INTERNATIONAL OFFICERS CHAPTER OFFICERS PRESIDENT Fred Gildenstern 36 Hogden Rd. NO. CALIFORNIA Lower Derby, PA 19000 Pres.: Harley Cort Vice Pres.: Coy McPhillip VICE PRESIDENT Sec.: Danial Martin Van Lines Treas.: Will Hickcock 465 Twisting Way Reporter: Lew Fisher Knighton, OH 45400 SO. CALIFORNIA Pres.: Derry Churny SECRETARY Vice Pres.: Lilly Marion Rider S. Kremp Sec.: Ben Gregory AMEEKA MEMBERSHIP RATES: 73 Reno Strip Treas.: Shelton Rogers Jack Benny, MI 48000 Reporter: Tippy Toppe Continuing Members: £15 Dues TEXAS New Members: add £5 processing fee PUBLISHER Pres.: Pomp S. Esse R. Bit Trary Vice Pres.: Mel Salton Lapsed Members: add £50 processing fee 6817 Ridgewater Sec/Treas.: Casy Doyle Dulles, TX 75200 Reporter: May & Karl Bellsley MIDWEST MEMBERSHIP SECRETARY Pres.: Leeds Bennet (New memberships and Vice Pres.: Gus Highgenboten mailing problems) Sec.: Rider S. Kremp "Steno" Jolson Treas.: "Kool" Kat P. O. Box 38AB3 Reporter: Milly Yackley THE AMEEKA NEWS BULLETIN Dulles, TX 75200 PHILADELPHIA AREA Published by AMEEKA, a non-profit club devoted to the restoration, distribution TREASURER Pres.: Mack Noddea and enjoyment of musical instruments using perforated paper music rolls. Finger N. Til Vice Pres.: Berry Jonson Sec.: Dirk Pierce Contributions: All SUbjects of interest to readers of the Bulletin are 5050 Westside A Calpella Dr. Treas.: Laura Lember encouraged and invited by the publisher. All articles must be received at least Kiack, CA 95400 Reporter: Ellen Chevy four years prior to pUblication date. Every attempt will be made to publish those articles of particular interest to the publisher at the earliest possible date. The BOARD REPRESENTATIVES SOWNY (So. Ontario, We.t NY) rest will be used as filler when needed. N. Cal.: Luke Frank Pres.: Deep Throat S. Cal.: Rick Digg Vice Pres: Bart Englebruce ADVERTISING Texas: Ward Neiman Sec.: Walt Micheals Phil.: Tim Baylor Treas.: Gil Stellbert • Classltled: £.10 per word, £1.50 minimum. Midwest: Van Lines Reporter: Jon Baker SOWNY: Hank Charles • Display advertising ROCKY MOUNTAIN "-'" Full page 7y,' x 10' £5000 Rky. Mt.: Corky Crackle Pres.: Ronald Lesse One-half page horizontal 7y,' x 4%' £2500 New Jer.: Morgan Geoffrey Sec.: Karen Penzoil One-half page vertical 3%' x 10' £2500 Iowa: Jon Alvinson Treas.: Cory Penzoil New Eng.: Morgan Geoffrey One-fourth page vertical 3%' x 4%' £1250 Reporter: Jory DeFronter • Each photograph or half-tone £5.00 COMMITTEES NEW JERSEY Pres.: Stan Backer • We recommend display advertisers supply camera-ready copy. Copy that is Technical Vice Pres.: Roger Costly oversized or undersized will be run as is. We can prepare your A. X. Pert Sec: Gorman Richards advertisement from your suggested layout at exorbitant cost. 3944 Marcia Ave. Santa Ana Raceway, CA 95000 Treas.: Dean William • All copy must reach the publisher at least 4 yurs prior to pUblication. Reporter: • Cash must accompany order. Typesetting, layout or size alteration charges Honorary Members IOWA will be billed separately. Make checks payable to: R. BH Tf8ry. H. E. 0 Hunter Pres.: Hill N. Dale • All ads will appear wherever and whenever I can fit them in. 2230 Oakhill Rd. Vice Pres.: Peter Stand Dalesborough, CA 94000 Sec/Treas.: John Alvinson Publication of business advertising in no way implies AMEEKA's endorsement Reporter: Robert Mover of any commercial operation. However, AMEEKA reserves the right to refuse AFFILIATED SOCIETIES NEW ENGLAND any ad that is not in keeping with AMEEKA's general standards (if any) or if None that will complaints are received indicating that said business does not serve the best Pres.: Elwin Poore admit to it! Vice Pres.: Kingsley William interests

AMEEKA ITEMS AMEEKA TECHNICALITIES BOOKS: AMEEKA STATIONERY: £3.20 (letter size), FOR SALE Volume I (1969-1971 ), £5.50 postpaid; £9.75 (note size), including mailing charges. Volume II (1972-1974), £7.50 postpaid, Fine quality stationery with tacky AMEEKA AMEEKA BULLETINS, BOUND ISSUES: Volume III (1975-1977), £8.50 postpaid. borders. Each packet contains 25 letters and 1971,1972,1973 - bound sets at £15.00 each Reprints of incomprehensible technical 35 matching envelopes. Send orders to: set. 1974, 1975, 1976, 1977, 1978 at £18.00 articles which have appeared in the AMEEKA STATIONARY, 4560 Green Bird Drive, Sacre each set. PRICES INCLUDE POSTAGE AND Bulletin, arranged and indexed into Bleue, CA 94800. HANDLING. Stapled and tied. Send orders to inappropriate categories. Send orders to: "They All U1ughecl When I S8t Down At BULLETINS, 4260 Greek Drive, Los Manos, TECHNICALITIES, 73 Reno Strip, Jack The Plano, But When IT Began To Play." CA 90000. Benny, MI 48000. This super-8 movie, full of sound and fury and ROLL LEADERS: PSEUDO-ART, Authentic. produced by AMEEKA members, is available For order sheet, see the April 1993 Bulletin. PLEASE MAKE ALL CHECKS PAYABLE TO for loan to AMEEKA members and chapters. LEADERS, 2326 12th street, Frisco, CA R. BIT TRARY For more information write to FILM, 2411 94100. Theda Bara Drive, Los Manos, CA 94000. AMEEKA INTERNATIONAL.

ABOUT THIS ISSUE FAST ACTION BY TOM BECKETT AVERTS ~OSSIBLE TRAGEDY Greetings fellow AMICAns. You are about to be led into a ALTURAS: Some of the members of the Northern California new reading experience in AMICA News Bulletins with this Chapter of AMEEKA who made last month's special field trip lampoon issue. Having met a good many of you over the years to "remote collections" got a bit more than they anticipated. I feel assured that AMICAns are AMICAble to the point of enjoying a humorous side to the hobby. I am sure that some of the thoughts expressed on these pages have ocurred to many of us. There has been no attempt to direct embarrassment at any regular (or irregular) contributer to THE AMICA but rather to parody our regular news magazine departments. Your publisher takes full responsibility for the decision to compile and produce this issue from material directly solicited from various authors. I trust no one will be offended-if you are, perhaps you are taking this hobby too seriously. You will note that the lampoon comes as a Bonus Supplement to a regular issue so if you don't want this BS issue just throw it away and pretend it never happened. My thanks to the following contributers to this issue: Roger Torkelson Richard Parker Jim Weisenborne Terry Smythe Tom Beckett Mike Schwimmer Doyle Cassel Members rush to aid of technicians overcome by fumes from Carole Beckett leak developed in methane powered reproducer. Molly Yeckley

The feature piano at the meeting was a methane gas powered Ampeeco built especially for this location in the high Sierras, INDEX an area that due to heavy seasonal snowfalls is subject to Cover story: the cover of this issue was created frequent loss of electrical service in the winter. As is the case from various old things found in the files with many of the mechanically-minded in AMEEKA, our local including a naughty post card printed in England technicians could not resist a peek underneath the piano to entitled, "Try this on your piano." view the methane powered gear. Unfortunately, a small leak had developed and gone unnoticed until some of the other INTERNATIONAL AMEEKA 26 members noticed a sudden lack of communication from the AMEEKAn Wins Pedal Award 4 technicians. Our host recognized the symptoms almost ROLLS & MUSIC immediately and the technicians were quickly pulled from Curing the slips 31 underneath the piano. They soon revived once in fresh air Odd Roll Review 31 with no ill after effects and the leak, a loose gas line coupling, F.l.N.A.L. CHAPTER 24 was speedily made right. lOWA AMEEKA 3 The rest of the meeting went without incident and a good BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCHES time was had by all. Fleeta Feinmacher 29 INSTRUMENTS Undoing the Pseudo-Art 27 TECHNICALITIES 1 AMEEKA INTERNATIONAL.

PHILADELPHIA AMEEKAN' TOP PERFORMER IN GRAND PEDALING CONTEST Miss Virtually Unassisted of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania survived three days of exciting competition between 57 entrants for the title of Miss Pedal Expression of 1926. The climax of her performance was a chilling rendition of Ravel's "Bolero." In spite of Miss Unassisted's delicate appearance, she told this reporter that she normally works out for several hours each day with jogging exercises to build up her leg and ankle muscles while squeezing tennis balls to improve her finger control. Miss Unassisted's inclination to the wearing of long dresses is reputed to hide legs that would be the envy of any football player or grand piano.

TINY VORSETZER Rumors of the existance of a tiny vorsetzer (and equally miniscule grand piano) may possibly prove to be a reality as evidenced by'the scaling in the photo shown here. The story has it that the vorsetzer was originally built inside a bottle (as per some sailing ship models) using specially made tools. The piano rolls are said to be accurately scaled and play for about 2.3 seconds, There is some SuspiCIOn cast on the authenticity of the photograph (notice the hand has 6 fingers-curiously enough even numbered so they wouldn't be overlooked) so efforts at verification of this news item will continue.

- 4 - ~OL.LS & MUSIC

THE SANDMAN'S FROLIC OR HOW I CURED MY SLIPPING ROLLS BY EDIE OTT We've all had our troubles with the long­ playing recut rolls. They slip when crossing the tracker bar and cause annoying pauses in the music. This is particularly evident in some of the rolls that are played rather heavy-handedly by the male artists. These men-o-pauses are especially embarrassing when you're showing off your piano to someone who's never heard a reproducer-a non­ believer. There have been many suggestions in the Bulletin, some of them quite zany, I'll admit, but none so practical and foolproof as mine. Now to get to the core of the matter. Buy the following: five sheets. of medium grade emory cloth (use the kind made by Carborundum - the most sturdy and pliable. Prices range from 49¢ to 55¢.) Tape the five sheets end to end to form a piano roll. Use a sturdy tape like mystic or furnace tape. Obviously, you tape the emory cloth on the non-abrasive side! And don't, like Emse Dawson of Wichita, staple the sheets together. This will cause notes to play because of the air leaks, and after all it wouldn't look authentic. Next, take an empty roll spool, one that you have left from an old torn roll or a new one purchased from a vendor such as QRS or Player Piano Company. Tape the abrasive side of the emory roll to the cardboard core, winding the cloth around the spool, forming a roll. Taper the remaining end of the roll with a ROLL REVIEW scissors and affix a tab. Place the emory BY FUDD E. DUDDY roll in the spoolbox; set the tempo indicator at 40 and run the roll back and Heretofore, THE AMEEKA has published only reviews of forth over the tracker bar several times. common, ordinary rolls-Ampeeco, Pseudo-Art, Belte, 88­ In no time you'll notice plenty of drag on note, rolls for instruments that everybody has. What of those the waxy paper, the problem of slippage of us with extensive collections of the more esoteric roll­ will be lic1

- 31 - ROLLS & MUSIC

The roll is PianoLodeon #P-7 produced by the now-defunct J. Awhile" - sort of grows on you. 3. "That's Why I Love Chien & Co. of Burlington, New Jersey. I found this particular You" - too dirty, can't repeat. 4. "KaTINKa" - a little too performance a delight although the rolling bass set off some much mandolin. 5. "If You Miss Me As I Miss You" - not rather annoying vibrations in the plastic frontboard of my very accurate 6. "Could I? I Certainly Could" - see Tl PianoLodeon '. Unfortunately, the words on the roll are a bit comment on number 3. 7. "Do You Believe In Dreams?" ­ racist in character while describing a somewhat deformed, a fantasy on acquiring the Nethercutt collection. 8. "Hello, though good-looking black lady. Two left feet may be oh, so Aloha, How Are You?" - question man asks a Hula-Hula girl neat, but they certainly must hamper the proper use of the in hopes that she'll give him a lei. 9. "Why Don't You Marry sustaining pedal when the poor girl sits down to play. The The Girl?" -the flowers on the lei wilted. 10. "Hi! Ho! The tune is quite catchy, however. As it unrolled, I began to Merrio!" -misprint. It should have read, "Hi! Ho! The Merry whistle and five little boys outside my window began playing Eye!", a tune about a lecherous Santa Claus. On the whole, I basketball! recommend you try this on your nickelodeon. DELORES VALSE, Op. 170 - by Waldteufel (Henrich or IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER (I'd Live It Over A Otto or Hugo or somesuch Teutonic cognomen). This roll is Delicatessen) - a nostalgic reminiscence with words by Bagel Cecilian #5197 manufactured by the Farrand Organ Company N. Lokse and music by Shood B. Lean. Roll is Hartberne 182­ of Detroit, Michigan in a rather weird size. Though the roll is Much manufactured by Grepwasser & Sons, Brooklyn, New punched to the convential 65-note scale, the paper width is York for the Seeburp Mortuary Organ. This lively tune, highly 13~4 inches! No doubt some high muckety-muck on the recommended for the funeral of any AMEEKAn, tells the Farrand Board of Directors specified this size in the mistaken story of Irving, a caraway-seeds-in-his-cole-slaw addict, who notion that "bigger is better." Well, I've got news for him and is evicted from his bed-sitter above the 6th avenue Deli by his his fellow corporation-types who are trying to cram their heartless landlord, a German potato salad freak. Cast out into revolutionary ideas down the throats of the American public: the cruel world, Irving takes up residence as a toenail clipper It won't work! Why didn't you test-market your idea first in to the daughter of a fashionable Long Island suit and cloak Peoria? In this day and age of convenience foods and labor manufacturer. Although he is given his own suite of rooms saving devices, the thought of having to hacksaw 2 inches off with access to the pool, sauna and refrigerator, Irving is every Farrand-Cecilian roll to get it to play on your push-up heartsick-for the entire family is allergic to cabbage and Pianola is patently ridiculous! Well enough of my view on subsists totally on Kraft dinners and white bread with plenty Corporate America-they'll learn. This is supposed to be a roll of mayo. Irving longs for the sights, smells and gut-rumblings review: so be it. Even taking into consideration a few missing of his beloved tenement-and that's just the verse! In the notes in the treble, a drearier piece of claptrap it has never chorus, well, I shouldn't give it all away, should I? This roll is before been my misfortune to hear. "Delores" means "sad" in a must for you Mortuary Organ owners and if enough demand Spanish and it certainly is, Stanley. Not only do I not is generated, I'm sure Bill Flynt will code it for the Ampico recommend the purchse of this roll, but I strongly suggest that and Duo-Art. all of you write to the Farrand people in Detroit and tell them you are boycotting all their future issues until they put out a FAVORITE FAMILY HYMNS - a selection of sedate Sunday better sounding and more conventional product. songs. Gavioli Cardboard Music Book No. 8865. As I hand cranked this through my Thibouville-Lamy Pianista (doesn't VARIOUS TUNES FROM CAPITOL 2013 - a lO-tune roll everybody have one?), I was profoundly touched by the for orchestrions of the "A" persuasion. Space does not permit moving simplicity of this primitive, yet thoroughly satisfying the normal-size review of each tune and so I shall try and give piece of music. Vowing to play it again shortly, I set it aside and took up a good book, The Care and Feeding of Key Capitol Roll & Record Co. Pneumatics, by Elmer Gloo. Absorbed in my reading, I failed to notice that my son, state champion in the 50-yard dash, had 721 N. Kedzie Ave., Chicago, Ill. run through the parlor, knocked the Gavioli book music to the floor, and trod upon its entire length in his track shoes! PROGRAM Snapping out of my reverie, I bounded from my chair, determined to corral the careless young whelp, but he had I. A Little Bit Bad-Fox Trot already whizzed out the door heading for track practice. What 2. After Awhile-WaItz 3. That's Why I Love You-!'~ox Trot to do? Slowly I picked up the tattered cardboard to assess the 4. Katinka-Fox Trot damage. I placed it lovingly on the Pianists and absently 5. If You Miss Me As I MIss You-Waltz 6. Could I? I Certainly Could-Fox Trot turned the crank. To my amazement, "Nearer My God To 7. Do You Believ€ In Dreams-Fox Trot b. Hello Aloha! Eow Are You?-Fox Trot Thee" had acquired a snap and bounce that it never had 9. Why Don't You Marry the Girl-Fox Trot 10. Hi! Ho; The Merria-Fox Trot. before! "Come To the Church in the Wildwood" beckoned with a boogie beat! "Rock of Ages" became today's rock as a decidedly disco dance! If those of you with cardboard book music will mail me your selections, 111 have Junior run over 2013 them for you at just $1.00 per yard. Spice up your Pianista'a you the overall flavor of the roll with a few pithy comments playing NOW at these low, low prices! on each number: 1. "A Little Bit Bad" - exactly. 2. "After - 16 - F.I.N.A.L. CHAPTER ,..

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The finish on the Klutzmeier is 43 coats of hand-rubbed AMICA'S F.I.N.A.L. CHAPTER liquor-no, not lacquer, liquor. It was found that the BY WILHELMINA WELTE evaporation of the alcohol content of 100 proof liquor would make the grain rise to the surface, and as this duplicated the I have always wondered why, with the mobility of most original finish, it is far superior to any method of refinishing I AMICAns, no one has thought to form a moveable feast sort have ever seen. The phrase "wood-grain alcohol" derived of chapter, and sure enough some jet-setters finally did! This from this process created by the factory in Klutzemeirsburg, alliance of allegiance comes through Florida, Illinois, Kansas. The factory later converted to making whisky barrels Nebraska, Alabama and Louisana because each of these states from their Art-o-Matic wood stock, changing the lettering to has AMICAns in business who travel from one state to another "aromatic" by just not stenciling the "t" into the barrels, and it on business-and pleasure-and who saw the need to meet is from this that we get "aromatic whiskey." when and where they could because there were no official chapters in their areas. I happened to be in flight with a The very special paper used in the rolls for the instrument was delightful couple named Gerry and Sali (20th century spelling, made from Egyptian papyrus-the real thing! It was found I suppose) and as I sat reading my AMICA Bulletin, they that the preservation of these scrolls (the "sc" was later introduced. themselves as fellow members of the group-I dropped and they became known as just 'rolls) was insured by suppose fellow travelers is too strong a statement?-and they using the method invented during the plebescite period, just invited me to join them at their home for a F:I.N.A.L. Chapter before the Pharoahs began building the pyramids. Paper meeting. made during this era didn't tear, warp, woof, or shred, as preserved examples have shown. It has proven remarkably Their elegant elephantine estate is a home only to them! It is durable throughout the life of the instrument as no rolls have 'Tve-Died-And-Gone-To-Heaven" for the rest of us! It is ever needed tape, repair, or replacement. The entire library named "Mander-Laye" or "Mander-Lea" (I am not sure of the for the instrument, all 21,000 rolls, is stored in the Mander's spelling as we whizzed past the stone portals after their man roll library which takes up the entire third floor of the two­ opened the iron gates so quickly that I barely had time to story manse. focus through the trees at what I thought would be a glimpse of the main house but proved to be only the caretaker's cottage, all three stories of it). As we continued on the road to is / Mander-Laye I talked with the Manders-for that their surname, you may have surmised-and found that in addition to their fly-by-night chapter, each Mander is a collector of their own speciality; jointly they own the only prize of their collection, the very rare Klutzmeier Art-o-Matic. Gerry owns a 9 foot Hason & Mamlin Ampeeco "B" in a custom Chinoiserie case. Sent to China in 1937 and returned to this country by way of Taipei after W.W. II, it has a most interesting story, more of which later. Sali's P. & J. (that's pride and joy, not pajamas, Bill) is a 9-foot Meinway Pseudo-Art with the special art case carved from the ruins of a Balinese temple as overlay. The Meinway logo was inset in moonstones, the word Pseudo-Art in opals. More on this one later. F.I.N.A.L. Chapter members watch in fascination as the The Klutzmeier Art-o-Matic was an instrument built in the Manders demonstrate the ability of the Klutzmeier Art-o­ early tweens but that is what makes it so special; most of the Matic to light every lamp in the house with its crashing power. instruments built later were considered inferior, even though their cost in the 1920s was over $17,000 and each was built only to order. I have always wanted to hear one but never Just incidentally, all of the felts used throughout the thought I'd be lucky enough to .... it is the only instrument of Klutzmeier Art-o-Matic are made from Australian lambswool its era known to have been saved and it puts everything else for its lanolin content. It was found that this made any other I've heard in any collection to shame. form of lubrication unnecessary, so none of the felts have ever This instrument can sing like a canary, bellow like a bull, roar needed replacing. like a lion, purr like a kitten, howl like a hound, and every In my excitement over the discovery of a living, breathing menagerial sound in between. I have never heard anything so Klutzmeier I almost neglected to fill you in on the details of stunning! It has the power to light every lamp in the house or the home and the menu! Last night I dreamt I went to it can make you strain to hear it breathe! In comparison, the Mander-Lea again, and I plan to go again and again, even if San Andreas fault is a crack in the sidewalk! only in my dreams ... the drive through the enchanted forest / to the four-story portico; the entrance hall with the trumpeters ,t.. . F.I.N.A.L. CHAPTER . r---' announcing each of us with an extraordinary "toot"-well, men too, can't you? I mean, the trouble these AMICAns go to Philadelphia is going to have to come up with Some to see that Their Meeting is different, weill The housekeeper's Extravaganza to beat this ordinary chapter meeting! The name was Blanche Snow, I was told. manse seemed to be constructed of native stone outside, but I almost forgot to say that the collection also included a Welte­ inside rivals San Simeon-each ceiling was brought from a Welte. This was the company begun by my great grandfather, castle either in Ireland, England or Scotland; hang the you may recall, and although I dearly love the instrument, it expense, as it were. I half suspect, but cannot prove, that some had the usual sorry collection of rolls with it, so we didn't of the world's "missing masterpieces" have been pirated to bother to play any. If only the great Ampeeco artists everyone this well-guarded setting as I saw a few signatures on the knows and loves (Adam Carroll, Frank Milne, et. al.) had paintings that mean much in the art world! I do feel that recorded for the Welte, I'm sure we'd all find and restore Picasso should not hang next to Rembrandt, but that is just a these instruments, but the proliferation of artists from Europe private opinion, not an expert one. And Vincent Van Gogh that none of us has ever heard of-names like Grieg, Debussy, next to Joshua Reynolds is tacky, too; so there! et. aI., makes the instrument not worth the bother. I could see an organ chamber and what looked like about 70 I think we've all heard enough Meinways and Hason & ranks scattered around the balcony, but such was my Mamlins to last us all a lifetime, so I won't go into any details excitement at the K.A.-o-Matic that I completely forgot to except to say that it's a shame we can't play the "case" (you look for the console-I think someone mentioned Moller but know, the wooden gut-holder) as these instruments looked so that is awfully common in that area of the country as it is also super but they play just like all the rest of them. You know­ in Michigan. "close, but no cigar ...n About half of Tiffany & Company's output has found its way Anyway, my thanks to Gerry and Sali Mander for allowing me to the home of Gerry and SaW Not to mention Persia's rug the privilege of seeing and hearing the fabulous Klutzmeier output and the 16th through the 19th centuries furniture Art-o-Matic. It seems a shame that none of you will ever get to output! I was merely put out. Why should some people have it hear it, but I understand that there was some problem with ALL? the government-which one, I don't know-and that the The menu was about what you'd expect at an always-hungry­ house and its collection has been seized and impounded until AMICAn gathering: much' booze-wine, whisky, cordials, the year 2000 at which time it will be turned over to the etc., and a seven course buffet, if you can figure that one out. American Museum and Instrument Collection of America We went around the table seven times and each time the food (AMICA) which although it has the same acronym as our club, had been changed. With all their attention to detail, you can can surely be no part of it as our group will surely have its imagine that the food was placed on the tables by seven little own museum going "full tilt" in California before then!

.~,... IOWA AMEEKA

IOWA AMEEKA "NOT ENOUGH CHIEF AND TOO MANY INDIANS" The long awaited biweekly meeting of the Iowa Chapter of AMEEKA retu~ned again recently to the founding city of Oskaloosa. Due to the number of members attending and in preparation for the annual 'Toughest Winter" contest with the Midwest Chapter, this meeting was held in the backyard Gazebo of host and long time member, C. F. Mahaska. "Chief," as he is called by his fellow AMeriCAns, was unable to be in attendance himself until late in the afternoon, having been out shooting a few turkeys in aoaftempt to satisfy the appetites of the members. (f\s. mstruments become more scarce and groceries more expensive at home, these "snacks" are becoming a larger part of the program each month. In The Gazebo and some of those ilttending. to. . IOWA AMEEKA .~

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fact, Mother Hubbard's Tips on Weightwatching has become In all, it was a fun time-and a fitting tribute to the place a regular part of the business meeting.) Happily, we were able where the Iowa Chapter got its start. to get old "Chief" inside and thawed out by the cook stove before the program ended. Members came from all over this and surrounding states. The entire population of the cities of Guernsey, What Cheer, and even Farmersburg turned out for the event (private joke for Iowa residents only!). Ole Ronson from Minnestoa, not used to driving such short distances, overshot town and ended up in Truax becoming the first visitor to that area in 30 years. It wasn't a total loss however as he managed to buy a couple of roller organ cobs that only needed repinning.

The highlighted instrument of the day.

BIOG~APHICAL SKETCHES

FLEETA FEINMACHER ARTISTE EXTRAORDINAIRE The host brings homes the snacks. BY MS. B. Z. BODY Fleeta Feinmacher (1909-?) was born in Oshkosh Most of the afternoon was spent assembling and regulating the (b'gosh) Wisconsin, the third of five sisters. There was large and ornate Ampeeco keyboardJess cabinet piano with no history of musical talent in her family and as a small Ampeechron shown in the photograph. It would have been child she exhib,ited no particular predilection for the great to have been able to listen to it, but no one knew where piano-or any other musical instrument, for that matter. to put the roll. We did manage to get a few notes out of it It was Fate, in the guise of the death of her great Aunt every hour or so, however. "Chief" has promised next time to Bessie, that brought Fleeta and the world of music have on hand a large group of recut rolls from Mike the together. Swimmer's roll auction so we can really appreciate it. At that time he intends to put the instrument up for auction-so be When Great Aunt Bessie's possessions were divided among her there! Reason for selling .... like the man who built the yacht surviving relations, the Feinmachers found themselves the in his basement, there just isn't a door big enough to get this owners of a very large and very heavy upright player piano thing inside. Let's hope it doesn't rain. and 1,500 rolls. (Everyone else professed to have no room for it.) Fleeta's mother, miffed that she hadn't gotten Bessie's Live entertainment for the day was supplied by a group who four-poster French walnut bedstead and matching wardrobe, called themselves the Second PianoLodeon Quintet. Failing to was determined to show those "vultures" who really got the receive the expected standing ovation after the first number, choice piece of the lot. She decided that one of her girls they felt it only deserving to render more efforts to their would take lessons and would ultimately become a world J captive audience (the turkey and trimmings hadn't been famous pianist. When it was learned that Fleeta was the only served yet). Unfortunately, their music should have been daughter who was not tone deaf she, of course, became the rendered some time ago. candidate for that glittering future. - 29- BIOG~APHICAL SKETCHES

It was an uphill struggle for Mrs. Feinmacher, though. Fleeta "Emperor Concerto." (Fleeta finished while the orchestra was was just 13 and the Twenties were roaring. She simply would still playing the opening bars of the first movement.) From not practice! Not, that is, until she invented 'a game that made that time on she was in constant demand on the global concert what had seemed a deadly chore a pure delight. circuit. Fleeta called her game "Outplaying the Player." The object The critics raved. Such accuracy! Such nuance of expression! was to listen to a piano roll and then play the same piece by Such agility! They called her magnificent, incomparable, hand, note-for-note, only faster. Of course, in the beginning wunderkind. (And some called her atrocious, an aberration, she had to cheat a bit by setting the tempos very slow. But she and a threat to c1assicaItechnique.) She was the delight of all learned quickly and in only a year she had progressed to the reluctant concert goers who must accompany a more correct tempo settings on nearly every roll they had inherited. appreciative music lover, because her performances never Even more rolls were purchased and Fleeta concentrated on lasted more than 15 minutes, including one intermission and learning them all-a repetoire that was to become the envy of two encores. every concert pianist. Every phonograph company and the three major But Fleeta was not content just to increase her repetoire-even manufacturers of reproducing pianos vied for rights to Fleeta greater speed and accuracy had become her goal. She Feinmacher recordings. She had absolutely no time for the practiced incessantly and the tempo indicator crept up and up "tinny sounding phonograph" but she was interested in those until it reached its limit. Fleeta, however, had not yet reached "fabulous pianos." She refused any exclusive contract, hers. however, preferring to record for all three companies so the During the summer of 1925 a passer-by heard Fleeta's 10­ greatest number of people could enjoy her playing. Shortly second rendition of the "jvlinute Waltz" through the open before her career came to its tragic and unexpected window and her talents burst upon an astounded world. She conclusion she held recording sessions with all of them. But made her concert debut that fall, at the age of 16, with the the results were somewhat disappointing. Although all the Oshkosh (b'gosh) Symphony Orchestra playing Beethoven's systems were able to record her playing quite accurately, none of the pianos were able to play the resulting rolls. The rolls were all less than two feet long and essentially looked like nothing more than a series of parallel chain perforations. They reduced the existing reproducers to heaps of quivering pneumatics. Ampeeco and Psuedo-Art immediately entered into a cut-throat competition to develop and market a piano capable of duplicating her remarkable musical feats. But before such a piano reached the music stores, Fleeta's flying fingers were silenced forever. It happened during a brief visit home between concert tours in Mongolia and Poland. She was playing her 12-minute rendition of the complete works for solo piano by Rachmaninoff on her beloved old piano at a family gathering, when someone accidently (or perhaps not-her mother insisted it was the deliberate act of a jealous cousin) engaged the keylock. Poor Fleeta was rushed to the hospital with compound fractures of all ten fingers. Complications resulted and a stunned public heard the news that Fleeta Feinmacher would never play again. She retreated completely from society and it was reported that the very . sound of a piano sent her into deep depression. Her mother sold the old player piano (using the money to at last acquire the coveted bedstead and wardrobe). Fleeta's seclusion was so complete that today we have no record of her life or possible death after that tragic accident. What a loss to the world of music that the new "super" reproducing pianos had not yet been perfected so we can never hear those few trial rolls that are all that survives of the meteoric career of ·this brilliant pianist! When the Ampeeco factory was sold, the experimental Model C was discovered in a back storeroom, a curiosity that no one could explain. It was sl,1bsequently scrapped and with it went our last chance to experience the playing of Fleeta Feinmacher, a talent the likes "­ of which the world is not likely to see again. - 5 - INSTRUMENTS

But by the time Chopin got to "Opus 10, No. 12," he was able UNDOING THE PSEUDO-ART to make the piano sing three words. (footnote #7)

BY GREGOR NOSLEKROT Allegro can fnoco '•. F, Chopin, Op. 10, No. 12 PART 473: MAKING IT SING! What bugs me to boils about the Pseudo-Art reproducing system is its wretched, disgusting inability to make the piano SING. As we all know, pianists of the Golden Age of Pianism (c. 1818-1928) got lauded and fawned over for their ability to make the instrument sing. (see footnote #1) They also made a And by the time Chopin got to one of his latest works, the few bucks at it. Latter-day critics, who never heard those "Nocturne in F minor, Opus 55, No.1," the phrases poured keyboard immortals in the flesh, have assumed that the term fourth from his beloved instrument: referred only metaphorically to matters of timbre and "",----~------,------,------phrasing. (footnote #2) not so! Pyrochinsky, Alotoff, .. ~~.,~ ~ .. " ~ .. ~ Hoffperson and even lesser lights like Lautenbanger were - -- actually able to make the piano utter words! (footnote #3) But I '.', - . ~:!~, _.""".. , I:! can the Pseudo-Art sing? Can it really express the full emotion malta legato e stretto i those immortals poured into their playing? You bet your sweet bippy it can't. Not long after I acquired my Pseudo-Art I • P..d • determined to restore its lost vocal chords. But before I tell you how I did it, let me tell you why. For some curious reason, Chopin continued the Scarlatti tradition of causing the instrument to speak only Italian. WHY. AN HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE. Perhaps it was out of deference to that master; perhaps he just Music began as a vocal art. (see footnote #4) And when thought it sounded better. At any rate, the phrase in "Opus 55, musical instruments were invented it was soon obvious that a No.1" is puzzling. Translated from the Italian, it sings: "The lot had been lost: the ability to vocalize words. But we were Leghorns are moulting in the street." Had he forgotten about stuck with them; especially the keyboard instruments Allegro? Was there a tiff between them? Was he expressing (footnote #5) But as keyboard techniques improved, the his sorrow in music? (footnote #8) greatest virtuosos discovered that by touch alone they could LISZT, THE LINGUIST get the instrument to speak at least one simple word. The manuscript of Domenico Scarlatti's "Sonata XLI (K. 420)" The story is well known of how Franz Liszt, upon first hearing reveals that this master had taught the harpsichord to sing the the young Chopin play, fled from the concert room and word "Allo" (Italian for "hello") at the beginning of the piece. retired from public performance for almost two years. It has What a charming way to greet one's listeners! always been assumed that he went home to practice his double octaves. It is now known that he enrolled in a crash course at Berlitz and when he returned in triumph to the stage he had learned to make his piano sing in three languages simultaneously! What a breakthrough! Shattered was the tradition of causing a piano to sing only in Italian. As this excerpt from "Evening Star" illustrates: sempre lento, rna un poco Yet not until the pianoforte was invented did keyboard artists have an instrument that was capable of singing entire phrases. RO"":'iZE ~I ~ Even so, Chopin's earlist works reveal that even this master (so,.) ( could manage only a single word at the beginning of "Opus I~ 10, No.1": Douze grandes Etudes J AU~::f#rt4':'::,,'~~1 (~~.~~~~~ .,~~ ... .;------Unlike Scarlatti's cheerful "hello," Chopin's piano softly breathed the name of his lover, Allegro, to whom the piece is And in his "Mephisto Waltz," even though he limited the ./ dedicated. (footnote #6) It is characteristic of Chopin's more singing to the Italian language, he introduced sly humor to the intimate approach to music that this be so. Scarlatti was concert hall: outgoing; Chopin reclusive. Profondement calme (Dans une brume doucement sonore) Un poco mellO (rna poco.) (La misura elasticameme) .-_.~~ .'~ ------:--. 'l\;: ~~.:::- u:'" .a:~- l~:~;;:?1~ Lp-pe-;=-.=: ",... ~---..' . jJP ~.-..., :" ... (J]:}:~~:~~?~~jE~~~~~:~~~~:-~t'~~~

Naturally, Debussy played the piano in French. The work • Ifw·. opens with a soft chord played in "plein air" well beyond the The phrase is freely translated: "Who pokes men? Your limits of the piano keyboard, and the half-heard phrase mother pokes. It's because of her miserable girdle." Not a "Profondment calme." (I prefer calamity.) Subtle Debussy thigh-slapper perhaps, but it does illustrate the man's good knew well enough to begin his diatribe softly, but with a humor. (footnote #9) punch to itl A melody in inverted octaves rises to the quiet phrase "Dans une brume doucement sonore." (The Danes will Now .. .I can tolerate a piano's inability to sing "Da Capo Al be swept away because they have been induced to sleep Fine" (AI has a swell cap) or "Ma non troppo" (Watch your loudly.) Can you imagine the murmer of unrest that spr~d step, mother). I can live without Chopin's mumering to his through the hall when the piece had its first performance ~n lover or Liszt's clumsy attempts at concert-room humor. But Copenhagen in 1911? (footnote #11) A few tiaras trembled, I II consider something more serious: this phrase from Liszt's bet you that! "Hungarian Rhapsody No.9": But waitl there is morel At the top of page two, the piano sings out boldly 'Peu a Peu sortant de la brumel" (The poorest ')1'\' ~~:~3W: ~;.J ;~;;t'i:~~~·::-~';~l of the poor will sort out the sweepers.) (footnote #12) AND ;.. by the time we get to the bottom of page three, the piano L\f a;~'~,gro;,. ;, k;j~ i.,;c;. i thunders: "Un peu moins lent!" (Oh pooh on man's religious festivals!) Then as quickly whispers in return, almost as an ·· .. ··'1··'... . . aside: "Dans un expression alJant grandissant." (The Danes are drinking strong coffee with their grandmothers.) (footnote The phrase is translated as "Sweets may safely graze," dearly #13) an attempt at homage to Bach whom Liszt was known to What a magnificent statement of a brave man's beliefs, revere. It is unfortunate that Liszt got the translation wrong, regardless of how you agree with them, or .vic~ versa. B~t but good intentions count for a lot in my book. But can the does the Pseudo-Art give you even an mklmg of thIS Pseudo-Art play it? No! On the Pseudo-Art, the phrase sounds dimension to Debussy's music? It does not! I determined to do like this: something about it. But what? \ DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. WHAT. Unfortunately, the art of making a piano "sing" is a lost art with the possbile exception of Glenn Gould. (footnote #14) And those stupid Pseudo-Art engineers, who at least had access to people who did know the technique, did not bother to preserve the nuances of touch that create the effect. I had What a travesty! By the omssion of a few simple words, the to do the best I could with the inadequate materials at hand. entire depth of meaning of the work has been lost! It is Fortunately, I have access to electronic technology, and vice­ enough to make you want to tum your piano into a cat litter versa. And sometimes luck enters into the picture, as later box. (footnote #10) But what really steamed my strudel was developments will illustrate. the violence of this sin of omission committed to Debussy's "La Cathederale Engloutie." (The elongated cathedral.) (Pseudo-Art roll No. 34~ played by Myma Mess.) THE SEMI-ELONGATED CATHEDRAL This magnificent masterpiece is more than mere music; it is mainly a mordent monograph of mighty mein meant to move the murmering masses to more meaningful means of mashing the malevolent might of the miserable monarchy. Yet it precedes the appearance of Lenin by at least a year and a half! How are we to know, unless the piece is performed properly, of what Debussy truly meant the work to mean? The title itself gives you a clue. The status quo, as symbolized by the cathedral, have been in power far too long. The subtitle clinches it: "Extrait du Premiere Livre de Preludes / Pour Ie Piano." (Rip out the Premier's liver! He is lewd! Poor little Piano!) But a glance at the opening page, and the words Debussy intended to piano to sing out loud leaves no room for The LOUDSPEAKER may be mounted above or below the ambiguity. Indeed, there is not a trace of ambiguity anywhere soundboard depending on the space available. In either case, in this masterpieceI be sure to cut the proper size hole in the soundboard to insure proper functioning and superior tone of the loudspeaker.

.. 19 .. I decided to sing the words myself, record them on magnetic would like you to meet tube C." And so on. These valves are tape, and synchronize them with the music. By placing the normally at rest, being supplied with vacuum through the loudspeaker within the piano itself, the effect would fool even bleeds in the piano action itself. When a hole in the music roll the dullest fool. (footnote #15) But where to mount the uncovers either the C or the C# aperture (but not both), the speaker? counter-compensating ball-check valves C and D prevent / Fortunately, my Pseudo-Art has a lot of soundboard that just either valve from getting fired. The signal therefore passes to sits there unused. I cut a large hole in it and mounted the the piano action as it is normally supposed to, causing the note speaker there. (footnote #16) to sound. The tape recorder can be any machine that is equipped with However, when the large hole you have poked in the music an electrically-controlled "pause" mechanism. So much for roll uncovers both apertures simultaneously, all hell breaks that part of the project. But the tape has to be synchronized. loose! Both valves A and B fire via bleeds E and F, ball-check How, oh how? valves C and D having been reduced to a state of blithering indesision. Bleeds G and H, which are otherwise adequate, SYNCHRONIZING THE TAPE suffer severe overload and the tension on pouches I and J is As even the dullest Pseudo-Art owners must surely know modified accordingly. (footnote #17), the top 44 notes of the keyboard have been Pouches I and J and the float valve between them together usurped for control functions, leaving the piano a trifle bass­ form a cross-fired maybe/maybe gate that serves as an heavy. Indeed, some Pseudo-Art owners (footnote #18) are intentional disparity discrimination detector. Being self­ blissfully unaware that the "Melody in F" comes equipped compensating, and having very little else to do, they are with a melody. (footnote #19) capable of making the subtle distinction between nothing Now, if any of you Ambiguo or Wilted-Chignon owners are happening simultaneously (blank paper over both holes) and beginning to feel smug at this point, I say you had better start everything happening simultaneously (both holes uncovered playing Viva towels on your stupid instruments, they leak so to the atmosphere). What they say, goes. much. Ha ha hal If the appropriate lack of disparity exists, pouch valve L As I was saying, before the thoughts of those hoity-toity knows about it immediately. It does its thing, which no one Ambiguo owners made me so mad, there are precious few understands fully, and allows atmosphere from valve P (which holes left in the tracker bar to appropriate for a synchronizing is normally under great tension due to the well-publicized control function. Yet somehow, it has to be done. Ever alert, I inaction of multiple valve M) to overcome the vacuum noticed that only very rarely are middle C and the C# just flowing smoothly through bleed 0, and, by lifting ball-check above it ever played simultaneously, and even then, never at valve N, fire multiple valve M which has been asking for it all the same time. By somehow opening both holes to the along, having been so inactive., atmosphere at the same time, a control signal could be All clear so far? extracted, fed to the controls on the tape machine, and the / words would sing out at the appropriate moment. Before it dawns on valve P that terrible things have been taking place behind its back (so to speak), and that valve M I rummaged around in my spare parts box for a few minutes has finally been fired, pouch R has had time to collapse and came up with this simple pneumatic logic system: against its pre-loading spring. This is because bleed Q has been quietly going about its nefarious business. We will hear more from that sneaky bleed Q later. The collapse of pouch R, though not serious in itself, has allowed the electric contacts above it to close, thereby TECHNICALITIES defeating the "pause" function on'''your tape recorder. The tape starts moving and plays whatever you have recorded on it through the loudspeaker in the piano, giving the instrument the desired "singing tone" effect. You may be happy with the effect, but valve P is furious over having been duped. It finally snaps shut in a state of high indignation. Since it is at a crucial point in the circuit, it applies vacuum to absolutely every part of the circuit in a childish attempt (some say) to have its own way. Bleed Q, which earlier had conspired against valve P, now aids it, thereby insinuating itself back into valve p's good graces. Valve P, like so many of its type, never learns that there are some bleeds you simply can't trust. However, the audio signal now coming from the tape player activates solenoid S, which opens a magnetic valve, admitting atmosphere to valve M, despite valve P's frantic efforts to flood the entire place with vacuum. Bleed 0, which valve P THE SELF-RESETTING COINCIDENT DISPARITY had earlier trusted, is only too happy to help. DETECTOR For all its complexity, valve M is by far the most stupid valve Transfer valves A and B are introduced into the tubing that in the entire assembly, and, ignorant of all that is going on, " leads from tracker bar ports representing middle C and the remains fired as long as there is an audio signal coming from C# just above it. This is accomplished by saying: "Valve A, I the tape player. Bleed T which is also not very bright, would -I- like to help but since it is very small, and in the wrong place, it coming from the piano is simply someone trying to get a word serves absolutely no function whatever. in edgewise and it only makes them talk louder. I am so mad I could spit! The whole venture was a miserable failure, but When the sung passage you have recorded on the tape ends, well worth the effort. solenoid S, deprived of current, allows the valve beneath it to close again. This finally allows valve P to succeed in closing valve M; something it has been wanting to do for some time now. Pouch R is immediately restored to good health, opens the contacts above it, and the "pause" mode resumes on the tape player, causing the tape to stop. The system is therefore automatically reset until the next hole you have jabbed in the music roll starts the whole shebang going again. "What about sub-assembly U?", I hear you ask. And I'm glad you did. As any fool can plainly see, sub-assembly U is a standard balanced-ball counter-compensating pressure regulator with motional feedback. A set screw bleed allows you to adjust the effect of bleed V on the sub-assembly, therefore allowing you to determine just how far things should go. Someone has to. The circuit may appear to contain redundancies, such as the presence of both ball-checks C and D and the discriminator I­ I. If you fully understood the genuine needs of pouch-valve L, you would think quite differently about it, I'm sure. It needs INCORRECT: A banana thrust through the music roll makes all the help it can get. a hole that is far too large. Use a pencil. I made this circuit out of a piece of beaver board and plastic food wrap. Any stiff piece of cardboard will serve. FOOTNOTES 1. Formerly, they achieved fame for their ability to make the instrument collapse. Handel, oddly, was very good at this. And rich. 2. John Cage is a notable exception in this regard, and you know what he does to pianos. It is very difficult to be objective these days. 3. Gracie Porringer it is claimed, could make the piano utter droll witticisims such as "your father's moustache" and "a fat duchess breaks no wind," but none of these have been preserved on piano rolls. 4. The Latin term for it is "Ars Lunga." It is that old! 5. See Schumann's "Klavierstuke" for a contemporary comment on the problem. 6. This has deeply troubled scholars who feel that it should be spelled "Allegra." "Allegro" is the masculine form of the name. George Sand has nothing to say of this in an)' of her writings, and perhaps we should be silent on the subject as well. 7. You translate this one yourself! I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot Hungarian! 8. Nocturnes have a tendency. to be wistful under the best of circumstances and Chopin may simply have been carried away by the mood. Heaven knows, it has happened to many of us. 9. Ladies in Liszt's audiences fainted because their girdles were too tight, not because of anything he did to them. This may have been Liszt's private little joke with the ladies. Then again, maybe not. CORRECT: A pencil iammed through the music roll makes 10. The next article in this series will be on the subject of how to turn the right size hole to activate the mechanism. your piano into a cat litter box. Watch for it. 11. It is unclear why Debussy picked the Danes as the recipients of his WHAT THE PIANO SINGS musical barbs. They always seem to be the butt of musical insults as in "Danse Macabre" hy that other Frenchman, Saint-Saens. If you don't have the sheet music and/or can't sing in Italian 12. Debussy is confused here as he surely intended the piano to say"... or French, despair not. Put a roll on your Pseudo-Art. Put the will sort out the sleepers." It's the same kind of mistake Liszt made and we shouldn't judge him too harshly. tape recorder in the "record" mode and start the piano roll. 13. Debussy, who had never been to Denmark, idly assumed that all Let the music move you and when you can't hold back a strong coffee was espresso coffee. That's what comes of getting a minute longer, jab a sharp pencil through the music roll in classical education with insufficient attention to practical matters. such a location that the resulting hole will uncover middle C 14. Hark unto any of his recordings and you'll hear what I mean. Re­ and C# at the same time. Then sing, shout, whisper or croon viewers assume that it is Mr. Gould singing. That's all they know about it! whatever it is you feel is appropriate into the microphone. 15. Joe Dumbe, of East Landfill, Michigan. 16. If you do not have a saw, pound smartly with a large hammer until Repeat until the roll has ended. Rewind the roll and the tape you have created a hole of requisite size. But do it neatly or the speaker and you're in bsuiness. might fall straight through. photos 17. Joe and Mary Dumbe, of East Landfill, Michigan. 18. Toe and Mary Dumbe and their son Horace, of East Landfill, WAS IT WORTH IT? Michigan. 19. A lovely melody in the key of C# minor. No. Unfortunately, most of my friends are not interested in 20. There is no twentieth footnote. Gotcha! music or in politics, and tend to start talking the minute I put a roll on my Pseudo-Art. They seem to think that the voice - 28 - I

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