Pioneers a Wellstone Benefit and WASHINGTON — the Question Was Class of '64, Recalls in an Interview

William Mitchell College of Law Student Newspaper March 2003 WMCL Alum Puts on Pioneers a Wellstone Benefit and WASHINGTON — The question was Class of '64, recalls in an interview. posed more than four decades ago, "But I would say that I and others CD Release Party for May 9 but the 15 women in the Harvard probably underestimated the compar- Law School Class of '64 still puzzle ative difficulty" the women faced in WMCL alumnus Larry McDonough Off Beat present arrangements and over how they should have answered what was a rigorous course of study ('83) has been a Legal Aid attorney original pieces with unusual time it. for everyone. for almost 20 years, in rural and signatures, rhythms and harmonies, "Why are you at Harvard Law "We knew it intellectually, but we urban offices around Minnesota. such as "Dame la Mano" (aka "Red School, taking the place of a man?" didn't live it. But they did live it." Before law school, he was a high River Valley") in 7/4 time, "This Land Dean Erwin Griswold asked them. The hard truth school band director and jazz pianist, is Your Land" in 5/4 time, with They had been invited to dinner at When Hope finished the first draft and he has continued to play ever Copeland harmonies and new lyrics to his home and then arranged in a of her book, she asked her daughter, since. fit the times, "A Rose for Two", an circle of folding chairs for what had Miranda, to read it. The tone was original written along with kids with become an annual ritual. There was "light and fluffy," Hope says. She disabilities in a Bill Evan's style, and concern, he explained, that admit- mimics the cheery voice of a game- "God Bless America" in 5/4 time with ting women to the school would put show contestant: " 'Isn't it amazing Turkish rhythms and minor all that valuable law school education that we went to law school; isn't it harmonies. to waste when they inevitably got funny all these things that seem so They also will perform other pieces married, had children and quit their awful now happened to us, but ha- from his first CD, "Small Steps", careers. ha.' " The women "just bounced along which continues to be played on Many of the women remember their on the top of the waves." radio stations around the world and answers then as flustered and stum- Miranda returned it with a devas- on the internet, including the origi- bling. Now, in their 60s and tating review. nal piece "Small Steps","Linus and approaching retirement age, they "It really wasn't like that," she told Lucy" and "Nature Boy", and from have a more articulate response: the her mother. "I remember how tired the demo, "Larry McDonough and Off lives they have lived. you were. I remember how grumpy On Friday, May 9, McDonough will Beat: Live, Cooking at the Dakota", Judith Richards Hope, who has you were sometimes. I remember celebrate the release of his second including "Take the A Train" in 5/4, written a new book about their expe- when you were passed over for solo piano CD, "Tuscarora: Short and "Cantaloupe Island" in 7/4. riences, became a domestic policy things, and it was gender- based, and Stories for Jazz Piano," with a CD Reviewers have compared McDonough adviser for President Ford, a noted you were furious, and you were release party and benefit at Dakota at to Dave Brubeck, John Coltrane, trial lawyer and the first woman on vengeful. Where's that?" Bandana Square, Energy Park Drive, McCoy Tyner, Ian Underwood, Bill Harvard's governing board. Judith Wounded, Hope put the book aside St. Paul, 651-642-1442, Evans, Chick Corea, John Fahey, Rogers is a judge on the influential for nearly two years and began to [email protected], Herbie Hancock, Patricia Barber, and U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. again think through her years as a www.dakotacooks.com. Claude Debussy. Circuit. Pat Scott Schroeder repre- law student and fledgling lawyer. She There is a $10 cover charge. sented a Colorado House district in took a six-month leave from her job The CD and the party are dedicated Congress for 12 terms and ran, as senior counsel to the law firm of to the memory of the late Senator briefly, for president. Ann Dudley Paul, Hastings, Janofsky & Walker. Paul and Sheila Wellstone, Marcia Goldblatt became a bioethicist, Each morning, she would climb the Wellstone Markuson, Mary McEvoy, Rosemary Cox Masters a psychothera- stairs to an attic office that over- Tom Lapic, and William McLaughlin, pist. looked her garden. who died in an October 25, 2002 Among the class one year ahead, "I would sit there and force myself plane crash, and benefit Wellstone Janet Reno became the first woman to go back into that era and back Action, a tax-exempt organization to serve as U.S. attorney general. In into a lot of the -- not the triumphs formed to carry on their work. the class one year behind, Elizabeth but the painful things that "Tuscarora: Short Stories for Jazz Hanford Dole became a Cabinet secre- happened, to try to remember what Piano" contains original music, as tary, a presidential contender and, it was really like," she says. "It was well as arrangements of jazz, popular, now, a senator from North Carolina. one of the most difficult things I've religious, and historical music in The women became corporate ever done: to tell the truth." She different times signatures and lawyers, solo practitioners, university conferred with her classmates, who harmonies, such as "Amazing Grace" McDonough has performed for 30 trustees, corporate board members, contributed their memories. One gave and "My Favorite Things" in 5/4, and years with local and national jazz professors, entrepreneurs, authors. her a copy of her diary from those "We Shall Overcome" and "Star artists. He was a regular on the Twin And lifelong friends. days. Spangled Banner" as jazz ballads. Cities jazz scene in the late 1970s They forged ties to help survive a continued on page 5 John Ziegler, of KUMD Radio in and early 1980s. He then cut back school where they often were treated Duluth, calls the CD "Contemplative, on public performances to raise three like oddities or intruders, and they but with a certain intensity that kept young daughters. sustained those ties after graduation In This Issue my ears perked. Larry's touch and McDonough reentered the jazz when most had trouble landing jobs. choice of harmonies reminds me of scene in the late 1990s, first with the WMCL Alum Puts on a Hope describes them as explorers in Benefit and CD Realease standing outside on a clear, cold jazz fusion group Bozo Allegro, and uncharted territory. "A few Admiral Party for May 9 ...... 1 night and looking up at the stars." then on his own with his first solo Byrds all going to the same Pole at McDonough knew the Wellstones piano CD, "Small Steps." He has the same time," she says, "and there Pioneers...... 1 for many years, both as a attorney performed for President Nixon, the was no map." Reflections of an advising them on national housing President of Mexico, and First Lady Only later, when she began to write Immigration Lawyer...... 4 policy, and as a pianist playing at Hillary Clinton. He recently appeared the book, did Hope realize how much their events. His remembrance of with legendary jazz-funk trombonist If the Governor anger and frustration she had felt Lived in My House ...... 7 them was published around the coun- and national recording artist Fred during those days. try last fall, and is posted on his Wesley. Only later did some of the men in website, http://www.larrymcdonough- He currently works at Minneapolis the class, even the friendly ones, Columns jazz.homestead.com. Legal Aid as a tenants' attorney, realize how unwelcome their female From the Editor...... 3 McDonough will be joined by his where he developed the housing law classmates felt. WLSA: A Woman’s Perspective . . . 3 Off Beat Quintet, including trumpeter manual and forms for "We thought they were rather gutsy Hearsay ...... 5 Phil Holm, saxophonist Dick Terrill, www.ProBono.net/mn, used by Legal Aid and rather brave to be there," The Examined Life ...... 7 bassist Elizabeth Draper, and drum- and pro bono attorneys around the Supreme Court Justice Stephen mer Chaz Draper. continued on page 5 Breyer, one of the 498 men in the on the web at www.wmitchell.edu/current/nonacademic/student_orgs/opinion.html Volume 8, March 2003

The Opinion • March 2003 Page 3 From the Editor With the budget cuts going on in This, of course, included law Minnesota, the press and everyone students, who will, sooner or later, be (almost) is quiet about how those in practice and have to deal with the cuts affect the judicial system. Why ensuing problems. is that, you ask? They are pretty dire, As you might know, if you’re a after all. Assuredly, other important member of the Hennepin County Bar Editor-in-Chief: Mary Kilgus cuts are getting a lot of press time Association, the Chief Judge in and are really important to the Hennepin County sent a letter to Managing Editor: Sara Dady people of Minnesota. Cuts in health- every member begging them to care, recreation centers, library time contact their state legislator and Contributing Writers: Prof. Jerome Ingber, Laura Torres, provided, police officers on horse- voice their opposition to the slashing Mary Kilgus, Shawn Bakken, Alfredo Lorente, Sara Dady back, firefighters, public education, of the system. Not everyone is quiet et cetera, et cetera. You can hardly about it. But there aren’t enough © 2003 The Opinion, William Mitchell College of Law Student turn on the radio these days without voices. Law students have to join in. Newspaper hearing about all those losses. Let me tell you, folks, and the Most judges and attorneys in the public defenders I know are already The Opinion is an independent publication of the Student Bar public sector are worried, too, just rushing from case to case. Association of William Mitchell College of Law. The views expressed pretty quiet about it. Maybe that’s Prosecutors are taking on more and in The Opinion are those of the authors and do not reflect the because their caseload is so large more work. Judges are handling the views of The Opinion editor, William Mitchell College of Law, its already that they don’t have time to largest caseload of any state with a employees or its Board of Trustees, unless otherwise noted. contemplate doing more work. similar population. If this state is to Hennepin County, for instance, is provide a competent legal system, The Opinion will always consider quality content submitted for discussing a 25% reduction in the which includes providing counsel to publication. Interested authors may forward copy of not more than Public Defenders office. Those are the the indigent, then the legislators 1500 words to [email protected]. folks who provide legal help to the better know someone cares about indigent, and can be seen in virtually this. The Opinion reserves the right to edit for clarity, space and every courtroom in the area. Cuts are Get involved. Call your legislator editorial content. coming in the prosecutor’s office, as and voice your opinion. If you can’t well, if they haven’t happened figure out who your legislator is, Please contact the Editor at [email protected] for specific already. Judges will be handling even there’s a great website at questions or comments. more cases in an already booming http://www.leg.state.mn.us/ to help you caseload that seems to never leave out. If they haven’t cut funding for Parties interested in advertising space should contact Sara Dady their desks. Legal Aid will suffer, and that, yet, that is. at [email protected]. so will every other legal service provided by county, city or state. So where’s the hue and cry? The legal community seems to be whis- pering about these impending cuts, instead of screaming about them.

Submissions to The Opinion April issue submissions are due March 25th This is our last issue of the year, so it’s time for YOU! The Opinion Thanks: Professor Ann Juergens Professor David Goldstein Professor Rick Ross Dean Haynsworth

For their generous support of the paper. Their contributions helped make the 2003 Spring Semester issues possible. WLSA: A Woman’s Perspective By Laura Torres ing law school, women are still detained from reaching their poten- The New York Times stated that by tial. For example, less than 10% of the Fall of 2002 there would be more partnerships in the top U.S. firms are women than men enrolled in law given to women. In a survey schools across America. The fact is conducted by Legal Work, 71% of astonishing considering that in the women felt they had a difficult time 1960’s women were less than 4% of developing critical relationships with the nation’s law students. In the past their superiors because they are not females entering the legal profession invited to partake in “male” bonding were ostracized. For instance, a activities. woman’s judgment was frequently The progress women have made in questioned in court. Prosecutors the legal field is slow yet notable. would warn the jury that a woman Women have gone from unlikely was incapable of logical reasoning candidates for law school to the because of her gender. Had it not majority in the classroom. While this been for the determination of these is a remarkable feat, there are many pioneer women lawyers the legal other battles to be fought, such as profession would not be as integrated establishing equality in the work- as it is today. place. Presently, women are still facing the same sort of problems. Despite the record number of females attend- Page 4 The Opinion • March 2003 Reflections of an Immigration Lawyer By Prof. Jerome Ingber in my youth. I began the clarinet at ily fortunate to have found some- has led to today’s throwback to ugly an early age and added the third thing that has permitted me to feel memories of the early 40’s in the Little did I think in 1969 when language to my repertoire – reading, worldly on a daily basis while being Japanese - American community by graduating from William Mitchell “up listening, and speaking the language at home in the heartland of America. focusing on the profiling of certain the block” and across the street from of music. In Brussels I learned Much has changed in this field over nationalities physically present in the St. Thomas College that I would now French. My wanderlust not being the past 25 years. Here in the land U.S., particularly as we prepare be in the midst of my 21st year as an complete, after a short courtship of 10,000 Gustafsons, Johnsons and ourselves for war with Iraq and adjunct professor teaching immigra- leading to marriage (engaged three Petersons, we now have Hmong, continue to be suspicious of individu- tion and nationality law at my alma months and married three months Somalis, and the fastest growing als of a particular religion, speaking mater. Why should I have expected later), Judith and I spent our first ethnic minority living in the Twin particular languages, born in certain this? I never had an opportunity to five years of married life living in Cities – Mexicans. Where are the parts of the world. take a class in this subject. None Israel where we learned Hebrew, and, Mexicans coming from? Many if not On March 1, 2003 the U.S. were offered. like Brussels where I knew no one at most are migrating from Southern Immigration and Naturalization I did have a class in Comparative the outset, we went through a new California of all places! Global warm- Service will be abolished and in its International Law taught by the late experience of meeting people, learn- ing, strong economy, Minnesota nice. place, the Department of Homeland Raymond van den Borght, himself an ing how things were done in a foreign These are generally the reasons Security will take over the monitor- adjunct member of the faculty who country, and being exposed to a given. In my early years of practice, ing of all aliens seeking to enter the was in the General Counsel’s Office of plethora of new cultures. the clients hailed primarily from oil- U.S. and those physically here. 3M. He inspired me to think beyond Why is this at all significant? Upon rich countries including Iran and Having been a dysfunctional agency significant issues like “was the light returning to the Twin Cities in 1977 Nigeria. The passage of the Refugee anyhow for over 20 years, I won’t be green or red when the defendant together with a young son, there was Act of 1980 and the various coups in sad to see the demise of the INS. entered the intersection?” or “who somehow a divine gravitation to the West Africa added Liberians, Having said that, I’ve got to be pretty gets the kid and who gets the field of immigration and nationality Ghanaians, and others; the fall of good at predicting how the INS would couch?” Professor van den Borght law that felt extraordinarily comfort- communism resulted in Slavs pouring view the thousands of petitions and told me about his former home – able to me even though I knew in to the U.S.; the Immigration Act of applications that I filed on behalf of Brussels, Belgium – and the flurry of nothing about it as a practice disci- 1990 provided a tremendous stimulus clients. I now have a hefty dose of international legal activities taking pline nor for that matter were there to the American business community fear and trepidation how the DHS will place in the capital of the Common other lawyers in the community who with increased opportunities for look at things because the emphasis Market. Little did I know that I could tell me about it. Renting an foreign professionals, so Chinese and of DHS – both in human resources myself would be living in Brussels upper duplex across the street from Indian nationals were added to the and budgeting – is unquestionably on working for a large Belgian invest- David Weissbrodt, a University of mix. The radical change in the enforcement and not on service! ment bank after graduation – at a Minnesota law professor who American economy and in particular, After all, this has been the direction time when I would find out that I suggested that immigration law may the economic woes of Southern followed by the INS since 1986 when successfully passed the Minnesota Bar be an interesting area for me to California, led to the Welfare Reform the Immigration Reform and Control taken the previous July! pursue, I handled my first case in the Act of 1996 and major changes in our Act was passed. I imagine that I developed a global fall of 1977 and within less than a laws impacting non-citizens both in In closing, sitting in Dean Doug perspective as a child growing up as a year, I decided that this is all that I the U.S. and those wishing to enter Heidenreich’s class back in the 60’s, I first-generation American. Both of wanted to do with my professional this country. The Patriot Act follow- had no idea that my professional life my parents were born in Europe so I time. I have no regrets whatsoever – ing 9/11 and the subsequent media to date would be taken up with the heard the Yiddish language every day rather, I consider myself extraordinar- linkage of terrorism to immigration continued on page 5

15% off The Opinion • March 2003 Page 5

Pioneers with humor. "We didn't have the education to good avail.' " continued from page 1 words" to protest more directly, Cox Where are they now? says. They were in a bridge genera- The 15 women from the Harvard The book that emerged has one of tion, an early wave in a national Law School Class of 1964: those titles that leaves little doubt transformation in attitudes toward • Arlene Lezberg Bernstein. Solo Hearsay about the conclusion Hope reached: women. Their role models were one practitioner, family law, Boston. Pinstripes & Pearls: The Women of the another; most hadn't met a female • Sonia Faust. Assistant attorney A fireplace in Hachey? A coffee Harvard Law Class of '64 Who Forged lawyer until they became them. In general for land and transportation, bar? Lots of room to talk to friends an Old-Girl Network and Paved the their day, just 3% of law school state of Hawaii. or study quietly? A patio?? Dare we Way for Future Generations (Scribner, students were women; now nearly • Ann Dudley Cronkhite Goldblatt. dream? $26). She writes about Griswold's half are. Bioethicist, University of Chicago. Yes, that’s what good old Willy is question; about the lack of women's The landscape was beginning to • Diana Gordon. Author, research thinking about doing for us. The restrooms at the law school; about a shift while they were there. Betty scholar, City University of New York. college is currently trying to find bizarre ritual called "Ladies Day." The Friedan published The Feminine • Marjory Freincle Haskell. Private financing for construction that will women in one professor's class were Mystique, sparking a debate over practice, Oakland; former Oakland begin next fall, tentatively. ( For all never called upon to speak except on women's roles. Martin Luther King Jr. City Council member, vice mayor. of you graduating in ’04, you might a designated day, when they were delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech • Judith Richards Hope. Senior be going to school in a construction placed on stage and drilled. The topic at the Lincoln Memorial as the civil partner in Paul, Hastings law firm in zone for your last year.) invariably was a case involving rights movement grew. The U.S. mili- Washington; president of a start-up A lot of the talk regarding this underwear, presumably an attempt to tary presence in Vietnam was biotechnology company. proposal came from two camps. One embarrass. expanding. President Kennedy was • Nancy Kuhn Kirkpatrick. Teacher, camp thinks the school should not They quickly learned to help one assassinated. University of Buffalo Law School; spend the money on re-vamping the another. "We were so few in number, "It was just like everything was retired. student areas, because most students it did mean a lot to have friends about to break open," Hope says. • Aurelle Joyce Smoot Locke. Law are commuters and do not hang among the women," Dole says. "There were these tremors, these professor and administrator, around on campus. The other camp "As we would say out West, you put rumblings underneath, when we University of Hartford; retired. says take a look at Hachey during your wagons in a circle and tried to started law school. And we were • Rosemary Cox Masters. lunchtime or any time after 2 p.m. figure out what you were going to actually part of those rumblings. We Psychotherapist, New York. and you will see how stuffed it is. do," Schroeder says. "I remember were doing something that we • Judith W. Rogers. Judge, U.S. In our opinion, the students could going in our first class -- I had guys weren't supposed to be doing." Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit. really use some space. The paltry on either side of me who stood and When they graduated, some law • Barbara Margulies Rossotti. offerings of the grill and the said they were going to change their firms refused to interview them. Partner in Shaw, Pittman law firm in cramped space around the tables in seats because they weren't going to Others explained that they already Washington. Hachey at times make for dismal sit next to a 'girl.' " had hired one woman and so, of • Sheila Rush. General counsel, breaks. Many students study in Just say no? course, wouldn't be considering Ananda Church of Self- Realization; Hachey and many go there to meet Hope has thrived in the hand-to- another. Hope couldn't find a firm in retired. friends, have meetings, get some hand combat of the courtroom, and her native Ohio willing to let her use • Pat Scott Schroeder. Former 12- dinner after a long day at work, or Schroeder was known for challenging her law degree, although the typing term House member from Colorado; various other activities. Trying to the old bulls in Congress. None of the award she had gotten in high school now president of the Association of accomplish all that in such cramped women in their class seem to lack for excited interest in her potential as a American Publishers. corners is bothersome. Of course, the brains or backbone. secretary. • Alice Pasachoff Wegman. Counsel, students make do, but increasing the So why didn't they revolt? She finally staked out the recep- EPA's Environmental Appeals Board. student space is definitely a good "I've thought about it many times tion room of Washington's leading • Grace Weiner Wolf. Co-founder of idea. Taking Hachey from the school- since then," says Alice Pasachoff trial lawyer, Edward Bennett publishing company for legal newslet- house lunchroom motif to a more Wegman, who became an environ- Williams, to demand an interview ters and books; retired. urban, contemporary space would do mental lawyer. "Why didn't we just and, eventually, she landed a six- Source: Pinstripes & Pearls wonders for the morale of the say, 'No, we won't do it'?" month tryout. "You have balls," he Copyright USA Today Information students, as well as provide a great Instead, women in the Class of '63 told her with admiration. Network Jan 21, 2003 space for visitors to see. helped drill them before Ladies Day, Reno recalls a speech she gave Reproduced with permission of the And the fireplace? The fireplace is and they in turn prepared women in years after graduation at a legal copyright owner. Further reproduc- going to be in the middle of Hachey. the Class of '65. They didn't do what dinner attended by Dean Griswold, tion or distribution is prohibited One of those round things with the the women did a half-dozen years who died in 1994. They had remained without permission. seats around it. Just dream about later during the quiz on underwear- in contact, and he had been a help to sitting next to a warm fire after you related cases: pull bras and panties her. Now she was attorney general, have walked three blocks in sub-zero out of their briefcases and throw the top-ranking lawyer in the coun- weather to get to school. Rumor has them at the professor and the class. try. She recounted the question he it that this year’s senior class will Hope says that marked the end of had posed to her and her female put up the money for that. What a Ladies Day. classmates at dinner during law legacy that will be! WM has enough Instead, they worked hard, ignored school, and then added an answer. benches, don’t you think? some insults and deflected others "I said, 'I trust I've used your

WMCL Alum… Reflections of an means to be an American citizen. continued from page 1 Immigration Lawyer To the forty students in Room 223 this semester who hail from all parts continued from page 4 state and country. He has been http://www.larrymcdonoughjazz.home- of the U.S. as well as no fewer than stead.com recognized by the Minnesota Law and extraordinarily challenging field of eight foreign countries, I say that [email protected] Politics as a "Super Lawyer", and by immigration and citizenship law. I new policy considerations being laid (Home and UOM) William Mitchell College of Law as have had the opportunity to touch out by Secretary Ridge of DHS will [email protected] (Legal Aid) one of "100 Who Made a Difference" many many lives, affect careers, seek lead to a more level playing field for [email protected] over the 100 year history of the the fulfillment of dreams, and yes, all practitioners in this marvelous (St. Thomas) school. He also teaches Poverty Law disappoint others who badly wanted, discipline. There has always been a and the Housing Law Clinic at the but were simply not qualified, to saying amongst immigration lawyers University of Minnesota and remain in America. Clients have that the more disorganized the University of St. Thomas Schools of included individuals as well as government is, the more complex the Law. America’s fortune 100 companies; law becomes, the longer that regula- For more information, go to foreign nationals from over 150 tions are delayed without being http://www.larrymcdonoughjazz.home- countries; conductors of major published in the Federal Register, the stead.com. symphonic orchestras to cooks and more frustrating the lack of compe- dishwashers in ethnic and American tent service becomes, well, the more Larry McDonough restaurants; applicants seeking need there will be for focused lawyers Phone 651-646-1909, asylum due to persecution attributed who can provide the comfort, confi- Cell 651-398-8053 to race, religion, ethnicity, political dence, and get through the quagmire Work 612-746-3608 opinion, and gender preference; known as immigration law. and 612-827-3774 former eastern-bloc citizens crying Fax: 612-827-7890 upon receiving their first American passport to Canadians receiving the same document however without a complete appreciation for what it Need Help Communicating? You’re Not Alone.

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LIE D PRINTIN A L G ¨ UNION TRADESLABEL COUNCIL 19 S T W ES IN CITI The Opinion • March 2003 Page 7 The Examined Life wondering how a car could fit before the season was essential if I little and got onto the court. Once I through the doors of a gymnasium, I was going to take on the other team started moving, I was just like Mike. just felt like curling up and dying in by myself and occasionally give the Unfortunately, it was the wrong the aftermath of my first league game ball to my teammates, letting them Mike. When I started playing, the of intramural basketball. help out a little while I earned the results looked a lot more like Mike People might look at me and think MVP trophy. That’s when I turned to Tyson. The first time someone passed I’m a natural. (I didn’t realize all of the treadmill in my basement. I’d me the ball, it got to my hands. And you would be laughing at the same had trouble with it previously—the it kept going. I tried to pick it up, By Shawn Bakken, sports columnist time….) I’m a tall, lanky person belt kept slipping under my feet but the ball kept squirting around on Have you ever spent a lot of time who’s got long arms and a scruffy whenever I used it for over five the floor like I was trying to grab it not doing something and then jump- face with “hoodlum” written all over minutes or walked faster than 2.5 with a pair of boxing gloves. Or ing in headfirst, hoping to God that it. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t miles per hour. I hired a repairman maybe the leather got covered with it doesn’t look too awkward? That have visited the tattoo parlor so to fix it, who looked like he knew snot before I showed up. you won’t screw up too bad? That many times as an undergrad, espe- exactly what he was doing. He When I took my first shot in ten your partner won’t look down under cially since I could end up bringing a replaced an important part under the years, the ball was supposed to arc the sheets, see why you’re making case to court and scare the living belt, tweaked a few things, replaced beautifully through the air and swish those funny noises and then start bejeezus out of a judge. That’d have the muffler and took one of my through the net without touching laughing uncontrollably? Happens to a high potential for pissing off kidneys as a down payment. The the rim, but it did touch the rim. In me all the time. The hoping, I mean. clients, but pissing off players on the next time I used the treadmill, it fact, had I been in the ring like A lot of things aren’t like “riding a basketball court is another matter started slipping again. Tyson, it would have been a powerful bike.” You can’t just mount up and altogether. That can be the best part It seemed that exercise was out of uppercut to a metal jawbone, drop- start riding at full speed—you could of the game, but not so much if the question. Still, I’d been to the ping the backboard like a rock and end up with the seat buried in a very they’re on your team. movies recently and I saw a glimmer sending it shattering across the uncomfortable place, like your nasal When I signed up, I had this of hope. As a law school student, I canvas. That’s when I took a chomp cavity. When that happens, you can’t picture in my head of running around think I speak for all of us when I say out of someone’s ear. Okay, I didn’t, twist your body around to reach the on the court, getting into everyone’s I’ve been following Lil Bow Wow’s but maybe I should have just so I pedals, your balance gets shot to hell, face and dominating the game. I’d career since his crib was actually a wouldn’t be the only one suffering and you end up tumbling down a hill, stand in front of the person with the crib. I even watched Like Mike in the out on the court. driving the seat up your nose even ball and start yelling at him to try theater 12 _ times—that last time, I Things didn’t improve must after further. If you thought drugs were something. There are females in the got dragged out of the building by those opening few minutes. I gener- good at killing brain cells, you’re in league, but just in case the picture some friends who proceeded to ally got rid of the ball as soon as it for a real treat. That’s why my bicy- didn’t work right, I wouldn’t be pummel me against a dumpster, touched me and plodded after every- cle is sitting in the shed with a chain nearly as embarrassed if a girl almost hoping to beat some sense into me. I one else as they ran down the court. that’s been rusting for years: I’m a foot shorter than me drove her don’t like Lil Bow Wow anymore. Not exactly the brilliant start to the usually not willing to take that elbow into my groin and dribbled But Like Mike was the answer. He season I had expected, but it wasn’t a chance. around my crumpled body for a quick found some of Michael Jordan’s old complete loss. I found out there are But this winter, I did—I opted to two points. Anyway, in the imagi- high tops and I bought some new more muscles in my body than I ever try something I hadn’t done in ten nary game, the other player would cross-trainers two weeks before the knew could ache, I’ll have a new car years. When it was all over, I felt like cut one way and I’d poke the ball game. “It’s gotta be the shoes….” if I can get it out of park and off my I had been run over by a car two or loose. He’d try to shoot the ball and Those would give me the ability to chest and every time since then, three times, after which it parked on I’d slap it down into his face again. soar around the court, jumping from whenever I crawl under the sheets, I my chest so I could barely breathe— By the end of the game, every half court for a slam dunk (because pass out for hours. At least that way, the air that was escaping sounded a member of the other team would I’m that much taller than the kid I can’t hear the laughter. lot like the car lost its muffler a average at least two black eyes and was). When I finally got to my first couple hundred miles back. Maybe maybe a basketball or two shoved up basketball game in ten years, I was riding a bike wouldn’t have been such their collective noses. ready to go. I wiped off the new a bad idea after all. Aside from I knew that getting into shape shoes, loosened up the muscles a If the Governor Lived in My House By Sara Dady Credit cards aren’t the only source of with my morning coffee any day now. be overworking themselves need- debt that average families harbor- When I pointed out to him that he lessly. Parents do not have a duty to If I hear Governor Pawlenty there are also mortgages, student is supporting me now so that I can provide the best possible education, compare the state’s $4.2 billion loans, car loans and leases. The over- use my legal education to support healthcare or living arrangements for deficit to that of a Minnesota family’s whelming amount of debt that him later, he countered that there are their kids. There are no guarantees budget one more time, I will be average families depend upon to live no guarantees that I’ll ever land that that the kids will later provide for forced to box his ears with my makes them three paychecks away $100K a year job or score 30% of their aging parents. Parents should tattered checkbook. The Governor’s from bankruptcy. That indicates to multi-million dollar class action try to get their kids out of the house analogy seems sensible and even me that average families continue to settlement. Good point. Why should as early as age five by providing only clever on its face- just like the aver- spend even while they take in less. the state continue to spend outra- the bare minimum of services- age Minnesota family spends less They should have passed a balanced geous amounts of money on although providing none at all would when it takes in less, the state of budget requirement in their house- education or healthcare when there work even faster. That way, parents Minnesota has to spend less. It has holds years ago. are no guarantees that the benefici- would only have to work hard long been a winning strategy for The state government not only has aries of the programs will turn out to enough to support themselves. politicos to speak in folksy because a the right to freeze salary increases for be productive citizens? Just because If the average Minnesota Family complicated situation is best state employees but can also lay off the state can raise taxes to pay for lived debt free and felt no obligation obscured by oversimplification. In non-essential personnel in order to these existing programs doesn’t mean to provide for its members, then the order for the Governor’s analogy to be balance the budget. My husband has that it should. Governor’s analogy might be appro- valid, we have to assume that the been kicking himself ever since he The Governor has stumbled upon priate. But as it stands, the state of state government operates exactly realized that I am currently a non- the greatest method in the history of Minnesota should go out and get a like a Minnesota family, with the essential member of our household. I our state to combat citizens’ depend- second job. same responsibilities and powers. It quit my corporate w/benefits job last ence on state services. Eliminate the doesn’t but maybe Minnesota families year in order to find the lowest services- dead or fled people do not need to take a clue from the paying part-time/no benefits law need state-subsidized healthcare, Governor’s vision of state govern- clerk job possible. So while our housing, food or education. ment. household income speeds toward Minnesota is ushering in a stunning The state is constitutionally poverty level, I continue to rack up form of economic Darwinism. Those required to balance the budget- tens of thousands of dollars in who can afford to eat, will eat, those Minnesota families are not. In fact, student loans. And he continues to who can afford to have healthcare, the cornerstone of the average family feed, clothe me, put a roof over my will have healthcare. Survival of the budget is CREDIT. The 2002 credit head and pay my car insurance at his healthiest bank account. report posted on the State of own out of pocket expense. My debt Likewise, Minnesota parents who Minnesota Treasurer’s website reveals to earnings ratio is so far out of take second or even third jobs to that the average American family whack that I’m expecting a pink slip make ends meet for their kids could owes over $8,000 in credit card debt. “I Cannot Imagine Taking The MBE Without PMBR...

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