RESPONDING TO THE CHALLENGES OF FAMILY IN WITH PASTORAL INSIGHTS FROM AMORIS LAETITIA

Diplomarbeit Zur Erlangung des Grades eines Magisters der Theologie an der Katholische-Theologischen Fakultät Universität Innsbruck

Eingereicht von: Emmanuel Onyinye Aneto

Beim Studiendekan der Kath-.Theol. Fakultät Assoz.-Prof. Dr. Nikolaus Wandinger

Betreut von: Univ.-Ass. Dr. Johannes Panhofer

Innsbruck, January 2020

Dedication To Ifunanya Moses Aneto, my younger brother. For the physical challenges he has suffered throughout his life.

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Acknowledgement

I give thanks to God, who is the inexhaustible source of knowledge and wisdom, for all the graces he gave to me, which enabled me to write this work. God´s graces was also made manifest in the human instruments, who assisted me in one way or the other, before and during the course of this work.

Thanks to the Jesuits for offering me the scholarship to further my studies in Innsbruck. In a special way I thank the rector of the Canisianum, Pater. Andreas Schermann SJ, the spiritual director, Pater. Joseph Thora SJ and the studies prefect Pater. Edmund Runggaldier for their moral support and spiritual accompaniment.

I am grateful to my supervisor Dr. Johannes Panhofer. His was always available for a meeting with me regarding the work and guided me with a profound and loving commitment. I thank him immensely for his calm, friendly and open disposition to me.

This work would not have been successful without the contributions of my beloved friends and brother-priests: Fr, Anthony Atansi and Fr. Paschal Okpaleke (both are pursing advanced studies at the Katholieke Universiteit Leuven, Belgium). Fr. Anthony helped me to clearly conceive and sharpen my ideas concerning the topic and approach. Fr. Paschal painstakingly proofread this work and made useful corrections and suggestions.

The Jesuit International College (Canisianum) is for me a-home-away-from-home because of the fraternal warmth and communion that I enjoyed among my colleagues. I was also enriched by our cultural and national diversities and the support we give to one another. Thank you dear brothers in Christ.

I thank immensely my beloved diocesan administrator, Very. Rev. Fr. Innocent. O Ajuonu, for his confidence in me and approving that I do advanced studies in the prestigious University of Innsbruck. He has continued to support and encourage me in his characteristic fatherly manner.

Finally, I thank all those who in one way or the other have made this stage of my life a success, but whom I could not acknowledge by their names. May God the Father of the human family, make the works of their hands fruitful and prosperous.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS DEDICATION…………………………………………………………………………,,,,,….. i ACKNOWLEDGEMENT…………………………………………………………………..... ii TABLE OF CONTENTS……………………………………………………………………… iii GENERAL INTRODUCTION……………………………………………………………… 1

CHAPTER ONE

EZINAụLọ: THE PLACE AND STATUS OF FAMILY IN IGBO LIFE AND THOUGHT… 6 1.1 Primacy of Life ………………………………………………………………………… 7 1.2 Nurture and Formation………………………………………………………………… 14 1.3 Communion…………………………………………………………………………… 19 1.4 THE STRUCTURE OF IGBO FAMILY……………………………………………. 25 1.4.1 Nuclear Family…………………………………………………………………………. 25 1.4.2 Extended Family……………………………………………………………………… .. 26 1.5 ROLES IN IGBO FAMILY…………………………………………………………… 28 1.5.1 Husband………………………………………………………………………………… 28 1.5.2 Wife, …………………………………………………………………………………… 29 1.5.3 Children ……………………………………………………………………………….. 30 CHAPTER TWO EXPLORING THE CHALLENGES OF FAMILY IN IGBO LAND…….. 32 2.1 Socio-cultural Challenges…………………………………………………………… 32 2.1.1 Marriage itself…………………………………………………………………………. 32 2.1.2 Childlessness…………………………………………………………………………… 36 2.1.3 Patriarchy………………………………………………………………………………. 38 2.1.4 The Extended Family………………………………………………………………….. 43 2.1.5 Remnants of Osu Caste-System……………………………………………………….. 45 2.2 Socio-economic Challenges……………………………………………………………. 50  Inadequate of social security  Tribalism iii

 Migration 2.3 Modern cum Ideological Challenges…………………………………………………… 53 2.3.1 Feminism………………………………………………………………………………… 54 2.3.2 Social Communication media …………………………………………………………… 61 2.3.3 Break-up of Marriages…………………………………………………………………… 64

CHAPTER THREE THEOLOGICAL-PASTORAL RESPONSE TO CHALLENGES OF FAMILY IN IGBOLAND: INSIGHTS FROM AMORIS LAETITIA……………………………. 72 3.1 Proactive Responses to Family Challenges in Regular Situations………………….. 73 3.1.1 Remote Response (RR)………………………………………………………………… 73 3.1.2 Proximate Response (PR)……………………………………………………………… 76 3.1.3 Immediate Response (IR)………………………………………………………………. 79 3.2 Active Response to Family Challenges in Irregular Situations…………………….. 86 3.2.1 Approach of pastoral accompaniment…………………………………………………… 87 3.2.1.1 Stance of the Church´s Doctrine………………………………………………………… 91 3.2.1.2 Stance of Catholic Moral Theology……………………………………………………… 93 3.2.1.3 Stance of Mercy…………………………………………………………………………. 96

CHAPTER FOUR EVALUATION AND CONCLUSION ………………………………………………. 99 4.1 Complementary Praxis: Drawing pastoral response from Igbo socio-cultural context…. 99 4.1.1 Ikụ-Aka n`ụzọ…………………………………………………………………………… 100 4.1.2 Ijụ-Ase………………………………………………………………………………….. 101 4.2 Insights from this Research……………………………………………………………. 105 4.3 Some Considerations for Further Research……………………………………………. 105 4.4 Concluding Remarks…………………………………………………………………… 106 BIBLIOGRAPHY…………………………………………………………………………….. 110

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GENERAL INTRODUCTION

The natural institutions of marriage and human family are as old as human existence. The human family is very vital for human civilisation because it ensures the procreation and sustenance of life. The family, however, is confronted with the constant threat of devaluation from new and radical ideologies. Its significance and vitality is diminishing. This situation is a serious source of worry for both the Church and the State because the decline of the family spells doom for everything human. The Church is constantly worried about this development, conscious of her mission to lead humanity to God. Indeed, the Church has responded, throughout history, in many different ways to the challenges to Family life.

In 2016 Pope Francis added even more to the responses with the release of “Amoris Laetitia; On Love in the Family.” The Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia was addressed to clergy, Christian married couples and lastly to all the lay faithful. After an extensive discernment process, it was birthed to consider the situation around family life in our day in the church and the world.

This important document, however, precipitated a lot of controversies, as it examined the situation of the family in our world today and what the Church’s pastoral approach to the Family should be. The document offered some pastoral responses to challenges experienced, especially by the divorced and remarried couples. It is an exhortation with universal relevance to all cultures and peoples. But the extent to which its responses are appropriated into a particular culture is also dependent on the elements within the culture itself. Pope Francis himself observes that “each country or region, moreover, can seek solutions better suited to its culture and sensitive to its traditions and local needs. For cultures are in fact quite diverse and every general principle needs to be inculturated, if it is to be respected and applied”.1

The Church in Igboland, south-east of is faced with a lot of challenges, whose roots are, in my opinion, partly traceable to marital crisis and breakdown of the family. This situation is very disturbing considering the profound value the Igbo generally attach to the Family. More so, considering their deep religiosity. In other words, an attack on the family in Igboland would have

1Pope Francis, “Post Synodal Apostolic Exhortation on Love in the Family”, Amoris Laetitia, (March 19, 2016), 3. 1 enormous negative consequences for the Church in this region. For the Igbo Christian, the best model of the Church is “the Church as a family”. Thus, for the Church to remain credible and relevant in Igboland, it should be organised as a loving family of God’s children.

In the post-Synodal exhortation, Amoris Laetitia, the Pope articulated some pastoral responses to challenges that families all over the world are undergoing. My aim in this work to apply some of these responses in tackling certain identifiable challenges that the family in Igboland may be confronting. Apart from Amoris Laetitia, reference would also be made to any other ecclesiastical document whose content is relevant to the discourse.

I shall also try to identify some areas of conflict or indifference between the Church’s teaching on marriage and family, and some marriage traditions and customs in Igboland. I shall propose some responses from Igbo indigenous custom and tradition.

Thus, in this research, I shall seek ideas from both within the Church and that might be helpful in addressing marriage and family challenges in Igboland. In other words, I shall endeavour, in one hand to get responses from the Church, and on the other hand, to also offer the Church certain elements from Igbo Culture. The aim is to also create a mutually beneficial response for both the Church and the Igbo themselves.

As part of the general introduction, I shall briefly introduce the Igbo and the Church in Igboland immediately.

The word “Igbo” formerly written as “Ibo” refers to both the and their language. There has been intellectual controversy regarding the origin and meaning of the word “Igbo” and how it came to be identified with a particular people and their language. According to Arinze;

Experts are not yet certain about the origin and meaning of the word ‘Igbo’. It certainly did not originally refer to the whole Igbo tribe as we know it today, for before the arrival of Europeans over one hundred years ago, there was no common name for the tribe, but each town or village-group had its particular name often taken from an ancestor. Such derivations as these have been suggested: ‘the people, man of the bush’, and, secondarily ‘slaves.’2

2 Francis A. Arinze., Sacrifice in Igbo Traditional Religion, (: St. Stephen´s Press Inc, 2008), 1. 2

Georg Thomas Basden, one of the European missionaries, who lived and worked among the Igbo for about thirty five years, writes; “All my attempts to trace the origin of the name ‘Ibo’ have been unsuccessful. My most reliable informants have been able to offer no other alternative than that it is most probably an abbreviation of a longer name connected with an ancestor long since forgotten”.3

Already in some quarters the word “Igbo” is translated rather as verbs such as “to protect”, “to shield”, or “to resolve” a problem. The suggestions are indeed broad and varied, but the word refers, however, to the same people.

The origin of the Igbo is also shrouded in obscurity, owing to a dearth of documentation in writing. Most of what we know about the history of the Igbo is oral, and often local. Suffice it, therefore to note that there are various theories and narratives on the origin of the Igbo. Some interesting others very fascinating. Leonard calls the intricate problem of the origin of the Igbo “a maze within a maze”.4

However, Elizabeth Isichei, one of the outstanding Igbo scholars, who has done commendable research on the origin of the Igbo writes that “the history of the Ibo and their forbears goes back four thousand years or more….Archaeological findings in Iboland go back as far as four thousand years”.5

Geographically, the Igbo live approximately within latitude 5-7 North of Equator and Longitude 6-8 East of the Greenwich line6. The traditional home of the Igbo is located in the “south-eastern part of present Nigeria with the River Benue to the North, the River Niger to the West and the Atlantic Ocean to the South. Before it enters the Atlantic Ocean, the River Niger divides the ‘Igbo Country’ into two unequal parts. This separation accounts for the existence of the western and eastern Igbo which, despite some political differences, still maintain their cultural identity”7. Some

3 George Thomas Basden, Niger Ibos, (London: Frank Cass & Co. LTD, 1938), xi. 4 Arthur Glyn Leonard, “The lower Niger and its tribes” in Arinze, Sacrifice in Igbo Religion,.2. 5 Elizabeth. Isichei, The Ibo People and the Europeans: The Genesis of a Relationship-to 1906, (New York: St. Martin´s Press 1973),18. 6 E. Ilogu,“ Christianity and Igbo Culture“ in: Emmanuel Okonkwo, Marriage in the Christian and Igbo Traditional Context: Towards an InculturationI, (Frankfurt am Main: Peter Lang, 2003),7. 7Victor. Chikezie. Uchendu, The Igbo of southeastern Nigeria, in: Nwosu Chilegidem.Kelvin, Traditional Education of Children in Igbo Family System: A Challenge to the Missionary/Colonial Education System, (Unpublished Doctorate thesis, Faculty of Theology, University of Innsbruck, 1994), 7. 3 scholars have divided Igboland into five cultural areas which are also five geographical areas. Here is the division;

(1) Northern or Onitsha Igbo: this includes towns like , , Udi, , Onitsha, Awgu, Agbani. (2) Southern or : within this subcultural area are important towns like Aba, , Owerri, Okigwe, Orlu. (3) Western Igbo: this is the part of Igboland wich is in the Bendel state of Nigeria and includes toowns like Asaba, Agbor, Kwale, Illah and Aboh. (4) Eastern or Cross Rivere Igbo: important places include Abam, , Afikpo, and Abriba. (5) North Eastern Igbo: places of interest here include Ezza, uburu, Okposi and Abakaliki8.

The last three divisions contain only a sparse population of the Igbo while the first two divisions contains the highest population. It is not clear how long the Igbo have lived in these places but Elizabeth Isichei concludes that “available evidence suggests that the Ibo and their forbears have lived in much their present homes from the dawn human history. The fact that they and their neighbours speak very different but related languages points to this conclusion”.9 A substantial minority of the Igbo lives to the West of the Niger, namely the Delta. Northern Igbo is comprised of communities located around the Onitsha, Awka, Udi, Agwu districts and parts of the Nsukka and Okigwe areas. The southern Igbo subculture group embraces Owerri, , and parts of Okigwe. The Igbo of the western and eastern parts of the Niger still maintain their cultural Identity, despite the partition by the River Niger. This work is primarily concerned with the Igbo of Nigeria, but let us mention that there are Igbo, who during the slave trade were involuntary emigrants to the New World. A few of them were “recaptured from slave ships and resettled in Sierra Leone, where they formed, in the nineteenth century, a flourishing community with a strong sense of its Igbo Identity. Those who reach the Americas were soon cut off, of necessity, from the memory of their origins, and their history becomes one with that of the Afro-Americans”.10

8 Ibid., pp. 7-8 9 Isichei, The Ibo People and the Europeans: The Genesis of a Relationship-to 1906,19 10 Ibid.,pp. 17-18. 4

Igboland is rated to be one of the densely populated in and the population of the Igbo in Nigeria is estimated to be 42million11. Igboland occupies an area of about 15,800 square miles. (This is about 29, 889 square Kilometres)12. This work is limited to the Igbo who live in the traditional home of the Igbo, i.e the south-eastern part of Nigeria, with 13 Catholic Dioceses (2 Archdioceses). The data obtained from these individual catholic dioceses from a global catholic online source (gcatholic.org) puts the total population of Catholics at an estimate of 11million13. The methodology for this research is partly descriptive and analytic. I shall describe pertinent cultural elements of the Igbo and also analyse relevant ones among them. This would help me to identify some of the challenges of family in Igboland. Having identified them, I shall deploy the pastoral resources from Amoris Laetitia to respond to them. Finally I shall identify factors, if any, that can limit the effectiveness of the Church’s pastoral work for the family in Igboland.

11 “Igbo People”, Wikipedia, n.d. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igbo_people, (Accessed December 20, 2019). 12Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeastern Nigeria, in Nwosu, Traditional Education of Children in Igbo Family system: A Challenge to the Missionary/Colonial Education System, 8. 13 http://www.gcatholic.org/dioceses/country/NG.htm, (Accessed January 5, 2020). 5

CHAPTER ONE

EZINAụLọ: THE PLACE AND STATUS OF FAMILY IN IGBO LIFE AND THOUGHT

Ezinaụlọ in English language simply refers to “family”. The word Ezinaụlọ is a composite of two separable words. In Igbo “ezi” is a noun which means “outside”, “compound”. It refers often to things or situations outside the house or by some extension, outside the neighbourhood. Thus, one can refer to things happening both outside the house and one’s immediate environment as “Ihe na- eme n´ezi”. Ezi therefore, could refer to the ‘immediate’, when it concerns the environment outside of the house or the ‘remote’ when it concerns the environment outside of the neighbourhood. “Ụlo”, in one sense could refer to a house, either habitable or inhabitable, or a home. “Ulo” therefore unlike “Ezi” concerns itself with expressing the things or situations within the house or at home, “Ihe na-eme n’ulo” (something happening inside the house). Furthermore, “ezi precedes ụlọ in structural terms, but ezi loses its functional integrity once ụlo disintegrates. It is the peace of ezi that brings prosperity to ezinaụlọ and poverty leads to its fusion”14. In structural analysis ezi and ulo are polar concepts but they are also complementary. Their complementarity lies in the fact that it is the social life in the ulo that activates the cultural life of the ezi, the achievements of the ulo that are celebrated in ezi and vice-versa. “Na” is simply a conjunction in which means “and”.

Thus, literally translated, “Ezinaụlọ” means “compound and house” or better “outside and house”. In the light of this meaning, we can observe that the Igbo “Ezinaụlọ” is both dynamic and integrative, external and internal. It is flexible and incorporating. It is broad and narrow. It encompasses both the within and the without. The Igbo, therefore, do not regard only those within the house or home as family members but also those outside of it.

Beyond its literal translation, “Ezinaụlọ” as a concept expresses a socio-cultural and spiritual reality that is of immense value in the Igbo society. Accordingly, Victor Chikezie Uchendu, a famous Igbo anthropologist and ethnographer observes that, “Ezi and Ulo are two clusters of culture-traits. They are separately identifiable units in Igbo cultural organisation, embodying both

14 Victor Chikezie Uchendu, “Ezi Na Ụlọ: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation,” Dialectical Anthropology Volume 31, (2007), https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007%252Fs10624-007-9019-4.pdf, (Accessed: September 24, 2018), 18. 6 material aspects of the environment and the non-material structures of meaning which influence the attitudes of properly enculturated Igbo individuals. On the other hand, ezi n`ulo constitutes a unity, a single culture-complex, carrying with it a hierarchy of meanings”.15

The understanding of a people’s worldview presupposes the appreciation of cultural structures upon which it rests. Among the Igbo, Ezinaụlọ is fundamental to the understanding of the worldview of the Igbo people. It facilitates the understanding of the various layers of meaning that undergird Igbo cultural activities, while proving the basic definition of Igbo cultural goals and social relations.

Uchendu further clarifies his argument by summarising the Igbo worldview in seven propositions, which could be concisely stated thus: i. The Igbo world is integrated ii. The Igbo world is dynamic iii. The Igbo world is conceived in market terms iv. Status-seeking is a cyclical and never-ending quest v. Expectations of a transparent life vi. Personal accountability for wrongdoing vii. Adaptability to change

In what follows, I shall buttress aspects of Uchendu’s propositions as I examine the conceptual and structural implications of the Igbo Family.

1.1 Primacy of Life Life is the first and most precious gift of God to human beings. One can equally assume that life is also respected by those people who do not believe in its divine origin. In varying degrees and distinctive ways, peoples and cultures across the globe, respect, guide, preserve and celebrate life. This truth cannot be over-emphasised. There are certainly some practices which may constitute abuses to life across different cultures and among different among, but beyond these abuses are also conscientious efforts to promote life.

15 Uchendu, “Ezi Na Ulo: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation”, 173. 7

In African societies, life is of an immeasurable value. It is greatly desired and carefully nurtured. Nigerian Jesuit theologian, Agbokhianmeghe Orobator rightly observes that, “the notion of life forms the ethical and religious compass of the African religious experience. Life is the operative principle in African religion: the goal and aim of human existence is life in its fullness. All our religious celebrations in Africa center around life, that is, on how to protect life from harm, celebrate it as gift, and strengthen or prolong it in the community”.16 This assertion from Orobator would later be made clearer when I further explore in details how the Igbo value life. One significant reason why the family is very crucial in Igbo culture is its natural association with the generation and protection of life. The family is the proper context where life is begotten, safeguarded and nurtured. Thus, any harm done to the family is harm done to life. In that sense, for the Igbo ndụ bụ isi (life comes first). Life is fundamental. Since life is the a priori condition of existence for the Igbo, and the source of this fundament is located in the family, one understands why the family occupies such a high place in Igbo life and thought. In fact, from the day of the celebration of marriage, friends and family members are already filled with high expectations for a ‘new life’ in the family. They earnestly hope to be informed within few months from the wedding day that the woman is already maternally expectant. When this does not happen within the first year of marriage, people get worried and begin to imagine that something might be wrong somewhere. Hence, fertility is radically linked to marriage. A deeper look into some other elements of Igbo life and thought will reveal the significance and value attached to life. It is helpful to note that a lot of Igbo names, proverbs, customs about transmission and care of life abound with positive thoughts. These thoughts flow from profound beliefs about life. Language as we know is a vehicle of culture. We would discover from the analysis of words associated with life in Igbo language, the depth of the value of life in Igbo culture. This is clearly evident in the Igbo word for human being, namely, Mmadụ, which is a fusion of two words “mma” (beauty) and “ndu” (life). Mmadụ literally means “the beauty of life”. The Igbo recognises the presence of life in other creatures but firmly beliefs that the human person embodies a special expression of it. The human person is the most sublime example of existence. And the

16 Agbonkhianmeghe. E. Orobator, Theology brewed in an African Pot (New York: Orbis Books 2008), 144. 8 family is considered as the proper context for the generation of Mmadụ as well as the safest space for the prolongation of its existence. Before I proceed with the analysis of some Igbo names, it is important to clarify that for the Igbo, names are not mere tags as could be observed in some European cultures. Igbo names are not just labels, but expressions of thought pattern, concepts, ideals, beliefs, life and life history. Igbo names tell stories about Igbo life and people, they tell stories about who the Igbo are and what they believe in. Indeed, Igbo names reveal emotions, feelings, aspirations, hopes, prayers, wishes and values, particularly those that are associated with the circumstances surrounding the birth of new life. In affirming the value of life, Igbo names equally validate the Igbo understanding of the family, which, as already mentioned, is the proper context for the nurture of life.

Some of these names with their meanings as laid out by Charles U. Anuolam include the following:

Nnọrọm: It is a shorter form of ‘Nnọrọm ele ụwa ka onye nwụrụ anwụ mma’—to be alive and watch the world is better than being dead. This shows that life is worth living and is appreciated under all circumstances. Nothing could reduce the value of life.

Ọsọndụ: It is also a shorter form of ‘Qsondu agwụ ike’, that is to say, no one ever gets tired running to save life. This shows that nothing can be considered more demanding in an attempt to save or protect life. All has to be endured in order to ensure the safety of life.

Ndụkwe: Ndụdị If life permits or allows. These names demonstrate that life determines whatever man can do. Nothing is possible without life, the determinants of all other values.

Ndụkakụ: Life worths more that riches (wealth). It is the most precious of all wealth to be possessed by man. This does not mean that the Igbos do not search for wealth. No! But the point is, any pursuit of wealth that puts life in danger is totally discouraged because as the Igbos say; Ndụ adịghị abụọ (life is not double).

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Ndụ: Some are simply called Ndụ (life). Its aim is just for the family to keep in mind the value of life; the need for life; the central place of life in all actions and above all, the love and respect for life.17

The appearance of Ndụ (life) in most Igbo names is no doubt an eloquent proof of the great value placed on life in Igbo culture. However, it is very interesting to spot that there are also many Igbo names that are either suffixed or prefixed with the Igbo word for death (Ọnwụ). One might be inclined to ask whether Igbo people also consider death to be a value. On the contrary, death is unwanted, dreaded and even scorned by the Igbo. Igbo names associated with death are in fact, prayers against death, wishes and sentiments showing a preference of life to death. Again, Anuolam presents a handful of them as shown below; Ọnwụbiko: Death please! It is a kind of prayer and 'request' to death to spare life. For a family that has sadly witnessed the death of a number of her children, such a name is normal for any subsequent child. It demonstrates also a kind of disgust over the 'pain-ful' effect of death. Ọzọemena: May it not happen again. It has almost the same implications as Ọnwụbiko, a prayer that death may not strike again because life is preferred to death. Ọnwụdiwe: Death is wicked, heartless. If death is so, life was therefore seen as kind, good, lovable and to be desired. Ọnwụkwe: If death permits, and one lives, he can achieve his life's desire. It shows a kind of despair over death and a desire for life.18

In the classic novel, Things Fall Apart, the famous Igbo writer, Chinua Achebe presents a lucid picture of the attitude of the Igbo towards death in relation to Igbo names; Ekwefi had suffered a good deal in her life. She had borne ten children and nine of them had died in infancy, usually before the age of three. As she buried one child after another her sorrow gave way

17 Charles U. Anuolam, Igbo Value and care for Life, (Unpublished work, Pamplona, 1993), https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/83562852.pdf, (Accessed June 10, 2019), pp. 318-319. 18 Ibid., 319. 10

to despair and then to grim resignation. The birth of her children, which should be a woman´s crowning glory, became for Ekwefi mere physical agony devoid of promise. The naming ceremony after seven market weeks became an empty ritual. Her deepening despair found expression in the names she her children. One of them was a pathetic cry, Onwumbiko-´Death, I implore`. But Death took no notice; Onwumbiko died in his fifteenth Month. The next child was a girl, Ozoemena – ´May it not happen again`. She died in her eleventh month, and two others after her. Ekwefi then became defiant and called the next child Onwuma – ‘Death may please himself’. And he did.19

So far, I have been able to establish that some Igbo names are revealing of the Igbo primal value for life. But are the names alone exhaustive sources of this value? Perhaps, it is important to examine another aspect of Igbo culture, namely Igbo proverbs.

“Proverbs are philosophical and moral expositions that are shrunk to few words, and they form mnemonic device in societies in which everything worth knowing and relevant to day-to-day life are creatively committed to memory.”20

Proverbs are linguistic devices used to distill and orally transmit aspects of Igbo culture and tradition across generations. They bear the wisdom of the Igbo forebears, in their original and uncontaminated nature. Here is the special merit of the use of proverb: they go back to the pre- colonial days and consequently one can use them to prove that certain ideas, concepts, practices, values, respect for human life, existed among the Igbos before the advent of Christianity and western civilisation. Igbo proverbs contain and express the authentic philosophical worldview of the people. But how do proverbs express the appreciation of the value of life in Igbo culture?

For the Igbo, the interruption of the family culture is the interruption of life itself. To ensure the existence of life in the world is to constantly secure the family. Thus, the Igbo say, “onye a mụrụ ya mụta ibe ya” – One who is begotten should also beget another person. In order to ensure that

19 Chinua Achebe, The African Trilogy: Things Fall Apart, No Longer at Ease, Arrow of God (New York: Everyman´s Library 1992), 55. 20 Emmanuel Obiechina, Culture, Tradition and Society in the West African Novel, in Anuolam, Igbo Value and Care for Life, 321.

11 life continues, Igbo families are naturally open to reproduction, in fact, reproduction is one big motivation for marriage. We shall elaborate on this later in this work.

Meanwhile, the Igbo say “ọkọ kọwa anụmanụ ọ ga n`ahụ aja, ọkọ kọwa mmadụ ọ gakwuru nwanne ya”- when an animal is itching it goes to the wall, but when a person is itching he/she goes to a brother/sister. This demonstrates support for one another and provision of help in times of need. Such actions are needed in order to reduce the burden that threatens life. They express the value of solidarity and communality, which we shall also discuss later. But it is very interesting to note how these values are ultimately geared towards the highest good, life.

Another proverb states, “Mmadu agaghi eji maka ụnwụ na anwụ rie nne ya” – one cannot eat one’s mother because there is famine. This proverb shows that the Igbo forbid the taking of an innocent life. No amount of justification or reason is good enough to warrant the destruction of another’s life. The use of “nne” (Mother) to deepen the sense of this proverb is also a function of the special place given to motherhood in Igbo family as would be further explored.

The Igbo proverb used for blessing the kolanut before breaking and eating it with a visitor is also noteworthy. While performing the ritual of the blessing of the kolanut the Igbo often say “Onye wetara Ọji, wetara ndụ”- he who brings kolanut, brings life. The love of life and the desire to always have it, is clearly evident in this proverb.

Apart from proverbs, there are certain acts that constitute taboo in Igbo culture. For instance, Igbo culture forbids abortion. Abortion is Nsọ Ala and is regarded as Arụ (Abomination). In the traditional Igbo society, it is unthinkable to kill an unborn child. Anyone found guilty of such heinous crime makes the necessary sacrifices in order to appease the gods and avert an impending doom. Even in the contemporary Igbo society abortion remains abhorrent. Once a woman is pregnant, she receives special care and attention from all and sundry, because of the life she is carrying in her womb. Her diet and hygiene are no longer her personal business but that of all, especially family members and friends. The reasons, among others, are to keep her healthy and also to protect the life of the unborn child. Prayers are also constantly offered in favour of the expectant woman and her unborn child. The arrival of a new life in an Igbo family is a call for great celebration from family, friends and neighbours. We shall discuss some detailed aspects of this topic when we discuss some cultural challenges to the Igbo family.

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Indeed, life is primary in Igbo scale of values. The Igbo love life, nurture it, celebrate it, pray and work to prolong it. The first and major reason they value life is because “life is a sacred thing given by Chukwu (God), and must be protected at all costs”.21 The Igbo already have this value before the encounter with Christianity. They did not learn it from Christian missionaries. It was already a fundamental part of their culture before the advent of the missionaries. Traditional Igbo names like Chinwendu - Life belongs to God, Chijindu - God is the protector of life, Chinenyenwa - God is the giver of Children, and so on, confirm the Igbo belief in the supernatural origin of life.

This belief in the supernatural origin of life and its necessity for the continuity of the family underpins the moral prohibition of murder and suicide. They are both regarded as Aru (abomination). The person who commits suicide or murder offends Chukwu (God), does harm to himself and the family, and by extension, the community. The Igbo see such crimes as a great curse to a family. In the Igbo traditional society, such offenses, strictly speaking, do not go unpunished. Yes, whether done in secret or in public, a murderer, for instance, is fully aware that a cosmic imbalance has been created by the crime committed and it is only a matter of time before the consequences begin to manifest not just in his/her life but also in the life of the community. Generally, murder is punishable by exile after which the necessary expiations are offered. No one is allowed to spill the blood of another to the extent of taking a life, except in the course of a war. Also, in the case of suicide, victims are often not given proper burial, while purificatory sacrifices are offered by the community.

So far, I have been able to sufficiently demonstrate with examples from Igbo thought and life, the profundity with which the Igbo respect and value life. Such value on life, as argued, is anchored on their belief in the supernatural origin of life as a gift from God, and the necessity of life for the survival of the family, which is yet another great value among the Igbo. As shown above, the family is the natural context for the nurture of life. In other words, any harm done to the family is done to life and vice versa. But the question remains: In what significant ways does the family accomplish the task of nurturing life?

21 Kelvin Chilegidem Nwosu Traditional Education of Children in Igbo Family System: A Challenge to the Missionary/Colonial Education System (Unpublished work, Innsbruck, 1994), 36. 13

1.2 Context for Nurture and Formation

The role of the family in the general formation and development of the child is irreplaceable. The family provides the natural ‘school’ for the basic education of the child. The psychological, moral, cultural and social make-up of the child is often the function of the formation received in his/her immediate environment; the family and by extension the community at large. The family ideals and values he/she receives from birth till adolescence form the basis of his/her personal identity. The parents, siblings, peer groups and elders have roles to play in the nurture and formation of a child. This is also true in the Igbo family. When a child is known for notorious behaviours, the first question the Igbo is wont to ask is “Azụkwara nwa a azụ?” (Was this child formed at all?) or “Kedụ onye mụrụ nwa a”? (Who are the parents of this child?) or “Nwa a o nwekwara nne na nna” (Does this child have parents?) or Kedụ ebe nwa a si? (Where does this child come from?). These are not just mere questions as they appear to be, they are deeper enquiries into nature of the child`s family and upbringing. They are expressions of a mixture of disappointment and bitterness. The Igbo assumes that the child is supposed to behave better, if he/she has a family and if he/she were properly nurtured and formed. Thus, a child whose family background is not known is not the best example for other children. In the nurture and formation of the child, the family plays a vital role. The Igbo culture prescribes the details of the formative elements which the parents of the child are expected to apply in the formative process. This formative process constitutes concrete actions and periods, which are arranged according to the stages of the child’s physical growth and development. The child’s developmental stage could be divided into birth, childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. There are corresponding formative actions which are targeted at each of these stages. Thus, there are minimum moral, social, and cultural expectations demanded by family members and the community when a person attains a particular age in life. In order to systematically articulate the different stages of development and the details of its formative actions, I shall break this discussion into three parts; the first would be focused on childhood formation, the second part on adolescence and the third on adulthood. This division is only for the purpose of clarity and articulation of the subject-matter. The different stages necessarily overlap. The adolescence and adulthood formation start even from childhood.

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Igbo Childhood Formation Stage From the moment a child is born, it behooves on the mother to nurse the child, often with the help of her own mother, who comes for the “Ọmụgwọ”22 (traditional babysitting). The grandmother’s assistance and experience are demanded, especially if the child is the first. This is important because this stage of the development of the child is full of activities that demand special care and experience. I shall avoid the complexity of articulating the details that mark this stage of the child’s formation. However, some of the significant activities that mark this stage of the child’s development include, circumcision23 (Done within 8 days of birth for the male-child), naming-ceremony24 (Baptism also for Igbo Christians), and dedication of the Child to God in the Church (for Igbo Christians). Baptism and child dedication are Christian practices which, apparently, have gained more popularity among the Igbo Christians. Moral, cultural and social values of the Igbo are gradually instilled in the child as he/ she grows. And these values are meant to be part of the child through adolescence and adulthood. Morally, the child is taught to be hardworking, honest, respectful, courageous, generous, forgiving, among others. For these, the parents are the best examples for the child to emulate. They are expected to show good examples to the child, for an Igbo proverb has it that “Nne ewu na-ata nri, ụmụ ya a na-ele anya n’ọnụ” (As the she-goat eats, the kids look at her mouth/ the kids learn from her). This fact is confirmed by Hyginus Chigere, who writing on the Igbo Family observes; Forgiveness of past injuries are encouraged among the children through the example of the parents etc. That is to say, misunderstanding between families, individuals or groups are finally brought to a close by serious warning and regulations to resist from making further advances to revenge. Instead the moral value of ´letting-to-go-by` is seriously stressed, the force of which gives

22 This is the Igbo term for the traditional postpartum care. Immediately after childbirth, the mother, mother-in-law of close female relative of the nursing mother comes to take care of her and her baby. They undertake also some of the house chores in order to enable the new mother have enough rest till she has better recovered from the pains of pregnancy and childbirth. 23 In the past circumcision was for both male and female, but presently circumcision is only for the male. Due to the negative effects of female genital mutilation, females are no longer circumcised. 24 Name is given to the child through a naming ceremony rite that involves the relatives, friends and well-wishers. 15

strength to a licit reconciliation devoid of grudges about old wounds.25 Ada Mere, in an article, also on the Igbo family argues for something similar to Chigere’s thoughts. According to her, “In a traditional Igbo Family, the extended family for that matter, parents and elderly members of the family are models for conduct of children”.26

M. M Green, a British social anthropologist, writing on the Igbo in a book that was first published in 1947, reports “…children tend to be present at many of the doings of their elders (parents) and education is, on the whole, probably a matter of assimilation than of formal teaching”.27 Green wrote this many years ago when the formal education has not been fully developed and when only few children could have access to education in Igboland. She wrote from her firsthand experience of the Igbo society, having lived among the Igbo people from 1934 to 1937. Today, formal education system is better developed, more children have access to schools. Morals are also thought in schools to support what the children informally learn from parents at home28.

The process of socialisation of the child goes hand-in-hand with the moral formation. Some of the specifics of this process will feature in the discussion on gender roles in Igbo family. But one must observe that the areas involved in the socialisation of children are practically unlimited. These also are often intertwined. There are hardly any “iron walls” to divide them. For instance, the value of respect for elders is interwoven with the value of greeting. The values of generosity and hospitality have both social and moral dimensions. At the moment, I shall only discuss the value of “greeting” in Igbo culture.

‘Greeting’ as an essential aspect of childhood formation

Greeting is generally both a sign of respect and politeness among the Igbo. Greetings can appear in different forms, according to the local custom of any given Igbo town. Greeting also processes

25 Chigere Nkem H. M. V, Foreign Missionary Background and Indigenous Evangelisation in Igboland, (Münster: Lit Verlag 2001), 85. 26 Ada Mere, “Contemporary Changes in the Igbo Family System”, International Journal of Sociology of the family, Vol. 6. No. 2, (1976), https://www.jstor.org/stable/23027709?seq=1, (Accessed: September 24, 2018), 57. 27 M.M Green, Ibo Village affairs, (New York: Frederick A. Praeger 1964), 79. (Emphasis mine). 28 For three years I taught Christian moral Education in a secondary school. I observed during this period that some of the moral teachings of the Church are not in conflict with traditional Igbo moral values. We mentioned a few of them earlier.

16 social relationships and coordinate social harmony and integration. They are, in other words, vital linguistic strategies for negotiating integration and harmony at family levels, and at societal levels, by extension. These strategies are together moderated by the social variables of age, relative social status and authority. Age ranks highest and it is relatively dominant.

A child is formed to always greet parents and elders, during mornings, afternoons and evenings, and at any other opportune time. Not-greeting, or even greeting in a culturally inappropriate way can lead to a negative assessment of a person’s character. Such a person is regarded as either arrogant or described as ‘not a good person’ Of such a person, it can also be said that “azụghị ya azụ” (He/she is not well formed/ socialised). Parents are often blamed for the failure of a child to learn this very important social value. For this reason, parents endeavour to properly instill it in the child.

Thus, the nurture of a child within the family circle is one reason why the family is of high value among the Igbo. On can then argue that “the proper upbringing of the child has the supreme value, among other things and a child is assessed by the level of morality, etiquette and discipline it is able to acquire from home and from relatives as well”.29 If respect, expressed through proper greeting is an essential part of childhood formation, then one is considered well-groomed once it is achieved at this stage. And after this stage, comes the adolescent stage.

Igbo Adolescent Formation Stage

Concerning the adolescent stage of child development, Ifeyinwa Isidienu writes that “Adolescent is the process of change from childhood to adulthood. It is a move from being dependent to independent. It is a phase filled with a lot of initiations”.30 Initiations into age-grades, social and cultural unions. The child is exposed to the customs, belief system, laws, social relations and family life of the people. Having reached the age of puberty, the child experiences necessary biological changes on his/her body. At home, the parents guide the child to understand these changes, taking into cognizance their cultural implications. A girl-child for instance, who has begun to experience her monthly menstruation is sternly warned to be weary of indecent friendship

29 Chigere, Foreign Missionary Background and Indigenous Evangelisation in Igboland, 78. 30 Ifeyinwa Cordelia Isiduenu, “The Impact of Culture on the Development of a Child” (2017), https://www.ajol.info/index.php/ujah/article/viewFile/158935/148556, (Accessed: September 24, 2018). 17 with boys. She is always reminded that she is a woman and old enough to have a child. Any mistake made at this phase of the child’s formation could not only be detrimental to the child’s future but also puts the family to shame. Indeed, parents monitor their children very closely at this stage, and ensure that they are not misled by anyone. The children are encouraged by parents to join pious and religious associations in the Church, to practice the virtue of prayer and to follow the life of exemplary persons in the community.

If one were to compare formation at childhood stage with that at the adolescent stage, then one would state that the childhood stage involves a tender, loving care while the adolescent stage involves a conscientious accompaniment. Whatever the child learns at the childhood stage, he/she is expected to practice now in adolescence and subsequently in adulthood. But parents know that the child is still psychologically tender and vulnerable, hence the constant accompaniment at this level. Mistakes can be made, in fact many mistakes are made, but then these are well understood and corrected. This is very important in view of the adulthood where there is a greater level of independence.

Igbo Adulthood Formation Process

Adulthood is the stage of maturity in all its ramifications, with its attendant burden of expectations and responsibilities. It is, therefore, neither the stage of tender care nor conscientious accompaniment but of responsibilities and obligations. Everyone expects that one lives according to the formation received as well as the standards of the society. Although the family has no formative obligation to fulfill at this stage, we must note that it was the formation undergone in the previous stages (childhood and adolescence) that prepares one for adulthood. We mentioned earlier that these stages are interwoven and are targeted towards the maturity of the person. John Mbiti, was right. On initiation ceremony he writes;

Initiation is a public recognition that the individual is now passing from childhood to adulthood…. As long as a person has not gone through initiation, he is regarded as a child. Therefore, he is not given full responsibility at home and in the community. Once the initiation has taken place, he is ready to enjoy full privileges and

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shoulder various responsibilities, both in his immediate family and in the larger community or nation.31 There are many examples of the initiation rite in Igbo land. A very popular instance is that of Obowo town Imo. In this town people have the culture of “Iwa Akwa” as a ceremony which marks the official traditional recognition of one as a man, with all rights and obligations therewith.

In Things Fall Apart, one of the items on Okonkwo’s to-do list, on his arrival from exile, is the initiation of his sons into the ọzọ title. Here is how Achebe puts it:

Even in his first year in exile he had begun to plan for his return. The first thing he would do would be to build his compound on a more magnificent scale. He would build a bigger barn than he had had before and he would he build huts for two new wives. Then he would show his wealth by initiating his two sons into the ozo title.32 From the above, one could glean that the main preoccupation of the family at this stage is no longer formative but supportive. The family supports the adult member in taking up his/her responsibilities and in meeting some of the expectations. The most important on the list of these expectations are economic security and setting up of a new family.

This supportive function of the family towards its adult member illumines the next discussion on the place and status of the family in Igbo life and thought.

1.3 Communion At the center of the life of Africans in general is communion. It is a defining element of their philosophy, and occupies a central position in their religious life. Thus, the concept of communion invokes not just the ideas of physical sharing or mutual exchange, but is deeply rooted in a belief system at the spiritual and ontological level. Indeed, “African spirituality is a community-based spirituality. In Africa, the individual is valued, but the idea of a strictly private or personal salvation is hard to sell to Africans. This has been characterized using several formulas, such as ‘I am,

31 John S. Mbiti, Introduction to African Religion, (Nairobi: East African Educational Publishers 1975), 99. We can draw elements of comparison between Christian baptism and Initiation practices of some African societies. 32 Achebe, The African Trilogy: Things Fall Apart, No Longer at Ease, Arrow of God, 121. Ozo title is a traditional title taken by only men in Igboland, especially in (Nigeria), which confers on the recipient certain rights and obligations in the community. Currently, the ozo title has become very capital-intensive, although it has lost some of its aura to Christianity and modernity. 19 because we are’, ‘we are, because I am’”.33 Orobator narrates a story that practically demonstrates this communal life of Africans. Here is the story;

When European missionaries first came to Africa, one of them met an elderly African. The missionary tried to convert the African to Christianity. So, he said to the African, ‘You must give your life to Christ so that that you can live in peace and happiness in heaven when you die.’ In reply, the African asked, ‘What about my ancestors, my forefathers and foremothers, would they be in heaven too?’ The Missionary replied, ‘Of course not, because they had not given their lives to Christ before they died. They will be on the other side of heaven, where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth,” ‘In that case’, replied the African, ‘I`d better remain as I am, so that when I die, I can be with my ancestors on the other side of heaven.’34 The reference to forefathers, foremothers echoes the special role of the family relationship in expressing and sustaining the foundations of this communion. Marriage and family-life chiefly initiate this communal relationship, sustains, propagates and prolongs it across generations. Put differently, “marriage is the uniting link in the rhythm of life. All generations are bound together in the act of marriage-past, present and future generations. The past generations are many but they are represented in one’s parents; the present generation is represented in one’s own life, and the future generations begin to come on the stage through childbearing”.35 In many parts of Africa, to think of family is to think of marriage. A marital union properly celebrated according to native laws and custom is important in engineering a proper family relationship.

Communion is the nucleus and the sustaining principle of the family in Africa. The family is “dead” and “meaningless” without this principle. The 1994 Synod of Africa in Rome took cognizance of this. At the Synod a question was posed: “Church of Africa, what must you now become so that your message may be relevant and credible? In reply, the African Synod made a fundamental option of the Church as family”.36 This is profound and one could find parallels of this model in Catholic theology. One of the ecclesiological models in Catholic theology is the notion of Church as Communion. The Church reflects the communion between the Triune God

33 Orobator, Theology Brewed in an African Pot, 147 34 Ibid. 35 Mbiti, Introduction to African Religion, 110. 36 Orobator, Theology Brewed in an African Pot, 86. 20 and humanity, the communion of both the living and dead. Likewise, communion is also an integral part of family life among the Igbo.

Francis Arinze argues that, “For the Igbo, as for many Africans, to exist is to live in the group, to see things with the group, to do things with group. Life is not an individual venture, each one for himself”.37 Similarly, Thomas Basden describes this communal spirit, albeit, in a slightly exaggerated tone, when he claims that, “though there may be independent thought, there is seldom independent action, probably never where other members of the tribe or family are involved, however remotely”.38 Hence, as Green remarks, “solitude is held to be a mark of wickedness”.39 Achebe, however, puts it in a rather pithy style; “A man who calls his kinsmen to a feast does not do so to save them from starving. They all have food in their own homes. When we gather together in the moonlit village ground it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so”.40

Earlier in this chapter I mentioned that the Igbo world is an integrated one, a reality that is closely tied to the idea of communion. This implies that all created beings, living and dead, are in communion through symbolic interactions and other networks of relationality. Thus in Igbo worldview, the visible, human world is not strictly divorced from the world of the invisible. Lineage continuity is a cooperative enterprise between these two worlds. Existence in this world involves interactions between the visible and the invisible, and the living and the dead, with each honoring a contract based on mutual interest and reciprocity. Moreover, in a broad and profound sense, Ezinaụlọ, the Igbo word for family, reflects this communion. Ezinaụlọ is integrative of both the living and the dead, those “within” and “without”, those “outside” and “inside”. It is both polar and complementary in nature. Besides, within this Ezinaụlọ is the relational figures of ‘nna’ (father) and ‘nne’ (mother), and ‘nwa’ (child) or ‘umu’ (children). There is however another level of relationship, namely ‘nwanne’ that refers to siblings of the same parents. However, that the Igbo uses the same word “nwanne” to refer not only to brother or sister, but equally to cousin, nephew, niece, is also suggestive of the integrative role and communal character of the family.

37 Francis A. Arinze, Sacrifice in Igbo Traditional Religion, (Onitsha: St. Stephen´s Press Inc, 2008), pp. 5-6. 38 George Thomas Basden, Among the Ibos of Nigeria, (Delaware: Middletown 1921), iv. 39 Green, Ibo Village affairs, 253. 40 Achebe, The African Trilogy: Things Fall Apart, No Longer At Ease, Arrow of God, 117. 21

Furthermore, the communal nature of the Igbo family has both a vertical and horizontal character in its integrative structure. Consequently, it incorporates both the spiritual and temporal realm, in addition to its moral and social implications. The vertical refers to the spiritual and the horizontal refers to temporal. The vertical communion finds expression in the strong religious beliefs and practices of the people, which are strongly influenced by elements from Igbo traditional religion. Religion plays an important role in the life of the people. The existence of a supreme being, Chukwu (Chi- god and Ukwu-Big, supreme), is common among the Igbo. The other objects of worship are the non-human spirits and the ancestors. Some non-human spirits are believed to be wicked or at least unpredictable, while others are thought to be kind and benevolent. All these spirits are believed to influence the affairs of human beings in various ways. Thus, there is a degree of communion and communication between the two worlds.

Without suggesting that the average Igbo still practices the traditional religion in its pristine nature, I reiterate that this religious patrimony still hold sway in the religious consciousness of even converted Christians. For instance, Chukwu (God), which has no Christian origin, nevertheless refers to the Christian God. On this, Ezeh tell us more;

The expression Chukwu was in Igbo lexicon long before the advent of the Christian missionary, but it was used as the name of the pan- clan deity of the highly resourceful Arochukwu people also known as the Aro. These people managed to get the rest of the Igbo and their neighbouring ethnics to believe that the deity was all-powerful, all-knowing, and therefore invested with judicial and transcendental authorities.41 Furthermore, quite a number of Igbo names clearly expresses the vertical dimension of the communal character of the family. Accordingly, Mbabuike explains;

The intimate and constant relationship (communion) between the living and their gods, their chi, results in the proliferation of the prefix chi or Chukwu (meaning ‘personal god’ or ‘Big God’) among the names that the Igbos select for their children. Examples are Chikeluo (God´s perfect creation), Chukwuemeka (God has done greatly), Chukwuma (God knows best), Onyekachukwu (who is greater than God), Chukwudi (God exists), Ngozichukwuka (God’s

41 Peter-Jazzy Ezeh, The Igbo: “Two New Views and a critique” Reviews in Anthropology, Vol. 31, No. 2, (2002), https://doi.org/10.1080/00988150212939, (Accessed: September 24, 2018), 209. 22

blessing is greatest of blessings). These names and others demonstrate the Igbos’ close affinity with their gods.42 Apart from the vertical dimension, the horizontal dimension of the communal character of the family in Igbo life and thought finds abundant expression in the contours and complexions of their social formations. The offshoot of this social formation is the nuclear family. Others are the extended family, kindred, village-groups, and town. Most Igbo towns trace their origin to a founding Father, whose offspring spread to found the towns that are named after them. Thus, the nexus of the diverse formation is the family, ezinaụlọ. Ezinaụlọ embodies values that are replicated outside of itself and is itself reinforced and revalidated by this extension. In other words, the family is recognised as the basis of political representation from village to assemblies through clans. It provided a socially-recognised foothold for one’s projection into larger society and a bulwark of moral and material supports. Support for one another is one outstanding feature of these social formations. In big cities both within and outside of Nigeria, the Igbo have unions that function as instruments for fostering communality. Some of these unions are faith-based while others are ethnic-based, but what is common to all of them is their familial character. Within Nigeria the unions are formed on the basis of town of origin. Indigenes of a particular town who reside outside of their ancestral home, form unions with names such as: Amesi Improvement Union, Aba Progressive Union; Onitsha Development Union, and so on. Outside of Nigeria, the unions tend to be more inclusive, often admitting the participation of any Igbo, regardless of his or her hometown. An example of such is the Igbo Catholic Community USA (ICCUSA). This is familial communion in praxis. Thanks to this communion, many development projects are executed in Igboland by the people without the intervention of the government.

That Igbo associations intervene in the development of their local communities without depending on the government uncovers the communal worldview that determines the Igbo disposition towards wealth distribution. To give example, the Igbo word for a poor person, ogbenye (Ogbe- kin, na-enye- gives) means “one who receives help from one’s kin.” In the traditional Igbo society, charity is not optional but an obligation, because, “this notion of the family makes the excessive accumulation of wealth difficult, since the well-to-do have a traditionally-sanctioned obligation to

42 Michael C. Mbabuike, “The Cosmology of Igbo Anthroponyms: Life continuum and Liturgy of Culture”, Dialectical Anthropology, Vol. 21, No.1, (1996), https://www.jstor.org/stable/29790419?seq=1, (Accessed: September 24, 2018), 50. 23 help others along. In that context, all are their brothers’ keepers and the society looks with disdain upon those unwilling to share their good fortune with their less fortunate neighbours”.43 Again, the Igbo believe that the child belongs to the entire community and not just the parents. This belief is expressed in the sayings “ofu onye anaghị azụ nwa” (a person/family does not train a child alone) and similarly “nwa bụ nwa ọha” (A child belongs to the community). This mindset is often used to justify any act of discipline or correction that the child receives from any member of the community. This is understandable, since the caring and the training of a child is everybody’s responsibility and every person is expected to correct a child whether they are related or not. The bigger picture here is that if the child eventually turns out to be a responsible member of the community, everyone benefits from that, contrary to when he or she becomes a nuisance. By that same token, even an orphan is taken care of by the community. No one is to be abandoned (onye aghala nwanne ya).

Some other Igbo names and sayings also express this understanding of communality. Examples include: Ọhakwe (if the community/people agree), Ọhamadike (a strong person is confirmed by the community), Igwebụike (the multitude is power). Proverbially the Igbo say; “ezuo ka aha udele, atotuo ngịga” (which can be translated as meaning that when we do things together as a community, we make more impact).

That is not all. Igbo communal value is subtly implicated in the democratic republicanism of Igbo traditional political culture, which is encapsulated in the popular saying “Igbo enwe ” (Igbo have no King). This political reality means, among other things, “an utter rejection of monarchical feudalism – which the British colonialists and other detractors of Igbo civilization have deliberately or otherwise, interpreted as rejection of organized central leadership, and preference for rebellion and anarchy”.44 It is this political “default-setting” of Igbo that tends to stifle dictatorial tendencies in the Igbo society. It places the interest of the community over and above that of an individual but without denying the individual the freedom of choice and independence.

43 Okey Martin Ejidike, “Human Rights in the Cultural Traditions and Social Practice of the Igbo of South-Eastern Nigeria, Journal of African Law”, Vol. 43, No.1, (1999), https//www.jstor.org/stable/3085561, (Accessed: September 24, 2018), 86.

44 Umunna H Orjiakor, “Are the Igbo Hated or Loved: Perception of Ndigbo by other Nigerians”, (Enugu, Public Lecture, 2018). 24

This implies that the Igbo “are socially formed in communal democracy, are customarily open to dialogue, and are traditionally inclined to listen others before passing judgment on them.45. In other words, the individual has right to independent thinking and solitary lifestyle, as long as it does not conflict with the common interest of the community. What this implies is that communality does not stifle individuality. In fact, in the Igbo political system there is a balance between communality and individuality. But a life of solitude and loneliness in the midst of immense opportunities to commune is viewed with suspicion. Thus in many instances, when a man of marriageable age shows reluctance or is not financially capable to get married, his kinsmen consult among themselves and get him a wife. They do this because they believe that human life is endangered outside of its natural communal context, which is the family and the family enables the sustenance and prolongation of life.

To summarise the three elements discussed in this chapter, I would say that the family in Igbo life and thought, provides life, nurtures and forms it and puts it into communion with everyone. The structures of this communion exist both vertically and horizontally. I have mentioned a number of them already but I shall trace its basic outline.

1.4 THE STRUCTURE OF THE IGBO FAMILY.

1.4.1 The Nuclear Family

Like many cultures, the Igbo family system makes a distinction between the nuclear and the extended family. The nuclear family is the most basic unit in the socio-political structure of the Igbo. In recent times, a typical Igbo family consists of a monogamous setting of a man, his wife and their child(ren). There may still exist, exceptional cases of more than one wife (polygamy). And where polygamy is the case, “each mother or wife of such a family becomes the root and centre of relationship while the stronghold taken from the father arbitrarily weakens”.46 The role of the nuclear family in Igbo culture cannot be substituted. It is the source and the hub of both individual and communal existence in the society. From this small but very significant unit, power structure develops till it reaches the top level in the town. It performs immense roles in socialising

45 Sebastian Chukwuma Anokwulu, The Ecumenical Imperative & Formation of Ecumenical Consciousness Among Pastoral Workers (Lagos: Intraprints 2013), 114. 46Chigere, Foreign Missionary Background and Indigenous Evangelisation in Igboland, 39. 25 the individual towards recognising and accepting his/her place in the society. The head of the Igbo family is the man, assisted by his wife and then the children, according to their age and gender.

The crucial element which effects and validates a nuclear family in Igbo culture is marriage. A marriage properly celebrated according to native law and custom is necessary to activate the full communal potential of a nuclear family and its approval in the community. The Igbo naturally recoil from whole-heartedly recognising a family not created by marriage. The members of such a family may not be accorded full rights in the community. This is because, marriage in Igbo thought integrates families into a communal whole. The man and woman are not just married to themselves alone but also to the members of their own families. In effect, marriages in Igbo culture create a network of relationship among families. Therefore, a familial relationship not founded on marriage constitutes a threat to the integrity of the communion. In other words, concubinage is disdained in Igbo familial culture and divorce is reluctantly allowed.

As aforementioned, children born into a nuclear family are generally referred to as umunne (Children of the same mother), yet this expression extends beyond the immediate blood relations. As such, the nuclear family structure is not exhaustive of the family practice. It functions as the first point of “arrival” for the child, from where he/she is integrated into the elaborate familial structure made up of other nuclear families, bond together, each, primarily, by marriage. This is the ideal Igbo family because of its elaborate communal nature. “The family is usually extended and large”47, remarks Mere. It is called Umunna (extended Family).

1.4.2 The Extended Family

The nuclear family is a dependent structure because it requires the extended family to sustain its form and “legitimacy” and vice versa. In fact, “the extended family consists of nuclear families related by descent in one line from a living, or newly dead, common ancestor”.48 The extended family can either be patrilineal or matrilineal. Matrilineal is the situation in which status and property are inborn through the maternal line. It has a weak authority set-up, with strong intergroup relationship. On the other hand, patriliny is the family situation in which status and property are

47 Mere, Contemporary Changes in the Igbo Family System, 156. 48 Emmanuel Okonkwo, Marriage in the Christian and Igbo Traditional Context: Towards an Inculturation, (Frankfurt: Peter Lang 2003), 13. 26 inherited through the paternal line.49 The patrilineal type of extended family is common in Igboland. A male figure is specifically at the centre of its formation. Thus, it comprises of a man, his immediate brothers and their families, who trace their common origin at least to the fourth generation. Each husband of the constitutive nuclear families is the head of his own family but the oldest man among them all is the head of the extended family. He enjoys respect and influence both in his own nuclear family and in the extended circle which in Igbo language is called ụmụnna.

The ụmụnna enjoys a special place in the government of an Igbo town and contributes immensely to the general welfare of the town. In an ideal Igbo town, the ụmụnna is spotted in the second rung of the social ladder. Accordingly, Anokwulu writes;

The first tier, the nuclear family members is overseen by the eldest…the second tier, the kindred is overseen by the Okpara- Ukwu (the eldest first son among the first sons), the third tier, the village and the fourth tier, the town…. The town (obodo) is the highest level of political, social and economic organization among the Igbo.50 It is interesting to recognize the fundamental place of the family in the sociopolitical space of a typical Igbo town. In essence, the family system determines and influences the political culture while the political culture reinforces and sustains the family system. This ability of the family to extend itself and to determine the situation of things outside of itself is implicit in the meaning of Ezinaụlọ, earlier analysed. In this vein, Uchendu agrees that “the central figure of the extended family is its structural extension”51.

In order to ensure the continual existence and sustenance of the family, roles are assigned to its members along gender and seniority lines. Gender and age are both significant determinants of family roles. But then, what roles are assigned to the different members of the family on the basis of their gender?

49 Aylward Shorter, African Culture and the Christian Church, in Okonkwo, Marriage in the Christian and Igbo Traditional Context: Towards an Inculturation, 13. 50Anokwulu, The Ecumenical Imperative & Formation of Ecumenical Consciousness Among Pastoral Workers, pp. 112-113. 51 Uchendu, “Ezi Na Ulo: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation”, 185. 27

1.5 ROLES IN IGBO FAMILY

1.5.1 Husband In a typical traditional Igbo family, division of labour clearly exists and the function of each person is often defined. The husband is culturally invested with the leadership of the family, both as a man and as the oldest (in almost all cases) in the family. He is an adult who, by the virtue of marriage is accorded a position of honour, both in the family and in the community, which is also expected to be reciprocated accordingly. In the family, he concerns himself, chiefly with taking major decisions and the provision of the material needs of his wife and children. Consequently, he is expected to be hardworking enough to make this possible. Little wonder the Igbo, often refer to the husband as “Idejiulo” (the pillar of the home). Like a pillar he should be strong enough to bear the burden of the family. Using some typical traditional examples, Mere observes that, “the man provides protection for the family, carries out masculine aspect of farm work, cultivates and furnishes the farm land out of which the family makes a living”.52 In relation to his children, he bears the primary responsibility of exemplifying and teaching them the moral norms of the society. He teaches them good conducts and exercises a reasonable control over their behaviours. He demands respect and obedience from them and would freely discipline them for any misconduct. Towards his wife, the husband represents a loving caregiver, life partner, confidant, and an exclusive sex-mate. He, however expects respect and submission from his wife, especially if he is faithful in taking care of her needs. When compared to the children, his control over his wife is limited, since she, by the virtue of her marital status and, especially, motherhood is accorded great honour within the community. Primarily, it is his function to represent the interest of the family in its external affairs, for instance in the extended family meetings and sundry important gatherings.

52 Mere, “Contemporary Changes in the Igbo Family System”, 157.

28

1.5.2 Wife

She is the “second-in-command” in the family. As the one closest to the children, thus the bearing, nursing and rearing of children are her primary roles.

Indeed, she is an expert in home management whose task is to organise and preserve the domestic resources of the home and to ensure its order and cleanliness.

Towards her husband she is his best partner, adviser and confidant. She cooks his foods and sometimes, may also help with his laundry, especially when the children are still tender to do so. She is expected to be respectful and submissive to her husband and also to support him in the provision of the material needs of the family. In former times, she was given the title “Oriakudiya” (The one who enjoys her husband’s wealth), but with the rise in economic empowerment of women in recent times, many would rather address her as “Osodieme” (The supporter of her husband). In contrast to this form of evolution in the definition of the ‘wife’ in Igbo society, Lawrence Nwankwo argues that, in relation to her husband, a wife should properly be addressed as “Onwe m ọzọ” (my other self).”53 Nwankwo’s submission is based on the present reality of Igbo society that has been greatly influenced by the Christian culture. Thus, his position is in tandem with the Biblical image of a woman as one with the husband (cf. Matt 19:6) as well as the husband’s ‘bone and flesh’ (cf. Gen 2:23).

In relation to her children she is a teacher, a role model, a nurse, a counsellor and a spiritual helper. She makes deep and lasting impressions on the child, owing to her dominant role and presence in the nurture and formation of the child. In fact, it is quite evident that she performs a more important role in the life of the child than her husband. And this is what inspired the , “Nneka” (Mother is supreme). In an interesting passage in Things Fall Apart, Uchendu, Okonkwo’s maternal uncle, speaks;

Can you tell me Okonkwo, why is it that of the commonest names we give our children is Nneka or ‘Mother is Supreme’? We all know that a man is the head of the family and his wives do is bidding. A child belongs to its father and his family and not to its mother and her family. A man belongs to his fatherland and not to his

53 Lawrence Nwankwo, “Onwe m ọzọ“- My Other Self, A Discourse Analytical Approach to Rooting Marriage in Igboland more deeply into the Christian Soil, (Unpublished work, Igbariam, 2018). 29

motherland. And yet we say Nneka-‘Mother is supreme’ Why is that?54 When neither Okonkwo nor the children of Uchendu could rightly answer the questions, Uchendu gave the answers. He continued;

It’s true that a child belongs to his father. But when a father beats his child, it seeks sympathy in its mother’s hut. A man belongs to his fatherland when things are good and life is sweet. But when there is sorrow and bitterness he finds refuge in his motherland. Your mother is there to protect you…. And that is why we say that mother is supreme.55 In a similar vein, Basden observes that, “the mother´s love for the child, and vice versa, are perhaps the most remarkable elements in the (Igbo) family relationships”.56

The wife is often the one who caters for the hospitality of guests and visitors to her home. In short, the existence and degree of happiness, order and peace in the home depend to a large extent on the wife, owing to the greater influence she has in the domestic affairs of the home and in nurture of the children.

1.5.3 Children

Generally, their role in the family is chiefly domestic and dependent. They take instructions from their parents on what to do, how to do it, and what not to do. Under the supervision of their mother children undertake the daily domestic chores in the home and also run errands for their parents. However, in a traditional Igbo family, functions are assigned to children according to their gender and seniority. The aim is not just for immediate needs but this serves as a way of preparing them for future roles in their marital lives. They learn mostly from their parents and the younger ones learn from older siblings. On this Ogbalu, with additional details, observes;

Children learn from their parents or senior brothers and sisters by watching them and doing what and how they observe them do … girls were expected to learn simple virtues, laws of hygiene, simple marketing and trading, preparation of various types of food, cultivation of crops particularly, coco-yam, cassava and care of

54Achebe, Things fall Apart, 94. 55 Ibid. 56 Basden, Among the Ibos of Nigeria, 48 (emphasis mine). 30

children … boys on the other hand learnt directly from their fathers with whom they were always.57

Although Ogbalu considers these roles as obtainable in the past, but one observes that the situation he described still takes places in some places today, especially in the rural areas of Igboland.

Similarly, on girls’ roles in the family, Basden correctly reports;

…girls take a share in the household duties. They begin by carrying water, collecting firewood, robbing floors, assisting in the preparation of food, and then, later on accompanying their elders to the markets where they are initiated into the technicalities of trade.58 He also described boy´s role, thus; By the time a youth is from twelve to fifteen years of age he has become expert in the occupations practiced by elders, and he can take a full share in any work he is called upon to do. He knows how to build, to use the hoe and the matches, and generally to take his place as a useful member of the family and the community.59 In modern times, a few things have changed as result of education and technology. Boys and girls may no longer find interest in the exact same works that their parents do, but at home, parents continue to serve and act as role models to a large extent. Every one, according to strength, age, gender and ability, must make some contributions to the upkeep of the home. Indeed, “such a clear- cut division of labour lessens anxiety and possible clash in role performance”.60 Of course, these roles may serve to lessen the level of anxiety in families, yet family life in Igboland faces enormous challenges both from within and without. We shall now examine some of those challenges.

57 F. Chidozie Ogbalu, Igbo Institutions and Customs, (Onitsha: Varsity Industrial Press 2006), 19. 58 Basden, Among the Ibos of Nigeria, 50. 59 Ibid., 63. 60Mere, “Contemporary Changes in the Igbo Family System”, 157. 31

CHAPTER TWO

EXPLORING THE CHALLENGES OF FAMILY IN IGBOLAND

Having explored the meaning of the family in Igbo life and thought, I shall now explore some of the significant challenges it faces, either from within itself or from external influences. In order to better articulate these challenges I have divided them into three groups, namely; socio-cultural, socio-political/economic, and ideological/postmodern challenges. Socio-cultural challenges represent those challenges that originate primarily from some Igbo socio-cultural practices, beliefs and customs. Socio-political cum economic originate from a combination of political and economic factors both from within and without Igboland. Ideological cum postmodern represent those challenges that emanate primarily from external influences and contemporary ideas that are promoted by global connectedness.

2.1 Socio-cultural Challenges

2.1.1 Marriage itself

Generally speaking, marriage enables people to be committed to one another as husband and wife. At the basic level, it creates a bond that unites peoples and families across ethnic, gender, religious and racial divides. Every culture recognizes in one form or the other the institution of marriage and has both legal and customary stipulations for its celebration.

Among the Igbo, family life is properly conceived within marriage61, for marriage lays the foundation upon which the family institution thrives. “Marriage is so central to the Igbo that nothing concerned with it is taken lightly”.62 It gives “legitimacy” and “credibility” to any familial relationship between people of the opposite sexes. For the Igbo, neither marriage nor family exists for itself. They exist for a number of reasons and are conducted towards the fulfillment of some expectations, which might be social, moral and procreative. It is the fulfillment of some of these expectations that constitute challenges to the marital state and family. So this challenge is rooted in the cultural perception of marriage within the Igbo culture. This perception is so strong to the

61 When we talk of marriage here, we mean the union between a man and woman, celebrated either according to Igbo native law and customs and or Christian Rites. 62 Victor C. Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeast Nigeria (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston 1965), 51. 32 extent that “from the time that boys and girls are capable of thinking for themselves, marriage is set before them as the one object to be attained. During the earlier years it does not assume a serious aspect, but question any boy or girl, and the answer is certain to be that, in due course, they must marry”.63 In the past, the option of celibacy was viewed with contempt. This attitude towards celibacy, however, may have changed a little bit, especially among Catholics who are getting used to it, because of the booming vocations to the Catholic priesthood and religious life in Igboland. But among many non-Catholic Igbo, the idea of a celibate life is still unsettling. Even among the Igbo who are Catholics, unmarried persons of either sex, except in special cases (for example, Catholic priesthood and religious life), are often objects of pity and gossip. “Until the Catholic Christian religion introduced celibacy as a virtue, an unmarried Igbo male cuts a sad picture of hopeless poverty; and the unmarried female was a social disaster”64. It is indeed against the ethos of the Igbo for persons of either sex who has reached the age of marriage to remain single. Such a state of life may be described as pathetic and unfortunate for a female on one hand, and shocking or even wicked for a male, on the other hand. Indeed, it is considered evil. But that is not all. There is also today an additional angle to this challenge, which arises from the negative perception of marriage and the attendant anxiety of being married. Thus, I could further divide this challenge into two major parts: One is rooted in Igbo traditional cultural beliefs about marriage, the other is based on the experiences of married couples in today’s world whose marital challenges create anxiety in the unmarried and demoralises them from getting married. I shall further explore these two positions.

On the challenge arising from Igbo culture, one needs to ask questions like; why is so much premium placed on marriage in Igbo culture? And what is the root of this pro-marital culture? I have made some allusions that address these questions in our discussion of Ezinaụlọ in chapter one. However, to explore a broader perspective to it, we have identified three reasons why marriage is considered a necessity in Igbo culture. These reasons are social, moral and procreative in nature.

63 Georg Thomas Basden, Among the Ibos of Nigeria (Delaware: Middletown, 1921), 51. 64 Victor Chikezie Uchendu, “Ezi Na Ụlọ: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation,” Dialectical Anthropology Volume 31, (2007), https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007%252Fs10624-007-9019-4.pdf, (Accessed: September 24, 2018), 175. 33

The Igbo culture is grounded on social values of solidarity and communion. There is strong emphasis on interpersonal relationship and family ties. Uchendu righty observes that “the central values of Igbo culture are rooted in the social structures, particularly in the extended family. Among such values are the importance attached to mutual dependence; to lineage continuity…”65

A life of solitude is regarded as abnormal. It breeds hatred and suspicion. Such a life threatens the existence and survival of the other lives. Hence the premium on family life and the concomitant pressure to get married.

Related to this, is the value of procreation, which sustains lineage continuity. Lineage continuity is seen as a building block for peoplehood, and it equally fortifies social values. Thus, marriage exists not just to create an environment for communion but also an avenue for procreation. A common marital blessing that is often said by a bride’s father or his representative during any Igbo traditional marriage ceremony, lends sufficient confirmation to this belief. The blessing formular includes the appeal: “anyi na-ayọ maka omụmụ nwoke na omụmụ nwanyi” (we pray for the birth of both male and female children). Thus, procreation is a value that makes marriage highly desirable, and which keeps the unmarried feeling somewhat less fulfilled.

Furthermore, marriage is also considered an effective tool for putting a reasonable control on the moral life of people. In this way, it tends to regulate one’s unacceptable behaviour and lifestyle. We have examples in alcoholism, sexual promiscuity and public nuisance, which put the individual, family members and community into bad repute. The Igbo, therefore, have high regard for married people. They consider them responsible individuals, since marriage “naturally” demands a more responsible lifestyle. Indeed, marital status is often the minimal requirement for considering one capable of taking up leadership positions within some sociocultural and religious groups in Igboland. This situation, however, creates certain pressure for the marriageable but unmarried adults.

Next is the anxiety for marriage. The fear of getting married which stems from a negative perception of marriage. This may seem contradictory, given the high cultural value placed on

65 Uchendu, “Ezi Na Ụlo: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation,” 214. 34 marriage and the pressure associated with not being married. This anxiety, represents, however, a subtle adjustment in the traditional stance on marriage.

In a Lenten pastoral letter, Bishop Paulinus Ezeokafor of Awka Diocese shared his experience about this;

In private conversation with many people, both those already married and those not yet married, both men and women, there is a sense that marriage is a ‘necessary evil’. Some of those not yet married are scared, yet feel they have no option but to go ahead and settle down. Many of those already married are disillusioned and some are going through both physical and emotional abuse and torture. A growing number are actively taking steps to end it all. A young married woman once defined marriage as ‘voluntary self- imprisonment without option of parole’ and many others have admitted that when they attend weddings, they feel sorry for the young couple because of the harsh reality they anticipate the newlywed would surely face in what is supposed to be blissful.66 This is an additional current situation. Getting married elicits now an ambivalence of feelings; on the one hand is the desire to keep some cultural ‘golden rule’ of “thou shall be married”, while on the other hand there is the anxiety felt for a committed relationship based on the challenges of already married couples. Thus, some people are happy that they are no longer single, yet they remain dissatisfied in their marriages. This challenge affects everyone, especially the female. An old Igbo idiom states that the fulfillment of a woman is her husband; the jewel on a woman´s crown is her husband (mma Nwanyi bụ di ya). Similarly the Igbo say that “Nwanyi gafee onye mụrụ, a jụwazie onye na-anụ” (When a woman attains a certain age, the question is no longer about who the parents are but who her husband is). Thus, as soon as a lady reaches thirty years of age, and still remains unmarried, she becomes worried. As a result of this, many girls make the “wrong” choices of mates, just to be married, even when they fear that they might be dissatisfied in the marriage. Others take consolation in their conviction that, despite their unmarried state, their lives are still meaningful. “Even if a marriage is a loveless one, it gives the woman a dignified precise status”67, remarks Mari Vesanummi.

66 Paulinus C. Ezeokafor, The Family: Foundation Once Destroyed, What Can The Just Do? (Ps 11:3), (Awka: Fides Communications 2015), 20. 67 Mari Vesanummi, “Woman´s Position in the Igbo Society According to the Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheta” (University of Tampere School of Modern Languages and translation Studies, English Philology, Post 35

For the man, it is more a question of means than that of age. Normally, as soon he has the financial means, he starts planning on getting a wife. For the Igbo, the ability to meet the cost of marriage is seen as evidence of one’s readiness and maturity. But should he be financially incapacitated, old enough and still unmarried, relatives rally round to assist him. The fear is that his unmarried status makes him morally vulnerable, socially contemptible and childless. Even after marriage, the cultural challenges are not considered completely resolved if there is no child. Let me now take a look at the challenge of childlessness.

2.1.2 Childlessness

Childlessness is certainly one of the most agonising of all the challenges of families in Igboland. To better appreciate this fact we shall, first of all, highlight the Igbo belief about children and childbearing.

The Igbo culture is pro-natal and their value for children in marriage is second to none. “Children are priceless possessions”68, reports Basden. One of the happiest moments of an Igbo family is the birth of a child. Some of the names given to children also express the cultural disposition towards children. Such names include Nwamaka (A child is exceedingly beautiful), Ifeyinwa (nothing is comparable to a child), Nwadiuto (A child brings delight), Nwadiugwu (a child has honour), Nwakaego (the value of child is greater than money) and so on. Thus, the most desirable blessing of marriage is the blessing of a child. “If marriage is the most important event among the Igbos, and a sacred function in which every ‘rational’ man is expected to participate, it is because of its unique place in the transmission of life, procreation and therefore the perpetuation of the family lineage and name”.69 Indeed, “the most essential property of marriage in the traditional set-up is procreation. Hence the Igbo enter into marriage taking reproduction for granted”.70 Fertility is a special index of a successful marriage and family life. Within the first year of the celebration of marriage, friends and relations are already anticipating the signs of pregnancy. When the signs

Graduate Thesis, 2007), https://trepo.tuni.fi/bitstream/handle/10024/78042/gradu01879.pdf;sequence=1 (Accessed June 10, 2019), 29. 68 Basden, Among the Ibos of Nigeria, 48 69 Charles U Anuolam, “Igbo Value and Care for Life”, (Unpublished Work, Pamplona, 1993), https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/83562852.pdf, (Accessed June 10, 2019) pp., 323-324. 70 Emmanuel Okonkwo, Marriage in the Christian and Igbo Context: Towards an Inculturation (Frankfurt am Main: Peter Lang, 2003) 170. 36 seem not forthcoming, they are disturbed and would want to know what might be wrong. Again, from the moment the woman is known to be pregnant till months after her delivery, she receives special care from all and sundry. She might be given special sitting positions in some public gatherings. Friends call her all sorts of lovely nicknames fitting to her pregnancy condition. Prayers are also constantly offered for her and her unborn child.

In the olden days a woman could have as many children as she wants. There were, apparently, no limits to childbearing. She was even conferred with one title or the other in some Igbo towns for having many children. Part of the ritual for bestowing of these titles is the slaughter of a she-goat, popularly called Ewu-Ukwu71 (meaning ‘goat of the woman´s waist’). And ‘waist’ in this sense symbolises childbearing. Indeed, if marriage is the pride of a woman, motherhood is her crown of glory and childlessness her deepest agony. This does to apply to the woman only, but also to the husband and entire relations. The Igbo love for children and their thoughts about childbearing puts pressure on childless families. Moreover, the agony of childless couples is exacerbated by the way the Igbo society celebrates fertile and fruitful couples72. They could do almost anything to have one, even putting their lives at risk. “The desire for children is very absolute for every Igbo man and woman.”73 Any Igbo man, except in special cases, his material riches notwithstanding, is unfulfilled without a child. This is so because every member of Igbo society is expected to procreate and leave behind a posterity that will continue the race. In their prayers they pray for the survival of the lineage when they say “Ama m echila!” (May my lineage never end!). A man who cannot father a child is an object of pity in the society. And a man or woman who does not want a child evokes suspicion. A woman, no matter how good-looking she might be, without a child of her own risks losing her honour in the society. On this, Uchendu adds that; “Motherhood brings an important change in a woman’s status, a change from mistress who simply attracts and allures

71 Celebrated especially in (Obowo, ). Ewu Ukwu which literally means goat for the waist that achieved a great feat; symbolically translated as ceremony for blessed women. It is celebrated for women that had experienced at least ten pregnancies notwithstanding their sexes and the number that is living at the time of the ceremony. 72 As a priest working in a parish, one of the most challenging of my pastoral experiences was listening to the agonies and frustrations of childless couples. They needed emotional support, counselling and prayerful accompaniment but no one, nothing seems to be enough to console them. They tell me all they have done and are yet to do in order to have a child of their own. 73 Bernard K Nwakonobi, Igbo System of Kinship and Family: Christian Response: A study of one of the Pastoral/Moral challenges in Africa (Romae; Pontificium Athennaeum Sanctae Crucis Facultas Theologiae, 1997), 86. 37 to a mother who shares the dignity of her husband and who has increased the lineage membership. Igbo women realise that the romantic aspect of the husband-wife relation does not last as long as the child-mother bond”.74

Another source of this challenge stems from the Igbo understanding of the sexual ends of the male and female bodies. A man’s or woman’s body is considered to be naturally fashioned by Chineke (God the creator), among other things, to be capable of generative ends, the absence of which the man or woman is considered ‘not man/woman enough’. In this light, it is considered impolite to either a man or woman to be told that they are infertile. “The most important (biological) value of a woman is her childbearing capacity. And a childless woman is scornfully called a ‘man’ by less sympathetic people, since she cannot perform the function of childbearing.75 The marital union may be threatened as passion wanes in the face of a childless marriage. In some seemingly hopeless situations, when all efforts at fertility end up fruitless, tensions and anxiety may rise which might eventually culminate to the collapse of the family.

Although the safe delivery of any child is greeted with tremendous joy and celebrations, male children are the cultural favourites. And behind the ardent desire for children is the Igbo’s veiled interest and preference for male children.

2.1.3 Patriarchy

I wish she were a boy, Okonkwo thought within himself.76

The above citation from Chinua Achebe´s book, Things fall Apart, offers us a clue to the patriarchal nature of the Igbo society. The Igbo are sensitive to gender and make a tacit preference for the male child. This preference is itself reinforced and sustained by some traditional beliefs, customs and practices, which we shall subsequently explore.

The Igbo society is characteristically male-dominant. In the family, male children seem to be more “favoured” than their female counterpart. They are looked upon as the future protector and provider of the family. Publicly, the men also feature prominently in the social, political and

74 Uchendu, The Ibo of Southeast Nigeria, 57. 75 Nwakonobi, Igbo System of Kinship and Family, 107, (emphasis mine). 76 Chinua Achebe, The African Trilogy: Things fall apart, No longer at Ease, Arrow of God (New York: Everyman´s Library, 1992), 122. 38 economic life of the society and thus are primarily responsible for taking major decisions that affect the life of everyone. There are however, parts of Igboland with a matrilineal and double- descent family systems. But “In Igbo (land), generally, the family follows a patrilineal descent…the role which a man, the “head of the home” plays in Igbo society gives prominence to the preferential importance the Igbos give to the male-folk, and consequently to patrilineal system”77. Basden reports, albeit with a tinge of exaggeration that; “between boys and girls the comparison is all in favour of the former, the latter only counting as a useful accessory in the life of a man”.78Although the value placed on children in general is high and none counts as accessory to the other, male children are desired the most. The reasons for this are clear. Here is how Isiugo articulates it;

A man who died without a son lived a worthless life; he is inherited by his brothers, and is soon forgotten since his branch of the family tree has ended…also, in traditional Igbo society, the status of a man is assessed in part by the number of his sons, a man with many sons is viewed as a wealthy or an accomplished man; his neighbours cautiously avoid confrontation or litigation with him; he is assured of a befitting burial at death. For a woman, the birth of male child is of paramount importance as well, because it establishes her firmly in the family. She is said to have ‘taken root’ or ‘established a solid foundation’ when the first son arrives. Since the birth of a son ensures marital security, given the prevailing high childhood mortality, just a son is not enough. The desire to ensure that at least one survives his father encourages prolific childbearing.79 It is not particularly clear how the Igbo or any other patriarchal society is able to successfully design a culture that places more premium on the male-child over the female-child. The ultimate foundation of this belief, its origin, may be traced to discriminatory tendency found in all human societies. The tendency to define oneself along national, racial and religious lines with the inherent consequence of a delusive superiority mindset. This submission is however beyond the scope of this work to further explore.

77 Nwakonobi, Igbo System of Kinship and Family, 97. 78 Basden, Among the Ibos of Nigeria, 61. 79 Isiugo Abanihe, “Socio-cultural context of high fertility among the Igbo”. Paper presented at a Seminar on Women and Demographic Change in Sub-Saharan Africa (Senegal: Dakar, 3-6 March 1993), 6 cited in Ezebunwa E. Nwokocha, “Male-child Syndrome and the Agony of Motherhood among the Igbo of Nigeria,” International Journal of Sociology of the Family, Vol. 33, No. 1 (2007): 219-234; 220. 39

What is, however, clear to me are the structures of belief and practices that are instrumental to the sustenance of the patriarchal system in the Igbo society. These structures are not the cause of it but the bulwark that sustains and propagates it. Here is how Ukaegbu condensed this idea;

“They want many sons to boost their prestige, to build a formidable force within the family…to continue the progeny…to ensure that their property is not inherited by the enemy…and to give them grand burial.”80

Lineage continuity and inheritance are undoubtedly, the strongest “forces” that are implicated in the sustenance of Igbo patriarchal system. In the Igbo society, “descent is traced through the father’s line (patrilineal) and the pattern of residence is male-centered (patrilocal)”81. It follows, therefore, that having at least a son becomes sine qua non for the continuity of the father’s line of descent. According to custom, a father ought to teach his eldest son, who undoubtedly is the heir, the traditions of the society. Any Igbo family without a male child is thus considered as heading towards extinction. Some family or male names in Igboland “bring out this ardent belief in male succession; names such as Obiefuna, Obiechina, (may my lineage never be extinct), or Afamefuna (may my name never be lost)”82. It is Igbo custom that children should be surnamed with their family name i.e., the name of their father or grand-father. But girls answer their father´s name only as long as they are unmarried. “Once married, they take their husband´s name. So, by marriage a girl loses her original family name, except for the ‘nee’ compounded in order to show that patrilineal affiliation she still has with her paternal home. Boys on the other hand retain it and pass it on to their children, thereby, maintaining the patrilineage.”83

The father’s name alone is not what the son inherits; he also inherits his properties. Should a man die leaving even ten female children and no male child, his brothers will inherit his properties. His female children, their number notwithstanding, are not allowed to inherit their father’s properties

80 A. O. Ukaegbu, Marriage and Fertility in East central Nigeria, in, Nwakonobi, Igbo System of Kinship and Family, 103. 81 Nwokocha, “Male-child Syndrome and The Agony of Motherhood among The Igbo of Nigeria,” pp. 228-229. 82 Michael C. Mbabuike, “The Cosmology of Igbo Anthroponyms: Life Continuum and Liturgy of Culture,” Dialectical Anthropology Vol. 21, No.1 (1996): 47-65; 48. 83 Nwakonobi, Igbo System of Kinship and Family, 103. There are however, cases where the woman does not lose her original family name. Thus, some women insist on keeping their family name or joining it with that of their husband. Such a practice is not forbidden. And this demonstrates the liberal minds of the Igbo, tradition and custom notwithstanding. 40

(But this situation is changing in recent times), except by charity….”but this can never happen if the man dies leaving behind him a baby boy, even a day old male child”84.

One must note, however, that this situation is not exactly the same in those parts of Igboland that are matrilineal, although their numbers are very insignificant when compared to patrilineal Igbo communities. Moreover, in the matrilineal Igbo communities, according to the findings of Uchendu “men are in authority over women, no matter the descent system”.85

Another cultural consideration that sustains patriarchy is social support and security at old age and befitting burial at death. The findings of Nwokocha support this assertion. According to him;

“One factor that was acknowledged by most interview respondents is social security for the elderly by their sons. In addition, the responsibility of burying dead parents is solely that of sons, while daughters and their husbands can support in some prescribed way but without definite sanctions on failure to contribute as exactly as requested.”86

Furthermore, “A woman, and worst still, a man who has no male child contemplates old age with particular horror”87, remarks Uchendu. Children are generally welcome as God’s blessings to the family, but male children represent a certain form of abundance. A woman without a male child is pitied88.

Patriarchy presents a number of challenges to the family. Its preference for the male-child encourages discriminatory practices that hamper the full development of the potentials of the female-child. Ideally, the female child plays the role of the second fiddle in the family and is allowed to operate within limited socio-cultural and economic space. According to Uchendu; “The

84 Ibid., 102. (Emphasis mine) 85Uchendu, “Ezi Na Ụlọ: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation,” 206. 86 Nwokocha, “Male-child Syndrome and the Agony of Motherhood among the Igbo of Nigeria,” 229. 87 Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeast Nigeria, 57. 88 As a boy I knew a woman (Say Ifeoma) in my neighbourhood who had five children, all of them females. One day she was quarrelling with her neighbour (say Chidinma). They called each other all sorts of unprintable names. But the fuss abruptly came to an end as soon as Chidimma mockingly reminded Ifeoma that she has no male child. She (Chidinma) said to her “If I were you I would hide my face in shame and never talk publicly because God has not given you a “special seat” (a male child) in your marriage”. Ifeoma was really hurt. She never responded but mournfully went into her house. Today as an adult, I still recall this picture and now better understand the challenges suffered by marriages without a male child in Igboland. 41 greatest failure of Igbo stratification system is the few opportunities it offers to women before they attain menopause”.89

Consequently, the woman finds herself at the mercy of the man. Men take major decisions that run the family and the larger Igbo socio-cultural90 space. When the man dies or is incapacitated to take care of the family; the woman, because she is, largely dependent on him, is often also incapacitated to manage the family. This situation may lead to the breakdown of the family, and children are put in harm’s way. Indeed, the seeming reluctance of the Igbo society to open up larger opportunities for women to participate prominently in the life of the society account for some tensions in families. It makes the womenfolk highly vulnerable and prone to exploitation. Moreover, this situation also has self-destructive consequences for the Igbo society; when the potentials of the women are underdeveloped and limited opportunities are offered to them, society is deprived of whatever contributions they would have made to its development. Moreover, patriarchy could lead to exhaustion among men as a result of their dominance in the running of the society.

Furthermore, lack of a male-child in the family can lead to tensions in marriage. Accordingly; “…studies reveal that the inability of women to have male-children has largely been responsible for breakdown of marriages in Africa. Although some men are ready to grapple with their wives infecundity on one hand or the inability to give birth to the ‘preferred child’ on the other hand,…family and peer pressure contribute significantly to making marriages ‘empty-shell’”91

Moreover, in the attempt to give birth to the preferred gender, women put their health at risks. Some conceive excessively, and if after several efforts the preferred child is not forthcoming, depression sets in, which may impact negatively on family relationship. Perhaps, ‘undesired’ female children from a ‘male-expectant’ pregnancy may be deprived of the best of parental care. Women who give birth to only female children do not feel culturally satisfied and well settled in

89Uchendu, “Ezi Na Ụlọ: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation,” 193. 90 The biggest Igbo sociocultural and political group in the world is Ohanaeze Ndi Igbo, with its headquarters in Nigeria. The group “represents all Igbo communities within and outside of Nigeria” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohanaeze_Ndigbo). While writing this work, I was curious to find out whether there are women among its national executive members. I found no female member. Is it not surprising that a group that represents the interest of every Igbo in the world (male and female), has no single female among its national executive members? Here is a link with a list of its national executives, as at the time of writing this work; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohanaeze_Ndigbo. 91 91 Nwokocha, “Male-child Syndrome and the Agony of Motherhood among the Igbo of Nigeria,” 221. 42 their marriage. It is a thing of pride to have both male and female children. But it is culturally preferable to have all-male to all-female children. For with the male child, the continuity of the lineage is secured. But this is not so with the female child, since she is expected to be married out, live with her husband and populate his own lineage. However, this picture is not so grim for women in Igbo society. In fact, in some cases, females receive more care than males, although not to the extent that the latter is disadvantaged.

2.1.4 The Extended Family.

The extended family is one of the popular and important socio-cultural and ethical institutions of Igbo traditional society. It is a composite of different nuclear families who trace their origin by blood to the same forefather. They are, therefore bound by a kin network of interlocking functions and reciprocities. They see themselves as one family and support one another. Bernard wrote a dense summary of the functions of the extended family. According to him;

Inherent in every fact and impression that one gets from the study of the extended family is its emphasis upon the group rather than the individual. This group emphasis expresses itself in a number of ways: Members are each other´s keepers; problems are solved and crisis are met by sticking together; rites and ceremonies are arranged as a group, and they share joys, triumphs and victories together. The child in the system has security. He does not depend upon one man who may be dead or ill or irresponsible. Rather, he depends upon the lineage for his livelihood. When he is in trouble, the lineage comes to his assistance; when he is bad, the lineage corrects him.92 The extended family in Igboland is, in fact, the strongest social security system. It also teaches traditional education and discipline to its members. Prior to the adoption of a Western political culture in Nigeria, and with government expected to assume the responsibility of providing basic social support for the people, the Igbo extended family system has played this role and still does so today. It is of immense socio-cultural and economic benefit to the Igbo.

The extended family, however, faces a number of challenges both within and outside of itself. It is shaken by the combined effects of dependency syndrome, poverty and superstitious beliefs.

92 Nwakonobi, Igbo System of Kinship and Family, 179. 43

Mutual support which is an integral feature of the extended family is often abused by some members of the family. Some members depend solely on the generousity of others. They may be reluctant to work hard and cater for themselves because of the support they hope to receive from the other members of the family.

Economic deprivation occasioned by failure of political leadership in Nigeria constitutes a great challenge to many families in Igboland. And the extended family, which should represent a cushion effect from these challenges, is now itself ridden with challenges; a certain dependency syndrome that is prone to give rise to laziness, lack of creativity and industry. Some couples within the extended family, whose livelihood depends on a meagre economic source, keep on bearing children, in the expectation that any other member of the extended family will take care of the children. When their expectation does not materialise, the children themselves are left without care to the detriment of the family and community. This leads to rise in poverty and crimes rates.

With some family members dependent on richer members, there arises sometimes the vice of envy. The richer members of the family may be accused of impoverishing others by means of witchcraft. Accusations and counter-accusations of witchcraft and occultic practices create a situation of distrust and suspicion with negative consequences for the family. The extended family which serves as the fulcrum of support and succor has now, in some kindreds, being ‘demonised’. Bishop Paulinus Ezeokafor gave an interesting insight into this. He writes;

At the root of the demonization of Umunna is the popularisation of a way of interpreting negative experiences. Evil spirits and “bad” people are always implicated in the suffering, sickness, economic hardship, death, infertility and other negative experiences people go through.This is usually articulated in the expression ‘ọ gbaghị aka’ (it is not natural/ some evil person (spirit) is behind it)….the search for the agent behind the negative experiences people go through often focuses on one´s kith and kin; those who are close to person. This is in line with the saying “ọ bụ onye ma mmadụ na-egbu ya” (only those who stand to benefit therefrom can contemplate harming someone). This is how members of the ụmụnna (extended family) become suspect.93

93 Ezeokafor, The Family: Foundation Once Destroyed, What Can The Just Do? (Ps 11:3), pp., 10-11. (Emphasis mine) 44

This sad situation contributes to the challenges the Igbo family is facing in recent times. It threatens the most essential values of Igbo family, namely, life and communion. In an atmosphere of distrust and suspicion, members tend to play safe by minding their “business”. Consequently, communal life breaks down.

But here is another discriminatory practice in parts of Igboland that threatens communal values of the family. Though it is gradually fizzling out, its remnant still exist in parts of Igboland. This practice is called “”.

2.1.5 Remnants of Osu Caste System.

The osu caste94 system has its roots in Igbo Traditional religion. It is part of the remnants of the pristine religion of the Igbo that has not fully been displaced by Christian culture and civilisation. Chinua Achebe offers us a broad description of an osu;

He (she) was a person dedicated to a god, a thing set apart-a taboo forever, and his children after him. He could neither marry nor be married by the free-born. He was in fact an outcast, living in a special area of the village, close to the Great shrine. Wherever he went he carried with him the mark of his forbidden caste-long tangled and dirty hair. A razor was taboo to him. An osu could not attend an assembly of the free-born, and they, in turn, could not shelter under his roof. He could not take any of the four titles of the clan, and when he died he was buried by his kind in the evil forest.95 One important element in the definition offered by Achebe that is relevant for our discussion in this work is the social segregation that an osu suffers. Today, segregation still features across some parts of Igboland where the osu caste system still survives, albeit skeletally. As a result of the acceptance and predominance of Christianity in Igboland, there is hardly any more shrines and

94 I still remember clearly how I came to my first knowledge of the Osu Caste System. It was in a Catholic community in Igboland. I was still a boy. I not only attended Mass daily but also served regularly at Mass. In our parish was a young pretty lady (Chioma-not her real name) who was outstanding for her musical talents. Parishioners thought her voice was the best and she featured both in the Church choir and the gospel-band group. Any Sunday she sings in the gospel-band, one wished that the mass never ended. Chioma was indeed admired and loved by all and sundry. As a child I admired her so much and even fantasised getting married to her. She has all the physical features most men say they wanted in a woman. I enquired to know who was her husband, fiancée or boyfriend. She had, surprisingly, neither of those, but not because she never wanted. She was osu. I was shocked. How could a girl who everyone admires, whose voice gladdens our heart when she sings, suffer such discrimination? I wondered. What then is the Osu Caste System and what are its implications for family in Igboland? 95 Achebe, The African Trilogy: Things fall apart, No longer at Ease, Arrow of God, 110. (Emphasis mine) 45 deities to which one can be dedicated to as an osu. No new osu is being dedicated. Those who are, today, called osu are but a sad vestige of the Igbo traditional religious past. They are the descendants of the osu who were dedicated to deities in times past. In the past one could become an osu in a number of ways; “A person could have himself so dedicated to a spirit spontaneously, or in payment of a big debt to this alụsị (deity), or to escape unscrupulous molestations of evil neighbours. In some places a person could become an osu by the mere fact of crossing the innermost sanctuary of a shrine. But the normal thing was to dedicate slaves or force unwilling people to become osu”.96

An osu is socially emasculated. They are generally despised. “He is feared because the diala97 do not know how to interact with him without offending the deity. He is hated because the osu remind the diala of their guilt”98. As a consequence, he is not allowed to take any title or marry a diala (freeborn citizen). If he must marry, then it must be to a fellow osu, and their offspring and generations after them become, ipso facto, ndi osu99 (this is the plural). “The Igbo society grudgingly allows social intermingling between a freeborn and an osu, but not such a sanguine relationship as marriage.”100 Once an osu, always an osu. Accordingly, the Igbo believe that an osu will remain an osu forever and ever, even if he were a baptised Christian. This is seen in Chinua Achebe´s book No longer at Ease. In the book, Obi´s father, who is a Catechist in the Catholic Church, sternly reproached Obi for wanting to marry Clara, an osu in these words;

Osu is like a leprosy in the mind of our people. I beg you, my son, not to bring the mark of shame and leprosy into your family. If you do, your children and your children´s children unto the third and fourth generations will curse your memory. It is not for myself I speak; my days are few. You will bring sorrow on your head and on the heads of your children. Who will marry your daughters? Whose

96 Francis A Arinze, Sacrifice in Igbo Traditional Religion, 2nd ed. (Onitsha: St. Stephen´s Press, 2008), 177. 97 Diala is a freeborn, full citizen, who enjoys an ascribed, generalised status. Diala status confers a pan Igbo citizenship in the sense that a Diala in one Igbo Corporation is guaranteed the same status in another corporation. 98 Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeast Nigeria, 89. 99 This was how Chioma (in our story earlier on the previous footnote) inherited her osu status. Even among fellow Catholic Christians, no one wanted to have any serious relationship with her. Although they admired her beauty, talents and praised her commitment to the Church, but any attempt to marry her would be like “taking a good joke too far”. Men who were unaware of her osu status and wanted to marry her, were immediately cautioned by other people. Those who may dare to damn the consequences and go on with the marriage were severely antagonised by family members. 100 Okonkwo, Marriage in the Christian and Igbo Context: Towards an Inculturation, 50. 46

daughters will your sons marry? Think of that my son. We are Christians, but we cannot marry our own daughters.101 As if those words were not enough to discourage Obi, Hanna, his dying mother also added her voice and with a threat; “I have nothing to tell you in this matter except one thing. If you want to marry this girl, you must wait until I am no more. If God hears my prayers, you will not wait long. But if you do the thing while I am still alive, you will have my blood on your head, because I shall kill myself.”102

And here is the fundamental challenge: The osu caste system deals a direct blow at the core of the Igbo familial value, i.e., Ezinaụlọ as communion. Contradictory to the central thesis of ezinaụlọ, no one bothers when the osu does not get married. No one is troubled when they do not bear children, after all their procreation represents a multiplication of contemptible and socially unfit people in the society. If they must marry, they can only marry themselves. But their marriages enlarge their circle of woes.

Accordingly; “the most important single failure in Igbo social structure was the osu system”103, remarks Uchendu. “It constitutes the greatest contradiction to Igbo equalitarian ideology”.104

Indeed, the osu caste system creates social friction that impacts negatively on community life, beginning from the family. What is more, enmity often arises between the purveyors of the osu caste system and its critics. “Today, no new osu is being dedicated but many traditional religionist and some half-hearted Christians still observe these practices towards the descendants of ndi osu, and still hesitate or refuse outright to have any marital connections with them”.105 Family members and communities have been divided among themselves because some members are osu. A young man or woman who insists on marrying an osu, against their parental consent, causes deep division in the family, whose span and ripples may affect future generations.

101Achebe, The African Trilogy: Things fall apart, No longer at Ease, Arrow of God, pp. 256-257. 102 Ibid., 258. 103Uchendu “Ezi Na Ụlọ: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation,” 193. 104Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeast Nigeria, 89. 105Arinze, Sacrifice in Igbo Traditional Religion, 180. 47

The osu caste system has remained, in some parts of Igboland resistant to change. And in places where changes have occurred, it will take some time to eradicate it completely from the consciousness of the people.

In 1956, the system was legally abolished by the Eastern Nigerian government, but the practice continued unabated. And just recently (28th December, 2018), there was another attempt to abolish osu caste system, but this time, traditionally. The news headline reporting plans for this second abolition reads “Igbo Monarchs, leaders end Osu Caste System”106. Excerpts from the news reads;

“The controversial osu caste system will end in south-east states as the final ceremonies for its abolition holds in Nri, the ancestral home of the Igbo nation Friday…. The Ohu, Ume and Osu caste systems are obnoxious practices in the South-east and much of the South-south regions of Nigeria, which has torn families and friends apart for generations.107

Another online newspaper (vanguard) in its editorial also reported the planned abolition. An excerpt from it also reads;

December 28th 2018 has also been set aside by Eze Nri, leading other major Igbo traditional rulers, to phase out the caste system in all communities in Igboland where it is practised. A statement by the Chairman of the Eri Dynasty Traditional Rulers Forum, Eze Nkeli Nzekwe, declared: “It’s time to end this once and for all and unite our people for the new era. It’s time for our estranged brothers and sisters who were sold into slavery to return home. We are more than ready to atone for the sins of our forefathers and reunite with our kith and kin in America, Europe, the Islands, and beyond. It’s time.” The Osu caste system, which is prevalent in Anambra, Imo and some areas in Ebonyi states, discriminates against families which in the ancient times were dedicated to the local deities because human sacrifice was required to cleanse the land of abominations. The osu were mostly slaves and other categories of persons considered as “inferior”, as opposed to those who were “freeborn” or “Nwadiala”. As outcasts, they were discriminated

106 This Day Newspaper 2018, “Igbo Monarchs, Leaders End Osu Caste System Friday” https://www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2018/12/28/igbo-monarchs-leaders-end-osu-caste-system-friday/ (Accessed December 28, 2018) 107 Ibid. 48

against and not accepted by the mainstream of society.108

Prior to the set-date for the abolition, there were TV-presentations to enlighten the people about the osu caste system and some programmes for the abolition. I followed the discussions and consider the discussions very interesting.109 The event was eventually held on the 28th of December 2018 and was reported by a leading national media, Channels TV110.

Now that the osu Caste system has been abolished in Igboland both legally and traditionally, what remains to be seen is the practical effect of the abolition. What can the Church in Igboland do to bring this into effect and to unite estranged families together again?

No doubt, the harm done to the Igbo family by the osu caste system is enormous. The division and disunity it created is deep. But there is yet another historical event that still has divisive impact in families across Igboland. Unlike the osu Caste system, which has cultural roots, this other challenge is rather socio-economic and political.

108 Adekunle, Vanguard Newspaper, “Ending the Osu Caste System in Igboland” https://www.vanguardngr.com/2018/11/ending-the-osu-caste-system-in-igboland/, November 19, 2018, (Accessed December 28, 2018). 109 Channels Television, “Joseph Okechukwu Talking Osu Caste Abolition on Channel TV's Sunrise Daily”, December 8, 2018. YouTube Video, 11:34min. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOhvJm00YAs (Accessed June 6, 2019). 110 Channels Television, “Igbos Reaffirm Abolition of Obnoxious Osu Caste System,” December 30, 2018. YouTube Video, 3:20 min. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGUqFYpsRp4 (Accessed June 6, 2019).

49

2.2 Socio-economic Challenges:

 Inadequate social security.  Tribalism.  Migration.

I consider the socio-economic challenges as manifest in three forms, namely inadequate social security, tribalism and migration. I shall therefore, discuss all these forms together.

These challenges originate primarily from external sources. Unlike the socio-cultural challenges which we located within the life of the Igbo, socio-economic challenges are rooted mainly in the socio-economic realities of the modern times and the encounter of the Igbo with these realities.

For a better grasp of this section, we shall begin with a few words on Nigeria in general. This is necessitated by the fact that Igboland is located within the state of Nigeria. Whatever socioeconomic problems that affect Nigeria as a whole, also affect Igboland in particular.

Nigeria is a country with numerous tribes, peoples and languages joined together as one country by British colonialists in 1914. 46 years later; in 1960 Nigeria became politically independent from Britain. But 59 years after independence Nigeria is yet to be socially stable and economically progressive. Nigeria is undoubtedly the largest economy in Africa. It is endowed with numerous mineral resources. With a population of about 200 million111, Nigeria has the largest population of black people on earth. Economically, Nigeria “has huge strategic significance to Africa and the world at large” particularly as “one of the largest oil exporting country in the world”112. But these resources notwithstanding, Nigeria is still considered to be a poor country with a Gross Domestic Product (GDP) of about 375.77 billion US dollars in 2017113. As at the time of this research, Nigeria was ranked by the World Poverty Clock as the country with the largest number of people living in extreme poverty. Thus it is estimated that 93 million Nigerians live in extreme poverty.114

111 “Nigeria Population (live)” 2019, https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/nigeria-population/ (Accessed June 6, 2019). 112 Daniel Workman, “Crude Oil Exports by Country,” May 28, 2019, http://www.worldstopexports.com/worlds-top- oil-exports-country/ (Accessed June 6, 2019). 113 “Nigeria GDP”, n.d, https://tradingeconomics.com/nigeria/gdp?poll=2019 (Accessed June 6, 2019). 114 World Poverty Clock, May 2019, https://worldpoverty.io/ (Accessed June 7, 2019). 50

However probable these estimates and data might be, the fact remains that many Nigerians still suffer from abject poverty and a gross inadequacy of basic social amenities and infrastructure.

Naturally, as part of Nigeria, Igboland is also affected by the socio-economic problems of Nigeria. Some Igbo families suffer terribly as a result of this situation. A dearth of employment opportunities, deficit in key infrastructures like power and roads, inefficient medical health delivery system and so on, are significant factors that make life difficult for families in Igboland.

There are historical antecedents and political backgrounds to the current socio-economic challenges of the Igbo (and other tribes) in Nigeria. It would amount to unnecessary details to fully discuss these historical antecedents here. But suffice it to mention that the Nigeria- war/Civil war of 1967-1970, tribal and religious affiliations of political leaders in Nigeria are significant in explaining this current socio-economic failure. The civil war devastated families and impoverished many others. The plundering of Igboland by the Nigerian government during the war emasculated it economically. After the war the Igbo were given only 20 pounds from whatever they previously had in the banks. Their landed properties outside of Igboland were declared ‘abandoned properties’ and were either confiscated by the government or auctioned. Upon till now, Igboland is yet to fully recover from the consequences of the civil war. This is a fact. In fact, a unique study done in 2017 with the title First and Second Generation Impacts of the Biafran War has identified some “long- term impacts of the 1967-1970 , providing the first evidence of intergenerational impacts”115 on the Igbo. The study identified a broad spectrum of negative impacts, ranging from health and education to economy. The ripple effects of these impacts are still perceptible today in Igboland. In Nigeria in general, social security and wealth distribution is uneven, with a huge gap between the extremely rich and extremely poor masses. Wealth resides in the hands of a few who have access to the public coffers and who uses the wealth for their selfish interests. Over the years the middle class has also shrunk. This has led to increase in crime rates, with many families struggling to eke out a decent living. For instance, at any instance of power failure, only the rich can afford an alternative supply of electricity.

115 Richard Akresh, Marinella Leone, Sonia Bhalotra and Una Osili, “First and Second Generation Impacts of the Biafran War,” Institute of Labor Economics, Discussion Papers No. 10938 (August, 2017), http://ftp.iza.org/dp10938.pdf (Accessed June 7, 2019) 51

The rich train their children in the best schools abroad or private schools in Nigeria while the poor populate poorly managed public schools.

Tribalism also loom large in Nigeria`s socio-political space and contributes to the weakening of the economic life of the Igbo. Quite unfortunately, the “Nigerian political class has not been able to address the problem of tribalism since the end of the Nigerian civil war in 1970”.116 Tribal and religious sentiments dictate the tone of appointments to ‘juicy’ positions in the land. Generally, the government in power at the centre concentrates primarily in projects that bring development to the particular tribe or religion of whoever is the president117, to the detriment of others. For instance, the current president of Nigeria (Muhammadu Buhari) who comes from the north, had in 2017 requested the World Bank president Jim Yong Kim to concentrate their developmental projects in Nigeria in the northern part. This was broadly reported in almost all the national dailies in Nigeria.118 And this explains the lop-sidedness of developmental projects in Nigeria. Many Igbo families, but not only Igbo families, are subjected to excruciating experience of poverty. Deprivation of basic social amenities has become the normal experience for families. Many families live as if the government does not exist. Some communities, in other to ameliorate these challenges and in the spirit of ezinaụlọ, pool their resources together to provide for themselves some amenities. Many individuals move to the big commercial cities, often in far places and countries in search of a better life. And this point brings us to another challenging experience for Igbo families, i.e., urban migration. One attendant consequence of socio-economic imbalance in any country is that it forces citizens to abandon their homeland and families for other cities and countries.

For a finer articulation of this point, I shall divide Igbo migration into two patterns, namely, internal and external. Internal migration refers to the movement of people away from their villages or rural areas to the urban areas within the same state or region. Accordingly, the movement of the

116 Charles O. Ofoche, “Socio-Economic Problems in Nigeria: Causes and Remedy,” Unpublished Thesis for the Master of Strategic Studies Degrees, U.S. Army War College (March, 2012) https://apps.dtic.mil/dtic/tr/fulltext/u2/a561627.pdf, (Accessed June 7, 2019). 117 The Goodluck Ebele Jonathan´s Administration (2010-2015) was however an “exception to the rule”. 118Oyetunji Abioye, Punch Newspaper “Buhari asked us to Focus on Northern Nigeria -World Bank,” October 13, 2017, https://punchng.com/buhari-asked-us-to-focus-on-northern-nigeria-wbank/, (Accessed June 7, 2019). 52

Igbo from their villages to some commercial cities and urban centres, like Onitsha or Aba, within the South-eastern Nigeria is referred here, in this work, to as internal migration.

In any part of Nigeria outside Igboland, the Igbo are said to be the second largest population, outside the indigenous people. The Igbo are a progressive and industrious people. They are famous in Nigeria for their enterprising and trading skills. For instance, in Lagos, the commercial headquarter of Nigeria, the Igbo are outstanding in trade and business. The British anthropologist Green reports from her study of the Igbo thus; “money, the economic symbol, bulks large in the minds of these people, inveterate traders as they are, with market transactions that amounts almost to a genius”.119

Accordingly, the movement of the Igbo from the south-eastern region to either the north, west of Nigeria or across the borders of Nigeria is here referred to as external migration. There are today countless Igbo migrants in major cities of the world. Apart from the reasons of business, trade and education, there is also concern for the security of their lives from the attacks of terrorist in parts of Nigeria. As a result of migration, many families have lost contact with one another and the cohesiveness of family union is greatly ruptured. In the words of Gerald Tanye, migration “affects the traditional family system in no little manner. It leads to isolation of people from their traditional families and promotes the syndrome of individualism and self-centeredness”.120 This has become the sad experience of many Igbo families today. Thus migration has, indeed challenging impacts on the communal value of the Igbo family system. It has though, its immense benefits. But our primary concern is to demonstrate the challenges it poses to Igbo family. Some migrants have lost their cultural embeddedness as a result of adaptation in foreign lands. The next set of challenges stem partly also from this experience.

2.3 Modern/Ideological Challenges

The following challenges represent contemporary threats to the Igbo family value. These are strong influences that mainly originate from the western world. And their negative impacts contribute to the challenges of family life in many parts of Africa.

119 M. M. Green, Ibo Village Affairs (New York: Frederick A. Praeger Publisher), 88. 120 Gerald K. Tanye, The Church-as-Family and Ethnocentrism in Sub-Saharan Africa (Berlin: Lit Verlag, 2010), 82. 53

2.3.1 Feminism

Feminism has no simple definition. There are diverse and varied conceptualisations of the nature of feminism as there are feminists. Although feminist writers do not have a common school of thought but they agree on a common project to fight a common cause - the cause of the female gender. Their common goal is to fight the oppression, repression and discrimination of women. Indeed, “the ultimate focus of feminist movements since their modern emergence in the 1800’s, whether in social, political, religious cultural or economic dimensions, is on the equality of women and men”.121 The actual emphasis and method of achieving this may vary according to context and strand of feminism.

To enable me to better articulate my points, I shall first attempt a definition of feminism and examine some of its branches relevant for this work. Then I shall find out whether there are feminist beliefs and movements in Igboland and finally I shall examine what challenges feminism poses to the Igbo family.

The Webster’s Encyclopaedic Dictionary defines feminism as “the doctrine which declares the equality of the sexes and advocates equal social, political and economic rights for women”.122 In other words, feminists execrate any perceived or actual treatment of women as less valued than their male counterpart. They advocate for equal status, dignity and regard for women in all sectors of the society. The English woman, Mary Wollstonecraft is said to have set the feminist movement in motion in 1700 with her book, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. There are, today, however different strands of feminism, namely, Radical feminism, Liberal feminism, Separatists, to mention but a few. We shall restrict our focus to these three forms because of their relevance to our work.

Radical feminism is said to be the “mother” of all feminists’ theories. It is the source of many ideas and philosophies arising from feminism.

121 Jonathan Okeke Chimakonam and Sunny Nzie Agu, “The Epistemology of Womanhood: Ignored Contentions Among the Igbo Women of Eastern Nigeria” (January 2013) https://www.researchgate.net/publication/280092652, (Accessed June 7, 2019), 58. 122Typhoon International, 2004, The New International Webster´s Comprehensive Dictionary of English Language: Encyclopaedic Edition (Naples: Trident Press), in Chimakonam and Agu, “The Epistemology of Womanhood: Ignored Contentions Among the Igbo Women of Eastern Nigeria”, 62. 54

This theory views the oppression of women as the most fundamental form of oppression, one that cuts across boundaries of race, culture, economy and religions. Radical feminism questions why women should adopt certain role based on their biology, just as much as it questions why men adopt certain roles based on gender.123

Radical feminists, therefore submit that sexism is the oldest and the most pervasive form of discrimination in the society, and it is learnt from birth within the patriarchal family. Radical feminists posit two main ways in which the family is inherently oppressive to women,” (1) through men’s exploitation of women’s domestic labour (housework and childbearing) (2) through men’s control of women’s sexuality and reproduction”124. They claim that the family is the site where children are socialised into limited sex roles and also learn to devalue all things associated with women. Some also claim that “motherhood is not the source of women’s oppression, but patriarchy is. Thus, mothering in a patriarchal society is oppressive, but mothering per se is not”. 125 One point is clear- radical feminists implicate the family setting as a culprit in the oppression of women.

On the other hand, the whole idea of liberal feminism “is rooted in liberal political thought, which developed during the Enlightenment and glorifies rationality”126. This intellectual tradition posits that the capacity to reason is the unique property of a human being. Accordingly, liberal feminists submit that the confinement of women’s roles to the family (as daughter, wife, and mother) restricts the development of their rational skills and thus hinders their full human development. They thus argue that women should be given equal education and opportunities like men. One of the outstanding exponents of this movement, Mary Wollstonecraft argues that “the lack of a developed rational intellect and meaningful work led to the ‘female’ vices of vanity and envy”127. According to her, women are not supercilious by nature but social constraints and stereotypes hinder them from a better development of their rationality. The liberal feminists therefore advocate that the “burden” of housework (cooking) and other traditional female domestic work should be

123 Kgomotso Jackson Phillip Sebola, “Feminism Undermining African Culture” (December 2014), https://www.academia.edu/22769648/ (Accessed, June 7, 2019), 4. 124 Michelle Budig, “Feminism and the Family” in, Jacqueline Scott, Judit Treas, and Martin Richards, eds., The Blackwell Companion of the Sociology of Families (Blackwell Publishing Company, January 2004), https://www.researchgate.net/publication/259695631, (Accessed June 6 2019), 423. 125 Ibid., 430. 126 Ibid., 420. 127 Ibid., 421. 55 taken off women. Essentially, liberal feminists and radical feminists share something in common - they implicate the family set-up as being at the root of women oppression in the society. But while liberal feminists do not quarrel about women’s and men’s family roles, so long as women and men have also equal opportunities in education and employment, radical feminist submit that the family is the source of women’s oppression. In other words, liberal feminists advocate for a balance of opportunities for women in economic and socio-political life. Radical feminists advocate for a more radical change in the society, where male-dominance, would be overturned to the favour of women. Radical feminism thus advocates for a demolition of languages, symbols and ideas which express either covertly or overtly the vestiges of a patriarchal culture. They believe that men are the primary oppressors of women. Therefore, they seek to have a revolution in which they would demolish patriarchy. Even more insidious, they argue, that sexual exploitation is the common downside of romantic heterosexual love, which itself is oppressive to women. They, therefore advocate the right to abortion and even promote single parenthood for women. They believe that women should be freed from men’s control of their sexual and reproductive abilities. In short, radical feminists advocate a revolutionary redefinition of the society in favour of women, and according to their own terms.

Generally speaking, “separatism is the advocacy or practice of separation of a certain group of people from a larger body on the basis of ethnicity, religion or gender.”128 With regard to feminism, separatists advocate separation of women from men. Like radical feminists, separatists argue that heterosexual relationship is a tool for perpetuating women exploitation and male-dominance. They submit, therefore, that separating men, enables women to see themselves in a different context. This idea, according to them, would enhance the personal growth of women.

Because of their advocacy for same-sex female unions as against heterosexual unions, some writers have described them as lesbians. Jackie Anderson, a separatist herself, for instance, described the movement as “lesbian Separatism”.129 This implies that some separatist feminists are lesbians while others are not. Separatists accuse men of violence against women, in terms of rape, genital mutilation and the exploitation of their body. They therefore advance a society where male-

128Tatiana Jackson, “Feminist Separatism” (December 18, 2015), https://prezi.com/msn2y6xrd4lh/, (Accessed June 8, 2019). 129 Jackie Anderson "Separatism, Feminism, and the Betrayal of Reform," Signs Vol. 19, no. 2 (1994), 437. 56 dominance would be subdued and lesbianism made the norm. A society where women would have rights to reproductive freedom and the experience of motherhood rejected. On this, Anderson writes; “As lesbian separatists, we believe that the first and most basic step necessary to attend to ourselves and our safety as women in the present world is to separate from men to the extent that that is possible. As lesbians, we conceive a future for ourselves that does not include men and in which lesbianism is the norm”.130

She continues,

Motherhood is an institution and as such has served those in power- men well. But has it served the interests of women? Women have often produced men who we must now fight for our right to exist in safety and as self-determining women. So, I believe that there are good and sound reasons to consider rejecting motherhood as a value and birthing as practice.131 So far I have examined some strands of feminist thoughts from the western world. Apparently, western feminism fights for the rights of women by fighting the traditional family system in general and men in particular. For these feminists, the family and patriarchy represent the bastion of the oppression of women.

But is feminism a predominantly western project? Is there an Igbo-African voice for the rights of women? And what is their focus? What is the influence of western feminism on the family in Igboland? These questions I shall respond to in a moment.

The struggle for the right of women has not been the exclusive project of westerners alone. Igbo women have also made impact in their own right among the Igbo people. The only difference is in the emphasis, style and evolution of their engagements through the years.

The Igbo women groups in Igboland have considerable influence in the public arena, prior to the advent of the European colonialists in Igboland. Indeed, “Igbo sociocultural order had room for women to enjoy some influence through the umuada or umuokpu and ndi-inyom (lineage daughters’ and lineage wives’ groups) that handled feminine matters in Igboland”.132 These

130 Ibid., p. 437. 131 Ibid., p. 446. 132Chimakonam and Agu, “The Epistemology of Womanhood”, 65. 57 women groups are neither anti-men nor anti-family. They concern themselves primarily, with the welfare of women, ranging from economic empowerment, political recognition and later, educational opportunities.

In traditional Igbo culture, women exercised direct political power through organisations like women’s courts, market authorities, secret societies and age grade institutions. They wielded collective and individual power both as members and as heads of these organisations. Igbo women understood solidarity deeply, and because of this, the men were hesitant to do anything that would anger women or cause discord. If a man did do something to offend the women and the women joined against him, the other men left him to his own devices because he “should have known better” than to incite the women’s wrath. Therefore, Igbo women never felt the need to “compete” against men. Instead, women and their institutions served as the direct parallel to men to create the balance that fostered harmony in society.133 However, the first wave of an elaborate feminist agitations in Igboland was directed at the British colonial administration who shook the status quo by demanding unfair taxes from women. The year was 1929. This agitation is popularly known today as the Aba Women’s Riot.134 This led to a wave of women’s agitations in the Igbo cities of Owerri and Onitsha in 1956, also directed against the colonialists. The British assault on the socio-cultural system not only exploited women through taxation but also robbed them of the upkeep and security they enjoyed from their husbands.

The second wave of agitations for the rights of women in Igboland started in 1980s. At this time many Igbo women were already educated, both in Nigeria, Europe and America. With the influence of western education and civilisation, feminist movements (although not designated with the term feminism) in Igboland started looking inwards. Women began to challenge some Igbo cultural practices that they now consider oppressive, derogatory and discriminatory to them. Married women who once bore titles such as Oriaku (wealth consumer), Obidiya (husband’s heart) began to censor the titles they took which portrayed them as weak, passive and dependent. Many prefer now to be called Osodieme (one who works in collaboration with her husband) instead of

133 Amara Enyia, “On Culture, Feminism, the State and Resistance,” (February 15, 2017) https://punchng.com/culture- feminism-state-resistance-2/, (Accessed June 8, 2019). 134 Toyin Falola and Adam Paddock, The Women’s War of 1929: A History of Anti-colonial Resistance in Eastern Nigeria (Durham: Carolina Academic Press, 2011). 58

Oriaku. In fact, today, in some families women have become the breadwinners. In many fronts women are fighting and gaining grounds. Accordingly, here is a list of some of the basic contentions of women in Igboland in recent times, for which partial or full emancipation have been gained. They include;

(i) All forms of proprietary rights, including the right to inheritance (ii) Leadership/political rights (iii) Protection against all forms of humiliating rites, and all other forms of abusive cultural rites. (iv) Divorce rites.135 Thus, in Igboland, the first wave of feminism was against the colonialists, the second wave was against some aspects of Igbo culture itself, but the third and current wave has a different focus. This third wave bear clear footprints of western influence. Recall that western feminism largely combats gender-specific roles, agitates for sexual, “marital” and reproductive rights. And it has indeed, brought about sweeping changes in Europe and America. However, part of the changes brought by western feminists is the weakening of traditional family values. This is so, because the family is considered by them as the biggest symbol of male-dominance and women subordination.

In Igboland today, family life is gradually subjected to the onslaught of modern radical feminism. Consequently, some family values are gradually eroding. Rising cases of broken marriages and a growing number of single mothers bear eloquent testimony to this. . Again, in contemporary times, there is a high rate of impatience and intolerance in marriages, more than ever before. The marriage tribunals in many Catholic Dioceses in Nigeria are overwhelmed with applications for nullification of marriages, some of which are barely two years old. Divorce according to civil and customary law is also on the rise. According to Comfort Oyedokun, “a growing number of expert observers conclude that high divorce rate is due to a number of social changes” and these are reflected in “lifestyles and movements that have satiated the society such as increasing spousal irresponsibility, career woman ideology, feminism, among others”.136

135 Chimakonam and Agu, “The Epistemology of Womanhood”, 68. 136 Comfort Oyedokun, Nigerian Tribune “On the rising cases of divorce in Nigeria,” (November 17, 2018) (https://www.tribuneonlineng.com/174054/), (Accessed June 8, 2019). 59

Gender roles have never been an issue in Igboland as it has become today. In the past, gender role served as an effective tool for the creation of a balance of responsibility between male and female gender.

“Power lay, not in one’s genitalia, but on women’s (or man´s) ability to fully fulfil their role as the necessary balance for a harmonious society. Because the collective society was based upon harmony, individual behaviour as it relates to relationships (sexual or otherwise) were tightly guided by cultural practices that emphasised the good of the whole and perpetuation of families and lineage”137.

But the situation is today being challenged by some women groups, especially the so-called educated ones who live in the urban centres. They represent the third wave of feminists’ movement in Igboland. And they are getting “radical” in some of their demands. According to Rose Uchem, an outstanding feminist voice in Igboland today;

Igbo women want so much more; they want the right to make their own economic, reproductive and political decisions; they want the right to take chieftaincy titles no longer subordinated to their husbands titles; they want the right to become members of title society-the apex sacred and decision-making body in all of Igboland; they want the right to hold the Ọfọ (Igbo insignia of Authority) staff and to strike it on the earth in prayer; they want the girl to have as much freedom as the boy child…to belong to masquerade groups. Above all, they want the right to celebrate prayers and rituals with Kola nuts. In a nutshell, they want to be treated as equals with men in their homes and in the community, and no longer as their husbands´ or father´s property.138

137 Enyia, “On Culture, Feminism, the State and Resistance,” 68. 138 Rose N. Uchem, Overcoming women´s Subordination: An Igbo African and Christian Perspective: Envisioning an Inclusive Theology with Reference to women, in, Chimakonam and Agu, “The Epistemology of Womanhood: Ignored Contentions Among the Igbo Women of Eastern Nigeria,” 69. The masquerade group in Igbo society is a forum for men; both young and old. Most masquerades are covered from head to toe with some piece of clothing or/and bamboo rafters. A wooden mask is often worn over the face. The mask will vary depending on the type of masquerade and the place of origin within the Igboland. Some masks are designed to be beautiful, intimidating or downright sinister. Most masquerades claim to have some mystical powers and are constantly competing to see which one has the most mystical powers, whenever they appear together especially at village squares or funerals. The masquerade are usually accompanied by some vocalists and instrument players. In Igbo culture, the masquerade are believed to embody the spirit and human worlds. They are said to be some of the dead Igbo ancestors who returned from the ancestral world.

60

The major preoccupation of those represented in this group is no longer to protect women from some derogatory cultural practices but to compete with men, and to fight for women’s access to some ‘privileges’ or roles allowed only for men in the Igbo culture. But their agitation has created subtle tension in families and communities. It has given vent to unhealthy competition between men and women for relevance and influence, which does harm to family and communal peace. Communality, as we mentioned earlier in this work is a vital mark of the Igbo family (ezinaụlọ). And this communal value is threatened when any group sees the other not as complementary but as a competitor. We also saw earlier that in the Igbo family, certain roles are assigned according to gender, age and capability. The third wave feminists in Igboland are accused of making ‘too much ado about nothing’. Their actions have also been described as totally unwarranted and have been opposed in some quarters. The havoc they have done so far to family and community life in Igboland still lurks especially, among the younger generation of Igbo women.

It is worthy to note that not all feminist ideas undermine the family values of Igbo culture. Women agitation for a just and equitable society is praiseworthy. But any brand of feminists project that favours abortion, demeans certain gender roles, questions motherhood, promotes individualism and unhealthy competition, would be unfitting for the Igbo context.

2.3.2 Social/ Communication Media139

Few years later, television-sets became affordable for almost every household. Computer games, video players and mobile phones later flooded the Nigerian market and homes. The impact was immediately obvious in our social space. Children hardly came out to play anymore and regular visits to one another dropped. Many preferred to stay at home playing computer games, watching

139 (From a personal experience) As a boy I enjoyed a broad embrace of social contacts both within and outside my neighbourhood. Back then, mobile phones were mainly for the rich adults. In those days, I never met any boy or girl of my age who had a mobile phone. Social networks like Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp were either nonexistent or totally unknown to us. Hence, the only means to meet and relate with friends was only through face-to-face physical meetings. We paid visits to one another and spent time together playing and cracking jokes. I had regular exchange of visits with my cousins living both within and outside of the city where my family was resident. My parents were active in monitoring my relationship with my age-group and would always discourage any relationship with a child of questionable character. Moral values were learnt directly from the teachings and good examples of my parents and older siblings. Our home, like most homes in our neighbourhood was largely peaceful, apart from some pockets of domestic violence in some families. Privacy was very limited. Everyone knows almost everything about the other since we were closely-knit and lived largely together in public houses, popularly known as yards.

61 movies or playing with mobile phones. Living together in public houses (yards) became less fashionable. There was the longing by many for private apartments, where they would stay alone with their families without having to share toilets, bathrooms and kitchen with anyone. Thus, access to social communication media, private houses and privacy became significant indices of modern life and affluence. But with such a lifestyle emerged a deep rupture in the happy, social face-to-face contacts we once enjoyed.

Of course, the immense benefits of modern social communication media are indubitable. But it has also had a lot of negative impacts on the physical social environment. This is the reason why I highlight some of challenges of social media to family values in Igboland.

Social communication media has contributed in the weakening of the social and moral fibers of families in Igbo society. With an uncensored access to boundless flow of varieties of information, children are also exposed to materials that are harsh to their impressionable minds. Most parents are, apparently, unable to censor the content of internet materials that their children are exposed to. Most of such materials from the social communication media make deep and formative impressions in the minds of both children and even adolescents.

“New technologies such as ‘sexting’ and ‘cybersex’ have been developed. All these are witnesses to the increased exposure to and stimulation of young people´s sexuality. Pornography (for instance) is known not only to be addictive but also to foster a vision of others as sex objects rather than persons…. The result is that human sexuality is distorted as something merely physical”.140

This trivialisation of human sexuality has led to superficial and exploitative expressions of relationships between opposite sexes, even among married couples. As soon as the initial passions and imaginations fizzle out, relationship breaks down. Without saying it, this is the reason behind the breakdown of some marriages. The internet has, unfortunately, fostered a consumerist life- style in which even the human person is almost treated as a property to be used and discarded. The result is that family relationship appears less attractive and risks becoming outmoded. This situation has contributed to the weakening of family relationship in Igboland today. The abuse of the social communication media has opened a floodgate of conflicting values and standards whose

140 Ezeokafor, The Family: Foundation Once Destroyed, What Can The Just Do? (Ps 11:3), 43. (emphasis mine). 62 impact is seen in the weakening of family ties. One of such standards which threatens families in Igboland today is individualism. The abuse of social media is one of the factors implicated in the rise of an individualistic lifestyle among many a people in Igboland.

The term individualism may mean different things to different people, but it has a common central idea. According to Craig Biddle, “individualism is the idea that the individual’s life belongs to him and that he has an inalienable right to live it as he sees fit, to act on his own judgment, to keep and use the product of his effort, and to pursue the values of his choosing. It’s the idea that the individual is sovereign, an end in himself, and the fundamental unit of moral concern.”141 Individualism is opposed to communalism - an important value in Igboland. In individualistic societies, the interest of the individual takes precedence over that of the community. Generally, western societies are considered by many observers and scholars as more individualistic than Asian and African societies. Some scholars “equate individualism with narcissism and selfishness”142. For instance, “the French aristocratic political philosopher Alexis de Tocqueville (1805–59) described individualism in terms of a kind of moderate selfishness that disposed humans to be concerned only with their own small circle of family and friends”.143 This is the type of individualism that I am referring to as inimical to family value of Igbo society. An attitude which supports the longing for more privacy, loneliness and isolation, except may be, in exceptional cases, is unacceptable among the Igbo. But in recent times, there is a strong wave of individualistic lifestyle in Igboland. There is a greater tendency towards a life of isolation and privacy both among members of the same family and between constitutive nuclear units of the extended family. The social communication media has been spotted as one of the factors responsible for this. Many people spend a lot of time online than they do offline. They could endlessly surf websites, chat on WhatsApp and Facebook with as many virtual friends as possible, or move from Twitter to Instagram. At the end they have limited time and interest for a face-to-face physical contact with family members and friends. The traditional practice of family members meeting regularly to tell fairy tales (Akụkọ Ifo), play games, and dine together is gradually fading away. Nowadays even

141 Craig Biddle, “Individualism vs. Collectivism: Our Future, Our Choice,” in The Objective Standard, Spring (February 20, 2012) (https://www.theobjectivestandard.com/issues/2012-spring/individualism-collectivism/), (Accessed June 8, 2019). 142 Steven M. Lukes,”Individualism” in Encyclopaedia Britannica, Encyclopaedia Britannica Inc., (n.d) (https://www.britannica.com/topic/individualism), (Accessed June 8, 2019). 143 Ibid. 63 some married couples, especially those living in the cities have separate bedrooms, in order to ensure reasonable privacy. In some homes, children also have their individual bedrooms, furnished with television-sets, videos and computer games. These machines tend to replace human beings and serve to provide the individual “sufficient” means of self-expression and gratification devoid of direct human contact. In an article written as far back as 1947, Samuel Mencher laments over a similar situation in the western society in the following words;

Isolated from warm human relationships, modern man has come to rely more and more upon mechanical media for his emotional wellbeing….Technology which has been influential in hastening the end of the primary group (Family) and isolating the individual, socially and psychologically, has provided the mechanisms by which individuals may escape from the group…. Modern science has buttressed man in his position of splendid and self-sufficient isolation.144 This similar situation has become, unfortunately, the experience of many families in Igboland today

This is part of the cons of the new social media culture, namely the weakening of the strong social bond among people and the alternative of make-belief. The result is a chain reaction that may have adverse effects on other aspect of life. How does one explain, for instance, the rising phenomena of broken marriages in Igboland today? Such a disturbing trend is also worthy of consideration in this work.

2.3.3 Break-up of Marriages

Divorce, annulment and separation, are terms that have negative connotations within marriage and family life. They give the signal of some marital misfortune, which could either be absolute (divorce), partial (separation) or radical (annulment). Simply put; “a divorce is a dissolution by a civil court of an existing (marital) union”145. In the Catholic Church, according to the Catechism

144 Mencher Samuel, "Individualism in Modern Western Culture." The Southwestern Social Science Quarterly Vol. 28, No. 3 (1947), 262. (Emphasis mine) 145 Joseph P. Zwack, Annulment: Your Chance to Remarry with the Catholic Church (Cambridge: Harper & Row Publishers, 1983), 1. (Emphasis mince). 64 of the Catholic Church (no. 2382)146, the dissolution of a validly celebrated and consummated marriage is not allowed. This is because “the Church considers the bond of marriage to be a sacred one that is based on life-long love, fidelity and family. Marriage is both a legal bond on earth and spiritual bond which God has witnessed. It cannot be broken using temporal laws”.147 An annulment, on the other hand, is a “declaration by a Tribunal to the Church that a marriage never legally existed as a sacramental union according to canon law….There are both civil law and Church annulments”.148 Annulment is not the same as divorce; it rather, presupposes that there is and has been no marriage. A separation in either civil or canon law does not mean either a dissolution of marriage, as with divorce, or a declaration of invalidity of marriage, as with annulment. A separation in both civil and canon laws means a suspension of some marital obligations, with the marital bond still intact. According to the Code of Canon Law (§1151), “spouses have the obligation and the right to maintain their common conjugal life, unless a lawful reason excuses them”.149 A separation is thus one of such situations that excuses spouses from a common conjugal life.

Divorce, annulment and separation in varying degrees represent, in one frame of reference, a breakdown in marital union. In another frame, they signal an indication of change in the understanding of marital life in the society today. In some cases, separation is a precursor to divorce or annulment. On its own, when it does not culminate into either divorce and/or annulment, separation has partial negative effects in marital life. However, it may also lead to repair of emotional injuries and renewal of the bliss of marital union. We shall, therefore, limit ourselves to the more devastating issues of divorce and annulment.

In former times, precisely prior to the contact of the Igbo with European imperialists and Christian missionaries, divorce in Igbo society was seldom permitted. “Marital dissolution through divorce or separation is discouraged among the Igbos.”150 Divorce, if ever allowed was done reluctantly.

146 The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law. Between the baptised, a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death. 147 “Divorce in Christianity: Divorce and the Catholic Church”, BBC (June 2009), http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/ritesrituals/divorce_1.shtml, (Accessed June 8, 2019) 148 Zwack, Annulment, 1. 149 The Code of Canon law, 1151 (1983). 150 Lorreta Favour. C. Ntoimo and Monica Ewomazino Akokuwebe, “Prevalence and Patterns of Marital Dissolution in Nigeria,” The Nigerian Journal of Sociology and Anthropology Vol. 12, No. 2 (2014), 8. 65

Indeed, the Igbo had native institutions and practices through which marital challenges fraught with divorce were resolved. But the onslaught of the West on the sociocultural and economic life of the Igbo diminished the viability of the native institutions and practices.

As a general principle, marriage in the Igbo society is not just a union of two individuals but that of two families and even communities. Thus any harm done to the family triggers a ripple effect whose impact would be felt by individuals and families integrated within a particular marital bond. In times past, this communal nature of the Igbo social life made it difficult for marriages to break down arbitrarily, since its implications would be enormous. In the olden times in Igboland, settlement of marital disputes is first and foremost the prerogative of the community. In most cases divorce is never considered. If divorce was allowed it was done on the grounds of adultery, which is considered a sin against God (Chukwu), nature, and society.

Indeed marriage is not one man’s business in Igbo society. But as family ties in Igboland continue to weaken and marriages shrink to an individual love affair between two people, cases of divorce continue to rise in exponential proportions. In the contemporary Igbo society, divorce is becoming a commonplace experience and ordinary conversations on divorce are no longer treated with the same disinterestedness, as used to be the case.

It is important to observe here that for Catholic Christians who are legally and validly married in the Church, divorce would be impossible to obtain since the canon law has no provisions for it. However, divorce can be obtained in accordance with either civil law or Igbo native law and custom regarding marriage. It is even easier for non-Catholic Igbo Christians whose denominations do not discountenance it, to obtain divorce. And the possibility of having double weddings, namely traditional and church wedding leads to some complexities. I shall return to this in the later part of this work. Our major concern, however in this work is on Igbo Catholics.

Going forward, I shall examine some statistical information on divorce in Nigeria in general plus annulment rates in two catholic dioceses (Aba and Awka) in Igboland and thereafter consider the challenges they pose to family life in Igboland.

At present, current statistics on the rate of divorce in Southeastern states (Igboland) of Nigeria alone are sketchy. In Nigeria, there is paucity of relevant literatures dealing on the subject in

66 general. Moreover, "standard measures of divorce rates usually rely on data from civil registration systems, which are inadequate in nearly all countries in sub-Saharan Africa…. Country-level estimates of divorce rates are missing from this region in standard statistical compilation”151, according to the researchers, Shelley Clark and Sarah Brauner-Otto, in a 2015 article. “Despite this lack of data, there is widespread belief that divorce in the region is increasing rapidly.”152 But Shelley and Clark and Sarah Brauner-Otto (later in this work, Shelly and Sarah) did not merely rely on general belief but also offered some scientific results which would be useful for us in this work, in order to have, a smattering of the rate and prevalence of divorce in Nigeria and particularly in the southeastern Nigeria. In addition to their findings, we shall also make reference to another important research by Lorreta Favour C. Ntoimo and Monica Ewomazino Akokuwebe; (Subsequently Lorreta and Monica) both of them are Nigerians. Note that our focus would not be on the causes of divorce but on its prevalence rate and challenges to family life.

From their analysis of data obtained from the Demographic and Health Surveys, Shelly and Sarah estimated that more unions in 33 sub-Saharan African countries end through divorce. This is in comparison to spousal death, particularly for first unions between intervals of 15-19 years, with “25 percent ending through divorce and 8 percent through spousal death”.153 They also found out “that the variation in divorce found in sub-Saharan Africa is comparable to that found in Europe”.154 Furthermore, they “estimated that divorce is lowest in near the Sahel (i.e., Burkina Faso, Malawi, Nigeria)”.155 However, in Nigeria, particularly, between 1990 and 2013 their findings estimated that a total of 20.5 percent of marriages were dissolved in a fairly consistent pattern; 11.8 through divorce and 8.7 through widowhood. Their findings also shows that “divorce rates in Nigeria are dominated by short-term unions”.156

On their own part, Lorreta and Monica, using secondary data obtained from 2006 Nigeria’s population census made some interesting findings on the rate of divorce within Nigeria and in its

151 Shelley Clark and Sarah Brauner-Otto, “Divorce in Sub-Saharan Africa: Are Unions Becoming Less Stable?” Population and Development Review, Vol. 41, No. 4 (2015), 583. 152 Ibid., 584. 153 Ibid., 592. 154 Ibid., 601-602. 155 Ibid., 602. 156 Ibid., 595. 67 constituent 6 geopolitical regions (Northeast, Northwest, North-central, Southwest, Southeast, South-south). According to their findings;

The crude rate of marital dissolution in Nigeria was 11 per 1000 population. Among ever married population, crude rate of marital dissolution was 29.5 per 1000. Marital dissolution was highest in the South-south and Northeast regions and least in the Southeast region. More females were divorced or separated than males. Age-specific marital dissolution rates ranged from 24-32 per 1000 ever married females, and 15-24 for males; the higher rates were among younger persons aged 10-24.157 From their data, Igboland (southeast) has the lowest rate of divorce in Nigeria with 7.8 percent in 2006. But giving the rising trend in divorce across Igboland, it is likely that this number may have increased today, 2019, 13 years after the research. Moreover, the statistics does not account for undocumented cases of divorce according to Igbo native law and custom. Furthermore, “the high rate of remarriage, and stigma associated with marital separation (divorce) conceal the actual prevalence”.158 It, therefore, does not amount to an exaggeration to conclude that divorce has become, sadly, a feature of the face of modern family life in Igboland. And with it also is marriage annulment.

Data obtained from the Catholic Dioceses of Awka and Aba gives one insights into the prevalence of the cases of annulment. The Awka diocesan Marriage Tribunal, at the end of December 2018, had 230 cases of annulment; 127 pending cases were carried over from the previous year 2017 plus an additional 99 cases for the year 2018. Some cases were either struck out, abated or renounced but “105 cases out of these were Affirmative and none in favour of the bond”159. Below are how the cases were summarised by the Tribunal:

Concluded Cases 105

Struck out Cases 6

Abated Cases 7

157 Ntoimo and Akokuwebe, “Prevalence and Patterns of Marital Dissolution in Nigeria,” The Nigerian Journal of Sociology and Anthropology, 1. 158Ibid., 2. (Emphasis mine) 159 Catholic Diocese of Awka, “Activities of the Tribunal”, 2018. 68

Renounced Cases 4

Pending Cases 108160

The data above is disturbing: 105 marriages were nullified in one year alone, in just one diocese. 105 families were broken with its attendant negative social, psychological and health consequences for children, adults and extended family members who were formerly united by the union. This number does not include the cases of divorce according to civil and customary law, and the many other cases of separation. Sadly, there are no signs yet that this number would abate in the nearest future.

Furthermore, data obtained from the Aba diocesan Marriage Tribunal shows a fluctuating rise in the cases of annulment between 2015-2018. Below is the data in a tabular form.

Activities of the Tribunal, Catholic Diocese of Aba (2015-2018)161

Cases pending at Cases introduced Sentences in Sentences in the beginning of and accepted this favour of nullity favour of the Year the year + Cases year. (at least on one bond (on every at the end of the ground) ground alleged) year.

2015 52 and 48 22 15 Nil

2016 48 and 42 25 17 Nil

2017 42 and 36 19 15 Nil

2018 36 and 39 27 16 Nil

Total 93 63 Nil

160 Ibid. 161 Catholic Diocese of Aba, “Activities of the Tribunal”, 2015-2018. 69

From the table above, one can clearly see that as the number of cases pending each year drops, the number of cases introduced increases in a fairly consistent order. Thus, between the year 2015 and 2018 a total of 93 new cases were received in the tribunal and 63 out of this number were in favour of nullity, with at least 15 marriages annulled every year and no sentence was given in favour of the marital bond. Thus none of the cases of annulment received in the Aba Diocesan Tribunal in the years 2015 to 2018 received a positive sentence in favour of the marital bond. And the cumulative number of cases “abandoned through abatement” (peremptio)162 in the same number of years is 43.

One thing is common in the data obtained from the tribunals of Awka and Aba Dioceses; namely, that no case received in either of them was in favour of the marital bond. It is also clear from the data that there were more cases of annulled marriages than not. This implies that more families have been broken and more may still be broken.

Broken marriages as a result of either divorce, nullification or separation have devastating consequences for the socioeconomic life of people in Igboland. In the first place, they contradict the communal, integrative, formative values of the Ezinaụlọ, which we examined earlier in this work. The rise in the cases of broken marriages today in Igboland is, in fact, a scandal for many people because it threatens some fundamental goals of family life in Igboland. The cohesiveness of the larger society; the ezi is weakened when the ụlọ, its nuclear aspect, falls apart. Such imbalance would be a springboard for all manner of societal maladies. This is on the general level.

On the personal level, people from broken marriages are considered with some mixture of pity and disapproval. Though innocent children are catered for, their parents suffer from social stigma and a loss of prestige. The Igbo would be reluctant to consider them for positions of public trust in both

162 “Generally, it is the interruption of a legal proceeding upon the pleading by a defendant of a matter that prevents the plaintiff from going forward with the action at that time or in that form. Pleas in abatement raise such matters as objections to the place, mode or time of the plaintiff’s claim. In canon law particularly, abatement is a way through which legal proceedings in a tribunal end without a judgement either upon the plea of the defendant or by the judge himself. Abatement in canon law proceeds from the presumption that the court without the active interest of the litigant. If certain time-limit set by law ends without any procedural acts being performed by the petitioner, then it is presumed that litigant is not interested in the case; e.g. when over six months or another period of time established by a particular law the parties perform no procedural acts and when nothing has impeded them from doing so ceases the court terminates the proceedings of the case (cf. CIC c.1520).” See, Jessie G. Somosierra “Abatement of a Case”, Dictionary of Canon Law (October 2008), http://canonlawdictionary.blogspot.com/2008/10/abatement-of-case.html, (Accessed July 4, 2019). 70 the society and the Church. In some statutory organisations in the Church and social groups in the civil community they are considered unqualified for membership and or leadership, since they lack the commonest minimum requirement; marriage. In short, victims of broken marriages suffer one form of subtle discrimination or the other both within in the Church and elsewhere.

Apparently, children are the worst hit when marriages dissolve. Children from broken marriages are also likely to experience marital dissolution as adults when they themselves get married. A study comparing the well-being of children from broken families and those whose families are still intact found out that “children from divorced (broken) families scored significantly lower on a variety of outcomes, including academic achievement, conduct, psychological adjustment, self- concept, and social competence”.163

Relationship among the different families who were hitherto united by marriage also weakens, since the uniting element, namely marriage, no longer exists.

Indeed, challenges arising from marital dissolution either by divorce, separation or annulment have sweeping effects capable of destablising any human society. It devalues marriage and family and consequently weakens social and moral values.

163 Paul R Amato, “The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children, ”Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 62, No. 4 (2000), 1277. https://www.jstor.org/stable/1566735?seq=1 (Accessed June 7, 2019). 71

CHAPTER THREE

THEOLOGICAL-PASTORAL RESPONSE TO CHALLENGES OF FAMILY IN IGBOLAND: INSIGHTS FROM AMORIS LAETITIA

Having explored some of the challenges to the family institution in Igboland, we shall now attempt to proffer some solutions, using insights from Pope Francis’ Amoris Laetitia (Apostolic Exhortation on Love in The Family) .I shall articulate the papal responses under two major divisions, namely, proactive and active responses. Proactive response can also be considered as a preventive response. It means, in this context, first and foremost, a recognition that many of the challenges that confront the family stem from unwholesome formation, poor understanding and inadequate preparedness of people for marriage and family-life. Proactive response, therefore, equips family, society and the Church with knowledge and concrete guidelines for the proper formation of children, adolescences and adults who are the future of the family. Thus, proactive response is subdivided into parts, namely, remote, proximate and immediate responses. I shall subsequently explain these terms in details.

The focus of active response, on the other hand, is on actual challenges arising from family-life. Unlike proactive response, active response is corrective. It tends to remedy unfortunate situations, which might arise in marriage.

Knowledge of what is right does not necessarily translate to good actions and one cannot completely trust the human will with making right decisions at all times. This is the reason that some families still break down, notwithstanding whatever formation the couples may have undergone prior to marriage. Active response is thus intended to proffer pastoral assistance to challenges arising from the breakdown of marriages. It outlines the responsibility of the pastoral agents and couples in handling issues that arise in any event of the collapse of marriage.

Furthermore, while the proactive response is targeted at regular situations, that is, situations which may cause harm to the family but which do not necessarily lead to its breakdown, active response is rather targeted at issues arising from actual breakdown of family. Hence active response is associated with irregular situations.

72

Note that the nature of these responses is more general than particular. But while we respond generally to the challenges, we hope, as much as possible, to also refer to particular situations. If there are unique situations, these shall also be mentioned.

3.1 Proactive Responses to Family Challenges in Regular Situations.

As aforementioned, I shall address proactive response under three forms, namely, remote, proximate and immediate.

3.1.1 Remote Response (RR)

In other to tackle the many challenges in the family, marriage preparations should be made a long- term journey beginning from childhood. This is called “remote response” because, here, children from the earliest stages of life “are exposed to the values of Christian living and see firsthand the practical implications of living out the sacrament of marriage by their parents”.164 Thus remote preparation begins in infancy and must show “that marriage is a true vocation and mission, without excluding the possibility of the total gift of self to God in the vocation to priesthood or religious life”. 165

Since children learn often from the example of their parents and elders, it is proper at their infancy that they are exposed to the good examples of married life both from the scriptures and from their parents and elderly ones. According to Pope Francis, the “Christian families, by the grace of the sacrament of matrimony are the principal agents of the family apostolate through their joy-filled witness (example) as domestic churches”.166 In Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul II affirms that such good family witness;

leads children to discover themselves as being endowed with a rich and complex psychology and with a particular personality with its own strengths and weaknesses. It is a period when esteem for all authentic human values is instilled, both in interpersonal and social relationships, with all that this signifies for the formation of

164 Joseph A. Selling, “Twenty-Five Years After Familiaris Consortio” in Thomas Knieps-Port le Roi, et al., eds., Intams Review: Journal for the Study of Marriage and Spirituality, Vol. 12, No. 2 (Leuven: University Press, 2006), 160. 165 Pope John Paul II, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation, On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World, Familiaris Consortio (November 22, 1981), no. 66. 166 Pope Francis, Apostolic Exhortation on The Joy of Love, Amoris Laetitia (March 19, 2016), no. 200. (Emphasis mine) 73

character, for the control and right use of one’s inclinations, for the manner of regarding and meeting people of opposite sex, and so on.167 It is at this early stage of the physical growth and development of the human person that the basis is also laid for their psychological and spiritual maturity. It is the type formation that children are given in the family that mainly determines what they would make of their own families as adults. This implies that, “for every couple, marriage preparation begins at birth. What they received from the family should prepare them to know themselves and to make a full and definitive commitment. Those best prepared for marriage are probably those who learn what Christian marriage is from their own parents”.168 These words of Pope Francis resonate with an idea in the proverb which we quoted in chapter one, namely, “Nne Ewu na-ata nri, ụmụ ya a na-ele anya n`ọnụ” (As the she- goat eats, the kids look at her mouth/ the kids learn from her). Thus, interestingly, the family context of this remote response to family challenges parallels the childhood stage of the formation and nurture of the child in Igbo culture as already examined in the first chapter. The little difference between the two might be found in the scope and variety of materials to be taught and the agents responsible for it.

Pope Francis urges parents to give their children, according to their age, sound teachings on human sexuality, roles in the family and mutual respect for both male and female genders. Thus, patriarchal and chauvinistic practices that are exploitative or denigrating should not be encouraged in the family, for “the equal dignity of men and women makes us rejoice to see old forms of discrimination disappear and within families there is a growing reciprocity”.169 Such reciprocity between persons and genders is the antidote to gender-related conflicts in the family and society.

Some of the challenges that Igbo families face today are rooted in a patriarchal culture that is in conflict with modern ideologies of gender equality. In the Igbo family, roles are assigned along gender lines, which sometimes, might not be balanced. It is therefore, necessary that Igbo parents exhibit flexibility in gender-related family roles which they teach their children, for a “rigid approach turns into an overaccentuation of the masculine or feminine and does not help children

167 John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, no. 66. 168 Francis, Amoris Laetita, no. 208. 169 Ibid., no. 54. 74 and young people to appreciate the genuine reciprocity incarnate in the real conditions of matrimony”.170 Moreover, stereotypes that hinder the development of the full potential of either of the genders would be minimised. This, however, should be done with caution in order to also avoid the threat posed by “various forms of an ideology of gender that denies the difference and reciprocity in nature of a man and a woman and envisages a society without sexual differences, thereby eliminating the anthropological basis of the family”.171 In addition to this, “it needs to be emphasised that biological sex and the socio-cultural role of sex (gender) can be distinguished but not separated”.172 Children from Igbo families who from their infancy received a balanced formation, and imbued with both sound Igbo cultural and Christian values on gender and human sexuality would be better equipped for the vocation to married life. For instance, the Igbo culture and Christianity consider the man as the head of the family, but Christian teachings defines what kind of headship it is; a headship of service and sacrifice following the example of Christ who is the head of the Church. Thus in the letter to the Ephesians, Paul writes;

“For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:23-26, NRSV).173

Also in a letter to the Galatians Paul also teaches, “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). In both passages Paul echoes the imperative of reciprocity and mutual respect in the family. And these are the values which should be additionally assimilated into Igbo family culture, in order to combat the ills of patriarchy. Parents are urged to begin at infancy to impact these values in their children.

Although Pope Francis recognises the principal agency of parents at this remote stage, he wishes that parents are not left alone in the performance of this role. The parish is encouraged to work out the pastoral implications of the Church’s teachings on marriage and family and assist couples in

170 Ibid., no. 286. 171 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 56. 172 Ibid. 173 All biblical references are taken from the New Revised Standard Version. 75 teaching them to the children. For “the main contribution to the pastoral care of families is offered by the parish, which is the family of families, where small communities, ecclesial movements and associations live in harmony”.174 In order to help the parish achieve this, there is “the need for a more adequate formation of priests, deacons, men and women religious, catechists and other pastoral workers.” This equally implies that, “courses and programmes, planned specifically for pastoral workers, can be of assistance by integrating the premarital preparation programme into the broader dynamics of ecclesial life”.175 The premarital programme, which Pope Francis talks about, begins at childhood and could take variety of forms, without specifically making marriage its subject matter.

In Catholic parishes in Igboland, for instance, more opportunities should be created for participation of women in the pastoral life of the Church. This should not be done as a conscious policy of “affirmative action” but in recognition of the equal dignity of women as persons with God-given abilities and readiness to serve. Girls should be allowed to serve at Mass like their male counterparts. Women should be encouraged to take outstanding leadership positions in the parish, pious organisations, sodalities and other groups in the Church. Such good pastoral examples are necessary to form the minds of both parents and children and equip them with knowledge to combat the evils of patriarchy and its related issues in the family and society at large.

But in order to be impactful, the pastoral programmes should be a consistent feature of pastoral life. As soon as children grow into adolescence, new programmes fitting for their age and exposure should be designed for them. This is to ensure that proximate response continues seamless where remote response stops.

3.1.2 Proximate Response (PR)

Proximate response refers to the preparatory programmes and activities that take place in a person’s life prior to “a serious intention of marriage, that time when there should be a more specific preparation for the Sacrament”.176 The preparations at this stage should be designed to be

174 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 202. 175 Ibid, nos. 202 and 204. 176 Bernard K Nwakonobi, Igbo System of Kinship and Family: Christian Response: A study of one of the Pastoral/Moral challenges in Africa (Romae: Pontificium Athennaeum Sanctae Crucis Facultas Theologiae, 1997), 217. 76 suitable for adolescents and teenage adults, for “the teenage period seems to be a good time for the proximate pre-marriage programme, and this corresponds with the secondary school and tertiary institution years”.177 Pope John Paul II in his apostolic exhortation Catechesi Tradendae, gives a graphic description of life at this stage for the young people in these words;

It is the time of discovering oneself and one's own inner world, the time of generous plans, the time when the feeling of love awakens, with the biological impulses of sexuality, the time of the desire to be together, the time of a particularly intense joy connected with the exhilarating discovery of life. But often it is also the age of deeper questioning, of anguished or even frustrating searching, of a certain mistrust of others and dangerous introspection, and the age sometimes of the first experiences of setbacks and of disappointments.178 Owing to the uniquely sensitive characteristics of this stage of life, pope Francis teaches that the response of the Church must be comprehensive. It should account for the psychological, social, sexual and catechetical formation of the human person. This requires “a pedagogy of love, attuned to the feelings and needs of young people and capable of helping them to grow interiorly”.179

Some of the challenges which married couples in Igboland face originate from inadequate sexual and reproductive health education prior to marriage. For instance, many cases of infertility could have been avoided, if young people were to possess the requisite knowledge of their sexual and reproductive health. This is the reason the Church takes such formation seriously so as to “encourage those concerned to study the nature of conjugal sexuality and responsible parenthood, with the essential medical and biological knowledge connected with it”.180

The parochial schools are effective means of giving sound psychosexual formation and reproductive health education to young people. Throughout all the dioceses in Igboland, Catholic schools abound. Pastors should, therefore, make use of Catholic schools in presenting relevant teachings of the Church on marriage and family life to the young people. “Catholic schools should be encouraged in their mission to help pupils grow into mature adults who can view the world with

177 Ibid. 178 Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation on Catechesis in Our Time, Catechesi Tradendae, (October 16, 1979), no. 38. 179 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 211. 180 John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, no. 66. 77 the love of Jesus and who can understand life as a call to serve God.”181 Moreover, “the Second Vatican Council spoke of the need for ‘a positive and prudent sex education’ to be imparted to children and adolescents ‘as they grow older’, with due weight being given to the advances in the psychological, pedagogical and didactic sciences”.182 This is especially needed in this age of internet revolution, because of the vulnerability of young people to all sorts of unwholesome information that trivialises sexuality. Pope Francis further outlines the type of sex education that the young people need as “education for love and mutual self-giving. It should be the type of education “that fosters a sense of modesty” and incorporates “respect and appreciation for differences as a way of helping the young people overcome their self-absorption and to be open and accepting of others”.183

I consider this teaching of Pope Francis relevant for the Igbo context. In an average Igbo family parents seldom or never discuss sex with their adolescent and adult children. In some families it is almost a taboo to talk about friendship with the opposite sex. But even as the contemporary Igbo society gradually opens up to such public conversations about sex, enhanced by social media culture, most parents are yet to accept this change. One wonders why many Igbo parents would delightfully spur their children with ambitions to getting married when they grow up, but would recoil from discussing such vital element of marriage or sex with them. Indeed, some cases of childlessness in marriage would not have happened, had couples sufficient knowledge of their sexuality and human reproduction.

Apart from the parochial schools, parishes should regularly organise seminars, workshops and conferences for young people. Such “discussion groups and optional talks on a variety of topics of genuine interest to young people can also prove helpful”.184 It would also be helpful to create platforms where experienced married couples could interact with young people, to share their experiences of marriage and family. Pope Francis refers to such experienced couples as “missionary families”.185

181 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 279. 182 Ibid., no. 280. 183 Ibid., nos. 280, 282, 285. 184 Ibid., no. 208. 185 Ibid. 78

Furthermore, catechetical instructions would also be of immense benefit to young people. Here, the Synod Fathers insist on “grounding marriage preparation in the process of Christian initiation by bringing out the connection between marriage, baptism and the other sacraments”.186

I find such integrated catechetical instruction very relevant for our context in Igboland. Apart from the traditional catechetical instruction in view of the reception of any of the sacraments, it would also be beneficial to integrate marital catechetical instructions in the seminar or workshop programmes being organised for the young people. Some young people, after receiving the sacraments of initiation, are no longer active in the church. They only become active again when making preparations for marriage. And after marriage, they relapse once more. It is thus important that the parish family finds creative ways to keep its young members throughout their youthful days. This would directly help keep their faith alive and indirectly strengthen marriage and family life.

But pastoral attention to the young people should not discontinue prior to immediate marriage preparations or after marriage. Pope Francis imagines a pastoral response that would run seamlessly from childhood through adolescence and adulthood and into early and later years of marriage. So, the next stage after proximate response is the immediate response.

3.1.3 Immediate Response (IR)

Immediate response to family challenges basically concerns all preparatory programmes, organised by the parish for intending couples, at the period preceding wedding. The duration, content and method of the preparation is often stipulated by each diocese, and may vary from one diocese to another.

Pope Francis, however also conceives “immediate response” to include pastoral accompaniment to married couples within the first years of marriage. Thus in Amoris Laetitia, immediate response has two divisions, namely, preparations immediately preceding wedding and pastoral accompaniment within the first years of marriage. We shall examine both in a moment.

186 Ibid., no. 206. 79

Having gone through the remote and proximate phases of these responses, it is assumed that the individual has acquired a wide knowledge of Christian marriage and family life and its relation to other sacraments. As the intending couple prepares to imminently receive the sacrament, the parish should offer them a profound catechetical teaching and practical information with emphasis on marriage and family life. This, according to Pope John Paul II implies;

A deeper knowledge of the mystery of Christ and the Church, of the meaning of grace and of the responsibility of Christian marriage…balancing the different aspects-doctrinal, pedagogical, legal and medical-concerning marriage, and structuring them in such a way that those preparing for marriage will not only receive an intellectual training but also feel a desire to enter actively into the ecclesial life.187 Here, the parish should endeavour to balance theory with praxis. Since the intending couple are at the threshold of marriage and family life, it would be more beneficial to them that they are helped to more closely learn and understand themselves, even as they learn and understand the doctrines of the Church.

Pope Francis believes that some of the challenges, which spouses undergo in marriage, arise from insufficient understanding of the implications of the words of the consent that they undertake. According to the Pope, “at times the couple does not grasp the theological and spiritual import of the words of the consent, which illuminate the meaning of all the signs that follow”.188 He, therefore exhorts pastoral agents on the necessity to stress “that these words cannot be reduced to the present; they involve a totality that includes the future: ‘until death do us part…. Honouring one’s word, fidelity to one’s promises: these things that cannot be bought and sold. They cannot be compelled by force or maintained without sacrifice’”.189

Furthermore, the Pope observes that during the days and weeks immediately leading to their wedding, many couples occupy themselves with the social and material details of the ceremony, more than the spiritual and theological implications. As a result “many young people concentrate on their wedding-day and forget the life-long commitment they are about to enter into”.190 This is

187 John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, no. 66. 188 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 214. 189 Ibid. 190 Ibid., no. 215. 80 indeed a reality which I can personally testify to among many intending couples in Igboland. Owing to their membership of some social and pious associations, it is often demanding for some intending couples to cater for all the guests expected at their wedding. As result, many occupy themselves, primarily, with invitations, and other organisational details, more than the sacrament they are preparing to receive. Just as Pope Francis puts it, “the result is that the spouses come to the wedding ceremony exhausted and harried, rather than focus and ready for the great step that they are about to take”.191 For such important sacrament as holy Matrimony to be celebrated without full concentration and participation by the celebrants (spouses) themselves, is indicative of a misplacement of priority and subsequently, an indirect invitation to chaos in marriage. That some spouses concern themselves with the mundane trappings of their wedding more than the spiritual benefits could also be seen from the size of attendants at the wedding in comparison to the greater number who come for reception and entertainment. There are, of course, other factors responsible for this attitude, but what this reveals is a certain secularisation of the understanding of Christian marriage and family life. Hence, the need for a thorough-going pastoral work in that direction.

During the immediate phase of the preparations for marriage, spiritual retreats and seminars should also be organised for the spouses. “Those who help prepare them for marriage should help them experience moments of prayer that can prove so beneficial.”192 In the same manner that candidates preparing for the sacrament of Holy Order observe some days of spiritual retreat, spouses should also be encouraged to observe days of retreat prior to their wedding. The spiritual benefits would certainly enrich them individually and their marriage.

Furthermore, experts like medical doctors, psychologists, economists, and so on, should be invited for seminars with the spouses. This is necessary in order to tackle some of the challenges that we mentioned earlier, which border, especially on human reproduction, human behaviour and economy. Take for instance the issue of childlessness which causes agony to families in Igboland. We observed that childbearing represents a great value among the Igbo. But the reason some families are either childless or overpopulated is as result of ignorance of basic knowledge of human

191 Ibid., no. 212. 192 Ibid., no. 216. 81 sexuality and reproduction. This is why Pope Francis stresses the need to get medical experts on board both during marriage preparations and also within the first years of marriage.

The Catholic bishop of Awka, Paulinus Ezeokafor, in recognising the need for comprehensive premarital instructions, commissioned in 2014, some of his priests to design a preparatory material that takes “an interdisciplinary approach - the psychological, socio-anthropological, theological social communication, as well as canon law perspectives”.193 This is a commendable initiative, one which would be beneficial to marriage and family life, if replicated in Catholic dioceses across Igboland. I propose also that all the Roman Catholic dioceses in Igboland form an inter-diocesan marriage and family commission, whose task would be to design instructional materials for preparing spouses for the matrimonial sacrament and family life. Thus, the proposed material would be used not only for instructions and preparations before wedding, but also for accompanying couples through the first years of marriage. This accompaniment represents the second phase of immediate response, as implied by Pope Francis in Amoris Laetita.

Wedding only lasts for a day but marriage and/or family is a lifetime project. Accordingly, Pope Francis wishes “that couples be helped during the first years of their married life to enrich and deepen their conscious and free decision to have, hold and love one another for life”.194 He expressed his reasons for such an accompaniment in his observation that most times, “the engagement period is not long enough, the decision is precipitated for various reasons and, what is even more problematic, the couple themselves are insufficiently mature. As a result, the newly married couple need to complete a process that should have taken place during their engagement”.195 This, therefore, underscores the need for a sustained accompaniment of couples within the first years of marriage.

Indeed, the first years of marriage is a critical period for many couples. As the initial passions begin to wane and the realisation of some expectations by either or both of the couple not forthcoming, impatience and panic sets in, then the tone is set for a downward spiral of family challenges. Thus, according to the Synod Fathers, “the initial years of marriage are a vital and

193 Paulinus Ezeokafor, “The Family: Foundation Once Destroyed, What Can The Just Do?” (Ps 11:3), p. 9. 194 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 217. 195 Ibid. 82 sensitive period during which couples become more aware of the challenges and meaning of married life”.196 As a result, pastoral accompaniment of married couples in the first years of marriage should also be designed to provide special support for families during times of crisis. The method to be used here is a ‘go-to-them (pastoral)’ and not a ‘come-to-us (doctrinal)’. This is necessary today because, “pastoral care for families has to be fundamentally missionary, going out to where people are. We can no longer be like a factory, churning out courses that for the most part are poorly attended”.197

Pope Francis offered some practical resources that would be useful for this stage of pastoral accompaniment. I have classified these resources into two different groups, namely, spiritual and social.

The spiritual resource, consists of prayer, meditation and other forms of spiritual exercises. According to Pope Francis, “emphasis should also be given to the importance of family spirituality, prayer and participation in the Sunday Eucharist, and the couples encouraged to meet regularly to promote growth in their spiritual life and solidarity in the concrete demands of life. Liturgies, devotional practices and the Eucharist celebrated for families, especially on the wedding anniversary”.198 Similarly, pastors are exhorted to “encourage families to grow in faith. This means encouraging frequent confession, spiritual direction and occasional retreats”.199 They should also be encouraged to join and participate in any of the pious organisations in the parish. There is absolutely no doubt that such a culture of praying would be a wellspring of divine graces that constantly renews and sustains marital communion. But spiritual exercises alone would not be sufficient in assisting married couples. Prayer needs to be balanced with work. And here then is the social aspect of the accompaniment.

Pope Francis gives a comprehensive description of the social aspect of this accompaniment thus;

Parishes, movements can help in a variety of ways to support families and help them grow. These might include: meetings of couples living in the same neighbourhood, brief retreats for couples; talks by experts on concrete issues facing families, marriage

196 Ibid., no. 223. 197 Ibid., no. 230. 198 Ibid. 199 Ibid., no. 227. 83

counselling, home missionaries who help couples discuss their difficulties and desires, social services dealing with family problems like addiction, infidelity and domestic violence, programmes of spiritual growth, workshops for parents with troubled children and family meetings….There is also the contribution made by groups of married couples that provide assistance as part of their commitment to service, prayer formation and mutual support. Such groups enable couples to be generous, to assist other families and to share the faith; at the same time they strengthen marriages and help them grow.200 Families that are economically challenged could also benefit materially from some of the groups which Pope Francis mentioned in the citation above. The population of both married and unmarried Catholic youths in Igboland far outnumbers that of the elderly. And many of these youths are unemployed. In order to remedy this situation, dioceses could establish a job centre where job seekers would easily and reliably be informed of available job opportunities. But beyond this, the Church could, as much as possible, invest considerable resources in job-opportunity creating projects.

Furthermore, some couples encounter reproductive challenges in their first years of marriage. When such challenges are not maturely handled early enough, they often snowball into other crisis that might eventually harm marriage and family. Indeed for the Igbo, no family challenge can be as devastating as that of childlessness.

In order to assist couples who have reproductive challenges, the parish may create opportunities for regular consultation with experts drawn from relevant disciplines. In addition to that, the parish may organise monthly prayer sessions for childless couples. Indeed, the combination of both material and spiritual resources would be of immense benefits to such couples.

But in cases where a couple’s chances at reproduction seem hopeless, they should be encouraged to opt for child-adoption. In Igboland, despite the many cases of childless couples, the rate of adoption is relatively low. Often, the issue is that “many do not fully accept their adopted children. They see these children as reminders of their inability to beget their own biological children”.201 But such an attitude towards adoption seems to contradict the Igbo belief in the communal ownership of children (Nwa bụ nwa ọha). In the past, polygamy was effective in ensuring that

200 Ibid., no. 229. 201 Paulinus Ezeokafor, The Family: “Shoring up the foundations”, September 8, 2014 (unpublished work). 84 there was hardly any childless family. But cases of childless families have become inevitable, since the Igbo acceptance of Christianity. (I do not suggest that Christianity is the cause of childlessness in marriage) Christianity does not support polygamy, but it, however, supports adoption. Thus, according to Bishop Paulinus Ezeokafor;

The Task is to continue to highlight adoption in a positive light. One way to this is to call to mind that all Christians, including the adoptive parents themselves, are adopted sons and daughter of God. If we are all adopted sons and daughters of God, then being an adoptive father or mother is a privilege. It is like being in a position similar to that of God, in a relationship marked by grace and benevolence vis-à-vis another human being. Secondly, the example of St. Joseph comes readily to mind. He was the foster father of Jesus. In other words, Jesus was in a sense, his adopted son.202 In a similar vein, adoption should be understood as the Christian “version” of the Igbo belief in nwa-bụ-nwa-ọha (communal ownership of a child/ren). Thus, pastors should also leverage on this cultural belief when catechising as a means of promoting adoption among the people. In effect, if the Igbo believe that a child belongs not just to a person, but to the community, this implies that every child, no matter who they are, is entitled to a home. And in the case of adopted children, the adoptive parents offers them that home. Moreover, adoption should also not be presented as the concern of childless couples alone. The responsibility to care for life is the vocation of every Christian. In this light, Pope Francis references a broader reflection on adoption in the following words;

The choice of adoption and foster care expresses a particular kind of fruitfulness in the marriage experience, and not only in cases of infertility. In the light of those situations where a child is desired at any cost, as a right for one´s self-fulfillment, adoption and foster care, correctly understood, manifest an important aspect of parenting and the raising of children. They make people aware that children, whether natural, adoptive or taken in foster care, are person in their own right who need to be accepted, loved and cared for, and not just brought into this world. The best interest of a child should always underlie any decision in adoption and foster care.203

202 Ibid. 203 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 180. 85

In summary, one must admit that it would be difficult for couples to put into practice such teachings on adoption. One also understands the agony of childless couples. But what other chances do childless couples have that are morally acceptable to the Church? For couples in desperate need of their own children, should the church consider other ethically controversial possibilities that are offered by science? Should the Church, for instance, rethink its position on artificial insemination or other unnatural means of human reproduction? To attempt answers to these questions here would be beyond the scope of this work. Moreover, such moral questions demand more than a straight-forward answer.

I mentioned earlier that marriage itself, when it emerges either as the pressure to marry or the fear of being unmarried, is a challenge among many Igbo. It is not enough to get married but the bigger challenge is to remain married. Indeed, many marriages have broken. Some former partners remarry either traditionally or civilly and there are no signs that the rate of divorce is abating. What pastoral ways are offered by Pope Francis for the care of either divorced people and or the divorced and remarried?

3.2 Active Responses to Family Challenges in Irregular Situations.

Marriages still break down notwithstanding the wealth of resources expended at the proactive level of pastoral responses. And when family breaks down, the impact is felt not only by family members but also by the Church and society at large. Family breakdown could take different shapes, but our main focus here is on divorce, particularly, the divorced and remarried couples. Owing to the irregularity of the situations of divorced people in the Church, Pope Francis proposes some pastoral actions geared towards assisting them to remain part of the ecclesial family. These pastoral actions I have termed “active responses”.

In Amoris laetitia, irregular situations could be understood as “situations that contradict the Church’s canonical rules, as determined by clear, objective criteria and with consequences in the legal sphere“.204 Divorce is one of such situations.

204 José Granados, Stephan Kampowski and Juan José Pérez-Soba, Accompanying, Discerning, Integrating: A Handbook for the Pastoral Care of the Family According to Amoris Laetitia: (Ohio: Emmaus Road, 2017), 45. 86

I examined, earlier, statistical estimates on the rate of marriage breakdown in Igboland. I concluded from my analysis of the data, that family breakdown in terms of either divorce or annulment is not likely to abate. Annulment is legal, although its implications might not always be favourable. Divorce is not legal in the Church. Divorced couples in Igboland are granted divorce either according to customary or civil law. Some remarry while others do not. Some consider themselves as no longer fully part of the Church and would consequently not participate actively in the life of the Church. Some would like to remain active in the life of the Church, but are, apparently, sometimes, not treated warmly by the parish community.

I also observed earlier that the Igbo attach high premium on marriage, and that they consider marital state as demanding of a responsible life-style. This is part of the reasons married persons are preferred for some leadership positions in the Church and society. Although the Igbo are very sympathetic of the situation of the divorced, yet they are not always accorded equal social regard compared to those in regular marriages. In this regard, Pope Francis offers us some pastoral ideas for understanding the situation of the divorced and remarried, and ways of accompanying them. Part of his approach would also be relevant for the divorced and not-remarried people.

3.2.1 Approach of pastoral accompaniment

In Amoris laetitia, pastoral accompaniment is at the basis of the pastoral care of the family. Accompaniment cuts across the remote preparations through the proximate to the immediate. Thus, accompaniment should not only feature at one phase and be absent at the other. For Pope Francis, it should characterise all pastoral work for the family. However, for those in irregular situations, Pope Francis proposes a special kind of accompaniment. Already in chapter six of the Apostolic Exhortation, which he titled “Some Pastoral Perspectives”, the Pope alludes to this special kind of accompaniment in these words;

The Synod Fathers noted that special discernment is indispensable for the pastoral care of those who are separated, divorced or abandoned. Respect needs to be shown especially for the suffering of those who have unjustly endured separation, divorce or abandonment, or those who have been forced by maltreatment from a husband or wife to interrupt their life together….Pastoral care must necessarily include efforts at reconciliation and mediation,

87

through the establishment of specialised counselling centres in dioceses.205 And for the divorced and not-remarried people he further states that “divorced people who are not remarried, and often bear witness to marital fidelity, ought to be encouraged to find in the Eucharist the nourishment they need to sustain them in their present state of life”.206

At this stage, it is important to comment on the first citation concerning the establishment of specialised counselling centres in dioceses, which I have also mooted elsewhere in this work. The idea of specialised counselling centres in dioceses across Igboland also implies the training of priests and lay persons for the family apostolate. This, indeed, would be very beneficial to couples. In most parishes, some pastors are overwhelmed by the enormity of their pastoral work that they hardly could afford sufficient time for thorough pastoral accompaniment of couples. But the establishment of specialised centres, centralises and prioritises pastoral efforts for the family, in ways capable of bearing the desired fruits. The goal of such special pastoral accompaniment should ultimately be ‘integration’. Thus, according to Pope Francis, “the baptised who are divorced and civilly remarried need to be more fully integrated into the Christian communities in the variety of ways possible, while avoiding any occasion of scandal. The logic of integration is the key to their pastoral care”.207 This is instructive. The different pastoral organs of every parish, which consist of pious associations, sodalities, and so on should function as effective channels of reception, acceptance and integration of divorced persons into the parish family. Roman Catholic parishes in Igboland are structurally made up of such organisations. In their constitutions, pastoral associations should avoid provisions and clauses that overtly or covertly disqualifies divorced people from being part of their membership. Integration “consists of reforming structures and norms that are external to the person, so that he or she may be considered equal to everyone else”.208 Indeed, it entails offering them opportunities for service and entrusting them with positions of responsibility like their counterparts, and according to Pope Francis;

It is important that the divorced who have entered a new union should be made to feel part of the Church. They are not excommunicated and should not be treated as such, since they

205 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 242. 206 Ibid. 207 Ibid., no. 299. 208Granados, Kampowski and Pérez-Soba, Accompanying, Discerning, Integrating, 64. 88

remain part of the ecclesial community….language or conduct that might lead them to feel discriminated against should be avoided, and they should be encouraged to participate in the life of the community.209 And appealing to the effects of baptismal sacrament and the maternal image of the Church, the Pope continues;

They are baptised; they are brothers and sisters; the Holy Spirit pours into their hearts gifts and talents for the good of all. Their participation can be expressed in different ecclesial services, which necessarily requires discerning which of the various forms of exclusion practiced in the liturgical, pastoral, educational and institutional framework can be surmounted. Such persons need to feel not as excommunicated members of the Church, but instead as living members, able to live and grow in the Church and experience her as a mother who welcomes them always, who takes care of them with affection and encourages them along the path of life and the Gospel.210 The divorced already bear enormous burden. The emotional and psychological trauma that they bear should not be compounded by any form of hostility or indifference by the Church. And the goal of integration is not merely to give them a sense of belonging, but to gradually accompany them to a brighter realisation of their situation before God and to discover possible ways of entering into full communion with the Church, that “can be attained only in the Eucharist, the source of all charity”.211 One can take examples of this integration from two passages of the bible. For instance, “The parable of the prodigal son tells us about this process, presenting it as integration into the father´s household….This is a path to conversion and regeneration of heart, a path toward which God himself urges us, while he comes to meet us, to welcome his son (daughter) who is returning”.212

Similarly, consider also Jesus’ meeting with the Samaritan woman at Jacob´s well in John’s Gospel (4:1-42). In the conversation that ensued between the woman and Jesus, she was led to a realisation

209 Ibid, no. 243. 210 Ibid. no. 299. 211 Granados, Kampowski and Pérez-Soba, Accompanying, Discerning, Integrating, 64. 212 Ibid., 61. 89 of her situation before God, a transformation of life-style and a deeper integration into the community.

Furthermore, another important aspect of this accompaniment is the care of children of divorced couples. Children are mostly devastated when marriage breaks down and this might have adverse effects in their adulthood. Adequate pastoral resources should be invested in the care of children. “The Church while appreciating the situation of conflict that are part of marriage, cannot fail to speak out on behalf of those who are most vulnerable: the children who suffer often in silence….For this reason, Christian communities must not abandon divorced parents who enter a new union, but should support them in their efforts to bring up their children”.213 The parish community should be made a home for such children where in contact with other children they would readily find fraternal love and communion.

Pope Francis envisages that his approach to the pastoral care of people living in ‘irregular situations’ might be misconstrued. Indeed, both prior, as well as during and after the Synod, some bishops and theologians expressed skepticism on the tenability of the papal approach. Others were worried about its apparent shift from the Church’s doctrinal stance regarding such issues, but some others welcomed it. Reacting to this, Laurentia Magesa, a Tanzanian Theologian, argues;

The standpoints on the synod’s theme range from the ‘conservative’ or ‘doctrinally rigorist’ to ‘progressive’ camps, to use the familiar (but certainly far from accurate) labels. Roughly, there were those delegates who held firm to the church teaching in place, one of excluding people in ‘irregular’ marital unions-namely, divorced and remarried people…from receiving the sacraments, in particular, the Eucharist. There were others who encouraged a rethinking of this teaching and position, arguing for a more understanding, ‘merciful’ approach of judging situations case by case, where the door would be left open for some people in irregular situations to participate in the sacraments of the Church.214 In Nigeria, particularly in the Catholic dioceses in Igboland, there is still no official document regarding the implementation of the papal pastoral recommendations for “irregular” situations of

213 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 246. 214 Laurentia Magesa, “The Conscience of the African Church in the Synod on the Family and Amoris Laetitia” in Thomas Knieps-Port le Roi, et al., eds., Intams Review: Journal for the Study of Marriage and Spirituality, Vol. 22, No. 1 (Leuven, 2016), 155. 90 marriage. The apparent passivity of the Catholic Bishop Conference of Nigeria (CBCN) may not mean a rejection of the recommendations but rather a ‘safer option’ of remaining with the traditional doctrinal approach known to the faithful and devoid of controversy or possible scandal.

But in my opinion, the approach of Pope Francis does not deviate from the traditional doctrinal stance of the Church. It rather made the discourse more sensitive and relevant to the situation of families in our time. In the Apostolic Exhortation itself, Pope Francis appeals to doctrinal orthodoxy, moral theology and mercy in justifying his pastoral approach. His arguments are so persuasive that I think they should form useful resources for the pastoral accompaniment of families in difficult situations in Igboland. I shall in the next section further examine these arguments.

3.2.1.1 Stance of the Church’s Doctrine.

The Magisterium of the Church, based on interpretation of relevant scriptural passages, expressly forbids the divorced and remarried from the reception of the Holy Eucharist, since they are living in contradiction to the Church’s doctrine of indissolubility of marriage. Thus, according to Willem Jacobus Cardinal Eijk;

There are loci theologici for this in Sacred Scripture and in the constant tradition of the Church that rule out the admission of divorced and remarried to the Holy Communion….Jesus himself explicitly forbids repudiating one´s one wife and contracting another marriage and describes the later as adultery (Mt 5:32: 19:9; Mk 10:11-12; Lk 16:18).215 Similarly, St. Paul declares in his first letter to the Corinthians thus, “To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from the husband (but if she does let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife”.216

Indeed, it is based on the doctrine of the indissolubility of marriage that the divorced and remarried cannot be admitted to the Holy Eucharist since their state of life contradicts the implications of this doctrine. Through the years, the doctrine of indissolubility has featured in a number of the

215 Willem Jacobus Cardinal Eijk, “Can Divorced and Civilly Remarried Persons Receive Communion?”, in Eleven Cardinals Speak on Marriage and the Family, ed. Winfried Aymans (San Francisco: Ignatius, 2015), 45. 216 1 Cor. 7: 10-11 91

Church´s document. Let us mention a few of them. According to Pope Paul IV in Gaudium et Spes no. 48,

The intimate partnership of married life and love has been established by the Creator and qualified by His laws, and is rooted in the conjugal covenant of irrevocable personal consent. Hence by that human act whereby spouses mutually bestow and accept each other a relationship arises which by divine will and in the eyes of society too is a lasting one. For the good of the spouses and their off-springs as well as of society, the existence of the sacred bond no longer depends on human decisions alone. For, God Himself is the author of matrimony, endowed as it is with various benefits and purposes.217 Similarly, Pope Paul VI’s post-conciliar encyclical on Humanae vitae spoke of conjugal love as “faithful and exclusive until death”.218 Furthermore, in Familiaris Consortio, undoubtedly the most elaborate teaching on marriage and family since Vatican II, the doctrine of “indissolubility” is also highlighted. According to the document, “conjugal communion is characterized not only by its unity but also by its indissolubility: As a mutual gift of two persons, this intimate union, as well as the good of children, imposes total fidelity on the spouses and argues for an unbreakable oneness between them”.219 The implication of the Church´s doctrine on “indissolubility” for the divorced and remarried is further captured in Familiaris Consortio;

The Church reaffirms her practice, which is based upon Sacred Scripture, of not admitting to Eucharistic Communion divorced persons who have remarried. They are unable to be admitted thereto from the fact that their state and condition of life objectively contradict that union of love between Christ and the Church which is signified and effected by the Eucharist. Besides this, there is another special pastoral reason: if these people were admitted to the Eucharist, the faithful would be led into error and confusion regarding the Church's teaching about the indissolubility of marriage.220

217 Pope Paul VI, Pastoral Constitution on The Church in the Modern World, Gaudium et Spes (December 7, 1965), no. 48. 218 Pope Paul VI, Post-conciliar Encyclical On the Regulation of Birth, Humane Vita, 9, July 25, 1968. 219 John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, no. 20. 220 Ibid, no. 84. 92

On its part, Amoris Laetitia does not deviate from the doctrinal tradition of the Church. Pope Francis clearly affirms it in these words;

Christian marriage, as a reflection of the union between Christ and his Church, is fully realised in the union between a man and a woman who give themselves to each other in a free, faithful and exclusive love, who belong to each other until death….In order to avoid all misunderstanding, I would point out that in no way must the Church desist from proposing the full ideal of marriage, God’s plan in all its grandeur.221 It is, therefore, obvious that the pastoral approach prescribed by Amoris Laetitia for the care of the divorced and remarried people, does not only take into cognisance the objective doctrinal stance of the Church on such issues, but also seeks to make them integral part of the accompaniment process.

But outside the doctrinal stance, Amoris Laetitia takes a step further by appealing to Catholic moral theology.

3.2.1.2 Stance of Catholic Moral Theology

In her teachings, the Church endeavours to present her ideals of faith and morals. She exhorts all her children to live uprightly. The Church is like a caring and patient mother, who never gives up on her children when they err. Thus, “the Synod Fathers stated that, although the Church realizes that any breach of the marriage bond is against the will of God, she is also conscious of the frailty of many of her children”.222 Indeed, every human community is made of individuals with unequal abilities and statues. There are those who are stronger or richer than others. But the test of the strength of any human society is determined by the strength of the people at the margins: the weak. And without compromising its standards, a society can, as much as possible, carry all of its members along.

Accordingly, Amoris Laetitia makes reference to some moral principles which are useful in the discernment of the situation of couples in ‘irregular cases’ and in pastorally accompanying them.

221 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, nos. 249 and 307. 222 Ibid, no. 291. 93

The first consideration is what is called ‘the law of gradualness’: “The law of gradualness is the principle used in Catholic moral and pastoral theology, according to which people should be encouraged to grow closer to God and his plan for our lives in a step-by-step manner rather than expecting to jump from an initial conversion to perfection in a single step.”223 According to Familiaris Consortio, the law implies that the human person “knows, loves and accomplishes moral good by stages of growth.”224 Pope Francis, while further commenting on this law, clarifies that it is “not a ‘gradualness of law’ but rather a gradualness in the prudential exercise of free acts on the part of subjects who are not in position to understand, appreciate or fully carry out the objective demands of the law.”225 While not encouraging moral weakness or compromising moral standards, “the law of gradualness”, therefore, “presupposes that a person has an inability, or serious difficulty, in implementing the law, at least in its totality, in all its requirements, because of a condition of weakness”. 226

Pastors of souls are therefore exhorted to be patient and painstaking in accompanying married and divorced couples who find themselves in such moral situation. They are to guide them step-by- step to fully realise their situation before God and to discover what steps to take in order to foster their full participation in the life of the Church. In other words, pastors of souls “must facilitate the healing of their weakness, that is, increase their ability to act, utilizing for this work the normal means of pastoral ministry, especially preaching and the sacraments”.227

Apart from the moral principle of ‘gradualness of the law’, Amoris Laetitia also appeals to the doctrine of ‘mitigating circumstances’ in the pastoral discernment of couples in ‘irregular situations.’ ‘Mitigating circumstances’ can be understood as those factors and conditions that do not excuse or justify an offence (sin), but may diminish the moral culpability of the offender (sinner). In this light, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC no. 2352), citing an example with masturbation, clearly states;

223 Jimmy Akin, “The Law of Gradualness: 12 Things to Know and Share”, http://www.ncregister.com, October 13, 2014 (Accessed October 16, 2019). 224 John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, no. 34. 225 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 295. 226 Cardinal Francesco Coccopalmerio, A Commentary on Chapter Eight of Amoris Laetitia, (New York: Paulist Press, 2017), 39. 227 Ibid. 94

“To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.”228

Accordingly, in Amoris Laetitia Pope Francis refers to this doctrine of “mitigating circumstances” in these words;

The Church possesses a solid body of reflection concerning mitigating factors and situations. Hence it is no longer simply to be said that all those in any ‘irregular’ situation are living in a state of mortal sin and are deprived of sanctifying grace. More is involved here than mere ignorance of the rule. A subject may know full well the rule, yet have great difficulty in understanding its inherent values, or be in a concrete situation which does not allow him or her to act differently and decide otherwise without further sin.229 The Pope does not justify the situation of the married and divorced persons, but exhorts pastors of souls to have an open disposition in the discernment of such ‘irregular situations’. Pastors should employ a case-by-case approach that takes into cognisance the details of every case, for “responsibility with respect to certain actions or decisions is not the same in all cases”.230 Generally, the divorced and remarried are living in an objective situation of sin but individual culpability might diminish if one takes into consideration the details of each case. Take for instance “the cases of those who made every effort to save their first marriage and were unjustly abandoned, or of those who have entered into a second union for the sake of the children’s upbringing, and are sometimes subjectively certain in conscience that their previous and irreparably broken marriage had never been valid”.231 It would be unfair, perhaps, impossible to apply a general rule to all cases without knowing the details of each one of them. And according to Pope Francis;

…neither the Synod nor this Exhortation could be expected to provide a new set of rules, canonical in nature and applicable to all cases. What is possible is a simply a renewed encouragement to undertake a responsible personal and pastoral discernment of particular cases, one which would recognize that since the degree of

228 Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2352. 229 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 301. 230 Ibid., no. 302. 231 Ibid., no. 298. 95

responsibility is not equal in all cases, the consequences or effects of a rule need not necessarily always be the same.232 This is why discernment is key to the pastoral care of persons in such “irregular situations”. Discernment does end with understanding and distinguishing one case from another, but part of its goal is to help the couples to “find possible ways of responding to God and growing in the midst of limits”.233 They are not to be abandoned. Indeed, they are to be pastorally accompanied to grow in the life of grace. And part of this help which Pope Francis mentioned is laid out in the footnote of Amoris Laetitia, where he recognises that, “in certain cases, this can include the help of the sacraments”.234 He further reminds priests that “the confessional must not be a torture chamber, but rather an encounter with the Lord’s mercy.” In the same way, “the Eucharist is not a prize for the perfect, but a powerful medicine and nourishment for the weak”.235

Perhaps, Pope Francis understands that his appeal to moral theology might still be insufficient in the pastoral care of divorced and remarried couples. He therefore, appeals to the evangelical and theological principle of mercy.

3.2.1.3 Stance of Mercy

Here, Pope Francis reflects on the place of ‘mercy’ in the ministry of the Church, with particular reference to the divorced and remarried couples. His is neither of the view that the Church reneges on her laws concerning divorced and remarried couples nor disregard magisterial teachings therewith. He is rather concerned with a way of applying the laws and doctrines so as to bring healing to the people rather than increase their pain. This position he made abundantly clear in these words;

“In order to avoid all misunderstanding, I would point out that in no way must the Church desist from proposing the full ideal of marriage, God’s plan in all its grandeur….A lukewarm attitude,

232 Ibid., no. 300. Cf. Fourteenth Ordinary General Assembly of The Synod of Bishops, Relatio Finalis (24 October 2015), 51. 233 Ibid., no. 305. 234 Ibid., no. 351. 235 Pope Francis, Apostolic Exhortation, Evangelii Gaudium (24 November 2013), nos. 44 and 47, in Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 351. 96 any kind of relativism, or an undue reticence in proposing that ideal, would be a lack of fidelity to the Gospel and also of love on the part of the Church for the young people themselves”.236

However, he continues thus; “To show understanding in the face of exceptional situations never implies dimming the light of the fuller ideal, or proposing less than what Jesus offers to the human being”.237

Indeed, an effective pastoral ministry for the families in such difficult situation should not be legalistic. Certainly, the laws are helpful as a pastoral guide in the process of discerning and accompanying such couples, but “the Church’s pastors in proposing to the faithful the full ideal of the Gospel and the Church´s teaching, must also help them to treat the weak with compassion, avoiding aggravation or unduly harsh or hasty judgments.”238

Laws are made, among other things, to ensure justice in the society. Law and mercy do not contradict one another, in fact they “belong together in the Christian dispensation. One needs to only perceive the two correctly to discover their unity. The Christian never needs to choose between mercy and the law. Mercy is the sensibility with which Christians interpret the sense of the law. Sometimes mercy will produce a hug, and sometimes a rebuke”.239 And according to Pope Francis, “mercy is the fullness of justice and the most radiant manifestation of God’s truth”.240 Mercy is not something external to the Church. It is an integral part of her identity and ministry. In other words, “mercy is the very foundation of the Church’s life. All of her pastoral activity should be caught up in the tenderness which she shows to believers; nothing in her preaching and her witness to the world can be lacking in mercy”.241 The Church as a sacramental community is the dispenser of the God’s grace which she receives not by the dictates of the Law but from the abundance of God’s Mercy. Therefore, “we are called to show mercy, because mercy was first shown to us”.242

236 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 307. 237 Ibid. 238 Ibid. no. 308. 239 Gerald J. Bednar, “Mercy and Law in Amoris Laetitia” in L’Osservatore Romano, (Weekly Edition in English), (Vatican City: 10 November 2017), 8. https://www.ewtn.com (Accessed October 16, 2019). 240 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, no. 311. 241 Ibid. no. 310 242 Ibid., Cf Pope Francis, Bull of Indiction of the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy, Misericordiae Vultus, (11 April 2015), 12. 97

And in the case of the divorced and remarried couples, a mercy-filled pastoral approach leads them to know the truth about their situation before God and also proffers solution that reintegrates them into the Christian community. Couples who have passed through the pains of disordered relationship need “a pastoral discernment filled with merciful Love, which is ever ready to understand, forgive, accompany, hope, and above all integrate”.243

Let me reiterate the points we just made. Doctrine, moral theology and mercy are three essential ‘tools’ in Amoris Laetitia for the pastoral discernment and accompaniment of divorced and remarried couples. Doctrine states the objective position of the Church, moral theology considers the subjective culpability of the individual, but the pastoral attitude that links the entire process is mercy.

243 Ibid., no. 312. 98

CHAPTER FOUR

EVALUATION AND CONCLUSION

COMPLEMENTARY PRAXIS: DRAWING PASTORAL RESPONSE FROM IGBO SOCIOCULTURAL CONTEXT.

In this sub-section I shall evaluate the community-centeredness of marriage and its value in promoting the family in Igboland.

Like many African societies, the Igbo have rich traditional marriage rites and customs that predate Christianity in Igboland. These rites and customs are still practiced till date, though with slight modifications, and these vary from village to village. The Igbo traditional marriage ceremony is referred to as “Igba-nkwụ”. Igba-nkwu is, however, the last stage of the series of activities and events that constitute the traditional marriage. Most of these events take place on separate dates. Thus, there are, at least, three stages that precede Igba-nkwu. These three stages, in an ideal situation, are important in determining whether the final ceremony “Igba-nkwu” would eventually happen or not.

Throughout the stages of the marriage rites, the families and entire communities of the intending couple are actively involved in the processes. This shows that community-centeredness is an important aspect of Igbo traditional marriage. Invariably, “Igbo marriage is an alliance between two families (perhaps two communities) rather than a contract between two individuals”.244

I shall explore the stages in Igbo traditional marriage that clearly depict its character of community- centeredness, and thereafter examine its pastoral value for strengthening Christian marriage and family in Igboland.

As already indicated, the stages vary in accordance with particular customs of each of the different Igbo towns and villages. But generally, there are four stages, namely, Ikụ-Aka n’uzo (lit. knocking at the door), Ijụ-Ase (prenuptial inquiry), Ime-Iheisi nwanyi (payment of bridewealth) and Igba- Nkwụ (wedding ceremony). In all of these stages, the families (nuclear and extended) of

244 Victor C. Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeast Nigeria (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston 1965), 50. 99 prospective couples are actively involved. But we shall explore the first and second, namely, Ikụ- Aka n’uzo and Ijụ-Ase.

4.1.1 Ikụ-Aka n’ụzọ

Ikụ-Aka n’ụzọ can be translated in English as “to knock at a door”. In Igboland, a prospective groom is expected to carry out this custom as a vital step in his negotiation for marriage to an Igbo lady. Although rendered in plain language, Ikụ-Aka, (we shall, subsequently make use of this short form) however, does not imply physical “knocking at the door”. It is a formal marriage proposal by the prospective groom and his family members to the prospective bride and her own family members. Prior to this meeting, it should already have been communicated to the prospective bride and her family, either by the groom-to-be, or his family members about the intention to marry her. A day is fixed for a public expression of this intention in the presence of the bride and both families. This formal proposal is what is referred to as in Igbo as Ikụ-Aka.

It is important to note that during this meeting, it is the groom-to-be`s father or guardian (eldest member of his extended family) who speaks on his behalf. He introduces himself and the group as well, and announces the reason for the visit. The groom-to-be is largely passive and is mainly expected to respond in approbation when prompted to do so.

After declaring the reason for the visit, the prospective bride is called in and asked whether she consents to the proposal. If her answer is “yes” the meeting will continue with some modest feasting. Afterwards, the subsequent meetings would be scheduled. But should her answer be “no”, the meeting would come to an end and negotiations may be discontinued.

It is also important to note that Ikụ-Aka can also take place in the absence of either or both of the prospective couple. In this case, the groom-to-be might not be physically present but would be represented by his family members. Similarly, the prospective bride might also be unable to be physically present, but her family members would receive the visitors in her name and their intentions subsequently communicated to her. Her response would determine the next stage of the marriage rite.

Comparatively, Ikụ-Aka could be seen as the Igbo variation of the western practice of marriage proposal (which is also becoming popular in parts of Africa). In the West, marriage proposal could

100 be done in a restaurant, shopping mall, and other public places, in the presence of a handful of friends or colleagues and passersby. The presence of family members is not necessary and often the prospective bride is taken unawares by the intending groom.

Contrariwise, for the Igbo, since marriage is not an individual affair, every necessary step associated with it is undertaken communally. This approach, “contrasts with the Euro-American tradition, where the emphasis on romantic love makes individual choice imperative. In Igbo society, it is the love growing out of the family created by marriage that is emphasized.”245 One must, however, observe that many Igbo youths of nowadays have found a balance between the individual choice inspired by romantic love and the community interest in marriage. Thus, while they are free to make their choices of partners, they are not free to dispense with customary rites undertaken together with their families and communities. Here also, the communal nature of Ezinaụlọ is evident in the foremost rite of Iku-Aka which is constitutive of the rites of marriage in Igbo sociocultural context.

If Ikụ-Aka succeeds, it is followed later by Ijụ-Ase. In other words, if the prospective bride consents to the marriage proposal, the groom-to-be’s family would still be requested to await further details from the bride-to-be’s family regarding the next step to take. It is during this period of waiting that Ijụ-Ase is conducted.

4.1.2 Ijụ-Ase

Ijụ-Ase could be translated into English as “to inquire”. During the interval between Ikụ-Aka and eventual Ime-iheisi (payment of bride-wealth), both families, if they do not yet have sufficient knowledge of one another, conduct secret inquiries in that regard. Thus Ijụ-Ase is pre-nuptial inquiry aimed at gathering information about the personality of the intending spouses, their family background, possible consanguinity or affinity, and other sundry information prior to consenting to Ime-iheisi246

245 Ibid, 52. 246 It is noteworthy to observe that in the traditional marriage rite, consent is given more than once. “Marriage consent” “has been built into an elaborate ritual and is conducted through public channels. [Confer. Victor C. Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeast Nigeria (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston 1965), 52]. 101

The inquirers may want to know whether there is “incidence of premature death, whether the status is osu or diala (where osu-caste system is practiced), the divorce rate in the family, and whether the rules of exogamy are respected”.247

In recent times, some modifications have been made to the focus of Iju-Ase, especially with regard to the personality of the intending spouse. Such additions may include qualities like the “level and quality of education (occupation), personal comeliness, social disposition, spiritual interest, religious denomination, etc”.248. If after the inquiries, either or both families are not satisfied with the findings, marriage negotiations may be suspended, and possibly discontinued. Otherwise “courtship begins and ends with the payment of the bridewealth”.249

Furthermore, Iju-Ase is hardly done in a hurry. It is taken very seriously. For this reason, the inquirers do not include only the family members of intending spouses. They could also be friends of both families as well as townspeople. There seems to be no limit to the number of people involved in the inquiry. Everyone, especially those known to the families, has a part to play.

Indeed, this clearly depicts the character of marriage as a corporate responsibility and Iju-Ase as a system of safeguarding the family from the beginning from avoidable harm. It is a process of ensuring that there is no impediment to the marriage, to use the canonical term. For the Igbo, the seed of a good community is sown in the family. The community suffers when family is challenged. Thus, the community-centeredness of marriage is a value among the Igbo, which like in Ikụ-Aka is also signified in the custom of Iju-Ase.

Having described the nature and significance of Ikụ-aka and Ijụ-Ase, one could ask: What is their relevance in the pastoral care of family in Igboland?

To unpack the relevance of these processes, I propose a pastoral plan that is down-to-earth and more elaborate. To put it differently, a pastoral plan that integrates aspects of Igbo culture and the

247 Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeast Nigeria, 52. Exogamy simply refers to marriage outside of one´s group. It prohibits marriage between members of the same tribe, clan, kindred or village. The Igbo marriage culture is exogamous. In Igboland also, sexual relations with those a man cannot marry is also prohibited 248 Emmanuel Okonkwo, Marriage in the Christian and Igbo Context: Towards an Inculturation (Frankfurt am Main: Peter Lang, 2003) 78. 249 Uchendu, The Igbo of Southeast Nigeria, 52. 102 church’s practice on marriage. For according to Pope Francis, “Each country or region can seek solutions better suited to its culture and sensitive to its traditions and local needs”.250

Therefore, in the pastoral care of families, effort should be made to engage the cultural values of the people which have been effective in their local settings in creative dialogue with the official teaching and practice of the Church. For instance, in Igboland certain marriage disputes can hardly be resolved even with the finest team of pastors and counsellors, without recourse to the native or local communal structure of adjudication - ụmụnna. Notwithstanding its recent challenges, the ụmụnna is an effective family dispute resolution mechanism in Igboland. Couples are invited for a meeting. It may take one or more meetings, but often marriage disputes are resolved through this means.

More so, since the Igbo family is integrative and communal, when challenges arise, they affect not only couples, but also the persons that are indirectly tied to that marriage. I think therefore, that pastoral work for families would be more effective in Igboland if the Church creates synergy between ecclesial marriage structures and Igbo native customs. The lack of synergy is the reason for the duplication of marriage today in Igboland. It seems safe to also assume that the increasing rate of divorce and nullification of marriages is partly a fallout of this duplication. It creates unnecessary option for intending couples and might lead to the devaluation of either or even both marriage traditions.

Without prejudice to sacramental import of Christian marriage, one wonders why a couple would be expected to wed in the Church after undergoing the elaborate and profound rites of Igbo traditional marriage. It is true that both traditions do not conflict with one another, but perhaps they rather partly contradict one another, and do not officially recognise each other. If they do, it would be therefore needless to replicate some of their common features. An example of this would be the prenuptial enquiries that are already conducted, according to local custom, in view of the traditional marriage before Church wedding. Again, it would be superfluous to repeat consents during Church wedding, since these are already exchanged according to local custom within the traditional marriage setting.

250 Pope Francis, Apostolic Exhortation on The Joy of Love, Amoris Laetitia (March 19, 2016), 3. 103

Thus the communal nature of Igbo family as signified in Ikụ-Aka and Ijụ-Ase represents a call for the Church in Igboland to find creative ways of reconciling its pastoral work for marriage and the family with relevant local customs and practices. Issues that arise as a result of this lack of unification has made sacramental marriage look like a mere social convention. How can one explain, for the instance, the regular cases of traditionally married couples postponing church wedding, while living together and even procreating? Some postpone church wedding indefinitely until there is opportunity of mass-wedding251 for all the “unmarried”. This is so, because the traditional marriage is not officially recognised by the Church. Couples who are traditionally married but not in facie ecclesiae are not allowed to receive Holy Communion. Meanwhile, couples who are validly married both according to Igbo and ecclesial rites can obtain divorce in the former but not in the latter. Similarly, a marriage nullified by the Church can still be valid according to Igbo tradition. This situation creates confusion that endangers marriage and family and perhaps, the Christian faith as well.

In Igbo traditional marriage, the consent of the would-be couple is necessary, but there is also a necessary accommodation of the consent of the parents (Guardian). The importance of parental consent is shown in the prominent role they play in the lives of their children and in all the stages of the traditional marriage. This is evident in Ikụ-Aka and Ijụ-Ase, perhaps even more in Ime-iheisi and Igba-Nkwụ. Parents often determine the success of the entire process. This important role is totally ignored in Church marriage. In the Church, the role of parents is rather recognised in the remote and proximate preparations, i.e during infancy and adolescence. However, in the immediate stages as well as subsequent years, parental role diminishes while that of couples and the Church dominate. Accordingly, Pope Francis maintains that married couples are the minister of the sacrament of matrimony and they do this primarily through their consent. According to the pontiff;

Their consent and bodily union are the divinely appointed means whereby they become ‘one flesh’….The Church can require that the wedding be celebrated publicly, with the presence of witnesses and other conditions that have varied over the course of time, but this

251 A collective wedding ceremony in which large number of couples are wedded at the same time. It is often done in Nigeria with the intention of regularising an already existing union, so that couples can fully participate in the life of the Church. In other to encourage more people to participate in it, parishes often undertake the financial implications themselves. 104

does not detract from the fact that the couple who marry are the ministers of the sacrament.252 I think that parental consent should not be overlooked in Church marriage. I do not suggest that it overshadows or diminishes personal consent of couples. Parental consent may not be a guarantee for a stable marriage and its absence might cause no adverse effect to marriage. However, parental consent reinforces that cultural understanding of marriage as a communal affair. This understanding strengthens marriage, among other things, by forming couples to respect not only their interest, but also the interest of persons who value the marriage a lot.

Should the Church unify Christian and Igbo traditional marriage ceremonies, the aspect of parental consent would naturally be taken care of. But this is not all. To add to the question explored in this sub-section, I shall provide other insights that I have gained in the course of this research.

4.2 Insights from this research

Several insights have emerged through this research on the topic of the family. From a subjective point of view, the inspiration for undertaking this research was based on my pastoral work with families in Igboland. This research has deepened my awareness of challenges of the family and generated greater responsive to issues relating to the family. Thus the realisation for any pastor is that the family remains the starting-point of the pastoral ministry. In other words the fruitfulness of ministry in the Church would largely be dependent on pastoral care of the family because the Church is ‘a family of families’ and the family remains a ‘domestic Church.’

Furthermore, exploring the cultural significance of the family among the Igbo equally proves insightful. The unpacking of the word “Ezinaụlọ” has helped me to identify its rich significance as well as its unique challenges and inherent contradictions.

In addition, one realises the potential of the principle of “Ezinaụlọ” (not as family) to effect unity and harmony among peoples of different races, cultures, religions, statuses and gender. What could clearly be seen in the idea of “Ezinaụlọ” is a complementarity inherent in diversity. Thus diversity should be a cohesive force rather than an excuse for division and discrimination among

252 Francis, Amoris Laetitia, 75. 105 people. Two points to note here, namely, the concept of Ezinaụlọ as family and Ezinaụlọ as a principle of complementarity.

As family, Ezinaụlọ suffers challenges from external factors and equally within itself. And in order to properly respond to those challenges I realised that the family (within Igbo context) should, true to its nature, open itself to the positive influence of other traditions, while at the same time remaining faithful to its identity. Regarding this, Amoris Laetitia of Pope Francis offers some responses that are largely consistent with the Church´s tradition. Notwithstanding the plausibility of Francis’ responses, their effectiveness would be limited by that indifference that exists between Igbo and Catholic marriages traditions. Finding a way out of this impasse would be the focus of further research.

4.3 Some Considerations for Further Research

To further develop on what this work has attempted to accomplish, the researcher would need to clearly identify the common and divergent elements that are found in both Igbo and Catholic marriage and family traditions. It would also be helpful to construct or at least, deploy some theological resources that would support the unification of both traditions in such a way that they do no lose their vital features.

In addition, I think that it would be an exercise in futility if the researcher fails to sample public opinion regarding the project. It would be beneficial to find out the public approval rating of such a project. Thus, an empirical research methodology with questionnaires and interviews would be needed for this.

Furthermore it might be helpful, with the assistance of some liturgists and resource persons in Igbo culture and tradition, to design a rite of marriage that unifies both traditions with the purpose of strengthening marriage and family.

4.4 Concluding Remarks

I did not set out in this work with the motive of finding a panacea or magic wand to the challenges of marriage and family in Igboland. Surely, there is no community without its fair share of challenges. There were, of course, several challenges in the course of writing this work. Thus, my

106 motive is to clearly identify what the challenges might be, their root causes and then to suggest ideas that might be helpful in tackling them.

Before starting this work I took it for granted that, being an Igbo myself, I already have more than sufficient knowledge of Igbo culture and tradition. But I was wrong. Moreover I discovered variations of same traditions among different Igbo towns and villages. What I did, is to painstakingly identify those elements that are common among the Igbo. Igbo proverbs and names were very useful in this regard.

A theological work on Igbo culture and tradition is not easy because of the impact of globalisation on cultures. Some traditional ways of life in Igboland are today greatly affected by external influences so that one might not find it easy identifying “pure” or original Igbo way of life. Indeed in many aspects of life of the Igbo, changes are taking place. However in the midst of these changes an astute observer can still pinpoint certain aspects that, to a large extent, retain their essential character. Marriage (and family) represents one of them.

Indeed Ezinaụlọ (family) offered me an authentic entry into the heart of Igbo sociocultural life. According to Victor Chikezie Uchendu, Ezinaụlọ “is a concept which opens the door of Igbo civilisation so that through it, we can truly understand what it means to be Igbo”.253

Having an understanding of what it means to be Igbo is not complete without the knowledge of some of the challenges that confront the Igbo. I therefore went further to examine some of those challenges. It is clear that the challenges have both internal and external sources. While some of these emanate from some traditional beliefs, thoughts and practices of Igbo themselves, others originate from Igbo interaction with a globalised modern world. But where can one find appropriate responses to these challenges?

The post-synodal apostolic exhortation, Amoris Laetitia of Pope Francis offered me pastoral resources with which to respond to some of the challenges of family in Igboland. In Amoris Laetitia Pope Francis teaches that an effective response to family challenges should begin from the family itself together with the necessary support of pastors. Accordingly, he identified three stages of

253 Victor Chikezie Uchendu, “Ezi Na Ụlọ: The Extended Family in Igbo Civilisation,” Dialectical Anthropology Volume 31, (2007), https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007%252Fs10624-007-9019-4.pdf, (Accessed: September 24, 2018), 211. 107 response, namely, remote, proximate and immediate. While the remote stage focuses on childhood and emphasises the role of parents themselves, the proximate concentrates on adolescence with emphasis on the combined role of family and Christian community. The immediate response concerns itself with adulthood, especially in the period before marriage, but also within the first few years of marriage. Here, emphasis is on the role of the Church, Christian community and professionals. I termed these three stages “proactive” responses, because they precede marriage and are directed towards forestalling some avoidable family challenges. But there is yet another vital stage, i.e. accompaniment of couples in irregular situation.

The accompaniment of couples in “irregular situations” is pastoral care given to spouses whose marriage have broken down as result of divorce, separation, and so on, but especially, the divorced and civilly-remarried. This response I termed “active response”. Here, Pope Francis exhorts pastors to expend all possible pastoral resources in the accompaniment of such couples, for the Church is a mother who in the expression of her objective teachings “always does what good she can, even if in the process, her shoes get soiled by the mud of the street”.254

Having said this, the pontiff references doctrinal and theological positions as necessary guides in this regard. But there is yet another perspective, which perhaps is the most controversial in AL namely “Mercy”. Pastors should accompany those in irregular situations with a sincere heart of mercy that properly discerns their situation and is geared towards integrating them into full communion with the Church.

Amoris Laetitia has a universal value, in the sense that it could be applied in all contexts. However in the Igbo context not all of its recommendations would easily work. For instance, child-adoption for childless couples. Although this recommendation is not new to the Igbo, but for many childless couples, adoption is rather a constant reminder of their childlessness than its solution. Moreover, adopted children themselves may face challenges pertaining to family inheritance. What other options may the Church have for childless couples?

Whatever the option might be, I think that the divide that exists between Igbo traditional marriage and Christian marriage constitutes even a bigger challenge. Indeed, it seems that this divide

254 Pope Francis, Apostolic Exhortation on the Proclamation of the Gospel in Today`s World, Evangelii Gaudium (24 November 2013), 45, in Francis, Amoris Laetita, 308. 108 remotely explains the low value attached to adoption. I believe, therefore that if the two traditions are formerly integrated so that they complement one another, marriage and family would be strengthened in Igboland. More than this, Christian faith would be deepened and the society in general would flourish. In fact, a greater percentage of Igbo are Christians but Christianity is yet to fully become Igbo. And the family is a good place to begin the “igbonisation” of Christianity. In order to dwell among us, the Word took flesh through a family. It is therefore my conviction that any project aimed at rooting Christianity in Igboland would be more fruitful if it is anchored either directly or indirectly around the family.

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