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They came to my house, didn’t wear my pajamas, and didn’t take my vodka.

By colin W. Sargent

ay Wise has starred in everything from Cat People to Twin Peaks, Robocop, Mad Men, and Girl With the Tramp Stamp Tat- too. Now he’s starring in my house at 155 West- ern Promenade, wearing PJs that look disturbing- ly like mine, walking up the stairs to shoot a scene in Kyle Rankin’s Night of the Living Deb. Have you ever met someone who seems more comfortable in your surroundings than you do?

Please consider this cautionary tale if ever you plan to open your home to a feature-film crew shooting a zombie romantic comedy. By now, the Charlotte Honan of Munjoy Hill is ready for her West End close-up. colin sargent

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scouting from room to room with an air Maine’s City Magazine of satisfaction, surveys my library with our books, hard-bound copies of 28 years of Portland Magazine, and my prize Zu- ber mural showing the Boston panel from Views of North America: “This is the of- FRANK fice of the most egotistical man in Port- WAVERLY: land, Maine.” Portland’s I gulp. “In the movie, you mean.” runs unday Morning, June 22. Shooting water begins. 6:18 a.m. I am intent upon through him. hiding the liquor from the film people, not because I’m thinking they’ll steal it but because it looks so weird that I keep this much. I have half of it loaded in the car. But this kid, this Fast and Furious-looking kid who’s among the first four people I’ve opened the house to, has somehow found a way, in just two minutes, to go upstairs, find his way down a service corridor, come down our back stairs, and knock over and break a bottle of merlot I’ve put there for just a second. It’s not just a strike, it’s a miracle. Amid jagged glass, a purple pool blooms incriminatingly. .95 VOL. 29 NO. 4 $7 SUMMERGUIDE 2014 fect Your Per Scott: “Do you have a dust pan?” Fifty people have now trailed through Summer the building, with walkie talkies and big long steps like they’re walking outdoors. WWW.PORTLANDMAGAZINE.COM (Continued on page 106)

talented cast and characters of this film are well known in the Forest City. I hope these diary selections can slip us past the Fourth Wall that separates an audience from the cast, because there’s an exciting creative di- mension in between. It’s been a rare oppor- tunity for me to see my house, and even myself, through vastly different eyes.

NTERIOR, MANDERLEY, DAY. It’s the Friday before shooting begins at our house at 155 Western Promenade, the 1922 Geor- Stars in my living room, gian Revival home my wife and I have been re- from left: Maria Thayer storing since we bought it in 2008. The house is (the living Deb), Michael Cassidy, Syd Wilder, Chris nicknamed “Manderley” after the mansion in Marquette, and Ray Wise– the Hitchcock movie Rebecca. in power-suited character SCOTT TAYLOR, location manager, as bigshot Frank Waverly. opolillo C ony T from top:

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The Wyeths, Maine The Zombie Diaries (continued from page 79) Many wear black sweatshirts with hoods and the Sea and wake-up hair. They’re like a road crew, April 26—December 31, 2014 only they’re all former National Merit semi- is exhibition is made possible through the generous support of: Anna Mae & George Twigg, III finalists or something. Lots of bandanas e primary media sponsor of this exhibition is Marylouise Tandy Cowan Gallery, Wyeth Center Maine Home + Design and beards unless they’re one of the young- er, callow guys. So many from everywhere and therefore nowhere. They’re walking In- dian file, and now they have headsets on, looking around curiously. They’re all wed- ding planners. It’s hard not to join the line except this is my house. I know what they’re going to see. Except I don’t. What I see is invisible to them, and vice versa. Now tripods and a million man purs- es. Some of the people roll up the bottoms of their bluejeans and wear tight black tee shirts. Yellow suitcases. Black suitcases. Upon seeing our kitchen, a young wom- an with Tamsyn hair say, “Holy crow.” And I imagine a holy crow, an Apache deity maybe, sweeping in from above D.H.

Andrew Wyeth (American, 1917 –2009) 1944, drybrush on paper, 29 ¾" x 39 ¼", museum purchase, 1954.906 ©Andrew Wyeth Lawrence’s summer retreat in New Mexico. Farnsworth Art Museum > 16 Museum Street, Rockland, ME 04841 • 207-596-6457 • farnsworthmuseum.org Or something out of Carlos Castaneda. “Do we know where we are?” “We’ll be doing makeup in here.” “Not too much to do until the art truck arrives. We’re waiting on Jeremy, I guess.” Jeremy White is the production designer. “Yes, we’re all waiting on Jeremy.”

he star room in this mansion, really, is the bathroom. “Is there, a…” is the way it comes up in conversation. A makeup artist moves some china from the top of a server in our sunroom. “Any- thing that looks dainty, we’ll evacuate.” She puts her shiny yellow purse where the creamer and sugar were. I close my eyes and listen to the Holly- wood talk. In California, “Oh, that’s great” must mean, ‘I didn’t ask you to speak. Leave my presence.’ By 7:03 a.m., I realize the house is way out of control. Speakers move in on big two- tier carts followed by blue tubs and big black camera equipment. Booms. Gaffer stuff. K- tel. Lots of zippers. Duct tape with “Cam- era” written on it. I get a close look at all the people who are, and aren’t, mentioned at the end of the film when the credits are fly- ing across the screen and stragglers are bob- bing among the theater seats, looking for dropped wallets and sunglasses. I hear Miles Davis playing downlow mu- sic. Holy crow.

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One of these techies is Marc Bartholomew, of Portland. He wears a blue sweatshirt and carries black ghostbuster gear. “I do docu- mentaries. Kyle was looking for local talent. Ben Kahn recommended me.” 7:12. I catch a glimpse of two blue director’s chairs set up in Manderley’s solarium. “Jeremy is here!” Hipster hat, blue All- agash shirt with a red Saison dot on it, glass- es. Tall, a beard. He runs the art truck. He should stay in Portland. We have plenty of food trucks now. What we need is art trucks. 7:06. The first time I see a crewmember eating something. It’s breakfast, something in a white plastic bowl with a peel-top. 7:14. Fast and Furious comes in from the back garden, eating a banana. I later find a banana on my desk. An offering? 7:15. I decide to do a walkabout. “Do we need batteries out there? It’s as bright as shit. Beautiful.” “I’m just worried people are going to kick us out.” 7:20. It’s the first time I hear the word zombie. Because these people aren’t zombies. They’re really actors. cott asks me to move our RED FIAT from our garage to a position in front of the house. I go out there. A huge old rusty bomber of a Cadillac Coupe de Ville–a zombie car–is parked right in front. “Here?” I ask Tom Ackerman, the cinematographer. He’s looking at the RED FIAT. “I’ve driven a Fiat 500 before.” “In Italy? In Naples?” “No! On the Amalfi coast with my wife. It was white knuckles there, though, too.” 7:30. I see Kyle. The eye of the storm. He has time to talk calmly with everybody. He’s not wearing tech gear. He’s Lord Nel- son walking the deck. He stops and watch- es the costumer air-iron Ray Wise’s blue PJs in our butler’s pantry on a rolling hanger. There’s no need to ask whose PJs they are. “They are so lame,” Kyle laughs, watching them get smooth. I don’t tell him I have a pair just like them. 7:40. A techie says, “They were expect- ing me, Kyle.” He holds up one of our plastic Cameron-tartan drink coasters in the sun room. Kyle says, “Cameron clan?” “How did you get into makeup?” one of the actors asks as he slides into a chair for his zombie makeup. “I watched movies when I was a kid,” Cameron says. “I have a blue shirt. Should I wear a blue

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shirt or a black shirt?” “There’s going to be blood on it. You’re infected, not dead.” Another actor, in another chair. “I’m not having a reaction, am I?” “Well it didn’t get in your eye.” Scott sweeps by. “Oh. So you have a front- row seat to the ghoulishness.” I know that’s not why he’s talking to me. “Um, I forgot to ask you. Do you have a WiFi password we can use?” ore people flood in. “Zombie extras.” “Just have them sit in the garden.” A guy walks in. “Hey, Cameron, do you know where a bathroom is?” “It’s over there.” Then the guy says into his mike, “I know, I know. It’s the GFI that keeps tripping.” “Across that hall there,” Cameron Dortsch says. “Cameron’s a family name of mine,” I tell him. “Those are my valuable plastic coasters.” A person I’ve seen everywhere is talking on her head set. She walks while she talks, like on the West Wing. “Send them to me,” she says into her mike. Who are you? I hear a tinny voice in her headset ask her. “Kate is me.” Zombies out in the back garden, talking. A single person is standing in the dark living room, checking a cell phone. “How many gallons of fake blood?” “We have 200 gallons of fake blood,” Cameron says. EXTERIOR, front of Manderley, 8:20 a.m. A guy walks up. “Do you have a bucket and a sponge? We need to wash that RED FIAT out front.” Now this is starting to work out! I tell him to look in the basement tool room. He’s wearing a blue shirt with blue jeans, the dreaded Canadian Tuxedo. That’s probably why he’s been tapped to wash the car. With a headset on. Seriously, there are at least 50 people wearing headsets. CHAD NICHOLSON, a producer, has sunglasses and a cowboy hat on. Stand- ing on the Prom across the street from the house, he assembles his shooting crew for a huddle: “We’re in this beautiful house. We do not want anybody to rush. We want to keep things as breakless as possible. We have fireworks.” Tom, cinematographer: “We can’t un- derestimate how lucky we are to be in this house. Everything in there you should consider to be absolutely untouchable. We’d

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Only 45 minutes from Portland thought of using a house in California like Museum & Shaker Store this but didn’t dare dream about trying Memorial Day through Columbus Day 707 Shaker Road (Rte. 26) New Gloucester, Maine 04260 to make that happen. If you need to move Monday – Saturday; 10 am – 4:30 pm 207-926-4597 something, we’ll ask. Everything that’s go- Closed Sundays www.shaker.lib.me.us ing to move, Jeremy will do it. It’s a big house, but it’s also very small. For example, the second-floor landing.” “All right. We’ll just get [the two lead actors, Maria Thayer and Michael Cassidy, waiting in our center hallway] out of the chairs and out here and we’ll shoot a film. We’ll be here about a week. We’ll be able to stretch things out by shooting exteriors.” Guys are now beside the RED FIAT, cov- ering over the Quirk motors sticker. Kyle is wearing an Allagash Brewing shirt. He’s working by watching others work. “Kyle, do you want some distant zombies in this shot?” As in, standoffish? inematographer: “Let’s come down with the camera. More, more, more, lovely lovely, lovely. We have an ideal situation here with these trees.” Sharklike, a police car goes by. Joggers just “happen” to go jogging by. Now the former president of Bass Shoes drives a moped by. Is he spying? Other people are walking so deliberately and self-consciously across the front of Manderley you know they hope to be discovered as extras. The Original Lobstah Rockah, built here in Maine. I walk back to the garden to chat with zombie hopefuls. “I’m Charlotte Honan,” Customize your model, colors and options online at: one of them says. “I’m from Munjoy Hill. I’m going to drama school next year. I want www.lobstahrockah.com to go to California, but my dad’s from Eng-

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beyond just a read-through. They’re incred- isit Maine’s Oldest Lighthouse ibly animated, natural. It’s like they’re al- ready in the can. Fast and Furious walks by. His t-shirt V says Property of Cumberland Hall, Maine. “Do you want some water?” he asks Camer- on in makeup. Cameron perks up. “Did they get the energy drink today? I’m not a morning person.”

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A zombie kicks back and relaxes on my patio. 778 Roosevelt Trail, Windham, ME 893-1115 In his other life, Cameron works “as a lab assistant in a hospital in California. I’m 30 minutes from Palm Springs, at the Loma Linda medical center. Where they had the baboon transplant?” Did they base the movie on that? TheHun - gry Heart or Untamed Heart or whatever? “Yes.” 9:55 a.m. They’ve festooned 155 Western Prom with patriotic banners Scott tells me the zombies are about to come in through the gate.

® The heroes are in the bombed-out Ca- Swiss Diamond dillac, champagne colored and rusty. “You DIAMOND REINFORCED NON-STICKCOOKWARE don’t even know if they’re in there,” she says. “They’re in there. Trust me.” Meanwhile, Diamonds Make the Difference behind them, a zombie is lurching toward them across the Prom. ◊ Cast Aluminum Now Kyle and Tom, the cinematogra- ◊ Perfect Heat Distribution pher, are on the front walk. The movie is ◊ Virtually Indestructible coming inside. They’re talking about “zom-

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1 1 4 p o r t l a n d m o n t h ly m a g a z i n e this beautiful Chinese robe behind the The door in the room with the Chinese bed. Would it be all right if Ray Wise wears that in one of the scenes?” Now a man dressed in green and brown Tidewater moss, like he’s risen from a swamp, stands on the inside of the front gate at 155 Western Prom. The heroes want in. They run some Motel lines with the swamp man. Jeremy shows up with a machine gun. “Fire in the hold.” He Vinalhaven Island, Maine burps out some rounds from the plastic gun. The moss man, let’s call him Moss Ness, now takes the toy automatic weapon and consults with Jeremy. Moss Man turns the gun and aims toward my neighbor’s faux slate roof. I meet Laura Lienert, the set designer, who has brought bunting from her family to put on the house. It’s slightly nostalgic. ‘Old school,’ they’re supposed to connote. “Oh, is Twice a day all the water in the Atlantic heads for this your house?” she asks. “It’s such a beau- this fine waterfront lodging and meeting facility. tiful house.” She’s from Annapolis, Mary- You should too. land, but now she’s a Mainer who lives in Brunswick in a John Calvin Stevens house You’ll be glad you did. from the 1880s. [email protected] • 207-863-4618 • tidewatermotel.com ienert cuts flowers from the back garden and takes them to the front of the house, where the zombies are coming, and makes vignettes with our garden furniture. Why didn’t we ever think to do that? “A lake…is the earth’s eye.” The light is so perfect and bright blue it Henry David Thoreau almost bounces against the green lawn and bushes. Such a flawless sky you could cut the light with scissors. Manderley is having a good rose day. I ask Laura, Scott, and Kyle if they want me to cut the lawn again, thinking about how it might look different if I were to cut it next week, and they don’t think it matters. I feel as though I can see the individual blades of grass growing. “Ray Wise is going to be here in about an hour,” Kyle says. Back in the garden, two zombies, one on Celebrating one of my lounge chairs, strike up a conversation with me as time takes a holiday between shots. 100 Years “Do you think your neighbors here in the West End are bothered by this?” one of them asks. Blood is spurting from his mouth and See it aboard the Katahdin. eyes. One of the scenes involves a honking Katahdin Cruises on Moosehead Lake car, and he seems authentically concerned. Sailing late June thru Columbus Day, Closed Sun. & Mon. “Believe me, this is just another day on Tel: (207) 695-2716 Fax: (207) 695-2367 the Western Prom.” PO Box 1151 Greenville, ME 04441 One of the zombies is a photographer www.katahdincruises.com in his other life. This zombie has paid his

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dues. “I take concert photos,” Jim Pappa- constantine of Woodford Street says. “I worked for Sweet Potato and FACE magazine.” He mentions Stephen King. “I used “This is my new favorite store!” - everybody to collect old books. I had a very old one of his, a literary chapbook called Moth. I unique gifts, mead, wine and beer went to one of his readings. During Q & local and artisan honey with tasting bar A, I held the book up. ‘Is this one of the observation hive and beekeeping supplies earliest things you ever did?’ thehoneyexchange.com • 207.773.9333 “‘Let me see that,’ he said. He came down to the audience, took the book, walked back 494 Stevens Avenue, Portland, Maine 04103 • 10-2 Sunday 10-6Tuesday-Saturday to the lectern, and said, ‘No. Next question?’” Asked why he’s here, the lounge chair zombie says, “I’m Peter Haase, from Water- ville. I’m a big fan of The Walking Dead.” GET WOOL Beside him is Kyle Warnock, a new Port- YOUR Maine land resident. “I live near Washington and

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Oxford, close to the Old Port. I’m really into acting. I love being in productions.” Back out front, I overhear cinematographer Tom say to his wife, “You should see the interior of the house. And check out this view. The air smells so good here.” His wife: “I always come to the pretty locations.” Scott glides over, after I’ve moved my RED FIAT six times to line up with very precise marks in front of the house. “I’m sorry, Colin, but we’ve looked at light gauge and taken some measurements and now maybe Lunch Counter Open Daily 11:00-8:45 we’re going to use a BLUE VERSA instead.” Enjoy our Fresh Seafood from our indoor dining room or our outside picnic tables! I see the smug little BLUE VERSA driv- Fresh Lobster Rolls, Maine Shrimp, Clams, Scallops & Homemade Desserts ing down Western Promenade. The bitch, with her superior landing ratio, from out of Lobster Pound Open Daily 7:00-8:45 nowhere. “I’m sorry,” Kyle says. “The red just Lobsters, Crabs & Clams unloaded fresh daily from our boats! Ice packs are available for your convenience. wasn’t reading right.” It’s All About Eve all over again! Instead Lunch (207) 865-4888 • Lobster (207) 865-3535 of RED FIAT? How will I break it to RED harraseeketlunchandlobster.com FIAT? Holy crow, our little RED FIAT is out of the show!

1 1 6 p o r t l a n d m o n t h ly m a g a z i n e 36 Apple, Take Two, Separate Sticks. Ready, Mark, ACTION [with the BLUE CAR]. The zombie car pulls up behind Stac- ey’s car as the cameras glide and pan from a stainless-steel dolly by J.L. Fisher of Bur- bank, California, on rails across the street, with a big crowd watching. Stacy’s blue car. The shot is a wrap. Chad says, “This was perfect.” He points to the house’s gate, the house itself, the zombie car, the blue car. “Right in the center. Look at the symmetry. Just perfect.” 12:52 p.m. Am I blue! 12:53p.m. I’m just saying, the zombie extras have been in full face makeup for two hours. They’re starting to look normal to me. Especially when they’re checking their cell Director Kyle Rankin instructs cult hero Ray Wise in the Chinese bedroom in the souvenir phones and eating candy bars to keep their Chinese robe from Hong Kong.. energy up. Particularly two ZOMBIE BOYS who are licking the wrappers, waiting. 12:57p.m. During an interlude, cars are Wrap it Up allowed to drive past 155 Western Prom. I peer through the tinted glass and see that Scott Taylor, site coordinator, with It’s a wrap: Lead actors Maria Thayer and Michael Cassidy smile for the some of the drivers are wearing zombie the zombie car used in the film. camera with guests. makeup though they apparently have noth- ing no more to do with the show than our hapless RED FIAT. 1:03 p.m. Lunch. 5:40 p.m. Ray Wise is being heavily guard- ed by the filmsters. They revere him so much they even chose Wise potato chips for their cast lunch. I think it’s because he was in Twin Peaks, among so many cult shows. I snap a photo of him near our Chinese bed and feel lucky to get this picture, during a rehearsal. From what little I’ve seen, there are at least four people who can act in this show, and Wise is one of them. He almost whispers, but the way It wouldn’t be a iccardo (3) R he does it is fascinating, as long as they can party without zombies. catch it on audio. He has a really off-putting strangeness. He sits so naturally in my guest hristopher

C Wrap party with zombie room in my son’s souvenir brought back from Cadillac at 54 Danforth St. Hong Kong. I remember the first time I ever met Ray Wise, 11 minutes ago. On patrol, I introduce

eaghan maurice(3); myself to his blank expression, we shake M hands, and I say, “It’s my house.” He says, “Well, it’s lovely,” as if he’s accustomed to being in someone else’s house all the time, and in fact, should I really be here? I run into costumer (she doesn’t say cos- From left: film editor tumier) Paula Galucci, who is air-drying a Tony Capolillo and second set of PJs. When I ask why, she says, director Kyle “One set is going to get bloody.” n Rankin with a guest.

>>Visit portlandmonthly.com/portmag/2014/7/zombies lockwise from top left: colin sargent (2);

C for more.

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