Sep1temb4 er 2005

TIME TO KILL Jim Rudnick

FOURTH FLOOR MONITOR Mike Ripley

SOLITARY CONFINEMENT Matthew King

Plus… POETRY COMICS FILK

And… CONVENTIONS REVIEWS FACES OF FANDOM

www.nthzine.com

September 2005, Issue #14

C ONTENT S FEATURES

The Editor’s Rant by Michael D. Pederson ...... 2

Conventions ...... 4

Spine Bender by Michael D. Pederson ...... 10

Faces of Fandom: Christopher J. Garcia as himself ...... 14

Comics ...... 34

FICTION

Time To Kill by Jim Rudnick ...... 16

Fourth Floor Monitor by Mike Ripley ...... 24

Solitary Confinement by Matthew King ...... 26

POETRY /F ILK

Darkness by Julian Gibson ...... 23

Mrs. Mad Scientist by Rochelle Mitchell ...... 32

The Buffy Bunch by Johnny Carruthers ...... 33

Cover illustration for “Time To Kill” by Alan Beck

Nth Degree is a free, quarterly semi-pro fanzine. We encourage you to submit your manuscripts, illustrations, or photographs, but cannot guarantee the return of any unsolicited materials. All contributors retain individual rights to their contributions. Six-issue subscriptions are available by sending $18 to: Nth Degree ; 8600 Queensmere Place #2; Richmond, VA 23294; 804-270-0384; email [email protected]. Back issues are available for $3 each. Nth Degree #14 is ™ and © by Big Blind Productions, September 2005. Printed by Capitol Color Printing; Fredericksburg, VA, www.capitolcolor.com. September 2005 1 the editor’s STAFF

PUBLISHER /E DITOR Rant Michael D. Pederson Michael D. Pederson, Publisher/Editor ASSOCIATE EDITORS Robert Balder Cindy Hutchins Time for another update on how things are going here at the bustling offices of Nth Degree. For starters, we have more projects going on than ever before. And by we, I mostly WEBMASTER mean me. Sigh. Brandon Blackmoor The biggest news involves the website. After letting it slide for way too long, I’ve finally got - ten the entire site up-to-date. All of the fiction, poetry, filks, comics and con reviews that have STAFF ARTIST appeared in the magazine have finally been loaded onto the website. I’ll keep this current from J. Andrew World here on out if it kills me. GRAPHIC DESIGN Brandon has added a neat new section to the website for us to start uploading exclusive new Michael D. Pederson “web only” content. This is going to be for fiction that I enjoyed but didn’t think was quite right for the magazine. I frequently receive good stories that are too long or are too similar to some - WITH HELP FROM thing I’ve just published, now I’ll have a place to put them. And I have enough material that I’ll Alan Beck be able to post new stories on a daily basis. C.J. Henderson I’ve also got several stories that I wanted to run in the zine but simply didn’t have room for. Christopher J. Garcia That’s one of the downsides to being quarterly. My output just can’t keep up with the volume Jack Jeffers of submissions I receive. One of these days we’ll be able to go bi-monthly but until then I’ll be Tee Morris putting out a monthly e-zine to go with the print magazine. NthZine will feature the fiction that James S. Reichert couldn’t fit into the print zine. Also, being monthly, we’ll be able to run more timely reviews for Tony Ruggiero things like television, movies, CDs and comics. The e-zine will be available as a PDF download. Billy Tackett In theory it will be very similar to Nth Degree, only distributed in an electronic format. Nth Degree has also taken on the task of hosting a science fiction literary con in Richmond, BIG BLIND PRODUCTIONS , I NC . Virginia. RavenCon is my own little brainchild but I’m being ably assisted by authors Tee Morris 8600 Queensmere Place #2 and Tony Ruggiero. Tee, Tony and myself attend quite a few conventions and decided that our Richmond, VA 23294 insider’s perspective would help us in organizing Richmond’s first SF con in over twenty years. 804-270-0384 We’ve seen quite a bit of what works and what doesn’t work and are not ashamed to liberally borrow ideas from other cons. We’ve already got a crack staff of volunteers. If the amount of fun Send $18.00 to the we have at our meetings is any indication then RavenCon will surely be a success. above address to receive Creatively, I’m having a banner year. Unfortunately, quantum instabilities in my personal life a 6-issue subscription. are still an issue. The big move last January threw my print schedule off a bit. Now I find myself Back issues are available forced to move again in September. And again in October. Then I’ll stay put for a while. I prom - for $3 each. ise. The downside is that I’ll probably only get three issues out this year. This won’t affect sub - scriptions any since I’ve always measured subscriptions by number of issues rather than by the Nth Degree calendar. And conventions won’t suffer since I’m increasing my print runs to accommodate is a quarterly longer distribution periods. semi-pro fanzine. By the time you read this, the monthly e-zine (NthZine) and daily web updates should be www.nthzine.com going strong though. In the meantime, I suggest that everyone buy lots and lots of back issues. The money’s always nice to have and less stuff to move is less stuff to move.

2 Nth Degree September 2005 3 C ONVENTIONS

Stellarcon 29 CONVENTION March 11-13 Greensboro, NC S CHEDULE http://www.uncg.edu/student.groups/sf3/stellarcon.htm S EPT -O CT I love this con. There are few cons that I have more fun at than Stellarcon. Maybe more cons should be run by pirates. Sept. 1-5 Cascadia Con This year’s Guests of Honor included Lani Tupu (Media), Seatac, WA Janny Wurts (Writer), Don Maitz (Artist) and J.D. Wiker www.cascadiacon.org (Gaming). And what a great bunch of guests. I know because I Sept. 2-5 Dragon*Con was asked to host an Inside the Actor’s Studio -style interview Atlanta, GA with them (with the exception of Don Maitz, who presented his own slide show instead). It was www.dragoncon.org a great concept that the audience and the guests all seemed to enjoy. I know I had a blast! Sept. 9-11 CopperCon Frankly, the rest of the con is a blur. Phoenix, AZ There were a few drinks in the bar Friday night with John Ringo and company. Then lots of www.coppercon.org prepping on Saturday to make sure the interviews went smoothly. I’m pretty sure that I did a Sept. 23-25 FenCon panel or two somewhere in there. And, of course, I hosted our usual Nth Degree party on Dallas, TX Saturday night. One of our best yet, I might add (thanks go out to Patrick Vanner for that). www.fencon.org Other than that it was a typically exciting Stellarcon that is best recalled in snapshot images: Sept. 29 - Oct. 2 Archon Lots of pirates and stormtroopers. A HUGE number of familiar faces. A 2:00 panel on Friday St. Louis, MO afternoon that almost didn’t happen but turned into loads of fun. Great hall costumes (go to the www.archonstl.org/nasfic/ website and check out the Dolls). Some scary activity at the room party. And lots of giggly Oct. 7-9 Conjecture Carolina Scapers at the Lani Tupu interview. San Diego, CA Next year’s Stellarcon is being moved from March to February. I’m giving everyone lots www.conjecture.org of notice on this. I don’t want to hear any lame excuses about not knowing that they changed Oct. 7-9 ConClave dates. See you there! MP Lansing, MI www.conclavesf.org MidSouthCon 23 Oct. 7-9 Context April 1-3 Columbus, OH Memphis, TN www.contextcon.com http://www.midsouthcon.org/ Oct. 7-9 SiliCon MidSouthCon 23 was a real success again this year. It was expected that attendance would be San Jose, CA down significantly from last year—since DeepSouthCon 42 (a regional science fiction con that www.siliconventions.com is hosted each year by a different convention) coexisted with MidSouthCon 22—however, atten - Oct. 7-9 Albacon dance for MidSouthCon 23 exceeded 1000, as it did for MidSouthCon 22/DeepSouthCon 42. Albany, NY This is very healthy growth for a con that averaged 400 to 500 attendees for years. This year’s www.albacon.org programming reflected the higher attendance with 120 hours of programming scheduled in up Oct. 14-16 Capclave to six simultaneous tracks (and that’s not counting the Anime, Video or Gaming rooms). Silver Spring, MD MidSouth’s Artist Guest of Honor was Stephen Hickman. The Art Show featured several of www.capclave.org his paintings and he hosted a slide show of his work. You may own some of his work without Oct. 14-16 Ditto being aware of it—he has illustrated approximately 350 covers for Ace, Baen, Ballantine, Milwaukee, WI Bantam, Berkeley, Dell, Del Rey, Doubleday, Phage Press, Tor and Warren Publications as well www.circlenk.com/ditto as a lot of Tolkien and Lovecraft art. Oct. 28-30 Necronomicon The Science GoH this year was Gregory Benford. He was on the panel for “Using SF to Teach Tampa, FL the Scientific Method”—a good match since he won a Nebula Award for his novel Timespace and www.stonehill.org/necro.htm

4 Nth Degree is also a professor of Plasma Physics and Astrophysics at the University of California. CONVENTION Of course any convention featuring Brinke Stevens, “The Queen of Scream,” is on my list of favorite places to be. Brinke was the Media GoH. Her panel, “Bad Movies and Why We Love S CHEDULE Them,” turned out to be a real hoot. A little known fact about Brinke is that she has a Master’s Degree in Marine Biology from the Scripps Institute of Oceanography in La Jolla. And for a time N OV -D EC she worked at the San Onofre Nuclear Power Station and National Marine Fisheries. The Filk Guest of Honor was The Great Luke Ski (Luke Sienkowski). Luke has the energy Nov. 3-6 World Fantasy Con of a dozen tribbles. His parodies, “Stealing Like a Hobbit,” based on Eminem’s “Cleaning out Madison, WI my Closet” and “Peter Parker,” a Spider-Man parody are two of the funniest songs I’ve heard. www.worldfantasy.org Gaming was well represented. FORGE (Fellowship of Role Gaming Enthusiasts) set up a Nov. 4-6 OryCon room with ten tables for running sanctioned RPGA games. I gamed with them and, as usual, really Portland, OR www.orycon.org/orycon27 enjoyed it. MidSouthCon’s gaming schedule included over 150 role-playing, miniature, collectable card and board games as well as a LAN party, a LARP and lots of other fun stuff. The Memphis Nov. 11-13 AfterLife Strategy Board Gaming Community was also well represented. AEG kicked off its Warlord World Atlanta, GA www.psychoticbody.com Conquest at MidSouthCon and met with great success. Games Workshop was the Gaming GoH and gave a panel on their company that explained a lot about the gaming industry. Nov. 11-13 WindyCon The Art Show had art ranging from hobby artists to consummate professionals. As usual, I Rosemont, IL www.windycon.org could not keep my hands in my pockets and ended up bidding on several pieces and winning a few. The Dealer’s Room, in my humble opinion, did not have as good a selection of wares as in Nov. 11-13 Astronomicon the past but I know that the con organizers cannot be blamed for that. There are so many cons Rochester, NY www.astronomicon.info now that it is impossible to avoid scheduling conflicts with other locations. The hall costumes and the Masquerade were good, as was the Art Auction (I did sit on my Nov. 11-13 Novacon hands during the auction). Private parties flourished. The Con Suite was always packed, but well Huntsville, AL www.novaconusa.com run with a good selection of con survival nourishment. As usual I had a good time. Ah well, until next year! JJ Nov. 11-13 United Fan Con Springfield, MA www.unitedfancon.com Balticon 39 May 27-30 Nov. 18-20 Anime USA Baltimore, MD Tysons Corner, VA www.animeusa.org http://www.balticon.org/2004/ Once again, me and mine attended the annual science-fiction Nov. 18-20 TusCon convention of the Baltimore Science Fiction Society over Tuscon, AZ http://home.earthlink.net/~basfa Memorial Day weekend. The Writer Guests of Honor were Stephen Barnes and his spouse, Tananarive Due, the Artist Nov. 25-27 Darkover Guest of Honor was Bob Eggleton and the Filk Guest of Honor Timonium, MD www.darkovercon.com was Jordan Kare. This was the fifth year that Balticon has been held over Memorial Day weekend with an expanded, four-day Nov. 25-27 LosCon schedule, and I can truly say they have handled the transition beautifully after some initial grow - Los Angeles, CA www.loscon.org ing pains. My son and I arrived at the Wyndham Inner Harbor Hotel midafternoon on Friday. Check- Nov. 25-27 Chambanacon in was quick and painless. My son, a gamer, spent the bulk of the weekend running between the Springfield, IL www.chambanacon.org computer room (participating in networked online tournaments), the gaming room and the anime room. My interests on the other hand are focused on writing. I started off with a panel on Dec. 2-4 SMOFCon Portland, OR fanzines moderated by Nth Degree ’s own Michael Pederson with great visual aids and stories sup - www.osfci.org/smofcon plied by Steve Stiles, followed by a panel on “Creating Realistic Species,” and finished off the evening with a panel on “Humor In Science Fiction” moderated by Bud Sparhawk. I also managed Dec. 9-11 Philcon Philadelphia, PA to watch a few episodes of anime and visited the Dealer’s Room and Art Show. The topper for the www.philcon.org

September 2005 5 night was a presentation by local TV personality Count Gore De Vol, ors. Our discussion continued after the panel was done, and he took dressed in full vampire regalia. The Count was in good form as he me to the Green Room to continue our chat. We were joined shortly introduced a number of independent films. by Analog Mafia member and noted Heinlein historian Eric Kotani Saturday started off early for me with the Writer’s Workshop at and by David Silver, also an attorney and the President of the 9:00. This workshop, moderated by writer Steve Lubs, is a teaching Heinlein Society. Our talk covered a number of topics and lasted for workshop and this year he focused on creating believable characters. the rest of the morning. Wonderful! Contact with important writers With a room full of aspiring writers, we had lively discussions on in the field is what I come to cons for. how to create compelling characters for our stories. The art show was Sunday was another busy day attending panels, watching videos, in especially good form with a whole section devoted to Bob bidding at the art auction, participating in the voice auction that fol - Eggleton’s work as well as dozens of other artists. My favorites were lowed and then collecting my prizes. The day was capped off with Moifa’s Chinese-style brushwork, and Mark Rogers’ fantasy artwork. the Second Annual Balticon Film Festival. Although still a new fea - I first saw Moifa’s work at Philcon several years ago and have watched ture of the con, they received more films than they could schedule as her sparse watercolors have gone from being a steal to the point on Sunday. I understand that many of the films that Count Gore De where I can no longer afford them. The rest of the day was spent in Vol presented on Friday actually were submitted for the film festival, various panels, including one on “Breaking Writer’s Block .” This but could not be presented because of time constraints. As you panel was especially comforting as it helped me to appreciate that would expect, they ranged from truly awful to quite good. writer’s block among authors is as common as Klingons at a Trek Monday was the final day of the con, but was still very active with convention. I just wish they had some magic bullet for curing it. panels, video presentations and of course the Dealer’s Room. I had After dinner, my son and I attended the Masquerade. As usual, the visited several times throughout the con but was surprised to see the competition was hosted by Marty Gear in his vampire persona, with room still packed with dealers eager to do business. One dealer later roughly twenty entrants. My favorite was a humorous presentation explained: At most cons, you do little business on the last day so ably assisted by Marty. He reminisced fondly about visits from the many dealers pack up and leave as soon as they can. For some reason, tooth fairy when he was a child. She removed the tooth painlessly and most of the dealers were doing better business Monday at Balticon paid you lots of money. The lights then came up and out on the stage than they had the rest of the weekend, and nobody was leaving. walked another fairy, wearing a white fright wig and carrying a three After making my round of good byes, I packed my car and head - foot hypodermic. Marty advised us that now that we’re adults, we will ed out. Next year will be yet another transition for Balticon. After receive visits from this person, the root canal fairy. She will cause you over a decade located in Center City Baltimore, the con committee great pain as she extracts teeth, and will leave only after you have paid decided to relocate to the Hunt Valley Marriott outside the city. her lots and lots of money. It was a scream! As lighthearted as this pres - From its web page, it looks to be a beautiful facility, so I guess change entation was, it still managed to take two of the top prizes of the night. is good. See you next year! JSR After the last presentation, my son headed back to the gaming room and I headed to the room parties. Sadly, this year the number ConCarolinas 2005 of parties was quite low. Nth Degree had the most popular party of June 3-5 the night, dispensing its own special brew of “tea” in the much- Charlotte, NC sought-after glow-in-the-dark cup. But aside from a party hosted by http://www.concarolinas.org/ the Philcon con committee and another hosted by the Chicago in I fought thunder storms and rush- 2008 bid committee, that was it (at least that I could find). hour traffic to make it to Charlotte Understand, this is quite unusual for Balticon, as there are usually a by early evening. I arrived a little dozen or more parties to choose from all weekend. worse for wear. Sunday started for me at 10:00 with a panel on “Writing as a My first stop—after checking Second Career,” with a number of authors—including novelist into my room and cranking the AC to fight back the oppressive Robert Chase—participating. This panel was the highlight of the southern humidity—was the bar. I remembered from the previous weekend for me. As I am an attorney like Bob Chase, as well as a year that they served Guinness in the nitro cans and that was just fledgling writer, I asked how he dealt with the ticklish ethical ques - what I needed. On arriving I discovered that Tee Morris and Tony tion on how to keep your legal career separate from your writing Ruggiero had already beaten me there. A couple of pints later I had career. Attorneys have strict ethical requirements as members of the gotten the scoop on Tee and Tony’s book tour and was ready to join legal bar not to mix their legal careers with any other public endeav - the real world, or at least the con world. I sat in on Tony’s panel on

6 Nth Degree “The Role of Modern Day Vampires” and then retreated to the bar years that I’ve attended, programming has always proved a challenge. for dinner. Tee introduced me to writer/podcaster Mur Lafferty and This year, I submitted my ideas for panels and didn’t heard anything then it was off to my first panel, “Internet Publishing.” The turnout in reply. After several e-mail requests I was finally told to check a was pretty good for a Friday night panel and it was the only one I programming grid online. The grid was awkward to read, not exactly had scheduled, leaving me free for the rest of the night. printer-friendly, and color-coded with green for “open” panels and Apart from myself, what else was going on at the con? Guests of blue for “closed.” Honor included Greg Keyes (Writer), Farscape’ s David Franklin There was a lot of blue staring back at me. (Media), and The Great Luke Ski (Filk). Horror movie icons Ken I attributed the awkward manner in which guests were supposed Foree (Dawn of the Dead) and Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th) were to check the programming grid for themselves to Westercon’s deci - on hand for autograph sessions as well. sion to have the Con Chair serve as head of Programming. This is a Saturday was my busy day. I was scheduled on panels from lot of responsibility for one person to shoulder and should have been 10:00-4:00 and then for a signing from 4:00-5:00. Seven hours, no delegated better. I did manage to get panels though—all of them break. Now, I’m not one to complain and I do like being on as many solid, fun panels that I looked forward to. panels as possible but a lunch break would have been nice in there. The Westin Hotel of Calgary was our host, and with “early bird” Just something for programmers to think about in the future. On programming commencing a day early the Dealer’s Room was open the plus side though I got to have dinner with Ken Foree, so there for setup. I was at the Dragon Moon table alongside The Sentry Box, was some karmic balance. one of the biggest and most popular Calgary-based gaming/book Saturday night started off back in the bar. The cliche really is store; Edge Publishing (another Calgary-based publisher); and true, many writers and editors do spend a lot of time at cons in the OnSpec Magazine. The Dealer’s Room had a lot to offer in books, bar. Especially at ConCarolinas. The Marriott Executive Park has got jewelry, clothing and other cool stuff. a very nice bar with an excellent staff. The group gathered there that My first panel was “The Independent Press: Myths and night included SMOFs, writers, actors, editors and fen. A real cross- Mythconceptions,” featuring Dragon Moon author Valerie section of fandom. Saturday night is also the best night for events at Grisworld-Ford and myself alongside Danita Maslan (launching her the con too though, so after a couple hours it was back to the con debut novel, Rogue Harvest ) and independent comic book artist for Klingon karaoke. Also got to catch some of Luke’s concert— Andrew Foley. The questions from the house (and from the pan - funny stuff, as always. We also made it to the Stellarcon pirate party elists) foreshadowed a great con as the curiosity level from the fans for some pretty serious rum concoctions. Sadly, I missed Janine and panel participants was sincere and engaging. Garner and Cheralyn Lambeth presenting their dueling Slave Leia Dragon Moon Press publisher Gwen Gades hosted “Just Tell Me costumes at the Masquerade. I hear that they were quite the hit. What You Want,” a two-hour seminar on what to send publishers, After the traffic nightmare on Friday afternoon I had vowed for both art and manuscript proposals. Robert J. Sawyer (with spe - never to return to Charlotte for another con but by Sunday morning cial guest Edo Van Belkom) presented his own solo panel, “Ask a I was making plans for next year. ConCarolinas does a fantastic job Professional Anything,” a chance to find out what really goes into of mixing Literary and Media programming and also provides a making a professional writing career. “Making a Reading Work” was large, well-attended Gaming Room—a great recipe for bringing in a my own two-hour workshop where readings, character voices and younger generation of fans. MP foreign accents were explored. With all the workshops and panels, you would think Canadians Westercon 58 are a serious bunch. Hardly. They also know how to have fun with July 1-4 their SF/F, as was evident with “Chicks in Chain Mail,” a panel Calgary, Alberta, Canada about the popularity of kick-ass women in the genre. This panel had http://calgaryin2005.org/ everything going for it—it was recorded for broadcast on Canadian For people who have never attended radio with seven panelists, and I was the only guy on the panel… a Westercon, this is a “floating” con and I had to go to the bathroom. sponsored by the Los Angeles Science With the first question, “What are the panelists opinions of Fantasy Society but hosted by various wearing chain mail bras and, if you have, how do you deal with the fan groups along the west coast, chafing?” I knew this was going to be one wacky ride. The micro - southwest and northwest regions. phone eventually reached me and I finally uttered, “I’m the only guy Let’s get the unpleasantries out of the way first. Out of the three here, I’m feeling very insecure right now, and I have to pee. Hello,

September 2005 7 Canada!” With a standing-room-only attendance, this panel was a start to the party to break in our two OnSpec shot glasses. The real hoot, reminding me why this topic is a favorite of mine at cons. Dragon’s Den beverage of choice: Captain Morgan’s 1680, the drink Canadian Scapers were a VERY strong presence at Westercon. I of pirates and privateers everywhere. These may have been double- was invited to participate on “ Farscape: Beyond the Miniseries,” pro - shot glasses to the land-locked Calgarians, but we “maritime oppor - vided I prepared materials for this panel. This lead-in presentation to tunists” regarded them as singles… all night long. a widescreen showing of Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars was run by Now what made this particular—completely off-the-cuff—party Nicola Wood of FarscapeCanada.com. I’m glad I invested time and crazy was not that we were encouraging people to drink our leftover funds in creating a sampler DVD of Farscape clips as Nicola gave a alcohol, but that the Canadians were bringing contributions to a PowerPoint presentation of carefully constructed battle plans, rang - party that was supposed to rid us of all alcohol. Valerie and I did ing from donations to libraries to support for the upcoming Joss what only good pirates could do: we shot whatever people brought Whedon epic, Serenity. us. There was “Sour Puss,” a raspberry liquor. Then some peach Finally, Westercon 58 hosted the most book premieres I had ever schnapps. The rum. And finally, a pink tequila mix called Baja Rosa. seen at a weekend convention. On Friday, Danita Maslan launched After being caught by digital cameras performing the Tragically her debut eco-thriller Rogue Harvest, the latest title from Robert J. White Boy Dance, I retired to the balcony, again with the guys, Sawyer Books. EDGE Publishing launched two books on Sunday: enjoying a good Cuban stogie and a beer. I honestly didn’t think this Courtesan Prince, by Lynda Williams and Tesseracts Nine, edited by party could get any odder after some party guests spontaneously Nalo Hopkinson and Geoff Ryman. It was on Saturday when began performing yoga… Dragon Moon held the biggest launch: Legacy of Morevi, Not Your …until two words passed from party guest to party guest: Pool Father’s Horseman, and Dominion. Dragon Moon’s launch also had Party. The Westin’s pool was still open after midnight and some of the largest number of authors in attendance, with the most collective our Dragon Moon regulars were in the mood for a good soaking. miles travelled: Valerie Griswold-Ford (from New Hampshire), Lai The room cleared pretty quickly and I bravely slipped into my black Zhao (Hong Kong), Michael R. Mennenga (Arizona), Evo Terra Speedos [Ah! TMI—ed.] and headed out for some hot tub fun. (also Arizona), J.Y.T. Kennedy (Alberta) and me (Virginia). The The post-con crash lasted about a week, and that was on account Canadian fans exceeded my expectations in their turnout. of Westercon being nothing less than incredible. An amazing time, To celebrate this incredible launch, Dragon Moon authors had beyond any other con experience I’ve known. TM reserved a suite for the weekend, dubbing it “The Dragon’s Den.” We rearranged the furniture so we could feature a bar, plenty of space for Trinoc*coN guests and a direct route to the bathroom. In one corner of the room, July 15-17 we had our books for sale and along the wall we had on display the Durham, NC covers of Dragon Moon titles. The iTunes Party Shuffle was fired up http://www.trinoc-con.org/ with my eclectic Science Fiction/Fantasy mix (inspired by Nth Trinoc is a con of polar opposites. Degree’ s own party mix) and the party was underway. We only had There was really cool but poorly one rule for this celebration: If you spew, you clean it up and you pay organized programming, and enthu - for any damages. That’s it. A beautiful Dragon Moon Press cake—that siastic but small attendance and a we forgot to serve at the book launch—was finally cut and served to friendly, but mostly invisible staff. the guests, many of whom had attended our premiere. By eleven Programming was great, the o’clock (and as it was Calgary, the sun was just setting!) the suite was panels I attended were interesting and the critter contest (create a in full swing. Outside on the balcony, my roommates Val and Lai costume for a plush bear and then enter it in the Masquerade) was shot me narrow-eyed looks as Michael R. Mennenga and I indulged too cute. They also had a lot of crafty stuff for people to do. The in cigars. I gave myself an hour tops for my energy as I had done three major problem was finding out where it was. There was no schedule panels, manned the Dragon Moon booth and premiered a book. I in the programming book, just boards in front of each room was running on empty and was hoping to make it to midnight. announcing the schedule. This meant you had to run to each board 2 a.m. That was when the last guest left, the signs on the door to find out where any event was. Even guests seemed to have trouble came down, and the room was cleaned. All three of us were stunned figuring out where they were supposed to be. at the amount of leftover alcohol, so we agreed that maybe another Attendance was down, even the bartender for the hotel com - party was in order for the following night. mented on this. I understand that they had some competition so After another day of panels, we decided not to wait for a formal maybe a new date is in order. Or maybe it’s still fallout from their

8 Nth Degree last date change. LibertyCon 18 The staff, the ones I saw, were all very friendly. A couple of times July 29-31 when I asked where an event was held, I was referred to a board. Chattanooga, TN Politely. But it wasn’t really the info I wanted. Moderators in the http://www.libertycon.org/ panels were knowledgeable and knew when to go with debate and This may have been one of the most when to move on and the people helping with the craft panels were confused (and confusing) cons I’ve ever very hands on and available. Unfortunately, there was no way to dis - attended. Personally, I suspect that there cern who was on staff and who wasn’t. I only saw three people all was a secret second con going on behind weekend that I could identify as staff members and this was mostly closed doors that nobody was telling me because they were standing behind the registration desk. about. If not, then this was a seriously bi-polar convention. All this combined to cause a fair amount of frustration for peo - For starters, we were unable to get a room in the convention ple. I saw (and heard) many people searching frantically for where hotel because it was already booked up (several weeks in advance). they needed to be. So I went in expecting a sizable event and instead found a small little The Gaming Room… Gaming was well attended, more so then relaxacon with maybe 200 people in attendance; they were only sold the rest of the convention. Trinoc used to be a mostly literary con out because the hotel was so small—it didn’t even have a restaurant but is now drawing more gamers. Not a bad thing, but they may or bar. No problem there though… Some of my favorite cons are want to start billing themselves as a gaming convention. I walked relaxacons and I’d heard people raving about Liberty in the past. through the room a couple of times and discovered that the Gaming Second sign of trouble—$45 for a badge! Pretty steep for a small Dealers were in the Gaming Room. Logical, right? I do game but not con. I quickly headed to the con suite to see what my $45 was paying at cons and had I not been searching for the Dealer’s Room (which for. This is where the extremes first raised their ugly head. Food pret - wasn’t to my mind very clearly marked) I would never have found ty much consisted of a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a them. Fortunately, it turned out that Gaming Dealers were the peo - bowl of chips. However, there were two kegs of beer. Bonus! Sadly, ple who had what we wanted to buy. it was one Coors product and one Miller product—neither of which I did get some face time with Joe Lansdale, one of my all time appealed to my inner beer snob. But I can’t blame them for that. favorite writers and perhaps the coolest guy in the universe, so I had Weirdness abounded on the guest list too: Fred Pohl, Timothy a great con. Zahn and Robert Asprin (great guests!). In contrast though, the Artist No one was angry or disappointed, just… somber. Trinoc has so GoH was Beth Willinger who (despite some nice work in the Art much going for it, a bright, creative staff, a good central location and Show) I had never heard of. I had been looking forward to hearing great taste in guests. If they work out a couple of what are really Pohl speak but he was only scheduled for two panels—one on Sunday minor bugs, this will be a wonderful little con. CH (which I missed because of the long drive home) and one on Saturday. The Saturday panel was on writing a story outline. Frankly, I had Fantasci 4 enough of that lecture in high school, surely they could have come up July 23 with something better for one of science fiction’s Grand Masters. Chesapeake, VA There was a poolside cookout on Saturday afternoon that stayed http://www.chesapeake.lib.va.us/Fantasci2005/Schedule.htm pretty crowded but the menu of hot dogs, hamburgers, sausages, and Fantasci (a.k.a The Little Con That Could) is a small one-day con chili didn’t appeal to my non-beef-eating diet. I was beginning to feel that’s open to the public. With many cons shrinking these days, this like someone had planned this con simply to snub me. is something of a brilliant idea. Fantasci is held in the Chesapeake I was told that the Saturday night room parties would make up Public Library. “Public” of course translates to free. No attendance for my disillusionment. No such luck. The two room parties that I fees and free dealer’s tables. What you end up with is a wide spec - found were small and poorly attended and didn’t make much of an trum of attendees. There were a lot of familiar faces from local fan - attempt to entertain. Even the Baen Barflies were slow that night. dom but there were even more people there had never been to a sci- It’s hard to say, bottom-line, that this was a bad con. Granted, I fi con before. And the mundanes seemed to be having a great time! didn’t find much to entertain myself (a first) but everyone around me There was a single track of programming, lots of authors (many was having a blast. It felt like I had stumbled into a family reunion of them local) and several fan groups ( Star Trek, Star Wars and that I hadn’t been invited to. So, what’s the bottom-line? Great con StarGate, among others). It turned out to be a really fun day. for the regulars. Otherwise, bring LOTS of friends and plan your There are rumors that they may go to two days next year. MP own room party. MP

September 2005 9 S PINE B ENDER Michael D. Pederson

Crystal Soldier, by Sharon Lee and Steve Miller, Meisha Shockingly, I only found one of the stories not to my liking and of Merlin Publishing, 336 pp. I’m always thrilled whenever I find the remaining nine tales I’d judge four or five of them to be instant myself at the same con as Sharon and Steve. I was even more thrilled classics. “The Dead Bear Witness” by James Chambers comes the to receive a review copy of their new book, Crystal Soldier, from closest to a Romero-style zombie tale. Set in a prison it injects a Meisha Merlin. And let me tell you, this book did not disappoint. unique point of view where (much like Day of the Dead ) the zombies Taking place in the vividly rich Liaden Universe of Lee and Miller are less important than how the people deal with them. Chambers is (this is actually a prequel), Soldier puts our heroes in quite a sticky also represented by the somewhat humorous, often insightful, and situation. The evil sheriekas (a self-evolved offshoot of humanity downright creepy “Ressurection House.” C.J. Henderson has two that are bent on destroying all traces of their human forbears) are stories here as well, one of which, “Crime and Authority,” closes the collapsing (decrystallizing) entire solar systems out of existence. M. book on a nicely cynical note. The most daring story though (possi - Jela Granthor’s Guard—a genetically enhanced soldier—is sent out bly the boldest and most intriguing story I’ve read in a while) is to discover how the enemy is destroying planet after planet, and Robert M. Price’s “The Righteous Rise.” Telling the Resurrection as hopefully find a way to stop them. Accidentally thrown together a zombie story could have gone wrong a million different ways but with Cantra yos’Phelium—a pilot dealing in gray market goods Price’s take on it is both intelligent and classy without treading into with a shady past—along with a batch-grown servant and Jela’s tele - blatant sacrilege. Not only is this book a must-own for the hard core pathic potted plant (I’m new to this universe myself but gather that zombie fans but I’d go so far as to say that it may be the new defin - this race of trees play a larger part in the story) our heroes are chased itive zombie collection. across the war-torn Rim, trying to stay one-step ahead of the sheriekas. Sharply written, this sci-fi adventure is sure to please The Fantasy Writer’s Companion, edited by Tee Morris long-time Liaden fans and isn’t the least bit daunting to newcomers. and Valerie Griswold-Ford, Dragon Moon Press, 280 pp. Soldier is Book One of a two-part series and ends on a bit of a Yes, a sequel to The Complete Guide To Writing Fantasy. I won’t dwell cliffhanger. I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see how things on the silliness though. Instead let’s cut to the chase… How’s the turn out. book? It’s not the all-purpose reference guide that’s going to revolu - tionize the world of fantasy writing, but then it’s not supposed to be. The Dead Walk!, edited by Vincent Sneed, Die Monster What it is is entertaining and pretty darned useful. Like the Die! Books, 229 pp. Ever since George Romero first showed us Complete Guide, the Companion is mostly written by authors from that zombies could be more than mere shambling corpses—that they the world of small press publishing, however they’ve added some are, in fact, a malleable metaphor that can be twisted to reflect dif - more recognizable names this time around like Wen Spencer and ferent aspects of society—we’ve seen that they can be scary, silly, Will McDermott. funny and socially relevant. Die Monster Die! Books’ The Dead The Companion ’s thirteen chapters cover a wide range of subjects Walk! brings us ten new zombie stories that cover the wide range of including “Developing Alternative Magic Systems ,” “Writing for subject matter that we’ve come to expect from the walking dead. RPG and Media Tie-Ins” and “Writing Fantasy for the Young

10 Nth Degree Reader .” With a different author tackling each chapter there’s a wide Circle Books; 256 pp. How best to rate an anthology? Is it as bad range in the quality of advice being given. Most chapters give a use - as its worst story or as good as its best? If I were to stick to those ful (if somewhat general) view of their topics, a few only skim the extremes then this is either a 256-page piece of kindling or one of the surface, and a couple are downright inspirational to the aspiring fan - best anthologies of the year. (Which of those do you think they’ll tasy writer. Evo Terra’s section on “Herbalism in Fantasy” provides quote for their website?) Like everything else though the truth falls great tips on creating and naming plants and also gives a thorough somewhere in the middle. laundry list of plants and herbs and how they can be used. And Lai This is an odd bunch of stories. Danielle Ackley-McPhail runs Zhao’s chapter on “Worldbuilding in Asian Cultures” is an in-depth an online writers group and that’s where most of the stories original - (32 pages) and indispensable starting point for anyone that wants to ly came from. Needless to say, it’s a rather uneven collection—there write an Asian-themed fantasy. are a few stories that should have had another draft or two before Overall, the book has a tendency to cater more to its authors ever seeing the light of day—but there are enough quality stories to than its readers—allowing them to reference their own (often make it a worthwhile purchase. Heck, the three(!) stories from John obscure) works rather than citing more common fantasy writers C. Wright are reason enough to go out and buy it. Wright’s got a (Tolkien, Brooks, Moorcock) when giving examples—but if you’re beautifully clear style that reminds me some of Niven’s best short fic - looking to “add flavor” to your writing this is a great source for tion. Other highlights include humorous bits like Darrell new seasonings. Schweitzer’s “Kvetchula” and C.J. Henderson’s “Wezleski to the Rescue”—whining vampires and wacky scientists, respectively; Steve It’s Only Temporary, by Eric Shapiro, Permuted Press, Johnson’s brilliantly clever H.P. Lovecraft-meets-E.E. “Doc” Smith 100 pp. The world is going to end in less than ten hours. A pastiche, “The Doom That Came To Necropolis”; the tense science giant meteor will crash into the planet and eliminate all life as we fiction culture clash of James Chambers’ “Law of the Kuzzi” and the know it. How do you spend your final hours? It’s Only Temporary beautiful historical fantasy “The Poppet” from L. Jagi Lamplighter. begins with our hero, Sean, realizing that he needs to be with his So, for a small-press anthology, this is a fun collection with a little ex-girlfriend and ends just before the doomsday event. This is a something for everyone. brilliantly conceived apocalyptic vision that will shock, terrify and amaze you. Sean’s simple three-hour drive across the state to Schism: Part One of Triad, by Catherine Asaro, Tor reunite with his lost love becomes a powerful day-long journey of Books, 395 pp. For the few people that haven’t had the joy of dis - redemption. Along the way he experiences and witnesses the covering Catherine Asaro yet, here’s the perfect novel for you to absolute extremes (good and bad) that the human animal is capa - start with. Schism returns to the Saga of the Skolian Empire that ble of. The narrative is starkly personal and (at times) deeply dis - Asaro has been developing for ten books now. Fans that have read turbing. Shapiro pulls of the incredible feat of making you the previous nine books will be thrilled to learn some more of the believe that the world is ending without ever once showing you back story of the Ruby Dynasty. Newcomers will discover this a the actual event. Sheer artistry. thrilling place to begin—the start of the war with the Euban (slave) Traders and the introduction of the Eldrinson family to Imperial No Longer Dreams: An Anthology of Horror, affairs. Earlier books in the series have been a bit more physics Fantasy, and Science Fiction; edited by Danielle Ackley- intensive but this one keeps things a little simpler, more space opera McPhail, L. Jagi Lamplighter, Lee Hillman, Jeff Lyman; Lite than hard SF, but there is enough here to please fans of both sub-

September 2005 11 genres. As usual though, it’s Asaro’s strong characterizations and ZINE REVIEWS tense but realistic family dynamics—along with a touch of For people looking to get more involved in fandom, there is no better way romance—that makes this such a pleasing read. Set primarily on the (outside of cons) to experience what fandom is all about than through pre-industrial world of the Eldrinson family, there’s even an element fanzines. Send for some of the zines here and see for yourself… to appeal to fantasy fans. This is easily a book that I wouldn’t hesi - tate to recommend to anybody. Asaro’s already won a Nebula for Alexiad, Vol. 4 No. 2 and 3; Lisa & Joseph Major; one of the books in this series and I predict that it’s only a matter of 1409 Christy Avenue; Louisville, KY 40204-2040; time before she has a Hugo to keep it company. Lois McMaster [email protected]; “The Usual” or $1 back issues/$10 Bujold had better watch her back. 1 yr. sub. Lots and lots of reviews (plenty of interesting non-fiction and/or non-genre books that I wish I had the time to read). Plus edito - Wilding Nights, by Lee Killough, Meisha Merlin Publishing, rial, fanzine listings, comics and LoCs. Lots of recognizable fan names 353 pp. Starting with this issue, we’re adding occassional reviews are involved. I confess, I always turn straight to the candy bar reviews. from Jack Jeffers. Jack is a long-time zine contributor whose work has been seen in such great zines as Memphen and the Hugo and Nebula Claims Department, Issues Two & Three; Christopher award-winning Lan’s Lantern. Please welcome him aboard… J. Garcia; 1401 N. Shoreline Blvd.; Mountain View, CA; Meisha Merlin is a fairly new kid on the block, having started [email protected]. Okay, Mr. Garcia is everywhere these publishing in 1996. Even so, they have a highly regarded stable of days. He’s now joined the ranks of print fanzine publishers and he’s off writers at this time: Robert Asprin, Jody Lynn Nye, Janny Wurts, to a great start. The look of Claims Department is generic Word layout Sharon Lee and Steve Miller to mention just a few. Their catalogue but nice color copying. Content varies depending on what Chris has lists four titles by Killough. been up to. CD2 is mostly about a trip to Sonoma wine country Killough writes mysteries about cops, however most of her main including a restaurant he ate at, the music he listened to (Metallica), characters are not exactly run of the mill. The primary character in the book he read that weekend (Dangerous Visions), and the movie he Wilding Nights, Allison Goodnight, a homicide detective, has a saw while he was there (House of Wax, the original version). CD3 fol - secret—she and her whole family are werewolves—and her latest lows another trip with it’s accompanying entertainments: Carlsbad, case results in a big problem. The mutilated victim shows strong evi - Tenacious D, A Knight’s Tale, and The Shockwave Rider. dence of having been done in by a rogue werewolf, who might be a member of her own clan. The secret of her family and her species Fanzine Fanatique; Winter 2004/Spring 2005; requires that she solve this case without revealing to humans—espe - Keith & Rosemary Walker; 6 Vine Street; Lancaster, LA1 cially cop humans—what the killer is. That revelation could spark 4UF, England; Trade. Comments on over forty fanzines that the humans’ racial memory of her kind and result in another persecution editors had received. I was quite happy to find this in my mail, a in a long history of persecutions. very useful zine list. Allison is aided by others of her clan who are cops, but hindered by a new partner, Zane Kerr, who at first is excited to be working Instant Message #750-756; NESFA; P.O. Box 809; with the detective with the highest successful conviction rate on the Framingham, MA 01701-0809; www.nesfa.org; bi-weekly; force. Allison’s secretive conduct arouses his suspicions, especially free to members. Club business for the New England Science Fiction when he realizes that the physical description of the suspect matches Association. Particularly useful for its updates on what NESFA Press Allison’s and many of her relatives. has in the pipeline. Issue #753 has the current NESFA roster, #756 has Wilding Nights is a well-paced read and will keep your attention the Boskone 43 budget. riveted as the plot unfolds. Werewolves in this story are not all pred - ators, but not quite benefactors. They just want to co-exist along - Knarley Knews, Issues 111 & 112; Parody Publishers; side humans. Killough has created a species of “volke ,” and thought Henry and Letha Welch; 1525 16th Ave.; Grafton, WI through the process far enough to be able to describe the “shift” 53024-2017; [email protected]; bi-monthly; $1.50 or trade from their human guise to their true nature so clearly that you can or contributions. All true zine fans should already be fully aware of picture it in your mind. You find yourself siding with the “Were” this one. Updates from the Welches; articles from Gene Stewart, and rooting for their success. This is the first book I have read by Rodney Leighton, Alex Slate, E.B. Frohvet and others; plus many Killough, but I will be looking for her name on the bookshelves pages of LOCs and zine reviews. Henry and Letha are also hosting from now on. JJ this year’s Ditto Con.

12 Nth Degree Nice Distinctions #6 & #9; Arthur D. Hlavaty; 206 Do you like comics? Valentine St.; Yonkers, NY 10704-1814; [email protected]; http://www.livejournal.com/users/supergee/; quarterly; $1, Well, so do we! trade or LOC. Brief political musings, book reviews, memorials, and other assorted jottings. The Comic Book Novice Zine Solar System #7 & #8; Timelike Line Productions, presented by WGBB 1240 and M.F.C. Studios Inc.; Yul Tolbert; P.O. Box 02222; Detroit, MI 48202-9998; Every Thursday night [email protected]; http://timeliketoons.tripod.com/zss; quarterly; $2. Digest-sized with editorial, comics and alt-culture. WGBB 1240AM Books and zines to be considered for review in this column should be sent to 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST Michael D. Pederson; 8600 Queensmere Place #2; Richmond, VA 23294. A lively call-in talk show with guests, professionals from the field, Do you like things that go bump in the night? Do you like to read about ghosts and delight? and the occasional contest. Olivia MacAllister, Who Are You? is a ghost mystery set in Maine. Two young cousins, Bobby and Noel, set out to find all they can about their ancestor, Olivia MacAllister, who is a ghost in their Uncle Eb’s home 631-955-1240 or 516-955-1240 where they are staying for the summer. Listen, call, tell your friends. To order, send a check for $12.95 (plus $2 postage) to: Celine Rose Mariotti 411 Coran Avenue Shelton, CT 06484 Now online at Make checks payable to Celine Rose Mariotti. www.am1240wgbb.com or listen anytime CT residents add 6% sales tax. Email me at [email protected] for more info on my freelance writing at http://www.cosmiclandscapes.com and critiquing — specializing in children’s stories/short stories too.

An endless war A repressive regime A land where no one trusts his neighbor A rumor of underground resistance A simmering hope of liberation A handful of disaffected teenagers A radical preacher A stolen cache of weapons

These are the explosive ingredients of the new science fiction urban thriller DISCARDED FACES by Steve Cross

Available at amazon.com & barnesandnoble.com

For more information, visit www.geocities.com/stevcrss September 2005 13 FACES OF FANDOM C HRISTOPHER J. G ARCIA

Over the past few years, Chris Garcia has been a frequent contributor to Nth Degree. He’s written short stories (as Johnny Eponymous), con reviews and gaming reviews for us but now we’re letting him turn the white hot spotlight of public scrutiny on himself… How To Be A Toastmaster: My BayCon 2005 Experience BayCon is the Bay Area’s largest, oldest and most established SF Convention. Having attended the first one, and many off and on over the last 22 years, it’s my home convention and the event that really brought me fully into fandom after a lay-off of several years. For some reason, they chose me to act as their Toastmaster, running the “Meet the Guests” event and the Masquerade. If you’ve ever been to a large convention, you know that these events can be huge and facing the task of leading them is daunting. I got a chance to chat with last year’s Toastmistress, Esther Friesner, and 1999 and 2000 Toastmaster Kent Brewster, who both gave me great pointers. As a public service, I created a set of rules that any - one who is asked to be a Toastmaster should follow.

Be memorable and make sure folks fit with the theme “BayCon: The Con You Can’t Refuse” (Sonny can find you among the crowd. Corleone couldn’t make it tonight. There was some hold-up at a toll Friday, noon. I’d arrived nice and early, ready to get down to the fun booth) and pointing out that Jay and I had once been confused for of the con. There was already a maddening crowd. A great many one another, which is easy to understand as we could both be folks were milling around, and for some reason, there were far more described as Big Guys with beards and Hawaiian shirts. We worked young folks than usual. In the 1980s, BayCon was the home to a the room and Chase Masterson of Deep Space Nine fame performed large crowd of young fans who would go on to become important to a few jazzy numbers as the place opened up for the Charity Casino. fandom over-all and this was like being back in those days. By the A late night playing blackjack and generally having a good time. end of the con, there were more attendees than any BayCon I’d ever been to and one of the largest BayCons ever. As I walked through the halls, I ran into Jay Lake (Writer Guest of Honor, 2004 Campbell Award Winner and respected anthology editor), Frank Wu (Artist Guest of Honor and 2004 Hugo winner), Andy Trembley and Kevin Roche (Fan Guests of Honor and well- known party hosts) and a number of other folks, all wearing fezzes made of purple. They had one for me. The rest of the convention, I walked around with my purple fez worn proudly.

Be funny, but not offensive or out of control. As the day went on, we were introduced to a small crowd at the Opening Ceremonies. This was simple and small and no one had anything to say, though I did manage to do a spit-take for the delight of some (OK, mostly myself). After the Opening Ceremony, I had to prepare for the Meet the Guests. If you’ve only been to the Meet the Pros events on the East Coast you probably have no idea why I was freaking out. Meet the Guests is an event where all the guests talk for a minute or two and the Toastmaster runs the show in front of 500 or so attendees. This year, the number was likely a bit larger, as there were no free tables and lit - tle standing room left. As I had to run the thing, I was panicking, though not nearly as badly as I should have been. I walked up and introduced everyone, saying funny things that Illustration by Michael D. Pederson 14 Nth Degree Always show up early and ready to perform. word to rhyme with Knave. I announced it as such and then she With all the gambling we did, and a few late-night parties, I was came and started singing. Started singing Ave Maria. I then realized dragging on the way to the early morning panels. BayCon’s best my mistake and nearly exploded. I was trying to fight down hyster - panel, “5 Dollars, a Time Machine and a Dead Fish,” was a morning ical laughter at how moronic I had been. I then grabbed the mic after panel and featured hilarious and brutal ideas of how to change his - she was done and said “that was Number 7, Ave” rhyming with tory for the funnier using those three things. This was the first year agave. I was saved and made it through the rest of the night without I wasn’t on the panel, but the guys did a great job. incident. The winner was an excellent kaiju entry with two monsters Sadly, I was nearly asleep the entire day. When I made it to the that ended up dancing to SpongeBob SquarePants. panel about MonkeyCon (the convention which is always held next The night ended early, I was in bed by midnight, and preparing year), I was tired, but we all managed to have a good panel. I even for my heaviest day of programming. got to make Jay Lake sing for the entire audience. The other panels that were going on were really well-attended, with the young fans Try to interact with as who had shown up all coming to more panels and getting more and many attendees as possible. more involved. They weren’t just there for the parties. The only On Sunday, the place was jumping. It seemed even more fans were downside was that all the Guests of Honor were scheduled against arriving every minute. I went to my panels and found myself one another. That’s kinda tough, as we were all friends, so we would stopped every few minutes. have liked to have attended each others panels. “What’s with the fez?” they’d ask. “I’ll tell you later” I’d respond in my best reference to Buckaroo Remember: The audience wants to like you! Bonzai. The next thing I had to worry about was the Masquerade. As The Sunday panels were very good, including a panel on “How Toastmaster, I was given the option of MCing it, and for some fool to Be a Villain” which included my dear pal Neil Zawacki who wrote reason, I said yes. We gathered beforehand with all the judges for the book How to Be a Villain. This was a fun panel with lots of the dinner and I was seated next to a lovely young thing who was work - audience coming through with great funny comments. ing as the runner for the judges. We chatted and ate and then I I had to take a nap and ended up watching an MST3K Fanfilm headed into the Green Room, where I got to see the costumes on the in-room BayCon TV Network. I realized that I had nothing before anyone else. to do for the next few hours, so I settled in. Gen, the darling girl - And they were magnificent. friend, and Evelyn, her precocious daughter, came over and we had A brilliant British Admiral’s costume, an amazingly cute Ewok room service and watched Shrek which they projected on the side of and mermaid, and the best was Jem & The Holograms along with the hotel. It was nice, and once Evelyn got to sleep, I managed to fin - Sinergy from the 1980’s cartoon. All of them were great. I went ish reading the National Fantasy Fan Federation Handbook and a few about making sure I had everything right so I wouldn’t look like an fanzines that managed to make their way into my hands. idiot when I was doing the announcing. Monday was a few panels, a few lunches, a nice chat with Frank and Jay, and that was that. This BayCon was younger, more vibrant, Make sure you dress for respect. faster, harder-to-follow, bigger, louder, and more terrifying than any I wore my tux with a Hawaiian shirt underneath. When it came time other I’ve been to. Having been Toastmaster, I’m ready to do it again, to go out there, I introduced myself as Entrant #0: Christopher J. though maybe at a smaller con this time. The Guests of Honor for Garcia as Evening Wear Jay Lake. Jay, who was in the audience, said BayCon were the friendliest I’ve ever seen. I used to say that Steven that I did a better than passable job. Brust was #1 for inviting folks into his room for whiskey and singing at Conjecture, but watching Jay mingle and break it down on the Make sure you go over every name you’ll dance floor, Frank talking to everyone, Kevin and Andy greeting have to announce to avoid messing them up. everyone and making sure that folks were having a good time, these I managed to get every name correct. Even the weird Celtic ones. guys easily took the cake. Heck, there was even a Jwlhyfer that I had to work out, and I And I’m still recovering. managed it. But I should have put more into learning the names of the Above all, don't swear entries. You see, there was a word on my sheet for announcing that into a live microphone. read A-V-E. Well, it’s obvious to me that you would pronounce that And this is the only one of my rules I managed not to break at all.

September 2005 15 Time To Kill

by Jim Rudnick Ever have one of those days when nothing seems to go your way? Jim Rudnick makes his Nth Degree debut with our second time travel story in four years.

t was on East Franklin that he once again visited the same coffee shook his head, no sense in getting riled up with my lowest of the shop that had a little outdoor patio attached, though he knew sit - low category, he thought. I’m a Level Fiver and would always be just Iting outside would be a bit cool here in Chapel Hill for a mid - that… relegated to make teensy modifications to the time line… end morning in May. Getting in line was no problem, he thought too, as of story. he had almost an hour to await the Level Five nexus point. This one “Imagine, Janice,” the twentyish woman ahead of him said to her better work, because I’m getting a bit tired of this project, he said to friend, “I missed that putt on the 17th by almost a foot and Harry himself, as he moved up in line customer by customer. He ordered never even blinked. Not even a raised eyebrow on the next tee either. one of those double/doubles as he’d learned to love the quaint taste Now that’s what I call husband material,” she offered as she patted of too much sugar and outside on the patio he folded his frame into her hair on the side nearest to Butter and he thought he even saw it the cheap white plastic patio chair that looked like it’d not hold a move under all that shellac-like hairspray. soul. And he waited, as the job required, noting that it was now “A real catch, I’ve always said,” her companion drawled. “How exactly 10:46 EST:2009. much did he lose?” Thirteenth, he thought, I came thirteenth in my class at KodakU The woman under the hair smiled and noted calmly, “More than and here I am twenty years later, a 42-year-old second-rate TimeOps $5k, he said later in the lounge but he really is going to be quite rich agent. One Butter Smith, proud Rochester grad who hadn’t done as you know. Options and all… and his firm will go public in the next well as the promise he’d shown those twenty plus years ago. Stupid, quarter, so we’ll be even richer.” She moved up as she gloated over he thought, maybe I should never have picked this line of work. Or, her man and ordered her own morning brew and then slid sideways maybe if things had worked out a bit better on previous TimeOps to allow Butter to place his own order. He noticed that their conver - Projects, then maybe I’d be a lot damn higher in the department by sation never wavered; they discussed that same marriage candidate now—and not working my way back up the ladder under Davidson. with scalpel-like precision, weighing the victim’s destiny. Sounds Goddamn timeline anyways, ponderous and slow to change, and nothing like my own marriage, he thought; course nowadays we’re talk about inertia! Christ, he thought, you could change a Level One not as close as we used to be. Sort of comfy, I’d guess, Butter nexus and things still took their sweet time to change in reply. thought, though he had to give his father-in-law Jim Jr. the benefit He sipped from his coffee again, and smiled at the youngsters of the doubt. Those Rennies were all a little clingy and it’s only been who walked by, backpacks full of books as they made their way west in the past few years that Kelly had drifted away a bit… perhaps and over to the University. Kelly would say that these are the future more than a bit Butter added to himself. In this case though, Butter of mankind; she always said things like that when she talked about smiled as he realized that the poor fellow was going to be married no kids. We had wanted some, he realized, at some point. But not matter what, as he moved back again outside to his patio seat in now… not in years he remembered, as he pondered his marriage for front of the parade of students who moved westward still. an instant, then quickly changed mental gears and looked around Not long now, he thought… I’m about to change a lunch date. once more. Of course it was attempt number what? Oh, it was the fourth and Chapel Hill housed not only reputable higher educational out - that damn lunch was still on. He shook his head; these Level Fives lets, but it was part of the Research Triangle in North Carolina that were usually not much trouble, he thought to himself even if they had the world’s largest concentration of research firms and leading presented the best way to change the timeline with the least amount edge companies in all kinds of sciences. Butter knew that, and he of fallout. He knew that from the twenty plus years he’d been in the knew that he was here to make a change that would affect his own TimeOps department. He swept his foot along the patio stones present more than 150 years in the future. Hadn’t been able to move beneath his chair, like he was clearing away something tiny, and the timeline yet, he said a bit grudgingly to himself, perhaps because sighed. He’d been sent back time and time again, to make a change he was still saddled with only being allowed to handle Level Five to whatever Level Five nexus point had been identified. He’d never nexus points—but maybe this time, as he swallowed his final mouth - been assigned even a Level Four never mind the ultimate Level One; fuls of coffee and got up to get one more of those sweet drinks. He the ones that meant a sure change of timeline—and they were used

16 Nth Degree so very seldom because they were so drastic. They were for the this parallel universe theory all the possible outcomes actually do department stars; those Agents who somehow had leapfrogged out occur, each in their own universe. All these universes then run par - of the lower levels and now were the ones who made changes that allel to each other. He remembered how his training officer at affected all mankind. But not me, Butter thought. Nope, nothing KodakU had drummed that into his head: “One timeline, one out - but Fives… endless Fives… Fives that usually entailed matters of come means no paradox” had been the mantra. The best minds and minor consequence. And never a Level One like a murder or assas - the super-computers in TimeOps did the work of assessing where to sination. They were sure to change the timeline right away, then make a change based on directives from the board at Dyno/Biotech. much more drastically in the decades and centuries that followed. They figured and they computed and they sent back agents to make One person is suddenly excised and no longer becomes the that change all for the betterment of the company. And with each President or a Premier or a CEO or even a Pope. Perhaps one of global pharma and their own TimeOps department battling for them would discover a cure for a disease—no more. Level One changes to better allow them to be profitable, to steal away patents nexus points were to be used only in dire emergencies, and Butter and emerge at the top of the pharma heap, the timeline was often had never been given such an assignment. No, he sighed, I’m always undergoing constant changes in the parallel universes… just like in going to be a Level Five, the little pissant ones that matter some… this case. The Board had commanded TimeOps to purge the patent but not much. I wonder, he thought, what it’d be like to actually get that Bristol-Roche had earned four years previously—a complicated a Level One… vaccine that would defeat the common cold virus. It had taken his He pondered that as he watched the sunlit bodies of the proces - own company the full four years since for Logistics to work out sion of students in front of him walking to classes a few blocks away. where the best nexus points were to delete that patent from the time - If only I was better, or even if I was only seen as better, he thought line and Butter had been given the Level Five assignment. Such a as he compromised with his conscience, then I might be closer to the huge patent, and such a lowly change, Butter thought. They could top, instead of his boss’ favorite whipping boy. Davidson… damn have sent him back and told him just to assassinate the researcher the him. And he mistakenly gulped in a still hot mouthful of coffee and day before he discovered the vaccine data. But a Level One like that burned the roof of his mouth as he awaited his time to move. He stood out in the timeline far too much and it would have only been quickly sucked in a further gulp of air and swam his tongue around a matter of a few days before Bristol-Roche would have sent back the cooling brew and swallowed. Hot sweet coffee, how quaint he their own TimeOps agent to prevent just that and save their patent grunted, unlike everything in my time—all lukewarm and un-spiced 150 plus years in the future. and very very bland. Yup, Butter said to himself, I’m to find the proper nexus point At 11:15, he tossed his empty cup into the garbage bin at the and to change it using my own wits and talents and expertise. Make entrance to the patio, and joined the lines of students as they walked a change, then check on our chronograph PDA to see if things have towards the University. Around him were pieces of conversations changed… if the ripple of the thing that we change has moved down about Dunne and Hawking, on red blood cells and RNA, on post- through time to our own time. If it’s changed, dial home on the PDA modern expressionism and Jung. He was listening as he too moved Calendar and get back to where we live in time. If not, then rethink west and took his role as a listener seriously; these students were the your nexus from the list of Fives, and give it another try—or pick a hope of the world—maybe Kelly was right after all. He passed a dry brand new one. TimeOps loved the operatives who were gone a mat - cleaners and another bistro patio filled with students in the morning ter of minutes on a Project; I’ve been gone almost a week he sighed, sunshine and caught earfuls of chat about uridine rich RNA and and had three failures already. That would mean a report as thick as how atomic collisions in solids was not a workable thesis. Here and my wrist, Butter thought, and that means I’m not climbing up the there the second story apartments had hanging planters and columns ladder, again. Gotta get out of these damn Level Fives he said to him - of ivy and he saw purple hearts and daisy cascades. As he walked, sur - self as he snorted in the early May sunshine and took the first left rounded by more and more students, he realized that not one of down the side street beside the NeuroSciences Hospital at the edge of them knew what time would bring. the University campus and he was now alone and away from the wash Even being in the TimeOps department at Dyno/Biotech gave of students. Wish the damn timeline would just “give” a little, he you no advantage. The timeline was a single constant; make a change thought as he ran his fingers through his middle-aged scalp and killed in one year, and it rippled down for all time. With quantum physics time near the commercial delivery ramps down to the loading docks. there is inherent uncertainty and many possible outcomes can occur He picked at a hangnail for a moment more and then reached but to us only one appears to occur, in other words, in a universe in his pocket for his notepad and mechanical pencil. Yellow, he “parallel” to our own, Butter had been taught over and over. Within thought, very professional, as he also moved a few business cards

September 2005 17 from his suit coat pocket to his front breast pocket. Wardrobe had Simone and her extra classes on selling came to mind as he used his nixed the hanky, he remembered, as most men in this time didn’t best selling smile and totally focused on Doris. He pulled at the roof use them anymore. Enjoyed the 1950s a lot more, he thought, and of his mouth with his tongue, trying to swab away the sting. that pointed hanky did look nice as it peeked out of the pocket. Still “I am sorry,” she stated, a small frown appearing on her face, waiting, he sighed and continued to watch the parade of students “but I have a luncheon date today. If you would care to make an before him. appointment up in the office, I am sure that someone there can At exactly 11:40, he retraced his steps back to East Franklin, and accommodate your request to interview our Dr. Armstrong.” She walked along the front of the big gray southern granite fronted hos - tilted her head ever so slightly and having stopped, she again made pital. At the wide front walkway, he paused to take in the scene that to move around him. lay before him. Up the block, approaching cabs were pulling into the “Now if you will excuse me…” queue to pick up the fares that were coming down from the front “Um… Please, just a moment, Ms. Martin. You see it is not the doors and walkway to take them away for lunch perhaps. And com - new Head of Bioresearch that I wish to see—it’s you!” Butter ing down the wide front walkway were those fares, leaving the increased the intensity of his smile and tried to look as earnest as pos - Hospital and heading out into the city itself. Traffic was fairly dense, sible, while still swabbing with his tongue. he thought, and listened to the occasional horn as a taxi pulled out “Me? What on earth for—Mr. Adamson, wasn’t it? Why would into the brisk traffic. you want to talk to me, the office manager?” She looked a bit sur - Across the street, undergrads poured from the Physical Sciences prised, Butter noted… but she did stop moving again. Building after late morning classes; never liked that line of study, “Because, Ms. Martin, as the office manager, you know more Butter thought. Taking classes in “How to Blend-In” and “100 Years about the runnings of your department—at least that’s how I see of Slang” had been much more fun and were basic survival for a it—than all the scientists in the building. And that’s the angle that I TimeOps grad. He grinned suddenly, Prof. Deepak and his curricu - want to cover in my first story for the Post; a sort of ‘woman behind lum on Wardrobe Basics always said to dress down instead of up in the man’ kind of angle.” Butter smiled again and showed his teeth any setting. That way, the people around you paid little if any atten - nicely. Smiles sell, his training officer had reminded him daily. tion—you looked poor. People looked away from those around them Her left hand came up to smooth her sweater at the collar while who were less fortunate and did so out of their own guilt at having she looked at him and tentatively smiled back. Her indecision was more. Dress up and you’ll be the center of attention and that meant noted, but he knew that he should offer only one more inducement. that you were under observation all the time. People would make “So… perhaps you could call and make your apologies and we’d note of you and that might mean a nexus failure. Butter kept grin - not be disturbed. I really think this’d be a winner of a piece for the ning and realized that his worn blue suit and white shirt looked Sunday supplement section too!” Butter waited as the Level Five about average here in this milieu. Wardrobe had done fine this time, nexus point spun on the choice that she’d make. He felt that from except he didn’t much like the red striped tie and yes, he did miss the his position he could feel the timeline pause for a heartbeat… as he pointed hanky. He moved slightly off to the side of the flow of pas - awaited his outcome. sengers, and watched the front door till he saw his quarry. “Sorry, not today,” Doris suddenly said, but smiled winningly. “I Doris Martin was a short woman, of approximately thirty-one believe that the story you wish to do would definitely be a good one; years of age, wearing a very nice spring rose dress and a light green but at the same time, I do have a previous date for lunch. And a lady sweater. Her gait down the walkway was short in stride but strong on never stands up a good friend in that kind of situation. Should you purpose and she was beginning to arc around him quite quickly. wish to call me later this afternoon or at your convenience, then I “Umm… Ms. Martin? Aren’t you Doris Martin?” Butter asked shall make myself available to you at that time. And I do thank you and slid directly into her path, holding out a business card. for the nice thoughts, Mr. Adamson. I will expect you call; till then “Yes,” she stated quickly and eyed him and the card with that perhaps,” and she again curled around Butter and strode on to join stare that usually accompanies being accosted on the street. “And you the queue of passengers awaiting their taxis. are…?” she countered, as her feet continued to side-step around him. Missed it, he thought emptily, and distractedly looked around “Max Adamson, Ms. Martin. I’m the new science reporter over him as he stuffed the pad and pencil back into his left hand suit at the Chapel Hill Post —you know the big daily? And I wonder if I pocket. Over on the east side wing of the front lawn was a nice sit - might have a word or two with you about your work?” Butter used ting area of park benches and hordes of bougainvillaea flowers and his best “radio-voice” to try and sell the interview to her; nicely mod - shrub gardens. He made his way to the only free bench and sat heav - ulated tones and the urging in his voice was noticeable too. Professor ily at one end, watching as his nexus drove away in the BlueDot cab

18 Nth Degree towards La Hacienda Restaurant a few miles away. How in hell did agent couldn’t get the job done via any of their assigned nexus level that not work out for me? he wondered, as he pulled out the black interrupts, they were to return back to their present and report. chronograph PDA from his inside jacket pocket? Retro designed to Standard operating procedure. SOP. But not the best for the agent’s look just like a Palm, he quickly grabbed the stylus from the sheath career, Butter knew as his complexion began to sallow. Not the time and flipped open the lid as he started it up. His password entered, he to countenance anything else but SOP, he staunchly remembered his logged into the Biotech Encyclopedia, and watched as his pre-saved training officer pounding that into this skull during his one-year analysis came up onscreen. If this just-missed nexus had worked, internship. When the flow won’t change, report back. then the summary of patents from his own time of 2159 should be It was supposed to be that simple. Butter sighed, and almost changed… and they were not. He swore to himself silently; had it wished he was at that lunch himself. There, right about now, Doris worked, then the Bristol-Roche patent of 2155 would not have been and her college roommate, Susan Snowden, would be having those granted. His own company would instead have that patent, and the pseudo-Mexican tortilla chips coupled with those icky frozen mar - hundred-year lock on profits from the cure for the common cold. garitas, and chatting about their jobs and their marriage prospects. But not yet, he sighed, what had he done wrong on this one? Who Later, Butter knew, Doris would report that the Bioresearch knew that a lunch date was carved in stone and trying to appeal to Department would be hiring in the late summer for a research asso - the nexus designate’s ego wouldn’t work. Davidson is going to go ciates job—and say, would Susan’s brother Jake be interested? Jake ballistic, he thought. would, Butter knew, and he would get along too well with the new Fact is, Butter thought in the warm noon sunshine, this was fail - head of the lab, the young chemistry prodigy, Dr. Bill Armstrong. In ure number four. He’d already tried to rent every cab he could, just two short years, Armstrong would be wooed away from the which was failure number one as Doris Martin had just asked her University to head up the same area for NovoLilley as they and the hospital courier for that ride, so he’d jumped back in the timeline via rest of the global pharma companies climbed the slope to two trillion his chronograph PDA and tried again from his list of Level Five dollars in another few years. And when he left, he would be taking interrupts from TimeOps Central. Next, he’d tried to sabotage the Jake with him… and together the two of them would eventually do lunch itself by getting hired at the restaurant as a waiter, had worked research down a once-considered dead end on viral diseases cures. there for two realtime days of taco salads and stuffed burritos… and Oh, they wouldn’t find it, but their research in 2026 would be had spilled the tortilla soup and made quite a nuisance out of himself archived and then used in 2155 to apply for the patent that would on try number two which had also failed. cure the common cold. This was the little nugget of a Level Five that Thinking back now, he realized that Kelly had never liked Logistics had found and that was the timeline that Butter was hand - Mexican food, while truth be known, he once had liked it very cuffed to change. But change wasn’t occurring when it should… and much. But with her griping about trying such a dinner each time he that worried Butter even more. He sat for awhile and enjoyed the mentioned it, they never ended up eating such fare. Too bad, he movement of people around him in the noontime sun as they bus - thought. I should have insisted. He shrugged again, and nursed the tled off towards their own lunches and meetings and whatever. Nice roof of his mouth with his moist tongue as traffic moved past him time, he thought as he turned his eyes back to the list of his assigned out on the street. Level Fives. What next? he wondered. Oh yes, he’d rewound the timeline and had gone back to try to get the local board of health to close the * *** * restaurant due to food poisoning that he stated he’d suffered, to no avail. That one had also taken some realtime days wherein he’d writ - The NovoLilley Christmas party was boring. With growing liability ten the editor of the Chapel Hill Post and paraded out front with a issues and the rush to litigate from employees as a sure way to get placard and generally been a nuisance. All in vain. Not one thing rich quick, most companies had opted in the past twenty years or so he’d come up with would cancel that luncheon date. In fact, it for the retreat-styled party, especially for those companies who’d dawned on Butter then in the North Carolina sunshine that maybe done very well in the past few years. NovoLilley was one of them and this change couldn’t be accomplished through the Level Five nexus had bought a hundred rooms for the full weekend for their research that he’d been assigned. The timeline was resisting strongly, turning staff who were now up on the mezzanine beginning to party the back efforts that Butter knew should have worked—had worked night away. Three years ago, back in 2021, it had taken up that new many times before on other Level Fives. The realization made him Formosa styled management strategy of creating modules of experts breathe shallowly, his pulse made his temple start to pound while his in their various fields and moving them well away from global head - leg began to bounce in sympathetic movement. When a TimeOps quarters. Here, in Mansfield, Ohio, Dr. Bill Armstrong was the

September 2005 19 chemist research head of the brand new NovoLilley Research Center. tongue again swabbed the roof of his mouth burned just a few hours Butter grabbed another handful of pretzels from the table at the ago, this is quite the way to live your life; being able to control time lobby bar in front of him. Would love a beer, Butter thought as he yet not wanting any surprises that the one timeline could bring. He eyed the Rolling Rock posters on the wall of the 4 would have to check after this Level Four nexus, hopefully it’d be Seasons/EconoLodge and tried to be happy with his soda water and enough. It was now 9:10 pm and Butter brought out a tool disguised lemon mocktail. to look like a fountain pen, and took off the cap. Looking around, he spied a few partiers moving away from the Judicial spraying of the contents over the interior of the electron - elevators and towards the stairs leading up to the mezzanine level, ic controllers would mean that the gas would turn to gel, immedi - and noted the time, 8:21 pm EST:2024. He sighed, then had ately clogging all the electronic circuits. The fact that the gel would another swallow and chomped on the pretzels some more. evaporate in a few minutes, would mean that anybody who checked Newscasts from his tabletop were still broadcasting about the quake the box, would see nothing—everything would look fine. All the cir - up on the Moon; it shook Verdant City so bad, they said the bubble cuits were live, all the chips and resistors did what they should under was still flexing. Clip after clip of the whole event crawled along; test conditions. It was just that before those signals got to the con - Butter put the bowl of pretzels right over the Comcast, and awaited trollers on all of the hotel’s four elevators, they would dissipate and 9:12 pm. Still waiting, he reminded himself, and continued to no stream of electrons would be received to make the elevator cars watch the movement of NovoLilley employees up the stairs and into work. The cars would freeze then at their current position, and no the party room, the live band now doing a medley of ancient rock one could repair the electronics in the panels. Only the single on- ’n roll. Odd sounding stuff indeed. duty technician from the elevator company could do that and only He ordered another soda water and lemon mocktail, and await - by replacing every board—and Butter knew that tonight at 9:11 pm, ed breaking his first ever TimeOps Assignment. He would proceed the closest elevator man was already doing just that down in with an unplanned nexus interrupt, a Level Four and he’d do it on Columbus at the Children’s Hospital. The Level Four nexus provid - his own. In fact, Butter thought, as he swirled around the lemon ed that opportunity, and Butter had just driven up from there. And wedge deep in the tall Collins glass, in fact, I’ve proved that the that repairman would be making repairs down there till at least 2:00 Level Fives I was assigned aren’t doing the job. No one, even am EST so there’d be no service here for at least five hours. Looks Davidson, he reasoned could find fault with my rationale. I believe like there’s an outbreak of mysterious elevator failures, Butter said that totally, he tried to convince himself over and over and thought, nervously to himself as he counted down the last few seconds till you know, there’s really no big deal in choosing a Level Four on my own. 9:11 pm EST and at exactly that moment, he sprayed the interior of I know what it entails and hey, it was only a small change in plans. But the panel, shut it, then left the room and headed for the parking lot. a necessary one to any TimeOps member who wanted to continue Job done in this time, he thought as he walked over to his to climb that ladder. Hertz/Tilden rental, smiling at what must be happening back at the And then it was 9:00 pm, and Butter paid his tab and walked out 4 Seasons/EconoLodge. And now to await the outcome of this Level to the elevator area, and then clandestinely around the corner to the Four nexus interrupt. Employees Only door. Slipping it from his inside jacket pocket, he Up on the mid-16th level, Dr. Bill Armstrong grinned at his sec - donned the lanyard and badge that identified him as one of the retary, as he stumbled at the sudden stop. Security team, entered the door quickly, then took an immediate left “Whoops!” he slurred. down a long gray cinder block corridor and then a right to a set of “Whoops nothing, you prankster. You turn that back on,” the red fire doors. Opening one, he moved persistently down the three blonde said as she lifted her glass in a toast. “I know you want to get flights of stairs to the sub-basement level and then out the fire door right to the dance, don’t you?” she said with a slight flutter of her to the electrical room a few feet down the faintly lit deserted corri - eyelashes. Mandy wasn’t the brightest secretary Bill had ever had, but dor. The lock on the door posed no problems either, Butter noted, she was surely the best looking, Bill thought as he nodded. Maybe not when you’re using technology from more than 150 years in the we could dance right here, maybe except down below in the banquet future as he moved his PDA back to his pocket, opened the double room his wife awaited. locked door and then quickly closed it behind him. He moved with “Uh… sure… but… wait a sec…” Bill said as he tried more but - precision over to the elevator controls and noted that it was exactly tons, juggling his cocktail from hand to hand and still the elevator 9:04. Might as well wait it out, Butter thought, as if time really didn’t move. “Maybe there’s a phone,” he said as he tried to pry open means anything anymore to anyone in TimeOps. I can turn it back the In Case of Emergency panel. an hour or a million years or ahead the same. He sighed, as his No phone was encountered, but there was a Net terminal, and

20 Nth Degree Bill typed in HELP right away. The brick cursor flashed, kept flash - research at Tompkins/Kliner in Regina, Saskatchewan. He grinned ing… then an answer appeared on screen. broadly as he tabbed into the Biotech Encyclopedia, and watched as Hello Elevator Occupants. We are aware that the elevators have all his pre-saved analysis came up… and yes! There it was, the patents just suddenly stopped working and invite you to remain calm. Please for the common cold vaccine were now held by his own company; realize that we are attempting to fix the problem immediately, and hope Bristol-Roche couldn’t even be found in the abstract. Job accom - to have the elevators back up and running in just a few minutes. For plished, he said to himself, but still that nagging thought would not your pleasure, while we run our diagnostics, you may now use the ter - go away. Level Four nexus interrupts involved—well, they involved minal to call any persons that you wish to notify of this problem, regular death in a way. Now, there would be no Armstrong children; four Comcharges will be at our expense. Please do not hesitate to contact us lives… for a patent. All in a day’s work, he thought, though if again should there be a medical emergency. Thank you… 4 pressed, Butter realized, he would have to admit that he had over - Seasons/EconoLodge Management. stepped his bounds. But hey, he thought, that’s what TimeOps was Mandy sniffled, “Immediately? That’s good, right Bill?” and she all about, right? Hadn’t he just followed his orders… sort of? Now looked around for a place to sit down, which she did right then in Armstrong would not find that research, and would move off into the corner by simply sliding to the carpeted floor. obscurity, and his own company Dyno/Biotech would reap the prof - “Uhh… I guess,” Bill answered and sat down clumsily beside her. its for a hundred years from that patent. All in a day’s work. “Lets see,” he said as Mandy giggled, “I’ve got my own cocktail and you’ve got yours, and then there’s the flask in my pocket we just * *** * retrieved for later when they cut off the bar again this year. We’re fine… I mean, how long can this take?” It seemed like only minutes ago, Butter thought, that I was more Mandy grinned at him, and said, “So, a toast—till they get than a hundred years back and sitting in the bright Carolina sun - things up and running again!” shine. In fact, he was just a few minutes removed from the past And Bill nodded, “Sure enough, let’s party!” as he put his arm assignment since he’d used the chronograph PDA to come back to around her shoulders. his own time. And no sooner than he arrived in the login room, than Down in the banquet room at the table where the place cards his PDA alarm went off—Davidson wanted to see him immediately. marked the company executives, Sarah Armstrong fumed. Bill had He made short work of checking in his PDA and hustled off to the gone up again with that woman and been gone now for almost fif - agent locker rooms where he quickly wiped the depilatory on, then teen minutes. How long does it take, she stared angrily at her off and gargled with a mouth freshener. Damn sugar in those coffees Mimosa, to pick up a refill for his flask? I should have known, she a few hours ago had sweetened more than the drink, he thought. said, I should have gone with him, instead of that witch. She took Now most of our nutritional sources come from the yeast farms; a long pull at the drink, and then listened even more angrily as she sugar substitute included. No after taste and no smell either… but was told the news that the elevators were all shut down and Bill and that morning coffee had been actually quite nice, he grinned. Time that woman were most likely stuck in one. This better end soon, to hike up the levels he thought, as he left the staff washrooms and Sarah began to fume, or there’ll be trouble. Especially in this awful rode up the escalator four floors. town in the middle of Ohio for god’s sake. Big trouble for him Once there, he worked his way beyond staff, past Logistics and because this isn’t the first time, she said to herself, as she toyed with Control and Continuity, until he was at his boss’ secretary’s desk. the new necklace Bill had given her as an early Christmas present. “Nancy, how are you today?” he asked politely, straightening his Not long, he doesn’t have long, she thought, till I walk out of tie and giving her a big smile. here… and make him pay for this. She swilled the balance of her “Fine, Butter. Do I understand a reprimand is in order?” she drink in her fluted glass, and began tapping her foot under the answered back without looking up, reading still from the mid-air white table-clothed table and waited. Not long… or this is over. All display and using her data-glove to make changes that he couldn’t see of it, she thought, thinking suddenly of his stock options and pen - to the data in front of her, not awaiting any answer either, he knew. sion plan cash guarantees. “Not really. My assignment was successful,” he said as he Butter logged in again on his PDA and searched the local papers straightened his shabby suit jacket and squared away his posture. for the Armstrong surname… and noted that in 2025, in the “He’s waiting… go right in,” she stated, then she ignored him again. Mansfield News-Messenger, a notice offered a short marriage congrat - TimeOps agents he thought, they all ignore us. We’re the teams ulations to a Bill and Mandy Armstrong. In 2026, another notice that change the world, and everyone ignores us because they don’t mentioned that Bill had left NovoLilley, and was now head of want us prying into their own futures. Sad, he thought and marched

September 2005 21 through the door that irised ahead and behind him. a son named James who never had his own son named James Jr. “What the hell, Smith?” Davidson said, and looked over from his Does that name ring a bell, Smith?” Davidson was now beaming at desk in his amber glass walled office, “Who gave you the authority Butter, his arms propping up his body as he leaned towards him, his to escalate your interrupt to a Level Four? Did you go all through tie just touching his walnut desk. that second-rate college of yours and learn nothing?” Davidson was Butter winced as his leg began to beat on the boss’s chair, his an average-sized man, but felt that rolling up his sleeves and standing scorched mouth now dry as bone. behind his desk while he yelled at his underlings made him look big - “Uh…” Butter was able to cough out. ger. And it did, Butter realized, as he swallowed. “That’s right, Smith. Your choice of the nexus to interrupt means “But as you know, boss, the changes that I was to make actually that you’ve just ended five generations of Armstrong progeny up to did happen,” Butter stated calmly as he slowly sat on the straight- our own time. And one of them was your own father-in-law, James backed chair that sat alone in front of his department head’s desk. Rennie Jr.—which also means that when you go home tonight there “Yes, I know that you did accomplish the task that you were sent will be no dinner on the table because the little woman was never back on,” said Davidson who looked like he was starting to smirk, born. Serves you right, I’d say, and Logistics means for this to stay as “but at what cost long term? How do we know that your choice of it is too.” Davidson’s wide smile was plastered on his face as he slowly which nexus to interrupt will be best for us all?” sank into the big leather chair behind him. Butter squirmed a bit, then composed himself. Davidson then shrugged as he spat out his closing, “And while I “Boss, you explained quite clearly to me almost four years ago, didn’t agree, the company has given you a year off. Drop by Logistics that the patent that we were trying to dissolve, could prove to be the and pick out a timeline vacation. See you back here tomorrow at best thing for the company in quite awhile. That we were to suc - 8:00 am sharp. And don’t put on any weight either… it costs enough ceed, and not to fail and lastly, I remember you promising that if we already to charge those dang PDAs.” did succeed, I’d climb back into your ‘good books’ and get that The back of Butter’s suit coat was now slick with sweat; his leg vacation owed to me.” Butter nodded to make his point again as he still beat to its own drummer and his eyes were blurry. had learned to make use of the plural “we” when he talked to “Oh, stay away from the onlines too… you know the rules,” Davidson. No sense in making this a personal issue when in fact it Davidson mouthed as his attention turned back to the desktop and was a company one. he sank into his big executive chair as he watched the company’s for - Davidson’s mouth worked slowly, Butter saw, as he pushed out tunes once again in the desktop Comcast. Behind him and through each syllable and word; he was clearly smirking now. And a smug the amber windows, the towers of New York City gleamed in the department head was not a good thing, Butter thought as he sudden - fading sunshine and ribbons and ranks of aircars flitted by as Butter ly felt ill feelings start to rise. backed out, sweat stains hidden. “Fine, Smith. I do see results. You know by now, that our own Butter rode the escalator down in a depressed frame of mind. viral patents have been granted and Bristol-Roche has not answered He’d ended his own wife’s ancestors’ lives which meant that he was at all, though we all know that they’ll be trying. I’ll send the file over alone. Kelly had never been born. The paradox of time travel was to Continuity; now it’s Milliken’s problem.” simple; change something in your past, and the future changes with “Fine, boss. And when do I get that vacation?” He tentatively it regardless of what universe you were in. He had made the mistake smiled back at Davidson, and nodded again. He wouldn’t let his of not knowing his future, before changing his past, and he was mind wander towards that sinking feeling. alone as a result. He pondered that further—then turned his atten - “Um… well, that’s no problem, Smith. Your picking out your tion to the timeline vacation he’d earned. One year of peace some - own nexus means that the whole of the timeline has changed, par - where in time… perhaps back to the Renaissance again, but that ticularly that the Armstrong’s divorce meant no children. And I was so hard on his hygiene needs. Or maybe a thousand years ahead know that you did look ahead to see what the consequences of that to the Rigel moon resort… or even Eta Cassiopeia and it’s twin yel - would be, and found nothing. Except, you didn’t look far enough. low and orange stars and those wondrous double sunsets. No mat - The Armstrongs never had a daughter named Sarah, who didn’t have ter, he’d take the year and then click his PDA and return to tomor - a daughter of her own called Janice. Now Janice got into some trou - row at 8:00 am and go out again on another TimeOps assignment. bles in her early years, and had a few children with various men, After all, it was his job he reasoned as he exited the building and none of whom stuck around either from what Logistics has been able climbed aboard a sonic to James Bay and home. In twenty minutes, to turn up. Except for the fact that one of them, Nancy, who married I’ll have a bath and watch some Comcast show and then retire for some guy named Rennie, was never born either… so she never had the night, alone.

22 Nth Degree Darkness by Julian Gibson

I have summoned the darkness of the sky and of the night, And the darkness of the shadow when it beckons, And the darkness of a beast and its beauty. And the darkness for which wind alone cries the tune. And the darkness of the hills before the cries of old rekindle. And the darkness of the enchanted When its soul flees from its chains. And I say: For the death Of what light is it sacrificed? A scream from its eyes haunts an angel As silence cloaks its chants: And we are legends in the testament of the timeless – Captured by fate.

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September 2005 23 Fourth Floor Monitor by Mike Ripley

This is Mike’s second appearance in Nth Degree. He tells us that he had been thinking about the relationship between health care and insurance companies and decided to “take that concept to the nth degree.”

lana sat in the crowded waiting room with her legs clamped Efficiently and without notice or fanfare, Elana walked to the tightly together, avoiding contact with the people in neighbor - door, and entered the long hallway. This section of the hospital main - Eing chairs. They were strangers, all of them, and even though tained a quiet that seemed to be marred only by shoes on the incredi - their lives had collided in perfect unison with hers, she did not feel bly glowing waxed tile floor. Nurses shoes, those of rubber sole, akin to them. She did not like their purpose. Therefore, she didn’t orchestrated an ensemble of music that became the last to ever be like her own. heard by those dying at the far end of this very same hall. Elana fol - The spartanly decorated room managed to accomplish several lowed the young nurse with blonde hair and baritone feet. She could important tasks. First, it kept people that were basically well away see three more women staggered down the hall ahead of them, each from the ill while certain procedures were being performed. Elana with their own sound, their unique tone and strangely unified had learned to appreciate this function, and welcomed the opportu - cadence. She followed in silence, so as to not interrupt the music that nity to leave her father’s side when the staff entered to change a cal - may be heard by someone beyond one of these doors for the final time. ibration or realign an implant. Second, it allowed family and friends At the last room on the left, before the double doors that lead of the invalids to pass the time, and time had become the most away from this ward, those that lead finally away, she stopped and important commodity. Finally, these attempts to pass time, to pass pushed the door only partway open. Room four hundred held her much of it, and have it all seem very worthwhile were always made father, held he whom she had waited for, he who now passed pre - under the pretense of waiting. cious time. She stood, hesitant, for what seemed like hours and con - Elana rose slowly and quietly from her chair. She looked again at tinued to listen to the death march being orchestrated endlessly on the picture of a city that had puzzled her since she first entered the the glazed tiles behind her, and tried to see what conditions lay ahead room seven long weeks ago. The unknown city, at least unknown to through the nearly open door. She braced herself, as always, slowly Elana, beamed with vitality and action from the park near its center pushed on the heavy wooden door until it retreated into the room, to the schools, office buildings, and roadways that made up its struc - and finally, she entered. ture. The paint used for the picture shone of bright colors, and filled Standing next to her father’s bed, Elana found the familiar face every inch of the canvas with vivid images of something that seemed that belonged to Alan Pendergrass, the lead prognosticator, the deci - so out of place here in this waiting room. Its shine created a perfect sion maker, the man with a plan. He turned to her as she walked into picture of life. the room, and said, “Hello.”

24 Nth Degree The word “hello” sounds like it has been bellowed from a canyon “Yes. I said I understand, but I don’t have to like it.” when a person has heard no one speak in several hours. It shatters the “No. I mean, he really just ran out. The meter shows zero.” frame of mind, and destroys the attempted artistry being displayed Mr. Pendergrass began to disconnect his instruments, remove his by otherwise talentless musicians with their shoes and the buffed company’s implants, and unplug the meter. The Longchamp Health floor in the nearby hall. It beacons to Elana a message, a hint, almost Insurance Agency had other customers to assist. His services would a requirement that she must in turn, speak. be needed immediately down this very same hall. “How is he doing?” She asks the question that she has asked a “My God. Where is the doctor?” asked Elana. hundred times before, and avoids looking to the monitor by which “The doctor has nothing to do with this,” replied Pendergrass. she could ascertain her own answer. “Your father’s insurance ran out, his money ran out. You know that.” “He has come down to his final ten,” Mr. Pendergrass answers “I know, but this isn’t right.” while looking at his own shoes, leather shoes, expensive shoes. “I have the final say in these matters on this floor. The doctors “They will go fast then?” She asks of his remaining lot, not of would drag these things out. They would offer procedure after pro - his health. cedure to sell their wares.” “I’m afraid so. We will need to collect the instruments right away. “Yes, but what if they did some good?” Please pardon that I stay with you at his side.” “Who would pay?” Alan Pendergrass got in the final word, and “Is there nothing I can do?” Elana asks. left the room pushing his meter stand, and carrying the instruments “We have searched his records. I’m very sorry, but there is noth - that had monitored Elana’s father since his accident. ing any of us can do. Do not blame yourself. He has run out. You Elana sat in the light blue plastic-covered chair at the foot of her knew he would eventually.” father’s bed. Her legs were clamped tightly together, and her feet “Yes, but the doctors said that given enough time, he could heal, were planted on the shining surface of the floor below to keep her he would heal.” from falling over. She could no longer hear her father’s faint breath, “Time. If only time could be dealt out like water. I’m sorry. He no longer see any movement of the sheets atop his torso, no longer just ran out.” sense his presence in the room. He was gone.

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September 2005 25 Solitary Confinement

by Matthew King I used to be an ardent backpacker and I find something strangely comforting in this story. This is Matthew’s first appearance in Nth Degree.

ickle Gap Road is a cold, lonely path wandering along the companies when it comes to stuff like that.” western face of Rogers Bald in the heart of the Blue Ridge There was another long pause before Todd spoke again. “Fine. PMountains. Solitude is a valuable and dwindling asset in the Have it in my e-mail by—” hills, and it was the last thing Rogers Bald had left to give. Only a Ned hung up the phone and grinned. He leafed through a stack handful of hikers ever made it to the trailhead. Those that did rarely of CDs on his keyboard and picked out the one marked “Ver. 5.1.” fought through the tangled webs of blueberry bushes that had over - Below it was a time stamp. Twenty-eight minutes total work, Ned grown much of the path. A few made it past, and so the stories of its gloated to himself. Another personal record. He dropped the CD in treacherous outcroppings and challenging slope made their way his computer’s drive and pre-posted an e-mail for Monday, five thir - through the hiking circles. Ned Parker first read about it on the ty-five p.m. With any luck, he’d still be out in the middle of nowhere Pisgah Hikers’ Message Board and immediately made plans for a by then, enjoying the lack of company and toasting to Todd’s ulcer. trip. He dialed his manager’s number while grabbing his pre-packed bag and tent from the closet. *** *** *** “Todd Martin speaking.” “Todd. It’s Ned.” Once he’d exited the highway and made his way onto the fire roads, “Ned? Funny, Frank and I were just wondering when we’d talk Ned understood why everyone on the board had hiked their way in to you again. We thought we might’ve been sending paychecks to an instead of taking a car. The potholes were more like miniature empty house.” canyons. When he wasn’t dodging them, he was veering from one “Yeah.” Ned rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m heading out for the side of the road to the other to avoid fallen trees. There were some weekend.” decent-sized logs around most of them, but Ned decided against “Ned, it’s Thursday.” stopping to pick some up. Fires, even small ones, tended to attract “I know what day it is.” people, and suffering through idle chit-chat with some hillbilly was “Then you also know we work until Friday at five-thirty.” the last thing he wanted to do. “You do. I work when I want to.” Ned finally made it to the trailhead, and walked for the better There was a scratching noise on the other end like a hand muf - part of an hour without hearing so much as a squirrel running fling the receiver. A few seconds later, Ned heard his boss sigh heav - through the leaves. It was better than heaven. Just knowing that he ily. “Do you have to, Ned? You know we need that new version out had the place to himself brought a wry grin to his face. Ned rounded by next week.” the corner of the first switchback and stopped mid-stride. His smile “Yeah, I do have to. And stop worrying about the next version. faded. He looked up to see a dark silhouette staring down at him It’ll get out on time and be just as crappy as usual, my stuff with - from a rock outcropping. It was a man, judging by his build, but his standing. I’ll give it to you by Monday.” face was obscured by the shadows of the stone rocks jutting out from “Monday? Jesus, Ned. Do you realize the bind you’re putting the mountainside. He sat motionless with one arm hanging over his us in?” bent knee and the other holding a longneck pipe. Ned yawned dramatically. “Nice day for a walk.” The man spoke in an even, elegant tone. “Why you little—” It was . Suddenly the afternoon didn’t seem so promising thanks “Careful, Todd,” Ned replied. “I’d hate to have Frank hear what - to this. What was he anyway? A British tourist? Sounded like it. He ever you were about to say to me.” considered walking straight by but the man spoke again before he “You may scare Frank, but you don’t scare me.” could move. “Really? Then you won’t mind if I give Microsoft a call to let “Camping on the summit tonight?” them know my services have just become available. Maybe while “Yep.” we’re chatting we can also talk about some licensing issues I might “Going at it alone, I like that. There’s something to be said for have information on. I hear they’re especially hard on other software solitude, is there not?”

26 Nth Degree “If you say so.” he tried to figure out what it was he was looking at. Maybe that guy The man took a short drag from his pipe and blew away the was a crazy philanthropist after all, one of those who take trail smoke in a twisting column. He studied Ned briefly. “Do you pray?” magic to the extreme. If it was jewelry it was worth a fortune! He “Do I what?” flipped the box over and caught the object in his hand, immediately “Do you pray?” the man repeated. running his fingers over the shape. He stopped soon after and drift - Ned looked around in bewilderment. “No,” he said, finally dis - ed into a stare. missing the question with a snort. “Why would I?” “A doorknob,” he said absently. Ned couldn’t tell for sure, but he thought he saw a smile appear It couldn’t be. He held it up to the light again and looked at the on the man’s face. Another plume of smoke billowed around his sil - crystal dome, which had been geometrically cut to look like a dia - houette and then the man leaned over to pick something out from mond, but had a tapering bottom that connected to a short metal the shadows of the rock. rod. There was no doubt about it. The dumb prick had managed to “Hey! Watch it!” Ned jumped back as a wrapped package landed get his hopes up over a cheap glass doorknob of all things. on the trail at his feet. “Goddamn people!” he yelled. He reared back and threw the The man rose and turned his back to Ned to walk up the slope. piece of garbage as hard as he could into the mud. He moved with an uncommon gracefulness across the rock face and Ned felt like he was drowning in a sea of mindless halfwits. disappeared into the thick growth of rhododendron. Humanity was a fucking menace. His facial muscles tightened to What in the hell was that? Ned stood in the center of the trail, too the point where his ears started to ring. Ned kicked the head off confused to move. He looked down at his feet, half expecting the of a dandelion and out of the corner of his eye spotted the door - package to not be there, but there it was. Ned looked around again knob sticking up out of the dirt. Which way had the bastard gone? to make sure he was alone before bending down to pick it up. The East? Close enough. He reached down to grab the knob and throw sides of it barely stretched over his palm. He held it for a moment it as far as he could toward the eastern ridge, but the doorknob trying to decide if he should keep it or chuck it into the woods. It didn’t move. couldn’t hurt to hold onto it, he finally decided, and what would be What the… Ned yanked at it again and again, but the glass so bad about opening it once he got to the top? It could be the carrot wouldn’t budge. He kicked it with his heel. Still nothing. He stared that put him back on schedule for the summit. at it with a scowl until an odd thought crossed his mind. This is nuts, Once he’d reached the top and staked his tent, Ned sat on a he told himself, but he couldn’t move his fingers away. Instead, they stump and sipped his tea as he stared at the bulging right pocket of tightened, and he felt the sharp lines of the glass dig into his palm. his backpack. The square outline of the box was silhouetted against Ned turned the knob. the last of the remaining sunlight, almost screaming at him to take Click! it out. He took another sip and repeated to himself all the reasons The sharpness of the sound scared him and he jumped back - he’d come up with to throw the box away, but he knew what would wards, crawling away like a crab that’d fallen on its back. His chest happen in the end. His curiosity would get the better of him. After was pounding so hard he heard it in his ears. Ned shook it off and one final chug of oolong, he threw the remainder in the grass and got to his feet. To his right was the tent and he picked up the Mag stood up to grab his pack. light he’d stationed just outside the door. He scanned his surround - The box had a certain unbalanced weight to it that he hadn’t ings again, half-expecting the man in the suit to be watching him noticed earlier when he’d picked it up. There was no bow, no mark - from the treeline. He saw nothing but shadows. Get a hold of yourself, ings to indicate it was any sort of strange present, it simply had a for chrissake, Ned thought. He’s gone. plain gray paper covering with seams sealed by a drop of wax. He After a few deep breaths, Ned forced his hand to grasp the knob shook it once more and the contents clinked against the side of the again. He turned the glass clockwise and kept his hand there even box. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s see what you’ve got.” after the Click! The pounding in his chest returned; Ned ignored it. Ned broke the seal and the paper unfurled and fell to the He tugged the knob lightly at first, then with a little more force. ground. He eyed the simple wooden box left in his palm. It was Nothing. The dirt never moved. Ned cursed in disgust and hung his smooth and undecorated on all sides except for a small button just head. He was a fool. Even so, he did hear a click, didn’t he? He beneath its top. Ned pushed it in, expecting a spring-loaded plastic couldn’t have imagined that. Ned’s eyes flashed over where he knelt snake to pop out, but the lid merely cracked open a hair. He lifted and the answer hit him. He moved his legs away from the doorknob. it open and turned his back to the sunset to shed light on the inside. If it was a door, he was sitting right on top of it. Ned tried the handle It sparkled in the dying light, quickening his heart for a moment as again and this time felt the earth beneath it move. A small crack

September 2005 27 appeared in the dirt and spread outward to form a rectangular out - *** *** *** line. Ned pulled harder and the door gave way finally pulling it back far enough until it fell against the ground with a deep thud! A match - The hard ground rattled his rib cage as he fell face-first into a clump ing glass doorknob stuck out on the other side, amidst a sea of grass of thick, waxy vegetation. It was like swimming in a bowl of fake roots. Ned got to his feet and looked into the hole. fruit. He couldn’t see much because of the darkness, but this world The chasm appeared to be empty, but on second look he could didn’t seem all too different from his own. He was high up, he could make out faint pinpoints of light. There were a few scattered around tell that from the cold air, and there were trees scattered about him, the black void, each one flickering as though they were— although their size dwarfed anything he’d ever seen, including the “Stars,” he muttered aloud. Yes! He was looking at stars, no Sequoias out in California. They were probably twice that size, doubt about it. There was a breeze also, a cold one that drifted up maybe three times even. out of the doorway and tickled the hairs on his legs. It was sweet- Ned felt a sudden urge to check the doorway behind him. He smelling, like he imagined untouched air pushed himself up and checked the ground would be. Ned’s mind overflowed with behind him. The doorway was gone! Ned curiosity. He picked up a small rock off the fell to his knees and frantically searched ground and held his arm out over the mid - Ned felt like he was through the grass with his hands, looking dle to drop it in. It disappeared into the floating in air, but the for the doorknob. His programming darkness for a moment and then resur - instincts told him to always have a rollback faced, bouncing in the air before falling feeling lasted only a mechanism built in. Now his had failed. through the doorway again. Ned watched The growing halo of light in the skies ahead it fall back and forth until he stuck out his fleeting second as his cast a crimson haze over the grass. He hand to catch it and break the cycle. caught something shimmer briefly out of Gravity, that was good, he supposed. It body crashed down the corner of his eye and looked down to meant there was probably a surface of see a doorknob nestled in the brush. He some kind to walk on. He tossed the rock onto an unforgiving reached down to grab it and cringed as the back in, this time at an angle. There was a handle came free without resistance, con - faint rustle on the other side that sounded and rough surface. firming the growing realization in his mind something like grass. that the world he knew was gone forever. Pros and cons, Parker. The mental order Maybe not, his mind shot back. Maybe I triggered the creation of two lists in his mind. What were the nega - can use this to get back anytime I want. That’s what doors are for, right? tives of going through the door? Maybe he couldn’t breathe the air, They don’t close off things permanently. Besides, who’d want to go back but he didn’t think so. It smelled so good and clean. What if some - to that hell hole anyway? His breathing eased back into a regular thing over there killed him or tried to eat him? What about disease? rhythm. It was an uneasy calm, but he’d take it. “Explore,” he said How would he get back? Ned answered all of these questions almost aloud. “Take a look around, Parker. Let’s see what we’ve got.” Ned as quickly as they had formed. He would simply leave the door open. rolled the doorknob around in his hand once more before placing it If things went bad, he’d hop back into this world, at an angle, of in the mesh side pocket of his backpack. course. And the positives? Only one came to mind, and it was the The red haze of dawn put off just enough light for him to begin only one he needed. I could leave this crappy world forever. walking around without using his flashlight. Nearly half of the hori - Ned looked back into the hole and noticed that the sky on the zon to his left was backlit from the rising sun. He could see the sil - opposite side had lightened somewhat. The stars were beginning to houette of a mountain range that carpeted the landscape from one fade. His day pack sat beside him and he threw the straps over his end of the light to the other. In fact, everywhere he looked he saw shoulders and fastened the clips across his chest and waist. He wiped peaks and valleys. The meadow he was standing in was repeated on his palms to get rid of the sweat and re-gripped the Mag light. The a number of hilltops but the majority of them were covered with the lava flow of air coming from the doorway drew him back to the wide trunks of what he was beginning to call the Steroid Sequoias. opening. He looked in again and picked his spot. Far side, dive Ned put an ear to the wind, but couldn’t hear any birds singing from straight through, prepare to roll. Ned backed up a few steps and took their limbs, or streams rushing through their forests. The air had a deep breath. So long, suckers! He ran forward, smiling impishly, and become completely still, as though it was scared to move. jumped through to the other side. The grass beneath his feet squeaked against the rubber soles of

28 Nth Degree his shoes as he walked. He bent down to look at the blades again and unforgiving and rough surface. His ear smacked against the ground, flipped the switch of his flashlight to see them in his growing shad - building a new network of cobwebs on top of what already filled his ow. In the halogen light, the grass looked like it was covered in a head. He kept his eyes closed and enjoyed the cool air on his skin. It blanket of snow. Ned snapped off a piece to look at it up close. The was almost like he could feel each particle of wind as it crossed his outer covering was damp to the touch, almost as if it was sweating. body, and that’s when the pain hit. It was immediate and complete, He decided that the moisture had probably come from an overnight touching every extremity and making him feel like he’d been… shower. The green blade of grass could barely be seen through the Cooked. layer of wax armor. It was pliable enough to bend, but only a micro - Ned wondered exactly how close he’d just come to buying the scopic chip fell off when he scraped across it with his fingernail. farm. Or was he already dead? His eyes shot open. At first, his vision Ned felt a stinging sensation on the back of his neck and swatted was filled with orange and red orbs pulsing all around him. Then his at it. His skin was warm to the touch. The stillness of the air was bro - eyes started to adjust and he focused on a brick wall just a few inches ken by a growing high-pitched whine in the distance. It sounded like from his face. Brick? Was it really? the first few jets of steam leaving a boiling kettle. Ned froze in place, Ned pushed himself up and wiped off a thick coat of slime from afraid to move. Now the hand on the back of his neck was hit with his hands. Everything around him was covered with a glossy layer of the same sort of pain. He took it away and brought it under the black filth. He patted the floor near his legs and found the door - flashlight. The top half of his hand was a deep, cherry red. Suddenly knob resting against the bricks. The netting of his backpack disin - the hairs on the back of his head began to bristle. The hissing sound tegrated, Ned decided to keep it in the main chamber. He unshoul - grew deafening. dered the pack and felt around for the zipper, but he wouldn’t need Ned swung around and immediately threw his hands up over his it. A hole the size of his forearm was burned into the nylon. face, dropping the Mag light. The horizon was filled with a giant red Everything inside was in shambles. The plastic bags filled with food sun that raced skyward above the distant peaks. As the light hit him, had melted, as had his backup flashlight. Each of his three water it began to sear the palms of his hands. His clothes were starting to bottles had ruptured and spilled. It made the dryness in his throat stick to his skin and he wondered…are they melting? Ned reached almost unbearable. Water first, his survival instincts told him. Water, back to grab hold of the doorknob. The metal shaft burned itself then shelter, then food. into his palm but he didn’t care. Every exposed area of his body was Ned looked up and saw a band of blue sky above him. He fol - pulsing with pain. A scent like burnt plastic filled his nostrils and his lowed it, using it as an upside-down path out of the alleyway. He mind somehow accepted the fact that his clothes were likely on fire. realized as he walked that his right leg was dragging lazily behind his Still holding onto the doorknob, Ned jerked his backpack up left. He ignored it and instead concentrated on the growing hum until it covered his head and he turned his back to the red giant. He coming from up ahead. The band of sky turned right and Ned fol - stumbled forward and collapsed on the waxy earth, whose grass now lowed it down until he saw a break in the darkness. He limped faster, felt more like wet pasta. Ned looked over to make sure he was still falling twice against the side of the alley and grating his burned skin gripping the doorknob. He could no longer feel it in his hand. He across the jagged bricks. As he approached the exit, he heard the jammed it down and buried it an inch into the soil. The knob cracking sound of an overhead speaker being turned on, then a slipped through his sweaty fingers on his first attempt to turn it. He booming voice shouted into the air, “LABOR DAY COMMENCES peeled a bit of his shirt away to help and was not entirely surprised IN FIVE MINUTES! ALL WORKING MEN AND WOMEN to see bits of his own skin dangling from the fabric. He turned the REPORT TO YOUR POSTS! GOOD DAY!” knob and opened the doorway just as he heard his backpack pop Ned’s eyes focused on the exit more clearly and he saw for the like a balloon. Sweat filled his eyes, blurring the world on the other first time the sea of people mulling about the streets. In just a few side. His skin cracked as he moved. Ned willed his legs into motion seconds, he guessed that more than a hundred people walked by and lunged for the doorknob on the back of the door. He grabbed the alley, all of them wearing strange-colored suits that covered it and yanked backwards, falling into the hole and closing the door every inch of their body except the face. The sight of them made with him. his stomach turn; he looked down at the doorknob for a moment and then tucked it away in his shorts. The other worlds could wait. *** *** *** He might as well try to find some water first, maybe some new clothes as well. For a moment, Ned felt like he was floating in air, but the feeling A series of shouts broke out in the street. Ned hurried ahead, lasted only a fleeting second as his body crashed down onto an catching himself before he became lost in the rush of people. The

September 2005 29 buildings along the street were gigantic, filling nearly every inch of women began screaming and pounding on windows. Ned found space there was below the clouds. A stream of white smoke poured out himself alone in the middle of the street. His throat ached for water, of the sides of every building and filtered down to the streets. Gray, but he couldn’t stand being in this world a second longer. He lifeless architecture loomed over a sea of off-white concrete. There was - reached into his pocket and pulled out the doorknob. “Make it a n’t a shade of color in sight. And worse, Ned thought, absolutely no good one,” he said, and bent down to poke the handle into the sign of natural life, not even a plant hanging in a window. ground. The metal clanked against the concrete. Ned tried again The shouts roared out again and Ned looked over to see a mob and the doorknob bounced back. It couldn’t get through. Panicked, of people banging on the door of a tower across the street. Grown Ned limped over to a building wall, pushing people aside to get to men were crying and jumping on top of one another to get inside. the surface. He jammed the doorknob into a piece of glass and cried One of the larger ones tossed a skinny dark-haired man out into the out as it ricocheted back. street. The reject tried to muscle his way back into the crowd but was “THE WORKDAY HAS BEGUN! CONGRATULATIONS thrown out again by a woman wielding a metal briefcase. He stood TO THOSE MEN AND WOMEN WHO KEEP OUR SECTOR in the middle of the street, crying, until he saw Ned watching from STRONG! GOOD DAY!” the alleyway entrance. He ran over and grabbed hold of Ned’s arm. Everyone paused for a moment to look up at the buildings. The “Get off of me!” steam that Ned had noticed when he first stepped out into the street “Are you a boss?” he asked. His teeth chattered as he spoke. “You began to dissipate into little more than a tendril. The sight of it incit - gotta job for me, Mister?” ed a rush of people toward the dwindling cloud. Ned fell back “Leave me alone.” against the wall and tried to make sense of what had transpired. He “Please, I’ll do anything. Anything! I have two wives and four took a deep breath and found that he couldn’t fill his lungs all the young children. See?” The man pulled a rectangular picture from his way. He took another and coughed. Every intake felt more shallow pocket that had been printed on metal. Six sullen faces stared back than the other. at him. “I need a job, Mister. Can’t you help me?” “Come on, boss! Give me some O!” Ned jerked his arm away. “I don’t have a job for you.” Ned felt a hand grab his shoulder and turn him around. The “Aren’t you a boss? I won’t tell anybody. We can do the paper - dark-haired man pawed at his clothes. work right here, I—” “Where is it?! GIVE IT TO ME!” “I’m not a fucking boss!” Ned tried to get away but fell back as the man tackled him to the The man’s strained smile faded quickly as his eyes drifted into a concrete. He swiped lazily at the man’s head and missed. If only he stare. He paused for a moment as though he were solving a mental could catch his breath. puzzle and then his smile returned, this time a bit more knowing. “O. O, O, O!” the man wailed as he turned Ned over to search “Do you have any tanks?” his back. Thrusting his arm backwards, Ned caught him against the Ned shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” side of the head with the doorknob. The man fell off and began bab - “O, man! O! I need some, Paralos damn you! Can’t you see I’m bling incoherently as he lay on the ground. Ned pushed himself up. losin’ it? Can’t you?! I’m down to a C-level! A migrant worker! Almost He grabbed the man’s shirt to hit him again and his fingers dug into a shit-brained FEEB!” his flabby chest. Ned reared back to strike and then stopped. He Ned pushed the man away and he fell backwards onto the fought off a wave of lightheadedness and stared at the prone man, cement. Ned watched him writhe on his back and cry until he could - rolling the layer of muscle and fat between his fingers. He brought n’t stand it anymore. He stepped backwards onto the sidewalk only the doorknob down and looked at the metal shaft. His eyes switched to become lost in a fast-moving current of people. It was impossible between the two until he saw the man’s unconsciousness starting to to escape as people pushed and shoved their way toward the nearest fade. Now! his mind screamed at him. Do it! building doorway. They all had a panicked look in their eyes as “Do you pray?” Ned asked him. His voice sounded far away. though they were about to drown. The man looked confused. “What?” “ATTENTION!” the booming voice yelled out again from the “I don’t know. Somebody asked me that once.” tops of the buildings. “WORKING MEN AND WOMEN Ned let out a rushed laugh and brought the doorknob back SHOULD BE AT THEIR POSTS IN FIFTEEN SECONDS behind his head. He jammed it down into the side of the man’s FOR SCANNING. REPEAT, FIFTEEN SECONDS UNTIL stomach until the shaft buried itself in the skin. A gurgling scream FINAL SCAN!” erupted from the man and Ned used his good foot to pin him down. The speaker cracked as the voice faded away. Hordes of men and He turned the knob and laughed through a hoarse cough as it greet -

30 Nth Degree ed him with a click! He pulled back, opening a hole from the midriff panoramic tour of his surroundings. “I know this,” Ned said aloud. to the shoulders. The man’s screams ceased. Shaking off his dizziness, Everything around him triggered a memory. The knife-edge peak off Ned took hold of the opposite knob protruding from a patch of to his right was Mt. Pisgah, he was sure of it. And if that were true, small intestine and jumped through to the other side. there should have been a road winding up to the top with a large parking lot nestled just below the top, but there was nothing. Just *** *** *** beyond Pisgah he saw Black Balsam, its unmistakable green dome towering over Graveyard Fields. But where was the Blue Ridge After his escape from the city, Ned auditioned and rejected a host of Parkway? Where was the pulloff and the signs telling people where worlds until he stopped keeping track of the count. There was the to point their cameras? planet made up entirely of water, where he had almost given up hope A deer walked out from the treeline below him. The doe watched of reaching the bottom to open another doorway. He was saved by a Ned as it chewed on a mouthful of grass, perfectly content to share riptide that forced him down through the the mountain top with a stranger. pressure of the sea, nearly rendering him I’m alone! he shouted in his mind. Ned unconscious as he approached the sea floor. screamed out in joy and listened to his voice He turned the knob just as his eyesight With a broad smile ricochet off the sides of mountains. It was began to fade. Other worlds followed, each draped across his the first pure moment of happiness he’d had one more terrible than the other, and each in a long time. one, in his opinion, had a common cause face, Ned scanned With a broad smile draped across his for their state: humans. Ned had never face, Ned scanned the scenery until he rec - hated them more. They were weak, slow- the scenery until ognized a mountain leading out toward the minded, and didn’t deserve the lives they east. He’d thought about hurling a door - were given. It got to the point near the end he recognized a knob that way once hoping that it would where he would leave a world at the first brain the crazy bastard who’d stopped him sign of human life. He held in his hand the mountain leading on the trail. Ned looked down and rolled key to unlocking doorways to an infinite the doorknob around in his hand. The number of universes. Why couldn’t he find out toward the east. smile changed to a sideways grin as he tight - one that wasn’t tainted by mankind? ened his fingers around the glass. “You After escaping a world overrun with thought you could outlast me, didn’t you?” murderous children, Ned traveled through the doorway and fell into he said, raising his voice against the wind. “Thought I’d give up that a patch of something that felt like grass. I wonder if it has a wax cov - easily. Nobody gets the best of Ned Parker, kiddo! Nobody!” Ned ering? he thought. His eyes opened and a gust of wind made him reared back and hurled the doorknob through the air, watching it sail narrow them into a squint. He was definitely on grass; it was mostly against the blue sky and then disappear into the forest below. He brown mixed with a few patches of new, green shafts poking through laughed out loud when he heard the glass shatter against a tree. in spots. Ned rose to sit up and winced. His back and legs sent angry Ned turned around and limped back to the top of the bald. He shots of pain up his spine. He ran his fingers across his neck and felt would need to set up a camp soon. Water, shelter, fire, food, the four his hard, wrinkled skin. His left foot cocked itself awkwardly behind basic survival needs in the wilderness. He couldn’t wait to test out his him, as useless as it was painful. His ears still rung from being forced outdoors knowledge. Fire might be tough to come by, depending on under the ocean’s pressure. If the man in the woods had meant to kill the rocks in the area, but— him, it was taking a helluva long time. But that’s not the case, Ned A rustle of leaves interrupted the quiet stillness. Ned froze and told himself. He was given a gift to escape, he just hadn’t found the listened to the wind. He paused for a moment, nearly allowing him - right destination yet. self to exhale when he heard the noise again, closer, and sounding Sunlight reflected off the doorknob sitting next to his hand. Ned almost as if it had come from a different spot. It was followed by a stood and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. The air was cool low, gurgling moan. In some obscure corner of his mind, Ned felt a but invigorating. He peeked out of one eye and then quickly opened brief moment of relief. The sound didn’t seem like it was human. He the other one. He was standing on top of a grassy bald in the middle turned slowly on his good foot, ready to grab some sort of stick to of a mountain range. A hawk swung down into view and Ned fol - fend off whatever animal was moving in on him. Soon after he’d lowed it as it twisted through the air, guiding him through a focused on the woods below him, Ned felt a stream of hot urine

September 2005 31 flowing down his leg. His screams soon followed. Moving out of the shadows of trees were hoards of naked men Mrs. Mad Scientist and women. Black hair fell like rivers of oil over their shoulders, cov - ering mangled humps along their back. More emerged from under - by Rochelle Mitchell ground, pushing their way up through the dirt with claws that were longer than their fingers. They sniffed the air with pointed noses and The wife of the mad scientist gets no sympathy then turned to follow the group heading toward Ned. They inched While she holds his test tubes up the mountainside, gurgling and whimpering like hungry dogs searching for food. Faces swathed with dirt looked from side to side, And heats his Bunsen burners, passing over him as they surveyed his scent. A dome of translucent She says, “Yes, dear,” skin covered their eyes. As they got closer, Ned saw rows of sharp And nods politely, fangs jutting out of mouths that hung open in a pant. “Go on!” he cried out meekly. “Get out of here!” When listening to her husband’s latest scheme. The creatures whipped their heads around, honing in on his She tells herself she should have married the plumber voice. Most were running now, snorting as they trudged up the hill - When her husband locks himself in the basement. side. Ned could hear more coming from behind but he didn’t dare turn around. His mind spiraled out of control, leaving him para - Life would be much simpler lyzed. Think of something, Parker! he screamed inside, but the And she would not have to explain to the children orders went unheeded. It was too late. What good would running do Why Daddy seems to care more when everywhere he looked, he saw mindless, ravenous… (people) About his Jacob’s ladder than their birthdays. …beasts charging at him? It wasn’t fair! IT WASN’T GOD - Then she is left to raise the children alone DAMN FAIR! After her husband turns himself into a giant reptile, The first of the dirt-dwellers reached Ned and latched a clawed hand onto his arm. The man tugged at him, using Ned’s screams as The neighbors into small furry rodents, a guide to inch his other hand closer to the neck. Claws like needles And blows the laboratory to kingdom come, raked across his jugular, lightly at first and then with growing pres - Yes, she should have married the plumber. sure. He saw ribbons of skin—his skin—hanging off of the beast’s claws. It rushed them toward its mouth, sucking them in through the gaps in its teeth. Ned screamed out and flailed his body around to no avail. Every movement dug the talons deeper into his arm. Another set punc - tured his back, and he felt a hot, steamy breath surveying his head. His eyes flashed wide as he felt the dagger-teeth take away a chunk of his scalp. The growing mob cheered with a chorus of inharmo - nious whelps.

*** *** ***

When the feast subsided, the dirt-dwellers retired to their homes deep within the mountain. Rogers Bald, a picture of solitude, resumed its watch over the Pisgah, providing a tempting lure to the passing traveler desperate to attain a brief moment of isolation. The discouraging grade of Pickle Gap Road was a memory long forgotten. But the prospective wanderer should not fear, for there are always passages available for those eager to escape the world around them.

32 Nth Degree d l r o W

w e r d n A

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n o i t a r t s u l l I By Johnny Carruthers To the tune of “The Brady Bunch” by Frank DeVol and Sherwood Schwartz 1. It’s the story of a girl named Buffy, 2. It’s the story of a guy named Angel, Who alone was chosen as the Slayer girl. A vampire living with a Gypsy curse. She would wield her wooden stakes with wild abandon, When he fell in love with a certain Slayer, Yet not mess up her curls. Things went from bad to worse.

It’s the story of her Watcher, Rupert, Then there’s Xander, Oz, and Cordelia, Who had journeyed to the Hellmouth on his own. And Willow, who assist the Chosen One. He was waiting for her arrival, They had no clue what they’d get into, So he was still alone. But thought it might be fun.

Until the one day when the Slayer met the Watcher, On that day they met the Slayer and the Watcher, And they knew that it was much more than a hunch, They all knew that it was much more than a hunch; That this group would be great slaying vampires. As a group, they’d stand against the Hellmouth, That’s the way they all became The Buffy Bunch. That’s the way that they became The Buffy Bunch.

The Buffy Bunch! The Buffy Bunch! The Buffy Bunch! The Buffy Bunch! That’s the way they became That’s the way they became The Buffy Bunch! The Buffy Bunch! September 2005 33 C OMICS

Arthur King of Time and Space by Paul Gadzikowski

34 Nth Degree Melonpool by Steve Troop

Bob the Angry Flower by Stephen Notley The Last Straw by Bob Kauffmann

September 2005 35 BelchBurger by Dan Fahs & Robert Balder

36 Nth Degree Richmond, VA April 21-23, 2006

Author Guest of Honor Terry Brooks

Science Fiction Artist Guest of Honor returns to Richmond, Tom Kidd

Virginia with RavenCon 2006, a Fan Guests of Honor weekend celebrating the genres of Lee & Alexis Gilliland

Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror. register online at Join our guests for panel discus - http://www.ravencon.com sions, workshops and gaming that email further questions to [email protected] will only happen at RavenCon!

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