PLAYING PERSPECTIVE

NATHAN HARRIS

Tauranga and the reality hit home that I didn’t know what to do, I was so it was going to be a long process. close to getting back to play and now My dad was a good source of I felt it was slipping away. I was really, support, and he just made me focus really down and it took a lot more inner on the fact that I was young and would strength to deal with it. I had lots of come back from it. Dad was right, but it thoughts going through my head. Do was still a bitter pill to swallow. I retire or do I guts it out? What was A week later I had surgery. Then I going to make me happier: playing club had to sit on my backside for a month, rugby and working my way back to live which was really hard to take when I my dream to the full potential or finding had been training constantly for the a new career? last few years. I have never had that The rugby won and my passion drove LL BLACKS HOOKER NATHAN HARRIS amount of time off, so I had to learn to me to refocus on my recovery. KNOWS FIRST-HAND WHAT IT IS LIKE fill in my time. I surrounded myself with I missed out on the 2015 Rugby ATO ACHIEVE YOUR BOYHOOD DREAM OF family and friends who tried to keep me World Cup and that was a hard pill to BECOMING AN ALL BLACK – ONLY TO HAVE IT upbeat and not let me dwell on it. swallow, but the boys winning it was SHATTERED BY INJURY, NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. hugely satisfying. After every match The 24-year-old hooker injured his ankle in “I used that time to concentrate I watched, I would go for a run and it Chicago in 2014, while playing in only his second on my off-field life. I consulted motivated me to train harder to get my Personal Development test match in the black jersey. Manager, Judy Clement, and back there. He was on a massive high having just scored we made a plan.” NATHAN HARRIS I would have already done a full day’s his first try. A few minutes into play after the training but I would still do a run after restart, Nathan saw an opportunity and ran 20 I used that time to concentrate the match to help ease my frustration metres to get into position to catch the ball. He on my off-field life. I consulted my of not being out there, which I was still received a terrible pass, which landed at his feet, Personal Development Manager, Judy struggling with. I found the exercise so he kicked the ball and then got pulled back Clement, and we made a plan. I got into was good not only for the body but also by an opposing player. Nathan went down like a bit of property development, which I for the mind. he had been shot by a sniper. He had done his found a really interesting experience as When I played my first Investec ankle. Nathan shares his story: it was the first house I had built. I also Super Rugby game, it is fair to say I was My initial thoughts were this is incredibly did some charity work, which gave me incredibly nervous. I got through it and sore. Well, actually the language was a bit more a good perspective on how lucky I am. then managed to work my way back colourful than that, but I thought I had rolled There are people out there who need into the All Blacks, which was such a my left ankle. The medical staff came over and help so I just wanted to do my bit. satisfying feeling. did a few tests then heavily strapped it, and I I was getting up at around 5am I had a head knock during the tried to get up and convince myself I was okay. to stretch out in the morning before Super Rugby season, so sat out with I was able to run, which was purely due to the training so I could give myself the best concussion for a month, which made adrenaline in my body. chance I could to recover properly. At me think that I wasn’t going to make it A few minutes later I couldn’t turn on my foot, around six months post-surgery, when back into the All Blacks. But, when my so I signalled that I needed to be replaced. I I was getting near to returning to play, health came right, I just tried to empty came off and watched the rest of the game. I was doing some finer touches like the tank for that last month to earn I saw an ankle surgeon from Chicago in the fending and game-specific sprints selection so I wouldn’t have any regrets. changing room who said I had ruptured my when I noticed pain in the balls of my When I got called back into the medial ligament in my foot. Upon hearing that I toes on my left foot. squad, I was over the moon. I felt really was in a bit of shock. I told the physios and went off for a happy for my family and friends who I got sent home two days later, which was scan, and was told my return to play had supported me during some very gut-wrenching. It was then that it sunk in that I would be set back another three to four dark days. However, there were more would have to have surgery. I saw the surgeon in months. I was just lost! dark days to come.

84 | NZ RUGBY WORLD | DECEMBER 16/JANUARY 17 Nathan scores a try in Chicago, 2014.

“Internally, I went to a dark place. I had done everything by the book and then this happened. I was devastated.” NATHAN HARRIS

My next injury happened on tour in Australia, prior to the first facebook.com/NZRPA Bledisloe game this year. We had a good week leading up to it and I had been named to start. I was in a good state physically and SUPPORT mentally. On the Thursday afternoon, we had a training session and we were doing some footwork into contact and I popped my ACL in my right knee. I went down again just the same, like I had Players should never feel been shot. I just thought “F@&k! What have I done this time?” embarrassed about asking for I was keen to get moving and I got up and walked away, but the medical team’s quick assessment confirmed my worst thoughts. assistance or help. People to go I watched the end of training with all these thoughts of “Why to for help include: did this happen to me?” and, internally, I went to a dark place. I @nzrpa had done everything by the book and then this happened. I was ■ Friends, family members or a trusted confidante devastated. ■ The team’s Personal Development Manager So it was a plane home again and more surgery. This was a tough ■ The coach or CEO of the provincial union one to take, but I have a mate who is going through chemotherapy, ■ The team doctor nzrugbyplayersassoc and he gives me perspective. I have to be grateful and use it as ■ Your own personal doctor if you would prefer not motivation as there really is someone worse off than me. to discuss the issues with your team doctor I feel like I have unfinished business still trying to chase my ■ NZRPA via 0800 Player dream, so I just simply have to focus on what I need to do to get ■ Confidential free independent professional back on the field. After surgery to reattach the ACL, I am now back support for contracted players via InStep on on the rehab road. 0800 284 678, or other independent support Through my experiences I have learned that life can be very programmes such as Lifeline 0800 543 354 challenging, but just take every day as it comes and be grateful for what you have. Live in the moment and enjoy what you do. Not seeking help for mental health problems is a Yes, it is hard to stay positive and you will have dark days, but major issue for players and non-players alike. Early surround yourself with good people. Make the most of your time identification and intervention for mental health off the field by setting things up for life after rugby, because you problems is extremely important, as this can mean never know when that injury could be career-ending. less disruption to a player’s life People don’t see the hard road behind the scenes of injury, and quicker recovery. the loneliness of recovery and the commitment it takes to get Remember: a problem shared back, but if you do make it back it is hugely rewarding because is a problem halved. you appreciate it more. Those people who have helped you during your injury also come along on that journey of recovery with you See page 88 for information on New Zealand and get enjoyment out of seeing you make it back on the field. Rugby’s new mental well-being website called I am grateful to everyone that had an impact and helped me HeadFirst, which will be launched early in 2017. and I want to really thank them for their support through both the dark and the light days.

DECEMBER 16/JANUARY 17 | NZ RUGBY WORLD | 85 PLAYERS ASSOCIATION ANNUAL PLAYER AWARDS

Every year our members honour their biggest and brightest in the annual Players’ Choice Awards. Here are the 2016 nominees:

2016 PLAYERS’ PLAYER 2016 PLAYERS’ PLAYER 2016 PLAYERS’ 2016 PLAYERS’ PLAYER OF THE YEAR: WOMEN OF THE YEAR: MEN PROVINCIAL UNION OF THE YEAR Nominees: Nominees: PLAYER OF THE YEAR SEVENS WOMEN Beauden Barrett Nominees: Nominees: Fiao’o Fa’amausili Dane Coles Aroha Savage Jerome Kaino Damian McKenzie Silica Winiata Brodie Retallick Jordan Taufua Tyla Nathan-Wong Ben Smith Luke Whitelock

86 | NZ RUGBY WORLD | DECEMBER 16/JANUARY 17 2016 PLAYERS’ PLAYER OF THE YEAR SEVENS MEN Nominees: Sam Dickson Tim Mikkelson

2016 PLAYERS’ YOUNG PLAYER OF THE YEAR Nominees: Jordie Barrett Anton Lienert-Brown Bryn Gatland

WE CHECK OUT HOW SOME OF OUR OLYMPIC SILVER facebook.com/NZRPA MEDALLISTS WILL BE SPENDING Christmas Day @nzrpa nzrugbyplayersassoc Huriana Manuel side of the family (aunties/ Ruby Tui This year will be a little uncles/cousins). We rotate I will spend the day with lots I’m going to be spending different than how we usually whose house it is at each and lots of family. We will the day at my mum’s in spend our Christmas. I will year or two. This year we are start off at our family house Nelson with my partner be spending Christmas in having everyone over to ours. for breakfast then head to Taryn, her parents and also Japan. I’m looking forward We usually eat Grandad’s Long Bay for the day. We my mum and her partner. I to experiencing my first traditional ham plus what usually eat glazed ham, was in Wellington last year white winter Christmas. For everyone else brings over. barbeque, my uncle and with my dad. I look forward Christmas, I love a good roast Portia Woodman auntie’s famous fried rice and to chocolate almonds and pork or chicken meal with We will spend the day at our sweet and sour pork, plus sparkling grape juice – does all the trimmings, and bach up north, our slice of more traditional Samoan that count as a meal? plenty of roasted potatoes, paradise – Waimahana Bay cuisine – lots of food! Sarah Goss veggies, gravy, freshly – with Mum, Dad, brothers, Niall Williams I will spend the day at my baked bread and seafood. my niece and nephews, and I’ll spend the day in Auckland parent’s farm with my fiancé, For dessert, I love Mum’s my fiancé and baby. If it’s at with my family. With Mum my mum, dad, brother and trifles, and endless amounts our family farm, it’s a hangi, and my in-laws and we’ll sister. We usually have of cheesecakes. Yum! otherwise we’ll have roast definitely Skype my family breakfast together, so we Tyla Nathan-Wong pork with crackling, and over in Australia. We usually have waffles, bacon, eggs, I will spend the day with roasted veggies. Then lots of eat lots of different meats, hash browns, tomatoes, my grandparents, parents, desserts – pavlova, chocolate and my favourite is the mushrooms... a full on brother, sister, and Mum’s logs, trifle. seafood and desserts. cooked meal.

DECEMBER 16/JANUARY 17 | NZ RUGBY WORLD | 87 BUILDING RESILIENCE absolutely everything, despite Part of Hugh’s programme having nothing he was the is gratitude, which he says happiest person I had ever is crucial for mental well- encountered. I thought this kid being. When an athlete is has got to be onto something faced with injury instead of and I realised it was his mind feeling devastated by the lost set about thinking how lucky he opportunities, he encourages was to have opportunities to go them to focus on what they to school, to help people and have. For example, when not focus on the bad things.” league legend Billy Salter had Since then Hugh has a shoulder injury and missed developed a programme out on the State of Origin, Hugh van Cuylenburg [L] focusing on these the media asked him if he and Jonathan Thurston [R]. fundamentals in order to shift was gutted. His response Instagram people’s mind sets to help included that he gets paid to ORMER CRICKETER Mitre 10 Cup teams. enhance their mental well- play the sport he loves and AND TEACHER HUGH The crusade to assist people being. He states that positive has a wonderful family. Slater FVAN CUYLENBURG with their mental well-being emotion builds cognitive opted to focus on what he had HAS DEDICATED HIS LIFE stemmed from Hugh’s sister’s capacity. instead of what he was missing TO HELPING ATHLETES, personal struggle with anorexia, Hugh complements the out on. He now spends some EMPLOYEES AND SCHOOL which eventually saw the family programme with a well-being of his time doing random acts CHILDREN LEARN THREE advised to prepare for her journal he designed, in which of kindness, which contribute SIMPLE CONCEPTS TO ASSIST death. Hugh felt quite helpless people can complete 21 days to another one of Hugh’s tips: THEM TO COPE WITH THE with his sister, but his mind set of simple wellness tasks that empathy. PRESSURES of modern life, and the direction of his life were take less than 10 minutes a “When we do things to help help avoid mental illness and changed during a cricket trip day. The A5 size workbook is people, our brains release prevent suicide. He calls it The to India in 2008 and a three- 21 days long because research oxytocin, which makes us Resilience Project. month stint at a school in the shows that it takes 21 days to feel good. Oxytocin leads Hugh believes mental Himalayan village of Thiksey. create change in your mental to increased self-esteem health issues are an epidemic, There he met an eight year-old health and well-being. The and confidence, increased which does not spare elite boy call Stunzin Sherap. tasks are as simple as writing energy and increased levels of sportspeople. He has worked Stunzin had no family, no down three things that went happiness and positivity. with some of the biggest running water, no electricity, well for you today and what you “We also receive more names across multiple sporting lived under a cardboard box are most looking forward to information in a week than we codes including Jonathan and had shoes with the toes cut tomorrow. Hugh acknowledges use to in a year which is why Thurston, Billy Slater, Alex out as his feet were too big to that it is simple but that it works mindfulness has become so McKinnon and Mitchell Pearce. fit them anymore, but he was because working on it helps you important. Hugh has based his the happiest and most grateful to start to rewire the brain. “I know athletes who are programme on practising child Hugh had ever met. According to Hugh, we more worried about what the gratitude, empathy and “He was so grateful for are seven times more likely media are going to say when mindfulness every day. He to notice a negative than a they make a mistake on the has taken Australia by storm The Resilience Project positive, but after 21 days of field instead of being present works with three and now New Zealanders working on the journal you in the game. So we try to strategies: practising are jumping on board. Hugh gratitude, empathy and are three times more likely encourage them to enjoy the recently addressed the North mindfulness every day. to notice a positive than a occasion, focus on living in the Harbour and Counties Manukau negative. moment and not worry about

Hugh van Cuylenburg with the North Harbour and Counties Manukau Mitre 10 Cup teams.

88 | NZ RUGBY WORLD | DECEMBER 16/JANUARY 17 happy.’ ‘If I win Lotto then I will “When we do things be happy.’ Hugh believes this to help people, our is a really dangerous model brains release to live by. The reality is those PERSONAL oxytocin, which makes us feel good. Oxytocin feelings don’t last forever, leads to increased which is why we need to build DEVELOPMENT self-esteem and our resilience. With more confidence, increased resilience, when we have PHOTOS energy and increased major life-changing events levels of happiness we have the ability to get back Counties Manukau Steelers trades day. and positivity.” HUGH to where we were mentally VAN CUYLENBURG prior to the event. The speed anything else.” with which we can return to Hugh acknowledges that our previous state has a lot social media makes criticism to do with our resilience, but harder to avoid so we have clearly this will differ with the to be mentally healthy impact of the event. to deal with it. He says, Having presented to over “Mindfulness is not spiritual 150,000 people already, or philosophical. It is just Hugh has seen first-hand about spending 10 minutes the difference that adopting a day shutting off everything these strategies can make. else and giving your brain He has also started a wave of Counties Manukau a bit of a rest from what is social media popularity with learn about building his ‘Dis’ hashtag. apprenticeships from going on around you.” BCITO. He suggests some basic “Stunzin couldn’t apps, which make it simple pronounce the word ‘this’ to plug in your earphones properly, so he would say and let someone else talk ‘dis’ when he wanted me to look at something that he you through it. These are facebook.com/NZRPA Smiling Minds, Buddhify and thought was amazing. So we Headspace. encourage people to use ‘dis’ He also says that music when referring to things that and exercise can assist with they are grateful for or ‘dis putting you in a better frame moment’ when special things of mind. “It takes seven happen. It just makes people seconds of your favourite stop and appreciate what song to feel happier and they have, which can only be 30 seconds of exercise to good for mental well-being. change your mood.” For more information on @nzrpa Many people use an ‘íf and The Resilience Project visit: then’ model of happiness. Facebook: Resilience Hawke's Bay hitting the ‘If I win this game, I will feel Twitter: @Resiliency building workshop. happy,’ or ‘If I get picked for Instagram: nzrugbyplayersassoc this team, then I will feel @theresilienceproject Fijian HPU financial literacy workshop.

NZ RUGBY are developing a mental well-being website called HeadFirst. The site will provide information and awareness around mental fitness, strategies to help you stay mentally healthy, as well as key information on the signs and symptoms of a range of well-being issues such as depression, anxiety and stress. The site will also provide information on how to look after mates who might be struggling and where and how to seek help. There will be video stories from a number of players – both past and present – who will share their Fijian HPU community work day. journey through the ups and downs of life. These stories help highlight that we all have different experiences and challenges when it comes to our mental health and well-being, and that getting support can have a positive impact on the way you feel and act. HeadFirst (www. headfirst.co.nz) will be launched early in 2017 and will be a public website available to all members of the Fijian HPU wider rugby community and beyond. community work day. Continued over

DECEMBER 16/JANUARY 17 | NZ RUGBY WORLD | 89 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT PHOTOS

Bay of Plenty First Aid course.

Artwork by Luke Whitelock. Paul Ifill session with Wellington.

Canterbury at the Bay of Plenty First Aid course. Christchurch Art Gallery. Artwork by Inga Finau. PDM CONFERENCE PHOTOS

Personal Development Managers farewell Highlanders PDM Peter Sinclair.

Aiden Vince from ASB talks about player savings schemes. Kiri and Louise talking to the group about respect and inclusion.

Dr Paul Woods with 'What's Your Prison'.

90 | NZ RUGBY WORLD | DECEMBER 16/JANUARY 17 NEW PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT MANAGER FOR THE PACIFIC ISLANDS AYDEN CLARKE HAS BEEN Prior to his shift south, he had travelled can speak conversational Japanese APPOINTED THE PACIFIC around New Zealand working with and Italian and is now studying level AISLAND PLAYERS ASSOCIATION rugby players on entrepreneurship five Te Reo Maori, and is looking (PIPA) PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT and small business start-ups. forward to learning more Samoan, MANAGER (PDM). THE THIRTY-FOUR- Aayden understands the challenges Tongan and Fijian. In his spare time YEAR-OLD’S INITIAL FOCUS WILL players face first-hand having been Aayden likes to hang out with his wife BE ON ESTABLISHING A PERSONAL a professional player starting at first and three children. DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME FOR five-eighth with Hawke’s Bay, before The Pacific Island Players Personal SAMOAN AND TONGAN PLAYERS, heading offshore to Prato in Italy and Development Programme aims to WHILE SUPPORTING GAYLENE Kintetsu in Japan, where he played two provide player education to support FINEKASO, THE FIJIAN PDM. years for each team. ongoing sustainable futures for Pacific Aayden has a strong background in Aayden said, “What attracted me Island rugby players, and deliver the tertiary education industry, having to this role are the opportunities to benefits to their countries. It is the worked for the Eastern Institute of establish a meaningful programme culmination of support from World Technology as the manager of their for players who so desperately Rugby and New Zealand Rugby trades department. Aayden also deserve and need it. For our Pacific Players Association. worked as the Hawke’s Bay Rugby Island players it is about setting up Contact Aayden Clarke: Personal Development Manager a worldwide strategy that will be [email protected] facebook.com/NZRPA for two years prior to moving to effective given the global scale of Follow PIPA on Twitter: Christchurch, where he was employed where our players are based.” @PacificIslandPA by Ngai Tahu as a project manager. He is interested in languages and www.pacificislandpa.com

PIPA Personal Development Manager Aayden Clarke in Samoa. @nzrpa

Business partners nzrugbyplayersassoc

Send a hunting or fishing photo and you Winner! LIAM caught could WIN $250 worth these three pigs in Nelson on his of Stoney Creek gear break before the end-of-year of your choice! tour. He caught a 50kg (112lb) The good folk at Stoney Creek have given us a boar, a 40kg (90lb) boar and Preferential providers $250 credit for someone to spend on any Stoney a 45kg (100lb) Creek merchandise of your choice. We know you sow this day. He like things simple, so send us your best high wants to say a resolution (that means we can print it, so needs to massive thanks to Dean Kinzett be 300kb in photo size) hunting or fishing photo to and Ted ‘The [email protected] and the best photo wins. Mad Butcher’ for Winner will be contacted by email to arrange your Liam Squire with taking him out. Taine Kinzett and His dogs Pip, shopping trip and the picture published in the Charlie Teddy. Pride and Fly next magazine. loved it!

DECEMBER 16/JANUARY 17 | NZ RUGBY WORLD | 91