The Perfect Con Is One Where Everyone Involved Gets Just What They Wanted
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The perfect con is one where everyone involved gets just what they wanted. – The Brothers Bloom (directed by Rian Johnson, 2009) For the longest part of the voyage, the twenty-six 01/14 people on board the Zim Qingdao, a ten-year-old, 261-meter-long, 50,689-ton-capacity, Chinese- built container ship under a Liberian registration, included one Israeli captain, four Israeli officers, four Russian-Ukrainian-Israeli engineers, one Russian-Israeli electrician, one Bulgarian boatswain, seven deck workers – three from Sri Lanka, three from Ukraine, and one from Mari Bastashevski Myanmar – one Sri Lankan and one Bulgarian fitter, a Bulgarian cook, two stewards – a Sri Lankan and a Russian-Ukrainian – a cadet from The Perfect Con Israel, and a passenger whose duty cannot be publicly disclosed. The ship sailed through the Suez Canal, the Gulf of Aden, and the Strait of Malacca, callingÊat the ports of Odessa, Istanbul Ambar, Haifa, Nhava Sheva, Port Klang, Da Chan Bay, Pusan, and Shanghai. ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊThe announcement that an artist was coming on board reached the crew by fax, a one- way communication that was printed out and taped to the wall of the galley on B-deck, between the garbage disposal rules and an e- mail warning of the grave financial consequences for publishing images of the Suez Canal.1 Arriving the same day was a mournful warning about impending food rations. It had come to the attention of management that the i k s chef could make do with fewer vegetables than v e he had requested. Management would h s a t appreciate his economizing in these difficult s a times for the company. B i r ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊIn keeping with corporate protocol, no one a M Ê had asked the crew for their opinion on the 6 1 addition of the artist and they didn’t pay much 0 2 r attention to the memo. At a supplemental e b briefing, the captain announced that “a woman m e t artist” was coming aboard for “an exciting p e project sponsored by ZIM, which will be s — leveraged for public relations and marketing 5 7 purposes.” Two weeks into the trip the steward n # o l C pointed at the head shot of the artist on the a t n r c memo. “You are her?” he asked skeptically, “No u e f o r j e way!” As someone less exposed to what x P u l e f constitutes a “celebrity,” he couldn’t reconcile h - e T the print version with the real person. ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊZIM was founded in 1945 and quickly made a name for itself by transporting Jews to the land of Palestine and by offering luxurious sea cruises. In 1972, it entered the container shipping industry. For years the Israeli government steadily exercised more and more control over the company because of its perceived strategic value, but sold off its shares 09.18.16 / 18:22:45 EDT Tableware is one of many commonplace, household items labelled with a company logo on board of Zim Qingdao. During the passage through the gulf of Aden a telex on piracy news is resent up to three times a day to all ships in the area. 09.18.16 / 18:22:45 EDT in 2004 to the Israel Corporation, then under the When The Shakshuka System, an independent ownership of the Ofer Brothers Group.2 documentary that detailed the privatization ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊThe Ofer brothers – Sammy and Yuli – process in Israel, placed special emphasis on the founded the group in 1956,3 and at the time of Ofer-ZIM arrangement, the Ofers spent half-a- their deaths were counted among the richest million shekels to produce a counterpoint men in Israel.4 However, as part of a debt cartoon.15 Claiming to have been slandered, they restructuring arrangement in 2014,5 Idan Ofer6 also sued the filmmakers, a suit that the judge became CEO of a new entity, Kenon Holdings, 03/14 dismissed.16 No Israeli TV network, save for the registered in Singapore, which now holds a 32 national public broadcaster (IBA), airedÊThe percent interest in ZIM.7 The rest of the company Shakshuka System.17 was divided between a band of faceless bankers ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊBy these standards, the Container and shipyard executives. Residency production budget is a drop in the ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊAt present, ZIM has no Israeli registration. ocean. It would barely cover the costs incurred Until 2014, most of the Ofers’ businesses were by a one-hour delay in theÊship's schedule. ZIM’s operating under UK tax laws,8 which saved the office did not initiate the project – it was Ofer family “tens of millions of shekels a year” in conceived by a team of resident curators – but Israeli taxes.9 The company initially managed to the company has control over it. ZIM’s contract weather the global recession, but has done with the resident artist ensures that the poorly in recent years, reporting a net loss in the residency is a perfect PR opportunity for a first quarter of 2016.10 And so the employees company with a longstanding history of engaging don’t make professional plans ahead of their with cultural initiatives and many years of short-term contracts. experience in the kind of marketing that entails ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊAt first, the crew suspected that I was a rubbing shoulders with persons of note. corporate insider, placed to surveil and report ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ“Well, if you decide to protest against my back to management. They cordially kept their being here, I’ll support you,” I said to the deck distance. It wasn’t until four days into the trip, workers pondering the relationship between the well into the Black Sea, that their icy diplomacy company and the artist. “Don’t say that – even began to thaw. The electrician, hearing that I jokingly,” warned Alex, the night-duty officer. missed club soda, left a full pack of it by my “More than two conspiring on board a ship cabin, and the chief officer, Meir Dizraeli, taught constitutes a mutiny and can lead to very serious me how to make a monkey’s knot after I consequences!” Implausible accounts of one- remarked on his exceptional rigging skills. man riots followed, growing more dramatic with ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ“I’m É what’s the word? Perplexed?” said each recap. A female officer, Angela, once sued one of the Sri Lankan deck workers.“Why would for sexual harassment and won, after a deck i k the company sponsor an artist? And give the s worker threatened to throw himself overboard v proceeds to charity?11 Isn’t the company e out of love. Either that or she rejected his offer of h s a experiencing financial difficulty?” His monthly t money in exchange for sex. A bold Israeli cadet s salary is $400. a celebrated his graduation by jumping overboard B i ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ“What will the sailors get out of this r from the seventh deck while the ship was in a M exactly?” wondered an officer. “Can we at least Ê motion, wearing a full safety suit with his 6 see the artwork somewhere?” 1 passport and a radio and managing to activate 0 2 ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ“Aren’t you pretty critical of the company? r the ship’s emergency alarm. Later, in court, he e How will it be good for PR?” inquired the kitchen b argued that it was an accident rather than m e crew. t sabotage, and was allowed to stay on the job. p ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ“It doesn’t matter if her work is critical or e ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊLife on a container ship is highly s mediocre, her audience is too narrow anyway,” — choreographed and hierarchical. Each seafarer is 5 said an engineer whose mother was an art critic 7 under someone else’s command, but each also n # o l and who took on the task of translating between C relies on the others. The day-duty officers a t n r art-speak and sea-speak for me. “In the end all c depend on night-duty officers for shift wake-up u e f o r j that matters is the artist’s name next to the e calls, and on the stewards for maintaining x P u l e name of the company. That’s what they are f silence on the floor during diverse sleep h - paying for and that is what will be remembered.” e T patterns. The engineers and deck workers ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊThe Ofers’ investment in PR is considerable. depend on the officers for shore leave. Everyone The family gave £10 million to the Tate Modern in depends on the electrician with the keys to 2013 and £25 million to the London Business everything, and on the common sense of the School, the largest gift in its history.13 They captain to take notice only of what’s crucial to poured millions into restoring the famous clipper the welfare of the ship, while pretending to be ship Cutty Sark, which among other acts of resting for the bulk of the voyage. The crew has maritime preservation earned the late Sammy no choice but to dance with each other, hands Ofer a knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II.14 roped together, knots all the way down. 09.18.16 / 18:22:45 EDT Conference room at Zim Shipping Head Office, Haifa. A photograph of the bas-relief Friendship and its author hangs next to the woodcarving on the hallway of Zim Head Office in Haifa and “commemorates ZIM’s involvement in the creation of a national cargo carrier in Ghana, the Black Star Line, founded in 1957.” 09.18.16 / 18:22:45 EDT Sunset in the gulf of Aden, as witnessed during the weekly barbecue on g-deck.