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Issue 955 - Weekly Thursday February 4th 1999 First Aid for Nurses but Teachers “Cheated”

he long awaited, much tout- Prime Minister Tony Blair said the ed public sector pay increas- pay awards were part of “the govern- Tes were announced on ment’s prudent and disciplined The Dirty Dozen Monday. Faced with falling morale approach to public spending and its and recruitment among 1.3 million commitment to delivering high-qual- professionals, the government was ity public services and low inflation”. under enormous pressure to take The Sabbatical Candidates gear up for the February elections. decisive action. Meanwhile university lecturers are campaigning for a 10% pay rise. Election Despite a widespread advertising Newly qualified nurses will receive They are not considered by the pub- Special campaign, Union officials were Returning Officer Celine a boost of 12%, to their pay packets, lic spending review body, which Inside slightly disappointed that the Gordine-Wright is hoping for an more than 4 times the rate of infla- advises the government on wage three remaining Sabbatical posts increase in the amount of votes tion. They will now receive £14,00 hikes such as those above. attracted just one candidate cast. Last year 1,200 people p.a. However more senior nurses each. voted representing over 10% of have been awarded just 4.7% The Association for University Surrey Students. This year a con- Teachers (AUT) says that its mem- certed effort has been made to A student nurse at Selly Oak bers have been “systematically cheat- Union President involve placement students, with Hospital Birmingham said she was ed and defrauded” by their pay sys- Harriet Sims over 500 ballot papers being sent “Very pleased. It makes the last three tem. David Triesman General thanked all throughout the UK, across years worthwhile …But there is no Secretary of AUT threatened strike the candi- Europe and as far afield as The incentive once you have done your action if there was not an independent dates for stand- United States. training to go higher up the grades.” review of lecturers pay. A sustained ing. She reminded strike could severely affect exams them that, even though The elections also include our bi- Christine Hancock, General and clearing in the summer. the number of candidates annual NUS affiliation referen- Secretary of the Royal College of was one down on the previous dum. The Universtiy of Surrey Nursing, agreed, saying “This award AUT members make up around year, twelve candidates would Students’ Union has been a strong at last starts to recognise the enor- 40% of academic staff at the ominations for have been exceptional just two supporter of NUS in the past and mous problem of nurse shortages but Univerity Of Surrey. Dr.Philip the 199/2000 years ago. has always returned a very strong 4.7% alone for the majority of nurses Whitney, Surrey’s AUT representa- NSabbatical elections YES vote when polled. simply isn’t going to be enough to tive backed up claims that wages for closed last Friday afternoon. Six candidates also put their keep these experienced and highly public sector workers had increased Twelve good men (and women) names forward for election to the Open up this issue to discover the skilled women and men in the NHS.” six and a half times faster than for and true, have stepped forward NUS Conference in March. The Election Special inside. This sup- university lecturers. He said that to subject themselves to the winning candidates will represent plement section contains the can- The government took the opposite their pay increases have barely kept rigours of a 3 week campaign. the students of Surrey University didates manifestos, a detailed approach to deal with lack of experi- up with inflation since 1972. Following the successful consti- at the annual Blackpool event. look at the benfits of NUS affilia- ence within the teaching profession. tutional amendment earlier this The six candidates are also cam- tion and details on how and where Primary school head teachers will get However he doubted that strike academic year, there are now six paigning to be elected leader of to vote. 9% more pay, compared to 3.5% more action would actually take place. sabbatical positions to be filled. the delegation sent to Conference. for class teachers. This has caused More likely, he felt that if the lec- The manifestos can also be found anger from teaching unions, saying it turers pay claim is not met, then The traditionally popular posts of Voting takes place throughout on the Union website at is performance related pay by the there will less enthousiasm from President and Sports Officers are week 5 (15th - 19th February). http://www.surrey.ac.uk/Union/el backdoor. Kathy Brimer an experi- staff. There will be a “decreasing to be contested by three people as Polling booths can be found at ections. enced teacher said “You are always willingness to keep British univer- is the newly adapted different sites on different days being asked to raise standards, it siteis at the peak of international Communications and Marketing with all the main University sites Barefacts will be covering the would be nice if that were recognised.” excellence.” he said. post. being covered. whole of the elections. News & Letters 1/2 n Union 3&4 n Music 5/6 n ELECTION SPECIAL - 12 PAGE PULL OUT Entertainments Guide 7 . n Notices 8 n Personals & Crossword 9 n Films 10 n Surrey Pride 11/12 ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 2 (1,1)

2 News Thursday 4th February 1999 n Editorial when they get in. Time has tions from Saturday 6th Feb. passed so quickly for us that News in Brief by James Buller electing our replacements Obviously the identity of the ell I can hardly seems somewhat premature. next Union President is far Editor believe it. The Even so I wish them all the more important than the Surrey MEP Tom Sherwen Wsabbatical elec- very best of luck and look identity of the next England Smuggled Drugs tions are here again. This forward to the results on Manager. Every Editor in the ([email protected]) means that it has been a year February 19th. country will have an opinion And Gay Porn since I went through all this and mine is “good riddance”. Around 1,000 students boy- Deputy Editor madness. Just think how All the candidates are going Surrey Conservative cotted exams to demand the Steven Alexander much has happened in that to try and convince you to In last weeks article on European Member of release of their comrades. Parliament, Tom Spencer Several students were previ- ([email protected]) year. The elections them- vote for them. I am just going accommodation it read that selves will hopefully be the to try and convince you to 2nd, 3rd and final year stu- has spent the week dealing ously arrested while demon- biggest and most imagina- vote. The candidates obvi- dents paying overseas fees with the reaction to his strating about the strange Arts Editor tive yet. Come along to hus- ously care about what hap- have to apply for accommo- drugs and gay porn smug- ways in which property Daniel Jones tings next Monday and pens to the Union and dation - BUT - they are gling affair. developers get permission to destroy ancient wood- ([email protected]) Thursday and quiz the can- whether you are here next guaranteed University didates on anything you year or not I know you do too. accommodation. Virtually On 20th January customs land. The students also set Use your vote wisely and all 2nd years (full fees) go to officers at Heathrow Airport fire to cars and blocked the News Editor want. For this years sabbat- icals it is a slightly strange enjoy the campaigning. Hazel Farm. found cocaine, cannabis capital Nairobi's main James Buller feeling. The candidates are Last word on elections - , cigarettes, a video tape and roads. ([email protected]) talking about how they are Look up the elections website Next week - Do you want to pornographic gay maga- going to do a better job www.surrey.ac.uk/Union/elec get into “Snatch”? zines in Spencer’s luggage. W.Midlands Police Features Editor Spencer paid a £600 on the Cleared Of spot fine for smuggling. Nick Walsh Your Letters Afterwards he admitted that Prejudice ([email protected]) leaving the items in his suit- Union Discrimination case was “an act of sheer A man who took the police Music Editor lunacy”. He said the drugs to court for racial harass- Andrew Thomas Dear Barefacts, an event to discriminate and the letches who clearly need to were given to him in a ment has lost his case. deride anyone who might be a get out more. Surely we’ve all social situation, but that he Black, Carl Josephs, 27 ([email protected]) Our Union is committed bit ugly, just slightly plain, or out grown the idea that you did not actually use them. complained after he was against discrimination on the who doesn’t quite look like can judge someone on what The magazines are freely stopped in his car, 30 times Sports Editor grounds of “race, sex, sexual Claudia/Naomi/or any other they might just happen to look available on the continent in two years. orientation, disability, ethnic overpaid clothes hanger. like, and yet this seems exact- but illegal in the UK. Paul Cliff origin, religion or creed, or Wonky nose? No one will ly what our self-righteously However Birmingham ([email protected]) HIV status”, and pledges that, love you. Weedy chest? Get anti-discrimination-on-any- as such, “harassment of any outta here, but hey, if you hap- grounds Union seems to have Tory bosses suspended the Crown Court dismissed all kind will not be tolerated”. pen to have a great pair of in mind. party whip from the senior but one of Josephs' claims. Commercial Manager These fine words are on dis- legs, then you’re an infinitely MEP on Sunday. He is now He was awarded £1,000 for Vacant play for anyone to peruse at better person, and deserve Yours Concernedly banned from all unlawful arrest due to a case ([email protected]) your nearest Union watering praise and adoration. I refer to Conservative Party business of mistaken identity, but hole. Perhaps then, someone the proposed beauty contest Name Withheld, as do not want at the European Parliament. charges of false imprison- in the know could explain the and body building spectacle. perceptions of my looks (how- After talks with Tory Party ment and racial harassment pernicious rumour circulating Isn’t it time we all grew up a ever they may be) to influence Chairman Michael Ancram, were not upheld. that the self same establish- bit. A harmless bit of fun? the reading of this letter. Spencer announced that he Deadline for Publication ment is hosting and promoting For who? The winners and would not stand to be an Josephs said "I'm very dis- Monday 10am MEP again at the European appointed and to be honest, For Richer For Poorer elections in June. quite surprised…it sends out the wrong message to Bare Facts is an editorially independent As a member of the Students favour of loans and cut spend- of profiteering doesnt really newspaper, published by the University Union of the University of ing on higher education. fit in with their noble battles 50 year old Spencer has the community." West of Surrey Students' Union Communications Office. Surrey, I occasionally pick up Our Students Union is repre- on our behalf against student served the people of Surrey Midlands Police said "The The views expressed within the paper a copy of Bare Facts and see if senting us in this fight, and for poverty. I’d also hate to point for 9 years and been married court's ruling demonstrates are those of individual authors, and do not necessarily represent the views of there is anything interesting in this, I am grateful, even it will out that one of the reasons we for 20. His wife Liz said she that our officers have the Editor, the Editorial Board, the it. The one thing I notice is probably prove to be as effec- are all so poor might just be had known Tom was gay behaved in an ethical and University of Surrey Students' Union or that there is a regular theme to tive as a fart in a hurricane in because the Students Union is the University of Surrey. when they met impartial manner and we are This publication may not be reproduced some of the material presented the long term, and is simply so expensive. in whole or in part, stored in any form, Southampton University. happy that their honesty has copied or distributed, without the express in this newspaper, a theme of putting off the inevitable for And without advertising, for permission of the publisher. student representation against the immediate with dire con- the past month you could have However she maintained been vindicated. All submissions must include the author's that they had a happy and name and Union or Staff Number. the oppression of sequence in the meantime. bought pints of Guinness, Submission is no guarantee of Government. But spare me the replies as, London Pride, Theakstons understanding relationship. Josephs' car is a red Metro publication. Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles Its not quite as groovy as the "quite frankly, my dear, I dont Best, Directors Best or John The couple have three chil- with "One Love" on the side will not be published. Students movement of the give a damn.". The matter that Smiths for ninety-nine pence a dren. and the Jamaican flag on the Bare Facts reserves the right to edit submissions. Swinging Sixties, fighting for does interest me is that our pint in J.D. Weatherspoons. back. He says he had to see World Peace, sex, drugs and Students Union is represent- There were probably others, Spencer will keep his seat as a psychiatrist and use public Rock n Roll, but its still there. ing us in a noble fight of prin- but my liver raised objection to an MEP until June and then transport because of the Printed by The issues now are the less cipal against poverty, and has a more thorough investigation step down. Conservatives in police force's actions. East End Offset (TU), interesting realms of finance the gall to charge 2.05 for a .regards Bow, London, E3 3LT that affect us all as successive pint of Caffreys. I’d hate to Guildford described him as Governments cut grants in point out to them that this sort Alistair Gerrard “a very good MEP - out- 15 Dead In standing”. They said they © USSU Communications Nigerian Riot A big thank you to RAG would be very sorry to see Office 1998 him go. OPEN LETTER we have now reached our caring for people living with At least 15 youths have target of £1million, which is cancer and their families in Kenyan Police been killed when fighting broke out with troops in Bare Facts The Students University of a fantastic achievement by the locality and we could not Shoot At Student Union House Surrey everyone who has con- have raised the necessary Nigeria. The youths were University Of Surrey tributed in one way or funds without the kindness Protesters demanding work at a huge Guildford I am writing to thank you so another to raise this sum. of people like yourselves. oil terminal, owned by Surrey much for all your efforts Shell. Mysteriously neither GU2 5XH during rag week to raise the The Beacon is now open Thank you all so much. Student environmentalists Shell nor government offi- magnificent sum of £1,000 and receiving patients. It With kind regards and best have clashed with police in cials would comment on the Tel: 01483 259275 towards the Guildford also houses the Community wishes to you all. Kenya. The BBC reported incident which was reported Fax: 01483 534749 Appeal for the new Day Macmillan Nursing service that students had been loot- by eye witnesses to the Care Centre which is now for the area. Yours Sincerely ing and throwing stones. Nigerian Tribune newspa- email: known as the Beacon. Police responded with live per. [email protected] The Centre is a very valu- Jenny Vince bullets and tear gas. I am pleased to report that able asset to the services Deputy Appeals Manager ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 3 (1,1)

n Thursday 4th February 1999 3 Union All Very Camp Hairtec amp America, the organ- all over the world. I also had isation that organises work, the chance to visit Boston and *2 Passport sized photographs. Cvisas, and travel for young New York, something that I *2 Character references from 24 Madrid Road people who want to go and work on never dreamed I would do. I employer/college (originals on holiday camps in the U.S over the would strongly recommend headed paper , dated with in the summer is holding its annual Camp America to anyone look- last 12 months). (01483)440414 recruitment fairs again in February. ing for something new and *Certificates (teaching, sports These fairs give you a chance to challenging to do this summer. etc...). select your own placement rather *£40 first deposit payable only Shampoo & Blow Dry from £9.00 than applying blindly to Camp The largest fair (200 camps if you apply. Another deposit America and going to wherever represented) and the nearest to will later be required if you are Cutting incl. Shampoo from £11.00 they send you. Surrey is the London fair. It successful. Gents cut incl. shampoo from £8.50 will be held in Kensington Last summer I spent ten idyllic Town Hall, Horton street, All applicants must be 18 or Semi permanent Tint from £22.00 weeks working on a girls camp London W8, on Saturday 6th over and available by 30th June Permanent Tint £ from £25.00 in Maine. I was out in the sun- February (10am-4pm) and until approximately 20th Highlights/Lowlights from £35.00 shine, everyday doing sailing, Sunday 7th February August. For further information swimming, horse riding and (11am-4pm) 1999. write to Camp America, Dept Permanent Wave from £32.50 water skiing and have come All applicants should bring NA, 37a Queen’s Gate, London KMS/Fudge Treatment from £3.00 home with lasting friendships with them: SW7 5HR. Sets & Blow Drys included in all Dancing? Perming & Colouring Services, but excluding Cutting

o you like dancing? every lesson is a new lesson Society’s webpages and Reduced Prices for Students Ballroom or Latin? for everyone, no one is an soon we are going to publi- DWe have both. We expert on the dance floor. So cise an easy-to-follow steps’ Tango, ChaCha, don’t be shy or afraid, come sketches on the web every Tuesdays - Fridays inclusive Waltz, Jive, Samba, Rumba, and join us, it is definitely week. So why wait? It’s Paso Doble, Quickstep, going to be fun. “ What easy to learn and good fun. Foxtrot, Swing and ..?, you about a partner? Come to the University Hall name it, we have it. We, the “” Do I have to bring one? “ every Wednesday at 7:30pm Lloyds UniS Ballroom Dancing No... we change partners all for advanced class and Society, in short BDS, is a the time and I’m sure you 8:30pm for beginners until Chemist welcome-all Society. Young will get to dance with at 9:30pm. As we have to pay and dynamic, we have big least 3 partners in one tuition fees to the profes- dreams for the future and evening, unless you choose sional from outside, we col- Madrid what we need is the enthusi- to stick to one. :) Don’t lect 1.50 pounds from stu- The Astolat asm from the members. As worry if you think that you dents and 2.00 pounds from GPA Road one may ask, “ Would it be are a beginner, the class is non-students. too late to join? “ No... it is designed for all levels. We Remember, Apollo Video Store x Newsagent never too late to join. As are presently working on the you can dance! Hairtec MACSimum Effort For Charity The Choice Experience

nogging Contests and Luke Hickey (voted nterested in tasting the real Friday 5th February TB11. A Slave Auctions are just Departmental Sports Rep Of world this summer? The Choice representative will be Stwo of many raucous The Year) and Liz Finigan IChoice Experience is offer- delivering 2 unmissable semi- events which took place in the compered the evening of ing you an opportunity to visit nars 12.30 - 13.30 and 17.30 - Hall Bar last week. Snogging, Sexual Press Ups, a range of countries at a sub- 18.30. The newly revived Maths And Kareoke, Blind Date, Slave sidised rate, we enable students Computing Society (MACS) Auctions and Raffles. Prizes to partake in a variety of pro- For more information and a held it's first major social event were donated by lecturers and jects. How about teaching in taste of the real world contact last Thursday. It was a roaring Athena. All the usual suspects Peru?, constructing in Nigeria The Choice Experience on success in more ways than one. took part, notably Steven or running sports camps in 0181 900 0770, York house, Over 80 Maths and C&IT stu- Longhurst, Adam King, Nick Belize? Choice is offering you Wembley, Middlesex, HA9 the unique opportunity of OBR. This summers experi- becoming deeply part of often ence are taking place in inaccessible communities. Thailand, Mongolia, Peru, Taste the real world. Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Nigeria, Belize, Barbados, Come and find out more on Prague and India.

dents turned up, some bringing Hubbard and Sarah Gosmark, their partners for the night of Ms Finigan also provided her Talent Competition fun. A few lecturers also lent usual unprintable controversy, their support…mostly to the bar. while always promoting her his semester USSU Ents Tuesday 9th March, Tuesday The night was organ- good cause…and the charity and Unplugged will 16th March, and Thursday 18th ised in aid of the National element too. once again be hosting March. The final will be an all- Kidney Research Fund. Craig At the end MACS T the annual talent competition. day event in the Union on Clarke, a 2nd year maths stu- President Alex Glaser, who had If you already know what its all Sunday 21st March. Each heat dent has had to go to hospital done much of the behind the about, then go ahead and fill winner voted for by that nights for dialysis three time a week scenes preparation work gave a out the entry form. If this is all audience will receive the door since birth. Last October he was speech. He thanked all the new to you, then read on. takings. The grand Final first whisked away for a 3rd attempt MACS committee and Prize is £100 + a whole lot at a kidney transplant. Although announced that the charity pro- The talent competition is open more. the operation didn't go well ini- ceeds totalled over £215. to anybody who feels they have Entry forms available in last tially, Craig is now recovering For more details and talent! The competition is not weeks paper or in the at home. It is still early days but revealing pictures of the just for bands, but for anybody Unplugged pigeon hole. hopefully the transplant will be evening, check out the MACS who can get on stage and enter- For rules and more information successful. MACS wanted to website: http://www.mcs.sur- tain. In the past we have had check out last weeks paper on do their bit to help one of their rey.ac.uk/Student/MACS/ dancers, comedians, comedy the barefacts web site or con- own, so the whole night was music acts, and others. The tact Gav at geared to fund raising. James Buller heats are in the main union on [email protected]. ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 4 (1,1)

4 Thursday 4th February 1999 n

CHANCELLORS REFURBISHMENT History Last semester we invited sever- Now! tioned, the toilets and services the project are: al companies with experience will move, the main entrance Design Architect: James Pye Questions? Almost 2 years ago the So what now?...... in Student Union projects to will be through revolving doors (Johnson Gillies, Tel:.0171 377 So what else to you want to University commissioned a Well, Chancellors as you know present ideas for a “New off the patio, there will be new 6247) know??? consultant to review the current it will close for service on the Chancellors”. Many issues seating , and....it will certainly Architect Duncan Holland () The most frequently asked Q’s Catering services offered on the Friday before the Easter needed to be addressed- new be a different atmosphere!!! Project Manager are: Campus. The results led to both Vacation (26/3/99), and is due bar and cellar services, better Jo Reay-Child ( Food & What food are you going to the Universtiy and USSU car- to reopen 10th May 1999. seating , improved air condi- See the display in Chancellors Beverage Dept USSU extn serve? Good quality bar rying out research including During that time the existing tioning, improved access for Foyer, and if you need more 9986) snacks with wide price range student focus groups. The con- bar and cellar will be reposi- the services back of house, etc. information then key people on available most of the day clusions from the report sug- Eventually, last November we What times will it be open? gested that the existing appointed a firm of architects Initially from 8am through to “Chancellors Bar & who we felt offered the best 9pm for food and from 11am- Restaurant” should look at design for our “New 11pm for bar service repositioning itself in the mar- Chancellors”. Will it be open for Brekkie? ket place. Yes, offering a continental breakfast With this in mind the Currently Who will work there? Sabbaticals and Permanent Since November we have been As presently a mix of perma- staff recognised the need rede- working with the architects to nent staff supplemented with velop the Chancellors concept. establish the final structural student staff The removal of the existing drawings for Chancellors. We Can we smoke? Table D’hôte service at lunch have also been working There will be areas to smoke, time, the increase of students towards redeveloping the exist- and areas that are non-smoking through the EIHMS develop- ing kitchen layout, and other Can we just have a beer with ment and the advent of services behind the scenes. our mates? Yes! You increased competition from the Issues such as whether we can can have a beer, a coffee, order high street led to a decision, to have a gas supply in the a snack or have a main meal not only refurbish but to signif- kitchen? and Is it possible to Will the name stay the same? icantly redevelop the current replace the existing steps from Yes! From the results of the service offered to the student the bar into the back of house Student focus groups there was membership and university with a ramp? have been hotly a unanimous vote to keep the staff. considered!!! Chancellors name

Green Soc It’s It’s It’s Silly Night Skills Development Programme reen Soc is up and running Coming up soon.... this semester and going from elcome back Week 5 (17th Feb): Week 9 (17th March): Righting a Report (Tuesday This session looks at the art strength to strength. We’re G to Uni, I hope Politicians and Bimbos. Karaoke. Or Kareoke. 9 February 3pm - 5pm in of persuasion and is aimed organising a big recycling campaign, Wyou had a All Sabbatical Nominees Carry-okay? Who the Grant Mitchell Room) at those looking to improve raising awareness about issues that are good Christmas Break, must come dressed to knows. But we hope to their meeting skills or liaise important and easily achievable, and and the like. Okay, don't impress, with a rosette have a wide variety of This workshop looks at the closely with other organisa- forging links with the local communi- tell me now, I'm not lis- and a bimbo or two on styles for you to choose area of report writing within tions such as the University ty. tening. their arm. Everyone from. As long as we get an academic setting. or businesses. It will be par- must lie. Loud-hailers "I'm Too Sexy", I'll be Participants will have the ticularly useful to those We’re also planning a green week for Anyhow, there are only may be available. happy. opportunity to receive person- wanting to take a more later on in the semester, and organis- three silly nights left al feedback on reports they active role within the Union ing the odd social event or several... before the Easter break, Week 7 (3rd March): It's That's all. Some of these have written or about to write. or wanting to learn tech- We’re always on the look out for peo- and we've got them all Lisa's 21st Birthday, but are suggestions written This session is led by Penny niques for a future business ple who are interested in all things planned, but unfortu- I can't remember what in our suggestions books Burden, Skills Development career. This will be led by green (be that trees, planets or Hooch nately, after we decided we were going to do, it's at both Hari's and Union Project Manager. Sharon Baker, former bottles). what we wanted to do, I also international week, bars, if you get a flash Negotiation Skills Students’ Union President had a few cold drinks, so we might do some- of inspiration, ask for the (Wednesday 17 February and now working for If you’re interested in making new and have now forgotten thing relevant. Or not. book, and write it down. between 4pm and 6pm) Media-Matters. friends, getting something interesting one of them. It may have Maybe Rubber Glove Or you could email us and worthwhile in you CV, and having had something to do Night? (Oh, that was on [email protected]. yet another excuse to go out drinking, with pets. Or possibly Friday, wasn't it?) Try to join-in if you can, come along to Lecture Theatre J on feminine hygiene. I'll 'cos it makes the night so Tuesdays at 6.30, or email Vicki have to get Back to you much better if people (ph71vb) or Claire (sc51ch). See you when I can remember. make the effort!Enjoy!. there! FREE CONDOMS inc: Gay Friendly

FREE From the lecutre Sanitary Products theatres go up these stairs... The University conference office requires student help during the Easter vacation. FREE The work will be varied and involve dealing Uni, Local with conference delegates and helping to + National ensure events run smoothly. Information Application forms and job descriptions are ....turn left at the top available from the Conference Office £1: Attack Alarms (Philip Marchant Building) CLOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS:- Nightliine: NIGHTLINE - WHAT, Friday 12 February 1999 Int 4949 £3.50 per hour, WHERE & HOW Ext 01483 532 710 Ring the office door bell Plus FREE campus accomodation ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 5 (1,1)

Thursday 4th February 1999 n Live Music 5

Mark: Six out of Six Mansun Guildford Civic Hall 20/01/99 Mansun are a proper rock band. One the last throes of Britpop and sur- erence point in progressive experi- of the best moments are in the crazed with vision and intelligence. And passed it with a flourish of dignity mentation is perhaps not the point twist of 'Being A Girl' and the upbeat one that takes risk. They emerged in and grace. A string of consistently now. But for now the hazy lighting pop of 'Negative'. And you notice superb singles released for 'Negative' and Draper's irrepress- that with the older songs mixed in with songs finer than ible hip movements introduce us to with the newer songs, the Mansun most bands crowning the cancerous, serotonin, shotgun blueprint of Six was not moments, yet songs fail- appeal of Mansun. uninevitable, perhaps even ing to see the light of day Well, the songs are not edited so you inescapable. The stop start and fus- on the debut album. get the full epochal outpourings. An ing of the portions of tonight's care- Some time off and a few act liable to interpretations of dull free 'Taxloss' and its swirling end are new guitar effects pedals self-indulgence that in reality, with like a mycrocosm of the movements can do strange things to occassional exception, is a delight. of Six. '...Grey Lantern' was perhaps people from Chester. For Sometimes where there should be a the wide open space in the context of example the offering of flourish (Television) there is a sim- Hyde Park to the Lake District-esque an overblown, ambitious per, and you urge Draper on to pick freedom and scope of 'Six'. Tonight collation of musical snip- up his guitar. Perhaps to fill out the was either stunning or ordinary. The pets patched semi-ran- sound but more because when he work of pioneering mavericks or that domly into millenial does, you think they'll be the sharp of those retreading the worst of sounding missives as focussed intonation of the likes of lengthy interludes and decade endur- some trade off for a sec- 'Stripper Vicar' (tonight straining to ing songs of prog rock. Clearly it ond album of voltile crit- free itself into some more raucous, was the former - how else would you ical credentials. ragged religious scandal) and 'She explain the rush of 'Take It Easy, The fact that this offer- Makes My Nose Bleed' (chunky and Chicken' that wraps dealings up for ing, Six was pure genius forthright). now. and that in a decade or But you listen and think. And if you two will be taken as a ref- think enough, you realise that many Daniel Jones Very Molecular @tomika Aldershot West End Centre 22/01/99 Sometimes you need a second as much as they fuzz and the bass chance in life. Like Grant Mitchell in echoes, engraving it's own melody Eastenders - all those second within the soundscape. Indeed, chances with Tiff. And like the pre- 'Uncomfortably Numb' opens with a viously monikered Caged, who fell classic Smiths jingle jangle before collapsed in their own lack of ambi- cranking it up with controlled anban- tion. But unlike Grant, @tomika don. probably won't sleep with their fans' 'Wiser' could well be their master- mother's. piece. Or it might not. Either way, it Old favourite, 'Ghosts' opens. It's a is the archetypal finely crafted song classic lesson in pop. You see, with perhaps a hundred hook laden @tomika seem like a raucous care- melodies working in unison. Current free grunge rock metal affair. But, single 'Dead Flowers', a little rushed you listen and whilst they're loud and is slipped in amid the action along that they've got most of what they Pumpkins, 'Gish' era uninhibited Gareth's vocals are energetic and with the corny but nonetheless epic had before, but with a little more rock of 'Sheep'. The wide legged fuelled - like the best vitriolic out- 'Third Star From The Right'. This impetus this time. The encore con- pose. The look in the eyes. burst of Grant when he used to get hasn't been their most convincing sists of the pure Smashing Daniel Jones into tiffs with Tiff - the guitars chime performance, yet its enough of a sign

Thurs 4th: Limehouse Lizzy (Thin Lizzy Tribute) @ Reading Alleycat Fri 5th: Lemonincest / Son Fariq @ Reading Alleycat Go Sat 6th: Phoenix / Pinnacle / Honeytoe @ Reading Alleycat Atomica / Spotless / Viz The Spoon @ Woking ICBC Sun 7th: One Minute Silence / Pulkas / Liberty 37 @ Reading Alleycat Mon 8th: Thermonic @ London Camden Monarch Silverchair / Nojahoda / Cay @ London Electric Ballroom See Rachel Stamp @ Aldershot West End Centre Tues 9th: Dot Allison @ London Kings X Waterats Nimbus @ London Islington Redeye Wed 10th: Stay @ Home Thurs 11th: Rising Star / Hypertherma / Stony Sleep @ Reading Alleycat Live! Fri 12th: Jabba / Born Idol / DBU @ Reading Alleycat ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 6 (1,1)

6 Music Thursday 4th February 1999

A stoned chunder in the rock from a style of the Super Furry little known SINGLE OF THE WEEK SINGLES Animals. The press release band that MANSUN - Six CARSON - Up and Down claims that Midget have should hope- (EMI) (Warners) IDLEWILD-When I given up on pop and are now fully bring us Sounding very much A support slot on a Natalie Argue I See Shapes(Food) doing their own thing. much more like Mansun, Six is an Imbruglia tour doesn’t real- The fourth track to be taken Thankfully this doesn’t in the future. emotional appraisal of extend to the b-sides, which Includes ly do much for your credi- from the debut album (and futility (‘Life is a com- are chirpy as ever and make another 3 bility status, but all is not one of the finest). It’s been promise, anyway’) - lost. A glorious guitar riff slightly redone, but it has it an overall enjoyable lis- diverse tening experience. Even if tracks, lyrically elegant and and a simple, but “catchy” only been improved. affecting and as ever, chorus show a glimmer of Potentially their most suc- they are a bit Status Quo. ‘Something knowing. . The Baker possible future success. cessful single, it’s catchy in 7/10 A.T. More’, Lyrical content isn’t exactly all the right places. 7/10 ‘Watercress’ Mix, a little more “Thom Yorke”, but this is M.A. LITTLE MOTHERS - and ‘They punctual in texture and still a rousing tune with a Your Twisted Sister Tell Me’. radio friendly, does lit- very high feel-good factor. MIDGET - Artwork [by g (Island) Check it out. tle to deplete the feel- 8/10 A.S beasley] (Curveball) Unexpectedly good mellow 7/10 M.D. ing. 8/10 D.J.

LUCIANO - Sweep over soul will probably suffice to this was a real attempt at my soul (Jetstar) please. Unfortunatly, if this finding as many crappy ALBUMS Apparently, Luciano is the is the way for reggae to be songs with the exact same present day king of Reggae. dragged kicking and beat and putting them all PLANET ELECTRICA from individual artists. So But, in these days of crass This would most definately screaming back into the together with the minimum Protection (ELF) its yeah “Ive got an indie commercialism, the band reflect the sorry state of pre- hearts and minds of all of us, amount of mixing effort A brand new compliation album”(shine), “Im really whose last album ‘Envy Of sent day reggae. For those of it will be safe to assume that required. Even a monkey for everybody’s wonderful cool, I’ve got a laid-back Angels’ spawned the singles us whose Reggae experi- Reggae shall remain could mix this lot. They are ears and it’s just not for dance album” (Chill Out ‘She’s Been Talking’ and, ence is ‘limited’ to Bob AWOL. 3/10 G.N. not all crap tracks, there are those tweaked up dishes, Room). In which case we the outstanding, ‘Come Marley, UB40 and Finley 3 (in 37) good songs which theres a serious side to it as should avoid sad people Around’, find themselves Quaye, Luciano is a very include Buena Vida, The well. Yep, another relief CD, who buy albums like this. out on their ears but with the hard kick to the head. Secret Wish and The but now for the people of 7/10 R.G. freedom to experiment a Luciano’s themes include Silence, but that is about the Central America. And what touch more. The resulting deep spiritualality and sin- only good thing in it and a CD it is, elements from SMOG - Knock Knock LP is not quite on the same cerity which convey with frankly, that’s not enough. A Massive Attack, Chemical (Domino) level as its predecessor how- his unfaltering belief in JUDGE JULES - sourly poor, 2/10 M.D. Brothers, U2, Underworld This album is apparently ever, with the hooks a little Jah.Altogether a very differ- Clubber’s Guide to Ninety and many more. Eclectic uplifting according to the less warming and the overall This weeks reviews by: ent world from Red Red Nine (Ministry of Sound) Andrew Smith, Matthew styles come crashing togeth- press release, also It says approach a touch more som- Wine and the rest of popular What a disappointment this Anderson, Andrew Thomas, er to form a monostrous ‘Gone is the mournful musi- bre. That said, those trade- Reggae. Ultimately, if you is. I don’t know weather the Daniel Jones, Mario Dias, Kevin form of enjoyment. Personal cal introspection’. However mark melodies and har- find that ‘Ulterior Motive’ Judge was in a hurry; so he Marston, Rodney Gambora, Ian favourites are ‘Lost in the not having heard the previ- monies do crop up from Purvey, James Hemingway, (a ‘hit’ anthem) is your cup just got any tracks and put Rob Winder, and Gareth Nolan. K-Hole’ by Chemical ous releases I can not com- time to time, particularly on of tea then Sweep over my them together, or weather Brothers and ‘The Bug’ by pare, however uplifting def- a couple of starlets, the sin- Face On Mars. A wicked yet initely isn’t a word I’d use to gle ‘Pulled Along By Love’ ALBUM OF THE WEEK troubling little number. 8/10 describe it. Another shudder and ‘The Falls’, complete K.M worthy thing about the press with a horn part reminiscent release is that Bill Callahan of the Beach Boys’ classic V/A - The Chill Out Room (Smog) says ‘I was trying to ‘God Only Knows’. ‘Envy’ (Columbia) make an album for was always going to hard to Normally compilation teenagers’. The album itself follow, but this is a good albums are just blatant mar- is a decidedly lo-fi affair, in shot at it. 7/10 keting scams, putting a mis- a minimalist vein on a lot of J.R.H. match of second rate tracks songs. However every now on an overpriced CD. This and again it comes up with ANI DIFRANCO - Up Up one does at least seems some more backing for the Up Up Up Up (Cooking more considered and lyrics and is quite beautiful. Vinyl) informed. Not least from the The mainstay of this album Barely a year on from ‘Little artists chosen but also is the lyrics which are of Plastic Castle’ the ever pro- because album tracks are high quality and delivered lific Ani DiFranco delivers chosen instead of choosing well. It comes somewhere another collection of her the easy option of just using between Eels and fun, quirky and slightly singles. Obviously this Tindersticks but more mini- bizarre folk pop. ‘Up Up Up album was designed with a mal. It has a truly great song Up Up Up’ certainly sounds specific context in-mind, title of ‘Hit The Ground like the most band-oriented and luckily I was able to Running’. However whilst record she has recorded, and sample the CD in the right the album is occasionally as such the usual DiFranco mood, and it was a perfect dull, its strong vocals pull it touches seem to be hidden a background to the evening. though amicably. 7/10 I.P. little. A minor quibble. Ani 3 COLOURS RED - Revolt (Creation) they follow this with the spacey rock of David Homes track ‘don’t once again uses her songs to F*ck Yes! This is more like it. On their sec- ‘Pirouette’ and then their should-have- die just yet’ is a soulful, THE MUTTON BIRDS - tell stories, the destruction ond album 3 Colours Red achieve every- been-a-much-bigger-hit-than-it-was single stingsnbeats take miles Rain, Steam & Speed of a town in ‘Trickledown’ thing their overly hyped debut album ‘Beautiful Day’, a sublime power ballad ahead of anyone else in con- (Shhhh!) or of society in ‘’Tis Of should have done. Where the songs on they are rightly proud of. While ‘Pure’ was temporary dance. There are New Zealand’s finest since Thee’, the arrangements and ‘Pure’, which we had grown to love a little one-dimensional ‘Revolt’ flexes popular singles from Crowded House return with her words draw you in. The through two years of incendiary live shows, through a range of styles, the most surpris- Sneeker pimps, Leftfield their fourth album, after final track, thirteen minutes had the passion dragged out of them by the ing being the Soundgarden sounding psy- and Morcheeba, and an being unceremoniously plus of ‘Hat Shaped Hat’ is lame production and leaving the feeling chedelia of ‘Paranoid People’, and Pete Echo dek version of Primal dropped by Virgin. My, how something of a departure, that the record was not quite complete. Vuckovic’s has matured into a thoroughly screams star. The tracks that label has changed since the folk is replaced by a ‘Revolt’ is a whole different matter, and versatile instrument. Guitarist Chris towards the end only make the days of the great Richard fluid funk bassline and a sounds smart as hell. All the songs are new, McCormack told me last year that ‘Revolt’ sense when your stoned oth- Branson; time was when soulful swing. ‘Up Up Up studio workings, with a fantastic spacious was “a massive leap forward” for 3 Colours erwise they seem a bit artists would be allowed to Up Up Up’ shows that Ani and bright production courtesy of Dave Red and that he “couldn’t be happier” with bland. But overall its alright, develop their own, even if is still ascending. 7/10 R.W. Eringa (famed for his work with the the outcome . He was right, ‘Revolt’ joins but this sort of thing would unfashionable, style and Manics). The riff heavy ‘Paralyse’ kick the an ever growing list of great albums only be bought by people fanbase without being proceedings off, but while you may expect already released in ‘99. too tight to purchse albums hounded for number ones. 3 Colours Red to keep their foot on the gas, 9/10 R.W. ed990204.qxd 03/02/9915:49Page7(1,1)

Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 13th 12th 11th 10th 9th 8th 7th 6th 5th Thursday 28thJanuary1999 COMPETITION DJ Quik-HRB Swing City POOL 7PM headlights. Unlucky Object;Setof do it). (one dayoff aweekshould down ontripstothepub recouperate, bycutting pletely rundown.Try to road killthisweek-com- You’re feelingalittlelike 21at March-20thApril kipper. Unlucky Object;Smoking revealed. patient andallwillbe really mattertoyou.Be ings hiddeninthosewho interprate thoughtsandfeel- You’re findingitdifficult to Something fishy’s goingon. 20th February-20thMarch board game unlucky object;Scrabble what makesyouhappy. from othersandtrytodo Eastenders. Ignorepressure a cupofcoccoaand who liketosnuggleupwith sociable friendsandthose at themomentbetween You’re stuckinthemiddle 21st January-19thFebuary sun-thurs 11.00 notsun,12.1513.3015.0016.00 sun-thurs 12.30(exceptsun)15.3017.5020.20 fri-sat 12.30notsat,15.0017.3020.0022.10 AQUARIUS fri-sat 10.45notfri,12.0013.1014.3015.35 n sun-thurs 13.00(notsun)15.3018.0021.00 sun-thurs 12.05notsun,14.4517.3020.30 fri-sat 12.45notsat,15.30,18.3021.30 PISCES fri -sat13.30notsat16.0018.4521.05 ARIES Fri Jan29th-ThursFeb4th1999 sun-thurs 13.1015.4518.1520.45 sun-thurs 12.1016.3018.4521.00 sun-thurs 12.0514.5017.4020.30 fri-sat 14.0016.3019.1521.50 fri-sat 14.1016.3019.1521.45 fri-sat 12.1515.1018.3021.20 WWW.ODEON.CO.UK 17.30 18.3020.0021.00 17.00 18.0019.3020.20 Star Trek: Insurrection sun-thurs 14.4520.00 sun-thurs 12.1517.35 Lunar LisaandMysticMoonda sat 12.00,sun12.30 Shakespeare inLove The PrinceofEgypt 0870 5050007 The MaskofZorro Enemy oftheState fri-sat 16.0022.00 fri-sat 13.0019.30 Very BadThings Practical Magic sat &sun12.00 Hideous Kinky A Bug’s Life Cineline Little Voice The Seige sun 13.00 Stepmom sat 13.30 Unlucky object;Raincloud. during aleapyear.... pm, inthenorthofWales, mer’s dayatroughly....3:31 heather onawarmsum- terns! Thinkaboutfieldsof interrupt yourdrinkingpat- this weekotherwiseyou’ll Don’t becometoostressed 22nd June-23rdJuly weekend ticketstoBognor. Unlucky Object;Two free has CillaBlackmade?! many successfulmatches instincts. Afterall,how interests. Trust yourown they areactinginyourbest This weekfriendswillthink 22nd May-21stJune of boots. Unlucky Objects;Oddpair boots. maybe justanicepairof spanking newwardrobe,or the occasion-abrand to somethingnewmark life. Whynottreatyourself There’s anewdawninyour 21st April-21stMay CANCER TAURUS GEMINI collection Unlucky object;Stamp time atFridayNightOut. a soberpersonhavinggood new hobbysuchasspotting the TV...honest!). You needa trical applicances(wemean much timealonewithelec- You’ve beenspendingtoo 24th September-23rdOctober The Drink. Unlucky objects;Tickets to to Cindy’s -enjoy..... lashes andmakeyourway stockings. Flutterthoseeye- borrow aLeo’s fishnet your life.Askifyoucan on themundaneprioritiesin You’ve beenconcentrating 24th August-23rdSeptember Unlucky Object;Aladder. granny’s thickwoolies. stockings andwhipout to hangupthosefishnet the starslastweek.It’s time away! You didn’t listento Miaow...put thoseclaws 21st July-23rdAugust Union reception. also availablefromthe the film.Guestticketsare room atleastanhourbefore ticket intheUnionpost able at2.50byfillingina for indidualfilmsareavail- Alternatively, guesttickets (fifteen intotal!). Cinema filmsthisseason see alltheOFUandArts gain priceof7.50letsyou A seasonticketatthebar- this greatactionadventure? How doyougetaticketfor his handtothebigscreen... Ross from“Friends”)turn David Schwimmer(drippy pirates. We alsogettosee and tooutrunashiploadof uneasy alliancetosurvive are forcedtostrikeupan unknown island.Thetwo plane crashesonan to Tahiti butenroutethe (Harrison Ford)totakeher small planeandpilot her fiance.Shechartersa from herislandholidaywith called awayonbusiness Robin (AnneHeche)is Nights: Sunday, 8pm, Six Days,Seven VIRGO LIBRA LEO LTG Entertainments Guide7 O FU evil sock. Unlucky object;Acunning mitments. deadlines andsocialcom- matters suchascoursework now sortoutmorepressing out yourpersonalhygienne- Thank goodnessyousorted 22nd December-20thJanuary fairy. Unlucky object;Thecarrot be neededinthefuture. wardrobe?! Morecarewill mate partsofyour did youleavethemostinti- question cropsup...where animal lastweek,butone the mostofbeingaparty You werecertainlymaking December 23rd November-21st Insane impressionist Unlucky object;ASaddam achieve awar-freezone. a littleharderthistimeto ter thanlastweek.Pleasetry domestic situationisnobet- Oops, ourmistake,your head andopenyoureyes. Take thatsaucepanoff your 24th October-22ndNovember tickets 2.00) the OFUfilm(butguest fans. Ticket detailsasfor A must-seeforallPython prevalent intheirTVseries. the overallsenseoffun tives) andwithit,areturnto straightforward linearnarra- and LifeofBrian,were previous films,HolyGrail to aseriesofsketches(their return forthePythonteam hilarious, thisfilmmarkeda completely sick,butalways At timessurreal,atothers and Catholics. through toschoolteachers from warandobesepeople, behaviour andstereotypes: ways tomockhuman more outrageousthanusual dream upnewandeven The MontyPythonteam ments frombirthtodeath. ly celebratedinseveninstal- Life, wherelifeistasteless- Python’s TheMeaningof is theclassicMonty The nextArtsCinemafilm Monty Python’s The Wednesday, 8pm, Meaning ofLife: SAGITTAURUS CAPRICORN SCORPIO LTG ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 8 (1,1)

8 Notices Thursday 28th January 1999 n

GCR Playlist Notices

GUILDFORD CAMPUS RADIO Electrical Engineering S.I.S Event 6:00pm Grant Mitchell Room in the Students’ Union 1602AM (EESoc.) AGM 09/02/99 Hewlett Packard WANTED! 9th February 1999 Tuesday STUDENT RADIO TOP THIRTY Title: Leadership, Teamwork & Cheerleaders for the Surrey 17.30pm Departmental Common Working Abroad Stingers American Football team. Extreme Sports Room Time: 7pm Venue: LTE You don't have to be able to dance, Parachute course for static line 1) Assorted - Chill Out Room FREE FOOD just willing to have a laugh and jump- late feb/early marchcost ALBUM OF THE WEEK yell a bit. Leave your name and Motor Club AGM - approx. £80 Interested please con- 2) Assorted - Planet Electrica ‘PROTEC- number in the team's pigeon hole Tuesday 9th February 199 19.30 ABANDONED CYCLE tact Tony at php1ae TION’ - Charity compilation for Hurricane LTB (marking it "cheerleaders") or e- SALE mail us at nm81gh. Appeal. The Security Department have The ArabSoc 3) Offspring - Pretty Fly (for a white guy) Jumble Sale currently in storage a quantity 4) Stereophonics - Just Looking International Societies welcomes you to the Arabic night There will be a sale of unclaimed of cycles which have been on thursday 11/02/99 in the Helyn 5) Skunk Anansie - Charlie Big Potato Standing Meeting lost property on Thurs 11th Feb, abandoned on Campus. These Rose Bar at 9pm. Wednesday 10th February 1999 6) 3 Colours Red - Revolt - ALBUM 11am - 2pm on the Union dance cycles will be sold on Monday Tickets £3 floor. Loads of books, clothes, 7) Placebo - Every You Every Me 8th February and all monies 8) Ruth - Waiting for this umbrellas and jewellery up for grabs. Proceeds to Jeans for Genes received from this sale will be 9) Unkle feat. Ian Brown - Be There donated to the Student 10) The Divine Comedy - National Express who help children with genetic STEP disorders. Hardship Fund. 11) Mercury Rev - Delta Sun DETAILS OF THE SALE : University of Surrey 12) Propellerheads - EP Cycles for Sale available for Skills Through Experience Programme 13) Witness - Scars NEW MARKET viewing, Senate Car-Park. NOWADAYS EMPLOYERS WANT MORE 14) Kula Shaker - Mystical Machine Gun STALLS Monday 1st to Friday 5th 15) Bonnie Prince Billy - I See a Darkness - Every Tuesday - Stall selling February 99. Offers made THAN JUST A DEGREE... ALBUM cheap good quality cards, gift through a sealed bid to the Mr J. Apply Your Knowledge wrap, notelets etc. 16) Fatboy Slim - Praise You Moir in the Security Department Weekly markets are held in the Gain Some Practical Experience Which Complements 17) Sleater Kinney - A Quarter to Three before 1700hrs Friday 5th 18) The Lanterns - High-rise Town Union building on Mon, Tues, Your Course Of Study Thurs, Fri. February 99. New owners 19) Cassius - 1999 - ALBUM informed of their successful bid, Improve Your CV 20) Blackout - Gotta Have Hope Monday 8th February 99. 21) Travis - Writing To Reach You Windsurfing Starts Develop Your Skills 22) River - Setting Sun Again Meet New People 23) Dope on Plastic 6 - ALBUM For all those who have been before Swimmers!! 24) Bis - Action and Drama or those wanting to learn the firs WE CAN MATCH YOU UP WITH A PLACEMENT THAT There will no swimming at the 25) Desert Eagle Discs - The Eagle Has meeting is this Friday (5th Feb) Spectrum on the following dates: WILL INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING A Time: 1pm Place: Upstairs in the Landed - ALBUM 8th February, 1st March, 22nd GOOD JOB AND YOU’LL ONLY HAVE TO GIVE UP AN Union Tequila Night the same fri- 26) McAlmont - A Little Communication march HOUR OR TWO PER WEEK. day. Details given at the meeting. 27) The Cardigans - Erase Rewind After Easter: 26th April, 17th May For anyone who cannot make the Everyone who completes 10 weeks of a placement will 28) Nojahoda - Nojahoda We apologise for any inconve- meeting please phone receive a certificate which lists the skills developed 29) Underworld - King of Snake nience caused by these arrange- James x 4723 through participation in the scheme. 30) Mirrorball - Given Up Rae & Christian - ments. Heidi x 4739 Contact Hannah Picken on 01483 259393 ext:4913 or All I Ask Womens Waterpolo. e-mail ms51hp for more information. ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 9 (1,1)

n Thursday 28th January 1999 Opportunities 9

Crossword No 92 Dr Russ Personals

Dear Russ thing like “It was once said ■ The Fool is back... ■ Hello Al,Cheer up!-The that ...... ” or “It is not com- ■ Dave C 4 Jill from Music Bringer Of Good News. I’ve been told that some monly known that.....” as a ■ Go on Dave ■ Hello Fox, I think you are employers ask you to give slightly more unusual way ■ Kiss my sweet potato pie great!-TBOGN a presentation as part of of introducing your subject. ■ Kiss my rosy red ass ■ Library Restaurant on a sat- their selection procedure. A powerful opening sen- ■ R.B.D - Wed? Yes. Bo’s? urday-love the ginger Have you got any advice in tence is a great confidence Yes. S.O.S? Oh Yeah! one(blonde?) ■ Desperate D Strikes Again. ■ Ziggy has an ickle pecker case I’m asked to do one? booster and will help you ■ Michelle-need any new bat- ■ SKI OR DIE!!!!!!!! get into stride for the rest of teries yet? ■ No really, I love Pernod... Dear Christian your talk. Your finish ■ Rent Boy D - How’s the ■ Anyone seen a Smurf hang- should be equally impres- Turkish bath? ing around Twyford? Perhaps I could start by sive because that will leave ■ " Hea-ther!! Happy birth- ■ Cor... that roast, shame about explaining why employers the examiners with a posi- day!! ..and a happy new year!" the windy effects afrterwards use this exercise. The key tive opinion about you. ■ Mark-where are your Scotch though. things which they are look- eggs? I haven’t seen them in ■ God damn Sam it jam ■ ing for are clarity of expres- Try to practise your talk in ages. On the piste: “Ooh ■ Emma - we swear, you hello...... click, click, splat!” sion, good time-keeping, advance if you can. Get a haven’t got CJD, I’m sure ■ Off piste: what happened to effective organisation of friend to listen and tell you there’s another cause for your our french friends - No shirt, your material, and self-con- how you are coming across. throat infections!! feeler and body guard. fidence. If they can also Work hard to get the talk ■ Brown haired pinstripe ■ At least we didn’t fall for Across: Down: obtain some evidence that into the time you’ve been trouser girl whom I danced that old line “Trust me i’m a 1. Desert Animal (5) 1. Orange-pink colour (5) you have a sense of humour allowed. You will probably with on fri by speakers nr doctor” !! 4. Acting strongly (7) 2. Huge unnatural creature then that’s a bonus! be penalised if you don’t - Hari’s bar. Je t’aime! ■ What’s white, goes BAA and 8. Bitterness (7) (7) or you might even be cut off ■ Pinstripe trouser girl be floats down the river? ■ 9. To exercise (6) 3. To seem (4) You are usually told in in mid-sentence. Highly dancing midnight same place Sheep for sale (when bird this friday. From green gets better), one carefull 10. Old stringed instrument 4. To trace descent (6) advance what you will be embarrassing! (4) 5. Minor planet (8) chequed shirt man. owner! required to talk about. It 11. On the other side of the 6. Vestige (5) ■ Who do you prefer, Daddy ■ Heather, Have a Luminous sheet (8) 7. A pine, for example (7) could be on a subject of Finally, when you get or chips? Yellow 21st Birthday! 13. Wild excitement (6) 12. Uncomplimentary your choice, or maybe a around to delivering the real ■ Happy 21st Birthday ■ Tax rebate or a nice salmon? 14. Smoked fish (6) remark (8) leisure interest or it could be thing - remember to project Heather the Feather! ■ Wall missing several bricks, 17. Renounce the throne 13. Frenzied (7) related to the job you’re your voice so that everyone ■ Thanks to all the footie lads please return. The builders (8) 15. To forebode (7) applying for. If you have can hear and try to make eye who came allong to support ■ Pickard 3, the war of the 19. Spoken (4) 16. He keeps the furnace time, you can write out the contact with each person in Reverend Brown on the dishes is on. ■ 22. Beat strongly (5) supplied (6) whole thing beforehand but the room at some stage dur- 19th....nice one! Fraggle, did you manage to ■ Er... oh yes thanks to every- satisfy your new found friend? 23. Dishonesty (7) 18. Mournful song (5) it’s not a good idea to read it ing your talk. That will 24. Originator (7) 20. Stratum (5) one else who came along too ■ Come marvel at the amazing out word for word on the make them feel personally 25. Direction-finding appa- 21. Just (4) ■ When can we see Reverend west country Pig Boy in the ratus (5) day. Far better to write the involved and they will be all Brown again? The dogs dan- Physics dept. now! key points on a series of the more appreciative. gly bits! - I think so! ■ Andy was just a normal stu- Last Weeks Solution: Down: 1.heed 2.warning numbered index cards. As ■ MARY HOLD THE CAN- dent untill he ate the Tesco Across: 1. Hawthorn 3.harem 4.retort 6.tiler you come to each point dur- As ever, remember that a DLE WHILE I SHAVE THE value pork.. 5.stow 8.error 10.toddler 7.worthier 8.editor ing your talk it will remind presentation usually forms CHICKENS LIP -Rich ■ And now Pig boy will roam 11.simmer 12. Torch 14. 13.schrapnel 15.leaden you what to say. just part of the assessment. ■ Heath, are you having 21 the union forever. Will Ewe be Haggle 16. Drudge 17.distant 18.setter If it goes badly, try to put it Piercings to celebrate?-Z his next victim? (after Nula) ■ Nina and Glynis, our second ■ Heens (Little Miss Kinky) 19.alpha 21.excise 20.pagon 22.caged 23.bear The beginning and end of behind you and throw your- 24.neglect 25.graze 26.link Compiled by Jeff mum’s- you are the best clean- Hope you don’t have a bolloxy 27.predator Blackham your talk are the crucial self into the next activity. ers ever and weall think you are shit birthday..plum breath! parts. Try to grab their Employers seldom fail can- great. Welcome back love Love, Nish xxxx RUPERT AND LLOYD´S attention with something didates on the basis of one eveyone in house 66. ■ Heena J. is officially different from the usual “I’d poor performance. ■ Marigolds thankyou for old!!!!!!!! .... but still kinky! AGONY COLUMN like to talk to you about Russ Clark everyting, you are my lucky From, LMR ...... ”. Why not try some- Careers Service star, my saviour and Ilove you. ■ I am too Feeble ■What time is our lecture with here are many things in The nature and intensity of Freud Charlie? life which one may find which confront us on a daily Thard to talk about. basis. Posh Spice and Beckham Death, taxes, financial prob- have indeed become one...but lems, exam performance, for many of us this fairy-tale insomnia, hernias, haemmor- notion of sexual Nirvana rhoids, onanism, constipation, seems unattainable. How masturbation, religion, politics, many of you young lads in premature ejaculation or public Physics and Civ Eng. have not lice, to name but a few. suffered a broken heart over a Featuring prominently on this nice piece of crumpet in the catalogue of middle class Psychology or Sociology taboos is that area of human Department...and face it girls, interchange that has brought how many hours have you many a mighty ruler to his spent making yourselves beau- proverbial knees... and that tiful for those two hunky fellas woman to somewhere in in German and Law? between President Clinton´s. We appreciate that life for all The heroes of the Great War of students,especially you sad sin- Sexual Liberation in the 1960´s gle bastards, can at time be are currently embarking on frustrating. That is why we ask new struggles against the flacid you to approach us with your demons of middle age and most intimate problems and menopause. Armed with little darkest secrets. We, Prof. more than packets of Viagra Rupert Pornski of the and copies of "Penthouse" they University of Weston-super- face the impending crisis with Mare and Dr Lloyd Clittman of the stiff upper lip that put the Jefferson Southern Baptist Great into Britain and Mandy College, are here to give can- into Mayfair. But they never did, professional yet sympa- talk about it with us. thetic advice to those of you in Notwithstanding our parents need. Our credentials are sec- notable achievements in the ond to none and we guarantee past, we as youngsters are still 100% anonymity to those of faced with mighty challenges. you who can spell it. ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 10 (1,1)

10 Films, Reviews & Previews Thursday 4th February 1999 n

arren Beatty co- chucking out his prepared slick, brave film which Bulworth (18) writes, produces, speeches and telling the admiringly uses sharp wit The Dracula Spectacula Out Now directs and stars truth about political sleaze and humour to break down W Electric Theatre the round Midland Bank). Director: Warren Beatty in an entertaining comedy and corruption. During this complex political points and From Wed 10th Feb to Sat Telephone bookings on filled with plenty of laughs time, he falls for black feed them to the viewer in Starring: Warren Beatty, 13th Feb (matinee Sat). (01483) 444789. Or come to Halle Berry, Oliver Platt, and political bite. It’s the activist Nina (Berry), and easy bite-size portions. Paul Sorvino build up to the mid-term after following her back to a Beatty is impressive both election and Senator south-central hip-hop club, behind and in front of the Jay Billington learns how to rap (pretty camera, providing the Bulworth (Beatty) is badly), and scratch records laughs, but also grabbing the victim of a ner- (very badly). From then on one’s attention with striking vous breakdown. all of his potentially radical sentimental moments. He Completely flipped bulletins are delivered in openly attacks the system out, he decides to rhyme. His cocaine-sniffing from the inside. This is take out a contract on spin-doctor Murphy (Platt) probably a reason why this his own life and sub- looks on appalled, but vot- film bombed in the U.S. It’s sequently becomes ers actually love his honest a shame really, sometimes liberated from any political angle. Happily sur- you have to wonder if need to put on a fake prised with his new-found Hollywood actually realises smile in front of the popularity, Bulworth when it produces films of public. Bulworth decides to call off the hit this quality. stuns his staff, back- man, but finds out that he ers and the media by might be too late. This is a 8/10 Andrew Smith

SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE Special the University of Surrey ‘Romeo and Ethel’ by pre- he University of Students’ Union Reception any (15) Out Now tending to be a bloke. In no Surrey G&S Society weekday between 1 and 2pm. A: No! I actually think of returns to the Electric DIRECTOR: John Madden time at all Will and Vi fall in T Gwyneth as an honorary Theatre this year with the The show involves a cast of STARRING: Joseph love, and she becomes his Brit! Remarkably she isn’t spooky comedy musical The about 35 actors, singers and Fiennes, Gwyneth Paltrow, inspiration. However, as well known in America Dracula Spectacula, by John dancers, plus a 5 piece band (all Ben Aflek and many more. beneath all the bawdy as she is here because Gardiner and Andrew Parr. members of the university). It’s humour and parody of ‘Sliding Doors’ did very lit- Meet sweet young school the second show we’ve done at hakespeare’s classic Englishness, there are tle business in the states and teacher Miss Nadia Naïve the Electric Theatre (in 1997 and her pupils as they travel we put on Little Shop of tale of the pain and moments of true pathos and so this file is really seen as pleasure of over- real depth as the star- to Transylvania and Horrors there, just after the S her ‘coming of age’ film in encounter a number of theatre first opened, and in whelming true love is given crossed lovers superbly por- America. unique individuals. The evil 1998 we put on Chess in the new life in the shape of a trayed by Fiennes and Count and his partners in University Hall). The director screenplay by Tom Paltrow, realise that Q: What do the Golden crime have taken an interest is Viv Vignoles (musical direc- Stoppard and Marc inevitably, their true love is Globes mean to you? in our visiting friends, but tor of Little Shop), the musical Norman. The script posi- doomed to failure. perhaps our hero Prof. Nick director is Fiona Wareham tively sparkles with origi- A: They’re absolutely fan- Necrophiliac and his com- (lead role as Florence in Chess) nality as the story of While a passing knowledge tastic! We genuinely didn’t panions can save them ... and the choreographer is Kelda William Shakespeare of the story of ‘Romeo and West (director of Little Shop). expect to get 6 nominations, Tickets are £5/6 for adults and We are very pleased to be (Joseph Fiennes) as a young Juliet’ may help in your especially as the film was playwright suffering from appreciation of the film, the £3.50/4.50 for children and stu- expanding as a society this Ex-Neighbours Star “Lauren released so late and we did- dents are available from the year, with a large number of writers block and in need of energetic screenplay, perfor- Carpenter” n’t think that all of the judg- Electric Theatre, Onslow St., talented new members, includ- a muse, unfolds on screen. mances and faultless set and ing panel would be able to Guildford, GU1 4SZ ( backing ing technical crew and design- As if by magic, Viola costumes in this Anglo- David Parfitt see it in time. The awards on to the river, between the ers as well as performers. (Gwyneth Paltrow) appears American picture would be (Shakespeare in love certainly help with all the new Weatherspoons pub and and decides upon a career enjoyable even if you’d Producer) marketing and promotion, on the stage and infiltrates never heard of Shakespeare. We are seated in the largest especially in the states. Video Review: Dark City Shakespeare’s new play 8/10 Laura Knight Odeon theatre, having just .Dir: Alex Proyas. Starring: once a murderer. arol Harrison was thoroughly looking for- watched Shakespeare in Q: If the film is so predomi- Love. Aside from the nantly British why did you Rufus Sewell, Richard O’Brien, Although the amnesiac idea has (Louise Simmonds ward to seeing ‘Shakespeare Ian Richardson been seen a few times before, Guildford bourgeois coterie choose to premier it in Cin Eastenders) in Love’. t is one of the oddities of the plot of the film hangs well Carol, much smaller in real She is currently working cum hoi polloi, there are a America? life that in these days of together, with the incredible life, had much to say about back on Eastenders and smattering of journalists and Icinemas with more screens events being explained very British Film and assures us of some up-and - interested parties to ask A: No one reason in particu- than Cannes, smaller films satisfyingly. Despite this it is a Television.... coming dramatic plot lines, questions... lar, these things can go should be pushed aside. Surely little confusing at times, partic- all films are created equal? The ularly with some of the support although she refused to give either way. Q: How has the script likes of Godzilla or Titanic are who are too indistinct to have Carol commented on the anything away. She claimed fine but surely one screen could much impact when they appear. recent rise and rise of the to be nothing like her char- changed from the original Q: Was it a lot more expen- idea that was developed 5 sive than ‘Madness of King be set aside for more interest- Despite this the strength of the British film and talked of acter, but said that ‘Louise’ ing stuff that hasn’t rolled off narrative injects this film with a George’ which you also how people should be more is an excellent character to years ago? the Hollywood treadmill? succulent tension. appreciative of UK play and probably one of the produced? Anyway, what this spiel is lead- The main strength of this film talent/film industry. She had most complicated in any of A: Well, Julia Robbers was ing to is the fact that many of is its creation of atmosphere. just seen ‘Little Voice’ and the UK soaps, “she just has going to play the part of A: Oh yes! Madness cost you will have missed one of the The design of the literally spi- so many levels”. Viola and I think that that about $8 million whereas more intelligent action films of ralling city is phenomenal, as is would have meant a very ‘Shakespeare in Love’ cost last year, Dark City. It starts the huge underground realm of different film. The script about $25 million. This is with the premise of a dying the Strangers. Although Sewel She didn’t feel at race with the ability to alter the is a little dry as the lead charac- all intimidated by itself has been significantly mainly because of all the changed and polished up by sets we had to produce, physical world by will alone, ter, he performs the role ade- the cast of and builds it into a sinister and quately. Sutherland and recreating Elizabethan Eastenders when Tom Stoppard, in fact breathtaking vista of imagina- O’Brien, however, are great to she joined as there’s not a lot of Marc England is a very expensive tion. The story kicks off with a watch and it is their perfor- they were all so Norman’s original script business. man who has lost his memo- mances that draw the viewer in. friendly and wel- left! ries, played by Rufus Sewel. If you want mystery, action and coming, just like Q: How long did it take to Visions of long ago trouble him intelligent science fiction (well, and the mysterious Strangers, more intelligent than having one big happy Q: Why did you put shoot? Gwyneth Paltrow in as the led by Richard O’Brien as Mr. Godzilla hide in the under- family. She said Hand, haunt him, as he tries to ground railway system), then she felt like she’d leading lady? Were you try- A: About 17 weeks, which ing to attract an American is quite a long time!! discover who he is. But the city this is definitely a film to rent. been in and the people in it seem as If you want a collection of Eastenders forev- audience for what is pre- nebulous as his memories ; and explosions, get Starship er, but that was- dominantly a British film? the only clues to his past life Troopers. 9/10 n’t a criticism. lead him to realise that he was Steven Alexander ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 11 (1,1)

n Thursday 4th February 1999 Surrey Pride 11

Surrey Pride Star Profile Number 11, Holly James Sports Shorts Volleyball-We Need Players! Step straight into the BUSA lime- Brazil stay top in Broncos win a sec- light with UniS Mens and Womens new ond straight Super Volleyball teams who are both FIFA rankings Bowl title desperate for players. Brazil remained top of The Denver Broncos, who FIFA’s world rankings pub- fell short in their pursuit of lished by world soccer’s a perfect season, settled for The UniS Volleyball club governing body last week. a near-perfect Super Bowl World champions France on Sunday, dominating the welcomes players of all are second, while Germany Atlanta Falcons for a 34-19 standards and is a fun and social have slipped back to fifth win and their second place from third. Italy, straight NFL champi- sports club. moving up four places, and onship. Playing in perhaps Come on, have some Fun in Croatia, who reached the his final game, Denver Vital Stats; semi-finals of the World quarterback John Elway the Sun (well, Campusport hall). Age: 21 Cup last year after beating earned MVP honours. On a Germany in the quarters, night when the Falcons Training; Campusport centre Dept: SBS are joint third. Among the offence needed 58 minutes Thursday 6.15 7.30pm, Sundays7.30 Nicknames: Hotlips, Slugger, Welsh Rarebit big risers are Portugal, up to find the end zone, the 9pm Measurements: 5’3.5” 19 places to 17th; Belgium, Broncos spent plenty of Sporting Interests (and why?): Football (because it’s a woman’s up 14 to 21st, and Bulgaria, time there. Interested? game!) up 19 places to 30th. Wales, Marital Status: Allegedly settling down (under??) up 23 places to 74th are the Kafelnikov, Women call Britta on biggest risers in the top 100. captures 01483 532967 or Personal Info; Big fallers include Yugoslavia, down 10 to Australian Open e-mail [email protected] What is your favourite feature? 16th, Japan, down 13 to My ability to look innocent, when I’m as guilty as hell [funny the 33rd, and Iran down 19 to Yevgeny Kafelnikov, side- Men call Dan on ext 4788 or proportion of female Surrey Stars who claim this trait!! - Sports Ed.] 46th. England slipped out lined by strange accidents What do you go for in a man? Firm bum, nice eyes (Hardly selective, of the top ten and now sit in the past two years, only had e-mail [email protected] that could be half the blokes on campus!) eleventh place. to keep his body intact this Favourite Drink? Anything cheap and nasty (Again...) time to capture a weakened First Past the Post by Eddie men's tournament on Favourite Food? Haagen Das - ice cream Schumacher down- Sunday and gain a second ot quite such a good good each way value in the Favourite Music? Stereophonics plays Grand Slam title. week for me. Cyfor Agfa Diamond Chase. It will Sporting Info: Ferrari’s chances Kafelnikov's steady base- NMalta gave a positive be interesting to see if answer to the many sceptics Teaatral continues his What does Surrey Sport give you? Michael Schumacher line play gave him a 4-6, 6- who doubted his ability to improvement after having Hangovers, poor attendance to Thursday lectures, a beer belly and no played down his and 0, 6-3, 7-6 (7-1) victory Ferrari’s chances of win- over an unusually error- stay the Gold Cup distance stepped up in distance in the dents in my reputation whatsoever! [Cheers, Gav! - Sports Ed.] ning this year’s Formula prone Thomas Enqvist. In a when he trotted home in the 2 ¾ mile Tote Sandown hur- What is your; One world championship men's draw diminished by Pillar Chase, while com- dle, although Mr. Percy most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? but underlined his devotion the absence of the No. 1 ments on Storm Damage might be a safer bet. The proved true, as he was worth Singer and Friedlander Being awarded 1st team player of the year in my first year at Uni (and to the Italian team. The Pete Sampras, the pathetic a place when finishing sec- National Trial at Uttoxeter many thanks to all the blokes that voted) German, who has finished play of Andre Agassi, and runner-up in the world title the early knockout of other ond in the Ladbroke Chase. has been a good race for funniest moment you can recall from your days at Surrey? chase for the past two sea- top players, the No. 10 GRT YORKSHIRE glitter Grand National hopefuls in Getting so pissed that I (went home with Spooner??) couldn’t get into sons, said there was no Kafelnikov emerged as isle, CLEEVE HURDLE the past. Lord Gyllene Bo’s, returned home, smashed a window to get in and then hid in the guarantee his fourth season champion almost by default. grey shot. should run better for his electricity cupboard for half the night as I thought we had been broken with the outfit would be any The Russian played well, if racecourse reappearance, in to! more successful than his unspectacularly, in the final, A bit more activity coming and won both races in ‘97, worst injury? Cuts and abrasions from the above incident! past efforts. Schumacher to add the Australian title to up this weekend, with cards although may still be lacking worst STD? added that he was not the French Open champi- up and down the country, fitness, especially under top as well as in Ireland, where weight. I take Fiddling The none (nothing ventured, nothing gained, as my Gran used to say!) tempted by big-money onship he won in 1996. the Hennesy Gold Cup will Facts to gain revenge on the Do you have any sporting superstitions? Always try and look for two offers from rival teams and that his devotion was in be contested at Welsh National winner, magpies before a game (2 for a boy, sorry joy!) Hingis walks over winning the world champi- Leopardstown. Current Kendal Cavalier, over the 3 How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? onship with Ferrari. The last Mauresmo Cheltenham Gold Cup ½ trip. Meanwhile, at It gives me a social life and occasionally dabbles in my private life! Ferrari driver to win the Martina Hingis held off the favourite, Florida Pearl, Wetherby, Tonoco has run Is sex better before or after sport? Formula One crown was new revolution in women's reappears after his disap- encouragingly in bumpers, Always before, I’m far too knackered after [I’m not bloody surprised if Jody Scheckter in 1979 tennis, to capture a third pointing fall over and transferred that form you’re shagging before kick off! - Sports Ed.] straight Australian Open Christmas, and he really over the sticks, and I expect title. Hingis' court mastery needs a good win here to him to take the Rossington Who is your sporting role model? J.P.R. Williams (apparently THE .Heckler removed shone through as she keep his credibility. If we Main Novice hurdle. most famous Welsh rugby player of all time!) after being found repelled the muscular are going to look else- Which sports personality would you most like to meet? with gun Amelie Mauresmo to secure where, one could find a Jockey sponsorship is one Neil Jenkins, because he’s so lovely (Welsh rugby no. 10), [and the first A fan heckling Tiger Woods a fifth Grand Slam title. worse choice than Danoli. the big talking points at the nine?? - Sports Ed.) at the Phoenix Open was Mauresmo unleashed the Three from this side of the moment. Last Monday was Sum yourself up in 3 words? Little Miss Innocent arrested after police discov- power that may yet reshape Irish Sea will be making the first day on which riders CJ’s nominated question; As someone similarly falsely accused of a ered a handgun concealed women's tennis, though not the trip, Escartefigue, who were allowed to bear slo- string of drunken encounters with opposite sex how does it feel to on his person. The man, who as long as Hingis can keep has not realised any of the gans on their breeches, and have to sneak across Campus on Thursday mornings in BoJ’s is yet to be identified fol- countering with the kind of promise he showed in his although none were cleared inspired performance she to do so on the first day, clothes, hoping that people don’t get the wrong idea? Obviously this lowed Woods, for four holes novice year, Addington on the final round of the displayed in a 6-2, 6-3 tri- Boy, not getting any better several top National Hunt is an extreme case of mistaken identity. I’m far too innocent for any of jockeys have already been tournament. He was yelling umph. Mauresmo has taken with age, and National win- that! signed up, and others are on at Woods and using abusive the fitness regime to a new ner Earth Summit. It’s pos- the verge. Faucets, a bath- language near the tee areas level, pumping iron in the sible that the former may room company, are hopeful Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question would you like when officers, who were gym three times a week, gain a place, but many have of striking an arrangement added to the profile list for next weeks Star, Welsh Windsurfing hero, assigned to follow Woods, building up her upper arms been waiting for him to with the Jockey Association Adam Bowen? Were your Mallet & Balls worthy of the applause told him to be quiet. The and shoulders to the point turn it on this year. in time for the Cheltenham after a post BO’s match of Croquet? heckler, who had been where she has the strength Festival in March. drinking, became belligerent to hit one-handed topspin At Sandown, Hoh Express backhands as no other However, they would like Thankyou, Miss James, who, for all those would be Romeo’s, has now taken and persisted, even though may well follow up his women ever have. This has as many jockeys as possible herself off the market shelf, for a new life on the piste and secret rendezvous officers identified them- recent success over the high- been critiscied not least to be emblazoned with the avoiding Club meetings in the Library Restaurant. Holly has taken more than selves. He was booked on ly regarded Fanfaron in the from Lindsay Davenport company name, and it is her fair share of stick over the last semester (I’ll leave that one with you for a suspicion of aggravated Scilly Isles Novice chase, and Martina Hingis, who over two and a half miles. looking increasingly unlike- second!) and is jetting off for a new life in New Zealand for her Industrial Year assault, then released pend- ly that the desired 70% of are on record saying that Irish youngster, Torduff (No change in the Sheep/Bird ratio’s there then!). She leaves us with a dubious- ing submission of the top jockeys will agree to the Miss Mauresmo resembled Express, has run well in ly anonymous question for Adam, who amongst many things is famous for his charges to the courts. blanket deal, as individuals and played like a man. some good races, and should love of our Sports Officers leftovers and a Grande night out rekindling old seek out more lucrative per- make the frame to prove flames in Brighton! Take up the sail, Mr. Bowen. sonal packages. ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:50 Page 12 (1,1)

Surrey Pride Super Sports Day The Wind of Change in aid of Imperial Cancer Research Paul Cliff, Sports Editor

ust in case you missed this Unihoc The entries are open to local raises over £100 and a prize ll good things must porarily and begin his reign in the first time round, I’ll (6 team members) businesses, clubs and the pub- for the highest fund-raising come to an end, as the the friendly against World Jmention it again. We now Basketball lic. This in itself will be seen team - so good luck! Abottle washer said to Champions France. Despite potentially have teams from (6 team members) as a positive step to integrat- the Bishop, and the Union regrets on both sides, the out- Sainsbury’s, Vodafone, Football ing the local community with If you are interested in enter- Sabbaticals begin to feel a come is surely no surprise to (6 team members) Ericson (strong contenders!), the University through a ing a team for the day or wish similar sense of impending most, after what has been a Union Exec, Forte Hotels, Archery or Table Tennis sporting social event. to have a chat about the chari- unemployment as the Election period of office sadly tainted Civil Engineering (4 team members) ty then come to the Sports campaigns get into full swing with scandal regarding Department, Waterpolo, Climbing or Tennis All we ask for is that each per- Office in the Students’ Union Rugby club, Spiers 1 etc. (4 team members) son tries raise at least £75 and see Alex or Gemma or this week. I vividly remember Glenn’s opinions on many amongst others! So why not speaking to Cazza at this time things other than football. All teams will play in the uni- each, that’s just three or four of any of the Sabbaticals for badger your Department, hoc, basketball and football your friends or families (mum, information. Alternatively last year and she became Still, the press made the most friends, course, court (Stag tournaments. Teams can then dad, grannies etc) pledging £10 call on x 9981 or 259981. Or somewhat irate as candidates of any opportunity to sell Hill, Twyford etc!) into enter- choose between archery or and another ten or so people collect a form and return it to frequently visited her office papers with the usual mind- ing a team! O.K, so £75 table tennis and climbing or (brothers, sisters or floor the Union Reception or and left her angrily rearrang- less prospectus. Throughout pounds each may scare you! tennis. Prizes for the highest mates!) giving £3 or £4, the Barefacts Office as soon as ing vital desk ornaments and the wait, as is the mentality of (and lowest!) scoring teams price of a couple of pints! possible. Helpers are also filing systems that they had the press, speculation ranged But if you don’t make the will be awarded at the end of needed, joining our Students grade, but show you tried we subtly suggested ‘could do from not only exhaustive lists the day at a special prize cere- There will be t shirts available Sub committee in organising won’t put you in the slammer with a bit of a sort out!’ Even of people to take over, but mony. for each team member that the day! and throw away the key, its a now, you can almost see the some sources resorted to target, with prizes for those sparkle ebb from Langley’s guessing personnel changes who raise over £100! It’s eyes as his prospective for the squad to face France in going to be a great day out, all replacements eye up the decor Hoddle’s absence. are welcome to watch, with in his room and mentally tear various papers snapping down the sun-yellowed tat Thankfully, as with Hoddle’s away! By the way, keep your posters which adorn the situation, the Election ques- eyes peeled on Carlton ITV on the 22nd of February at Mecca of interior design that tions will also be swiftly approximately 1pmish and is known as the Sports Office. answered as the candidates just after 6.25pm for a pro- Similar feelings of fait accom- line up for Hustings next gram about our day, showing pli must have been echoing week on Monday 8th and to 1.2m people!! through the corridors of Thursday 11th. Make sure power at Lancaster Gate, as you attend to have your say We are looking for enthusias- the F.A. seemed to endlessly and grill the candidates, and tic mixed teams of six people ponder the Glenn Hoddle especially to support the fel- comprising from friends from Karma comments, put off las who will suffer the most your floor, work, department, home, family etc (male and since 12pm Tuesday, to be stagefright on the night, the female) to play the following finally announced at 7pm as Comperes, your loveable BF sports: Gordon Taylor, rather gravely Editor and his Sporty announced the inevitable Sidekick - We’re $#!tt!n’ our- news that Hoddle would no selves! longer continue in his position You Hungover? Lets Hope as England manager. Head of You’re Drunk on Pride Development, Howard After Yesterdays BUSA Look out for the Surrey Supporters on ITVCarlton on 22nd February at 1pm Wilkinson, will take over tem- Demolitions! and approx 6.25pm. World Champion leads UniS to another win.

niS Guildford had Lloyd-Walter and was a comfortable only able to trouble the Uwin against Lee score by six points. on Solent, by four ties to one. The match was Steve Meads, the veteran clinched by veteran and campaigner who had just former World Champion recently arrived back – Ross Norman, who beat from America, where he Clive Ewins, of Lee on had played in the Solent, by 3 games to one. ‘Tournament of This was an untroubled Champions’ in New match win for Ross York – Grand Central Norman, who displayed Station, won a scrappy the skills of a former and rather Let strewn World Champion, a dis- match against the fiery play that overwhelmed Nathan Duggan. his opponent. UniS Guildford have Adrian Grant and John now consolidated their Russell, the two young position at the top of the stars of the future for table and look forward to Guildford, both won their next match, which comfortably by 3 games will be a top of the table to 0. Once a gain, giving clash at home to the Guildford supporters Chichester, on the 9 at the Varsity Centre, an February. Tickets are insight to their potential. available for this match, but early booking is Lisa Stephen, another advisable as it will young prospect for inevitably will be a sell Guildford, was complete- out ly overwhelmed by Lee .by Mustapha Rally’s on Solent’s Dominique mate.