TIMEOUT.COM/LONDON December 1 ñ 7 2020 No. 2602

Into the unknown Enter Londonís hidden world of sphinxes, sewage and ancient ruins

ILLUSTRATION: DAN EVANS; MEAL KIT: TAKE CUVÉE BY LOIC SALAN; MANK: NETFLIX black and white Cook it yourself ‘Citizen Kane’ is a five-star marvel ‘Mank’, David Fincher’s paean to Right Right there in Useless in the kitchen? Not any restaurants’ fanciest meal kits more. We test some of London PAGE 32 PAGE 42 Inside This issue ofTimeOut This issue 6 in notimeatall City life 22 Exclusive 23 offers Things to Do 32 Food & Drink 36 Love Local 40 Escapes 42 Time In 10 Global briefing Artists Artists Walks. Find something great displaying their works outside for London’s visual creatives are Street S art 12 Hidden London local to you PAGE 24 FEATURES AND REGULARS 3 you canhave afestive day using just 18 An online 20 London’s best croissants Our intrepid correspondent sees if if sees intrepid correspondent Our Have yourself a merry the internet andhomedeliveries virtual virtual hh ld bl hi When Wh this bloody PAGE 18 Outers Outers have been pining for this year Lockdown longings: see what Time war is over December 1–72020 PAGE 8

Time Out London Time Time Out LondonDecember 1–72020 Time is doing its annual winter toy appeal Local Buyer’s Club THE THE EDITOR’S ESSENTIALS for disadvantaged children. @timeoutlondon @j_mackertich London Editor Joe Mackertich SUPPORT this And credit to have you Londoners lot: with few the months last coped something about surrounding oneself with top-notch visualculture withtop-notch surrounding oneself about something remember, theatreisaformoflive thatinvolves entertainment small expression andI’mexpression sure not ifanyone’s theirhairsincemid- brushed admirably. we’ve Imean, crazed ofpermanently asort alldeveloped with my (two by girlfriendanddog the way). different beings, Both described meas‘incurious’ and‘aggressively butthere’sdescribed shallow’), tubs of ice cream, periods of sustained bowing and LOUD VOICES)? andLOUDVOICES)? bowing ofsustained oficecream,periods tubs opens up again. What are you most looking forward to? Eating food forwardto? upagain.Whatare you looking opens Eatingfood most October, butwe heldittogether, didn’t we? Now, mewhileI excuse local gallery.local I’m (friendshave person even not arty aparticularly Get involved. your living room? whodon’t Finally to going thetheatre (forthose that does the soul a world of good. Either that or going forapint Eitherthatorgoing aworld thesoul ofgood. that does Chances are,Chances you’re inLondon everything before readingthisjust you didn’t cook yourself? Watchingyou that’s afilmsomewhere didn’t yourself? not cook go backto‘orderinggo rehearsing apint’inmy mirror. bathroom Somewhat unexpectedly,Somewhat I’m toback get my gagging in north London London Hello, facebook.com/timeoutlondon activities wouldgreat. activities be Check out south London with their bus! fresh food to chronically underserved underserved areas of …AND this Be Enriched , serving Three things youThree things have to doinLondon @timeoutlondon 4 children’s rainbow drawings made The V&A opens on Tuesday with a recently announced exhibition of during lockdown. Aww. SEE this timeout.com/news NOT FOR RESALE 020 7813 3000 www.timeout.com London, WC1X 9JY. 77 Wicklow Street, Time Out Digital Ltd Photography Andy Parsons Cover Julio Bruno Time Out Group CEO Minesh Shah MD Global E-commerce Nicki Wymer, Zara Taylor Management Lead), Junior Olokodana (Project Project Management Nicola Foxwell Charlie Liddington, Wayne Mensah (Director), Creative Solutions Emma Myland Hooper, Robyn Eldridge, Nesha Fleischer, James Grant, Banbha O’Hagan, Natalie Reynolds, Juliet Ian Tournes (Director), Advertising Sales MD EMEA Lawrence Horne Commercial Support Katie Mulhern-Bhudia Production, Admin and Sales Dave Faulkner Head of Production Photographer Andy Parsons Ben Rowe Picture Desk Manager Art Director Bryan Mayes Editor International Commissioning Ellie Walker-Arnott International Travel Editor James Manning International Editor Sam Willis Engagement Editor Drink Editor Laura Richards London Digital Director/ Jordan Waller Head of Digital Content George Blew Commercial Copywriter Julia Robinson Commercial Designer Editor Rose Johnstone Global Branded Content Stephen Farmer Global Commercial Editor Andrzej Łukowski Culture Eddy Frankel and (Global Editor) Film Phil de Semlyen (Deputy Editor) (Editor), Alexandra Sims Events Isabelle Aron (Editor) News & City Life Features Kate Lloyd (Editor) Sarah Cohen Deputy Editor Chief Sub Editor Sub Deputy Editor/Chief London Editor Joe Mackertich Caroline McGinn Global Editor-in-Chief [email protected] Circulation [email protected] Advertising 7813 6000, Huw Oliver Katie McCabe Chris Waywell

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2 guests 2 yes City life

Edited by Isabelle Aron @timeoutlondon

How communities thrived this year Locals have always come together on Ridley Road, but throughout this year, Londoners have shown the true power of supporting each other on this Dalston street and beyond

WHETHER IT’S WALKING the same local park has grown stronger this year. This photo (above) Ridley Road’s sense of community has become loop you do every day or getting hooked on shows local seamstress Elvine Ohlala, wearing increasingly important in this Very Weird Year. fancy pastries from the bakery down the road, clothes she made with material from the market. ‘It’s a space that’s become more relevant since Londoners have been getting to know their local The image is part of ‘Ridley Road Stories’, an Covid,’ says Travis. ‘People have said to me that areas in intimate detail in ‰Š‰Š. In some ways, outdoor exhibition by artist collective Future it’s a space where they feel safe and can meet our worlds have become smaller, and as a result, Hackney. The group’s founder, Don Travis, grew people from their own communities.’ During something else happened too. Communities up in the area and wanted to document the road’s the pandemic, Ridley Road locals have come across the city have come together to properly community. ‘Ridley Road is an iconic public together to support each other. ‘There’s a guy support each other. Mutual aid groups have space. There are no Café Neros, no Costas: it’s called Abraham who’s run a food stall there for grown into community-run food banks, people completely independent,’ she explains. ‘It’s a years. Throughout Covid, they’ve had families have ditched big supermarkets to support indie social space that caters for everybody. It has such come to them that can’t afford food, and they’ve shops and, against all odds, Londoners have a diverse range of cultures, particularly African given them food baskets,’ says Travis. ‘To even befriended their neighbours. and Caribbean. I think that is London’s essence – me, that is community. You won’t get that in That kind of community spirit has always a place that welcomes people from everywhere. Sainsbury’s.’  Isabelle Aron

been found on Ridley Road in Dalston, but it We need to retain that and to document it.’ ‘Ridley Road Stories’. The Red Cross, 92 Dalston Lane. Free. LLOYD KATE BLOOM: IN KONO; YOSHITAKA BAPTISTE: DANE BREITSTEIN; K TOVE FARM: ANDREOU; CHRISTOPHER STORIES: ROAD RIDLEY

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 6 City life DO- GOODERS

Four great London causes we BINNEY want to highlighth right now STREET W1

THE STREET THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Comedian Dane Baptiste remembers his first stand-up gig

CORKS WINE BAR on Binney Street, off Oxford Street, is where I first stood on stage and told jokes. The comedian Kojo Anim ran an amazing comedy night there. My friend was a regular and said to Kojo: Washed Up Cards Fat Macy’s Spitalfields Munch in ‘Dane loves comedy, I want They say ‘When I was They say ‘We get City Farm Marylebone him to have a set.’ Kojo was furloughed, I started Londoners out They say ‘We’re They say ‘We want to like: ‘Cool, he can have five making greetings of temporary creating opportunities empower women at the minutes in two weeks.’ cards with plastic I accommodation for senior citizens to Marylebone Project The night arrived. I was found while beach- and into their own engage with nature.’ with catering skills and trying to be so humble that cleaning on the River homes, through the Emma Pestridge, build their confidence I waited in the queue to Thames. I hope they power of food.’ education through volunteering.’ go in, even though I was spread awareness of Meg Doherty, coordinator Ruhamah Sonson, performing. You don’t want plastic pollution.’ Flora founder Why we love centre team leader to act like you’re better Blathwayt, founder Why we it The farm’s Why we love it This than anybody because if Why we love it Washed love it This campaign group works with a Black audience doesn’t Up Cards is helping catering tackles women supported by like you, you’ll know. I got to clean up the city company loneliness homelessness charity there, and everyone was with cute stationery is a social in older the Marylebone there: my college friends, that proves you can enterprise that Londoners, helping Project to develop my university friends, my make treasure out offers training to help them get outdoors. catering skills. cousin’s friends. I was like, of trash. people earn money for How to helpDonate via How to helpNeed to ‘Why is everyone here? I How to help Buy the a rental deposit. TheBigGive. Pledges feed a crowd? Order its didn’t tell anyone about it, cards on Etsy or join a How to help Buy a Fat made before December food. All profits go back so if I fucked it up, nobody beach clean-up event. Macy’s hamper. ˜ will be doubled. into the organisation. would know!’ @ washedupcards www.fatmacys.org www.spitalfieldscityfarm.org munchinmarylebone.org.uk My set was about dogs, dating and the difference between men and women. It went well. A few weeks later, Binney Street became the first place I was paid THE VIEW FROM YOU to do comedy – ‰Š‹ for a ten-minute set. It changed We want to see snaps of your local shops’ Christmas window displays my life. Being paid to do something you like? My head exploded. I’ve been It’s been a year of cancellations paid more to do comedy but Christmas is coming and shops since, but that feeling all over the city are giving their will never be the same. ■ Interview by Bobby Palmer window displays a seasonal glow- Dane Baptiste’s sketch show up, like this cute twinkling scene at ‘Bamous’ airs on BBC Three soon. Columbia Road’s In Bloom. Want to share a festive window display from your neighbourhood? Use #timeoutlondon on Instagram or email [email protected] Explore more of the city at timeout.com/thingstodo

7 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London City life Post-lockdown longings Short days, cold weather and banana bread fatigue. Lockdown  has been weird, hasn’t it? Time Out staff share the one thing they can’t wait to do when it lifts

Laura Richards Kate Lloyd Katie McCabe Digital director Features editor Events editor ‘Screw my shit circulation. I want to wrap my ‘I’ll go to Hoxton boxing gym Fighter Fit. ‘It feels odd that I miss doing something deadened paws around a pint in the cold. I’ll be out of shape as I’ve spent Lockdown alone, but I want to sink into the darkness Namely, at Greenwich’s Trafalgar Tavern, 2 eating and lounging, but then I’ll feel of a BFI Southbank screening room. with the lapping Thames to distract me.’ good again. It will be horrible and I’ll love it.’ Watching a film on your own is exhilarating.’ Park Row. 2-4 Rufus St. Belvedere Rd.

Rose Johnstone Isabelle Aron Eddy Frankel Global branded content editor News and city life editor Culture editor ‘There’s nothing like seeing musical theatre ‘I miss going out for dinner: fancy bread ‘I’m getting a big bag of cans and going live, plastic cup of overpriced pinot grigio and butter, the atmosphere, not being at to€watch a bunch of men who aren’t very in hand. I’ve got tickets to the poptastic my kitchen table, the lot. I can’t wait to go good at football kick a ball around in the “Six” and I can’t bloody wait.’ to Westerns Laundry, one of my faves.’ cold at Walthamstow FC.’ Lyric Theatre. 34 Drayton Park. Wadham Lodge Sports Ground. SIX THE MUSICAL: JOHAN PERSSON; WESTERNS LAUNDRY: PATRICIA NIVEN; WALTHAMSTOW FC: FC: WALTHAMSTOW NIVEN; PATRICIA LAUNDRY: WESTERNS PERSSON; JOHAN PARSONS MUSICAL: THE ANDY SIX PANDEMIC: FIRST MY AND WALK PARKLAND PERKINS; ANDRZEJ

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 8 City life W RD READY-MADE SUNDAY O N T HE Sara Pascoe’s Crouch End STREET The comedian, podcaster and north London local shares her tips for a chilled weekend in N The most ridiculous things we’ve overheard in London this week

‘Don’t you think the concept of putting your bins out is weird?’ ‘Drink that, it will put some hair on your nipples.’

The Parkland Walk ‘You don’t need to wash flannels, they 9am Veg out five or six screens so they show all wash themselves.’ The Haberdashery café has loads of of the lesser-known films as well vegan options, from porridge to big the big ones. And you can get a big ‘I’ll drink anything fried breakfasts. The owner has a glass of red wine from the bar and that’s wet.’ sausage dog and when I take my dog fancy popcorn in weird flavours like in they bring biscuits and water for peppercorn and cheddar. ‘Highgate has him, which is adorable. actually become 7pm Have a ruby more alive in 11am Take a leafy stroll I like the tofu curry at Tootoomoo, The [southern part of] Parkland Walk a Thai restaurant where they do lockdown. It was goes from the corner of Finsbury lovely fragrant dishes. They also do dead before.’ Park all the way to Highgate station. incredible (and strong) cocktails. From there you can walk through ‘Apparently Highgate Village and go to the Heath 8pm Get some lols it’s illegal to if you want to take a longer stroll. It’s The King’s Head usually has a suspiciously a lovely, leafy part of north London. comedy club downstairs. It’s a small venue but there’s a fantastic handle a fish.’ 2pm Screen time atmosphere. It’s one of the places In normal times, Crouch End where I first did comedy, so I have a ‘I’d love to marry Picturehouse is fantastic. They have fondness for it. ■ a Tarquin.’ ‘I thought S&M meant sex and magic.’ ‘I can’t wait to get my LONDON MAKERS lips around one of Santa’s yumnuts.’ Struggling to make sense of this year? ‘That fart is East London-based illustrator Jenni well sulphur.’ Sparks’s My First Pandemic zine might help. It’s filled with witty illustrations ‘Her teeth terrify me.’ from her quarantine diary and it comes with a free ‘‡ˆ‡ˆ Can Fuck Off’ sticker. My First Pandemic zine. £8. www.jennisparks.com Overheard something weird? Tweet us #wordonthestreet @timeoutlondon

9 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London City life

Edited by James Manning timeout.com/travel @timeouteverywhere

YOUR WORLD ACCORDING TO TIME OUT

The best stories from our editors around the globe

NYC’s subway is getting a celebrity soundtrack

USA while his followers have suggested WORLDWIDE Come ‚‚, there will be new voices Lady Gaga, Sarah Jessica Parker, London is officially really good telling NYC’s straphangers to stand the Wu-Tang Clan and Larry David. This year hasn’t put the best spin on city life, clear of the closing doors. The MTA Local legends and unsung heroes but before you pack up and move to darkest (New York’s equivalent of TfL) and could also qualify for the pro bono Berkshire, check out the latest annual best cities Instagrammer @NewYorkNico are gig. Seriously, someone at London’s report by Resonance Consultancy. Ranking tracking down iconic New Yorkers transport network needs to get factors as varied as weather, diversity and number to record announcements for the Stephen Fry, David Attenborough of parks, it ranked the world’s top  cities to subway and bus networks. Nico’s and Michaela Coel on the blower. live. And who’s that at number one? Only bloody wishlist includes Robert De Niro, Shaye Weaver, Time Out New York London, taking the top spot for the fifth year Jerry Seinfeld and Rosie Perez, www.instagram.com/newyorknico running, with New York and Paris trailing behind. See, you moved here for a reason. James Manning www.bestcities.org LARRY DAVID: S_BUKLEY/SHUTTERSTOCK; ROSIE PEREZ: LEV RADIN/SHUTTERSTOCK; BENCH: OBJECT STUDIO; STUDIO; OBJECT BENCH: RADIN/SHUTTERSTOCK; LEV REED PEREZ: NICOLE ROSIE BY S_BUKLEY/SHUTTERSTOCK; PHOTO DAVID: KING, LARRY LISA BY CAFE MERRIMENT ARCADE: STUDIO; EXPERIENCE CHANGI AIRPORT:

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 10 City life

Get the latest from cities worldwide at timeout.com/news

NETHERLANDS Someone finally invented a portable social-distancing bench Damp grass is a real downside of park meets during Lockdown ‰Š‹. So kudos to Amsterdam design firm Object Studio, which has come up with the CoronaCrisisKruk: a nifty little portable bench with a handle that’s designed to help you socialise outdoors in a safely distanced way. You can order a customised version online, with profits going to Doctors Without Borders. That’s Christmas sorted, then. Huw Oliver www.object-studio.com/coronacrisiskruk

SINGAPORE The world’s greatest airport is now also a glampsite A night at the airport usually means a flight delay or a long layover. But given Singapore’s travel restrictions, an overnight stay at Changi Airport (regularly named the world’s best) is an appealing way to scratch the old wanderlust. From now until January, Singaporeans can book a luxe tent pitched inside the Jewel Changi airport mall, either surrounded by an artificial jungle or with a view of the world’s biggest indoor waterfall. Beats kipping across a couple of lounge seats with your carry-on as a pillow. Fabian Loo, Time Out Singapore www.changiairport.com

AUSTRALIA ’s new ‘artcade’ is a thing of beauty Melbourne has lots of shopping arcades. Melbourne has lots of street art. Now a new shopping precinct is finally combining the two. West Side Place is part retail space, part public art gallery, with large-scale, PORTUGAL immersive installations from Porto has a thing for terrifying bridges leading Australian artists. That Last month, the world’s longest suspension includes Reko Rennie’s ginormous footbridge opened in Arouca, just outside Porto. mural honouring the Kamilaroi It runs for a third of a mile over a vertiginous river people, Adnate’s massive portraits canyon… oh, and it’s see-through. Should be paying tribute to Indigenous enough to draw in the adrenaline junkies, right? peoples around the world and one But now the Porto city region has announced a of Rone’s signature artistically similar but even longer bridge, spanning the River dilapidated rooms. They’ll be on Douro in the Torre de Moncorvo district. You can show for six months before the check out the plans online. Though if you have a stores move in. Seriously, why can’t fear of heights, maybe give this one a swerve. JM all shopping centres be this cool? www.ponte516arouca.com. www.cm-moncorvo.pt Nicola Dowse, Time Out Melbourne

11 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London London’s secret wonders Use your winter of walks to rediscover your city. Kate Lloyd and Huw Oliver share a guide to London’s weirdest, oldest and most magical bits

it from very low down? Edgy. Cool. Outstandingly So you, right? In that case you should probably know that when tranquil the tide is out, the river Thames Chill spots you’ve probably shrinks, revealing strips of sandy not discovered yet beach running alongside the South Bank and under the Millennium Bridge. From there you can gaze up The giraffes at the centre of London like you’re a Did you know that if you head tiny pathetic mouse. 1 along London Zoo’s perimeter Thames Embankment, SE1. path in Regent’s Park you can see the giraffes for free? Free giraffes, The Wimbledon windmill everybody! Peek through gaps All it takes is a few minutes’ in the hedge to catch forbidden 3 walk on to Wimbledon glimpses of them flaunting their Common to feel like you’re necks and chomping on leaves, interrailing around Europe with you big perv. a load of †‡-year-old Australians. Regent’s Park. That’s thanks to a twee black-and- white windmill that’s been in the The secret beach by park since †‡†‰ and that looks ever Millennium Bridge so Dutch. It’s got a museum inside 2 There’s a lot of talk about but you don’t care about that. Go seeing the London skyline from take your Instagrams and begone.

very high up, but what about seeing Windmill Rd, W19. PARSONS ANDY

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 12 Secret London

MAKE A DAY OF IT

St Dunstan- in-the-East Practically in the shadow of the Walkie Talkie and next to a Premier Inn, you’ll find a peaceful, ancient place that just doesn’t seem to fit in… Since it was bombed-out during the war, the picturesque ruins of medieval church St Dunstan- in-the-East have been overrun by nature, creating an idyllic spot in the City’s most business area. Leaves and vines now cling to the Grade I-listed stone arches. Spend a morning reading a book here – we recommend something set in London in WWII, like ‘The Night Watch’ or ‘The End of the Affair’ – before popping across Tower Bridge for a takeaway from The Vault 1894 (SE1 2UP). St Dunstan’s Hill, EC3R 5DD.

Crystal Palace’s Egyptian Terrace 4Sure, Crystal Palace’s wonky dinosaurs are cool but they’re also attention hogs: ‘Oh wah, my body’s not anatomically correct: come laugh at me!’ Shut up, dino. True stans of the park will tell you the best bit is at the other end, where you’ll find six sphinxes guarding a grand staircase to nowhere. They’re the remains of the original Crystal Palace, which burned down in  and they are eerie af. Upper Terrace, Crystal Palace Parade, SE19.

Severndroog Castle Its name sounds like 5 something out of Redwall and it kind of looks that way too: a triangular gothic folly, surrounded by woodland, at the top of Shooter’s St Dunstan-in-the-East Hill above Woolwich. It was

13 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Secret London

The Wimbledon windmill

Crystal Palace’s Egyptian Terrace

built in the eighteenth century by a grieving widow as a tribute to her later husband’s greatest escapade: destroying a band of pirates in their Indian fortress of Suvarnadurg (rendered in English as ‘Severndroog’). Nowadays, it’s a great excuse to do a hill walk. Castle Wood, SE18. Oliver Cromwell’s secret island EXPERT’S PICK 6Wander down the river in Kew, past Legends Boxing Club Lordship and The Greyhound pub and you’ll Lane’s wine come across an island. This wooded palm spot is rumoured to be a place ‘In the centre of the where Oliver Cromwell once took mini-roundabout refuge via a secret tunnel from the that connects riverbank. There’s not much fact to Lordship Lane back that yarn up. But that doesn’t to East Dulwich take away from how magical this Road there is a little lump looks. magnificent jubaea Kew Bridge. chilensis, otherwise known as a Chilean The Spriggan Severndroog Castle wine palm (the sap Finsbury’s Parkland Walk can be turned into 7was nice to walk down even a type of wine). before the Spriggran arrived. This These palms are disused railway track is overgrown getting your wife executed for Highbury River Walk endangered in their with ivy and is very pretty. Then an treason. What do you get up to when Duck down a snick by busy natural habitat, a arts officer decided to turn it into a the beheading happens? Quick bev? 9Canonbury Road and you’ll small area in central sculpture walk and commissioned Trip to Ye Olde Nando’s? Apparently, suddenly land at a riverside so Chile, and are rarely just one artwork – a fairy bodyguard King Henry VIII stood at this spot in tranquil it feels like ‘The Animals of seen in the UK. crawling out of the wall by Crouch Pembroke Lodge Gardens to watch Farthing Wood’. This •–—km nature But despite being End Station – before they gave up. a rocket fired from the Tower of path has been around since the surrounded by cars, Florence Rd, N4 3EY. London to let him know the deed seventeenth century; that’s when this one is thriving. was done. Fair play. It remains one the New River was created: a canal I love it.’ King Henry’s Mound of the best spots in the city for seeing that doubled the water supply to a Wes Shaw, head of Okay, so let’s say you’re the panoramic views of the skyline. city that faced major shortages. horticulture at

8king of England and you’re Queen’s Rd, TW10 5HX. 52 Canonbury Rd, N1 2HS. the Horniman MANSFIELD/ALAMY CHRIS CASTLE: NOPPAWAN09/SHUTTERSTOCK; WINDMILL: TRAVELS/SHUTTERSTOCK: CK Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 14 Secret London

Stretcher railings Bits of Old London Bridge In plain sight From afar, they look a bit Chances are you’ve perched in Quirks of London’s streets, 3like, y’know, some pretty 5one of the two stone alcoves in parks and landmarks conventional railings. Your steel Viccy Park at some point or another, bars. Your mesh. Decent job there. giving little thought as to how they But the fencing around several got there. That would be totally fair Lombard St’s old signs estates in Peckham, Brixton, Oval enough. But it is weird to think they Imagine the pressure. In fact, and Deptford were originally EXPERT’S once stood on the old London Bridge 1imagine the freedom. ‘Logos’ stretchers used to carry wounded PICK (the one that kept ‘falling down’), aren’t a thing yet, and you’ve got to during the Blitz, You’ll can spot before they were plonked in east come up with an image to front your them by the kinks in the frame, Aerials on London around –— years ago for business on London’s banking street. which served as feet to rest them on. the Admiralty Victorian goths to simply hang and There were once  signs here. Multiple locations. ‘On a roof in chill and look a bit dejected in. Only four remain: a grasshopper, an Whitehall is Victoria Park, E9. anchor, a cat and a crown. Fake houses near a network of Lombard St, EC3V 9LJ. Hyde Park short-wave radio 4Tall, graceful and faced aerials used for Pickering Place with white stucco, they may make communications Back in  , Texas was a look like any other posh London by the government 2fledgling republic taken townhouses – but two buildings department which seriously enough for Britain to let on upmarket terrace Leinster runs the Royal Navy. MAKE A it open a full-on embassy off St Gardens are, in fact, impostors: These little-noticed James’s Street. It was pretty hard five-foot-thick façades with no agas aerials have to find, mind. Today, you’ll spot a or ‘cinema rooms’ behind them at been in place for DAY OF IT sign commemorating the site in all. When the first Underground decades, probably Pickering Place, also the spot where line was dug, the houses were since the Cold War.’ London’s last duel took place. Bring demolished to allow smoke from Dr Elizabeth The smallest police your Beyblades along and continue trains out. The District and Circle Bruton, a curator station in the UK the tradition. lines still use the tracks. at the Science Stealthily secreted inside Pickering Place, SW1A 1EA. 23 and 24 Leinster Gardens, W2 3BH. Museum the base of a street light, this is Britain’s smallest police station, built before WWII so the Met could keep an eye on troublemaking protesters in Trafalgar Square. Given the obvious Tardis associations, it’s tempting to imagine it’s perception-smashingly massive on the inside. In reality, it’s just one very small room (now literally a broom cupboard), only ever intended to hold a single police officer. Case of the hunger pangs? Grab a vegan cake and Greek coffee from Black Box (WC2H 7JA), just around the corner, or if you’re after something heftier, try the sizzling meat dishes at Café TPT (W1D 6PN). Once you’re home, dig into Dorian Lynskey’s epic history of the protest song, ‘33 Revolutions Per Minute’. Trafalgar Square, WC1N 5NJ.

Police station, Trafalgar Square ANDY PARSONS ANDY

15 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Secret London

to be a ‘palladium’ – an object in town: Tothill in Westminster, Wisdom of protecting the city’s wellbeing. the White Mound at the Tower It’s doing a bit of a shit job at the of London, Parliament Hill on the ancients moment if that’s the case. Hampstead Heath and Penton in MAKE A Really, really, really, really, 111 Cannon St. EC4N 5AR. Pentonville. Crawl these humps really, really old stuff and think about what London could The tomb of the have been like if the Romans hadn’t DAY OF IT unknown London girl invaded. (Probably quite bad, tbh.) The fossils at 4 The bottom of a skyscraper Multiple locations. St Paul’s Cathedral might not be the first spot you’d Roman walls 1 Don’t think you have to run look for a Roman burial ground, but A very old statue If there’s one thing that off to the Jurassic Coast whenever that’s where you’ll find the tomb of a One place you’re probably not really got Romans off, it was building walls. When those you’ve got a thirst for palaeontology. teenager who died between AD Ž 6expecting to see an ancient London’s paved streets are actually and ‘ . Her body was found when artefact is just around the corner lads weren’t fighting Asterix, home to a host of preserved an IRA bomb exploded on St Mary from a Victoria’s Secret. But that’s they were encircling cities prehistoric creatures. Take the steps Axe in ””• and reburied in a shiny where you’ll find the lion goddess in brick. Londinium was no at the main entrance to St Paul’s box when the Gherkin was built. Sekhmet, dating from Ž• BC. exception. You’re probably Cathedral. Trapped in the polished 30 St Mary Axe, EC3A 8BF. The Ancient Egyptian knick-knack aware that back in AD 200 the flagstones, right by the door, you’ll sits perched above Sotheby’s. In original boundaries of this city find ancient cephalopods. Druidic mounds the ž s its buyer never collected were marked and protected St Paul’s Churchyard, EC4M 8AD. Fancy vibing with our Celtic it and now it’s the auction house’s by 85,000 tons of Kentish ragstone but did you know you 5ancestors? Well, rumour has mascot. Cute rich people larks! The site of London’s it there are four druidic mounds 34-35 New Bond St, W1A 2AA. can still see bits of that big first coffee house ol’ wall now? In fact, you can walk a 3.5km route from Tower 2Back in the  s the only way to get a caffeine hit in London was Hill to Barbican (via Aldgate with a trip to a little nook behind London’s Roman wall and Bishopsgate) to view its Leadenhall Market. There you’d find remains dotted through the London’s OG coffee house, selling City. And if you do decide to do sweet, sweet juice made from beans that, can we recommend a few imported from Turkey. Find the stop-offs? Black Sheep Coffee plaque marking the spot and nail a (EC3R 8DR) for a jolt of caffeine thermos of filter to pay tribute to our to power you through your stroll, most buzzing ancestors. Birley Sandwiches (EC2M 1JJ) St Michael’s Alley,EC3V 9DS. to pick up a snack to eat at the finish line: some Roman fort The London Stone ruins at 3 Noble Street. Buried away on the side of Multiple locations. Search for 3 a building on Cannon Street ‘London Wall Walk’ and you’ll find you’ll find a big lump of rock that a Google Map of them all. a) is very old, and b) apparently has occult significance. Believed to have been in the city since  , the London Stone was once thought

St Michael’s Alley (site of London’s first coffee house)

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 16 Secret London

MAKE A DAY OF IT

‘The Cathedral of Sewage’ You can understand why Joseph Balzagette might have been a little shitted off. He was an urban-planning god, but almost all his works were out of sight. (They were sewers.) So when he did get to design anything above ground, he ran properly wild. In an otherwise not-that- scenic patch of Bromley-by- Bow, the still-functioning Abbey Mills Pumping Station is his masterpiece. It’s ridiculously ornate and topped with a grand cupola that makes you think of St Petersburg. See it on the east London section of the Capital Ring Walk, which runs right past. The Nunnery Gallery’s café (181 Bow Rd, E3 2SJ) does decent flat whites, and if it’s more like dinner time, order a kebab from Sultan Sofrasi (73 Parnell Rd, E3 2RU). When you get in, whack on ‘Batman Begins’: the Arkham Asylum EXPERT’S scene should feel familiar. PICK Abbey Mills Pumping Station, E15 2RW. London’s whaling secrets ‘In Greenwich, there Abbey Mills Pumping Station are the remains of the wharves where whaling ships would come back from the Bunhill burial ground. Originally Arctic and offload. The Hardy Tree Weird and dark named ‘bone hill’ after thousands At low tide around As though ghosts are rising Grim stuff, gross stuff and a lot of skeletons were transferred here these areas you 4from beneath the surface of of graveyards to be honest from the charnel house of old St can sometimes see the earth, overlapping headstones Paul’s in the sixteenth century, this fragments of whale encircle an ash tree in the yard of eerie cemetery near Old Street may bones in the mud St Pancras Old Church. Expanding Hyde Park Dog Cemetery have been used as a plague pit too. of the foreshore. nineteenth-century railway lines Some died of gluttony, others Look out for William Blake. In Barnet, there is meant that remains from a swathe 1fell beneath the wheels. A 38 City Rd, EC1Y 2BG. a hidden example of the graveyard had to be exhumed. certain Balu was even poisoned. of a whalebone Tasked with relocating the stones? This fenced-off Victorian canine St George’s Nature arch – the lower Architect’s assistant Thomas Hardy. graveyard in the back garden of the Study Museum jawbones of a huge Saint Pancras Gardens, NW1 0PS. park’s Victoria Lodge brims with 3‘A temple of nature in the least blue whale, set sorry tales. They hadn’t quite nailed romantic centre of the metropolis’ into the ground to London’s biggest dog names back then – see ‘Scum’, – that’s how the former guardians of form a gateway into potted plant ‘Freeky’ and ‘King of Pussies’. this building in Shadwell described Whalebones Park. 5Your cheeseplant has nothing Hyde Park, W2 2NB. the mini-museum it once housed. Most people don’t on Highgate Cemetery’s comically Children, unused to seeing wildlife, even notice them.’ enormous cedar of Lebanon. A huge Bunhill Fields would come here to goggle at newts. Richard C Sabin, circle of mausoleums creates the Ever thought that the City The boarded-up structure is now principal curator, impression of a pot enclosing this 2practically stinks of death covered in wire, bent into Biblical mammals at the tree, which predates the rest of the and decay? Could be all the musty snippets; unclear why, exactly. Natural History graveyard by a century. ■

WALL: ANDY PARSONS; COFFEE HOUSE: MS BRETHERTON/ALAMY; JACK TAYLOR/GETTY JACK BRETHERTON/ALAMY; MS HOUSE: COFFEE PARSONS; ANDY WALL: old bankers – or maybe the ancient 14 Cannon Street Rd, E1 0BH. Museum Highgate Cemetery, N6 6PJ.

17 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London TEST- DRIVING DIGITAL CHRISTMAS

In , you could easily have all your festive fun at home via a computer screen. But should you? Andrzej Łukowski finds out what works and what doesn’t. Illustration Dan Evans

The virtual office brisk trade: as Nason points out, Christmas party there is something a little depressing Of all the things definitely not – not to mention impractical – about happening this Christmas, the a bunch of workmates just getting traditional office Christmas party tanked up over Zoom, so many is the one definitely not happening companies have been opting for the most. However, there would something more wholesome. now appear to be an almost endless How Christmassy is it? It’s more like number of Zoom-based digital a bonding session than a party. But Market’s Botanique Workshop (from The digital alternatives. I rope Phil our it’s all very pleasant, and ‰Š­, botaniqueworkshop.com) does The London pantomime season, Film editor into a guided I have no regrets the a wreath-making set that requires such as it is, will limp on, but it’s chocolate-tasting next day, which is a relatively little skill, but quite a lot of limited in scale and won’t be for all. courtesy of Notting significant step up on time and patience: it’s mindful, baby. So why not try a digital alternative? Hill chocolatier every actual Time But we make a genuinely gorgeous- Comedy troupe Sleeping Trees (‰‹, Melt (‰Š‹ per Out Christmas looking wreath. Hurrah! And the www.thesleepingtrees.co.uk) person, www. shindig. mince-pie kit sold by Poster Bakes have become a fringe fixture meltchocolates. (‰ ‚, posterbakes.com) is ultra- at Theatre ‹­˜ and BAC with com). You get nine The Christmas unintimidating (the instructions their zany DIY pantos. This year slabs of chocolate craft kits suggest using a wine bottle if you they’ve gone digital with the pre- delivered, then a There is a ­­ percent don’t have a rolling pin), makes a recorded ‘The Legend of Moby Dick gloriously sardonic accurate argument that very fancy pie and raises money for Whittington’, an inspired hour- Š‹-minute masterclass says I could have just ordered a good cause, with all profits going to long mash-up of ‘Dick Whittington’ from company CEO Andrew Nason, a pre-made wreath and mince The Connection at St Martin’s. and ‘Moby Dick’. who frames the story of chocolate as pies. But a key point of Christmas How Christmassy is it? Spending five How Christmassy is it? It’s really a sort of tragic descent from Aztec ‚­‚­ is that we are all going to have hours assembling a wreath certainly good fun – but without any audience Eden to Swiss milk-chocolate hell. a horrifying amount of time on reminds you that Christmas is or interaction it feels more like a These sessions have been doing a our hands. So kits it is. Exmouth around the corner, yes. sketch show than a panto.

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 18 Plan more festive fun at timeout.com/christmas

Minecraft and dinosaurs for ten minutes, which is more substantial than the usual grotto bants. How Christmassy is it? If you believe in Santa, very. Obviously you don’t get a present, but it’s worth remembering that all grotto presents are terrible anyway. The booze, delivered Mulled wine is one of those things I’ve always had down as a bit of a faff, but Shop Cuvée (, www.shopcuvee.com) sends me a cracking, punchy bottle that requires zero faffing around with bits: just heat until it’s hot enough, and boom! East London brewery Signature Brew (†‡, www.signaturebrew.co.uk) is doing something called a Pub in a Box – it’s basically some beers, but they’re very nice beers, and it comes with an endearingly crappily photographed music quiz to do on Zoom. How Christmassy is it? I’d probably file this all under ‘winter drinks’ rather than say it embodies the magic of Christmas per se. The Christmas lunch DIY box To this Pole, it would seem that a lot of the truisms about Christmas Day being stressful stem from the English insistence on cooking an enormous, esoteric kind of poultry for lunch, for no obvious symbolic or religious reason. But can the new generation of meal kits take the stress out of lunch? The short answer is ‘yes’. Jun Tanaka’s Fitzrovia restaurant The Ninth (—— for two, www.theninthlondon.com) does a fine example, with a turkey ballotine forming the heart of a box that puts a classy spin on the trad lunch, eg belle de fontenay potatoes instead A jolly of roasties. It would be a slight The tree in the post How Christmassy is it? This is the exaggeration to call it stress-free Even knowing that London- Scottish most Christmassy my flat has ever but I fundamentally cook a damn based Pines and Needles (www. looked, and probably ever will. good in about an pinesandneedles.com) is going to Saint hour. If you don’t have a masochistic deliver me a decorated tree doesn’t A Zoom call from Santa desire to pit yourself against a two- prepare me for the gloriousness Nick duly I’m actually unclear what Tier † stone goose, it’s a terrific shout. of the reality. The company does restrictions mean for grottos. But How Christmassy is it? If you everything, and the tree is about dials in clearly there’s going to be no sitting subscribe to the idea Christmas a trillion times classier than the on Santa’s lap (if that sort of thing is lunch is ‘supposed’ to be hard then manky old artificial number that still allowed in †—†—, idk). However, it’s not very Christmassy at all – and lurks threateningly in my garage. there is now a burgeoning trade in that’s a good thing. Yeah, it’s a touch spenny (about Zoom calls from . †—— for a six-footer), but given I plump for Underbelly’s Santa at THE WINNERS I work in the same room as the Home (œ† for up to six, www. Fun as it all is, a lot of this stuff has tree and am now essentially flat- santaathomeofficial.com), which some pretty heavy ‘let’s make the bound until I can get that sweet, raises money for charities, and a best of this horrible year’ vibes. sweet Oxford vaccine into my jolly Scottish Saint Nick duly dials However, the tree and the lunch box veins, I would call it a sensational in to chat with my wide-eyed two- feel like actual game-changers – investment. year-old and five-year-old about God bless them, every one! ■

19 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London TO A SPOTTER’S GUIDE London croissants

This Christmas won’t come with as

BEST many parties, but IN SHOW you still deserve the hangover breakfasts. AuxA PiPains dPde Papy Photography CaravanCara an For my money, London’s greatest croissant. Exceptional Pastry art. Masterpieces of flour. More width than some of balance between crispy outer layer and velvet-soft interior. Andy Parsons the others on this list, and a darn sight more crunchy, but Three thumbs up. Joseph Mackertich certainly worth a look. Kate Lloyd  279 Gray’s Inn Rd, WC1X 8QF.  Multiple venues.

The Dusty Knuckle FlorFlor JoleneJolene Is there a fluffier croissant in London than Dusty They might be petite, but these little guys pack a punch: This bakery mills its own flour on site, giving an earthiness Knuckle’s? I doubt it. The air pockets in these babies are they’re so rich with butter they’re almost juicy. Decent flake to its pastries. Break them apart and you’ll find a delicate major. But this isn’t a case of size over substance. KL and colour on them too. KL spider’s web of pastry layers. Alexandra Sims  Abbot St Car Park, E8 3DP.  1 Bedale St, SE1 9AL.  21 Newington Green, N16 9PU.

Little Bread Pedlar PophamsPophams Pret Oh boy: LBP’s croissants are fluffy, flaky, buttery and soft. Flakes like a bastard, tastes sweet and creamy. However, Sure, this might seem like a rogue choice but Pret’s offering Pillowy soft, in fact. Like sinking your teeth into a big, I cry a little when the bakery burns them slightly, which is not without its charms. A bit raw for most folk? Maybe. buttery ball of cotton wool. Alex Plim does happen occasionally. Still brilliant. Caroline McGinn But some people are into that. Perverts. KL  Unit 4-6 Spa Business Park, SE16 3FJ.  Multiple venues.  Multiple venues.

Get more dough at timeout.com/bakeries

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 20 No home. And no one to turn to.

Will you help us be there for young people at risk?

Homeless at just 16, Jen* would walk the dangerous streets at night, trying to snatch a =;lbm|;vvѴ;;rbm7oou-vķ0|o[;m|oo scared to close her eyes. Jen’s nightmare ended when she found safety and a chance to turn her life around with a room at Centrepoint. Please give £20 [;u-;-uo=1ubvbvķ7;l-m7=ououv;u b1;v this Christmas _-vm; ;u0;;m]u;-|;u+;|b|Ľv0;1ol;_-u7;u |_-m; ;u|ou-bv;|_;=m7v;m;;7$_bv to help give a Christmas, we must be there to keep young young person people like Jen safe from harm. We cannot fail a hot meal and a them now. But we need your help. +ou]b[1oѴ70;|_;|umbm]robm|=ou-mo|_;u safe place to sleep homeless young person.

CALL: 0800 055 79 47 VISIT: centrepoint.org.uk/help

*We use models and change the names of the young people we work with to protect their identity; however all stories are true and as told by the young person. © Centrepoint 2020. Centrepoint Soho, operating as Centrepoint, is a charity registered with the Charity Commission of England and Wales under number 292411 whose registered office is at Central House, 25 Camperdown Street, London, E1 8DZ and a company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales under number 01929421. NAP2021M-01W TIMEOUT.COM/OFFERS LOND N FOR LESS

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Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 22 Things to Do Things to do in London

Edited by Katie McCabe and Alexandra Sims timeout.com/thingstodo @timeoutlondon

Kew Gardens’ Christmas trail is the flashing neon light at the end of the long, dark tunnel we call . Treat your weary lockdown eyes to its laser-filled finale reflected in the Palm House Pond. Turn to p for more. JEFF EDEN/RBG KEW EDEN/RBG JEFF

23 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Things to Do Art to see this weekend We cracked The Crystal Maze C ‘Artemisia’ Revenge is a dish best served cold, without leaving the house as the ancient proverb goes, and Baroque superstar Artemisia Gentileschi serves it near freezing, The Crystal Once my team have over and over again. Delicious. Her Maze: Dome dialled in, we’re joined paintings stand up against the greats from Home live by maze master of her era, full of violence, anger, No matter how Eldritch Musky, who ambition and skill. much we’ve introduces us to this National Gallery. Until Jan 24 2021. £20, wished it wasn’t virtual incarnation booking essential. the case this year, with a dose of Richard there are certain O’Brien-style sarcasm. C Bruce Nauman things that just It’s this continuation Obscene, violent, vulgar, intense don’t translate to of elements from the and somehow totally mundane: the virtual world. real game that really American artist Bruce Nauman’s art Gigs aren’t the helps to shake off the is a horrifying exploration of life’s same if you’re reality of being sat on absurdity. Since the €‚ƒ„s, he’s been not surrounded your sofa. doing simple, repetitive, ridiculous by head-banging, With Musky egging things with videos, installations and and no matter how us on, we make neons. It’s so easy to feel like †„†„, much you crank up our way through with its isolation and boredom and your subwoofer for the classic Aztec, creeping authoritarianism, is an the latest Boiler Room set, your bedroom Medieval, Future and Industrial zones, and solve outlier. But Nauman’s art is saying will never feel like a sweaty Corsica Studios mental, skill, physical and mystery challenges to don’t worry, life has always been this on a Saturday night. collect virtual crystals. We throw ourselves into strange, and it always will be. So you’d be forgiven for thinking that creating bizarre puzzles and treasure hunts around our Tate Modern. Until Feb 21 2021. £13, booking an online version of ‘The Crystal Maze Live flats, while keeping up the tradition of screaming essential. Experience’, based on the ’90s TV show, would unhelpful advice at our teammates through our be nigh-on impossible. This is, after all, the Zoom windows. The creators have even found a C Chiharu Shiota escape game that requires bomber-jacket-clad way to recreate the dome of flying golden tickets Japanese artist Chiharu Shiota teams to sprint through the old Trocadero on that doesn’t involve you having to lob old sweet creates giant installations out Shaftesbury Avenue, collecting crystals. But wrappers into a Dyson Airblade. of hanging threads, leaving you where there’s a will there’s always a way. We working-from-home hermits are swept up to encounter a dreamy world of ‘Dome from Home’ takes place on Zoom, but in the maze delirium quicker than you can say fabric and colour. This beautiful this is not the nightmare of squares from the ‘START THE FANS, PLEASE!’ ■ Alexandra Sims installation features ships made of video-chat fatigue days of Lockdown 1. Ongoing. £15pp. www.the-crystal-maze.com strings suspended from the ceiling – viewing it is like stumbling on to some ultra-psychedelic sky marina. König London. Until Dec 19. Free, by appointment. Antony Gormley’s string-theory- Art trails inspired ‘Quantum Cloud’, the lonely Life drawing C Edmund de Waal figure of Laura Ford’s ‘Bird Boy’ and It stings the heart, this installation by Artists Walk Joanna Rajkowska’s huge replica Wild Life Drawing Online: Edmund de Waal. The ceramicist and In lieu of public spaces to display of a blackbird egg are some of the Seals author has lined the walls of his room their work, London’s artists are sculptures set against a backdrop Need a dose of calm after a fraught within a room in the British Museum turning their windows into galleries. of reed beds and ecology parks lockdown? You could do worse than with books by writers in exile. It’s Wisteria-covered bay windows (and the odd industrial estate). staring into the dark, soppy eyes of a shelf after shelf of stories written by in Finchley have been filled with Even if you don’t like art, you might blubbery seal pup. These sketching people far from home, thinking of watercolours, Pop art decorates a spot an estuary-living seal. classes have live animals as models, home, and it’s brutally affecting. Hackney council block and ceramics Plan your route at www.the-line.org. and this session will be virtually British Museum. Until Jan 12 2021. Free, peek from sashes in Crouch End. You visiting a Cornish seal sanctuary booking essential. can see the transformed houses by that rescues and rehabilitates lost, following one of the interactive maps abandoned and malnourished baby N Trulee Hall on the Artists Walk website. ones. After learning the basics of how Here are just a few things you’ll find at Various locations. Until Dec 14. Free. to sketch live animals, you’ll spend an Trulee Hall’s multimedia fun house www.artistswalk.org hour drawing the seals from life over of the ‘erotic grotesque’: glory holes, Zoom while sanctuary director Jana discordant music, nightmarish The Line Sirova tells you all about the flubbery serpents and a psychosexual opera Just like the waterways it follows, animals. Like most charities, the exploring gender and sexuality. It’s a the art lining this three-mile trail sanctuary is struggling this year, mix of video, sculpture and painting from Stratford to Greenwich ebbs so ž„ percent of your ticket will go and it’s all as weird as can be. and flows from view, with works towards caring for the pups. Zabludowicz Collection. Until Mar 14 2021. Free, disappearing each year and new Dec 5. £10. Book online at Trulee Hall booking essential. installations arriving in their place. www.wildlifedrawing.eventcube.io

C Central N North S South E East W West Streaming Outdoors CRYSTAL MAZE: THE CRYSTAL MAZE LIVE EXPERIENCE; TRULEE HALL: ‘TONGUES DUEL THE CORN WHORES’ PHOTO MIKE MASSARO MIKE PHOTO WHORES’ CORN THE DUEL ‘TONGUES HALL: TRULEE EXPERIENCE; LIVE MAZE CRYSTAL THE MAZE: CRYSTAL

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 24 Things to Do

Everyman Cinema Broadgate and Online film all the titles will be available to watch online. See UK premieres like the festivals first Egyptian film to be awarded the Cannes Short Film Palme d’Or: THREE OF THE BEST Together! 2020 Disability ‘I Am Afraid to Forget Your Face’, Film Festival or documentary feature ‘Some It’s not a film’s star rating that’s Kind of Heaven’, following retired important at this festival, but its Americans living off-grid in a vast Outdoor markets ‘D rating’. This celebration of films retirement home in Florida. by Deaf/Disabled filmmakers Until Dec 7. Prices vary. has gone virtual in . Expect a www.londonfilmweek.com programme of animated shorts, dramas, international documentaries H B R and multimedia G O performances all I Tiny gig

highlighting the lived W

experiences of Deaf/ H C The London Disabled people Bridge Trio around the world. Kings Place arts centre Each one has a D rating B S in King’s Cross is a dab to show the participation O P hand at socially distanced S Brockley of Disabled people in front of concerts. It’s been putting Not just a block of concrete where you drop and behind the camera: one D for on tiny gigs, where musicians play your motor, Lewisham College’s car park each Deaf/Disabled person involved to small, safely separated audiences turns into a farmers’ market on Saturdays. in the making of the film. since the summer. It’s letting Stock up on fresh fish, pungent cheese and Dec 3-6. Free. www.together2012.org.uk Londoners experience the tingle of attractively lumpy heritage veg. live events again with its December Lewisham College Car Park. Every Sat 10am-2pm. London Film Week programme of podcast recordings, Not to be confused with the BFI folk festivals and orchestral concerts. London Film Festival, which took It kicks off with classical outfit The place earlier this year, the third London Bridge Trio who, armed with edition of London Film Week is a violin, cello and piano, will put championing new and original their own spin on Beethoven and cinematic wonders. The hybrid Dvořák’s greatest works. fest will have live screenings at Kings Place. Dec 6. £20.

C Maltby Street The stalls nestled round the Ropewalk’s Victorian railway arches is the place to come when you’re having a Nigella moment and need high-end condiments you can’t get at Tesco. The street food is pretty decent too. Maltby St. Every Sat 10am-5pm and Sun 11am-4pm.

N Stroud Green If you’ve gone full cottagecore this lockdown, find your people visiting the stalls at Stroud Green School. It may look straight from a Home Counties village fête, but you’ll find adventurous fare here too, like urban farmed microgreens. Stroud Green School. Every Sun 10am-2.30pm. ‘Do I look like I take requests?’ ‘Artemisia’ ARTEMISIA: SELF-PORTRAIT AS A LUTE PLAYER © WADSWORTH ATHENEUM MUSEUM OF ART; BROCKLEY MARKET: SCOTT CHASSEROT; MALTBY STREET: CELIA TOPPING CELIA STREET: MALTBY CHASSEROT; SCOTT MARKET: BROCKLEY ART; OF MUSEUM ATHENEUM WADSWORTH © PLAYER LUTE A AS SELF-PORTRAIT ARTEMISIA:

25 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Seven things to get straight about homelessness

Want to help those experiencing in London homelessness but don’t know where to start? We asked an expert about the misconceptions that surround the crisis

s Londoners, we’re all aware Covid-19 has of the housing crisis. It’s 1intensified the existing A housing emergency unavoidable. But while a shocking 280,000 people are One of HSBC UK’s key charity homeless in England (according to partners is Shelter, which provides Shelter), it’s an issue fraught with advice and advocacy for people misconceptions. Together with experiencing homelessness all HSBC UK – which recently launched across England and Wales. Shelter its game-changing No Fixed Address hub manager Connie Cullen has Service – we’re working to shine a observed that the pandemic has light on homelessness as the festive not only made thousands of people season approaches. newly homeless across the UK, but that it’s also made some existing issues worse. ‘There simply isn’t enough housing available for people in London, or often the housing that does exist is unaffordable. The number of Universal Credit claims has risen to more than 3 million since March – a lot of people have lost their jobs or are experiencing the financial impacts of Covid-19 so will struggle to pay their rent in the longer term.’ Advertisement feature

Homelessness isn’t 2just about sleeping rough ‘I’d say that’s misconception number one,’ says Cullen. More than 10,000 people are said to be sleeping rough on the streets of London – but there are many people who Cullen There are many one to apply for and receive benefits, It’s possible to refers to as ‘the hidden homeless’. 5barriers to escaping and you need to pay for things with a 6end homelessness Many of these are families or homelessness card.’ HSBC UK is currently working forever… young people fleeing domestic It should come as no surprise with Shelter to deliver its No Fixed ‘At Shelter, we’ve got a radical abuse who live in temporary that being homeless can have a Address Service, which helps people strategy where we try to ensure accommodation which is often severe impact on your mental and who would otherwise struggle to get that there is simply enough housing unstable and overcrowded; there physical wellbeing, which in turn a bank account. Since launching in for everyone,’ says Cullen. ‘We are more than 62,000 households makes it harder to work and seek 2019, more than 500 people with need affordable, good quality, in this position. ‘And because there assistance – but there are other no fixed address now have access safe social homes that people can isn’t enough permanent housing, factors that go against people trying to a bank account – and the number easily access and stay in for a long people might wait years in temporary to find permanent housing. One of is growing. ‘It’s brilliant that this period. It wouldn’t solve everyone’s accommodation,’ she says. these is the lack of access to wi-fi scheme is in place to allow people to problems, but it would go a long way in temporary accommodation – and open a bank account. You can build towards ending homelessness.’ Homelessness can another is the difficulty of opening on lots of things once you’ve got a Right now, a key part of Shelter’s 3affect anyone a bank account. ‘Lots of things now bank account in place,’ says Cullen. plan is to work closely with local ‘The housing shortage affects rely on having a bank account,’ says To find out more about HSBC UK’s community organisations to help everyone… so homelessness can Cullen. ‘You need a bank account to No Fixed Address Service, visit them carry out their work. One is the affect anyone,’ explains Cullen. In be paid by your employer, you need www.hsbc.co.uk/no-fixed-address. The Magpie Project, based in the the private rental sector, landlords borough of Newham, which supports can hand out Section 21 ‘no-fault’ families with young children in eviction notices for no reason temporary accommodation. whatsoever. These situations are relatively common and hard to fight, … and you can be and finding a new place to live can 7a par t of that prove very difficult, as tenants can London is home to a multitude of be required to pay large deposits up fantastic charities, including Shelter, front. ‘People are often moving from Centrepoint, Crisis and St Mungo’s – home to home, trying to find roots, and you can help them by donating, but often they’re having to move volunteering and participating in again and again,’ says Cullen. events. Shelter is looking for sign- ups to The Big Walk, a fundraising People experiencing event which has gone virtual this 4homelessness deserve year and runs from December 7 to equal respect 13. To sign up, visit thebigwalk.shelter. The discrimination that people org.uk. experience when they are homeless can be relentless. Cullen has heard reports of rough sleepers being attacked and even urinated on. ‘For children at school, it can be embarrassing for people to know that you’re homeless, living in temporary accommodation.’ People also often report feeling invisible – which is why it’s important to show kindness to people you encounter, even if it’s just striking up a quick conversation.

Discover more ways to help at www.timeout.com/hsbcuk Things to Do

time with Oasis. There’s a catch, Big drag though – you’ll need a VR headset BEHIND THE SHADE and a download of the MelodyVR Christmas app to see him in action. Dec 5. £16.50. www.liamgallagher.com C Virgin’s Glam AF Christmas Monét X Change Hear what actually went down at the birth of Christ, find out what the Son of Gawd has been getting Craft work up to during lockdown and witness some creative reinterpretations of The Sew Over It Big your favourite festive hymns at this Christmas Sew truly bizarre and original evening of Things can escalate in lockdown. Christmas cabaret with the sacred First, you learn that you do actually Virgin X. know how to re-sew a button on Phoenix Arts Club. Dec 13. From £12. your shirt. Then, you’re mending old clothes you’d meant to throw away, suddenly you’re looking up embroidery patterns just to pass the time and before you know it you’re Streamed crafting. You’re a crafter. Sound like you? Join your people at the Big concert Christmas Sew, a Zoom class with an endgame of completing a Christmas Liam Gallagher: garland for your house. Boredom Down by the River Thames has created a new you, armed with Our Kid marks his return to live a handful of felt pom-poms. performance with this extremely Dec 2. £5. www.sewoverit.co.uk weird gig broadcast in  -degree virtual reality live from a barge Make Your Own Typeface travelling along the Thames. The Fancy having your very own font, loud-mouthed Mancunian will be like your fave pop star, or your local joined by his full band to perform council? Try this online workshop classics, fan favourites and a few from London-based graphic design surprises from his solo career and company Alexandra Lunn Studio,

C ‘Death Drop’ Since early November, ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ star Monét X Change has been holed up in lockdown London waiting for the moment she can break out and rehearse with her fellow queens for their Dragatha Christie murder mystery ‘Death Drop’. While she waits, fabulously, in performer’s limbo, we catch up with her to talk about London drag and Joe Biden.

What can you tell us about ‘Death Drop’? ‘Think “Clue” or “Knives Out”, but super-campy and with lots of energy. No shade. I love “Clue” but it’s a little stuffy... “Death Drop” was really taking the best parts of those, injecting a little drag into it, a little more foundation and contour, and making it fun.’

You did a live stream for the American election recently. How did you feel when you got the news Biden was in? ‘It just feels like a new dawning and a new day. It feels like people of colour and queer people, women, indigenous folk, all these people can breathe and sleep a little easier now that this maniac psycho moron is leaving the White House. Now he’s saying he’s not leaving… Girl, I will literally show up to the White House in six-inch stilettos and drag him out by that goddamn wig on his head if he doesn’t want to go. He’s leaving: ding dong, the witch is gone.’

What do you feel is different about the London drag scene? ‘You guys are so irreverent. I think in New York people are super-duper PC and so worried about how they are perceived. In the UK, you guys live freely, you aren’t bogged down by that. Also, in the States, everyone has a fucking broom up their ass... When people need to be called out and people do wrong things you’re like “Hey, that’s not cool”, but for the most part, you guys let artists be artists.’ ■ Katie McCabe Hampton Court Palace ice rink

‘Death Drop’ is due to run at the Garrick Theatre Dec 4-Jan 17 2021. From £20. SIMIONE STEVEN CHANGE: X MONÉT

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 28 Things to Do

where you’ll learn the traditional backdrop to a ‡¡–‰–-square-metre craft of paper-cutting, get to grips Real-life Ice rinks ice rink. It’s pretty family-friendly with the basics of typography and (those little penguin and dolphin acquire the skills needed to create a Christmas W Hampton Court Palace skate aids are available for children totally unique typeface. When this ice rink if you book in advance) and for rink is all over, you can unleash a new market Henry VIII was an aristocratic wallflowers, there’s a café curated arsenal of font facts on your friends. supervillain. One thing he left by Miss Polly, which means big Did you know Comic Sans was C Selfridges Christmas behind, though, other than his hot chocolates, fat cookies and created for Microsoft in ‡ˆˆ‰ and is Market legacy as a misogynistic monster, homemade brownies. now hated by its inventor? Your pals Selfridges has cooked up some was Hampton Court Palace. Inside, Hampton Court Palace. Dec 5-Jan 17 2021. are going to eat this stuff up… pretty big plans for its comeback it’s bursting with Tudor pomp, £16. £11.50 child. Dec 13 and 15. £25, book via Eventbrite. on December “. To tie in with the gilded ceilings, friezes, and a gallery reopening of its Oxford Street with paintings by Caravaggio and S Queen’s House ice rink store, it will also be extending Van Dyck. Even if you have little If you’re feeling the urge to wrap A G outdoors with its first-ever interest in touring Henry’s old your body in fairy lights and B A open-air Christmas chambers, the grounds are worth just to get a tiny morsel of that Flash market. Nine food a look, especially at this time of Christmassy feeling, get yourself to trucks will pull up year, when the palace becomes a Greenwich. The borough might be garden to Edwards Mews, famous for helping define time as round the back of wew know it, but more importantly, it W Christmas B Selfridges, along wearsw Christmas like a champ. The at Kew A E with fairground decorationsd are up in the outdoor Every Christmas, Kew U B L rides, stalls selling market,m sugary mulled wine is being Gardens goes hard on wreaths, Christmas trees, servedse from cast-iron soup kettles, its light display, littering the decorations and gifts, andan over at Queen’s House (Queen botanical trails with bulb-strapped and, weirdly, a ‘tunnel of light’ Henrietta’s former summer villa), tunnels and trees. It can feel a little – presumably with a capacity of there’s going to be a massive pricy for an evening of staring at one household bubble at a time. outdoor ice rink in the grounds of LEDs (’“‰”•– at peak times), but The market will feature food from the National Maritime Museum. this year has seen enough darkness the recently launched Tramshed This year it’ll be even bigger, to last a lifetime, and we’re ready to Project, as well as hosting the likes which means more space for social be dazzled. The focus for the “–“– of Fundi Pizza and those guys with distancing,d and spectacular falls. installation is the new route through the giant wheel of cheese. Queen’s House. Dec 5-Jan 24 2021. £16, Selfridges a fully illuminated rose garden, a Selfridges, Edwards Mews. Dec 2-31. Free entry.y. £8 child. laser projection at Temperate House and a ‘festive classics soundtrack’ for a big old light show finale reflected in the waters of Palm House Pond. Kew Gardens. Dec 4-Jan 27 2021. From £19.50. ONE UNMISSABLE THING Low-key club nights E Night Tales: Horse Meat Disco Horse Meat Disco makes a triumphant (albeit toned-down and seated) return post-lockdown with this date at industrial-style venue Night Tales. Book with your household for some table service on the terrace, soundtracked by niche disco and retro bangers. Night Tales. Dec 3. From £22.

S Hennessy Presents: Open Decks on the Beach Disco Reckon you’re an undiscovered DJ? Tate Lates: Night in Stick your name on the list, grab the best bits of your vinyl collection and Watch Yorkshire brass master Emma-Jean Thackray and Global head down to Brixton Courtyard to Roots founder Thristian respond to Bruce Nauman’s Tate show off your supposed skills at this exhibition with this online stream. Don’t miss Marianna Simnett’s socially distanced hangout. Or just book a table to enjoy cognac kegs, short film ‘The Udder’. It’ll turn you vegan for good. cocktails and street-food snacks Dec 3.Free. www.tate.org.uk from Only Jerkin’. Brixton Courtyard. Dec 3, 10 and 17. Free, book

HOT DOG: POP DOGS AT SELFRIDGES CHRISTMAS MARKET; BRUCE NAUMAN: ONE HUNDRED LIVE AND DIE, COLLECTION BENESSE HOLDINGS, INC./ HOLDINGS, BENESSE COLLECTION DIE, AND YORK LIVE NEW HUNDRED ONE WESTWATER, NAUMAN: SPERONE BRUCE COURTESY MARKET; CHRISTMAS 2020, SELFRIDGES LONDON AT DACS, DOGS AND POP NY DOG: ARS, HOT / NAUMAN BRUCE © NAOSHIMA MUSEUM, HOUSE BENESSE a table in advance.

29 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Things to Do Welcome to... THE OPTIMIST’S SECTION Keep your glass half-full with amazing gigs, plays and exhibitions that are bound to happen in 

‘Back to the Future: The Musical’

N ‘Hymn’ the Bridge. There are only ten dates Theatre Following the success of her and reduced audience capacity, so Almeida directorial debut ‘The book early if you’re keen for a good C Andrew Lloyd-Webber’s Writer’, Blanche McIntyre returns Amstell serving of existential angst. ‘Cinderella’ to direct this new drama about Like we haven’t all had enough of that If you’ve been binge-watching the male friendship from acclaimed this year. latest series of ‘The Crown’ during playwright Lolita Chakrabarti. Bridge Theatre. Jan 12-23 2021. From £20. lockdown, you’ll recognise Emerald Starring her husband and Fennell from her role as Prince collaborator Adrian Lester and C ‘Back to the Future: Charles’s side chick Camilla Parker Danny Sapani as two strangers The Musical’ Bowles, but the multi-talented who form a bond after meeting at Well this feels strangely significant: actress is also an Emmy Award- a funeral, this soulful piece though this all-singing version winning screenwriter and director, ruminates on what it means to of Robert Zemeckis’s ’ŒŽs time- responsible for series two of ‘Killing be a good father or good son. travelling classic has been in the Eve’ and feature film ‘Promising Almeida Theatre. Jan 29-Feb 27 2021. £tbc. works for years and has had try-outs Young Woman’. She’s set to team up in Manchester, its May ‘Ž‘’ London with the godfather of musical theatre C Simon Amstell: start date is looking fairly promising. for this reimagining of the fairytale, ‘Work in Progress’ That’s not to say ‘Back to the Future: starring Carrie Hope Fletcher. Let’s After airing his well-received Netflix The Musical’ can’t or won’t be pushed hope this prince’s marriage doesn’t special ‘Set Free’ last year, British back. However, delays cost money end in acrimonious public divorce… comedy’s favourite neurotic tests and there’s clearly a significant belief Gillian Lynne Theatre. April 30 2021-Feb 13 out some new material ‘for a possibly that things will be close to normal Stormzy

2022. From £19.50. forthcoming tour’ in this short run at again by next spring. In terms of the BERTRAND/SHUTTERSTOCK CHRISTIAN STORMZY: BARNES; EBSWORTH SEAN FUTURE: THE TO BACK

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 300 BOOK NOW show, well, you know what ‘Back to stars while waiting for the start of the Future’ is : ’ s high-schooler his rescheduled world tour. Catch Marty McFly travels back to the him vossi bopping at the O• in April, s in Doc Brown’s DeLorean and unless your name is Wiley. Or Chip. A Bob Marley gets up to sundry delightful time- The O2. Apr 12-14 2021. From £37. travelling antics including almost having it off with his mum. Only this musical is coming time, there are big musical numbers to break the tension. Adelphi Theatre. May 14-Sep 26 2021. Exhibitions to London From £19.55. C Jean Dubuffet Twentieth-century painter Jean Dubuffet championed what he termed ‘art brut’, or ‘raw art’, Huge gigs eschewing traditional standards of beauty for art that ‘emanates from S Haim our real life and our real moods’. Haim proved themselves the The first major UK exhibition of most accomplished sister his work in more than  trio in the music biz T U A years, this retrospective (sorry Las Ketchup) C explores his lifelong L with the release of A pursuit of authenticity their brilliant third and features rarely album ‘Women in exhibited pieces. Music Pt III’ earlier Barbican. Feb 11-May 23 this year. After some M ! 2021. £tbc. commendable live- U C streamed performances S I C ‘Alice: Curiouser this summer, Danielle, Este and Curiouser’ and Alana will be playing IRL This immersive blockbuster from at this sure-to-be-energetic the V&A charts the evolution of London date in June. Lewis Carroll’s ‘Alice’s Adventures The O2. Jun 18 2021. From £30. in Wonderland’ from manuscript to global phenomenon. Fall down S Stormzy the rabbit hole and explore the After his triumphant headline novel’s reinterpretations in art, C ‘Get Up, Stand Up! The Bob Marley Story’ performance at Glastonbury last theatre, fashion and dance, from Tickets go on sale today (December 2) for long-time-coming summer (remember festivals?) Salvador Dalí’s surrealist paintings Bob Marley musical ‘Get Up, Stand Up’, which hits the West and the release of his second album to Christopher Wheeldon’s ballet End next May. Fresh from reopening the National Theatre back in December, the young ‘King adaptation and Vivienne Westwood’s with ‘Death of England: Delroy’, show director Clint Dyer fills of Grime’ has occupied himself Alice-inspired collection. us in on the first blockbuster of the post-Covid era. by beefing with various UK grime V&A. Mar 27-Dec 31 2021. From £20. Why’s it taken so long for a Bob Marley musical to come along? ‘They’ve been trying to get it off the ground for a long time. I suppose because Marley’s music is so precious there’s a desire to get it right: it’s such a prize piece of material that it’s been tricky to feel wholeheartedly sure about the timing. It’s very precious.’

What’s the story you’re trying to tell? ‘There’s so much to talk about: the deep political philosophy behind his music and the way he lived his life. I think what we’re trying to do is to use the music to try and harness his ideas and beliefs, not just the story.’

Actor/playwright Arinze Kene is your Bob Marley – why is he the man for the job? ‘I’ve known him for years, he’s perfect for it. Over the years he’s proven it in what he writes about, his understanding of Black culture, urban culture, and you could just go straight to the fact he sings like a bird.’

Is it exciting bringing to the West End? ‘I think I’ve been handed the most incredible opportunity and I kind of want to blow the doors off, really. To have some full-on reggae with HUMONGOUS BASS I find absolutely thrilling. ‘Alice: Curiouser Believe me, I’ve got some moves that I know will be a first for and Curiouser’ the West End.’ Interview by Andrzej Łukowski at the V&A

ALICE IN WONDERLAND: JOHAN PERSSON; BOB MARLEY: MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/GETTY OCHS MICHAEL MARLEY: BOB PERSSON; JOHAN WONDERLAND: IN ALICE ‘Get Up, Stand Up!’ will run at the Lyric Theatre. From May 28 2021. Price tbc.

31 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Food & Dr ink

timeout.com/eatdrink @timeouteatdrink

Extremely posh meal kits Birthday? Anniversary? One week closer to the vaccine? Give yourself a reason to order a fancy restaurant box, you won’t regret it

The veggie take on shawarma A proper posh restaurant meal in a I’m writing this about a week after box. It’s complex, spicy, comforting eating Rovi’s Celeriac Shawarma – flawless, to be honest. I couldn’t Kit and I still can’t get over how recommend it more. Kate Lloyd delicious it was. Honestly, this  ottolenghiready.slerp.com box was one of the best things I’ve eaten all year. The kit – made by the The very posh Indian one Ottolenghi spin-off to serve two The Four Course at Home Feast people – comes boxed up in very from The Cinnamon Club really swish reusable jars and recyclable is a feast, consisting of enough Dinner tubs. It has many, many parts. The delicious food to keep my whole spiced celeriac, which you pop in family going for days. The courses done early Norma the oven for ‚ƒ minutes and serve in are handily colour-coded, making pita. Bekeila – a citrussy spinach mix the dishes easy to prepare and put means – which you heat in a pan and smear together – most of the food is simply on the bread too. Plus all kinds of heated in the bag it comes in. Bhel per person, this is proper fine, filling more other bits to layer on (crispy onions, papdi chaat (delightful crispy bits dining that you can cook in even the pickles, shawarma mix, fermented of potatoes) and a platter of huge tiniest kitchen. Ben Rowe time to tomato and chilli sauce). Assembly shrimps would have been plenty on www.cinnamonclub.com stare into is a fun, messy process. (Although their own, but there was lamb shank I wouldn’t recommend following rogan josh and dhal to come. Both The one with après-ski vibes space. my lead and attempting it on the had levels ofrichness that made Since staying in is the new going coffee table because it’s the ‘biggest us want a lie-down before we even out, the retro dinner party is also Lovely surface’ in your flat; a dining table is got to the garam masala Christmas having a moment. What could preferable.) The result? pudding. While not cheap at ‘ƒ suit the occasion better than a stuff

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 32 Find more home food fun at timeout.com/diykits

cherry kirsch liqueur and a crisp alpine wine, in case fondue is more about après-ski for you. It makes a cosy event out of staying in. Laura Richards www.thecheesebar.com The decadent comfort- food feast You might know them from their beloved neighbourhood restaurant or famous lockdown wine deliveries, Now the nice people at Top Cuvée have found yet another thing to be top at. Meal kits. Their Take Cuvée boxes are a no-choice deal and are made up of three courses of fancy takes on comfort food that’ll leave you in a perfect snoozy haze. (Line up ‘Home Alone’ for after.) In my box I got a thick, creamy soup with moreish cheese scones to start. Then a flaky pie filled with tender chicken and more creamy stuff (served with all kinds Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx of posh restaurant veg) and a salty- and-sweet sticky toffee pudding. It’s all packaged in heat-in-the-bag plastic pouches or oven-friendly foil tins so you barely have to dirty a pan. And the instructions are super-easy to follow too. (My only challenge was telling the mash and the soup apart, but that’s because I’m an idiot.) Most importantly: it’s pretty affordable compared to loads of other meal kits – ‘’ for two – and it’s all wildly delicious. KL www.shopcuvee.com kitsch ‘fondue-it-yourself’ kit from Camden’s fromage-loving The mega-premium restaurant The Cheese Bar ( for Mediterranean one two)? It comes with a coolea and Sexy Sicilian-inspired joint Norma Cornish Kern cheese mix ready in Fitzrovia had not long opened to melt, plus dippables: potatoes, when the first lockdown hit. Luckily cornichons and crusty bread. But you can order its comforting who’s to say you can’t get inventive Mediterranean fare to your door, with the contents of your lockdown including its culinary flagship Rovi fridge? You can also order shots of product: the Feasting Box for Two

33 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Food & Drink

(). Kaboom. A cursory glance great ingredients and excellent at the instructions might cause a technique, basically. It’s the same bit of trepidation (any mention of a deal here with the Slow-Cooked pomegranate dressing will always Short Rib Kit: two massive hunks create panic in my household) but of dexter short rib slippery on their this is all joyously basic. You’re bones, confit potatoes, garlicky just chucking stuff in the oven curly kale, carrots, parsnips and at different times. The delicate horseradish cream – all for ŽŽ. pumpkin came out all nice and Throw them in some pans and caramelised and the huge chunk of you’re done: restaurant-quality lamb shoulder was exactly as tender food in an obscenely efficient ‘ as you’d expect. Other highlights minutes. My only concern would include extremely fresh bread, a be for those who like to spend a bit chard gratin and a Negroni cocktail. more time pottering in the kitchen. As the price suggests, there’s a ton Me? Dinner done early meant more to get through here, so clearly it’s time to stare into space considering meant as more than ‘a bit of dinner’. the pointlessness of existence. Got something to celebrate? This Lovely stuff. Stephen Farmer treasure trove of tastiness could www.dishpatch.co.uk be the perfect way to mark the occasion. Joe Mackertich The Michelin-starred one www.normalondon.com It’s safe to say that things like lobster ravioli and chicken supreme The really, really meaty one with truffle bouillon are not in I reviewed 10 Greek Street when it my regular recipe rotation. That’s opened about a decade ago. I feel where the weekly-changing three- Left to right: old. Back then, I remember being course lockdown menu Galvin Top Cuvée, Cafe blown away, not just by how good at Home from Michelin-starred Murano, The Cheese Bar the food was but by its simplicity: Galvin La Chapelle comes in. I tried

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Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 34 Food & Drink

the aforementioned ravioli and here: the pimped-up houmous, chicken, as well as pear tarte tatin baba ghanoush with pomegranate for dessert. Each course comes in seeds to sprinkle, zingy tabbouleh a plastic takeaway container and and pumpkin kibbeh are all instructions for how to assemble outstanding, and I’m sure the it. It’s all relatively straightforward halloumi would have been if I hadn’t to prepare – cook the dumplings, killed it by frying it for too long. reheat the chicken in the oven, My bad, meal good. Sarah Cohen heat the sauce – but wrangling all shop.arabicalondon.com the different aspects does create a fair amount of washing-up. The The Italian party feast portion sizes aren’t massive (this is Cafe Murano has various pasta Michelin-starred dining, darling), and risotto meal kits that you can but it’s rich (and very tasty) food, order any time, but every Friday, so you aren’t left feeling short- Angela Hartnett and team rustle up changed. If you’re looking for a treat something extra-special. Though meal that you’d never normally the contents are subject to change, cook at home, this is one for you. But the Cafe Murano at Home menu be tactical: offer to do the ‘cooking’ as we received it was a four-course so your lockdown buddy has to wash Italian meal sealed up into ­­ up. €Š‚ (meat) or €‹Œ (veggie) per boxes and pouches that felt like an person. Isabelle Aron impressive feat of logistics even galvinlachapelle.slerp.com before one contemplates the actual flavours. And the flavours were good: The one with 21 parts focaccia with pickled vegetables for Despite consisting of an initially the antipasti, pumpkin and ricotta daunting ‘­ numbered tubs and cannelloni for the primi, lamb’s bags of ingredients, Arabica’s neck stew with braised cabbage €Š‚ Middle Eastern meal kit for for the secundo, and poached pear two (Feast for Beirut) is easy to with pannacotta for pudding. It was assemble and totally delicious. delicious, and great value at €‚‚ The main course, a boil-in-the-bag for two. And while it’s not quite the beef short-rib stew with vermicelli same as eating in a restaurant, I got rice, is rich and hearty, and the a possibly slightly weird kick from inclusion of some satisfyingly nutty following the relatively lengthy baklava and a sprig of fresh mint to but entirely lucid preparation make tea with is a nice touch. But instructions.  Andrzej Łukowski TOP CUVÉE: LOIC SALAN; CHEESE BAR: NIC CRILLY-HARGRAVE NIC BAR: CHEESE SALAN; LOIC CUVÉE: TOP the mixed meze spread is the star www.cafemurano.co.uk

35 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Love Local Love Local

Edited by Kate Lloyd timeout.com/lovelocal

Chefs’ top meat and veg places In part two of our really good food shops guide, chefs reveal their favourite butchers, greengrocers, delis and fishmongers

Abby Lee Mambow buy top-quality pasta, cheese and ‘Dalston’s Spandeli is a super-low- charcuterie and would also highly key deli which has a real charm. recommend their .’ You’ll find Spanish wines, cheese, 70a High St, SW19 5EE. ham, anchovies, things like that. I usually get a sandwich filled with James Cochran 12:51 juicy olives, artichokes, a Spanish ‘East Dulwich’s William Rose tomato spread and lots of olive oil.’ Butchers is one of the oldest in Turner & George 246 Dalston Lane, E8 1JG. London. (It’s been around since „ †‡.) It’s great for high-quality Saiphin Moore rare-breed meat and there’s always Rosa’s Thai Cafe a queue on a Saturday.’ I’m running too short on time to sit Matteo and Salvatore Aloe ‘My favourite local is Hussey’s Fruit 126 Lordship Lane, SE22 8HD. down, or come to pick up odd shapes Berberè Pizzeria & Vegetables in Wapping. I live just of pasta for recipe testing.’ ‘One day, after a run on sunny around the corner, and they always Jacob Kenedy 61 Old Compton St, W1D 6HS. Clapham Common, we finished have the best seasonal fruit and veg Bocca di Lupo and Gelupo outside Moxon’s and looked in at all to cook with, straight from the farm.’ ‘I Camisa & Son in Soho is a Avi Shishandra Pali Hill the amazing produce and fish on 54 Wapping Lane, E1W 2RL. [throwback] to a style of deli that ‘The Fishmongers Kitchen in offer. It seemed like a sign from God. remains, in Italy, the hub of the Shepherd’s Bush is an absolute It has all you need for a fantastic fish Emily Roux and Diego Ferrari community. It has a great Aladdin’s favourite. He has a variety of farmed dinner: fresh turbot, great bottles of Caractère cave vibe – all you could need from and wild fish from local and tropical wine, garlic, parsley and ready-to- ‘Our favourite local shop is a supermarket, inside a shoebox. waters. You can find fresh mackerel, eat marinated sardines. Don’t forget Vallebona, run by husband-and- I became a real regular when Bocca octopus, live crabs, wild sea bass, the French butter. The fishmongers wife team Stefano and Naoko. The opened. We’d come by on a daily lobsters or even tuna and pomfret. are kind and they are ready to cut Wimbledon store only sells the best basis to pick up something we’d Get there before ”pm or they run out fillets for you and keep the bones quality produce and everything is forgotten to order. I now buy a of the good stuff.’ for a good fish stock.’ done with so much love. We often panino there for lunch on days when 119 Shepherd’s Bush Rd, W6 7LP. Unit E, Clapham South Station, SW4 9AE. PARSONS ANDY GEORGE: & TURNER

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 36 Love Local

Love Local

Moxons

get our veg from there daily. They’re always stocked up with an array of interesting produce from around the world. It’s my go-to place when I’m on the hunt for more obscure ingredients in recipes!’ 13 Terrace Rd, E9 7ES. Max Venning and Brodie Meah Top Cuvée ‘Highbury’s Seasons & Blossoms is an amazing greengrocer. It’s a godsend when we need ingredients to finish a special at the last minute but without compromising on our use of seasonal, organic produce.’ 92 Highbury Park, N5 2XE, Francesco Mazzei Sartoria ‘I get as much meat as I can from butchers Turner & George in Clerkenwell. All of the staff are brilliant and really knowledgeable. If they don’t have something specialist in stock that you want, they’ll source it for you and it’s always the best quality. They usually have to kick me out because I’ve been in there too long chatting.’ Su Tran Mien Tay up Tutto wine. They have some of 399 St John St, EC1V 4LD. ‘Our favourite local shop is the best cheese and cured meats Billingsgate Market. It sounds sourced from crazy fanatical Nick Fitzgerald Tacos Padre strange but my wife and I go there farmers, small-batch honey and ‘Fin and Flounder on Broadway three or four times each week, more olive oils. You simply can’t source Market is a shop serious on selection than any other shop. We take the the same quality ingredients from when it comes to fine produce from time to talk, deliberating over the anywhere else. There’s always wafts the sea (and now wine too), and brightest-eyed seabass for frying of incredible smells.’ is a cornerstone in east London. whole with fish sauce and mango.’ Arch 10, Dockley Road Industrial Estate, Brendan, Danny and Sam will go to Trafalgar Way, E14 5ST. SE16 3SF. serious lengths to find the best of the best from the depths. They love Robin Gill Bermondsey Nick Buckland what they do and a good chat. Take Larder, Darby’s and Sorella Yard Sale Pizza the prices as a guide – there are great ‘The Ham and Cheese Co in ‘Mircey Green Grocery in Clapton is a bargains to be had once they call Bermondsey was recommended great little fruit-and-veg shop. When you “mate”!’ ■ Vallebona by my mate Damiano who heads we first opened our shop we would 71 Broadway Market, E8 4PH.

37 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Love Local

AREA GUIDE

Vegan food with heart in Southwark The restaurant providing food and care for the community as regeneration ploughs on

‘I JUST STARTED it as a joke with my the fasting months leading up to Easter, no In September, the central hub of friends,’ Beza tells me about her Ethiopian meat or dairy products are consumed. ‘When Southwark, Elephant & Castle Shopping restaurant which shares her name. It began I came here, people kept saying “vegan” and Centre, closed its doors for the last time life in  in the bustle of Camden Market I was like “What is vegan?”’ Beza explains. and the iconic hot-pink elephant statue before moving to Elephant & Castle as a Then she realised it was what she knew as was removed. Demolition for yet another pop-up in ­, and then setting up as a fasting food – and Londoners loved it. regeneration project in the area is expected to restaurant in Elephant Park last year. It’s a She learned how to cook from her continue into summer next year. It’s leaving serious business now. grandmother, who had a plant-based diet, many traders, who are the backbone of the Beza is bubbly and warm, and more and her restaurant dishes up warm injera community, uprooted and looking for a new than anything, she cares deeply about the flatbread with delicious sides, including home. ‘I know a few people: that’s their lives,’ community she’s fostered in Elephant & lentil, mung bean and split-pea dishes. says Beza. ‘I feel sad. How are we going to Castle. ‘We became family, not friends.’ But Beza does more than serving up support them?’ Although she lives in north London, Beza food; she’s all about serving the community This year has already been an incredibly is happy to make the daily commute to too, helping those most impacted in . challenging one for traders. ‘It’s not easy, Southwark. ‘When I reach Elephant & Castle, During the first lockdown, she teamed up we’ve had a difficult year,’ Beza admits. I feel like this is my home.’ with Feed the Workers and donated food to But she’s still hopeful. ‘We have to support While veganism has skyrocketed in the last the charity Pembroke House. ‘My sister, she’s each other,’ she says, vowing to buy her few decades in the West, in Ethiopia it’s been a nurse. I saw how tired she was,’ says Beza. So ingredients locally, ‘because if I didn’t get around for hundreds of years, just under a she made it her mission to help feed frontline it from them, these people aren’t going to different name. ‘We call it fasting,’ she tells workers, homeless people and people in need survive. Everything is give and take. It’s nice me. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church is one of of food. ‘What is the meaning of living in this to support each other.’ ■ Niellah Arboine the world’s oldest religious bodies and during world if you don’t help each other?’ Beza, 8a Sayer St, SE17 1FH. PARSONS ANDY SQUARE: COFFEE/CASTLE COWBOY BLACK

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 38 Love Local

Tibetan Peace Garden ‘Where do I start? I always spent my Sundays after church sitting in this Peace Garden with my dad. The Dalai Laughland Lama opened it years ago and he left a Southwark Communications piece of his peacefulness here. I took my ‘Kevin is the man you need for current partner here on our first date any technical issues. A local, a and I think it set the scene of our man with a million stories, the relationship.’ biggest smile and my most 107a St George’s Rd. trusted tech whizz.’ Borough Unit 17 Castle Square. NEWINGTON

Lambeth North

G Cafe ‘I love this café so much. There is a lovely Indian auntie that sells biryani in tupperware Elephant for £4: big portions and & Castle Hoa Phuong homemade. I always go there ‘This is a go-to takeaway for a quick and homely bite.’ Vietnamese spot. I love it! My 70 London Rd. Open for big brother is Vietnamese and takeaway. took me here in my teens – after a long day, all you want is their Black three-bean dessert.’ LAMBETH Cowboy Coffee 4 Hampton St. Open for ‘The best coffee in Elephant takeaway. & Castle. John is a legend – full of stories. If you’re having a bad day, I promise his drinks and aura will make you feel much, much better.’ Elephant Arcade, 50 London Rd. Open for takeaway. Casa Colombia Kennington ‘One of my favourite KENNINGTON Colombian spots in Elephant. They sell empanadas and great coffee and WALWORTH have the loveliest customer service. East Street Elephant wouldn’t be Elephant without Market the Latin community and it’s important ‘Anything you need – food, to spend in our local economy.’ fish, clothes, bits for the Eagle Yard Arch, 141 Walworth Rd. house – this is where you go. As Open for takeaway. a native Elephant girl, this is a staple market and place in my upbringing.’ East St.

Bagel King ‘This is a legendary spot Elephant & Castle in our community. You will catch every person you ever grew up with here at stupid o’clock. Order your favourite type of bagel followed by a slush. Thank me later.’ Singer (and lifelong 280 Walworth Rd. Open for Time Out’s Love Local campaign takeaway. supports food, drink and culture resident) Joy Crookes businesses in London. Find out picks her favourite how you can help at timeout.com/ spots in town lovelocallondon

39 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Escapes

Edited by Ellie Walker-Arnott timeout.com/daytrips

Woodland walkabouts Great big forests near London for frolicking around in and being all wholesome this winter

AN IDYLLIC WALK in the woods Ashdown Forest. Anthropomorphic isn’t limited to summer picnic bears aside, this huge, publicly- weather. We all know that time accessible green space, just † miles spent in nature is good for us, and – south of central London, is a real surprise! – that’s especially the case stunner. Its ‰Š‹†† acres are part of in winter. Mental-health charity the High Weald Area of Outstanding Mind says that being in natural Natural Beauty and offers wooded light and spending time in the hills, open heathland and ace views great outdoors are powerful ways of the surrounding countryside. And to combat SAD (Seasonal Affective a bridge for playing Pooh Sticks ofc. Rendlesham Forest Disorder) as well as any general Free. www.ashdownforest.org grouchiness you might be feeling now that the sun sets just after Rendlesham Forest Suffolk you’ve finished your lunch. If you like your greenery with a side Abinger Roughs Surrey Shere Woodlands Surrey As soon as day trips are allowed of the supernatural, Rendlesham For some perspective on our current Stick around in Surrey to find again, these are the places, all Forest is the one for you. You can world predicament, visit the more wooded wilderness. The within easy reach of the city, to head take the UFO Trail, which wends ancient, gnarly oak trees on Abinger pretty village of Shere (which has for woodland walks, tree hugging, past sites associated with a famous Roughs. Those wise old trunks are mega-festive romcom vibes thanks all the daylight and sweet, sweet unexplained light sighting in more than ™†† years old. They also to its cameo in ‘The Holiday’) is freedom from our flats. December –—˜†. There are also rubbed shoulders with Charles surrounded by the kind of woodland other walking routes, play areas Darwin, who is known to have that feels like it should be much Ashdown Forest and bike trails for exploring this wandered the Roughs in the –˜š†s. further away from a capital city than East Sussex dense, protected woodland. Oh, and To get up close with more veteran it is. You’ll find yourself amid beech, This forest inspired the ‘Hundred- by the way, if you get abducted and trees, stroll into nearby Netley Park’s cypress, yew and dogwood trees, Acre Wood’ in the Winnie the Pooh probed during your visit, we won’t ›–– acres of woodland, also owned frosty in winter and buzzing with books. Writer AA Milne lived at be held responsible. by the National Trust. butterflies come summer. If you’re Cotchford Farm, on the edge of Free. www.forestryengland.uk Free. www.nationaltrust.org.uk feeling adventurous, the North

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 40 Stretch your legs at timeout.com/uk

Hatfield Forest

trees in the forest are more than the only social distancing you’ll ‰•ƒƒƒ years old. Soak it all up on one have to worry about is from the of the many walking routes through resident deer and adder population. the peaceful trees. Free. www.forestryengland.uk Car park £8. Pre-booking essential. www. nationaltrust.org.uk Wendover Woods Buckinghamshire Micheldever Wood Hampshire It’s no surpise that the Chiltern Hills Famous for its carpet of bobbing is an ace place to head to when you bluebells each May, Micheldever want to swap pavements for muddy Wood is also a great place to get country tracks. They’re at the end your fix of the natural stuff of the Met line, and are lush in the colder months. all year round. Try The walking routes Wendover Woods for among the ancient great walking and beech trees, home cycling trails, as to muntjac deer well as Go Ape, (sweet-faced little orienteering and creatures), are a an assault course There are tranquil way to (which will open spend a few hours. after lockdown). legit rural And it’s all just a Wendover Woods. Free. few miles outside the www.forestryengland.uk. vibes to city of Winchester, if King’s Wood Downs Way runs right through the you absolutely must have Broxbourne Woods heart of the wood: east for Dover, be found a damned flat white with Hertfordshire west for Farnham. your nature fix. Hertfordshire’s only National Free. www.surreywildlifetrust.org just a Free. www.surreywildlifetrust.org Nature Reserve, Broxbourne Woods little is around ‚ƒƒ acres of diverse trees. Hatfield Forest Essex King’s Wood Kent It’s just a little beyond the M †, but A historic woodland to rival beyond One-and-half thousand acres of there are legit rural vibes to be found the likes of Epping Forest and trees on the Kent Downs, King’s here: streams, meadows and paths Richmond Park, this is considered the M25 Wood is big enough to let yourself through the woodland. Haven’t the best surviving example of a get lost in. It’s dotted with sculptures really been outside properly since medieval royal hunting ground in crafted from natural materials, the summer? The ‰Š‹†km trail is the Britain. Its history goes back further some of which are now being one if you need a big, full-day dose of than that to the Norman Conquest reclaimed by the forest. Pick a trail the outdoors. ■ Ellie Walker-Arnott KING’S WOOD: FORESTRY ENGLAND FORESTRY WOOD: KING’S and the Romans, while some of the through the trees and with any luck Free. www.hertfordshire.gov.uk

41 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London T ime In

Edited by Phil de Semlyen timeout.com/timein

FILM OF THE WEEK Screenwriter’s blues ‘Mank’

THE DEBATES OVER whether ‘Mank’ introduces its protagonist ‘Citizen Kane’ is the greatest film in ŒŽ‘’ on a literal road to ruin: a car ever made will rage on. But the crash has left him bedridden. Welles greatest film ever made about has ensured the bed in question is ‘Citizen Kane’ has arrived. Heck, on a remote ranch, where a British it might be the best film about secretary Rita Alexander (Lily any film. David Fincher’s latest is Collins) can keep him away from a lavish black-and-white epistle the liquor long enough to meet his to old Hollywood in all its glory, deadline. Then we’re flashing back a cynicism and wild extravagance. decade to his early days, spitballing Utterly furbulous Do you need to be a hardcore with his fellow writers on the Amanda Seyfried as Marion Davies cinephile to enjoy it? Not remotely. Paramount lot before falling into the The title character is Herman J orbit of MGM’s bully-boy boss Louis Mankiewicz (Gary Oldman), the B Mayer (Arliss Howard). booze-soaked Broadway playwright- Fincher makes it all look, and call recognisable, but an on-form – and fatally – overplays his hand. turned-screenwriter Orson Welles sound, like a Welles film, with cast embodies them without a trace Burke is wonderful, as ever, (Tom Burke) taps up to help write theatrical fades, echoey sound of cartoonishness. Collins’s tender despite a dodgy prosthetic nose. the script for ‘Citizen Kane’. He’s mixing and an homage of a score scenes with Oldman are a highlight, Tuppence Middleton is far too been lured to Hollywood initially for from Trent Reznor and Atticus while Charles Dance’s newspaper young to play Mankiewicz’s wife the money, but increasingly for the Ross. The visuals ape the deep- baron William Randolph Hearst is Sara, but she peps up the role of long- chance to play the holy fool in the focus photography of ‘Kane’ DP an altogether different beast from suffering spouse. Amanda Seyfried court of its unscrupulous moguls. Gregg Toland, capturing every the character he famously inspired: is on career-best form as Hearst’s Oldman relishes every sly aside and conspiratorial exchange in the Charles Foster Kane. Citizen Hearst mistress Marion Davies, a savvier boozy, grandstanding speech in a background of its party scenes. is a vampiric, taciturn presence at customer than, the ‘Citizen Kane’ script (by Fincher’s dad, Jack) with It helps that, Welles aside, few of the parties he throws at his castle. character, Susan Alexander, she

plenty of both. the characters here are what you’d It’s at one of them that Mank finally was rumoured to have inspired. BFI COURTESY LINES: COUNTY NETFLIX; MANK:

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 42 The best films to stream at timeout.com/film

Host

UNTIL SOMEONE MAKES a film about a WHAT IS IT… The world’s first haunted sourdough starter, this ingenious lockdown Zoom horror movie will remain the zeitgeistiest thing to horror film. emerge from lockdown. Major props to director Rob Savage and his cobbled-together cast and crew for whipping up something this fresh and WHY GO… It’s even more freaky while the rest of us were busy trying to terrifying than keep up with Joe Wicks on YouTube. an actual Zoom The premise has a group of uni mates catching meeting. up on Zoom, laughing, in-joking, doing shots and grousing about being stuck inside quarantining as they wait for the star attraction to turn up. Director Rob Savage She turns out to be a medium who promises to (15) 57 mins. In cinemas connect them with spirits. She forgets to tell and streaming Dec 4. them that taking the piss during the seance could have very grim consequences. They take the piss. It has very grim consequences. ‘Host’ wears its debt to found-footage horrors like ‘The Blair Witch Project’ and Japanese shocker ‘Noroi: The Curse’ on its sleeve, while briskly reworking the formula into a laptop-based horror with big jumps and relatable bits where the wifi craps out. The meat of it unfolds within the familiar parameters of a 45-minute Zoom call, but there’s enough creepy atmospherics and nastiness crammed in to leave you drained when the call ends. If you’re after a film to give you cold sweats and teach you the ins and outs of video conferencing, look no further. ■ Phil de Semlyen

County Lines

THIS DRUGS DRAMA from ex-youth worker WHAT IS IT… A gritty Brit flick Henry Blake packs all the authenticity you’d inspired by the expect from a filmmaker who knows what he’s county lines crisis. talking about. It charts the pressures that draw thousands of British teens into the county lines crisis – where big-city dealers get youngsters to WHY GO… Conrad Khan is great traffic drugs into the countryside – through the as a kid lured into a eyes of brooding 14-year-old Tyler (Conrad Khan). With his mum (Ashley Madekwe) struggling to criminal underworld. compensate for the dad who left, Tyler falls under the spell of a self-proclaimed ‘entrepreneur’ WHAT IS IT… David Fincher Director Henry Blake who drives a Merc, flashes his cash and oozes unpicks the legend (15) 90 mins. In cinemas persuasive menace. Played by Harris Dickinson, and lunacy behind and streaming Dec 4. he’s soon coaxing Tyler to skip school for trainer ‘Citizen Kane’. shopping and a burger. You suspect Tyler knows he’s being groomed, but it barely matters: he’s WHY GO… being offered an escape. Of sorts. For Gary Oldman But it’s Oldman’s show. Whether You’re ushered into Tyler’s box-fresh sneakers being Oscar-worthy. wittily haranguing his hosts at yet to experience a life of nervy train journeys, Again. another soirée or recoiling from hurried deals and squalid trap houses. It’s all Hollywood’s toxic political culture, enveloped in a soundscape of distant shouting, Director David he’s magnetic as a rogue with a hostile voices and sirens. It’s not a comfortable Fincher (12A) mouth that gets him into trouble and experience – and it shouldn’t be. 131 mins. a pen that gets him out of it. The last Khan is terrific, sensitive beneath the time Oldman played a heavy drinker sullenness. There’s despair here, but from the s, he won an Oscar for compassion too. The grottiest movie loo since it. He may even do it again.■ ‘Trainspotting’ aside, Blake’s compositions have Phil de Semlyen eerie beauty. You can’t say the same for the life of In cinemas and streaming on Netflix Fri Dec 4. its young protagonist. ■ Phil de Semlyen

43 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Time In

More Time In tips at timeout.com/timein Perfect 1 prezzies for movie-lovers 2 From Brian Eno scores to a Lego Diagon Alley: festive treats for any budget

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1. Cinephile: A Card Game. £16.99. www.thehambledon.com. 2. Lego Diagon Alley. £369.99. www.lego.com. 3. Brian Eno – ‘Film Music 1976-2020’. £25.99. www.enoshop.co.uk. 4. ‘The Ladykillers’ 65th Anniversary Collector’s Edition Blu-ray. £39.99. www.hmv.com. 5. ‘Accidentally Wes Anderson’. £25. www. accidentallywesanderson.com. 6. ‘The Big Goodbye’. £17.65. www.bookshop.org. 7. ‘The Mandalorian’ Christmas baubles. £12.99 each. www.geekstore.com. 8. Cobra Kai T-shirt. £20. www.lastexittonowhere.com. 9. Great British Film and TV Map. £14.99. www.marvellousmaps.com. 10. Disney Villains postcard box. £19.99. shop.bfi.org.uk. 11. ‘Watchmen’: Season 1 Blu-ray. £19.99. shop.warnerbros.co.uk. ANDY PARSONS ANDY

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 44 Time In

Three arty puzzles Bring London’s galleries to your kitchen table

THERE ARE FEW festive joys greater or more soothing than sitting down to a good jigsaw puzzle while semi-tiddled on Christmas port. If you’re lucky, you may even learn something through a process Josef Albers of osmosis: as in the case of this trio of London artistic treasures ready for reassembly. Rosetta Stone jigsaw puzzle ‘The Swing’ jigsaw puzzle Josef Albers wood puzzle set from the British Museum from the Wallace Collection from Tate Pretend you’re an expert ‘The Swing’ is what passed for kinky This puzzle is very simple, but that’s archaeologist by doing this Rosetta titillation back in Fragonard’s day, how old Josef Albers would have Stone puzzle (£13). But when you so you can enjoy the thrill of being liked it. The Bauhaus supremo was put all the pieces together, you’ll a Rococo perv just like the bloke an early minimalist, simplifying art realise that you still can’t decipher sneaking a peek up the lady’s skirt down to its barest essentials, so just hieroglyphics, you’re not an expert here, all from the comfort of your do this puzzle (£21.99), then do it archaeologist at all and you should dining room table. It’s yours for a again. It’s called wellness, look it up. just stick to Netflix. tenner. ■ Eddy Frankel Six 25-piece puzzles. shop.tate.org.uk 800 pieces. www.britishmuseumshoponline.org 100 pieces. www.wallacecollectionshop.org Podcasts to make you cleverer Culture editor Andrzej Łukowski picks four brain-empowering hits

Start with This The New Yorker Fiction Podcast You know a podcast is making you cleverer when Merely looking at a copy of the New Yorker can it involves homework. This one is the brainchild make you up to 15 percent cleverer, and the of the creators of Welcome to Night Vale, a creepy same goes for listening to its flagship podcast. pod set in an imaginary US town. Each episode A current staffer reads a short story by a former gives listeners something to consume, and New Yorker writer – often several decades former something to create (usually a book or TV show – and discusses it with the magazine’s fiction in the first instance, and a writing assignment editor Deborah Treisman. It’s entertaining, sure, in the second). The object is to help boost your but it’s the delving into the thought processes creativity, and the subjects of the episodes are of a succession of extremely smart Americans – satisfyingly varied, from ‘Present Tense’ to ‘Non- think ZZ Packer, Bryan Washington, Jhumpa Lahiri Lovecraftian Horror’. – that gives it its zing. www.nightvalepresents.com/startwiththis www.newyorker.com/podcast/fiction Philosophy Bites How to Do Everything Sure, your Platos and your Nietzsches are NPR’s popular podcast wrapped up about four still famous long after their deaths, but most years ago without literally telling us how to do philosophies remain pretty obscure. Had any everything. But there’s still a treasure trove of chats about the importance of metaphysics knowledge stored in its archive, as hosts Mike to our understanding of the world? Know what Danforth and Ian Chillag solve problems that you verificationism is? If you listened to this lovable hadn’t previously realised were problems: from UK podcast, you absolutely would. Hosts Nigel mounting an impassioned defence of weasels, to Warburton and David Edmonds invite guests tips on bluffing your way through a conversation for great intros to the debates, thinkers and about golf. Its 265 episodes are all standing by to thoughts that have shaped our world. help enhance your brainy parts. ■

JOSEF ALBERS PUZZLE: DIEGO G VALLEJO G DIEGO PUZZLE: ALBERS JOSEF philosophybites.com www.howtodoeverything.org

45 December 1 – 7 2020 Time Out London Time In

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO Science fiction novels Don’t know your Asimov from your elbow? Let Eddy Frankel ease you into the realm of sci-fi literature

MAYBE YOU’VE Haldeman’s ‘Forever War’, which always thought science is one of the greatest screw-yous to fiction was for weird conflict ever written. sweaty nerds, but now And all this before you’ve even that we’re deep into touched on the gender-critical another lockdown, you’ve become works of Ursula K Le Guin (start sci-curious and you’re interested with ‘The Left Hand of Darkness’), in dipping your toe into the gas the afrofuturism of Nnedi Okorafor, nebula of science fiction. So, Samuel Delany or Octavia E Butler welcome: we weird sweaty nerds (the ‘Dawn’trilogy is staggeringly are happy to have you. good), or the speculative fiction of Science fiction isn’t all spaceships writers like Margaret Atwood. and space battles (though there is My personal faves are the ultra- a lot of that), and when it’s good, left-wing anarchist society created it’s a proper escape from the real by Iain M Banks in his ‘Culture’ series world. But what makes it special is (especially ‘Excession’) and Kim its subject matter. Because while Stanley Robinson’s vision of what fantasy is all about getting horny colonising another planet would for dragons and jousting, science capitalism , science fiction is full of C Clarke’s ‘Rendezvous with Rama’. actually be like in his ‘Mars’trilogy. fiction uses space and technology fables that tell us about humanity Space opera is more about big, grand But there is so much to explore in metaphorically – great science right now, and where it’s going. tales, like Frank Herbert’s ‘Dune’ (a science fiction, so many worlds and fiction isn’t just about spaceships, it There are loads of subgenres. simile for the oil industry) or Isaac ideas, and almost all of it is relevant uses spaceships to tell a story about Hard science fiction uses actual Asimov’s pivotal ‘Foundation’ series. to our world today. Strap in, beam our time. science to tell its stories, like Poul Then you’ve got dystopian classics yourself up and throw away your Whether it’s gender politics, Anderson’s ‘Tau Zero’, about a ship like Cormac McCarthy’s ‘The Road’, deodorant, you’re a weird sweaty racism, environmental collapse or that can’t stop accelerating or Arthur and military science fiction like Joe nerd now. ■

Three ways THINK YOU MIGHT have a secret to show you how to finger a D. Andy Eddie Van Halen hidden deep within Guitar is the most viewed, with a to learn you? Well, you should probably super-approachable free ten-day go to a doctor, but after that, you guitar course, but you can’t go might want to start learning how to too far wrong with Marty Music guitar online play guitar. Here’s an easy guide to or JustinGuitar. Then give Rick getting started online. Beato and Paul Davids a go when Make like St Vincent with you’re more advanced. Oh, and these handyandy howhow-to to tutoriatutorialsls App it’s all totally free, you just have Fender Play offers a super to sit through 10 million ads for 1easy introduction to guitar (or Skillshare. bass, if six strings feels like two too many; or ukulele, if you have no Patreon self-respect) from one of the world’s Social media is full of biggest guitar manufacturers. Hey, if 3amazing guitarists – take a it was good enough for Jimi Hendrix, bow, Instagram – and most of your it’s good enough for you. It’s offering faves will probably also have a a free three-month trial for new Patreon where you can sign up for starters, and you’ll get to learn exclusive lessons, and sometimes songs by your favourite artists in the even one-to-one private tutorials process. Then you can buy one of with people like Rob Swift and the its new Player series Mustangs and aforementioned Paul Davids. There pretend you’re Kurt Cobain too. are even Patreon accounts for exclusive tablature (an easy kind YouTube of music notation) for any genre YouTube is full of white guys you want. All the information is out 2with boring names, big smiles there, so get shredding. ■

and acoustic guitars, all gagging Eddy Frankel ZAPALAC DANNY BY PHOTO PLAY, FENDER GUITAR: LEARN

Time Out London December 1 – 7 2020 46

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