SHALOM BAYIT ENDING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN JEWISH HOMES

Summer 2015 ~ Elul 5775

Support Groups ALL TOGETHER NOW: Why it’s on RABBIS’ CORNER: BEYOND SILENCE ALL of us to stop domestic violence Rabbi Nat Ezray Are you being hurt by someone you love? Naomi Tucker, Executive Director Sometimes pain and trauma catalyze change.

Get support from your peers in Communal responsibility: It’s an idea that While I do not know the pain of having a confidential space. Groups makes sense. Most of us can agree that we all experienced abuse – I know the pain of opening offered in SF, East Bay, Marin, have a role in making things better (or worse) in my eyes and heart to what is going on in the and the Peninsula. FREE and our environment. But how exactly does that world around me and realizing that too much is open to women coping with concept apply to combating a specific problem being ignored. controlling relationships, past like domestic violence? Why does it matter what My world changed a couple years ago upon or present. For details call our one person does if they are not directly connected hearing painful revelations reported in the J. about Bay Area Toll-Free Helpline sexual abuse perpetrated by a trusted Jewish to this issue? Of all the important causes in the world, why choose this one unless you have been community member many years ago at a Jewish 1-866-SHALOM-7 summer camp I attended as a young person. This personally affected or know someone who has? SF group made possible by the Jewish We dug deeply into this question at our annual man, who was a leader in the Jewish community I Community Endowment Newhouse Fund grew up in, not only abused young people in the and Mount Zion Health Fund. Creating Hope celebration this year, where we heard a resounding message that domestic community and at camp, but he also viciously East Bay groups made possible by the violence can only be stopped when we have abused his son – who finally found the courage to Civic Foundation & The Jewish Federation share his story after decades of suffering. and Jewish Community Foundation everyone’s help. From men’s role in motivating This drove home the reality that sometimes it of the East Bay. their peers, to the ways that a community’s Thank you! response can directly affect an abused woman’s takes years for victims to come forward, and that the painful impact of these acts affects people in ability to find safety and healing, to the especially dramatic ways. Writing about my pain in learning important role played by those not directly affected by domestic violence, we need all hands this and wanting to step forward in helping the Newsletter Editor healing process, I wrote an op-ed for the J. My Ruth Rotem on deck in order to shift the cultural norms that perpetuate the problem of domestic violence. public stance allowed others to speak to me and Below are five key reasons why we need share their stories of abuse – often perpetrated by Shalom Bayit Staff a trusted person. Each story is real, whether it EVERYONE on board – and how your actions took place in or beyond our community. Despite Executive Director matter. great strides in education and communal Naomi Tucker 1. EPIC PROPORTIONS, EPIC IMPACT: While it may response, child sexual abuse remains a woefully appear to be a narrowly-focused issue area, Youth Program Coordinator under-addressed area in our community. I domestic violence is actually so pervasive, so Zephira Derblich-Milea thought of stories and people who have spoken to ingrained in our society and so directly linked to me over the years. Not only are people reluctant Direct Services Coordinator other societal problems of our time that no one to come forward, but more could be done as a Lisa Kahn-Tietz truly escapes its impact. It is the leading cause of

homelessness among women. It costs billions of unified community. Regional Counselors Several colleagues and experts in the field were Annie Goldstein dollars annually in lost productivity, health care and mental health services, criminal justice and eager to join me in saying: “Enough silence!” We Aliza Rothman created a group called Beyond Silence which law enforcement. According to the CDC, battered Outreach Coordinator women are 80% more likely to have a stroke, seeks to educate, activate, support, communicate Amalia Bob-Waksberg 70% more likely to have heart disease, and 60% and advocate about child sexual abuse. Since starting our campaign a year ago -- which crosses Program Associate more likely to have asthma than women who have not experienced intimate partner violence. denominations -- we have published a series of Ruth Rotem pieces in J. Weekly and are developing several One third of all women murdered in the US are Love Shouldn’t Hurt Interns related initiatives. killed by an intimate partner. —continued on p.2 Danny Charney Because 1 in 3 teen girls and 1 in 4 adult Emily Grant women will be in an abusive relationship in her Join us for...Upcoming Events Julia Kaufmann lifetime you probably know someone who has September 27th, 2015 Sarah McCaffrey been abused…or who is affected because of that Mia Szarvas Sukkot Community Gathering , Peninsula location abuse. Will you know what to do if your daughter, October 2015 Shalom Bayit is a beneficiary of the son, cousin, client, patient, colleague or good Domestic Violence Awareness Month Jewish Community Federation friend is in an unhealthy relationship? If you are an November 18th, 2015 of San Francisco, the Peninsula, employer, did you know that California law Beyond Silence Conference on Child Sexual Abuse, Marin and Sonoma Counties, requires you to give time off to employees who Peninsula Temple Sholom a project of the Tides Center and a th are victims of domestic violence if they need to May 17 , 2016 proud member of the San Francisco Creating Hope Celebration, JCCSF Domestic Violence Consortium. —continued on p.2 All Together Now Continued from page 1 take care of legal proceedings? If you work Yom Kippur we recite the al cheyt in the And so it takes all of us. in a synagogue or school, do you know plural, seeking forgiveness for our collective As our 2015 Creating Hope chairs Debbie how to guide families toward safety plans misdeeds. We all say them even if we and Barry Cohn noted, “Too often, the or talk to children about abuse they are haven’t each committed all those “sins” burden to expose this deplorable behavior witnessing in the home? because what one person does affects all of is on the victim or their loved ones. We A problem with such broad reaching us living in community together, and we want to change that. We must change impact cannot be solved without universal are each and all responsible for righting the that. We want men and women to model response. We need everybody in this wrongs of our collective humanity. healthy relationships. We want fathers and together. Similarly, from we are commanded mothers to stand up and say NO to 2. PUBLIC RESPONSE CHANGES THE OUTCOME. not to stand idly by when our neighbor is excuses and leniency for any type of Stories of violence against women in the being harmed (Lev. 19:16) a clarion call for abuse. We want Shalom Bayit to be a news are countless. But what is new and community involvement in domestic shared value throughout our community.” heartening is how the public is responding. violence indeed. Finally, the Simply put, domestic violence is too If any good can come out of so much teaches “Whoever destroys a soul, it is strong a force and too widespread a tragedy, it is the simple fact that we are considered as if they destroyed an entire problem to stop unless we have everyone talking about it more than ever. The public world. And whoever saves a life, it is on board. We need each of you. Thank debate over the NFL’s response to considered as if they saved an entire you for joining us in this life-changing domestic violence, the firing of a Silicon world.” understands that our work. We hope in turn that you will spread Valley CEO because of domestic violence actions impact one another. the word to everyone you know – so that charges, or even the way the citizens of we can truly turn the tide of humanity to San Francisco have responded to having an 4. ALL CHILDREN NEED TOOLS FOR A HEALTHY bring peace in the place that matters most. elected Sheriff with a domestic violence FUTURE. The home is where we learn our  conviction on his record, “Too often, the burden to earliest lessons on how are all signs that our expose this deplorable to treat others. All of us Rabbi’s Corner community is more aware behavior is on the victim or can make a difference by Continued from page 1 and less tolerant of modeling healthy We are driven by the knowledge that intimate partner violence. their loved ones. We want behaviors at home – abuse remains woefully under-addressed Most importantly, the to change that. We must from communication despite the earnest actions by law public response is moving change that. We want men and nurturing to enforcement, social services, educators, away from victim-blaming, and women to model teaching children how to mental health professionals and clergy. toward a clear message of express feelings, set healthy relationships. We This is a societal problem that crosses accountability where it personal boundaries and want fathers and mothers social, religious and economic strata and belongs: with the resolve conflicts to stand up and say NO to includes the Jewish community. The perpetrators. peacefully. If you are a excuses and leniency for Beyond Silence rabbinic statement (j. These public parent, grandparent, any type of abuse. We Weekly, 2/7/14) affirms that we will reach responses make a teacher, or anyone who for tikkun – repair of this real problem. difference. A strong want Shalom Bayit to be a spends time with One aspect of the rabbinic statement is community response can shared value throughout children, you have a framing the issue of sexual abuse through discourage abusive our community.” tremendous opportunity the prism of Jewish values. As we listen behavior, can encourage to teach the next and open our doors and hearts to stories, survivors to seek support, and can generation the skills they need in order to we affirm that every human being is influence policy change. Whether it’s a have healthy relationships. created b’tzelem elokim – in the Divine new law or a policy in place at a Jewish Image. Each person deserves to thrive in a agency, institutional change can pave a 5. SOCIETAL PROBLEMS REQUIRE A COMMUNAL safe environment where we can realize our safer path for many people. RESPONSE. Domestic Violence is not an full potential. To foster tzelem elokim, we What allows abuse to go unchecked is individual problem or psychopathology. It pledge to be present, to listen and to act. the lack of public outcry or social is a control pattern and belief system consequences. If our entire society truly learned through intergenerational cycles, Na’aseh – We are acting. On rose up and said “NO MORE” to domestic media, societal values, how we raise our November 18th 2015 we’ll be holding a violence it would actually stop. Perpetrators children, how we model conflict resolution Day of Learning on child sexual abuse, would not be able to get away with their and how we as a society view power, where educators and communal abusive behavior. If everyone together – violence, women, and the construct of professionals will come together for friends, families, congregations, social intimate relationships. What is needed is a training. Shalom Bayit is a leader in this circles, workplaces and of course the shift in those societal attitudes and beliefs – effort and I feel honored to have such wise criminal justice system – refused to let and all of us can help make that shift experience and compassion to rely upon. people get away with such atrocities, we happen. We hope that educators, communal could make it very difficult for anyone to Some examples and things you can professionals, clergy, and lay leaders will th abuse their partner. We need an do: don’t tolerate abusive behavior among join us on November 18 to learn and unequivocal community response - ALL OF your friends. Don’t let your friends get collaboratively generate a clear, strong US - standing together, collectively saying away with mistreating their partner, kids, community response to child sexual no to domestic violence. coworkers or friends. Men: if you hear your abuse. Together we say, 3. IT’S A CORE JEWISH VALUE: The Talmudic friends talking disparagingly about their teaching that Jews are all responsible for female partners, speak up. Help create a Hineini – Here we are. one another – “Kol Yisrael arevim zeh culture of respect in relationships. b'zeh” – specifically refers to a communal Encourage people to talk about their  responsibility for one another’s behavior. At feelings, not blame them on others.

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Thank you to our spectacular chairs Debbie & Barry Cohn, to our event committee and honorary committee members, to our generous sponsors and supporters and to all who celebrated Shalom Bayit’s 23rd Anniversary with us on May 6th.. What a truly remarkable experience. Keynote speaker Jackson Katz, PhD, along with the personal stories shared that evening, left us all deeply inspired to work together as a community to stop domestic violence — and in particular, to understand how men can be leaders in this work. From the actions we take to the language we use when speaking about violence, Creating Hope painted a vivid picture of how we all can make a difference and take steps toward SHALOM IN EVERY HOME.

Rabbi Batshir Torchio, Keynote Speaker, Sam Lauter, Joe Abrams, Rabbinic Advisory Jackson Katz, PhD Past & Present Board Members: Kate Kendra & Tom Kasten, Council Co-chair Rabbi VanZanten, Celia Harms, Laura Katz, Event Chairs Debbie & Barry Cohn Menachem Creditor, Linda Kalinowski, Ellen Benjamin Rabbi Maggid Jhos Singer

Stephanie Rapp, Barry Finestone, Lauren Brandt, Claudia Felson, Rabbi Howard Ruben, Rabbi Jim Brandt Ellen Finestone Event Chair Debbie Cohn, Board Board Member Sandra Lipkowitz, Chair Linda Kalinowski, Linda Rae Paul, Stephen Sanders, Executive Director Naomi Suzy Katzman, Jon Benjamin Tucker, Event Chair Barry Cohn Photos by Casey Girard Girard Casey by Photos

OCTOBER ISIS DOMESTIC VIOLENCEIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH Love Shouldn’t Hurt

You can help us raise awareness by encouraging Bring our healthy relationships education and dating violence your community, congregation or group of friends to prevention to your school or congregation! demonstrate their commitment to a future free of abuse: Love Shouldn’t Hurt offers healthy relationships workshops to Shalom Bayit Community Sukkot Gathering synagogues, religious schools, Jewish day schools, summer

For more information and details: [email protected] camps, and Hillels, providing information about relationship abuse and tools to promote healthy relationships from a Jewish perspective. Since 2002 over 11,000 youth (6th grade - college), parents, and educators have participated in these interactive, Purple Ribbons educational workshops.

Tie Purple Ribbons to your communal or family sukkah (Erev Together, the components of Love Shouldn’t Hurt place abuse Sukkot 5776 is Sunday Sept. 27th) to honor those who do not dwell prevention squarely at the center of Jewish youth programming, in peace and safety in their own homes. Place the ribbon on your strengthening our community sukkah with a “May our homes be a shelter of peace” blessing by teaching youth, adults, and community leaders to prevent card. To request a ribbon/blessing card, abuse before it starts. call (510) 451-8874 or [email protected] For more information or to schedule a workshop, Thank you for helping us spread peace. Together we can make a contact Love Shouldn’t Hurt at difference in the coming year and for future generations. (510) 451-8874 or [email protected]

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Thank you to our supporters! Contributions: July 2014 - June 2015 Etz Chayim / Tree of Life Cathy Dobbs Goldstein & Shelley Friedman & Jewish Community High School $25,000+ Philip Goldstein Tania Lowenthal of the Bay Mount Zion Health Fund Marc & Marci Dollinger Ron & Stacy Kahn Ellen & Rabbi Doug Kahn Jewish Community Federation & DTZ Rabbi Yoel Kahn / Ellyn Kaschak, PhD Endowment Fund of San Francisco, the Ray & Leslie Edelman Congregation Beth El Kendra & Tom Kasten Peninsula, Marin & Sonoma Counties Rosalie Eisen Eva-Lynne Leibman Susie Katzman Walter & Elise Haas Fund Rabbi Ted Feldman / Rabbis Chai Levy & Susan Leider / Kehilla Community Synagogue B'nai Israel Jewish Center Congregation Kol Shofar Leslie & Jeff Klonoff Voice of Hope: $10,000+ Wendy Feldman Sandra Lipkowitz Laura & Gary Lauder Grossberg Abrams Foundation Donny & Janie Friend Albert Nahman Stephanie & Sam Lauter Linda & Tom Kalinowski Michelle & Bob Friend Ricki Oleon Antonia Lavine Verizon Wireless Foundation Lisa & Douglas Goldman Fund Karen & Brian Perlman Cari Lehman Wings of Peace: $5,000+ Rabbi Corey Helfand / Rabbis Lawrence Raphael & Julie Saxe- Barbara Levinson Barry & Debbie Cohn Peninsula Sinai Congregation Taller / Congregation Sherith Israel Dan & Nora Levinson Tricia & Richard Gibbs, MDs Howard & Susan Geifman Sherri Richards Jacob & Emily Levy Lumina Foundation Philanthropic Fund of JCF East Bay Eva, Aaron & Ellie Roodman Nancy Lewin & Jim Offel Janet A. Martin Norman Hersch Kathryn Rudman Kate Lorig Susan & Phyllis Moldaw Johanna & Jeffrey Ilfeld Suzanne Sims Woo Rabbi Janet Marder / Congregation Barbara & Richard Rosenberg Kendra & Tom Kasten & Michael Sosebee Beth Am Marjorie Swig Ron & Barbara Kaufman Joelle Steefel Rabbis Sheldon & Janet Marder Neil & Yvette Trubowitch Richard & Paola Kulp Abby Teisch Paulette Meyer & David Friedman Jewish Community Endowment Julie & David Levine Jessica Trubowitch Alexis Milea & Jerry Derblich Newhouse Fund Moses & Susan Libitsky Kate VanZanten Hiroko Nogami-Rosen Houston Jewish Federation Patricia R. Lurie Mary Woten Bonnie Rosenberg Jewish Community Federation & Miriam Manber Roberta & Murray Zucker Lisa & Peter Rosenberg Foundation of the East Bay Rabbi Jacqueline Mates-Muchin / Stephen Ruben / Chachamah / Wise One: $360+ Ingrid Tauber / Laszlo N. Tauber Temple Sinai of Oakland The Ruben Law Firm Rabbi Gershon Albert / Family Foundation Rabbi Alissa Miller Rabbi SaraLeya Schley Beth Jacob Congregation Nancy Miliken, MD Teddy & Bruce Schwab Healing Angels: $2,500+ Rosyland & Dr. Robert Bauer Gail & Bernard Nebenzahl Rabbi Judy Shanks & James Gracer Julie Chaiken / Donald & Carole Estelle Baum JaMel & Tom Perkins Bonni Shenk Chaiken Foundation Wendy Bear Harriet Prensky & Bill Pomeranz Jane & John Siegel Denise Cohn Anne & Michael Becker Lisa & John Pritzker Risa & Jeff Sparks Sandi Gutierrez & Don Morris Valli Benesch & Robert Tandler Sue Reinhold & Deborah Newbrun Jane & Richard Springwater Celia & Terry Harms Riva & David Berelson Robert Rosner & Julie Goldman Jeff & Joani Starkovich Cathy & Jim Koshland Eve Bernstein & Alex Gersznowicz Toby & Robert Rubin Kate Taffel Linda & Frank Kurtz Judy & Jordan Bloom Dan & Jackie Safier Michelle & Keith Tandowsky Linda Rae Paul & Steven Sanders Robin Brasso Sue & Gary Schwartzman Tehiyah Day School 7th grade class Jan Cook Reicher Lynne Brinton & Dan Cohn Shalom Bayit Fund in honor of Fran & Joel Teisch Toby & Robert Rubin Rachel Brodie & Adam Weisberg Harold & Sylvia Jacobs at JCEF Judy Tick & Steven Ganz Roselyne C. Swig Sally Brown Chuck Silverman Leslie & Stephen Ticktin Beth-Ann & Marvin Wenger Michael Brozman Rabbi Mark & Marsha Strauss-Cohn Preeva & Leonard Tramiel Judy & Mark Yudof Robert M. Caplan, CPA Janet Surkin & Bob Stillman Melody Howe Weintraub Congregation Rodef Sholom Bonot Chalom / Temple Isaiah Carol Weitz Contra Costa Jewish Day School DreamBuilders: $1,000+ Kate VanZanten Ruth Wilcox Adele Corvin Hope & Noah Alper Drs. Madhulika Varma & Kathy Williams Dana Corvin Anne Bakar / Telecare Corporation Jonathan Terdiman Carol & Terry Winograd Rabbi Menachem Creditor / Cantor Roslyn Barak & Rabbi Beth Dawn Marie Wadle Terri Witriol & Ralph Sklar Congregation Netivot Shalom Singer / Congregation Emanu-El Ronald C. Wornick Jewish Day Rhoda & Sheldon Wolfe Alyona Doubrovina & Karen Barton-Maycock & School / 7th Grade Tzedakah Rochelle & Simon Zak Alex Rozenfeld Randall Maycock Howard & Diane Zack Mimi & Rabbi Nat Ezray Gomelet Chesed / Benefactor: Ellen & Jon Benjamin Shomeret / Guardian: $540+ Farella Braun + Martel LLP $180+ Amy & Matt Berler Rabbi Ruth Adar & Linda Burnett Josiane Feigon Liki & Joe Abrams Michael Bien & Jane Kahn Nicole Aron Sheila & Milton Fine Deborah Israel Acdan Aaron & Marie Blackman Foundation Andi & David Arrick Barry & Ellen Finestone Sue & Ron Bachman Abigail & Brian BloomKing Leslie & Jerry Behar Rabbi Michelle Fisher Rose Barlow Shirley Bob Lynne Belmont / Fox Graphics Donna & Joe Fogel Bay Area Brandeis Hillel Day School Ellen Bob & David Waksberg Sara Shelby Friedman Berkeley Hillel Foundation Mrs. Ida G. Braun Sherry Brown-Ryther & Alice Galoob & Roger Friedberger Rachel & David Biale Anlee J. Brickman David Ryther Jerilyn Gelt Emily Blanck & Daniel Weiss Ellen & Marc Brown Russ & Mylene Caplan David & Cheri Goldberg Sarah Bloom Richard & Victoria Burt Abby Caplin & Ami Goodman Rivka Greenberg Abigail & Brian BloomKing Russ & Mylene Caplan Madeline Chaleff & David Arfin Marsha & Ralph Guggenheim Kenneth Bob Len & Roberta Cohn Rabbi Steven & Leona Chester Joe & Barbara Gurkoff Raphael Bob-Waksberg Carol Davis & Dr. Joel Marcus Betsy Eckstein & David Heller Marilyn Higuera Page 4 Contributions, continued from page 4 Rabbis David Booth & Sarah Graff / David & Donna Neumark Marilyn Hoffman Roberta Fink Congregation Kol Emeth Jacqueline Neuwirth & Steven Swire James Hollander Ruth & Leslie Finkelstein Beth Brenner-Josef Rabbi Philip Ohriner Lorraine Honig Nanette & Richard Freedland Marci Briskin Sharon Osen Corinne Jaffe-Gellman Bab Freiberg & Lee Bearson Linda Cantrell Peninsula Temple Sholom Bonnie Kalbrosky Anne Fuchs-Chesney Marsha Rosner Caplan Jan Platt Laura Katz Ora Gittelson-David Rabbi Ari Mark Cartun & Carolyn Power Perlstein Phyllis A Kimmel Rabbi Dan Goldblatt / Joyce MacIver Cartun Robin Reiner & Fred Isaac Linda & Bob Kiss Beth Chaim Congregation Gina Catena Karen Robbins Ravi Krishnaney Michael Goldstein & Debbie Gold Sarah Cohn Sheri & Paul Robbins April Lapidus Cherie & Frederick Half Congregation Beth Emek Monica Rodriguez Kuniyoshi Joan Levison Susan Hamlin Contra Costa Midrasha Chantal Saperstein Bonnie Lindauer Dan Harris Richard A. Cummings Norman Schlossberg Shari Malone & Bob Kozma Barbara Hendrickson Ruth Derblich Janet Schneider Sanford Margolin Hannah Hochstaedter Sheila Devore Rebecca Schwartz & Roger Feigelson Natalie Martina Joan & David Karlin Joan Diengott Erin Scott Helen McKennon Paul Kivel & Micki Luckey Rabbi Aderet Drucker / Dana Sheanin Marcia Meister Samantha & John Kniffin Congregation B'nai Shalom Shir Hadash Men's Club Ms. Terry Pink Alexander Vivian Kral East Bay Community Recovery Roslyn M. Sholin Amy Rabbino Elizabeth Landers Project Arthur & Elizabeth Spander Stephanie Rapp Nancy Lemon Dawn & Karl Ehrlich Joel Spolin Jeffrey, Amber, Rachel & Lenore Levinson Lynn Epstein Anne & David Steirman Naomi Rosen Kate Loring & Bob Benjamin Susan & Bill Epstein Karen & Rabbi Andy Straus Michael Roth Ruth Malkin Heidy Feinberg Kate Taffel San Francisco Hillel Katherine McCarthy Claudia Felson Tri-Valley / Tri-Cities Midrasha Marc Schenker Helena Mcmahon Richard Fiedotin Anya Rose Tucker Bonni & Steve Schiff Ronald Meckler & Bella Shapero Judi Finkelstein Maria & Henry Vogel Anne Shmitz & Aaron Kaufmann Roberta Mindich-Fink Shelley Forrest Florence & Irving Waksberg Rabbi Avi Schulman & Eve Ben-Ora Susan & Bill Mirbach Joan & Michael Fox Rochelle B. Weil Michael Silverman Karen Moore Wanyee Francis Trudi White Michele Stafford Barbara & Bob Morrison Alla Gershberg & Dale Boutiette Diane & Howard Winer Anita L. Stapen Sandra Noack Stella & David Goodwin Karen Winkleman-Furman & Barbara Shufro & David Steuer Judith Offer Tracey Grown Bruce Furman Rabbi Batshir Torchio & Dean Peninsula Temple Beth El Rabbi Jason Gwasdoff / Jacob Winkler MacDonald Lory Pilchik Temple Israel in Stockton Sue & Richard Wollack Harriet Tucker Judith & Harry Radousky Marissa Halbrecht Dr. Eleanor Zuckerman Sands Tucker Ariella & Michael Radwin Heather Hansen Beverly Upton & David Hill Susan & Mike Rancer Madricha / Advocate: $108+ Van & Jeri Hart Rabbi Eric Weiss / Cynthia & Bob Rawitch Mark Aarsonson & Marjorie Gelb Jessica Herman Bay Area Jewish Healing Center Edwin Richard Sue Adler-Bressler & Dave Bressler Hannah Hochstaedter Elihu Welber & Jan Herr Debby & Rabbi Howard Ruben Lynn Altshuler Deborah & Craig Hoffman Linda Wertheim Arlene Saidman Rabbi Camille Angel Valerie Hoffman Rebecca & Rabbi Peretz Wolf-Prusan Adrienne & Martin Segol Lorri Arazi The Hutchinson Family Charene Zalis & Peter Waldman Rabbi Judith Seid & David Gates / Ron Astor Naomi Jay Paul Zarefsky Tri Valley Cultural Jews Julie & Ron Bannerman Rabbi Valerie Joseph Fay Zenoff Eva Seligman-Kennard Marsha Lee & Norman Berkman Minouche Kandel & Rick Sheinfield Ellen & Irving Zucker Robyn & Loren Shalinsky Diane Bernbausm Mara Kassoff Ruth Sheidlower Deborah Bloch Ozeret / Supporter: $72+ Kehillah Jewish High School Raegan Shigeyoshi Ann Bogdanow Linda & David Altshuler Renee & Henry Kim Emily Silberstein Francine Curtis Evelyn Benas Carol A. Kirsh & Thomas M. Gottlieb Lynn Simon Sue Diamond & Martin Schenker Andrea Bloom Kol Shofar Morning Minyan Seth Skootsky Barbara Dukas Zachary Blumenfeld Ruth Krumbein Evan Smith Trish Elliott & Stan Klezmer Becky Bob-Waksberg Jo Anne & Hank Lerner Abby Snay Sheila & Philip Faillace Rabbi James & Lauren Brandt Mary & Andrew Lesser Joan Sopher Melissa Fletcher Art & Sheila Braufman Ilene Levinson & Rem Van Tijen Bracha & Don Stone Linda & Eli Frank Jack L. Brozman Ruth J. Levy Michele Stone George & Diane Frankenstein Marcia & Jan Chaiken Catherine Lewi Alicia Sullivan & Michael Baumstein Rosalind Franklin Diane Claerbout Sheila Lewis Sarah VanZanten Greta Frantz Elisabeth & Robert Cohen Bruce & Kim Licht Ariel Waitz Marianne & Herb Friedman Reba Cohen Judy & Steve Lipson Judith Waksberg & Philip Genty Nancy & Steven Ganz Bob Corso Barbara Loeb z”l Marianna Warmee Brenda Gates-Monasch Linda Cox Myers & David Myers Ronnie Mannos Ilene Weinreb Talya Gates-Monasch Donita Decker June McKay Sarah Weisman Rabbi Aubrey Glazer Benjamin Epstein Elaine Moise Diane & Josh Wirtschafter Rabbi Jason Gwasdoff & Robert Feld & Mary Rose O'Connor Gale Mondry Frances & Charles Wisch Lindy Passer Rabbi Yitzchok Feldman National Council of Jewish Women, Marian Wolfe & Scott Scheffler Jeff Halbrecht Bruce Feldstein San Francisco Section Amy Wollman & Gerry Berkowitz (Continued on page 6) Page 5 Contributions, continued from page 5 Anita Wornick S. K. Friedland Judith Kunofsky & Diane & Jerry Spagnoli Barry Zimmerman Sara & Steven Friedman Mitchell Shandling Ruth & Scott Spear Rabbi Pamela Frydman Erica Lander Marjorie & Dan Stamper-Kurn Chaverah / Friend Gary Gerber & Kerry Hyman Shirley Lerner Megan Stewart Larisa Alexander Aimee Golant Marlene Levenson Dianne Stockler & Jim Rosenau Joanne Backman & Harry Pollack Joe Goldman Connie Levi & Alan Robinders Carol Stone Judith Bailyn Meg Goldman & Alan J. Titus Dana Levine Neilda & Howard Sussman Monica Banchero Andrew Goldstein Joyce & David Lewbin Diane Swanson Dorean & Daniel Barnes Jennifer Goldstein Susan & Richard Lubeck Sara Tamir Miriam Barrere Dr. Erica Goode M Mentz Nechama & Howard Tamler Etan Basseri Miriam Goodley Sheri Morrison Claire D. Taylor Renee Bauer & Laurie Zimmerman Rabbi Marv Goodman & Sholom Mossman Laura Turbow Sherry Berkman Deborah Kelman Julie M. Patrusky, Ph.D. Alice Webber & Stephen Tobias Harriet Bernard Flora Green Carole Perl Susan Weber Betty & Jack Bernstein Claudette Greenblat Cynthia Prosterman Cathee Weiss Linda Blachman Beth Grossman Julie Robbins Cinti & Robert Cinti Merle Weston Fajans Rachelle Blecher Ellen & Barry Hecht Naomi Robinson Lisa Whitmore Dorothy Blint A. Arthur Hirschhorn Catherine & Fred Ross-Perry Kaseja Wilder Susan Blockstein Dona & Jordan Hopstone Ellen Rothmann Malcolm & Marcia Witter Maxene Bodin Ira Hymowitz Merle Ryan Michael & Jan Yaffe Kevin Brashem Joel & Helen Isaacson Merrylen Sacks & Bruce Irvine Gary & Linda Zellerbach Robin Braverman Rabbi Debbie Israel / Suzette Safdie Ethel Zivotofsky Gloria Brickman Congregation Emeth Salesforce Foundation Robyn Carmel Neil & Dina Jacobson Gerda Salzer, Linda Salzer, & Vivan Isis Choto Ruth Jaffe Duncan Rabbi Jennifer Clayman Zara Jaffe Ilana Schatz Rabbi David Cooper Steve Jeffries Donna Schempp THANK YOU Valerie Curtis, MD & Naomi Tucker Luanne Jenkins & Jody Adelberg Margot Schevill Francine Curtis to the many individuals, Larry Jerome Daniel Schley Regina DeAngelis foundations, businesses Lisa Kama Jan Schmuckler Donald & Myrna DeFriese Kitty Kameon Fritzi Schoen and organizations who Amy Eilberg & Louis Newman Lenore Karp Michal & Teddy Shalon Jill & Marc Engel make our programs a Gene & Susan Kaufman Jacqueline Shelton-Miller Flora & Bob Feldman success. We couldn’t do Nancy Kaufman-Cohen Samantha Snitow Rabbi Natan Fenner Jill Kneeter & Rabbi Edward Zerin Allegra Sockol this without you! Helen Field Barbara Kraus & John Benesch Julie Solomon Any omissions are Barbara Freeman Bertie & Sam Krieger Vicki Sommer Susan & Rabbi Gordon Freeman unintentional.

Relationship Support Group for Women

Does your partner make you feel bad about yourself? Do you know someone who could use our support? Are you scared to go home? We are here to help, whether coping with unhealthy dynamics from the past or present. Are you being hurt by someone you love? New 8 Week Group Forming YOU ARE NOT ALONE. WE ARE HERE TO HELP. This Fall in San Francisco

Funding generously provided by the Jewish Community Endowment Newhouse Fund and Mount Zion Health Fund

Counseling services also available in the Peninsula, Marin, South Bay & East Bay.

No charge  Confidential  Free childcare For information or to sign up: (866) SHALOM-7 or (866) SHALOM-7 [toll-free in the Bay Area] Page 6 Honorary and Memorial Gifts, July 2014 - June 2015

Honorary Gifts

In honor of Anya Tucker In honor of Marion Griffiths In honor of Susan Sugarman In memory of Diane & Josh Wirtschafter Robin Braverman Mark Aarsonson & Marjorie Gelb Felice Berkman Brewer

Joanne Backman & Harry Pollack Sherry Berkman In honor of Celia Harms In honor of Rosyland Bauer Judith & Marty Berg Renee Bauer & Laurie Zimmerman Ruth Wilcox In memory of Russell Brasso Merle Weston Fajans Robin Brasso In honor of Jon & Ellen Benjamin In honor of Jan Herr Judith Offer Deborah Bloch Aviva Herr Edwin Richard In memory of Abraham Brodsky

Kate Loring & Bob Benjamin Donna Schempp Rabbi Steven & Leona Chester In honor of Leor & Nadav Hersh Margot Schevill In honor of Amalia Bob-Waksberg Rivka Greenberg In memory of Lu Cotton Fritzi Schoener Ellen Bob & David Waksberg Van & Jeri Hart In honor of Henry Hollander Ruth & Scott Spear Amy Eilerg & Louis Newman Rabbi Aubrey Glazer Michele Stone In memory of Linda Danneberg Jeffrey, Amber, Rachel & Laura Turbow Diane Claerbout In honor of Mitch Hymowitz Naomi Rosen Maria & Henry Vogel Preeva & Leonard Tramiel Ira Hymowitz In memory of Anne Feld Ellen & Irving Zucker

Celia & Terry Harms In honor of Laiah Idelson & In honor of Nicole Brodsky In honor of Ingrid Tauber Eitan Bencuya In memory of Gertrude Gottlieb Rabbi Steven & Leona Chester Cantor Roslyn Barak

Dona & Jordan Hopstone Rivka Greenberg In honor of Carolyn Bushman & In honor of Mira Terdiman In honor of Justin In memory of Celia Kabakow Mitch Forster Rivka Greenberg Richard & Victoria Burt Robin Braverman Claire D. Taylor Jan Cook Reicher

In honor of Linda Kalinowski In memory of Evelyn Sholes Kagan In honor of Rabbi Steven & In honor of Naomi Tucker Andi & David Arrick Karen Winkleman-Furman & Leona Chester Terry Pink Alexander Flora & Bob Feldman Abby Caplin & Ami Goodman Bruce Furman Robyn Carmel Antonia Lavine Miriam Goodley Susan & Bill Epstein In memory of Barbara Loeb Kathryn Rudman Ruth Jaffe Ann Bogdanow In honor of Sandra Cohen Gary & Linda Zellerbach Rabbi Aubrey Glazer Betty & Donald Stone Judith Bailyn

In honor of Minouche Kandel & Barbara Dukas In honor of Sarah VanZanten In honor of Debbie & Barry Cohn Talia Korenbrot Melissa Fletcher Ron Astor Sarah Cohn Abigail & Brian BloomKing Joan Karlin Bob Corso In honor of Sarah & Kate Rene & Henry Kim In honor of Laura Katz Marsha & Ralph Guggenheim VanZanten Malcolm Witter Jeffrey Halbrecht Jo Anne & Hank Lerner Robyn Carmel In memory of Leslie Klonoff In honor of Sophia Kaufmann In honor of Christina Woo Frances Louise Martin Bruce & Kim Licht Anne Shmitz & Aaron Kaufmann Dan & Jackie Safier Suzanne Sims Woo Rivka Greenberg In honor of Jill Kneeter Jeff & Joani Starkovich In honor of the Women of Isaiah In memory of Michael Meltzer Jessica Trubowitch Michael & Jan Yaffe Lynn Epstein Rivka Greenberg Jacob Winkler In honor of Pam Kramer In honor of Rabbis Yoel Kahn, In memory of Walter Monasch & Roberta Zucker Donita Decker

Rebekah Stern, & Reuben Gretel Gates In honor of Kerry & Mari Cyphers In honor of Frank & Linda Kurtz Zellman of Congregation Beth El, Talya Gates-Monasch Greta Frantz Antonia Lavine Berkeley In memory of Rita Robbins Gail & Bernard Nebenzahl Susan & Paul Sugarman In honor of Julie Robbins Cinti & Robert Cinti Zephira Derblich-Milea Linda Wertheim In memory of Marilyn Rude Bab Freiberg & Lee Bearson In honor of Eva-Lynne Leibman Judi Finkelstein In honor of Wendy Feldman Rabbi Aubrey Glazer In memory of Ruth Naomi Sawyer Rabbi Mark Strauss-Cohn In honor of Sandy Lipkowitz Rivka Greenberg In honor of Ari Friedman & Ilene Levinson & Rem Van Tijen Jade Raydin Carolyn Power Perlstein In memory of Judy Segol  Adrienne & Martin Segol Rivka Greenberg In honor of

In honor of Talya Gates-Monasch Rabbi Jacqueline Mates-Muchin In memory of Milton Sigberman Brenda Gates-Monasch Luanne Jenkins & Jody Adelberg Maxene Bodin Memorial Gifts

In honor of Susan Moldaw In memory of Gertrude Veiss In honor of Phylis Godlove In memory of Al Joyce & David Lewbin Lisa & John Pritzker Rivka Greenberg Rivka Greenberg

Daniel Schley In honor of Jan Reicher In honor of David & In memory of Donna & Joseph Fogel In memory of Janice & Paul Wolf Cheri Goldberg Edith Katz Nelson Arrick Catherine Lewi Cantor Roslyn Barak Norman Schlossberg Rochelle B. Weil

Ellen Rothmann Rivka Greenberg In honor of Nicholas Reid Goldstein Abby Snay In memory of Arlene Barondess Linda & Tom Kalinowski Andrew Goldstein Larry Jerome Sandra Lipkowitz In honor of Sue Reinhold Erica Lander Robyn & Loren Shalinsky In honor of Rivka Greenberg Rachel Brodie & Adam Weisberg Sally Brown Emily Silberstein In honor of Jan Schmuckler Samantha Snitow In honor of Desmond Griffith Rivka Greenberg

Rivka Greenberg

Page 7 AROUND THE BAY...Announcements & Programs

Shalom Bayit is pleased to present, in collaboration with the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center, Jewish LearningWorks and the Northern California Board of Rabbis

Shalom Bayit P.O. Box 10102 Oakland, CA 94610 www.shalom-bayit.org A JEWISH PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT DAY ON CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE www.love-shouldnt-hurt.org WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 18TH, 2015 ish List ~ Phone: (510) 451-8874 Peninsula Temple Sholom, Burlingame A double bed Helpline: (510) 451-SAFE Jewish professionals, clergy, and community leaders serving at W with mattress, or (650) 574-SAFE congregations, JCCs, schools, or wherever children gather will meet to microwave, Bay Area toll-free helpline: learn about child sexual abuse and explore a Jewish approach to this vacuum cleaner (866) SHALOM-7 important issue. Together we will and how we can make our & sewing machine. Don’t community safer and develop a communal response. forget to send us those old cell phones, iPods & iPads IF YOU INTERACT WITH KIDS OR TEENS DON’T MISS THIS which benefit our clients Rabbinic Advisory Council For more information or to register: (415) 629-9841 or and raise funds for Shalom Menachem Creditor [email protected] Bayit too! Susan Leider http://www.norcalrabbis.org/beyond-silence Co-Chairs

Ruth Adar  Gershon Albert SHALOM BAYIT GETS A Leslie Alexander  Camille Angel CH...CH...CH...CHANGES… Melanie Aron  Rafael Asher NEW LOGO! Ryan Bauer  Allen Bennett Shalom Bayit wishes a fond farewell to long-time Direct Services Thanks to the Taproot Josh Berkenwald  Mark Bloom David Booth  Shula Stevens Calmann Coordinator Lisa Kahn-Tietz, who is relocating with her family to Foundation, we are excited to Ari Cartun Steven Chester Portland, Oregon. Lisa has been the heart of our counseling program announce that we are in the Yonatan Cohen  David Cooper for 6 years, helping hundreds of women on their healing journey. We final stages of a visual re- Mychal Copeland Lisa Delson Lavey Derby  Aderet Drucker have all grown and benefited immensely from Lisa’s wisdom, humor, branding project that will give Dennis J. Eisner  Nat Ezray passion for this work and loving presence. Lisa will be greatly missed! Shalom Bayit a new logo, look

Dan Feder  Ted Feldman  and feel, bringing our visual We’d also like to introduce you to two new wonderful staff Yitzchok Feldman  Joshua Fenton materials up to date with our Carla Fenves  Stacy Friedman  members. Please give a warm welcome to Ruth Rotem (Program current programs and community Pam Frydman  George Gittleman Associate) and Amalia Bob-Waksberg (Community Educator) Aubrey Glazer Dan Goldblatt presence. Ruth has worked for Jewish non-profits for 30 years, primarily in Israel as Marv Goodman  Danny Gottlieb While our programs have  part of the Reform/Progressive movement. She returned to the U.S. in Roberto Graetz Sarah Graff evolved over time (for Nicki Greninger Chaya Gusfield 2011 and is a recent transplant to the Bay Area, having traversed the example, we now serve a Jason Gwasdoff Corey Helfand US to join our team. A native of Detroit, graduate of the University of Me’irah Iliinsky  Debbie Israel wider audience including teens Michigan, and mother of 2 grown children, Ruth is also a history buff, Margie Jacobs  Burt Jacobson and young adults), our visual Valerie Joseph  Yoel Kahn and loves cooking and crafts. With her years of administrative assistant identity has not evolved with Stuart Kelman  Dean Kertesz experience, Ruth is looking forward to contributing to Shalom Bayit and Noa Kushner  Chai Levy that growth. Taproot provided to her future here in California. Amalia Bob-Waksberg, a Bay Area Sheldon Lewis  Michael Lezak  a team of pro bono experts in  native, first became interested in this work when she volunteered at a Jane Litman Dana Magat marketing and graphic design, Harry A. Manhoff  Janet Marder  battered women’s shelter in Israel at the age of 18. At Brandeis who for the past six months Sheldon Marder Sara Mason-Barkin  University, she co-founded Brandeis Students Against Sexual Violence Jacqueline Mates-Muchin have been gathering input and the Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance. Her experience in Mark Melamut  Lawrence Milder from our constituents to Alissa Miller Sydney Mintz working to end violence against women includes internships at Emerge develop a logo that will Katie Mizrahi  Philip Ohriner (a Boston-based batterer education program), MASUM (supporting Daniel Pressman  Howard Ruben represent Shalom Bayit’s survivors of domestic violence in rural villages in India) and her 2011 Elisheva Salamo  Julie Saxe-Taller mission and message.   Kohn Internship at Shalom Bayit. She is thrilled to re-join the Shalom SaraLeya Schley Avi Schulman For 23 years our logo has Hugh Seid-Valencia  Miriam Senturia Bayit team as a staff member, coordinating our community outreach. Judy Shanks  Beth Singer served us well. Now it’s time to Rebekah Stern  Laurie Hahn Tapper Stay tuned for more info as we introduce our next Direct Services grow and change, and we are Batshir Torchio Mimi Weisel Coordinator this fall. We are growing our staff team, expanding our excited to have a fresh, clean, Eric Weiss Peretz Wolf-Prusan Bridget Wynne offices and looking forward to sharing with you the many ways that we professional look. We hope are growing to meet the community’s need for Shalom Bayit’s presence you will love our new logo, Advisory Board and programs.  which is designed to convey Cantor Roslyn Barak the beautiful combination of Linda Kalinowski Sandra Lipkowitz warmth, compassion and Jan Reicher In-kind & financial contributions are fully tax deductible strength that is Shalom Bayit’s Abby Teisch Please send your gift to “Tides Center / Shalom Bayit” at hallmark in promoting healthy

Honorary members PO Box 10102, Oakland 94610 relationships in the Jewish Minouche Kandel, JD or donate securely online at www.shalom-bayit.org community. The new logo will Pam Kramer launch later this fall. Roselyne C. Swig Page 8