Taylor University Pillars at

Association of Christians in Student Koinonia Development

4-1982

Koinonia

ACSD

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Recommended Citation ACSD, "Koinonia" (1982). Koinonia. 77. https://pillars.taylor.edu/acsd_koinonia/77

This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Association of Christians in Student Development at Pillars at Taylor University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Koinonia by an authorized administrator of Pillars at Taylor University. For more information, please contact [email protected]. april 1982 KOIOOOIA

ASSOCIATION for CHRISTIANS in STUDENT DEVELOPMENT

1-CSD ON THE INSIDE Editorial ...... "THE STUDENT OF THE 80's"

PRESIDENT Lessons of Leadership ...... - DAYTON, TN. RUTH BAMFORD ASSOCIATE DEAN JUNE 1·4, 1982 OF STUDENT DEVELOPMENT What is Happening to WHEATON COLLEGE Christian Marriages? ...... Registration begins 1 P.M., June 1. Conference WHEATON, IL 60187 concludes with lunch June 4. VICE PRESIDENT Invitation to St. Paul, Mn...... CHIP JAGGERS DEAN OF STUDENTS Registration is in the Mail TAYLOR UNIVERSITY Meet the Candidates ...... UPLAND, IN 46989 If you did not receive a recent mailing regarding TREASURER the conference, contact Kermit Zopfi (see address KERM I T ZOPFI Good Books ...... DEAN OF STUDENTS at left). BRYAN COLLEGE DAYTON, TN 363Z1 Take the Test ......

SECRETARY RUTH IRVINE ASST . DEAN OF STUDENTS MOODY BIBLE INSTITUTE BZO N . LASALLE STREET CH I CAGO, IL 60610

EDITOR MARILYN STARR DEAN OF WOMEN BETHEL COLLEGE MEET THE CANDIDATES 3900 BETHEL DR . ST. PAUL, MN 55 1 1Z (LISTED ALPHABET/CALLY) NOMINEES FOR OFFICE OF VICE-PRESIDENT:

JAY BARNES JAY BASLER BEAVER PERKINS Messiah College Bethel College Grantham, PA North Newton, KS Houghton, NY Jay is a graduate Beaver was born of Wheaton Col­ Jay received his in Latvia, emi­ lege, has an B.A. in Philoso­ grated to Ger­ M.A. from the U. phy from Ge­ many, then to of Connecticut neva College in the U.S. She met in Educational Beaver Falls, ..&c her husband at Counseling and is an Ed.D. candidate PA, a M.Div. Wheaton College. Her M.A. is from the in College Personnel Work at Loyola U. from Gordan-Conwell Theological U. of Pittsburg in Higher Education, in Chicago. He is married and has Seminary. His M.A. from the U. of Iowa with emphasis in student development. three children. is in Student Personnel Services. In Beaver's involvement in student 1976 he earned a Ph.D. in Higher Edu­ personnel work is extensive and varied. Jay believes ACSD is unique: "The cation Administation: Management, She writes: people of ACSD have the ability to also from the U. of Iowa. "I want very much to be of service to tailor programs, promote professional the Lord through my professional contacts, and provide personal encour­ In 1966, he received his ordination from capabi lities. Working with fellow agement in a way that other national the United Presbyterian Church U.S.A. Christians in an organization such as organizations of student development He has been a resident director, ACSD is an exciting and stimulating professions can not do. Through my director of off-campus housing, prospect. I love planning and organiza­ involvement, I hope to work to continue director of student development, tion, am not afraid to be creative and to offer high quality national associate dean of students and he is at risk trying new ideas. I thoroughly conferences, broaden our membership present the Dean of Students at Bethel enjoy working as a team member on base, and build on work already done College in Kansas. worthwhile endeavors and I like to in placement activities. I would also laugh. Most importantly, I try to be an like the association to support and Jay is married and has tl>lree sons and open and growing person ... exploring encourage significant research a daughter. what it means to be part of 'a peculiar projects at our institutions to al low us people' who are in , but not of, this to be more effective in our work." world." NOMINEES FOR OFFICE OF LESSONS OF LEADERSHIP TREASURER & MEMBERSHIP CHAIRMAN: One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn recently, ANNA ROSE BRADEN Lord - is that leadership doesn't bring appreciation: Nyack College not always, at any rate. Nyack, NY Anna Rose has a B.S. in Christian You know how it is that I have come to find this out for Education from Nyack College myself. and an M.S. in Elementary Educa· I took on a job, tion from the State U. of New that extra piece of responsibility and leadership York, Oneonta. She has also which I believe You required of me. studied in counseling and stu· And, dent personnel work. She was an elementary education I really sweated over it. teacher in Ohio several years, then did student You know I did! personnel work at Taylor U. Since 1976, she has been But, the Associate Dean of Students at Nyack. She observes when things didn't turn out too well, optimistically: I was mercilessly criticized - flayed alive by words, "It would certainly not seem too ambitious for our pro­ and looks ..... fessional organization, the ACSD, to soon reach a claim as THE organization providing leadership in the area of Nobody mentioned my sacrifices of time and energy - student development. Let us never settle for mediocrity or my work. as our station in these most critical and exciting days. I was judged on results. Dare to be different, to be responsible, to excel, to be And, accountable - to the Lord, and then to our many the only results people mentioned publics as we strive to provide solutions, alternatives, were the bad ones. programs and inspiration! Ours are most strategic, even The good ones - crucial, positions as we are able to assist/facilitate and You know there were some - others in significant life-changing experiences." didn't even get a mention. Merle Johnson I have been thoroughly depressed about this! Friends University I know, though, that it would be wrong and childish for Wichita, KS me to take the huff and pack everything in just because Merle has a B.S. from Phillips U. of this - for, and an M.S. from Wichita State U. I am a Christian: that means I am one of those who He was employed 15 years by the have themselves persecuted Christ - to the point Wichita Public Schools and since where they have realized why He did not strike back 1968 has served as Dean of - but said, "Father, for give them ... " Students at Friends U. So now that I am in this small way, Merle writes enthusiastically: "Membership in ACSD misunderstood was recommended to me by a colleague a few years ago and and after attending my first national conference in unappreciated, Portland, Oregon, in 1979, I easily understood his help me to forgive. enthusiasm for the association. Beyond the fellowship, And, help me: the excellent programming that is a part of the regional not to lose my nerve and national meetings speaks specifically to the needs but, of the Christian college community. It is the only to become a more competent leader instead. organization I have found that not only attempts to meet Help me to see to it that more things go right - and - my professional needs but is also spiritually fulfilling." fewer things go wrong. KERMIT ZOPFI (Incumbent) And help me also to be more patient with other leaders; Bryan College to be less critical, or when critical be constructive; Dayton, TN certainly to be more helpful; Kermit's degrees include a B.A. and to pray for them - in Bible from Wheaton College, for now I know what it feels like. an M.A. in Christian Education, It's a lonely, thankless business, being a leader. also from Wheaton, and an M.A. People can be: in Psychology from Azusa Pacific jealous at your success College. He was a missionary in and Germany for eleven years and director of the German nasty about your failure. Bible Institute. For four years he served as west coast Worst of all, some of them are only nice to you because representative for the Greater Europe Mission. He of what they think they can get out of you . worked in administration at Azusa Pacific College two years and is presently in his tenth year as Dean of I thank you, Lord, that Jesus knew all about this Students at Bryan College. Kermit says: problem, and that in all aspects He mastered it. And, I thank you, God, the leader of all true life, "My association with ACSD has been most meaningful that to me. I have been helped in my work as dean through leadership is your proper sphere, the scholarly presentations at the annual conferences and that and through the sharing and fellowship times with my we can pray to you . colleagues. It has been a special joy to get to know so Help me to make YOU my model, and to receive Your many of you and to be able to serve you these past two grace. years." (Cont. next page) "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES?" (Chapel message given by James Spickelmier, Campus and if we were prophets we would be able to say it is Pastor, Bethel College, October 21, 1981) doomed from the start. Maybe here is a place where we have preached too well, in the Christian community, A few years ago a young Christian couple whose that any marriage can work out. Some Christians want marriage I had performed just a short year before got to believe that so badly that they marry people with divorced. Until then, only one couple that I had married whom they are totally incompatible in terms of faith had ever separated and that had been an emergency commitment, background, goals in life, temperament, marriage that I had had doubts about from the life-style. It seems that some Christian women believe beginning. they have a mission in life to love the unlovely and they choose as husbands the crudest, most irresponsible, But this second divorce was a couple I had complete abusing, immature men they can find in the grand hope confidence in. I had counselled with them before that they will convert them by their sparkling Christian marriage, I knew their Christian testimony, they were testimony, in three years time, into a saint. Some active in Christian ministry. And when they decided to Christian guys are so dazzled by a pretty face and a get divorced, when all that pain and anger and broken lovely form that they never even consider what the girl potential began to spi II forth, I felt as though a vei I of believes, whether she will be faithful, whether she is protection that had been shielding God 's people from grown up enough to marry, whether she knows how to the values of the society around us had suddenly been give to others or is all turned in on herself, whether she pierced. We were no longer invulnerable. Divorce wasn't shares his vision for what life is all about. just something that happened to non-Christians; it happened to Christians, too. Divorce was no longer Love can cover a mu ltitude of sins, friends, but don't reserved for the Christians who everybody knew were deliberately build those flaws in from the beginning. shaky in their commitment; it was touching some of the There will be more than enough to work on together strongly committed, too. even if you pick the most responsible, most compatible mate you can find. Don 't go deliberately asking for Since that experience just a few years ago, I have heard trouble as you choose someone with whom to spend of another situation like it, and another, and another, your I if e. and another- alumni of Bethel, pastors and their wives in our churches, key Christian leaders, some of my own The Scriptures, in a variety of ways, set up an ideal for a dear friends. Christian man and a Christian woman: It begins with What is happening to our Christian marriages? For Christian faith and commitment and a concern not so years, in a society that so easily accepted broken rela­ much for the coiffing of the hair and allurement of the tionships, Christian marriages have stood as a body as a concern for the richness of the spirit, testimony to the sacredness of the marriage vow, the someone who lives for others and not just for resiliency of a relationship rooted in a love for God, and themselves, someone who possesses the fruits of the a pledge of faithfulness "till death do us part." Now that Spirit and has left behind malice and energy and mood that marks society around us seemingly has drunkenness and pride. The picture is rather explicit stolen into our hearts and minds as well and we are there if you will see it. Marry that kind of man - marry more ready, it seems, than we were before to say, "If it that kind of woman ! Don 't delude yourself with hopes doesn't work out, I can always get divorced." that they will change after the wedding or that you can manipulate them into something they are not. If you I do not wish today to cause further pain to those who wish to avoid divorce in your lifetime, one thing you can have experienced divorce even though they tried every do about it is to pay attention to Christian values in the way they knew to avoid it, or to cause further pain for crucial decision as to whom you will marry. those who love them. But I am increasingly concerned about the way divorce is wreaking havoc throughout the A second place where I think we have weakened the Christian community. I feel we must be talking about foundation of our Christian marriages is in our these things together, particularly in a community like expectations for the marriage relationship itself. We this where so many of you are right now shaping the alternately have totally unrealistic expectations of values that will guide married life for you, where good marriage, or no expectations at all. We either believe it numbers are dating and engaged and comtemplating will put us on cloud nine, solve personality problems marriage. that have plagued us for years, bring instant euphoria and cure our acne- or we marry and continue to live in I do not have "The Answer" for Christian marriages. I large part as though we are single, never exploring how know how complicated the issues of a given separation two people can mutually support one another, how the can be - and I believe the Scriptures themselves give family can be a resource and not just a burden. us permissible grounds for divorce. But it seems to me that in at least three places we have so weakened the Think of al l the messages you have received from foundations of Christian marriage that it is a wonder television and the movi es, and the teaching about any of them survive anymore. I would like to try to shore various components of marriage. I think if you look at up those foundations today. them carefully it will be obvious that most of them are distortions of what life really is. The first way I believe Christian young people have weakened the foundations of marriage today is in the Soap operas are popular at Bethel, I hear. I've heard values by which a marriage partner is chosen in the first some of the women say the guys are more addicted to place. them than the women are now. Soaps are praised in some quarters because they tell it like it is, they don't Part of my responsibility here at Bethel is to run pull punches, they give a realistic picture of life. But engaged couple seminars for Bethel students Soaps don't give a realistic picture of life and you know contemplating marriage. I think those are valuable it. It's true th at no one is good - no, not one - but in seminars but the biggest decision about marriage is the Soaps, faithfulness, decency, honesty don't even already made, for good or ill, by the time we see those get bit parts in most of their characters! Newsweek couples. They have already decided whom t hey will says: marry and that decision alone would mean the difference between divorce and no divorce in the years "Some viewers look to Soaps to tell them what real life ahead. is like. Today's younger generation may enter adulthood with some very odd notions about what to expect. A I believe some of you will buy divorce right at this point recent survey of Soap addicts at the University of for the years ahead. You will make a marriage choice Kentucky discovered that most of them grossly overestimated t he proportion of doctors and lawyers in and doing acts of kindness. It's a little plain perhaps, a the real world, as we ll as the incidence of emotional little ordinary, but it is real and it is good. One thing we illness and divorce. Heavy exposure to Soaps may also all need to do to shore up the foundations of marriage warp adolescent sexual attitudes. Accordi ng to a study and of our relationship with others in gen eral is to revise conducted by a team at Michigan State, teen-age Soap our expectations - more in li ne with the Scriptures, viewers are likel y to conclude that married couples less distorted by the images our society feeds us . virtually never engaged in sex, wh ile singles do almost nothing else. After watching 65 hours of serials, the A third place where the foundations are weakened is in researchers found that nearly 80 percent of the scenes our commitment to keep our marriage vows_ Some in which intercourse was suggested occurred between Christians would say this is the on ly problem. I've dealt unmarried lovers - and only six percent involved with too many fa iled Christian marri ages to bel ieve that marital partners. (Not surpri singly, the Soap found to any longer. I don 't believe you can make bad matches contain the most sexual acitivity was top-rated 'General and bu ild in unrealistic expectations and hold that Hospital'). " shaky structure together 100 % of the time by sheer force of will power: " I will not get di vorced! " The picture of marriage in the Soaps is that there is nothing worse in life than a married partner that you no But I th ink t hat if, as Christians, we will choose our longer feel infatuated about. If that's your situation, marriage partners carefu lly and have a real ist ic view of their universal prescri pti on is that you should get ourselves, ou r mate and our relationship, a commitment divorced. Divorces are easy on the Soaps - a few tears under God to love one another till death will be maybe - but by Thu rsday the wounds have healed and everything else that is necessary for that marriage to the abandoned wife is in the arms of someone who last. And I do believe one of the th ings that has loves her better than the previous three ever did. All the happened in the last ten years that has made even good pain of real divorce is glossed over, all the hurt , the Christian marriages vulnerable is that we have backed insecurity, the change to children's lives, the financial off of our sen se that keeping that marriage vow is a loss for both partners for years to come. That is never sacred duty. It is a pledge we shou ld never make until portrayed. we are committed to fulfil l it, whatever circumstances arise. No one ever seems to rea lize on the Soaps that usually we take all the same old problems with us into the next The wife of a young couple in my Con necticu t church marriage and the next. No one ever seems to feel that developed M.S. five years into her marriage. There were working out problems within the marriage is an option. two small children and a husband who wasn't a It's always cut and run. Christian but who was a good father and a good husband. Sh e was confined to a wheelchair. Her Sex is another area where our society hands us husband picked up the household ch ores of cooking distorted perception. Sex is one of the good things of and cleaning and washing clothes. He also got a marriage (one of the ve ry good things in marriage) ! But second job to pay the medical bills. Her face bloated even sex can 't carry all the unrealistic baggage it is with the med icine she took, her personality changed. supposed to carry. After several years of this, one day she was so discouraged that she made a decision and when Bill It does not transport you out of you r body into ethereal came home, she told him, "Bill, you 're young. You didn't realms. It does not transform Mr. and Mrs. Ordi nary into plan a li fe li ke this when you married me. Take the Superman and Wonder Woman. It was never meant to children and leave me. Find a woman who can be the be something li ke a drug high. It was meant to be an wife I wanted to be to you." Bill sat for a long time in affirmation of a good but human relat ionship between a silence and then asked, "If I had M.S. , wou ld you leave man and woman. me?" And Noreen said, " No." An d he sai d, " That's your answer" an d they never talked about it again. Bill So many marriages are fall ing apart today, I'm wasn't even a Chri stian believer but he had learned convinced, because we have been reared on distorted something about fa ithfullness in marriage. Jesus said, images of married life and when we experience the real "For this cause a man shal l leave hi s father and mother thing, we are either disappointed or we do not know how and be joined to his wife and they shall become one to appropriate the good that is there. flesh. Whom God has joined together let no man put asunder." He meant it. It is a marriage vow for life. The Bible is so refreshing, after the Soaps and the Divorce is permitted in the Scri ptures only for movies. It paints such a down-to-earth picture of what abandonment by the other partner. It is sin for a men and women are rea lly like. It doesn't bank its Christian to initiate divorce or abandon t he one he has expectations on euphoria but on plain honest married. faithfulness and truthfulness, and love. It doesn 't give us Burt Rey nolds and Bo Derek as our married model, We need to return to t he understan ding Dietrich that is true - it suggests marriage is more like that Bonhoeffer speaks of when he says, "That our love which is modeled by Aquila and Prisci lla, laboring makes the marriage and then our marri age - our vow together at making ten ts and at serving the Lord. It tells - keeps the love." The vow we make to one anot her is us we don't have to find a goddess or a shining knight to what holds us t hrough t he difficult times an d forces us find fulfillment in life. We can find happi ness and to work out the compromi ses and brings us back to the fulfillment with that ordinary girl in t he second seat of love we sometimes lose. You cannot guarantee when the third row and she can find ful fillment in ordinary you make your marriage vow that t hat vow will not be you . Not because you suddenly become different in broken. But you can gurantee that you won 't break it. marriage but because two who love each other and love And it takes only two of those guarantees to make a the Lord can fi nd more happiness than the movie stars lasting marriage. ever know. It even tells us we don't have to have a marriage of any kind to find fulfillment; we can be We desperately need to strengthen the fo undations of fulfilled in singleness. But that is another message. our Christian marriages in this cou ntry. It could start right here in the marriages you people will build. The Bible is not blind to the faults in human lives and Choose wisely, be realistic about what you expect and human relationships, but neither does it exaggerate what you can give, make a vow that you never allow them. It knows about having to discipline our lives, yourself to break, and I pray God that He'll lead you into about being responsible, finding forgiveness, patching stronger marriages than the generations just preceding up quarrels, and showing our concern to one another you. LESSONS (cont.) NOMINEES FOR OFFICE OF And so, PUBLICATIONS: I pray for all the leaders of men and nations in their JOY DeBOER terrible responsibilities and opportunities. Calvin College Help them, realistically to: Grand Rapids, Ml make YOU their model, Joy has her B.A. from Calvin and to find in YOU College and an M.S.W. from the their unfailing friend. U. of Denver. She taught junior high English and, after graduate Bless them. school, was a psychiatric social Strengthen them. worker in Grand Rapids seven And - give them friends on earth, too. years. She is in her third year as Dean of Women at Calvin. Concerning ACSD's Koinonia, she says:

YOU ARE INVITED "The ACSD has as members a variety of evangelical Christians involved in a wide range of activities. We need to do more communicating and be more visible in our society. As editor, I would attempt to promote open St. Paul , Minneso ta 55 1! 2 scholarly communication and a visibility both within Telephooe: (612) 638-6400 and outside of the association."

Student Aff airs Office

t·1arch 31, 1982 BRENT GARRISON LeTourneau College Longview, TX Breant received his B.A. from Indiana U., an M.A. from Grace t1s. Ruth Bamford Theological Seminary, and is a President of ACSD Wheaton Co 11 ege candidate for a doctorate from Wheaton , IL 60187 Pensacola Christian College. He is married, has been an assistant Dear Ruth: pastor and a high school science teacher. Brent writes: On behalf of the entire Student Affairs staff at Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota , we extend to "At LeTourneau, I have taken a great interest in writing the membership of ACSD an invitation tJ hold the 1983 June Conference on our campus. and developing training programs for in-house use. Koinonia is an instrument that can help provide ACSD We are pleased to offer our faci l i ties and look forward information but also provide good articles that can be to being your host school . of help to student personnel workers. If I complete my Sincerely, doctorate this summer, I feel I would have the time to put into such a position as editor." -JtW_~ Mack Nettleton Director of Student Affairs WESLEY REDIGER MN:mk Eastern Mennonite College Harrisonburg, PA Wes has varied experience as EDITORIAL teacher, youth counselor, and in student personnel work. He has For years I have been intrigued by the literal meaning of his B.A. in Philosophy and statements such as "I will never forget .. . " or " I'll always Religion from Taylor U. , his M.A. remember ... " For the life of me, I cannot discern a • from Ball State U. in Student difference. Is it the "good stuff" in life that "I'll always Personnel Administration in Higher Education, and is remember" and the " bad stuff" that "I'll never forget" an Ed.D. candidate in Educational Admin istration and - or all of the above - or none of the above - or what Supervision at Ball State. Wes is married, with two difference is it anyway! children. He believes:

At any rate, this intrigue led me to ponder if I am a " We need to continue to apply our Christian experience Christian dean - or a dean at a Christian college -or and convictions to what we know and feel about our a dean at a college that is Christian - or a Christian students. Bible and liberal arts colleges can gain a dean at a secular college -or some of the above -or great deal from sharing each other's concerns and possibly two of the above - or who in this wide, wide visions. The Koinonia could become an excellent organ world cares! for publishing research and other critical writings on important concerns related to discipleship and Well, I care. I care a lot. I care very much that I am a development." dean and even more that I am a Christian. Both are important components of my life. I am happy where I am OUR LOVE TO WHEATON and do not discount the importance of location as it relates to job satisfaction. But I am not certain that We extend our deepest sympathy and love to "where" I am a dean and Christian is of paramount the Wheaton College community. They have importance. Consequently, I wonder if the "kind of recently experienced the tragic loss of two students through an automobile accident. (Cont. on back page) HIGHLY RECOMMENDED TAKE THE TEST I know you are busy, but - have you taken time this -READ THEM week to: write a " long overdue" letter? Your Body His Temple (Thomas Nelson Publishers Nashville, TN , 1981) Dr. A. L. Heller ' talk with a hurting friend? ___ express appreciation to someone? " Dr. Heller glimpses the glory of the assignment humans have to care for their bodies. He has treated a _ _ _ do something nice for a friend, anonymously? neglected - and often avoided - subject. If we are encourage a co-worker? serious about honoring the lease of three-score and ten on our personal physical property, we need to read - walk a mile every day? and to practice -what this book tells us." read for recreation? Snapping (Dell Publishing, Inc., , NY, 1978) Flo EDITORIAL (Continued) Conway, Jim Siegelman institution" I work at would render me " different" even "Snapping is by far the best and most scientific treat­ though I am still a Christian and a dean. I think not. ment of the cult problem yet published. For the scientist, politician, clergy or parent, it is valuable and An excerpt from the executive board minutes of wonderfully readable." October, 1981 , expresses a concern stated as follows:

Fit and Free (Division of Gil Publications, Glendale, CA, "We discussed the question of what do we want our 1978) Rick Kasper membership to become. Constitutionally, we are open to all Christians in Student Development, bu t "Physical fitness is far more important to a Christian's psychologically, we are still geared to Christian mental, emotional and spiritual well-being than most schools. How can we serve Christians who are working people realize. Rick Kasper has produced a practical at secular schools? Christian fellowship and profjram that anyone can follow to a better way of life." relationship are the key things that we can offer. We need to be asking the question, Can they translate our CONGRAT'S MIRIAM! program to use in their environment?" The Alumni Association of Grace College in Indiana has What do you think? chosen to honor as "1981 Distinguished College (P.S . This editorial is written by our "outgoing ed itor" as Alumnus of the Year" Mrs. Miriam Uphouse. food for thought - no more, no less.)

BETHEL COLLEGE NON -PROFIT OAG. 3900 BETHEL DR. POSTAGE PAID PERMI T 1899 ST. PAU L,MN. ST. PAUl . MINNESOTA 55112

ADDRESS: A k 0 i c n 0 n s i D a