Undue Influence 101: A Framework for Understanding Thought Control

Panelists: Bill Goldberg, Steve Hassan, Dana Wehle, Paul Grosswald

ICSA Annual Internaonal Conference Silver Spring, Maryland July 4, 2014 Welcome

New Jersey Safe & Sound www.njsafeandsound.org Overview

1. Recognizing Undue Influence 2. Understanding the Mechanisms of Undue Influence 3. Mental Health Consideraons for Families Confronted With the Culc Alienaon of a Loved One 4. Queson and Answer Session Panelists

• Bill Goldberg, PsA, LCSW

• Steve Hassan, M.Ed., LMHC, NCC

• Dana Wehle, LCSW, PsA, MFA

• Paul Grosswald, Esq. Part One

The Mulple Faces of Undue Influence

Bill Goldberg, PsA, LCSW www.blgoldberg.com Recognizing Undue Influence

• The elements of influence in everyday life • Definions of undue influence • Categories of individuals who use undue influence • Who can employ undue influence? • Margaret Singer’s model of thought reform • Possible signs and symptoms of undue influence • Can undue influence be undone? Elements of Influence In Everyday Life

Robert Cialdini

Elements of Influence in Everyday Life Cialdini • Reciprocaon • Commitment and consistency • Social proof • Liking • Authority • Scarcity Definions of Undue Influence

• Gaining unfair influence by taking advantage of a posion of power over another • Inappropriate or excessive manipulaon that is exerted against a vulnerable person • Mental, moral or physical dominaon that deprives one person of independent judgment and substutes another person’s objecves Categories of Individuals Who Use Undue Influence • Con arsts • People who desire to gain power over others • Those who may not have set out to exploit vulnerable people, but who find the temptaon too great • Those who raonalize that their self-serving acons are really in the service of helping their vicms Who Can Employ Undue Influence? • Anyone in a posion of power • Adult to child • Aide/caregiver to disabled or elderly person • Abusive spouse/partner to baered spouse/partner • Therapist to paent • Religious leader to member of congregaon • Cult leader to follower • Gang leader to iniate • Sexual predator/human trafficker to vicm • Aorney to client • Doctor to paent • Professor to student • Employer to employee Margaret Singer’s Model of Elements of Thought Reform

• Isolaon • Creaon of a siege mentality • Dependency • Induced powerlessness • Fear of vulnerability • Vicm is unaware Possible Signs and Symptoms of Undue Influence • Drasc change in autonomy • Secreve relaonships • Use of clichés and simplisc thinking • Cung off of historic relaonships • Delusional quality of accusaons, beyond misinterpretaons • History of abuse for alleged influencer Can Undue Influence Be Undone?

• If what is operang is induced dependency, vicms will have moments of recognion and unconscious doubts • Rebuild trust so that ambivalence can be acknowledged • Use of third pares to build trust Part Two

Understanding Undue Influence: Manipulaon and Coercive Persuasion

Steve Hassan, M.Ed., LMHC, NCC www.freedomofmind.com

Influence Connuum Construcve Destrucve Extreme

Leadership • Honest o Respects Uniqueness of Person o Individuality • Trustworthy o Choice o Freewill • Accountable o Free Access to Informaon • Transparent o Sincerely Loving Influence Connuum

Construcve Destrucve Extreme

Organizaons • Informed Consent • Checks and Balances • Transparent • Encourages Growth

Influence Connuum

Construcve Destrucve Extreme

Leadership

o Censorship • Clones People Doctrine Over Personal Experience o • o Pressure to Think Right Way Obedience o Pressure to Feel Right Way • Dependency o Pressure to Behave Right Way • Fear/Phobia Influence Connuum

Construcve Destrucve Extreme

Organizaons • Pyramid • Authoritarian • Ends Jusfy Means • Closed – Preserves Power

Influence Connuum

Construcve Destrucve Extreme

Need to be cauous of Influence Apply BITE Model Quesons • Behavior • Informaon • Thought • Emoon The BITE Model as a Guide to Evaluang Groups and Situaons

Steven Hassan M.Ed. LMHC, NCC www.freedomofmind.com

Control of: • Behavior • Informaon • Thought • Emoon “BITE” - Behavior Control

1. Regulate individual’s physical 8. Restrict leisure, entertainment, reality vacaon me 9. Major me spent with group 2. Dictate where, how and with indoctrinaon and rituals and/or whom the members lives and self indoctrinaon including the associates or isolates internet 3. When, how and with whom 10. Permission required for major the member has sex decisions 11. Thoughts, feelings, and acvies (of 4. Control types of clothing and self and others) reported to hairstyles superiors 5. Regulate diet – food and 12. Rewards and punishments used to drink, hunger and/or fasng modify behaviors, both posive and 6. Manipulaon and deprivaon negave 13. Discourage individualism, of sleep encourage group-think 7. Financial exploitaon, 14. Impose rigid rules and regulaons manipulaon or dependence 15. Insll dependency and obedience “BITE” - Informaon Control

1. Deception: 4. Encourage spying on other members » Deliberately withhold information » Impose a buddy system to » Distort information to make it monitor and control member more acceptable » Report deviant thoughts, » Systematically lie to the cult feelings, and actions to member leadership 2. Minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources of » Insure that individual behavior information, including: is monitored by group » Internet, TV, radio, books, articles, 5. Extensive use of cult-generated information and propaganda, including: newspapers, magazines, other media » Newsletters, magazines, journals, audio tapes, » Critical information videotapes, YouTube, movies, » Former members and other media » Keep members busy so they don’t » Misquoting statements or using have time to think and investigate them out of context from non- » Control through cell phone with cult sources texting, calls, Internet tracking 6. Unethical use of confession 3. Compartmentalize information into Outsider vs. » Information about “sins” used Insider doctrines: to disrupt and/or dissolve » Insure that information is not identity boundaries freely accessible » Withholding forgiveness or » Control information at different absolution levels and missions within group » Manipulation of memory, » Allow only leadership to decide possible false memories who needs to know what and when “BITE” - Thought Control

1. Require members to internalize 6. Memories are manipulated and false the group’s doctrine as truth memories are created Ø Adopng the group’s “map of reality” as reality 7. Teaching thought-stopping techniques Ø Insll black and white thinking which shut down reality tesng by Ø Decide between good vs. evil stopping negave thoughts and Ø Organize people into us vs. allowing only posive thoughts, them (insiders vs. outsiders) including: 2. Change person’s name and Ø Denial, raonalizaon, jusficaon, identy wishful thinking 3. Use of loaded language and clichés which constrict Ø Channg knowledge, stop crical Ø Meditang thoughts, and reduce complexies into platudinous Ø Praying buzz words Ø Speaking in tongues 4. Encourage only “good and Ø Singing or humming proper” thoughts 8. Rejecon of raonal analysis, crical 5. Hypnoc techniques are used to alter mental states, undermine thinking, construcve cricism crical thinking and even to age 9. Forbid crical quesons about leader, regress the member doctrine, or policy 10. Labeling alternave belief systems as illegimate, evil, or not useful “BITE” - Emoonal Control

1. Manipulate and narrow the range of feelings – 6. Extremes of emoonal highs and lows – love some emoons and/or needs are deemed as evil, wrong, or selfish bombing and praise one moment and then 2. Teach emoon-stopping techniques to block declaring you are horrible sinner feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt 7. Ritualisc and somemes public confession of 3. Make the person feel that problems are always sins their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault 8. Phobia indoctrinaon — inculcang irraonal 4. Promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness, such fears about leaving the group or quesoning as: the leader’s authority: Ø Identy guilt Ø You are not living up to your potenal Ø No happiness or fulfillment possible Ø Your family is deficient outside the group Ø Your past is suspect Ø Terrible consequences if you leave: hell, Ø Your affiliaons are unwise demon possession, incurable diseases, Ø Your thoughts, feelings, acons are irrelevant accidents, suicide, insanity, 10,000 or selfish reincarnaons, etc. Ø Social guilt Ø Historical guilt Ø Shunning of those who leave; fear of being 5. Insll fear, such as fear of: rejected by friends, peers, and family Ø Thinking independently Ø Never a legimate reason to leave; those Ø The outside world who leave are weak, undisciplined, Ø Enemies unspiritual, worldly, brainwashed by family Ø Losing one’s salvaon or counselor, or seduced by money, sex, or Ø Leaving or being shunned by the group rock and roll Ø Other’s disapproval Ø Threats of harm to ex-member and family Strategic Interacve Approach (SIA)

A Complex System Approach to creang a network of trained individuals (family, friends, ex- members, media, clergy, therapists) to orchestrate a step by step ethical, influence program to empower an individual or set of individuals to think for themselves. Strategic Interacve Approach (cont.)

• The SIA is a long term recovery process for both the cult member and members of the family • The goal is to help the loved one recover their full facules; to restore the creave, flexible, independent adult who fully understands what has happened to them • In the SIA, each person has issues that should be addressed • A customized approach that encourages everyone to develop posive, construcve paerns of communicaon • One focus is on the growth and development of healthy relaonships within the family • Everyone is traumazed by the cult involvement, even those who are not directly involved • Each case is different and presents new challenges; every set of family resources is unique Part Three

Mental Health Consideraons for Families Confronted With the Culc Alienaon of a Loved One

Dana Wehle, LCSW, PsA, MFA www.danawehletherapy.com Illustraon may not be reproduced without the wrien permission of Dana

Wehle . Sara DeGraff: [email protected] Shaered World The family’s world is shaered by culc alienaon. Without aending to these feelings, the stress wreaks havoc on the body:

v Anger v Isolaon v Shame v Fear v Sadness v Guilt v Frustraon v Loss v Doubt v Anxiety v Trust

Individual, Couple, Family, Group Psychotherapy v Cult or trauma specialist v Psycho-educaon about the dynamics of a loved one in a cult v Processing of thoughts, emoons, and memories Three Primary Consideraons 1. Tracking how stressful emoons are experienced in the body/self-care. 2. Commitment to psychological growth including experiencing/processing avoided emoons within safety of therapy . 3. Commitment to improving intra-family communicaon What To Expect From Inial Consultaon With Cult Therapist v Learn about therapy versus exit counseling v Assess immediacy of need for exit counseling v Focus on maintaining connecon by avoiding cricism v Establish collaborave approach with psychotherapist and exit counselor How Psychotherapy Helps v Ongoing support v Develop coping methods and a focus on self-care v Learn Grounding Techniques to keep mind on the present moment v Replace negave thought paerns with posive v Link pre-cult and cult history of loss and trauma to contextualize current despair v Track effect of stress on health, self-percepon, and interpersonal relang Psychodynamic therapy specifically focuses on paerns that connect past and present. v It is a creave process that unfolds over me, enabling the individual to develop and speak his/ her subjecve voice from a deep and unguarded place through development of trust and mutuality with therapist. v The best-case scenario is for the family to model this stance when the alienated loved one returns.

Creavity entails internal courage.

(The Courage To Create, Rollo May, 1994)

vvvvvvv Psychological growth and improving communicaon skills require internal courage

Identify, Express, and Explore

Painful vFeelings vThoughts vMemories

Dissociated and known through gestures and behaviors only

[email protected] : DeGraff Sara

Illustraon may not be reproduced without the wrien permission of Dana Wehle. Fear Emoons and the Body Parent Narrave

“They had pushed me to a point where I had a cardiomyopathy and discovered that only half my heart was working. The other name for what I had was Broken Heart Syndrome which was induced from stress. We are all on the road to healing now.” Emoons and the Body v Emoon is necessary for raonal thought/decision making. v Emoon is induced by neural and chemical routes. (Descartes’ Error: Emoon, Reason, and the Human Brain, Antonio Damasio, 2005) v “[The therapist] help[s] the individual feel and idenfy bodily sensaons to then use language to name and understand their meaning in current life.” (The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment, Babee Rothschild, 2000) Emoons and the Body (cont’d) v A normal mind splits (dissociates) as a way to cope when overwhelmed by a traumac event. v Dissociaon leads to black/white thinking, the traumac event unlinked with emoons and thought. v “The traumazed person's experience of not being able to think is because trauma impairs reflecve funconing in the brain.”

(The Dissociave Mind, Elizabeth F. Howell, 2005) Processing Avoided Painful Feelings

v Lessens defensiveness v Lessens reacvity v Lessens sense of fragmentaon v Encourages emoonal openness v Encourages good communicaon skills essenal for family member's return ! Former Member Narrave

“I think I would not be able to receive some of the recent informaon I have as deeply. Before beginning this work, I felt cared about, but think it took me much longer to accept those type of connecons. The biggest benefit was that before this work I was less in touch with my body and myself … To feel like I'm living inside my body … in touch with myself is new. Now I don't ignore when my stomach ghtens... I more realize it is a symptom. I noced the biggest changes in the last 3 to 4 years. I came to the conclusion that it would have taken me a lot longer to idenfy feelings such as fear and to process them. If I am afraid, it is now more front and center; before it was in the back of my mind... not so conscious. I would have been pushing it back. I recognize mixed emoons more.. less black-and-white thinking... because the hard feelings are more lived now I am more comfortable talking about them.”

vvvvvvv Part Four Queson & Answer Session

• Bill Goldberg, PsA, LCSW • Paul S. Grosswald, Aorney at Law • Steve Hassan, M.Ed., LMHC, NCC • Dana Wehle, LCSW, PsA, MFA For More Informaon • www.njsafeandsound.org • www.facebook.com/njsafeandsound • www.blgoldberg.com • www.culnfoservice.org • www.freedomofmind.com • www.icsahome.org • www.danawehletherapy.com

NJ Safe & Sound www.njsafeandsound.org www.facebook.com/njsafeandsound [email protected]

PO Box 494, Teaneck, NJ 07666