I have heard you teach about getting on track equals blessings a million times, but this insight is particularly about the ability to attract what you want and take more advantage of one’s godly powers of attraction.”

Every time you go in for a one-on-one session with any great coach or facilitator, the process has one bottom-line: There is a behavior you are doing which does not work. It doesn't work for one simple reason. It doesn't honor your truth. It's NOT authentic. It's some form of “Wimping out” or "Ripping off their face." The point of the coaching or “Inner Focus” session is to discover this session’s adjustment -- to find the

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 61 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo behavior and correction that the pain is asking for. The point of a good session with a good counselor or coach is to find the correction that this layer of the onion is seeking. Let me make a proposal. Don’t believe anything I tell you. Don’t just blindly believe me. All I ask is that you give these principles a possibility. Play with the idea. Better yet, test me. Try it on in your own life. If it doesn’t fit, throw it out.

Journal Exercise: Blessings When “On Track”

Try this. In your time management system (smart phone – Day Timer, etc.) or journal devote a page to “Success.” Track this for 1 – 3 weeks. Put in 3 columns as follows:

Successes Difficulty (0-100) Blessings

Under Successes, list a success. For example, “I said “No” to my brother’s expectations and honored my Truth.

Under Difficulty, rate on the a scale of 100 how difficult your Success was.

Under Blessings, list the Blessing that showed up out of the blue. For example, “Someone whom I forgot owed me money showed up and paid me!” If you can’t immediately identify the blessing, wait for it. It will come.

Approaching the Cliff

As you move toward the dream, you go through rounds every few years where you consider getting closer to the edge of the cliff. Every few years you may consider taking the BIG leap into a much higher level of your larger self. When big leaps are involved, the closer you get to the edge of the cliff, the more it looks like death to your “Fight or Flight” mind, and the more this “Fight or Flight” mind will do anything to sabotage your progress. Thus you inadvertently create round after round of horrendous circumstances! Your soul says, “You’re going to fly!” Your “Fight or Flight” mind says, “You’re going to die!” Your soul manifests positive circumstances, and your mind manifests negative circumstances. So the closer you get to breaking through and jumping off the cliff, the more challenging it becomes to stay in the positive “do want” love-based theater in your mind’s eye. Here is an example: Sally is in a dead end job… the leap is leaving it, the “Fight or Flight” response is “I’m afraid to lose the security of the money I’m making,” you then she goes out and purchases a new car or such with a higher payment which keeps

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 62 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo her even more in bondage to her present job and income stream? This is typically all subconscious goings on. In your time management system, identify examples in your life of where your “Fight or Flight” mind worked to get in the way of a leap you wanted to take. As the circumstances get worse and worse, what does it mean? You're getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff! When is it the very worst? Of course, it is right before you jump off the cliff, and are on the verge of breaking through.

Journal Exercise: Identify examples in your life where you have or have had “Fight or Flight” responses.

Remember, all upsets or emotional pain are asking for what? It is asking for an adjustment, a correction. “Go in a different direction!” your soul is whispering. The argument is frequently a very simple one. It’s hard, you say. What if, you ask. What if it doesn’t work out? What if my thoughts are wrong, misdirected, misguided? What if I crash and burn, fail, DIE? These thoughts come from your “Fight or Flight” mind. They come from fear, doubt and negativity. They will attract more of the same to hold you in bondage. More pain. The following key is universal.

You will not make the change until your pain Gets one ounce bigger than your fear. People will not change until it’s easier to change Than not to change.

If the fear is fairly small, the pain that is needed is fairly small. If the fear is huge, the pain that is needed for the teeter to totter is huge!

The value of one-on-one coaching or processing, which goes below the surface, is that you can re-program and whittle down the fear and get safer and safer until you need next to no pain in order to change! This book is a great first step in understanding this process.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 63 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo What is God’s Will? Keep this in mind as you read the next Point of Power. Whenever I talk about God – please remember that I’d like you to put that in your concept of God or no God whatever works for you; whether you hold that principle as a man, a woman, nature, forces, intelligence or otherwise. Gary

Pain is God’s gift to support us in choosing to be true to self- To honor our truth, to be authentic, to stay on path with our dream, And to know joy and peace and fulfillment, And this is God’s will. Pain’s is God’s gift to support us in choosing God’s will.

Of course, when pain says, “Go in a different direction…” we still have free will and are more than welcome to create as much pain as needed until we can choose what works! What works will be God’s will, in harmony with your path and dream. With all problems, there is a choice you are avoiding. If you make the choice that is in harmony with your path and dream, all the pain and suffering of this current problem will disappear. When you get the correction and realize the choice that needs to be made, you will be on track, the pain will stop and blessings will show up out of the blue!

All problems have one thing in common- You haven’t made a choice.

The pain will continue to grow, and circumstances will get worse and worse until you do one simple (though often not easy) thing- MAKE A CHOICE. Usually about the time we are in excruciating pain, and we’re ready to cry ‘Uncle’ is when we make the choice that seems so death defying.

The Truth about Problems

Ultimately our problems are self-created balls and chains Designed to prevent us from moving toward the dream!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 64 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo It’s often easiest to see this principle played out in the roles of primary partner relationships. Consider the well-known, oft used phrase “ball and chain” that many people use jokingly (or not) to refer to their other halves. As in all jokes and humor, there is an element of truth in this phrase. All romantic relationship will trade the role of blamer at times, when each partner is afraid to move toward his or her dream. You may say, “You are my ball and chain!”, or to others, “He/She is my ball and chain”, and blame your partner for holding you back from something on your path so that you don’t have to show up, shine and be a gift in the world.

Journal Exercise: On Track With Your Dream

Identify examples in your life of when you have made choices, or not made choices, resulting in being on or off track with your dream.

Until your soul is convinced you are on track with your dream, the painful circumstances will continue to get worse and worse in order to birth you past your fears. Could it be possible that by getting on track with your dream you would increase your organization, finish your unfinished projects, heal or enhance your relationships and significantly increase your income? One frequently encountered attitude is “I’ll move toward the dream as soon as…” The other, more effective one is “I’ll move toward my dream so that these obstacles move out of the way.” It takes less energy to take the positive attitude and will yield astounding results. Your problems, your negative circumstances or situations, your upsets, your obstacles, your pain, are all asking for one thing: for you to make an adjustment, a correction. You are merely being asked to choose a behavior or to make a choice that honors your truth. People who have done deeper level coaching and emotional processing for a while have a great advantage. They can get more done in an hour and a half, than what beginners can do in 5 hours. I believe it's because they discover that the point of the coaching or “Inner Focus” sessions is to discover the adjustments I have been discussing -- to find the behavior that the pain is asking for. The point of a good session with a good counselor or coach is to find the correction that this layer of the onion of self is seeking. Every time you go in for a one-on-one session with any great coach or facilitator, the process has one bottom-line: There is a behavior you are doing which does not work. It doesn't work for one simple reason. It doesn't honor your truth. It's NOT authentic. It's some form of “Wimping out” or "Ripping off their face." Every

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 65 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo consideration you mention about why you cannot move forward is exactly why you don’t want to wait any longer to get the best coaching you can. You and the universe are designed to succeed. It is your very nature to produce successful results. If you are not producing successful results, you are like a sound system that will not play music because it is off the dial or because one of the components has stopped functioning. When your life is like this sound system, it is neither bad nor wrong. It is simply doesn't work. Where there could be music, there is silence. Worse, there is noise. If you want to fulfill your potential, you must be willing to look deeply within yourself and discover what is out of adjustment and what is not working. You must do this without judgment, blame, shame, fault or guilt. Only then will your life become the symphony it was meant to be. Even children can understand this. When I asked the seminar participants to share what they had learned, a nine-year-old girl in my training said to everyone, "I learned that I am responsible for my own happiness."

The Intent to Empower

When you are not happy, it is because you are not living in the dream. Your pain is asking for a correction, and you will learn the way to make your corrections is ultimately through the intent to empower. This chapter will show you how by using the power of intention, and by intending to empower yourself and others, you can make the most vital corrections to catapult you to your dreams. In relationships this will manifest by establishing a revolutionary relationship; a coaching relationship. In a coaching relationship, you will literally coach each other on how to say what you are trying to say, but in a way that speaks to your “Master Key combination lock of the heart.” When you consider a typical relationship pattern of fighting or discussion, this is a revolutionary way for both people to get their messages to the other person, and to know that they receive it. Earlier I said you would learn the way to make your corrections is ultimately through the intent to empower. The following principles will show you that the most powerful way to transform anything is the intent to empower. Whether you want to transform a bad habit like smoking, or transform someone who’s verbally going for your jugular, and turn the verbal ‘monster’ into a verbal ‘teddy bear’ within minutes, it happens through the intent to empower.

3 Key Principles of Making Life Work 1. Happiness is “Living in the Dream.” 2. Most pain is asking for an adjustment – a correction. 3. The key to all corrections is the intent to empower.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 66 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo This chapter can be boiled down very simply to 3 key principles. These 3 principles are fundamentally the summary of my work! They may be simple to understand, but applying them to integration will absolutely transform your life.

Ch. 5 Points of Power: How Life Works: “The Path with Heart” Model

In every right now . . . satisfaction occurs whenever you are doing one simple (although rarely easy) thing - Living in the dream.

Life is a pleasure - pain system designed to guide you to your dreams, designed to guide you to the light.

All forms of pain have a simple message for you. When you put your hand in a fire, the pain says, “Go in a different direction . . .”

When you have an upset, pain says, “You’re off track, you just gave up your power, you just gave up yourself, get it back! You just gave in, or 'sold out' or swallowed your truth. You're not being authentic. Get your power back, get back on track!"

All upsets start at the instant of SELF-BETRAYAL. All upsets end the moment you make a commitment to honor your truth.

The single most fundamental skill to being happy is honoring one's truth.

Most PAIN is simply ASKING FOR AN ADJUSTMENT, a course correction.

The upset or pain ultimately wants the self (NOT OTHERS) to do something different!

The Only Two Defenses are WIMP OUT or "RIPPING THEIR FACE OFF.”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 67 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Ch. 5 Supplemental Points of Power: Advanced Principles on How Life Works

When you are on track life delivers blessings. When you are off track life delivers lessons. The more off track you are, the bigger the lesson. The more on track you are, the bigger the blessing. (On track with your dream, on track with your soul’s progression)

When one makes a choice to get back on track, a blessing shows up ‘out of the blue’ to send you a message: “Now you are on track!”

You will not make the change until your pain gets one ounce bigger than your fear. People will not change until it’s easier to change than not to change.

What is God’s will? Pain is God’s gift to support us in choosing to be true to self; to honor our truth, to be authentic, to stay on path with our dream, and know joy and peace and fulfillment, and this is God’s will. Pain’s is God’s gift to support us in choosing God’s will.

All problems have one thing in common; you haven’t made a choice. The pain will continue to grow, and circumstances will get worse and worse until you do one simple (though rarely easy) thing- MAKE A CHOICE.

Ultimately our problems are self-created balls and chains designed to prevent us from moving toward the dream!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 68 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 6: The Nature of True Being

"To be or not to be; that is the question." William Shakespeare, Hamlet

“The more I tune into my heart, my truth, and surrender to letting it take me where it will, the more I long to surrender to absolutely feel myself be swallowed up by and explode into the bliss of the whole self.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

This chapter is quite a different set of explorations. We will now venture into the more advanced undiscovered country in this magical territory of personal empowerment. This chapter is essential but may be intellectually challenging. Don’t let that stop you, however! It’s a bit like a joke – you either get it or you don’t – but don’t worry, if you don’t get it now – someday, perhaps sooner than you think, it may hit you like a ton of bricks! Some experiences are beyond words! At times words are somewhat inadequate to describe an experience that seems profound. Poets like e.e. cummings do the best at using words to clothe the meaning, and without ever saying it in words they clearly communicate that which is beyond words. I’ve attempted to do this in the many “soul shares” – a kind of poetry for this chapter. The following “soul shares” as we call the little excerpts that will be included in this book for sharing or emphasis. You may notice a slight deviation from the typical format here, it is intentional, and I encourage you to dive in, and let yourself connect with what speaks to you.

What is Being?

To create is to let your heart – your True Self – express itself wholeheartedly and to surrender totally to your true nature. It is this joy of surrender that occurs when the athlete lets go of thinking and becomes the magical moment of absolute, wholehearted intention; when the musician stops playing music and becomes the song; when the writer or artist allows his creation to create itself through his hands. This power of creation is available to everyone in every walk of life – from the student facing finals to the businessperson involved in a difficult project.

Surrender, let the magic work through you, and watch the miracle unfold.

The state of consciousness I referred to as the inner land of wonders is called “Being.” In the course of this chapter, you’ll be learning about what Being truly is. This important concept is central to the teachings of this book.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 69 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Being is a state of inner peace that comes from being totally present with whatever you’re doing or thinking. Being happens when you free yourself of distractions and allow your consciousness to come completely into the present moment, the here and now. Early in my career it became obvious to me that when people had upsets or problems they were resisting something that they Don’t Want. I came to see this as a theater in their consciousness that was fear-based. Whenever they were fulfilled, satisfied, or happy, they were moving toward what they Do Want. This Do Want state of focus came to be known as the Theater of Love (dreams, visions, inspiration, passions, etc). In my work with people, I observed that whenever the line was crossed from the Theater of Fear (the Don’t Want, upsets, fears, etc.) to the Theater of Love, something seems to click into place and a feeling of wholeness permeated their entire consciousness. It was Being. We will explore the Theater of Fear and the Theater of Love in much greater detail in the next chapter. You cannot achieve this state by doing. “Doing-ness” can take you away from your center. You must go in the opposite direction from the one our left-brained culture has probably encouraged you to follow. In other words, you need to move out of your head and into your heart. You may be very wise, but wisdom will not get you to love. As Werner Erhard once said, "You have a power. Actually . . . it would be more accurate to say, you are a power." This power, the key to your freedom, doesn’t depend on circumstances, situations, or other people. This power is available under all conditions and under all circumstances. It’s the power found in the realm of “Being.” Until recently, for most people the inner paradise of Being was only to be found somewhere over the rainbow, or attained through years of devotional practices such as those we associate with saints and gurus. Successful performers, artists, musicians, and athletes stumble onto the realm of Being when they’re truly hot. For the majority of individuals, however, these extraordinary moments are rare. By practicing what you will learn in this book (the Seven Master Keys) over time, you can expect to consistently arrive at the realm of Being. Then you can anchor in this state of consciousness so that it’s readily available at any moment. This power, your key to your own freedom, doesn’t depend on favorable circumstances or on other people. This power is available to you under all conditions and under all circumstances. It’s the power found in the realm of Being--what you might call the realm of heart and soul. When you were a child, Being was your natural state. You experienced, you noticed, you were aware and open, and most of all, you played. As a child, you engaged in freewheeling imaginative play. You were a pirate, or a princess, an action hero, or an animal and you had every power you could imagine. The world and the rules were yours to create. You existed in and through Being. It’s a state of awareness you’ve easily and consistently accessed before. Through the Seven Master Keys, you have the opportunity to remember how to play. You play by dropping into your authentic self, asking what you really want to put your attention on right now and what rules you want to follow, and then doing it. You choose to hang

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 70 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo up the phone on negative or limiting thoughts and dive wholeheartedly into whatever makes your heart sing; that is, into the realm of pure potential. In this chapter, I hope to assist you in understanding what I mean by Being. In the following pages you will read a series of descriptions of the various aspects of what I mean by true Being. You’ll find several concrete examples: for example, how love is the truth of Being, or how Being is being wholehearted, is laughter, is true dialogue, the access to heaven – here and now, or how the way is to play, and how an athlete or an artist might express the realm of Being. You can then apply these same principles to your own endeavors.

Being Is Being Wholehearted

Going ninety-eight percent of the way gives us no peace. Going ninety-eight percent of the way anywhere will never get us where we’re going, able to completely experience the fullness of our destination. In the case of being, almost Being doesn’t work. Until we hit the mark and go all the way, the bell of satisfaction doesn’t ring; it remains silent. Until we allow ourselves to be wholehearted, the light bulb of love, joy, aliveness, and fulfillment is off! Allowing should not be confused with doing, there is nothing you have to do to be wholehearted, you must only remain and exist in the present moment as it is, accepting, allowing for the full entirety of it and allowing the circumstances and the feelings and the existence of all that is in your moment - to Be. Discovering the way to remove whatever doubt or hesitancy has divided you and torn at you and kept you stuck at 98% or withholds you from giving your whole heart gives you the knowledge to break the chains, to break out of the cage of self- limitation, and come home to your true self.

As you read through the following soul shares, keep in mind that they are not poetry so much as they are thoughts set into lines so you can ponder and absorb each one on its own. You can take each thought individual as a meditation, or the whole piece, but definitely internalize each.

Being is absolute play and play is anything you do at 100 percent. Play is whatever you do wholeheartedly, all the way, when you hit the mark within yourself, when you let go and really do the thing, when you dive in, go for it, no holds barred.

Being is being wholehearted!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 71 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo To be wholehearted is a breakthrough process. To be wholehearted is to transform your past, your present and your future, to heal your old wounds, to cast out old ghosts, to remedy old doubts. To be wholehearted at anything--even for an instant-- is curative.

To be wholehearted is to play, to sing, to dance, to giggle with joy and delight, to embrace, to celebrate.

The Way is to Play

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” -Plato

To do whatever you’re doing, when playing wholeheartedly is to create! As you now know, life is a pleasure/pain guidance system designed as a self- correcting method of moving us toward our target, which is our dreams and our potential, and ultimately on toward the Light and our Sacred Self. Most people rarely notice that daily life works to prevent them from accessing the more delightful, higher states of being and play that have always existed within themselves. The demands and activities of a typical day often take us away from those experiences that make our heart sing. After years of doing what has to be done, of giving our lives to grinding away at mundane tasks, we may find it challenging to give ourselves the gift of play. For most people, there’s little play in a typical day. However, play is truly our soul’s natural state of being. Although we may be a little rusty at first, our Being remembers and knows how to play. When we were children, play was our natural expression as we explored the world. For the most part, doing what made our hearts sing was all we wanted to do. Our bliss and enjoyment were our guides to self-fulfillment, which was often the priority of the day. How far we have come from the place where we listened to and trusted our inner yearnings and desires, the desires for freedom and fun and joy and love, and would tirelessly pursue them as if it was our life’s work. It was the work of our young lives. It is still the work of our lives, no matter how old we are.

Here is another soul share designed to help you to think clearly about the concepts I’m presenting.

The Vehicle to ‘Heaven’ is the State We Call "Play."

This is not what most people think of as play.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 72 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Truly playing is difficult for most humans over three years old. For most adults, the first challenge is to set up certain conditions that are necessary to reach the higher states of Being.

For example, the first requirement is to find someone who can be "present," who can look into your eyes while you look into theirs without trying - simply "being here!" Being here, which escapes most people, is the true vehicle to Heaven; here and now.

When you play, you’re safe -- free of negative thoughts, feelings or defensiveness. You've chosen to spend time with those who love, care for, appreciate, and embrace you.

You let the two-year-old in your heart look to see "Right now, what really makes my heart sing? What is my passion in this moment? What do I really, really want to do? What do I want to engage in, say, share, or do? What is the most exciting thing I can think of?" When you know what you most want to say or do, you focus on that. You dive into that!

You go where your heart leads you, like a bee going from one flower to another. You go from one interest or passion to the next passion--to the next. You travel the path of whatever makes your heart sing.

You're on vacation!

Any personal healing arts that help people access or enter their Being-- their heart and soul--for more than a few minutes leads people to rise to higher states of consciousness.

The self automatically begins to rise. Stay in your Being (heart and soul) and you will continue to rise. Continue to stay in your Being and you will eventually rise to the highest states available to human beings! Whenever you are doing what you totally want to do, you are playing. Whenever you are wholehearted, you are playing. Whenever we do anything from the state of Being your true self, it’s play. Whenever you are your true self, you are playing.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 73 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Play is the essence of Being. To play is to be.

Play is anything you do at 100 percent!

Please take a moment to be with this material and contemplate its meaning before proceeding!

Being is Laughter!

Wouldn't you add more laughter into your daily life if you could? How many of your most cherished moments involved laughter? How many times have you gathered with friends, sharing stories involving laughter as you played, saying, "Do you remember the time when…?” Laughter doesn’t look cool, calm, or collected. On the contrary, when people lose themselves in laughter, they look like complete fools. This is quite often when they are most beautiful, most attractive, and most appealing.

Being is the ecstasy of laughter when we let ourselves laugh so hard it hurts.

For a brief moment in time we totally let go. We fall back; we surrender to bliss. We rarely realize that this bliss is available to us all the time. It surrounds us at all moments--if only we knew how to find it!

"When love and spirit are brought together, their power can accomplish anything. Then love, power and spirit are one." Deepak Chopra, The Path to Love

Years ago, there was a show on television called Wide World of Sports. It was a very popular show for many years, and the reason was that for a few minutes, we could witness human beings going into life at the level of one hundred percent. In a great variety of athletic activities, athletes who loved their particular sport wholeheartedly gave their all to the game, and their performance was at its peak. Unfortunately, it is a sad fact of life we’ve been trained to NOT participate in life at one hundred percent. It isn’t something we’re accustomed to seeing in daily life. Here’s a piece for the sports aficionados among you that may help to explain why you enjoy watching or participating in your favorite sport:

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 74 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Being Is the Athlete

Being is the magic athletes feel when they let go of thinking and become the magical moment of absolute wholehearted intention; they express the essence and beauty of their sport or game.

People love to watch sports because it’s the place we can most obviously witness a person being at 100%. Think of the best moments you've witness in any sport. Even now you can feel the joy that memory brings to you. It captures your soul, and speaks to you of possibilities. We are certainly willing to pay a lot to witness someone surrender to the moment, and demonstrate the beauty, the magic, the divine expression.

We love to see it in slow motion!

Athletics is not the only field of endeavor that allows its practitioners to exist in their Being. Creative expressions of self serve the same function.

In a movie made for IMAX theaters called "Michael Jordan to the Max," the basketball star explains that when he gets into a certain place--"the Zone"--he feels he is literally unstoppable. The movie points out "for Michael, the way to develop the mind had always been through the heart.” As Jordan says, all the proper skills and mastery will come once someone loves the game. Everything in life will work for us if we start with this philosophy.

"When parents ask me, ‘What advice would you give my kids?’ I tell them that my advice would be to let them just enjoy the game! I think what they have to learn more about at the young ages is their love of the game. Once they develop that, then the mental part is easy." Michael Jordan

Being Is the Artist

Michelangelo once said that he found the object in the stone, and kept stripping away that which was inessential, until the statue emerged.

Being is when artists

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 75 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo allow their creations to create themselves through their particular abilities, and in that magical surrender become the self that is beyond their personal identity, expanding into the self that is their larger self, their whole self; their total self, their true Being, where their soul melts into Spirit.

Being is the Artist in each of us.

Being Is True Dialogue

Human beings have a great need for meaningful communication. As strange as it sounds, most people in our culture could use a class in how to talk to each other. "Talking 101” would be extremely beneficial for most people. Most people are only comfortable talking about innocuous subjects like the weather. They stick to safe and superficial topics. They shy away from deep or emotionally meaningful subjects. Look around the next time you’re in a restaurant. You’ll probably see many people who are hardly speaking to each other. The couples whose eyes are all lit up and who are leaning close and speaking excitedly to each other are exceptions. Most couples look as though their relationship was over years ago, and now they’re simply putting in their time--doing their duty--going through the motions. We’ve come to accept this as normal--but it shouldn’t be. Once in a while, then, we need to assist people, ourselves included, in breaking out of the box, going beyond the mundane, and engaging in truly extraordinary ways. These rare moments can profoundly affect a person's entire life. This next soul share I offer you is like a Zen koan--a riddle that Zen masters give their students to think about but that can’t be solved intellectually. You can only solve the riddle by experiencing it, by "getting it"--not by logical thinking. The most quoted Zen koan is, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" See, you can’t figure it out; you can only get it. If you can’t get this next koan right away, don’t feel badly about it, just sit with it and let it work you. If you don’t get it now, you may later. Go through it slowly; digest the concepts one at a time. I also want you to know that if you do happen to get this particular Zen koan, you’ll be about ten years ahead of most psychology in the country.

"Being" occurs when we spend time with a close friend and the conversation goes from just talking or mouthing clichés, and becomes true dialogue. When people speak from their truth about what is real

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 76 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Hours can go by and seem like a minute when we enter true dialogue. The conversation is unrushed, it has its own speed, its own natural pauses, and we have no idea what we’ll talk about next. The next topic for conversation simply presents itself. We may transition from total profundity to inane laughter to tears in a heartbeat.

Being is True Dialogue

Like all activities done in our true being, the conversation is enlivening, enriching, and strengthening.

When we leave we are aware of the fact that we are more now than when we started.

I suggest that you read and digest the next soul share one concept at a time, since this material can be challenging.

The lie we add to any self-improvement technology is that if we work hard, if we struggle and try and strain enough, that we will accomplish being okay or cured or fixed.

You cannot get there because you are there! Being is not trying to be… anything. You cannot be cured or fixed, Simply because there's nothing wrong with you.

You cannot accomplish being okay Because you already are okay. You cannot get there because you are there. Whether you know it or not, enjoy it or not, you are already there.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 77 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The kingdom of heaven is within you. It’s possible to not be aware of this And by not experiencing this simple truth To miss out on being able to enjoy heaven.

Please take a moment to be with this material and contemplate it’s meaning before proceeding!

"Except ye become as little children, ye may not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

Doing-ness or Being

Being is bliss, ecstasy; it’s everything, all there truly is. The high of "being" occurs out of the activity of "being" --- An activity that requires no behavior.

Being is not doing. Yet, all “doing-ness” can come out of being. Whenever any “doing-ness” unfolds out of being, it is play.

You can teach yourself to have all your doing-ness, every activity come from playing.

In order to play, you must stop doing anything you don't consider play and just start playing. Do whatever you consider to be play. In order to play, you must play.

Being is No One Thing – It Allows All Things Being is nothing. No thing. It’s not a thing; it’s more than a process, it is a context, the space or room, the permission to be. It can be likened to a deep wholehearted sigh of relief as I finally realize that it’s really okay to be all that I am.

It’s really okay to feel all that I feel, to think all I think,

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 78 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Even the negative thoughts and feelings, to let all that is me have the room to be there, and be okay.

It’s no thing, nothing, with nothing added or subtracted. It’s no one thing, no thought, no feeling, no any thing. It witnesses and accepts and includes all thoughts and feelings, and gets stuck in none. Through skillfully allowing them to be, "being" allows for all self-hatred, self- invalidation, self-disgust, self-denial, self-judgment, self-doubt, and boils them down, re-creates them or transforms them to their natural bottom line, to their true message or intent, their true nature, which is love,

absolute, all-encompassing, all embracing love.

By being true to self, we are being our self. True self is the door to infinite self. Being oneself is the channel to infinite, absolute self, to the source of all being.

Being true to oneself, honoring one's truth accesses the channel; the receiver accesses the infinite unlimited magical power of the Universe.

Honoring one's truth is the key to enlightenment, the door to Heaven, the practice of loving, giving and creating --- the only game in town. Learning how to be, to access being, to be able to constantly access the state which is one's being, is like learning how to ride a bicycle.

At first the balance seems so difficult to find. Too far to the right or left, going too slow or too fast, we will miss the mark. We fall, we crash and burn! And then, with a bit of practice we begin to find it! We begin to find that certain place within.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 79 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo We find the place of balance, where it just feels right! It strikes a chord, and we begin to know with certainty when we are there. We experience the promise of hope and excitement! The joy of possibility!

Once found, once we momentarily find this seemingly elusive balance, the balance seems so stable, so secure, so solid, so recognizable and easy to find again!

With every early success we grow to whole new levels. We get better and better at finding the balance. Pretty soon we jump on the bicycle knowing that we will find that balance.

In mastery, we take the delicateness of balance for granted. We celebrate and look daringly for new adventures, for new ways to express this newfound magic.

Please take a moment to be with this material and contemplate it’s meaning before proceeding!

Entering the Zone at Will

The concepts I talk about in this chapter may sound simple. But, of course, it isn’t easy for most people to grasp what it means to simply be, especially at the beginning of their personal journeys. It's amazing how much our consciousness is influenced by desires for approval, worries about not being good enough, or the distractions of the many details of our daily lives. Entering the zone at will is a very advanced level skill. There are advanced level skills that can support the learning of how to do this. One type of exercise we do in my seminars to facilitate learning this principle is to have two people sit together, look into each other’s eyes, and simply be present with each other. We call this a “Be-with”. To a participant who is fully accustomed to “doingness”, this can be a very awkward process at first. To learn to “be” with a person you are not comfortable with is a difficult thing. There is an impulse to talk or fidget, to think about the next step, or to break eye contact in a moment of self-consciousness. Once people begin to settle into their Being and share what makes their hearts sing, they often start to go into "the Zone," a familiar place to their souls. Here are a few direct quotes from people who had just visited the Zone for the first time:

"As I center with my partner, I see energy in different colors. The way my energy and soul connect with someone else's energy is something I couldn’t predict until it happened. It’s an adventure we travel together. We interact, play, and sometimes we fly."

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 80 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo "As I look into her eyes, I see color, and sometimes her face shifts and almost seems to change shape. I float, and see her soul talk to me. I feel love and see peace. I see her soul. I cease trying and the flow takes over.”

"When I go into the Zone, I feel total and complete love for my partner. I can sense her struggles, her inner beauty, and also her vulnerable, child-like self who wanted to come out and play. My partner says she feels that we’re creating a vehicle through our soul connection that can take us anywhere, once we learn how to maneuver it. I'm excited to explore this more to see where this vehicle will take me."

Although entering the zone at will takes advanced level practice of advanced level skills, just know that it is available and you can learn how to enter the zone at will.

Where is heaven? Here! Now! How do we arrive in heaven? We arrive in heaven through accessing our hearts and souls, our Being. Where do we look when we want to live in heaven?

BEING

HERE

"--How fortunate are you and I, whose home Is timelessness; we who wandered down From fragrant mountains of eternal now" Eye. cummings

The Vehicle to Heaven is Being Here, Now

The Vehicle to Heaven is Being Here - Now!

Once you find you’re able to be here, Without pushing or struggling, You find that something truly magical begins to happen. You find that being here is a vehicle. It begins to take you on a magic carpet ride! You begin to travel to all these magical places within yourself. You find that being here is the vehicle That leads to an endless array of magical views!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 81 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo You’re truly amazed that the ride to Heaven Actually begins with Being here!

Absolute Zero / Center of the Soul

Absolute Zero point is a very clear distinction. Time and time again, I experience it as the place where a whole new ride begins. It's very much like waiting in line for the roller coaster, and then the moment comes where you get on the ride, and strap your seatbelt on. There's a moment of taking your breath with excited anticipation and the awareness that you are about to go someplace magical! Before zero point, I am getting centered, slowing down enough to land in the seat of my soul, being fully here, present. Once I feel myself slow down to zero point, something noticeable, something new happens. There is an inexplicable experience that I've just gotten on the ride! I feel myself step into a whole new level of permission to play, to dive in. I feel a whole new level of strength and power. And then I dive in…

Absolute Zero is the point of most direct contact with spirit.

Absolute Zero is the point of most direct contact with spirit. Absolute Zero is the point of most direct contact with spirit. Absolute Zero is the point of most direct contact with spirit

In absolute zero we are in "The Lap of God." We are in the place of total receptivity. We are in the place of total receiving. We are in total humility - which is the same as total power! In this place all things come to you. It is experienced as being showered in blessings. I often experience it as light coming to me directly to my spinal column. Being flooded by spirit with the source of all goodness.

In this place one realizes that there is no effort, no struggle, and no burden. All things come. All thoughts, All feelings, All dreams and visions, All purposes and missions,

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 82 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo All strategies, All guidance, All decisions!

Just sit back and receive the good news and go for the ride!

It's constant Christmas!

The "sweet nectar," is a name I give to the actual physical energy that surges through my body as I enter this zone. It is the place the greatest artists, musicians, architects, athletes have accessed in their greatest moments of creation. There are innumerable examples. Here are a few. When Handel was finished with his great music, “The Messiah” he came out after eleven days and told his maid, “I have seen the face of God.” In the movie “The Legend of Bagger Vance” Bagger Vance attempts to teach the hero Jonah about how to access “The Field.” This is another reference to being in the “zone.” As we said early, Michael Jordan says, “When I get into the zone, you can’t stop me…” The only way to gain access to Absolute Zero or the center of your soul is to get masterful at Centering.

Please take a moment to be with this material and contemplate its meaning before proceeding!

The whole of history has been leading us back to the Garden of Eden. All of our efforts have been to return to the place where we can enter and live in our hearts and souls. In the land of Being, we live more and more of our daily lives in the place of joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction. We do what works. We create the results we want. Most people live most of their lives (eighty to ninety-five percent of every day) not in their Being, but in the Theater of Fear, the arena of continually identifying- focusing on and thereby creating what they Do Not want. So when you say to someone as an expression of encouragement, "Just be yourself!" it is not very helpful, because most of us who live in the Theater of Fear don't remember what it’s like to be our true self. Exploring the two theaters that I will describe in the following chapter will remind you of the times when you’ve been in your Being. With this reference point in your consciousness, you’ll be prepared to start learning and practicing the Seven Master Keys.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 83 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 6 Points of Power: Nature of True Being – the “Theater of Love”

You cannot get there because you are there! Being is not trying to be… anything. You cannot be cured or fixed, simply because there's nothing wrong with you.

Being is not doing. Yet, all doing-ness can come out of being. Whenever any doing-ness unfolds out of being, it is play.

Being is No One Thing – It allows all things. Being is nothing. No “thing.” It’s not a thing; it’s more than a process, it is a context, the space or room, the permission to be. It can be likened to a deep wholehearted sigh of relief as I finally realize that it’s really okay to be all that I am.

The Vehicle to Heaven is Being Here - Now!

Absolute Zero is the point of most direct contact with Spirit.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 84 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 7: The Two Theaters of Consciousness

Most people unwittingly live their lives in the Theater of Fear focused intently on what they Don’t Want rather than focused in the Theater of Love, which is what they Do Want. Most people want to be happy and successful. We create our lives through our yearning to be fulfilled, to make a contribution, and to be the gift that we came to be. The whole of history and evolution has been leading us back to a heaven on earth. All of our efforts have been to get to the place where we can enter and live in our heart and soul. In the land of "Being," we live more and more of our daily life in the place of joy, fulfillment and satisfaction. We do what works, and we create the results we want. Most people live their daily lives, not in their Being, but in the Theater of Fear. By exploring the two theaters in this chapter, you will be reminded of the times when you have been in your Being. With this reference point in your consciousness you will be prepared to begin to learn and practice The Seven Master Keys. This power, the key to your freedom, is not dependent upon circumstances, situations, or other people. This power is available under all conditions and under all circumstances. It is the power found in the realm of Being. When you are in your heart and soul, you are in your Being. Why? Because until now, we haven’t been aware of the reality of these two theaters and their effect on our lives.

The Two Theaters

Your consciousness is divided into two entirely complete theaters: The Theater of Fear, and the Theater of Love.

I call them theaters because they come complete with pictures, dialogue, and experiences. Each theater’s job is to show you two completely different movies, as if this movie is actual reality. One, the Theater of Fear’s job is to show you pictures of anything that you DON’T WANT (Anything threatening or uncomfortable). The Theater of Love’s job is to show you pictures of anything that you DO WANT. (Dreams, visions, possibilities, and what could be!) I call these two theaters “To Play . . . or Not to Play . . .” because that truly is the question.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 85 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo In every right now you are living in one of these theaters:

DO WANT (Love): To Play To feel Good To honor one’s truth, being true to self Security Responsiveness/Proactive Self / Heart

DON'T WANT (Fear): or Not to Play To feel Bad Self-betrayal, “Selling out” i.e. … putting up with, giving in, going along with etc. Defensiveness Reaction The Reactive Mind

Within the first year I was in Cedu Foundation, it became obvious that every problem or upset starts at the instant of self-betrayal. But it took me 18 years of private practice before a very simple yet profound realization hit me.

Every time people have any form of problem, upset, conflict, big or small, They are moving toward the picture of what they DON’T WANT Instead of moving toward a picture of what they DO WANT.

Rather than ask for what they really want, they are afraid. They are afraid to be true to self, afraid to ask at one hundred percent, to go the distance, to hit the mark. Rather than honor what is true for them they are focused on the fear, on the DON’T WANT picture. They are busy focusing on what would happen if they risk asking for what they want and by resisting this “What if . . . “picture, they are unwittingly moving toward the DON’T WANT picture. For example, a client of mine is a very talented Coach whose intuition and skills are exceptional. She is avoiding and resisting doing what it takes to market her private practice. When we examine the doubts and fears that are stopping her, it is obvious that she is intently looking at the Fear based Theater. She is intently focused on her doubts of “…maybe I don’t have what it takes…” and inadvertently acting these out.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 86 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Any good therapy would have her identify what she does want, and brainstorm strategies to assist her in moving towards getting her gifts out to the world.

Remember, resisting what you DON’T WANT is moving 180 degrees in The opposite direction from moving toward what you DO WANT.

They are two different directions. Anytime you have a problem, an upset, a conflict, barrier or dysfunctional behavior, one thing is true: you are NOT asking for what you want, at one hundred percent (wholeheartedly). If you are asking at one hundred percent, the upset literally disappears, you feel finished and complete, whether you GET what you want or not! Most people believe the myth that happiness comes from getting what you want. It doesn’t! It comes from ASKING for what is true at 100%.

The Theater of Fear

The Theater of Fear has only one job, to show you pictures of anything negative. It shows you a movie that reads the title on the marquee: “The worst thing that could possibly be happening... IS happening right now! ...Now playing…”

It records all of the moments in your life where anything happened that was threatening or uncomfortable, and keeps all these recordings in a big red box called “Danger.” It is constantly scanning moment to moment to see if anything out there, in your daily life experiences, looks like any of the recordings in that “Danger Box.” For example when you’re still in diapers your mom may say, “Don’t run out in the street!” But when your ball goes out in the street you forget all about mom, and when you get to the curb, a big yellow bus screeches on its brakes. You get terrified at the near miss. Your breathing and heart rate races, your “Fight or Flight” mind records everything in that moment, your thoughts, feelings, body posture, decisions, judgments, the curb, the yellow bus, the sky, and the voice over may say, “Don’t ever run out in the street again.” Your “Fight or Flight” mind puts this recording in a big Red Box called “Danger” and stores it. For the next three weeks if you see a curb, the voice says loud enough to hear it consciously, “Don’t run out in the street again.” After 3 weeks it goes subconscious. You may notice that as adults you navigate curbs pretty well, but don’t hear that voice again!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 87 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo It could happen when you’re learning how to drive, and when you step on the gas, it revs us way up, and so the voice-over may say, “Not too much Gas!!!!…” And for three weeks or so, when you turn the key, you may actually hear that voice again and again, “Not too much gas…” Again, as with all Danger Box recordings, in a couple weeks that voice goes subconscious! But it is still very much there. In the Theater of Fear, something like “I have to Speak in Public” actually equals DEATH! When someone starring in the theater of your life does something that pushes an emotional button, it will trigger off one of these recordings of being wounded, so the simplest thing can set off a huge emotional reaction. A client of mine is an assistant manager at a beautiful hotel. He was feeling burned out because he needed to move on, but the security of the job had stopped him from expanding his horizons. His boss announced that he needed to move up the deadline on hosting a convention for television producers, which was a project that would force him and his team to work overtime. He acted polite, but internally, his Danger Box replayed the “Death by Un-appreciation” movie. It played out as “Unbelievable…no one appreciates me… they want this quicker…I’ll show them …I’ll just make sure the ballroom is overbooked, (since they can’t track it to me) and they can deal with the headaches.” His reaction was sabotage, which is quiet common in business, and would eventually catch up to him. Picture a wife saying, “Honey, would you please take out the garage?” and it triggers an emotional reaction in her husband and he says, “Get off my back you’re just like my mother…” Of course, he is right. At that moment in his fear-based mind, she IS his mother in an earlier recording!

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened… “ Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author (1835 - 1910)

Each of us has millions of triggers that cause us to emotionally react, and they are all caused by reactions we had at one point to certain stimulations that were just simply painful, such as being insulted, teased, rejected, abandoned etc. We were scared, we were wounded, we were embarrassed or shamed. If these moments were more or less devastating, then they were more or less anchored deep into our total system. So the larger the wounding, the more constant the trigger occurs and the more magnified the trigger and the emotional negative reaction. The Theater of Fear would consume our life if we let it. We would literally live in fear. Some of us do. But we don’t have to. My guess is that most people live in the fear theater an average of 80 – 98% of daily life. Any moment that you are negatively emotionally triggered, feel insulted or feel upset – you are in the emotional reaction of fear. The amazing part is that at that moment you are living in the lie, the hallucination that there is something wrong with you. That you aren’t “good enough” or “unlovable” or such – and any of these fears are complete lies. You are magnificent perfection!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 88 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The Theater of Love

The Theater of Love has one job also, to show you pictures of everything you DO WANT. The Theater of Love shows you your dreams, visions, possibilities, passions, interests. In contrast to the Theater of Fear, the title on this marquee reads: “The Best Thing Which I Have the Personal Power to Imagine IS Happening Right Now . . . Now playing…..”

Both theaters tell you that the movie they are playing is happening right now. But whenever you visit this Theater of Play, you feel complete, resolved, satisfied and fulfilled. In this state of being, there is no struggle, effort or burden. You don't have to make anything up, all the interests, the passions and the love are already there. The following are examples of being in the Theater of Love. That moment when a beginner skier finally knows enough to just let go, and suddenly they disappear into the act. The person becomes the mountain, and they are effortlessly floating down the hill, with abandon and adrenaline and breathless joy. All of you who ski know what I'm talking about. At the bottom of the hill after such an experience you are in such bliss, that you sometimes can’t help but yell out, a big “Yahoo!” The entire mountain can often share in your joy. Another is one we have all witnessed and felt ourselves. It is that moment when a singer or musician just lets go. They suddenly realize that they are not singing the song, but the song is singing them. The song is telling them when to go faster, when to slow down, when to get quieter, louder. Or perhaps it is that moment when we just let go of ourselves, and laugh with abandon, falling off the chair with laughter. Something strikes us, we aren’t quite sure what it is or where it came from, but we can’t stop laughing or giggling until our sides hurt, and we feel like we are going to split ourselves open from how delightful the feeling is. It could be the moment during a sexual encounter when you feel so amazing and connected and high that you know you must look like a complete fool! Your face is scrunched, you breath is abnormal, and your body is contorted and lost to the feeling, pursuing its own agenda and rhythm. (This is definitely one arena where if you look “cool, calm and dignified” you’re probably not having a good time!) In the Theater of Love, once again, Play is anything we do at one hundred percent. The Theater of Love plays you back the feelings of those times in your life when you truly lived and experienced what it means to be wholehearted.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 89 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo For the next chart below – divided into 2 columns (Theater of Fear and Theater of Love) prioritize - you can circle the three lines or qualities which most fit you where you are living in these two theaters that you don’t want and that you do want.

The Two 'Theaters' of Consciousness Both the Theater of Fear and the Theater of Love operate simultaneously. However, your consciousness will only focus on one at a time. So, in every right now, you are living in one of these theaters of your mind's eye:

The Marquis Title for each Movie either reads:

"The Worst Possible Thing That Could Be Happening Right Now… IS Happening Right Now!"

OR

“The Best Possible Thing That I Have the Power to Imagine… IS Happening Right Now!”

The “Come From” for each, is as follows:

DON'T WANT Vs. DO WANT Fear Oriented vs. Love Oriented Speaks in terms of Don't Wants vs. in terms of Do Wants "Outer-Motivated" vs. "Inner Motivated" Not to Play vs. To Play Off vs. On Navigates by the Past vs. Navigates by the Now Limitations vs. Possibilities Survival vs. Aliveness The “Fight or Flight” Mind vs. Self / Heart / Essence Stored past-recordings vs. Higher or Divine Self Alienating/Non-working vs. Attractive / Appealing Doubt vs. Certainty Image/Shield vs. Intuition/Intelligence Personality/Defense/Identity vs. Being/Heart/Source Humdrum/Drudgery vs. Magical/Fun/Adventure Unsatisfied/Incomplete vs. Satisfied/Complete Unresolved vs. Resolved "Going Through the Motions" vs. Showing Up

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 90 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Effort, Struggle, Burden, Trying vs. Effortless/Playful Half-hearted vs. 100% - Wholehearted/ Hit the mark Resist or Succumb vs. Choose Should/Ought to/Have to vs. Want to/Get to Fear of Failure vs. Excited to Shine Huge Activity/Little Results vs. Little Activity/Huge Results Living Within my Comfort Zone vs. The Aliveness of Intelligent Risks Defensiveness vs. Secure Reactive vs. Responding Self-betrayal, “Selling out” vs. To Honor One’s Truth, Putting up with/Giving In vs. Being True to Self

An Eye Opener: Using the “Hand Puppets”

Now that you’re aware of these two theaters, you can start to notice when are you in the positive theater, and when are you reacting in fear. A good friend who’s a therapist gave her client a brilliant suggestion to begin to support her in overcoming her life-long pattern of being critical, which was one of the expressions that came out of her Theater of Fear. Her constant criticism was destroying her family and putting her on the path toward divorce. My friend advised thusly. “So that you can notice every time you’re saying something critical, for the next week, use your left hand like a puppet down by your side, as if your hand is being critical. Use your right hand every time you notice you are being supportive or encouraging.” Her client came back the following week in tears saying, “I’m always critical…”

Criticism is the Killer

It is true that in life and especially love, criticism is the killer. Scientific studies have now revealed that to be successful in relationships you need a ration of 5 positives to one negative. In business relationships and marriage you need 7 positives to 1 negative! Imagine how ass backwards we all have it! We are so unaware of the criticism that is destroying our most precious relationships! It is so easy to be judgmental, critical, and lash out at those that mean to the most to us. I cannot make this point clearly enough! Criticism is the KILLER of the joy, aliveness, love, and tenderness that allows your relationships to reach the magical potential inherent in all relationships! Reverse this one behavior and your life will transform dramatically! This exercise was an eye opener and her pattern could now be reversed to build an unprecedented family culture of love and support, simply because she used her hands to anchor in becoming aware of something she had been completely unaware of!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 91 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo I’m going to suggest that you use the same technique. For one week, every time you notice yourself in the negative thoughts and feeling of the Theater of Fear, use your left hand like a puppet to express the negative thoughts, and use the right hand to express the positive thoughts, and you will have an extremely eye opening experience of how often you live in a reality you have no interest in living in. Most people want to be successful and fulfilled. We create our lives through our yearning to show up, to shine, to make a contribution, and to be the gift that we came to be. The Chinese have a saying that friends criticize and enemies attack. Their definition of criticism is friendly. It describes the intention to empower. Friendly criticism is certainly different that the negative tear down kind of criticism that we are discussing here. The only real difference is whether you intend to tear down or build up! All of humanities’ efforts have been to get to the place where we can enter and live in our heart and soul. In the land of "Being," we live more and more of our daily life in the place of joy, fulfillment and satisfaction. Only in your Being (in your heart and soul) do you do what works, and thus you create the results you want. By exploring the two theaters in this chapter, you can be conscious of the times when you actually are in your Being. With this reference point in your consciousness you will be prepared to learn and practice The Seven Master Keys.

Life: Theater for the Play We Write

As we now know there are 2 theaters – the theater of fear and love. There also exists a greater stage of our life. We are the playwrights of the script of the play called “my life.” We write all of our tragedies, our comedies, our great battles complete with villains and heroics, victories and defeats! We cast our own characters, choose our props and backdrops, and we single handedly produce the theater for the play we right. The following principles describe how this process occurs.

Principles for the Theater of Life

A principle is a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning. The following are nine principle truths which, when mastered and applied in your everyday thoughts and experience, are the cornerstones to recognizing and exercising your own power and creating the circumstances that you desire for your life. Once mastered, you will be able to live more consistently in the Theater of Love and to write, direct, and create the play of your life exactly as you want your experience to be.

Principle #1- Your current circumstances are only an exact reflection of your internal experience! The problem does not exist in the circumstances! The circumstances will always and only are a mirror for what's going on inside your guts and heart. Whether your thoughts and actions ‘come from’ or originate in strengths or doubts, "good enough" or

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 92 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo not "good enough", plenty or lack, or whatever labels you put to it, one or the other are essentially the positive or the negative, the Theater of Love or the Theater of Fear, on any given issue. The come from will affect circumstances as mirrored in your state, and to what degree.

Principle #2- The bubble called Reality is a reflector and a magnifier. This is the nature of the self and the bubble called reality. The bubble called reality, environment, (otherness, thou) is a reflector and a magnifier. To illustrate, I will use the simple example of my bedroom. I will picture it as a bubble surrounding myself in that space, and when I look at the space I will see the bubble as if it’s interior were lined with reflective mirrors. I created my bedroom environment. I put love into it, filling it with things that I love and which bring me comfort and joy. I put in my art and my décor. Now it feeds me, more than I put in to it, reflecting back to me the good thoughts and feelings, the love and peace. It feeds me, continuously.

My “come from,” in this creation, was love, the desire for comfort and wanting to create a space of peace and tranquility, which was Love based. It was not a Fear based come from, which would have been the thought “my room is not big enough, I can’t afford the furniture that I want, I don’t like this or that”. If it had been, the bubble of my bedroom would reflect back to me chaos, clutter, anxiety and discomfort. How much love can you feed to yourself in all of your reality bubbles?

Principle #3 - Since all perception can only enter through the filters of your own experience, then all you perceive will be your own creation through your own experience. This is called a projection. All perception is projection. What this boils down to is that ultimately every person, every tree, every dog, etc. is merely a reflection of some part of your self! When you see someone you look up to or admire like your heroes or heroines it is a reflection of seeing your highest or best self. When you see someone that truly disgusts you or that you can’t stand, it is a reflection of your unfinished self; a part of you that you subconsciously judge because you are trying to get yourself to do something different.

Principle #4 – You created the people in your world to reflect back to you the various aspects of yourself that are in battle or negotiations with each other. REPEAT. The people in your world simply represent the parts of you that you have not come to terms with yet.

Imagine that you are the writer, director, and star in a play. Every character in the play you created. You put them in the play because you wanted to see these different players interact and to watch their dynamics in order to see if they could come to terms with each other. And all the players are simply parts of your self!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 93 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Journal Exercise: Cast Your Play

Here is an advanced level game. If this doesn’t make sense – let it go until it starts to. Cast your play. Name your players. Look at yourself and the various parts of you. Give them names. And once you have done this, see if you can match each of your characters to people in your life, and to your unwanted and unresolved problems, issues, fears, etc.

Principle #5- When you come to terms with the parts of yourself that are in conflict, you will melt and heal these people, and attract a different kind of person to yourself.

It is a fact that, until you heal that part in yourself, this part of you keeps showing up to upset you in bigger and better ways, with even bigger and better circumstances which will push your emotional buttons. If you look back in your life, you will find this to be the case. How often do you feel as if you are fighting the same battles over and over again in different arenas? Or having the same conversations with different people, or facing the same unwanted circumstance time and time again, shouting, “Enough, Already!” at what you DO NOT want? It is time to heal and to learn to live in the Theater of Love.

Principle #6- To heal that part of yourself, you must identify and own the projection. Once you are able to identify and own your projection, you must then feed back to that part of yourself the Sweetheart Message, which is the positive intention to the negative behavior. Then you must provide that part of yourself that behavior, with an alternative strategy for getting the same 'goodies' that it is after. For example if I want to quit smoking, then resisting or judging smoking will only grow the negative behavior. (In my work we use an evolution of Gestalt Therapy, which I call Empowerment Dialogue where people put two chairs facing each other and talk to various parts of themselves.) 1. If I put two chairs together, 2. I sit in one chair and I and put “smoking” in the other chair as if “smoking” was another person, 3. Now I ask “smoking” “Why are you doing this to me?” 4. Then I switch chairs and let the “smoking” be very honest about why that part of me likes to smoke.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 94 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo 5. It may say something like, “When I get around people, I get very nervous, and when I smoke it calms me down.” So the Sweetheart Message is that I want to be comfortable around people. So if I switch chairs and say to the smoking, “I’m going to help you to find an alternative strategy to feeling comfortable around people…” Once I find strategies that smoking is convinced will work as good or better, it will drop the non-working behavior. This is perhaps easy to understand, and much more difficult to put into practice in daily life.

Principle #7- Healing and Empowering will dissipate the Unwanted, and will attract the Wanted. Only by healing and empowering this part in your self, will you dissipate the energy, (the feelings, the self-doubts, the upsets, the automatic triggers, etc.) and turn a big deal into no big deal. Once the energy you have on this part of yourself is dissolved, then you can successfully attract what you want, until then, you can ONLY attract what you are afraid of! You will attract your dreams instead of your worst nightmares.

Principle #8- In creating new behaviors, the internal Parent and the internal Child must come to terms in order for the new behavior to have any lasting effect. Empowerment Dialogue chair work is very useful to accomplish this.

Principle #9 - Conflict keeps you in the theater of fear – but once your resolve the conflict you return to the theater of love. Once you heal the parts of yourself, which are in conflict, the new people and situations you wanted to attract will show up automatically. The Universe delivers! Like a great pizza place the universe will deliver to your doorstep the good news and blessings your been seeking!

Now you examined the ideas that all human beings are inherently perfect, and that your greatest barriers perfectly reflect your true brilliance. You’ve examined the idea of how life works, that there is a path to your dream and when you honor your truth you are on path, when not, you are in pain, and the pain is simply asking for a correction. You’ve explored the ideas that when you are on track – on path with your dream, you are in a state of peak performance which we call being and we described some of the signposts for recognizing when you are in your true being. We also described the two theaters of consciousness and some of the distinctions of these two theaters. Now you are ready to explore 7 of the most powerful Master Key for living in the theater of love, play and joy instead of the theater of fear where most people spend most of their lives living in fear, scarcity and going through the motions. If you are reading this book, it is clear that you are ready for more than most people. Now you are ready to learn the 7 Master Keys to catapult your life to passion, power and profits. Now you are ready for a life of unprecedented joy and success!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 95 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Cindy- An Example

Cindy is a high-powered highly capable intelligent woman with a history of success. In all of her circumstances the reflection kept coming back to her that she was stuck. The DVD’s she was putting together for a big project were corrupted, projects were stalled, the car was breaking down, etc. She was conscious enough to know that circumstances always reflect our inner workings. So she came in for a session to discover what they were saying to her. In essence the message was “You are stuck…” and she realized that she was becoming aware of a pile of incompletion in her life. There were papers for jury duty and other important items she was procrastinating on. We divide the 2 Theaters into what we call “Old Ways” and “New Skills.” Old Ways are our self-defeating or ineffective behaviors – the clever ways we get in our own way. New skills are the behaviors, which would counter these non-working patterns of behavior and do what works! Her Old Ways were “I defer decisions” and “I defer taking action.” Her New Skills were”… to make decisions NOW… and taking action NOW…” So we set up a system of support to have a phone buddy she could report to daily for a month, keep a success journal, and brag about her successes, (which stimulates her body when she brags – and this works because the body is a stimulation machine and will always move in the direction of the most stimulation) and other ways to take accountability and a structure to support her forward movement.

Summary:

Most people would love to be happy and successful, to make a contribution, and to be the gift that they came to be. Unwittingly they live their lives in the Theater of Fear focused intently on what they Don’t Want rather than focused in the Theater of Love, which is what they Do Want. Most people live their lives, not in their Being, their true self – the source of fulfillment, but in the Theater of Fear. I believe the average person probably lives between 80 – 98 % of every day in the theater of fear, upset that life does not fit their pictures. By living so much of daily life in fear they miss the source of true power. This power, the key to your freedom, is not dependent upon circumstances, situations, or other people. This power is available under all conditions and under all circumstances. It is the power found in the realm of Being- your authentic self, your heart and soul.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 96 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 7 Points of Power: The Two Theaters of Consciousness

Your consciousness is divided into two entirely complete theaters. One, the Theater of Fear’s job is to show you pictures of anything you DON’T WANT (Anything threatening or uncomfortable). The Theater of Love’s job is to show you pictures of anything you DO WANT. (Dreams, visions, possibilities, and what could be!)

Every time people have any form of problem, upset, conflict, big or small, they are moving toward the picture of what they DON’T WANT, instead of moving toward a picture of what they DO WANT.

Remember, resisting what you DON’T WANT is moving 180 degrees in the opposite direction from moving toward what you DO WANT.

The Theater of Fear has only one job, to show you pictures of anything negative. The title on the marquee reads: “The worst thing that could possibly be happening. . . IS happening right now!" . . . Now playing…”

The Theater of Play has one job also, to show you pictures of everything you DO WANT; dreams, visions, possibilities, passions, interests. The title on this marquee reads: “The best thing which I have the personal power to imagine IS happening right now . . . Now playing.”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 97 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Intro to The Seven Master Keys

In our evolution, we have lost our connection to the power that is inherent within us. Our sense of personal power and inner wisdom and guidance has taken a backseat to logic, legislation and doctrine. The Seven Master Keys that I will present to you here are the tools to reconnect to the source of your own sacred inner power. Over the timeline of our human history we have grown in number, information and knowledge not necessarily inherent of wisdom and we spread and separated. We separated from each other and the unifying ways of our inner wisdom and power. We grew in Ego and desire for differentiation. The deafening noise of our progress obscured the whispers of the inner truths and the strength and the guidance within. What we recognized as the truly sacred within ourselves dissolved into myth and fairytale, and reason and “reality” prevailed. Logic moved forward propelling technology, invention, and control of the external reality which eventually left the truly sacred far behind on the landscape of time. When we rediscover and piece back together these truths of personal power, we find that when searched for and heeded, they ARE the keys to transcendence of living in the Dream. These Seven Master Keys will bring the lasting peace that we all crave and yet cannot seem to attain for more than a moment or the longevity of a cocktail, a punch-line, a sunset, or other pleasant but transitory sensory experiences.

The Seven Master Keys

What if you could use the most potent tools tested throughout time in order to catapult your life, your success and your fulfillment beyond your wildest dreams? In my several decades as a therapist, healer, facilitator and success coach, and through my in-depth exploration of several dozens of today's cutting edge growth technologies and processes, I have rediscovered the power and potency of the timeless Master Keys used by shamans and healers throughout the ages which are being used by many of today's icons of personal growth and spiritual facilitation. In the following chapters I have distilled the essence of the most empowering timeless strategies into what we call the Seven Master Keys for Life Mastery. I discovered, that in my life the true game was to find strategies and processes that would allow us to stay in the Theater of Love, Play and Dream as often as possible. Once we knew how to leave our upsets and problems behind and access the "Happy" theater, we could stay there as long as possible and explore the limitless possibilities that can only occur once we can stay for hours at a time in the magical realm of true self, of heart and soul. In order to access true miracles we need to stay present, conscious and in the "sacred now" much longer than we usually do in daily life. Many of the Master Keys can be found with roots in the earliest civilizations, from earliest Samaria and Babylon, through the Native American cultures, India, Asia, Greece, and the Celtic druids. These tools are based on principles that can be found

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 98 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo woven through the tapestries of many ancient religions like Zen, Confucianism, Toltec shamanism of the American continent and others. Although the Seven Master Keys are quite practical in their application, they are rooted in the ancient cultures before western man began to separate the spiritual and sacred from the logical. Ancient cultures lived in both the sacred and the practical worlds simultaneously and held both as vital parts of daily life while honoring inner truth and guidance as the gateways to power and peace. The sacred and even mystical aspects of life were inextricable to the quality of their life. In my quest to discover these Master Keys, my favorite books quickly became the Carlos Castaneda series. Carlos Castaneda was the “student” and his mentor Don Juan was a Yaqui Indian Shaman who introduces Carlos into other dimensions of wisdom and reality. In the early 70’s he was on the cover of Time magazine because the truths he was unveiling were so jaw-dropping and unprecedented that most of the country was in awe. As I have witnessed endless eye opening revelations about the power of ancestral healing and the power found in bloodlines, I have come to believe that people choose their bloodlines before they come to the physical realm. As described earlier, I also remembered choosing my major battles in life and my bloodline. Some of my ancestors were Yaqui Indians near the gold mines of central Mexico. In the book “Rain of Gold” the author describes the exodus of my ancestors to California. As a child, my father took us to visit an aunt who lived by a border town. They showed us photos of my ancestors when soldiers hanged them during a war and I remember seeing in these dead relatives men who were the spitting image of my two brothers. For the first time I felt a deep connection to my ancestors going back in time and the challenges and the tragedies that they endured so I could be here and be in my life. These Master Keys have been hiding over centuries in plain sight! They have been re-awakened by many of psychology’s great giants including the icons of our own time. For my own purposes and yours I have selected these seven Master Keys because over the years, time and time again, they naturally revealed themselves as the most simple and yet powerful methods of life mastery. Each of the Seven Master Keys will take you out of the “Fight or Flight” theater where all of your upsets and problems live, and put you into the Theater of Love and Dreams. Using any one of them will take you out of fear and upset and help you to create satisfaction and fulfillment by putting you on track and back on the path to your dreams. Each of the Master Keys is one of the most powerful tools available for making life work and being a master of life. Each one is a never-ending lesson and learning. As Werner Erhard used to say, “These are principles over which you will never get.” There is the story of the blind mice who attempt to describe what the elephant is. The one holding the tail says, “The elephant is like a rope…” The one holding the leg says, “The elephant is like a tree…” The one touching his side says, “The elephant is like a wall…” etc. They couldn’t see that they were all describing the same animal. These Master Keys are very much like this. The reality is that when you do any of these Master Keys you are actually doing all of them simultaneously! For example,

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 99 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo when I “honor my truth” I am also “living in the dream,” and whether I am aware of it or not, I am also “choosing” and “creating,” etc. So in reality, by doing any one of these powerful Master Keys, I am actually doing all of them at the same time! Anytime a human being enters into the state we call happiness or "satisfaction" (the Theater of Love, or the DO WANT theater) they are either knowingly or unknowingly using one of these Seven Master Keys. If you were to put all of my life’s work including these Master Keys into a single word it would be “Embrace.” Learn to embrace your self, embrace your challenges, embrace your dreams, embrace your path and mission, and embrace the negatives. Embrace it all. If you will practice these Seven Master Keys of Life Mastery, you will learn to consciously “play” in a realm of love, dreams and fulfillment.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 100 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Part III: Seven Master Keys:

1. Centering- (The Relaxed Readiness to Respond vs. React)

2. Honoring Your Truth (Being True to Self)

3. Asking at 100% (For What You Truly Want)

4. Admitting What’s in Your Heart (Disengaging From Reactions – “Getting Off It”)

5. Intention and the Intent to Empower (Establishing a Coaching Relationship)

6. Choosing and Creating (Resist vs. Choose - Create vs. Wait)

7. Living in The Dream (True Living is Living IN The Dream)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 101 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 8: Master Key #1 Centering: The Art of a True Response

“Hold fast to the center…” The Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu (600 B.C.)

The Ancient Samurai have been regarded through the ages as some of the most astounding warriors, able to perform almost inhuman feats. Some even say they were able to walk through walls! Throughout the ages, every form of martial arts and their cultural icons including Bruce Lee have held the principle of centering to be essential. Every warrior has known that you do not go into battle where your life may be on the line without being in a state of relaxed readiness. The masters demonstrate being in the eye of the storm while many attackers come at them full speed. This is the essence of centering. Many ancient traditions use the practice of centering as the foundation of all the other skills. Whether you call yourself a teacher, a Shaman, a Guru, a spiritual leader, a therapist, a martial arts master, or a student of these traditions, centering is the most fundamental of skills. Centering is the ability to stop internally. It is to slow down and become still inside so that you may respond to the moment instead of reacting. An emotional reaction will have you acting from fear. Whether you “wimp out” or “rip their face off” you are reacting emotionally and your effectiveness drops like a lead balloon. By contrast, when you respond, you can determine what your most effective options are. For example, if you are too emotional to be effective, and need to take a time out, you will have the clarity of mind to realize that you need to and can step away for a moment. Or, if you need to shift your communication style, and there may be many other options, these options become clear because you are not being driven by fear and the need to be “right” and any costs. Until you groom yourself to disengage from reactions, to put the clutch in, and to adopt the relaxed readiness needed to respond rather than react to life, you are constantly at the mercy of life, triggered by your own emotional buttons and going from reactive state to reactive state. Being continually reactive leaves you emotionally and physically hanging like a marionette, while other people and events dictate your upsets and wellbeing. Centering allows you the control to step out of the melee and into yourself where you can connect with your true being, which knows how to respond to every situation and trigger in a way that is true to you and your dreams.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 102 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo My Quest: The Power of Centering

When I was a young man of 18, l learned the importance of learning how to respond rather than react firsthand. In search of my own healing, I had chosen to move into a live-in therapeutic community for troubled young people in the San Bernardino Mountains, called Cedu Foundation. I counted myself among the troubled. Although I’m told my ethnic heritage is wonderfully eclectic, including Spanish, Yaqui Indian, German, Irish and others, I have been referred to dismissively as a “short Mexican.” From early traumatic experiences both with my dysfunctional family and with the prejudice of bullies in my neighborhood, I had come to act out being so “nice” and so “wimpy” that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was trying to please people by “selling out,” giving in, etc., that I now refer to myself back then as being the “King of Wimps”. After being in Cedu Foundation for about 8 months, I was feeling very frustrated. In the weekly group counseling sessions, it felt as if when I tried to be or act in a certain way, the counselors would encourage me to be a different way, and when I tried to be that way, they would encourage me to be yet another way. So it felt that no matter what I did to please them, I just couldn't find the right way to be. In my trying to please everyone, I was actually turning everyone off. Then one day, I was on the inside balcony of the main room of the lodge, and I saw my counselor, Eli, walking by. He was a good-looking, easy going young man in his late twenties who had been with Mel Wasserman, since the beginnings of Cedu. I looked up to and immensely admired him because of his natural wisdom and ability as a facilitator of the groups. It suddenly struck me that he was always happy – and I was usually miserable. So I went downstairs and asked him, "Eli, I just noticed that I'm usually miserable, and you are usually happy. Why is that?” He said, "Well, it's pretty simple. I usually do exactly what is true for me, what I truly want to do. I don't think I ever see you doing what you really want to do." My first thought was, "It can't be that simple." So I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "Well, right now, you're talking to me. Is this what you really want to do?" "I don't know," I responded. "You see... you didn't even look within yourself to discover what you truly wanted to do. So how can you be happy if you're not being true to your self?" Eli then gave me an assignment which I have been doing every day since that life-changing moment many years ago. He said, "Every day, I'd like you to ask yourself many times a day: ‘Right now, what is it that I truly want to do?’ Then do your best to do that." Somehow I heard the significance of his assignment, and I probably asked myself hundreds of times a day, “Right now, what is it that I truly want to do?” It was like a mantra in my head. This exercise had a profound effect on me. Eventually when I went to visit my brother and old friends, I noticed that regardless of what they wanted to do, I was actually able to be honest about what I wanted to do, even if it was different.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 103 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo While with my brother and his friends were at a restaurant late at night, they asked me if I wanted to go somewhere, and I replied, that I would rather do something else. They said, “O.K.” Then it hit me like an avalanche of light. "You mean, that all this time, for my whole life, all the world ever wanted from me … was for me to do what I wanted to do?" I said to myself, “I could have had a V-8!” I now know clearly, that this moment was a critical turning point in my life. So many other skills wouldn't have been possible until I learned this fundamental skill. If I hadn't learned this essential skill of being centered and looking within to discover what my truth is in any right now, my emotional and spiritual progression would be nothing by comparison. Today, if you were to walk up to me on the street at any particular moment and ask me what I was doing, I would say, "I'm looking within to see what's really true, what I truly want to do right this very moment, (where in my own consciousness I want to go, what I want to think about and feel, and I'm doing my best to honor it." Again remember that the single most fundamental skill to being happy is honoring one's truth.

The Joys of Being Centered

Centering is needed to get into the proper state; the "mood of a warrior,” the relaxed readiness needed to respond, (rather than react) with optimum clarity, stillness and vitality for peak performance. Most people do not know where to look within themselves in order to know the truth in life’s situations. Because of all the conscious repetition of looking dozens of times a day, I eventually learned that for me and for everyone, as well as being a place inside of you where the truth lies, as in “look inside yourself” that we hear so often, where to look actually encompasses the physical act of looking as well. For example, I know that if I look down and to the left, my truth will surface, and I know with certainty what my truth is. Of course this will be different for everyone. My point is that you can learn to know where your truth is. Once you know where to look for your truth, you can look there in ALL of life’s situations. The way to know WHERE the truth lies for you is to practice looking within to discover what's true for you over and over again. As you are looking within, notice where your eyes are naturally, physically looking. This will be where your truth lies. For me, because of this practice I know where my truth lies in any situation. It is invaluable to know what's true in any right now, especially when I imagine outside pressure. With this ability I am totally in charge of designing my own life! And if a quick look still leaves me uncertain, there is a process called Empowerment Dialogue that comes out of Gestalt Therapy that if you have the time to do this process, you can have clarity and certainty, and never have to make a bad decision again! We will discuss this more later. Being centered has given me the ability to “BE,” and taught me the joys and treasures of truly “BEING.” I have found my own "Fortress of Solitude" within myself, a refuge, and an inner sanctuary, which allows me to travel the inner adventures of my soul.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 104 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Finally, mastering the ability to be centered has led me to processes where I can access the highest states available. I have used the ability to use my own romantic energy in order to sail my soul to unprecedented heights. This is currently a workshop and is so life-changing that I plan on elaborating on in a future book called “Magical Realms of the Sacred Self.” Use the following summary to remind yourself what centering is and how to do it. Centering is the first level of “Being” and moving out of FEAR and REACTION.

The four steps of Centering are to: 1) Stop 2) Slow down (using your breath) 3) Look within and discover what is true 4) Do what is true.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 105 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

C E N T E R I N G

How to know what's true to self

1. Stop. Internally, within yourself, absolutely experience stopping. Disengage. Stop reacting. Get off of your reactions. Just stop!

2. Slow Down. Take several deep breaths. Take whatever time is needed to slow down within yourself until you are clear. When in doubt, slow down some more!

3. Look within: Look inside, or listen inside, or feel inside in order to discover: (continued) “Looking within” may sound like a nebulous and vague direction. The steps and dialogue below clarify a discovery process through which you will begin to communicate with yourself internally.

Ask yourself the following:

“Right now, right now...What am I noticing? What's the truth about what's going on with me, right now?" Without judgment or self-criticism, ask, “What am I feeling, thinking, wanting and noticing right now?” At this point, don't do anything with it, just notice it. Just be with it. Then, continue to:

"What is true for me? What do I really want, right now? Really. No, really! Right now. Right now . . . right now . . . what do I really want to focus on?

- What do I want to do? - What do I want from you? How do I want to be? What do I want to feel, to say, to request? - Where do I want to go?

4. Do it! (As the commercial says, "Just do it!") Do your best to do what's true. If you're not safe enough, there is always a way to make the risk safe enough to do. Seek out a coach.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 106 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Handling Obstacles:

If the answer comes up, “I don't know..." Don’t panic. Relax. Just keep looking within and know that eventually, what you want (which subconsciously you already know) will come to the surface, and you will be crystal clear. Give yourself time to go through the searching process.

If the answer comes up, “I want two separate / contrary things..." don't panic. Relax. Allow yourself the room to want two separate, different, and apparently contrary things! In wanting both things, you allow your process of knowing to occur much faster. Sometimes, the double bind disappears and what seems contrary works out so you can have both! What seemed like an either/or situation turns into an AND situation as the process resolves itself. If not, use the Empowerment Dialogue Process to resolve it. (As explained later in this chapter.)

Do what you want. Be what you want! Encourage yourself to be true to your true heart’s desire. Allow yourself to move or go in the direction of what's really true for you. Let your true interest carry you. Surrender to the deepest desire, to the magic of the child within. Stretch your ability to do what's true, regardless of what others think or expect. Go beyond the cage of self-doubt or fear and give yourself the opportunity to live your possibilities!

CENTERING IS:

• Resting in my heart • Landing in my self • Relaxing into my stillness • Allowing my soul to take me

CENTERING IS NOT:

• Hurried • Scattered • A chicken w/their head cut off • Reactive, Defensive, Scurrying

We are a society obsessed with happiness. We search for it in our daily lives, in our work, leisure and in our relationships with family, friends, and acquaintances. Yet how can you be happy if you can’t make decisions that honor your truth?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 107 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

You cannot be happy, if you can't make decisions that honor your truth.

How can you be happy without being able to be true to yourself, to not "sell out," give in, go along with, put up with, etc.?

As long as you are un-centered, you are going “too fast” internally.

Like a gerbil in a rotating wheel, you are easily pushed over, unstable, distracted, manipulated. Without being grounded in your own self, you are too easily shaken.

Every self-betrayal or ‘sell out’ makes you more un-centered and now it becomes easier to ‘sell out’ and betray your truth, and with each little ‘sell out’ you get that much more un-centered. A day of selling out and self-betrayal will wipe you out energetically.

You cannot make effective decisions If you're not disengaged from others’ expectations.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 108 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Life is a series of choices. The moment that life or someone offers us a choice is called the Moment of Choice.

The Moment of Choice is in the Now. Virtually every dysfunction or defense is fundamentally Rooted in the moment of choice and starts with un-centered decisions.

Overwhelm: The Un-centered Use of the “Moment of Choice”

Most people in this culture who are intelligent and capable are in “overwhelm!” These people consistently live a life out of balance with never enough "play time." They juggle too many balls, they work ten, twelve or fourteen hours a day, they are always too busy, always overworked, and they rarely have enough time for the things that truly matter. Consistently stressed, they don't see any way out because they "have responsibilities." The mere suggestion of a more balanced life will usually elicit the response, "… if I could find the time." The over-activity does not translate into extra happiness or fulfillment. On the contrary, we can usually measure a person’s happiness by the degree of balance in their lives. People in “overwhelm” all have one thing in common. They manage the “moment of choice” poorly. When a decision to take on more activity comes to them, they constantly "sell out," doing things they should do, instead of what they truly want to do. They succumb instead of truly choosing. They are being “good boys and girls” and life is the pits! They rarely take the time to evaluate, or they underestimate the time and resources involved in the activities they say yes to. They say yes to far too many things they would have said "no" to if they had the ability to manage the “moment of choice” effectively. Mastering the “Moment of Choice” is the umbrella- the key skill to all other skills of empowerment. Of all the skills that ignite or transform your life, this is the key strategy that makes all other skills possible. Until you can master the moment of choice and choose from a centered state, you will forever be in some version of self- betrayal: giving in, going along with, putting up with, succumbing, resisting, or “selling out.” The way I view my life now, it is clear to me that all of the growth and blessings I have created; my career success, my love life, my parenting, my self-concept have all originated in the fundamental skill of centering. Centering is something that can elicit a measurable affect not only in daily tasks and personal relationships but also the long- term big picture events.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 109 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Centering is an ability that will tremendously increase Your ability to make effective decisions. You will make decisions that make you successful and happy.

A Centering Success Story: Megan

Coaches love it when a client comes to them with so much desire and commitment that they are given permission to give the client the “fast track” to accelerate their growth. Megan, an energetic 30-something single mother, asked me from a very deep place within how she could stop doing her life from such an rattled scattered state, and ending up with so many messes. Her desire was so sincere and huge; I could give her a very advanced-level skill, which I knew would change her life. I told her that because she was temporarily out of work, and had some free time, we could accelerate her process if she followed these instructions. I told her, “Wake up every day, shower, eat breakfast, send the kids to school, and then sit in your favorite chair, and DON’T DO ANYTHING unless you absolutely KNOW that it’s true to self- that it is what you truly want to do! When in doubt, just keep looking within yourself.” I told her that if it was helpful, to set up two chairs facing each other, and talk out loud with herself about what she wants. “When one part of yourself is done making a point, then switch chairs and let the other part of yourself respond. Just keep the conversation between “you” and “you” going until you are resolved.” (This is a Gestalt Training technique – by talking out loud between “you” and “you”, and switching chairs with each response, you bring things from subconscious to conscious, revealing eye- opening insights and revelations and clarifying your truth and decisions. The evolved version is now called Empowerment Dialogue) Megan called me a couple of days later chuckling, and said, “I’m losing my mind!” We laughed, and joked, and I suggested she stick with it, that she was almost through the birth canal, and her life would never be the same. She learned in an accelerated process a life-long way to KNOW how to be centered, to KNOW where to look within for her truth, and to KNOW when what she was doing was either true to self, or “selling out” for others’ expectations. Sure enough, this advanced centering process was the major catalyst for a cascading series of life-changing decisions and actions, which led her to become one of the best facilitators and energy workers in the country. Today she can co-lead the Awakening Retreat with me and everyone is in awe of her abilities to speak and facilitate both one-on-one and with groups.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 110 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo When teaching this material in a workshop, I will do an exercise and say, "When I blow the whistle, I want you to walk very franticly around the room at the speed that you typically go when you are going too fast internally." When I blow the whistle again, I want you to CENTER. Stop, Slow down, Breathe, and Look." Some people go a little faster than walking and some are running around frantic and crazy. After doing it a few times, people have eye opening discoveries about how much they are racing beyond themselves, and how this lends itself to not being present, aware or conscious. They are unable to see options that would otherwise be obvious if they were slowed down enough to respond rather than react. Centering is fundamental – the foundation of all the other Master Keys. To the degree that you can master Centering, all the other Master Keys will realize their true power in your life. Your blessings will increase immensely, and you master these Master Keys. Centering will light the fuse! It is instrumental in putting you on path to your dream and is an essential building block and integrative part of the other Master Keys.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 111 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Points of Power - Chapter 8 Master Key #1: Centering: The Art of a True Response

The four steps of Centering are to: 1) Stop 2) Slow down (using your breath) 3) Look within and discover what is true 4) Do what is true.

You cannot be happy, if you can't make decisions that honor your truth.

As long as you are un-centered, you are going “too fast” internally. Like a gerbil in a rotating wheel, you are easily pushed over, unstable, distracted, and manipulated. Without being grounded in your own self, you are too easily shaken.

You cannot make effective decisions, if you're not disengaged from others’ expectations.

The Moment of Choice is in the Now. Virtually every dysfunction or defense is fundamentally rooted in the moment of choice and starts with un-centered decisions.

Centering is an ability that will tremendously increase your ability to make effective decisions. You will make decisions that make you successful and happy.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 112 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 9: Master Key #2: Honoring Your Truth

"… to thine own self be true." William Shakespeare

In the Carlos Castaneda series, Carlos’s teacher, Don Juan Matus, passed down wisdom from the ancients. The whole system of knowledge was based on building one’s personal power. Many contemporary icons and teachers like Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer have quoted this “man of knowledge.”

“One must assume responsibility for being in a weird world," he said. "We are in a weird world, you know." I nodded my head affirmatively. "We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to convince you that you must assume responsibility for being here, in this marvelous world, in this marvelous desert, in this marvelous time. I wanted to convince you that you must learn to make every act count, since you are going to be here for only a short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all of the marvels of it." I insisted that to be bored with the world or to be at odds with it was the human condition. "So, change it," he replied dryly. "If you do not respond to that challenge you are as good as dead." Carlos Castaneda’s Don Juan Matus

Personal power is synonymous with self-esteem, self-concept and confidence. The power to manifest one’s dreams and results in one’s life depends greatly on one key skill. The key to personal power is honoring one’s truth. This skill is the greatest key to happiness and success. It is the ability to honor one’s truth.

The single greatest key to being happy and successful is to honor one’s truth.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 113 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Every time you have an upset you are doing one simple thing- NOT honoring your truth. Every time you have a problem you are doing one simple thing- NOT honoring your truth.

Every time you have a conflict you are doing one simple thing- NOT honoring your truth.

Every time you have a barrier or obstacle you are doing one simple thing- NOT honoring your truth.

Every time you enter a state of dissatisfaction you are doing one simple thing- NOT honoring your truth.

Every time you are unhappy in any way you are doing one simple thing- NOT honoring your truth.

When you are not being true to your self - you are “selling out.” You are being inauthentic – you are betraying your own truth. To honor your truth means to be true to yourself.

To betray your self is to NOT do what you truly want to do, or to get Talked into DOING what you truly DON'T want to do Or what we call "selling out.”

Typically, this looks like giving in, going along with, putting up with, ignoring it, swallowing your thoughts or feelings, pretending it’s okay, or other variations of the same behaviors where the dominant focus is “Don’t Want”. After living in Cedu Foundation for seven months and experiencing group therapy three times a week, I had a profound revelation. It struck like lightning that in all of these groups, with people going below the surface, weeping about issues in their life, having profound healings, it suddenly occurred to me that what each of these healing moments had in common was the fact that the person’s pain was caused by their own self-betrayal, their own “selling out.” Every single time, with every single person, no matter what the upset was about, with each trail of tears, the common factor every time, was their own self-betrayal.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 114 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

All upsets, problems, barriers or obstacles start at the instant of self-betrayal. Every upset ends the instant you commit to honor your truth.

Honoring one’s truth is a never-ending lesson. A good metaphor for this is the children’s board game, Chutes and Ladders. Honoring your truth is a ladder that you will climb, rung by rung, your entire life, based on every experience, every turn you take. You will have those encounters where you will find yourself sliding backward, sometimes on a small slide, or “sell-out”, and sometimes on very long ones, with more consequence and feeling. You must just begin again, on your next turn to climb forward. The adult version of this could be chess. It may take only a few minutes to learn how to play, but it can take a lifetime to become a master at chess. There is value in repetition. To emphasize this point, which is of the utmost importance, please read it again until you are crystal clear that you understand.

The cause of all upsets, problems, obstacles, barriers, dysfunctions, patterns, Non-working behaviors etc., etc., is SELF-BETRAYAL.

If you don’t know where you may be “selling out”, (giving in, going along with, putting up with, swallowing, etc.) you can use a very simple process to discover it. It is to “play the movie back.” Start your memory at the beginning of this situation or circumstance and take some wild guesses as to where you might have “sold out” or betrayed yourself. A few minutes of discovery will yield great results. Often we are not conscious of where we “sold out” yet are clearly upset. For example in traffic, someone cuts us off and we get very upset, yet there are other times when everyone in traffic seems obviously upset and we are almost surprised that we are not upset. In both situations there is not an awareness of “selling out.” This can be because we don’t have to betray ourselves in the current situation. The situation could push an emotional button that triggers off a past memory of self- betrayal perhaps when we were three years old, and this current situation triggers off this negative association.

The ultimate solution to all of our problems is HONORING YOUR TRUTH!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 115 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

One of the great obstacles for people honoring their truth is being concerned about what others will think. The truth is in the quote below.

“The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self- confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes, and calls that humbleness.” Carlos Castaneda’s Don Juan Matus

My Quest: Caring About Them In my early days at Cedu, since I was the “King of Wimps”, you could’ve asked me for my house or my car and I would have given it to you. It seemed as if I was physically incapable of saying the word “No.” One day in one of our groups, our counselor Michael called me on this. He asked me, “Why don’t you just say ‘no’?” I gave the typical answer that most people in our culture would give. I said, “I don’t want to hurt their feelings.” Michael said something that has been ringing in my ears for over 35 years. Bluntly and honestly, he replied. “You don’t give a shit about their feelings. What you care about is what they’ll think about you… or say about you after you hurt their feelings. So what you really care about is your image. Your image is not even something that is real. If you truly cared about them, you would look deep enough inside yourself to know that what truly serves people is the truth. And you would be willing to “look bad” and even hurt their feelings in order to serve them.” This message went through me like a bolt of lightning, and over the years, the more powerful I become as an influencer and communicator, the more meaning this message has for me. In most any room, I can ask people, “If you wanted someone to give you the absolute truth about anything, who in this room would you most trust to give you the truth. They will typically say me. I then clarify that it is because I love them more than those who care about what people think. For example someone wants to find the love of his or her life. They go to dances, go out with friends, and are trying many strategies they believe will help them find someone. But the way they present themselves is so disheveled and non- appealing that they probably alienate most people they meet. If a true friend cared about them, they would tell them the truth lovingly about their hair, or the clothes, or their breath or whatever doesn’t work because they care about their dreams and success, rather than caring about “hurting their feelings.” That person could go through years of pain and rejection because most people are too “nice” to really care about them.

“You can either care about PEOPLE or you can care about what they think. You can’t do both.” -Anonymous

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 116 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Being true to self is not the same as being selfish! Honoring your truth or being true to self does not come from fear. Selfishness does. Often, under the guise of being true to self, people will fight for what is selfish. This is a key distinction, which is often hard to discern. Selfishness will not bring you peace. Being true to self (even when others deem it selfish) will. Honoring your truth comes from love, and will most often express itself as win-win, whereas selfishness will express itself as win-lose. Until you know the difference, better to err on the side of being true to self. I quite often assign people in my programs a new skill of saying “No” to everything anyone asks of them for 30 days. They have to say “No” until they review a “Green Light checklist” to discover if it is really true and works for them. Then they can come back and say, “Yes.” For wimpy folks, it is a revelation. They learn, as I did, that they can do it, that they can put the clutch in, and not react, and the world doesn’t disappear when they say “No.” When I was the “king of wimps” although I was constantly “selling out” by being nice and giving away the farm, I wasn’t truly giving anything. I was being talked out of it. I mistakenly thought I might be earning brownie points in heaven by giving in, going along with, putting up with, when all I was doing was putting garbage on my own head. As I learned to say, “No” and draw my boundaries, I became more giving. As I’ve grown in my ability to honor my truth, I have become increasing more giving.

My Quest: “You Don’t Have a Self.”

A counselor at Cedu was this Mike that I truly respected once said to me, “Gary, you’ve never given anything. You’ve always been talked into giving, which is not giving. You can’t give because you have no self to give from. You cannot truly say “Yes” until you can truly say, “No.” If you learn to say “No” long enough, one day you will have a self, and you will be able to truly give. It will be a glorious day. Someone will come up and ask for something, and you won’t feel like giving it, and then you will reconsider, and just want to give something to serve them. That will be the day you have a self!” I remember very clearly when that day happened, exactly as he said, I burst into tears realizing that I finally had a self, and could begin to give. Since then, I have come to realize that the more enlightened I become, and able to draw my boundaries and say, “No” when needed, the more I have to give, and actually want to give, because it is MY joy. Giving when true is a great key.

Happiness is a “State of Being.”

Honoring your truth is the key to happiness; and yet in the search for happiness, rarely do people notice that they create happiness from moment to moment. And since they rarely check in with themselves from moment to moment, they go through their day, not even noticing that they’ve betrayed their truth, they’ve “sold out” and are not happy.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 117 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo A state of being is like a light bulb, which is either on or off in every right now. So in every right now, right now, right now, you are either in one or the other of the following states (or theaters):

TO PLAY (Love) OR NOT TO PLAY (Fear)

In every right now, you are either…

Complete or Incomplete Resolved or Un-resolved Satisfied or Un-satisfied Finished or Un-finished

Right now . . . right now . . . right now. . .

In every right now, you are either in a state of:

TO PLAY (Love) or NOT TO PLAY (Fear) Ownership or “Going Through the Motions” Response or Reaction

When we are true to self, genuine and authentic, we are happy and in a state of play. When we are not happy or in play, we are in a state of fear.

The Emotional Black Hole

In the scientific context, a Black Hole is something that sucks up everything including light. We have an emotional equivalent of this within our psyche. An “Emotional Black Hole” will suck up everything in your life. It will use up your aliveness. Ultimately, the reason we don't honor our truth is because from our earliest childhood wounding and training, we are trying to avoid a particular negative experience that we will do almost anything to not experience again. That is the place within us where our greatest doubts and fears live; those thoughts and feelings where "what's wrong with me?" exist. It represents those unfinished, unresolved experiences where we were wounded. We betray our truth rather than experience feeling

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 118 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo something like "not good enough" or "unlovable" or "worthless" or "different" or “stupid,” etc. We call these core level self-doubts the “Emotional Black Hole.” Common, everyday occurrences, both behaviorally and emotionally will be transformed and magnified when the Emotional Black Hole has been triggered. The Emotional Black Hole is the dark place inside of us where if I make a mistake I'm probably stupid. Or, if I screw up - I'm worthless. If I fail - I'm an outcast. If I'm rejected - I'm unlovable. We all know that tune; we all have our own version of it. The Emotional Black Hole is this place inside of us where we don't want to FEEL. Examples would be for instance…

Mistakes = Stupid Screwing up = Worthless Failing = Outcast Rejection = Unlovable Vulnerability = Weak

An example would be, when Rex asks to borrow $50.00 what I really want to do is say, "No, thank you." What you think subconsciously however is, “I can't do that because then … I'll be rude. And, if I'm rude people won't like me. I'll feel "unlovable." And I HATE not being loved or liked.” I hate it so much I will do anything to avoid an experience called "We don't like you." I will do anything. I will wimp out. I will give in. I will lie. In other words, I will not tell the truth about it. I will do anything to avoid that experience, that feeling. They won't like me. They'll reject me. They won't respect me. Etc. In my workshops once the space is set and the participants feel emotionally safe enough, I ask the participants do an exercise where they identify a lesser upset. (It's obviously much easier to process a small upset). Then they identify "How do I sell out'? (Give up, give in, go along with, put up with, swallow, etc.). What is my style of 'selling out?' For example, do I first swallow my feelings, then get quiet, then walk away, then slam doors...? What do you do? Whenever you betray your own truth you automatically go down a series of reactions that continue until you get back on track and commit to honoring your truth.

Honoring Your Truth is Accomplished Through “Yes” and “No.”

If you look closely you will see that every upset, every moment when we betray our own truth is either a “Yes” or “No” moment in the now. We are either saying “Yes” when we mean “No” or vice versa. It has become so obvious to me how poor most of us are at saying “No” and drawing our boundaries. It has become a very common assignment in my leadership programs for people to take on the assignment of saying “No” to everything anyone

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 119 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo asks of them for 30 days. It is such a stretch for most people that they have unprecedented shifts and breakthroughs in their life. Most people are very poor at knowing when to say “Yes” or when to say “No.” This has many consequences and is ultimately behind all dysfunctions or self-invalidating patterns.

Overwhelm

The state of overwhelm is a perfect example of honoring your truth through “yes” and “no”.

Overwhelm is the un-centered use of the “Moment of Choice.”

Most people in this culture who are somewhat intelligent and somewhat capable are in the state of “overwhelm!” These people consistently live a life out of balance, with never enough "play time." They juggle too many balls and they work ten, twelve or fourteen hours a day. They are always too busy, always overworked, and they rarely have enough time for the things that truly matter. Consistently stressed, they don't see any way out because they "have responsibilities." The mere suggestion of a more balanced life will usually elicit the response, "… if I could find the time." The over-activity does not translate into extra happiness or fulfillment. On the contrary, we can usually measure a person’s happiness by the degree of balance in their lives. People in “overwhelm” all have one thing in common. They are poor at managing the “moment of choice.” They are very poor at knowing when to say “Yes” or when to say “No.” When a decision to take on more activity comes to them, they constantly "sell out," doing things they should do, instead of what they truly want to do. They succumb instead of truly choosing. They are being “good boys and girls” and life resembles the fate of Sisyphus, continually pushing his heavy stone uphill! In fact, the mythological story of Sisyphus is a metaphor for all the difficult and repetitive labor that is frustrating and unrewarding. A person in overwhelm is a person who is frustrated and unrewarded. They expend “overwhelming” amounts of time and effort and energy in service or obligation to others at the expense of their own truth. This is simply because they say “Yes” when they mean “No.” They rarely take the time to evaluate, or they underestimate the time and resources involved in the activities they say yes to. They say yes to far too many things they would have said "no" to if they had the ability to manage the “moment of choice” effectively.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 120 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

The Moment of Choice is always in the “Now.” Virtually every dysfunction, pattern or defense, originates In the moment of choice and starts with un-centered decisions.

Mastering the “Moment of Choice” is the umbrella to all other skills of empowerment. Of all the skills that ignite or transform your life, this is the umbrella strategy that makes all other skills possible. This is because until you can master the moment of choice and choose from a centered state, you will forever be in some version of self-betrayal: giving in, going along with, putting up with, succumbing, resisting, or “selling out.” When you are “selling out”, you are creating stress and upsets. They become part and parcel of daily living. So now we know that the moment of choice is key and we understand the importance of it. Because the moment of choice is where our happiness or self-betrayal and upset begin, you can now recognize how vital is it to be centered in each moment of choice, because you need to be able to disengage from reacting and you need to learn how to put the clutch in when people ask you for things. You need a guideline in order to choose wisely, a baseline for your own truth. We use a tool we call “The Green Light Checklist.” In our “Movement Into Mastery” program we assign people who have trouble drawing boundaries (those typically in overwhelm) a new skill. They commit to saying “No,” to everything that anyone asks of them for thirty days and often need 90 days plus. They need to say something like, “I need to say “No” for now, and I will be with this, to see if this can work for me, and then I will get back to you.” By doing this for thirty days, with enough conscious repetition, they can create a new habit of putting in the clutch and truly looking to see if they are choosing or simply reacting.

The Structure of Upsets

All upsets have a structured sequence- a beginning and an end, with key ingredients just like a cake. You can’t bake a good upset without the key ingredients. So here they are. Everything you need to bake a good upset. These will be the key ingredients in all problems, barriers, obstacles, defenses, dysfunctions and self- defeating behaviors. If you've got an upset, it means you must be doing several things simultaneously – most of which may be subconscious and we aren’t even aware of them. I’ve listed them below: When you have an upset, you automatically do one of the following six things, Ingredients: (What you ARE doing that creates an upset) 1. Self-Betrayal - “selling out” (Giving in, going along with, putting up with, “… forget it” etc.) 2. Justification / Defense (perceiving an attack)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 121 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo 3. Blame and Fault Finding (making someone or something wrong) 4. Superiority and Self Righteousness with a side of Victimization (Feeling "Above" (Superior, Righteous) and simultaneously "Below" (Victimized). You are not with them anymore. The light bulb of love just went off! 5. Insult- Hearing something you DON'’T WANT to hear. 6. Resistance- Inadvertently moving toward (by resisting) what you DON'’T WANT.

When baking a good upset, you will mix in these primary ingredients automatically, without intending to.

Please OMIT the following ingredients for a perfect upset! (What you ARE NOT doing that creates upset)

7. Your own truth: Do not honor your truth. Do not do or say what is true. 8. Choice: Do not move toward what you DO WANT by choosing it. 9. Asking at 100%: Do not ask for what is true, (what you truly want) at 100%.

Directions: How to Bake a Great Upset

Betray your own truth, (give in, go along with, put up with, etc.) and you automatically have all the right ingredients to create an upset. With “Selling Out” the other ingredients are the natural expression of self-betrayal. It is your “Selling Out” or betraying your truth that creates your un-centered and reactive states. Once in these un-centered states you are much more likely to “sell out” again!

Amy: An Example

A hair stylist we’ll call Amy experienced being emotionally upset as a child in a way where she felt betrayed by her father moving the family from one state to another. She perceived this move as hurting the entire family because they had to leave all their friends behind, but she didn’t speak up fully in the original situation. She interpreted him as “going away” and emotionally not caring and leaving her heart behind. She made it up that she was abandoned by her father’s lack of caring. If she had spoken up completely, she may have been hurt or disappointed, but she would not have created the emotional tape of unfinished business that then continues to replay itself when people appear to be going away. Once she creates the emotional recording of people going away, and her own part in not asking for what is true for her at 100%, she then sees the world through that filter, and will react exactly as in the original situation. This could be because she was a child at the time, and as many people do, she perceived that she was powerless in the situation. It may be possible that at any age people have the power of honoring their truth. To understand this we only need to look

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 122 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo at babies or young children who have not yet learned to “sell out”, or to perfectly bake an upset cake. So from this moment on, any of Amy’s clients that appear to be “going away” will push this emotional button, as likely will friends or colleagues or anyone whom she perceives as “leaving” her, even if it is by an act as simple as rescheduling a lunch date. In Amy’s current business, when it appears that people are considering going to a competitor of hers, she will automatically feel betrayed because of the unfinished business of the old emotional tapes. She may “wimp out” and not speak up (swallowing her resentment) and write the client off when a conversation might win them back. The other option is that she may react on the client and use a scolding tone of voice, and lose the client. Now the past emotional tape colors her perception. Until she heals this recording, every time someone pushes this emotional button, she will react with the exact same perceptions, non-working or self-defeating behaviors, which affect her business and love life. She will hear insults than no one means, and collapse as she did in her childhood.

Amy’s Upset

Ingredients (what she did and continues to do)

Self-Betrayal: Original Situation: She didn’t fully express herself to her father – she swallowed her feelings. She did not say, “Dad, I don’t want to move.” Today: She does not say “Jennifer, I haven’t seen you for a while, is there something you didn’t like about the way I did your hair? I’d hate to lose you as a client!”

Justification: Original Situation: She told herself, “He won’t listen to me anyway…” Today: She tells herself now, “It wouldn’t matter, Jennifer won’t come back anyway.”

Blame: Original Situation: It was “its Dads fault that we live in Magna rather than Southern California…” Today: It is “It’s Jennifer’s fault. She’s a jerk for not telling me she was leaving.”

Superiority: Original Situation: “I would never have done something so terrible to my children…” Today: She says to herself, “Jennifer is like so many rude people who leave and don’t have the sensitivity to say goodbye.”

Victimization:

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 123 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Original Situation: “I’m helpless and my opinion doesn’t count.” Today: “I would never just leave someone without telling them why” and “Poor me, I just get all the terrible, inconsiderate clients. Why don’t they like me?”

Insults: Original Situation: Although he didn’t say them, in her mind she heard him say, “Who cares about you anyway? – You don’t matter.” Today: She hears, “Who cares about you or your work? You don’t matter.”

Resistance: In both cases, she moves toward what she DOES NOT WANT: Original Situation: “I hate people who do whatever they want and don’t consider others.” By her resistance of them, she becomes a magnet for exactly these kinds of people. Today: It’s very similar, “I hate clients who don’t consider others.”

Amy’s Secondary Ingredients (What she is NOT doing that would work to fix it)

Personal Truth: In either case, she is not stating her truth. Original Situation: “Dad, I want to tell you why this is so important to me…” Today: “Jennifer, your business is very important to me…”

Choice: She is not making a choice to get all, or even some of what she wants. Original Situation: “Dad, I want to stay here. I want to be here with everyone that loves me!” She is not calling her clients to see what she can learn to keep her clients or win them back, and is not identifying any corrections or adjustments that can improve the clients’ experience at her salon. Today: “Jennifer, was there something you didn’t like about the way I did your hair? I’d be happy to give you a free session to make it up to you.”

Asking at 100%: She is not asking. Original Situation: “Dad, can we please stay here in Southern California?” Today: “Jennifer, I want to be your best and favorite stylist. Would you give me your coaching or suggestions as to how I can accomplish this?”

Remember, that it doesn’t truly matter whether she gets what she wants. She will be satisfied, fulfilled and much more successful by simply ASKING for what is true at 100%! One of the biggest pitfalls in our culture is the notion that one cannot be happy or satisfied unless they get what they want. People are very convinced of this, and yet, a notion is something that sounds completely accurate, but has no truth in it at all! There is not an ounce of truth in the notion that the only way to be satisfied is to get what you want. What if you could actually be satisfied even when you don’t get the job, or get that man or woman to go out with you? What if you could get turned down,

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 124 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo and maybe even be very sad or disappointed, and yet be proud, fulfilled and satisfied simultaneously? We will go into more detail in Chapter Ten on this point. For now, give it a possibility.

“It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Self-Reliance”

My Quest: The Blessings of Being True

When I left Cedu Foundation after 3 years, I visited Hawaii before I began my new career as a facilitator. While I was living in a rented apartment in Oahu, I made it up in my mind that only in a very unique and special environment like Cedu, would people understand skills like honoring your truth or saying “no” when it’s true. But out in the real world, I thought people weren’t able to understand such authenticity. So I began to “sell out” more and more. When I became aware of how down I was, I knew it was because I was giving in, going along with, and generally “selling out” to my new friends in Hawaii. I had wired it up that when I honored my truth, people out in the real world wouldn’t really understand, and I might be a very lonely person. Or I could choose to get along with everyone, and be miserable from “selling out.” Do I choose between “selling out” and be miserable, or honor my truth and be one of the loneliest people around? At the time, I didn’t know that this was very faulty thinking. I chose to honor my truth even if it meant I might be lonely. I started telling the truth to the friends I’d made, and all but one stopped coming around. With him, telling the truth made us closer. I started to honor my truth and three huge blessings came my way all in the same week! The first blessing was that I met a young woman from Wisconsin on the beach whom I came to love dearly. The second blessing was that although I was convinced that I might end up very lonely, I met an incredible group of new friends! The third blessing happened while I was hitchhiking around the islands and ended up on the big island of Hawaii. Many of the same people would run into each other because we generally would stay at the same campsites. One day a whole crowd of people was trying to lay expectations on me to do something they thought I should do for someone, and it simply was not true for me to do. When I said “no” they began to give me grief about it. I lovingly stood my ground and kept true to myself. I got back on the road with my backpack to hitchhike to the next campsite that was by a waterfall I wanted to visit. I was feeling very proud of myself for taking a stand and honoring my truth, especially given what a “wimp” I had been before Cedu. I was standing on the main road that circles the big island of Hawaii and I was very surprised when a black limousine with a chauffeur pulled over to give me a ride. The man in the back of the limo was a pleasant looking gentleman with a classy demeanor in his late

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 125 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo 40s. He said, “Kid, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I never pick up hitchhikers. You were so on fire I had to pull over to see what you are so lit up about.” I told him about my time at Cedu and about learning to honor my truth, and how I’d just stood up to a crowd of expectations and was true to myself. When I was done, he let me know that he didn’t have a son and he’d begun recently to keep his eyes open for someone capable of learning his lucrative import business because he wanted to turn it over to the right person. On the spot he asked if I wanted to learn his business with the idea of turning it over to me someday. Although I was honored, I told him I was excited to go back to the states, to begin my career as a facilitator, and graciously turned him down. When these three blessings hit me all in one week, I finally realized that these outstanding events were no accident. I began to realize the connection between being on track and the blessings that follow. They showed up because choosing to honor my truth was so on track with my self and my dream. Since our quest for progression is infinite, we are not likely to be finished with our upsets or problems any time soon. Actually, I once heard that if we told the truth – we would disappear! So the more interested you are in looking within to discover the lesson within today’s upset, the faster you rise to higher ground in your money, your love life, your parenting or whatever your focus is.

Visualization: Where are You Honoring / NOT Honoring Your Truth?

The following is a visualization you can do to discover the gold in today’s upsets around honoring your truth. This is an exercise that you can use to anchor in the importance of the concepts in this chapter. I will repeat these questions in different ways so that you may have different access when recalling the information or examples from your own life. As a facilitator I’ve learned that asking the same question in 5 different ways will elicit 5 different responses in the recall. Each different recall may be valuable.

BEGIN. Imagine 2 movie screens in your mind’s eye.

On one screen … Recall any and all times when you:

*Were true to yourself… (Pause 6-10 seconds of reflection after each recollection)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 126 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

On the other screen …

Recall any and all times when you:

*Were NOT true to yourself (Pause 6-10 seconds)

In what way were you not asking for what you truly wanted? (Pause, 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1)

Recall any and all times when you:

*Honored your truth *Did NOT honor your truth (10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1) (Pause) In what way were you not asking for what you truly wanted? (Pause)

Recall any and all times when you:

*Were true to yourself *Sold Out; by NOT doing or saying (Pause) what you truly want to do or say? (Pause)

In what way were you not asking for what you truly wanted? (Pause)

*Took a stand for what was true in your heart. *Sold Out; by get talked into DOING what was (Pause) you truly didn’t want to do? (Pause)

In what way were you not asking for what you truly wanted? *Were true to your own true heart’s desire.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 127 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo (Pause) *Gave in, put up with, collapsed, or any other way betrayed yourself. (Pause)

In what way were you not asking for what you truly wanted? (Pause) END. What did you notice in this visualization? The value of any experiential exercise lies in what you noticed. There may be nothing more to do that simply notice and be aware. Your awareness by and of itself can move you in the right direction! If you had an “aha” moment you are welcome to take a note or two to recall and make it applicable.

“Speak what you think now in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today. - "Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood." - Is it so bad to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” Ralph Waldo Emerson in “Self-Reliance”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 128 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Points of Power Chapter 9: Master Key #2: Honoring Your Truth

The single greatest key to being happy and successful is to honor one’s truth.

To betray your self is what we call "selling out," to NOT do what you truly want to do, or to get talked into DOING what you truly DON'T want to do.

All upsets begin at the moment of self-betrayal. (Giving in, going along with, putting up with, swallowing your thoughts or feelings, ignoring your concerns, pretending, etc.)

The cause of all upsets, problems, obstacles, barriers, dysfunctions, patterns, non- working behaviors etc., etc., is SELF-BETRAYAL

The solution to all of our problems is HONORING YOUR TRUTH

So in every right now, right now, right now, you are either: Complete or Incomplete Resolved or Unresolved Satisfied or Unsatisfied Finished or Unfinished right now . . . right now . . . right now . . .

Honoring Your Truth is Accomplished Through “Yes” and “No.”

Overwhelm is the un-centered use of the “Moment of Choice.”

The Moment of Choice is always in the “Now.” Virtually every dysfunction, pattern or defense originates in the moment of choice, and starts with un-centered decisions.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 129 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 10: Master Key #3 Asking @ 100%

"Ask and it shall be given to you…" Jesus of Nazareth

The Power of the Word

The ancient Indian Aryans considered sound to be a symbol of the Divine. Their hymns were powerful and pervasive and filled the consciousness of the people. They became synonymous with the Divine, the power of Brahmin, "the All.” Since ancient times, the practice of vocalizing desires in the form of song, chanting, words or dance has remained an unparalleled connection to Brahmin, God, and summoning the divine power within each person. They came to believe that by uttering the powerful words of their rituals, they controlled the cosmic powers associated with the elements of the ritual. Thus, the sacred words themselves came to be seen as powerful.

Vedic creation myths even suggest that the gods were themselves brought into existence through the naming of them. According to this tradition, the entire universe is created from the primordial mantra “OM”, the original, all encompassing creative vibration from which all things come.

Even today, though it may come as a surprise, the power of word, language and request, when harnessed and focused inwardly result in a harmonious, peaceful state that we call satisfaction.

Satisfaction is a state of being that occurs any time You are doing one simple thing: Asking for what is true at 100%.

In the last chapter, we learned that not asking for what is true at 100% is a major ingredient in any upset. Think about this for a moment. Find your personal experience in the truth of the following examples.

When you have a complaint – you’re not asking for what is true. When you lash out at those you love – you’re not asking for what is true. When you withhold intimacy in your relationships – you’re not asking for what is true.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 130 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo When you give in, go along with, put up with, succumb, swallow, and play the victim, you’re not asking for what is true. When you blame, shame, fault or guilt others, you’re not asking for what is true. Again, as mentioned earlier, please remember that asking for what is true or for what you want does not mean being selfish, it means asking for your highest good or truth at 100%. Most people do not know how to know what is from their highest self or truth or good. When they look inside, they often answer the question from their “critical parent” and lay a lot of “Shoulds” on themselves. Until you can learn how to know the distinction between your ‘critical parent’ and your truth, I suggest an edited version of a revolutionary tool that we use in our courses called Empowerment Dialogue (a development out of Gestalt Therapy.) Recall when we talked about the “Critical Parent” and the “Rebellious Child.” When we are in conflict, the parent part of us in typically critical. When the Parent is critical the child either goes into succumbing or going through the motions, outright rebellion, or paralysis. When the Parent can come to being a coach instead of a critic, with the attitude of “A little to the left… a little to the right… Good, you got it!” then the child becomes spontaneous and creative. The child within is now willing to show up and shine! The “Dialogue of Conflict” that follows illustrates in detail what happens when the internal parent and child are at odds.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 131 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The Dialogue of Conflict:

If the Parent is nurturing, then the child is spontaneous, creative. If the Parent is critical, the child either succumbs is rebellious or paralyzed.

Parent: (Top Dog) Child: (Under Dog) Nurturing vs. Critical Creative, Spontaneous vs. Rebellious

1.) The child gets scared and resists or “SELLS OUT,” betrays itself, does not honor its truth. Begins reacting, doing non-working behaviors. Gets off track 2.) The Parent sees the non-working with the goal or dream. behavior and begins to push or CRITISIZE. 3.) If the Parent gets critical, the child gets rebellious. At this stage, the child will usually rebel as follows:

a) By saying, "I don't want to, “I don't feel like it”, or "I'll do it later.”

b) By SUCCUMBING, by going along 4.) Now, the Parent begins to with, by giving in, and "going THREATEN, through the motions" they do what I.e. "If you don't do this, then you are they are “supposed to do” but with just like your father always said you no real intention, and thus no are . . . you are lazy, you’re a loser, results! It comes from a hidden you'll never do anything.” sabotage.

5.) As the Parent begins to threaten, the child gets outright REBELLIOUS. i.e. 6.) Now the Parent gets absolutely “Oh yea, you want me to lose weight? . ATTACKS VICIOUSLY and pulls no . . Well watch this . . . “(They stuff their punches. Now, it will ineffectively face with a whole box of cookies!) criticize you using all of your worst emotional tapes; push any 7.) Now the Child becomes PARALYZED. emotional button it can in order to They speak from, "You want to see me get your child to move in the right move? … I'll move when hell freezes over!" direction. i.e. "You are weak, you are On this issue or concern, there is NO nothing, and you are a no good, fat, movement. Just a vicious circle of paralysis lazy pig. . ." and self-beat-up!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 132 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

When we facilitate this process, you find that these voices maintain the dysfunction. Ultimately they both want the same things. The Parent wants movement and Child wants safety, but they both want to move toward the dream. Because they are both using ineffective strategies to get what they want, they stay stuck. The parent continues to criticize, to beat-up the child within, and the child continues to bail out, to put their head in the sand, to go through the motions, or finally outright rebels. So if the critical parent keeps scolding the child to lose weight eventually the child acts out and expressing, “Oh you want to see me lose weight… watch this…” and they eat 10 donuts in one sitting! When they finally work it out, the parent doesn’t really want to beat up or criticize the child, they want the child to listen – to allow them to give their guidance – in essence, to be a wise coach. The child doesn’t want to put their head in the sand; they just want safety; they don’t want to get beat up; they want encouragement; and room to make mistakes. Here’s a short version of the Empowerment Dialogue process, which resolves the Dialogue of Conflict. You can start with this version until you can learn fully the more advanced version. Put two chairs facing each other, and talk out loud about whatever conflict or decision that is challenging you. For example, one side of you wants to say, “Start a private practice,” and one side of you wants to keep your job for the security. Put one side in one chair and the other side in the other chair and allow both sides to have a conversation, switching chairs every time one side is done speaking and the other side wants to speak. Let all the voices in your head talk out loud. This is absolutely essential as speaking out-loud brings information from subconscious to conscious. You may have many eye opening “ahas.” Keep dialoging until they can come to terms and can agree. When it feels like they can both agree and shake hands in agreement, you are complete. If you get stuck, you will need to call one of our coaches. Please see the contact info at the end of the book. Once you get skilled with this process, you literally never have to make a bad decision for as long as you live, as long as you make the time to do the process. In this way, with practice, you have a tool to know exactly what you want and what is true to your highest nature.

The Joy of Rejection!

What if it's true, or even possible, that you could ask for what is true, get turned down, and walk away feeling 100% filled to the brim with satisfaction? It may be a startling revelation to discover, and even an unbelievable one to discover that getting what you want has nothing to do with satisfaction.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 133 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

The lie in our culture is that you will be happy when you get what you want. Getting what you want has nothing to do with satisfaction. Sometimes getting what you want is gratifying. But gratification is NOT satisfaction.

Sometimes getting what you want is gratifying. But gratification is NOT satisfaction.

Gratification is the easy highs, like pizza, sex, and roller coasters. When you get what is true, it can be very gratifying. But fulfillment, satisfaction, peace, and happiness only come from asking for what is true @ 100%. These come from diving into your dreams, going the distance, playing wholeheartedly, and from doing what makes you proud. Now, if you spend a day doing what makes you proud – for instance, doing a great at your job or passion, creating a lot of satisfaction, and then go out to dinner to add some gratification on top of the satisfaction, then you may notice that that steak or stir-fry never tasted so good! The key aspect of self-betrayal and thus the cause of all upsets, problems, obstacles, barriers, dysfunctions, patterns, non-working behaviors etc., is NOT ASKING @ 100% FOR WHAT IS TRUE. You simply cannot be upset or have a problem unless you are not asking for what is true at 100% (not being true, honoring your truth.)

If you ARE satisfied, then you are asking for what is true at 100%. If you're NOT satisfied, or not happy, or incomplete, or unresolved Or unfinished or upset, etc. then you are NOT asking for what is true Or you're asking, but not wholeheartedly... not at 100%.

Oh, you're NOT asking for what is true… well then you're NOT happy. Oh, you ARE asking for what is true… well then you ARE happy.

Let me say it again:

Oh, you're NOT asking for what is true… well then you're NOT happy. Oh, you ARE asking for what is true… well then you ARE happy.

It's really that simple! (Although it is rarely easy.)

The lie in our culture is that people can only be happy when they GET what they want. It's easy to believe this lie. Yet, there isn't one ounce of truth in it. Happiness,

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 134 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo satisfaction, fulfillment does NOT come from getting what we want. The only thing that can come from getting what we want is GRATIFICATION. Gratification is NOT Satisfaction. When you get what is true, it can be very gratifying. But pride, fulfillment, satisfaction only comes from being authentic, wholehearted, from being your true self... from being true. Satisfaction comes from asking wholeheartedly, from risking wholeheartedly, from risking from your heart, from acting as if you ARE good enough. What if it's true, what if it's possible that you could ask for what is true, get turned down, and walk away feeling 100% filled to the brim, satisfied? If it were true, you would be invincible.

Being Invincible – Risking Wholeheartedly

When you risk wholeheartedly, you are invincible, you cannot be damaged. You can be disappointed or sad, but not damaged. It is only when you risk half-heartedly, (as if you're not "good enough") That you are damageable.

A client of mine had a revelation during the time she was in the Movement into Mastery program that I facilitate. She had looked back over the path she had followed, and had thought of her biggest victories and biggest disappointments. The disappointments that she noticed had one thing in common. She had started to make excuses for failure before the endeavor even began. Before the tryout, before the investment, before the relationship, before the goal, there were the excuses and the consolation. The dialogue went like this: “Might as well give it a shot, but it’s a bad economy, and if it doesn’t work, I’m only out my time and effort (or x amount of money, etc.”) She was hedging her dreams. “Sure, that would be great, but if it doesn’t work out, no big deal.” This realization brought her to an emotional conclusion. She told me, “Gary, I want to dare. I want to dare to be brokenheartedly disappointed.” When the level of desire and commitment is so high, that to not realize it means a broken heart, that is a whole-hearted risk. Satisfaction comes from asking wholeheartedly, from risking wholeheartedly, from risking from your heart, from acting as if you ARE good enough. When you risk as if you're "not good enough" and you are turned down, what does it prove to your mind? It proves that you're "not good enough." Take any example of any time you have asked for anything from a tone of meekness, or from lack. You ask with hesitancy, and your request is often clipped and abbreviated. It's as if you are expecting the answer that you get, which is most often, no, or only a partial and incomplete yes which is, predictably, only partially satisfying and does not move you toward your dream.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 135 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo When you are not moving toward your dream, you are either betraying yourself by putting up with, or going through the motions or any of the other behaviors that keeps people in the pain zone. You’ve gone from feeling complete and satisfied to being upset.

Choosing a Chair – The Story of My Life

At the Awakening Retreat, one of the first exercises is to play a game where people decide which chair they want to sit in, and then go ask people if they can sit there. It looks like a child's game, yet ends up being profound. People often comment, "My whole life is passing before my eyes." The game contains all of the ways in which people make decisions that are either satisfying or leave them feeling incomplete and unresolved. Some people will just sit there, without participating, afraid to get out of their chair, and "waiting" for life to happen. Some get up to get a different chair without ever looking to see where they truly want to sit. They react without looking within to discover what is true. Some people are afraid to ask more than once. Some people cannot say "No" when someone asks for their chair, and easily succumb. Some people start intellectualizing that perhaps I'm making the point that the perfect chair is the one they’re in, when in fact I'm making no such point. Some people will feel good about their first decision, especially if they get the chair they want; then stop looking to see if they are still satisfied or if the next moment wants something more or something else. Some people begin to con or manipulate or pressure for the chair they want. This will elicit the following question from me: "How do you know if you're truly asking for what is true at 100%?" The answer is that you know if you are truly asking at 100% if the other person feels like there is not just one right answer and that they have a choice and power in the situation. If you slip into conning or manipulating or pressuring, then you are being cowardly and not brave enough to be vulnerable and risk being turned down. If you’re NOT asking at 100%, you will either be passive (wimping out) or aggressive (pressuring, conning, manipulating, etc.) If the other person experiences that they have a choice to turn you down, then you may be truly asking at 100%! At some point in the game, when everyone seems settled, there is usually one person who doesn't want their original chair, but no one else will give up their chair. Each time someone turns them down; they look at me like, "Now what am I supposed to do?" I'm no help because all I do is keep repeating, "Satisfaction does not come from getting what we want, it comes from asking at 100%!" They get more and more frustrated, and usually about the time they want to pull their hair out, the light bulb goes off; and they finally get it that asking at 100% doesn’t have anything to do with getting the chair, it has to do with asking wholeheartedly. The next person they ask, they ask wholeheartedly and with enthusiasm, "So and so, can I have your chair?" They are beaming and their face lights up. I ask them, did you get what you wanted? They beam, "No!" I ask, "Are you satisfied?" They enthusiastically beam, "Yes!"

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 136 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Once the light bulb lights up, their whole countenance changes and the entire room seems to get the distinction between getting what you want and creating satisfaction by asking at 100%.

The Power of “Unreasonable” Requests:

There are two kinds of requests. There are reasonable requests, and there are unreasonable requests. In our culture, people learn to ask for what is reasonable.

If all you ever ask for is that which is reasonable, Then you will always get what you’ve always gotten.

If you ask only for what is reasonable, you won’t expand the possibilities of what you could ask for and receive! The power of unreasonable requests is that you can learn to expand your thinking of what is possible for you. In further trainings, taking this principle of asking at 100% to the next level, we assign our advanced leaders to discover the value of making "unreasonable requests." They are trained to think outside of the box. They look and see what it is that they want from someone that is absolutely unreasonable, and then to go and ask for it. They come back with outrageous stories of how they received unbelievable things from money, to higher positions, to time off, to people giving them extraordinary favors, etc. One participant, an M.D. who was experienced in alternative medicine, had a company that wanted to hire him but needed him to move to Santa Fe. He went in knowing he might be turned down, but he was still excited to try making an unreasonable request and told them, "I need to live in Salt Lake City and would like you to fly me down to Santa Fe when I'm needed there." To his amazement, the executives in charge of hiring didn't blink an eye and said, "OK, What else?" His astonishment was that if he hadn't known about "unreasonable requests," he wouldn't even thought outside the box in order to ask for it! When we assign our leaders to make unreasonable requests as a monthly assignment, we see them shift their concept of what is possible. We see them ask for the moon and stars and not blink about it, and, of course, reporting that they’ve gotten huge things they didn’t think were even possible. This is what dreams are made of.

What is Asking at 100%?

In order to be in the happy zone, you must honor your truth and ask for what is true at 100%. Lets break up this sentence in order to examine the true meaning of what it is to ask at 100%.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 137 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo In order to ask at 100% you must:

ASK NOT asking, holding back, withdrawing, swallowing, give up, etc. NOT conning, manipulating, pressuring, expecting. NOT acting like there's only ONE right answer! (Do others feel the room, the space, the permission to say “NO.”?)

FOR WHAT IS TRUE NOT what others want or expect, what you (For the highest good – the believe you ought to do or should want, or highest self) what's right to want, what's obligated, or your duty etc. NOT doing simply what you feel like doing or what is driven by fear, i.e. "I want to shoot up,” OR “I want to eat desert till I explode.” OR “I want to punch you in the face …" (The difference between being true and being selfish).

AT 100% (going the distance, NOT close, at 98%, almost, halfheartedly, taking going through the motions, etc. a stab at it hitting the mark)

ASK You must make known, especially to yourself and very often to others, what it is that your truest self wants to express. If we can often be unclear on our truth, we cannot ever assume or expect that other people will be able to simply know it. Don't assume they can read our minds and deliver to us on a silver tray what is true for us, whether it be as simple as breakfast in bed on our birthday, or as complicated as changing a dynamic within a relationship. So, it follows that if there are other people involved in some way (even if they are merely the preparer of the breakfast tray,) we must tell them what it is that we want. And we must do so all the way.

FOR WHAT IS TRUE (For the highest good - the highest self) We must become clear on our truth in order to ask for it. Often, there are so many conflicting "voices” in our heads that obscure our internal view of what is true for us. Early on in Cedu Foundation I discovered that by asking myself 100 times a day or so, “Right now, what do I really want to do?” I found that there was a place where my

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 138 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo eyes would look down and to the left, where I would most often find my truth. Of course if you are familiar with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) you understand that everyone will have a different location for where their eyes will look in order to know what the truth is for them.

When this doesn’t work for me, I pull two chairs out facing each other, and let the voices in my head “duke it out” and say everything they need to. The years have taught me to trust that this process will always bring me a resolution and clarity on knowing what is true. Using this innovation based on Gestalt Therapy, we never have to make a bad decision again!

AT 100% You must ask at 100%. Unreasonably – all the way. Asking at 100% means pushing through the fear that restrains us – the fear of asking for a slice of melon, or for a 10% raise, or for the expressions and types of love that we want. We go the distance, instead of going through the motions, and we aim to hit the mark instead of just aiming in the general direction of the mark... hoping that our arrow will get close. We will NOT hit the mark by not asking, by holding back, by withdrawing, or swallowing, or giving up, etc. We will never hit the mark by conning, manipulating, pressuring, or expecting. We may get what we want through these behaviors, but we will not be satisfied because these behaviors are not supportive of the dream, or true to higher self. Conning or manipulating is NOT asking @ 100%. It takes more courage than this to risk a “No.” It takes more courage to be vulnerable enough to truly ask and risk a “No.” In our asking at 100%, we are not acting like there is only one right answer! Do others feel the room, the space, and the permission to say No? If not, you are conning or manipulating and they may feel pressure. If they do, you have asked at 100%, and even a “No” answer can move you towards your dream, in unknown ways. When you ask at 100%, your “ask” is not what others want or expect, what you believe you ought to do or should want, what's right to want, what's obligated, or your duty, etc. It is not doing simply what you feel like doing or what is driven by fear, i.e. "I want to shoot up,” OR “I want to eat desert till I explode,” OR “I want to punch you in the face …" (The difference between being true and being selfish). It is not just getting close, at 98%, almost, halfheartedly, or taking a stab at it. Also, It is not enough to say "I would like breakfast in bed on my birthday" if what you really want is bacon and two eggs over easy with a side of honeydew melon and a small coffee and orange juice. If any detail of your genuine truth (what you really want) is left to speculation, you have not asked at 100%. If you get everything on your dream breakfast list except your melon because you didn't ask for it, and that was truly a part of your birthday breakfast dream, you did not ask at 100%. (Important to note: if you asked for the melon, and the grocery store was out of it, for example, you will still feel satisfied, because you did ask at 100%.) A dream of breakfast might seem a bit

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 139 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo simplistic, but remember that the small everyday things are as much the building blocks of our loftier goals and expectations. They are the only things that can contribute to a satisfied state of being in the present, in the Now. In every moment are the details of your dream. Ask for them at 100%. Asking at 100% is the expression of truth, genuine love, and desire.

Journal Exercise: Written Preparation for the Upcoming Visualization

Writing a list of items for this visualization will prepare you ahead and create a deeper impact for the visualization. • List 5 or more of the people that mean the most to you • With each of these people… • Recall situations which represent a LITTLE risk in Asking for what is true @ 100%. • Recall situations which represents a BIG risk in Asking for what is true @ 100%.

Visualization: Identifying Honoring Your Truth & Asking @ 100%

This process is called Creative Visualization.

Throughout human history, cultures around the world have known and tapped into the power of the deepest, most powerful parts of self, through visualization. Visualization has the power to tap the creative unconscious- to allow access to discoveries “aha’s” and often profound revelations. This visualization attempts to clarify the places within where you want to apply this life changing skill.

It works best if you read this visualization into a recording device using a slow, monotone, voice... soft music is optional. Then create a relaxed atmosphere and play it back while you begin by uncrossing your arms and your legs, sitting straight but not stiff and with your feet on the floor. Another option is lying down.

BEGINNING OF VISUALIZATION: Close your eyes and begin by taking some deep breaths. When you are centered, you will be ready to imagine the things I will ask.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 140 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo First, imagine 2 screens in your mind's eye. • Recall 5 or more of the people that mean the most to you. • With each of these people…

Recall in the screen on the Left: • Situations which represent a small risk in asking for what is true @ 100%. PAUSE – 10 – 15 seconds.

Recall in the screen on the Right • Situations which represents a big risk in Asking for what is true @ 100%.

This visualization works best if you read back and forth from the Left to the Right Theater, and back again, on each topic:

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 141 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo IN THE THEATER ON THE LEFT What could your life look like if you honor your truth and asked for what is true @ 100% in the area of:

Love Life, Romance, Sex & Physical Intimacy Children / Family / Parenting Money / Career / Success Communication / Self Expression Assertiveness / Personal Power Recreation / Travel / "Play" Spiritual Discipline (or whatever the equivalent of that is for you) Personal Presence / Self-Confidence / Self Concept Personal Organization: (Time Management - Scheduling / Personal Effectiveness, Efficiency, Household Systems, i.e. Filing) Health / Diet & Exercise

IN THE THEATER ON THE RIGHT What could your life look like if you DO NOT honor your truth and asked for what is true in the area of:

Love Life / Romance / Sex & Physical Intimacy Children / Family / Parenting Money / Career / Success Communication / Self Expression Assertiveness / Personal Power Recreation / Travel / "Play" Spiritual Discipline (or whatever the equivalent of that is for you) Personal Presence / Self-Confidence / Self Concept Personal Organization: (Time Management - Scheduling / Personal Effectiveness, Efficiency / Household Systems, i.e. Filing) Health / Diet & Exercise

END OF VISUALIZATION Through this visualization you have just noticed how life may unfold if you get significantly better at asking at 100% and how life will unfold if you do not learn to ask at 100%. What did you discover in this visualization? It is usually best to find someone to share these discoveries with. Please do share any “A-ha’s” or discoveries as you go

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 142 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo along throughout the book. You may also journal about them in order to anchor in their value.

Asking at 100% means to be wholehearted – to create real intention. If you practice Asking for what is true at 100% every day for 3 - 4 weeks, you will integrate this skill for the rest of your life. Can you allow yourself to make a commitment?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 143 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 10 Points of Power Master Key #3: Asking @ 100%

Satisfaction is a state of being that occurs any time you are doing one simple thing: Asking for what is true at 100%.

The lie in our culture is that you will be happy when you GET what you want. That is absolutely not true. Getting what you want has nothing to do with satisfaction. Sometimes getting what you want is gratifying but gratification is NOT satisfaction.

If you ARE satisfied, then you are asking for what is true at 100%. If you're NOT satisfied, or not happy, or incomplete, or unresolved or unfinished or upset, etc. then you are NOT asking for what you want, or you're asking, but not wholeheartedly... not at 100%. You're only asking halfheartedly.

Being Invincible When you risk wholeheartedly, you are invincible, you cannot be damaged. You can be disappointed or sad, but not damaged. It is only when you risk half- heartedly, (as if you're not "good enough") that you are damageable.

Unreasonable Requests If all you ever ask for is that which is reasonable, then you will always get what you’ve always gotten.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 144 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 11: Master Key # 4 Admitting What's in Your Heart Being “Vulnerable” and “Visible” or “Getting Off of It”

“For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth, so is he for your pruning.” -Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet

People spend their lives missing the love that lies just below the surface because they are unwilling to admit the tenderness that’s in their hearts. From the time we are infants in most cultures, we are trained that being open, real, vulnerable and visible, is dangerous – and that we must protect ourselves at all costs.

So much of the trouble in our relationships comes from Striking out at each other instead of Admitting the vulnerable and visible truth of our hearts.

History is riddled with tragic love stories by most famous authors because people do not tell the truth. I love movies, and so many writers like Shakespeare will reveal the tragedies that come from not admitting or honoring the truth of one’s heart.

A great example is the story of Beethoven taken from actual letters in the movie “Immortal Beloved” that is perhaps one of the most tragic love stories of all time. Beethoven ruined his entire life tormenting the woman of his dreams because of a miscommunication that neither person took the time to clarify by admitting what was in their heart. The letters reveal how, due to a simple miscommunication, they spent their entire lives believing the other didn’t love them. Only at the end of her life, until after he has died, does someone find the letters that clarify what really happened does she realize that he really loved her, and she bursts into tears at the life that was wasted!

They both thought the other was rejecting them, and their inability to admit what was in their hearts cost them the love of a lifetime. The movie "Immortal Beloved" details this star-crossed romance and the tragedy and genius of Ludwig von Beethoven in a tragic but beautiful way.

So many tragedies are the stories of people who did not say what they needed to say before a loved one died, or did not take a stand or fight for what was right. So

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 145 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo many inspirational books or movies are the tale of those, who against all odds, stood up for the truth of their heart, and went the distance to hit the mark in honoring their truth which often ignites the truth for humankind.

There is little that is more powerful than admitting your tender, delicate feelings.

Words have the power to heal.

The power of the heart can melt the toughest people, Move mountains, and create minor miracles of healing in relationships.

The luckiest of you have had the experience when someone MELTED you. For example, perhaps you were in the middle of a big fight. She said this and you said that, and as soon as you were ready to hit her with your best shot so to speak, she plays an unexpected card and takes you completely off guard. And then, right as you were getting ready to really let her have it, she did something truly big, truly honorable, and truly magnificent … like apologizes. She said, "I'm sorry Honey, I didn't mean to hurt you… I just got scared. I'm so sorry … please forgive me." Even though it's the last thing on earth you feel like doing or want to do, you melted. You didn’t even get to vote, you just melted. You had no choice but to say, "I'm sorry too… " What a bummer it is when all the wind gets taken out of your sails and your anger dissipates like a rapidly deflating balloon, especially when you had such a good one ready! You may even have said to yourself with some disappointment, "That’s too bad! I was really going to sock it to her!"

I like to make the analogy that people are like puppy dogs. We all have these little invisible tails. When others do something we love, our tails wag like crazy, and when they turn us off, our tails droop. It turns out that all of our upsets and problems are sourced in the defenses, protections and shields we all put on in order to survive a threatening place. Being authentic, admitting what's in your heart and being "vulnerable" and "visible" is what works. It is what makes people's tail's wag about us, what turns people on about us, what makes us adorable and irresistible, and makes people want to play with us.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 146 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

If you want to be most attractive, if you want lots of people To want to play with you, the easiest, surest way Is to be "vulnerable" and "visible!"

The two most attractive aspects of people are being "visible" and "vulnerable." It is far more effective to open up your heart than to practice all of the other ways we typically try to get people’s attention and affirmation. All the money, stylish clothing, fast cars, and witty jokes in the world will not make people’s tails wag as much as being genuine and open and vulnerable. In the remainder of this chapter, I will show you the reasons why admitting what's in your heart is one of the most powerful Master Keys of life mastery.

Why do people have such a difficult time being vulnerable and authentic? From the chapter about the “Fight or Flight” mind, you may understand that from the time we are born, life has conditioned us to believe that to share your feelings, especially the delicate vulnerable ones, is extremely dangerous. So from the time we are toddlers, we learn to defend, to cover up, to protect, to attack, to blame, to distract in order not to be wounded because admitting what’s in our heart previously resulted in being emotionally slaughtered. We have become pros at being defensive. Defensiveness is our normal mode of operating. It has become automatic. In order to become proficient at admitting what’s in our heart and building intimacy in any of our relationships, it is absolutely essential to overcome being defensive. With your co-workers, your marriage, your children, or anyone else the quality of your relationship is sourced in your ability to not be defensive, and respond to challenges with the profound influence inherent in the delicate truth.

The Great Key to Accelerating Your Growth – Overcoming Defensiveness

In each area of life, if I could take the next five years worth of growth and blessings, and shorten the time it takes you to get there, would you be interested? If I could wave my magic wand and accelerate the pace at which you grow and could show you what blessings that accelerated growth would bring you, would you be interested? If you could continue to grow and learn in your love life, with your money, with your children, what blessings would you realize?

Why does one person grow faster, and one person grow slower? What determines how fast or slow someone learns or grows?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 147 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo I want to teach you what I consider the greatest key to accelerating your growth and the blessings that come with growth, higher ground, and success in every area of your life! I want to teach you how to overcome defensiveness.

This discovery came to me many years ago when I first created The Awakening retreat. At the time, none of us was prepared for what this new retreat would create in terms of the depth of core level healing or empowerment in its participants.

When the retreat was over, I very carefully watched to see what would happen to people with their life and their results. Some people took off like a rocket in their lives, personal developments, and in the results that they created for themselves. And although everyone grew, some grew noticeably more slowly than others. They all made progress and reached higher ground. I saw two women with very much the same issues, the same family patterns, and the same internal makeup grow at such different paces; it made me wonder, "Why did one grow so fast, and one grew less quickly?"

Both women had caretakers as parents and they both learned to gain their attention from creating drama in their life; and both would subconsciously attract and create one negative circumstance after another, including lots of health problems, and a wide array of negative circumstances on a daily basis. They were unaware of how much of a huge payoff there was for enjoying the negative drama.

After the Awakening, I witnessed one woman grow in leaps and bounds while in great measure dropping her need for negative drama. Consequently she began to fulfill her needs for attention and caring through more positive actions. The second woman grew also, and demonstrated an awareness of her need for negative drama. She, in contrast, kept slipping and struggled much more than the first woman to focus on the positive.

It was a puzzle that wouldn't leave me alone. Intuitively I knew that if I could solve this puzzle I was on to something BIG! So I started to investigate why people with the same emotional makeup would react so differently to the same retreat?

After many years and interviews I finally understood the following:

The great key to accelerate your blessings is to overcome defensiveness. The key to how slow or fast someone learns or progresses is defensiveness. The more defensive you are, the slower you grow.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 148 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo How fast or slow you grow is a function of your defensiveness. Slow growth will happen in a highly defensive person, and more rapid growth will happen depending upon how non-defensive you can be.

We can see this in many examples of those in the public eye who were either defensive and thus elicited being nearly crucified, or those that owned up and were forgiven and exonerated.

Pete Rose was the example of someone who couldn't own up to what they did even though the evidence was compelling. The court of public opinion was strongly against him, I believe, because people are offended when they feel that the person who is the accused tries to pull the wool over our eyes. It's as if they (the accused) are saying, "You're too stupid to catch me!" As a result of Pete not owning up to his gambling on baseball, he has been vilified in the press and on the streets. Eventually he did admit he gambled, but it was only when he was trying to peddle his autobiography and make a bunch of money. By then it was too little too late, and his admission was seen as disingenuous.

An example of someone who owned up to his or her mistake and was forgiven by the public is Hugh Grant. Even though he was in relationship with one of the most beautiful women in the world, Elizabeth Hurley, he was busted by undercover cops in L.A. for soliciting oral sex with a prostitute. He was caught red handed and was the butt of many jokes and ridicule. Most people would go into seclusion and hope that the heat blows over. Instead, Hugh did the talk show circuit and subjected himself to interrogations and judgment. He handled it all with a sense of humor and a "what I moron I turned out to be" attitude. People loved it, forgave him, and his career continued on its merry way without a hiccup.

Here is the pattern of how a person who grows very slowly learns or grows:

1) They begin walking toward the DREAM.

2) Inevitably, as we all do, they make a MISTAKE or FAIL or MESS UP or …

3) Then they BEAT THEMSELVES UP MERCILESSLY, perhaps as they learned from Mom or Dad, who learned from their Mom or Dad…. (“I can’t believe you did that… what is wrong with you… you are never going to get there… you are such a loser...” etc.) Because they criticize themselves continuously, they fail to notice that they are still OFF TRACK. They are not moving towards their dream. They are eddying out on the edge of the river called Self- criticism. Often they remain here for years at a time.

4) EVENTUALLY, after much heartache, shame, guilt, or depression, they consider getting BACK IN THE GAME…

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 149 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

5) Then, as they move toward their dream with new enthusiasm, they make another MISTAKE or FAIL or MESS UP or … and the cycle repeats itself ad infinitum.

Here is the learning process for a person who grows very quickly:

1) They begin walking toward the DREAM.

2) Inevitably, as we all do, they make a MISTAKE or FAIL or MESS UP ….

3) They then look without defensiveness, eager to OWN THE CORRECTION and learn what they could do next time that would work.

4) Then they QUICKLY GET BACK IN THE GAME!

The key is to drop the defensiveness and own the correction!

Everyone has an internal thermostat that dictates his or her circumstances. For example, everyone has in their physiology what I call a “fat thermostat,” their metabolism. With their metabolism, for example, if their thermostat is set at a hundred and fifty pounds, they can eat more or less and somehow they stay at a hundred and fifty pounds.

Everyone also has an emotional thermostat, which reflects self-esteem And most other emotional thermostats, For example, a person’s abundance or financial thermostat.

No matter how much or little money flows in and out of their life, they always seem to find themselves in precisely the same situation. Quite often if a financial windfall comes, they quickly find a way to lose the extra money with medical bills or such, because their level of having-ness doesn’t match the extra income.

Once I realized that defensiveness was the key, I knew that if I could facilitate people to lower their defensive thermostat even a degree or two, it would greatly increase the rate at which they learn, grow and develop! Our goal here is to eliminate the devastation that defensiveness has on us. We want a new relationship to defensiveness. We want to eliminate defensiveness as much as possible. Learn to turn down your defense thermostat.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 150 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Learning how to admit what’s vulnerable and what’s the truth in your heart Is one of the most powerful ways to accomplish lowering one’s defensive thermostat?

When you apologize, or admit where you are wrong, or are vulnerable in your sharing and visible in your authenticity, by definition, you are not being defensive, you are countering any defensiveness. You have stopped being defensive, you’ve gotten “off of it” and are now “Being” in your heart, your being, your soul.

You can measure the greatness of a person by their willingness to clean up their messes, take ownership, admit their mistakes and say things like, "I'm sorry, please forgive me." This is the power of admitting what's in your heart. It is breathtakingly genuine, expresses both vulnerability and great strength, and will allow you to break through barriers in all areas of your life and find great connections with your higher self and with others. In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be fully seen. We must admit what is in our hearts, which will allow courage, compassion, and connection as a result of authenticity.

Admitting what is in your heart is being willing to let go of who you think you should be and embrace who you are. Admitting what is in your heart is the willingness to say “I love you” first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through nervousness and pain, or the willingness to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. Admitting what is in your heart is the birthplace of joy, love, creativity, and belonging.

Success in NOT a function of how you respond when things go well. Success is a function of how you respond to failure!

If you are a human being, then you are designed to grow, to progress, to succeed. You cannot learn or grow without making mistakes, without making messes, without falling on your face.

The more willing you are to fail, the greater your odds of success.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 151 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Babe Ruth holds the all time record for strikeouts! Abraham Lincoln lost almost every election before he was elected president!

The stronger your self-esteem and confidence, the more willing you are to fail, to make mistakes, to get rejected, and get back in the game and go again.

The less self-esteem or confidence you have, the more you are likely to be dedicated to being comfortable instead of being alive. Most risks are not comfortable – most strategies for success or adventures in true living are not comfortable – they are alive!

Your doubts and fears will tell you that that if you fail, if you make mistakes or get rejected, there is something wrong with you. If you believe these doubts, you live in “something is wrong with me.”

The more alive you become, the more you realize there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and your mistakes; failures and rejections are experienced as stepping stones to success!

You and I will make mistakes. You and I will make lots of messes. Life is not about trying to learn how to not make messes.

Based on our physical bodies and a physical universe, the indisputable truth is that we are mess-making machines. By the time we are even conscious or aware of the fact that we've made a mess, it's often a long way down the road.

There is a silver lining in our messes, as in everything. If it was not for eventually seeing the mess and the commitment to clean it up and to make more effective choices going forward, we begin to see things with improved awareness and view situations with a continually developing creativity. Even in corporate America, where the primary focus is on achievement and progress, there are forward-thinking companies who reward creative teams by giving prizes and points for the most mistakes and failures. Through embracing the complete cycle of the mess from the unwanted or unhelpful, to the improvement and often innovation, these companies discovered that those teams with the highest number of failures also had the most useful creative ideas and the greatest results!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 152 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo We are Mess-making Machines

Admitting what’s in our hearts is in direct opposition to defensiveness. If we never made messes, we wouldn’t need to admit what’s in our hearts and being defensive wouldn’t matter. The trouble is that we are mess-making machines. Being a human in a physical realm, we cannot help but make messes. It's our job to make messes. It’s what we get paid for (metaphorically) – to learn by making messes! Human Beings make messes! Yet the more defensive you are, the poorer you are at learning from your messes or mistakes. Unless you can admit what’s in your heart, admit that you are scared, humiliated or embarrassed or any such emotion, you automatically fall into being defensive; you are emotionally stuck and stupidly repeating the same messes.

Now, let's talk about how to continue your insanity. How many of you would like . . . To hold on tightly to your own dysfunction? To fight dearly for your own insecurity? To have the attitude "It's mine and you can't have it!"? To maintain your own level of failure? To keep your self-esteem in the toilet?

The way to continue your insanity...? Be defensive.

With this next principle – you might want to burn this on your forehead:

When you defend, you “anchor in” the reality of "being bad and wrong". It is in being defensive that you create and maintain the attack, It is in being defensive that you create and maintain the attack, It is in being defensive that you create and maintain the attack.

The more aware of yourself and your patterns that you become, the more you are aware of how many messes you make every day. Since you will discover the value in cleaning up your messes and will not shove them under the carpet, you will find yourself cleaning up more messes the more enlightened you get; and the easier it will be to see and to admit what is in your heart. How do you talk to yourself when you see that you’ve made a mess?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 153 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo If your best friend, Sally, came to you and said, "I really screwed up,” and last night my partner said, “You are a loser . . .” Would you most likely respond with "You know, Sally, I've suspected the same thing myself, but now that your partner says it, I'm pretty sure it's true! You must be a loser!"?

No? You wouldn't respond like that? Of course you wouldn’t. You would most likely never think of responding like that to your best friend. You most likely would not even respond like that to someone you had just met or even a perfect stranger. But guess who you do respond like that to? YOU!

With friends like you… who needs enemies!

The key difference between: The most dysfunctional people on the planet and the most functional people; The unhappiest people on the planet and the happiest people; The most ineffective people on the planet and the most effective people; The most unsuccessful people on the planet and the most successful people, is:

Defensiveness! How they respond to messes.

One of my favorite quotes by Werner Erhard is this:

"When you pretend to be OK, you don't believe you are OK. If you could admit that you are not OK, you would get it that you are OK. You're OK. Get it!" Werner Erhard

How a person responds to failure, mistakes, bad news, disappointments, crises, etc. will determine their functionality, happiness, effectiveness, and success. How does one respond to the negatives in a way that strengthens, builds emotional muscle, and helps us to learn from the situations so we can truly rise to higher ground? This is a question we must answer if we want to avoid having to act out the same pattern to get the same ugly results and to feel the same pain over and over again, year after year.

So how do we?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 154 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

The way to overcome defensiveness is to stop defending. Admit and embrace that you are wrong. Admit that often you are a jerk. Embrace the reality that often you are a jerk. Celebrate that fact that often you are: Incompetent a fool an idiot dysfunctional a brat a dodo head! (After all…You ARE a dodo head!)

The law is – until you embrace the negative, you live with it.

With any negatives, whether it be negative feelings, thoughts or situations, you have a choice. You can either resist them, or move beyond them. The easiest way out is through. Going through it – going with it, so you can move beyond it – instead of resisting and getting stuck with it is what works. All of transformational work or effective empowerment technologies are about learning to embrace the negative, instead of resisting the negative.

Learning to Embrace ‘The Brat’ Within

Within each of us are many internalized characters, most of whom will be boiled down into two key positions. As you may recall from a previous chapter, one of these positions is an internalized parent and one is an internalized child. We discussed the dialogue of the internal parent and child as being the source of all inner conflicts, problems, upsets, etc. For now, suffice it to say that when the internal parent gets critical, the child reacts by doing one of three things:

1. Succumbing (Giving in, going along with, acquiescing, putting up with, selling out) to the parent.

2. Outright Rebellion: "Oh you want to see me lose weight… well watch this! I'll eat the whole box of donuts!"

3. Being paralyzed: As a way to take a stand to NEVER change and say, "Get off my back."

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 155 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo It is this internal "brat" that drives most of our dysfunction, but as long as we try to "get rid of it" or resist it, it gets stronger and more pronounced. Our internal brat acts out stronger and more vehemently.

The only way to make real progress with any of our nonsense, our patterns, Dysfunctions or non-working behaviors is to understand them, befriend them, To recognize their Sweetheart Message (positive intent), And find a way to embrace that part into finding An alternative, healthier way to get what it wants.

Just for fun, try this: Identify the message that your money or love life is saying when you criticize yourself. Have someone speak the message of your critical voice. When they role-play your critical voice, you allow yourself to voice the brat as BIG AS IT IS! Say things like, "You'll never take me alive, coppers … " and "You will never ever get me to leave my job to start this private practice… never ever ever…" etc. Have FUN giving the inner brat permission to voice the rebelliousness. Wave your arms, pound on the table, throw a tantrum! When is the last time you gave yourself permission to throw a tantrum? Not since you decided that the only way to survive was to be a “good boy” or “good girl” and “get with the program!”

Again, by embracing the negative, you allow it to move on. See if you can discover the gift in being the brat, in the brat’s pattern or dysfunction. What is the non- working behavior saying? In other words, what is the Sweetheart Message (the positive intent) within the non-working behavior?

Let's use the non-working behavior of smoking cigarettes as an example. The Sweetheart Message of smoking is saying may be "that I get so nervous around people, I need something to calm me down so I don't feel like a complete fool…"

Typically when people stop criticizing themselves and learn to embrace the parts they have been shoving under the carpet, they can free themselves and go transform the power of these parts to move in a positive direction. By embracing the negative, you allow it to move on. This is why learning to embrace the brat can be so liberating.

We need a new level of perception about all of life's negatives, pain, and battles. A new level of perception will allow and determine a new level of our behavior and thus a new level of our results. In order to rise to a new, more empowering perception, we need to examine how life speaks to us in messages.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 156 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo All of Life Speaks to Us in Messages

Journal Exercise: Messages Every person, every situation, every battle, every joy speaks to us in messages – one sentence, bottom-line messages. Try this: Identify the message coming at you from either your money, or your love life, or an upset. Choose something you feel defensive about because you feel criticized by others or yourself. Lately, your money may be saying to you, “No matter how hard you try, I’m not going show up for you…” or your love life may be saying, “You’re just not being – trying - doing enough…”

This reflection shows, of course, such internal criticisms are fear based and not very accurate; they are the fight and flight mind run amok! These criticisms and the critical parent’s way of attempting to get the internal child to change, to do something different, to grow, but as we all know, when any parent criticizes, it bring succumbing, rebelling or paralysis.

To whatever degree we are subconsciously criticizing our self; to that degree we manifest and attract people who will say these same criticisms in our life. They are the physical manifestation of the subconscious conversation in our own head! There is a way to deal with either the internal criticism or when other people throw verbal garbage at you.

The 10% rule: When They Throw Garbage, Only a Little Bit Sticks!

When someone throws garbage at you, only about 10% sticks. You don’t need to worry about the part that doesn't stick. All you need to focus on is what sticks. When people or you criticize you, if it doesn't make you react defensively Or elicit an emotional charge, and then don't worry. Concern yourself with the part that does trigger an emotional charge, that does get to you.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 157 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Many years ago while I was doing a workshop in Santa Fe, my friend David and I were driving up to a three way stop at a T in the road. We were so engrossed in our conversation that we didn't notice a woman waiting to go at the other stop sign. When she pulled out, we also pulled out at the same time, then noticed her and slammed on our brakes. As she drove past us, she was red in the face, full of anger at us, and yelling obscenities. Because we weren't defensive, David said, "Wow, she thought we were doing that on purpose!" Non-defensively, I replied, "Yeah, little does she know that we're just idiots!" We laughed uproariously, and something grabbed me about this experience.

The lack of defensiveness changed the entire landscape of the moment. There was a sense of enlightenment, a sense of relief, a sense of joy, of laughing at ourselves and the transcendence that laughter and lightness brings. I recognized, even as it was occurring, the profound sense of being unengaged and detached from the turmoil of the physical realm, and immersed in the spiritual realm and beyond the trivial troubles and minutiae of the day. In this case, the turmoil of the physical realm was the irritation at a near fender bender, and immersion in the spiritual realm, was the state of spirit that realized it ultimately didn't matter. This state recognizes that wallowing in the blame/shame game negatives of the “what if”s" or “SHE did”, or “I didn't” will not ultimately serve you, while the complete freedom of knowing you were, for a moment, just simply an idiot, will serve you well.

What is the 10% that sticks? Remember, it's only a TINY bit true. Not like your "“Fight or Flight” mind" wants to convince you of. Your "“Fight or Flight” mind" screams exaggerations because you are too defensive to listen!

Ninety percent is the insult – the ten percent is the part that may be legitimate feedback for correction. The ninety percent is judgment, criticism, and expectation and completely useless to forward movement; in fact it is a true hindrance to any forward movement. The only part worth noting is the legitimate correction. In all relationships, including the one with yourself, criticism is the killer! Empowerment and moving forward comes from loving and truthful coaching and corrections.

When people criticize you, only about 10% is true. 90% is nonsense. Ask yourself, what is the 10% that sticks? Where is it that this could be a little bit true? Where is this criticism a legitimate concern? If you want to stop feeling attacked or defensive, The quickest way out is to identify the 10% that is legitimate, and then let the rest go!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 158 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo If I play the movie back, what is it I wish I had done differently? Identify the correction, the adjustment, the learning, and commit to it, and you are done with this one! The defensiveness dissolves, the upset is over, and you actually arrive at feeling resolved and complete. In order to identify your legitimate corrections, you must admit what’s in your heart! Admitting what’s in your heart is exactly opposite of being defensive.

When someone criticizes you, instead of reacting defensively, Try something that actually dissolves the defensiveness. First, identify the 10% that's legitimate by stating, “The part of what you're saying that could be true,” or “The part of this that is right on the money is . . .” or “valuable for me to hear, is …" Then tell them what that part is.

Applying the 10% Rule: No Defending

For example, if your friend, Julie, said, “How come you're always late, no matter what we schedule?” If you admit what in your heart without being defensive you might respond with, "You know, Julie, let me look at that for a moment. The part of this that is true for me, is that I am quite often late, and it seems that at the present moment, I haven't yet figured out why when I go to leave the house it takes me 10 minutes to just get out the door. I don't know why this happens, but I really need to look at this. I'm so tired of feeling embarrassed about being late.” OR “I'm going to look more closely at what keeps me from leaving on time. “ OR “Perhaps I could leave with more margin that I give myself."

If someone said, “You are always so critical and negative that all I can hear is how ‘bad and wrong’ I am. I can barely even listen to what you're saying to me.” If you admit what in your heart without being defensive you might respond with, "The part of what you're saying that may be right on the money, is that when I get upset, or 'triggered,' I do catch myself being critical, and sometimes I wonder where that came from. I really don't know why I do this sometimes.” OR “I don't really take the time to put the clutch in.” OR "It feels like I'm so upset that if the other person doesn't listen to me, I'm going to explode!"

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 159 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo It’s Even Worse than That!

To ignite the full power of dissolving your defensiveness, You might want to go beyond simply admitting that part of what they're saying Might be true And allow yourself to rise all the way up to embracing Even more than is anticipated. Admit and embrace even more than they are accusing you of.

Admit and embrace what you're afraid is wrong with you... your largest doubts. The more you accept it, express it, and embrace it, the more you discharge and release its hold on you. The less you act it out! Say it with joy and celebration!

For example, if Julie said, “How come you're always late, no matter what we schedule?” If you admit what in your heart, without being defensive, you can take it to the next level by saying the 10% that is true, and then adding, "Julie, you have no idea... it's even worse than that… not only am I late quite often, but sometimes I'm almost unconscious. I was even late to my own wedding! I get so focused on details that I only make half of the flights I schedule! Not only am I irresponsible at times, I'm also very silly and dumb about the way I operate!”

If she said, “You are always so critical and negative, that all I can hear is how ‘bad and wrong’ I am. I can barely even listen to what you're saying to me.” You can take it to the next level by saying the 10% that is true, and then adding to it. "Julie, you have no idea . . . it's even worse than that…not only am I reacting, but I am so careless, without even thinking. I just open my mouth and all this venom seems to come out. Not only do people walk on eggs around me, but I can't trust myself to not bite people's heads off.”

Jung said, "What you resist – persists." This is a law of the universe. Anything you deny or resist gets stuck and grows in intensity. If you want anything to transform, rather than resist it, you need to accept and embrace it. The more you accept it, express it, and embrace it; the more you discharge and release its hold on you. The less you act it out!

Once you are brave enough to stop being defensive and admit what’s in your heart, you are now ready to awaken to how many messes you have created. This is amazingly good news!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 160 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo While in Cedu Foundation, my counselor, Michael, taught me a profound principle. The reason people never change is because they are unwilling to clean up their messes. Until you can take responsibility for the messes you’ve created, you are doomed to repeat them. If you ever want to change anything, you must ‘own it.’ Own how you created it.

Cleaning up your messes can be one of the most enlightening and freeing exercises which anchors in your goodness, ignites your pure intent, expands your self- concept, and enlarges your personal power in order to reach a new levels of performance and accomplishment.

The more we can overcome defensiveness, the more we can admit the bare bones truth about what is in our hearts. The more we can admit what is in our hearts, the easier it will become to clean up our messes, and to reduce the number of them that we make. If we can embrace our own messiness, our own wrongness, idiocy, incompetence, etc., we will be free to experience joy even in the middle of our own metaphorical spilled milk.

How to clean up the Messes

How many of your friends or family are human beings? (I've heard that aliens really like these kinds of books, and you've probably wondered if your uncle is an alien.)

If you are human, you are a "mess-making" machine, so until you have a Simple way to clean up your messes, you walk around unnecessarily carrying The unconscious weight of an amazing amount of hidden shame and guilt.

I want to introduce you to a powerful new skill that can change your life. It’s the skill of cleaning up your messes. It is one of the most powerful skills used to admit what's in your heart. You will not only eliminate the subconscious shame and guilt; but will transform your self-concept with regards to mistakes and messes. It is such a different world on the day you wake up and realize that you can screw up in huge ways, and actually not feel "Bad" or "Wrong" about it.

Don’t just practice this exercise of cleaning up your messes a couple of times, become a master at it. Demonstrate it until it is an effortless part of life, and your life will “sing and dance.” I promise you that if you practice this skill of cleaning up messes until you can actually use it in real life situations, you will watch yourself not only experience a new level of peace; you will expand your self-concept, and the blessing will be obvious!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 161 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Success is simply learning how to sweep the floor! Learn how to clean up your messes. Clean up all your financial messes is also a guaranteed way to increase your Income, Especially if you're in a private practice, or own Your own business, or do something that influences your income.

A business consultant friend of mine who knows this principle of increasing your income by cleaning up your messes had a client who owned an auto repair shop. The client was complaining that this was usually their busy season, yet business was surprisingly slow. My friend said, “OK. Have someone gather all the receipts from the last 2 months and spread them all over a large table." When this was done, he said, "Now, look at the receipts and tell me who you screwed over." The client defensively said, "We don't screw people over."

The consultant gently worked with him until he could overcome being defensive and finally he admitted that indeed there had been someone. "Well, maybe we overcharged this one person, who didn't actually need this extra part, but we figured he wouldn't know the difference." "Good," my friend said. "What do you have to do to clean it up and make it right?" Once they made the commitment to clean it up by offering the person some special services to make up for their mistake, their business picked up overnight.

This sounds like magic, but when you understand that:

Everything is energy, and when you make messes you block your own Energy and blessings from flowing to you…

It makes perfect sense.

Below are the four steps to clean up any mess that you make. When you say these four things to a person you have made a mess with, you notice the other person ‘melts’ because their pain (like all pain) is only asking for an adjustment, a correction. Once the correction is made the pain can be resolved and disappears.

5 Steps to Clean Up “The Mess”

Consider the situation from the other side of the fence. Think of a situation where someone has made a mess with you, a situation I like to call “dumping in the

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 162 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo soup.” You may notice that when someone "dumps us in the soup," that if they say these four things we can forgive them and feel resolved. This means that these are the exact steps we need to take when we need to clean up our own messes with others.

Go the person you made a mess with and say:

1. "I want you to know that I know I made a mess (screwed up, blew it, dumped you in the soup, etc.) and I want to clean up my mess with you." If it is appropriate to apologize, this is an excellent time to hear or say, "I'm sorry." I caution you with apologies – Do not do this unless it's sincere and authentic. We have all heard and felt the sting of an insincere apology and it does nothing to help the situation, in fact, it only fuels the fire of the upset.

2. “What I did that didn't work is...” ( example: I got scared, and I lied about . . .)

3. “What I would do differently (If I could turn the movie back) is …"

4. "What I intend to do differently from now on (the correction) is …” (example: When I get scared, instead of lying, I'll ask if it's OK to be honest, even though you may not like my response...)

A powerful way to make this process even more meaningful would be to add this fifth, optional question.

1. "If you could have me say sincerely anything at all, what would be the best thing you can imagine me saying to you so you can feel that I'm willing to clean up the mess, and feel very resolved about this?" This opens up the space for both of you to make powerful requests, like "I want us to get closer by spending more time together…"

What if the mess is with yourself? How would you clean that up? Like, you get upset by something and eat a whole gallon of ice cream when you are on a diet…? You simply put an empty chair in front of you and do the exact same process with yourself! I would also recommend finding someone who can facilitate an Empowerment Dialogue Process with you to come to a resolve about your internal conflict with your diet.

As many teachers have indicated, there are wonderful phrases that when said sincerely and by admitting what's in our heart, automatically put us into our soul, our being, and into the Theater of Love and Play! According to Werner Erhard some of these include, "Goodbye” – “I love you” – “Forgive me” and “Thank You."

Ho’opononpono – “Self Identity” (The Ancient Hawaiian Art of Healing)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 163 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Joe Vitale author of the best seller “Zero Limits,” one of the teachers interviewed for the popular video "The Secret," learned from the Hawaiian shaman / psychiatrist, Dr. Ihalia Hew Len, the ancient Hawaiian medicine called "Ho'onopono."

The patients in hospital for the criminally insane were becoming so much trouble that the hospital was losing good staff. As a last resort, they called in Dr. Len to work with the patients. When they asked him what he needed, he replied that all he would require was a small office and the client files. When they asked him when he wanted to see the clients, he told them “I won't need to see the clients." Although they dropped their jaws, in wonder, they agreed.

Dr. Len’s methodology was that he took responsibility for those that had wounded them. Concentrating on one patient at a time, he would look at the photos of the clients in the files, he would focus on each and say to them four very powerful phrases, “I'm sorry - Please forgive me - thank you - I love you.”

Not long afterwards, some of the clients began to get so much better that they were eligible for discharge from the facility. Soon more followed. Eventually and astonishingly, all of the clients were so improved they could be discharged and the ward was closed! This incredible happenstance lead Joe to co-author with Dr. Len, the best seller, "Zero Limits,” in which he describes a small part of this ancient Hawaiian system for healing. This has profound implications for our power to affect each other through the use of such powerful and potent words.

One of the most powerful of the four phrases is "Please forgive me." Until you can sincerely say, “Please forgive me,” you are holding on to the subconscious guilt and shame that limit your self-concept. You subconsciously believe you are “bad” and “wrong.” Forgiveness sets you free and allows you to return to the core level knowing that you are “good.” This is the source of personal power, confidence, and the ability to perform at your potential and realize your dreams.

This may be why most religions hold repentance as the key component to spirituality.

When you really cross that line into your heart and are able to express it genuinely To another person (or to yourself,) you realize what a privilege it is To get the opportunity to clean up your own part of any messes that you’ve created. What a privilege it is to be able to say, "Forgive me my idiocies…"

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 164 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The ‘Forgive Me’ Process: The Joy of Being “Wrong”

The following are profound principles. The reason for experiential workshops is so that people have a chance to have a deeply profound experience of such profound principles.

Perhaps mankind’s greatest single historical leap is from education to experiential learning. It is a leap from learning as a concept, to learning as an experience. This leap makes real the greatest context of all time. As Werner Erhard says, “the greatest context of all time is bigger context than the end of slavery, bigger than education, than flight, than human rights. It makes available to us the ability to make real a shift from a ‘You or Me’ world to a ‘You and Me’ world.” This is not a new concept, many people teach it like many other wonderful principles. The greatest single leap for mankind is not new principles – we've already received the greatest principles from our greatest teachers. “Love thy neighbor” is a great principle. The greatest leap of all time is the power to make those principles real, to experience unconditional love, to practice unconditional love, to live and create a world of unconditional love.

Years ago, the founder of Gestalt Therapy, Fritz Perls, discovered that when you put two chairs facing each other and talk to the various parts of yourself out loud, that speaking out loud brings things from subconscious to conscious. So people would have all kinds of “ahas” and discoveries that were life changing.

So when you say a phrase as powerful as “Please forgive me,” even if you are role-playing it, or even role-playing with someone who’s passed away, it is very powerful because it ignites your experience. It brings deep and profound life-changing discoveries and “ahas” to your awareness.

The exercises below are meant to experientially anchor in these concepts. They are important to actually participate in order to move your understanding of this concept from a surface level comprehension, to a deep and ingrained knowledge. And the more often, the better.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 165 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Exercise- I Regret Get together with your significant other or Family members. Take turns going back and forth and owning up to your part of whatever you regret. List all of the non-working behaviors that you display when you get your emotional buttons pushed and get upset. (For example – Get quiet, go away, slam doors, verbally attack, find fault, blame them, shame them, dump guilt, etc.) Say, “I regret…” and fill in the blank, going back and forth for a minimum of 15 – 20 minutes.

We started off with regrets because they are easier to access and not as vulnerable as “forgive me…”but the lessons are the same. Now we can turn the juice up and let you demonstrate a higher level of courage.

Exercise- Please Forgive Me Find someone to role-play and have your partner be someone in your life, someone to whom you need to say "Please forgive me." Pick a card – any card. You have made messes with everyone in your life! (You can also role-play this with people who are not present or who have passed away) After you ask them to forgive you tell your partner what you would most like them to say to you.

It’s important that instead of telling them what to say, you actually show them exactly how to say it. This is easily done by saying your own first name first. For example, you would tell your partner whom he or she is representing. For example, you would say, “You are my brother who lives in Denver. I want to say to you, “Dave, please forgive me for not talking to you for so many years. When I got my feelings hurt, I just closed the door and took my marbles and went home.” When you’re done, you can say to your partner what you’d like to hear from your brother. “I’d like to hear you say, “Mike, I forgive you, and I’m so glad that you’re cleaning this up with me because the truth is that I miss you, and I want you to be able to enjoy your nieces and nephews and watch them grow up. You are still my little brother.”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 166 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Pitfalls to Watch Out For:

Pitfall #1: When you ask for forgiveness, it does not mean that the other person did not 'screw up' or do horrible things to you that caused you pain and you resent. I know they did terrible things to you. But in this moment, this exercise is simply about your freedom, your enlightenment, your cleaning the slate for you, your cleaning up your end of things the way you would really like them to clean up things with you. Focus on you – not on them. Again, remember that Pitfall # 1 clarifies that this exercise is NOT about what they did to you. It’s about what you did to them.

Pitfall #2: Don't start with or get stuck on the big serious 500 lbs. such as “My father sexually abused me…” If you can't let go of something, don't waste your time being stuck, do someone in your life who is easier, a smaller version, such as, “My mom neglected me…”

Pitfall #3: Remember: Don't talk about it. Do it! Do the exercise, nothing else! Support each other in not dancing around it, but actually really doing it!

A warrior-hunter knows that his death is waiting, and the very act he is performing now may well be his last battle on earth. He calls it a battle because it is a struggle. Most people move from act to act without any struggle or thought. A warrior-hunter, on the contrary, assesses every act; and since he has intimate knowledge of his death, he proceeds judiciously, as if every act were his last battle. Only a fool would fail to notice advantage a warrior-hunter has over his fellow men. A warrior-hunter gives his last battle its due respect. It's only natural that his last act on earth should be the best of himself. It's pleasurable that way. It dulls the edge of his fright. Carlos Castaneda

Exercise – Phone Calls to Family Here is your challenge! I'm going to put forward a real opportunity for you. If you are willing to take it, you will reap huge benefits, emotionally and spiritually. This may be a stretch. But even a rubber band, if stretched enough, cannot just go back to where it was! The question is how good can you stand it? Who would you be willing to commit to actually having these conversations with? Write down their names and commit to a date when you’re willing to have completed these conversations. Commit! Share your commitment with someone you trust to hold you accountable.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 167 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Below, I want to share the following story from my own journey to emphasize how I came to realize the urgency of this topic. Nothing can bring you closer to the realization that the time is now to express what is in your heart than thinking you may be running out of time.

“A warrior must learn to make every act count, since he is going to be here in this world for only a short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it.” Carlos Castaneda

My Quest: Dancing with Death

In my Awakening Retreats we finish the heavenly retreat with a Farewell process where people imagine that they have one year left to live. We count down through 6 months, then 3 months, etc. examining what they would do differently with their life if life and time were precious. What would they do differently with their fears, with holding back, with expressing themselves to those they love, with their dreams?

When they countdown to their last week, they visualize their loved ones coming to say goodbye, one at a time. We take them through a guided visualization where they have a very specific conversation with each loved one, in order to let go of anything they’ve used to keep distance between them, to remember the best of their memories together, to say what they want for each one when they’re gone, etc. Because of the power our own death has on us, people’s eyes are opened at an unprecedented level. Suddenly they recognize that there is no time for holding back. Now they readily admit what’s in their hearts, because deep down, they’ve wanted to their whole life.

We use special effects to simulate them going into the light when they die, and the experiences people report are nothing short of miraculous. My personal favorite part is when it’s over, and people feel like they have another chance to live their lives fully, I ask people to share by standing up and making a declaration about how they intend to live. I love witnessing the impact the process has on them, such as when fathers who have children in the retreat stand up and declare that for the rest of their lives, they will know every time he sees them, how much he loves them!

This profound farewell experience came out of my own dance with death when I was 21 years old and visiting Hawaii. My friend, George, and his girlfriend, Cathy, and I had gone to a famous beach on Oahu called the Pipeline where surfers go to catch the 20 – 30 foot waves. The beach was empty and the three of us didn’t realize that the sign in the sand with a big red dot on the beach meant riptide – no swimming.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 168 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The big waves in the distance were much larger than usual and hundreds of yards long. We loved it that the larger waves were off in the distance, and so George and I decided to body surf the smaller waves closer to shore. Because I had been standing up catching waves, I didn’t feel nervous when it appeared the larger waves were coming closer. Suddenly they were upon me, and I knew I had to dive as deep as possible to avoid getting crushed. So I dove as deep as possible, and when the wave crashed, my body got tossed around like a wet rag in a hurricane. Then I would surface for air, take a deep breath, and the next wave was upon me, so I would have to dive deep again. After three or four of these monstrous waves, I knew I couldn’t keep this up, but just as quickly as it started, it was over. I was relieved until if occurred to me, that perhaps I was beyond the waves!

With great trepidation I slowly turned around and my heart sank. The palm trees on the beach looked like toothpicks and Cathy on the beach looked smaller than the tip of my little finger.

With determination I took about 20 good hard strokes and looked up again, and was now even further out than when I started. I imagined my own drowning and death. I thought, “But I just got my life back. I’m ready to really start living. You can’t take it away now. I’m ready to overcome my fears, and express myself, and to teach and lead seminars, and influence thousands of people and write my book and…”

I looked around and saw that George had been taken out with me, and I could only see his head bobbing up and down periodically. With no apparent options, we treaded water for a long time, but I could tell we were tiring and didn’t have much time left.

Suddenly a lifeguard carrying a foam belt appeared in the water, swimming towards us and he literally looked like an angel to me. Since George appeared more exhausted, he gave George the belt.

I thanked him profusely for coming to save us, and he told me, “The helicopter is on its way, and we don’t want to try to go through these waves when they’re this big. I had to last week, and we almost lost someone.”

So we waited and waited, continuing to tread water.

After another 20 minutes or so he said, “Well, it looks like the helicopter got held up, so we’re going to have to go back through the waves.”

I reacted instantly and reminded him, “But you said we can’t go through the waves because we might drown!”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 169 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo “Well my legs are wearing out, and I need to have some strength left in them in case you get in trouble, so we need to go through the waves.”

As we got closer to the back of the waves, we could feel them lift us up like a rapid elevator. On the third lift, I knew that this next one was it- we were about to go over a crushing 30 ft. drop.

Then we saw a helicopter fly over the horizon and the lifeguard shouted, “Swim back, hurry.” I was almost taken over by that last wave, but managed somehow to swim back beyond the wave.

The helicopter lowered a cable with a foam belt attached and picked up George first, and then me and the lifeguard. When the helicopter put me on the beach, I had no legs left, and I crumpled like a sack of potatoes. Cathy was ecstatic to see we were still alive.

When we all made it back to the apartment, I was in a stupor. This experience affected me so completely that I spent the next three days looking out over my balcony, reviewing my life. It seems impossible to put into words what I experienced.

I thought about what my family would go through if I died. I thought about all the things I hadn’t said to each of them, how I hadn’t admitted what’s truly in my heart. I thought about how holding back is pointless when time is precious. I thought about how much I had taken life for granted, as if it would always be there, and how much time I had wasted. I felt something deep in my soul that goes beyond motivation, to “seize the day.” Now I was committed to live fully, to go the distance and hit the mark in my life, and reach for my dreams.

Death is our eternal companion. It is always to our left, an arm’s length behind us. Death is the only wise adviser that a warrior has. Whenever he feels that everything is going wrong and he’s about to be annihilated, he can turn to his death and ask if that is so. His death will tell him that he is wrong, that nothing really matters outside its touch. His death will tell him, ‘I haven’t touched you yet.’ -Carlos Castaneda

Years later, while reading the Carlos Castaneda books, I realized the truth of what his teacher Don Juan was trying to say about using your death as an advisor. Most people read those chapters as if his description of death is a metaphor, but on that day I felt that death was an actual being who had touched me as a reminder to live as if time is precious. If you ever get the privilege of being at the deathbed of your loved ones, it may pierce your heart how essential it is to admit what’s in your heart while they are with you.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 170 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

The powerful, life-changing skills that we have discussed in this chapter are key and critical components to the Master Key of Admitting What is in your Heart. We have discussed skills like being vulnerable and visible and “getting off it". We have discussed overcoming defensiveness by owning the correction without self-beat up, and getting back in the game, embracing the ‘brat’ within, responding to criticism by owning the 10% that is legitimate, admitting that “it’s even worse than that." We have learned the true joy of cleaning up your messes, and finally about the healing power of asking for forgiveness.

It should be obvious that admitting what’s in your heart is not only a powerful life-changing Master Key, but like all the other Master Keys, a never-ending lesson.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 171 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Points of Power Chapter 11: Master Key # 4 - Admitting What's in Your Heart Being “Vulnerable” and “Visible” or “Getting Off it”

So much of the trouble in our relationships comes from striking out at each other instead of admitting the vulnerable and visible truth of our hearts.

Words have the power to heal. The power of the heart can melt the toughest people, move mountains and create minor miracles of healing in relationships.

If you want to be most attractive, if you want lots of people to want to play with you, the easiest, surest way is to be “vulnerable" and “visible!"

The Great Key to Accelerate Your Growth & Blessings The great key to accelerate your blessings is to overcome defensiveness. The key to how slow or fast someone learns or progresses is defensiveness. The more defensive you are, the slower you grow.

Everyone also has emotional thermostats like an abundance or financial thermostat. These reflect their current self-esteem or self-concept.

Learning how to admit what’s vulnerable; what’s the truth in your heart, is one of the most powerful ways to accomplish lowering one’s defensive thermostat.

Success is not a question of how you respond when things go well … Success is a function of how you respond to failure.

You and I will make mistakes. You and I will make lots of messes. We are mess- making machines! Life is NOT about trying to learn how to NOT make messes.

When you defend, you “anchor in” the reality of "being bad and wrong". It is in being defensive that you create, and maintain the attack,

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 172 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo The way to overcome defensiveness is to stop defending. Admit and embrace that you are wrong. Admit that you are a jerk. Embrace the reality that you are a jerk. Celebrate that fact that you are an incompetent a fool an idiot dysfunctional a dodo head! (You ARE a dodo head!)

Learning to Embrace ‘The Brat’ Within The only way to make real progress with any of our nonsense, our patterns, dysfunctions or non-working behaviors, is to understand them. We must befriend them, recognize their ultimate sweetheart message (positive intent,) and find a way to embrace that part into finding an alternative, healthier way to get what it wants.

The 10% rule: When someone throws garbage at you, only about 10% sticks. You don't need to worry about the part that doesn't stick. All you need to focus on is what sticks. When people criticize you, if it doesn't make you defensive, or elicit an emotional charge, then don't worry. Concern yourself with the part that does trigger an emotional charge; that does get to you.

What is the 10% that sticks? Remember, it's only a TINY bit true. Not like your “Fight or Flight” mind believes. Your “Fight or Flight” mind screams exaggerations because you are too defensive to listen!

When people criticize you, only about 10% is true. 90% is nonsense. What is the 10% that sticks? Where is it that this could be a little bit true? Where is this criticism a legitimate concern? If you want to stop feeling attacked or defensive, the quickest way out is to identify the 10% that is legitimate, and then let the rest go!

Applying the 10% Rule: No Defending When someone criticizes you, instead of reacting defensively, try something that actually dissolved the defensiveness. First, identify the 10% that's legitimate by stating, “The part of what you're saying that could be true...,” or “The part of this that is right on the money is . . .” or “valuable for me to hear is …" Then tell them what that part is.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 173 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo It’s Even Worse than that! To ignite the full power of dissolving your defensiveness, you might want to go beyond simply admitting that part of what they're saying might be true and allow yourself to rise all the way up to embracing even more than is anticipated. Admit and embrace even more than they are accusing you of.

How to clean up the Messes If you are human, you are a "mess-making" machines, so until you have a simple way to clean up your messes, you walk around unnecessarily carrying the unconscious weight of an amazing amount of hidden shame and guilt.

Success is simply learning how to sweep the floor! Learn how to clean up your messes. Clean up all your financial messes is also a guaranteed way to increase your income, especially if you're in a private practice, or own your own business or do something that influences your income.

Everything is energy, and when you make messes you block your own energy and blessings from flowing to you,

Forgive Me Process As many teachers have indicated, there are wonderful phrases that when said sincerely, by admitting what's in our heart, they automatically put us into our soul, our being, into the theater of love and play! Some of these include, "Goodbye - I love you - Forgive me and Thank You." One of the most powerful phrases is "Please forgive me."

When you really cross that line into your heart, you realize what a privilege it is to get the opportunity to clean up your own part of any messes that you've created. What a privilege it is to be able to say, "Forgive me my idiocies…"

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 174 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 12: Master Key #5 Intention and the Intent to Empower (Establish a Coaching Relationship)

"Everything in your life is so because you say it is so." Werner Erhard

While in college I witnessed a small Tai Chi Master demonstrate that when he got centered, four very large men could not lift him off the ground. None of us could believe our eyes as these very large men struggled and strained, but couldn't lift him. How did he do that? Kevin Trudeau mentions such miraculous story of martial artists breaking a wooden arrow with a metal tip, pointed at the soft part of the throat in half, or masters putting out a candle with a punch 18 inches away from the candle and on and on. Ultimately what martial artists call using their life force or Chi is the physical aspect of what is called the power of intention. Confucius, Buddha, Lao Tsu, Mohammed, Jesus, ancient teachers have taught compassion and love as the central tenet of their teachings. In recent times, Ghandi and Martin Luther King are perhaps the best examples of the power of influencing their opponent, not by making them wrong or using violence, but by showing them the understanding of their errors through non-violence and eliciting compassion. In life you are either acting from love or from fear. When you act from fear you strike out, you judge, you punish, you attack, you put down etc. When you act from love, you embrace, forgive, acknowledge, understand and express compassion. Acting from love, whether with others or ourselves is the intent to empower – to encourage, to support, to acknowledge and ignite their or our gifts and talents.

When you are not happy, it is because you are not living in the dream. Your pain is asking for a correction, and you will learn the way to make your corrections is ultimately through the intent to empower.

This chapter will show you how by using the power of intention and by intending to empower yourself and others, you can make the most vital corrections to catapult you to your dreams. In relationships this will manifest by establishing a revolutionary relationship; a coaching relationship – one where instead of the usual fighting, you literally coach each other on how to say what you are trying to say, but in a way that speaks to open the “Secret Combination Lock of the Heart.”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 175 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Earlier I said you will learn the way to make your corrections is ultimately through the intent to empower. The following principles will show you that the most powerful way to transform anything is through the intent to empower. Whether you want to transform a bad habit like smoking, or transform someone who’s verbally going for your jugular, and turn the verbal ‘monster’ into a verbal ‘teddy bear’ within minutes, it happens by the intent to empower. Later I will discuss how the intent to empower is used to create an unprecedented relationship; a coaching relationship, which can catapult your relationships into another stratosphere. When you understand the ability of the intent to empower to transform either your negative habits or to transform others, you will then recognize that this means, very simply, to be compassionate on others and yourself. Then you will know that self- compassion is the great key to transforming yourself or others. As we previously discussed our weaknesses are strengths in disguise! This simple idea has profound implications for the way that we approach our self and our empowerment process. When we talk about transformation of ourselves, it is very natural to think of self transformation and even of empowerment as something that we need to do. Steps that we need to painstakingly take that will fix something that is inherently wrong with us. Now we have found , that not only do we waste our energy in 'trying' to change ourselves, by pushing or disciplining ourselves to do something different, but that these methods are ultimately self-defeating. As described earlier when the critical parent is cracking the whip, eventually the rebellious child within outright rebels and does whatever we were trying to change even worse than ever.

The Power of Intention

Intention is synonymous with energy, synonymous with personal power, synonymous with self-esteem, synonymous with confidence, synonymous with integrity, synonymous with what martial artists call Chi.

Intention is the life force that is the essence of all beings and all life. It is your true self, the heart of the human spirit.

The moment you set an intention your brain cells begin to fire. Energy begins to flow. You are making an difference just by thinking or visualizing. Imagine the possibilities if you are consciously aware of this, and steer your actions accordingly.

What is "Pure Intent?"

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 176 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo What sources our greatest leverage in accomplishment and the scope of our legacy, our higher purpose, the context for our daily lives?

Pure intent is an intention without fear or doubt. It starts with positive intentions that are “pure” in nature, that speak and act from the highest good for all. Pure intent is where your power lies - your ability to accomplish - you're ability to influence. It is where your dreams live. It is the source of your integrity -- The source of your willingness to keep your word, to keep your agreements – which is the great key to making your business flourish.

Ultimately it will be you that decides if your intentions are “pure” and of course from time to time, you will fool yourself. At first just asking the question “Is my intent pure?” can reveal some eye opening awareness of your own motives. Eventually the process becomes clearer and clearer, and you know very quickly whether or not your intent is “pure.” Pure intent is the source of all your results - How do you know what you truly intended? You know by the results, by how it turned out! You may consciously say, “I want to fall in love, but when we look at how your actions, we may find you are more committed to the fear of rejection than the goal of finding love.” Pure intent is the source of your ability to enroll people into your ideas, your projects, your products and services, to enroll them into wanting to play with you, to enroll them into you! It is the source of your highest ability to communicate - to get through to others - in the most potent and powerful ways.

Intention is magic lamp that has the power to bring you all you want by setting your intent – and when it is a true intent it will be so.

You can accomplish more in 15 minutes of setting a true intent, than in a year’s worth of doing.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 177 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

The most powerful way to transform anything is the intent to empower. Whether you want to transform a bad habit like smoking, or transform someone who’s verbally going for your jugular, and turn the verbal ‘monster’ into a verbal ‘teddy bear’ within minutes, it happens by the intent to empower.

My Quest: I learn the Power of Intention

At the “6 Day” retreat in California for transformation put on by the company called “est” (which is now Landmark Education), I was volunteering to be part of the team that was assisting with all of the logistics for the training. The first day, I was assigned to the communications department to help with answering the several phones taking calls from around the country. We were constantly busy. My supervisor asked me "What are you focusing on for your personal goals this week? Have you set your intention for this week?" I said, "Yes, I'm working on being more centered and grounded, instead of the typical scurrying around internally that I do which gets me into trouble reacting instead of responding." Then he asked, “What is your fear?” I looked at the phones and said, “Well I see several phones here. I’m nervous that they could all ring at once, which would not be easy to stay centered and focused.” He pondered a moment, and then replied, "O.K., given your goal, and your fear, what you just told me is that what will happen here at the training is that when you are centered, the calls coming in on the phones will come in one at a time in a way that you can easily handle them. When you get triggered or upset and start to spin out, the calls will match your energy, and they will come in all at once!" I couldn't believe he was suggesting that I had anything at all to do with people calling in from all parts of the country. This did not seem possible. He saw my face, and said with a smile, "Just watch. Notice what happens when you're not centered and when you slow down and get grounded. Just watch." Within several hours, it was noticeable that the calls came in just as he said they would. Within a day, it was painfully obvious that when I was centered, the calls matched my state of being. When I was upset or un-centered, the calls came in all at once, again, matching the flurried state of being I was experiencing. Answering the phones became a phenomenal and profound learning to me about how vital our state of being is in daily life, and how setting our intention determines every outcome of our lives. The Power of Intention is the magic wand of creating anything in any area of life. You can significantly expand your success in money, in career, as a parent, in your confidence and self-concept, in relationships and in every area of life. I want to use one

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 178 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo practical area in order to highlight how the Power of Intention can be used to catapult an area of life, when you use that intention to empower others. Relationships and communication covers a lot of ground, and can be applied in many of the other areas, so I will use this area.

When you understand the ability of the intent to empower to transform either Your negative habits or transform others, you will then recognize that this Means to be compassionate on others and yourself. Then you know that Self-compassion is the great key to transforming yourself or others.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 179 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 12: Power Points Master Key #5: The Intent to Empower

When you are not happy, it is because you are not living in the dream. Your pain is asking for a correction, and you will learn the way to make your corrections is ultimately through the intent to empower.

Intention is the life force that is the essence of all beings and all life. It is your true self, the heart of the human spirit.

What is "Pure Intent?" Pure intent is an intention without fear or doubt. It starts with positive intentions that are “pure” in nature, that speak and act from the highest good for all. Pure intent is where your power lies - your ability to accomplish - you're ability to influence. It is where your dreams live. It is the source of your integrity -- The source of your willingness to keep your word, to keep your agreements - which is the great key to making your business flourish.

Intention is magic lamp that has the power to bring you all you want by setting your intent – and when it is a true intent it will be so.

You can accomplish more in 15 minutes of setting a true intent, than in a year’s worth of doing. The most powerful way to transform anything is the intent to empower. Whether you want to transform a bad habit like smoking, or transform someone who’s verbally going for your jugular, and turn the verbal ‘monster’ into a verbal ‘teddy bear’ within minutes, it happens by the intent to empower.

When you understand the ability of the intent to empower to transform either your negative habits or transform others, you will then recognize that this means to be compassionate on others and yourself. Then you know that self- compassion is the great key to transforming yourself or others.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 180 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 13: Master Key #6 Choosing & Creating

“The law of nature that states everything has a vibration. Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Sound is also a vibration and so are thoughts. Everything that manifests itself in your life is there because it matches the vibration from your thoughts. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics” Albert Einstein

There are innumerable icons of transformation who are now teaching the principle handed down through civilizations, mostly through secret societies, that the most powerful tool you can use to manifest your visions is to experience your vision as intensely and as often as possible. It is no surprise that most people never manifest their dreams or visions. Most people do not know that as long as they hold their dreams and visions as a good idea, in the physical realm, they literally cannot manifest. You must rather hold your dream or vision as a direct experience, and most people don’t have a clue what a direct experience even looks like. But throughout time, history is much the shadow of incredible individuals whose chose in wholeheartedly and created their vision rather than wait for the fears and doubts in their “Fight or Flight” mind to go away. Albert Einstein had many in the scientific community calling him a fraud until some 12 years later they proved his theory of relativity correct. Joan of Arc led armies into battle as a teenager against all odds of even being able to get an audience with the king. Harriet Tubman put her life on the line daily to get slaves to freedom with the underground railroad. Ben Franklin created innumerable inventions, the library system, and the postal system when most people thought such systems were impossible. John Kennedy saved his PT boat crew becoming a war hero and also won a Nobel prize for literature for “Profiles in Courage” and worked a notable presidency despite being in excruciating back pain. No one believed that anyone could liberate the south from prejudice until Martin Luther King met Gandhi and followed his doctrine of non-violent protest. Gandhi liberated a nation through non-violence when many expressed outrage and hatred for him. Jesus endured horrific tortures to bring us the most powerful principle of all time; that of “unconditional love.” All of these figures and many more realized the importance of choosing to create rather than wait for the negative thoughts or feeling to go away. Instead of resisting the negative, or succumbing to their mission, they chose wholeheartedly to dive into their mission, despite all odds. This skill is just as available to each of us to create the results we want in our own lives.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 181 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

In every "right now" human beings live in one of three states.

In every "right now" they are either in a state of resisting, succumbing or choosing. Once you move beyond resisting or succumbing and step into choosing, You can create all possibilities. You cannot create until you move into the state of choosing.

When people do what they do, whether it's taking out the garbage, or paying the bills, dealing with their teenager, or riding a roller coaster, the activity has no inherent meaning or experience.

Activity has no inherent meaning or experience. “Meaning” is a human creation.

A dirty bathroom doesn't sit waiting for a human to come by, saying to itself, "Oh, here comes another human, I'm going to give this human an even more stressful, awful experience than the last one who came to clean me!" No. Human beings create their experience. A person might come along to clean that finds the cleaning experience hideous and disgusting and is traumatized by it. Another will come away from cleaning the same dirty bathroom with a sense of accomplishment and pride in a job well done.

Managing Your State of Being As you will recall we stated earlier that happiness, fulfillment or satisfaction are all states of Being! A state of being is like a light bulb which is either on or off in every right now. So in every right now…right now…right now…you are either in a state called: "Satisfaction" or "Going through the Motions" All of the Master Keys are about learning that you can manage your state of being, and thus determine your results. You can Choose and Create. You are already creating, and we are all much more powerful creators than we think. But most of us, unknowingly, are just creating by default, bringing in and attracting circumstances (many of which are not ideal or wanted at all) based on old ways, patterns, thoughts and emotions. When we realize that we have the power to create what we choose, we can stand in our power and begin living life on the path to our dreams, creating blessings rather than lessons. We can live our life by design.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 182 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

When Life Does NOT Fit Your Pictures

You have the power to make life effortless for yourself under any conditions. Even when things do not go the way you expect, or hope, you can manage your state to make your life effortless. Often life does not fit our pictures. It would fit our pictures to get that job, or have that special person go out with us, but often life does not fit our pictures. He or she doesn't want to go out with us, and we get that rejection letter on that job. How often does life NOT fit your pictures? How often does life not go the way you want it to go? If you are doomed to being upset and dissatisfied every single time something doesn't fit your pictures, then you are a victim of the circumstances. What if it were true that you could get turned down, get rejected, have life not fit your pictures and still be absolutely complete, resolved, satisfied, fulfilled? In life, when something does not fit your pictures there are two possible approaches which will be determined by your response. You will either 1) react out of fear or 2) respond out of love. If you react out of fear you will either resist or succumb - both are unsatisfying and get poor results. The following chart is divided into two boxes. Everything in the first box are reactions or behaviors that comes from Fear (the Theater of Fear). Everything in the second box comes from Love (The Theater of Love). In order to create true satisfaction you must pull the arrow out of your back, go beyond succumbing and truly choose! You must choose in to whatever you were resisting or succumbing to and choose in wholeheartedly. You will recognize yourself and be able to identify your own patterns and actions in certain circumstances as illustrated below.

Resist – Succumb or Choose

THEATER OF FEAR (React out of Fear)

RESIST (Examples)

"No"

"I don't want to …" "You can't make me …" "Later" procrastination "No way, Jose" “When hell freezes over…" "You'll never take me alive, Coppers!" (Two year olds are best at this skill!)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 183 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Succumb

We are taught that, "Bad boys and girls resist, good boys and girls get with the program. Are you good or bad?" The implication is that if you don’t succumb you are “bad and wrong”. Examples of Succumbing are: Going through the motions "O.k., o.k. I'll do it… o.k.” Dragging your feet The lights are on… but nobody's home! Clocking in my time. Giving in, Going along with, putting up with, swallowing.

THEATER OF LOVE (Respond out of Love)

Choose to Resist When it's tough to choose, then “choose in” to resisting. Go with it. The act of choosing will blow out the energy until you can truly choose. Resist out loud, fully, completely, thus dissipating the energy. Say, "I don't want to and nobody can make me …" etc. until the resistance diminishes. Once the resistance is minimal, then it is much easier to choose!

Choose Unpleasant Activities Choose to Play – Challenges as Play Transform from Effort, struggle and burden into effortless! Take something that seems 'awful' and do it in a way that creates "singing and dancing." Say yes to it completely. Dive in wholeheartedly, to imbue it with enthusiasm. Include whatever discomfort is there and dive in anyway.

Resist When you're two years old you are at the height of this ability. You know very clearly how to resist. Picture your favorite two year old pushing out their pouty lip and shouting "No! I don't want to," or "You're not the boss of me" or "I don't wanny NO!" If you resist the negative event, it will pull you off your game, drain your personal power, upset you and drop your performance. You accomplish this through all the ineffective behaviors we have identified many times now and that you are very familiar with: reacting, wimping out, selling out, giving in, going along with it, putting

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 184 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo up with, swallowing, or “ripping their face off”. You will be hurt, resentful, angry, stressed, disappointed, or any plethora of negativity that just simply does not feel good. For example, you may know it will serve your forward movement to go knock on doors for job hunting, or to go out and meet people in your love life, but with all the negative associations we have to rejection, it would be very easy to resist and procrastinate doing what would move us forward.

Succumb Our same, adorable two year old will quickly learn, as we all did that Bad boys and girls resist, and Good boys and girls go along with the program . . . and so she (as we all) learn to succumb, to give in, to go along with it, to acquiesce, to put up with . . . etc. After enough self-beat up, we may actually "force" ourselves to go job hunting or go out and meet people, but if we are "succumbing" to our own internal critical parent, we force ourselves to do the thing but we are NOT wholehearted. We are "going through the motions." The lights are on but nobody is home! And our results will reflect it. In these phases of our life, we get busier than ever working 10 - 12- 14 hours a day with very little results.

OR… we could….

Choose To choose means that regardless of feeling like it or wanting to do the thing or not, you completely choose in. You CHOOSE to do the thing wholeheartedly including all the thoughts and feelings. It's like taking the proverbial arrow out of your back and simply “choosing in” to do whatever will serve, or move you forward. The same negative event can be used by you to strengthen your personal power and strengthen your ability to perform. You accomplish this by: responding, taking a stand, honoring your truth and asking for what you want at 100%. In doing so, you are choosing to create what you want. At 100%. If you learn this one, you mostly learn it by accident. You learn that there are things you don’t feel like doing or don't want to do because they are unpleasant. However, if it is something that would serve you and your goals or dreams to do, you learn that it is possible to not like it, and without succumbing and throwing in the towel, you can actually CHOOSE to do something. You learn that in choosing it, you re-create your entire experience of that activity. Perhaps you didn’t enjoy cleaning your room as a child. Perhaps you still don’t now. But maybe you weren’t allowed to go out to play until your room was clean. Maybe you resisted until you threw in the towel and then grudgingly picked up your things, grumbling about the injustice of it all. But maybe one day, a new friend wanted to play that you were very excited about. And you raced home with the intention to get your room done quickly so that you could meet this new, fun person for a bike ride. And then the cleaning became a game. Step one,

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 185 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo laundry… Step two, garbage… Step three, toys… Quickly, efficiently, putting dirty clothes in the laundry, old papers in the garbage, toys on the shelf. RECORD time! And it looks good! You congratulate yourself, and you have learned to choose. You have re- created your experience. You’ve never had so much fun cleaning your room. You chose because you knew that it would serve you. And you re-created.

Choosing is NOT just making your self do it. In order to CHOOSE you must do it with joy!

The biggest pitfall for many of you is that when we say CHOOSE, what you hear is SUCCUMB. "Oh yeah, I know, just make yourself do the thing, even though you don't want to. Yeah, I understand!" You don’t understand if you think that is choosing. To truly choose something, you've got to: 1) stop being a victim, 2) take the arrow out of your back, 3) include whatever discomfort is there, and 4) say yes to it completely - wholeheartedly. You must take something that seems uncomfortable or awful and do it in a way that creates singing and dancing and playing. Choosing is NOT just making yourself do it. In order to truly choose you must do it with joy! To do that you must both CHOOSE and CREATE! No one ever teaches us that it is the very act of resisting or succumbing that creates the experience of EFFORT, STRUGGLE, BURDEN, STRESS, and STRAIN. Human beings create their experience. And the way to create EFFORT, STRUGGLE, BURDEN, STRESS, and STRAIN is to either RESIST or SUCCUMB.

If you choose wholeheartedly, you take ALL the Effort and Struggle out of it, and now the same activity is…. Effortless!

What do you experience when you resist or choose? When you resist you experience what you don't want - when you choose you switch theaters and experience what you do want!

The Experience of Resist vs. Choose DON'T WANT / WAITING RESIST: Burden Effort Struggle Stress Strain Victim

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 186 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Unwillingness "Going thru the motions"

DO WANT / CREATING CHOOSE: Singing and Dancing Love made Visible Expression 100% Power Creation Living as if your aliveness depends on it.

PLAY

It is the very act of RESISTING or SUCCUMBING that creates the experience of EFFORT, STRUGGLE, BURDEN, STRESS, and STRAIN. It is the act of CHOOSING which removes or dissolves All of the effort, struggle stress and strain from an activity. TO HAVE IT BE EFFORTLESS . . . CHOOSE!

When you resist or succumb, you are in the negative theater - and by design, you must attract negative. When you choose, or use any skill that moves you into the positive theater, you must by law attract the positive. The entire aim of this book is to show you the Seven Master Keys which move you out of your fear - into your love and by doing so become happy and make life work. Sometimes you feel so resistant, that every time you go to choose, it seems impossible to do it without succumbing, and that's no better. When that happens, you can CHOOSE . . . CONCIOUSLY . . . TO RESIST. By allowing yourself to RESIST CONSCIOUSLY, you go with all of your resistance and by matching the energy, you in effect, blow it out. By re-creating or mirroring it, it disappears.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 187 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo My Quest: Reprogramming Dreadful Activities

The following is the story of how I re-programmed my experience of doing my laundry. When I learned these principles, I was excited about the possibilities of transforming activities that I always resisted into effortlessness. I couldn't believe that I could do this with something I dreaded as much as doing my laundry. As a young single man, I lived in an apartment building and in the same way that many people hate taking out the garbage, or paying their bills, I hated doing my laundry. I would wear the same socks twice, but the laundry would pile up until I had nothing to wear. When I learned that I could blow out the energy of resistance by simply choosing to resist out loud, verbally, with vehemence, I wanted to try it to see if it worked. So on Saturday morning when it would be time to do the laundry, I would walk around my living room, stomping my feet and saying, "I'm NOT going to do my laundry, I HATE laundry, I don't have to, and no one is going to make me, you'll never take me alive, Coppers!!!! So there!" I was consciously choosing to resist. You can allow yourself to have a great time resisting. Within a matter of minutes the energy would transform, and I would feel very much less resistant. At some point, I would take a deep breath and something in me was now ready to choose to do the laundry. I couldn't believe it. I was actually choosing in to doing the laundry! Hallelujah! In a few months, I found that instead of waking up with the feeling of "ugggghhhh… laundry…" I would literally wake up with the feeling of how good I would feel when the laundry was done! Eventually doing the laundry became void of meaning, and now it is completely effortless! Consciously choosing to resist takes us to a state of choosing in wholeheartedly! The best way to re-program something you resist and turn a “big deal” into “no big deal” is to consciously choose to resist every day for 30 days. Science has proven that you can create new neuro-pathways in the brain within 21 days of consistent daily practice - I say 30 for the extra margin of benefit. If you do not do it daily – it takes much, much longer to create a new neuro-pathway and actually develop a new habit. But even doing it 2 – 3 times a week can eventually create a whole new experience of laundry or whatever. It may be a huge surprise to wake up with NO resistance to the thing you’ve always avoided or procrastinated about because you literally have a new experience of that thing.

My Quest: Choose This!

On the way to a campsite with some friends of mine, I was telling them how proud I was that I was getting better and better at being able to choose negative circumstances instead of resisting them, and how much I noticed the quality of my daily life transforming before my very eyes. My friend Adrian pulled the van up to the campsite, and let the other folks out of the back, leaving the back door open. I was just finishing my story of being proud when I put my hand in the door jam, and

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 188 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo simultaneously someone slammed the door. The sentence I had just finished saying was, "I can't believe I'm able to sincerely choose even in circumstances that I never would've been able to choose before!" At that instant the door slammed on my fingers, everyone screamed, including me, and without missing a beat, Adrian gleefully said, "Choose this!" We belly laughed for a long time, and kept laughing all through our weekend camping trip!

Exercise- Choosing Take something that you typically have a difficult time choosing. (i.e. laundry, fixing the car, paying the bills, etc.) Have fun verbally resisting it out loud. See how much fun you can have being 2 years old again! Throw a tantrum! Stomp your feet! CHOOSE to resist! Then notice your energy change.

Creating vs. Waiting

What if you could create personal satisfaction, fulfillment and peace in any situation, under any circumstances, regardless of the outcome? Would that be valuable to you? How would it shift your life or accelerate your growth? That is what this module is about.

People are satisfied when they are doing one thing: Creating (Generating, calling forth, producing) whenever they are not satisfied, they are doing one thing: Waiting. Waiting for the movie of their “Fight or Flight” mind to somehow turn out. Watching like a victim, hoping something will get better, and the circumstance will go away.

When you’ve got an upset, a problem an obstacle in your way, you can bet one thing is happening, you are waiting…not creating. Without being aware of it you are watching a movie in your mind's eye (“Fight or Flight” fear based mind), that by design is there to show you everything dangerous or uncomfortable, and you are waiting for this negative, fear based movie to somehow turn out and go your way. You are watching the movie of DON'T WANT and WAITING for this movie to turn out and go your way, unaware of course that this movie … does not, cannot, and will not ever turn out and go your way!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 189 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Why not? Simply because it is a fear based theater and it's job is to show you the worst possible thing that could be happening right now! It can only show of movie of what you DON'T WANT! You can only be happy, satisfied or complete when you think you're moving towards a picture of what you DO WANT!

A New “Happiness” Paradigm

As Werner Erhard alluded to, “In some parts of the world if you tried to explain to people that you can write down a new way of irrigating a field on a piece of paper and someone could learn this new method of irrigation without ever meeting the person who wrote it, they would look at you rolling their eyes and say, "You've been hitting the sauce again…"

It is not just that they don't know how to irrigate, it's that they don't even have a concept, a paradigm, a structure or a way of looking at the world that allows such a skill to exist! There are people on the planet who to this very day do not yet know that when it is Three AM - and they've been working all night, and the boss is yelling at them to do it right, and the boss is doing it wrong, that at that exact moment, with all of that going on, they've got the power to be create being absolutely, 100%, filled to the brim, satisfied. Can you believe that there are still people on this planet who do not yet know this information? There are people on the planet who to this very day do not yet know that on the worst day, they can create being satisfied. Even on the day when their car breaks down and they need a new engine and that will cost them a few thousand dollars. Even when they look in their checkbook and realize they made a mistake and are off by a zero! Even if on that very day they walk into work and their boss say's "You're fired!” There are people on the planet who do not yet know that with all of this going on, they can create being satisfied. There are people on the planet who to this very day do not yet know that when the love of their life walks out after ten years and they are left crushed, hurting, and so devastated and never knowing when they'll burst out into tears, don’t know that they can simultaneously create being completely satisfied! They can be devastatingly sad AND satisfied! There are still people who do not know that with all of that going on, with anything that's going on in their lives, they've got the power to be create being absolutely, 100%, filled to the brim, satisfied. There are people out there, who still do not know that! Can you believe that? You may have even met some of these people…One, perhaps, in the mirror? There is a new paradigm for happiness. Most people believe that FEELINGS have something to do with SATISFACTION. They believe that if you're 'bummed out' you can't possibly be satisfied. What if you gave it a possibility that you could learn how to be satisfied no matter what circumstances occur? What if you can create being

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 190 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo fulfilled and fully satisfied no matter what negative circumstances are showing up? If you could get better and better at this skill, how would the mastery of this skill affect your performance, your success, your love life or self-concept? To get to this new paradigm, where you are in charge of your own fulfillment and satisfaction let's first look at what happiness is.

My Quest: Creating Under the Worst of Circumstances When my son was about 14, he was jumped by a gang a couple of blocks from his school. He came home bleeding and bruised and I quickly assessed whether he needed to go to the hospital. Surprisingly, he was only superficially injured, but I was completely rattled. I had less than two hours before I was scheduled to facilitate a course teaching Empowerment Dialogue (an innovation out of Gestalt Therapy that was previously discussed) to my leaders. I was in no shape to lead a workshop, so I made calls to other facilitators but couldn’t reach anyone. Eli seemed fine and wanted to be with his friends, so I was free to facilitate. The only trouble was that internally I was shaking so badly, I was an emotional mess. It was the moment of truth, and if I was not going to be a complete basket case, I needed to do something. Instead of just watching the movie of my “Fight or Flight”, instead of waiting for the movie of my mind to “fit my pictures,” I needed to create, to call forth, to produce from nowhere and nothing, the way I wanted to be in front of the room. I walked in front of the audience of leaders and told them what had just happened to my son. I said, “You are very lucky tonight, because I am going to demonstrate what it’s like to be completely rattled by life, and to create the performance you want to create, by channeling all of the ideal feelings, emotions, and energy into my performance. So you will actually get the best performance and training of my life!” Everyone including me was moved by my intention and my performance. Years later, I still have those that were there telling the story of the best training they ever attended.

The Power to Create: (Generating Enthusiasm) You have the power to create fulfillment, satisfaction, and peace, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of the crisis happening! I am going to teach you exactly how to do this. I want to acknowledge Werner Erhard and Landmark Education for allowing me to use this process.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 191 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo "Creating Your Reality” Exercise #1

MAIN POINTS OF EXERCISE: 1. Decide now - ahead of time 2. Do it instantly 3. Do it wholeheartedly

If you don't do it wholeheartedly - and you don't do it in that instant - you will miss the experience - you may understand the concept, but you will miss the experience. In life - understanding is the booby prize. You have to decide NOW. If you don’t commit ahead of time you will be half-hearted.

What I ask you to do - the very instant that I give you the instructions - Because the process only works - if you follow the instructions wholeheartedly - the instant that I give them to you - when I give the instructions and say GO - you have to do it in that instant & wholeheartedly. To get ready simply allow yourself to get as centered and grounded as you can. (Slow down, using your deep breaths)

Now from nowhere – from nothing I want you to Imagine and create a demonstration of 100%

1) Outrageous laughter – Go!

2) The joyful innocent 3 year old within. Now from nowhere – from nothing I want you to imagine and create a demonstration of 100%

3) Whatever you consider to be your Highest Self - Your Sacred self – perhaps your fully realized or ideal self.

Reflect on the following to process the exercise. This will give you the most meaning from it and help you begin to anchor in the concept. Did you decide to do it wholeheartedly the instant you received the instruction? Did you truly commit to the activity? You will know the answer to this question by the result. Did you laugh uncontrollably? Were you filled with a great and sincere love?

Let’s talk about your ability to create. This ability is one key way to overcome the “Fight or Flight” mind. The “Fight and Flight” mind will push your buttons - forever! Those recordings are constant, automatic, and out of your control. What is the ability to create? It is the ability to call forth, to generate, to

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 192 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo produce, to invent, and to bring into being. From where do we create? As Werner Erhard said, “We create from nowhere, from nothing -We call forth, we generate from absolutely nothing, which is the same as everything!” Deepak Chopra calls this “The Field of Infinite Possibilities”.

How do we create? Again, as Werner Erhard said, “You don't know how you create just like you don't know how you walk. Go ahead - tell me, since you think you know how you walk. You may respond, "You put one foot in front of the other..." However, that is a description of what you do - not how you do it!!” How do you create satisfaction, pride, the light being on - from nowhere, from nothing - all the reactions, the thoughts, feelings from the “Fight or Flight” mind? You don't know how you do it - you just do it! You use your magic wand. You simply call it forth - you create it - you produce it – you simply bring it into being. You may not know how you did it. But you know that you can do it. You know this because, if you were wholehearted in the above exercise, you just did. The Game of being happy or successful is the game of managing your thoughts. Healing is a function of re-writing the script of doubts and fears (wounded-ness). You create your reality - "You are perfectly designed to get the results you are now getting. Want new results - re-write your thoughts and feelings, which determine your behaviors - which determine your results.

"Creating Your Reality” Exercise #2 What if you can create being fulfilled and fully satisfied no matter what negative circumstances are showing up? Let’s demonstrate the enormous power of this principle!

Now - we are about to do a simple demonstration so you can have an experience of how to create while your “Fight or Flight” mind is busy reacting. (There can be no better time than NOW - because your mind, right now is resisting - like it always does!)

In order for the demonstration to actually work for you, you need to decide ahead of time whether or not you are going to follow my instructions @ 100% - and do exactly the exercise.

Instructions: Right now, notice what it is that you are focusing on - whatever fear or negative is on your mind. Identify whatever is your current DON’T WANT.

Right now, (instead of focusing intently on whatever fear or negative is on your mind), instead of focusing and resisting what you DON'T WANT, I want you to create, to call forth, to produce, from nowhere, from nothing, while your mind is busy bumming you

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 193 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo out – For 5 seconds I want you to jump up and very loudly create a demonstrate of ENTHUSIASM at the level of 1000% - GO!

NOTICE:

Without talking - sit down, close your eyes to be wherever you are inside and notice what you notice. (Pause) "Right now you are feeling and thinking what you created by your decision and your commitment.

If you feel good - you created that - if you're disappointed and angry - you created that. Let’s do another version of this exercise again.

Instructions: "Right now, (instead of focusing intently on whatever fear or negative is on your mind), instead of focusing and resisting what you DON'T WANT, I want you to create, to call forth, to produce, from nowhere, from nothing, while your mind is busy bumming you out - I want you to create and demonstrate Disgust at the level of 1000% - GO! Notice that it doesn’t matter what you create! Disgust can be as fun as creating anything. What matters is not what you create - but that you create!

Instructions: "Right now, (instead of focusing intently on whatever fear or negative is on your mind), instead of focusing and resisting what you DON'T WANT, I want you to create, to call forth, to produce, from nowhere, from nothing, while your mind is busy bumming you out - I want you to create and demonstrate Unconditional Love at the level of 1000% - GO!

Now from nowhere – from nothing I want you to create a demonstration of 1000% Unconditional Love – Go!

You may think that these demonstrations, these small examples are small potatoes. However the process of creation or your ability to create is the same whether you are creating enthusiasm (a state) or bringing into being more income, a better love life, etc. It is by mastering the ability to manage your thoughts – feelings and states that create and attract all you want to you!

Summary In summary, as Werner Erhard would say, “You are I possess the power to transform the quality of our life under all conditions and all circumstances, in every right now…” In every right now you are either unhappy - in some upset or problem because you are waiting for the negative fear base theater to change into what you want. Or, in every right now you are happy because instead of waiting for your negative theater to change you are CREATING which puts you back into the positive theater. This is a never-ending ability to master. The better you get at mastering this skill, the more blessings and all that you desire you will create!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 194 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 13: Points of Power Master Key #6 – Choosing & Creating

In every "right now" they are either in a state of resisting, succumbing or choosing. Once you move beyond resisting or succumbing and step into choosing, you can create all possibilities. You cannot create until you move into choosing.

Activity has no inherent meaning or experience. Meaning is a human creation.

Choosing is NOT just making your self do it. In order to CHOOSE you must do it with joy!

It is the very act of RESISTING or SUCCUMBING that creates the experience of EFFORT, STRUGGLE, BURDEN, STRESS, STRAIN. It is the act of CHOOSING which removes or dissolves all of the effort, struggle, stress and strain from an activity. TO HAVE IT BE EFFORTLESS . . . CHOOSE!

People are satisfied when they are doing one thing: Creating (Generating, calling forth, producing) Whenever they are not satisfied, they are doing one thing: Waiting. (Waiting for the movie of their "fight or flight mind" to somehow turn out. Watching like a victim, hoping something will get better, and the circumstance will go away.)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 195 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 14: Master Key #7: Living in the Dream The Secret to True Living

In my first meeting with Mel Wasserman he stated that if you look over the story of mankind there were a few golden times in history when there were no wars, when in a very small area of geography, there was an explosion of art, science, philosophy and mankind blossomed - like the Golden Age of Greece or the Renaissance. He pointed out, “What these times have in common is that a few people gathered together and decide to transcend the boundaries of their culture and express the truth.” An avalanche of creativity can create a domino effect and ignite unprecedented possibilities of human creativity and expression. In modern times there are too many examples to mention, but Walt Disney, Steven Jobs, J.K. Rowling are all examples of people who by living their dream influenced the world. In recent history the closest example of this phenomenon is that in music the British Invasion produced and outrageous amount of quality timeless music from the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, The Who, and too many to mention, from a very small geographical area, mostly a few port cities like Liverpool! It is rare to meet people who are truly living their dream. There is something very different in their presence, their countenance. For me Mel Wasserman was the first.

My First Encounter with One Who was Living the Dream: Mel Wasserman was the first person I had met that was truly living his dream! The first time I visited Cedu Foundation, I was standing at the entrance of a very large and beautiful lodge. It was a grand lodge previously owned by a famous Hollywood producer and of course Mel would not settle for anything but the best. Mel was an unrecognized genius who invented transformational technologies that would not be discovered by others and written about for another generation. I watched numerous technologies get written about and sweep the county like NLP that I had experienced years before others discovered them. One of the clear distinctions of Mel Wasserman’s presence was the fact that he truly lived his dream There were 6 or more sitting areas with couches facing each other or in circles where people were gathered. The atmosphere was unlike anything I’d ever experienced because fifty to sixty people were in one room actually having real conversations, not just talking in clichés about the weather. The air was charged with an aliveness I’d never seen. Then, my mentor Mel Wasserman stepped out of his office just for a moment. Something grabbed me down to my toes when I saw him. I said to myself, “Wow…who is this?” I didn’t understand what it was for almost a year. He presented himself authentically as a person of enormous power, strength, purpose and vision. People would do double takes when he walked down the street. I finally realized that the

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 196 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo power of his presence, the way he walked and stood actually communicated something I had never seen in a human being before. He was the first person I had met that was truly living his dream! The difference was a very clear distinction.

True Living is “Living IN the Dream”

When you do any of the 7 Master Keys you are being authentic, being true to self and living in your dream. Let’s talk about Living in the Dream.

“True Living” is “Living IN the Dream.”

True living is experiencing the activity I am doing NOW as my Dream or Aspiration. By living in the dream I mean accessing the state of being in which you are immersed in your dream or vision. For example, doing whatever activity you are doing as if your dream depends on it. This will keep you in the state of accessing your dream. When Mel did whatever he did, his presence communicated unmistakable authenticity, being wholehearted, fully present, showing up! When I have consulted sales teams, their numbers and successes rise dramatically when they put their dreams on 3 x 5 cards, and then I ask them to NOT pick up the phone until they make their calls like that dream depends on it. To decide which dream this call or set of calls will depend on that dream. Once they decide which dream they will call as if the call depends on it, it changes their entire presence. It transforms their attitude, their facial expression, their countenance, their tone of voice, and how rejections affect them. Most importantly – since it is their “little invisible antennae” of intention that speaks to the potential clients “little invisible antennae” and creates the results, their success increases dramatically.

Building a Fort vs. Pounding Nails True living is experiencing the activity I am doing NOW as my Dream or Aspiration. Here is one of my favorite examples. I was at a friend's house. Her little girl came into the room, completely lit up with enthusiasm. She was beaming. I asked her what she was up to, and she said, "I'm building a fort!” When you make an objective observation, all she's really doing is hitting a nail with a hammer. But a closer look reveals that she's not just hitting a hammer with a nail...she is "BUILDING A FORT!" She's talking to herself, playing a movie in her mind's eye, and experiencing all of the pictures of her DREAM! She is excited and enthusiastic, and that state permeates her being. "I'm building a fort! And it's going to be incredible, and all my friends are going to love it, and we'll play together! And I'll be the princess! And princes will come!" She's

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 197 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo talking to herself, playing a movie in her minds eye, and feeling all of the pictures of her DREAM!

People who study NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) understand that the brain accesses three modes of information: thoughts (sounds or auditory), pictures (visual), and feelings (emotions or kinesthetic). So in this case the little girl is talking to herself (thoughts or sound), playing a movie in her minds eye (pictures), and feeling all of the pictures of her DREAM (kinesthetic or emotions)! In a moment we will show you how to create your dreams so that you will include all three of these ways in which the brain accesses information. You will see how it is possible to create your dream using pictures, thoughts and feelings! This is good news because once you learn seven of the things humans can do to create happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment, success, then you will be able to create more and more true joy and real success every day!

Success Starts with a Vision When people are successful, we call them leaders.

Success always starts with a vision . . . and always ends with results. A successful person, a leader is by definition a creator of visions- a maker of dreams.

A leader is a creator of intention, someone with the power, the capacity, and capability to bring forth, to manifest, to produce, to bring into reality their visions and aspirations. As we discussed earlier True Living is living in the Dream. By living in the dream I mean accessing the state of being in which you are immersed in your dream. If you are not connecting what you are doing right now (whether it’s paying the bills, taking out the garbage, or talking to a co-worker) to your current aspiration, you are not in a state of satisfaction. You are in a state called "Going through the Motions." You are off track, off path and have entered the Pain Zone. Now you are upset.

Dreamers and Doers Generally there are two kinds of people in life. The Dreamers, who are those people who behold the possibilities, shoot for the stars, and glimpse what could be. And The Doers, who are those people who want to "stop talking all day and get on with it.” Doers want to take action and get the job done. Both Dreamers and Doers are neither happy nor satisfied. *Maybe- While it may be natural for you to associate Dreaming and Doing with effective Visioning or Aspirations, this is a notion. Neither

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 198 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo ability in and of itself is enough to create satisfaction. Satisfaction is an experience that does not occur from dreaming or doing. It is experiencing the connection between dreaming and doing.

Satisfaction is experiencing the connection between Dreaming and Doing.

In order to build and realize your best and most precious dreams, you want to use all the power you've got available. This involves understanding and using the Power of Perception.

3 Principles on the Power of Perception

1. In the quality of daily life, you can only rise as high as your level of perception. 2. Perception is only limited by imagination. 3. Imagination is only limited by your current level of personal power.

The single greatest tool for overcoming ANY and ALL barriers to success is a compelling vision. The scope of your vision or context determines your perception. Like climbing a mountain, the higher you climb the further you can see. Perception determines all of your behaviors and all of your results. The grander your vision, the higher you are allowed to perceive. I.e. Each new level of vision that you embrace allows a higher level of perceptions, which drive behaviors, and behaviors in turn drive results.

My Quest: The Impossible Dream Shrinks the More You Grow When I was 18 years old, living in my therapeutic community called Cedu Foundation, I had very little personal power of self-esteem. The most I could imagine as a grand possibility was that someday I might be able to become a facilitator, like the facilitators I saw creating miracles in our group sessions.

Within a few years I did become a facilitator, and with greater self-esteem (personal power) I could imagine much grander dreams. One day after I had gone around the country and taken many, many trainings, seminars, and empowerment disciplines, I imagined that I could create a retreat (the Awakening) that would be one of the most empowering and healing in the country. Once I created this retreat, my self-concept expanded and I could imagine much grander visions. If I could find a way to get the people on this planet with real money, influence and power to become passionately interested in truly making a difference and

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 199 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo creating a world that works for everyone, then I could have a major piece of the pie called bringing the human family home, creating heaven on earth. As personal power expands, so does your imagination, and your new perceptions or context, which determines the quality of daily life.

The next Journal Exercise will assist you in identifying what your dream is in your love life, your money, as a parent etc. Take out piece of paper and for each category identify with 1 - 3 sentences what a wonderful vision is of that area in your life:

Journal Exercise: My Dreams, Visions and Aspirations

Love Life / Romance / Sex & Physical Intimacy Children / Family / Parenting Money/ Career / Success Communication / Self Expression Assertiveness / Personal Power Recreation / Travel / "Play" Spiritual Discipline (or whatever the equivalent of that is for you) Personal Presence / Self-Confidence / Self Concept Personal Organization: (Time Management - Scheduling / Personal Effectiveness, Efficiency / Household Systems, i.e. Filing) Health / Diet & Exercise

Now that you've identified a dream and vision in these various areas of life, now you can use the following exercise to practice visioning with all of the personal power you currently possess. In the physical realm, as long as you hold your dream or vision as a good idea, it literally cannot manifest.

In order for a vision to manifest in the physical realm, It must be held NOT just as a good idea, but also as a direct experience!

As long as you hold your dream or vision as a good idea, it literally cannot show up. Until you hold your vision as a direct experience, your vision is always at arm’s length!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 200 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

What’s great about following exercises is they are a way for you to hold one of your dreams or visions as NOT just as a good idea, but to rise up to holding your dream as a direct experience! So, if in these exercises, we can assist you to hold your dream or vision as an actual experience, this will begin the process of manifesting your dream or vision. The secret to having a direct experience of your dream or vision is to talk about it out loud as specifically as possible. So if you actually get to where you talk so specifically that you can "taste the strawberries" and start to get touched, moved, inspired, lifted, you are planting the experiential seed for that vision to manifest!

Visions Exercise: For this exercise you will need a partner that you feel safe enough to share your dream or vision with. It can be vulnerable to share such heartfelt visions, so please choose someone you are absolutely safe with, someone you have no doubts about honoring your experience. Although it can be done alone, the power of the exercise is greatly accelerated by looking in someone's eyes that shares your experience with you. You want to be as specific as possible. Be so specific in describing your dream, that you can "taste the strawberries."

1. Imagine that its 5 - 10 years in the future, and one of your dreams has exceeded your fondest expectations - even better than you were hoping for!

2. Get a partner and speak in the NOW, describing one of your dreams as if they have come true HERE - NOW - TODAY. Even though you're in the future, speak it in the now.

The Genie Game - Anchoring In the Experience of Your Dream

If you enjoyed the movie "The Secret" about the Law of Attraction, you will love this advanced level tool for manifesting. What most people don’t know is that you literally cannot manifest any dream if you simply hold it as a good idea! Until you hold that dream or vision as a direct experience, it literally cannot manifest. What’s great about the following "Genie Game” exercise is that it is a way for you to envision and speak so specifically that you can hold one of your dreams or visions NOT just as an idea, but also as a direct experience! The moment you do this is the instant that your vision begins to unfold and manifest. I debated with myself whether to put an advanced exercise in manifestation in this first book. I decided that even though it is an advanced tool, and my most masterful facilitators can do a more brilliant job of creating a more profound experience

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 201 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo than any book, that it might be worth leaving it in, so you can experiment with it, and create whatever level of WOW that you can.

I strongly suggest that you record this verbatim into a recorder, then sit and relax into visualization and play it for yourself, so you can have a very uplifting experience. It is also strongly suggested that you go to our website (www.riseleadershipgroup.com) and get one of our coaches to guide you through it. This is by far the best way to experience this profound exercise.

If you're fortunate enough during this exercise to have a 'clunk' (a direct experience which feels like it rings the bell) then the process of manifesting your dream or vision will have begun to manifest today! Your job during this process is to allow yourself to experience this vision, to feel it as deeply as possible. It is very helpful to keep breathing deeply when you experience it for yourself. Now we are ready to begin.

You will either need a partner to write down what you say verbatim, or say each part out loud and then write it down. It is essential to say it out loud. The founder of Gestalt Therapy, Fritz Perl’s discovered that when people talk out loud, they bring things from subconscious to conscious, so to do this without talking out loud robs yourself of many exciting "ache’s." Then take the time to write down what you have said. This written part will be used to read into your recorder so that you can listen to your recording later.

Have your recorder ready. Then read the following italicized script. Notations in parenthesis are for emphasis or instruction.

Identify and Write them down: Note them, but do not read them aloud.

"Imagine that it is a few years in the future (5 - 10 years), and your goal, dream or vision has manifested. I want you to go into as SPECIFIC detail as you can and say out loud what it's like to realize and be living in this dream." (PAUSE long enough to write it down – Give yourself more time than you need) Include every aspect of living in your dream. (PAUSE long enough to write it down - Give yourself more time than you need) What is it like to be a gift a contribution to yourself and your loved ones? Visualize the ways you are able to contribute to your loved ones, the community or the world. (PAUSE long enough to write it down- Give yourself more time than you need) What does success look like in this vision? How much money are you earning? (PAUSE long enough to write it down - Give yourself more time than you need) What is it like to go on vacations with your partner, family or friends? (PAUSE long enough to write it down - Give yourself more time than you need)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 202 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo What is it like to live in the house you want? (PAUSE long enough to write it down - Give yourself more time than you need) What are your relationships like with your partner, children or friends? etc. (PAUSE long enough to write it down)

(NOTE: Keep yourself talking and be specific. The more you talk, the more you paint a more and more specific picture. The more you paint a more specific picture, the deeper the experience gets, until finally you have a direct experience of the full value! When you have this direct experience, you will feel or hear something like a ring in a bell. We call this something you can feel, a ‘CLUNK’. Once you bring it from an idea (head) to an experience (heart) you will ‘hear’ this shift; what we call a ‘CLUNK.’ Until you feel or hear this ‘CLUNK’ you are not enrolled fully in your own vision and it cannot begin to manifest.

If a facilitator or coach were taking you through this process they would notice that this ‘CLUNK’ is a noticeable shift that will show up in your voice, your facial expression, your tone of voice. You may look off into space and say something like “Yeah …now that would be great…!”) Each time you answer, you become more and more specific which results in a deeper and deeper experience!

Speak it into the Recorder:

Once you’ve written all of details of your dream in very specific detail, speak it into the recorder so it can be used as a Visualization. Leave enough time as pauses between each question or instruction below.

"Imagine that it is a few years in the future, and your goal, dream or vision has manifested. I want you to go into as SPECIFIC detail as you can and tell me what it's like to realize and be living in this dream." (PAUSE long enough to include all of this section as read into the recorder.) Include every aspect of living in your dream. (PAUSE – 10 – 20 secs.) What is it like to be a gift a contribution to yourself and your loved ones? Visualize the ways you are able to contribute to your loved ones, the community or the world. (PAUSE – 10 – 20 secs.) What does success look like in this vision? How much money are you earning? (PAUSE – 10 – 20 secs.) What is it like to go on vacations with your partner, family or friends? (PAUSE – 10 – 20 secs.) What is it like to live in the house you want? (PAUSE – 10 – 20 secs.) What are your relationships like with your partner, children or friends? etc. (PAUSE – 10 – 20 secs.)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 203 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Include these instructions below as part of the visualization.

Once you have read the entire visualization above onto the recorder, now add, "Close your eyes and find the feeling (of living in your dream) somewhere in your body. Put your hand on it." (PAUSE – 10 – 20 secs.)

Read into the recorder, "Imagine what color is this feeling? (PAUSE – 10 – 20 secs.)

Read into the recorder, "Breath into this feeling, this color, and with every breath, allow the experience, this feeling of living your dream to expand until it fills your whole body. With every breath, as it expands, the color expands, and you feel it deeper richer and fuller." (PAUSE – 20 – 30 secs.)

Read into the recorder as a reminder, "If you access emotions, feel it, expand into it. Repeat any sentence that has emotional meaning to it."

Read into the recorder, "Be this feeling, describe yourself OUT LOUD as this feeling, “I am this feeling and I am…” ie. “I am powerful, I am inspiring, I am determined, I am radiant…etc. (PAUSE – 60 – 90 secs.)

Read into the recorder and ask these questions OUT LOUD to get to a specific experience – 1) “What means so much to you about this life?” (Pause about 30 seconds) 2) “What do you love the most about this life?” (Pause about 30 seconds) 3) “What moves or touches you the most about this life?” (Pause about 30 seconds) 4) "What inspires you the most about this life?" (Pause about 30 seconds)

Identify the Barrier: Read into the recorder "If the Genie could take away any barrier, and it would be done, over with, yesterdays news, what barrier would you most want to overcome that would let you get out of your own way and manifest this life you envision?" (Pause about 30 - 60 seconds)

Two Theaters: Read into the recorder “Imagine two theaters in your mind's eye. The one on the left is a movie of the way your life would unfold over the next 5 years, if you do NOT overcome your barrier. The theater on the right is the movie how of your life would unfold over the next 5 years, if you absolutely DO overcome your barrier.

Go back and forth, and speak out loud one item from each theater, and keep rotating back and forth. Speak one situation from the theater on the left, (don’t want) and one situation from the theater on the right (do want).” (Pause about 30 - 60

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 204 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo seconds) (After 5 – 6 passes – you should be very clear about how much you experientially want the movie on the right instead of the one on the left.)

Visualization "Imagination Exercise" Now you will listen to what you have recorded. Get into a quiet comfortable space. You can do it sitting or lying down. Take some deep breaths and slow your body down. It may help to imagine a chord of light going through the top of your head, relaxing everything in your body, and then send it through the earth and have the center of the earth send the same chord of light up to and connect with your chord. This will keep you grounded.

Start the recorder and listen to the visualization. When done, make notes of anything important to you. You may want to share the highlights with someone close to you.

Now that you’ve had an experience of your dreams here are some good ideas to make the most of this games high value.

1. Listen to it over and over again. The very best value is gained by listening to it daily for 21 – 30 days. This will have you experience it consistently in a short period of time which is the very best way to anchor it in.

2. Think about this moving experience as many times throughout your day as possible. The very best way to manifest what you want in life is to keep yourself thinking on the positives of what you want as often as possible - with as much intensity as possible. Any strategy you use to keep yourself thinking and feeling your experience of your vision is vital and essential in manifesting it into reality.

3. Vision boards can be very powerful in supporting the manifestation of such dreams and visions. You can cut pictures out of magazines that capture any of your Genie Game and create a collage, a poster out of all the pictures that represent your dream.

The Genie Game can be an extremely powerful experiential process. My staff and I do it at least 2 – 3 times a year because over the years we have noticed this games ability to absolutely catapult us. It has unprecedented power by having us experience in a profound way our dreams; the larger picture, where we are headed. It is obvious to us how much less value there is in just thinking about such significant things. I’ve never found a more potent process for showing people the power of “Living in the Dream.”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 205 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Based on the reality of the 3 Principles of Perception – we can only rise as high as our level of perception and imagination. There is nothing more powerful to manifest your dreams and visions than to experience them directly - as intensely and as often as possible. When we facilitate each other through the Genie Game, we record it and then put it into subliminal recordings so we can even listen to it when we sleep. This is because we have clear evidence that nothing is more powerful than to give ourselves a direct experience of our dreams and visions as often as possible. For the rest of your life you will be as happy and successful as your ability to live in your dream moment to moment. If you want to be a gift, an influence, if your passion is to change people’s lives, then my dream is to ignite your success, to be a great healer, teacher, parent and influence. Living in your dream will catapult your success.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 206 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Chapter 14: Points of Power Master Key #7: Living in the Dream The Secret to True Living

True Living is Living in the Dream.

Satisfaction is an experience that does not occur from dreaming or doing. It is experiencing the connection between dreaming and doing.

In order for a vision to manifest in the physical realm, it must be held NOT just as a good idea, but also as a direct experience!

Human beings are "Happy" whenever they live by the truth!

High events lift individuals to new heights.

A Dream Makers is someone who takes on a purpose for their living, which is bigger than "my life."

Taking on a purpose moves you toward the center of the river where the water is the clearest and the deepest and the fastest. I'm saying to take the fast lane . . . get into the center of the river and let it carry you, get aligned with the universal forces. Taking on the highest purpose – one that includes the whole – can move you to the center where you are so aligned with universal forces that instead of working so hard to find the people and the resources to catapult your vision, now they come to you!

Truth without love is a lie. Love is the truth. Love without truth is a lie. Truth is love.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 207 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Chapter 15: Conclusion Seven Master Keys – One Truth

The Seven Master Keys: 1. Centering- (The Relaxed Readiness to Respond vs. React) 2. Honoring Your Truth (Being True to Self) 3. Asking at 100% (For What is True) 4. Admitting what’s in Your Heart (Disengaging from Reactions – “Getting off it.”) 5. Awakening the Intent to Empower (Establishing a Coaching Relationship) 6. Creating & Choosing (Create vs. Wait – Resist vs. Choose) 7. Living in the Dream (True Living IS Living IN the Dream)

Seven Master Keys – One Truth

When you look extra closely you realize that The Seven Master Keys are really different aspects of the same thing. When you connect your activities to your dream- when you live in your dream, aren't you also honoring your truth? When you "Admit what's in your heart" aren't you also choosing instead of succumbing? So you see, it's like the ten blind men who are trying to describe the truth about the elephant, but they all see it from a different angle. The Seven Master Keys are all strategies of the same fundamental skill. If you had to boil them down to a word you could say, “Embrace.” In a few words you could say, “Be authentic” or “Live by the truth” or “Honor your truth” or “Honor the gift you are” or “Live your dream.” When you do any of these powerful skills you are being authentic. You embrace life. You are being true. You are living your dream. If we had to summarize, we might say:

Human beings are "Happy" whenever they live by the truth!

In this book you have learned Seven Master Keys of Life Mastery in order to leave the problems, upsets, patterns (the Theater of Fear) behind and to access the source of joy, fulfillment, satisfaction and peace (the Theater of Love). This book contains wisdom that has the power to transform your life. By practicing these Seven Master Keys, you will learn to consciously “play” in a realm of love and fulfillment. The Seven Master Keys outlined in this work will take you on a path of discovery into the realm of the soul, where unlimited potential benefits and positive influences for your life await you.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 208 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Once you are able to access your true heart and soul, your “being;” an entirely new domain is opened up. A magical realm is available that has been reserved for the saints and gurus, and is now available to all human beings. Many people have learned that greater results come from focusing inward for answers rather than looking outside themselves. If you knew how good it is -- you wouldn’t hold back. You don't resist when it's time to go to Disneyland or on your dream vacation, do you? If you knew the kind of money, success, love life, and abundance in all areas are sitting on a silver platter; you wouldn’t dig in your heels in or avoid doing your own “inner game.”

Integration Through Practice How to build emotional muscle: You don't build physical or emotional muscle by going up to 500 lb… and stressing and straining, then beating yourself up because you can't do it. You start with 10 lb. Then 20, then 30 and so on, until eventually you can lift 500 lb.! The same is true with building emotional muscle.

The Seven Master Keys are the most fundamental and most effective methods I have found for moving out of fear and into love. Whenever you move from fear to love you access the source of your personal power which is your true self or being; and access your most direct connection to spirit. This poem describes it.

The Greatest Key to Manifest Your Vision; Higher Purpose

“I don't know what you destiny will be, but one thing I know, the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." - ALBERT SCHWEITZER

What is all of this game called “Inner Work” or “Inner Game” or Transformation or growth about? What is the purpose of such delving into self? I believe that there is a higher purpose – a context that makes sense of all of our growth. We have found that the deepest need human beings have is to make a difference, to know that they count, that they matter, and that there is a reason for them to be here!

The following quote by Mel Wasserman speaks to this point.

“If you study the peak times in human history – like The Golden Age of Greece or the Renaissance – The Golden Age of Greece was an age without war, birthed many of the world’s greatest philosophers, art, science, and architecture all within a 30 year period. Also the Renaissance produced all of those scientific discoveries, music, literature and art within a very small area of land in a very short period of time… What these times have in common is that a group of people decided to transcend the boundaries of their culture in order to tell the truth!”

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 209 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Mel Wasserman

High events lift individuals to new heights.

I believe the creation of the Declaration of Independence was a sacred event, as was the Renaissance. Each individual player in the creation of the document played a key role. Franklin, Washington, Jefferson and the others may have been good men individually and certainly successful, and perhaps very happy . . . but they could not have experienced the degree of life and accomplishment they did if they had been born 50 years earlier or later. Their life would have been nothing like the experience of the time they were privileged to be a part of.

“Nothing is so powerful as an Idea whose time has come." -Victor Hugo

As Werner Erhard pointed out in his booklet on Ending Hunger, “All of the forces, the political forces, the social forces, the economic forces, will mold themselves to express the idea whose time has come. For example, when the end of slavery was an idea whose time had come, nothing would stop it, even if it required a war to give it birth, it would be born.”

Like Jefferson or Franklin, if we can be a part of an idea whose time has come, it can create a grand context for our daily lives. Werner Erhard taught me about Context. What is a Context for our daily life? Other words for context are purpose, dream, vision, commitment, or intention. Context or purpose gives meaning to all the content of daily life. Think of a jar (the context) and the marbles in the jar (the content). Context creates meaning. For example, consider the question "Is fighting good or bad?" It depends on the context. Are you fighting for yourself to be healthy by running every day or just getting into fights because you can’t control your temper?

Without a context or higher purpose for your living, You are a victim of your circumstances.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 210 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Without a Purpose or Context, then your daily "high" / the quality of your daily life is determined by the circumstances, by the lowest common denominator, by your “Fight or Flight” MIND. Is it a good day or bad day? Did I get fired? Did the car break down? Then it’s a bad day. Did I get a raise? Did my son win the game? It’s a good day. When your car breaks down, it will either be experienced as your higher purpose or experienced as the barriers and obstacles, the self-doubts which your past has thrust upon you, for example it's proof that, "I'm lazy, I procrastinate, just like my dad always accused me of . . . and I don't care anyway."

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. -Mahatma Gandhi

My conversations used to be conversations void of purpose, direction or meaning. Now every conversation is so different. Every conversation, every joke I tell, every interaction is so filled with purpose- about my dream, my vision to bring the whole human family home to a heaven on earth.

Journal Exercise: Charity

You can journal this exercise, or go through it with a partner.

• Share about your car breaking down as if it's a normal day. It will cost over $3500 to fix it. What does your “Fight or Flight” fear based mind say to you about this upsetting situation? i.e. “You should have taken better care of your car… you never pay attention… you’re lazy just like your dad says you are…” etc.

• Now the circumstances are the same. Your car breaks down. However, the day is different. Imagine that a month or two ago your friend invited you to join the board of United Way or another charitable group that meets once or twice a month. Then a billionaire in your community died who left over 100 million to this group. Rather than have the entire group decide they allowed each of you on the board to make your own decision as to where 10 million will go. You can choose your own favorite 3 charities. This is the day that you are on your way to decide. If you make it to the meeting, each of 3 of your favorite charity gets over 3 million dollars. All you have to do is show up. Now your car breaks down on the way. Now share about your car breaking down. What would you do? How would you feel? How would your thoughts and actions be directed? How would this situation be different from the above, if it were a typical day?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 211 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo You may have noticed that the larger context changed your experience of the same negative circumstances, often quite dramatically. Many report noticing how large the negative appears when it’s all they have, and then after the larger context, the negative becomes almost negligible.

My Quest: My Car is ‘Totaled’ on the Way to Creating “Heaven on Earth.”

My retreat called “The Awakening” is where I am most in touch with my highest context, which in my words is that I’m a stand for “Heaven on Earth.” On the way to the Awakening, traffic had slowed to a standstill and man behind me didn’t see it, and rammed into my rear going so fast that when I swerved to avoid the cars in front of me, I traveled 4 cars up. My car was totaled. What fascinated me about this experience was that because I knew I would be late, and my commitment is so total to this miraculous retreat, while I was dealing with the cops and all the chaos, I was simultaneously on the phone, teaching people how to start the event without me until I could arrive. My experience of this unwanted situation was completely transformed. My car being totaled was truly “nothing.” My intention for “Heaven on Earth” was everything. It showed me how completely a higher context completely transforms the meaning of any circumstance! The context completely transforms the meaning. It would be different. In the first exercise above, you would be responsive, with a varying degree of emotions. In the second, you would be a Dream Maker.

He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. (New Testament Matthew 10:39)

What is a Dream Maker?

A Dream Makers is someone who takes on a purpose For their living which is larger than "my life."

A Dream Maker is someone who takes on, who stands for, who expresses, who creates a purpose that is bigger than the circumstances in their life. People can only rise as high as their level of perception. Your high will be determined by the size of the vision that you take on. The higher the vision - the higher the "high, joy, satisfaction." It's like wearing different hats. If you only wear a hat called, "my life," then you're only going to get so high. But if you wear a bigger hat, bigger

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 212 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo purpose, Dream or Vision, you get to rise to the size of that vision. Since your daily circumstances will be proof of, and experienced as whatever purpose or vision you take on, if you want to have the best high, then take on the biggest or highest purpose. Now right about here you might start having some irrational considerations, or small alarm buttons going off. Let me clarify. I'm NOT saying that you need to give up your life and what you love and enjoy, and go and be Albert Sweitzer or Mother Teresa. That you have to go out and sacrifice and single-handedly "make the world work." On the contrary, you don’t have to sacrifice your life in order to have a higher context. All you need to is to add to the life you are living now a new way of thinking about your life. Add a context. You need to do what you are now doing from a higher perspective. When you go on vacation or play golf, you can do all pleasurable activities within a context that what your life is about. You can create a world where everyone wins, and where your well being is an important part of that context. You may not be conscious of this – and innocently miss out on a grand power that you could add to creating your vision. If you add a context that includes the whole; that includes all of us, you will add a tremendous power to your life, and accelerate the leverage that is needed to create your visions. I know you want the "goodies" in life like the money, and the vacations, and the lifestyle and all of those wonderfully enjoyable things. That's great! I'm saying that you live your life, live your passions, and that you go after the things that you want . . . in a context of having that process be about a world that works for everyone.

Most people live their life on the edge of the river where they keep eddying out – going over the same problems and patterns year after year.

Taking on a purpose moves you toward the center of the river where the water Is the clearest and the deepest and the fastest. As you move toward the center of the river you get aligned with universal forces. Taking on the highest purpose – one that includes the whole – can move you to the center where you are so aligned with universal forces that instead of stressing to find the people and the resources to catapult your vision, now they come to you!

If you really want those things then find the higher purpose for your life, then watch your life begin really move and to sing.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 213 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Quotes from Werner Erhard As stated in his recording of “A World that Works for Everyone: About You Making a Difference”

For the 1st Time in History, “A context is opened up for us that has not been possible throughout the entire human story. The greatest of all Contexts or Visions is now available and up until now it has not even been possible. This one is bigger than Flight, bigger than Education, Literacy, the End of Slavery, and Human Rights. We are too late for those, someone already brought those Contexts into being, to open up those spaces, now all that can happen with those is that you can change, improve or alter the content within those contexts. We may be soon to be witnesses to Teleportation, to soon to have that privilege. But we are just in time for the greatest context of history.”

“Up until now the Context for all of human interaction was "You or Me." There was never enough to go around.” “So up until now, either I make a difference and you don't, or you make a difference and I don't.”

“Why is it that 49 Americans held hostage in Iran pushes off of the front page, out of our attention, the fact that 2 million Cambodians are assured to die of starvation? Because WE make a difference, because we are important but they are not. It is not worthy of our attention. If it were, it would be in the news. It's not them, they must print in newspapers what sells. It's us. It's where we are coming from. What we say is important to us. In that old Context, in that paradigm, it is not even worthy of our attention, that 15 children die from hunger every minute that you and I breath. It is not worthy of our attention, if it were it would be in the news. We are not interested - we have no attention. If we did It would be in the news as a flash bulletin, that the Nobel Laureates proved that we have all of the necessary resources to feed the world, and that the only thing we lack is the WILL!”

“When you create a Context in which all of us are important, then you begin to realize that these people express more courage, more bigness, just getting up in the morning, than you or I will express is our grandest achievements.”

“Now (sometime in the last 50 years) as the Nobel Laureates, and Buckminster Fuller have scientifically proven, there is enough to go around. THERE IS ENOUGH - BUT UNTIL NOW, IT WASN'T AVAILABLE. Now, for the very first time in all of history, the Context is available to CREATE A WORLD THAT WORKS FOR EVERYONE. You need a Context which encompasses the whole and that leaves no one out. Until you become a stand for a context that include the whole, includes everyone, you are back to a "You or Me" Context. It must include everyone, in order to be a "You and Me" context.... For me it is the highest expression of humanity to contribute, to facilitate, to participate in the transformation of humanity."

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 214 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo How Do I Discover My Highest Purpose? A higher purpose is any focus that you believe makes a real difference. It can be anything that is important to you. It could be a group of people such as children, the elderly, prisoners, etc. It can be a more intrinsic ideal, such as freedom of speech or expression, or allowing and creating beauty in the world. As Werner Erhard states above, until you hold it as “all of us” you are still in a paradigm of “you OR me.” Once you change it to include all of us, you have now changed the paradigm to “you AND me.” Being a stand for the new paradigm of “you AND me” creates a power and a context that can make a real difference. In a “you or me” world, one of us was going to get the goods and one of us was going to lose . . . “and it's not going to be me.” You OR me is fear based (Theater of Fear) and the source of all wars, crime and suffering. You AND me is love based (Theater of Love) and the source of all that works.

The highest purpose is one that includes all of us and is literally a way of stating it.

Examples: A world that works for everyone A world where everyone wins Heaven on Earth A world where everyone knows unconditional Love A world where we all care for one another

The following exercises can be helpful in identifying the purposes that are dearest to your heart, that make your heart sing.

Exercise- How do You Want it to Be? You can journal this exercise or go through it with a partner. Imagine that God says, "The world will be now as you want it to be. How do you intend it to be?" Journal or discuss.

In light of your aspirations, what difference do you want to make? In what way do you want to count, to matter, to know that you were a gift to those you influenced?

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 215 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

Exercise- What Will They Say About Me

Imagine that it's 10 - 15 years down the road, and your aspirations have come true even more than you imagined. Imagine that you've had the kind of impact and influence that truly means something to you.

Now BE one of the people you've influenced. Go home and tell your loved one about this wonderful person named Your Name . BE the person you’ve influence. Have your partner BE their loved one. Tell them about the impact You have made.

The key here is "How good can you stand it?" Make it as good as you can imagine.

What will they say about me: (10 - 15 years down the road) Example: What's the best I could imagine about what someone would say about me in 15 years?

Gabrielle is one of the most powerful, beautiful, and loving people I have met. She speaks her truth with passion and unbridled honesty… She is not only a dreamer but also a doer. She has transformed this earthly paradigm…. She has committed her life to the service of spirit And taking people home, to step into their true and essential spiritual self. She is a clear mirror for people to see who they truly are. She is of service but true to herself and Bringing peace passion and raging love to a reality on earth. Gabrielle Roesch (at age 14)

Journal Exercise- Identifying Higher Purpose

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 216 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Near the end of Chapter 4 is an exercise where you identified your favorite music, movies, heroes etc. You can review those messages. These are the messages you came to learn and came to teach. They are the essence of your mission and purpose. If you find a work or activity that expresses these messages, you have found your purpose and destiny! Identify 5 or more adjectives for one of your passions in each category listed below:

Music: The Rose, (adjectives) touching, moving, heartfelt, etc. Book: Chicken Soup for the Soul, stirs to action, inspirational, etc. Movie: Field of Dreams, spiritual, magical Hero: Ghandi, healing, forgiving, magnficent

Then if you were that item, and had a message to give to the world, as that item, what would your message to the world be, in a one-sentence bottom line message? (As follows…)

Passion/ Message:

The Rose- “Nothing is more powerful than Love and Light.” Field of Dreams- “Miracles are all around us, if we have the eyes to see.” Chicken Soup for the Soul- “The heroic caring of people is endless and alive today.” Ghandi- “Compression can move mountains and change the world.”

Journal Exercise: Greater Purpose Every Day

In daily life you can use the following chart to identify how your daily activities can be held as an integral part of your highest purpose. Write this out for yourself in your own words to identify how your daily activities can be wired up to your highest purpose.

Daily Activity: Fix the car Personal Dream: To be a great facilitator – teacher – mother Highest Purpose: Your words for “A world where we all win” or such

I fix the car or clean the toilet or pay my bills and when I can remember I do each activity as if my dream depends on it. And I can consciously do these activities as if my highest purpose depends on it.

We demonstrate the power of the above exercise in several of the workshops we do. First we have people pair up and for about a minute they attempt to enroll their partner into whatever product or service they are about.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 217 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Then we have them enroll their partner into their product or service as if their personal dream depends on it. After a minute we take shares from their partners as to what they noticed as the difference when someone was attempting to enroll them from one place or another. Their partners are quite astounded by the difference. They say things like, “Wow… their tone of voice was different, their facial expression, their entire countenance was different. This time I was actually open to the idea they presented…” Finally we have them enroll their partner as if their dream for the world depends on it, and the difference is noticeable. They say things like, “When they started the first time, I wasn’t that interested, but by the time they got to doing it as if the world could work, they were so passionate, so enthusiastic, and I couldn’t help but be enrolled…”

And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; That ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings Ye are only in the service of your God. (Book of Mormon Mosiah 2:17)

Until you become a candlelight standing for all of us, your light is not on.

Purpose as a Vehicle

If you do take on the highest context; one that includes the whole - then the Purpose, the Vision, becomes a Vehicle - a horse, a plane, a ship, which carries you to YOUR dreams YOUR success, YOUR love life and everything that YOU want. Why walk uphill, when you can glide on your vehicle downhill. The question is HOW can we make the best use of our time that will have the most leverage? How can we spend our precious time in which we will successfully build what it is that we want to leave behind? The answer is this: Most of what we will accomplish we will accomplish through conversations. Conversations with the right people. Conversations with those who can make the project a success. Conversations that tell the Truth - Conversations that matter. Conversations that create results. The most sacred conversation you can have in the next generation will be that conversation where we enroll the people with the power and influence into the wholehearted desire to make a difference- to be interested, committed and dedicated to make the world work. One powerful way to do this is to enroll them into the gift of our Time- transformational experiences. We can enroll them into any profoundly moving experiential processes, retreats or courses that truly awaken the wholehearted desire to make a real difference. We can enroll them into any experience or transformational shift that awakens the deeper truth within us all – in which we yearn to bring our human family home, free from scarcity, starvation and lack. My personal commitment is to enroll these powerhouse people into the Awakening Retreat and in the retreat I'm going to enroll them into making the world work, into bringing our whole human family home.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 218 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

My Quest - The Ten Foot Tall Warrior – Possibilities for our Future Years ago I realized a gift in myself, an ability that has grown as I have progressed in my life experience, and my experience of my own being. I am a Being that has the ability to see and create extra-ordinary visions and experiences. I then translate them into seminars and processes that heal and empower people. I have had experiences I cannot explain logically, which leave most people’s concept of ordinary reality behind. The following is such an example, and as much as it did not make logical sense, it was a profoundly moving experience of a vision. Some two weeks before the experience I’m about to share with you, a vision came to me in which there were two faces in front of me. I recognized both of these faces were parts of myself. One was a Christ-like face of Love and the other was “the Warrior,” incredibly and fiercely powerful and 10 feet tall! I thought it was interesting that I saw 2 such distinct faces of myself in front of me. I didn’t think any more of it until this event happened. In the 1980s, when I was facilitating a workshop at a noted University, one participant was a young single woman I will call Dori. Her parents had traumatized her. As a child, she was so hyper that she was tied up in her dad's neckties to the bed in order to keep her still. During this workshop as she was experiencing a breakthrough process on this traumatic moment, she got stuck. At the moment Dorianne got stuck, the 10 foot tall warrior seemed to arise within me and I experienced myself as my eyes looking down from the ceiling. I somehow knew that the next thing out of my mouth would work to assist her in breaking through. I found myself saying very powerfully “Dorianne, come home,” and she burst into tears. She realized she had lived her life bound by the emotional chains created in her past. And now she felt free and had a profound experience of being let out of the cage of fear and doubt on an unprecedented level. She was able to finish the breakthrough process. Since I had just experienced myself as the 10-foot tall warrior and my eyes were still looking at the scene from a view near the ceiling— I was quite freaked out. So I quickly, wrapped up the workshop, and I went home. My sister was at my house and the moment I saw her and felt safe … I wept uncontrollably. In my tears I had a fascinating vision of the future. I told my sister the visions I was seeing. I saw an explosion of healing and empowerment technologies in a wave of love and light coming to our planet, Over the next decades a wave of inner work, empowerment, healing and transformation transfiguring our world.

In Medicine- as it is predicted we will cure all major diseases within a few decades

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 219 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo In Business; when Major Corporations not only get behind causes for show, but they truly are interested, committed and dedicated to creating a world that works for everyone.

In the Movie Industry: as more and more movies show the results of healing and transformation, like "Good Will Hunting" and "Field of Dreams"

I envisioned Families transforming- through whole cable channels dedicated to transformational tools for families.

I envisioned Computers evolving until most children had not only a Nintendo for games – but also had a tablet size lap top computer that used little credit card sized programs to access a holographic 3 dimensional teacher, healer and facilitators which could take them through profoundly transformational "Breakthrough processes" right in their own living room.

I envisioned the End of Hunger, which a 17th century poet once described as "creating the biggest spiritual explosion the world has ever seen."

I saw other visions unfolding in the future. My sister loved what I was seeing.

Although I had this vision in the 1980's, everything predicted in the future today is now validating the accuracy of this vision. On a website called "The Shift" proponents have gathered research that shows that:

The top in demand jobs in 2010 did not exist in 2004! We must currently prepare students for jobs that don't even yet exist, using technologies that haven't been invented in order to solve problems we don't yet understand. The number of text messages sent every day exceeds the entire population of the planet (almost Seven billion people). The new information on the planet will double every 72 hours starting in 2010 Our world is changing exponentially - consider that 40 million laptop computers were shipped worldwide in 2008 and predictions are that by 2013, a supercomputer will exceed the computation ability of the human brain. It is predicted that by 2049 a $1000 computer will exceed the computation capabilities of the entire human race!

Futurist Ray Kurzweil predicts that the computing power that increased 1 million fold in the last 40 years will happen again within 20 years. That computers will be the size of cells in our body and that disease will be eradicated, that we will all be able to be genius I.Q. and have the athletic ability of Olympic athletes. Most futurists predict that the speed of the changes means that it is literally impossible to predict what is possible for our human family within the next century.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 220 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Here are two quotes that speak to this entire notion. One is from George Bernard Shaw and one from me:

"The True Joy in Life" by George Bernard Shaw

This is the true joy in life The being used for a purpose Recognized by yourself as a mighty one. The being a force of nature Instead of a feverish, selfish little clod Of ailments and grievances, Complaining that the world will not devote itself To making you happy.

I am of the opinion That my life belongs to the whole community. And as long as I live it is my privilege, My privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake.

Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch, Which I've got to make burn as brightly as possible Before handing it on to future generations.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 221 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Love is the Truth

Truth without love is a lie. Love is the truth. Spend your time only with those who love you. Seek out the truth only from these. Love without truth is a lie. Truth is love. The truth of those who love you gives you the space to be. Given the space to be we can learn how to be. We can learn the true nature and joys of being. In the joys of being, all things will come to you. All love, all wisdom, all success will come, To the extent that you can learn true being. Being is not trying to be. Being is the essence of play. To play is to be. Being is freedom, no matter the cage or limitation. Being is fulfilled while it includes all thoughts and feelings, and gets stuck in none. Being is self -- the individual self that is the channel to the infinite, absolute self. By being "true" to one's self we access the door, The channel to infinite self, To the source of all being. In being, every right now is the opportunity to love. Gary Acevedo

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 222 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Epilogue:

I remember after my first Breakthrough at Cedu Foundation, that my whole world had transformed beyond words. It simply cannot be put into words when your entire reality transforms. I remember thinking that perhaps 100 years from now if Mel’s work spread then perhaps the world could work. It was the first time this idea occurred to me. What I didn’t know was how many people around the world were actually doing profound life-changing work similar to Mel Wasserman. In the best-selling book the Aquarian Conspiracy the author portrays thousands of people taking on truly inspiring causes that ignite love and light. I know that when people use any of these Seven Master Keys, they step out of fear and into love. I believe that when any of us expresses even an ounce of love and light; when we apologize or when we show random acts of kindness or clean up a mess with a loved one… that we actually affect and transform the entire universe for all of time. When you have the courage to go from fear to love, you become a voice for the sacred. This is when spirit can speak through you. When spirit speaks through you, what speaks through you will move mountains. When spirit speaks through you, what speaks through you will heal, inspire & lift people When spirit speaks through you, what speaks through you will change people’s lives. When spirit speaks through you, what speaks through you will create your dreams, your visions When spirit speaks through you, what speaks through you will bring to the world your gift, your message, your song, When spirit speaks through you, what speaks through you will create your fondest visions for humanity, the best you can imagine. What is the best you can imagine? How about "Heaven on Earth?"

That is your mission, your purpose, your joy and destiny. Thank you for letting me be a gift to you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 223 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo About the Author:

Over the years Gary's expertise has been focused on the design of personal effectiveness and empowerment seminars and retreats. He has become recognized as a world-class trainer of trainers, founding Dream Makers Academy; one of the most advanced and intensive training programs in the country for facilitators, coaches and trainers. He has lead seminars since 1970, and immersed himself in a myriad of cutting edge empowerment technologies. Client successes include the World Futures Conference on Education, the 10 state Regional Conference for the Division of Rehabilitation, leading Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" course, leading Career Track’s “Self-Discipline and Emotional Control,” being chosen by the Utah Governors Commission to design the state wide Victims Rights Conference, the training of trainers for AT&T, Mass Mutual, consulting with Xerox, Einstein Bagels, members of the 1992 and 2000 Olympics, designing training for Franklin Covey and others including VitalSmarts (Consultants to the Fortune 500, and invited to advise Gorbachev before the fall). In 1981, he founded the unique family oriented retreat known as "The Awakening.” We are convinced this retreat accomplishes as much personal healing and empowerment as any retreat or seminar, anywhere! Gary has also discovered a few totally unique innovations. The implications of these innovations are so profound we can hardly contain our excitement for them. Many of our participants are successful, high-powered individuals who like many of us have seen most every workshop out there! Over and over again, they tell us, there is nothing like the retreat anywhere!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 224 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo References and Quotations:

"A World That Works for Everyone," Werner Erhard, San Francisco: est, an educational corporation, 1980 (audiocassette)

"The End of Starvation: Creating an Idea Whose Time Has Come," by Werner Erhard, The Hunger Project, San Francisco, 1982.

As Morpheus says to Neo in the movie The Matrix, “…it is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth…”

"Except ye become as little children, ye may not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened… “ Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author (1835 - 1910)

“Hold fast to the center…” The Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu (600 B.C.)

"… to thine own self be true." William Shakespeare

“It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson in “Self-Reliance”

“Speak what you think now in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today. - "Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood." - Is it so bad to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” Ralph Waldo Emerson in “Self-Reliance”

"Ask and it shall be given to you…" Jesus of Nazareth

“For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.” -Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 225 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo

"When you pretend to be O.K. you don't believe you are O.K. If you could admit that you are not O.K. you would get it that you are O.K. You're O.K. get it!" Werner Erhard

A warrior-hunter knows that his death is waiting, and the very act he is performing now may well be his last battle on earth. He calls it a battle because it is a struggle. Most people move from act to act without any struggle or thought. A warrior-hunter, on the contrary, assesses every act; and since he has intimate knowledge of his death, he proceeds judiciously, as if every act were his last battle. Only a fool would fail to notice advantage a warrior-hunter has over his fellow men. A warrior-hunter gives his last battle its due respect. It's only natural that his last act on earth should be the best of himself. It's pleasurable that way. It dulls the edge of his fright.

Carlos Castaneda

"Everything in your life is so because you say it is so." Werner Erhard

“I don't know what you destiny will be, but one thing I know, the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." - ALBERT SCHWEITZER

He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. (New Testament Matthew 10:39)

And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. (Book of Mormon Mosiah 2:17)

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 226 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 227 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo Back cover

Ignite the Gift You Are: 7 Master Keys to Awaken Your Passion Power and Profits

For over 40 years Gary has immersed himself in over 30 various cutting edge transformational empowerment technologies. His retreats are recognized nationally for being the pinnacle of healing and empowerment. He has inspired Olympic Athletes, Fortune 500 companies, bestselling authors and thousands to make significant contributions through his cutting edge tools.

Focus is Leverage. These 7 Master Key will move you from states of fear and doubt to productive states of passion, purpose, play and love.

• The Greatest Key to Influence • Your Greatest Challenges reflect your greatest gifts. • Problems as hidden treasures; The Power within our Perfection • How to Overcome Overwhelm and Procrastination • The key to never making a bad decision again! • Success in Relationships: The keys to healing and transforming relationships and building unprecedented intimacy • Higher Purpose: The greatest leverage for manifesting your vision. The art and science of knowing and living your purpose. • Guaranteed strategies to increase your income!

Original © November 1986 by Gary Acevedo 228 Current © March 2013 by Gary Acevedo