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Res Gestae Law School History and Publications
2006 Vol. 56, No. 10, March 21, 2006 University of Michigan Law School
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March 21, 2006 Vol. 56 No. 10
Destination Gulfport: Spring Break in the Wakeof Katrina
Submitted By In Trent Lott's hometown of Heather Freiburger Pascagoula, Mississippi, we visited an apartment complex pring Break: the with around200 units. The roofs perfect time to jet were missing on all20 buildings to exotic locations, and black mold pervaded the ca p nrest(orrnargaritas), interiors. The residents had and enjoy yourself. It's also the received eviction notices two perfect opportunity to slip away months prior and the buildings and work for a great public were condemned, but still people interest cause (or alleviate the remained. When asked where guilt you have over taking that they would go, most did not firm job - either way). have an answer. On the waitlist for FEMA trailers which would This spring break, Sarah seemingly never arrive, they Bookbinder, 3L, organized a would have to move out. The trip for fourteen students to the gulf away in the storm leaving nothing but more fortunate ones had a car to live coast regions devastated by Hurricane the cement foundation slabs. in. As if the devastation of the storm Katrina. We spent the bulk of our wasn't enough, residents must cope with time information-gathering (a Ia Erin What was the condition of the dwellings? the crime that has gripped the region Brockovich) for the Mississippi Center Many people were living in apartments in Katrina's wake. One woman sleeps for Justice. Prior to Hurricane Katrina, with missing ceilings, sometimes roofs, upstairs (despite the missing roof and the Gulf Coast was already experiencing and quite frequently with toxic black inevitable rain) because residents had a great housing shortage. Now, after the mold growing throughout. been raped in her complex. storm, the situation is even more dire with hundreds of people displaced. What was the landlord doing about these We took pictures, made notes, and problems? Evictions after the storm were tried somehow to record what was Wewentdoortodoor atllOgovemment frequent. Some evictions have been an indescribable experience. The subsidized apartment complexes to gather motivated by property owners looking government has granted money for information about their post-hurricane to tum a profit by selling to developers. rebuilding efforts, but that money is condition, on which the government And still, many people continue to live earmarked for horne owners, not for still has little information. We focused on in dwellings which would be �onsidered apartments. The attorneys we assisted three basic issues: utterJy ltdt\<#Ji nto�er hope to change that allocation. Since . �prt{f mcu�la��el· \.In. some landlords have not yet repaired Was the complex still there? Countless apartments, tenants are either homeless buildings had been completely wiped MAR 2 2 2006 CONTINUED on Page 17 ' ' =2======·�= ==···Sf=· ·=�= · =====�=£=S=�== £=s =ta===£ ·==Jm= a=r=cq=2= 1=,=2 =0 =0li =-======�''�------�.es Q?).esta.e Editorial: �ol 56, �o. lD ;ffinibersi±J;! of 2Hffidjigan ]Qafu �cljool About Those Grade Curves
Editor-in-Chief Mike Murphy ere at the RG, we're all for that exactly 83 students did better than freedom of information. That's them) or as vehicles of self-glorification
Executive Editor: why in this issue we give you for people who got high grades (the other Matt Nolan th g waited Fall2005 grade curves. way around).At the risk of sounding like But, like any resource, grade curves can cynical 3Ls, we see plenty of flagellation Managing Editor: be used and they can be abused. Hence, and glorification around here as it is. (For Steven Boender the following disclaimer: using the grade example, turn to our columns on pages curve for course selection or pass/fail seven and ten, respectively). Contributing Editors: determinations may be an unwise over Patrick Barry, Adam Blumenkrantz, reliance on almost-meaningless statistical The only reasonable use of grade Dan Clark, Diana Geseking, information. Read at your own risk. curves is to see if your professor has Nate Kurtis, Bria LaSalle, failed anybody recently, and it's fairly Heidi Manschreck, Liz Polizzi, Grade curves for a class are necessarily comforting to see that they rarely do. Michelle Sharpe, Jay Surdukowski determined by the quality of the exams Or to overcome that mid-semester is-it written - a factor necessarily dependent possible-to-pass-this-class anxiety (again, on the collective skill of the test-takers, the answer is always yes). Res Gestae is published biweekly during the school year by students of the UniversityofMichiganLaw the effectiveness of the instructor, and School. Opinions expressed in bylined articles the difficulty of that year's exam.A much By this time in the editorial, you're are those of the authors and do not necessarily more useful statistic for maximizing probably not reading anymore because represent the opinions of the editorial staff.Articles the possibility of a high grade is the you're too busy flipping over to page 12 with contact information in italics at the end of the article or "submitted by" in the byline are opinion number of people in a class. If less than to see just how many people beat your A pieces, not factual news stories, and the opinions 40 students are enrolled in a class, the in Con Law. So, we can say whatever we contained therein are not necessarily reflective law school's "required " curve is only want here since you'll never see it.Booger of the opinions of the editorial staff Res Gestae "recommended." booger poopie-pants. articles will occasionally contain adult language and are not intended for readers under 18. Articles may be reprinted without permission, provided that Note that a "recommended " curve Grade curves will continue to be a the author and Res Gestae are creditedand notified. does not automatically, always, or even staple of the Res Gestae, in both its print Res Gestae welcomes submissions and letters to consistently result in a higher average and electronic forms, as a way to appease the editor. Submissions may be made via email, preferably as an MS Word attachment. Letters grade; but it certainly sounds comforting. cat-killing curiosity and make the grading of the editor must be clearly and unambiguosly A much more efficient strategy for process more open. (And, because we know marked "Letter to the Editor." Res Gestae reserves maximizing your chance to attain a that grade-curve expectation accounts the right to edit all submissions and letters to editor higher grade is to stop trying to find for the majority of our readership.) in the interest of space. slight edges in the system, take courses of Nevertheless, we challenge our readers to Mailing address: interest, and actually go to class having use them wisely-or at least abuse them Res Gestae done the reading. sparingly. On a final note, your Con Law University of Michigan Law School grade isn't that bad. (Except it is.) 625 South State St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Curves are further abused as a self flagellation device for people who Web Site Address: earned lower grades (by finding out • http://students.law.umich.edu/rg
Office: 116 Legal Research Phi Alpha Delta Movie Night "PCU'' Starring Jeremy Piven of TV's "Entourage" Tues., Mar. 28, Bpm RoomTBA [email protected] Snacks will be provided ------� JRcs �cs=t=ac ·==�arc 21=, 2 ======0 = = = = 06 � == ��== == � ======��==�= ==== 3��� EverythingTha t's Fit to Moot (Court)
By Bria LaSalle The Michigan Chapter of the American The ABA Law Student Division Constitution Society sent teams to the First sponsors both the Client Counseling n November, over 50 teams Constance Baker Motley National Moot and Appellate Advocacy competitions. entered the preliminary round Court Competition in Constitutional In February, lLs Corie D'Angelo and of the 82nd Annual Henry M. Law, held at Columbia Law School on Angela Tyler placed second in the team Ca p l Moot Court Competition. This March 4 and 5. 3L Aron Boros and 2L competition at the Region Finals Client year's case concernsan appeal by a woman Osvaldo Vasquez successfully made Counseling Competition. D'Angelo charged with murder and involves Fourth, their way to the quarterfinals, while lLs placed first in the individual round at the Fifth, and Sixth Amendment issues. Adam Litle and Sonya Mays were named intraschool level. lLs Mitch Holzrichter Following four days of competition, finalists. Litle and Mays will advance to and Alanna Clair finished 2-1 for the twelve teams were selected to compete in the national competition in Washington, oral arguments portion of the National the quarterfinal round held in February. D.C. in June to compete against the other Appellate Advocacy Competition. finalists. From the quarterfinals, four teams Michigan's National Trial Competition advanced to the semifinal round, held Two teams participated in the Second team won the regional round at Case March 8 and 9. The semifinalists were 3Ls Annual National Sexual Orientation Western Reserve University Law School Mary Catherine Martin and Richard Zito; Moot Court Competition at UCLA in in February. 2Ls Masayo Nobe, Anthony 2Ls Alicia Carra and Lubna Alam; 2Ls February. lL Stephen Kilar and 3L Lange, and 3L Marisa Perry will advance Jessica Stoddard and Derek Milosavljevic; Germaine Gurr wrote the winning brief, to the final round held in Dallas from and 3Ls Sarah Bender-Nash and Scott which was successfully argued through March 22 through 25. Risner. the semifinal round by Kilar and 1 L Lyzette Bullock. 3Ls Cliff Davidson and As these results show, UMLS students OnApril 6, Stoddard and Milosavljevic Lousene Hoppe also competed. don't shirk from the opportunity to flex will face off against Bender-Nash and their competitive muscles and show their Risner in the final round, to be held in The Intellectual Property Student superior lawyering skills. Congratulations 100 Hutchins Hall. The finalistswill argue Association sent two teams to the Giles to all who participated in competition this before Judges Kozinski and Reinhardt of Sutherland Rich Regional IP Moot Court year! the Ninth Circuit and Judge Boggs of the Competition in Chicago, on March 10 and Sixth Circuit. 11. 2L Judi Co thorn and 3L Sabu Mathai •
won the preliminary round held among • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Michigan students also achieved University of Michigan teams. Joining • • impressive showings in regional and them in Chicago were 2Ls Cosmin Maier • APALSA presenrs ... • • The Second Annual • national, trial advocacy, appellate and Maher Haddad, who placed second • •
advocacy, and client counseling moot in the preliminary round at Michigan. • •
• ORIGINS • court competitions. • • lLs Stephanie Da, Antonia Eliason, • CULTURAL SHOW • 3L Josh Deahl and 2L Jackie Roeder Anna Nesterova, and David Szeker • • joined Bender-Nash and Risner at the represented the Law School at the • Michigan Union Ballroom • • •
regional Philip C. Jessup International National Native American Law Student • Friday, March 24, 2005 • Moot Court Competition at Wayne State Association Moot Court Competition • at8pm • in February. The team won the overall in February held at the University of • (Silent auction fearuri11g items from local • • busi11esses will start at 7:30pm.) • competition, as well as three individual Washington. 3L Anne Finken, lL Chris • •
awards in the oralist category: first (Deahl), Coulson, and 2L David Hobstetter • • fourth (Risner), and fifth (Bender-Nash). represented UMLS at the Eighteenth • Tickets on sale starting • • Wednesday, March 15th during • Joining the team at the competition was Annual Environmental Moot Court • • lunchtime in front of 100 HH alternate Ted Kill, lL, and coaches 3L Competition at Pace University in • • Joseph Ashby, and 2Ls Jackie Kahng February. Coached by clinical professor • $10 in advance/ $12 at the door. • • •
and Lubna Alam. As winners at the David Santacroce, the team competed • • Proceeds to benefit the regional level, they will continue on to among 72 other teams. Coulson won the • • the international rounds to be held in competition's Best Oralist award in the • APALSA Fellowship Fund • • •
Washington, D.C. at the end of March. third round. • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • �cs By Michelle Sharpe two years of that, everybody was saying, "oh, I guess you're a Japanese ark D. West, the Nippon law expert." And I was saying "uh.. Life Professor of Law, is the . I guess so?" But an odd thing about director of both the Japanese me, I probably have the least interest Le Program and the Center fo r in Japan as a country of all the Japan International and Comparative Law at the related faculty at the University. I never Law School. While in practice with the got into the Japanese cultural stuff, New York lawfirm of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, into the things people said were truly Wharton & Garrison, West spent a year Japanese. Like the whole pop culture in Tokyo conducting an investigation fo r stuff, it just seems normal to me; you Sumitomo Corporation, whose chief copper like Dane Cook or whoever, I like trader created the largest individual trading Hitoshi Matsumoto. But if my work is loss in history through unauthorized any good, I think that's why it's good. trading. He earned his B.A., magna cum I'm not approaching it saying, "oh, I laude and Phi Beta Kappa, from Rhodes want to write something about geishas' College, and his J.D. with multiple honors kimonos. " I try to approach it like any from Columbia University School of Law, law professor would, "ok, what do I where he was notes and comments editor fo r think is interesting here?" I think that the Columbia Law Review. He clerked fo r approach makes it more interesting to the Han. Eugene H. Nickerson of the U.S. people who aren't interested in Japan District Court for the Eastern District of to begin with. New York. He has studied and taught at the University of Tokyo and Kyoto University, What about your book on sex and and has been a Fulbright Research Scholar, thing. But mostly I was thinking, "it'd be suicide and- sushi? an Abe Fellow, and afe llow ofthe Japan Society cool to know that because nobody else for the Promotion of Science. Since 2003, he would." That's the whole "grew up in a Oh yeah, that was the last one. Law in has served as director of the University of small town" thing. So I started that and Everyday Japan: Sumo, Sex, Suicide and Michigan Center for Japanese Studies. then went to Japan, and the first place I Statutes. Honestly,that's not a good book. went was a little rural town, much like the Don't buy that book. Why Japan? Why Japanese law? places I grew up.And I had just enough language at the time that I could have Ok, I'll mention that. Save $60 on That's always the first big question. I rudimentary conversations, and it felt just Amazon. grew up in these little rural towns in the like home, there was no culture shock, just South, mostly in south Louisiana and country folk.So I missed out on that whole What happened was that I wrote an Tennessee. And I wanted to prove I was mysterious, exotic stage where you go and article about the rules and norms of law really cosmopolitan when I got to college. are awed by everything in Japan. I kind of sumo associations in '96, and I actually So, I initially told myself I was going to of wish I had had that, that I hadn't gone spent a lot of time with the sumo guys. be a real badass and take 5 languages in so full of myself to be impressed. But at the same time, and then I realized I the flip side of this is it all seems normal Did you wrestle? couldn't do that. ... So I figured I'd just now; I get more culture shock when I go take one, but I wanted to pick something below the Mason-Dixon than when I go No. Well, not well, anyway.. ..And unusual and interesting. I'd been curious to Japan. then, after I did the sumo bit, I think • about Chinese, just the fact that you had maybe I found data on noise complaints to memorize all the characters ... . My As for Japanese law, I went to Columbia, from karaoke next. And then I said, "OK, little college didn't have Chinese, so which had a Japanese law program very I've got another article there." And then when Japanese became an option there I much like the one we have here, and I thought, "people would be interested thought, "yeah, that'd be cool, " because again, I thought it would be interesting, in love hotels, " and their placement of the whole character memorization but also that it would be rare, and after CONTINUED on Next Page ------111 �£5 �csht£ • Jllllarcq ? 1, 2006 CONTINUED From Previous Page I can't tell you how jealous I was like four months ago when Steven Levitt, And you're at Michigan because, is determined by statute. Then lost author of Freakonomics and an economist we're so cool? property; why do you get your stuff back at Chicago.... I've talked to him a few if you lose it in Japan? So then I thought, times ...well, I tum on TheDaily Show, and Yes. "I bet I could get a book together on law that guy is on there. And that bums. So in everyday Japan." And I got a Fulbright I immediately emailed the most jealous, That's what I thought. and started going to love hotels and losing envious, bitter people on the faculty, wallets on purpose, and so on. which is of course people like Croley and Well, it's not just that. For one thing, Miller, and said, "can you believe this?" they really had resources in Japanese You're sure you weren't high doing And I started this tirade about how it law. And the other thing really, and this this? should be me and not him. But hey, he's is going to sound so hokey, but it really the one selling books. was the people. When I was interviewing No, not for this one. I can't say that for in Washington, D.C. at the meat market, sure about the next one, though. Nice. Good fraternity. So, why there were some schools that had no academia, why not business? idea what to ask me. They looked at Anyway I kind of threw all these articles the resume and get me in there and together and I think every chapter works You know I just had ideas I wanted to say, "So, what's your favorite apanese well, but it really doesn't work well as an J research. I think a lot of people come to law?" At Michigan, when I go into their entire book. I should have spent more time academia saying they want to teach and room, Sherman Clark, Peter Westen, making it seamless. And the reason why mold young minds, and a lot of times Tom Green, Bill Miller, and Ronald it's not is because I saw each chapter as that's not the best thing for you, it doesn't Mann are there. Bill was the chair, so an individual article. The next one that's make you a productive scholar or even Bill starts the conversation. I had never coming out in Fall '06 is the first book a good teacher. To be a good teacher, met him, knew nothing about him. I had length idea I've had. It's about scandal in you have to be good at scholarship and this article on sumo, it was basically a America as compared with Japan and how research; otherwise, you're just teaching law and econ article, but I walk in and looking at law can help us understand the basics, like teaching a hornbook.So I Miller starts criticizing me from the why certain things are scandalous here came in wanting to research, and thinking beginning: "How can you look at these and not there. And now that I've done maybe I could tolerate the teaching thing. big fat guys in diapers and then come that, I'm just now beginning to find out I had a whole research agenda planned, back and say it's all about rational choice how to do this job correctly. So, people couldn't wait to get into it. And then, as it and law and economics? You mean, there should buy that book. turnsout, I liked the whole teaching thing wasn't anything interesting to report?" too. I find it the most relaxing part of my Immediately I thought, this is what it But not the other one? day. It wasn't my first year. My first year would be like to be there. He's already after every class I would come back here collegial, he's already giving it to me, and No, not the other one. The only reason and collapse. I taught EO, and I would everybody's smiling and laughing about to buy that book is to get my Amazon come back to my office and be soaking it. When I left that room, I thought, "''m ranking really high. wet. Every bone in my body would be going to Michigan." aching. Anyway, there are certain issues That's a good point. I wanted to research, and if you're in The RG would also like to know practice you don't get to do that. My last where you get your fashion sense from? I don't care about the money or year in practice, I billed 3000 hours; so, Someone in one of your classes wanted educating people; I just want my Amazon how am I going to write with that? to know. ranking to be way high. [Pause while reporter tries to figure Huh. Where do I get my fashion sense Croley told us not to tell anyone this, out how long that is] That's a lot of from ... but since he told it to like 200 kids, I hours. think it's OK. He wants to get on The Whatis your fashion sense? Daily Show. It's a lot of hours. If I were to bill my hours now, I'm sure I've had many 300- On my days off, I wear junk like this; I want to get on The Daily Show too. hour months, but those hours are on my just jeans and stuff. I just do not care. But Croley's never going to get on there. schedule: early in the morning, late at when I'm teaching, I try and look a little You should print that, "CROLEY WILL night, whatever. I can completely wipe nicer, and when I have meetings, I try to NEVER BE ON THE DAILY SHOW." my calendar clean and just do it. And look really nice, which is hard given what whenever the muse leaves, then I don't I will print that. It'll actually be the have to do it for a while. header quote. CONTINUED on Page 18 �.es Qi).esta.e • 2ffi{ardy 21, 2006 II LSSS Candidates Share Statements he Law School Student Senate currently working diligently in the hopes the law school and the business and mElections will be held Thursday, of achieving greater cooperation between medical schools through joint social March 23. The fo llowing are the law school administration, LSSS, the activities. Plus, I will always, always statements from candidates fo r LSSS office. basement groups, and the current 1L vote for a Rick's bar night. I would really class. I am exited about working with love to continue in this post and would 2L REPRESENTATIVE the incoming LSSS President to facilitate appreciate your support. Please vote for HADI HUSAIN greater student involvement in all aspects Jamie Kerstetter for 3L Senator! Hi 1Ls! I'd like the privilege of of student life. representing you as Senator. SECRETARY KATE WALES SARAH MOLENKAMP As such, I would address any issues I didn't run for Senate at the beginning Bar month, Halloween party and or concerns that might arise, oversee of the year because I had no idea what I prom - oh my! funding to student organizations, and look would do with the position. After being I've been Senate's little planner, that is into faculty hiring, among other things. here a semester-and-a-half, I have both no lie My proactive attitude, coupled with my come to love our law school and to find I'm cool as they get- though no trend penchant for listening, would enable me some things that I wish were different.As setter to speak for our class, and ensure that an LSSS senator, I would love to focus on And yes, I believe Coke just tastes our voices and interests are heard in the creating a daily e-mail newsletter about better! Senate. events happening at the law school that day and planning more diverse LSSS Now for secretary, I'm seeking your I've been both at the head of student events, such as: community service support organizations and at the bottom of the food days/projects, a law school football Vote for me, and I won't commit a tort. chain in board meetings, developing a set tailgate, and law school intra-mural I'll make sure not EVERY bar night's of skills which I think uniquely equip me sports. Thanks, and I look forward to a at Ricks, to be your representative. great 2L year! And be your voice to the administration, just for kicks! MEGAN LAMBART 3L SUMMER STARTER Friends, REPRESENTATIVE From agendas and minutes to planning Plenty of great seats still available. galore As far as I can tell, LSSSSSS isn't terribly You'll always know what LSSS has in political. Well, neither am I. 3L REPRESENTATIVE store DIANA GESEKING My goal is to keep you in the know But, I do get fired up about a few Hi Everyone, I'll be a superstar secretary, VOTE things: I am running ... again. I have been on SARAHMO! 1) Bringing good food and great people Senate since a 1L as section rep for EFGH. together. I have seen and been there for it all these TREASURER 2) Building a sense of COMMUNITY at past couple years and would love a chance MATT MADDOX the law school so that we get to know each to finish what I started back in fall of 1L Vote Matt for Treasurer. No one else is other and look out for each other. year. I just want to see the Senate throw running, but that doesn't mean I won't still 3) Grey's Anatomy some more damn good bar nights and care a lot about doing the right thing. And, even more damn good sober events. you might think Senate is a vehicle for I'd be honored to put 2/3 of these Hopefully I can help make everyone's the egos of law students without enough passions to use as your 2L Senator. 3L year fun and chill with more great resume lines. Corne on - we clean the memories. Thanks. fridge. Oh, yeah, we decide where law SON YA MAY S students should get drunk next. And, As the voice for 2Ls, I will bring a JAMIE KERSTETTER more importantly, we give out money. In wealth of organizational experience to Thank you for giving me the opportunity any case, I'll do a good job. I'll do my best the Senator position. As 2L Senator, I to serve as 2L Senator this year. It was a to make sure the process of getting money will work to ensure that the dialogue great experience to serve the law school, is open and easy to navigate. between Law School Student Senate and and to repeatedly send annoying bar night Thanks! Vote Matt! the 2L student body remains open and e-rnails. Next year, I plan to continue honest. This year I attended practically terrorizing your inboxes; but I also plan to every LSSS sponsored event, and am facilitate stronger relationships between CONTINUED on Page 17 ------lll �cs �cshtc • 2ffilarcfr 21, 2006 Don't Let Your Life Bully You By Mike Murphy feeling that I could change my life. It was impressions; nobody cares about second easy, back when we were 13 and being place, and nice guys never finish above y voice didn't change until bullied, to accept the inevitable. As cool sixth place. That world wants to tell I was about 16, so you can as we tried to be, we were still the butt of you that you need to be smarter, richer, imagine how much fun I jokes, disrespected, and shamed. There thinner, better, or own more things. It ha le school and the early years is no feeling more fatalistic or cynical wants you to waste your life on status of high school. I was an out-of-shape kid than knowing things won't be okay and symbols, submit to a lifestyle twisted with a mullet and a feminine lilt to my watching as prophecy fulfills itself. towards superficial sentimentality and voice. Suffice to say, my mere presence instant gratification. The reward for in class was inspiration for bullies to stay Today, I feel comfortable sharing these matching these expectations is a bland in school. experiences. After all, it's hard to fling a spit tasting complacency and an odd sense ball around here without hitting someone of alienation. The penalty for failure to When I was a freshman, this kid tried who's had their lunch tray slapped down, conform is pretty much the same. to step on me at lunch. I know it sounds their underpants wedgified, or been weird, but that's what he'd do. This is what subjected to locker confinement. This place That world doesn't want you to feel passed for bullying at my high school. As is like a high school on Skip Day; while good about your life because that's bad I sat on the grass eating my snack pack, all the cool kids are at the beach the nerds for business. Nevertheless, you have to he would walk over to me and try to step are free to form their own hierarchy. Call love your life unconditionally. You have on my thigh. He would even go so far as it "Nerd of the Flies, " if you will. to love it when you win, and love it when to sing while he did, so that other people you lose. The only way to love it is to love would recognize what he was doing. It's Here in law school, I thought I had the joy and love the pain. That's the trick, amazing; I can't remember any of my left those days behind. But sometimes I see? That's how you win. teacher's names (except the unfortunately find them back in full force as I walk the named "Mrs. Gunkleman "), but I can still hallways, classrooms, and bars. Fatalism When I stared that bully in the face, recall that damn song. and cynicism are easy traits to find in a I fully accepted that my face might get law school, even when we do our best to be kicked in. As scary as that was, I didn't My friends and I - yes, I did have self-aggrandizing. I guess it makes sense: care because at that moment I was loving friends; but they were more Dungeon it is easy to imagine a hopelessly flawed my life. Masters than Team Captains, if you get world when we break down absolutes my drift- yelled at him, but he didn't and focus on the instances when our legal I think back on those high school times seem to mind. This went on for a week, system breaks down. We don't often learn and they're a lot funnier now than they maybe longer. I'd like to say I wasn't used how to keep people from getting injured; were then. That's not to say bullying to being put down at school, but I was. Yet, we learn what happens after they're hurt stops; there will always be people in your I hadn't ever been publicly put down like and need to be compensated. We don't life who try to make you feel small, who that, and it wore on me. Mind you, I was often learn how to write a constitution; try to make you the punch line in their neither a lover nor a fighter, I was more we learn how to interpret its arnbiguites. jokes, or try to make you be like them. of a quiet smart-ass. But the next time We don't often learn contract drafting; we All they're looking for is validation of that guy tried to step on me, I had a plan. learn what happens when people break their own insecurities. Don't take their I had ketchup packets open and ready. I their promises and sue. That wears on you hits. Make friends with them if you can, grabbed his sneaker - a new white Nike after a while. laugh at them if you can't, hit them back -and tomatoed the crap out of it. Success! if you must. He yelled, jumped away, and tried to wipe When the world looks so bleak, it's his sneaker off in the grass. That didn't easy to believe there are bad things about Make your life great, not good. work, so he went inside to wash it off. My ourselves as well. How many times have Wherever you go, go hard. However you ass remained surprisingly unbeaten, and you heard someone say "I know doing live, live large. he never bothered me again. this is selfish,but that's how I am?" Think about that. Is that really just the way you And always fight. That lunch period was easily the high are? Since when are personality traits point of my early teenage years. inevitable? Mike Murphy is a 3L. E-mail comments about this article to [email protected]. It wasn't just ruining a $100 pair of And, it's easy to believe we live in a shoes that made it such a victory; it was world where opinions are made on first • II 8 <::%:._ �£5 (!i)£sta£ • 4ffi{ardy 21, 2006 Il l------Bar Month 2006: Hazy Recollections ------111 �£S �£sia£ • ,:ffil{arcq 21, 2006 �"t1f 9 II Reflections on my Term: Successes and Failures Submitted by several serve on various MSA Committees in his/her educational interest. Though Justin C. Pf eiffer and Commissions. The election for my the Office of General Counsel will assert successor ishotly contested. I hope thatthis that justification to its logically absurd his past year, I served as the Law participation in MSA from the Law School extremes, when pressed, they complain School's only representative to continues to increase. that lawyers tend to act professionally the Michigan Student Assembly irresponsibly and contest cases of clear (MSA), the central student governmentfor Second,I unanimously passeda resolution guilt. While I personally believe that their all of the 37,500+ students at the University. calling for reforms to the studentdisciplinary main concern is not spending University In addition to acting as the voice of the process. While my proposals won't be resources to have GC attorneysact contra student body to the administration and considered until next year's amendment retained counsel-like they would actually beyond, MSA also allocates funding to cycle to the Statement on Student Rights and let one of their "Resolution Coordinators" student organizations,including many law Responsibilities, I moved thisissue to a high face an attorney, or one of us for that school organizations. place on theAssembly's agenda and garnered matter-their professed concern lacks support from corners of the University merit. Putting aside the questionable Representing the Law School presents for whom things like due process and fair legality of the denial of counsel, theconcern unique challenges. I have held myself to the procedure don't have the same salience as over professionally irresponsible behavior view that theperson occupying this position they do for us. insults us. The officialUniversity position should not push a political agenda, but implicitly assails our profession-they should act as a filter for the voice of the law The University maintains that the don't trustus to not raise frivolous defenses students. As such, I have voted against my student disciplinary process is meant to and confine ourselves to fighting unjust own personal ideologyJnotably affirmative be educational rather than adversarial, actions. What a nice thank you for the action, when I believed that a solid majority providing extremely lax procedural $36,000 we each pour into their coffers of law students held the contrary view. guarantees. On MSA, I serve on the per annum. We should also take this into Additionally,this position entails being the Election Board. In adjudicating disputes, consideration when the University asks ambassador from Hutchins Hall to the rest we allow counsel, witnesses, public trial, us for donations, for while they may not of the University. The Law Representative and proof beyond a reasonable doubt, listen to the student government; we all has special significance since others on the but we are somewhat of a kangaroo knowthey listen to alumni. I hope that Assembly are deferential to that individual court. However, the kangaroo courts of my successor continues my work on this on constitutional and legal questions, MSA are a far better place to be than the important issue. as well as questions on interpretation of secretive, Kafkaesque, Star Chambers of rules, procedures, and student rights and the University of Michigan. Furthermore, my term has been marked responsibilities, which requires this person by a dramatic increase of regulation to be judicious. Most shockingly, accused students from central campus. The University's do not have the right to have counsel positions on totally disallowinglaw student For whoever succeeds me, it is extremely actively represent them or cross-examine organization lobbying with University important that he or she is able to work well witnesses. The Law School allows this resources as well as new regulations with representatives from the other schools in their proceedings so long as counsel is regarding student organizationregistration and colleges. It is crucial to develop strong another law student or law faculty member. (SOAR) have been troubling, particularly relationships. Not only willit result in you The Law School should allow any counsel to the extent the law students have not had getting more done, you may also develop of a student's choosing, but has a much the type of consultation and comment that some close friendships. For me, my partner better policy than the central campus. would have been appropriate. on the Assembly, who has become a close The central campus policy, not allowing friend, is LSA Representative Andres counsel an active role, purports to preserve I am generally troubled with the Ramos. the educational nature of the process. The central campus bureaucracy. I have MSA position on this issue is that counsel encountered numerous officials who do I wanted to highlight two should be allowed to actively participate not feel compelled to justify themselves accomplishments. One, during my in cases that may result in expulsion or or give the Assembly its proper due. term, there has been a marked increase suspension. This gives deference to a During my tenure as a member of my in participation from the Law School well-functioning system and would only undergraduate (University of Virginia) in MSA. Two years ago, this seat was allow full counsel participation in those student council, some senior officers, vacant. Now, there are three law students cases where the proceeding has become including the University President came on the Central Student Judiciary, a law adversarial-it is hard to claim with a student chairs an MSA Committee, and straight face that expelling a student is CONTINUED on Page 19 s st �� ------== == �======·= ��� ==1 ======0 � =· =�= · · �· =-- == =�=£ ==� £==a=£ ar=c=q=2= 1,=2===0 =06 ==�� WhichMe is Me? By Matt Nolan Lamar Alexander as the 59th "Most Influential Student Athlete inNCAA So anyway, back before I knew � n the final RG, be prepared History;" this is ahead of Magic for my final sendoff, I had random bird flu/w hatever Johnson, mind you. Now, I get that summation, life message; else isn't known yet that could be Alexander was a Governor and yo know I like those by now. If killing me (and if you don't see me ran for President and whatnot, but you buy into that description, you also when this issue comes out, now did he really influence more than probably wonder who in the hell the you know why- this can be my MAGIC JOHNSON? The basketball other Matt Nolan is who shows up in memoirs. True, 800 words is short GOD who told the world he had these columns; the rant, ramble, bad for one's memoirs, much shorter AIDS and kept rolling along? Who sentence structure, stuff doesn't make has built an empire of businesses than A Heartbreaking Work of sense unless you try to get in my head helping inner-city communities? Staggering Genius which I've been which is impossible so it doesn't make Bah. Sure, Magic did go to MSU, reading, and which is awesome, sense, Matt Nolan. That's the guy to and his real name was Earvin, which whom I tip my hat today. even in the waiting room at UHS is kind of funny; so ok.] which is not awesome, and of I'm sick. After nine days of course not reading the five days The #1 thing keeping me living symptoms, UHS has decided "It's a previous to that due to blurry right now, aside from college virus. Come back Monday." This vision/lack of concentraUon, basketball tournaments(seriously, if sounds familiar. Three years ago, but regardless, this is short for I had gotten this godawful disease or when I was a senior, I went into UHS memoirs is my point; so hopefully combinations thereof a month ago, I'd be screwed), is the new one hour feeling more than sick. They told one of you or a high school or me I was only sick. A week later I Carlos Mencia special on Comedy college buddy will do me justice, returned to hear, "you should have Central. If you have not seen it, oh or maybe my dad, that'd be cool) I come earlier; you have pneumonia." man, please do. I want to vote for was really excited for the Michigan Yeah. Why do I go back? Hell if I that man for President; that's all I know, I'm sick and lightheaded; cut v. Minnesota bbaU game. have to say. me a break (on that, and my diction/ punctuation/etc.). Wait, no, it isn't, it's never all I This was cured, partially, the morning have to say when I say "that's all I have to So anyway, back before I knew I had after the (Michigan-less) brackets came say," right? I am at that point where I'm random bird flu/whatever else isn't out, when ESPN Classic decided to air not really looking at the screen as I type known yet thatcould be killing me (and the 1989 Final Four, where Michigan beat this, the bubbles in the 7-Up are fun, too if you don't see me when this issue comes Illinois and Seton Hall by 2 points and tired or whatever this is too change, can't out, now you know why -- this can be 1 point respectively to win the national focus on important stuff or sit in class, my memoirs. True, 800 words is short championship. The wound had salt but too awake to sleep. Arrgh. I have for one's memoirs, much shorter than A rubbed in it when the 1993 Final Four to sit consciously and fall behind; this is Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius played a few hours later, featuring Chris unbearable but also warm. Mmmm. Wait which I've been reading, and which is We bber's infamous time-out (note: if you that warmth is outweighed by the pain awesome, even in the waiting room at don't know what this is, look it up on the in my ear. Where in the hell did THAT UHS which is not awesome, and of course internet now; and, if you don't look it up come from? not reading the five days previous to that or know about it then Zearfoss shouldn't due to blurry vision/lack of concentration, have let you in. I'm kidding. But not "It's like mono, but not mono." That's but regardless, this is short for memoirs really.). what the "doctors" tell me. Is that kind is my point; so hopefully one of you, or a of like what the NIT is to the NCAA high school, or college buddy will do me Monday was also the day I realized tournament? Oh well. Go Blue; and eat justice, or maybe my dad, that'd be cool) there was no way in heck I could make it fruit and vegetables and sleep eight hours I was really excited for the Michigan v. to class; this was a kind of fun feeling, but a night so you don't get sick like me. Minnesota bball game. I detailed this last then the whole sickness-in-ways-I-won't issue; but basically I really, really wanted describe-to-you feeling overwhelmed it Matt Nolan is really sick. E-mail get well Michigan's name to show up in that again to make me once again say "dang." wishes to [email protected]. bracket released on Sunday, March 12th. [aside: ESPN Classic just mentioned Losing thatgame did us in. • ------111 Jl\£5 @£sia£ • �arclf 21, 2006 �-._ 1111 !MSA Representative CandidatesSp eak Out lections fr"the M;chig'" St,dmt Next year will also bring the debate over that affect the University and students ' Assembly will be held online on the issue of affirmative action. I have first there is no need for MSA to waste time and l March 21 and 22. The three hand experience with this issue having resources by issuing political statements. can · tesfo r Law School representative to the been a student at UC Berkeley during the MSA are James Bryant, 2L, Laura Davis, lL, time when affirmative action was banned. Israel Moya and Israel Maya, lL. See http://www.umich. While I am a supporter of affirmative Class of 2008; McFarland, CA; UCLA edu/-vote fo r more details and to vote. action, law students may not all agree on a stance on affirmative action. I plan on I am running for Michigan Student James "Jimmy" Bryant providing law students with an avenue Assembly (MSA) Law School Class of 2007; Richmond, CA; UC to speak their minds on this important Representative because I want to help Berkeley topic. ensure that The University of Michigan remains friendly and accessible to students Experience: It would be my pleasure to serve as the of diverse backgrounds. Michigan Law's • Vice President - UC Berkeley Michigan StudentAssembly Representative stance on affirmative action gave me a representing 35,000 students; for our law school. I would bring both great deal of confidence in the Uruversity's Accomplishments - Organized the hate political and business experience, as well commitment to education and social crimes task force, Created the Student wisdom and a unique perspective to the justice, and this is the main reason I Safety and Housing Forum, Lobbied state general student body. chose to enroll here. Unfortunately, and local legislators on various issues. despite the University's strong stance • Legislative Chair of the UC Students Laura Davis in favor of affirmative action, there are Association representing 170,000 students Class of2008; Grand Rapids, MI; University formidable challenges to our campus in the UC system; Accomplishments: of Michigan diversity, including the deceptively titled Organized the largest student lobby day Michigan Civil Rights Initiative (MCRI), in a decade bringing over 300 students to My candidacy for the Law School's which seeks to reduce minority access to lobby legislators in the California state representative to the Michigan Student higher education. The Michigan Student capitol. Assembly is built around increasing Assembly is an important university • City Commissioner (alternate)for the individual students' and student groups' entity because it is the collective voice City of Berkeley planning commission. choices, while ensuring the fiscal of our university's students, and it can • Member of the Revenue Task Force responsibility of MSA-ideas important make an impact in the effort to keep our for the City of Berkeley. to both law students and the larger University accessible to all members of • I have been the president of many University community. our community. organizations and have served on the board of directors for several non-profit MSA funds are gathered from fees You should care about this election organizations. from students from all of the University's and vote because MSA is responsible for Schools, and this money should be networking different areas of campus and What I plan to accomplish: I would like allocated to student groups. Student promoting and co-sponsoring student to provide a voice for the law school within groups will be more effective at directly group events which can shape our the larger student body. I have a wealth benefiting students than MSA can be on campus culture. It is essential to students of experience with student governments its own. Increased allocation of funding that our University remain an open as well as having been a business owner to student groups will also ensure that environment where the exchange of ideas for several years before attending law a diversity of educational, social, and is welcomed and nurtured. As MSA Law school. While LSSS provides a bulk of the political views will be expressed through School Representative I hope to support support to many student groups within those student groups. initiatives which maintain Michigan's the law school, I believe that there are commitment to diversity, tolerance, and even more untapped resources (funding I would also like to see MSA work social justice. I encourage all law school and miscellaneous support) that law to increase student choice, rather than voters to review the MSA website, at students and their organizations have not reducing student choice, as they did in http://www.msa.umich.edu/, so that they necessarily tapped into. I plan on working their campaign to end the University's can learn more about MSA's work and very closely with LSSS next year bringing contract with Coca-Cola. Such ethical relevance to our great University. the concerns of our students to the larger decisions should be left to individual student body. students and not made by only a few on behalf of everyone. Furthermore, MSA • should restrict itself to dealing with issues ' ' ==1====2 ==�==��.· ��=·�==�==c=s=@==cs=t=a ===c ·��==a=rc=�=2=1=, =2=0=0=6======�'1� ------How Smart AreYo u Now, Smarty? Flagellate with the Fall2005 Grade Curves Grade Summary - Part Fall 2005 Number receiving each grade Course/ 4.3 4.0 3.7 3.3 3.0 2.7 2.3 2.0 1.7 1.3 1.0 0.0 Class Section Professor Course Name p Size A+ A A- B+ B B- C+ c C- D+ D E 510/001.002 Cooper.Edward H Civil Procedure 3 3 15 25 23 10 8 I 90 510/003 Friedman..Richard D Civil Procedure II 14 30 20 10 5 91 520/001.002 Soper;E Philip Comracts II II 31 24 II 8 99 520/003 WhileJames J Contracts 8 16 29 26 10 8 101 520/004 KrierJames E Contracts 6 5 13 14 44 520/005 FrierJ3rucc W Contracts 5 8 16 12 50 530/001 Brcnsil-e.Eve 1.ynn Criminal Law 11 14 27 24 10 92 5301002 BlumenthaLSusanna L Criminal Law 8 15 32 21 12 93 530/003 Gre.:n.Sluart Paul Criminal Law 10 12 25 22 II 89 540/001 llills..Roderick M lntro to Constitutional Law 11 14 30 22 II 94 5601001 Sclmcid<:tX'ari E Property 13 15 30 19 I I 92 5801001 Clml<:Sbermon J Torts 10 10 35 21 13 93 580/002 H(l!\v.itzJin R Torts 6 16 10 6 47 5801003 Wiltitman.Christina L B Torts 6 13 10 7 44 601/001 Croiey�Ste\·en P Administrative Law 6 10 12 37 76 602100 1 lbrna.Sreven Richard Jnt'l lnvestment Law 6 10 13 52 604/001 Mup 31212006 II �.es®.esta.e • c!llfiarc� 21, 200& �. 13 II Grade Summary - Part2 Fall 2005 Course/ No. Mean Within Deviation from Grade Guidelines Section Professor Course Name Graded Grade Range? A+ A A- B+ B B- C+ c C- 510/001.002 Cooper,Edward H Civil Procedure 88 3.17 -3 510/003 Friedman,Richard D Civil Procedure 91 3.25 1 520/001,002 Soper,E Philip Contracts 99 3.16 -2 520/003 White,James J Contracts 101 3.20 520/004 Krier,James E Contracts 44 3.25 -1 -2 520/005 Frier,Bruce W Contracts 50 3.23 530/001 Brensike.Eve Lynn Criminal Law 91 3.25 -2 530/002 Blumenthal,Susanna L Criminal Law 93 3.25 -1 530/003 Green,Stuart Paul Criminal Law 89 3.20 540/001 Hills,Roderick M Intra to Constitutional Law 91 3.27 high -2 560/001 Schneider,Carl E Property 89 3.34 high -4 580/001 Clark,Sherman J Torts 93 3.25 -2 -2 580/002 Horwitz,Jill R Torts 47 3.19 -1 580/003 Whitman,Christina L B Torts 44 3.24 -1 6011001 Croley,Steven P Administrative Law 39 3.19 -1 602/001 Ratner.Steven Richard lnt'l Investment Law 38 3.19 -3 604/001 Kauper,Thomas E Advanced Antitrust 8 3.50 high -1 606/001 Cannizzaro,Vincenzo Transnational Law 37 3.37 high -1 -1 612/001 Connor.Laurence D Alt Dispute Resolution 11 3.55 high -1 -1 -1 615/001,002,0 White.James J Sales and Payment Systems 23 3.46 high -2 -1 618/001 Katz,Ellen D Law & Political Participation 5 3.94 high -1 -1 625/001 Schneider,Carl E Law and Bioethics 22 3.25 -1 -2 -1 629/001 Lutz,Karl E Law Finns and Legal Careers 78 3.19 631/001 Regan.Donald H lntro Con Law & Am Legal Pro 33 3.40 high -1 -1 -2 6331001 Komfield.Susan M Copyright 21 3.33 high -1 634/001 Vining.Joseph Corporate Criminality 18 3.49 high 2 -3 -1 -1 637/001 Pottow,John A E Bankruptcy 25 3.34 high -2 6431001 Larsen.Joan L Crim Pro: Bail to Post Con Rev 66 3.28 high -1 645/001 Gross,Samuel R Criminal Procedure Survey 89 3.25 -1 646/001 Howson.Nicholas Calcina China: lnt'lEngagmt/DomLegR.frm 19 3.35 high -2 -1 648/001 Clarkson,Gavin Stuart Law and Mgmt of lP Orgs 73 3.47 high -2 -1 -4 652/001 Pottow.John A E Secured Transactions 83 3.33 high -3 657/001 Evans,Alicia Davis Enterprise Organization 114 3.34 high -4 -3 657/002 Pritchard.Adam C Enterprise Organization 102 3.20 669/001 Clark.Sherman J Evidence 90 3.23 669/002 Niehoff,Leonard Marvin Evidence 57 3.25 -4 -I 672/001 Payton.Sallyanne Health Law: Regulation 12 3.38 high -1 -1 673/001 Kochen.Madeline Sara Family Law 24 3.58 high -2 -3 -1 675/001 Kauper,Thomas E Federal Antitrust 51 3.27 high 1 -2 677/001 Seinfeld.Gil Federal Courts 21 3.41 high -1 -1 -1 6811001 Herzog.Donald Jay First Amendment 74 3.21 -4 -2 2 -4 6821001 Parson,Edward A lnt'l Environment Law & Policy 30 3.49 high -1 -1 -2 687/001 Cooper,Owen Bernard Immigration and Nationality 62 3.32 high -2 1 -2 693/001 Reimann,Mathias W Jurisdiction and Choice Of Law 82 3.21 695/001 Regan.Donald H International Trade Law 22 3.37 high -1 1 -2 -2 -1 698/001 Ellsworth, Phoebe C Juries 95 3.17 2 -1 713/001 Buchsbaum.Andrew P Fed Lit:Environment Case Study 18 3.66 high -4 -1 -1 720/001 White,James Boyd Legal Imagination 23 3.61 high -5 -1 -1 724/001 Hathaway,]ames C International Refugee Law 19 3.41 high -1 -1 7311001 Niehoff.Leonard Marvin Legal Ethics & Prof Resp 56 3.20 -1 735/001.002 Hills.Roderick M Land Use Planning and Control 56 3.24 743/001 Pritchard.Adam C Securities Regulation 47 3.20 -1 747/001 Logue.Kyle D Taxation of Individual Income 80 3.22 -1 748/001 Burnham, William Russian Law 7 3.81 high -2 -1 749/001 Kahn,Douglas A Corporate Taxation 16 3.14 -1 754/001 Lutz,Karl E Business Trans Practicum I 22 3.59 high -1 11 -1 -4 -2 -1 755/001 Waggoner.Lawrence W Trusts and Estates I 65 3.33 high 1 4 -1 -3 756/00 1,002 McCrudden.John Christopher Comparative Hum Rgts Law 19 3.69 high 5 -4 -2 -1 757/001 Waggoner,Lawrence W Trusts and Estates II 14 3.98 high 3 -4 -3 -1 -1 776/001 Yura,Mark David Real Estate Finance Law 11 3.37 high -3 7811001 Eisenberg,Rebecca S FDA Law 19 3.64 high -4 -2 -1 782/001 ,002 Shapiro.Scott J Jurisprudence 12 3.36 high I -1 -1 794/001 Tonner,Grace C Senior Judge Seminar II 19 4.02 high 16 -2 -5 -4 -2 -1 Key: No. Graded - The number ofstudents in the class receiving grades A+ through E Mean Grade - Based on the No. Graded (rather than the Class Size) Within range? - Based on the guidelines for Mean Grade: 3.13 minimum; 3.19 target; 3.25 maximum Deviation from Grade Guidelines 3!2/2006 Mean Class 1st Year Upperclass Seminars: Fall 2005 3.23 3.41 3.74 Targets fo r class mean: mtmmum: 3.13 target: 3.19 maximum: 3.25 �fliit �.es �esta:e • Jlltarcl1 21, 2006 Ill------TheAnc ient Art of Mixtaping By Heidi Manschreck The Danger Zone - for Matt, with love 9.) Belle & Sebastian - Funny Little from Heidi Frog. I intentionally placed my favorite song from their new album at the center � aced with looming deadlines, 2006 Roo Tang Clan Productions, Ltd. old seminar papers, and of the mix; its unabashed sweetness is other threats to my timely 1.) Clor - Dangerzone. The first track perfect. gr n, my irrational impulse is to sets the tone for the entire mix; it should 10.) The Clientele - E.M.P.T. Y. While devise additional, completely useless-yet be instantly awesome. This synth-heavy Alasdair Maclean's voice sounds like it pressing- projects. My favorite such New Order throwback is an ideal opener is from another era, the production on diversion is making mixtapes, and I take that also doubles as a title for the mix (an this song is clearly contemporary. I like it very seriously. oft-neglected consideration). that disconnect, and I'm using it here 2.) The Jesus and Mary Chain - Just to facilitate a transition from upbeat to Though I deserted virtually all artistic Like Honey. This is an oldie, but it's so sinister. and creative ambitions around the good. Much like honey. More importantly, 11.) The Cloud Room- Hey Now Now. time I kicked my clove habit, I never it works with the dark mood of the early This song is so addictive. One risk with abandoned the ancient art of mixtaping. tracks. (Side note: Until a recent online especially catchy songs is that the mix will Alright, maybe "ancient" is a stretch, lyrics search set mestraigh t, I had always be ignored for the fix-the recipient will but it is art. A great mixtape takes time, thought that he said "eating up this scone fast-forward to the songs that got in his thoughtful composition, and un certain is the hardest thing for me to do" - I head. But artists must take risks. je ne sais quoi (sorry, that's French-speak guess I saw it as a quintessentially British 12.) Tapes 'N Tapes - Manitoba. This for "art"). Consider some of the many psychosomatic reaction to heartbreak). fantastic waltz of a new song calms before variables that the mixtape artist must 3.) Sunset Rubdown - I'm Sorry I Sang it hits a frenzied pace- I had a hard time consider: the intended recipient's music On Your Hands That Have Been In The choosing between so many great tracks preferences, overall knowledge of music, Grave. This longish, dark, creepy, Elfman on The Loon. and relationship to the artist; the mixtape's esque track will either be adored or invite 13.) The Arcade Fire -My Heart Is An context, if any (e.g., a birthday or going regular fast-forwards. We re it not for my Apple. Anxious love again emerges as a away present); and the purpose of the mix self-imposed rule not to include more than Danger Zone theme; this echoes the first (e.g., to expose the recipient to new artists, one song by any one artist, I would throw tracks. to compile music of a particular genre, to in another by this group (led by Spencer 14.) My Morning Jacket - Off the communicate the artist's feelings for the Krug of Wo lf Parade). Record. As the end approaches, I'm recipient). 4.) Casiotone for the Painfully Alone choosing to pick up the pace again, and - Love Connection. This is another synth this catchy reggae trip-out works well. Much of the art lies in balancing these heavy song that, like its predecessors, 15.) The Zombies - This Will Be Our meta-considerations, but it also takes seamlessly mixes beauty with a pervasive Year. Every mix has room for some classic technical adroitness (or perhaps just sense of unease, this time through raw, '60s simplicity/brilliance. neurosis) to execute a truly fantastic uncomfortable lyrics. 16.) Grand National - Drink To Moving mixtape. While arranging the order of 5.) The Boy Least Likely To - Be Gentle On (Roo's Cheese-Out Mix). Once Matt tracks is the sine qua non of mixtaping, it With Me. One of my favorite tracks of hears this song he will want to hear it over doesn't stop there. The advanced mixtape 2005, I'm using its uplifting tempo to hint and over again until he pukes. I chopped artist regulates tempo and volume, at the coming redemption. the song's super-cheesy backup vocal echo eliminates the two-second lapse at the end 6.) Elliott Smith - Let's Get Lost. As (re-mix!). of each track (also known as "slow and quickly as they come up, they come down. 17.) When In Rome - The Promise. painful mixtape death"), and even remixes We 're in the Danger Zone , after all. This Every mix has room for some classic '80s individual tracks to perfection. beautiful track is from his posthumously cheese/awesomeness. This one works well released album. either as a "last" song or a denouement. To illustrate the depth of this art, I have 7.) The Decemberists - The Sporting -.)Simian - Never Be Alone. Shhh, included below an annotated copy of a mix Life. We move from grief to acceptance y'all-it's the Hidden Track! One of I made for my dear friend Matt. My goal with Colin Meloy's foot-stomping gem those little touches that separate the with this mix was to give him a big dose that sets the pace for the next few songs. Gods/Goddesses of Mixtapes from Mere of recently-released music, although I did 8.) The New Pornographers - Broken Mortals. make a few flow-conscious exceptions. I Breads. Songs that jar the flow will either hope he likes it. hit or miss -I'm hoping this Dan Bejar Heidi Manschreck, a 3L, will gladly burn a piece will do the former. copy fo r you. E-mail [email protected]. • ------· · ��'==2R==cs==�=c=s=ta=c==·=�==a=rc=�=2=1=, =2=00=u=- ======�=·=�=�==-�=· =====1=5��� Question on the Quad: Show Us Your Best Frown Reporting by Dan Clark and .JaySurdukowski Grant Riesdesel, lL Josh Kweller, 3L Michael Beck, 3L Katie Wales, lL Danny DeLorenzo, 3L Jonathan Claydon, 3L Scott Stanko, 3L Bayrex Marti, 3L Fernando Tamayo, 3L Jason Weinstein, 3L Jamie Kerstetter, 2L Katie Rock, 2L Karin Hoekstra, lL Davina Harris, 2L Matthew Maddox, lL [Bad frowns mean really happy, happy suckers.] • The 1st Annual Law School Charity Poker To urnament No Limit Te xas Hold 'Em Win up to $500 in one afternoon of play! - 10% of players will finish in the money Sunday April 9, 2006 @ 11 am in The Michigan Union Sign up Monday and Tuesday March 27, 28 12:15 to 1:30 in front of HH 100. The top 1L/2L player will be sent (all expenses paid) to the next Annual Intercollegiate Michigan v. Ohio State Poker Tournament (courtesy of the University). II 16 �--- �£5 @£sht£ • cffiard1 21, 2006 11--1------lt IS Wr ong to Yell Fire in a Crowded Library: Yo u Shouldn't Yell in the Law Library By Nate Kurtis out at any noise that dares disturb their Here's the thing, it is freezing cold in quiet studying. Ann Arbor at 8:14 PM in February, and n conjunction with the University since we had been studying in the cozy of Michigan's School of Human Several theories might explain why law library none of us had our coats Folly, this is Part 8 of the RG's otherwise rational law students would with us. We decided that, instead of co nuzng series: "Could Law Students ignore a perfectly deafening fire alarm: evacuating the building completely, we Actually Survive in the Real World?" (Short They might have decided that their would wait out the fire alarm in the little answer: No.) case readings were more important vestibule between the Reading Room and -and who could slight them; which the Law Quad -a location that would As a survivor of the terrible law is worse, cold-calling or third-degree have become a stone oven had this been library fire [alarm] of 2006, I am here to bums? (My opinion: It's a toss-up.) They a real fire. tell you that it was a truly life changing might have figured that, in the event of experiences, one of those moments that a fire, the fire suppression system would 8:19 PM: The alarm fell silent. Without helps define just what kind of person kick in, protecting both the books and waiting for an "all clear" or any other you are. It turns out I'm not a very bright themselves (and providing that much indication that the building was now safe, kind. needed refreshing shower). Or, as was the students rushed back in to continue the case with all the students studying in studying. For readers fortunate enough to have my section of the library, they might have avoided the library on the night of been completely ignorant as to what the As it turned out, there was never a fire. February 22,20 06-a night forever etched noise meant in the first place. Collectively, According to the Department of Public into the memories of those present-! our time in the library evidenced a Safety, a pump in the fire suppression have reconstructed the events as they tragicomedy of ignorance, confusion, and system had locked on, run for too long, occurred that evening: shear stubbornness. and started to leak. The alarm we ignored was a "low pressure" warning, which 7:30 PM: I walked into Sub-2 of the 8:08 PM: Eventually, frustration over DPS simply shut off while they waited law library, noticed some friends, and the blaring "noise" reached a boiling for a repair technician to arrive. None of proceeded to engage them in discussion point. A committee of us set out to find this was known to us at the time we failed [in pantomime, of course; it is a library the source of the disturbance and, if to leave; and, given our response, had it after all!]. possible, yell at the person responsible. been a real fire we'd have all died. Only then did we discover that the source 8:00 PM: I sat down at one of the large of the racket was a red box labeled "Fire Well, not all of us. study areas near the northern-most wall Alarm." of the law library and proceeded to check 'Td have lived, but for all the wrong my e-mail. 8:10 PM: Back in my section of the reasons," says Karin Kringen, lL. "I just library,we sat in deep discourse deciding couldn't study with all that noise." 8:02 PM: After carefully reading whether we should leave the library. each and every one of the thirty or so * * * [lawopen] posts which I'd received, I 8:12 PM: We finally decided that we finally hunkered down to some serious should leave the library, which prompted The moral of the story: It is a sad "studying." another question for debate: "should we state of affairs when law students are take our books with us?" more concerned with studying than 8:03 PM: The Fire Alarm began to with survival. Of course, the fact that sound its deadly warning, to which the 8:14 PM: Finally, eleven minutes the majority of students in the library students responded, as one would expect: after the alarm first sounded, we left can't recognize the sound of a fire alarm "Shut up!" the library, books in hand. Yet, even as possibly contributed to that failure. we were leaving, we passed still more That's right. No panicked evacuation students on their way into the library, But how would a hapless law student -not even a mass calm exit of the seemingly undaunted by the still-blaring learnthis essential survival skill? Margaret building. Instead, I beheld ornery law fire alarm. students in their natural habitat, lashing CONTINUED on Next Page ------ill Jllcs �cstac • 2flffarcq 21, 2DD6 CONTINUED From Previous Page LSSS, from Page 6 Leary, the Director of the University of VICE PRESIDENT Michigan Law Library, could not recall TIM HARRINGTON with any certainty when the last fire I love serving on LSSS and want to serve drill took place, though she was certain it you as VP.I work well with other Senate happens at least once a year. "The alarm representatives and enjoy representing [itself] was last tested early one morninga student concernsbefore the administration. week or two ago. This was not to test how In addition to spearheading the Bar Night building occupants respond, but how Task Force, I will improve communication well the alarm itself worked. We don't between students and the administration want it to be oversensitive and create as well as increased transparency of LSSS so many false alarms that no one pays committees. I am helping to plan the attention to them." And Leary does her Hutchins renovation and will advocate for part to prevent death by conflagration, an ATM and debit/credit in the snack bar. leaving information at each of the 482 I will support the Law School Humanities library seats once a term, outlining the KATRINA, from Page 1 Council and mental health initiatives, and fire policy and procedures. improve campus safety. Let me represent or living in squalor. But landlords, in you next year on LSSS. areas where pre-storm development was A quick survey of students wandering Vote Tim! overtaking communities, have found an the halls of Hutchins revealed that the excuse to kick out low-income tenants Great Fire Alarm Fiasco has already PRESIDENT and sell their property at a profit. entered the realm of myth; everyone was GRACE LEE sure that there had been fire drills before, Hi, my name's Grace Lee and I'm As we observed the gutted buildings, but no one could recall precisely when. In running for LSSS President. casinos and hotels that were missing the residence halls, DPS requires sernesterly bottom three floors, and barges that had fire-alarm and evacuation drills be held As President, I'll represent your concerns been thrown onto buildings hundreds at times when residents would be around. and priorities with an open ear and a of feet inland by the waves, it became This policy should be extended to include strong voice. I hope to increase student apparent that Mississippi was hit much the law library since, let's face it, most of input, raise committee transparency, harder than the media let on. Not only us live there anyway. While they should and continue addressing your needs for was the coastline obliterated, but areas not become so common that they provide academic and social support...(including further inland suffered from storm another reason for students to ignore more rockin' parties.) swells, flooding, and spin-off tornados. them, the response in the event the alarm During our visit, the nationalnews media does sound should, at the very least, be: I love this school and have served on observed the six-month anniversary of "A h, a fire alarm! Let us leave the building the Senate for two years, spearheading Hurricane Katrina, with just three months in an orderly fashion." This would be a academic, career, and mental health left before the start of the next hurricane dramatic improvement over the current: initiatives, and addressing student safety. season. This simple fact drove horne the "Gee, what is that odd noise?" or "Shut I've served on the budget and bulletin reality of the devastation: if it looks this up! " board committees, and organized bar bad, six months later, how long will it nights, prom, faculty-student receptions, take to rebuild? Will another hurricane Nate Kurtis, a 1L, is among those who and the year-end picnic. would have crisped had this alarm been a real hit before there's a chance to pick up the pieces? fire. Questions, comments, and marshmallows I'd be honored to be your President. may be sent to: [email protected]. No other Vote Grace! warranties expressed or implied. The media has told us that "the hurricane didn't discriminate," that everyone was affected equally. But, sitting • • in the courtroom of a Biloxi judge, it was dear-despite the great loss of antique Thanks, from SFF! UM WOMEN'S HEALTH furniture and a $3,000 stainless steel RESOURCES WORKSHOP fridge in his newly renovated kitchen Just by shopping for your text Featuringspeakers from University that his recovery will be different from Health Services books at Ulrich's you helped us that of the residents we surveyed: It is raise $6,000 fo r public interest Wed., Mar. 22, 12:20 p.m. certain to happen. internships. 118 HH summer • �£S (f)£s±ct£ • �arcq 21, 2006 II WEST, from Page 5 something. and my son and I are going together. I haven't donated anything in I've got to work with. I'm not dreamy and the past because I never know what to charming like Howson, who has admirers do. I have a really boring life so it's not swooning in front of him all the time. like I can be like Reimann and say, "come When I started practicing in NY I was skydiving with me!" wearing cheap suits and ill-fitting shirts because I thought, "as long as you're Yeah what is that all about? He wearing a coat and tie, that means you're sky dives? a professional." But after a while I was getting tired in my clothes, physically Ye ah, Reimann is completely insane. tired. It probably didn't help that I was He will do anything like that. He's a very about thirty pounds overweight, but extreme kind of guy. All these people I'm going to blame the clothes because, have these really interesting hobbies, like once I started buying better clothes, I Croley: "I will play piano for you or kick felt better. your ass in boxing." Nice. Do you actually have any piercings on your body? That we'd want Then, when I came to Michigan, most This year it's Laser Ta g. to know of? people here have this Midwest sensibility about their clothing, like, they might go Oh yeah? I might take him on in that. No, well... no. Yes? Hard to say. to Marshall Fields, but only if they can't He looks slow. But everybody has these find it at Sears. Ok, that's not true. A few things, these hobbies. But me, it's like Right. .. So Mr. Wolverine. Besides the people have style. Rick Hills has style. He I work and I go to the gym. So I never under-the-table money exchange, why has a look. You can put Hills' clothes on know what to give - do you want to did you do it and how did you like it? a hanger and say, "that's Hills." You can watch me watch T.V., or do squats with do that with a few other people, and say, me? I think I'll pass on both -- but finally Welt they asked me to be a judge first. "That's style." But I really don't care. I just Ben Folds came up this year. I plan to And, I knew that Sarah was emceeing. like to feel good, and I won't pay retail. sing all the lyrics really loudly in the ear And, well1 I try to avoid all student of the buyer. contact. All right, analogy time. Steve Croley is to Tom Cruise as Mark West is to ... Would you bid on Soper's hot tub? You're on the fifth floor of Legal Have you been in Soper's hot tub? Research. No kidding. Jack Bauer. If I have ever been in Soper's hot tub, So I emailed Sarah and said, "they got Evan Caminker is to his hair dryer as ... I would never, ever admit it. That's a me, do you think I should do it this year?" well, I'm not sure Caminker uses a hair disturbing image. That's like something And either she said or I said, "why don't dryer. Evan Caminker is to hair products out of the videotape in The Ring, right in we emcee together?" And it's a good as Mark West is to... between the woman brushing her hair thing we did, because we had to kill a and the housefly. They ought to assign lot of dead time. We were terrible at it, How do you know he doesn't use a a police escort. but at least it was two of us up there and hair dryer? not just one. Yeah, it was fun. I enjoyed Laptops. Yea or Nay? doing it. I think he may air dry. I don't care, but they're not good for Related question: how do you really Well let's find out. you. You either tend to take things down feel about Zearfoss? verbatim, which is terrible, or you're Wait, are you going to e-mail him? basically making your outline as you go, Zearfoss and I have a policy of mutually so you miss those two steps of translating assured destruction. So, I will say that Sure. If he's there, he'll answer. [Pause it from your head to the notebook and she is a saint of a woman. And the most while professor turns to his computer... ] then again to your outline. Putting wonderful person I've ever met. None of "Evan: I have been asked to ask you if together the outline is what works for us deserve to share this planet with her. you use a hair dryer." you; the process is what matters. But, I don't care as a teacher, you can do what SFF Auction? What did you donate? So Evan Caminker is to hair products you want. People get worried about as Mark West is to ... body piercings. I students playing Minesweeper. But when I donated two tickets to Ben Folds. don't know. I've got aisle seats in the 14th row or CONTINUED on Next Page ------_JII �££1 ®£sbt£ • 2ffibrd1 21, 2006 CONTINUED From Previous Page REFLECTIONS, From Page 9 Wolverine, and they're true. I think Bruno we were in law school, we played law to the meeting to make a presentation and school bingo. You know, you make your would just be wrestling, Greco-roman style. First of all, if Bruno Simma decides take questions virtually every week. That own 5x5 grid, and you put the names of does not happen of the MSA. I have had to do cage match wrestling, then his name 25 students in the grid, and you try and some success, notably AthleticsDirector Bill should just be Bruno. Or maybe Bruno get the gunners, 5 in a row. So, when you Martin, but the problem remains. It is sad, Simma or Bruno the Simma; he just has fill a row, in order to claim that you've but true, that during this past year I have �on, you have to say the word "Bingo" t�e na�e for it. And, I picture him being hke he JUSt got off some massive sailing had more contact with the President of the m class. So if you didn't have computer University of Virginia than the President games, you'd be playing Bingo. vessel out of Patrick O'Brian; you know, he has the huge forearms, he's pulling on of the University of Michigan. That is troubling considering that I am far from ropes, and I bet when he gets in there, he'd Faculty member who can drink the only law student to have a rapport just tear them up. anyone under the table? with his/her undergraduate institution president. That's a good one. There was a time I'm not sure he could beat them; J.J. wouldn't be fair, and Friedman would be when I'd have said "me." I don't know. The Law School Administration is not kind of wily, I don't know, but it would be I know some of the senior faculty have included in the above criticism. I hope between those three. Yale Kamisar loves completely pickled livers, so they have a that the other student leaders would these questions. He'll just ask out of the really high tolerance. agree that they are responsive. Dean blue: "who would win in a fight between Evan Caminker has numerous lunch a hippopotamus and an alligator?" And So, there's a caste system; the senior programs and gives opportunities to faculty and the junior faculty? we would have these conversations right in the middle of faculty lunches, and I answer questions. Although his responses can sometimes be opaque-not uncommon would say, "I don't know, Yale." And he No, not really. But, I think the line for someone inhis position-and he has a would say, "you ever think about that?" might be at Carl Schneider or Bill Miller highly deferential posture towards central And I'd say, "no," and he'd be amazed they still are marginally young, but no� campus, his responsiveness is decent. I that I hadn't. for very long. But the caste system? I'm want to stress that thisis a general problem. not allowed to make eye contact with my Ok, last question. I£ you weren't doing There are exceptions, notably Dean of secretary and I have to bow to Doug Kahn Students Sue Eklund. Some fault may every time I see him. But, back to the anything with law, what would you do instead? also lie with the Assembly for being overly drinking, I can't think of one person. deferential. However, the next person in this position should encourage MSA The group of people most likely to You know who the Lonely Island group is? They're the comedy group that makes involvement and comment on policies that drink someone under the table? affect students. the digital shorts on SNL. They just did People closest to retirement, maybe. the Natalie Portman rap last week, they did Lazy Sunday a few months ago. I I i�entify these problems in an attempt There's not a big drinking culture here. to g1ve a balanced view of my term. I It must be underground. It's more want to be in that group. They also have a subgroup called the Bing Bong Brothers. I want to express what a positive experience sophisticated drinking here. I went to and honor it has been to represent you. I Rob Howse's house and he had really want to be one of the Bing Bong Brothers. If I couldn't do that, I would like to take want to thank Law School Deans Baum good wine. That's pretty sophisticated for Caminker, and Johnson as well Dea Mike D's place in the Beastie Boys. I don't � me; I think that any thing that's not in a Eklund for listening as we worked through want anything bad to happen to Mike D, 40-ounce bottle is primo stuff. I've never tough issues. I also appreciate General I just want to take over his parts. been to J.J. White's house, but I imagine Counsel Marvin Krislov and his staff for you walk in and J.J. says, "you want your their thoughts. Lastly,I wanted to publicly bourbon neat or on the rocks?" [As the interview concludes, professor and interviewer notice that Dean congratulate LSSS President Brad Wilson Evan Caminker has answered the for his outstanding leadership during his Who is the faculty member most likely �erm �d thank him for his friendship. It to win in a no-holds-barred fistfight? question, "Does he use a hair dryer?" His response:] IS cruaal that our successors in these offices work as well together as we have. I can't pick that. But J.J., Bruno Simma, "Yes, but I only use it when I shower, and Rich Friedman, those three in a cage Justin C. Pfe iffer,3L, isthe L£lwRepres entative which is once a month. Is that a problem?" match. I bet J.J. fights nasty. He does to Michigan Student Assembly. E-mail Signed, Evan Caminker, Dean and low blows; bet you he would bite your Comments about this article to [email protected]. jugular out of your neck. And then Rich, Professor ofLaw, University of Michigan Law School. • he's strong. I told those stories at Mr. • ��===20=====�==· =Sl= �=====2R==e =s=®=e=s=t a=e==·==�=a=r=c=q=2=1=, =02=0=fi======���r ------Too Close To Call: SF F Auction May Have Been Best Ever The Student Funded Fellowship (SFF) Auction made a triumphant return to Hutchins Hall last Thurs., March 16. This year's auction raised over $65,000 and was one of the highest-grossing SFF auctions on record.