THE QUALITY STUDENT AT THE

THE MI TRE Vol. III, No. 1 OCTOBER 1, 2004 - St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Edmund Campion Forty Pence PARLIAMENT BANS HUNTING UNIVERSITY INTENDS TO WITH HOUNDS SELL HAMILTON HALL BLOOD IN THE Iconic Hall Will Be STREETS OF Hotel Again in 2006 WESTMINSTER Staff of the Mitre THE COMMONS has THE UNIVERSITY has voted to ban hunting with made known that it intends hounds, and the Prime to sell the Hamilton Hall Minister has said that he student residence to a intends to make use of the development group. The Parliament Act to overrule developers would likely any dissent from the House return the Hall to its of Lords and force the bill previous function as a hotel. into law. The plan would A protest of provide for replacement countryside and other pro- accomodation for the 110 hunting people in students housed in Parliament Square turned Hamilton before the Hall is violent, alledgedly in actually sold. However, it is HAMILTON HALL: Built in 1896, Student Residence since 1949 response to heavy-handed not clear where this “new- others, disagree, claiming seminary use, but the police tactics. build accomodation” will be that although the University concept provoked much Only minutes located and there are has only owned Hamilton latent anti-Catholicism in before the bill was read, a significant doubts as to Hall for some fifty-odd the townsfolk, and the Hall handful of protestors whether they will have the years, its iconic presence on was eventually sold to the stormed the Commons same town centre the Scores and approximate University in 1949. chamber from a narrow convenience that Hamilton to the Royal and Ancient A group called the staircase behind the currently enjoys. Golf Club have made it Hamilton Hall Protest Speaker’s chair. The fact Derek Watson, the representative of the Committee has been that a number of people Factor & Quaestor, claims University. founded to oppose the were able to penetrate deep that Hamilton Hall “does The Hall was built administration’s objective of into the heart of the Palace not form part of what the in 1896 as the Grand Hotel, selling the centrally-located of Westminster raised university regards as its and functioned as such until hall of residence. It has so significant security irreducible core of historic the mid-1940’s. The far been led by Students concerns that almost properties.” Archdiocese of St Andrews Association official and overshadowed the ban. However, a number and Edinburgh then ambitious New Englander, EDITORIAL, page X of students, as well as planned on purchasing it for Mr. Preston J. Byrne. inside THE MITRE News I-III BLOOD OF SAN GENNARO LIQUIFIES YET AGAIN The dried blood of an to liquid. the intercession of the saint. Features IV-V Italian saint martyred in 305 The event happened The blood once In The Colleges VI-VII liquified last week – as on the saint’s feast day, unexpectedly liquified in expected. September 19. The same 1978 upon the visit of Leisurely Pursuits VIII Cardinal Michele happens on at least two Terence Cooke, the saintly Social Report IX Giordano, Archbishop of other occasions in the year, Archbishop of New York. Opinion & Comment X Naples, announced to the first weekend in May, The last time the crowds in Naples that the and December 16. The expected liquification did Bejants Guide XI-XII congealed blood of St latter marks the anniversary not occur was when Naples the Mitre of St Andrews, 2004 Januarius, which is kept in a of the 1631 eruption of elected a Communist For God, Country, and St Andrews glass reliquary, had turned Mount Vesuvius, ended by mayor. II THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS PATRIARCH Bradley Takes the THE MI TRE DEAD IN CRASH PETROS OF ALEXANDRIA, Beeb on Pilgrimage COMPANIONS, LOST IN THE REV. Dr. Ian Bradley has led a pilgrimage FALLEN HELICOPTER to Santiago de Compostela THREE DAYS of organised by BBC Radio 4. mourning have been held in Dr. Bradley Greece after the helicopter preached on Wednesday, carrying the Patriarch of September 22nd, in the Alexandria plunged into daily worship program on the sea, killing all on board. Radio 4, and then is Patriarch Petros scheduled to broadcast the VII, 55, was travelling to Sunday Worship program the monastic republic of from the Cathedral and Mount Athos, a famous Shrine of St. James in the centre of Eastern Spanish city. Dr. Bradley Orthodoxy. The helicopter plans to reflect on the came down 20 miles off spiritual side to pilgrimage the coast and in good and on what has inspired weather conditions. No pilgrimage throughout the cause has been established. centuries. All 17 people on Dr. Bradley is board were killed, lecturer in theology and PILGRIMAGE: St Andrews was visited by thousands of including Metropolitans church history at St. Mary’s pilgrims, as seen in this illustration by Jurek Putter. Irinaios of Pelusium and College in the University. Andrews – the ‘Jerusalem them to victory. Chrysostomos of Kartha- He is highly-regarded in of the North’ – was second In fact, St. James is gena, Bishop Nektarios of the fields of British and only to Santiago during its honoured every year on his Madagascar, the patriarchal Celtic Christianity, as well own pilgrim days. feast day in a ceremony by vicars of Athens and as worship and hymnody Indeed, Dr. Bradley the Spanish Armed Forces Cyprus, as well as family (having published a very says that “St Andrews is at a statue portraying him HAMILTON HALL: Built in 1896, Student Residence since 1949 and associates of the popular book on and of very much like Santiago in over the severed heads of Patriarch, and crew. hymns). terms of being one of the the defeated Moors. On Petros VII was the Santiago de great medieval pilgrimage one occasion during 129th successor to the Compostela is a Catholic centres of the world.” Franco’s rule, the devout evangelist St. Mark, who shrine dedicated to the St. James is widely caudillo could not make the founded the Patriarchate Apostle James, whose adored in Spain even today, annual ceremony, and so of Alexandria in 42 AD. As relics, so it is told, are kept as the ‘Matamoros’ or actually sent one of his a leader of Christians in within the Cathedral. For Moor-slayer. It is alledged Moorish generals as his countries with Muslim much of the past that during the Christian personal representative. majorities, he was noted millenium, it was reconquest of the Iberian Priests at the shrine for passionately promoting considered the premier peninsula, St. James thought it prudent to place respect between the two shrine in Christendom. It appeared to inspire the a covering on the severed groups. was often said that St Christian forces and lead heads of the Moors. ‘Passion’ Priest Suspended by Cardinal THE PRIEST who daily Masses for the and his supporters in saying the old rite that celebrated the Latin schismatic Society of St. refused to accept the the Society was Tridentine Mass on the Pius X. liturgical changes that excommunicated by set of The Passion has The Society of St. followed the Second Pope John Paul II in been suspended from Pius X is considered not Vatican Council, which 1988. The old rite is now duties. to be in full communion closed in 1965, and said again in some Father Stephen with the Holy See, after continued to say the mainstream Catholic Somerville has been the founder of the traditional rite of Mass in parishes. forbidden from saying Society, Archbishop Latin in accordance with An approved, or Mass by Cardinal Marcel Lefebvre the old liturgical books. ‘indult’ old rite mass is Aloysius Ambrozic, the consecrated bishops It was, however, now active in this Archbishop of Toronto, without Vatican approval for the illicit Archdiocese at St. after it was discovered in 1988. consecration of bishops Andrew’s Church in that he was saying Msgr. Lefebvre rather than for persisting Edinburgh. THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS III. OBITUARY Rev’d Prof. William McKane Former Principal of St Mary’s College and Dean of Divinity b. 18 February 1921 d. 4 September 2004 The Revd William McKane was Professor of Hebrew and Oriental Languages at St. Mary’s College from 1968 until his retirement in 1990. He was born in Dundee and was brought up in the Original Succession Church (whose eventual reconciliation with the Church of Scotland came about in part due to his efforts). He served in the RAF from 1941 to 1945, then took an honours degree in philosophy and English at the University of St Andrews. He was ordained in the Original College he also served as Introduction and to the publisher. The Succession Church in Principal of the College Commentary (1998). passage he was working 1949 (moving to the and as Dean of the He received many on when the end came Church of Scotland in Faculty of Divinity. He honors, including the seems somehow fitting: 1956), and completed a was also a major presidency of the Society Listen, Job, and attend first-class honours international authority for Old Testament to me; be silent, and let degree in Semitics at and prolific writer on the Study, appointment as a me speak. If you have Glasgow University, prophetic wisdom Fellow of the British anything to say, answer followed by a PhD at the literature of the Hebrew Academy, and a me; speak, for I shall gladly find you proved same institution under Bible. During his career Festschrift on his sixty- right. But if you have Professor Mullo Weir. he published Prophets fifth birthday. He was an nothing, then listen to Before taking up and Wise Men (1965); I & avid sportsman, playing me; and be silent, and I the chair at the II Samuel (1966); rugby into his sixties, and shall teach you wisdom. University of St Andrews, Proverbs: A New Approach a member of the Royal (Job 33:31-33 REB) he taught at Glasgow (1970); Studies in the and Ancient Golf Club. Professor McKane is University as part-time Patriarchal Narratives Up to the day before his survived by his wife of assistant in Hebrew (1979); Jeremiah 1-25 death he was working on more than half a century, beginning in 1953, then (1986); Selected Christian a commentary on the Agnes, and their three as Lecturer and Senior Hebraists (1989); A Late book of Job, the first sons and two daughters. Lecturer. While a Harvest (1995); Jeremiah volume of which had Dr. James R. Davila professor at St Mary’s 26-52 (1996); and Micah: already been turned over School of Divinity New Monthly Magazine in the Works A NEW magazine is to Hughes, alledged film it?” says the young at the University of St be founded by and theatre reviewer Miss Hughes. Andrews. University students. for the Mitre, is also The Hatstand “Anyway, it’s To be called the alledge to be the will join this paper, as going to be grand,” the Hatstand, it is to mastermind of the new well as the Saint, the young Miss Hughes concentrate on film, monthly. satiricial Chihuahua, later proclaimed. theatre, culture, arts, “It’s going to be and the stop-and-go Those willing to and various random kitsch, but not that Union magazine, the work on the Hatstand things of interest. kitsch, because kitsch Vine among the may contact Miss Margaret ‘Bex’ is kind of kitsch, isn’t plethora of periodicals Hughes via the Mitre. THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS IV THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS features&opinion Scotsman Tuition Problem Needs Goes Tab: Hogwash! Conservative Solution Tab Fad Captures Yalie Adam Maxwell Jenkins argues that the funding National Rag crisis in British higher education needs a conservative solution. by ANDREW CUSACK Everyone who goes to Yale The dispicable already knows just how fetish of tabloid editions expensive – some say currently exhibited by outrageous – tuition fees the myriad publications have become in the last which call themselves decade. Indeed, the latest daily in this adjustments in the fee country is to be structure for the deplored. The Scotsman, forthcoming year by nearly a once quality paper, has all of the universities in the Ivy League make it not now given in to the extraordinary for students demon of tabloid to pay upwards of temptation and given up $40,000 per year in broadsheetism. tuition, housing and living Now, one might expenses. Although U.S. think this not precisely a universities tend to soften bad thing. Tabloids are some of the costs with easier to handle, after all. robust financial aid And it’s still the same packages, this has not newspaper, just printed changed the fact that they differently. But within a remain among the priciest in the world. month of going tab the It may come as a Scotsman began to feature surprise to learn that a imbicilic single headlines similar controversy has consisting of words with arisen over rising tuition at few syllables. U.K. universities. But The ‘compact’ while in the States we are TOO DARN CHEAP. British universities are underfunded. edition of the Times, as accustomed to berating among the British Labour output. None of the elite they would have us call costs in the range of tens of party and its constituencies U.K. institutions can boast their tabloid, sometimes thousands of dollars, that it threatens the of figures akin to the slashes articles in half – British students are in an solidarity of the Blair enormous endowments of even leaders. The uproar over a proposed majority and strikes deeply most American schools, government plan to raise at the stability of the nor can they afford to Guardian, in the full fees to merely £3,000! This government. Throughout maintain their buildings ‘stuff-England-lets-be- represents a relatively the controversy, British and equipment at a time European’ spirit is substantial increase from dissidents have looked to when Yale is undergoing a converting not to a the previous level of £1,125 the higher education multi - million dollar tabloid format but to per year, but British tuition system in the States as a renovation of many of its what it calls ‘Berliner’ is still only a fraction of the model for reform. classrooms and colleges. format after the cost of what American Britain’s tradition Moreover, since Britain has newspapers of that students pay for their of low tuition fees has tended not to exhibit the Teutonic metropole. It’s higher education. Even if meant that universities in tradition of alumni giving all scandal. Within a few you double British tuition the have which figures vitally in the years there will be no and compare it to what a the unfortunate tradition financial strategy of U.S. U.S. student with the most of chronic under-funding, universities, British schools broadsheets left but the generous financial aid including schools such as have nowhere to turn to steady yet dumbed-down package will pay, British Oxford and Cambridge, satisfy their mounting Telegraph, and perhaps tuition remains far cheaper. which stand beside Yale in debts, which most the even more dumbed- Nonetheless, this proposal terms of international estimates place at £10 down Times. Shameful. has proven so divisive prestige and scholarly billion. With its excess of THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS V.

$10 billion (about £6 and many other British billion) in endowments, universities have an Yale by comparison seems enormously rich history, to have fewer worries. but their ability to Bonn How did this maintain themselves in the happen? What lessons can spirit of that history is very we take from the failure of rapidly slipping away. VOYAGE British education? Surely, Of course, it is not the U.S. system is hardly only the problem of S t u a r t P a t e r s o n satisfactory; many qualified donations which shall have students cannot afford to to be addressed. Remember Anyone who has played a which looks after the 1980’s version of Trivial interests of Europe’s bat go to college, and certainly that the main issue facing Pursuit will have stumbled population. For those reasons, almost all must rely policymakers in the UK is across the question regarding one cannot help but feel primarily on family or the tuition fees, which is a the capital of West sorry for Bonn. institutions themselves parallel but distinct Germany. You will have My first glimpse of (rather than the problem all its own. watched as your friend the town was on a stiflingly government) to pay. Because of their hesitated to say Berlin and hot day in August. I had As for the causes of meager endowments, began to run through the instructions to get off the the lack of alumni British universities must major West German cities: airport shuttle bus at the donations in British charge higher tuition rates Hamburg, Munich and former Finance Ministry. I universities, much of the to ensure the upkeep of Cologne. “Frankfurt!” they was somewhat dismayed shout, anticipating the when the bus hurtled past guilt goes to the socialist- their facilities and the imminent awarding of the the stop. I ran down to the informed tax policies which continued excellence of blue piece of pie which driver. “Why did you not the British government has their programs. Otherwise, would enable them to travel stop?” I asked, trying not to adopted on and off since they simply cannot remain up to the centre of the board panic. World War II. The competitive with American and await their final question. “You didn’t ring the reckless taxation of institutions, which charge Their face will have then bell,” replied the driver, individuals in wealthier students five to ten times turned to one of despondency never once taking his eyes income brackets has led more and possess and confusion after you off the road. This was my many to turn elsewhere endowments billions of informed them that the first brush with the with their money and dollars greater. To prevent correct answer was in fact confusion that is Bonn’s Bonn. public transport system, virtually all middle-class skyrocketing tuition rates, For over forty years where you are only required citizens to cease donating British universities must the town was the, somewhat to show your pass after 9 to academic institutions restore the tradition of unlikely, capital of Europe’s o’clock at night, but cannot what little income they alumni donations – and this dominant state. From 1949, then alight using the front were spared by the will demand more its inhabitants included door; where buses run every government. The conservative political Presidents, Chancellors and ten minutes except between consequence of these strategies. Instead of Ambassadors. Courts, minist- 11am and noon; where random policies for higher providing higher education ries and embassies stood old ladies will start talking education was the to everyone, while forcing alongside the prestigious about the unusual colour of complete abolition of the taxpayers to pick up the university and the ancient your hair as if you are not cathedral. Members of Parl- sitting next to them. alumni consciousness bill, inevitably resulting in iament, diplomats, journalists Eventually the driver let me typical in America: nearly less investment of taxpayer and an army of civil servants off somewhere near the town no one is interested in capital back into the shared the town with centre, leaving me to work charitable donations to universities, the British 40,000 students and a out how to get myself and universities, not even to government should move seemingly infinite number of my rather large case back to Oxford and Cambridge, to privatize higher bratwurst vendors. Then the Ministry. Then it who only now have begun education. suddenly, amidst the dawned on me, I had arrived to court graduates and re- The British public euphoria that accompanied in the town which would be establish “diplomatic ties” must realize the vast the fall of the Berlin Wall my home for the next year. with its broad and no- discrepancies between and the historic unification Over the next year, of Germany, it was decided I will provide regular updates doubt very successful base U.K. and U.S. higher that all of this should end. on life in Germany. You will of alumni in the world education, both in terms of By 1999 Berlin had emerged find out why the ladies of over. quality and cost, and from underneath a canopy of Bonn travel to Cologne every But the problem recognize that there is a cranes to once again be the Saturday to buy their shoes, remains. At a recent determinate correlation political centre of Germany, why you should always let a fundraiser at King’s between these two leaving Bonn to console itself Turk cut your hair if he College, nearly no one features. Tuition policy has with being the home to the offers (except on a Monday), seemed keen to participate a real impact on the kind Ministry of International and why the recycling of a in the auction, which was of individual produced at Development, the Ivorian tea bag requires four held to raise money for the the end of the college... embassy and the different rubbish bins. Until headquarters of Eurobats, then, Bonn voyage! chapel and choir. Oxbridge Con’t on Page XI THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS UNITEDUNITED COLLEGECOLLEGE OFOF STST SALVATORSALVATOR ANDAND STST LEONARDLEONARD In The WHAT’S GOING ON IN AND AROUND Every Thursday Compline Evening prayers, usually followed by drinks at the Byre. PARLIAMENT HALL 10:00pm, St. Leonard’s Chapel News of the Union Debating Society Miss Alexandra Jennings September 2004 The new academic year saw the truly, Miss Alexandra Jennings, Sunday, 26 return of the Overseas Debate and Clerk-to-the-House, spoke in University Chapel the grand tradition of a full Opposition. The University Chaplain, the Rev. chamber. The first debate was on Mr. Dyson’s case weighed Dr. James Walker, preaching. (Sherry afterwards in the Hebdomodar’s Sunday, 19 September, on the heavily on his suggestion that Room). motion This House Would Tony Blair should become the 11:00am, St. Salvator’s Chapel Recolonise America featuring four third presidential candidate in the august and respected members of U.S.’s November elections. The Wednesday, 29 the University community. Mr. House obviously disliked this idea St. Michael and All Angels Matthew Dyson, former Serjeant- and voted down this motion. Can We Prove the Existence of at-Arms, and Ian McFarlane, vice- Wednesday saw the God? Fr. Patrick Burke, the legendary president of the Conservative and meeting of the annual Freshers’ former convenor of the Debation Unionist Association spoke in Debate on the motion This House Society, returns to St Andrews yet proposition. Mr. Ralph Covino, Would Leave Before Breakfast. again to explicate God, Life, and senior officer of The speakers were old favourites Understanding to the students and Services Committee and Father-of- of the Union Debating Society. In community of the University. Not to be missed. the-House designate, and yours Proposition were Mr. Tobias Joss, The Catholic Society 8.00pm, Canmore, 24 the Scores Fr. Luiz Ruscillo of Blackpool, a This House Would Say No to popular speaker from the last Europe Thursday, 28 academic year. Brave New World? Speakers from the United Kingdom The Catholic Society. Patrick Cusworth of the human Independence Party and Britain in 8:00pm, Canmore, 24 the Scores dignity charity Life speaks on the Europe, as well as students, will pitfalls of cloning and embryonic debate the said motion. research. The Union Debating Society 8:00pm, Canmore, 24 the Scores 8:00pm, Parliament Hall, South St. Wednesday, 13 Stem-cell Debate The Union Debating Society hosts October 2004 a debate sponsored by the Catholic Society on the morality of Wednesday, 6 embryonic stem-cell research. Original Sin: Human Yet Flawed 8:00pm, Parliament Hall, South St. AND ST.ST. MARY’SMARY’S COLLEGE,COLLEGE, SCHOOLSCHOOL OFOF DIVINITYDIVINITY Colleges THE UNIVERSITY OF ST ANDREWS Prayer Requests

FOR ELIZABETH, OUR QUEEN, may she govern wisely, be resolute in leadership, and amply follow Your will. For Anthony, our Prime former Treasurer of the Society remarks directed at the lady Clerk- Minister, may he foster a culture and now at the alledge University to-the-House by Mr. Findlay, the of life in this realm, and defend it from all who wish it harm. of Glasgow, Mr. Eliot Wilson, speeches were of a high quality and For Keith Patrick, our Cardinal outgoing Father-of-the-House, and very humourous. Archbishop, may he minister Mr. Ewan Duthie, former A full schedule of wisely, be a bastion of orthodoxy, Association President. upcoming debates is available on and propagate the Gospel in our Archdiocese. In Opposition were Mr. the Union Debating Society For Sir Clement, our Lord Donald Findlay, QC, Honorary message board at Rector, may he justly represent President of the Society and http://www.thesinner.net. the students of this University. For Brian, our Vice-Chancellor ‘disgraced former Lord Rector of and Principal, may he conduct the the University’, Mr. Hugh Martin affairs of this University with of the School of English, and Mr. love, prudence, foresight, and in the light of Faith. Alistair Pugh, former Serjeant-at- For this University, may we Arms and founding member of the promote wisdom, life, and love, celebrated Strafford Club. and continue to answer Your call as did Your Apostle Andrew. It was a full house and despite some wildly inappropriate For the repose of the soul of Gloria Steiner, the recently deceased grandmother of a St Andrean.

For these people, we humbly beg pardon for their sins and ours, and we pray that our lives might reflect Your everlasting dominion.

GLORY BE TO THE FATHER AND TO THE SON AND TO THE MITRE would like to thank our supporters for their generosity: THE HOLY GHOST, AS IT Mr. Yusuke Osawa, Mr. Stefano Costanzo, WAS IN THE BEGINNING, IS NOW, AND EVER SHALL BE, 2Lt. Christopher Cruden, Miss. Victoria WORLD WITHOUT END. Truett AMEN. VIII THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS LEISURELY PURSUITS Eudaemonia A Kettle-full of History Cigars Beyond David Montfort Vinton explores the origins of Britain’s favourite drink. Tea, like all of life’s The tale from India he returned to the same Cuba finest pleasures, has a rich is that of the fervent Prince spot, only to find that they with David Bean history. Three nations lay Bodhi-Dharma, who was so had grown into a bush. He I don't like the Bush claim to having discovered keen to promote chewed some leaves, and administration. I have the wondrous herb, and Buddhism, he set off on a found that it kept his eyes several reasons for this, have differing stories as to quest northwards to spread open, and told his followers but one of the more how it was discovered. the word. He vowed that in all about it. recent is its scandalous According to his seven-year pilgrimage However, seeing as treatment of the Cuban- Chinese legend, the great that he would not sleep or his own self-mutilation had American community. herbalist Emperor Shen rest. meant that his eyes stayed Under new rules, the right Nung (a precursor of Alan open anyway, this story of these individuals to Titchmarsh) sat in his seems a little strange. But visit the folks back home garden, boiling some water. full credit to Prince Bodhi- has been severely Practically, he insisted that Dharma, the only man to curtailed, representing the all of his subjects boiled discover tea twice! shameful back-stabbing of their water before they So whether you a group that drank, assuring that they drink an infusion of Shen overwhelmingly voted for would avoid any infections Nung’s garden litter, a Bush in the 2000 in the water. religious stimulant or a cup election. However, a breeze of eyelids this week, spare a This 'reform' is rippling through the leaves thought for the two but the latest in a long above him knocked some gentlemen who discovered line of wrong-headed dried leaves into his cup of this fascinating plant. And measures taken by the US water. Being an audacious if you are looking for short against the Caribbean chap, he tasted it and was stories to read whilst nation since its filled with a Shen Nung enjoying a cup of tea, then communist revolution in tremendous sense of Naturally, after five there is a fine selection on the late 1950s: rather than well-being. No years he was flagging that most modern encouraging Cuba to open wonder why – he had somewhat. Stopping off at contraption, the internet, up to the outside world, drank the first a roadside, he casually at www.stashtea.com/ the US has succeeded cup of tea. chewed on some leaves stories.htm. only in isolating it further. from a bush, when It would also be a As far as ordinary suddenly he felt awake and shame not to tell you of an Americans are concerned, invigorated. The amazing astonishing new gin that I the most visible effect of properties of this tea have discovered over the their government's stance helped him keep his vow, course of the holiday. is the embargo on all and he introduced not only Called Van Gogh, it is a imports from Cuba, India to Buddhism, but delicate and smooth spirit including one of the also to the finest that I have no hesitation in country's premier under- accompaniment to short- recommending to you. the-counter purchases: bread and buttered scones. On the subject of Havana cigars. The people of gin, the ladies of Vauxhall Consequently, the Japan tell a different tale, in the 1800’s were rather American cigar market of the infamous Prince vexed by the heavy drinking has evolved quite Bodhi-Dharma. A of many men, and in differently to that of this passionate fellow, particular the large gin country. Instead of the he fell asleep after intake. So these temperate familiar Cuban fayre, law- three years and ladies decided to set up tea abiding Americans gene- dreamt about all meetings all around the rally smoke tobaccos from the past love country to wean men off Honduras, Nicaragua, the interests of his life. gin, and move them onto Dominican Republic and On waking, he tea instead. Hence the Connecticut, creating became so furious with origin of the word, such vast demand that it his inability to deal with ‘teetotal’. is difficult to source good the opposite sex that he History, it seems, is non-Cuban cigars any- cut off his own eyelids, and not without its sense of Con’t on next page buried them. A year later humour. THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS IX. Fashion Report The Return of Sartorial Autumn by MISS LAURA WILSON Fashion Editor Autumn is my favourite St Andrean season for one main reason. When the North Sea wind blows icily across these three streets and there are crisp golden leaves underfoot, my favourite things start emerging from wardrobes and drawers all over our little town. There is no more delightful a sound than soft lambs wool in shades of navy and racing green being slowly unfolded from sheets of crisp tissue paper; no better smell than that of freshly polished black patent shoes being worn for the first time after their summer hibernation; no better sight than that staple of winter elegance, the cashmere © Doubting Hall Productions overcoat, draped gently with the blues and white of an Autumn is the time for the annual return to thick and comfortable fabrics. undergraduate scarf. Wilson and his scarlet-lined glorious? sporting new Students’ Out will come my item of beauty. The upcoming seasons Association gowns and their established favourite – the Autumn and winter will also see the welcome individual stylish merit. My heavy tweed in an assortment are also the seasons that my return of gowns with purpose sympathy goes out to my own of honeys and grays – worn by gentlemen friends love the – and I found myself delighted Mitre colleague and dear some of our most best; for I beg to launder their during the opening event of friend Mr. David Vinton who, distinguished gentlemen. I thick cotton shirts and press the debating calendar to as the Student Support will be hoping to catch a them with all the attention witness those most Officer, has the task of making glimpse of Mr. Hugh Martin that they deserve. Oxford distinguished Conservatives, his worn-out black and blue in his stylish yellow, of Mr. cotton and Prince of Wales Mr. James Potton, Mr. Ian affair as stylish as he is Joseph Tendler teaming his check in soft pastel shades McFarlane, and Mr. Henry himself; and also to our with obligatory coloured with their gentle scent of Evans clinging to their president, Mr. Simon Atkins, socks, and missing the sight of soap and clinging cologne; scarlets for warmth. Attention who takes over the blue and the now-departed Mr. Eliot could there be a pastime more should also be paid to those red. Con’t from previous page ensures satisfaction for every Monterrey, for instance, uses known Dominican brand where else. Whilst visiting taste. Dominicans tend to be leaves from Nicaragua. Tabantillas: available in a wide the US over the summer I lighter in body, creamy and The latest ruse that range of sizes, the took the opportunity to occasionally floral; the Gisbert several manufacturers have hit unattractive white band sample these unfamiliar brand is sweetly gingery, and upon is to produce a version of surrounds a medium-bodied, products, and I was very Por Larrañaga is very pleasant their premium line with a well-aged cigar with a spicy, pleasantly surprised. indeed with its aroma of hot darker, sun-ripened maduro leathery and sometimes toasty The first thing to buttered toast (stop me if I wrapper. Far from producing flavour, and a spectacularly strike me was the prices: even begin to sound like Jilly the full-blooded powerhouses smooth draw. without the favourable Goulding). A Nicaraguan, on feared by novices, this trick So whilst we should exchange rate, a good smoke the other hand, can pack instead tends to enhance the carry on denouncing America's can be had for half of what a easily as much punch as sweetness of a lighter-bodied unwise political practices, I British-bought Cuban would anything from the Evil smoke, resulting in appealing can't help feeling that typically cost. Admittedly, Empire's last outpost. notes of chocolate and toast. American cigar smokers though, part of this might be Meanwhile, those seeking an The popular Romeo y Julietta haven't come off too badly. down to the general (almost) authentic taste of reserve maduro, whilst Perhaps when old Castro excellence of my local Cuba can find it in one of the perhaps a little too expensive finally retires to the great big retailer, JR's, whose prices 'alternatives' ranges, which for a daily pleasure, is a walk-in humidor in the sky, beat even the duty free into replicate the characteristics particular favourite of mine Americans will once more be oblivion; I can't recommend of a famous brand with such with its undertones of vanilla. able to purchase Cuban cigars them enough. Then there's success that only the most It is important, without fear of the law - and the variety. Far from being seasoned connoisseur could though, not to limit one's then maybe, just maybe, they restricted by the absence of tell the difference. The experience to the household might leave some of the rest Cuba from the menu, the alternative to the earthy names. I'm particularly pleased of the world's offerings for us. number of other sources Cuban classic Hoyo de to have discovered the little- THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS X THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS L E T T E R S T O T H E E D I T O R THE MITRE Return of the Donocle AIEN ARISTEUEIN SIR - I wanted to express SIR - There are rumours in my pleasure that Mr. these parts that given the Renouf is able to continue influx of ‘Yankee Who is next? his education at this fine interlopers’ to the fair The Commons has voted to outlaw fox-hunting and seat of learning. University of St Andrews, criminalise a law-abiding minority. The British that it is soon to be reborn public might well ask, who is next? The Blair I have a strong under a new name and goverrnment legislates from its own metropolitan feeling that St. Andrews ethos. The American liberal prejudices. It outlaws whatever it finds sartorial scene will benefit University of Scotland distasteful (hunting), and legalises whatever it massively from his timely (founded as St Andrews in considers of utility (cloning). With the confidence reappearance, and many of 1411) will provide quality that hunting is not the only traditional practice St. Andrews gin drinkers education abroad to both hated by this sinister government, this move will also feel fit to rejoice natives and Americans constitutes an inauspicious precedent. at his return. alike, along the lines of the American University of No one believes that foxes will now be happier. I would like to Paris, the American Foxes are pests, and the new law allows them to be encourage The Mitre to University of Beirut, and controlled by means such as shooting, poisoning, join with me in welcoming the American University of and snaring, which guarantee foxes, and other him back. Cairo. animals, will now die in agony. Now, when a fox is Of course, given hunted, it is killed instantly by a snip on the neck I remain Sir, forever in that within say... fifty by the leading hound; the other hounds tear apart your service. years, or maybe... five days the dead fox. So this law is not about the welfare of St Andrews, Paris, Beirut, foxes. In this tyranny of the majority, we observe the Mr. David Montfort and Cairo will all have in ideologues of our time dealing with the class of rural Vinton common being minareted, people they hate. Connoisseur, Windmill Rd. Sharia-abiding, Islamic cities, is it perhaps unwise Now we must fear this fearful government. AKBC: The Mitre, too, that so many more Legislation by class hatred precedes legislation by welcomes the return of Mr. Americans arrive for their other forms of hatred. When we are soon obliged to Renouf. I’m sure his educations every year? carry identity cards (as a bogus anti-terrorism presence at many events to measure) and find further regulations and come will continue to The Hon. John Smith restrictions on our lives perhaps more people will strengthen the University’s Grosvenor Square, London realise how totalitarian life in this country has sartorial tradition, and become. After the hunting demonstration the talk especially its sartorial AKBC: Hogwash, pure and now is of banning demonstrations in Parliament repuation with junior-year- simple. Square. From where will demonstrations next be abroads, who seem to be banned? overly-amused at the Letters to the editor: presence of our monocled [email protected] If this were not a Prime Minister who professed amigo. ‘deeply-held religious beliefs’ (whilst overseeing further embryo research, sopping to the homosexual lobby, and lying to parliament) would we not now THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS acknowledge the open possibility of an attack on Letters to the Editor and Comments: [email protected] ‘religious groups’? Religious schools are considered by the liberal elite to be socially divise: the state is all. The New Labour ideology leads us to utter Andrew K. B. Cusack secularism – and who could achieve this better than Editor-in-Chief someone claiming a sincere Christian faith? There is always a price to be paid for bad J.N. Roberts Sofie von Hauch government. All regimes come to a sticky end. The Associate Editor Regular Contributor genius of Blair is that most people do not realise Robert O’Brien Alexandra Jennings that New Labour is an ideology. So many take the Associate Editor Debates & Assistant to the Editor Prime Minister at his word when he says he is “a Laura Wilson Phoebe Stoves pretty straight sort of guy”. Fashion Hunting, Fashion When will an effective opposition form to Nicholas Vincent Margaret Hughes challenge the Group-think promoted so cleverly by Property Film and Theatre the British Left, who continue the Marxist legacy? The homogenous New Labour state looms. Let us Opinions expressed are not necessarily that of the Mitre, or it’s proprietor. The Mitre reserves the right to edit for grammar, length, and content any and all simply announce that, as one minority group is letters to the editor for publication. This publication is in no way officially suppressed, all minority groups, including especially endorsed, funded by, or affiliated with the administration of the University of St Andrews. The Mitre is independent of any and all clubs, societies, and other the religious, should wonder if they will be the next organizations, though all of the above are free to make financial contributions. to fall foul of this hideous ideology. Andrew K. B. Cusack is the sole proprietor of this newspaper. THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS XI. The St Andrews Life... Con’t from back page certainly the most active. connections throughout however, still crop up. ...organisation, and it is They run the Opening Ball, Scotland, the United The Jan Smuts highly recommended that the May Ball, Jazz Nights, Kingdom, and the world. Committee was formed in any and all good lads and and the granddaddy of The Mitre has 1929, originally with the lasses make a go of it. them all, the Kate Kennedy investigated all these claims intent of securing South ‘A’ Squadron, as it is Procession in April, a must- thoroughly – using African Prime Minister, known, is headquartered at see. Gentlemen only. interrogation methods our Gen. Jan Christiaan Smuts Wyverne on City Road, and The Kensington Editor-in-chief picked up as Rector of the University. the Mess serves the cheapest Club meets occasionally for during his days as a Turkish When that aim was finally pint in town at only £1. luncheon or supper and prison guard, I might add – achieved in 1931 (with the Sadly, the OTC’s previous good times are usually had and can certifiably state that installation occurring in policy of turning a blind eye by all. Their annual none of the following claims 1934), some members of the towards Yanks has ended, Christmas dinner for are based on any kernel of committee continued to so it’s only open to members and guests is truth. meet in private. As members citizens of the U.K. divine, so meet a Despite rumours to graduated, newer members and Commonwealth. member and see if you the contrary, the Pilmour were appointed. can tag along for Club is an outfit we are And of course the DINING CLUBS passing the port, quite sure is dead and L.O.S.A.B. is a mythic There are a number Christmas carols, and perhaps even beyond invention which we will not of invitation-only ‘God Save the Queen’. resuscitation. Its honoured even entertain. clubs of which St Gentlemen only. members would break into Those interested in Andreans may be For the University buildings (the wagers may, however, be interested. monarch’s most Chapel, Parliament Hall, interested in the Poker The aptly- loyal defenders the Schools, etc) at the dead Club, which is not really named Breakfast joining the Strafford of night and hold massive secret per se, but doesn’t fit Club meets for, you Club is a must. The banquets with elaborate into the dining club guessed it, breakfast. monarchist dining rules and rituals to go along category. Rumours of the Lots of club to end all with them. The given locus minimum wager vary, but Scandinavians. monarchist dining of a such a feast would be are said to be high. The Dash-wood clubs boasts a medley of clean as a whistle by dawn, The Sir Philip Club meets for luncheon rather amusing members with no trace left of the Sidney Society is believed and includes a number of and was named after the fetes by dawn. to be composed of admirers jovial members, both male Earl of Strafford, executed According to lore, of good poetry and even and female. Sadly one of the for his loyalty to Charles I. the administration did not better wine. Club’s most amusing Interesting regalia as well. know of the Club’s members, the legend of Gentlemen only. existence – or else quietly AND FINALLY legends Mr. Charlie Lush, tolerated it – until the Club In conclusion, we ask you has graduated. You SECRET SOCIETIES became complacent and left to please enjoy your stay at shouldnt’ve taken that gap Like any ancient university, the Old Psychology Library St Andrews. They may be year! there are always fantasical in a tip one morning. some of your best years, but The Kate legends and rumours of Supposedly one or two even more, we hope they are Kennedy Club is the club secret societies that either Pilmorians were sent down the foundation for better of greatest renown, the run the University behind and the Club ceased to years to come. most open, and almost the scenes or otherwise have exist. Rumours of its revival, Tuition Problems Needs Conservative Solution Con’t from Page V affords their students no college compared to only to learn from America as ...process. The American such luxury of resources or fifteen percent of Britons regards higher education, student has a chance to inculcation of important in the same income and if they are to sustain appreciate the broader values. bracket. This is in stark the educational quality of research facilities permitted There is something contrast to the putative their universities into the by stronger funding, as well else the British public have wider access proclaimed by next century they would do as the excellence of top- yet to understand: higher leftist MPs who are well to adopt the policies notch American and costs do not necessarily opposed to the tuition that have worked well here. foreign (including British) mean lower enrollment or reform. professors attracted to the privileged-students-only Lower fees do not, Adam Maxwell Jenkins, an generous teaching salaries participation. As Sir Peter in the end, imply greater American resident in the we offer. Furthermore, the Lampl has observed in his equality, and particularly UK, is in his final graduate of the American analysis of matriculation not when they exist as a undergraduate year at Yale university has the sense of rates at British and flat rate to be paid back University. responsibility that comes American schools, fully through taxation, a policy with alumni-consciousness. forty-three percent of that ensures lower public Reprinted from The socialist fiscal climate Americans in the bottom support for education in the YALE FREE PRESS of British universities income quartile go to the future. Britain has a lot http://www.yale.edu/yfp/ THE MITRE OF ST ANDREWS BejantsMITRE A Guide to St Andrews for Our Incoming Bejants and Bejantines The St Andrews Life Gowns, Chapel, Balls, Church, Dinner parties, Clubs, Societies, Drinking, Christianity, Monarchism, Decadence, Whatnot AH! ANOTHER autumn, St Andrews of the oldest www.st-and.ac.uk/~clayclub/ preachers are invited from another September, and political party in the world. If the Clay Club around the country and another year commences at The society organises talks, isn’t the best sporting group vary greatly in quality and the greatest university the dinners, port-and-policy at St Andrews, then the orthodoxy. Sherry is usually world has ever known. This evenings with politicians Sailing Club might hold served shortly after chapel composition intends to and such things. that title. We are reliably in the Hebdomodar’s Room explicate to our newly- www.st-and.ac.uk/~stauca/ informed that they’re often across the way. Follow arrived bejants the world of The Catholic a drunken mess but good others if you don’t know Andreanopolis – that is to say, Society is the only souls nonetheless. where it is. St Andrews – with the aim University society with its www.st-and.ac.uk/~sail/ Keep an eye out of better facilitating a own home at Canmore, the If not shooting or especially for Sundays when pleasant time at the Catholic Chaplaincy (No. sailing then why not take ladies are preaching, for University to our newest 24, the Scores). The society up rowing and join the they almost always manage members. is arguably the premiere Boat Club, or if you’re up to make fools of themselves intellectual fellowship in for a chukka, the Polo somehow. FIRST YEAR town, and recent speakers Club. If you’re a city-dweller such include Anne Widdecombe, ...ET PATRIA as myself, it may take some Lord Alton, and the PRO DEO... The Officer Training time in adjusting to life in legendary Fr. Patrick University Chapel services Corps of the University of the town and the university. Burke, whose talks you are Sundays at 11:00 am St Andrews is a legendary... You will hate St Andrews should eliminate any during term. Dress Con’t on page first term, tolerate it second engagement to attend. respectably and XI term, miss it over the Renewal may be in wear your summer, and then love it for order for the Anglican gown. The the rest of your life. Chaplaincy with the engagement of Andre SOCIETIES Floryn Wyss as its head. All There are a number of Saints Episcopal Church Union-affiliated societies on N. Castle Street is which the newly-arrived known for the beauty bejant ought to at once of its liturgy. aquaint oneself with. Our own Union A BIT OF SPORT Debating Society, circa While endeavouring 1794, is the oldest (“and upon your university some would say the finest”) career, it would be debating society in the well-advised to keep civilised world. (Ireland has fit, and there are a one which is older). number of athletic Nonetheless, it is consider a opportunities here. bastion of tradition, which And what it defines as anything done could be better for keeping more than once. Debates in shape, after all, than the are held in Parliament Hall, Clay Pigeon Club, which and academic gowns are has shoots twice a week recommended attire. during term. Reputedly www.debatingsociety.org.uk the best sporting club Politicos among you around, and worth may wish to join the Tory joining even if just Club, officially the to meet great University of St Andrews chaps like Jonny Conservative and Unionist Armstrong and Association, founded 1867 James Butler. and the official branch of at