2018/ 2019 annu al repor t Helping children through positive parenting for more than 35 years

1 2 C ontent

1. A little about us 2. Chairperson’s report 3. Director’s report 4. Treasurer’s report 5. Statistics 6. Activities and Impact 7. Thank you!

3 4 A little about us...

The Parent Centre strives to con- • Facilitate the safety and emotional development of the child from conception till early tribute to a society in which every adulthood. parent/caregiver is able to raise • Promote involved and nurturing motherhood and fatherhood. • Promote the well-being and self-esteem of parents/ caregivers. resilient and well-balanced chil- • Prevent child abuse, victimisation and neglect. dren so that they are able to de- • Contribute to the prevention of teenage pregnancy, substance abuse, HIV/AIDS. velop their full potential and be • Enhance the child’s capacity to be a resilient, caring, competent and creative protected from victimisation and member of society. abuse in communities free from • Encourage the establishment of a loving, nurturing environment that strengthens violence the family and society

Our Teen Parenting pro- Parent Infant Home Visiting The PACES (Parent and Com- General counselling and gramme equips teenagers programme provides munity Empowerment and specialised Zero to Five with parenting skills which information and support to Support) programme contrib- Counselling is aimed at enables them to be more pregnant women during and utes towards widening the engaging the parent into a effective, responsible, nurtur- after birth to encourage posi- safety net for children. Offer- partnership where infor- ing mothers and fathers. tive parent and infant attach- ing workshops, talks, training, mation is shared and the ment. support groups and counsel- parent’s own problem-solving ling. ability is facilitated.

5 Chairperson’s report

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” – Frederick Douglass On the 18th of July 2019, Mandela Day, the first troops of the SANDF were deployed to the to assist the police in those areas plagued by crime, gangs and drugs. Despite this, almost five weeks later, the crime statistics for the Metropole remain devastatingly high. On 14 August 2019, Dr Don Pinnock who is an author, investigative journalist and Research Fellow at the Centre for Criminology at UCT wrote a piece for the Daily Maverick entitled “The tectonic forces that triggered ’s eruption of violence.” The article paints a dire but accurate picture of eroding social values, a fracturing social fabric, particularly family support, caused by rapidly growing cities and poverty and inequality which lead to urban disorder and violence and create a vacuum for organised crime to take root and thrive. Dr Pinnock identifies and unpacks four factors underpinning the recent flare in violence. Two of the four factors include the dissolution of the family and a factor he labels as “the impact of unwantedness.” Dr Pinnock explains what we know so well as an organisation namely, that “love and care are what families are for, a survival instinct that predates human existence. Having a mediator between a child’s temperament and the challenges of entering and mastering the world creates bonding. Infants who are securely attached generally become well- adjusted, explorative adolescents and responsible parents.” He explains that in violence ridden communities however, children experience physical abuse, sexual abuse and often witness violence against a mother by an intimate partner. More than 60% of children in live in homes without a father. Young men in these communities who grow up under these conditions, without positive male role models, often reclaim their masculinity through violence. With a hollowed out dysfunctional state unable to provide adequate support to these communities, civil society continues to fill the vacuum. At risk families and children need our services more than ever. How do we keep our doors open and continue to provide our services as sources of funding dry up and the country teeters on the brink of bankruptcy ? In this regard the Board and I share the sentiment of the Treasurer. We must prioritise sustainability and focus on generating income from some of our programmes, marketing and exploring new funding. This will require focused and consistent effort by the Director, Management Team, with assistance from the Board. The Director, Management and Staff of the organisation continue to demonstrate amazing character and a positive attitude during challenging times. The Board and I thank you for your resilience and unwavering commitment to the organisation and the communities we serve. A heartfelt thank you to our funders and donors without whose support we could not continue to operate. Thank you for your generous and continued support and for believing in the organisation and the services we provide. I must thank the amazing team of women I am privileged to serve with on the board. Thank you for the support you have given me and for the expertise, time and resources you generously give to the organisation without hesitation.

Vanessa Pather (Chairperson)

6 Director’s report

Good (caring, loving, attentive, attuned, firm) parenting is the foundation for healthy, well-functioning and non-violent children, families and society. It has been this way throughout history and is unlikely to change in the future. In fact it is predicted that top skills that will be required in the 4th Industrial Age are soft skills such as respect, etiquette, resilience, empathy; the ability to get along with others and work ethic – which children first learn in the context of loving and nurturing parent-child relationships and family environments. The importance of parenting has never before in history received so much recognition and attention in legislation and the media. The concept of “The First 1000 days” is one we have all become familiar with. Paradoxically financial support for parenting programmes has not followed and funding has been even harder to access. Research reveals that skills development funding primarily goes towards programmes that teach hard skills such as maths, reading and writing. We must fight for this to change. Parenting skills development is of critical importance as well. We are thankful that we are able to engage in collective action through participation in the National Violence Prevention Forum and South African Parenting Programme Implementers Network, both excellently led by Dr Chandre Gould, senior researcher at the Institute for Security Studies. We are extremely thankful to all our donors who have funded The Parent Centre during the past year. Your support has enabled us to counsel, train and positively impact 17 901 parents caring for 34 482 children during the year under review. Many parents have shared with us how their lives have been significantly changed through our programmes. Some of their stories are shared in this report. A particularly proud moment during the year was when we moved into our very own home at 22 Wetton Road, Wynberg on 19 November 2018. This was the realisation of a long-held dream after 35 years of renting. We are immeasurably grateful to the Trifid Foundation who has been our funding partner for more than 15 years, for funding the property purchase and renovations. Our continued good governance and financial management was yet again confirmed through another clean audit conducted by Compass Consult Inc and the Due Diligence Compliance Certificate awarded by Community Chest of the Western Cape.

The year ahead will certainly bring its own share of challenges which will require “strong nerves and conservation of resources” as mentioned in the Ditakeni Investment Company Report 2019. The Parent Centre will nevertheless keep on shining and persevering to accomplish our mission, mandate and strategic goals. We plan to offer support and train thousands of vulnerable parents across Cape Town; train home visitors employed by NPO Seven Passes Initiative in the rural community of Touwsranten (George) in The Parent Centre’s Thula Sana home visiting programme; scale up the Teen Parenting Programme in several provinces through the Global Fund Young Women and Girls Programme 2019-2022; collaborate with celebrity Elana Bredenkamp-Afrika in Baby Brunch events in Gauteng and Cape Town and expand our training into the corporate sector where many working parents are needing support and guidance to cope with parenting challenges and the work-parenting balance.

This will only be possible through teamwork. At The Parent Centre we are extraordinarily blessed to have a dedicated, talented and creative team of staff, volunteers and Board - who are passionate about helping children through positive parenting. Venecia Barries (Director)

“It is predicted that top skills that will be required in the 4th Industrial Age are soft skills such as respect, etiquette, resilience, empathy; the ability to get along with others and work ethic” – which children first learn in the context of loving and nurturing parent-child relationships and family environments.” (Brent Lindeque) 7 Treasurer’s report

While I would like to focus on the financial numbers in this Treasurer’s Report, one cannot help but comment on the situation we find ourselves in in South Africa. Unemployment has reached the level of 29%, Eskom is on the brink of collapse, and our president is trying to deal with issues of national importance while at the same time contending with factional fighting within the ANC. The Public Prosecutor seems to have gone rogue and we currently have so many commissions dealing with the wrongs of the Zuma era. Only now is the terrible damage that the Zuma era wrought being truly felt by all – government, civil society, private sector and the person on the street. On top of it all, with reading the press, it is really difficult to know who is right and how we get ourselves out of this mess!

If we look at NGO’s in this context, we are bound to face and deal with challenges every single day. Not only with funding but also with the challenges of doing our work out in the communities that need us the most. Crime, fuel prices and lack of empathy make each day a challenge for us.

With the economic climate being as weak as it is, funders are becoming scarce. One cannot blame funders for tightening the purse strings, there are just less funds to go around. How can one blame international funders from pulling funding out of South Africa when our political situation is so dire? And the most important question is: how are we, in the NGO Sector going to deal with this? Before we attempt to answer this question, let’s look at our numbers for the financial year ended March 2019.

Our revenue is down 1.7% from 2018. This is entirely due to the decrease in our sustainable income from workshop, counselling and other services. Our interest income received a boost in 2019 due to the Trifid Foundation donation received in the 2018 year which was invested in cash for a period of time. Due to tight controls, expenses are down 1.75% resulting in an operating profit for the year of R 497 467. At R 5.1m our cash reserves remain positively high, but it needs to be noted that R 4.7m of this is committed to the new building renovations.

Now, to try and answer the question posed above. Yes, we are in very challenging times, but look at the work we do in the communities, how much poorer South Africa would be if we do not provide these services. Of course, none of this is possible without funding and it is getting harder and harder to get funding. The answer can only be that we need to earn our own income to make us sustainable. This is easier said than done, particularly in the marketing space, which has always been our biggest challenge. We do have the talent, best practice and passion here in The Parent Centre when it comes to teaching parenting skills, but it is imperative that we exploit these to earn income. Future funders are more likely to fund sustainable organisations than those who are merely surviving on grants and run the risk of folding. It is critical that we get this right in the very near future, otherwise we could to be another sad statistic.

I firmly believe, that if each and everyone one of us in South Africa plays our part in addressing the wrongs of the past, doing the best we can every day and most importantly being of service to those in need, this country will improve. It is going to be interesting to read how history judges this time in South Africa. My gratitude goes to the Director, Finance Manager and all the Staff who continue to give of their best and who always actin the best interests of our parents, communities and the organisation. My message to you is that the next year and possibly years are going to be extremely difficult, and now more than ever we need your strong passion for the organisation. Debbie Coombe (Treasurer)

8 STATISTICS APRIL 2018 - MARCH 2019

No of counsel- Professionals, ling cases, home Broad public community visits, talks, Number of Parents/ dissemination Children workers, educa- groups, work- sessions caregivers (incl parents & Impacted tors, social ser- shops, training caregivers vice providers and interviews Western Cape Counselling 241 394 241 576

Antenatal & Postnatal Home visits 4 288 4 288 578 652

Pregnancy & early Parenting Clinic Talks 264 264 14 255 20 956

Parents Support Groups 10 192 398 1 196

Positive Parenting Skills 8 56 247 639

Specialised Parenting Workshop 2 2 9 19 307

Mentoring & Support Programme 3 3 88 1 320

Fatherhood Training 13 52 191 477

General Parenting Talks 27 29 1 634 151 6 349 Teen Parenting Skills training - with teenage parents & 17 383 348 870 caregivers Eastern Cape, Gauteng, Kwazulu-Natal, Limpopo, Mpumalanga, Northwest: Global Fund Young Women & Girls Project Teen Parenting Skills Programme, training of trainers & 38 570 supervisors TOTAL DIRECT SERVICES 4 873 5 663 17 901 334 34 482

Broad public dissemination of parenting information Open days, expos, promo-days, campaigns, advocacy, 19 22 478 251 4 959 indabas, panel discussions, seminars & festivals 1 515 418 Radio & TV Talk, Newspaper & Magazine articles 19 19 (combined) 9 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Parent-Infant Programme (PIP) The Home Visiting Programme has rendered support services to various communities across Cape Town for about 26 years. The heartbeat of the programme lies with the 8 extensively trained local women, and their 2 supervisors who facilitate regular weekly supervision and in-service training to ensure efficient service delivery. Support services are offered to pregnant women and new mothers in these communities who are particularly vulnerable because of lack of support, poor relationships with their own parents; abuse; rape; teenage pregnancy; trauma; HIV/AIDS; intimate partner violence and history of depression or other mental illness are offered 5 antenatal and 15 postnatal home visits which typically ends around 6 months after the baby’s birth.

Main intended outcomes: • For the mother to have the best possible experience of pregnancy, labour and birth. • Responsive, attuned, non-intrusive parenting and secure parent-infant attachment and bonding. • Prevention of child neglect, abuse, abandonment. • Positive infant growth and development.

Activities & Outputs: • 4 288 Home visits were conducted with 578 mothers. • 264 Pregnancy and Early Parenting clinic talks were conducted with 14 255 pregnant women. • The PIP Manager attended meetings of the South African Parenting Implementers Network (SAPPIN) of which she is a driver group member. This network facilitates partnerships and collaboration between parenting programme implementers nationally, in order to raise concerns and ensure that SA based and adapted parenting programmes are effective and evidence informed. • The PIP Manager represented SAPPIN at a workshop in London in September 2018. The trip was fully funded by the University Of Exeter Medical Research. The workshop explored the challenges of implementing parenting support programmes across London and SA in relation to the high volumes of domestic violence within homes and communities. • In July and August 2018 the Parent Infant Home Visiting programme originator/ consultant Dr Mireille Landman facilitated a formal Train-the Trainer workshop for the team. The programme manager together with the programme consultant developed and refined a three day Mother and Child workshop which aims to target those working with moms and babies to apply and model an ethos of working with parents within the first 1000days. • The South African Psychoanalytic Association extended an invitation to the Parent Centre to host a specialized workshop showcasing the work of Graham Music, a UK based psychoanalyst well known for his work with children in the first 1000 days of life. He has written a series of best seller books, including “Nurturing Natures”. The workshop provided a unique opportunity to engage critically about the latest scientific knowledge regarding children’s emotional development.

10 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Cont.

IMPACT Letter from Melissa, Mitchell’s Plain “In February this year I went to book at Mitchell’s Plain MOU (Maternity and Obstetrics Unit) and during all the testing I found out that I was HIV positive. I was so overwhelmed by the news that I felt that I could not go through with this pregnancy and the new illness. I went to the TOP (Termination of Pregnancy) section of the hospital but it was not just the pregnancy I wanted to end but also my life. I always knew my status because I was very sick due to this grief. I lost two family members in a space of a year, so I went for a lot of blood test in 2017 and starting this new relationship and falling pregnant made me angrier with myself. I went back to the counsellor and she called Mrs Debbie Meyer and she spoke to me. I went for the abortion and thought she would not phone me again but she did and visited me for four weeks after that to help me deal with my feelings. These counselling sessions really helped me through the pain of dealing with everything on my own. I encourage everyone on this programme to talk to the counsellor. Mrs Meyer was a real pillar to me in my time of need and I will never forget her kindness and emotional support. She is one big personality and I thank her for her candidness and most of all, her compassion. I am sorry to say goodbye on our last week and I am really grateful to The Parent Centre. Kind Regards , Melissa*

Stacy * was referred to the Parent-Infant Attachment Counsellor (PIAC) by the MOU as crisis intervention was required. She had come to book for the birth. The nursing staff could not calm her down as she was distraught, did not want the baby but was too far along in the pregnancy to have an abortion. She shared that the pregnancy was unplanned and she regarded it as a mistake as she was homosexual. Her fears, concerns and anger was heard and held by the PIAC. She continued visiting with her, and her partner. As the weeks went on Stacy started showing excitement for the birth of her baby. Mom and baby are both well and thriving. Baby is breast-fed and growing nicely. Stacy and her partner have shown good attachment and bonding. The care, love and respect shown for baby as her ‘little person’ is heart-warming. With patience, love and support even the most traumatic encounter has transformed into a beautiful love story for mom and baby. * Name have been changed to protect client confidentiality

Acknowledgements

Home visiting is a powerful way of positively impacting the quality of care giving that infants receive. But in our experiences we have found that this task is certainly not that easy. It requires parents and families who are willing and ready to allow a strange person into their very private space. It requires courageous, passionate people who care deeply about parents and infants and who are willing to enter and work in this private and often very challenging space. We wish to express our heartfelt appreciation and admiration for the brave parents who have allowed us into their homes and to our Parent-Infant Team; colleagues and partners, local and international donors, who work relentlessly towards the vision of a society in which parents and children are cherished.

Blanche Rezant (Programme Manager) 11 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Cont.

Teen Parenting Programme Nationally, 2017/18 statistics of births to adolescent girls, aged 10-19 years, remains unacceptably high at 12.7% of all deliveries, with the Western Cape figure at 10.9%. Unplanned pregnancy is an event that can change the entire course of life for these teenagers. The implications for education, financial stability, employment, and health are far-reaching. Since 2003 our Teen Parenting Programme has provided non- judgemental support, as well as parenting skills and life skills to teen parents in , Nyanga and . The programme aims to meet the crucial needs of teen parents struggling to cope with their new parenting responsibility alongside their academic and normal adolescent developmental challenges.

348 teen parents and caregivers, of which 86% were female and 14% male, completed the programme during the 2018/2019 financial year. 62% were biological parents and 38%, primary care-givers of younger siblings. 71% were learners and 29%, teenagers who had left school. 11 of the 17 groups had 100% attendance, an indication both of their need and commitment. Pre-programme vs. Post-programme evaluation comparisons revealed significant improvement in parenting knowledge as well as significant behaviour change, for example, 88% of participants who completed the programme during the second half of the financial year, reported using positive discipline. 91% of participants reported coping better with child care and school work. This was backed up by a 94.5% learner participant pass rate in 2018 comprising 189 of 200 learners in 10 groups. Unfortunately, we were unable to obtain data from 2 schools. Participants reported improved teenager-parent relationships which resulted in increased support by their parents.

They felt they had “become better people” as a result of having gained an understanding of the harmfulness of disrespectful, insensitive behaviour on others. Participants’ raised self-esteem was clearly evident. All participants reported spending time playing, reading, singing, going to the park, etc. with the children in their care. 58% reported spending more time with the children at the end of the programme and having more fun and enjoying their children more.

These results show a very encouraging shift in the parenting behaviour of the teenage parents and care-givers. My thanks and appreciation to my dedicated and passionate team of facilitators: Elizabeth Giba, Nosiphiwo Nomaqiza, Bekiwe Sopangisa, Noxolo Madlakane, Charles George and Phumla Memani.

Julia Starck ( Programme Manager)

12 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Cont. Teen parenting success stories

16 year old mother of 7 month old child:

This programme has helped me a lot. I learnt so many things. It has helped me to be a better mother, tell when there’s a problem with my child. Also, it has helped me boost my self-esteem. I now trust and believe in myself and know that, no matter what happens, my child is my first problem to worry about. This programme has also helped me to show love to my child and affection. I’m a good listener now. It has also helped me with my school work.

16 year old mother of 10 month old child

Being part of this programme has helped me understand my child better. It has helped me identify when something is wrong with my child. Also, my behaviour at home has changed. Now I listen to my parents when they speak to me. I have total respect for them. I no longer backchat when they talk to me. My child is my first priority now and the other things follow after. This programme has changed my self-esteem too.

19 year old mother of 2½ year old child The programme helped me so much to understand my child more; not to hit my child. I have seen change in me because I’m more patient now. Before I was always loud and angry when my child did wrong things around the house. I did like the session about self esteem. It helped me to grow a lot.

13 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Cont.

Global Fund Scale-up of TPC Teen Parenting Programme

The three year Global Fund Grant (2016-2019) funded the implementation of the Young Women and Girls Programme (YW&G). Young women and girls, aged 15-24, have been identified as having the highest prevalence, and rates of new infections of HIV. The Global Fund YW&G Programme delivered a basket of services in 10 districts in South Africa, with the highest prevalence of HIV in young women and girls.

The Parent Centre was approached with an opportunity to scale up our Teen Parenting programme in order to reach 10 000 beneficiaries, in 7 provinces, in the 10 identified districts, over the three year period. As service providers, we trained 204 facilitators and Social Work supervisors of 9 organisations: Childline Mpumulanga, Childline North West, Childline Limpopo, Childline SA KwaZulu Natal, Childline SA Gauteng, Soul City Gauteng, Kheth’impilo Port Elizabeth, Small Projects Foundation East London and Mthatha and Desmond Tutu HIV Foundation Cape Town, to implement our programme. Our Teen Parenting Programme Standard Operating Procedures were documented as a guide to maintain the integrity and quality assurance of programme implementation. In addition, we remained actively involved on a consultative basis and provided Refresher Training and attended Lessons Learnt sessions, when requested to do so, in order to ensure that our Teen Parenting Programme was implemented further afield with the same level of quality service delivery as our beneficiaries enjoy.

The Primary Recipients of the Global Fund grant have reported that the target was exceeded. A total of 11 364 beneficiaries successfully completed our Teen Parenting Programme over the three year period. It is heart-warming to know that our programme is positively changing the way the children of teenage parents/care-givers are being raised in towns and villages, across our country.

My sincere appreciation goes to the Global Fund Primary recipients for engaging us in this opportunity to scale-up our programme. My sincere thanks go to Elizabeth Giba, Noxolo Madlakane, Charles George and Nawhaal Jacobs, who travelled with me to co-facilitate the training over this three year period. This has been a rewarding and enriching experience for all of us. Julia Starck (Teen Parenting Programme Manager)

14

15 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Cont. PACES The PACES team continued to promote positive parenting through its work within the communities across the Western Cape and further afield. We participated in a number of workshops and advocacy forums aimed at reasonable chastisement as our stance on non-violent positive discipline can help to promote a change in the mind-set of many parents, professionals and communities who still believe hitting is the only way. Parenting Training: We facilitated 8 Positive Parenting Skills Training and capacitated 247 parents and caregivers during the period under review at The Church of the Nazarene in Matroosfontein, Delft, Wynberg/Southern Suburbs, Rylands (x 2), Lentegeur, DSD Khayelitsha, and the Orion Church in Rocklands. In addition to the training, we hosted 27 parenting talks, reaching 1 634 parents and 151 professionals. The team facilitated two additional Specialised Parenting Workshops at the Edmund Rice Camp and with DG Murray, impacting nine 9 parents and 19 professionals. The core of Parenting and Community Empowerment and Support has being the breaking cycles of violence, abuse and neglect on all levels, authoritarianism, negativity, helplessness and hopelessness, and the establishment of a loving nurturing environment that strengthens the family and society. Building relationships with our children is the foundation of Positive Parenting. One participant said that something that she expected but did not get from the training was a “quick fix to discipline”. She said “I didn’t get it because there is no such thing. I now understand that discipline is a lifelong process which can be taught through daily interactions, so I gained something far greater than what I thought.” “I always thought I knew everything. I used to be very hard on my girls. I am becoming softer and listening more to what they say. Thank you for being there. There were some days I came feeling down and out, but my spirits were lifted by the time we left.” Fatherhood Training: 13 Fatherhood Training workshops were completed, reaching 191 fathers. This year we saw a greater need for this programme as the role of the father was highlighted at many different platforms. The facilitators expanded the training to include some core positive parenting skills, providing fathers with a broader understanding of children and the importance of building relationships with their children. A few fathers were invited by DSD to the #JustMen production at the Baxter Theatre. The play focused on the role of men and how violence can be reduced in their relationships. The men enjoyed this opportunity. The fatherhood facilitators put together an exciting Fatherhood Capacity Building workshop with the staff of TPC, focussing on the common perceptions of men and fathers, the history of father involvement, the roles of fathers, and the mother’s role in father involvement. The staff were challenged to change their perceptions and attitudes towards fathers and encourage more equitable parenting in their families and the communities they work in. Comments from fathers who attended training: “Now I can wash dishes in the kitchen if my wife and kids are busy with something else, before I thought that washing dishes is for females that is the way I was raised.”

16 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Cont. Parent Support groups Our 10 support groups reached 398 parents and 1196 children during the year under review. Parents constantly face and struggle with poverty, violence, crime, substance abuse, all types of abuse, grief & loss, mental illnesses and much more in the various communities. Amidst these challenging circumstances, the support groups are judgement-free, safe spaces which provide an opportunity for parents to come together and be heard; often sharing similar stories that heal others in the group. One lady joined the parent support group 3 years ago. She was initially sceptical about the group. She however shares how the group changed her life and her relationship with her only daughter. They can sit together talk in a civil manner, cry together, share feelings, ideas and dreams and be present. Her daughter was raised by her grandmother so it was challenging for her to understand her as she was set in the ways her grandmother raised. The Parent Support Group helped her understand children’s behaviour and the contributing factors. Acknowledging feelings helped her understand that there are no wrong feelings and that children feel first before they behave badly.

Mentoring and Support (M &S) Programme 88 professionals were impacted through the 3 Mentoring and Support workshops on Bullying, The Five Love Languages, and Self Care. Participants who completed our Parenting and Leadership Training of Trainers over the past years attended these follow-up workshops and were enriched through this process of awareness and growth. The team ran this invaluable capacity building programme since November 2009 and it unfortunately came to end due to funding constraints this year.

Comments from M & S participants “M & S is a source of hope, knowledge and inspiration. Sharing the light and allowing each person to shine in their special way. Thank you for the great impact on our families and communities”.

Awareness We continue to reach millions of readers and listeners through our radio talks and contributions to various publications. The team delivered a total of 19 interviews. We marketed the services of the organisation at 15 open days, expos, clinic talks, events, and through networking initiatives. We reached agreements with a few core publications to submit regular quarterly features which allow us to get our positive parenting message across.

Acknowledgements: I would like to acknowledge the PACES team who worked relentlessly, often under difficult circumstances, to deliver support services and training to so many families over the last financial year. Thank you for being so passionate about positive parenting! Continue to SHINE BRIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!

Jann Watlington (Programme Manager)

17 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Cont.

Counselling The number of cases seen during the period under review has decreased almost by half. Whereas we saw 427 cases in the previous year, this year we only saw 241. The number of children impacted decreased from 811 to 576. Counsellors conducted 394 first sessions and only 153 follow up sessions. There are 2 main situations that account for the decrease: Counselling in Gugulethu has not taken off as we wished. Sufficient marketing was not done and the social worker employed for this purpose left the organization suddenly. A replacement had not been found by the end of this financial year. Counselling in Mitchell’s Plain was put on hold because the counsellor concerned resigned and it took a while before this position could be filled. We welcome Ester Wilson to the team. She started counselling in Mitchell’s Plain in January 2019. Many parents do not attend follow up sessions, which causes concern about the children's well- being. During the past year there were 226 appointments not kept. This included first time and follow up sessions. This was particularly the case during July and September last year. We speculate that clients do not keep appointments, possibly due to cold weather and protests in communities. Furthermore, besides the economic climate which places great financial strain on families, many parents are single and fathers do not pay maintenance. This results in clients cancelling appointments because they do not have bus or taxi fares. The counsellors follow up telephonically on cases they are concerned about. IMPACT The Parent Centre’s main aim was and still is to prevent child abuse and to empower parents to build positive relationships with children who will ultimately emerge as emotionally healthy adults. While we believe that our work does contribute to prevention our experience reflects a growing trend of very troubled parent-child relationships and complex cases. Increased substance abuse, poverty and unemployment, and violence in the home and in the community as well as divorce are four of the main reasons. All of this has also contributed to increased psychiatric illness. These factors impact on parenting ability. Cases where parents approach the Centre for everyday parenting challenges and the desire to be better parents are few and far between. This presents a very bleak picture but our counsellors do have many moments of respite even with the complex cases when some parents return for follow up

18 ACTIVITIES & IMPACT Cont. sessions and persevere despite their difficult circumstances. Furthermore we have seen remarkable success in these cases. The following impact stories and evaluations speak to this.

A single mom, living in at a shelter due to domestic violence: Her children are still very young but she needed parenting support after the trauma. She has learnt about positive parenting skills and is able to explain how she tried the skills. Her own self esteem has improved and she was granted independent living at the shelter. She is enjoying doing the small things like cooking for her children again. She has decided to reach out to her estranged father, as she wants her children to know their family. She is also willing to discuss the children having contact with their father.

The parents were referred by the court for positive parenting skills: They have 2 daughters aged 11 and 6 years. There were allegations of neglect as a result of parents’ heavy drinking. Children missed school often. There were no routines and boundaries in the home. The children were removed from parents care and are now back with them. 7 sessions were attended since October 2018; two with both parents and five with the mother alone because the father was admitted to a rehabilitation centre during this time. Both parents showed a willingness to attend counselling sessions on positive parenting skills with a specific focus on implementing a consistent structure with appropriate boundaries in the home for both children. Mother demonstrated a commitment to the process and has been working to consolidate her parenting skills. Positive routines were implemented for the children including the importance of quality time being organised to address the needs of both daughters

Supervision and support for counsellors The complex nature of cases requires more supervision and support for the counsellors therefore monthly peer supervision was increased to 3 hours and a programme to address wellness for counsellors was arranged with Le Femme Wellness Centre. Counsellors also attended a number of programmes to up skill themselves, some of which were paid for by themselves. We appreciate and value the commitment of Carmen De Vos, Brenda Lane, Kaashifa King, Ester Wilson, Shahana Mia and Yumna van der Schyff for providing a caring and effective service to parents and caregivers. In her evaluation of the counsellor, one mother wrote: “ ..Very good listeners, caring, understands, supportive”

Fouzia Ryklief (Co-ordinator) 19 20 Thank you to our supporters

The support and interest of our Donors, Funders and Sponsors enhances our capacity and determination to sustain essential services to the parents, children and communities in need. We thank you for your unwavering support or our work!

Gifts in Kind cont... Funding cont... Ambiance Lentegeur Library A&G Gray Charitable Trust Trifid Foundation Anthony Barries Lentegeur Lobelia Community Hall Anonymous Vanessa Pather Brady's Media Mugg & Bean Constantia Carmen De Vos Venecia Barries Western Cape Association for Infant Brand Innovations Nandos Belgravia Community Chest of the Western Cape Mental Health

Brenda Lane Nandos Corporate Business Automation Zaitoon Abed Centre for Social Development in Africa - UJ Osmans Wholesalers Dandelion Trust Riyaadh Abed Debbie Coombe Claudia Stofberg Rodeo Spur Claremont Department of Health Western Cape Department of Social Development Dawoods Butchery Rylands Library Western Cape Elite Cash & Carry Rylands Primary School Din Din Trust Gourmet Pantry Shuaib Salie European DIY Retailers Association I. Diedericks Southfield Library Global Home Improvement Network Ismail King Sunflower Fund Hillary Rosenthal Jive Tessa's Bakery Jacobs Family

Johnson & Johnson Thembe Tourism Jann Watlington

Jonkershuis Thusong Centre Tafelsig Khairu Nagdee Judith Coetzee Women in Philanthropy South Africa MAID Foundation Julia Starck Wordpress Do Action Hackathon National Lottery Commission Kaashifa King Yabonga Nicky Samuel Labia Theatre Rolfe-Stephan Nussbaum Foundation Laurie Peregrino St. Andrews Church LCD Building Solutions Stichting Varda Lenie’s Coffee shop Sylke Burger 21 The Parent Centre Team

BOARD OF MANAGEMENT: Vanessa Pather (Chairperson); Shona Sturgeon (Vice-Chairperson); Debbie Coombe (Treasurer); Nosipho Yedwa; Vanessa Minnaar ; Venecia Barries (ex-Officio)

STAFF Director: Venecia Barries Management: Jolyn Crow, Zaida Jansen, Blanche Rezant, Julia Starck, Jann Watlington

Parent-Infant Programme: Blanche Rezant (Manager); Amanda Adams; Judy Brice; Phumza Jam-Jam; Stine Lundgren; Mariam Malan; Susan Mitrani; Deborah Meyer; Nompumelelo Sampies; Noludwe Tanale; Babalwa Tatsi Ngala; Deseree Van Schalkwyk; Vivienne Williams; Lucy Yozi

PACES Programme: Jann Watlington (Manager); Samantha Arends; Ruth Bruintjies; Pat Coombe; Carmen De Vos; Nadia Dollie; Masakane Godola; Helen Gosnell; Elize Hendricks; Nawhaal Jacobs; Sharifa Jansen; Kaashifa King; Amanda Lindsay; Shahana Mia; Gcobisa Ngalo; Shuaib Salie; Berenice Scott; Deon ThÖle; Sandi Trout; Gadija Van Eden; Ester Wilson; Jenny Wright

Counselling: Fouzia Ryklief (Co-ordinator); Carmen De Vos; Sharifa Jansen; Brenda Lane; Kaashifa King; Shahana Mia; Yumna Van Der Schyff; Ester Wilson

Teen Parenting Programme: Julia Starck (Manager); Charles George; Elizabeth Giba; Phumza Jam-Jam; Noxolo Madlakane; Phumla Memani; Nosiphiwo Nomaqiza; Bekiwe Sopangisa

Support Jolyn Crow (Finance & Admin Manager); Zaida Jansen (PA & Office Manager); Judith Coetzee; Lhalha Feni; Liesl Hill; Zaiboenisa Parsley; Claudia Stofberg; Bronwyn Thompson; Letitia Tomlinson; Shonelle Williams

CONSULTANTS Zaitoon Abed; Blum Khan; Mireille Landman; Gillian Mitchell; Margi Niewoudt; Spoor & Fisher

VOLUNTEERS: Ursula Baatjes; Anthony Barries; Sylke Burger; Judith Davies 22 23 A: 22 Wetton Road, Wynberg, 7945 T: 021 762 0116 E: [email protected] www.theparentcentre.org.za WIRED for success Facebook: @parentcentre Wellness, Integrity, Respect, Excellence, Diversity Twitter: @theparencentre Instagram: @theparentcentre

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