A Kringle in Time
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AKh ringle in Time d I have endeavoured in this Ghostly little book, to raise the Ghost of an Idea, which shall not put my readers out of humour with themselves, with each other, with the sea- son, or with me. May it haunt their houses pleasantly, and no one wish to lay it. – Charles Dickens S. John Ross Writing, Design, Cartography, Production & Illustration Santa Claus Technical Consultant With Special Thanks ... to Robin Jenkins and Spike Y. Jones, for being Kringle’s editorial shepherds, abiding their flock by night Dedicated ... To Sam Ross, my Dad, who likes to pretend he doesn’t care much about the holidays. Love you, Pop. Playtest & Useful Commentary: Paul Blotkamp, Timothy O. Driscoll, Barb Fischer, Brian Flanagan, Vanora Hagen, Guy Hoyle, Dave Insel, Ken “Muscles” Johnson, Tim Kirk, Shawn Lockard, Doug Milewski, Rob Perkins, Paul Reed, Cody Reichenau, and Sandra Ross. Additional proof- reading assistance by Cody Reichenau and Demian Katz. Copyright © 2003 by S. John Ross. Risus: The Anything RPG, Cumberland Games & Diversions, and all identifying images and logos are trademarks of S. John Ross. For more cool Risus stuff (including secret freebies not found on the regular homepage) join the Risus Mailing List. Allergen Alert: the Kringle in Time playtest process involved snack foods that may have included peanuts, wheat, soy and dairy products. Cease play immediately if symptoms manifest. Creativity, Unbound Contents CONTENTS 2 Second Bite: Christmas Present . .35 Third Time’s the Charm: Christmas Future . .37 A CHRISTMAS STORY 3 Peace On Earth . .38 GETTING STARTED 5 Journey to Loch Noël . .38 Deadly Combat . .7 Loch Noël Map Key . .39 Swing Combat . .7 Miles to Go Before They Sleep . .40 CHAPTER ONE: THERE It Came Upona Midnight Clear . .40 AROSE SUCH A CLATTER 8 In Fields Where They Lay . .42 A Sudden Noise . .9 CHAPTER FOUR: AWAY IN A MANGER 43 What To My Wondering Eyes Should Appear . .11 Risus Makes Baby Jesus Cry . .43 If Every Day Were Just Like Christmas . .12 Hero Worship . .44 Of Course They Will . .13 Entering The City . .45 CHAPTER TWO: DEBACLE Heribab’s Smocks And Shrouds . .45 ON 34TH STREET 14 The Risus Guide to Biblical Jerusalem . .46 A Sleigh Ride Together With You . .15 Exploring Jerusalem . .48 Philo Hackdream: Santa Hunter . .17 Good Morning, Angels . .49 Talking With Philo . .17 That You, Santy Claus? . .49 “Slay Bells Ring – Are You Listenin’?” . .18 Gold, Frankincense, and More . .49 Freakish Bohemian Christmas Party . .19 Baana The Shirt-Monger . .50 Philo’s Got A Secret . .20 Jumping the Gun on Jesus . .50 Keller’s Department Store . .21 King Herod’s Chamber . .50 Santa’s Head-Patting Throne . .22 Angels Bending Near the Earth . .52 The Part Where the Store A Sudden Rescue . .53 Becomes a Dungeon Module . .22 Secret Catacombs Smell Like Baking Bread . .53 Map Key: Ground Floor . .23 Lair of the Rib Cultists . .54 Map Key: Typical Shopping Level . .25 In Thy Dark Streets Shineth … . .56 Map Key: The 39th Floor . .25 Building Your Nativity Scene . .58 Map Key: The 40th Floor . .27 CHAPTER FIVE: DASH AWAY, The Big Climactic Gloating and Fighting Scene . .28 DASH AWAY, DASH AWAY ALL!59 CHAPTER THREE: GOD We Got Upsot . .61 BLESS US, EVERY ONE 30 The Horrors of War . .61 Scrooge’s House . .31 Samantha’s Cottage . .63 Map Key . .32 Right Down Santa Claus Lane . .64 What’s Going On? . .33 Warehouse Five . .65 Here We Are As In Olden Days . .34 War Toy Factory “X” . .67 First Bite: Christmas Past . .34 Kringlegard: The Terrible Fortress of St. Nick . .68 Lovely, Dark and Deep . .69 If You Should Go Skating … . .70 Pulling the Plug . .72 Santa’s Sanctum . .74 Rein·Deer Games . .74 Holly Jolly Dénouement . .76 2 Table of Contents A Christmas Story T WAS ABOUT TWELVE YEARS ago, and it was the first Christmas after I’d begun work on I A Kringle in Time. I was single in those days, which isn’t nearly as good as being married but had its charms. That year, the charms included a wild lit- tle thing named (or, perhaps, not named) Melina. A g mutual friend who took naughty photographs pro- b fessionally introduced us; he and Melina had a busi- ness relationship. Like just about any relationship at that age, it was a pretty dumb idea that was fun enough that – for a v1.22 while anyway – we didn’t care how dumb it was. It was Christmastime in Virginia, in a town that takes pride in its Colonial heritage, complete with a really f beautifully complete approach to the holidays. There ABOUT THE AUTHOR was snow and there were lights and there were more S. John Ross has been a Game Master since pine boughs and pinecones and holly whatsits than 1984 and game writer since 1990. His works anyone could take in at once. include the Points in Space series, Risus: The Melina and I were at the local shopping mall that Anything RPG, the Pokéthulhu Adventure day, doing Melina-style things, which meant shoplift- Game, GURPS Russia, GURPS Warehouse ing Play-Doh from the toy stores. Melina was a thief 23, Weirder Tales: A Space Opera, Feast ofj and an exhibitionist and wicked in many other nice Blades (the In Nomine GM’s Kit), Among ways, so it was a fun contrast in an environment of the Clans: The Andorians, Uresia: Grave of plastic-sheet snowscapes and the electric grinding Heaven, the Star Trek RPG Narrator’s noise of mechanical elves. Toolkit, and the creation of Sparks paper miniatures. As a contributor, his work has There is a cliché on television that says that appeared in other supplements for the lines department store Santas often fail to show up for mentioned above, as well as the Flying work, leaving the harried staff to hunt for an emer- i Buffalo’s CityBook series, White Wolf’s Mage:h gency replacement Santa to talk to the kiddies and The Ascension line, and numerous periodicals, hand out candy and pose for Polaroids. That including Dragon, White Wolf, Star Wars Gamer, Christmas, that magical Christmas, that cliché visited Autoduel Quarterly, and Pyramid (where he our little shopping mall at precisely the time Melina served a brief stint as Editor). His homepage, and I were passing the Santa station. Melina noticed, The Blue Room, includes the Big List of RPG and Melina’s eyes lit up with a flame from the pit of Plots, one of the most linked-to gaming tools whatever dimension of sin she served. She whispered on the World Wide Web. He recently celebrated his seventh wedding anniversary to the cutest something in my ear, and some of it involved a plead- Newfie in the world. ing request. Oh, would I? Would I please be Santa? Not only did the staff eagerly accept me (I was the e only volunteer) but they accepted Melina as a kind of “Santa’s Helper” character. They provided her with a checkered apron and a green elf hat. Again, it was a study in contrasts, since she was wearing shiny black pants so tight they were really just a new skin color with a belt. www.cumberlandgames.com 3 Dum, De-Dum, Delightful Risus: A Kringle in Time 4 Things weren’t going to be so easy for me. I was But I’ve left Melina out of the story for a while. ushered discreetly into the private concrete back-halls Shame on me, for Melina got me into that suit and of the shopping mall where I was provided with extra she was determined to have some fun with the situa- padding, a massive fake beard, the boots and the tion beyond just seeing me play Santa for her coat and the trousers and the rest of it. Everywhere I amusement. At every opportunity, she got walked I was surrounded by the mall’s answer to the close, whispering to me and reminding me of Secret Service, and as we strode out into the what she was wearing that wasn’t an public concourse again I felt like some kind of apron, and what she wasn’t wearing. overprotected rock star on the way to the There is another rule about being stage. Santa Claus, and it involves having a The children cheered when they saw me, soft lap to sit on with no questionable and that was one of many lessons I’d learn unevenness in the surface. Melina that evening. Whatever there may be to hated rules. There is no moral (or indeed, Christmas Magic, people do love an icon morality) to this story, though as you read and, for a moment, there I was being iconic. and play A Kringle in Time you’ll come to Another pleasant lesson involved just appreciate why I’ve included it. how many of the children asked for tradi- As a postscript, a few weeks later, just a tional toys. I was expecting a litany of day or three before Christmas, I was load- brand-name trademarks and video-game ing up at a salad bar when a woman I did- machines, but more than half of the kids n’t recognize just started staring at me and asked for toys along the lines of a toy gun or a smiling. “Santa!” she said. “It’s Santa wagon or a train set or a dolly or a teddy bear. Claus!” That really affected me; it was an absolute sur- I blinked a lot. “Yes? Okay. Yeah.” prise and it made me realize that I had allowed She had recognized my laugh.