Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
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MORE ADVANCE NOISE FOR QUIET “An intriguing and potentially life- altering examination of the human psyche that is sure to benefit both introverts and extroverts alike.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review) “Gentle is powerful … Solitude is so- cially productive … These important counterintuitive ideas are among the many reasons to take Quiet to a quiet corner and absorb its brilliant, thought-provoking message.” —ROSABETH MOSS KANTER, profess- or at Harvard Business School, author of Confidence and SuperCorp “An informative, well-researched book on the power of quietness and the 3/929 virtues of having a rich inner life. It dis- pels the myth that you have to be ex- troverted to be happy and successful.” —JUDITH ORLOFF, M.D., author of Emotional Freedom “In this engaging and beautifully written book, Susan Cain makes a powerful case for the wisdom of intro- spection. She also warns us ably about the downside to our culture’s noisiness, including all that it risks drowning out. Above the din, Susan’s own voice re- mains a compelling pres- ence—thoughtful, generous, calm, and eloquent. Quiet deserves a very large readership.” —CHRISTOPHER LANE, author of Shy- ness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness 4/929 “Susan Cain’s quest to understand intro- version, a beautifully wrought jour- ney from the lab bench to the motiv- ational speaker’s hall, offers convin- cing evidence for valuing substance over style, steak over sizzle, and qualit- ies that are, in America, often derided. This book is brilliant, profound, full of feeling and brimming with insights.” —SHERI FINK, M.D., author of War Hospital “Brilliant, illuminating, empower- ing! Quiet gives not only a voice, but a path to homecoming for so many who’ve walked through the better part of their lives thinking the way they en- gage with the world is something in need of fixing.” 5/929 —JONATHAN FIELDS, author of Uncer- tainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance “Once in a blue moon, a book comes along that gives us startling new in- sights. Quiet is that book: it’s part page- turner, part cutting-edge science. The implications for business are especially valuable: Quiet offers tips on how intro- verts can lead effectively, give winning speeches, avoid burnout, and choose the right roles. This charming, grace- fully written, thoroughly researched book is simply masterful.” —ADAM M. GRANT, PH.D., associate professor of management, the Wharton School of Business 6/929 STILL MORE ADVANCE NOISE FOR QUIET “Shatters misconceptions … Cain con- sistently holds the reader’s interest by presenting individual profiles … and re- porting on the latest studies. Her dili- gence, research, and passion for this important topic has richly paid off.” —Publishers Weekly “Quiet elevates the conversation about introverts in our outwardly oriented so- ciety to new heights. I think that many introverts will discover that, even though they didn’t know it, they have been waiting for this book all their lives.” —ADAM S. MCHUGH, author of Intro- verts in the Church 7/929 “Susan Cain’s Quiet is wonderfully in- formative about the culture of the ex- travert ideal and the psychology of a sensitive temperament, and she is help- fully perceptive about how introverts can make the most of their personality preferences in all aspects of life. Soci- ety needs introverts, so everyone can benefit from the insights in this im- portant book.” —JONATHAN M. CHEEK, professor of psychology at Wellesley College, co-ed- itor of Shyness: Perspectives on Research and Treatment “A brilliant, important, and person- ally affecting book. Cain shows that, for all its virtue, America’s Extrovert Ideal takes up way too much oxygen. Cain herself is the perfect person to make this case—with winning grace and clarity she shows us what it 8/929 looks like to think outside the group.” —CHRISTINE KENNEALLY, author of The First Word “What Susan Cain understands—and readers of this fascinating volume will soon appreciate—is something that psy- chology and our fast-moving and fast- talking society have been all too slow to realize: Not only is there really nothing wrong with being quiet, re- flective, shy, and introverted, but there are distinct advantages to be- ing this way. —JAY BELSKY, Robert M. and Natalie Reid Dorn Professor, Human and Com- munity Development, University of California, Davis “Author Susan Cain exemplifies her own quiet power in this exquisitely 9/929 written and highly readable page- turner. She brings important research and the introvert experience.” —JENNIFER B. KAHNWEILER, PH.D., author of The Introverted Leader “Several aspects of Quiet are remark- able. First, it is well informed by the re- search literature but not held captive by it. Second, it is exceptionally well written, and ‘reader friendly.’ Third, it is insightful. I am sure many people wonder why brash, impulsive behavior seems to be rewarded, whereas reflect- ive, thoughtful behavior is overlooked. This book goes beyond such superficial impressions to a more penetrating analysis.” —WILLIAM GRAZIANO, professor, De- partment of Psychological Sciences, Purdue University Copyright © 2012 by Susan Cain All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Crown Pub- lishers, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York. www.crownpublishing.com CROWN and the Crown colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc. The BIS/BAS Scales on this page–this page copyright © 1994 by the American Psycholo- gical Association. Adapted with permission. From “Behavioral Inhibition, Behavioral Activa- tion, and Affective Responses to Impending Re- ward and Punishment: The BIS/BAS Scales.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 67(2): 319–33. The use of APA information does not imply endorsement by APA. 12/929 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Cain, Susan. Quiet : the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking / Susan Cain.—1st ed. p. cm. 1. Introverts. 2. Introversion. 3. Extroversion. 4. Interpersonal relations. I. Title. BF698.35.I59C35 2012 155.2′32—dc22 2010053204 eISBN: 978-0-307-45220-7 Jacket design by Laura Duffy Jacket photography by Joe Ginsberg/Getty Images v3.1 To my childhood family A species in which everyone was General Patton would not succeed, any more than would a race in which everyone was Vin- cent van Gogh. I prefer to think that the planet needs athletes, philosophers, sex symbols, painters, scientists; it needs the warmhearted, the hardhearted, the cold- hearted, and the weakhearted. It needs those who can devote their lives to study- ing how many droplets of water are secreted by the salivary glands of dogs un- der which circumstances, and it needs those who can capture the passing impres- sion of cherry blossoms in a fourteen-syl- lable poem or devote twenty-five pages to the dissection of a small boy’s feelings as he lies in bed in the dark waiting for his mother to kiss him goodnight.… Indeed the presence of outstanding strengths 15/929 presupposes that energy needed in other areas has been channeled away from them. —ALLEN SHAWN Contents Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication Epigraph Author’s Note INTRODUCTION: The North and South of Temperament PART ONE: THE EXTROVERT IDEAL 1. THE RISE OF THE “MIGHTY LIKEABLE FELLOW”: How Extroversion Became the Cultural Ideal 17/929 2. THE MYTH OF CHARISMATIC LEADERSHIP: The Culture of Personality, a Hundred Years Later 3. WHEN COLLABORATION KILLS CREATIVITY: The Rise of the New Group- think and the Power of Working Alone PART TWO: YOUR BIOLOGY, YOUR SELF? 4. IS TEMPERAMENT DESTINY?: Nature, Nurture, and the Orchid Hypothesis 5. BEYOND TEMPERAMENT: The Role of Free Will (and the Secret of Public Speaking for Introverts) 6. “FRANKLIN WAS A POLITICIAN, BUT ELEANOR SPOKE OUT OF CONSCIENCE”: Why Cool Is Overrated 18/929 7. WHY DID WALL STREET CRASH AND WARREN BUFFETT PROSPER?: How Intro- verts and Extroverts Think (and Process Do- pamine) Differently PART THREE: DO ALL CULTURES HAVE AN EXTROVERT IDEAL? 8. SOFT POWER: Asian-Americans and the Extrovert Ideal PART FOUR: HOW TO LOVE, HOW TO WORK 9. WHEN SHOULD YOU ACT MORE EXTROVERTED THAN YOU REALLY ARE? 10. THE COMMUNICATION GAP: How to Talk to Members of the Opposite Type 19/929 11. ON COBBLERS AND GENERALS: How to Cultivate Quiet Kids in a World That Can’t Hear Them CONCLUSION: Wonderland A Note on the Dedication A Note on the Words Introvert and Extrovert Acknowledgments Notes Author’s Note I have been working on this book offi- cially since 2005, and unofficially for my entire adult life. I have spoken and written to hundreds, perhaps thou- sands, of people about the topics covered inside, and have read as many books, scholarly papers, magazine articles, chat-room discussions, and blog posts. Some of these I mention in the book; others informed almost every sentence I wrote. Quiet stands on many shoulders, especially the scholars and researchers whose work taught me so much. In a perfect world, I would have named every one of my sources, ment- ors, and interviewees. But for the sake of readability, some names appear only in the Notes or Acknowledgments. 21/929 For similar reasons, I did not use el- lipses or brackets in certain quotations but made sure that the extra or missing words did not change the speaker’s or writer’s meaning. If you would like to quote these written sources from the original, the citations directing you to the full quotations appear in the Notes. I’ve changed the names and identify- ing details of some of the people whose stories I tell, and in the stories of my own work as a lawyer and consultant.