Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Winter 12-10-2004

Volume 40 - Issue 11 - Friday, December 10, 2004

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 40 - Issue 11 - Friday, December 10, 2004" (2004). The Rose Thorn Archive. 231. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/231

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ROSE-HULMAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY T ERRE HAUTE, INDIANA Friday, December 10, 2004 Volume 40, Issue 11

News Briefs The discussion is privacy Distinguished Pacifi c Angela Smiley Rim engineer, alumnus Staff Writer transcript con- to be featured at ASCE tains a record of dinner all courses a stu- Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Adent attempted, along with his or her grades alumnus Alfred Yee will pass along in those courses. It also con- some of his knowledge on innovative tains data on other means of structural concepts and construction fulfi lling course requirements, techniques to students and faculty including credit by examina- while being the featured speaker at the tion (CBE) and AP or transfer winter banquet of the college’s student credit. For years, these tran- chapter of the American Society of Civil scripts have been considered Engineers (ASCE) on Thursday, Dec. 9. semi-private information at Yee will also speak to civil engineering Rose-Hulman; however, in light of recent new technolo- classes during the day. gies that make it feasible for The ASCE’s winter banquet all transcripts to be accessed recognizes this year’s offi cers of the electronically, the Offi ce of college’s award-winning student the Dean has recently be- chapter, honors other civil engineering gun re-examining the issue students, and serves to kick off of whether faculty members the chapter’s campus fund-raising should have to be approved campaign for the Terre Haute Tribune- for access to student tran- Star’s Christmas Basket Fund. scripts. Currently, only a student’s Yee, a 1948 civil engineering Carmen DuVall / Rose Thorn advisor and the head(s) of Many students feel that unrestricted access to transcripts too easily permits the possibility of graduate, has been highly recognized his department(s) have the abuse. for his work in concrete technology ability to look at transcripts and proven concepts for both land through BannerWeb. If an- and sea structures. other member of the faculty giving some background on Some other professors also tion’s apparent willingness wishes to review a student’s the past and current manage- felt that they would fi nd the to consider student and fac- Rose-Hulman News academic record, for what- ment of transcripts, but after information useful. Donald ulty opinions, as well as the ever reason, he must pro- that he limited himself to the Bagert, Professor of Comput- event’s reception among Congress passes vide a compelling case to the role of moderator, keeping er Science and Software En- these groups. “I’m delighted Registrar for the educational track of those who wished to gineering, strongly advocated by the large group that’s here,” intelligence reform bill importance of his query. The speak and ensuring that each the change, citing circum- commented David Mutchler, Registrar will then give him had his or her chance. stances such as struggling stu- Associate Professor of Com- The Senate voted 89-2 to pass the a copy of the transcript in Law- dents and puter Science and Software intelligence reform, which modernizes written form. If the Registrar rence individu- Engineering. “It shows that the nation’s intelligence services. considers the request inap- Merkle, As- I’m delighted by the als who students and faculty are very Border patrols are to be increased propriate or the justifi cation sistant Pro- wished to interested in these policies... and immigration offi cers are to be insuffi cient, he will deny it, fessor of large group that’s drop or add I would like to see this, as added to the current contingent. and the student’s transcript Computer a course with other issues that affect A crucial change is the establishment will remain off-limits to that Science here. I would like during the both students and faculty, of a director of national intelligence person. and Soft- hectic fi rst have more open input.” His The administration has ware En- week of a last statement garnered en- who has authority over the nation’s 15 to see this, as with sought input from diverse gineering, quarter. thusiastic applause from the spy agencies. sources in evaluating the mer- was quick other issues that af- Freder- assembled audience. The bill also calls for the creation of a its of such a policy change. to point out ick Berry, A number of faculty mem- civil liberties board to protect citizens’ A poll of students was con- that other fect both students Professor bers expressed concern that rights and privacy. cluded Tuesday, and both stu- forms of and Head the poll, having been sent out The bill is based heavily on the dents and faculty participated student and faculty, have of the Elec- without much background suggestions from the September 11 in an open forum on the issue data might trical and information or advance no- Commission on preventing future Wednesday. be useful more input. Computer tice, was not informative. “I terrorist attacks, and seeks to reform “I have heard strong opin- to faculty Engineer- think that you got out an an- ions on both sides of the is- as well. ing De- swer that was desired rather a Cold War-designed intelligence sue,” commented Dean of “The ques- partment, than an answer that was ac- structure that has had trouble Faculty Art Western, who will tion is not — David Mutchler raised curate,” asserted Bruce Fer- performing adequately in face of the likely be the fi nal arbiter of just one of concerns guson, Associate Professor of recent terrorist threat. this choice. transcripts, about what Electrical and Computer En- “Some argue that there are it is one of a strong gineering. “The data that we By Lissa Avery several times when it might academic information.” He student reaction against collected was almost worth- be appropriate, while others cited aggregate data and lists transcript access might mean less.” Western did not com- feel that those are outweighed of potential award nominees to advisors’ and department ment on whether he planned Friday [by privacy concerns].” as possibly useful to profes- heads’ continued access. to conduct a second poll. Few showers 49 Hi / 39 Lo Wednesday’s forum, which sors. Currently, aggregate sta- However, no one present at However, there was some Saturday attracted at least 40 partici- tistics are compiled by IRPA, the forum expressed enthusi- evident basis for the nega- AM Rain/ Snow showers 42 Hi / 31 Lo pants (at least 20 faculty and the Offi ce of Institutional Re- asm for removing or altering tive overall response the poll staff) and lasted for over two search, Planning and Assess- these privileges. showed. Provided by www.weather.com hours, gave rise to heated dis- ment, and must be requested Most of those present were cussion. Western opened by formally by a professor. pleased by the administra- Continued on Page 3...

News Entertainment Opinions Sports Flipside

Privacy issues on other The city is second to Privacy to the fore. Two Rose students “What’s the caption?!” campuses. none. honored for academics and athletics. Page 3 Pages 4 & 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 2 CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn

Friday Saturday December 10 11

* Bikes For Tykes’ Assembly * Campus College Bowl Day/Delivery, Facilities Upcoming events Competition Champi- Department Offi ce onship Round

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday * Rose Family Christ- 12* Student Govern- 13* Institute Meeting, 14 15 16 17 18 E-104, 4:30 p.m. mas Party, Union ment Association’s * Hulman Union * Last day of classes. * Start of Winter break * Santa Distributing Gift, Fall Student Leaders Announcement of * Students’ Christmas Gift Christmas Party Kahn Room, 4-6:30 p.m. Banquet “Rose-Hulman 2015: A Wrap Day, Kahn Room, * Poetry Reading, Eugene * Dinner & Holiday Pro- * Retired Faculty/Staff Conversation About Throughout Day Gloria of DePauw Uni- gram, Main Dining Room, Holiday Luncheon, Hat- Our Future” versity, Kahn Room 5 p.m. fi eld Hall Lobby, Noon

19 20 21 22 23 24 25 Winter break

THBCO. “BREWHAUS” BANQUET ROOM Classifi eds Apartments and houses Accomodations for up to 500 people Available January, 1-4 Bedroom Apts & Houses. Starting at Large staging area for live music or DJ $335/month. ROI Apts. 232-2466. Full service bar Worship Worship with music, prayer, and refl ection in White Chapel Home to Champagne Velvet beer Sunday, December 12, 6:00 p.m. Led by United Campus Minis- tries, 321 N. 7th Street, Terre Haute, IN 47807. Campus Minis- We still have a few holiday spots open! ter: Jack Diel, [email protected] Algebra 2 Tutor

401-03 South 9th Street Seeking Algebra 2 tutor for two high school students Wednes- 234-2800 days after 6 p.m. or on weekends. Contact Molly Reed at www.cvbeer.com [email protected] or 217-826-8700 for more information. Female Algebra 2 Tutor SONKA IRISH Tutor needed for 11th grade Algebra 2 student. Female ap- PUB & CAFE plicants preferred. Call Bruce at 812-872-2466. 14th & Wabash Wed, Dec. 15: Sharp Flats Fri: Irish Christmas Bash Now renting for 2005-2006 school year! Irish Happy Hour Free Turkey Dinner East On 6th St. Free Munchies 5-7pm Santa & the Bud Elves Bud Pitchers $3.50 1 bdrms & studios Very nice 3 bedroom apartment All day, All night Sat: All utilities Paid! 720 S. 6th St. Burger & Brew Special 6710 Wabash Studio apt. 720 S 6th St Live Irish Music 9pm Visit our new 1 bedroom apt. 926 S 6th St No Cover Trails End Deli! $325 incl. util. Must be 21 to enter / We support the DD program Call 877-1146 The Rose Thorn The Rose Thorn Opinions Editor: Staff Writers: Advisor: the right to refuse publication CM 5037 John Kropf Bridget Mayer Dr. Richard House of submissions that the edito- RHIT Robert Herbig rial staff deem unsuitable. 5500 Wabash Ave. Entertainment Editor: Andrew Twarek The Rose Thorn is printed Terre Haute, IN 47803 Jacob P. Silvia Alexander J. Clerc Fridays during the standard Editors reserve the right to E-mail: [email protected] Aaron Meles Rose-Hulman quarters. condense or edit submissions Sports Editor: Angela Smiley for clarity, space limita- tions, grammar and spelling Phone:(812)877-8255 Josh Annin Philip Woods The deadline for content sub- Fax: (812)877-8166 mission to the Rose Thorn is mistakes, and factual errors. Photographers: 5 p.m. two days prior to dis- Letters to the Editor must be Web Address: Flipside: www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Matt Durham tribution. All content should signed and include contact Gregory Weir Carmen DuVall be submitted to thorn@rose- information: phone number, Co-Editors-in-Chief: Andrea Brown hulman.edu or to the Thorn e-mail address, and the major Luke Stark Webmaster: Offi ce (Union room 249). and class of the author. Bob Schulein Stephen Pierce Copyeditors: Bill Waite Editors reserve the right to Ad Manager: Abby Rebhorn accept new content or con- News Editor: Odessa Goedert tent changes submitted after Lissa Avery deadline. The Thorn reserves Friday, December 10, 2004 NEWS 3 Transcript access, Students concerned about from Page 1 infringement of privacy rights Michelle Kessell terrorism where your informa- take us down the slippery slope Some students questioned the themselves towards or against U-WIRE (DC BUREAU) tion may wind up. The govern- toward Big Brother oversight of apparently unequal treatment their students either in their ment should fi nd another way college students, and of those of students and faculty: “If we’re teaching or in their grading. A federal government pro- to hold schools accountable for same citizens beyond their col- going to do this [open up tran- Sudipa Mitra-Kirtley, Associate posal to create a new compre- using their funds and not punish lege years.” scripts],” queried one, “shouldn’t Professor of Physics and Optical hensive database of college and our rights to privacy.” Crystal Zahedi, a senior at we students have access to em- Engineering, expressed concern university student enrollment Offi cials expect Congress Northeastern University who ployee records? Course evalua- about how knowledge of her records has some students con- to consider the proposal early transferred from Syracuse Uni- tions?” students’ past grades would in- cerned that it may infringe upon next year as part of its periodic versity, says while she would not Additionally, some who are terfere with her duties to teach their privacy rights. reauthorization of the Higher want her personal information out directly involved in the protec- all of them, and suggested that The Department of Educa- Education Act. If approved, there, it is not an “option” in today’s tion of student information ex- she ultimately “would feel dis- tion’s proposal seeks to improve the government would have to post September 11th society. pressed concerns about the con- advantaged” by the new pro- government oversight of stu- amend fed- “It’s noth- sequences of such a change. “I posed policy. dents’ enrollment rates, gradua- eral privacy The idea that students ing new, think we would be naive to think The order of the day seemed tion rates and tuition. This is an laws which there are that there would be no misuse,” to be moderation. “I hope that effort to raise schools’ account- require a would enter a federal so many remarked Tim Prickel, the Reg- we’re not considering this as ability of federal funds. student’s registry by enrolling in people out istrar. “And frankly, in my rela- an all-or-nothing thing,” com- If approved, the new program, or parent’s college, and could be there track- tively short time here I’ve seen mented Joshua Holden, Assis- proposed by the National Cen- permission ing people’s some abuses.” tant Professor of Mathematics. ter for Education Statistics at in releasing tracked for the rest of their personal in- Students who opposed the He went on to express support the Department of Education, school re- lives, is frightening. formation,” proposal were quick to point out for the idea of allowing stu- would track every movement of cords. Zahedi says. that they did not harbor a gen- dents to control who could ac- individual college and university “The “Privacy is eral mistrust of faculty. “This cess their personal records in- students from matriculation to idea that — Tony Pals, National no longer is not about you personally,” dividually. He was not alone; graduation. students an option stated Lindsay Pethick, a fresh- Don Richards (Professor of Each student would have a would en- Association of Independent in today’s man computer science major, Mechanical Engineering) and computer fi le containing their ter a federal Colleges and Universities age so if it addressing the faculty members David Mutchler quickly voiced name, address, birth date, gen- registry by would ben- present. “It is not an issue of agreement. Many students also der, race and Social Security enrolling in college, and could efi t to have government fi les, they your integrity. It is an issue of approved of this idea. “All the number. The record would also be tracked for the rest of their might as well do it.” human nature. It’s not you, it’s examples of faculty access I’ve house information about fi eld lives, is frightening,” Tony Pals, Some students say that this everyone.” heard most directly impacted of study, credits, tuition paid, fi - the public director of the Na- rule should not apply to private Some faculty seemed to echo the individual,” commented nancial aid received and would tional Association of Indepen- institutions, which do not re- this sentiment, stating that they one. “It should be the individ- follow the student if he or she dent Colleges and Universities ceive as much federal funding as did not wish to risk biasing ual’s choice.” transferred schools, or dropped said in an email. “The existence public universities. out and later enrolled. of a central database contain- “I feel that since I pay a lot of “I don’t like the idea of having ing massive amounts of data for money to go to a private school, Military recruiters could a fi le out there with all of my very each of the 16.5 million college it should be my choice to decide personal information in it,” said students in the United States, whether or not I want the govern- freshman Toby Clarke, 18, of Las including those who do not re- ment to have a fi le on me,” said be barred from campuses Vegas, “You never know in an age ceive any federal fi nancial aid, is Carlo Fassinotti, a junior at the Ilana Weinberg criminatory employers. Accord- like today with identity theft and chilling. The proposal begins to George Washington University. U-WIRE (DC BUREAU) ing to the court decision, virtu- ally every law school now has a A federal appeals court blocked policy in place stating that “the the government from enforcing Career Services facilities shall not the Solomon Amendment last be available to those employers week, concluding that universi- who discriminate on the grounds ties could bar military recruiters of race, color, religion, national from campuses because of their origin, sex, handicap, age, or sex- anti-gay policies without the risk ual orientation...” of losing federal money. In 2001, the Pentagon sent let- 6.50/hr The 2 to 1 ruling in Philadelphia ters to over 20 law schools, threat- banned the amendment, which ening to cut off federal funding fi nancially penalizes universities if they didn’t allow military re- who don’t al- cruiters on Work Study Position low military campus. The recruiters on The military’s “don’t law schools campus. The began to co- law was ini- ask, don’t tell” policy operate, but Available NOW tially passed on homosexual- fi led com- by Congress plaints in the in 1996, but ity violated [the law federal court has not been schools’] own seeking to Assistant Advertising Manager actively en- overturn the forced until principles of law. This case the Bush ad- was original- ministration non-discrimination. ly brought by ~Communicate with advertisers took power. New Jersey The court decision ruled that law schools, and overturned the ~Design graphic advertisements the Solomon Amendment vio- decision by a lower court. The lated the free speech rights of decision was the fi rst time an ap- ~Manage important fi nances schools. While the amendment peals court had blocked the gov- applies to all universities, law ernment from enforcing a law. ~Work with billing/accts payable schools have been especially While the decision was a land- adamant in refusing to support mark success for liberal univer- an institution that discriminates sities, some dissenters feel that ~No Experience Required! against gays and lesbians. by refusing to allow the military The case was brought by a net- on campus, this is closing off ~On-Campus Opportunity! work of 25 law schools and 900 valuable opportunity to some law professors. They argued that students. While it allows the uni- ~Paid Training! the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” versity to stand up for its equal policy on homosexuality violated opportunity beliefs, it also denies ~Flexible Hours! their own principles of non-dis- any student, including gays, to be crimination. a part of the armed services. ~Great Résumé Builder! The court wrote that “the Solo- E.J. Dionne Jr., an opinion col- mon Amendment requires law umnist for the Washington Post, ~Advancement Available! schools to express a message that wrote last week that “liberals es- is incompatible with their educa- pecially should be worried about tional objectives, and no compel- the growing divide between the ling government interest has been armed forces and many parts shown to deny this freedom.” of our society. They should ac- Law schools have long-stand- knowledge that if liberals stay out [email protected] ing policies of non-discrimi- of the military, their chances of nation that withhold career infl uencing the military culture placement services from dis- are close to zero.” 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn

Out This Week!

In Theatres: A dialogue on the Second City

Ocean’s Twelve Jacob P. Silvia ly what I hated about the show. across. Though I did enjoy this laden with communicational ste- Directed by Steven Soderbergh Entertainment Editor Instead of doing an actual parody bit, the part that got me laugh- reotypes, but I managed to fi nd Starring heart-throb Bill Waite of 80’s cross-dressers, they just ing the hardest were the sketches it funny, realizing that it is very George Clooney Copy Editor sang, “Now I’m going to go dress that lasted only a few moments: true. Stereotypes aside, it did end Rated PG-13 like a girl.” Instead of doing an a woman emerging from an asy- in a funny, yet unexpected way: a The following review is in a con- actual Nirvana parody, they just lum to meet with doctors who monologue about the gameshow Blade: Trinity versational format between Bill sang, “I love you so much I’m go- are calmly coaxing her towards channel implying that she wants Directed by David S. Goyer and Jacob: ing to commit suicide, and my re- them, and when she is close, they to have another baby, when the Starring the ominous cords will sell better after I die.” both scream at her, sending her two are clearly unrelated. Wesley Snipes B: I thought the Second J: While it is true that ac- running off, scared and quite B: True, many great jokes Rated R City show had a few good skits, tions speak louder than words, possibly psychologically scarred. are based on stereotypes - some but most of the show was just fi ll- it is easier to sing a song with a These were quick, and funny, true, some not. What makes er with a bunch of obvious jokes. witty remark than it is to act out not dragging on, belaboring the them great is the details: a sur- On DVD J: I found the show to be said remark, poking fun at the punchline (which, I admit, they prise twist, a funny actor, or just rather funny. At times, I could not performance of the parodied art- did do in other sketches). a clever way of saying the same The Bourne Supremacy help but to laugh out loud. I en- ists with their mode of dress and B: I liked the short skits old thing. The Second City skits joyed it as a whole. attitude, while making fun of the too. In my favorite, a man picks didn’t have any of those details; Dodgeball B: I guess I enjoyed it too. artists’ lifestyles with their lyrics. up a woman in a kilt and holds they told the most obvious jokes Even though it wasn’t that clever, I think a parody of Kurt Cobain her in his arms. She puts her in the most obvious ways pos- M: they managed to make the fi ller killing himself fi nds more humor thumb in his mouth and he plays sible, and the majority of them Criterion Collection funny by using a lot of dirty jokes in the fact that its mere words Amazing Grace, with her as the just weren’t funny. Even when and selling them with a lot of en- versus showing him putting a bagpipe. There were a number of they found a unique way to say King of Kings: ergy. They also did a good job shotgun down his throat. great ideas out there, but the bulk something, such as with a quirky Criterion Collection of holding their best material to B: I agree, a song with a of the time was spent hammering monologue about GSN, it was the end, so everyone would walk WITTY remark would’ve been on tired stereotypes and string- no surprise when the husband “24” Season Three away happy. perfect, especially if it imitated ing together a bunch of cheap guessed, “You want another J: Granted, some of their the distinctive Nirvana sound. jokes. When they did a skit about baby,” and I didn’t laugh. stuff was quite risque, I found The problem was that none of the couples therapy, the wife would J: Sketch comedy has Box Offi ce Tops the audience was a bit more racy lyrics were witty, and the parodies say one thing, and mean some- been around too long to be con- with their suggestions for the were all half-baked crap. A cheap thing else; when the man took sidered unique anymore, just National Treasure improvisational bits. There were wig and a fl annel shirt remind her literally, the female marriage new ways of telling old jokes. some gems stashed throughout, I audiences of grunge rock, but counselor was horrifi ed. The skit Thus, they provided both sketch Christmas With the Kranks thought, like the montage of love with no music or lyrics behind it, was loaded with stereotypes - the comedy and improvisational songs throughout the ages. The the parody goes nowhere. cryptic language, the wife think- comedy. Though the audience The Polar Express parody of the 80’s cross-dressing J: Granted, they did miss ing she’s too fat - and not a single had a one-track mind with its fad had me in stitches. the mark in immitation with original joke. suggestions (I must have heard B: That’s odd, because the many of the song bits, but give J: That’s the problem with “porn” at least a dozen times), montage of love songs was exact- them a break: they cannot possi- most jokes: they’re based on the troupe managed to impro- bly perfectly emulate every major tired, old stereotypes. One is left vise to the best of their abilities musician within the past 50 years with a choice: laugh at it, or don’t with what they were given. In and thus depend on the mode of laugh at it. Granted, I knew the the end, I found myself craving CD REVIEW: Linkin Park, dress to get the joke all the way marriage counselor sketch was more. Jay-Z mix styles Deck the halls with dreck or drollery, Brandon Harig ton and Mike Shinoda -- a chal- Michigan Daily (U. Michigan) lenge they are up for in each 12/06/2004 event. This includes Shinoda’s Fah lah lah lah lah, lah lah, lah lah singing attempt at singing the (U-WIRE) ANN ARBOR, Mich. fi rst verse of “99 Problems.” De- - Jay-Z marked his retirement livering Jay-Z’s lyrics without Jacob P. Silvia lion dollars, but I assume that that Christmas fi lms have run with the critically lauded “Black the trademark Jigga slur, Shino- Entertainment Editor was strongly due to the fact that their time. Maybe when we get Album,” but he may be the da manages to make the song the fi lm appealed to the teen- a new Christmas paradigm, we most active retiree this side of his own all. At the same time, You might think that I am a age crowd, who would go to see can beat that dead horse, but Florida. After re-collaborating Jay displays mastery when he horrible person, some combi- the fi lm for its sexual content, it’s been pretty much the same with R. Kelly on a disappointing pushes himself, laying down an nation of Scrooge and the Grin- language and brief drug refer- holiday with the same tradi- effort aptly titled “Unfi nished amazing lyrical delivery during ch, but I simply dislike Christ- ences. These recent fi lms are tions for quite some time. Business,” Jigga also adver- “Jigga What/Faint” as the back- mas movies of late. Sure, back nothing like A Christmas Story Maybe we need some other tised that a second joint project ground delivers a double-time in the good old days (circa 1983 or It’s a Wonderful Life. feature-length fi lms regarding would be released. That album, tempo for him to sing against. at the latest), Christmas movies On the other hand, there are the other holidays observed in “Collision Course,” is a blend of Though “Collision Course” had a point. We experienced the fi lms that would seem genu- and around December. Regard- some of Linkin Park and Jay-Z’s is a collaborative effort, it is life of a family during the trying inely Christmas cheery, such as less, have some happy holidays, most successful tracks into an obvious that Jay-Z is the fo- season, or some mystical crea- Christmas with the Kranks or whichever ones you observe. odd concoction that somehow cus. Linkin Park often fall into ture of Christmas mythology. The Polar Express. I did want to works. a background vocal to Jigga or However, nowadays, it’s be- see Christmas With the Kranks The album begins with the jump in for the second half of come a gimmick. A stupid mov- after reading the John Grisham screaming guitar rock of Linkin the song, playing second fi ddle ie with Christmas thrown in as novel Skipping Christmas, but Park grating behind the hip-hop to one of rap’s living legends. an afterthought in hopes of rais- when I saw the goofy slapstick rhythms and melodic lyrics of This also seems to be the case ing box offi ce sales. The most nature added to the fi lm, I had Jay-Z’s “Dirt Off Your Shoulder” on the accompanying DVD, recent failed attempt at this second thoughts. The Polar and LP’s “Lying From You.” The which features an MTV per- quasi-Christmas genre is the Express seems a light twist on track is a tight synthesis of both formance with all of the tracks ever memorable fl ick Surviving the Yes Virginia motif involving originals, and the result is ener- from the collaboration. Visually, Christmas. This gem came out Tom Hanks and a mystical train getic and original. Produced by Bennington and Shinoda seem to theaters back in October (be- (the movie’s namesake). Yes, Linkin Park’s Mike Shinoda, the to fade into the background fore Halloween). Call me crazy, this one might be worthwhile, album hits its stride when the while Jay-Z takes center stage. but are we not supposed to wait and may just win the Academy energy of electric rock meets With their seven-track re- until at least Thanksgiving be- Award for best animated fea- Jay-Z’s lyrics -- the predominant lease, Jay-Z and Linkin Park fore smearing on the Christmas ture-length fi lm (my vote goes theme of the collaboration. don’t seem to take many chanc- cheer? The fi lm did make 11 mil- for The Incredibles), but I think killermovies.com At times, the album comes es, though it is an experiment across as merely Jay-Z’s rhymes all the same. While some songs over a Linkin Park song. “Big like “Izzo/In the End” come Pimpin’/Papercut” is identical off as almost boring, the up- WANTED: to the original “Big Pimpin’” tempo tracks from “Collision Music Writer with no variation of the original Course” more than make up for lyric or chorus, as Jigga reas- it. Though “Numb/Encore” has sures everyone that he’s a “pimp been the featured release from Why? in every sense of the word.” the album, there are numerous So we have music reviews. This sort of exactness does not tracks from the record that can hinder Linkin Park, though, as be lauded for their quality. With every track stretches their lyrics “Collision Course,” Shinoda was If you are interested in helping the campus keep hip with the latest and onto a format well beyond what able to make an experimental greatest hits (or misses), drop us a line at [email protected]. As they were intended. Songs are release that featured the best of sped up and slowed down, each Jay-Z with a rock accompani- you may have noticed we have not had an on-staff music review for quite some forcing a different delivery from ment worthy of a post-retire- time. Please consider helping us out by speaking up about the musical culture. Linkin Park’s Chester Benning- ment release. Thanks! Friday, December 10, 2004 ENTERTAINMENT 5 Magician, illusionist Bob is more pretentious than you

experimental fi lm does nothing can be classifi ed as narrative. Eric Vaughn more than create a mood or bring Some people consider animation The Guy new techniques to the screen. to be in category separate from with the What’s interesting is that many narrative and experimental. I bringing thrilling experimental fi lms try to tell a disagree and feel that animation movie story, like the documentary Pilots can be either a narrative or are Badass! which was screened at experimental fi lm. The same goes show to Rose-Hulman camera AAFF. As an experimental fi lm that for documentary fi lmmaking. also tells a story, the fi lm must use Some documentaries tell a Bob Schulein very non-conventional techniques. straight forward story, such as Co-Editor-in-Chief Pilots followed a man’s enlistment Trekkies. Others, such as AAFF’s on Saturday through eventual discharge from Thunder Perfect Mind are abstract I had the privilege to see the Ann the US Air Force. The fi lm never portraits, and can be classifi ed as Dale Long to provide me the ability and Arbor Film Fest last week in Hatfi eld showed the main subject being experimental. Rose-Hulman News material to perform in most hall. The AAFF highlights some of interviewed and most of the images Experimental fi lms as a genre are venues and situations. To the so-called best experimental were random shots of AF stuff. usually too “diffi cult” for mainstream Eric Vaughn doesn’t mind make a living in entertainment fi lm in the world. I really enjoyed A narrative fi lm that was audiences. Because these fi lms being upstaged by a duck. you have to be able to handle these fi lms but found many fl aws considered “experimental” when don’t tell a straightforward story, The young magician and il- any situation. that exist in the entire experimental it was initially released may lose many people are confused about lusionist fi rmly predicts that “The biggest challenge with fi lm genre. This article will compare its “experimental” soon. Sergei what they should “get” from the his family pet, Sebastian, an today’s audience is their atten- and contrast experimental and Eisenstein’s 1925 antiwar classic fi lm. In a society that is focused eight-year-old Pekin duck, tion span. People are used to traditional narrative fi lmmaking The Battleship Potemkin contains on making things easier and more will be the star of Saturday’s the fast moving 30-second TV techniques. a lot of montage editing – cutting formulaic, experimental fi lms show at Rose-Hulman Insti- clips. I keep my show mov- A narrative fi lm is defi ned as any between unrelated shots to create cannot usually fi nd a widespread tute of Technology’s Hatfi eld ing to keep their interest. The movie that tells a story. Movies a mood – and was considered audience. As seen in Potemkin, Hall Theater. The fast-paced primary focus of my magic can be short or long, bad or good, radical upon its initial release. This many experimental techniques and high-energy show, which is to take people away from comedy or drama; just as long technique has been picked up by will fi nd their ways into traditional starts at 7:30 p.m., is part of the their daily grind and stress of as they tell a story. Hell, some mainstream movies such as The fi lms, so there is value for a normal college’s fi ne arts series. their lives . . . I do fi nd that a porn can be considered narrative Godfather and is now considered audience to view them. Tickets are $8 for adults; $5 lot of tricks that entertained fi lmmaking. Bad narrative fi lms standard. Traditional narrative fi lms will for senior citizens, non-RHIT and fooled audiences over 100 include Battlefi eld Earth, Freddy A narrative fi lm can contain always be my poison of choice, students and youths 10 years years ago still play extremely Got Fingered, and From Justin to many experimental fi lm elements. but I dig a wacky experimental and younger; and free for all well today. A good magic trick Kelly. Good narrative fi lms include The P.T. Anderson fi lm Punch fi lm every once in awhile. Though Rose-Hulman students, facul- performed in an entertaining The Godfather, Airplane, and Drunk Love (starring Adam Sandler) I usually walk away frustrated ty and staff members. Persons way still works, even with to- Aladdin. transitions between scenes by by the lack of “meaning” in an can pick up tickets in the Hat- day’s younger audiences.” Experimental fi lms explore fi lm showing rotating psychedelic experimental fi lm, I also walk away fi eld Hall Ticket Offi ce from 1-5 Vaughn became fascinated techniques, and focus on how a colors. These transitions have with new ideas to tell my stories p.m. weekdays or reserve tick- with magic at age 10 when a ma- fi lm is made instead of the story. nothing to do with the story and are in a more interesting fashion. If ets by calling (812) 877-8544. gician performed at a college Many experimental fi lms explore there to bring extra feeling to the you love fi lm, you need to at least Wanting to be different in his hometown of McPher- techniques in editing, visuals, story. Love contains more narrative appreciate the explorative nature than most magicians, Vaughn son, Kan. He began reading or sound. In its purest form, en elements than experimental, so it of experimental fi lm. chose to use a duck (instead books about magic from the of a rabbit) as an animal prop local library, and started per- for his show. The relationship forming routines for family, has lasted throughout most of neighbors and school classes. Vaughn’s career as a profes- After earning a bachelor’s de- sional magician. gree in music performance in “As with most family pets, Se- college, Vaughn became a pro- bastian runs our household,” fessional magician, perform- Vaughn admits. “He is a great ing in major shows (like Rose- traveler. We let him spend time Hulman’s Fine Arts Series), in the hotel bathtub so he can company events and private adequately primp for his time parties throughout the Mid- in the spotlight.” west. He also is a drummer for Vaughn’s award-winning act some of the top jazz, rhythm & features computer-controlled blues and blues groups in the lighting and energetic music Kansas City area. (which should be showcased Vaughn didn’t have to look in full splendor in the Hatfi eld far to fi nd his assistant, Aman- Hall Theater); modern adapta- da. The couple met in college tions of standard illusions, fi rst and has been married for 12 performed by Harry Houdini years. She puts her master’s and Harry Blackstone, Sr.; a degree in business administra- One more week of hot, rope escape, by Vaughn’s wife, tion to good use by handling Amanda; and several magical the business and marketing routines that require audience side of the company. participation. More information about “An evening of fun is what Vaughn and his magic/illu- delicious Papa John’s the audience will experience,” sions can be found on the Web Vaughn promises. “I have de- at www.magicbyericvaughn. veloped my magic repertoire com. Pizza before the holiday break!

Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large One-Topping One-Topping Store Hours... Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am 99 Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am Campus Only Campus Only ONLY 9 ONLY 7 Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required www.magicbyericvaughn.com ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/04. Not valid AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/04. Not valid with any other offer. Valid only at participat- 232-PAPA with any other offer. Valid only at participat- ing locations. Customer pays all applicable ing locations. Customer pays all applicable sales tax. Additional toppings extra. sales tax. Additional toppings extra. 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn Campaign fi nance hurts free speech Letter to the editor starve political parties for cash, especially third parties that can As one of those people use all the money they can get. At least who requested Wednesday’s Also, they feared that the space Open Forum on student in- I have left in the political arena by under- formation access, I appre- funded parties would be fi lled by ciate those of you that at- opinions special interest groups that were tended. I was encouraged unaccountable to the voters. Most by the fact that by the end of importantly, critics feared that the the meeting, everyone has a John Kropf new law would severely impact better idea of the issues in- Opinions Editor citizens’ freedoms of speech when volved, and that the tension discussing politics. in the room seemed to have The McCain-Feingold campaign Since the passage of the law, the decreased somewhat :) fi nance reform is a disgrace to the political landscape has changed. I would now like to put United States. It saddens me to In some ways, the law has proved the information access issue know that the United States Con- critics to be a bit short-sighted. The aside and focus on trust. An gress – an organization charged big two parties have found other opinion that I have formed with supporting and upholding sources of revenue, though third due to this whole process is the constitution of the United parties are now having a harder that the overall level of trust States – has decided to limit the time fi nding money to broadcast of one another at the Insti- rights of the public in such a way. their messages. Unaccountable tute has been reduced due to The goal of McCain-Feingold special interest groups such as the information access dis- campaign fi nance reform was MoveOn.org, or the Swift Boat Vet- cussion. to limit the amount of money erans for Truth, raised hundreds of However, I did see some spent on campaigns and limit the millions of dollars, which they used hope during and after the sources from which politicians to supplement the messages of the meeting - hope that by the could receive contributions. Soft parties they were campaigning for, end of the meeting, on the money – donations from unions, instead of replacing them in the whole the participants (my- corporations, and other wealthy political advertising arena. self included) now trust each groups or individuals to political Critics of the law were vindicat- other more than when the parties, nota individual candi- ed, however, on the free speech meeting started. I hope that dates – was demonized as a ma- issue. The law prohibited the http://graphics.jsonline.com those who attended the meet- jor source of corruption in the mention of the name of a can- U.S. Senators John McCain and Russ Feingold have been on a mission ing can help spread the word political fi nance process. So the didate in any ad run by corpora- to limit the sources from which politicians can receive contributions. and see if at the very least we law banned parties from accept- tions, labor-unions, or certain can restore the level of trust ing so-called soft money contri- interest groups 60 days before an the law doesn’t prohibit indepen- Even so, I believe that Mc- at the Institute to where it butions. McCain-Feingold also election. This basically means dent groups from discussing can- Cain-Feingold is either poorly was before all this started. To imposed restrictions on political that a corporation or labor union didates in public forums, as long conceived, or a calculated plan to me, that’s far more important advertising, such as when politi- wanting to run an ad about a can- as the discussion occurs 60 days or keep challengers from replacing than the information access cal advertisements could be run, didate is not legally allowed to more prior to the election. While incumbents in offi ce. Either way, issue. what they could contain, and who mention the name of the candi- that is true, arguing in support of the law is an impediment to the was allowed to run them. date if it will run within 60 days of an unconstitutional idea, because political process, and a violation Donald Bagert Critics of the law feared that it the election. This provision is an it only infringes on constitutional of the right to free speech. The Professor of Computer Sci- would cause major problems for infringement of every American’s rights some of the time does not soft money ban takes money out ence and Software Engi- the American political system. right to free speech. change the fact that it still infring- of the hands of the third parties neering First, they thought the law would Supporters of the law argue that es on constitutional rights. that need it most. Transcript survey Letter to the editor commentary As an author and literary ership and authorship. This denying an article to be print- Bob Schulein should be counted? artist, I have come to cherish should be especially true of ed. In this sense, I believe that Co-Editor-in-chief Dr. Western, who sent out the the value of complete control mediums that aim to provide a if we are to achieve any ac- original survey e-mail, clarifi ed over the pieces I write. This home for literary artists as well ceptable level of free speech in Like many of you, I was sur- that the open forum held on combined with the publish- as an opinions forum. Giving the media, the power needs to prised to receive an e-mail last Wednesday, December 8 was to ing power of the internet have editors too much power over be given to the artist’s them- Tuesday requesting me to fi ll help him make a decision. He enabled me to express myself what actually gets printed selves. Moreover the medium out a privacy poll pertaining to will ultimately make the decision with my pen (or laptop as it without proper checks and needs to be edited by a force faculty access of academic tran- on whether to open transcripts were) with a freedom that can balances from the authors, dedicated to being an incuba- scripts. I was disconcerted be- to all faculty or not. He said on be described as an indepen- results in a dictatorial media tor of free thought, and not act cause the issue of electronic ac- Wednesday that he hoped to dent artists dream. I have also censored and semantically as a corporate parental unit. cess is a very large one and I was be able to make a decision by been able to get myself pub- edited to suit the selfi sh needs It boggles me that even in a being asked to make a decision Tuesday’s Institute Meeting. I lished in more formal medi- of the editor. small academic community with little information. The next was glad to see such an active ums such as the Rose Thorn Maybe at this point you are we have an entity acting as a time the administration would conversation on Wednesday but and Ink. Newspapers and wondering why this particu- self-interested medium, in- like to include students in an believe it would have been even similar regulated publishing lar writer is so fi red up about stead of one that serves those important decision, it should better if the campus had more mediums can provide a great creative control over his arti- of us who do our best to be an give us more information before background information before deal of accessibility and cred- cle. In all I spent over 8 hours intelligent voice to others. asking us to make a choice. voting. ibility to a writer, with the crafting the article that was The piece I intended to The survey was accessible via I appreciate that students’ small catch of leveraging the published in the Thorn last print (take it or leave it) can Banner Web between Tuesday, time was considered and the medium the ability to censor week (“DeMOCKracy”). From be found at (http://www.rose- November 30 and Tuesday, De- survey was kept to one short cember 07. An open forum on question. For the next survey, and edit a piece. initial draft to fi nal edit, it was hulman.edu/~javellbj/me- the matter was held on Wednes- if a document discussing an is- This system is not an in- quite a lengthy process; one dia/docs/articles/DeMOCK- day to involve students in the sue was attached to the survey herently bad one. With edi- in which I took a great deal of racy.pdf). On a similar note… discussion. It seems to me that request e-mail, we would be tors who have a defi ned goal pride in doing with the result if you are looking for a free and this process was done back- much more informed. Another of serving their authors and of a very mature piece for re- uncontrolled venue to publish wards. Shouldn’t we have been idea is sending out an informa- readers, a paper can be an lease to the public. The last your own artistic material, I able to discuss the issue before tion e-mail before the survey e- exciting venue where a writer thing as a dedicated author have a section on my person- voting? I sure would have liked mail is sent out. can express himself with little that I needed to mature my al site (brandonjavella.com) to know about the issues before The lesson to be learned here fear of having their piece ed- piece was someone taking the called “Learning to Share.” Go casting my vote. is that students need more in- ited in a way they would deem additional time I had spent to my page and click on the And then came an all.student formation before being asked to inappropriate. After my expe- editing and deem it not wor- share link. I plan to host artis- e-mail from CSSE professor Da- voice their opinion. Democra- riences with this system [week thy to print. tic works done by people who vid Mutchler on Tuesday, De- cy is a wonderful system when of October 29, 2004] however, I At some point an editor has would otherwise go complete- cember 07. He said the open fo- the voters have the knowledge question its integrity and abil- to say, “Ok, this is your piece…” ly unpublished. I aim to host rum was not actually to discuss necessary to make an informed ity to effectively serve myself and claim that they deem it and maintain that section as academic transcripts, but to choice. I applaud the adminis- and my readers. printable or not suited for the long as I can … without any discuss the extent to which stu- tration for involving students The goal of any effective medium. It is not the editor’s non-artist-approved editing, dents and faculty should have a and faculty in a big decision publishing medium should job to make the fi nal cut based of course. say in issues involving electronic such as this and hope they con- be to create an organized and on their opinion of what works access. So wait a minute. Let me tinue to do so. Only next time, self-sustaining venue for free better semantically, but rather Brandon Javella get this straight. The purpose of please let us know what we are the forum was for students to really talking about before you speech, which is cultivated to be an editing resource and Class of 2006 petition our uninformed vote ask for our opinion. through an empowered read- mediator for encouraging or Software Engineering Friday, December 10, 2004 SPORTS 7

Last week’s Jessica Gross and Neil Harrison Honored Upcoming Andrew Twarek cer who were also very fun to hang school football and for him to de- sports Staff Writer out with,” she added. velop so fast says volumes about athletic Head coach Brad Hauter is proud Neil’s desire to excel and succeed Earning spots on the list of top of Gross’ success. The Academic at any endeavor he pursues,” head scores student athletes in the nation is All-American award is based on coach Ted Karras said. He added, events diffi cult to say the least. The Col- campus involvement and academ- “Neil leads by example both on the Men’s Basketball ic success as much as it is athletic fi eld and in the classroom. He is a Men’s Basketball lege Sports Information Directors Saturday, Dec. 11 (4-3, 1-0 SCAC) of America (CoSIDA) have named prowess. Hauter pointed out that well-rounded individual—balanc- “Jessica has led by example in the ing community service (Bikes for Rose-Hulman Dec. 4 Jessica Gross and Neil Harrison to classroom and on the fi eld. How- Tykes, etc.), fraternity, football, and vs. Anderson Rose-Hulman 55 an ESPN The Magazine Academic ever, she has shown great leader- academics in outstanding fashion.” 7:30 p.m. vs. Hanover 67 All-America College Division Sec- ond Team for their accomplish- ship abilities in speaking up when The award is meaningful to Har- ments in the fall sports season and she recognizes the need. This has rison, but he, too, takes a more Wednesday, Dec. 15 Dec. 9 their hard work in the classroom. led her to be selected as a leader modest stance. He thinks that, “it Rose-Hulman Rose-Hulman 69 Gross is an electrical engineer- with our team and also within the is a nice award because student at Wilmington other organizations she is involved athletes devote countless hours to vs. Depauw 60 ing major on the women’s soccer 7:30 p.m. team. She was one of two seniors in.” their sports and their studies, and on the 2004 squad, and has started Gross receives the honor with I don’t think people who haven’t modesty, stating, “I think it is great gone through that experience fully Women’s Basketball in more matches than any player to wear a Rose-Hulman jersey. In that the award gives such recogni- grasp how diffi cult it really is. So Women’s Basketball (5-3, 0-1 SCAC) fact, she did not miss a start in the tion and honor to the student ath- it’s nice for me personally to get Saturday, Dec. 11 Dec. 7 75 matches held over the last four letes who have worked so hard on that recognition, but I feel that stu- Rose-Hulman and off the fi eld.” dent athletes as a whole need to be Rose-Hulman 78 years. Her career totals include vs. Mount St. Joseph Harrison is a football player and given more credit as well.” vs. St. Mary 65 three goals and eight assists for 14 2 p.m points as a midfi elder. is a mechanical engineering major. Much credit has been given to He fi nished his senior year this sea- Rose-Hulman student athletes Dec. 9 In the classroom, Gross main- tains a 3.95 GPA. She is an offi cer son with 65 tackles, good for third through the years. The last two Rose-Hulman 53 Friday, Dec. 17 of the campus Tau Beta Pi chapter on the team. Harrison added three awards are part of a long history of vs. Depauw 81 and is a member of the Delta Delta interceptions, three pass defl ec- Engineer success on the fi eld and Rose-Hulman Delta fraternity and Circle K ser- tions, and a pair of forced fumbles in the classroom. Sports Informa- vs. Calumet St. Joseph vice organization. Her experiences to his collection of statistics as a tion Director Kevin Lanke summed 7 p.m. Swimming on the soccer fi eld have helped her defensive back. In his three-year things up “The tradition of the career, he totaled 166 tackles and Academic All-America program Dec. 3-4 develop skills for the classroom and Sunday, Dec. 19 extracurricular activities as well. fi ve interceptions. began in 1978, and Rose-Hulman Rose-Hulman Rose-Hulman Away from the gridiron, Harri- has earned 61 awards in the past at Depauw Invitational “Athletics has taught me how vs. Marian College hard work can get you where you son holds a 3.90 GPA and is a mem- 26 years. The remarkable statistic Men -- 5th of 10 teams 2 p.m. want to go. Team leadership has ber of the Phi Gamma Delta frater- is that we have had at least one Women -- 6th of 9 teams shown me the power of leading nity. He was on the basketball and honoree for 19 consecutive years. by example,” Gross said. Soccer baseball teams in high school, but That would be impossible without Teams in bold denote is more than just a serious sport, found his place on the Engineer a campus fi lled with faculty and Games in bold denote winners. though “I really enjoyed getting to football squad. students who are at the very top of home games work with girls so dedicated to soc- “For a guy who did not play high their fi elds.” Rose-Hulman earns Clabber Girl Trophy for fi rst time with win over St. Mary-of-the-Woods Rose-Hulman News throws and outrebounding the Pomeroys 29-21. Rose-Hulman Institute of In the second half, the offenses Technology rewrote its women’s took over. Rose-Hulman fi nished basketball history book with its 59% from the fi eld in the second fi rst-ever win over crosstown ri- stanza, 60% from three-point val St. Mary-of-the-Woods Col- range (6-10) and hit 14-16 free- lege, earning a 78-65 victory at throw attempts. St. Mary-of-the- the Sports and Recreation Center Woods, meanwhile, fi nished 44% on Tuesday. from the fi eld and buried six of Sophomore Rebekah Forsyth its seven three-point attempts, (Farmersburg/ North Central) highlighted by a 5-5 effort from led the Engineers with a career- Smith. high 26 points and a season-best The Pomeroys relied on a 14- 16 rebounds. Freshman Jill Floyd 3 frenzy of scoring over three (Bloomington, Ill./Olympia) add- minutes to take a 49-41 lead with ed 21 points, including 19 in the 11:37 remaining on a pair of free second half. throws by Wood. The advantage With the victory, Rose-Hulman was short-lived, however, as obtains the Clabber Girl Trophy Rose-Hulman rattled off 10 con- for the fi rst time. The trophy, secutive points to take a 51-49 courtesy of Terre Haute’s Hulman lead at the 9:53 mark. Floyd bur- and Company, has been present- ied a pair of three-pointers and a ed annually to the winner of the Photo courtesy Rose-Hulman fi eld goal in the paint, while Carl- crosstown women’s basketball The Rose-Hulman women’s basketball team had their fi rst-ever win over St. Mary last Tuesday night at son added a layup. matchup since 1995. the Hulbert Arena. Another three-pointer by The Engineers also continued Floyd snapped a 51-51 tie and their best start to a season in we’re going to have to be ready and buried a pair of key second- and fi ve steals. Freshman Kylee put Rose-Hulman ahead for school history with a 5-2 record, to go from the opening tip,” said half three-pointers. Junior Anna Wood rounded out the Pomeroys good with 9:06 remaining. The and head coach Tony Hill earned Hill. Guy (Martinsville) added 10 re- in double fi gures with 11 points. lead grew to nine points at 62- a women’s basketball school re- Other key contributors for bounds and scored four points in The game was a tale of two 53, with two more Floyd trifectas cord 16th career coaching win at Rose-Hulman included sopho- the paint. halves. Both teams struggled of- and a four straight points from Rose-Hulman. more Suzy Carlson (State College, Junior Andrea Smith led St. fensively for the fi rst several min- Forsyth making the impact. The “We’ve weren’t really aware that Pa.) with a well-rounded line- Mary-of-the-Woods with 20 utes, with the Engineers leading Pomeroys were able to close there was a trophy in this game, score of 16 points, eight assists, points, including fi ve three-point 24-22 at halftime. St. Mary-of- within six points on a pair of oc- because we’ve never won it be- seven rebounds, four steals and fi eld goals. Juniors Jamie Elpers the-Woods shot 30% from the casions, but Rose-Hulman bur- fore. We’ve still got a long way to two blocked shots. Junior Karyn and Darci Rector pitched in with fi eld and held Rose-Hulman to ied nine consecutive free throws go. We’ve got another big game Kost (Avon) added eight points, 15 points each, with Rector add- just 21%, but the Engineers re- down the stretch to seal the vic- on Thursday (at DePauw) and six rebounds and three assists, ing nine rebounds, seven assists mained close by hitting 8-13 free tory. Volume 40, Issue 11 I bet you wish you had this kind of power. Friday, December 10, 2004

The Germ and I Alexander J. Clerc Unfortunately, the plethora of pathogens I spoke of last week is still thriving inside of me. And like I said, when you’re sick, it’s your prerogative to do whatever the hell you want, and now I want to whine and moan about being sick. Enjoy. I’ve tried everything to rid myself of this grievous malady. I tried drugs. I tried getting extra sleep. I tried asking the germs nicely to please move out (I even offered to help them move into my roommate). I tried listening to Celine Dion all day to drive the germs away. I tried drinking lots of fl uids to drown the germs. I tried drinking absolutely no fl uids to make the germs really dry. But nothing worked. I was at the end of my wits. I couldn’t discern a way to get the germs out; their ways were so mysterious to me. I had to fi nd out what makes these germs tick. So to do just that, I invited a germ to sit down with me for an interview (ala Barbara Walters) so I could really get to know him. Here’s some of our conversation:

Me: So what kind of germ are you? Germ: I am a streptococcus pneumoniae bacteria. However, a more accurate answer is that I am a Sudafed-induced hallucination. Me: Mr. Germ, how did you get inside me? Germ: I was living on your electric nose-hair trimmer. I got on there when your roommate accidentally used it to fl oss. Me: How do you keep evading my immune system? Germ: Actually, your immune system and I are friends. We collaborate: he lets me live and I make you sick so you’ll take more drugs. It’s all part of a conspiracy your immune system created to feed its ravenous addiction to NyQuil. Me: How’s your love life? Any steamy secrets? Germ: Germs reproduce through mitosis, you moron. Me: I think I’m learning a lot...

Needless to say, I didn’t learn anything. Top Ten Reasons Professors Want Our Transcripts 10. They need them to fi gure out who won last quarter’s pass/fail pool 9. Because there are only so many times you can read this month’s issue of “Structural and Multidisciplinary Optimization” 8. Their scrapbooks 7. There is nothing they like better than to hang out and talk about that awesome time they all gave you an “F” 6. Other professors make fun of them over it 5. Transcripts make really cool wallpaper 4. It’s necessary to protect America from the terrorists 3. The transcripts are part of Hertz’s crazed ransom demands 2. They look a lot busier when Midgley rolls around if they have a mountain of Godin’sHerbig’s Pun of the Week I don’t know what circuits are open; I’m transcripts on their desks not up on current events. 1. Many professors still cling to the ancient belief that by owning a student’s transcripts, you own their soul. --Aaron Meles Wacky Prof Quotes “I told my fi ance I was going to start class by yelling, ‘Penis! “I have to go on a fat man’s lament on British bacon...I’ll be Penis! Penis!’” back in a minute.” --Prof. Dee, on how to get started on reproduction --Prof. Casey, longing for better bacon

“To be honest, I don’t care if it’s done right or well.” “This is so important, I’m going to draw a leprechaun... with a --Prof. Martensen, on the importance of correctness pirate patch.” --Prof. Chambers, on teaching methods “I’m not a felon, but boy, it was close.” --Prof. Smith, on brushes with the law “Now, crying is okay, but I don’t want to go down in the records as having made a student bleed during an exam!” “If you’re Amish, we’ll go ahead and solve this with a picture.” --Prof. Sutterer, after a student’s stress-induced nosebleed --Prof. Chambers, respecting other cultures “It’s the kind of thing an academician thinks up and says, ‘Ha “Why? Because PepsiCo is sponsoring CSSE333.” ha, we’re gonna screw the students today!’” --Prof. Azhar, on Sodabases --Prof. Eccles, on diffi cult problems Send your prof quotes or other humor material to fl [email protected]

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of The Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of the Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions, unless you know the answer to this question. All material is copyright of its owner. Timeliness is next to godliness. Take that, Dave.